Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - "Debates with This Bish" (w/ Dylan Marron)

Episode Date: May 30, 2018

TED Talk's own "old white lady running errands," Dylan Marron, finally RETURNS to the podcast! Dylan, modern voice of reason, shares social-media wisdom with Matt and Bowen and talks about how not being an expert in everything...is OK! Dylan also talks about the making of his incredible hit podcast "Conversations with People Who Hate Me." Other topics include the RBG documentary, Mr. Rogers, nicknames, and "Conversations with A Dumbass Who Stupid" - which is an LC original and NOT something Dylan said about anyone online. With a "Voice Mem-Oh, You Bitch" from the incomparable Jo Firestone. ---LAS CULTURISTAS HAS A PATREON! For $5/month, you get exclusive access to WEEKLY Patreon-ONLY Las Culturistas content!!https://www.patreon.com/lasculturistasSUBSCRIBE ON APPLE PODCASTS TODAY!CONNECT W/ LAS CULTURISTAS ON FACEBOOK & TWITTER for the best in "I Don't Think So, Honey" action, updates on live shows, conversations with the Las Culturistas community, and behind-the scenes photos/videos:www.facebook.com/lasculturistastwitter.com/lasculturistasLAS CULTURISTAS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASTforeverdogpodcasts.com/las-culturistas  Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Wow. Bowen, look over there. Wow, is that culture? Yes. Oh, my goodness. Wow. Bowen, look over there. Wow. Is that culture? Yes. Oh, my goodness. Wow. Las Culturistas. Ding dong.

Las Culturistas calling. And I guess we should update everyone. Okay. We've heard the call. We've read the online comments. We've seen your tweets. And, you know, actually, HPJ, is it possible to hear from you? How is it going with replacing me as a co-host

of this podcast? Good? Never. Now, is that because of the contract that we're in that we can't get me? Because, you know, some of the commenters, they're done with me. They think the show will be better without me. First of all, no one's explicitly said that. People, I had one,

there was one commenter who said that he had to stop listening to the show because of me and so i feel like you know what we've always engaged and so i should go i think you're letting the online comments turn those negative comments turn into negative feelings all right well i guess like i just care a lot about the listeners and i i want them to come first and so if I should go, but unfortunately I hear we're in a contract and I have to host the show. So yeah, guys, we're sort of bound to this contract. Matt sort of, you know, has to, or both of us.

Unfortunately, I have to keep hosting. We have to keep hosting despite your feelings about us. But this is just to say we're giving too much acknowledgement to the people who have problems with either of us and we shouldn't do that. And you know what? First of all, this is all a joke. It's all a joke i we're very happy for all the love it's just that you know sometimes people they they have an online comment and it can be a little nasty and that's why we have our friend joining us today well that's not really why that's not why i mean we we've been getting

we've been like he because he claims that he's been campaigning to be a return guest on the show for months and months. He's been top of mind for me. And you can vouch for this bitch. I've said, we need to get Dylan back on. We need to get Dylan back on. And finally, and then the stars aligned and here he is. And it's because there are definitely,

there's a moment that's happening right now. There's a groundswell. Not that we wouldn't support and expose this bitch, even if there wasn't a moment. No, let me tell you something. If he had nothing going on, I would say, would say come on you know we'll see what happens right but the thing is he has he always has something going on that's the thing with dylan it's so frustrating he always has some ball in the air or two or five and to look so cute while he does it too and to have and we'll talk about his and to have such an incredible charismatic aesthetic.

Rich woman running errands. Personality. Yes. Of course his, his, his whole aesthetic vibe is in his own words, rich white woman running errands. Absolutely.

Well, let's go through the credits. You keep hearing us say Dylan, Dylan, but which Dylan? There are of course several in the world. Yes. So of course we are talking about the Webby award winning host of the podcast

Conversations with People Who Hate Me. You've heard us do ads for it. Oh yes. Yes. Cross promotion has in fact happened. There you go. Also and this is the real gag because how many people can say they have a fucking TED talk? Our guest can. Our guest. If you go on to TED

dot com you will find turning negative online comments into positive offline conversation with our guest the incredible the resplendent the charismatic the debonair the chiseled the well-dressed keep going girl the stunning the sexually appealing the amazing the crucial the important the married dylan maron i decided that you were married because then i make you sound very appealing and then you know the wolves will hunt the wolves will hunt. The wolves will hunt. I never have felt hunted, to be honest. Really? Well, I feel like individually, I feel like people, but I actually feel that people are more wolves around me when they know that I have a husband.

Oh. It's just very, no, no, no, but it's not in a dirty thing. It's almost like I've known what it's like to feel like totally invisible in the gay world and then having a significant other they're sometimes like oh this is more interesting now yeah they get bolder when they know they can't have oh my god wait a minute i don't think that tracks you're married honey i'm married that is true you didn't you didn't have the big one the whole idea of going out there yeah no

I'm saying it's not that I wanted it I know exactly it's just that I love when Bowen Yang pokes a hole in the logic yeah you poked a hole

guys we're here to tear Dylan down yeah tear me down drag me to filth drag you to filth and clap back and read her and cancel me

quote quote cancel Donovan Gawad faggot Donovan no Govan. Yeah. Gawad faggot. Donovan. No. Gawad fag. Gawad fag.

I'm sorry. I had an extra syllable. With about six, seven Gs. Right, right, right. Seven Gs. Now, of course, we're pulling a reference from the TED Talk. Yes. A reference from the TED.

Can we talk about the instant standing ovation? Yeah. What was that? Did your heart explode out of your chest? What was that feeling? your heart explode out of your chest? What was that feeling? It was like really surreal. I wanted to like be present for that moment. You know what I mean? Like I didn't want to like kind of fake a demure like, oh, no me. You know, I'd be like, I wanted to be like, whoa, thank you. This is so cool. So I forced myself in that moment to just stand there

and look at them and say thank you with my eyes. And then I also said thank you with my voice. Oh, okay. You gotta do both. You have to do both. Rule number seven of culture. You gotta say thank you with your eyes and with your voice. Yes, yes, yes.

I don't think there was a drop of like saccharine anything in that. And, and in that entire talk, it was just you claiming that space and occupying that and just telling what you were saying, what you were there to say. And I think it's, I've watched it several times now and it's truly like,

as I paid you to do, as you paid me to do. This is a sponsored thing. This is all sponsored. It is a time. It is a fucking timene Daly masterclass. I say Tyne Daly because she started a masterclass on the West End. Oh, absolutely.

And on the Broadway. And on the Broadway. But that's great that you said West End first. Thank you so much. I feel, you know what I feel really good about is that I, and I've talked to you guys about this both individually off mic, but let's talk about it okay let's bring it to the mic i feel like i straddle genre worlds which is to say i really don't feel like i squarely or fully fit in to the comedy world even though you've thrived in that space like in like you and

joe have like proven yourselves out in that space oh you mean like with with richfield well and just in general like like we've done shows together but i i cut you off no no i i i do feel like i've done successful things in the comedy world but i i feel often like when i do a show with stand-ups and then i try and do something of my like when i fully do myself it pays off but whenever i try to like be someone who isn't me do you know what i mean when you're like let me try something out maybe i am a stand-up you know it's like no sister you're not i constantly have that do you feel that no and we literally have talked about this off mic but like yeah i mean it's it's what a weird sort of like existential thing to

occupy well i would say remember that those boxes are just in our head right you know what i mean like you know there's a lot of stand-ups out there who won't respect you as a stand-up unless you mike mike mike mike mike unless you camp in that world and that's very much like if they feel that way and justified feeling that way in their community that's great and also like i understand the respect of like the work oh totally you know what i mean and same thing with sort of like you know i'm from the sketch world so when someone comes up in the sketch it appears in the sketch world and you know it's it's not exactly like as academic or as classical as some of one else's education like that does show up a little bit but

here's the fucking deal babe good is good and when you have something really important and unique and fun to say that comes through anyway so i think it's actually a gift to be able to say you know i actually don't fit into any of these boxes i am my own thing and that's why i'm interesting i think that's what keeps people coming to you because i hear what you're saying about you know you got one foot sort of in this like online like social justice world of like you know it's almost like educational yeah and then in other worlds in the comedy world and you have talked to me about sort of like the question of what you want yeah and the question of what you are becoming. And that's something I think that everyone deals with. And you feel that too?

Absolutely. Absolutely. I mean, this is interesting. I don't think we ever talked about this, but you know, this podcast, yeah.

The success of it is a total surprise to me, to me and to you, to HPJ. And well, not to HPJ. I think she knew, but, but you know what I mean?

And I think you were starting out in one direction. I was kind of starting out in another. But I was sketch, characters, UCB, down. I wanted to be an actor. I wanted to be a writer. I still do. I still am. Yeah.

But this sort of success as a personality, that's different. And I sometimes think you can't help what you're becoming or what you're good at or what you're meant to do. And I think you do have to respond to like what people are responding to that you do. Yes. Do you know what I mean? Like I, but, and I appreciate all those things you said about like, I do like the comedy world,

specifically like the people I've met in it. Like, I feel like I just love watching people do their thing. But I always felt like some of my stuff is like so serious. Like many episodes of conversations with people who hate me don't have a single joke or laugh at all. You know what I mean? But that's the treatment. Totally, totally.

And I like kind of gravitating towards that. I like gravitating towards I think think just like yeah i i think i know what i want to do but i i get stressed sometimes when it's about fitting it into a box which i think realistically we have to talk about that we have to do in our world right right you know you you have to people will put you into boxes and especially when you're like you know talking about new projects yeah they always do i also feel like, and tell me if you disagree, but it would be almost impossible to be as good at everything

and have every answer and have every skill all the time. And sometimes it feels like, and I really wanted to talk to you about this, because after we had Francesca on the show last week, Ms. Francesca Ramsey, and get that book, well, that escalated quickly because it's out right now. Yes, ma'am. But in the book,

she talks about how she felt almost put on the spot in the beginning when she was first thrust into the spotlight to have all the answers. And I would think someone in your position

who really started out pretty much doing comedy and then you found something else and found that you were really good at something else. Does that feel kind of, people look at you and they think, well, he is the smart figure and he's intelligent. He has all the answers. I was thinking about this so recently,

but in a different context, which is that when you are making social justice content, when you were talking about social justice, you are expected to be the expert on everything. Or else they attack you. Yes. And then also, and then the really dangerous thing is when you are expected to always say something on Twitter, on social media about anything that has happened, and your silence is taken as um you know affirmation right or or a tacit endorsement of this thing that happened and it's like that is so problematic because i think what i've actually tried to do more recently because i definitely i i think i've found

a lot of success in fact in in making videos like the the unboxing series i did yeah i was taking a new topic every single week and i think you know i'm not you know bad mouthing that i'm very proud of that i did that and it's over now right but um i i through research i tried to be a momentary and temporary expert on everything yeah yeah and right. And that's impossible because when we try and do these things, as everyone now thinks that they're all experts on everything political just because they watch Maddow, you know,

like me, me, me. Yeah, I was gonna say a case in point. I'm calling myself out in this too. I have so regurgitated talking points because I'm like, well, I heard this thing, but I'm gonna now repeat it as if I've known this all along. I studied this. My thesis was on this in college. And it's like, no, bitch. No, I taught that for myself super early on, but no. No, but I just think like what I want to instill in people is like, just focus on the thing that

you really know much about. And you actually, it is impossible to know in depth much about everything, right? Focus on the one thing. I think that's like, and that's why I like the podcast now. Like, I think what I'm getting really good at and what I'm choosing to focus on, I don't want to say whether I'm getting good or bad because that's up to the listeners. What I feel that I'm getting good at is communicating with people who think really differently from me. And that can, I don't have to then also weigh in on Russia.

Do you know what I mean? In fact, I think it is so powerful to acknowledge what you don't know. Do you know what I mean? Yes, absolutely. It's important that there's a conversation about that too and i think that that's something that's really sort of prevalent in your talk and also because you do say stuff like you know empathy is not endorsement um this what you're doing is not a call to social activism per se it's all just it's about communication yeah and i do believe

that communication is everything and sometimes that doesn't mean just a communication with other people, whether they're different from you or not. But sometimes a communication just with yourself that's just like, okay, I'm self-aware enough right now in this moment to understand that I need to step back. And I might not be able to weigh in right now. It's a very kind of interesting phase of this discussion that we're in publicly. Yeah, totally. Go ahead, no, you go. I was just gonna say,

also think about the optics of the tools that we have in terms of building out internet content, meaning from the nascent stages of vlogging, of YouTubing, of podcasting too. It's like so much about like, hear my opinion on this thing. And I think, and that is not to knock the internet, that is not to knock content.

We have met incredible voices through these new mediums. We have, I think the three of us at this table, the four of us in this room have been able to crack through with these new tools. Is that fair to say? Yeah, absolutely. And, but I think, think about it, like even a vlog itself. And again, love vlogs.

In fact, I watch many of them, but it's like, it is a direct address to the camera. The internet did not invent that. That's been around forever. But there's not necessarily a, like a listening element in that it's it's let me let me talk at at you you know um want to be super clear i'm not knocking no no no yeah is that that's but i think what you're the reason you bring that up is because um it just seems sort of like uh intrinsically explained but i think what you're doing is through the podcast, you're showing people how to communicate with people who think differently than them. And that sort of in turn,

it's like a Mobius strip manifold thing where it's like that loops back in on itself in this way where it's like, people don't have to confront you in this way that like, you know, feels entitled with like, that entitles them to your knowledge, like, where they're just like, well, Dylan, why don't you know, like, why aren't you speaking on this thing? And then that, you can just sort of point to the podcast as this thing of being like,

well, I don't have to have all the answers. You just gain this understanding by just talking to people like we are right now. And I just want to make sure that everyone knows that we're talking about the podcast Conversations with People Who Hate Me, in which Dylan will call up somebody who has posted a hateful or negative

or sort of super highly insensitive, hurtful comment about him or his work or a guest, et cetera. And they will have a conversation wherein Dylan asks why they posted that thing. And through those conversations, often very meaningful lessons are learned. And so that's what the podcast is. Yes.

Just wanted to make sure that everyone knows in case you're living under a rock in the earth out there. Yes, yes. House of Conversations. That's the drag ball. House of Conversations. Yeah. So yeah's that's a podcast we're talking about just to quickly um the the the thing about like the new tools for the internet is like the great thing that the internet has done is that it gives so

many new people a microphone but i think what we forgot in the shipment of a microphone is that everyone also needs like a receiver to listen to people. Do you know what I mean? Gag for the metaphor. Gag for the metaphor, for the extended metaphor. It's actually rule of culture number 50. You need to give and receive. Yes.

Okay. In every medium. Yes, it's in every medium. And then Matt, my love, my queen, to what you were saying. So, yeah, the podcast is about talking to people. And it's so funny because all of my guests, when I'm speaking one-on-one to people who have said something negative, they're like, okay, so what are we going to debate about? And I stop them right there and I'm like, babe, it's not a debate. But isn't that so telling? telling that the thing even even my because now that i moderate conversations between people and

and then the people who have sent them hateful messages hateful or negative messages um even my in-studio guests were like so it's a debate show and it's so interesting that the only uh the closest word we have to conversation across divide is debate like that's all we can think of we think like tear each other down knock like conversation is is like kind of out of the lexicon because like it's about owning someone and shutting down and clapping back and i feel like that is it's unfortunate because it's such a burp um burper burper it was really adorable haha he burped off mic um or maybe i didn't maybe they're gonna be burp truthers oh truthers out there conversations with burp truthers yes baby that's my next podcast thank you thank you i'll sell you sell you the

ip um but i um what was i saying like the of, like the conversation is out of the left. But that's like, that's like all we have. I mean, here's a question for you guys. In your own separate families, because our, I don't know that there's much disagreement in our community that we exist in professionally together, right? I mean, there is, of course, disagreement. Well, on Drag Race. On Drag Race.

Well, about Drag Race. Yes, yes, Drag Race me and Joe Kim Booster rarely agree but that's the only real disagreement in the gay community between he and I on Drag Race that's the only one ever the gay community is oddly so unified except for this one weird glitch it's weird like he and I

we just can't see eye to eye on any contestant the only two gay people who have ever disagreed in pot I'm sorry community I'm sorry community but we're tearing from within

Joel Kim Booster tearing from within rule of culture number whatever. His next album. Tearing from within. Tearing from within. I love. I love.

You're asking about family? I was just wondering, do you guys have difficult... Well, let me ask more pointedly. You were talking about the Las Colteras's commenters. Yeah. Do you read them uh yes um so and are you cool to talk about this yeah i'm totally great to talk about this and actually it's very i was we were having a conversation about this and it's so funny that

you're coming in now because over the past six months like this sort of engagement has changed a little bit where now it feels like, and I'm so thankful and grateful to everyone engaging. And it's so nice. And the vast, I'm talking 98% of the comments are so positive and glowing. And we encourage you to make them. We love when Las Culturistas listeners comment

and exchange thoughts about the show and everything. Positively, negatively, neutrally, whatever. But the thing is, when someone comes out and says something like Matt Rogers is a problematic bully who never lets anyone speak on the show,

not Bowen, never mind the guest, and he had to stop listening because I can't let go of my toxic masculinity from Long Island, it's like I remember the whole thing. And I can't let go of my toxic masculinity from Long Island. It's like I remember the whole thing. And I can't... That's all that stands out. That's all you remember. And this is my very

first sort... And then, you know, I'll just go ahead and say it. Bowen was speaking truth to something that he has experienced. So I left an opening for people to say some rude things. We'll say what it was. So I left an opening for people to say some rude things. We'll say what it was. So I tweeted

yesterday even. I said, I posted this gif of Lisa Ling just a gif of her saying, oh wow. And then the tweet was me when a white gay follows at Matt Rogers though and at Lost Culture Eastus but not me. Just as like

a little like sly wink that really carried no weight at all whatsoever. But it is a comment on the fact that like there is a lot of, you know,

It was an observation of like, it just sort of like, you know, whatever. I mean, look at the followings of the drag queens. The disparity

and same with Queer Eye. Exactly. We talk about that all the time. And so, you know, so I brought that up. And then it left an opening for a lot of people to say, well, I don't follow him anyway.

Well, ugh. Who needs him? Who needs him? So he sucks. He's bad. Not as a platform to be like, let's talk about race. Right, right, right. It's like, no, let's drag Matt Rogers.

And it didn't feel good because this is something that bowen and i have conversations with where i understand the sort of i absolutely understand and and completely think it's ridiculous that that there's this you know sort of like this kind of like when white gays allow themselves to be as capital w capital g white gay as they can it's really gross and it's disgusting and i don't like it and i don't like to be emblematic of it you know what i mean like hearing the word and you know i'll just be very honest with you like the word that freaked me out the most about that negative comment was problematic and he said some white people things is what the comment said and i was like oh my god because that freaks me the fuck out and it it speaks to um the sort of thing that happens when i think you become a more public

voice is you know there's a lot of scrutiny and uh like i said the success of the podcast is a total surprise to me and so there is and that's i i think is my fascination with you know needing to have the answers and needing to be able to say the right thing at all times because what I'm sort of experiencing and we actually sat for an interview that's about queer voices and comedy and queer perspective and comedy and it was the first time

I think we really sat for an interview and I found myself like really thinking super fucking hard about what I was saying and like not that you shouldn't think hard, but I'm wondering if like it's, it got in the way of what authentically I wanted to say, or if I'm speaking insanely because I,

I am not thinking clearly. And it's just something that like, well, you just can't have, I, I love social media. I, I depend on social media for work,

but like you can't have nuanced conversations on social media. You can. And that's, social media for work. But like, you can't have nuanced conversations on social media. Yeah, you can. And that's, that's the thing. So like, if this person, I don't know that this person would actually necessarily say that to your face, which is literally all thing. But what I'm saying is like, maybe you'd have a really fascinating conversation. It's just that's not a conversation starter right you know what i mean and if that person i don't know if that person was a close friend of course you'd you'd talk to them about it and and this is kind of what's frustrating about like clapbacks on social media it's like the snarkier you are and dangerously for our world or you know the world that uh you guys

definitely occupy is like the the funnier it is like you know that you know that um cartoon that's floating around like um uh it's a it's it's it's a new yorker style cartoon and the father is comforting his son and he says son if you don't have anything nice to say make sure it's devastating do you know what i mean like um uh make sure it's something and devastating and it's like that that's what social media is. It's like, if you say something mean and you're not funny about it, it's awful. But if you say something mean and it's funny, it's like, well, they got him there. And it's like, oh, that still sucks.

You can also be hilarious and just not be an asshole. And I also just want to make very clear. It was a few comments and it was a conversation that he and I had over something that was small. And so I would be insane to think that like I'm actually facing adversity right now. You know what I mean? Your mind does that. Your mind, my mind does this all the time. I'm sure yours does too.

Never, no, no, no. Never, no. Bowen is very balanced. Very stoic, very balanced very stoic so this is just really for you i'm not in therapy absolutely no no no no i love my therapist i love my therapist um well but it's it's like it's the same thing it's also the same thing in negative feedback in life yes like when if five people can say like, wow Matt, you were incredible up there. And then one

person is like, I didn't love it that much. You remember that and only that? I suck. I'm a trash monster and I'm going to go be the queen of the trash monsters. Dylan's putting some nice head bobs in there. Yeah, there's head bobs, babe. But it is very true.

I think a better conversation is just like the boldness that people feel when they are detached from the comment and how it affects someone else. Well, that's the thing. And you were saying how that comment represented whatever unearned way people feel like they can approach you. I think it's going back to what Dylan's saying is that that comment represents how there's no, there's just

no tenor to any conversation period. There's no conversation period. It's just this culture of, well, I'm gonna fucking own you with this barrel of comment. And it's, you know, it's just not, I mean, where do you go? There's nowhere to start except to go back and like recede into, okay, well, let's actually

have a conversation. Yeah. Which is what the podcast is about. Let's actually talk about it. And I'm, I was thinking about this all day leading up to tonight. Because we talked to Francesca last week and she has this whole great part in her book where she talks about. Calling in versus calling out.

Well, calling in versus calling out. And that's, I mean, we can talk about that. But then she, she has these anecdotes about the times when she has like given her, you know, quote unquote haters the benefit of the doubt. And just like, you know, tried to open up conversations with them and tried to let them in. And, you know, she's, she's run into like this troll online at conferences who like was very grovelly and apologized to her and was like, please forgive me. I, you know, you seem great. I didn't mean to, you know, say these uncouth things about you and she was like okay fine well like you know i'll i'll forgive you i'll give you a second chance but then it always ended up being

then he was like we're best friends etc etc wow everything's great and she was like hold on now he gets like a free pass for everything and now and now he's using me as a prop to you know absolve him of all this stuff. And it ends up getting worse. Well, I think just in the same way that like... Well, no, go, go, go. Well, the question, like the actual core of what I'm trying to ask is like, is there a danger in even just initiating that conversation in the first place? Like about seeing through some hateful thing

and just trying to start from some common ground, but then like it also, but it just making the situation worse. I mean, but there are many episodes in the podcast where there's no resolution. You guys just- Yeah, well, that's what I say. It's like not necessarily a common ground podcast.

Sometimes the only common ground is that we're like on the phone at the same time. Wow, imagine that. Yeah, yeah, like we're like on the phone at the same time. Wow. Imagine that. Yeah, yeah. Like we're adhering to the same clock and we have agreed to be on the phone together. Wow. The Real Housewives of New York City are back for another bite of the Big Apple. Look who it is.

Joined by elite new friends. Rebecca Minkoff. Have you ever heard of her? But things could change in a New York Minute. She had this wild night and ended up getting pregnant by some other guy. What? You told her? Not today, Satan. Not today.

The Real Housewives of New York City. All new Tuesdays at 9 on Bravo or stream it on City TV+. TV Plus. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. We talk about guilt, shame, body image, and huge life transformations. I was a desperate, delusional dreamer, and the desperate part got me in a lot of trouble. I encourage delusional dreamers.

Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate, delusional dreamer. I just had such an anger. I was just so mad at life. Everything that wasn't right was everybody's fault but mine. I had such a victim mentality. I took zero accountability for anything in my life. I was the kid that if you asked what happened,

I immediately started with everything but me. It took years for me to break that, like years of work. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, a five-year-old boy floated alone in the ocean. He had lost his mother trying to reach Florida from Cuba. He looked like a little angel. I mean,

he looked so fresh. And his name, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere. Elian Gonzalez. Elian Gonzalez. At the heart of the story is a young boy and the question of who he belongs with. His father in Cuba. Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. At the heart of it all is still this painful family separation. Something that as a Cuban, I know all too well.

Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, as part of the My Cultura podcast network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. Guess what, folks? We're teammates again.

And we're going to welcome you guys all to Dudes on Dudes. I'm a dude, you're a dude, and Dudes on Dudes is our brand new show. We're going to highlight players, peers, guys that we played against, legends from the past, and we're just going to sit here and talk about them. And we'll get into the types of dudes. What kind of types of dudes are there, Gronk? We got studs, wizards. We got freaks.

Or dudes dude. We got dogs. Dogs. We'll break down their games. We'll share some insider stories and determine what kind of dude each of these dudes are. Is Randy Moss a stud or a freak? Is Tom Brady a dog or a dude's dude? We're going to find out, Jules.

New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And that we've consented to recording. But to that, I mean, I can only speak to my experiences. But you can only be really speaking to people who earn your time. And it's pretty self-selective in my podcast, because when you get to the point where people are like, yeah, I'll be on the phone with you. Yes, I'm cool that we're recording. Yes, I'll be on the phone with you. Yes, I'm cool that we're recording. Yes, I'm going to be vulnerable with you about me and who I am so that you can be

vulnerable with you and who you are. That passes through so many filters. That passes through so many filters. So like, I'm not getting people who ever feel abusive. I'm still in touch with almost all of my guests. Wow. I was going to ask you that. Yeah, because, yeah. I have a question. So basically, you know, I was just thinking, I'm sitting here thinking like this really is applicable to I think everyone that's on social media because we are all having exchanges. We're all exchanging ideas and sometimes those things start sort of negatively or they go awry based on like a misunderstanding and it can almost feel like this is like an impossible mountain to climb yeah so i would ask you or my question for you is what is your goal with the podcast like what do you want the podcast to achieve because it can almost feel sometimes like god because of the nature of social media yeah how are we going to get over this how are we going to start getting to a place where universally we don't this doesn't happen anymore

and maybe that's not literally not achievable so it's not the goal but what is the goal like what do you get out of it what do you want the listeners to get out of it in general so when we get those comments on social media it can feel so scary. Like the walls feel, for me, the walls feel like they're just closing in on me, right? Similar to you, similar to you. I'm like, I'm only going to focus on the negative, never the positive. The calls themselves feel amazing to me. I feel like the world is an amazing place. Everything is possible. Look at us. No one's going to change their mind in the course of an hour-long phone call. No one.

Radically, right? You can't undo decades of the way people think. But it's a start, right? So I see the podcast. My goal with the podcast is this is just a seed. I am carving out a space where there can be nuanced conversations that come from spaces on the internet. But it's also a podcast. So it depends on the internet. So it is a space on the internet as

well. And I also think, and I've kind of like, I'm essentially have tailored this answer because of what I see people use it for, but so many people use it to like gain courage to have their own conversations, whether it's with their parents or whether it's with their siblings or, you know, family members, people who have said their own things. And I'm very clear that it's like, I'm only talking to people I feel safe with.

I am not talking to people who have sent me death threats. I am not talking to people who have not earned my time. I'm talking like, and surely we must, we must distinguish between someone who calls me a piece of shit and someone who tells me to kill him says yeah yeah kill me oh well or someone who says that they're going to kill me you know like oh my god um yeah i mean there there is a distinction there's a there's a difference there so it's about promoting conversation it's promoting conversation and it's like it's art and it's like i just want to show to you know our listeners

which is a small slice of the world i want to show like conversation across difference doesn't have to be a debate and you also don't have to compromise your own deeply held beliefs, right? Even in early recordings. Empathy is not endorsement. Even in early recordings of the podcast, I was thinking like, how do I like shut down what they're saying, right? And it's like, of course, I get that inclination. Because if you hear something you disagree with, we are trained, like shut it down. And I think there is real value, especially in a public platform to identify what you

disagree in about something. But like, why just why shut it down? I think it's so much more valuable to listen to why they think what they think. Meaning like, I fully disagree with it, but what is driving this? Like, that is how we're gonna like, get to the bottom of it. So when people ask me what they need to prepare for the podcast, I'm like, well, you're the expert on you already. Like, I'm going to be asking you about why you think this. I'm not going to be asking you about FBI statistics and how that plays into like life right now. Because like, unless you conducted those FBI statistics and can tell me why you were inspired to do that, I want to hear about why you're the type of person who, you know, who

believes that trans people shouldn't be in the military. Exactly. I want to say that you should book an FBI statistician. Yes, yes, yes. FBI statisticians listening. Yeah, they're all listening. Well, guys, it's a Webby award-winning podcast.

It's phenomenal. It's a phenomenal. I have another question. Yes. Sounds like you're wrapping up. Yeah. Sounds like you are fucking putting on your hiking backpack and headed to the woods. I'm moving the show along.

But fun. You asked your question, honey. I have one more question. Because when I was watching the TED Talk and, you know, you explained that there was what the very first example you give, Josh, he was going to be graduating high school. I was going to ask, I was wondering, is a theme that these are young people or no,

there's no theme. And this is, there is no theme. And this is what I always tell people. It's like a good sweet 16. There's not anywhere what I want to walk. This is at the end of mean girls. Tina Fey was like,

do I say the limit does not exist or there is no theme? And they went, the limit does not exist. Yeah, catchier. That's what Lauren said in the notes. But it's so funny because people, mostly people who like really don't listen to the podcast say, talk about these people, right? Like, I can't believe you talk to these people. And I always stop them and I say, well, there's no such such thing as these people they're actually all different yeah and we can't fit

them into our narrative and i understand why we say these people because i was saying these people when i was just getting the comments like fully understandable but like when you dig a little deeper like everyone has a totally different reason for reaching out and everyone is totally different and some people have never made an internet comment ever. And this is their first, you know, and some people, this is what they do. They rail against people on the internet. And I think it like soothes our brain to think like, oh, like these, these mean, mean people. And it's like, oh, well, the challenge is listening to the podcast is like, they're not necessarily mean people right yes full disclosure

i've reached out to many people to be on the show right and some people have like blocked me immediately yeah can i curse here yes 100% bitch fuck you um just like i've reached out to people and they've been like fuck you like this is a setup like get the fuck out of my inbox and it's like oh sister not too nice not too nice and that's what i said i actually just attached an audio gif of you that was not too nice in my opinion on loop um i guess in my humble opinion that was not too nice yeah mho not too nice um but i um so yeah so like you're you're hearing the people who like really got there. Yeah.

Um. Who are opting in and they know what they're in for. And that's the thing, babes. And I don't mean to spoil Dylan's closing line of his whole TED talk, but it's truly so fucking gorgeous. Spoiler alert. Spoiler alert. He goes, um, so yeah, feel free to comment.

Call me a, call me a faggot call me a gay wad say that I'm the worst thing about liberalism but if I reach out but I might want to talk to you and if you say no and block me then you babe are those snowflake I mean I'm paraphrasing but it's gorgeous almost exactly right word for word I think and I just love that you

didn't I love that you whatever just take this compliment accept it I'll take it accept it this sounds kind of gross I love that you didn't make the love that you, whatever, just take this compliment, accept it. I'll take it, accept it. This sounds kind of gross. I love that you didn't make the talk about empathy necessarily, but it's about sort of knowing, like knowing your own place in these conversations and having that conversation to begin with. It's also the fear of empathy. Yes. We're so scared that we're, if we empathize with someone, we're like, oh my God, now I

am this person. Now I support what they think. Because of course, that is what Twitter makes you think. Twitter makes you think, if you see the humanity behind someone who disagrees with you, it's like, oh, you might as well be their side. Go fuck yourself.

Yeah, that is a prevailing theme now is people being like, no, it's not time to say we have empathy for Trump voters. Fuck that. Like, we're past that point. And some commenters on the talk have been like, no, this doesn't mean I'm going to empathize with Nazis. And I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Never said, like. Nobody said Nazis. Nobody ever mentioned that. And like, it is going to be valuable to us that we distinguish between, yeah. Between you or who have it out to endanger you and people who just happen to disagree. Who disagree and express that in the way we now all express things on the internet like look at look at yourself i'm i'm gonna own up to this but like the way we i myself have expressed things online it's like oh like i would never say that in person yeah i look back at my own stuff and i'm like oh i'm a monster yeah i don't think i would say to

donald trump's face fuck you yeah but i did once tweet at real donald trump fuck you so like so am i a troll no no no no no i think i might be but i don't even use the word troll i i specifically don't like you to use the word troll because like i i like to use person first language and like you know person who doesn't agree with trump and and i think about this but like i we always like we say what we would do it's the same psychology that's like oh my god when i see that person i'm gonna fucking pummel them oh my god dylan was so hot you can't see we love mask energy but though i also do feel like just for the record listeners i feel like

what i really looked like was a muppet. No, no. Mask Muppet. River Phoenix. Yeah. But I... It's like that same mentality. It's that same mentality of saying like, oh, when I see this person, I'm going to see you outside, man. I'm going to fuck you up.

I've never said that. I've never been said that to. But it's that thing where you lose your spine as soon as you're confused. Yeah. And then it's like, so when we say we say things like oh my god if i ever met trump you know and it's like well actually like think through it like if you actually were invited to the white house like what would you say like how how would you like meaning also uh if you start

saying things you will be escorted out. Sorry about it. But like how will you express like I see this country as a need of a different kind of leadership. How can I help you be that leader? You know what I mean? Like it's just all of that fades away when you're actually in front of the person.

I have a living example of that. We've talked, I've brought this up on the podcast before. I thought about you and laughed just now. You've heard my Trump story. I went to his SNL episode, which was just like, it just happened. Yes. And then at the after party.

Trump and Sia. Trump and Sia. And then. Oh, my God. At the after party, Trump leaves. And I, like, get out of his way. And then I'm fucking shit-faced. And he's leaving.

Bill O'Reilly leaves. And then Donald Trump follows follows him and i go great show tonight comedic performance i complimented the president on his comedy yeah i mean listen it is it is and that is like an extreme example it's also like using donald trump i mean yes but like but it's the same thing it's like oh my god i'm gonna own him and someone's gonna be filming it and i'm gonna really own him on camera but like imagine if that were on camera i mean i would i would like share that with the world be like look at me being a fucking idiot well or it's just like it's just like we we get to be some idealized version of

ourselves some idealized version of ourselves. Some idealized version of ourselves. And sometimes that's good. Like, honestly, I'm going to own up to it. I feel like an idealized version of myself on Instagram. Sure. I mean, we all self-edit. But on like, what if we're being the like bad idealized versions of ourselves when it's like only the nasty rises to the top like only the nasty rises to the top

and only the cutting rises to the top. And I just think like there are so many ways. We think that to be entertaining and to be funny, we have to be mean, right? And it's like you can also have incisive political commentary that isn't a takedown, but we don't even know what that looks like right how can we talk about sociological issues

without like totally fucking owning someone for this awful thing yeah and so yeah so I I you know my sweet queen to like go back to your question the goal I see it as is like

I want to create a space where where there aren't takedowns yeah that's gorgeous so we should probably change i don't think so honey to babe i have a suggestion no babe babe no no no i love i don't think so honey that i mean that's art you know you can't change art you can't change art well i don't think so honey isn't necessary i always see i've thought about this a long time i'm like oh are we just like building this whole thing around negativity and that's like the fire like that's the i think it's more catharsis yes and also i think my favorite i don't think so honeys like are are like um kind of uh commentary on isms yeah do you know what i

mean like my favorite i don't think so honeys and you know i'm on record and then my first time on this podcast was a person that I don't think so. It's okay. We all evolved. Who was it? Lady Gaga. Oh, Lady Gaga. Lady Gaga.

Oh, yes. Lady Gaga for allyship. Her performative allyship for Black Lives Matter. Where is your allyship for Black Lives Matter when you're so- Do you feel that it's come? No. Because I brought up Angel Dan. I was like, what about Angel Dan?

That was about Trayvon Martin. And Dylan said, no, there needed to be something more over and i was like yes well also just like it she released that in 2016 trayvon martin was killed in 2012 like no totally it's just like it's had time to congeal where she that doesn't feel i mean trayvon martin and and you know the story of trayvon will always be relevant. But I'm just saying, like, devastatingly, he is not the most recent example. And that's horrible to say, but he's not. It's horrible to say that she has plenty of material to go off of.

But I, no, I really love I Don't Think So, Honey. I mean, listen, listeners, you don't know this. I am, like, sycophantic when it comes to you guys. Oh, whatever. No, I do. After every live show I text you, I tell you how incredible it was. I tell you how much I love this podcast. I really like I'm tickled by you guys.

Like just mesmerized. We weren't asking you to say this. I'm being paid. This is a sponsored episode. They know this already. This is a sponsored episode. I know this already. This is a sponsored episode. I'm paying you with the money that you paid me to watch your TED Talk. Yes. I have a

question. Are they paying you to post did they give you that shirt for free and you did a sponsored thing today? Or you just liked that shirt? No. She gave me the shirt for free and I was just not directed. This is massive gay. This is a clothing line that celebrates Asian porn is massive gay. This is a clothing line that celebrates Asian porn,

Asian gay, Asian queer, Asian slut. There's this, there's this muscular Asian man on the back. Yes, man. It's Anna Ishii.

She's fantastic. She's a purveyor of Asian, you know, cute, vintage Asian pornography. But she, no, she sent me this for free.

And I was like, oh my God, guy. And she didn't tell me to do anything. I was like, I'm going to, I'm going to wear this. I'm going to post, I'm going to post up on this because it's cute. Yes, post up on it. And I'm promoting.

I got a cute box from World of Wonder. Oh. I didn't get no box from World of Wonder. Girl, they approached me and they said, would you want to try this out? It's a wonderful World of Drag from World of Wonder box. I got Michelle Visage's book, The Diva Rules. I got a little makeup bag that says Purse First from Bob the Drag Queen. I got Sasha Velour playing cards.

It's awesome. I didn't get it. And a World of Wonder. You're in the doghouse of Bo and Yang. I don't think so, honey. Well, I'm allowed to have a nice box. Sure. I love it.

It's great. Hi, everyone. This is Matt Rogers, ox sure um i love it it's great hi everyone this is matt rogers and i have a confession to make i vape i like vaping i'm a vapor have you guys heard of eliquid.com because if you share similar interests as me you should know about itLiquid.com makes vape shopping easier than ever. No need to leave the house in search of specific brands or products. eLiquid.com provides a user-friendly experience online with amazingly quick delivery. I'm talking a very clear, simple website to use, and they've got so much good stuff. It's the largest unmatched selection to choose from. It's competitively priced. There's over 44,000 items in stock

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the store i want to give you the code right now so listen up please go to eliquid.com, that's E-L-I-Q-U-I-D.com forward slash Las Culturistas and use the promo code Las Culturistas, L-A-S-C-U-L-T-U-R-I-S-T-A-S during checkout. Let me say that one more time. 20% off your first purchase at eliquid.com forward slash las culturistas using the promo code las culturistas. You gotta step up your vape game this season, people, with eliquid.com. I want to ask Dylan a question that I think we should start asking our return guests.

Say that louder. Say that last part louder. I want to ask. Return the guest And you know there's been a lot of controversy online With Pat Regan and his obsession With being Las Colas Teresa's first return guest Pat needs to sit the fuck down His Las Colas Teresa's Icon Award is in serious jeopardy

Right now And I know that's going to strike a chord with the listeners Because he is a quote unquote fan favorite As disgusting as that is That you would endorse his behavior. But all I'm saying is Pat Regan, he better check herself. He better

check herself. I want to ask Dylan a question we should ask our return guests. Because they've already answered the question, what is the culture that made you think culture is for you? I want to ask Dylan, what is the culture that makes you say right now culture is amazing?

Wow. Another way to ask what is culture that you love right now? What's your media diet? Take that anywhere you want. Oh my god. I just saw the Ruth Bader Ginsburg documentary. RBG? Oh I gotta watch that. Oh that is my media diet. RBG OMG.

Listen I am like fully acknowledging that i like earnest shit and thank god for earnest thank god for earnest shit like literally that you like sally field yeah i love sally field but like i have cried every single time I've seen the eighth grade trailer. Okay? Oh, my God. I can't wait to see that, actually. I unironically love that Troye Sivan has a song about bottoming. Yes!

I bloom, I bloom just for you. I love the trailer for the Mr. Rogers documentary. I love, you know what I live for in culture right now? That Mr. Rogers is having a cultural renaissance. And I love Mr. Rogers. I love He ran a whole fucking town out of

his house. I wonder how much people were paying in rent. Yeah. I know the puppets. Problematic in terms of a landlord perspective. You don't know that? Drag. He might have been a great? Drag. I think he was a great landlord. Iatic in terms of a landlord perspective. You don't know that. Drag. He might have been a great. Drag. I think he was a great landlord. I would imagine him as a great landlord.

What is the culture you're loving right now? Oh, she's deflecting and turning the question back. No, she answered and is opening the floor to the opinions of people I love. Okay, Fish. Mine's Janelle Monae. Janelle's good. Oh my God, that album is incredible. Untouchable.

Untouchable.ouchable wait really quickly i want to say the mr rogers trailer documentary trailer played before the avengers like on the first night it was this room for the avengers yeah it was it was it was interesting at alamo we love alamo love but it was this room full of like broey like comic book folks and um it played in guys i mean yeah it it just, it broke through to all of us. Well, here's my fear, is that people love you when you're gone. Like, it's like,

like, you get to be an icon, unless you're Pat Regan getting the Icon Award. Or Annie Donnelly. Or Annie Donnelly. You get to be an icon when, like, only in retrospect can people really unironically and fully love you and that's so sad to me like i love when people love things that are happening right now um like janelle like janelle yeah but actually this was gonna be my i don't think so

honey later but i'd rather go into it now because i'd rather have a discussion about it it's crazy to me that only like less than two million people have watched her emotion album yeah like less really yeah like no one's watching it on youtube and i'm just like let me tell you if beyonce did this we the world would be stopped like forget about if taylor swift did something like this like it's just crazy to me that and not to say that she doesn't get the credit or the respect that she is due because there are so many people out there that love her and have been loving her, but it's just like this work

that she's done on this last album and the I guess she's calling it an emotion picture. It's so good and it just uses so many of her incredible vast talents yeah that i just wanted to get the respect and and um i want the eyes on it that it deserves i love everything about this

yes and i think that more people should be watching and listening to it and i've never understood why she wasn't like a bigger mainstream deal and then someone said to me well there's too many hooks in her songs and i was like i'll read them can you ryan faas said that there's too many hooks in her songs i was like too many hooks in a pop song no no bitch go back to school can you just imagine and it won't happen but can you imagine her super bowl halftime performance no it would be incredible and also she's so fucking good at everything. She's an amazing actor, too. Very good.

And there's acting in the... Have you watched the emotion picture? Yes. No. What? See, I don't think so. I need that. I don't think so.

You don't have 46 minutes? I'm a monster. I'm going to watch it now tonight because I feel shamed. You clap back. You just raised your arm high in the air

as if to hit me. But don't you, Lord, this... You bowing your air as if to hit me. But don't you lord this. You just tried to hit me. Don't you lord this. Oh, I saw Dirty Computer. I saw the emotion picture. Honey, I've been it on the ground floor with Janelle since fucking 2010. Then you would have put 46 minutes

in and respected her. Don't you dare. I think it's amazing everyone's talking about Donald Glover, but now don't just move on because there's only room for one icon right now amazing everyone's talking about Donald Glover but now don't just move on because there's only room for one icon right now let's talk about Janelle as well let's talk about everybody everybody can do that

speaking of which another thing I'm living for in culture is just Lena Waithe she was serving you it all at the Met Gala oh my god let's chat about the Met Gala do you guys live for the Met Gala. Oh my God. Let's chat about the Met Gala. Do you guys live for the Met Gala?

Is that like a staple for you? I'm like, I have complicated feelings about the Met Gala. As a comedian, I fucking am obsessed with the Met Gala. Because I think the concept of it is so fucking funny. And I think one of the funniest bits that happens every year is John Early's talking about what the themes of the Met Gala are going to be. You've got to. I mean, just like go to his recent like tweets. The theme of the Met Gala are going to be. You gotta. I mean, just go to his recent tweets. The theme of the Met Gala is Richard Jenkins.

The theme of the Met Gala is Richard Jenkins. The theme of the Met Gala is just dot, dot, dot. He's just got so many jokes. But it's just the most... I normally hate non-sequitur humor. It's like a random thing, but this is like non-sequitur humor just sort of perfected.

But it's not non-sequitur humor in that you still like it's it's also sort of commenting on the pretentiousness of this thing that it is all these sort of like already pretentious things like sort of right and it's just so only following it if it matches the dress they already want to wear yeah I also love non sequitur humor

yeah okay well I don't think so. We were at odds. We were at odds. Well, he tried to hit me. No one tries to hit you. Problematic white people shit. He's trying to hit me. These are my white tears.

Yes. Oh my God. Boing Yang raised his arm. Yes. I tried to hurt me. He tried to hurt me. Let's talk about Lena Waithe, honey. She certainly wore a great

fucking, what would you call that? A cape? A cape, honey. I would call it a cape. There's one word for it. Pride cape. I would say cape, baby girl. Throw. Yeah. I sometimes call anything I'm wearing over my t-shirt a throw. A throw. Even a flannel. I love to say that. HBJ thought that was funny. Not accurate. I think you're cute.

Even the flannel. A throw. Yeah, this is you're cute. Even the flannel, a throw. Yeah, this is my throw that I have. I think of a throw as just like a velvet blanket you throw onto a couch. Because that is the actual, the correct definition. No, the patriarchy says I can't have a throw. Pillows and throws. No, no, no. So it's my way of protesting.

You're thinking of shawl. To call everything a throw. You're thinking of shawl. I'm not thinking of shl. To call everything a throw. You're thinking of Shawl. I'm not thinking of Shawl at all. Yes. I never once have thought of Shawl. I've only thought of throw. Okay. Well, alright. I thought that the best

dressed person at the Met Gala was Rihanna, which I know is redundant to say, but that's what that is. She always is. She always is. That's why she's the co-chair, honey. She's the co-chair. My personal favorite was Greta. Oh personal favorite was Greta. Oh my God, Greta. Overblown nun.

Love. Outfit. Oh, so funny. So great. Todd gasped when we saw it because he was like, honestly. When Todd gasps. When Todd gasps. That's the name of my first novel.

When Todd gasps. Madonna looks pretty fierce too. Madonna was okay. Madonna was fun. Who was really first thought and boring The person who like raised such a Dumb middle finger for me Was Kendall Jenner just showing up in like A white like whatever

Just like so nondescript And she was just you could tell She was being smug about it I was like Kendall Stick to the theme I'll tell you something Who is like so... Another member of her family who is like so... It's almost like you...

Tina Fey makes this joke that you could make her in a lab. But Kim Kardashian, it's so insane. The proportions of her body. Her waist is so small. Her hips are so wide. Her ass is huge. She is an hourglass. She's a walking hourglass. And I'm sure there's

like witchcraft and wizardry that goes into making her what she is all the doodah day. But the thing is, oh my god. She's got a body like an hourglass to quote Jessie J. Yeah. 36, 24,

36, more like 48 6 48 gorgeous gorgeous that's the new normal that's how that see what i did there yeah i loved it a little bit bigger loved it very good very non-sequitur humor yeah sequitur i would that's for sure sequitur context yes yes yeah yeah dylan what say you about non-sequitur. There was context. There was context. Sequitur context. Yes. Yeah. Dylan, what say you about non-sequitur humor? I love it. I mean, I just like, I don't know. I just, I like it when it tickles me.

And then I, you know. I just like. I don't think that anyone is saying that non-sequitur humor is like acceptable all the time. But I'm just saying I do love a good non-sequitur. Yeah. Sometimes. I also love a good strongly played game sometimes when someone is like and then a bear with lasers came

out oh my god Bowen that was hilarious oh my god imagine a bear with lasers HPJ comedy is done everyone go home everyone Bowen won oh no he raised his hand against it if not to be too self-referential,

but I think Patty's Ellen DeGeneres story was like a master class in how to like be amazing at non-sequitur humor. That was, see, I don't, I wouldn't, don't know if I'd call that non-sequitur humor because all we did was set a world for her and she filled the world in her own way and so it was grounded as surreal from the very beginning.

What would you call non-sequitur humor? I would say non-sequitur humor if I just said, oops, a diamond just fell out of my little ass. See, that's funny. I love that. Told you. I am New York City and perhaps the universe's premier non sequitur comedian.

Preeminent. Premier. Listen, a diamond just fell out of my ass. I'm going to laugh about that all the way home. Oh, no. Oh. Bowen just lifted his whole leg far up into the sky. And he whispered to me, I'll fucking kill you.

Yeah. See, I'm a fan. See, but this is a strongly played game. See, no. Because that's the third beat in a series and i guess what i won't do it again oh matt thinks don't go forth matt thinks of himself as a little patty harrison now yeah no i would never claim to be uh as funny as patty i would claim to be more beautiful okay pash new that's what i call her do you guys know that yes she's

passionate with an accent why would you tell her why wouldn't you I call her do you guys know that yes she's Pashnu with an accent why wouldn't you just call her her name because Pashnu is the endearing phrase I like to call her when they were co-workers

when we were co-workers oh wow they had a job they had health insurance woo you know what I don't know that I call Bowen many things

don't you worry my cobra is about to run out no yeah it's true yeah health insurance is terrifying to me yeah for sure it's um the only reason why i still do certain things are you guys gilded

little babies no no no no no not by any means no we're gilded but we don't make enough money in the guild too so that's my scary thing like i was scared to like pay to become a member this is very inside baseball i apologize please but um it's it's scary to pay all that money and then like always have to make enough money to well yeah that's a common misconception is that people think when you're in the union or whatever that you're just like protected by the union but you have to make a certain amount of money and sag and the writers guild and all that stuff to in order to benefit from all that stuff so but we and we are not there yet one of us is probably closer than the other

because one of us, it's so funny, Dylan, books at all, and that is Bowen. Oh, please. Oh, my God, he's going to hurt me. He just took his big penis out, and there's a spike on the tip, and he said, I am the Ellen this week. Yes.

I did say that. I am the Ellen this week. I did say that. I am the Ellen this week. Yeah. Yeah. say that. I am the Ellen this week. I did say that. I am the Ellen this week. Yeah. Do you feel that when you are especially close to someone, this is something that happens with me, when I'm especially close to someone, I feel like a special

kinship to them. I will commonly make up a name for them. Oh my god. Dylan just exemplified. Yeah, that's what I just said. That was what you just exemplified. Pashnew. Pashnew is Patty. Okay, yeah, we heard that. Dylan calls me Bonina. Bonina. said um that was what you just exemplified i um passion new passion new is patty okay yeah we heard yeah i'm going to another one bonina bonina bonina bonina jackson jones bonina jackson james well i call bon bobby said bobby but yeah i love that and it's so your new one is grunke

shay grunke shay yeah and of course all the things i've actually i'm glad you're bringing this up because I feel like there are ones that I wanted to try out with you. Oh, let's have a try some. But I just got your number. That's insane. That's sad. That's ridiculous. And I said, no, okay. I gave my number out the very first day I was born.

Shut up. Oh, she took the pop filter off. She took the pop guard off. I'm going to hear those popped peas. Matthew. Roger. That's actually not even my name. Okay'm going to hear those popped Ps. Matthew. Roger. That's actually not even my name. Okay, this is a start, but we're starting with.

Full name is Matt? No, it is. It's Matthew. Okay. Okay. It's a game. I just want to keep you on your game. Well, let's go.

Let's hear the names that you wanted to tell me. No, I'm just. Well, there was actually something else that I wanted to bring up. This is my own non sequitur, but it's not humor. You got my number. It's drama. Oh, I love non sequitur drama. I love some good drama. I sent you guys

a YouTube video of a song shut up, of a song that I loved. I have a confession to make. Neither of you listened to it. I listened! I have a confession to make. And this is for anyone in my life. If you send me a YouTube video in my texts, I...

It will open the YouTube app if you have it when you are in Wi-Fi, and then you can watch it at no detriment to your data. I don't know. I just don't really... I don't do the thing, like, even in Instagram DMs or whatever, like, what have you. Like, if you send me a video, like, I don't know. It's something about me.

It's something weird. It's problematic. It's problematic. I just don't know it's something about me it's something weird like it's problematic I just don't always listen to them right then and there like if you send me a video you gotta give me a little bit okay well I sent it to you because you are arbiters of culture and people I admire and respect

I'm sure I like it and yes it's great it's just a song that no one hears because I'm watching something in culture that I guarantee you none of your listeners are watching. Okay, what? American Idol. Oh, this one. No, I've seen a couple episodes of it.

Can you believe Ada Vox? I have to be honest with you, Dylan. I don't think that she's as talented as everyone thinks she is. And I do think that it should be based on. I loved her. I actually think who's the who's the like and i look i'm just gonna say this and you come for me like the wolves that you can be out there um i think that like i've only seen a couple performances but then when they did disney night yeah i really didn't want to feel this way but i felt that her performance was extremely screamy.

And like, I've seen circle of life be done so many times. So amazingly that I don't understand picking that. I do understand it as a choice of a drag queen to sing and perform. I get it vocally. It didn't do as much for me as like, even that Lily white blonde girl singing colors of the wind, which I thought was fucking insane,

but she gave a better vocal. Well, just like my podcast, Even that lily white blonde girl singing Colors of the Wind, which I thought was fucking insane. But she gave a better vocal. Well, just like my podcast, there is not necessarily common ground to be found here. But I still respect you as a person. I respect you too. I just also feel that in terms of notes being hit, there were many more of them in the other performances. Okay, well, I loved all the notes. But I also find it's very problematic

the way that the voting goes. And this was my I Don't Think So Honey in the Dave Mazzoni episode. The live voting is literally it just voted white people through. Of course it did. That was my I Don't Think So Honey. It was just that it stacks the deck for people that are watching live and still have cable

etc watching after roseanne and like it absolutely oh my god it's unfair it's laughable when they when they move to the top seven or um what was it when it was literally just the people only the people of color in the bottom yeah that was what i was saying. I was like, see, it's not... It's... At a certain point, it's like, come on. And if it's... I've always had questions about American Idol and how real the results are.

Yeah. Oh, that's interesting. Oh, yeah, completely. It's a television show. Not everything is 100% real. They need those eliminations that shock people to happen they need that to survive and stay interesting yeah um so just think about that and also we've had a friend go through the american idol experience in detail how yeah crazy it is on this very podcast you can listen to it vocalista episode with amanda

sheckman you can hear all about it okay what season was she? She was on season nine. But anyway, when you're a producer and you see that all the people of color are in the bottom, you would think like, okay, optics on this are kind of iffy. But let's just give it the benefit of the doubt and say that is the actual bottom four or whatever, then there's something to that. Yeah. There is something to that. And also on the voice, the only real artist on the show, her name was Christiana Danielle.

And she's this, um, sort of black RMB singer, not sort of black, black, black sort of RMB soul singer. And like, um,

she's on Alicia Keys, his team, and she had the lowest vote votes and has been getting the lowest votes, Black sort of R&B soul singer. And like she's on Alicia Keys' team. And she had the lowest votes and has been getting the lowest votes. But she's the only person doing anything relevant musically on the show. Literally. And then there's, of course, the sea of country singers. Yeah. And it has to be brought up.

And what are the demographics of these voting blocs? Well, that's also like i i just think like american idol is no longer how we listen to music no i just think like there are so many new musicians and so many different voices yeah but i worshipped american idol as a kid oh yeah yeah i get that i mean i think we all did i mean i always whenever anyone whenever we go on other podcasts and they ask what was the culture that shaped you i always mention american idol was the thing i was influenced by. Here's the thing with this Christiana girl and with all these people,

and with Ada and with these people who deserve to sort of make it through. And I said this before, entertainment is presenting things that we already know in the ways that we know how to see them. Art is expanding our understanding of things that we did not know before, honey. And therefore, maybe American Idol is not necessarily the place for art. It's entertainment, honey. It's something for entertainment. And you know what?

If the majority of people that are watching American Idol are live, are white people that like country music, then they will get the winner that they want. I just think, like... Carrie Underwood is the biggest winner of all. Right.

The most lucrative. The biggest earning winner. But it's just... You call it American Idol. You think it's going to represent all of America. It does not do that. It is a fabrication of that. You know what I mean? It depends on how much you accept. I going to represent all of America it does not do that it is a fabrication of that

you know what I mean so it just depends on how much you accept I need to watch that movie I never saw that movie American Dreams with Mandy Moore I heard it wasn't as good as it should have been I wonder if it's like it was if it was before it's time you know it's like yeah sort of an American Idol satire like while

American Idol was in the like fifth season or something right you know or if it was I feel like there's some way you sort of modernize that now where it's like you get to talk about and now I think it's a Black Mirror episode there you go you're so right you're so right you're so right you're so right yeah yeah absolutely that that is probably

what should be done yeah there probably should be a Black Mirror episode about it there's the there's the Daniel I'm blank clue clue yeah yeah Daniel Kaluuya Black Mirror episode about it. There's the Daniel Kalou Daniel Kalou Black Mirror episode. I have a question. And I'm going to say this.

It might be popular, it might not. He looks much bigger. Is he gaining weight for a part? I don't know, but he's very attractive. I couldn't help but notice from get out to what he looked like on snl yeah yeah yeah and uh the met gal i was like oh he looks much much thicker did you see the announcement for jordan peele's new movie oh my god yeah i can't

wait lupita it's called us lupita i mean lupita and i heard um elizabeth moss elizabeth moss those are the two leads and then the brother there's another black male lead that they're... Yes, yes, yes. I thought they were set. It's the guy who played M'Baku in Black Panther. Wow. It's that guy. He's so good. It's him, Lupita, two Black Panther stars

in this new Jordan Peele movie. And then Chelsea Peretti tweeted, I can't wait to see what this guy has up his sleeve or something. Oh, cute. In a way that's like, I can't wait to see more of this guy. I'm excited to see another horror movie from him. I was wondering if we'd see something different. I'm excited that he's sticking with this. I'm okay with it.

I thought for a second, I was like, wait, do I want something else? No, this is actually, this is what he does well. No, yeah, I'm very excited. Also, we've gotten so much from him, you know, on Key and Peele that I'm like, yes, continue. The thing about Get Out is, and that's why I'm excited to see his follow-up, and they always say, especially with someone that has a big hit like Get Out, that second picture,

or that second album, or that second... The sophomore thing is a big deciding factor. They say it about Real Housewives, too. Pat Regan famously said, Real Housewives' first, real first season is her second season. Ah. Not to give him any credit whatsoever because he's on the

fritz as he sullies the name of this podcast absolutely it makes us worse yes um no I love you so much Pat love you passion um I just said Pat is also passion you better I need a new one no Patty you are passion

forever what I'm saying though is Get Out feels so the child of Jordan Peele that I think it's going to be of tall order, and the bar is going to be extremely high. He's smart enough to do that. He's absolutely smart enough and talented enough, but I'm just saying with somebody like that, it's like the eyes the eyes are gonna be on the project and people are gonna be looking

for the littlest thing and I just hope that um it's so intimidating yeah no truly um it already looks I mean whatever to follow up an impossible success you know what I mean like is fucking wild yeah I can't wait oh I can't wait either I'm

very interested to see how i'll consume this one because i am literally so terrified of movies like that and you watched get out at the last possible second yeah i watched well it wasn't that i didn't want to see it it was that i was i'm just scared you just don't like her yeah and so i watched it once like from across the room on my sag screener and then once i had seen it once then i watched it very closely like numerous times after i'd shown it to my family and my dad really liked it but it's the first time I'm watching it

that I'm like a full freak. I gotta tell you I'm a freak for horror movies. See I don't get it. That's why you're not my husband. That's why you're Todd's husband. Todd hates horror movies. Oh you're abusive. Oh my god stop. Dylan just tried to really hurt me. Oh my god! Stop! Dylan just tried to really

hurt me. Oh my god. Dylan just tried to kill me with poison. Yeah. No. It was arsenic. Yeah. He tried to hurt me. No! Bowen! I just prolapsed. Bowen took a knife out of his butt! I said, no, I prolapsed my asshole, and there was a knife in there. Oh my god.

And I went. Prolapsed. And I brandished it in front of you. Yeah, he brandished you brandish? No, I love it. You know who feels attacked? HPJ with the word prolapse. I'm sorry. Oh, HPJ didn't link and I'm sorry. I'm sorry, baby. It's time for our segment. Yes. Ooh, we have a new segment. Oh, and Dylan's done this

segment before. Yes, he has done it. It was lovely. I bet you've never had a guest who has done this segment who's in the chair. This is true. This is our first Oh, Patty. Sorry, bitch. Patty's technically our first. Pashmina or whatever. Excuse me. Pashnu. But what I'm

saying is I am a guest, a returning guest who has already done a voicemail. Yeah, and so what we're saying is Patty's already done that. Patty is a returning guest who's already fucking done the voicemail. But you know what? The distinction that Dylan has is that he literally had the voice...

Conversations with dumbass. No. Conversations with dumbass who's stupid. Maybe that's the title of that. We're talking about follow-up projects and that's my follow-up project.

Conversations with dumbass who's stupid. I think that's the title of that. Yeah. Conversations with dumbass who's the title of that. Yeah. Conversations with Dumbass Who's Stupid. Multiple conversations. Yes. With one dumbass who's stupid.

I guess, can I actually request that that not be the title? Yes, of course. Because I'm aware that when people then search for conversations with, and if it comes with Dylan Marin, then it will be like, oh, is he just bad mouthing his guests? When really what they won't know from the title is the dumbass who's stupid is me. That is so- How about the title of this is Debates With This Ho?

Well, we'll kick it around. I fully trust you guys with a podcast. Debates With This Ho. Debates With This Ho. Title of that. HBJ, you're writing it down. I see you scrolling it in. Look at that tiny black book. We got it. Okay.

Look at that stupid little tiny black book HBJ has. I love it. Debates with this hoe. We'll run Debates with this hoe by Dylan again as we get closer to reading. I listen. Okay. This is... I was going to say, Dylan has the distinction of being a guest who

submitted the voice memo just the prior week and then being in the chair we're really it's like you know when rich people like or royalty specifically it's like please make a record for me you know I feel like I'm like please or like an award that means like nothing but it's like

you Sir Philip Hiller holds the distinction for biggest boat biggest boat biggest boat that is not biggest boat in the Gulf of Mexico currently currently that's it that's the distinction

no distinction no special distinction whatever I'm here oh my god I'm over this conversation with this hoe with dumbass who debates with this hoe. Play the voice memo. This is a voice memo from a dear friend of all of us, Joe Firestone.

Oh my God. And I believe she has, I think we didn't prompt her or anything. She just has a nighttime routine suggestion. So I'll say that and we'll just listen. Hi Bowen. Hi Matt. Hiylan uh i don't know if anyone else is there usually you guys have four people so i imagine there's someone else uh

i'm so sorry hi maybe you guys could fill it in later um so uh this is joe firestone i was uh just calling in to say hi. And I wanted to share with you guys a little nighttime routine that I've been really getting into. And I think you guys would really like it. I think people would really latch on to it if they knew that there's like a new trendy nighttime routine. So basically, here's what I would recommend. If you get home at night and you think like, man, this sucks. Here is a great, here's, I'll just tell you what I do.

Okay, so first off, you put frozen chicken nuggets on a plate. This doesn't matter what time it is. The minute you get home, you put them on there. And you put them in the microwave. And, you know, put it in for a minute. And then, here's the deal, you flip them, and then you put them back in the microwave

for longer. And while that's cooking, you gotta take off all your clothes, and you put on a nightgown. Now, this is, it's hideous. It's a hideous nightgown. It's, I think I bought it as a prop, but now I use it as a piece of clothing. It's really, it's really ugly, but it's so airy.

I really recommend getting a nightgown. I know they're not fashionable. It's, don't, to want to have sex with you But it's really nice It's a nice piece It's a nice piece So you put on your nightgown You put on your slippers

This could be any time of night I'm talking 6pm, I'm talking midnight Whatever, okay? You with me? Okay, ding ding ding Chicken nuggets are ready You take out the chicken nuggets Now stack up the chicken nuggets.

Now, stack up the chicken nuggets, however many you have. Maybe you have four. Maybe you have ten. Stack them up. Now, you've got to squeeze as much ketchup as you have the height of chicken nuggets because otherwise it's just not going to work. This is very healing, very spiritual. Understand? I don't agree. Okay.

So then what you're going to do is you're going to um take a take a vape that you bought online and you're going to take a few tokes of that now that's going to really unattractive thing to do around people but it's very important you make this exclusive and by that i mean alone so you take a little puff of that You make sure you're just a little too high to understand things, but not so high that you start to understand things. So you're a little high to start eating your chicken nuggets. You're going to use all that ketchup. Don't worry about it.

Okay? So you use the ketchup. You're in your nightgown. And at that point, you're going to turn on an episode of Gilmore Girls. It doesn't matter what episode as long as it's before season six. Please, God, do not go into season six or beyond. It's not worth it. Wow.

Watch something else. So you watch Gilmore Girls and you wonder why did they make this show? Why am I watching? There's not a lot of answers answers so don't think too hard uh after that i think it's kind of um i don't know i think it's kind of nice to like pretend you're gonna stay up uh this again anytime anytime after six uh but you kind of fall asleep asleep face down on the couch with all the lights on. Gilmore Girls still blasting. This is so sad.

Wake up three to four hours later confused beyond understanding. It's like planking. You think, where am I? Why do I taste chicken nuggets? And why am I wearing this sad dress? And then what you're going to want to do is you're going to turn off the lights. You're going to stagger into your bed. And then you're going to starfish legs, arms in all directions.

And at that point, you're not going to be able to fall asleep for a while. So at that point, I would recommend watercolor. Personally, I don't do this stuff. Sounds like a fucking nightmare. I think that'd be better than what I usually do. That's kind of where I'm still working on it. Anyway, I just thought this could be, you know, a lot of people work on face masks and, you know, meditation. And this has been, this has proved very successful.

Another option if you're not so into the watercolors is, well, I'll be honest about what I like to do. Turn on, fill a bathtub with hot water and lay face down. No, I don't think so. Again, it's not for everybody, and I think a lot of people would probably like the bath if it was face up, but it's important to be face down, and you're not going to have enough room for both your legs and your top to stay warm, so you have to choose.

And I choose a top so that the peaks of my ass remain on top of the water, untouched and dry, and the legs play up like a dolphin. Wow. Anyway, thinking of you guys, I really love your podcast. I really love you guys as human beings. I hope this helps. I hope this helps you have a nice night. Sometimes nights can be hard.

Okay, love you. That was a voice memory from Joe with a lifestyle alert. I don't know. Should we reach out? It sounds like she's going through a hard time. Listen, I feel like we all can have troubles falling asleep. And Joe was just looking out for us.

Um, you know, I was on board for the whole thing. Up until, like, the watercolors. That was when she lost me. I was like, I don't really do watercolors, but I will, you know, pop a plate of chicken nuggets or whatever the vegetarian option is. Dylan? Seitan nuggets. Se the vegetarian option is, Dylan. Seitan nuggets.

Seitan nuggets. Hail seitan. Oh my God, snowflakes. Stop. Snowflake, yeah. But you know what, Matt? I don't think you should judge. I don't think you should judge. People disagree with you.

What you might not know about my history with Joe Firestone is that we lived for a year on my childhood bunk bed. Oh, you guys hooked up. Yeah, we hooked up. Because you brought the furniture down from your childhood apartment. No.

What? Because we lived together. I took a semester off senior year of college to travel around the country with a play that Joe and I wrote together. Called? And we couldn't afford to live on our own. So we live with my mom on the bunk beds that I grew up on.

That's beautiful. And look at the glow up. And look at the glow up, honey. I live in my own apartment now. Yes. With a mantle. With a mantle, yes. I've seen the pictures.

I haven't been to your new place I would love for you guys to come it's about the size of this room that's beautiful it's a summer hang less

less I think my new studio apartment is the size of this room wait I'll ask you off mic I don't care green point I've said it before

doctor I invite all my friends and fans to come see me hang out we can hang out just don't come to me

if you are going to say something mean yeah yeah just then we can hang out if you want to come say something nice to Matt you can visit him

please hang out with me if you want to say something what is this accent no no no I don't know okay we're putting an end to it okay okay

listen I think it might be time for I don't think so honey're putting an end to it okay okay um listen i think it might be time for i don't think so honey i think so i think so it might be time it might be time and there's gonna be many opportunities for you to see i don't think so honey performed live coming up very soon like at comedy central's clusterfest on saturday june 2nd and the echoplex on june 12th which is a tuesday and the Bell House on June 29th. It's a venue in Echo Park, Los Angeles, honey. In which we'll have many heads performing. It'll be very fun.

It'll be very fun. Okay, I think it's time. Matt, do you have something? Okay, then I'll start. Lately, I've been starting. I just gotta point out the trend here. Well, I've been prepared as of late. All right, this is Bo and Yang's I Don't Think So Honey And his time starts now

I don't think so honey subway ads that specifically cater to rich millennial children Honey I don't like that fucking subway ad that's like Boy don't tell your parents pay for your rent Fuck you Look god bless if you are blessed and charmed enough to live in this Horrendously rich Exp expensive city to live in, and your parents are paying your rent.

That's wonderful. I don't begrudge you of that. Whatever it takes for you to survive in this town. But I don't think you should be catered to by advertisers. You get me? Look, there are plenty of other populations that should be catered to in this city through subway ads. I don't need every John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt in this town to look at this garbage, this drivel that's on our subways and think that they're supposed to relate to it in this way that they're not supposed to. Look, honey, you've got plenty of access to other things that you can opt into, other forms of media that you can opt into. You have choices.

Some of us do not. Some of us are forced. Four seconds. I would rather read a poem, honey, by Mary Oliver on the subway than this trash from Seamless. And that's one minute. Honey. He doesn't think so, honey. I don't think so, honey.

Those subway ads. I don't like those subway ads. Yeah, maybe. They're dumb. Come up with something better. Okay, that's me. I have one. Matt has one. This is Matt Rogers' I Don't Think So Honey. His time starts now. I don't think so, honey. The story of the tortoise and the hare. Oh.

Let me tell you something, honey. If I've been working for years for the race, and I happen to be very good at racing, I better not lose to some dusty-ass, lazy-ass tortoise. Okay. If I'm a hare and this is my moment, I better win the race. I have been running around the fields. If I'm going to get up to the finish line and see a tortoise has beat me,

I'm going to ask what the fuck happened. Who does the tortoise know? Because there's nothing about the tortoise that should beat me in the race. The tortoise has his own moments to thrive. When the tortoise is in the water, I can't be in the water, I'm the hare. When the tortoise is protecting itself from predators, it has a shell.

Yes, it should thrive. That's how it lives. But when it comes to the race and I'm the hare, I'm gonna win. I don't think so, honey, otherwise. Okay, that's one minute for you as the hare to blame your loss on nepotism or... There is no feasible reason why the tortoise should win. I have a problem with this ASAP.

Look, the hare hubristically took a nap while the tortoise carried on and was, you know... What the fuck? How long was this nap? What is it, a coma? I don't believe that a tortoise would ever beat a hare. It was too long, and the tortoise beat the hare at the end. No, I disagree. I think there was some fuckery and nonsense going on.

I think Russia colluded. Oh, okay. I think there was collusion in the tortoise and the hare. Some oligarchs paid money. I think Mother Goose paid someone cash. No, that's not how that works. I think it was. An oligarch paid money to Aesop to write the story.

Aesop merely wrote the fable. Okay, so what you're saying is, you think that there's some people out there, the powers that be, Dylan Maron is rocking back and forth right now. I can tell he's getting so ready for his opening, so honey. It's also that I truly got into what you were saying. Do you stand with me?

No, because I love that story. But I loved your conviction. The passion. And I affirm your conviction. I feel that the story of the tortoise and a hare attacks people who worked hard for their whole life. But the tortoise worked hard all his life. He shouldn't have even been doing that race.

That's not fair. His agent put him up for it. I think that all I'm saying is I think there was some shady backdoor nonsense. You're putting people in boxes, like how people put us in boxes. We're not allowed to do stand-up. It's that same thing.

I... Listen. I'm just saying you're wrong. I stick with myself. I poked a giant hole. This is Dylan. Dylan, are you ready? Ooh, baby.

This is gonna be good. And no pressure. We're gonna get an education. We have a master here. This is Dylan Marins. I don't think so, honey this is dylan marins i don't think so honey his time starts now i don't think so honey the idea voice for radio what the fuck does that mean if i can make sounds with my body that then come out of my vocal cords and into a microphone guess the fuck what I have a voice for radio. I am sick of people saying that the voice for radio

is the low, authoritative man's voice, because fuck you, that is adhering to the problematic notions of, guess what? The patriarchy. 30 seconds! And that is saying that authority can only come from an assured male figure.

Well, guess the fuck what bitch oh i take that back babe i said a problematic word guess the fuck what babe i have been mistaken for my mom ever since i started answering the phone and some people think my voice is grating and therefore doesn't belong on radio. But guess the fuck what? I have a voice for radio. I don't think so, honey. And that's one minute.

Beautifully done. I relate to that. So the phone answering thing so hard. It's just, it was. And I'm like, do not misgender me, queen. Yes, yes. Fish? Yeah, when I was getting.

I have a story for you guys I know we're rapping but I want to tell you when I was booking Todd's surprise trip to Disney World I was blooming for you when you did that I was like I bloom just for Mickey Mouse

so I surprised my husband Todd with a trip to Disney World for his birthday. I just bloomed so hard that I had anal prolapse. Yeah, you had anal prolapse. Diamond fell out. I booked the trip. And as I was on the phone with the woman who was, you know, the Disney Imagineer. The Disney woman.

The Disney Imagineer is what they call them. Or the cast member. I don't think the Imagineer. The Disney woman. The Disney Imagineer is what they call them. Or the cast member. I don't think the Imagineers are answering the phone. She was a cast member. Beautifully done. And she called me ma'am every time. And I was like, you know what? This will be uncomfortable if I tell her,

like how do I subtly tell her I don't identify as a woman? And I wanted to to so I was like okay I have a great plan because also whenever I book trips I always like want to make sure that like wherever I'm booking is queer friendly right and so I was like okay this is great and I said okay so

you know would you mind just telling me I have a question I always ask this but I will be traveling with my husband so is you know is this like a gay friendly place would you mind just telling me, I have a question, I always ask this, but I will be traveling with my husband, so is this like a gay-friendly place? Clever, clever. Kind of knowing the answer, knowing that Disney purports to accept all, and there were five seconds of silence

on the other end of the line, and I was like, did I say something wrong? She was doing the math in her head, like she could have. Yeah, and she was like, did I say something wrong? She was doing the math in her head like she could. Yeah. And she was like, oh ma'am, what you do in the privacy of your own room is your own business. And I said, okay, she didn't get

the hint. Also, what does she think I was asking? And I was like, I wasn't like, where can we have bareback sex on Disney World? I don't think that was the answer she should have given. Well, then I said this thing and I was like, well, Disney does

gay days, right? So it's like, you actually can acknowledge it. And she was like, oh no, ma'am. Like, only, those are outside groups who do events inside the premises. And I was like, what? And then for a moment I was reconsidering it when you wish upon

a star you're talking to a homophobe on the phone well i don't know she was a homophobe or just like misunderstood some people have heard this story and been like maybe she thought she like continued to think i was a woman and was like oh are you asking like are you uncomfortable with gay people on disney world but like that's not what i said because she wouldn't have said what you do in the privacy of your own room is your own business. Girl, you are too proper. I would have been like, hi, excuse me. What I'm saying is I'm a man. You have made this conversation very much more difficult than it had to be.

I'm asking you if I'm going to get fucking punched in the face. Can you answer that question? Yes. But even like, I don't know. No, I think it's that thing where it's like the riddle of like, I can't operate on this child. He's my son.

It's like you can't fathom in your head that a surgeon would be a woman. It's like, I think she was caught up in that mental trap. Can I say something? HPJ reached over and turned down my mic

when I started to talk about gay rights. Yeah, I mean, when I started to talk about gay rights. You're blaring into the fucking microphone and this happens every single episode. HPJ turned down my mic when I started to talk about gay rights. Yeah, I mean. When I started to talk about gay rights. You're glaring into the fucking microphone and this happens every single episode. HPJ, turn down my mic. Next, next. I also wanted to say, it happened during your I don't think so, honey. I was looking at your audio waves and I was like, HPJ.

HPJ, turn down the dials every single time. Baby, I was born this way. It's a nothing, it's a nothing story. Who there ain't no other way. This is not anything special or out of the ordinary. This happens all the time. I was born this way. Lady Gaga.

Oh my God. Well, I think that is a beautiful story that sort of upsets me, but you know what? Why not? It definitely upset me. Most cast members are great at disney parks and they're doing an amazing job she was very helpful i just wanted to that's but that's a that's a funny story it's a funny story oh man yeah what you do in the privacy of your own room

i know but but like it's that thing of like i really am not asking like is it cool if we like fuck each other like in the magic kingdom I just want to know if it's alright if I'm in my own hotel room and I'm gay if I sit on my husband's face shut up and you know what you would have said you know what you should have said to her

which is what we're gonna end this episode on Dylan thank you so much for being here the TED talk everyone check it out I love you very much I love you I can't speak for a ball in I love you so so fucking much I love you so much I love you both you know what I love most about you what

that you are beautiful in your way cause God makes no mistakes I'm on the right track baby I was born this way no matter gay straight or bi lesbian transgender

I'm on the right track baby I was born this way same DNA I'm born this way oh my god that was my 2011 fantasy. Dylan, fuck you.

No! Just kidding. Love you. Love you. Forever Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe

to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team and liking our page on Facebook. I'm Sheryl Swoops. And I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. Because no matter who you are,

there are levels to what we experience as women. And T and I have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Sheryl Swo and Tariqa Foster-Brasby, an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes.

We're spilling all the behind-the-scenes stories, crazy details, and honestly, just having a blast talking football. Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all times, from legends to our buddies to current stars. We're finally answering the age-old question, what kind of dudes are these dudes? We're going to find out Jules new episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season.

Listen to dudes on dudes on the I heart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of on purpose. My latest episode is with jelly roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews

I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of

today's biggest artists. I was a desperate delusional dreamer. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty

on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. On Thanksgiving Day 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home, and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his father in Cuba. Mr. Gonzales wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami.

Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.