Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - "Class FTM License" (w/ Spike Einbinder + Honey Pluton)

Episode Date: September 2, 2026

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I'm Mangishatigula, and I'm back with a new season of my podcast, Skyline Drive. This time I talked to... scientists, biopunks, curmudgins, blues owners, super seniors, and Goa's top cryotherapy lab to try to understand this obsession with living forever and what it means for all of us. And I get into a bit of trouble along the way. I'd say probably start bone smashing. That doesn't work. To make it look more defined.

They say it works. I don't know. Listen to Skyline Drive, How to Live Forever on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I survived nine months in captivity. and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced.

These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Look, man. Where? Oh, I see. Wow. Bowen, look over there. Wow. Is that culture?

Yes. Oh, goodness. Wow. Las cultureistas. Ding dong. Las Culturistas calling. It was just time to be real. Yeah.

Guys, it's back. Be real. Be real. I'm telling you. You have the app. Be real and it was just time to be real? Someone, I forget who. It was just time to be real.

No, no, no. I was like a 10 minutes ago. What year is it? too. Okay. I am so, it is, remember when we all, like, we're on the same page about it and we're like, this is the panacea, we can be cured of this terrible, noxious force in the world. Yeah. And then we all forgot about it. Like, we all bailed in such a crazy way. Yeah. It is still, like, there's only six people on it, by the way. Really? But we're all a community. Like six people that we know? That we know. Okay, cool. And everyone, it's, you're like, wow, I guess we're,

were all the same, huh? What I was also saying to you before we started that Be Real also allows me is to know where people are, which now that I've sort of endeavored to become a part of Find My Friends culture, I kind of have to know where everyone is. And sometimes I'll meet someone for the first time

and I'll go to check on Find My Friends and I'm like, oh right, I just met them. I'm not entitled to their location. However, today I am looking forward to getting the location of both of our guests. I'm not saying we have to hang out every day. I'm just saying I would like to know where they are all the time, especially now. But then this requires buy-in for them to be like, here, well, here, we'll share a location.

All right. Let me tell you something. We've been doing almost 600 episodes of this podcast. And that's tea. And that's tea. And just before we bring our guests in, we have to do some light morning on the episode. And I do apologize about that. But like, we can't have the episode.

just come out without mentioning. And of course, there was Hayden Panetteer, and now there is Tim Curry. So it was already tough. And Hayden Panetteer is a figure of great Elsie lore. She looms large in Elsie. Truly just saw Rocky Horror the other day. Like right after they announced Kingdom Hearts 4,

it's actually so sad. Yeah. I mean, and also like, she was so, so, so good, too. Go watch Remember the Titans again. Just remember. and then also think about should she have been doing this, should people be child stars? But we're not going to get into the topic of it.

We're more just mourning. Yeah. I think our guests will solve that for us. And just to say, Dolly Parton, that is, it's so tough. We can get into it a bit. But, like, I just want to, like, let that be something that we acknowledge that we probably have lost the most beloved pop culture figure maybe ever. And it sounds hyperbolic to say that, but I don't think it's.

I don't think so. God, I like always thought I was like just casual. It feels crazy to just like talk to a guest like this. I know. And here and we're going to bring them in. Okay. Okay. This is a perfect portal into bringing them in. Okay.

They are both on tour in some of the great cities of the world. New York, San Francisco, Berlin, London, Paris. And see if it's on the list. And then, L.A. Spike is doing L.A. by himself. Solo, psycho, psycho. He just kind of revealed to me the this. That's the Dodgers thing.

Oh, is it? Yeah. Angelino vibes. Let's bring them in so we can all mourn. We have to bring them in so we can mourn together. We can work together. No, my silence feels like a bit. We're like, I literally feel like I'm acting.

I'm like, that was an audition. No, we. It doesn't feel right. For quiet man under the stairs. No. Five. You booked. You've booked.

There's four other quiet men at least. Yeah. They booked. to everyone please welcome into your ears. Spike Eye Miner and Honey Bluton! Now let's mourn Do you want to just quickly mourn with us? Because it feels like, yay, come in for the fun episode and like Dolly Parton is dead. And Tim Curry is also dead.

And Tim Curry is also dead. Part of mourning is celebrating. Yes. You know, we have to come together and think about these people that have brought us so much life. Uh-huh. And through their death, they will continue to allow us to live literally like it's actually not hyperbolic. Dolly Pardon I learned today from Instagram story, but it is real.

Yes. Had an F to M trans man chauffeur. Her entire career. She is truly a bastion. I have full body chills, by the way, Anna Merect. Like I'm completely overwhelmed with any emotion a human being can have and delivering that news. You're at body max thinking about this.

Your pores and your dick are like pointing to heaven where she is. Completely. And she's waving down and saying, you're welcome. Yeah. Nipples on her big tits are pointing back down at us. It's kind of a nipple to dick, like, thread. Sort of magnet. It's an invisible string.

It's going to be a new constellation in the sky. I'll be like, Orion's belt, big dipper. I'm going to cry. But it's also that she admitted in the same thing when she was being like questioned on that. Like, why would your driver be like a 300 pound trans man? Which is like, why the fuck not? That's the best, that's the best people who can drive. You're the same.

A 300 pound trans man has never been in a motor accident. No. No. He's never even swerved. No. He's driving at Cadillac eyes closed. No. Defensive driving.

And aggressive. And aggressive. And aggressive. Defensive and aggressive. People get a Class D license, class M license. The class Ftm license. You never get an accident. Whoa, my.

Sorry, what's a class? TM license is really strong. Yeah. Sorry, I'm stupid and I guess I don't drive. I don't know how to drive. But what's class D and class M? Class M is motorcycle. Motorcycle.

And then D is truck? D is driving. driving the car. What's so funny is I was coming through being like, oh, it's just different types of licenses. And he literally just revealed to me that class M is motorcycle. Wow. I didn't know you'd need a separate license, but of course you do it.

And I'm in a really big fight with the DMV because I'm really trying to get a motorcycle license and they have to make me drive a car first. They want to see if I can do four so I can do two. Yes. They don't trust me with four wheels. That's not how bikes work. No, it's not. Exactly.

I'm on a bike every day with my eyes closed. They want me to do four wheels. I don't think. Helmet? No, not yet. Foreshadowing. Helmet?

Helmet? Helmet on the motorcycle, yes. Thank you. I don't know. It's not a sure thing. It's not a sure thing. You need it. Oh yeah.

There's no question. This isn't an aerosmith video. Yeah. Exactly. I'm not live Tyler yet. I'll be sort of like excising my like libidinal death drive another way than that.

Oh, wait. We need to talk about Dolly just a little bit longer, but I just want to really put out there Well, I can save it for later, but like, I bring you up almost every day, Spike. What? Because dogs all always come in. To hear?

No, no, just in conversation. Where are they? I wish. Took under your seat. Then mission. I was so ready. The last time a dog was here was Orna Geronics dog. And then that caused a lot of controversy.

Yeah. Yeah, I got a word for her. You got a word for her? And Orna, we can talk after you get the $250 fine for an awfully dog that happens to people in New York who don't obey the law. There you go. Anyway, continue. I will say the DMs that we got

after that episode from people who claimed to have intimate knowledge of. They're survivors of Ornus Dog. Well, they are Park Slope residents who see her walk around. They're ready to email. The email was drafted.

It was drafted. Literally, it was like someone was in my DMM. I showed everyone that we knew. It was amazing. It was like, hi, I'm a long time fan and reader. Unleashed, unleashed. She let her dog be off leash. and then let it.

She can do whatever she wants. Also, her eyebrows are solving the crisis of polyamory. Across America. The crisis of polyamory. She can do whatever she wants. No, I think that she was also in her story revealing that her dog

pooped in the bush and she didn't do anything about it. That's what it was as well. It was like she was tacitly being like, I let the dog go in a bush and then a man was upset at me. It's like, why do you think he was upset? Because your dog's shit and you didn't pick a All I want to say is I'm not saying this. This is the person that told me about it saying this.

Apparently she quote, and I quote the person who sent me this DM, strolls around the park like a mob boss. So she. While the dog is, and the dog was very well behaved here. Nico was very well. Nico was a angel. Let's be clear. Nico didn't ask to be put into the laws and structures of New York City.

Speak on it. It's Oran's job. Wake it up. Yeah. So you'd be taking care of that. So the reason why I, the reason why you come up a lot is because on my, I'm banned from that dog, my dog father. Dog father. You are the dog father.

It's true. It's true. But in my sort of like, assympotal journey to dog ownership in the sense that like it may never happen, I constantly quote Spike where I'm like, well, my friend who is like dog father says like I should dog sit first for friends, then foster, then adopt. and I'm like, I need like a solid 24 months of runway of like free time for that to really happen. I agree with you. And so like when it's, you know, I don't know if it's going to happen. It's, it's fine. It's like also like you can be like the fun uncle of your friend's dogs.

Like I need more people to lock into that being a role because that is necessary. That's like it takes a village style. Yes. Because the only dogs that gay people forget that they are alive. Right. Right. They are not an accessory. And they're not toys.

It's not toy story, in fact. They're completely actually sentient. They need food, water, play. They have their own mental health. Absolutely. And not in the way that, like, gay guys, it kind of do need the way that gay guys need food, water, and play. Now that I'm thinking about it.

Well, gay guys are barely sentient. No. Or dogs are sentient and they get that up. Well, gay guys are more cats, no? Depends. No, I, well, gay guys are cats when they're going meow. Yeah. Yes.

That's actually real cool to number nine. Gay guys are cats when they're going meow. Wait, I'm not supposed to say it with you. Yes, you are. You should feel free to. Gay guys are cats at night and dogs during the day. Yeah. Because during the day, it's like chicken.

I want to read that comic book. It's like chicken salad and like crossfit. Which are dog. For dogs. Totally dog things. Yeah. Right. And then at night it's, we're going meow.

At night, it's like we're like yowling on a fence to be fun. Totally. And also like the concept of gay guy music video night is kind of autism. And so cat. You're speaking my language. You know what I mean? Absolutely. Sing to me math.

Wait, but while you're on the road, who's taking care of the dogs? Mr. Eric Henry Jimenez. I love him. My partner of 10 years and fiancee. Wait, him, them, did he misgender? He's him and will sometimes cross-dress. That's mine. Yeah.

I have a cis male. No, no, seriously. And then why do you think I'm hitching my wife? And hey God, please wake that up. No, yes. And that meaning Tim Curry. Hurry, bring him back to life. Please wake that up.

Okay, wait, the one thing, last thing I want to say about Dali Parton is I'm wondering now in death, if we will learn if the urban legend is true. About her sleeves? Yes, about her tattoos. I don't think we'll ever know. I don't think so either. In the video, they were like, we're burying her in cotton because she lives. Once to finally be light and comfortable.

And, like, resting and comfortable. Because she lived her life in rhinestones. That makes me think the sleeves are present. They absolutely must be. Yeah, it was almost like. an addendum. Well, it was a couple of things. It was like, she's going to be buried this way. Stop asking about the sleeves. That's the subtext.

And there was another thing which speaks to what you were saying earlier, which is like one of the things that her nephew made a point of saying was in the video that he released was, and to her trans and gay fans, she wants you to know that she loved you. She said she

would have been a drag queen if she was a man. That's too much. And tattoo and cotton are only two letters off. Wait a minute. Right. From. Like if you take the C and N away and make a T, it's the same. You can apply that to so many words.

Yeah, for cotton and tattoo. A word can be a different words. All the letters were different. No, if you take away C and N and add T and A tattoo in cotton. You're like national treasuring. Or you just add a. If you fold a $20 bill. You fold a $20 bill like an airplane.

You see the twin towers. Yeah. But, Dave, have you ever done that? No, he's right about that. I'm like, have you ever done that with the $20? Someone gave me $20? I don't give it back. Chill me to the bones.

It'll blow your mind. And then I just pocket it. I'm like, yeah, so going to Mizzel's candy shop. How are you guys? Okay, so I saw a trailer drop for like the 9-11 documentary. I'm in it. I have it. As just like.

I'm going, what's that? I'm like, hey, look there. You play the person who panned over from the Twin Towers to, to the glitter. Yeah, Carries glitter billboards. Which the fact that someone was gay enough to do that that day. It's magical.

I know we have to remember all the heroes, is what I'm saying. Yeah. That's definitely culture. Yeah. In a big way. The gift of that. And by the way, I think that we're going to be coming up on the anniversary of two things, 9-11 and glitter. And Gile.

And Gile. Same day. Wasn't, wait, was it Gile or Glitter? Glitter came out in September 11th. were 2003. Gile was a little bit later, I think. Gile was kind of like when we all had the flags of the car. Oh.

Wow. Yeah. Wait, where on the car? In the window. In the window. Oh. Have you seen? Have you ever seen Geli?

No. No, but I am a Ben Affleck. He's like my tether. Yeah. Yeah. It's like every sense. Talk more about this. Every time he drinks Dunkin' Donuts, I receive caffeine.

Yeah, you're such a Duncan guy. Honey's HP goes up. Honey Blutoe. No. Hap. Yeah. I just think that there's there's just so like the paparazzi images of him like kneeling against his house like so exasperated for cigarettes like his back tattoo is you. Back.

His gigantic. The color color. Yeah. That's going to be my friend. No. He just, yeah. He's just a, he really is, even though he is a dad, he is also the graphic teas that say you're not the stepdad. You're the dad that stepped up.

Yeah. And that is my gender. He's kind of like Punisher tea with Hello Kitty Bow. Yeah. And he has a trans child. And I'm obsessed with Violet Affleck. And here's the thing. Yes.

And also, I don't know if you've been engaging the way we have lately with Jennifer Garner culture. But we really, really love and respect her. And the fact that she stuck it out so long with him and really tried to make it work and now co-parents with him and it seems like a healthy way. Actually, everything aside,

I'm willing to say, we love you, we love you, and actually your family. When people say that, like, L.A. doesn't have culture or whatever. It's like that's a big part of LA culture.

It's like an amicable co-parenting of your family. Like blended family is so. Oh, I think you're going to say LA culture is having a Latina X. That's absolutely going to be LA culture for me. Have you ever like seen that in the wild?

I've seen... In my memory? In my memory? I have a Latino ex. Which part of what we said. But the co-parenting of celebrities one time I was at Dojo in New York? This is years ago. Do you remember this?

You told the story. I wasn't there. This is like 15 years ago in New York at Dojo, which is now closed, which sucks because Dojo rocks. Right where we used to. It was where all the kids went on NYU for like cheap sushi cheap. You could get like, you could get like. I didn't know if it was like a karate theme. Sure, sure.

No, it was like, it was like a down short tank. It was like, it was like, it was Japanese. Yeah, so it was a lunch spot that I went to all the time. And one time I was there, and I was sitting there and look over, and there is David Docovny with his two kids. And he is signed up, and the kids are there, and he's sort of looking like a little bit miserable. Of course. And then in walks Taye Leone. He must be spoken pot.

Yeah. Yeah. So literally this, so Taylor Oni comes in. She goes, hey guys, he gets up and just leaves. Then she's with the kids. And I turn to our friend. I won't say his name because this is a little bit, I don't know. But I turned to our friend and I go, why do you think he looked so miserable?

And our friend goes, oh, probably because he couldn't fuck his food. No, no, exactly. Yeah. No, he wants to be having sex and smoking pot. Yeah, he wants to be the same. No, I was like, wait, wait, hold on. Damn it! No.

No, having sex and smoking, that is like the, that is the ultimate chem sex. No, absolutely. That's only legitimate. You want to talk about P&P. Yes. P&P. That stands for Pot and Pop-I. Also, he probably fucks like he wants to believe.

You know what I mean? Like, he's molder, dude. Like, he's been fucking like, like he's been in X-Files in the 90s. You know what I'm saying? That's also the New York co-parent, like, silent, almost subway line transfer handoff of, like, no. And LA is being like, are you guys going to go to the, like, color me mine? Like, oh, I forgot I got to pick up the stuff from the kiln.

Like, okay, see you later, love you. We're getting married again, right? No, like, right? It'll be intimate on the beach. No, for sure. I didn't know what I was thinking. That's beautiful. Yeah. But like, okay, but you're saying, okay, so Spike is going to perform in Los Angeles, but you,

you have this like, this is how I feel about Denver. I'm like, I don't know that place anymore. Sarah Sherman is like, I'm going tomorrow. What are your racks? I was like, I literally don't, I couldn't tell you. But you're L.A. guy in the sense that you're like, I don't have to try. I don't have to like seek it out because I just know this. What it is for me is that I was born in Los Angeles.

I'll never not be from L.A. Like, I've lived in New York for 17 years. and I've never said that I'm a New Yorker. Me neither. I'm not. I'm a guy from L.A. who lives here. And I'll be that till I'm dead in the ground, regardless of where I'm buried. Here or there or in space with Tim Curry himself.

Changing the January. It's actually, it isn't a distinction. Dallie Porton is in heaven. Tim Curry is in space. Yes. That's where Frankend Pernard is going to go back to. And Haden Petitier is at Hollister. She's a Hollister.

She's the Hollister in the sky. Absolutely. And she's happy in flip-lops. I know. She's happy and flim, we miss her. But yeah, L.A. is like totally, the landscape has totally changed since when I was there. And, like, I was also, like, doing, I wasn't doing stuff in the way that I had, like, freedom and agency. Like, when I lived there.

You weren't gay there. I was gay in the repressed way. I was gay. Yeah, in eternal sense. People would be like, your hair is weird lesbian. And I was like, it's something else. And I'll figure it out later, thanks. Yeah.

For now, I'm going to take it. Yeah. And I don't brush it because it's hard to. Like, I wasn't gay in Chicago. Yeah. See, I'm from there. But now it's like a... Famously big shirt.

Of course. Big shirt. Yeah. I wish I was gay there because now all the gays are having the most fun in the entire country and they go to drag like every single hour and all the drag queens are named like bread and butter or whatever. They're like, I don't know. That used to be in New York. Bread and butter.

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Must be 19 years of age or older to play. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. Concerned about your gambling or that of someone close to you, visit connectsonterio.ca. On the new podcast Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinero, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're

alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything.

Every week, I'm with survivors who lived through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted. docked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. There's stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to the Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart

on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network. Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners. Each week, we talk to someone in show business, aka the biz and try to help them with their careers

and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicists for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, not that great. Actually, can you help me shape this? How about we flip it on his head?

How about we flip this script? What is the surprised woman? Actually, you think is the straight man is actually the one who's acting weird. Adam Scott. This entire. entire time you've been expecting Adam Sandler to come to visit the show.

I would never let go of that. I have. I would never set expectations for something like that to happen. If the universe allows for something like that to happen, I'm open to it. I'm always going to accept. You know, Danny McBride, fine. Yeah. It's all this fragile masculinity. Exuding. I could smell it walking down the hallway, to be honest with you. I was like, I was like, is that weed? Nope. It's fragile masculinity.

Ben Stiller, no. Because a lot of times out of context, people don't get it or even know what a circle is. You know what I mean? They're like, oh, it's so stupid. Everyone's so dumb. And fake. Right, fake and also not interested or just like, oh, I've got my life. I don't care about your life.

And a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Oh, and by the way, Will Ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode. but he's just so busy. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Um, wait, honey, you're a married man. I am. Congratulations. Just?

So then, so then how fresh? How warm is the body? Three weeks. Three weeks. Yeah, August 8th. Lionsgate portal. Wait, what? A is the Lionsgate portal every year, but it's 2.6, so it's 8-8.

Triple-A, angel numbers. Cotton tattooed. Wow. Conteatitude changed the letters. Numerologist. Number one. $2. $0.

$1. $9. Gileon Glitter, Angel numbers. Illuminati type of. Yes. Angel numbers follow you? Definitely.

I mean, they can follow all of us if we tune in our frequencies. Yes. No, definitely take my six-week course. Yeah. Does everyone have different? Does everyone have...

It's on Zoom. It comes to the free parapsikins at the end. Yeah, it's amazing. When the tapeworm comes out of your ass, trust it's normal. It's going to say something to you really cool and then you flush it, of course. Wait.

But yeah, LA is like, Are you all married to me? Are you what? Do you have? Are you guys married to each other? We don't have, we're not married to each other. Um, we could do worse. Do people think that you're going out?

A lot of people. A lot of people think that about us. Right. Yeah. Because it's two. Because it's like, well, how could your friendship be so awesome? It's like, because that's also a type of relationship that can occur. We're taking pictures with each other completely.

Oh yeah, we can't stop doing that. There's that. There's that. There's that. And then posting that to Instagram and being confused as to why it gets flat. Like, why does that happen? Right. I'm like, it's literally contemporary art.

Right, right, right. I am confused about what gets to be art and what is getting censored. Like, because I really do see a lot of people's full ass on Instagram. All the dude. I got a lot up there. I got a lot of full ass up there. But when it's the both of us, it's too powerful. Oh, I see.

Not disturbing things on Instagram, like Mark Zuckerberg with his earrings. Yeah. That's way more. Him with two hoops. He's a scene. It's absolutely vulgar. Yeah. Some of the cheese poles, I think, are pornographic.

Cheese pulls are pornographic. For sure. Why can a kid see that? Right. Why can a kid see the inside of the Monterella stick and then the white? No, so, yeah, because kids just get string cheese prior to a mozzarella stick.

Yeah, you peel it and... Wait, can I say something? You just did that and it didn't do something bad to me. Did something really good. I think I got a little bit horny thinking about what it looks like. You're a lot of the sky. Dachmaughey. Yeah.

What's that king called? Which one? Gloopy. Gloopy cheese king. Gunging. Gunging is when you have food all over yourself and splashing. Or the wet and messy category of better. Gunging?

G-U-N-G-E. Whoa. Everybody Googling, you're welcome. I didn't know about that. I've gone. We've talked about this. It's almost grown. When I did, I did a performance that was like a gun-sploshing performance earlier this summer. Yep.

That was during a hot dog eating contest where everybody had to eat one hot dog the best. And I won. How do you eat it the best? I absolutely went to town and fucked it and had to fuck me. Sure. Is it, oh, David Dukovny, you fucked the food. Yeah, absolutely. Fuck the food.

Did you use, was like the water thing, like the Kobayashi, like, No, it was, I had to eat one single hot dog and I like, I did like a cake sitting thing with the hot dog. Like cake farts? Yes. Oh my God. That's our favorite movie. Thank you. We love cake, quarts.

It's on New York television if you want to catch a rerun of it. Was this where the thing that Curtis Leawa was at? That was a different thing that involved a hot dog that I also won this summer. Can I ask about Curtis Sliwa being at the events? Yes. Why is this is going to haunt you for the rest of your life? Hawn me. Okay.

Yeah. I'm like, what, what, what was that like? By the way. Do you know what happened? I started doing a bit last year. You went in drag? No, not drag, but yeah. Absolutely. I mean, like, I was in Curtis Sliwa drag.

Yeah. Contest Slewa. That's what it's called when I'm dressed as him. It's like the best avatar character we have in SlaW. Contest SlaW. Claim work. SlaW. Cundas SlaW.

Kuntis Slewark. Basically, when the mayoral race was happening last year, I started doing a Curtis Slewa drag bit. Amazing. Where I reenact his 1992 assassination attempt when he was shot in the back of the back of, a taxi cab. You're queering history.

Absolutely. So it was like a New York track that I made. Like I make every audio track that I've ever done drag to I make myself. And it was like, welcome to New York, Taylor Swift. I love living in the city by fear on Broadway. New York, Addison Ray. Yeah. It's fabulous.

I love New York. I don't like cities, but I like New York. From Confessions One. Yes. And then it ends with it's up to you. New York, New York. So it's like crazy. Oh, and back in the New York group. So it's like taking you through that. So many good songs. And a taxi cab comes and chases me with a gun. And then I wrestle the gun for the taxi cab and kill it. Oh, no. Well, the taxi cab killed me in the original. But when I pitched it to the Times Square arts people, they were like, so we can't have a gun. And we can't have the gunshot noises in your track. And we can't have you die as Curtis Lewa because he's going to judge the competition. And I was like, I was like, I was like, Well, okay, so I changed it. I made it, instead of using a prop gun that I've been using,

I made a gun out of cardboard, and then I had it where I wrestled the gun from the taxi cabin, killed the taxi cabin like one. And where does the hot dog come in? I performed in front of a giant 65 foot long hot dog that at the end of it shot out tiny bits of confetti that were supposed to be the Epstein Files. Those are your angel numbers, hot dogs.

Okay. Well, what did you use instead of a gunshot noise? Looney too is like, pt-t-o-o-o-o-you. You can be funny about guns. guns, but you can't be real about guns. No, of course, because everyone was a little bit too scary. When I was thinking about it, you can go pew, pew, pure, you can't be like.

Right. It was also like, at the airport eating fajitas being like, why is everyone stressed about the smoke that everyone's seeing? Exactly, the sizzling fajitas, calling a bomb- Can I ask, like, ultimately what was there? He gave a standing ovation. He gave you a standing ovation. And he recused himself from judging.

He said, I can't judge this because I'm too close to it. And he also said the next time somebody wants to pull a gun on me, will you step in front of me, bike. It's like so you're so interesting. So you want me going down. Yeah and you know he's your neighbor. He's oh and wait here. Doesn't he record like eight hours a day at IHeart radio? Yeah. Is he an I heart girl? Yes. Curtis Lewa? Curtis Come on doing it. And bring that Cocker Spanieling with her too. Can you imagine if we

had him on the show? I would I can. I mean I better be better be back with a hot dog and the gun. That's something that you think is is a lost coach. Is it? Is It's on our future? I mean, he would do it. He would do anything. He would do anything. He had 17 cats at one point. Yeah.

Yeah. We're not going to have anyone left of Curtis on the show. But I think we will have every MAGA person and every. Anyone right of Curtis? Anyone right of Curtis? Anyone right of Curtis? Anyone right of Curtis we will have one. Just to like get them.

We got to get Tucker on here. Tucker on here. Yeah. Well, he loves gay guys. When we come back on. He's absolutely addicted to gay men. We need to do like a. What do you mean?

What does he say about them? Oh, he's just constantly. like you know these gay guys like what if what if they turn out gay he's just like very fascinated with things being gay people acting gay bow ties like he hated the green m&m getting flat shoes instead of high heels that was like yeah hugely it's that kind of thing where it's like I definitely don't want to eat chocolate cake you know what I mean it's like because it's brown like poop which comes from a butthole where I want to fuck a guy it's like if I were if I were in random conversation right just be like we're talking like this and it's like

And you know what sucks chocolate cake? It's like I hate chocolate. And it's like you want to eat it so bad. It's just so you're thinking of chocolate. It's Bruce Fogtrodder levels of needing to eat it. Thank you. Brucey. Brucey vibes.

Brucey. Well, Tucker Carlson's obviously gay because he's a man with a podcast. Yeah. Right. Look around. Exactly. It's good all the mics in front of our gay mouths. The only straight guy with the podcast, Curtis Lee Walsh.

Curtis Lick Lachlan. And Conal McLaughlin. Yeah. Both on this network. Kind of like potentially by curious. Asexual kid. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, certainly.

Do you know what he just gave us? And ice cream makers. So he's not. Okay, so he wants to be invited over really bad. Yes, of course he's invited. Yes. The apoliton night. He's craving it.

Oh my gosh. This goes into Spike's culture, though, but like we are not super lynch literate. And I feel like he's such a lynch muse. A lynch pin. A lynch pin. He's a lynch. Of course. Period.

Oh, it's audio medium. It's audio medium. Yeah. Well, no, not anymore. Look around. Look around. I mean, we are set is almost as gay as Tucker Carlson's. Yes.

No, definitely. Deffo. Literally. Well, Tucker Carlson's gay too because he is a caffeine addiction. Yeah. He's a gay man with a podcast, a caffeine addiction, and a history as a dancing with the stars contestant. Something I have to keep reminding everyone.

These are a list of people who have done dancing with the stars. Zendaya. Tucker Carlson Kim Kardashian I watched Dancing with the Stars for the very first time You loved it I honestly did

Here was the problem My problem was within watching Dancing with the Star Was watching it in Asthma In North Carolina With my two friends While I was on tour I had a broken foot

That part is not relevant To the story It's just more context I want to do that Yeah break your foot No no you're like You have a broken foot You're like I wish

You're watching the dancing people Of course no And I do let to dance And so I'm looking at the Stars When My friend is a dancer And I was accidentally greening out on what I believed was a synthetic marijuana. And so my friend was also like, hey, I didn't see with the stars episode I didn't realize is like watching Ben Hur.

It's like seven to nine hours long. It really is like a commitment. All ABC is like that. It's like a mini series within itself. It's like an entire March Madness Brackett happens in one episode. Yes. I mean there used to be two episodes a week. What do you mean?

Elimination. They don't do that. anymore. But it was a performance episode, which was likely still the same duration. And the next night there would be a results episode. Well, that's legitimately at that point, durational

performance art. Yeah. When you were able to... It's tantric television. It actually is becoming karma sutra. Yeah. It's like you're doing like Shabari breathing. Yeah. Well, that's the thing about it too is like, essentially it is like let's call the voting very American. Sure. You know what I mean?

It's like, oh, that person was not, is not there because they're the best dancer. They're like being voted for by people who are like, that's me up there. Yes. Well, also, I guess it's like, um, can I do this? Yes. Yeah. I just feel like we need to abolish the electoral

college. And reinstate call in. Just call in. Just pick up your phone. Well, we are the only two people left on earth who call. I'm on the phone as often as possible. Thank God for you. Thank God for you. We cold call. It's very normal to us to use the phone.

We call to them on the phone almost every day. Okay, each other, that's great. But then do you pick up any random number? Absolutely. Definitely. Because what if I'm going to win something? Hey, it could be Hollywood calling Bowen. Exactly. That's really how I feel. You're from there. You know how it works.

I know, and I usually know the area codes. You know the area code. But thank God for you guys. Yeah. You're keeping it alive because we're not. Anytime I've gotten any problem with anything in my life, the phone calling on the phone has fixed it. They're not expecting you to call and they'll do anything you say once you

that is true. I really do. that I, it's like, if, like, if, if, if, if the student loan number keeps calling you, call back. Yeah. Call back sob. Yeah. Academy Award of supporting actress levels. Yeah.

Of crying into your own mouth. Like, I really do believe that you can convince someone almost anything if you meet them voice to voice. No one's expecting that. Also, restaurants, um, if you look online and they say they're not taking reservations, call. They are. I agree. They are. But you know what's happening with a lot of restaurants now?

Don't have phone numbers. Yes. No, it's true. Have you noticed? I didn't realize that was, it was. That feels like a crime. They're like, or, it's not an idea of a business and you can't, I can't call you. It feels illegal.

Hey, ooh. Is this illegal? It feels illegal. It's time to ask the question. Yeah. Okay. And you guys are, and you guys have actually really. You've done an amazing job queering.

Queering the question. We appreciated this. Yeah. We appreciate this. Yeah. We'll start with you, Spike. Spike. What was the culture that made you say culture was for me? So my brother, honey, here and I were on a short hike next to a highway when we were pulling

tarot cards and realized his tarot cards that realized that we should do an astrological culture breakdown and each have a sun, moon, and rising. And you've done exactly that. Yeah, we have. And I'll because picking one is just crazy. I know. That's a little bit silly. Right. Of course. We're having plurality in our life in every. sense. So we were doing this. So my rising, I believe I said, was jackass. Amazing. My moon is David Lynch.

And my son is the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Beautiful. Which I was going to say best in show, but I realized the Rocky Horror Picture Show is more true to me. It's crazy you said that before the news today. Well, it's like I heard the news and it made me pivot because I was like, basically I wasn't saying because I was like I'm sure somebody has said that already and like it was it but it was so

formative to me yeah I was like I need to just like give it up for what actually like unlocked me it must be spoken on it must be spoken on okay with and let's get honey's three and then we'll do it like a big sort of socratic yeah I like this okay so my son is jackass yep my rising is sponge bob square pants and my moon is Kathy Griffin yes yeah gag okay so jack so let's start with the overlap jackass yeah Did you guys see Best and Last? Yes. Mixed reception, I guess, because people were like, it's a clip show,

but I think it's actually a beautiful sort of meditation on like middle age. Male Middle Age specifically. Wow, that's interesting. Is that the most recent one? Yeah. Like the Best and Last. No, I didn't see that one because I don't want it to end. It's quite emotional.

I big time wish that I hadn't seen it because now I live in that. You believe that they've reached finality either. They said that. They say it. A lot of people say that, though. I think they have to health-wise. Oh, yeah, they literally. It's like their neurologist told them they can't do it anyway.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And their proctologist and their, like, their PT, you know, gastroenterologist, everybody was like, please stop. Exactly. You're psychophagus. No, they're, they can't do it anymore. For your proctologist to be like a person in your life at all. Your rectum can't take this many objects.

For them to have a strong opinion about what you do is really, well, in this one. Your penilologist is like, you can't be mashing it like that. You have to leave your penis in touch. penis. Yes. Well, in this one,

they have someone controlling an Android giving a rectal exam to I think Stivo. Yeah, or something.

Or, no, or Chris Pontius or something. There was also some jumping the shark moments in this new one

that made me feel like, what were those? They were playing a lot of clips and like, yeah, the robot.

The robot. It's like, why do you guys have a sassy robot? This isn't Guardians of the fucking galaxy. Like, get me back to the time

when I could see the blood shot rim of your eyes because you had been doing exactly. I need blood. It was a, I mean, it really is. It's a queer awakening.

It's a trans awakening. Of course. It's a BDSM awakening. Yeah. It's a DIY awakening. Yeah. All you really need are your best friends and a camera. Yeah.

And ideas. And randomly, an extremely elevated knowledge of physics. Yeah. But they're literally like chemical engineers. Yes. And there's something about like the mystic aspect of like, death or just whatever. It's obviously death-defying, but like the, so the movie opens on the original first

conception of Jackass, which was Johnny and his friends fucking around. And he was like, I'm going to do a stunt when we're going to film or where I'm out in the canyon and I shoot myself with a gun. Yeah. And everyone's like, Johnny, stop that, stop that. I don't like this. I don't like this. Like the gun's not firing.

They're like, this is, this is, I can't handle this. I can't handle this. You might die. You might die. And he's like, no, I'm doing it. Shoots himself because he puts like, I don't know, like two books. vest or something. Like a vest, like some sort of padding.

It doesn't kill them, obviously. And then they like rush to the car and they're like, oh my God, I feel crazy. And that is like MTV wouldn't let them air that. But that's like the true beginning of Jackass. And you go, oh my God, this is like an incredible thing over decades. The proof of concept. No, but that is magic. Because it's, I mean, it's what you're saying.

Like allowing your life to accelerate based on risks that you take. It's like, I took a risk and I survive. So now I'm going to take another one. Yeah. And also. That's beautiful. It's ideology. Being like this pain that I'll experience is one that I engineered is not a,

it's like a luxury actually. Because like we're all going through life experiencing so much pain that we didn't choose. To be able to elect to experience pain is ecstatic. And doing that homo-a lotically with your best friend. They're so good. It's amazing. With your new out.

Yeah. Of course. I had never really thought about it as one of those things that was happening at that time that clearly affected the way I was experiencing, wrapping my head around my gayness. Because it did feel like, it felt like they were naked. They were completely new. Their homo eroticism was something that I felt that they were getting away with because they were straight.

And I remembered what that did to me at my age. It drove me a little nuts, but it did have me watching it. You know, and also I'm sure there was like synapsis firing. I'm positive. I was jacking off to Pontius. Jacking after jackass. So hot. Yeah.

And also, and exposed to so much culture, as they say. Legitimately. Like, I know John Waters because of jackass. I know the misfits because of jackass. Yeah. I mean, just like the scope of culture that exists within it, I feel really great. Like skate culture because of BAM or Gera. Even that's interesting because like he wouldn't be, because like they had a falling out.

But he was like, you can use the archive footage and like he like, they invited him to the premiere. He didn't go, but he was like, I wish it well. It's like, even that's like, oh, this is like, maybe. friendship sort of like, it's like, it's like, oh my God, this is what the movie is. It's like, it's like, it's a link later piece. Yeah, it's like, look at this. Slacker. Slacker.

You're watching people forever on your VHS. And it's like, how do I fill my time with like 75 cents and some bloodlust? Yeah. I'm going to push my friend down the stairs and shove a turn up his app. Up his ass. Johnny Knoxville is, well, they're all like pop culture icons, but not only is he like incredibly iconic because of that show, but sometimes he'll just turn performances and things where I'm like, oh, you're really talented actor.

It's so cool to me when someone has that talent, but they have like a full other expanse of things going on there. And that jackass is like his passion project and the real, the thing that he like will go down in history for despite the fact that it fully, that guy could have like walked into sitcoms as the neighbor all the time and said something. Like, he could have been Kramer. Yes. But instead, he generally mutilated.

Yeah. Instead of like jumping into the apartment, he was like evading a bull's horns. Yeah. It's also like what I think of too is like that is how you know what they were doing was art is like now we look back and it's like oh, well that happened to be art and not everyone when they're making art knows that they're doing it. But also just like proliferating your ability to create is like the mark of an artist. And now society wants you to be like,

Do your one thing, have it be 30 seconds, and then it scrolled away from. And this is like, I'm going to act. I'm going to get hit in the nuts. Like, I'm going to be dressed as a grandpa and, like, have my nuts do like a windmill at a strip club. Like, that's an artist to me. You know what I tie it to in my mind is like it happened at that moment in time as well. And you never would think like decades later we'd still be talking about it is fast and the furious. Like fast and the furious and jackass.

When that shit was popping off, you could never have. told me and I do think it is... These would be cultural institutions. It is the male friendship. It like, fast and furious is 100, which go hand in hand because all men are gay. Yeah. More on that later. Yeah.

And we welcome you if you're just... Stay with us. But fast and furious is the cure to the male loneliness epidemic. Sorry. Oh, my fly. No, definitely. Yeah, sorry, sorry. Like if you're lonely with your guys, you should just be like street racing a Maserati and like probably shave your head.

Do some down. If you're feeling male loneliness, it's beautiful. It's beautiful. And Vin Diesel's Instagram presence is one of the, I could cry, just thinking about it. He's a cancer, I know if you all believe in astrology. But truly he is moving with the ocean's pole.

Like that man is the moon. Well that's why we have always said that, so we are like, what is it called the try? The try? The trine. The treen. The treen. I am Pisces, Boa Scorpio, and Vin Diesel is cancer.

No, that is the try. That is the triumvir right here. Matt Bowen. We have the trion, the vortex of water. Every day he posts a black and white picture of himself with a caption that would bring you to your knees. Absolutely. He still,

I thought this was something that he was doing like in 2012, but he's still doing that. He's our Arnold Schwarzenegger and we need to actually start saying it out loud. Like the fact that like, like, like, you ever watch Triple X? Of course. Okay. When he, he gets like, he goes to some place where he's like doing, working with the people. And he goes into his room and there's just a,

woman, one of the hottest one you've ever seen. I think even I got erect for her. She's, like, writhing on a four-post bed. And then she, like, throws stuff on the bed and she puts her fucking hole in this guy. And he just, and he just goes, he looks at her, takes his shirt off, looks at her, and goes, I think I'm going to enjoy this. That's so good. And that's it.

And I'm like, I'm sorry, but it's I'll be back coded. Yeah. It's like, Vin Diesel. But we don't get sexuality like that anymore. No. We really don't. It's like, you know that they were. Because they're convinced we, I think they're convinced that we as audiences don't want to see sex.

I think it's the other way around. They've convinced us that we don't want to see sex. Oh, interesting. And they made us like also afraid to lock into it. We're not having that fear. No, they made us scared of sex. They made us scared of sex. I think it's also that they maybe expect or assume that we are getting in other places like porn and only fans.

We're not. We are, but I'm, I'm like, I think I'm, like, falling off of, like, porn a little bit. I'm like, I'm going to, you know what's, you know what Stephanie Schoen College said to me once? She was like, oh, you guys watch porn? I don't know. You guys watch porn being masturbate? I don't know. It's just nothing's better than your own imagination.

And I was like, oh, my that is. Rocky Horror. By the way, she's so great. Meanwhile, let's see her browser history because I'm going to. She was young. She was young. False flag, waving in the breeze. She's saying, yeah.

She's got the homepage. of tab, tab, tab, tab. I know she's crank into some websites. I just saw her in Rocky Horror, and that was not just imagination. I know pornography was watched. She was watched. She watched the XXX, X,X, Seinfeld parody. Wow, what is that like?

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Must be 19 years of age or older to play. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. Concerned about your gambling or that of someone close to you, visit connectsonterio.ca. On the new podcast Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinero, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility.

Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people, and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip, I hope you listen to Solita on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them.

I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything. Every week, I'm with survivors who lived through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted. stocked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them.

There's stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to the Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Hayes Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast Hollywood Handbook on the Big Money Players Network. Our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners. Each week we talk to someone in show business,

aka The Biz, and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time, and no one gets mad at their publicists for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, not that great.

Actually, can you help me shape this? How about we flip it on his head? How about we flip the script? What is the surprise woman? Actually, you think is the straight man is actually the one who's acting weird. Adam Scott This entire time

You've been expecting Adam Sandler to come to visit the show I would never Let go of that I have I would never set expectations For something like that to happen If the universe allows for something like that to happen I'm open to it

I'm always going to accept You know Danny McBride Fine Yeah it's all this fragile masculinity Exuding I could smell it walking down the hallway To be honest with you I was like, is that weed? Nope.

It's fragile masculinity. Ben Stiller, no. Because a lot of times out of context, people don't get it or even know what a circle is. You know what I mean? They're like, oh, it's so stupid. Everyone's so dumb. And fake. Right, fake and also not interested.

Or just like, oh, I've got my life. I don't care about your life. And a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Oh, and by the way, Will Ferrell told us personally, he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode, but he's just so busy. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, Rocky Horror. Talk about Rocky Horror. Rocky Horror Picture Show had me sneaking out the damn dog door when I was 14 years old to go see it.

Really? Yes, at the New Art Theater in Los Angeles. My house had the alarm where when you open the door went beep. Yeah, yeah, of course. The beep when you open the door on my house? Yeah. I had a house that beeped. Yeah, it's the beep. That's so jose. That doesn't happen anymore.

They don't beep. My house did not be. My house did not be. My house at night was just snores. It's like that's, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So then you, that was like. We had medium-sized dogs, so at the time I could fit through the dog door and I would go sneak out around the back of my house and, like, go take the bus down to the new art theater

in L.A. And catch the shadow cast of Rocky Horror. And like, oh, my God. I went for the first time with like a, L. or a middle school friend and their mom chaperoned us. And we got like, like, the V for Virgin, like written on my face. It was like, first time ever seeing people, like, cross-dress and, like, people throwing rice and, like,

all the stuff at the screen and shouting along. And it was, like, the sense of community. And it's one of those things that tells you you're gay before you know you're gay. And I was just getting, like, so mercilessly, people being like, you're gay. And I was like, no, I'm a wolf. Like, didn't know, like, what that could be. But it was, like, finding through there.

I was like, oh, I actually am like this and this reflection and never liked musicals before besides, like, I guess, Disney. just like realizing that that was like the place for freaks to go that I felt immediately like accepted and belonged and it's like a rock and good time. And the portal. Yeah, it's rock and roll. I mean, Eddie is actually my favorite part of the whole thing.

Really? Yes, when he comes out of the freezer and meatloaf. It's amazing. Whatever happened is Saturday night. Yes. But then your portal to that world was literally you as a dog. Yeah. Going through the dog door.

And becoming human under the cover of night. Under the floor. Wow. That was the first time I ever put on eyeliner was to go. Hot. And I was getting scared because it was like a girl

who was my friend and she was coming with a pencil and I was like oh my God but I want to do this so bad. So it was friends of yours that told you what it was? They were like come to this thing it's really late at night

like my mom will take us and after that I was just like I'm going by myself. It's like a rave that way. It's like you're getting put into the secret society that happens at midnight and you only know if you have the password

and then you get to be trans. It was also like all ages. So there was like, there were people who were like in their 50s there with like in like amazing like leather and like all these outfits. I was like, okay, so y'all are like hitting this up. And I'm 14 years old being like, whoa, like I'm having intergenerational hangout. Yeah. I would never. Where was I going to be?

Like at the bar with them later? Like no, I was going to be at Rocky Horror. Right. It gives so much permission. Yeah. Yeah. Give yourself over to absolute pleasure. Yeah.

That's what they say in the song. Okay. Kathy Griffin. Kathy Griffin. I was... Because you guys were talking about this on Strady Lab, you were like, she's back. Yeah.

I love her a lot. Yeah. It's like I was obsessed with my life on the D-List. I would watch it compulsively. And I'm just really... I was really influenced and moved almost like philosophically by someone being at the axis of as talented as she is,

but as desperate as she is. Wow. Like that's like I... That is so magical. where it's like all you want is what you have and you're so vulnerable and how hard it is for you every day. And she's like a true outsider where it's like you're at the A list function

being like ignored and you're not on the list but you're supposed to be and you're not being let in. And I just like think that she's in this like really self-aware house of mirrors. And her, I mean, she's also like a storyteller. Like that's like her stand up. And that's kind of more of what mine is too, where I'm like, if I can live an interesting and vulnerable enough life,

then I'll have the life that I want. That's amazing. But also the missing step there for you both is that you guys are good at metabolizing the life. Right. And she has a name adored she has about meeting Celine Dion or whatever. You know what I mean? It's like, sure, right. She is this like outside.

I wonder what her chart is like she must. She's Scorpio. Makes sense. I'm sure her other, I'm sure she has like planets in like, exile or whatever like scoring. And her with the Trump head? No, that's us. It's literally like why are you Shaneh O'Connor? Literally.

Like cutting up the Pope by. It was, it's just so, fight the real enemy. Yeah. Saddy Griffin also said fight the real enemy. Well, it's kind of funny that like the people that that really that have the most like arduous relationships with Trump and therefore like lost pretty much everything that they had as a result of that. power dynamic to be becoming what it unfortunately became were female comics

and rossie and kathy and like you i'm sure he's not kind about legions of other ones just to speak on those too we were just talking because rosy's now having her moment again loving like but the fact that he could only think and seek to destroy these women who literally their job is to call out exactly what he is and everything about him and he just could not have that. And that's like one of the great losses of our culture, I think. Yeah, it also like corresponds to like her

arc of being like talented enough and good enough and better than a lot of what we're like told is the best and is A-list, but getting knocked down because she has a commitment to the truth that supersedes the ability to lie to get success, which I think... Yes. Yes. You're kind of rocking in a way.

It's really, it's one of the most fascinating things I think you, lines, I think you see people walk now. Yeah. And it also is like, yeah, I feel like now in order to be as famous as you would be to be like a Kathy Griffin, it's like you aren't allowed to like call something you see in the red carpet ugly. It's like everyone has to be in this kind of like banality where you're constantly like curtying to everybody else because you're in this like you're in anxiety that you will get taken down by speaking about who you are. But she was like, you're ugly. I'm going to walk around by like Alley Mansion with no eyebrows. Yeah.

So like Dave O'Hell can call me a horror. You know what I mean? It's like, yeah, no, legitimately. So I just was like, because I, yeah, I loved her. You know, I once had an astrologer tell me that I seek validation from the same systems I want to destroy. And that feels like Kathy. That's, that is also like she was really kind of a pioneer. And this is also why she's the daughter of Joan Rivers, I feel, because she was making the entertainment industry and the, um,

endeavor to ride the waves in it her art. That literally was her art. Like it is, it's performance art. Pop is art culture and me. Why do you say it's kind of gaga. It's like my, it's Warholian in a way. It's sort of like I'm going to assess the situation here and it is going to become my painting.

Like, and this is what I see. And then when that became untenable because it all got too tired up in like, you know, money and systems of power, et cetera, there wasn't anywhere for her to go. Because the truth would get her canceled. Totally. It needs to be like new dream, Rocky Horror Shadowcasts, like Kathy Griffin, Magenta.

Lady Gaga Riffraff. Lady Gaga Frankenverter. Well, I was going to say Johnny Knoxville Frankenferner. Oh, hot. Honestly, I would love to see the take on it. Yeah, exactly. For real, actually. I don't like Wayne Brady, Frankenferter.

Wayne Brady Brad. Wade Bradie Brad. Oh, yeah. James Cheers is about to start. I will say Luke Evans fucking killed. He was amazing. Killed it. I had no idea he had all that.

Because I didn't realize, I didn't see Beauty and the Beast. I mean, he was, everything about Beauty and the Beast was perfectly fine. Right. That was like before Disney started abusing the remake of it all and actually was like kind of okay. He was in it and like, he gave like a spirited take on Gaston, but I wasn't like, wow, he's amazing. You see him in this as Frank? Wild. A huge, you know eggs.

No eggs. No eggs in that gas. You get no eggs for me. No eggs in your basket. Zero. Okay. Now, David Lynch. Like, portal to another world. It's also like all these things that I'm saying that our culture for me were also like stuff that saved me.

Yeah. Like, Jackass definitely saved me. Like, Rocky Horror Picture Show definitely saved me. Because I feel like I would have just like been absorbed in the fact that I really didn't fit in, like, in L.A. being as like wolf space alien as I was. You were scared in wolf space. I was, I was, medically random. Yeah, meeping around, being random.

Oh my God. I was biting kids. It was not good. You guys are biters. I bite biting boys. I bite less now, but I bite. Yeah, no, I'm still biting. My sister got mad at me the other day for biting.

Anyway. You bit her? What did she do? On the arm? On the arm, she really, and I'm not going to do it again. On record, I'm not going to do it again. Okay, no problem. We will bite her.

Binding. No, yeah. No. I hurt contract. She's going to be so happy that I said I would never bite her. her again because I was basically threatening that I was. It's okay. Was she legitimately upset or was it?

I don't think bite. I think biting feels good for me and not for others. So when Matt would bite me, I'd be like, stop. He was biting you. He was biting me on the arm. It's only over the arm. It's only over the arm now for me, yes. Used to be.

Others. Yeah. I would leave a mark though. I've tasted blood. That's interesting. And I want more. Exactly. Matt would bite me and then I would be like, Matt, stop.

And then now I'm like, oh. You miss it. And I said that time I said, it's a line from destiny fulfilled the album. You're going to miss me when I'm gone. When my teeth marks fade away. When my teeth marks fade away. What I said to him all the time, one day I'll be dead.

So let me bite. Let me bite while I'm alive. I love to be. Lightly morning today. I think that guilt is a really powerful way to get what we want. Also, it was like a self-identifying. So like using Jewish guilt to let my friends bite. Here we go.

It might work. It might work. I won't be alive. I just got a bite. the room, you walk away. You can let me have a little nipple or I'll just, no, I'll be just feel for here. I don't need it. So I, I was like, Matt, don't do that.

And then he goes, and then he hits me and goes, I am the biteer. Biders and charge. I'm seriously writing notes for what to do next time. Someone doesn't let me bite. You have to tell people what you have to. I'm the biter. Hannah will just have to accept you for who you are. I know.

A bider. Say and say that again. Yeah. Is there a lot of biting in David Lynch? I feel like, yeah. There, well, okay. metaphorically. David has a lot of teeth gnashing.

Yeah, yeah. It's all like crazy men. But I, that was, what catalyst said that for me was, was that, like, I had a really influential person in my life who was the, like, teachers, apprentice of a stand-up comedy class that I took when I was 15 that met at the improv in Los Angeles during the day where no one was there. And I, like, wrote jokes there. We had, like, a showcase.

It was awesome. I was like, okay, so I'm going to be stand-up forever, don't need to go to college. That's not true. and basically he was the teacher's assistant and we formed a relationship outside of the class he taught me how to shoplift

like it was very like we shoplifted we shoplifted together from Best Buy and then watch it it's shoplifting oh my god it's so hard now I try to steal ice cream oh sorry I really it wasn't even an ice cream bar

like from Mr. Softie you just like started running it was melting it was there it was a bodega I think we were like 22 right yeah and the guy caught me. Best Buy is the right place to shoplift. And he was doing it so cool. Shoplift, big.

He was like, he was like opening the DVD and like talking to me as he like stole the DVD of it. And then we watched Fight Club and I was like, whoa, I'm, I was like, I'm definitely male. And then basically we like form this relationship where we would watch movies. And he was like older than me. So we were like exchanging a lot of culture. And I rented from Sinophile in Los Angeles very close to the New Art Theater where I would see. It's also just me being like, I'm from L.A. Yeah, yeah.

Also, all these places don't exist. Or maybe some of them do. Like, I rented Wild at Heart, Mulholl and Drive, Eraserhead, and I think... Lost Highway? Blue Velvet. And my favorite one. Yeah. And I rented them all and we were going to, like, movie marathon it together.

That's a huge marathon. I went to his house because he wasn't picking up his phone. And I left it around his car. And basically, he never got back to me because he had overdosed and died. And I ended up moving marathoning it with my... friend from high school who had like we were planning to hang out the next day and when I found out and I just like locked in and like sublimated my grief through the films and it felt like I like shifted into another world and I also became like completely unrelated to the other people my age

because like no one had marathon for David Lynch movies in that year of school I guess while like metabolizing insane grief insane grief someone who like encouraged me to do stand up who I like still am like thanking him for like not giving up on me in that sense and being like like you have a unique perspective and all these things. When I was in a back brace, like couldn't be more untouchable as like a person who went to high school in L.A. like in a back brace, my hair doesn't do the side banks correctly because it's curly.

Like, you know, whatever. And just finding amazing. No, to you, yes. Absolutely. To them, no. Like, finding David Lynch movies that like, it was just like seeing how that world was. And it's the only way that I've seen L.A.

accurately reflected in film. Interesting. Like, it really is. I was like, oh, that's my city. when it's like weird writing on the wall. It wasn't clueless for you? It wasn't clueless for me. So accurate that movie.

It wasn't going to be the like robot closet in clueless. That was cool, but that wasn't my true. I had a house that beeped, but a closet didn't rotate. My closet didn't move on my house did beep. So out the dog door I went. Yeah. It's like it was just something like and also just seeing like the strangeness that I felt in having experienced like a loss that big and just seeing these stories.

is these people like in blue velvet like watching from the perspective of him like hiding in the closet while like the frank like horrible assault scene happens and like watching lost lost highway later and being like oh my god like there's a portal in this person's head and another person enters and like going to a party and a scary stranger calling you on the phone while he's still in front of you it was like oh my god that's yeah that scene so i so ever since sarah sherbin came on this podcast in school that's the day david lindex died yes oh january 20th which i was right after that canceled our tour on. Entire tour.

Because the fires had started to LA. And Trump was re-inoguated. And I was like, hey, so I can't leave my bed on. I don't think I can go on. Tough day.

Yeah. Stage your life. Yeah. I've like lightly like I've microdust on Lynch. And like, the final boss is like is Twin Peaks. Yeah.

I was going to ask you about Twin Peaks just when, when you think about mourning because you have a very strong relationship with him obviously as a figure in your life and you lost him and then you're engaging with Twin Peaks

which is about that. What's your relationship with that? With Twin Peaks in general? I mean that was also like one of the most it was also like a way that I always feel like because I never felt like a girl like really clear examples of like

womanhood and girlhood are really attractive to me to like absorb. Right. And like Laura Palmer as this like I idolized in death but with like a dark secret like perfect girl on the outside but like deeply troubled. thing. I was always like, oh my God, and like consuming that felt very like close to like the beginning of like a diva worship thing.

Totally. Yeah. And like just being also like the way that it was in this non-time place of like it's the 80s but it's the 50s and it's like talking into a tape recorder and like then the owl is sending him a message. Like me and honey are both very like steeped in signs and like things talking to us and like so is Daniel numbers hot dogs. Angel numbers and hot dogs. It's also like we I do tarot in like travel. from the ground and like seeing a lot of cards that like you will help me interpret. Amazing. But like David Lynch also occupies that space of like making the world like and a dream or something you see out of the corner of your eye that you that flashes by you. It's like he's focused on that and like drawing you through the portal of that whole person's life. The ordinary is the mystic. Yeah. That's like that's the whole. The bum behind the winkies in Mulholland Drive is like one of them like that's me. That's also like weird.

guy worship. Yeah. It's like you can be kind of peculiar looking and you can be curious, but you also exist in immense beauty because you're part of this creator fantasy and this creator narrative about how like things are like really ugly and things are like really frightening. But they also are like fog machine opera music. Yeah. And you can't look away because it's like you're, it's not only because you're so

horrified, it's because you like need to follow whatever's calling. Yeah. Right. Like looking into the radiator and hearing the lady sing Or like watching the performance in Mulholl and Drive When they're like when they're like this in the theater Wearing the same wig and seeing her stop singing and drop to the ground As she's covering Roy Orbison like the way he did music

I was like yeah That's why I'm proud of me from LA My first Lynch was Eraserhead and I love that that's my second I probably in my top favorite David Lynch movies Also because I watched it when I was out of young formidable age And I was like this doesn't make sense And I don't want it to because it made me feel something.

Yes. It's like I don't need, it's like art doesn't need to be this like hyper narrative thing. No. It's like we can be confused and simultaneously be feeling. I don't have to understand. I literally don't. It's interesting that people seem to need that more and more. Definitely.

And it's because we're losing motor skills and motor functioning. Totally. Because children now no longer even know how to do this on a radio. No, they don't. And you know what also doing this on a radio is, is when you're switching in between the dials, it's like there's space in the static that you can hear words and voices come out. And like that's like where a whole movie can be born from for him. And like those universe creates. Yeah. Of course. Yeah. It's like the channel shifting. The channel shifting. I, my mom would watch these she was she like bought from a yard sale one time like these English language like tutorial like tapes with like VHS is for like. ESL people and it would pop them in it would be it would have this like really weird lynching quality before I like identified that with him I was like oh like I associate him with like like making films that take place in this like suspended time a temporal thing of like these people

are having like fake conversations like the picture of Hillary Clinton when she's in the kitchen when she walks and like yeah it's like that's what being like you know like this yeah yeah Seeing reality. Yeah. It's like you appeared somewhere you aren't meant to be. And now you're forced to reckon with it. You know it's a kitchen, but that's all you know. And therefore it's like, why am I so scared of this kitchen?

Right. It's the scariest kitchen I could ever think of. That's all I know about it is that it's a kitchen and I'm scared in the doorway. She's in a pantsuit and she's scared. Also, like the way David Lynch is, all of his stuff is focused around women. Like, everything. And he loves gay and trans. He likes her heart and dies.

Also, like, I do. David DeCovny. Exactly. I do, I do love his. muses too. I think he's always been really ahead of the curve in choosing an actress from, obviously Laura Dern is not exactly plucked from obscurity because her mother and father are famous, but like the Naomi Watts of it all is a crazy poll. You know what I mean? Because he probably could have gotten a lot of people for the lead role of Madelma Hall and Drive. And he says, no, I need

someone who I can allow the audience to project onto because you can't know her. and I'm just going crazy right now. I'm thinking about what you're saying because it's also like, even what you're saying is mirrored in the film when she does that audition. It's crazy. With the scary guy and then she like takes it

and turns it and controls it. Oh, man. When they make out, I'm like, fuck. And she's like fully in command of it and you see his like surprise as he's being his kiss. And by the way, he looks like a baseball glove scariest guy I've ever seen.

Very scary guy. How did he find 20 of the scariest guys ever ever and put them in every movie? Pre- Craigslist. Like you were done. I know. Yeah. Oh my god, it was so crazy.

2001, I think Craigslist was maybe starting to pop off. So that's how. I miss Craigslist. I miss Craigslist. I miss Craigslist. He found all. We were just talking about that. I miss Craigslist trade.

Definitely. Pre-grinder, I was meeting old men in Denver. We're having a little David Lynch experience. Having some David. I don't be a bit too early. Definitely too early. Making out with baseball gloves. The new Red Bull, Dragon Barry, and Tropic Berry

energizers now at McDonald's made with freeze-dried fruit and an electric burst of flavor the all-new red bull energizers now at McDonald's this product may not be right for you high in caffeine details of macdonalds at participating canadian restaurants excluding quebec hey this is hayes davenport and sean clements we host the podcast hollywood handbook on the big money players network our show is extremely accessible to first-time listeners each week we talk to someone in show business aka the biz and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicist for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, not that great.

Actually, can you help me shape this? How about we flip it on his head, right? How about we flip this script? What is the surprise woman who actually you think is the straight man is actually the one who's acting weird? Adam Scott, ugh. This entire time, you've, been expecting Adam Sandler to come to visit the show. I would never let go of that. I have. I would never

set expectations for something like that to happen. If the universe allows for something like that to happen, I'm open to it. I'm always going to accept. You know, Danny McBride, fine. Yeah. It's all this fragile masculinity exuding. I could smell it walking on the hallway, to be honest with you. I was like, I was like, is that weed? Nope. It's fragile.

masculinity. Ben Stiller, no. Because a lot of times, out of context, people don't get it or even know what a circle is. You know what I mean? They're like, oh, what's the state? Everyone's so dumb. And fake. Right, fake and also not interested or just like, oh, I've got my life.

I don't care about your life. And a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Oh, and by the way, Will Ferrell told us personally he loves the show and he wants to be a guest on every episode, but he's just so busy. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything.

Every week I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them. There's stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to the Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman.

I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinero, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people, and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're alone that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself.

So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first. trip. I hope you listen to Solita on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay. Honey, Spongebob. Okay, so SpongeBob is really culturally influential to me because he, he, I think Spongebob SquarePants was my Simpsons. Yeah. Yeah. Where it's like, this is actually my family. That's actually really important because I always felt so alienated by the Simpsons. I love this. I, when I hear the theme, I, when I hear the theme, song to the Simpsons, I start feeling fear and want to go away. I want to run from the noise.

With the Simpsons, I felt like it was an inside joke I wasn't in, but it was Spunned by, I was like, no, this is my Cho Cho Cho Fam. Like, this is my chosen family. Cho Cho Cho fan. It really, Cho Cho Fan might be a title of too. My child doesn't have an alcoholic father. Who's Cho Cho Sam? Wait, it was up and, and that Weezer song.

I'm a la, oh, oh, no, no, oh, and, and start listening to Cho Cho Sam. All in love all over again. Exactly. And I'll scorchow. Anyway, sorry. Yeah. No, like, this is my chosen family.

Genuinely, where it's like your best friend's a star and your dog is a snail and then your neighbor who hates you. But like, it's kind of like, well, they won't they is right. It's like, it's square. And I, and I just, yeah, you said Jewish? Yeah, Squidward's Jewish. I do not think Squidward is Jewish. You don't think Squidward's Jewish?

No, I don't think Squidward has enough Joad of Yves to be Jewish. Oh, yeah. I think there's some who are, like, you're like. like that. You know what's so... To me, like Squidward is way, is not... I don't know, there's something like... Squirtwood was like evangelist.

Maybe Squidward was his parents were Jews for Jesus and he rejects everything that they've ever talked about. I think that that might be true because the thing about Squidward is he's unbelievably repressed. Because when you see him in private, he's so fun. It's so actually obvious to me what he was. He was raised by really controlling Jehovah's Witness who wouldn't let him have a birthday. Yes, that's right. Continue, continue.

Exactly. I redact. I redact and recant that Squidward was Jewish. What's so funny is to like, you're mentioning Kathy Griffin, one of these figures that looms large in the same way as Margaret Cho. And she one time had a bit about SpongeBob about like people projecting a sexuality onto SpongeBob

because there was that period where right-wing conservative media was like, like Fox News was saying pretty much weekly that SpongeBob was gay and to not have your kid watch SpongeBob because he's gay. And then I'll just never forget like, the Margaret show was just like, SpongeBob is a sponge. And then she goes clearly bisexual. Or something like that.

Obviously. But there was, there is a world you can project onto them because they are so, the thing about them is like joining the SpongeBob characters and process is like, I'm doing this incredibly specific thing.

And we're just blasting it out episodically as if it's. So many inside jokes. There's so much world. building, but it just, there was just something about the, he's like adventurous and he's really funny. Like, he really is like funny. Like there's jokes.

It's like the characters are so defined and so unique and so themselves. And it just, I just was addicted. And I think that I'm grateful for the culture. It's brought me into my adulthood because it is truly like imagination. Well, yeah. I think it's important to point out the art style of Spuner. and the animation style is sponge bob. Let's compare it to The Simpsons where the Simpsons is like,

it's so goddamn much. I'm sorry. No, see, and actually what I want to say is I would watch The Simpsons every day, and I was just privately, and at school we like put the Simpsons. You're like, I hate that they forced me to do this. I, but I loved The Simpsons and then it was alienating in college when like the comedy boys would just quote off to each other. And I was like, oh, you're making me like, they knew it more.

Also, you make me dislike this thing that I used to love. No. My introduction. I love you guys if you're listening, but like it just, I'm on this product. They made it a boys club. They made it a boys club. It's also like SpongeBob is for everyone. Sponub is a days club.

It's a days club. Yes. But the arts show, like, okay, so Simpsons, it's so clean lines, academic. It's like it has to be like sort of.

It's Harvard. It's Harvard. It's Hellenic. It's like, you know, golden ratio. And the cool stuff that he did before the Life and Hell series. Did you ever read those comics?

Yes, yes. That shit was amazing. And they just, everything that made that cool is gone from the Simpsons. Which it still works. I mean, I think Simpsons fans are saying, like, the recent seasons have been, like, incredible. I need to get back on it. But SpongeBob, like, just any screenshot of it is a meme, right?

Yes. And, like, because of the way it's, like, a little janky, sprayed, painted. And then, like, you zoom in, and it's, like, giant white hat, unibrow. It's, like, yeah. It's a Stimpy style. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, there is, there's gross out. And it also, like, parts of it are scary.

Yeah. And strange. Oh, my God. Like, I'm really grateful. screaming their head, like, chocolate! Yeah, exactly. It is the stoner show. I love that, of course.

It is, especially when you watch it as an actual stoner adult, you're like, oh, this is why my dad liked it. No, totally. Like, you know what I mean? I'm kind of like, because he was chewing on peanuts stoned as hell. I think there may have been a, how did you see the chewing of peanuts? No. Because that's what my dad was doing too. He was chewing on peanuts.

He was chewing on peanuts. He's chewing on peanuts. Dad's dessert. His peanut is. Peanut is. You really would think and you want to know why they really are good. I love licking the shells Yeah, I look the shells. I feel like a dog. I miss that part of my life. Oh, right. Well, SpongeBob Spongeb. Spongeb. I became allergic to nuts three years ago. No, totally. Three years ago. Yeah, I know my whole

life having nut now no nut. Can I? Yeah. Is there's there there's some correlation. It's like the way that like everyone's ADHD. You know, it's like everyone's nut allergy. But I didn't ever want this and I think some people I know, but it's because of RIG. It's 5G. Contact your senators. Because the government built the 5G towers. The hedron colliders have stopped. It's 5G, it's the vaccines. It's what they spray the air with.

You decide if I mean it. It's boson. Hey, do you think I mean it? You decide. It's not but I don't think so honey. We have to go, I don't think so honey. This is our 60 second segment that we do to get shit off our chest and out there into the discourse. Thank God.

I have something. It was a result of. of me. Well, I'll just get into it. And let me cook. Okay, this is Matt Rogers. I don't think so when he's time starts now. I don't think so honey pizza places won't deliver slices.

Oh. None of them do. And this might be another check in the column for call. Because I'm sure if I call and I say, hey, can you cut up three slices and put it in a box? Yeah, three. So what? Three. Three is not too many.

I hear you. I don't think so honey. It's too many. but say I'm like stoned in the evening, which I want to do, and I go on the website, postmates.com, and there's no options for slices. If I were to go in there, there'd be an option for slices. And there's no way for me to edit or change it.

America's failing. How can this be America if they don't deliver slices? That's my whole thing now. 15 seconds. And so I will, and also I know what you're saying too. Just go out and walk. No, that doesn't. doesn't work for me as high as I am and how dangerous the streets can be.

Five seconds. I use this rest of this time to be nimbly. I just am so scared of the streets lately. Ever since that Zoran became the mayor, I don't know if I can get my pizza. Deliver me slices. And that's one minute. You're right. I mean, when I reacted at three.

I don't agree. Wait, no, when I reacted. Because what can you have leftover pizza? What do you mean? Just get a small. Hard to store. That's five slices. I'm sorry.

Maybe you didn't hear me. I'm high on marijuana. I will eat the whole thing. Oh, I see what you're saying. And I did. It's a boundary exercise. Got it. I did do it.

You're valid. Matt's not saying deliver me one. He's saying three. I think that that is okay. Some of these slices, have you seen some of these slices? I will deliver you a slice because I want to get my steps in.

Listen, okay. Okay, so this is another reason why I said I would get their number. The locations will be turned on so that you can get slices. See, this is what I'm saying. I knew I would get what I wanted. I know where you live. Oh my God.

See, I think they do. And how much of the slices is $14 each? I think Matt wants the normal slice price. I want three incredible slices. And then guess what? I can't have the leftovers if I don't finish all three because I can admit that that is a lot. And sometimes the eyes are bigger than the stomach. Something's so wrong with me because I just said, I was like, well, you can plant them.

Like there were some flowers. No, something's going wrong. If I could plant pizza, I would have figured out. I was like, you can just put it in the ground. Like it would be like fertilizer. Right, right, right. Yeah. There's a children's book in there.

Yeah. Julio? Wait. Julio. Only you. Okay. I've got a similar-ish one. Okay.

It's just a minor gripe I have. But it's actually, it actually says something expository. It says something expository. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My favorite. All right, this is Bowen Yang's. I don't think so honey is time starts now. I don't think so honey, where are the seats in the coffee shops of America?

Specifically, New York City. Seats are crucial social infrastructure. Anytime they put, you know, know we all know like oh they if they put on those little armrest things it's like an anti unhounds measure but like which is fucked but why are we taking the chairs out of the fucking coffee shops now blank street i challenge you if you're gonna have a proliferate throughout our fair city 30 seconds have one stool yeah starbucks doesn't count that's an airport yeah what am i supposed to do when i go into a coffee shop now lean on the arabica shelf uh

lean on the fixings. 15 seconds. Lean on the trash can. I'm a busy guy. I have a lot of scrolling to do on my phone. I need a place to sit down and do this. And I think there's a correlation between the chairs being removed from coffee shops and the spike in third space discourse. Yes.

That's one minute. I think we've lost something just by removing one little synectical piece of this puzzle. Now we're all like, where are the third spaces or where they? They were coffee shops all along. You know what? They used to have couches. Friends. Beanback chairs.

They had, you could live there if you played your cards, right? Literally. Go to the coffee shop, open the laptop, shower at the YMCA, I live at the coffee shop. It's like they're making it so that can't occur anymore. Coffee shops now are either so sterile as I grew at the dentist.

Yeah. Or it's the other side where it's like adult board game night. Yeah, I can't do that. Why can't I have the middle? But I want more adult board game night. But the chess set doesn't have all the pieces. Right, right. And thank you for pointing that out because the thing is, if you're going to have games, I'm excited.

And then when I go to the game and I can't play it formally, I'm incredibly disappointed. It's Portuguese, apple to apples. It's like, I like to Portuguese. It's like, well, I guess this corn muffin is going to be the queen in this chest set because they don't have that one anymore. Because someone like me probably thought the queen was speaking to them and had to pocket it that day. So they're also valid. I think two, you need a. the voices from the chess pieces.

Oh, I'm hearing the voices. From everywhere. Also, the thing is with the seats, it's kind of like, it's not that they have none. It's just that they have somewhere between not enough. And if they never, it's always like three or four seats, not enough. I just think, I just think it's like tearing, it's like ruining the cities of the world. Like it's like how Times Square used to be like a really important place. For porn theaters and gay people.

Well, because it's where classes would intermingle. Oh, yes. And you don't have that in New York. anymore. No, it's true. It's like you need chairs in these coffee shops because it's like people just need to like hang out with each other for like 20 minutes. Well, that really is like the world functions the best when our subways function the best

because it's like public infrastructure and public transit is everyone coming together. We're all on the queue. Like we're all on the train together. And then we learn we don't have to be in this like anxiety with each other because we all just want Java. It's like you know, it's like a squirrel. We have something in common actually. It's kind of like that. It's like when squirrels,

runs with the sponge with a starfish. Legitimately. And a squid. With a crab. Legious. Yeah. It was incredible. The community.

And that was Cho Cho Fam. That was Cho FAM. That was Cho FAM. That's real culture number 16. SpongeBob was Cho FAM. Think about that. Okay. Let's have Spike go first.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? My community. Wow. Okay. Honey, you want to go first? Okay. I also want to say that Cho Cho Fam is a, That is a phrase given to me by my really good friend Heather Jewett.

It's one, it's, it's, it's, it's, so I need to speak to Heather Jewett. Thank you for that in my lexicon. Because if she were to watch this and say you took. Cho Cho-cho fam. She would have a beautiful word. She has a great podcast. She's an amazing podcast. Called?

Called Planet Heather. Planet Heather. Great. Okay. Okay. This is Honey Puttons on. I think so many, his time starts now. I don't think so, honey, not believing in God.

Mm-hmm. Got it. So you don't need to join the Graceboro Baptist Church. Mm-hmm. But I, I really. Graceboro. Graceboro. Westboro.

Westboro. You don't have to join the Westboro Baptist Church. But I do believe that given the kind of ecological ruin decay, the civilizational horrors that we're all in, get down on your knees with your hands like this against your bed and press your thumbs against your third eye and pray. And you're not praying for yourself to get a promotion. you're not praying for a text back. You're using that time to think about other people besides yourself

and how we can literally help them because I do believe that having a connection to Tyler to God, however you want to define that, reminds you that you're not alone. Therefore, we're not alone. And alienation is how they separate and divine us. And that's one minute. I love that.

That's, Dolly had that. I was going to say Dolly would want us to. pray. Yes. Yeah. She really was praying and she loves gay. It's rule of culture number two. Dolly would want us to pray. Thank you. And Dolly talking, Dolly commuting with whatever turned into her giving books to kids. You know what I mean? It's like it's like it's that. I think it's so useful to just remind yourself of exactly that. Like let me like isolate some time where I actually just manifest good things for other people. Definitely. Yeah. Different for meditation, different from like mindfulness stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Different. I feel mindfulness can be really like navel gazing and isolating. I think that when you pray for other people, you connect with them even when you're not physically and it's like so much more unlocking. Mindfulness is self-optimization, peptide, creatine.

And praying is like literally standing up in like ecstasy because you know that you deserve to live. Splitting one pressed pill amongst like seven people. Precisely. You can only be mindfulness for yourself, but like you can pray about someone and know someone's praying for you in return. Exactly.

This is why I don't love the band Creed, but I don't play about the song with Arms White Oak. Oh, exactly. When that comes on, everything else stops. Under the sunlight. There's a reason why Charlene does a number

too high. Absolutely. Yeah. Because she controls the weather. She controls the weather. It's extremely powerful witch. Yes. In a normal way, shut up.

In a normal way. So Scott Stapp kind of like Jackass Johnny Knoxville. Daddy is called Pony where I'm like, I'm coming thinking of. you, King. You're like, look at this photograph. And of course, the comparable performance. Look at this photograph.

Scott has a darkness though. Nickel back down. I know. Scott has a darkness though. Oh, for sure. Don't look it up. Don't look it up. So, so, so can I say something?

Scott Stapp might have darkness. So have some of the most incredible. So did Nietzsche. Men who I've had sex with in my life. I never want to see them again. No. Sexually incredibly memorable. Everybody needs, there needs to be a two size coin.

You can't just be like... Yeah, of course. That's why there's blossom bubbles and buttercup, okay? Tim Curry, Dali Parton. Yes, exactly. Hayden. Okay. Okay, I got it.

This is Spike Iron Bidner's. I don't think so when he has time starts now. I don't think so, honey, when I say that my dog is blind and you go, aw. I said he's blind, not dead. He's right in front of you as happy as can be. He just can't see. If a blind person said that they were blind, would you go on?

Why do you say to my blind dog? By the way, my blind dog sleeps in a queen-sized bed. My blind dog has custom green clothes. My blind dog may have only one eye and no teeth, but you know what else he has? A name given for him by God,

which is Spider-Man. I did not choose that name. But I chose him to welcome into my life, knowing that he would one day go blind and still continue to have an amazing life. Knowing. Also, he's blind, not deaf. He can hear you say, ah.

And he doesn't like that. He doesn't like that. Okay? 15 seconds. senses are sharp and he's tuned into the world that his sight no longer requires to be participating in. And you know what? Love can't see. Love can only feel.

And him being blind is actually completely chill. Wow. And that's one minute. So first of all, incredible. I do have a question. Do you believe that your dog, Spider-Man, has incredibly heightened senses because of not only being a dog, but also the loss of one major sense? and being named Spider-Man.

His name is Spider-Man. He's really old, so I don't think he could hear that good, too. But they don't need to know that. They don't need to know that. But what he does have the sense of is that we are like, he is my, like, medicinal. Yeah. Our symbiosis is very, like,

it's also, like, people, when they see a dog like that, they're forced to reckon with the fact that something is beautiful that doesn't actually appear to be beautiful to many other people. It's like, when you find yourself endeared in liking my dog, you're interacting with nuance and like, yes, exactly. I have a lynchian dog named Spider-Man. You really, this is going to sound so disgusting, but like, meeting your dogs. You're talking to the right guy.

Right. Well, meeting your dogs really expanded, like, my sense of, like, I don't know, like beauty in all living things, which sounds. No, that's what every sexual partner I've ever had. No. But Spider-Man, I was. Like Spider-Man, like, I just remember meeting Spider-Man and being like, oh, my God, I don't think I said, oh, maybe I did. But I'm just like, you don't need a cockapoo named Bailey.

No. Oh, my God. You don't need a cockapoo named Bailey. Just the way that I've met so many exact skin. Exactly. You don't need a copy. As someone who is, was of the experience of having a dog named Bailey. And so, and my fiancé as well.

Yeah. But not a cockapoo. And there are too many of them. Absolutely. The cockoo. Bailey as a name, it's taken over. Because now we now of course we love Baylain instead. No.

Balin out loud. The cockpoo named Bailey that I'm thinking of was like my friend's dog walking client who when people would ask her on the street what kind of dog she was, she would say poodle mix because she wanted to gate keep having a cock poo. It's like yeah Bailey, don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do all that. And I never change my dog's names

because they come to me from God. Right, right, right, right. Beautiful. This honestly kind of reminds me when I tell people that I'm a stand-up comedian. I don't know if this still happens Yarrper does. But I think it's, I think it happens in the queer spaces

we hang out with them. I'm like, I'm a stand-a-com comedian and they really do go so you think you're funny. Yeah. And I'm like, obviously, that's why I keep doing it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. There's evidence. It's the first test though, like being able to withstand that question. Right.

And the feelings that, what's coming towards you which is offensive and also the way you start to spin out and attack yourself is one of the first tests. Oh, so you think you're funny.

Right. It's like, yep. Yeah. actually yeah it's impossible it's funny in that moment in responding but like but it's like why are you acting like a head

mistress why am I now what why I think one of the most powerful things to be as a comedian is like serious sometimes yeah and just hitting it back with a yep is like that

you know they're at their knees they're saying my liege what do you ask of me you actually unlocked the thing that gets you their next item on the quest so you can keep going in the video game like it's like that it's why you love Bill Maher

Exactly. I love Bill Morgan because like I'm addicted to like hanging out with prostitutes and smoking weed. Yeah. That's why I mean, no.

You guys in Duke Covney should chill. I know. All right. So there was something that happened three times on the episode today that was unusual. It's a new bit that we're doing. A fly?

Right. There was no fly. I looked and I was like I didn't see the fly. And I was also like is Matt O' kid? So we started this last episode with Troy Savon where we do like a secret. And last week the secret was we kept saying the word correctamundo.

And then we revealed it to him at the end. And we asked him at then what was weird. And he's like, well, you said correctamundo a lot. So you knew that it was the fly. When would you know to start clapping? You just intuited it. It was intuitive. Every time you did it was like, I was like, I'm not seeing anything.

And I was kind of like, it must be a fruit fly. And then I was also like, so I smell. bad. No, no, no, no, no. The fly's coming for me. And this is also the second. This is why I love it. It creates so much. It creates so much. The second week in the row where I was a little too cowardly to fully go ahead with my game. My usual thing. Yeah, you didn't get hard. Well, I got one. I didn't know. Mine was getting hard. No, my, my, I was trying to incorporate the word vortex, but I only used it once. Yeah. We did one too. He was going to use. He was going to use vortex a lot. What was yours? When you go home, you'll find out.

Dang. Whoa. Mine is tomorrow you will be colorblind. Yeah. And you will. No, he is. He is. Why am I excited? I didn't know that. No, I'm a listener. There we go.

A reader, if you will. A reader, if you will. A reader, if you will. A finalist. Finalist. And we've had a fun-ass time. Go see. Spike and Honey on tour.

San Francisco, Seattle, Portland, Berlin, London. You're in L.A. by yourself. And I'm in L.A. by yourself. And I'm in Paris. And Paris as well. A show in Paris?

Yes, we believe so. We'll have a show on the third in Paris. And also, if you're in New Haven, Connecticut in October, you should see our friend Seven be Frankenfurter in the Shadowcast production of Rose Tint. Oh my God. Oh, that's amazing. And we're going on October 24th. Definitely. Oh, and I have a podcast.

Yeah. Honey has a podcast. And you guys fucking slayed down at Twinks versus Dolls Five. Yeah. It was a blast. It was a blast. I was stressed the fuck out. You guys, I was so, I was spitting out. I was having like an episode. I mean, next year we're doing it in space. Thank God. It really is like the

most over-simulating environment that a human being could ask to perform within. It is kind of like surveillance, Panopticon. Yes, it was panopticon. There's still slime on our white shirts. Of course. Same.

They told us to wear white shirts to host. And they had to be referees. That I, the dry cleaner that I go to off Broadway. What? He goes, what is this green? I go, it is slime. It is slime. I cannot.

Girl. You ever seen Nickelodeon? Yes. Sort of like that. I was like, I think I took an out all that day because I was like this is Launday. And then Chelsea Manning is sitting next to me like What's good?

Just like just being like what do I like Yeah, like should we should we should be chime in and I'm like what is going on like why am I like Amazing too. Thank you. It was that was incredible. It was a blast. It was a blast. Anyway, okay we had every other words with the song.

Let's do it. I feel like we gotta give it up. Yeah. Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SpongeBob Square! I was gonna do a Dalai Pardin song like. SpongeBob Square pants.

I'm not Uncle Nantes. This is something you wear? SpongeBob Square pants. Can flop on the floor and talk like a fish. SpongeBob Square. Ready? SpongeBob Square pants. SpongeBob Square pants.

Hey. SpongeBob Square pants. SpongeBob Square pants. Need a mash up with Joeline and that. Rest the case. Stolly part in and Tim Poo to Puddle. Coo the Fiddle. Last Culture,

this is the production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and Iheart Radio Podcasts. Created and hosted by Matt Rogers. and Bowen Yang, executive produced by Anna Hosniyi and produced by Becker Ramos, edited by Hot Dog Sandwich. And our music is by Henry Kversky. I'm Munga Chitigler, and I'm back with a new season of my podcast, Skyline Drive. This time I talked to scientists, biopunks, kermudgens, blues owners, super seniors, and Goa's top cryotherapy lab to try to understand this obsession with living forever and what it means for all of us.

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