Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - “Destabilized” (w/ Nicole Byer)

Episode Date: March 11, 2020

We're back and this time with a guest who has been a long time coming: Nicole Byer! They get into Matt having been destabilized, Nicole having to deal with wild crowds at her shows, along with her many experiences on airplanes. Plus they get into Star Wars, how Adam Driver came to be, Lowell Farms, Salma Hayek being a good time, celebrity billionaires, reality television, daytime talk shows, a human helicopter, and so much more!! And some real talk I Don't Think So Honey's! Remember to subscribe to Las Culturistas right here on iHeart Radio! Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Real Housewives of New York City are back for another bite of the Big Apple. Look who it is. Joined by elite new friends. Rebecca Minkoff. Have you ever heard of her? But things could change in a New York Minute. She had this wild night and ended up getting pregnant by some other guy. What?

You told her? Not today, Satan. Not today. The Real Housewives of New York City. All new Tuesdays at 9 on Bravo or stream it on City TV+. Curious about queer sexuality, cruising, and expanding your horizons? Hit play on the sex-positive and deeply entertaining podcast, Sniffy's Cruising Confessions. Join hosts Gabe Gonzalez and Chris Patterson Rosso as they explore queer sex, cruising, relationships, and culture

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now on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes every Thursday. I'm NK, and this is Basket Case. What is wrong with me? A show about the ways that mental illness is shaped by not just biology. every Thursday. we can do about it and why we should care. Listen to Basket Case every Tuesday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Stick to sports, shut up and dribble. Despite what some people believe, sports and politics have mixed from the beginning. Now you have a podcast that isn't afraid to explore the complicated relationship

between sports and politics with a new podcast called Spolitics with me, Jemele Hill. I'll be discussing political, social, and economic issues through the lens of sports with some of the biggest names and smartest people. So here's the assignment. Listen to Spolitics on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Let's get Spolitical. Look, man. Oh, I see. Wow. Bowen, look over there. Wow. Is that culture?

Yes. Oh, my goodness. Wow. Las Culturistas. Ding dong. Las Culturistas calling. And it's been a time since we've said that. A fortnight or eight. It's been technically five fortnights.

Ten weeks or something like that. I believe you when you say that is what that is. Truly like our new home here in the Cosmo Lofts in Los Angeles. This is so fun. We've already messed up parking. We've messed up parking. We should tell them, you guys, we parked in the wrong lot. In the wrong lot.

So anyway, we'll talk about it later. It was just $10. They said we close at midnight, but the gates open so you can walk in. The girl was very nice. She was actually lovely, and I loved the the color of her hair which was blue yeah purple and your colorblindness i actually am so for anyone that's new to the pod i'm colorblind i'm so happy this is the first thing you get to know about me before you ask i'm red green colorblind and that is my specific handicap and see i think you're not picking up on the red tint to the

purple and so it looks blue i think that's what it is i'm not i'm no scientist but that's my theory is my specific handicap. And see, I think you're not picking up on the red tint to the purple, and so it looks blue. I think that's what it is. I'm no scientist, but that's my theory. Well, nearly a doctor. And that's the first thing you can know about Bowen Yang if you're new to the podcast. Also, I mean, I'm sure we're just getting the old audience.

I don't know if we're getting, we're picking up new people. Honey, I don't think you know the reach of iHeartRadio, a conglomerate, hun. Now, here's the real tea. We took a photo shoot today. That's the real tea. And I gotta say, it was my fault because it was slightly disorganized up top because I told you to bring a certain sort of story to your clothes. Bowen said bring a series of neutrals.

And I brought, instead, one loud embroidered floral shirt and just a gray sweatshirt. Which I think- Which is technically a neutral, but it's not like the neutral in what I, I showed you like a mood board-ish type thing. I think that Bowen was making an effort to destabilize me. And I think he wanted to throw me off.

Well, first of all, we should say that the word destabilized has sort of entered into... Re-entered the lexicon. Into the gay lexicon specifically. Our friend George Severus brought it back in and you're using it everywhere. Every chance you get.

I feel destabilized at all times. But you use it, you'll sort of sub it in for certain words. On the gay text thread, you're just like, guys, I have to share something with the thread. Josh destabilized me. Yeah, Josh Sharp. I actually want to announce it on the podcast.

Years ago, Josh Sharp cornered me in a gay bar and he destabilized me. And by destabilized me, I mean he tried to kiss me and I consensually kissed him back. And it was very destabilizing. And I'm actually using this word correctly and powerfully. Yes, absolutely. And I take my space.

And you take your space. And you know who is destabilizing but re-stabilizing? Oh my God, our guest. Our guest. Can I say that, talk about shaking it up and killing and slaying and turning and whopping and nailing. And I don't just say nailing. I know, I know.

Because of the show Nailed It, which she hosts. And by the way, can I say and I don't think so, honey? What? To the damn Emmys. Because how come they nominated the show and not the queen? It's actually rule of culture number eight. You can't nominate the show and not the queen.

You know, it's stupid. Her and Jacques both deserve noms. No, just her. Okay. I'm gonna fight with Jacques. He destabilized me. He destabilized you.

I actually invite him to destabilize me. Jacques, we can get into this with our guest, but Jacques feels like the nicest French person you've ever seen in the world.

Yeah, okay. Confirmed. We gotta talk about this. Confirmed by the guest. Now, there's a lot of other things about the guest. There's a lot of plugs. So first of all,

you can catch her live. She's gonna be at the Arlington Improv March 6th, 7th, and 8th and then she's going to be in Nashville March 26th, 27th, and 28th. She has a book coming out called Hashtag Very Fat,

Hashtag Very Brave. The fat girl's guide to being hashtag brave and not a dejected, melancholy, down in the dumps, weeping fat girl in a bikini. A destabilizing title. A destabilizing title.

If I've ever heard one. And of course, she's the host of the incredible, incredible show, Nailed It. And she's the host of several podcasts. A destabilizing title. If I've ever heard one. And of course, she's the host of the incredible, incredible show, Nailed It. And she's the host of several podcasts. Several. Newcomers.

Why Won't You Date Me? Drag Her. Best Friends. Best Friends with Cicers and Made Up. And I want to say something. I did Why Won't You Date Me? We had an amazing time doing that podcast and I have never in my life

received more pictures of the dicks and buttholes of men. There was a call to action in the end. There was a call, because we actually discussed how I never receive nudes, because our guest receives a plentiful amount of nudes. A destabilizing amount, you might say. And I said, well, I've never gotten one, and she sounded the alarm.

And the flood gates, honey. You're welcome. Yes. Swung open. But who is she? she well please welcome to your ears nicole byer what a treat a moment in time a moment in time truly so hard to not guffaw laughing i enjoyed that banter up top well we're just stabilized I fucking love that well how are you feeling stable or destabilized I'm constantly being destabilized

I'm just in these streets being like oh I'm destabilized talk about this date you're about to go on can you share anything about it

or you don't have to I'm putting you on the spot she is a sharer okay no don't don't don't I can tell that it's a little it's a little sensitive she likes the man

she likes him okay we don't have to we don't have to talk about it great I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm like immediately making you uncomfortable no it's a little it's a little she likes the man she likes him okay we don't have to we don't have to talk right i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm like immediately making you uncomfortable you're not making me no you would know if you made me uncomfortable because i would be like you have to stop like i did a live show where i was on stage with all the comics and one comic on on stage and there was this weird energy and I was like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Like I just said, I'll just say it.

Yes, yes. You get into it with audience members though because I feel like for some reason they often get into it with you. They love screaming at me. What is this? It's like an unearned familiarity that they think that they have.

Yeah, and it's so sad because half the time it's so nice so i threw a lady out of my show in new york recently because i said i injured myself as a setup to like a story and she was like on the pole because i pole dance yeah i put it on instagram and i was like what and she was like we love your moves and it's like a nice heckle but i was like you gotta get the fuck up out of here yeah you gotta go drunk loving woman like you gotta go home and hug a teddy bear or something like you're you're too drunk to be here and now it's not even that it was just the energy had to leave you couldn't yes even though it was positive ultimately you couldn't have it no because then i was like well

if i let her stay and scream at me what if you know Stephanie over here wants to tell me a story. Of course. And then God forbid a straight man feels he can get involved. They don't come to my show. They don't come? No. Is it the women and the gays? The women, the gays yep. Those are my people.

Those are the peeps. Sometimes I get straight men. At my live show in San Francisco I was like who here is straight? And they were like, whoo. I was like, who here is single? And literally nothing. Not my demo. No, I mean, come on.

But what is it? We don't get straights either. We don't get straights either. I think it's because they have other things to watch. And they have podcasts that cater specifically and aggressively to them. We actually drag them quite a bit on our podcast, I would imagine. Not too much. I don't know. What is it about that demo that's so sequestered from the rest of what's good?

I don't know. I also don't listen to podcasts, let alone hosted really listen to podcasts. But like, let alone like, hosted by a straight man. Yeah, no. I'm like, what are you, you don't even talk to your friends, so you're gonna sit down and listen to some other man talk?

Yeah. What is that? What does that entail? I will say that sometimes, sometimes, I will curiously peek over to the YouTube channel of one Joe Rogan.

Because I'm fascinated because it's, his podcast is so huge it's crazy and he does he release an episode every day i think so twice a week or something twice a week i'm just making this who's ever i have five podcasts so like truly every work day of the week you can listen to me talk about something no but like that's the thing is it's just he his is so huge and so and so crazy and then when he came out and um endorsed bernie sanders remember the moment that that was oh boy yeah the firestorm sure sure sure but it's just and so sometimes i don't oh yeah no this was news

so joe rugan came out 2016 no no no recently yes So much has happened in the last two, three years that you're just like, I don't fucking know. People tell me that dolphins started walking the earth and I'd be like, okay. Yeah. Sounds right. Did you know it was 70 degrees in Antarctica two days ago? We're going to die. We're all going to die.

Could you fucking believe that? 70 degrees? The temperature neared 70 degrees Fahrenheit. What are the polar bears doing? Girl. Oh my God. degrees the temperature neared 70 degrees Fahrenheit girl oh my god they are they're not blessing it up this is this is insane and it's it could be this thing it could be this thing where it's like I read it and like but it was a reputable thing I think it was the Washington Post okay okay and you know those girls do the research. They do. They do the research. They've got departments.

70 degrees. They have departments. They do. Honestly, what do you want me to do with that information, Matt? Why do you bring this up? Because now I'm stressed out.

So now we stop ordering from Amazon and we all buy Priuses. And we don't go to Equinox Gym. That was my favorite. I was like, you bitches,

come on. Yeah. Every owner of every corporation is a Trump supporter is bad. That's how they get their money. Yes. Yeah. They get their tax breaks. Yeah.

Someone was like, um, I was like, well, obviously I had like a, I had like a reaction to it. I was like, well, I hope that everyone,

you know, stops going to Equinox. And they were like, you are a Disney gay. You give millions of dollars, probably at this point over my life. You're a Disney gay? Yeah.

You love Disney? So is he. So am I. You love Disney? Nicole, you're a Disney gay. You are a Disney gay. I do have a full 10 minute joke in my set currently about Disney.

I loved that. I saw that and I did. Thank you. I loved that. I saw that and I did. Thank you. I live. And then there's truly a chunk for Disney gays. Like there's three jokes in a row that is for specifically RuPaul's Drag Race watching Disney gays.

Yes. That's us. That's us. That is us. Very specific. I mean, honestly, that is us in a nutshell. Did we talk about this on the mic? Nicole's flight attendant joke, which I love.

It's just a, she like, you had, the whole setup to it is this other story that like, is this other joke about being on a plane, but then you have a quick little tag where you're just like, I also just want to say all male flight attendants are gay. They just are. And it's so funny because I say, I don't want to stereotype or generalize. Yes, no, no. But I want all male flight attendants. And then They just are. And it's so funny because I say, I don't want to stereotype or generalize

about all male flight attendants. And then people will be like, well, you are generalizing and stereotyping when you say all. And I'm like, whoa, okay. No. So we just don't understand jokes.

Yeah. It's that and it's also people think, people confuse a stereotype with a negative image. And just because many male flight attendants are gay

does not mean that it's, like you're replacing some value judgment by being like, that's a stereotype. That means that's on you for making it like a negative thing. I don't think it's negative. I love my gay flight attendants. They give me boos when I'm not in first.

There you go. They're nice to me no matter where I am on the plane. One gave me three cookies. Do they give you like a knowing look? They're like, they know who you are. No, I look like a little boy when I travel. I wear like a little hat. Yes, yes.

I wear little Harry Potter glasses. I will never forget your Delta story where the piece of crap came out of the blanket. We just spoke about this. A little piece of poop. A little piece of, no, it was not a little piece. It was like a half fist. It was a sizeable piece of shit? It was like a half fist size piece of poop a little piece of no it was not a little piece it was like it was like it was like a half fist size piece of shit and so not like a baby poop like a human a human a full-grown adult human yes and delta theorized that they thought it was a disgruntled employee

i was like so you figured it out. You would, you, and I, because I kept being like, I don't know, an animal, a baby, an adult? Yes. And they were like,

disgruntled employee. It's so funny that they were like, it must be a disgruntled employee. It must be us. It must be the way that we treated one of our employees was so wretched.

I felt like I was being gaslit because they kept being like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah. And I had to keep saying it. I felt shit in my blanket. And you were like, no, probably a raccoon got on the plane. Maybe there was like something happened-hmm, mm-hmm. And I had to keep saying it. I found shit in my blanket. And you were like, no, probably a raccoon got on the plane.

Maybe there was something happening. No, no, no, sweetie, it was us. And the reason why I stood by my story is because the flight attendant, who was super gay, I told him there was shit in my blanket. He went, girl, no. In a way that he thought we were having fun. And I was like, girl, yes. And then he truly pranced in a way

like with someone like gleeful like a surprise at christmas yeah and then he like looked at it and went oh my god that's a piece of shit like and like his his head was bopping and then he went and got his phone and took a picture and i was like i don't know if that was that was supposed to go down and then i was like i have to go and he was like okay girl honestly did you get off the plane yes i had a connecting flight i had to get back to la oh okay yeah and then i tweeted at delta because i was like i can't let this go this is not something that goes swept under the rug yeah and uh i took a picture of my little blanket treat and it was like a little grainy and i kept being like i'm so sorry it wasn't clearer.

Finally, someone at Delta goes, it's not your fault. You took a grainy picture of the piece of shit that you found in the blanket. You actually didn't have to apologize one more time, like, or ever again. I think about it every time

I open up like a little plastic wrapped blanket on the plane. They do not wash these blankets. They get washed like every couple months. So i read this like very in-depth article and it was confirmed by someone at an airline yes um that they wash them every couple months but like what happens when they like clean the plane is they hold like they gather them up they bring them to a facility at the facility they just hold them up and eyeball them and then fold them back up and put them into the bags and then they get vacuum sealed the little pillowcases they don't get

washed oh my god it's crazy but you're like of course they don't there's no time yeah yeah and then your tray table never gets wiped down unless you wipe it down or it gets wiped down in the morning and then in the evening i think but like if it's making three or four trips that's three or four other people who are touching. And you don't know what the fuck they're doing. And then the people who get me are the barefoot fucking beddies. What the fuck are you doing? Which doesn't even fall along lines of like coach or first class.

No. People do it everywhere. Yes. But I want to ask a question. It's okay that I take my shoes off and keep my socks on. Yeah. What do you mean? Then you're going to slip them nasty puppies back in your shoes?

Girl, but I haven't had the same experience where there's poop everywhere. I don't know where I'm going. I'm not walking down the aisle with the socks on. Never, never, never. I have done it once in my life. One time I just could not get my shoe on because it was a real tight seat.

I was like, fuck it. And I got up and I walked my sock covered feet to the bathroom. And then once I was in there, I was like, I can't believe this. But I have seen people with bare feet go into the restroom. Oh, me too. This one lady was sitting next to me. She was caressing the wall with her nasty fucking toes.

And then she got up to the bathroom with her bare ass feet and then came out of the bathroom and said to the flight attendant, there's something on the floor. And I was like, I mean, this is on you. Like, who? Fuck. Of course there's something on the floor of the bathroom.

It's an airplane. They're disgusting. Oh, she was so gross. You need to host an expose documentary. A six part. Oh, yeah. You should. Expose on all airlines.

There's a video on Instagram. This girl breaks it down for you. She's like, don't drink the coffee or the tea. It comes from water tanks that are never cleaned. Uh, all I do is drink the coffee. Yeah.

Don't. And it does taste weird. Yeah. Don't. This is a video on Instagram. She, she has it. It's on Instagram.

It was like inside edition because inside edition be doing the Lord's hotels don't change uh the fucking sheets right right right right right no but you and then again you say of course they don't because they don't have the time they don't have the time my ass is in there being like hi I know I'm an hour and a half early but I need to get in my room right now and they're like okay sir yeah they're like great we didn't change the sheets for you it's you know how you like get in a bed sometimes and. And they're like, okay, sir. Yeah, they're like, great. We didn't change the sheets for you. It's true. You know how you get in a bed sometimes and you're like, this smells like a person. It's because somebody just slept in it.

I've known this, but hearing you clarify it is so chilling. Yes, it's gross. So on Inside Edition, there's another video on Instagram where they put that UV spray on sheets and then check put that uv spray on like sheets and then check into the hotel spray it check out and i don't know how they check back into the same room right but they did and then they like put the light on it and still there and then they would

confront the managers and the managers would be like no no we changed them they're like look at this and they're like oh no no questions please no photos no questions but at this point like you have to be as shangela called it on this podcast delta diamond fish which is that that means you have the diamond status yes i'm a diamond diva diamond it's a meatballism uh i love meatball she's my favorite queen uh but yes i'm a diamond diva a diamond diva i used to be a Delta 360. What is that? What is that? A secret club. No. Where they send you Tiffany's crystals. Shut up.

Wait, so then why are you in it anymore? What, from flying a million miles? I think it might be the shit. The shit, yeah. Because I do still fly almost the same amount, if not more. But they pick you up, if you have a connecting flight, this still sometimes happens. Yeah. If you have a connecting flight, some man in a suit will be there with your name and

then take you downstairs into a Porsche, drive you on the tarmac to your next gate so you make your flight. Oh, that's incredible. It's nice. The first time it happened, I was so high and he had my name on it and I was like, mm-mm. And he was wearing a suit and I was like, is he a cop? Yeah, no, there's no way I would believe that.

But then finally I was like, I'm her. He's like, why didn't you say so earlier? I was like, I don't know, I thought I was in trouble. You look like the shadiest motherfucker ever. It's not hospitality. But then all of a sudden it's like you're stoned. You go with a man with a suit who knows your name. Takes you down to the like street part of the airport. I'm calling it the street part.

It's the runway. The street part. You know, the street part. Yeah, the street part. Curl the road. And then they drive you up to the damn plane. Uh-huh. It is opulence at its best because then everyone stares at you.

And truly, I travel like a little boy. Yeah. I have very bad acne scars. I wear little Harry Potter glasses. I got my little hat on, my backpack. And they're like, why is she special? And I'm like, because I am. You have no idea my powers.

I love it. They don't know they're watching you on the flicks. why is she special? And I'm like, because I am. You have no idea my powers. I love it. They don't know they're watching you on the flicks. Oh, that's the best part is when you like get special treatment somewhere in public and people like look at you and they're just like confused. Yeah. The best part is that you, that like they can imagine whatever they want.

It doesn't matter. It doesn't make a difference. You're still getting the special. This is like Bowen and our friend Dave Mazzoni and I went to Universal Studios and Bowen works for the national broadcasting company Universal. And so we got this pass that allowed us to like go to the front of the line, which was only Bowen and Make-A-Wish kids were getting it. It's the Make-A-Wish pass. That's very funny. And so basically like we were just like walking up and giving them the pass.

Because he's an employee of of the company right everyone would look at us like oh okay come with us sweetheart like like it could be our like could have been our last days so funny it was chilling in a way yeah it was like and the but the way that some people would would they would take the little it was called the golden gap pass yeah they would take it on their hands and they would say oh it's now my responsibility to show you a good time come with me and like slowly walking us and are you enjoying your day is it good that we're like yeah forced kindness is so upsetting but i do love it it's it's yeah it's professional force wait talk to us about because because we cut the short newcomer so you're it's you and la I love it wait talk to us about because we cut this short newcomers so it's you and Lauren Lapkus watching the Star Wars movies

we were discussing this before we got on the air neither one of us had seen them and so on on Twitter Star Wars Star Wars so Lauren Lapkus

Nicole Byer watching Star Wars for the first time and it's a podcast about it and we're doing it in order of release

so 4, 5, 6 1, 2, 3 gotta say really confusing that way. Yes. Yes. Because you're like, wait, what? Palpatine, what?

I just watched Return of the Sith. Sith's coming? Revenge of the Sith. Sith's coming. And Palpatine, when he turns into that potato thing, it's like from The Exorcist, and everyone's just chill with it. Yeah.

I have issues with the chill factor of everybody. Sure. Okay, so I want to ask, because I actually am a Star Wars queen. Do you consider yourself a Star Wars queen? Sort of. Sort of. All right, we're going to take a quick break, and then we're going to be right back with Nicole Byer.

The Real Housewives of New York City are back for another bite of the Big Apple. Look who it is. Joined by elite new friends. Rebecca Minkoff. Have you ever heard of her? But things could change in a New York Minute. She had this wild night and ended up getting pregnant by some other guy. What?

You've told her? Not today, Satan. Not today. The Real Housewives of New York City. All new Tuesdays at 9 on Bravo or stream it on City TV+. I felt too seen. Dragged. I'm N.K. and this is Basket Case.

So I basically had what back in the day they would call a nervous breakdown. I was crying and I was inconsolable. It was just very big sudden swaps of different meds. What is wrong with me? Oh, look at you giving me therapy, girl. Finally, a show for the mentally ill girlies. On Basket Case, I talk to people about what happens when what we call mental health is shaped by the conditions of the world we live in. Because if you haven't noticed, we are experiencing some kind of conditions that are pretty hard to live with. But if you struggle to cope, the society that created the conditions in the first place

will tell you there's something wrong with you. And it will call you a basket case. Listen to Basket Case every Tuesday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This week, Charlamagne Tha God sits down with Vice President Kamala Harris for a conversation you don't want to miss. Listen, I feel very strongly I need to earn every vote, which is why I'm here having this candid conversation with you and your listeners. They tackle the big questions, politics, policy, and what's next for the country. I am running to be president for everybody,

but I am clear-eyed about the history and the disparities that exist for specific communities, and I'm not going to shy away from that. Don't miss this in-depth interview with Charlemagne Tha God

and Vice President Kamala Harris only on The Breakfast Club. Catch the full interview now on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, everybody. It's Matt Rogers.

Back when I was a server, I was one bad day away from a huge personal crisis. Thankfully, Giving Kitchen is here to serve those that serve us. Giving Kitchen is a nonprofit helping any food service worker who gets hurt, gets sick, loses a family member or their housing. That's giving relief.

So when you or someone you know is in crisis, tell them to ask for help from Giving Kitchen by visiting givingkitchen.org slash help. That's givingkitchen.org slash H-E-L-P. Together, we are Giving Kitchen. We help food service workers. Okay, and we're back with Nicole. Yes. So we actually... But you...

But here's the thing. I grew up on them. Thoughts on... Short thoughts on each of the films. The first one, A New Hope. How are you feeling? Trash. Too much desert.

Too much... A lot of desert. A lot of desert. A lot of desert. It's almost like an indie space movie. Right, exactly. Which I think it was.

it technically was a western. What? Well, they're actually space westerns. They really are. Oh. So they formulaically do follow a western. So that was the whole idea

that George Lucas had was I'm gonna make a western in space. Wow. Yes. Learning new things that I will never retain.'m gonna say this on newcomers okay give thoughts on empire strikes back i liked empire strikes back i that was the one with the the ewoks it well the ewoks come in return of the jedi so empire strikes back is when they go to the cloud city with Billy Dee Williams. Yes! I love Billy Dee! Billy Dee's very good in it.

Lando Cruzan? Lando Calrissian, but I like Lando Cruzan better. I like Miss Cruzan. Oh, okay. And then Return of the Jedi was Ewok Town, like Cuckoo, Jabba the Hutt.

Jabba's great. I love that. Wasba the Hutt. Jabba's great. I love that. Was that the opening scene in Jabba? No that's just a scene He's got Carrie Fisher in a gold bikini. Honestly. On a leash.

Wow. It is iconic. Looking at Carrie Fisher's buddy on a hike. Oh my god all that coke did you good. Let me cut that out. Can we do that?

Maybe not keep that in. No. I would say the spirit of Carrie Fisher knows she was on coke and would be cool enough to admit it. In fact, in her book, she was like so like, she was like flipping through the movie. This part I was zoned out on coke. This part I was zoned out on coke.

The way she delivers the line, like when there's a scene where, I'm a freak for Star Wars. There's a scene where like she unfreezes Han Solo Wars, there's a scene where she unfreezes Han Solo, hot Harrison Ford, out of the cryogenic leaping. And he said, who is that? And she goes, she takes off her mask and she goes, someone who loves you. And it's like, she was zoned out on coke at that point. Apparently the Hoth part, which is the ice planet,

Empire Strikes Back, they came out a few years ago and said everyone was on tons of coke doing that. Oh my God. I mean, I think that's just how movies got made back in the day. Everyone was just coked up. Well, you know that Dennis Quaid said on Watch What Happens Live that in some of his movies there was a thinly veiled coke budget. Oh my God. Yeah, and movies in the 80s had like disguised in the budgeting they had that's amazing yeah i want to time travel to that yes i want to time travel and then also morph into a white woman

so i get treated better so i can do coke all the time and get off scot-free okay so those are the originals we have mixed feelings these the new ones with natalie portman go natalie okay is trying her hardest to carry young anakin because hayden christensen my god is a a brick he truly emotes nothing so then when he turns into darth vader you're just like okay yeah sure whatever he's so he's like a wet blanket he is so fucking boring they have zero fucking chemistry none and then I'm like who's doing

Natalie Portman's hair it's different in every fucking scene yeah well she got those queen hairstylists but nobody's ever with her that's true

where are they at are we to believe that she's doing her own updos oh I mean no because there's a scene where she's brushing curls

and I was like there's no way she's doing her own hair. She's brushing out curls. George Lucas directing, okay, so you're in the corner brushing your curly hair. Natalie's like, okay, I'm dead inside doing this. Fine, whatever. I cashed the check already.

But the movie I loved the most was the Star Wars Holiday Special. What is that? I don't think we've seen it. You've never seen it? No. Diane Carroll sings a song in it. What? Is she an alien? Bea Arthur is credited as Beatrice Arthur. She is in it. There is a

drag queen who is a cooking show drag queen. This came out in the 80s? Yes, girl. It is a mess. I've never laughed harder. The first 10 minutes is Chewbacca and his family. No, Chewbacca's away, so it's his family just going,

Chewbacca's away! So it's his family. He's on a mission with Han Solo. Oh, yeah. And so his dad is itchy, his son is lumpy, and then his wife's name is Mal, which is bad in Spanish.

And she's like a bad wife. She can't cook. She also like puts on an apron at one point. You're like, you're naked. Yeah. It's honestly so special. So, okay. So you've,

the Star Wars Holiday Special ranks among your top. It is number one for me. It ranks number one. Have you seen the new, new ones? No, that's next. And I just watched the trailer for... Force Awakens. Force Awakens.

And I'm like into it, even though I'm like, who the fuck are these people? Right. Yeah. I don't know who nobody is. Well, you see original characters. You see original characters.

It's beat for beat, A New Hope. So Force Awakens like essentially recreates A New Hope in a way for the kids now. Oh. But the two new ones, there are turns. Go way off. Yeah.

I still haven't seen Rise of Skywalker. I like Rise of Skywalker and I'm very unpopular for this opinion and I cannot wait to listen and hear what you think because I think that the campiness of the old movies are actually what people loved about them

and have been what's missing from them. Don't you think that there was camp, there was some camp element to one, two and three though. I think a little bit. You're breaking me, Annie, you're breaking my heart.

Yeah, but I don't think that they knew that was camp, but I think it was camp done wrong. So like the announcers in Phantom Menace during the pod chasing scene, they say is going to last 30 minutes and then it does. Yeah. Because George Lucas doesn't understand that things don't have to be in real time.

Yep. It was very long. Those announcers are super, it's like, for what? We didn't need that. That's like the wrong type of camp. Yeah, and you also got Jar Jar Binks. Bruce Verlange was a writer on the holiday special,

so that gives you an idea of how campy it is. We love that. Good. It's great. Yeah. I'm excited to see what you think about it. And also, I would request, I know we spoke about Disney before,

you have your thoughts, but you and Lapkus should go to Galaxy's Edge. But we need to figure out how to be important people and not wait in lines. I feel like there's... Wait, what about... Oh, Jurassic...

I was going to say maybe there's a Lapkus-Jurassic World connection, but that's Universal. I feel like there's... Wait, what about... Oh, Jurassic... I was going to say maybe there's like a Labkus Jurassic World connection, but that's Universal. I feel like you guys will... You know, let's put the call out there. If you have some connection at Disney to help Nicole and Lauren sort of get us... Please help us. Please help them. You got to get them on the Rise of the Resistance. That's the new big ride there.

Is that good? We're doing it soon. We're doing it soon. I've done it and it's amazing. Is it a roller coaster? What are these? It's like a... An immersive experience. It's like new big ride there. Is that good? We're doing it soon. We're doing it soon. I've done it and it's amazing. Is it a roller coaster? What are these? It's like a Disney ride. It's like you get in a little car

and they take you around and it's like, oh God, things are going wrong. That was my impression of a droid. That's good. That's R2. That's very R2-ish.

So then, that's really good. Do you R2. That's very R2-ish. So then, that's really good. Do you, but then watching it now, do you understand Lorne? Lorne, daddy. Daddy. He's passed on two of us.

He passed on the two of us as a package deal. Is that what you're saying? No, he's passed on Nicole and I, you bitch. Stop it. Stop it. Oh my God.

Not everything's about you. Wait, are you watching the Star Wars things now and being like, I understand the cultural importance this has or no? Are you very confused by it? It's so confusing. Yeah, yeah. And then like all of the characters

have the wildest names and then like every movie will have a normal name. Like in Revenge of the Sith, there's a character named commander cody yeah but then there's like nabu dab and i'm like what nabu dabi it is so funny the way that the when you realize that like they didn't just stumble into the world with these names like someone had to name them and that man's name was george lucas and he was like this is boone de tre and she's a pilot the greatest one one. And that's Narnoon.

It's like, what? Narnoon. Narnoon. Also, his son is in Revenge of the Sith. And his son's name is Jet. And his character's name is Zet. I think I got that right. But it's like, so close.

Also, you know what Revenge of the Sith offers? An amazing instance of no. That's camp. Matt, Bowen, when I tell you I was just sitting on my floor enjoying the movie and that moment happened. Yeah.

I laughed maybe so hard that my neighbors were like, someone's dying. Yeah. I laughed so hard. It is so jarring it's from nowhere did they ask him to like dead in his voice to sound like anon christiansen it was no because it was because they did guess it was james earl jones himself to say no yes yes poor man's so funny. They should go to prison. And then I shouldn't have laughed when he got all burnt up, but like.

It was graphic. It was so wild. I was like, this is a children's movie. It wasn't a crazy. I think it was like the first one that was rated PG-13. Yes, it was. Because of his graphic burning body. Yes.

And then they just stick him in that black suit. And I'm like, you need oxygen to heal burns. Like he stinks, you know? Girl, they're a mess. It's all a mess, but that's why people like them. You know what? I am starting to see why people like them. Because it is silly and it is fun.

That's I guess why whenever anyone is like, fuck these movies, they're not like they used to be. It's like, no, you are just a grown adult. Yes. You fool. You fool. These fools, they think that these movies are going to hit them in the gut the way they did when they were a child. And then people are reading Daisy Ridley for her acting, and I'm like, have you seen Mark Hamill act?

We love the girl. We love the girl. But what are you saying? That she's as good as Mark Hamill act, we love the girl. We love the girl. What are you saying? That she's as good as Mark Hamill? I'm saying that she is doing what the other girls did not do. Which is give a performance

and meanwhile Mark Hamill's like, oh, I'm down to take up a system. Meanwhile Daisy Ridley is like giving you single tear. Adam Driver is giving you Adam Driver. Is he Cluck low cluck low rent is he cluck low rent kylo kylo it's actually good it's rule of culture number 11 is he cluck low rent cluck low rent he is cluck low rent would you fuck adam driver slash cluck low rent in a heart yeah

okay that's fine we discussed. He has this like quiet intensity to him. I mean I've never met him. This is what I'm perceiving. Just like a quiet intensity that he would like drill my hole. Yeah. Well if you've seen Girls you know that he's a real hole driller. Or at least the character

of Adam in the show was. Absolutely. Can you believe that he was in Girls? This is something so crazy to me. Is this where you're about to go down? This is something so crazy to me. The way that Adam Driver became famous was as the weirdest fuck boy in Greenpoint.

Yeah. He now has an action figure. Yeah. It's crazy what can happen for men. Nominated for an Oscar, yeah. And two times. Two times. Wait, two times? Marriage for an Oscar. Yeah. And two times. Two times. Wait, two times?

Marriage story. The marriage story. And of course. Wait, no, the one time. No, I believe he was nominated for another Oscar. For supporting. Look it up. Look it up.

While we look this up, we're going to take a quick break and we'll be right back with Nicole Byer. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City are back. I love that. I love that. Oh my gosh. Welcome. And last season's drama was just the tip of the iceberg.

You're recording us? I am disgusted. Never in a million years after everything we've been through did I think that you would reach out to our sworn enemy. We were friends. How could you do this to me? I don't trust her. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.

Wednesdays at 9 on Bravo or stream it on City TV+. I felt too seen. Dragged. I'm N.K. and this is Basket Case. So I basically had what back in the day they would call a nervous breakdown. I was crying, and I was inconsolable. It was just very

big, sudden swaps of different meds. What is wrong with me? Oh, look at you giving me therapy, girl. Finally, a show for the mentally ill girlies. On Basket Case, I talk to people about what happens when what we call mental health is shaped by the conditions of the world we live in.

Because if you haven't noticed, we are experiencing some kind of conditions that are pretty hard to live with. But if you struggle to cope, the society that created the conditions in the first place will tell you there's something wrong with you. And it will call you a basket case. Listen to Basket Case every Tuesday on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This week, Charlamagne Tha God sits down with Vice President Kamala Harris for a conversation you don't want to miss. Listen, I feel very strongly I need to earn every vote, which is why I'm here having this candid conversation with you and your listeners. They tackle the big questions, politics, policy and what's next for the country. I am running to be president for everybody, but I'm clear eyed about the history and the disparities that exist for specific communities. And I'm not going to shy away from that.

Don't miss this in-depth interview with Charlemagne Tha God and Vice President Kamala Harris, only on The Breakfast Club. Catch the full interview now on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, everybody. It's Matt Rogers. Back when I was a server, I was one bad day away from a huge personal crisis. Thankfully, Giving Kitchen is here to serve those that serve us. Giving Kitchen is a nonprofit helping any food service worker who gets hurt, gets sick, loses a family member or their housing. That's giving relief. So when you or someone you know is in crisis, tell them to ask for help from Giving Kitchen by visiting givingkitchen.org slash help. That's givingkitchen.org slash H-E-L-P. Together

we are Giving Kitchen. We help food service workers. And we're back with Nicole Byer and the information that Adam Driver was nominated for Best Supporting Actor for Black Klansman. Oh, that's right! Oh! Which you forget. And he was great in it.

I must say this. I like the movie, but I really hated that the last image of the movie was a white woman. Of Black Klansman? Yeah.

So it was, the last image was that woman who was killed I think in North Carolina. Oh, Heather. Heather Hare. Yeah.

And I get that her death was like bad. You know, all death is bad. Charlottesville, yeah. Compared to the suffering of the millions of black people. I was like, this is a black movie. Why is the last image we see of a white woman?

Oh, I'm going to get read for that. No, no, no. It's art and art is up for critique. All right, iHeartRadio has a wide reach. They're going to come for me. Look, we can cut around it if need be. No, we're not going to cut around it. Just like we're going to make sure that we feature the part where Nicole says that Carrie Fisher did coke.

Because guess what? It's actually rule of culture number 20. Carrie Fisher did coke. She did coke. And she had a healthy distance from it after sobriety. Absolutely, she did. and she had a healthy distance from it after sobriety absolutely she did so it's fine real fact though about carrie fisher she did become addicted to coke later in her life but cocaine not cocaine coca-cola the soda oh that has coke it used to have cocaine and it sure did

which is so much fun that someone's like let's make drugs bubbly yeah and drinkable yeah let's drink these drugs you're a big stoner right not a huge stoner but i do like an edible yeah okay so you know where i went last night lowell farms the weed cafe cafe is there food just weed there's food there's like weed food there's weed drinks which is why i bring this up weed drinks i like them this is the first one i had ever had it was so interesting okay Okay. Was it like a CBD or like weed? I mean, I think it was weed.

Cause gracias madre has like CBD infused. I've had a CBD like latte and it put me to bed. Yes. Yeah. Which was, which it will do. Was it, was little farms fun?

It was fun. It actually, it actually was like really cool. I will say this though. You would, you would not be surprised to hear the service was like really cool i will say this though you would you would not be surprised to hear the service was like terrible stoned the girl waiting on us was like all right guys absolutely are you guys like having the best time it's like we we ordered fries and three hours

ago she's like oh my god yes you did order fries okay i'll back. And then she was like, alright, you guys having fun? It's like, the fries! The fries, though! I just, I like smoking weed, but I can't wrap my mind around my whole personality being like, this is what I love. Yeah, no. No, no, no.

I truly think it's an age thing. For people who maintain it throughout their lives that's great but like for me it's this thing that i just kind of grew out of i still smoke it i i i would say i i do smoke every day but now it's like a before bed thing my boyfriend is the most functional stoner i've ever met in my life he smokes more weed than anyone he like wigs and bakes and like is is like able to live life and then i forget it is medicinal like that yeah uh yeah i've dated several men who would just from the time they woke up to the time they went to bed yeah smoking tons

of weed yeah and they were like fine it wasn't like we'd be together and be like you're just stoned and you're not listening it's like they listened better you know it's like i'd rather you go smoke a bowl and talk to me better i will say. I will say this. This brings it back to Star Wars, but I was a little stoned when I saw Rise of Skywalker and I made the mistake. Matt Whitaker and I went to go see it in 4DX. Oh, no. Have you experienced this?

No fucking way. It is, the chair is literally moving the entire time. If a character turns to talk to someone else, you go, I know it's crazy. No, thank you. And there's water.

They spread me in the face. Do they warn you? They do. Because my wig, well, I guess I'd wear a shower cap to the movie. You'd have to go with your plane gear. Oh my God.

Just a little hat, makeup. It was, it was crazy How wet I was at the end But you as someone who likes Theme park rides Loved it

You loved it No I mean I loved it I just thought I was a little nervous Because like I went with a friend Who's a little sensitive To that motion

And I was like The whole time I was kind of like Oh no Now I'm gonna have to worry Like is he gonna hate this Like while the church Is literally going like this But he dropped in

And had a good time You get used to it after a while. You do. Because Julio and I went to go see Maleficent, Mistress of Evil with 4DX. Sounds unnecessary. And it was truly wild. You and Julio seeing Maleficent, Mistress of Evil in 4DX. The stupidest thing.

Is so dumb. But truly on brand, I feel. Yeah, very on brand for both of us. But it was just not necessary at all. And actually, we will be embarrassed for this in three years minimum. No! Right? I think it's so stupid.

No, no, no. For this trend of 40X. Oh, no. I think it's great. I didn't even know it was a thing. Oh, no. You should honestly pick something so insane. But where do I go out here?

I would imagine they have it at like any of the big- City Walk? Probably. Probably City Walk. Any Regal in LA? The one, well, I think I saw it in New York with Matt. So that was like, and we saw it at a Regal. Yeah, Regal theaters have it.

I love that movie theaters are trying everything to get people to come to. They're like, we'll give you as much booze as you want. You want food? We'll give you food. You want chairs that fucking swivel? This is Like a Boss. 4D XXXXXX.

Like a Boss. Remember when Like a Boss came out? We should have seen it. We should have seen it. Did you see it? No. I didn't. I didn't make it.

I didn't make it to the theater. It's for us it's truly women and gay men yes it's it's like the nicole byron matt rodgers bowen yang of movies it really is not for anyone else but it was only for us it's one of those movies that i'm just gonna watch at home i know yeah that's the thing it's like and i'll tell you who was so funny promoting it was salma hayek she was on every talk show being like, this is funny. This movie is funny. And it was just like,

you could tell they were like, send Salma out and let her do whatever. But talk about someone who's gotten lost in the conversation, but who is fun and crazy. Salma Hayek is a good time. She's a good time. Do you remember when she breastfed someone else's baby? No. No.

What? Tell us. I think maybe she just had a baby at some point. And I'm not sure where she was. Hold on, let me Google this. She was offering the titty to the children of others. She breastfed another woman's baby. I hope I'm not making this up.

What a wild thing to make up. It sounds like it tracks. I mean, yeah. She's the giving type. I mean, also, did you see Rose Domi's interview with her? Rose Domi with Out Magazine. No, I didn't see this.

Like, somehow, because she's in the Eternals that's coming out soon. Yes, she is. And so Rose was like, how do you feel about Marvel introducing queer characters into the universe?

And then she gave just a really sweet answer. She was like how do you feel about Marvel like introducing queer characters into the universe and then she like gave just like a really sweet answer she was like I think it's amazing and we get to see you know people as

gay people as normal not that they're not normal but you know she like dips into this like really like yikes territory and then she immediately

swings out of it and it's great I found it you found it okay give the tea Salma Hayek said her decision to breastfeed another woman's child was an attempt to diminish the stigma placed on women for breastfeeding.

Well, at the time she was still breastfeeding her one year old daughter. So she snatched some baby. So she said, give me your daughter. Give me your child. She needs a titty. That's amazing. She needs a titty. Your daughter needs a titty. She needs a titty. That's amazing. She needs a titty. Your daughter needs a titty.

She needs a titty. I am in the eternals. And then I'm like, what if that baby hadn't latched onto the mother yet? Cause sometimes that's hard for women. Right. And then that baby was like, I love Salma Hayek's titty.

And then this woman's just like, I'll go kill myself. Bye mom. Look at these Salma Hayek titties. Once upon a time in Mexico titties. You can't compete with Salma Hayek titties once upon a time in Mexico titties you can't compete with Salma Hayek titties it's just me and Antonio Banderas

on these titties oh my god and a French billionaire I think yes she's a billionaire her last name is Pinot oh really

yes she's actually rich as absolute fuck that's like Eve Eve is married to a very rich investing man yeah yeah yeah wait celebrities that are billionaires

that you did not know salma eve eve i believe tina turner i think she's married to some yes i think you're right and that's how she can businessman because she lives in like sweden only and doesn't come to the states ever um julia louis dreyfus born a billionaire yes oh did you know this no like i don't know how like her family is like international like i want to say they're like in shipping like but i could be making that up does this sound weird like it does not take away from not at all how i enjoy her no that sounds gross i think she's a very grounded actress she's very funny yeah mean, she's actually one of the tops. So funny.

Veep is so good. It's absurd how funny it is. My God. Yeah. And it was one of those shows, too. It's like, you know how people were like, oh, 30 Rock, you know, over the years, it's gotten, like, not as funny?

I actually would disagree so much. I think we're just desensitized to how funny it is. I agree. A style of sitcom. I just watched're just desensitized to how funny it is. I agree. A style of sitcom that was, I just watched the 100 episode special again last night and I was laughing my damn ass off. It's so fucking funny. I actually think it hurt Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt too

that 30 Rock was so funny because everyone is used to that level of excellence from Tina and Robert Carlin, I think. Yeah, yeah. But they're working on a new show that looks very, Holly Hunter and Ted Danson. Holly Hunter. I mean, what a dream.

Truly. I was like, is there a part for me? And they were like, goodbye, Nicole. Oh, you have to be... How did they even say goodbye, Nicole? Like, no, Nicole. Are you having your door knocked down? No.

What are you talking about? But you're undeniable. No. I feel like you are the biggest star. No, I still audition. Well, yeah, but... That's ridiculous. I still... Yeah, I mean, it's interesting.

A lot of parts that I go out for go to unknown people. Really? And I'm like, why are we giving them chances? Truly though. I've been known. I did the work. Please just give me a part. That's so crazy to me.

But it's not like a window that's like in fixed in one place it's like it it will all come I feel like I might just be speaking from a place of like total out of touchness but it's it's I'm just like oh this stuff all just happens when it needs to yeah no that's how

I feel I think everything happens for a reason I think you get things when you're ready for them but you're like you get things when you're ready for them. But you're like, you've been ready. She ready. Oh wait, you got it. Did I just come up with something?

That was brand new. Is this mine? That's original. Is she ready? Is this my gift for you? Remember that white woman on the red carpet? Do you remember? Oh my God.

Do you remember that? Yes. Okay. She ready. She ready. No, she goes She ready She's ready

Yes And the she's Is what got me And then I retweeted it And I said This is a hate crime And

People were like You don't understand What a hate crime is And I was like You don't understand What a I don't Not satire

But like Just a joke It's a joke. Why would you ever think? I actually thought that was it. And then Tiffany was like, that's my girl. And I was like, Tiffany, you don't get that I'm kidding. It was like a whole thing.

Oh my God. Come on. It's, oh. She ready. She's ready. She's ready. I watched it maybe a hundred times like it's Dora the damn explorer she's ready

oh my god are you ready well here's the thing we have to ask the question of oh yes because we have not yet asked it and here's the question that we ask you Nicole Byer this is the podcast last culture is that's where we're exploring your culture that defined and helped curate the person that you are. So we ask you, Nicole, what was the culture that made you say culture is for me?

Okay. I really thought about this. Yeah. And I was like, what is it? Was it like sneakers? Because I love sneakers for a while. Was it like fake nails? I loved intricate fake nails for a while.

Was it wigs? Was it weaves? And it out it's reality television yes this is a huge thing like talk shows specifically like jenny jones yep ricky lake and maury give it up where am i fucking everything growing up like oh and jerry springer let's not forget about that and i understand that a lot of it was staged right like growing up i thought it was all real i thought these people really acted like this in real life i was like well they could be crazy i guess i could be a little wild too but just how staged is it is there like a definitive answer to this do they kind of give after situations or is it real people like what's happening i think they're real people, maybe with real issues.

And then maybe producers like put like a chocolate in their head to be like, maybe you say this to your friend who cheated on you or whatever. Because if you remember Jenny Jones, I think she ended her show because it was an episode where a gay man came out to like a childhood friend and the childhood friend didn't take it well and murdered that gay man. I'm like 90% sure this is the story. Wow, I think you may be right.

So like, yeah, like reality and like talk shows like that, it's like, it toes the line between like, like, is this, is this like, okay? Are these people well? Like, I love 90 Day Fiance. These people are fucking fantastic idiots. I love them so much. Even the ones who aren't are like, whoa.

Like, on this season, there's that girl who's in Jersey who's just, like, very much an activist, very smart. Yes. Do you know what I'm talking about? Are you talking about Tanya? Tanya, she's like... Tanya and Sinjin? Yes tanya she's like tanya and sinjin yes yes you like tanya well i'm not i'm not saying i like her but it's like it's not

just stupid people yes she is like an activist she is like a hippie dippy spiritual person she seems like a very like la girl but then you're like the way she talks to her fiance is crazy and then during their 90 days together they only have 90 days to get married. She left for 30 of those days to become a witch doctor in Costa Rica. And so you're just like, is this real? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so good.

And you truly can track your fascination with a 90 day fiance now, back to the way you latched onto Jenny Jones and Ricky Lincoln. Yes, Yeah. And like when I was little, it would like inspire me to do things. I remember this specific Ricky Lake episode where this woman had her hair

weaved up into a helicopter that worked. And I remember being little Nicole being like, that lady could have a helicopter. I can have anything on my head. Wait, wait, wait. See, she was actualizing what my head. Wait, wait, wait. See?

She was actualizing what Gaga tried to do during Heartbop. Turn herself into a human airplane. Yes, this black woman did it. And she did it well. I mean, she didn't float up into the air, but she did it. Well, did it work? It worked. The propellers worked.

Wait, wait, wait. We're saying. What? Did I answer the question? It worked as in it went. Wait, wait, wait. We're saying... What? Did I even answer the question? It worked as in... It went... But she lived off the ground. Yeah.

Because she couldn't support her body. Why not? The propellers on the side worked. The one on the top worked. It was amazing. I was like, this woman's incredible. That's the first time I saw strippers on a stripper pole. I was like, I love that.

That's cool to me. Like, yeah, these talk shows... My name is Victoria. a stripper pole. I was like, I love that. That's cool to me. Yeah, these talk shows. My name is Victoria, and I'm gonna have a baby. Well, my mama says, I'm gonna have a baby. I'm gonna give my baby whatever it wants. If my baby was cold, I'm gonna give it a blanket. If my baby needs a blanket, then if I can't afford it,

then I guess I have to sell it. Yep, I love those teens that were like, I fucked the whole neighborhood so I don't have a baby. I'm not having sex with one, not two, but three different guys. And the only my stupid mother could do is to change my mind. And then the poor mother. She was like, Victoria, why are you doing this? Why? She was so sad. The saddest person.

And Victoria was, no, I don't care. I don't care. I don't have a baby. Yeah. Like, oh, man. I literally dream of acting like that with my mother. My mother was so strict. And I would like live vicariously through these scenes

who were like slutty and stealing. And then I loved when they went to boot camp and someone would scream at them. They did that to this girl. I know, they did do that to this girl. And then I remember like, Maury was having the time of his life because he was like, Victoria's mother, there's more.

Watch this clip. And it was just Victoria direct to Camby. I'm like, mom, I know I told you that I never had sex in your bed, but I did. And I've had sex in your bed upwards of a hundred times. And I'm not going to stop. And then they come back to the mother. the mother's so sad so sad and maury's like what do you feel about that how do you how do you feel she's like i feel bad i feel really really bad also okay maury the camera operators like whoever

told them to chase these people like was it a producer or was it one brave camera op that was like, oh, no, good shit, my camera's down there. Honestly, they must have all, like, seen combat in their life. Like, what qualifies you? And Maury, I think, was very particular in the way that it, like, punched in on people. Yes. It swiveled this way, like, crazy.

Wait, what was your, could you pick a favorite out of those shows? Like, I'm gonna say mine is Jennyenny jones but i think mine was jenny jones i just loved jenny because she was so she would just try to be so reasonable and she didn't seem like she was in on the show like maury has really like over the years leaned into what his show is wow he's still on yes girl cuckoo yeah i didn't know that yes maury still comes on he is so old and he's still going you are not the father it is in those are the only episodes really now everything else is kind of like untouchable because like you can't send teens to boot camp now no and then you can't

do like i'm gonna come out to you because like you don't know these people might be fucking crazy yeah so truly that's like all they do or like where are they now you get some of those oh my god i used to love the big baby ones what is it just babies that are big my baby yeah can open the refrigerator and i i put a lock on it and then you see the baby oh it's the best oh honestly there is something to the narrative of you are not the father it's always going to be satisfying to find out it's like those makeover reveals yeah it's like that and makeover reveals are always going to work it's like i'm always going to see what this bitch looks like by the time they're done yes always it's high stakes it is just high stakes

you are not the father and then what if you are my God, that is a huge thing to find out. Yeah, it's great. It's great. Jenny Jones was my favorite because she seemed so far removed from it. She was not in the same world as what was going on on stage. Springer would like poke and prod in very like interesting ways.

Well, he's like porn. And then also like he would let his audience say shit. It was just like, they would like dog pile on these people. Yeah. Springer was garbage. But I did love that women would come out shoeless, prepared to fight. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Ready to go.

Ready to go. And I was like, this, I don't know if it was staged, but I was like, yeah, you can't just let people fight on camera. No. What if someone gets hurt? But it's so satisfying. It's so good. They really, you know, Jerry Springer's like bodyguard, the guy that would like.

Steve Wilcox got his own show. Yes, he became a celebrity. He tried to be like Dr. Phil and that's why I don't like his show. Oh, he tried to be like very philosophical. He tried to drop it in. Yeah, and I'm like, I don't know if you got a brain. No. Yeah.

But Springer made it work at the end where, you know, take care of yourselves and each other. Yes. Like, I mean, all those little like mini monologues at the end of each show. Oh yeah, he would always do the final word.

Final word. It was, those were always very well conceived, I thought. And that is gaslighting you into thinking that's like worth it. But I guess the thought was probably we showed people an hour of trash. We better say like one redeemable thing. Yeah, yeah the thought was probably, we showed people an hour of trash. We better say, like, one redeemable thing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I wonder if Jerry Springer still comes on. I don't know if he's still on the air hosting the show, but if you're telling me Maury is still on. He is. So these people on television that are still on, like, I guess Pat Sajak, like, still hosts Wheel of Fortune. Sure does.

Vanna White's still up there spinning those tiles. Alex Trebek is still hosting Jeopardy. Alex Trebek going to the bitter end. Really? I mean, those are relics. Not even in terms of age, but in terms of television. No, but those things have been on since the late 80s, early 90s. Yeah, it's crazy. It's crazy.

Maybe even before that. That was culture that was like a culture moment when you like the seven o'clock moment before like yes real tv quote unquote would come on like the wheel of fortune jeopardy of it all and then the dates did you watch soaps did you guys watch soaps my mother loved soaps my mother would tape soaps and then when she did laundry at night just like catch up catch up on her stories. Same. Loved them. I couldn't get into them. Yeah.

It's hard. But Passions I would watch. Passions. I was an ABC girl so it was all my children. That's what my mother watched. Yeah. And Days of Our Lives.

And General Hospital. General Hospital, Port Charles. My mother watched Port Charles. One Life to Live. Those were like the ones because they all were on like the Pine Valley universe. You know who loves this shit?

Ira Madison. Oh, great. Like it's like a soap queen. But I'm telling you, some of these plot lines, it's like you wish they were still on because they are so fucking stupid. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It is basically you are not the father of the fictional show. I love that. Wait, oh my God. But how do you feel about the landscape now? Because you're like a multiple, you and Wendy are pals. I love Wendy. Wait, oh my God, but how do you feel about the landscape now? Because you're like a multiple, you and Wendy are pals. I love Wendy Williams. Yes.

We, I, despite all this, despite all the stuff that's gone down lately with Wendy, I'm still like, it's entertaining. Here's the thing, Wendy is an old woman who truly does not think before she speaks. And she means well, ultimately.

And she knows that her own issues. Yes, of course. She's had a tough ass year. Yes. But anytime you go on, you can tell she loves you. She is very kind to me. And one of her producers was like,

she actually thinks you're funny. And I was like, actually? I was like, that means she tells them when she doesn't like somebody. I bet. But yeah, she's fun. I really like her. No, she actually,

we interviewed her for her Vulture Fest tribute and she was all business. Oh. And we didn't really get the how you do it moment with her. We checked in with her before the talk. This was May of 2018. And I think it might have been in the throes of a tough time. She was still with Kevin though.

Wait, did she faint in 2018 or 2017? She fainted 2017. This was after she had fainted. Yeah. Gotta say, she served face when she went down. Oh yeah. It's gorgeous.

It's a saved gif on my phone. Oh yeah. Dressed as the Statue of Liberty herself. Yes, like, is there anything campier? Do you know what I mean? No.

It's perfect. Of course. It's gay culture. I love it. Yeah. She knows what a moment that was. It's true. I think it's also, it's kind of goofy that like people would pick on her now.

Of course, it's bad that she said the going down thing about. What did she say? So what she said was, well, this is a tragic story, but Drew Carey's ex-girlfriend was pushed to her death by, I guess, a boyfriend or another ex-boyfriend and she passed away and so drew carrie host the price is right and wendy williams was talking about this and she said come on down which is like brutal and no one in the i mean we laugh because it's so insane we're not laughing no no one is laughing um i'm only laughing because nicole is i mean it's because it's so crazy it's but see you can't say that no no you can't theoretically it is a good joke

if you break it down come on down as a phrase that is set on The Price is Right. But there's a- Um, girl, came on down. Yes. So like, theoretically, good job. Yeah, I mean- But- It's just a too soon situation. Very too soon. I think it would also always be too soon. Of course. This is my thing with Wendy,

and this is my favorite thing about Wendy, is that she did this whole tearful apology the other day about saying that, you know, gay men shouldn't do drag because women go through, you know, menses and all this stuff. And then she apologizes for it because she didn't know it was transphobic or whatever.

And then she says in the video, I never, anything I do on the show never comes from a place of malice. Which is not true. Which is like her being like, well, Rita Ora looks like a fucking bag on fire. Premise of the Wendy Williams show is so she could shit on people on camera

so that they would know what she looked like as she shat on them. Because she did that for years on the radio and she was like, give me a TV show. We were, one day we were amusing ourselves by doing a Wendy Williams. Oh, it was just Matt. I take no part in this.

It was Matt doing a Wendy Williams impression. Here's my Wendy Williams impression. You unwrap a little mint. Cherry, a cherry. You take too long time to say anything and you go. Cough trap. Looks like Angelina Jolie's

in the news. And everyone screams. Rita Ora's out. Truly? We'll just spend 30 seconds in silence unwrapping. You should just picture her Beyonce.

She just keeps her audience in full blown suspense. I'm here for it. And they love it. Well, actually, you know what's happening? What? Is we're actually reaching the point in the episode where we do I Don't Think So Honey. Yes, yes, yes. So this is I Don't Think So Honey.

And this is your first ever I Don't Think So Honey Nicole Byer. Yes, I've never done it. Because we've asked you to do the show. And I have not been available. And you have not been available. But this is a first ever, I don't think so, honey, Nicole Byer. Yes, I've never done it. Because we've asked you to do the show. And I have not been available. And you have not been available, but this is a moment in time. A moment in time. I also can't believe, it's because we don't record episodes in LA, but I feel like this is like a podcast you should have been on 19 times already.

Absolutely. And now that we're here in Los Angeles. Just so you know, I've wanted to be on for a long time. Oh my God, Nicole Byer. Literally, you've been top of our list. And when we come back to LA, you're either in New York or traveling or whatever. I didn't want to ask because I didn't want. Well, I know. Literally, you've been top of our list. And then like when we come back to L.A., like you're either in New York or traveling or whatever.

I didn't want to ask because I didn't want to seem like I was thirsty. No, girl. You're welcome anytime. You are the creme de la creme. Truly the ideal guest for the show. The ideal goose.

And that's why we said, well, if we're going to have a first guest, let's have it be the one. Let's have it be the one. Podcast queen. And so this, for everyone that's catching up, maybe you're a new fan of the podcast. If this is your first time listening,

because of our new daddies and mommies, iHeartRadio, thank you for making it to this point. What's I Don't Think So Honey, Beau? I Don't Think So Honey is our one minute segment. We take one minute to rail on something against culture or in our lives, anything in general, while repeating the phrase I Don't Think So Honey, if we'd like. And going absolutely off. It's about

an economy of rage. Yes. So I actually have one. Okay, you have one. So this is Matt Rogers' I don't think so, honey, as time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Yes, we're going back to planes. People who have a problem with my ass reclining. Okay, so all of a sudden in the news, absolute fools are saying I need to turn

around and ask you if I need to recline. Bitch, no. I don't think so, honey. You're going to make this an issue now after people are already in my lap for decades? Girl, no. It is the wild west up in the sky. I will be reclining as much as I damn like as far as this can go absolutely back. I do think so, honey.

30 seconds. You tapping on my shoulder and being like, hey, I'm so sorry. Could you move it up a little bit? Because yes, I have been you. I have had a man in my lap and I don't like it. I don't think so, honey. So I am willing to have a collaboration, but don't think I'm going to ask first.

15 seconds. And I definitely don't think so, honey. The CE motherfucking O of Delta being like, I'm going to weigh on on this with my dumb ass and say, yes yes you should ask people to recline. Five seconds. No! I don't think so honey that I don't think so honey that the coffee's bad

I've been drinking that. And that's one minute. Girl. Wow. A lot of plane stuff this episode. A lot. It's a plane centric episode but can you believe this shit? I mean that video is nuts. The video is insane. Like that man is a lunatic no he should go to jail truly yes take him straight from the plane to jail he is crazy

and the fact that the woman had like the foresight to record it and not just be like what yes she probably was like stop it and he was like no and then she's like great i'll record you can you even believe that people act like fucking children on fucking planes. Oh, yeah. It's the worst behavior. I've had my bad moments because I feel that once you get up there, you do become a different and darker version of yourself. But some people, it's beyond.

But there's something recognizable in the guy. In a way that's not in yourself, but you're like, I've seen this man before. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Very entitled and like, I need to get my way yeah yeah yeah yeah oh so it's just like it was he was like the last seat of the plane you chose that yeah yeah or like you didn't pay enough money to choose a seat so sorry sorry that's the way it is and also it's like we are all at the end of the day human beings yeah and you some on some of those planes you cannot sleep when you're upright it's

your body it's not a good position for the body yeah no i couldn't believe when he was shaking that seat so hard but like now she's moving now it's like the motherfucker that's in charge of delta and i say this as a delta girl is gonna come out and side with right essentially him right what also it's a thing where it's like and someone wrote this in vulture wrote about this in vulture it's like if there's a button on the chair that does the thing that you're everyone is allowed to do yeah it's not up for discussion yeah you're able to do it so you shouldn't ask for yeah you didn't break the seat to make it happen exactly anyway okay this is gonna be bowen yang oh god okay to see the

thing is bowen yang often doesn't have no no i have one he does have one okay this is going to be Bowen Yang's. Oh, God. Okay. See, the thing is, Bowen Yang often doesn't have one. No, no, no. I have one. He does have one. Okay, this is Bowen Yang's I Don't Think So Honey. His time starts now. I Don't Think So Honey motherfucking jade rollers, bitch. Mine broke in half on the way here, but then I realized, wait, this whole thing is bullshit.

And for the beauty bloggers out there who are going to come for me and say blah, blah, blah, who are going to try to explain my culture to me don't even try look jade rollers you put them in the fridge and you roll them on your face and they're supposed to tighten your pores or like drain out the lymph up or something I don't think someone no no no no

but see this is not real this is 30 seconds I am picturing my mother when I was like 10 years old just rolling around her face and being like, looking at it and being like, this is bullshit. This doesn't work and putting it away. And that is locked into my memory for the rest of time.

It's pseudoscience. It's not real. Even the Chinese people don't think it's real. So if you're good, if you're looking up a video on YouTube of like an Asian woman with a huge mole on her face saying, this is how you use a gua sha jade roller and you believe it to be true. You have to dispel that from

your mind. Jade rollers are bad. They break and they're a scam on Amazon. That's one minute. And that's one minute. Okay. And now I, if there's anyone I would trust for critique on creature comforts, it is Moen. Oh my God. Sashir, my dear friend, loves a jade roller. It doesn't do anything.

She's got a very sick disease. She's got great skin. She's got amazing skin. But also she does other things. It's not just, it's, no. It's the other stuff. It's not correlation.

I would tell Sashir to her face that she has a very sick disease and it's taking over her brain. Absolutely. It's taking over her brain. It's taking over her brain. But there you go. I'm not going to invest in that one.

No, not at all. Please don't. Okay. This is Nicole Byers time now. Are you ready? Yes. Okay. It's taking over her brain. But there you go. I'm not going to invest in that one. No, not at all. Please don't. Okay. This is Nicole Byers' time now. Are you ready? Yes. Okay.

She's got one. It's going to pop off. She's going to pop off. This is Nicole Byers. I don't think so. Your time starts now. Okay. So I was on www.oldnavy.com and I know it's not opulence.

It's not luxury. But I was looking for affordable pants, okay? And why, to my surprise, is Old Navy selling bootcut jeans again? I don't think so, honey. What kind of boots are we trying to cover with jeans? Also, if you are wearing boots, don't you want the people to see that? They're not straight leg. They're not layers. They're not straight leg. They're not layers.

They're not wide leg jeans. They're just some middling in between type of pants. Who the fuck wants to wear it? I don't think so. Honey, if I see you on the streets wearing boot cut jeans, I will spit in your face, spit in your cunt, and knock you down the stairs and say, you stupid fucking bitch. Five seconds. And then I will rip them off of you. And then I will sew them to

a proper width and put them back on you and let you back into the world. And that's one minute. Essentially a helpful young woman. Very helpful. Bootcut jeans, it's true. People be trying to, and this is just when I'm wrapping my head around high-waisted. Very helpful. Bootcut jeans, it's true. People be trying to, and this is just when I'm wrapping my head around

high-waisted. I know. I like a high-waisted, the bootcut, I cannot. Why? Who's covering a boot? Here's the deal. Nicole has somewhere to be. She's a show, she's a working comedian. Catch her at Arlington, catch her in Nashville. Please buy her book.

Get this damn book. Watch all of her programs. Listen to all her podcasts. We love her in nashville please buy this damn book watch all of her programs listen to all her podcasts we love her so much thank you so much for doing this and thank you for sticking around having me oh my god thanks for like squeezing me and you moved your photo shoot thank you so much that's because we knew it was the moment and there couldn't we could not i had a little moment in between therapy and a show. Yes. So I said, better hop on a microphone and talk. Yes. So you were squeezing us in. So we were both squeezed in and actually,

we're going to squeeze one thing out before we go, which is we end every episode with a song. A song. You go. Oh.

Give me one moment in time When I'm all that I thought I could be then in that one moment of time I will be I will be I will be I will be for real Watching Bowen struggle

to pretend that he knew that song was slow. We'll see you next time. Sniffy's Cruising Confessions will broaden minds and help you pursue your true goals. You can listen to Sniffy's Cruising Confessions, sponsored by Gilead, now on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes every Thursday. I'm NK, and this is Basket Case. What is wrong with me? A show about the ways that mental illness is shaped by not just biology. Swaps of different meds.

But by culture and society. By looking closely at the conditions that cause mental distress, I find out why so many of us are struggling to feel sane, what we can do about it, and why we should care. Listen to Basket Case every Tuesday on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Stick to sports, shut up and dribble. Despite what some people believe, sports and politics have mixed from the beginning. Now you have a podcast that isn't afraid to explore the complicated relationship between sports and politics with a new podcast called Spolitics with me, Jemele Hill. I'll be discussing political, social, and economic issues

through the lens of sports with some of the biggest names and smartest people. So here's the assignment. Listen to Spolitics on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Let's get Spolitical. I'm Joe Gatto. I'm Steve Byrne. Together we do the Two Cool Moms podcast, which is a podcast where we help dispense advice to our loyal listeners. Everybody has an issue. Everybody has something that they need help with. Right. And that's where we come in. Because our moms were cool moms.

We like to think that we have inherited their maternal advice. And we try to just do some good. Besides being comedians, we love to help. Guys, bring us your queries. They could be personal questions. They could be serious. They could be lighthearted. Yeah.

But know this. We are here for you. Yeah, you can find us wherever you listen to your podcasts or on the iHeartRadio app.