Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - "Daddy" (w/ Brian Faas)

Episode Date: February 13, 2017

Get it together, honeys. We got hot culture coming your way — and it’s REAL because your Culturistas have invited GURU Brian Faas (Best Week Ever, Above Average) onto the show. Topics include Lady Gaga, Brandy, Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, Dolly Parton, Dollywood, Clueless, the Grammys, and much more! Plus — their world famous segment “I Don’t Think So, Honey,” which sparks a relevant discussion you must hear. Listen & subscribe, bitch!LAS CULTURISTAS HAS A PATREON! For $5/month, you get exclusive access to WEEKLY Patreon-ONLY Las Culturistas content!!https://www.patreon.com/lasculturistasCONNECT W/ LAS CULTURISTAS ON FACEBOOK & TWITTER for the best in "I Don't Think So, Honey" action, updates on live shows, conversations with the Las Culturistas community, and behind-the scenes photos/videos:www.facebook.com/lasculturistastwitter.com/lasculturistasLAS CULTURISTAS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASThttp://foreverdogproductions.com/fdpn/podcasts/las-culturistas/ Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind-the-scenes stories, crazy details, and honestly, just having a blast talking football. Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all times, from legends to our buddies to current stars. We're finally answering the age-old question. What kind of dudes are these dudes? We're going to find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season.

Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Thanksgiving Day 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami?

Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. I was a desperate, delusional dreamer. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate, delusional dreamer.

Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. I'm Cheryl Swoops. And I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women.

And T and I have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Sheryl Swo and Tariqa Foster-Brasby, an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. My grandma and your grandma Were sitting by the fire My grandma told your grandma I'm gonna set your flag on fire

You're talking about henna Henna Henna Henna Aiko aiko ande Jagamofino anane Jagamofino ande Ding dong, let's call Teresa's calling

Now I want everyone to just take a second And get yourself together. Okay. And know this. It's real, bitch. It's real, bitch. Las Culturistas podcast coming through your earphones. Oh, come on.

I just want to say we have not technically been on a full hiatus since last episode, but it's the liminal space between a non-hiatus and a full hiatus. But still so much longer than I want to be away. I want to be talking to you all the doodod day. All the doodod do, yes. So much culture has happened since the last episode, too. Oh, a ton of culture.

By the way, I just want to say my name is Matt Rogers. By the way, I want to say my name is Bowen Yang. We are two best friends who host a podcast together that dives into culture and wow has there been a lot of culture these past days these past days there's been a lot of culture and um i also want to say this what i think it's very important to remind the listeners who we are what we stand for what our mission statement is what our value proposition is, honey.

Yes, absolutely. See, in the beginning of anything, you want to establish who you are, what your relationship is to the other person. What you have to offer, the value proposition. We're using business terms here, honey. Yes, bitch.

Oh, yes, bitch. Now, this all seems to be a very fitting introduction to our amazing guest. I'm so excited about this guest. I love this guest so much. He is a true mogul. Hashtag this guest.

Let's lift off the credits. Yeah, I get off on these credits. He is on the legendary UCB weekend team, The Luffern. Yes, mythical. The mythical nature of. Yes, mythical. I want to say.

The mythical nature of this team. Oh, absolutely. Rings true. He hosts the character wheelhouse show at UCB called Ding Dong. Ding Dong. And you can see that at UCB Chelsea. And it's coming up. And maybe even yours truly will be a guest.

Okay, girl. Okay. It's a little teasing. Okay, yes. A little bit of teasing. You know? Tickle, tickle. You might have known him from VH1's Best Week Ever.

Yes. Which is, of course, famously the best show ever. And what a little heartthrob. Truly. Truly. In fact, a lot of community gays, a lot of UCB gays, a lot of people out there, these gays, they have a crush on Brian Foss, and I don't want to blow up anyone's spot. But multiple sources have said... But multiple sources confirm they have a crush on Brian Foss, and I don't want to blow up anyone's spot. But multiple sources have said...

But multiple sources confirm they have crushes on Brian Foss. And have for many years. Oh, shit. I gave away his name. Listen, you've seen him in videos on Above Average, all the doodah. It is Brian Foss! Hi, Brian. Ooh, crush alert.

Yeah, crush alert. That was the first time I've heard that. Really? Come on. You must have known you must have had admirers well i think janie and kelly okay our friends mutual friends have a bit going on where they pretend to be attracted to me because anytime i post like a shameless this is me yeah yeah they both will comment and tag each other unbelievable brian no matter what yeah and so i feel like i'm

being made fun of no brian wields the power well though of the thirst trap i mean it's true brian and i will say i love a selfie yes we we actually got to know brian well because we were in brian's advanced study performance class at ucb called brunch where we we basically did... Sorry, it was the official title. It's Brunch with Brian Foss. Brunch with Brian Foss. Gotta have the name in the title. Gotta have it. Okay, yes.

Amazing. I like that better. And I will say, when Brian entered the room, I exclaimed, Daddy! And it stuck. It caught on to such an extent. And how did you feel when I said that? Because you gave me a look like you didn't like it.

I feel like Brian didn't like it, but I'll let you answer for yourself. Here's the thing about nicknames. You can't pick your own nickname. That's true. Like, even Sting, everyone's like, you're still Gordy. You know what I mean? Like, you can't pick your own nickname. It's not okay.

Not true. It happens to you. And I accept it. And no nickname, truly, in all of my years, no nickname has stuck except for that. That's unbelievable. I'm so thrilled. And you're sort of the king of nicknames. Yes.

You know, well, this is my thing, is when I feel an instinct, I follow it. And, like, for example, Bowen has many nicknames. Bobi Set. Alanis Bobi Set. Bobis. Bobisa.isette. Bobis. Bobisa. Booba. Bobisa.

Yes. But then, as Matt has mentioned before, the nicknames are out of complete affection. Oh, yeah. I mean, when I feel a burst of love in my heart, some word will just fly forth. You don't tease someone you don't adore. No, but that's the thing. I mean, there's a fine line between a nickname and a teasing nickname girl yes if it's not if it's bothering you then no i i think daddy is hilarious i'm not a father in real life but when you're a

teacher in a class you're sort of like you're a daddy everyone goes into their old like psychosexual position. Yes, of course. Absolutely. And it's funny how some people become like the rebels in the class, even though outside of class they're like have no issue with authority and they don't think of you that way. But because suddenly they're like in ninth grade and they're being told what to do. Yeah. No, no, no. I mean, there is definitely I've actually always for as long as i've been in a classroom i've always always had

a thing with the teacher oh absolutely like i have i i've always thought it was like a thing with authority but like i've never not been like a little sexually intimidated by the person that was teaching the class oh there's and this goes back since i was was in first grade. I had a math teacher, and I'll use her old name because she's had other husbands. Okay, divorcees. Mrs. Mobley. Mrs. Mobley. And now she's someone else. But she was this 100-pound little probably 27-year-old hottie math teacher.

She did business school, did corporate world for a couple years, and then was like, you know you know what i'm gonna go back to the kids yeah and she used to make eyes at me in our pre-calc class that's right pre-calculus and then i took ap calc with her but she's smart yeah you know i got a five um so did you yeah an ap calc ic. Yeah, come on. Someone and I are very smart. We're very smart. I took Regents Statistics. Oh. What is that? It's like... Statistics is very hard. You could either do calculus or you could do statistics.

And I chose to do statistics because it was easier. And I also did... It's a myth. It's not easier. Statistics is crazy hard. Probability is like the hardest part of math. Conceptualizing probability is nuts. I mean, think about it.

I don't want to bring up the election in the first minute of every conversation but perfect example it's like people look at the percentage on new york times and they think hillary will win by 83 percent it's like no no no no it's a light it's a probability there were five elections yeah she will win four of them and lose one of them and we got the fifth one. People are like, wait, no. She has the 80% chance of winning by only 1%. Now if we said, what is her chance of winning by

5%, the number would be very different and people's confidence would have been very different. It's very difficult as humans to wrap our brains around this. Brian can teach probability. Which is why I famously take into the woods and now I listen to nothing. I only come out for this podcast.

Sure, sure, sure. So listen, we were talking about daddy and you know, Mark has a beautiful husband. I mean, Brian has a beautiful husband, Mark. And you know,

Mark has a beautiful husband named Brian. Oh, come on. It goes both ways. Beauty of homosexuality. So what I guess this naturally goes to is children.

When? Oh, my God. I guess we get this question all the time. I'm sure you do. And it's a compliment to be like, you would be great parents. But it's also sort of a backhanded. I didn't mean it as I didn't mean it as that. I didn't even say I would be a good parent.

I like put that in your mouth. We don't have kids now and we're not planning on having kids yeah we did we would the only thing that we have decided on is that we would adopt we wouldn't yeah do you like the surrogacy route you must and then the only other thing we've talked about is like if we did have kids we would probably not adopt an infant oh sure okay like an older kid that can already talk and shit? Talk, comma, and shit? Yeah. Well, hopefully it could shit.

Otherwise, that'd be a whole other issue. We'd be like, where'd we get this kid? Kid can't shit. Kid doesn't even shit. Where does it go? Kid talks, doesn't shit. Unbelievable, this kid. Or kid shits, doesn't talk. Thought we were doing a good thing, getting him a little bit later in life.

You know what? Kid doesn't shit. That's... But yeah, like... Three, four, five, six. Those are great ages. Those are great ages. Yeah, that's good.

That's good. Oh, Brian, that's very... And so we recently had Beth Newell on the show, and we said to her, like... Oh, right. How many kids does she have? She's got two. Wow. But she gets to expose these kids to culture.

And we were talking a little bit before we got on air. And Brian Foss. Yes, Brian. You know, what is the culture that made you say, hmm, culture's for me? I know you have a certain love for a certain pop star that we share. Right. That would be Mariah Carey. That would be Miss Mariah.

Now, I don't know if she's the thing that the first time I realized right of course she was defining though in a way I remember watching there was a VH1 or MTV Mariah Carey vs Whitney Houston music video marathon it was on a Saturday or Sunday

and I like had to mow the lawn that day and like hid hot in the basement we're trying to watch this thing oh man and it was yeah it was great so and that was i don't know was it like third grade yeah wow early but i would say there was similar it's like culture to me um first time i was like wow i want to do that i don't know how was probably watching them movie heathers wow okay and what's crazy is like i we didn't have you know streaming everything yeah you had to go out and get it i watched it for the first time on tbs censored so it was like

watered down so you know and there's some like gently with a chainsaw wasn't in it you know it was like they had all these cutaway shots and actually i read later that like shannon doherty she had like a uh stage mom that didn't want her to say any like bad words i thought you were gonna say shannon doherty actually improvised a lot of her amazing dialogue and i was like there's no goddamn way absolutely not that script is perfect and the writer for that movie also wrote batman returns oh wow there are things that when i was like a young gayling i was like didn't realize i'm like michelle pfeiffer is a gay icon like catwoman is i mean that is such a brilliant for the ages yeah yeah and even the penguin is so funny in that yeah when they

throw him out it's so funny i became fixated with michelle pfeiffer and then in my room when i was by myself i pretend someone was pushing me out a window to my death i would do that too yeah like and then you become a cat the amount of backflips when she put when she had women here maybe more and then she just backflips away yeah like, that's crazy. The amount of backflips is so hilarious. Six, seven, all good girls go to heaven. Truly iconic. I would reenact the scene where she would go home to her apartment and the cats would all... She basically... I mean, it's so funny.

It's so good. It's a great game. All of that great game. And Heather's is so smart. And I remember being on a vacation and my whole family was sort of sleeping in. We were visiting family in Long Island. it's so good it's great game all of that great game and heather's is so smart and i i remember being on a vacation and my whole family was sort of sleeping in we were visiting family in long island suffolk county bay shore respect one town over from my growing up in iceland actually we might have been in iceland or west iceland okay then that's even closer how you doing you're

babble it's your girl no it's i'm ic slept okay and i like was the youngest of four i would wake up early remember when that happened and you'd like wake up before the parents and i went over and it was like maybe seven in the morning and i went into like the room and watched heathers for the first time the real heathers or the tbs the tbs heathers and i was like the the volume was probably on like one or two yeah i pulled up like a chair to the screen and watched it. And I remember being like, what is this? Christian Slater was making me feel things.

Yeah, for sure. The writer was making me feel different things. Yeah. I loved it. Wow. That's amazing. That's specific.

That's a very good one. Yeah. Heather's. I mean, yeah, I feel like there might've been some generational. That definitely wasn't mine, but I was absolutely infatuated, infatuated with all things Clueless.

Like, when I first saw Alicia Silverstone, I was like, who the fuck is she? Yeah. I was like, I need to know everything about what that is about. Yeah. Why are they talking like that? Yeah. She looks like I've never seen anyone look. And the styling styling it being

like this not really what high school kids were right definitely not right you know it's like it's a car yeah exactly yeah it is and you know but apparently they did Amy Heckerling who wrote that and directed it like apparently she did hang out like with those I don't doubt that those kids existed but they're heightened versions of what those kids are absolutely i mean is there a guy that wears like a 1950s matinee idol outfit to school like i don't think so honestly what was that choice i think that movie is genius in every way i remember being truly surprised yeah it's like the gay friend right didn't get that he was

gay until many years later. I was watching it as like a six year old. In fact I remember. They have a euphemism in it. Streisand ticket holding friend of Dorothy. You know what I'm saying? And I was like don't know what that is. He's gay. And they said he's gay. Yeah that's what I'm saying.

Oh my god. Share it the boy can dress. Oh my god. I'm totally bugging. All these words meant nothing to me. Being seven or eight years old in the back of my parents' conversion van on a trip down to Florida because we decided to drive that year. Oh, why wouldn't you drive? My sister and I are watching it in the back on the television that was literally put in the conversion van. Yes.

And we finished watching it and I turned to my sister who was like five and she, I was like, I liked it. She goes, me too. I want to watch it again right now.

And we put it back on and we watched it again and we didn't get a second of it. But it was like visual too. Yeah. Which is like a sneaky trick to make it a visual snack.

Yes. Yes. You gotta have art direction, girl. Rule number 28 of culture. Culture should be a visual snack. Yes. Yes. You got to have art direction, girl. Rule number 28 of culture. Culture should be a tricky snack. Tricky snack? Tricky snack.

Absolutely. Yeah. That's a new one. That's why satire is so brilliant. It's like the Trojan horse. It's like, look at this thing that everyone can enjoy. Yeah. But then we're going to slip in something. The Stephen Colbert.

The broccoli or the cheese. See, that actually, I think, was a cultural high point that year because Clueless was the same year that also Scream came out. And it was these funny... Kevin Williamson. Yeah.

Genius. These funny genre heightened stuff that was really good for so many other reasons besides how amazing they hit their genre and like how funny they were. You know what I mean? Like what a good time. That was a good year.

What? 94, 95, 94, 95, I guess. Yeah. Yeah.

Wow. That's a fun time to revisit. Like, and clueless, I think now you can watch it and it's on Netflix and you can watch it and it, it holds up every time. And the jokes,

there are so many jokes. We were living in like a pre columbine world truly was this the right time in the podcast to bring up school absolutely this is like about the time where we talk about school shootings i will say so maybe this is the generation gap but that was sort of like a big turning point in my high school because our high school was like demographically the exact same as the ones we saw on TV and where Columbine happened. Yeah, yeah. It's like suburban, mostly white high school.

And you grew up? Atlanta, Georgia. Atlanta, Georgia. Roswell. Yes. And it was like we started to have to have mesh book bags or clear book bags and certain clothes like overalls and trench coats weren't allowed it was very we talked about this last week because abra was on and we about why you couldn't wear hats and then one theory that was positive was because you could sneak a gun in a hat absolutely and then

abra goes well then what the fuck do you do with the backpacks that everyone's bringing in like what about those i was like there's no way i'm hiding a gun under my hat oh my god but um i remember we i was in third grade for columbine and my teacher made us stand in a circle and hold hands and sing jules song hands oh that is the that is a gay teacher it might have been one of her worst songs too i it's so like pedophilic a little i'm not familiar my hands it's i know every word my hands are small i know they're not yours they are my own and the video was literally her walking through like a bomb site yes do you remember that that might have been the trigger i think foolish games is great and that was for one of the bat soundtracks. She got banked for that. Oh, Foolish Games is one of my favorite songs of all time. There's a thing.

Am I Standing Still? Okay, keep going. Wait, is that the title? Am I standing still? No, Standing Still is one of her songs, but that's... Matt's giving me a look. I think it's one of her weaker efforts. I don't know.

That to me is up there with... Follow your heart, your intuition. When she was like, I'm gonna be hot. I will say this is, I'll never forget when Jewel said that she was pressured into singing like a frog by her record producers.

And then when she finally was a star, she could say, I don't want to do the frog voice. Do you remember this? I don't remember that. So frog voice do you do you remember this i don't remember so her first album she does a lot of the oh my god who will save your soul so she hated going into her head voice and doing that full round sound and she wanted to who will see that's what she wanted to do she was wrong because as we all learned jewel Jewel stopped making good music. Yeah. Well, that's actually interesting because there's two versions of Foolish Games.

There's the one that's on the first Pieces of You album. And it's more classical sounding in terms of the composition of the music. And also she sings it differently. Interesting. And then they re-recorded it, I think, after the success of... I want to say it was Batman Forever. It was on one of the Batman... It was on Batman Forever. Yeah.

Or was it Batman and Robin? No, it was Batman and... Batman Forever. Yeah. But what was her first big song? You Were Men For Me. Great song. So You Were Men For Me became a huge, I think one of the best songs of the 90s.

And then after that, they kind of were like, okay, we have to look at your album again. Right. And they were like, let's make this more commercial. Which one? And she and she re-recorded foolish games which was like a big adult contemporary hit and she did sing it differently and they cut a whole verse out of it really yeah yeah it's amazing to me that you know this yeah oh i'm a huge for me it's like i didn't listen to mtv i i didn't watch mtv because i wasn't allowed so i was like well, well, I guess I'll watch VH1. So I was very familiar with Leigh-Anne Rimes and Jewel and Shania Twain and Mariah Selene. I was into what the young moms were into.

Yeah, that was my thing. And when Divas Live happened, that was like a huge moment for me oh my god mariah singing with aretha come on celine singing and shania like that was like shania's like introduction to the mainstream i think that was when everyone was like oh oh shania though the next year faith hill they brought her in yeah and there it was i think they were trying to i think the next year they did faith hill and leanne they were trying to the year the next year was the big one was whitney houston so the year prior had been like it was like aretha's night and then it was whitney houston and the young diva they had was brandy woof and not a faith hill was on it not a fan of brandy

okay well okay so we'll get into that i get it but did you know that brandy is actually heralded by like many r&b singers and like singers in general as having like one of the best voices of all time like i do not agree well her riffs are like statistically on point um okay but did you hear the advice that winnie houston gave to brandy on the set of cinderella no what was the advice i think i've to Brandy on the set of Cinderella? No. What was the advice again? I think I've heard this before. She was like, you need to support your notes. And Whitney has said it in interviews on camera.

It was like, so you're performing with this amazing legend. She doesn't support her notes. Did she give you any advice? And it was like, uh-huh. What advice did she give? She said, I need to be she said i need to like you know be louder and i need to support my notes but maybe she's that was a corrective piece of advice and she's and now she's belting it out we all in chicago i think it was terrible in chicago well

not an actress i think that i think that whitney wouldn't bother with advice unless she saw something for real that is a great. That is a great point. That is a great point. I'm not going to spend this podcast taking down Brandy. I'm on Team Monica. Oh, yeah. I'm Team Monica all the way. Because Brandy came into that situation of the boy is mine a real victim.

Hi, excuse me. Can I talk to you? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. And Monica's like, what, bitch? What do you have to say? We both know what you're going to say. So say it, bitch.

No, no, no, honey. Brandy was coming into that situation being respectful. And you cannot twist her to be a victim, honey. I'm team Brandy in this situation. Wow. She comes in there. Brandy comes in here, apologizes to herself with her shoulders hunched and says, can I please talk to you for a minute?

And Monica says, mm-hmm. And she's getting right to it. Let's do this. Because we've done this before. Let's do it word for word, okay? Because I will show you how Brandy... Let's go, let's do it. This is why this is my favorite podcast. Here we go.

Thank you, Brian. Excuse me, can I please talk to you for a minute? Mm-hmm. Sure, you know, you look kind of familiar. Yeah, you do too. But I just want to know, do you know somebody named... You know his name. Oh yeah somebody named you you know his name oh yeah definitely i know his name well i just want to let you know that he's mine no no he is mine

so here we go let's do a little play-by-play brandy the inflection point in that exchange is brandy saying well i just want to let you know i'm asserting to myself is that a victim no she's saying i i just want to let you know that he's mine the intro is passive but then she gets aggressive well here's the deal when you listen to it tell me this isn't true before brandy walked into that coffee shop and saw monica sitting there she was in her car doing laps around the place like okay when you go in there you're gonna say um excuse me you're gonna be polite and no matter what you feel and then you're gonna just assert yourself you're. You're going to be polite no matter what you feel. And then you're going to just assert yourself. You're going to assert yourself, Brandy.

And Monica's sitting in there like, this coffee's wrong. This is not what I ordered. Excuse me. Hello. Conjecture. And that's what makes me Monica and Bo and Brandy. Okay. All right.

And some of us are just Brandys. Okay. Now I have that Monica song in my head. I should make a move, but I won't. I know you're probably thinking something is wrong. Knowing if I do that, it won't be right. I want to get down, but not the first night. Yes.

I love that. Wow. I love that message. We should also say... Save it for the second date. Monica's... Monica's... Save it for the second date.

Second date. That's all. Second date. This is my favorite Monica song of all time. Angel of mine. Angel second date. That's all. This is my favorite Monica song of all time. Angel of mine. Angel of mine. And no one shuts it out. When you mean to me, you'll never know.

Every now, you help me grow. Came into my mind when you knew. Show me love. Do you remember when I lost all hope? You showed me love. I mean, great, great songwriting. Great vocals. Let me tell you something. Great vocals. Also, Every song in the 90s had this snap.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Oh my God. Wait. What? Rule number 28 of culture. We're getting into some rules. Monica, bitch.

28 is just Monica, bitch. She doesn't get the credit. No. No. You know what? That sucks. Monica's the best. Yeah.

But you know, she lives in Atlanta. She's still like a celebrity there. Oh, she's an Atlanta girl. Yeah. Great. Oh, I didn't know that. Atlanta takes care of... Donald Glover talked about this.

What did he say? He was saying that Atlanta is where it's at right now because people stay, they move back there, and they support their artists. That's funny. I recently had a friend move to Atlanta because he said the work was better there. I don't know. I don't know. I just didn't succeed in Atlanta.

There are a lot of opportunities growing up there it's what is it being called yollywood yollywood yollywood that's what they call it i love that on thanksgiving day 1999 a five-year-old boy floated alone in the ocean he had lost his mother trying to reach florida from cuba looked like a little angel. I mean, he looked so fresh. And his name, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere. Elian Gonzalez. Elian Gonzalez. Elian.

Elian. Elian Gonzalez. At the heart of the story is a young boy and the question of who he belongs with. His father in Cuba. Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him.. His father in Cuba. Mr. Gonzales wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died

trying to get you to freedom. At the heart of it all is still this painful family separation. Something that as a Cuban, I know all too well. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, as part of the My Cultura podcast network,

available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. Guess what, folks? We're teammates again. And we're going to welcome you guys all to Dudes on Dudes. I'm a dude, you're a dude and dudes

on dudes is our brand new show we're gonna highlight players peers guys that we played against legends from the past and we're just gonna sit here and talk about them and we'll get into the types of dudes what kind of types of dudes are there grunts we got studs wizards we got freaks or dudes dude we got dogs dog We'll break down their games. We'll share some insider stories. And determine what kind of dude each of these dudes are. Is Randy Moss a stud or a freak? Is Tom Brady a dog or a dudes dude?

We're going to find out Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to dudes on dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Cheryl Swoops, WNBA champ, three-time Olympian, and basketball Hall of Famer. I'm a mom, and I'm a woman. I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby, journalist, sports reporter, basketball analyst, a wife, and I'm also a woman. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. See, athlete or not, we all know it takes a lot as women to be at the top of our game.

We want to share those stories about balancing work and relationships, motherhood, career shifts, you know, just all the s*** we go through. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women. And T and I, well, we have no problem going there. Listen to levels to this with Cheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby and I Heart Women's Sports Production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports.

Hey, I'm Jay Shetty, and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. We talk about guilt, shame, body image, and huge life transformations. I was a desperate, delusional dreamer. And the desperate part got me in a lot of trouble. I encourage delusional dreamers.

Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate, delusional dreamer. I just had such an anger. I was just so mad at life. Everything that wasn't right was everybody's fault but mine. I had such a victim mentality. I took zero accountability for anything in my life. I was the kid that if you asked what happened, I immediately started with everything but me. It took years for me to break that, like years of work. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. And here I thought my favorite play on Hollywood was Dollywood. I went to Dollywood. You did? Oh my God, we have to talk about Dollywood. All right, so we went in May. Oh, recent. Two things I didn't realize.

There's not like dollies walking around No it's not about dolly It's about the wood It's about supporting the mountains And there was a bunch of gay couples Walking around that were stone sober All looking like we'd pass and they'd look You'd get that eye contact like we thought this was gonna be something else

There was definitely A bit of a trick that said So that's one it's not as much dolly as i want they have like one dress store that you can like buy things and that's it there's no fierce wigs no no it so or nail pressings the other thing that is crazy about dollywood is that there was a local another amusement park like a town over that had like a fire or went bankrupt or something so oh my god so dollywood bought all of their employees or what dolly's like all of their roller coasters so dolly would like 20 years ago had like five rides yeah and it was mostly like

the kitsch and like oh there's a folk band and eat some you know pork rinds and that's like part of it they bought all these insane roller coasters and then filled in every possible inch of Dollywood with roller coasters. And it feels incredibly dangerous. Oh, really? And I recommend that. Did you ride?

That was the best part. I've never felt like I was going to die more than on a rickety hill country roller coaster. There's one called the Screaming Eagle that gave me whiplash. And I was just like, I don't know who I would tell. What the fuck? I'm in the middle of Tennessee. There's no alcohol here.

I mean, it was wild. There's no alcohol there? It's a dry amusement park. Come through. I mean, that doesn't seem i hate that did you ride they have like a nationally recognized wooden roller coaster they're called thunderhead did you ride thunderhead yes yeah that's like that's like her crown jewel of that park yeah they they have a lot of rides in a very small space and so you could do the whole park if you wanted to in

like two hours where is this tennessee yeah it's in is it outside of nashville uh no it's in it's closer to pigeon pigeon forge that's where it is yeah and the fires recently it were in gatlinburg or gatlinville this is the fires were recent and like the acquisition of all these crazy right no no no maybe i'm can i'm confusing the recent fires with the reason the other amusement park but yeah dolly uh donated like a thousand dollars to every family affected by the fire she's dolly is the best dolly's truly amazing and also she actually i'm adding her to uh my bucket list there to see live i was scrolling around on spotify and i listened to she they have a concert of hers that she did in london and it's such a gag because like the last i wouldn't think she'd be popular there

oh right i don't know i think she's internationally popular wow and also there's a lot of the british love country yeah there's no idea canadians love country too you know who's huge in canada still are the dixie Chicks. Wow. So they still go on huge North American tours, but they just do most of it in... North America. Well, Dixie Chicks do European tours too still. I think last year when they were touring last summer.

Well, that's where the controversy happened was England. Right. Yeah. That's when she said that thing about George W. Bush. Because it was interesting. Yeah. So then she came back to the States she said that thing about George W. Bush. Because it was interesting. Yeah. So then she came back to the States and everyone was like all fired up and insane. But I think they still do really well.

I mean, they just did a huge concert at Madison Square Garden that I was supposed to go to. Yeah, last year. It was right after Orlando. You were going to say something about Dolly? Dolly's London concert? Oh, she has a concert on Spotify. It's like live from London or something. And what's such a gag is the last seven songs are like huge hits that you can't tonight like nine to five when you hear the beginning

chords when i'm five you're like fuck yes yep and but also her introductions and outros of all the songs oh my god i love singing and i've always wanted to sing so it's so great to be here sing with all of you here's my next song and it's just like it's insane so the great dolly story real quick so she came to new york to uh to meet with the broadway producers for the 95 yeah and they like had dinner she's like i love new york city time square whatever right and like great so like obviously nine to five will be in the show, but we want to have all original music. And she was like, sounds good. And I'll go back to my hotel.

The next morning she showed up with like 30 songs. Yeah. Oh, my God. They were like, what? She's like, I just went back to my hotel and got got to write. Yeah. Yeah. I love her.

And also there's one song. I hope my friend Amanda Schachtman is listening to this, because we always gag over this song, which is Get Out and Stay Out. Which is like the 11 o'clock number in that musical, where Stephanie J. Block is just like, I'm not going to be abused anymore. And she's like the Jane Fonda character. And it's such a fierce singer's number. Literally, the end of it is just this woman like belting her tits off like it's just so good i recommend everyone go home and also like like full tits they one of her tits fell off at the end of the number the tits and then everyone just it was an ovation ovation

but i never saw it nine to five and i'm mad because i would gag for i'm a recent dolly convert truly and like and then i watched like a bunch of her interviews like last year and like her and barbara walters like in the 80s and barbara's asking her these truly inane questions like well what's with all the makeup and the wigs and stuff and like and then dolly's just like very like very measuredly and gracefully answering everything. And she's... I just... Dolly's...

She's a class act. Dolly's still making jokes about her chest. Yes. She was at an award show like a week ago. Takes a lot of money to look this cheap. A line now co-opted by drag queen Alaska Thunderfuck. Yeah. But I mean, as a tribute.

Right, of course. Dolly is. I just got mad for a second i was like no no no i like alaska we know watch i watch her youtube channel with her brother yes um who seems gayer than alaska right funny right right is he gay he's supposedly they call him bro laska and so it's a lot of like he said she said about like what they grew up how they grew up and sex practices and stuff it's cute oh yes yes yes yes god world of world of wonder that's the mapole did you hear about the two new green lights no so there's going to be two new

shows coming out on youtube there's going to be house of edwards which is alissa edwards's show also featuring yes also featuring laganja astranja and it's gonna be about gone just having him she's all set she's all stars three i think yes i love it oh yeah um so she's a great story she is and i think i think things are gonna turn out really really well for her um but it's going to be House of Edwards with Laganja and Alyssa. And it's about them running their dance studio. So it's essentially Dance Moms, but with Alyssa Edwards. That's amazing. And it's going to be apparently all about the kooky parents and their employees and the kids.

So it's children. Yeah. I love that. Well, she teaches like K through 18. And they all worship her. Yeah. And you don't on Drag Race. There's a few like classic drag queen skills you don't really get to see.

Yeah, exactly. Like on the show. Obviously lip syncing you get to see if you're being kicked off. Right. But there's rarely like a lip sync challenge, you know. Right. Right. Like a lot of the, I don't know, a lot of the challenges aren't what these performers

do every week. Like working a crowd. Like working a room is not something they ever get challenged on doing. No. Every now and then they'll do like a stand-up challenge and there'll be some element of it. But you know what's crazy is like for example, Violet Chachki, her number one thing is her like aerial silks. And she never did it on the show. So the folks at home are like, why did she win?

Right. And it's like, well, we didn't see. It's like people kept saying corsets, corsets. And it's like, well, that's not what she does. Right. When she performs. She's a performer. She's incredible.

David. I mean, David. I met her. Oh, you met Violet? Yeah. At a gay bar in Atlanta. How was that? Oh, because she's from Atlanta.

It was sort of sad because there was like she wasn't in drag he was like but he wanted like people to still like take pictures with him and stuff i know it's really clamoring for that attention it is yeah it is weird um uh what was i gonna say no david previous guest of the show said really and i think this is a great point but it's also maybe not feasible where like the one of the final challenges should be the queens just to craft their own live show yeah if it means like lip-syncing to their own numbers and they would have to like just go through all like the rights and the wrong that's the thing is it's like even bob the drag queen like you see bob the drag queen live in new york which we did all the time before he was on the show like you truly even after watching the season and

knowing how amazing bob is and bob obviously won rightfully and earned tons of new fans, you still don't know how fucking good Bob is. You still don't get it. You still don't get it. No, Bob does this and this and this and this. I have a question for you, Matt, because I know you're an idol, American idol savant. Huge part of my life. So Bob the Drag Queen was the fan who beat who became the winner right had seen all the sure that's sort of this sub narrative yeah who is that for american idol

who came in and knew exactly which kinds of songs to flip you know it's it's so interesting with american idol because it has so much less to do with your creativity and so much more to do with how lucky you get on the show if they choose you as a favorite or not. Could it be like a David Cook? Well, yeah. But the thing is, I doubt that David Cook actually watched a lot of it. I think David Cook just was given the opportunity to take a lot of artistic license. David Cook, famously at the time, they did a mariah carey week and he this is what i was thinking he arranged always be my baby and it was like an emo dark song yeah and also

nobody covers always be my baby because how could you do it i mean like it's one of those songs and this is like with a lot of mariah especially without backup singers like so much of it's about the backup and they say this on they used to say this on the show and i think i think still for a lot of uh talent shows they say you know don't do mariah it's just it's too hard people are expecting to hear certain notes and if you can't hit those notes yeah so then was this successful it was hugely successful and she was even there coaching them this is before she did her stint as a judge on the show and you could tell she legitimately was like really into it. Cool.

She was like, wow, this is really cool. She might have even said we should put that out. Yeah. And they did. And it was a hit. Like when they used to release them on iTunes and stuff, which I was, I love. Chrissy Lee Cook did Forever as a country song. It was good.

And Mariah said, literally, I like that better than my version. Well, because Forever like is a country song it was good i said literally i like that better than my version that's well because forever like is a country it's like and it's a country song from like the 60s you know it's like elvis you know um forever is great this is oh man mariah i just i just want to say this about mariah so fucking amazing i just want to say this about mariah i mean the fact that she was able to like concede that like these interpretations like, really novel and really great without, like, I mean, like, that's how you know she's, like, that's how you know she cares about the work first and foremost. And it's not about, like, the TV. At the time.

I mean, at the time. Because even then, even that Mariah, which was, like, 2008 or 2009 Mariah is, is like a different Mariah than what we have now. She's now a reality star. She's got two kids, two husbands. Yeah. She's got two props. Two props. She's called her kids.

Famously on the first episode of Mariah's World, she was on one yacht while her husband was on another yacht. Yeah. It's always so annoying when you can't decide which yacht to be on and then you have to just agree to disagree and go on different yachts and the yachts drive past each other and you're like you come to my yacht no no you come to literally that happened oh my god i can't believe it wait but mariah this is interesting like i was listening to i guess what's the tea or something or some interview with rupaul and she was talking about how Mariah, Mariah was on what's the tea. No,

no, no, no, no. Like, this is like, at some point I heard RuPaul say this on during some interview, maybe on her podcast,

what's the tea. Um, and saying how, you know, they always want to do Mariah songs as lip syncs for your life. So they always want to include Mariah in some way, but the label doesn't, but you know,

it's just, they will never clear her songs. Cause maybe because she has at least 50 songwriting credit on every song it requires her approval yeah which means emailing mariah care no way can you you think she's good with email you think she gets back to you i think i i would what a delicious irony would be if mariah was like great at email and responded right. Yeah. Representing herself. Yeah.

Yeah. Totally. Let's like. Yeah. Absolutely. Putting this in my Google Cal. Oh my God. I've I've seen her in concert a few times.

It's it's a bummer because there's so much time spent off stage. And then you think like she's going to come out with like a full mermaid costume with wings and it's like the same thing no different shoes like famously like what is she doing back there and they have this dj that's like yeah hey guys you remember this jackson five song and then he'll play like non-mariah music just to keep the crowd going and it's very much the r&b crowd that still comes out yeah my first concert first concert, Mariah. Her first words stepping onto the stage, do you like the ensemble?

She was dressed as a sailor. The Bianca versus Mariah. She was dressed as a sailor. And then the thread of the concert was Bianca versus Mariah. The first words, do you like the ensemble? Yeah. And I will say- Bianca, for those who don't know, it's from the Heartbreaker video.

Bianca is the brunette version of Mariah that is evil. And they have a fistfight in the bathroom at the movie theater over Jerry O'Connell. Yes. For those who don't know. And I mean, this concert was truly bizarre. We talked about it before on the show. Okay, we can move on. But the thing is, wait, Mariah, though, she, there's, I get upset when I talk about her.

Me too. We have this, yes. Because truly, like, my life was changed by the Butterfly album. And then also, like, the lyrics in the Butterfly album. You listen to the lyrics on, like, what she's getting at. Even simple songs like Fourth of July. Yeah. Well, my favorite, I think of all, one of my favorites of all time is the roof and i also love breakdown like those are

two like kind of deep cuts on that album and then also she's got this ballad on that album called whenever you call which is so good and brian mcknight does a duet yeah that's even better i would say i kind of prefer it with just her and also if adele recorded whenever you call today people would be gagging but mariah did that shit literally literally 20 years ago no one cares it's 20 years i know isn't that insane and also that's why when people are like truly gagged over 25 like all i ask i'm like you guys mariah was doing better work than this in 1997. Like, she had these kind of soaring pop ballads with R&B influences and this better voice than Adele has. But her brand wasn't the authentic black and white walking along the river with a trench coat. I mean, yeah.

That was Adele. That was the Someone Like You moment. The video was as important as that song. Are the Grammys tonight? Holy shit, that's insane. Okay, so you guys are going to listen to this today when you're listening to it, but the Grammys will have been last

night. Beyonce. If that happens, I'm going to be so pissed. I'm going to be really upset. It might happen. And you know it's going to be such a thing. Here's the thing. The recording industry industry they vote right right and they are invested in artists that make money that make money and also they want more

artists that don't require a ton of production and a ton right and so like beyonce like like to spend so much money on her albums i mean every song has a video like she doesn't give interviews i think the machine of it wants an artist like beck wants an artist like adele yeah wants an artist like prince who plays all his own instruments like they want someone who's it's about the music and about the recording i believe that i don't think it's about the music but that's the thing is like i just feel like at this point, you've got to... And it's so weird to say this about the contemporary artist who's literally won the most Grammys of anyone, which is Beyonce.

But she should win Album of the Year for Lemonade. You have to have some respect. Have some respect. Lemonade was it. And 25 is 21.0. What if Bieber's purpose wins? Honestly, God bless. My life is a moment.

Fascism will have truly won. Everyone's watching. Honestly, yeah. In Trump's America, you have to expect Bieber's going to win album of the year at the Grammys. The rules are out the door. Because it's interesting. It's going to be very interesting. I blame Bieber for Trump.

Oh, sure. I think this year. Explain. This is my book. I'm pitching my book here we go this past year we didn't have a bieber to hate we didn't have a miley cyrus to shock people for months there were here's some pop culture stories that happened in 2016 and you tell me if they made a splash okay kim kardashian was hogtied in her paris hotel room and robbed yeah

yeah how much did you hear about it? While it happened, while it happened a lot, but then it died down after two days. But two days. Yeah. The biggest,

like, social media reality star was hogtied in her hotel room and robbed in Paris. At gunpoint. Both Justin Bieber and Orlando Bloom

released dick pics. Yeah, yeah. To, like, compete with each other because they have a feud over Orlando Bloom's baby mama. That happened this year. Do you remember talking about this? I mean, keep listening, but I'm going to. Ryan Lochte. This was actually one of the bigger ones, but still two weeks.

Ryan Lochte like vandalized and peed all over a Brazilian gas station. And lied about it. and then lied about it and then went on dancing with the stars and was almost punched by an audience member yeah i remember that oh my two weeks and it went away it's like we needed a charlie sheen this year we needed a well that was but you know what took up way too much time in respect to all that was when fucking kim kardashian released the clip of taylor swift and kanye west phone call it's like that was a great story that was i mean it was it was so satisfying yeah but um that was a that was probably maybe one of the bigger ones that and

and beyonce and jay-z did he cheat you know what i mean like that was like a big one too but it felt immediately like once her song came out addressing it it it was like, huh, maybe this was all part of the- The marketing ploy. The marketing ploy. What I'm saying, there wasn't something that felt truly like a train wreck except for the obvious story that we saw on the headline every day. But I'm saying we needed- Bieber got a good album and stopped driving drunk. Right, right. like bieber like got a good album and stopped driving drunk you know right right like a lot of the artists that we are used to having those crazy moments like just like but it's like you're

off but it's like nothing can really break through the noise anymore that's why it all dies down like even and i'll say this like even with like the whole trump like piss played ostia yeah that died down after three you know like it's because insanity is the new normal and the pacing is like no one can keep yeah no one can keep like i don't know what the shelf life is anymore for any sort of like big crazy story like we'll talk about it for sure and there'll be a spike in in the discourse or whatever but like you can't nothing lives on anymore and that's that's kind of tragic like we can't really, like, let things simmer and talk about that. Insanity is the new normal. And what's going to be the response to that?

Like, in 2017, like, what are things going to be like? I don't know. Like, that's what's crazy. It's like, are we going to go back to a time when, like, things were simpler? Like, is 25 by Adele, like, a kind of, this is going to be what things are like now? Like, we're going to go back to a simpler time where just like kind of like have basic shit because you can't expect to grab headlines anymore with your like insane behavior well i mean there's a you know the theory of the tipping point and like if you look at the tabloid culture in the uk they've always been like a decade or two ahead of

us like what they're willing to do like their biggest magazine has topless women on page six you know those those women become famous for a week and everyone's like she's from brighton she's one of us look at those teats you know and like they've been doing that for years and they've had obviously the super obsessed celebrity culture and then princess diana happened yeah and then people started to pull back and then they they still entertained it with the reality show characters. And all of those TLC, like my 800-pound wife who does ballet shows. Those have British predecessors.

They're all from Britain. They're just worth stealing from them. American Idol, too. Pop Idol and X Factor. Huge. So I think there will be a tipping point. I just have no idea what it is. I never realized that.

Thank you, Brian, for bringing that true true actual like profound piece of cultural knowledge that was insane right there i mean that really fucked me right there okay i mean matt's making a face but like really just got fucked by knowledge yeah honestly that yeah i if and if you look through history too like there's a liberal time and then there's a conservative time and then there's a liberal and in culture, you know what I mean? Like, like, it's true. The 60s and 70s were a thing. And then there was like the 80s and 90s where it kind of pulled back. And then, you know, right now you could argue that in the aughts and what we have now, we've been in a super kind of like very boundary pushing time. And you have to wonder, are we about to see that return to something else?

Yeah. Which is, you know, something interesting. So, okay, this is a very unfair, like scary question. But let's say someone raids your house, says you only get to keep three pieces of culture. Books, movies, TV. Oh, my God. What do you keep? What do you keep?

Well, this is interesting because am I keeping them for sentimental value or am I keeping them because I'm going to use them? Also, am I keeping them for the apocalypse? Like am I Fahrenheit 451-ing these or is it just for my house? What do you want people to think of you when they find this shit? I know. Are you super smart or do you want to be truthful? I think you want to be truthful. We want to be truthful. Let's be truthful. This is a very hard question.

I wish I had prepared for it. I will answer first out of fairness. I want to keep The Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time. Okay. Does that count as a book, movie, or TV? A video game. Okay.

So, I mean, we'll include video games. Multimedia. Multimedia. I want to keep Lady Gaga Born This Way. No, I want to keep Fleetwood Mac Rumors. No, I want to keep Beach Boys Pet Sounds. The thing is, while you've been making the decision, you unfortunately did burn. No, stop.

Stop, stop, stop. Okay, okay. Zelda Ocarina of Time, Beach beach boys pet sounds and yes not to what a straight thing to say no it's not no come on i had a moment in college it's pretty silly it's an it's a great what no i mean i i'm saying it's silly in a good way it's a silly fun it's even it's a pretty gay um album and uh i will say um oh god uh i can't do this this is so hard and then a book i want to keep a book just to balance it out um you know what let's do uh uh harry potter the deathly Hallows, or The Goblet of Fire. I was going to say Harry Potter too, but actually what's most important to me is that people have a misconception in me that I was much smarter than I am.

So here's what I would do. I would take Henry's picture that's hanging up in our apartment of Leonard Bernstein. I would take In Cold Blood by Truman Capote, which which i have and it's one of my favorite books for real knowledge and then i would um this is just about image this that's not the question no okay i'm kidding uh this is a weird one what's been most important to me that i feel will represent me yeah i would probably grab butterfly album by mariah carey yes you must probably like goblet of fire by harry by harry potter jk rowling's by harry potter and the gobbled a fire because i do believe it's the

best book yes shout out to elise morales who we did an entire episode of lost culture is this about harry potter and i probably would bring would would oh man it's not useful but i still keep my um uh like old tickets to universal studios like my room keys yeah just like take them with me that's because i always have this irrational thing like if i ever do show up in orlando that that and i don't have tickets i can just somehow whip out my old things my old like park tickets. You know that's sure going even though I know it'll never happen. No, you're holding on to the percent of memo value. I am a hoarder though. Henry will tell you

I am a full hoarder. There you go. Those are Matt's three. This is a tough question. It's a weird question. I know. No, I don't mean weird like it's weird that you said it. It's like a weird one because it's hard to navigate yourself. Also, hard media is already irrelevant. Like you have all of the media.

Like if this person is robbing you, are they also robbing you of your ability to watch any movie you want or stream any song you want? Like is it just the thing that you want a hard copy of? It's also so weird now because you don't need hard copies of anything because everything is so accessible. So like, yeah, that's what he's saying. I mean, unless there's like a backlash and, you know, unless it is a Fahrenheit 451 thing, streaming servers are destroyed. No streamings.

Alright, the book I will keep is the 2016 Fall Restoration Hardware Catalog. It's 700 pages. It's's beautiful it's beautiful and if all goes to shit i'll still have those chandeliers to look at yeah beautiful resto beautiful um in honor of the grammys tonight which will have already happened by the time you hear that i'm gonna say an album of the year uh beck's morning phase oh 2014 scientologist beck uh he was a child of

scientology don't know so was leah remini and she's still iconic she's still leading the charge she's still saving lives but it's the kind of album i could listen to every day oh that's great it's beautiful he plays every instrument on it it's i feel like yeah it's an everyday album and that this is what i'm holding on to everyday naked with no furniture in my house after being robbed i might want that yeah and then oh like the piece of like film or this is hard film or tv uh heathers sure i'll take it. Heathers on DVD. Now I'm fixated on the fact that the Grammys are tonight. And you guys, we just went to go see Maren Morris.

Nominee for Best New Artist. Do you know Maren Morris? Church, yeah. My church, yes. And also 80s Mercedes. One of the best pop songs of 2020. 80s Mercedes. I love it.

And also the Miranda Lambert triple album that she put out this year was very good. Very good. I've been listening to that a lot. There's a song called In My Pink Sunglasses. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've heard of that song. I've heard that song, yeah. Miranda, I want to love more than I do.

This album turned me. Wow. This was the Bill Compton to my sookie stackhouse that's a little matt rogers cut oh my god i was so gagged i was so no with us matt i think we might be the same like one big circle i got my wisdom teeth out and was on heavy drugs and then congratulations thank you my life has never been better no more canker sores recommend everyone gets them pulled seriously i always thought it was canker sore because my mom is from new york yeah canker sores um no man if you if you want to fucking

fuck yourself then i do get on heavy drugs get on heavy drugs go ahead not gonna judge just get on hbo now or hbo go and watch true blood oh my god i was i love anna paquin first two seasons i only watched the first two seasons i don't recommend the show to people because it doesn't get better as it goes but we were mark and i are needed an escape show and we were asking around everyone's like you gotta watch the wire like we don't want something no so we actually picked up this is this is too dark it's too it's it's real too i know it's too real he literally has like a master's in public health like he's like studied like you know statistics of poverty like this show is not going to be an escape from that like but we picked up penny dreadful oh i heard it is for sure mixed but it is an escapist show

with supernatural characters in victorian england it is true blood meets downton abbey josh hartnett's in it there's muted i heard you see his butt you see his butt yeah and by i heard i mean like i have a screen cap website that I go to every now and then called superherofan.net. Oh my God. Where they screen cap the nudity of the week. Although the guy that runs it has been slacking and there hasn't been any updates. There was one called, one of these like Tumblr type blogs called Square Hippies.

Yeah, I remember it. And it was like the guy just like curated cute guys from television the moment they take their shirt off right yeah not much more that's exactly what this is and the last it's like weird that i like we have literally all the porn in the world and yeah right that website is more appealing because like it or not there is something about seeing a celebrity and a real person yeah well the last i have to say quality this guy that runs this website superherofan.net um he um plug i don't know who the fuck he is he's like he's like he's like some like lonely gay like that made this website i just want to say what a misleading

domain name i think it probably started out like pictures of brandon ralph oh right it became oh my god brandon do Does anyone remember Brandon Routh? That's a hot motherfucker, too. Aaron Jackson made this joke about that woman on Survivor, but Brandon Routh just remembered who Brandon Routh was. Keep going. Yeah. Oh, my God.

They tried so hard to make him happen. I know. Yeah, it couldn't happen. Right? But the last update this guy did on the website was a picture of chad michael murray like shirtless around and then you see chad michael murray's butt which is like such a thing you wish for when you're like 14 years old and now that you see it you're like okay cinderella story what uh what he like he had like sexual power over every teenager in the world absolutely he had full dominion and now it's like

there's no capital there anymore yeah yeah i feel like that a little bit jesse mccartney didn't have that moment he tried real hard but he went sexy so fast and i guess we're okay with like you know selena and ariana doing it but with men it's different but men it's sort of like shocking because he still looked like a kid he was like i'm wearing a suit and it's like whose cousin's wedding are you going well? Well what didn't work for Jesse McCartney did work for Justin Bieber. Sure. I mean Jesse. Oh Jesse was like.

Talk about being sexualized. Jesse was a little precursor. It was like a little experiment to be like all right we're going to test it out here. It's funny though because I think Justin Bieber is like the perfect fuck boy. Yeah. So the aesthetic though is like he's not. I mean he wore. He can wear a suit but that's not his look he's still like active

wear it's like i'm bleaching my hair i've got tattoos yeah it's like i don't know in terms of trying to look adult in terms of sex symbols though we're truly settling for justin bieber like it's not come on it is not that good and those pictures are full-on retouched you know who's actually doing a better which ones, which ones? The dick pic? The dick pic? No, not the dick pic. I'm talking about... His shirtless photos?

His, like... What's it? Mark Wahlberg. Calvin Klein ads. Oh, yeah, yeah, sure. Those are ridiculous. Yeah, good angles. Yeah, I mean, lots of retouching.

But you know who's kind of assumed that position now is Nick Jonas. Right. Who works for me, man joe jonas is trying to like get in there too and that's not joe has an eight pack and no one cares joe's an eight pack but the whole his whole frame is like not right he has an eight pack because it's drawn on people no the new he looks like fucking aladdin he is as much of a cartoon as aladdin in those pictures which you make sound like a bad thing which is not a bad thing he he should be a human being is the reason why we shouldn't listen to network notes because he was the one they put their money on they were like yeah he's the star

nick will like you know have the floppy hair and and then there's kevin right and um but then nick when nick came up but like it was like oh oh, it turned out Nick had the real talent. He actually liked... How long have we been talking? Keep going. It turned out Nick had the charm. The X factor. The X factor, the hook that got people interested.

I mean, yeah. Well, someone's a star, you can tell. I think that it was pretty obvious. You know who's a star who's making a comeback? I can't even get through that sentence without laughing. One, Aaron Carter came out with a new EP this weekend. Trump supporter, Aaron Carter.

We rescinded the support. I don't care. Fool's Gold is not a bad single from this past year. Fool's Gold? I haven't even attempted to listen to Aaron Carter. I thought you were gonna say mandy moore oh well mandy moore i will always stand for but this is us as she's doing

that's what i'm saying like but like now are people taking her full-on seriously how mad how mad do you think like uh is it zachary levi zachary levi who was entangled with her tangled and and then the next year frozen became like a billion dollar oh i don't think the movies are that different but the mommy blogs pushed frozen so hard because it was not a romance story about sisters and it was about sisters and it was a new story it wasn't just rapunzel that's true a lot of people didn't know the snow queen maybe people in denmark knew that story you're right it was a new story but to me, as someone who doesn't have kids, they don't seem that different. I think the music is better in Frozen.

Yeah, it is. Like, obviously, that song is so catchy for little girls. Like, all my nieces can sing every single word, and they don't know how to wipe their butts. But I will say, if I were Mandy or Zachary, I would be hating myself. I mean, if it's any consolation to Mandy or Zachary, what I think if you're listening,

Mandy and Zachary tangled is narratively a tighter film. I think Matt and I can disagree on, you know, we'll agree to disagree. I just feel like, I don't know. We've talked about this several times, but frozen to me froze like people that listen are going to be like, oh my god, again,

they're going to talk about Frozen. But Frozen to me is... There's something about it, like the way there's something about Nick Jonas. Frozen is a star. Frozen is the Nick Jonas of the Disney canon. Absolutely. What are you doing? We talked about Bieber, and I wanted to find this picture.

Oh, that's him with his penis? So Brian's fully showing us a picture of Bieber in the water with his little dong out. So he released this the week after Orlando Bloom's weird Katy Perry wakeboard picture? Yeah, I mean, that's definitely his dick. That's definitely him. Did he release this? And then the week later, he let that happen. I mean, this is a posed photo.

Absolutely. He's in like a lagoon with the sunshine. It's a healthy cock. You know what I mean? It's not it's not not it's not a bad dick i'm looking at this and i'm like we there are better ones out there better dicks but they're just better like stars with who can just like like or when our land the whole orlando thing came out i was like great because because we all orlando i want to

say i feel comfortable talking about this because it is so obviously staged. Yes. Yes. Absolutely. It wasn't stolen off of his phone. No. Yeah. I mean, yeah. But yeah, the Orlando Bloom thing, it's when he's literally dick out. Like, his dick was literally on Katy Perry's back. It was so weird. It was so bizarre.

They're both so fucking weird. And also, this new Katy Perry song. Oh, right. We didn't talk about Katy Perry? It's trash. You guys, and she's going to perform it. At the Grammy tonight? Oh, God.

I mean, she'll be there. The first few notes, I was like, ooh, is this like a fun 80s song? There was like a piano synth thing going on. And then she drops the fucking ball. The first I heard it, I really didn't like it. And then yesterday, I did find myself listening to it more. It came on in an Uber. It came on in an Uber pool on my way home.

And I was like, ooh. And I hate myself. Abra last night said she loves it. She loves it. That's oh, well, okay. We'll take that into account. But I was in an Uber on the way home two nights ago and it came on. I was like, oh, this sounds catchy.

And then I realized it was Katy Perry chained to the rhythm. What a stupid title. And also chained it to the radiator. Yeah. Also, when you listen to the lyrics a little bit bit is it hinting that it's a little bit political yes so comfortable we're living in a bubble bubble yeah like yeah why would you talk about the bubble and also no i mean oh i mean i've quoted this on the pod in the past when she performed at hillary's benefit concert at radio city that favorite story she just because every

because audra day was there elton john was there um and they all sort of had moments in their sets where they just talked about how great hillary was and they made very cogent you know uh statements or whatever and then katie i guess decides she had to sort of get in there too and she just in the middle of her set stops and tries to sound political and fails catastrophically she goes don't you know when you have the blueprints that you have to know how to build the house you need to know where you're putting the bay windows and like that's the bubble right there so anyway um katie's your campaign messages um when you're building a house and you need blueprints and a bay windows a degree in architecture yeah and she's

like this is how we're going to get the black vote. Let's talk about bay windows. You have to talk about when you construct a house and get bay windows. My friend has this theory about Katy Perry is that she doesn't think, like whenever she's interviewed, what's your favorite song? It's never the song that it should be. You know, like her best selling song is E.T. Extraterrestrial featuring Kanye West. True story. Now part of that is because she had like you know like her best-selling song is et extraterrestrial featuring kanye west true story now part of that is because she had like five singles in a row and had the momentum yeah and that was like the fifth one yeah right yeah but she thinks wide awake is the katie perry

it's a good song i don't think it's the song i love wide awake i wish she'd come out with a song right henry your, did a piano version on Instagram today of The One That Got Away. Oh, I haven't seen it yet. I think that's Katy Perry. Teenage Dream is Katy Perry.

Wide Awake is like later Celine Dion. It's adult contemporary. It's overproduced. It's vaguely inspirational. Like Walking on Air, that song. I think Katy Perry wants that to be Katy Perry. And she'll do Roar.

She just didn't. But that's like the hook for her. What she needs to understand is that when she takes herself more seriously, we're out. We're out. We're out. We don't want that. We literally want you to shoot whipped cream out of your titties. And she's pretty funny, I will say.

Yeah. She's got a great sense of humor. And when she's tongue-in-cheek and kind of blown up and whatever, I mean, I do want to see her enter a stadium riding a huge lion. That, to me, is Katy Perry. Her first two songs were You're So Gay and You Don't Even like boys right and i kissed a girl and i liked it she had a point of view she had definitely she might have lost the narrative the and teenage dream the album like really heightened that and like blew it up all the way and even when she was taking herself seriously you could still laugh like but now it's like i think in her effort now to become more

adult and take herself more seriously she's become more washed out and look rise is a perfect example oh no who even remembers rise um it was the worst part of the dnc i was when she sang it oh yes i was like lost hillary the election lost hillary the election was rise by katie perry which was meant for the Brazilian Olympics. Now, look. They said no thank you. They said no thank you. No, literally.

They said no gracias. No gracias. I don't speak Portuguese, but I'm guessing it's just Spanish. You got the. No gracias. But I feel like you could say the same thing about Gaga. Maybe she was taking herself a little too seriously. But then when she came out with this video for John Wayne this week, it was a return

to form for this goofy, crazy. And, and, but then when she came out with this video for John Wayne this week, it was a return to form for like this goofy, crazy. I, and I said this last night to, uh, to Sam, uh, when we were out last night,

the reason I'm wearing a Gaga shirt right now, the reason I love her so much. And I will always stand for her and shares because there are goofiest pop stars. They are goofy, goofy, goofy. Like Madonna has never been like,

she's been, Madonna has been like cheeky tongue in cheek, but she's never been like a goofy, funny pop star. And meanwhile, Gaga and Cher just like... RuPaul says, your fear of looking stupid is holding you back. Yeah, 100%. Gaga and Cher do not have that fear. Yeah.

And John Wayne, for a second, Gaga will every now and then dip back into that very... I like A Million Reasons, though. I love it. I love A Million Reasons. And everyone throws shade at A Million Reasons, and second, like, Gagawool, every now and then dip back into that, you know, very... I like A Million Reasons, though. I love it. I love A Million Reasons. And everyone throws shade at A Million Reasons, and I'm like, why? I don't understand. I think it's so good. I think it also speaks volumes that it's one of the most covered songs of hers.

Yeah. Already? Already, yeah. Every time you walk into the duplex and Henry's playing, I literally walked in and there was someone singing A Million Reasons. Yeah. I was like, yeah, this is was like yeah this is a song this is a song if other people want to sing it i mean that's like you take the beatles as a great example of like awesome songwriting it's like the beatles song

the records probably in a thousand years like no one's going to be turning on hey jude but they're going to be aliens like going oh dude going, Hey, dude. Don't let me down. Ooh. Don't let me down. We're the voiceover agents listening. You better work. Yeah, I do Aliens and Bad British. I would say Brian. And like Portuguese with the... Portuguese with the...

Brian should put on a whole live show with Aliens singing Earthling covers. I love it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It'll be totally in the dark. And you'll just stand on stage and you'll just... Do your thing. I love it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It'll be totally in the dark and you'll just stand on stage and you'll just do your thing. I love it. Anyway,

I'm not a fan of this new Katy Perry. I am a huge fan of Lady Gaga returning to what I think is so special about her, which is her full-on wacko. Can I also say I don't like songs that describe a fun night rather than just being fun? But I like Last Friday Night does both. Right. Okay, I take But I like, but Last Friday Night does both.

Right. Okay, I take it back. I like Last Friday Night. I don't love Last Friday Night. I love California Girls, Teenage Dream. E.T. is a grower. It's pretty good. Deep Cut and from that album Hummingbird Heartbeat. There's a nature science

motif and Not Like the Movies. Not Like the Movies. Not Like the Movies. Famously, when Bowen and I were talking and he's singing Not Like the Movies and it became clear that he thought the song was about sex.

It didn't fit. It wasn't right. He thought it was about penetration. And I was like, I was like, wait, do you think this is about penetration and not someone putting a ring on a finger? And he was like, it's about penetration. It's about sex.

I was like, that's disgusting. And no, it's not. Well, there are things you save for someone you love. And look, maybe it works on both levels. He put it in me. He put it in. And I had to take it out. It was too big.

What I want to know is, Bowen, what movies are you watching? These are not like them. I will say this one thing. I'm watching the movies on superheroes.net. I turned around. We're recording here. And I turned around and was gagged. Netflix is on the TV in the background.

Can we gag for a second about santa clarita diet no santa clarita diet oh my god are you guys gag are you excited i haven't gotten a chance to watch it yet i heard it's trash disgusting i heard like it's so graphic and gory it's about cannibalism yeah i heard and i heard the first scene is literally her throwing up everywhere no i don't want and i and i can't i literally can't do it and i i was like why did you do that oh so with drew barrymore of course i want to watch it drew of course i want to watch it the hunk in it what's his name timothy oliphant he's so oh yeah yeah he's great and he's a great talk show uh guest really he's one of those guys that's just totally winging it

You know who crushed On the Tonight Show the other night? Claire Danes Okay, no We're not getting into that Crushed it on the Tonight Show and then did a sketch And I was like, where's SNL asking Claire Danes to host? Because this woman

Is a sketch Comedictress I'm a fan of the talk shows that just Claire Danes to host because this woman is a sketch comedic-tress. I'm a fan of the talk shows that just interview them. And like Conan, I love Colbert. I love just interview them. Sure. Matt

uttering the words, you know who crushed it on the Tonight Show? Claire Danes. And I just did not want to get into that any further. I'm a fan of the show and it sounds like you are maybe shilling for jimmy fallon right now that he's a fan of the show and i'm just gonna call it out right now that i think you're better than that thank you so much brian i agree i just want to say jimmy if you're listening um thank you for everything that you've done i think that you really bring a lot of personality and effervescence to

late night so thank you i mean the only one I truly watch regularly is Sam B. But it's weekly. And the rumor is that Conan's going weekly as well. Oh, yeah. I think that's not even a rumor. That's definitely happening. And I think it's going to make his show that much better. I think that's a good move.

Yeah. Great move. Because it is appointment television for me to watch Sam B. All right, guys. Let's move on to I Don't Think So, Honey. Yes. Okay. So I Don't Think So, Honey.

Brian has come in today with a list of topics now i don't want to hear them i want you to pick which one that you think is the best and now for our listeners who may be a little bit unfamiliar and been literally under a rock i don't think so honey is the corner center, the cornerstone of our show. It is... It's amazing. And it's where our guests and ourselves would take a minute to rail against something in culture that is really, you know,

making us wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night. And we have to fully take it down. You have to say, I don't think so, honey, as many times as possible while also being natural about it. And there's a lot to say, I don't think so, honey, as many times as possible while also being natural about it. And there's a lot in store for I don't think so, honey.

I think so. Yes. Let's say that. But let's just say that. And I think it's time. Are you ready, Brian? Bowen? I'm ready.

Would you like to go first, Bowen? I can go first. I mean, look, this is what always happens. I've noticed this. I always go first, keep it very measured and then and then Matt will you know just yes by all means telegraph what's about to happen okay well

maybe make it less fun for everyone listening okay um alright I think I'm just ready to I'm ready to go oh um alright I have one minute on the clock for Bowen Yang's I Don't Think So Honey and it starts now I Don't Think So, Honey and it starts. No! I Don't Think So, Honey, sweet green!

Honey, I am watching my macros right now because I am trying to eat more protein and carbs but trying to cut out fat. Not completely cut it out, but here are my macro breakdowns. 200 grams of carbs, 200, uh, sorry, 200 grams of protein, 240 grams of carbs, 60 grams of fat. Everything on your menu has

fat and you try to pass yourself off as a healthy salad restaurant? No, bitch. All your salads have so much fat. I'm talking 50 grams of fat. Can you believe that? I don't think so many sweet green... Trying to just calm the American public into walking into your fucking restored wood

bullshit salad restaurant spaces and think, oh, look at this rad Thai salad. Isn't that a fun play on words because we're fucking basic like that? I don't want your rad Thai. I don't want your spicy sapsi. I don't want your seasonal fucking falafel

salads. I don't think so, honey. I don't think so, honey. I don't want this bougie-ass salad experience undercutting my quest for nutritious food. Honey, I don't think so, honey. Sweet green, you are a farce, and I see right through you, bitch. That's one minute. Oh, my God. I think they're gonna close. I think they're gonna close.

I think that's one of my best. I think that you should be very proud. Did you prepare that? I did not prepare that, but it came to me within the last two minutes before we were about to go. It came to you, and you knew. Yes. That's what you had to do. I don't think so, honey, about. Yes, God. Yes, God. Amazing. I'm proud of you. I don't think so, honey, about. Yes, God. Yes, God. Alright. I'm proud of you. What do we think

about Sweetgreen? I've literally never been in my life. I have the app and I am okay with spending $17 on a salad there. That's the other thing. $17 on a salad and then $5 on an infused iced tea. No, thank you. I don't think so, honey. Alright. I gotta

say that was very effective. I have one. Okay, great. And I'm gonna put one minute on the clock for Matt Rogers. I don't think so, honey. All right. I gotta say that was very effective. I have one. Okay, great. And I'm gonna put one minute on the clock for Matt Rogers. I don't think so, honey. Time starts now. I don't think so, honey. The new version of Beauty and the Beast sung by Ariana Grande and John Legend.

Bitch, no. I don't think so, honey. With your fucking Casio keyboard sound effects in the back. You better hire real musicians. Disney, I don't think so, honey. You've done this before. You know what it is like to be on the top of your game. Why then? Why? Why do you give us

this bullshit, this garbage? Someone tell Ariana Grande to use her diction and crunch her fucking continent. You can't understand the words. You cannot come to me after Angela Lannbury slays the gig in the early 90s, and Peepo

and Celine Dion give you an iconic pop version and give me this garbage. Obviously Ariana Grande and John Legend were not in the same room when they recorded. The violins sound fake. The keyboard sounds fake. It sounds like a keyboard not a piano. Give us Disney magic. You're losing at Disney. You only care

about the bottom line. You need to do this right. I'm serious. It's a shame that you keep making these Disney remakes when you haven't figured it out. You're missing something. Fuck you. I don't think so, honey. I don't think so, honey. That's one minute. Wow, Matt. I think you nailed it. I mean, what happened to Peebo? Can we talk about Peebo? He nailed that. Well, let me... I just feel

like we're headed into a catastrophic thing with this Beauty and the Beast remake. If the dolls are any indication. God love her, but, you know. Two real faces. The Uncanny Valley. There's dolls.

I just, God love her, but Emma Watson, like, these snippets of her singing, they don't sound good. And it's like. She was supposed to be in La La Land. You know this, right? Oh, yeah. I heard about that. She was offered it originally.

Her and Miles Teller. Who was the other one? Oh, God. Someone else. Her and Miles Teller. I think the other one? Oh, God. Someone else. Her and Miles Teller. I think that was it. Can you imagine? What a...

I think they would have... I think that it's a good thing they didn't do that because I think they would have fucking hated each other. Oh, sure. And the movie would have been bad. I love Emma Watson, but... Like, you know what? There's no shame in just, I guess, I don't know, having someone else sing it.

This is a rollercoaster. Oh, yeah. Having Natalie Whittingham, you basically have to. I guess. I mean, or just do hire someone that can sing. They're out there. And La La Land is one thing. I've given Emma Stone a pass for not being the best singer in the world.

But this is music that we know. This is like, and you know, you can guarantee the movie is going to hit less hard when you hear these songs sung much worse than we're used to. It's such a shame because there really was so much promise, and Matt, you've been on a document on this podcast, you've been on a roller

coaster with this movie, honey. I'm excited about it. I was excited about it, but now I just can't ignore every sign being bad. Emma does not emma does not sound good she doesn't sound good they didn't make any effort to make it sound like it wasn't sung through a fucking refrigerator like and also i'm sorry but when when the new beauty and the beast remake the pop version sounds and and it's... And all of a sudden you hear like... And it sounds like an effect on a Casio keyboard.

I'm like, no way. Yeah, sure. Unless it's deliberately a throwback to that sound in the 90s. Did they go with Dan Stevens because he was affordable? Is he the guy playing the Beast? He's playing the Beast.

Is it because he has a British accent? He's definitely super handsome and talented. But I think, yeah, maybe he was a steal for them. He's Legion. He's the new FX show Legion. Oh, he's on that show. Disney only cares about the bottom line. You see it in all their products now.

It's so disappointing. You see it in their theme parks, which are now officially malls. You see it in all their products now it's so disappointing you see in their theme parks which are now officially malls you see it i mean they used they had this really kind of classic um little coffee shop on main street usa and magic kingdom it's now a starbucks that's real um yeah it's just whatever we'll sell you it sucks and it's also like you know they will do the live action fairy tales until they stop making money yeah there's like, let's only do the good ones. Doesn't matter how good they are. You know, expect The Little Mermaid. Maleficent made like the most.

And it was a bad movie. It was horrible. It made the most money. It made Angelina Jolie, it reaffirmed her A-list movie star status. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, I mean, it wasn't good. And it could have been good. Could have been great.

All right. It's Brian Foss' time on I Don't Think So Honey I cannot wait for this This is going to be and you got to make a decision Brian I think Brian's going to No matter what Brian's going to do great And not to put too much pressure But here we go Not to put too much pressure but we did just do Two of our best I Don't Think So Honey

I honestly was like wow that, that was really great. No, this is going to be great. And look, you better believe Matt and I are going to gasp. And this is also the chance for your I Don't Think So Honey to go down in history and potentially be animated. Oh, I want that. Okay, here we go. Let's see. By Lulu Krauss.

Here we go. Brian Foss, I Don't Think So Honey. Time starts now. All right. I Don't Think So Honey about adult birthdays. You're not a child, honey. Time starts now. Alright, I don't think so, honey, about adult birthdays. Okay? You're not a child, okay? Why do you deserve cake? If you are a good person, your friends will be nice to you

every single day. You shouldn't get this magic wand where it's your birthday, so if you say, I want to go to a ninja-themed sushi restaurant, you get to have all your friends show up and throw down $200 for your fucking birthday? How old are you? You should stop celebrating birthdays. You should have friends that treat you nice.

And guess what? If you're turning 40, I'm not going to fly to the fucking Curacao Dutch colony. And these are the same people, by the way, that put on a birthday crown and march around like everyone's suddenly their slave. They're the same people that bitch about destination weddings. It's like you have a destination wedding every single year and i have to like come up with some excuse to like not go and then there's sort of like there's that moment where they're like well i think i'm gonna open presents in front of people it's like i didn't know that we were bringing presents what do you mean my presence should be your presence fuck your birthday you're a grown-up oh that's one minute

wow oh my gosh. You know what? I think that people that take them birthday seriously and it's not a bit. I actually think they're crazy. It's insane. It's one thing. I mean, look, I'm be at this bar. Come on by.

Let's get drunk. I'm about that any night of the week. Hundo. Hundo P. But this thing where like I literally texted a friend like, let's go see John Wick. And then he bailed. But okay. Can we just point out just for context yesterday was brian foss's birthday yes keep going and oh my god happy

birthday thank you it's one of my least favorite days of the year i'm like beholden to acquaintances texting me saying happy birthday and you have to text back i feel like i was like this is not anyway so randomly this week i wanted to go see John Wick 2. Friend bailed. I saw him in person and he was like, why didn't you tell me it was your birthday? I would have gone. And that's Brian's point. What? I said, look, you had something going on. You had like you didn't bail because you don't want to see the movie or want to hang out. Right. Who is this? Carmen Christopher. Carmen. And he said, but look, I'm one of your boys if it was your birthday i

would have canceled my other thing to show up good carmen impression that's a great carmen yeah i'm one of your boys look i'm one of your boys we love carmen but i'm latino carmen though i but this is not just specific to carmen because i probably would have everyone feels that same way where they're like oh i the obligation factor there you go but it's but brian's saying if you're a good person then they're going to want to see john mccree too with you no matter what you know i guess i'm plan i guess i'm a great person then because i literally went on facebook and saw 50 people have written on brian faust as well happy birthday and i was like oh yeah i'll talk to him later yeah i mean it's not this is what brian is getting facebook has sort of ruined birthdays but that's a whole other story. I'm talking about the big performative aspects of adult birthdays.

Oh, I think it's the stupidest thing in the world. And when people get mad that you didn't go out of their way for their birthday, it's like, you gotta be fucking kidding me. And there's a thing that millennial girls do, and I don't want to say millennial like a dirty word. Or gendering girls. They post pictures of their friend on their birthday to prove that they are close to them. And I feel like that is a... That is not exclusive to millennial girls. No.

That's a millennial gay thing too. Yes. It is a power move because you're afraid of this friendship. Yeah. Like the subtext is like the birthday power. Now, great. I love celebrating people i you know famously love langan kingsley's 51 gay people after orlando she did not continue

langan if you're never made the list never made the list either she got through what three people yeah um it was like josh aaron Brandon. Yeah. Her gaze. You have 40-something more people to celebrate. Like, she's got a long way to go. I'm all about celebrating people. And we fortunately are in an industry where we can always, like, say, I love your video. That was a great song. There's work to refer to.

Your new painting is amazing. And we have this opportunity. And I realize regulars don't. Normies. And so maybe birthdays occupy that space but it has turned into like a pageant that is like it's like you don't get a bar mitzvah you get the thing of like well it's my birthday weekend or it's my birthday week it's my birthday month i had someone that's like it's my birthday month surprise me it's my birthday month oh i

name name name names bitch no you don't have to but to. No, it is a very basic thing to do. I will say this, the posting the photos and like the tributes. Maybe I went too far with that. No, I don't think, I think there's, there's a grain of,

there's definitely a grain of truth to that. But like when Matt, when, when Matt, when it's Matt's birthday, you best believe I will post. I always go in for Bowen's birthday and Sudi's birthday. Well,

here's the thing. I will go in for my people. You're best friends. You have pictures of each other. And sometimes you're like, I don't know what to put on Instagram. And so when the birthday pops up, you're like, oh, now I have something fun to put. Yes. Celebratory.

There you go. It's the things that feel like just obligation. I had a friend where I saw him only at the only time we hung out was at his birthday. And on the third time, I was like,'t think we're we're not friends i'm only seeing you once a year and also the same you know that fucking bar hot bird everyone has their birthday out because there's like a fire pit in the backyard and it's in the part of brooklyn that no one can say what neighborhood it is yeah yeah and everyone's like birthday at hot bird i was like if i have to go to hot bird one more time to pay my respects to the birthday king, I will kill myself.

I do not think so. I don't think so, honey. This is real. This is a deep one. My birthday is coming up and I never know where to have it to. It puts the onus on you to figure out what's central for everyone. What are you doing for your birthday, Matt? What are you doing for your birthday?

Who are you doing for your birthday who's gonna invite i and literally i panicked last year because a few years before i had had my birthday at union hall and it was during the week and so it wasn't crowded at all and then last year my birthday fell on a saturday and i was like we're going to union hall and it was so crowded and i was the first to show up and i was the first person i was the only person there for that first half hour half hour and i'm like i don't even really like being here when it's this crowded and it's this crowd yeah i'm here by myself i wouldn't come i had to fucking travel for it again if you turn 30 if you have like a an event and you want to like make it fun for the people coming and sure plan a thing sure i'm gonna have it at my house this year also i will say this i realized this on my most recent birthday. Out in Suffolk County? Yeah, my parents' house. My most recent

birthday, I realized it was lovely, lovely, great people came. It was so nice to see everybody, but then I also felt like I didn't have enough actual face time with any one person. Yeah, you can't. You never can. You're making the rounds.

If it's your birthday, you're making the rounds and it's truly not... It can be better. There's got to be something better. So anyway, you know what? You get stuck talking to a friend from a different group. Right. And you're like, so, how do you know Bowen? Yeah.

Okay, NYU, cool. And then there's always that person that shows up and loves you for showing up. But that person that shows up and it's just like, oh, no. Am I going to have to like stop babysit this person a little bit because like i can tell they don't know anybody yeah and then i have a few friends who love them they like want to rage yeah they're like it's your birthday i'm buying you drinks and it's like i I have a drink. I'll have the right amount of drinks. Yeah. I've never had trouble getting drunk.

But it's the same. We're like, no, we're going to make a fool out of you. There's this extra attention. Everyone has their own version of it. But it is, I think it's childish. I think I nailed it two years ago when I just invited like seven people to go out to dinner. That's cool. We went to Tall Day that one time.

Oh, that was great. I was there. Yeah, it was just fun. That was fun. Is Tall Day, can I ask, an expensive restaurant? You know, it airs on the side of like a little bit nicer. I wouldn't say it's expensive. It's not a fancy restaurant.

It's like family style. I went to a friend's birthday. Get this. Uh-oh. Getting it. That had like assigned seating. No, no. See, that's unacceptable.

I know. this uh-oh getting it had like assigned seating no no see that's i know unacceptable and i was put at like the side of the table without the people i knew just don't make it a fucking wedding and also right but at a brunch place on the upper west side and i wanted to climb up the wall this is the thing with weddings too though don't make it hard for people socially like like i get that it's about you like if you want to make your birthday about you, sure, but don't make it weird for other people. I hate the assigned seating thing. I went to a friend's wedding

at the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens this past year and was definitely sat put at the boring couples table and I knew it. And guess what? I didn't sit there. What did you do? Pulled up a chair to the fun singles table. Brian! I'm no dummy. I see what sit there. What did you do? What did you sit? Pulled up a chair to the fun singles table. Brian. I'm your dummy.

I'm like, I see what you did. I love it. You got to spread people around. But I was like, it's a party. This is supposed to be a party. Yes. You know what? I guess that's what it is.

If you're going to ask science, at least put me with the fun people. And every wedding I've been to, they put me with the fun people. So thank you to all the weddings of 2016. Every table you're at becomes the fun table. Girl, that's a little bit true um all right you guys and whoa what a good i don't think so funny because it promoted a conversation yes that was a true seedling that was a master what a culturista true culturista and what a lost culturistas episode absolutely guys brian what day is ding dong ding dong's uh february 24th february 24th it's oscars

weekend friday 7 30 so ding dong i are co-hosting a pre pre-october oscars party don menzel that's a sexy boy okay i've heard i've heard i can't tell by his pictures but I'll keep looking and see if it finally so many sexy little straight boys okay but you know we'll name names off the air you know we do there's more of them their chances are higher you know what you're right you're right you're right you're right you're right you're right we're not thinking about all the

unsexy straight people sure we're not thinking about you thinking about you we don't think about you boys this is this has been so sure we're not thinking about you we're not thinking about you we don't think about you boys um uh this is this has been so great brian thank you so much we love you so much yes see you matt at ding dong i will see you at ding dong and we'll see brian soon and you know what for everyone listening at home there's a big announcement coming oh where we can announce it just yet that's all i'm gonna say but we'll announce something but there's a big announcement coming. Oh, we can announce it just yet? And that's all I'm going to say. But we'll announce something big. But there's a big announcement coming.

Ooh. Yeah. Oh my God, Brian. Where can people find you online? Our producer, Alex, just freaked out a little bit. I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We just gave him such a heart attack.

But no, they didn't say anything. But I'm not saying what the announcement is. I'm just saying it's coming. I'm just saying it's coming. Which, in a way, is ruining the announcement. Who knows? No, it's not. You'll be gagged when you hear.

You can find me on Instagram. Brian Fostagram, Snapchat. What a good name. It's Brian Fossnap. Twitter is Brian underscore Foss. Facebook, sure. You can follow me on Facebook, too, if you want. Wow, do it. I recommend it.

I love social media. It's fun. Yeah, it's great. Brian, we love you. We love you. This has been Bowen Yang. This has been Matt Rogers you know what have a great day

have a wonderful day enjoy the Grammys bye forever dog this has been a forever dog production executive produced by Joe Cilio Alex Ramsey and Brett Bohm for more podcasts, please visit foreverdogproductions.com.

I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind-the-scenes stories, crazy details, We'll see you next time. What kind of dudes are these dudes? We're going to find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez

was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home, and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami? Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom.

Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had.

We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. I was a desperate delusional dreamer. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. I'm Cheryl Swoops. And I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women. And T and I have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby,

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