Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - "Farm To Runway" (w/ James Anderson)

Episode Date: October 30, 2019

This episode James Anderson joins Matt and Bowen to discuss camp, favorite parts of the male body, classic gay SNL sketches, working in fashion, and more!MERCH! MERCH! GET YOUR LAS CULTURISTAS MERCH!https://www.teepublic.com/stores/las-culturistasSUBSCRIBE ON APPLE PODCASTS TODAY!CONNECT W/ LAS CULTURISTAS ON FACEBOOK & TWITTER for the best in "I Don't Think So, Honey" action, updates on live shows, conversations with the Las Culturistas community, and behind-the scenes photos/videos:www.facebook.com/lasculturistastwitter.com/lasculturistasLAS CULTURISTAS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST. LAS CULTURISTAS IS PRODUCED BY EMMA FOLEY.http://foreverdogproductions.com/fdpn/podcasts/las-culturistas/ Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Look, man. Oh, I see. Wow. Bowen, look over there. Wow, is that culture? Yes. Oh, my goodness. Wow. Las C over there. Wow, is that culture? Yes. Oh my goodness. Wow.

Las Culturistas. Ding dong, Las Culturistas calling. Oh. Well, if it isn't you. Ooh, this is one of the last episodes that we're recording together while we're both New York City residents. Truly.

I'm fucking out of here. Mournful, mournful moment. I gotta go. And it's not, it's not, it's not goodbye. See you later. Sure.

But did, did you ever have like a seven year itch moment where you were like, I gotta leave. But then did it like come back? Did you like come back around? Like, Oh, I actually like the entire time I was in New York.

I was like, I'm never leaving New York. And then I left New York for 15 minutes and was like, Oh, forget it. Okay. That's how that went. Wow.

Because now it's like, now it's just like, you guys know you don't have to live here, right? Yeah. Well, you have to live here. Our guest has to live here. Right. For work. For work. But in general, it's like there's so many more habitable places elsewhere.

But the habitable places aren't too far from here either. I also, I'm making a mental note right now to ask our guest where he actually lives year round because I think I know the answer. I think I might know the answer. Okay, well this is, but we haven't brought her in yet. We haven't brought her in yet. That's not time for her.

Okay. So this is what I want to say to you. Yes. I'll be back all the time and you'll come to me. See, that's the thing though, is that like on my time off, I don't know if I'll want to all the time And you'll come to me See that's the thing though Is that like On my time off I don't know if I'll want to be in LA

People Necessarily Okay well the thing is like You'll make sacrifices For our friendship Right? Yeah Yeah

And you'll make sacrifices For our friendship Right but I won't be coming here all the time This is the way It's a two way street And I won't be going there all the time So I don't know Who said all the time

I said sometimes Something's gotta fucking get. I actually said the next time that we should record a bunch of episodes because we are backlogging famously. Yes. That you should come to me because we have, we, we've interviewed every, every bitch here. We have, we've done it. We've talked to everyone in New York.

Meanwhile, we have people in Los Angeles. There's a long list of people. When's my turn? Saying when's my turn, we have people in Los Angeles. There's a long list of people saying, when's my turn? And I go to Los Angeles and I go off the plane. And they say, when's my turn? When's my turn? I'm saying we need Bo and Yang to come out there. Because I'm not hosting it with Joel Kim Booster. I'm not.

Oh? I'm not doing it. He's got his own podcast. He's got his own podcast now. Well, okay. I'll do that. I will do that. We have to make it work

because a lot of people are questioning me saying what about the pod? What about the pod? I said the pod is something that we put up on a high pedestal. We will do it until we die. Yeah. I think so.

What is your thing with LA? You feel like you can't have a vacation there? It's not anything about LA. It's just that it is such a I go there and I think okay, it's You're not relaxed. I'm not relaxed.

Okay. That's all it is. It's a frame of mind, hun. Okay. Alright. Get yourself in a good frame of mind. How about that for once? Okay.

I just Okay. I just think there's just so many hurdles. So many little there's just so many hurdles so many little there's a thousand you know points of

a thousand little needles a thousand little needles a thousand no no there's a front runner for title of this episode there's a Confucian saying a thousand daggers

it's like a thousand daggers that's what Confucius said like life is a life is a thousand joys and daggers or something that like you get the good you get bad, but it's all life. Yeah, so that's what... Come to LA to record episodes with me.

What the fuck? I will. Bring Confucius into this? Oh my God. We have to bring the most perfect person there is. This is the thing. It's like, do you remember? Oh.

I know you do. We, before you worked oh I know you do we before you worked at the institution when we met him when we met him we were guests of Sudi Greens

yes and we said to Sudi hello we're here to be your guest for this episode we were in the writers room and she said let's just go to my office

and drink which is my favorite series of words this was this was the Julia Louis Dreyfus episode of season 41. Something like that. And we went up to the writer's area.

Yes. And we were introduced to this man, our guest today. Our guest today. And we got to talking. And then you and I both had this feeling. I had this feeling in my brain, heart, and loins that I needed to ask a question.

And I was like, do you remember a sketch called Deep House Dish? And he said, yeah, that was me. And that's when I realized he had written

Deep House Dish. And then you guys went off about Deep House Dish. And that's when I realized he also had written Gaze in Space. And then I think

I'm going to say that I was the one who asked him, did you have anything to do with Gaze in Space? And then I think I, I'm going to say that I was the one who asked him, and were you, did you have anything to do with Gaze in Space? And from there, it was revealed to me and to you that he had written everything I connected with throughout my whole,

pretty much like awareness of SNL that this man had written. For me, it was just like he had written everything that I was just like, because you know, it's this thing that we talk about all the time here where it's just like, you latch onto something growing up and you don't know why.

You don't know why. And then like when you grew up, it all makes sense. Yeah. I mean like that's, that's what it was. That was that. That was that.

And so I think I even had like a moment of faggotry where I was like, you don't understand how seen you made me feel as a gay kid. And he was like, wow, this is a lot. But it was a very fun moment to have that. And then I think you and I talked about it for like so, so long afterwards. We did. Afterwards we were gagged.

We were just like, wow, what a true, true joy and how lucky are we that we got to tell him how much he means to us. Veteran, veteran, legendary SNL writer. SNL writer, star of Hudson Valley Ballers. I love Hudson Valley Ballers. Paula Powell.

Yes, and I stan Paula. And we stan Paula. You know, I met Paula, I interviewed her at Sundance and I was too like, sort of like. Yeah, yeah. The boundaries are weird. Yeah, I was just like, kind of tiptoeing around it, but I was too like sort of like yeah yeah the boundaries are weird yeah I was I was just like kind of

tiptoeing around it but I was like I was I don't know what would I have said I've met James sure and she would have been like

great she would have been like fuck you get the fuck out of my face I'm here to talk about wine country I'm here to talk about wine country

I'm here to talk about documentary now documentary now great by the way anyway who are we talking about here, Vaughn? We're talking about the one, the only, please welcome into your ears, James Anderson. Hi, James.

Hi. Hi. No. No. Don't do this. No, I'm going to have this voice for this podcast. No, don't have this mask drag here. How dare you?

Stop it. I'm losing my headphones. See, the masculinity knocked your headphones right off your damn head. It did. Okay, James, was that night truly a lot for you? Were you just like, who are these two? No, I loved it. I don't think of anything like that.

And you guys were so wonderful that night and talking about it. It just made me feel like, oh, I'm doing something more than just being silly, maybe. I don't know. No, but I actually think it was like, it probably like when you were writing that stuff like it didn't feel like it just felt like oh finally thank god I got something on but for watching it at home I was like

oh my god and I remember like my this is like whatever but my straight friends like also liked all those sketches because I think they weren't thinking of it as like like gay humor they thought about just like SNL meanwhile I knew it was like inherently queer like watching Maya come out and the, Ooh,

out to space. Like that was like, there was something about that where I was just like, this is for me in such a deep way that I could never understand. All the stars are out tonight. Moonlight in your hair. Feels so right. Nothing bigger than Jupiter.

Gaze in space. The thing is like, now you have to like really dig to find it, but you should dig to find it feels so right. Ain't nothing bigger than Jupiter. Gaze in space. The thing is like, now you have to like really dig to find it, but you should dig to find it. Oh yeah. Oh my God. Those were so fun. I mean,

it was just like a bunch of divas on a spaceship having their, you know, these girls were just at each other's throats, but loved each other and exploring space. And had their exploring space. Yeah. And had their exploring space. Yeah, and had their diva, like, you know, we all have, like, that gay icon, and that was their gay icon

that opened the show. Yes. Maya as the alien. So that's what the story is? Because she's on a different set. She's not part of the narrative. If we had to know, she probably is like a Katy Perry that came in and did not, maybe not that big.

I think Gays in Space was probably not a big show. It was on a channel. Yeah. MTV plus. But I'm, I guess what I'm asking is like in the narrative, in the world of the show of Gays in Space, Maya's character who is not,

does not figure into the actual story is just a pop star in that universe well the writers were like we love her yeah the writers of the show were like we have to get her

we have to get you know Tamaltha Sanders Tamaltha Sanders you know she has to do it so you I have to ask more about

the names so by the way the one line I remember from Gaze in Space is, well, at least I don't tuck my moon pants into my gravity boots, Shania.

So like Shania Twain also is a figure in this world. Yes, yes. But maybe Shania was just like a name that you toss off. That's true.

You are iconically good at naming characters. I think you know that. Tell me more about me. No, bitch. You stop. You take it. We're going to get me more about me. No, bitch. You stop. You take it. We're gonna get this out the way. Just up top. So, Beginnings Chang, as I feel like it's recurring. Beginnings Chang, Latissa Stroh.

Oh, yeah. She came back this year, didn't she? She did. Beginnings Chang. I forgot what she was in. Was she in the... I don't know. She was Chang. You know, she did. It was in a grounded sketch. Oh. Oh, she was serious? She was like a grounded sketch. Oh, but oh, she was, oh,

she was serious. She was like a serious person. Yeah. It was like, I don't remember. Was it? My name is beginning. It was like,

it was like, hi, I'm, my name is beginnings. Chang beginnings. Chang by the, for everyone who doesn't know is again, another Maya Rudolph character in deep house dish.

Literally. I remember the episode was the Matthew Fox episode and beginnings. Chang in deep House Dish performs Tiny Moves about how you have to make move very small in the club so that you don't hurt

someone when you dance because she had had an experience where a tweaked out queen poked her eyeball out while voguing with a glow stick so I

you don't understand like this is like this is like deep in my heart yeah this is like deep in my heart and soul yeah these sketches they meant a lot to me they really were like I mean this is This is like deep in my heart. Yeah. This is like deep in my heart and soul.

Yeah. Wow. They meant a lot to me. Oh. They really were like, I mean, this is taken for what it is, but it did like,

I mean, I'm able to say it verbatim. That means it had like a formative impact on me. They burrowed into your brain. Yeah. But yeah, so we had also in that episode of that, that sketch had Letizia Stroh played by Amy Poehler who fell down some scaffolding.

Right. A German singer who sang a song called C-C-C-C-Cologne. Oh. I used to wear this out. I forget. I've forgotten. Yeah, you've forgotten. Because it's like years later, but I mean, iconic to me.

And then I think, I don't think I've asked you this. Kristen's song, Fashion, was also you? Huh. Like something like. Well, wait. What was that? Diamonds, Fashion.

Or like something. Huh. It was some sort of like, it was not Deep House Dish, but it was just like a music video set where she was just in like a dynasty type. Oh, I don't know. I think that may have been Emily. Okay, okay. I don't know. Spidey. Great, great. Yeah, was I think that oh I don't know I think that may have been Emily

okay I don't know maybe great yeah was it no I don't know so do you

I'm so sorry I'm so sorry we're just throwing stuff at you do you have like cause I like do you have like a cast member like throughout

like cause you worked with Kristen a lot yeah like you were like a team is there you worked with Cecily a lot now yeah

and Cecily my god now yeah and Cecily my god can do anything so good yeah so good it was there you guys had the idea

to do meeting in the ladies room oh yeah yeah you know that was kind of well Gaze in Space was sort of based

a little bit that little talky part you know when she counts down who said what to whom yes yes yes oh no it's gonna get scandalous intergalactic oh intergalactic a little bit that little talky part, you know, when she counts down. Who said what to whom? Yes, yes, yes. Oh, no, it's going to get scandalous.

Oh, intergalactic. It's scandalous is climax. Yes. Oh, yeah. Wow. Right, right, right. Oh, so, oh, that is the inspiration. Yeah, a little bit.

Yeah. Because I just love bitches like just talking through a song. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? Wow. I'll never forget, like, I didn't know what

Meeting in the Ladies Room was until they did a lip sync of it on RuPaul's Drag Race and I was just watching it. I was like, what the fuck is this song? But like, the queens knew it like down,

which now, of course, I get why, but it's just like, to watch queens just know that whole spoken word part, like, truly good.

Telling someone off. Telling someone off. Stacey Lane Matthews doing it. Yeah, Stacey Lane. It's so good. Now I'm even thinking it's even funnier that like Gaze in Space was so iconic to us with no reference for what Maya was doing. Just like us watching it like, I love this. And it's just like her doing like something we have no reference for, et cetera.

We did try to do it after she left and Will Forte went into that part. Will is the Troye Sivan of that world. Wow. Yeah, he had a turtleneck, you know. It was pretty good. Was it harder to get gay stuff on then? Huh.

Well, that's interesting. I don't think so. It's gotten gayer in the past. Yeah. I think, I think it was just here and there. I don't recall being, I didn't actually, um, you know, that was always like the little gift. Like when I got to write something that, what, that I felt was a part of me, I was like, oh, that's fun. But a lot of times, you know, you were just doing, you know, whatever. You wanted to get on it. Yeah, just whatever was, not necessarily,

there wasn't a gay theme to it, but just something that had a concept or whatever to get on the show. But I don't know. I can't, you know, it's all such a blur. It is a blur. It's like, I can't, you know, it's all such a blur. It is a blur. It's like I can't believe I've been there 20 years and I'm sitting there and I think back on some of the things

that, you know, I'm blessed to have had this job. It's an amazing experience. But then I can't believe, I'll go back and watch something and I'll be like, oh, I think this was me. Wow. NBC posts a lot of old sketches and they posted one the other day of a musical about spring break. I know it. It was called Woo.

Spring break fever. Slipping on the floor. I know it. It was called Woo. And I was like, Spring Break Fever. Yeah. Sleeping on the floor. I know that song. I don't think it got a lot of laughs, but Maya Rudolph at the top of that doing this tiny little dance.

My name is Summer. I've got the Spring Break Fever. Yeah. I know exactly what you're talking about. And she did this tiny little kick. Oh my God. I can sing the whole song. Can I sing the whole song?

I'd love it. Woo! Spring Break Fever. Sleeping on the floor, y'all. Oh my God. I can, I can sing the whole song. Can I sing the whole song? I'd love it. Woo. Spring break fever. Sleeping on the floor, y'all. Mysterious bruises. Intestinal parasites. Woo.

Mexican clinic. Eating the worm, y'all. Losing my keys. Losing my purse and my virginity. Oh, it's spring break.

Oh my God. I know the whole thing. Oh yeah. Virginity. Virgin know the whole thing. Oh yeah. Virginia Tai. Virginia Tai. Virginia Tai. Virginia Tai. James.

Yes. Let's shift it over to your summer. How was it? Were you upstate the whole time? What did you do? Oh God.

I just. Tell me. I haven't seen you all summer. I know. What's up with that? Where have you been? I've been's up with that where have you been I've been here I have

I've been complaining he hasn't had a summer I've been complaining I mean but did you know from the get go I mean

I'm sure you had summers where you were like you were shooting Hudson Valley Ballers or whatever but it's like do you take the time to just fully

clear the whole fucking summer out yeah you learned that sometimes I just kind of go into a vacuum chamber with like cold fluids and just try to get my remote youth back. But that's like the right way to do it though, I think.

Because I'm like annoyed at myself that I didn't give myself that. I don't know. This is what I wanted to ask you. Do you live upstate? I kind of go back and forth, but we do spend quite a bit of time up there. How far up?

Well, it's at cord, and I just found out that we live on the Fruit Loop. That means there's a lot of gays on the loop there. The Fruit Loop. And you just do the loop. But, you know, I don't know any of them. Really? Well, I met one.

I found one. What is wrong with me? I found one. I found one. There's one! I stalked him. I stalked him. Into the damn bathhouse.

No. I knew him from the city. And I'm like, I know you from the city. And he's like, yeah. And he said he lived near Accord. And I said, do you know you from the city. And he's like, yeah. And he said, he lived near Accord. And I said, do you live on the Fruit Loop?

And he said, he was the first fruit on the loop. Oh. How does he know you was the first fruit? I don't know. Every queen thinks they're the first fruit on the loop.

Sam Smith. Sam Smith. Howard, you're not Howard Ashman. Honey. Honey. Wait, so then,

I mean, is it like, are we talking like dozens of gays or hundreds? I think there's quite a few are we talking like dozens of gays or hundreds yeah i think there's quite a few yeah yeah i know some gays that have flocked upstate yeah yeah and um you know the swish alps the swish alps yeah swish alps but no when i'm up there i'm basically just you know really bird doggingdogging for, like, some animals. I'm just like, oh, God, I hope a bear comes up today.

Who's waiting at the window. Get some damn excitement in the loop. Come on. Do you have your cats up there? Oh, yeah. We bring them back and forth. They hate it. Catfolk?

Oh, God, yeah. We have three. Three, well, two rescues and one bot kitty. The bot kitty just happened she he he he had his big paws on the window the window and you were like okay yeah i couldn't resist what are the names of the cats jasper odie and dina jasper is a is a fucking good name yeah jasper is the glamour kitty that none of them like me. Why?

Because Mike feeds them. I'm always, you know, when I'm working, I'm not feeding them, so they love him. And occasionally they'll look at me like, hmm, I'll lay on you for a second. I'll lay on you for a second. I would rather, you would rather they lay on you like for hours at a time?

All the time yeah I had a cat like that Pam Pam I adopted a cat her name was Pamela and I took her to the vet

and then I gave him my last name when they came out to they said Pamela Anderson you did that on purpose I well you know what I think I'm I didn't know I didn't know I didn't know until it happened Pamela Anderson. You did that on purpose.

Well, you know what? I think I'm, I didn't know. Or maybe it was an accident. I didn't know until it happened. And then I was like, oh God, I love that. I wish I, she already had the name, you know. She had the name. She was Pamela Anderson, the cat. Miss Pam.

Yeah. Do you remember a time when Pamela Anderson was the queen? The queen. Oh, God, yeah. That was an era. I think she still is. I don't know about that.

She's been doing a lot of, she's been like showing up. I mean, this was a few years ago, but she like showed up at Wendy Williams, talked about, I think it was either like, I think she was a victim

of breast cancer. She's dating Julian Assange? Oh, never mind. Okay, I remember that. Yeah, right. I forgot. Now we remember why she's relevant. Yeah, and that's not great.

Yeah, she's like, he's a really good guy. He's really nice and smart. Wow. You know, her poster was like, all the dudes. All the dudes. Band lockers, you know.

I was the only one who didn't have her. And I found, I believe it was Joan Collins from Dynasty. Yes. I wanted a woman. Of course. To throw everybody off because the year was 19-whatever. I'm not going to say. Don't say it.

But it was Joan, Alexis Carrington. Yes. Colby Dexter. Don't say it. But it was Joan, Alexis Carrington. Yes. Colby Dexter. Sex icon. Yes. But, oh, you know what?

This is, this is a beautiful connection is that Matt and I will constantly watch the Alexis and, um, Diane Carroll. Diane Carroll. I freaking. Dominique.

Love that scene. It's one of the best. What is it? She goes, it's Petrushkin. It's Petrushkin Beluga. Uh, no, I prefer Petrushkin Beluga. And then I say, the champagne. It's good. It's one of the best. What is it? She goes, it's Petrushkin. It's Petrushkin Beluga. No, I prefer Petrushkin Beluga. And then they say, it's champagne. It's burnt.

It must have been burnt in the bottle. It must have been frozen in the bottle. And then it's just like this moment of like, and they don't even fight in that scene. They don't fight in that scene. It sets up a scene a few hours later where they do fight. In the bedroom.

Common misconception about Dynasty, they don't fight in every episode. It's rule of culture number 19. Common misconception about Dynasty, they don't fight in every episode. But Diane Carroll does leave that scene saying Ciao! For now. Yeah.

The best scene ever. So good. That scene should be encased in gold. I don't know. I have watched that more times than I should. Right. Hundreds. I prefer Patricia Mbaluga. It's very good.

What are you doing in Denver? So funny. Oh my God. That's right. It all takes place in Denver. Isn't that the stupidest most unbelievable thing in all of Denver as a Denver and like this would

no place in Denver looks like this no one dresses like this in Denver everyone in Denver is talking about you like a mid-Atlantic accent too yes why are they talking like that in Denver there's no mansion like that in Denver not in the whole damn city

you are an artist model in, what is it? Oh, in Gestalt. She goes, wrong. I also like, she goes, only small yachts. And you get seasick on yachts. Only small yachts. Only small yachts.

It's so good. And she goes, what everybody's saying is true. You have the most beautiful condo in Denver. You're one of the most beautiful good. And she goes, what everybody's saying is true. You have the most beautiful condo in Denver. You're one of the most beautiful ladies. And she goes, thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. It's a perfect scene. We need a return of the soap. They really tried to bring back the soap with Empire, I think. And with Dynasty, when they rebooted Dynasty. Oh, right.

They did reboot it. But the thing, like, have you watched it? Have you seen any of it? Have so the thing is like i guarantee it can't actually be like real camp you know what i mean like they're not doing real camp now no i guess riverdale is like is the closest thing we have like heightened but it's not well maybe it is camp no because you're the you're the last word on camp is that camp camp? I'm the last word. I mean, you should have seen him during the goddamn Met Ball. He was like, that's not camp. That's not Sontag's camp.

When Met Ball was happening, it was at work, and then it was me and Che watching it together. I was explaining to, it was me, Lauren Mandel, and Che, and I was like, and he's like, what's going on? He turns to me, he's like, is that good? I was like, no, it's bad. Actually, it needs to be bad. It needs to be in poor taste, but like it needs to celebrate poor taste.

So no, it's not on theme. And I was like, oh God, I'm telling Michael Che, like whatever stupid stuff. So who wasn't camp? I feel like most people weren't camp. I feel like Lena Dunham was camp. She looked like bad on purpose. Is anyone who looked bad on purpose? People who try to be like

gay kind of misunderstood i feel like what's his face like um uh ezra miller i thought ezra miller was camp ezra miller had like 10 eyes oh right which i thought was camp but i also think because there's like this weird thing where it's like no one really knows or can because even that definition that you're going by for camp is like Sontag's definition of camp and she doesn't define that word for everyone. That's her interpretation of

what it means. And what she says that it changes with the times and that it's yeah. It needs to be contextualized whenever. But we were talking we had an episode with Betty Gilpin and we discussed this for a little bit which is like you know, the Met Gala takes itself so seriously that nothing it ever do can be camp, even if it calls itself camp.

It's like, because it takes itself so seriously, and we're going to watch it with a critical eye, it's not camp. Also, they're getting photographed, and it's like, how campy am I going to be? Because I really don't want my, you know, I want to look just so. Because I don't want to be like camping it up so much that everybody's like, what is wrong with her mind? Totally. Well, with Lena, she was wearing like a tight silk bag of flour and like elbow length gloves and just being like

that was kind of funny it's like the intention was all there what about Jared Leto with his own head I love that yeah

I liked that I sort of liked that campy anyway I thought holding your own head as you go into the Met Gala

was camp I wish it had been a puppet so he could have his finger up his butt. Something we've all thought about with Jared Leto and I'll be the first to say it. I'll be the first to say it. I'll be the first and not the last.

I'll be the second. He actually is someone who I believe is so hot that he could... Oh, he doesn't do it for me. He could take my head and slam it into a wall. Come on. And I'd be like, that's good. Yeah, I think he's so hot, Jared Leto.

What? You know what? I agree with you. into a wall and i'd be like that's good yeah i think he's so hot jared leto what yeah you know what i i i'm i agree with you yeah you know there was a point probably when i was younger that i'd be like oh no no no no no but now oh honey anything anything below 40 will do yeah i get that for me for me it's like i don't know well you know he also has like a like a big big they say he has a big big big big big penis and that you can see it often in photos and i'll talk about this apparently it's like apparently it's like a damn elephant's trunk oh if you look at pictures of this stuff you'll be very surprised to see how large that is. And he ranks amongst many Hollywood.

Have you seen the pictures of this stuff? Well, so there's a couple photos that are like, look at these photos where you can tell that Jared Leto has a big cock. And it's like, I'm like a human being. So I'll just like click yes on that. And then I'll look at all the photos. And I'm like, look, these would suggest sure he has a large penis also the fact of the matter is there's those john ham photos too right yeah that thing is swinging around and it's like at this point when you're in your 40s you know about your penis and if it's large you know so you wear underwear to like put that away yeah you get some support

you get the shape where you pull it off. Yes. You know, you don't, unless of course, you know, it's at BDE. It's like,

you know, well, I almost said, if I have a big dick. That's hilarious because I do. But, anyway,

I would just let it probably swing too. I would love the publicity. But it's these, it's that these people, it's that Jared and John aren't wearing their underwear. I feel that they are letting it fly. It's that these people, it's that Jared and John aren't wearing their underwear. I feel that they are letting it fly.

That's what I'm saying. And I think it's disrespectful. It is disrespectful. No, no, it's not. I actually am fine with it. But I'm always mortified when like someone says like, like I did a show recently and someone said. People are commenting.

I'm sorry. Really quickly, I want to speak on your behalf. I'm sorry. But people keep commenting on social media on Matt's moose knuckle, and it's got to stop. Moose knuckle? There you go. I have...

Is that an issue? I wear tight pants. Let me see. Stand up. Okay. All right. Now pull them up. Oh, my God.

I see a moose knuckle. James sees it. Oh, you have to pull them up, though. No, you don't have it unless you pull it out. Well, yeah. But the thing is like right now I'm wearing boxer briefs and I've actually recently switched over to regular briefs. Come on.

Are you, is it okay that we're talking about this? Yeah. Okay, great. I just wanted to make, I just wanted to make sure. I have no restrictions. Great. Okay. But, but I did a show recently in some way.

Then dance for us. Oh yeah. Yes. You know what? You know what I watched the other day? Jared had never seen Bruno. Oh, so fun. So, you ever seen Bruno with Sacha Baron Cohen?

No. I think you'd like it. You would really like it. I'm sure. Sacha Baron Cohen. You've seen Borat. Oh, God. Come on, James Anderson.

James is truly, he is not beholden to any other person. Okay, so it's literally, it's Sacha Baron Cohen. He plays like a German. A gay German. Gay German fashion. Yeah, and so there's a scene where he has put together a TV pilot. And they are showing a focus group. And these people have no idea what they're going to see.

They're real people. And it's just him swinging his cock around. And then the cock points to the screen. And the dick hole opens. Bruno! This is why you'd like it. And then the cock points to the screen and the dick hole opens. Bruno! This is why you'd like it. It's so fucking funny. And then they go in to say,

okay, what did you guys think of that? And it's real people. And they're like, worst piece of crap I've ever seen. That person's obviously very sick. And like, it's just so dick centric. And then he goes in and they're like mortified. Anyway, we had to turn it off because Jared was like,

I can't watch this anymore. It's too uncomfortable. It's so funny. And then we watched, um, no, instead we watched the house bunny. Oh, that's great. And he thought it was so funny when she goes, um, here, introduce yourself to me. Oh, when she, when she says the name.

Yeah. Hi, I'm Bowen. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's her way of, it's her mnemonic device for remembering. Watching him discover that was so funny. I was like, you didn't see. Bowen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's her way of, it's her mnemonic device for remembering. Watching him discover that was so funny.

I was like, you didn't, you don't see, you've never seen this? Have you seen The House Bunny with Anna Faris? Oh, bitch.

Very funny. This is the movie you've got to see. Yes, queen! Yes, queen! But see, no, but James is up on the gay culture

because remember, the first night we did, the night we did meet you, we talked all, we just talked about the Drag Race. And you were like, I love that Thorgy Thor.

And we were like, oh, girl, yes. Come on. Have you been watching it as of late? I watch every season. And, you know, I'm- Last season was weak, you can say. Can I say it? Yeah, you can say that.

But was it as weak as some of the weaker seasons? I thought it was one of the weakest seasons. You and i would show up to work and i'd be like i just didn't fucking watch oh um i still sort of was there for it yeah i mean i i'm gonna be there for yeah i know we're there i love it i love it you can't you know i really oh my god what i almost okay forget it what no? No, no. I almost, I almost called. Oh my God. I can't even think her name has slipped my mind.

Describe her. Miss Vanjie. Miss Vanjie. Oh my God. Okay, forget it. No, come on. You can finish it. No, I almost slipped and called her another name,

which is just dumb. We know, and you know what? The most iconic thing about her is her damn name. Is her damn name. Rewinding. So just so I can finish this thought. We know. And you know what? The most iconic thing about her is her damn name. Is her damn name. Rewinding. So just so I can finish this thought. Oh, yeah. I was recently told at a show that my dick had been showing the whole first half of the show.

Really? And then somebody said it was called Game Show. And I did it in Los Angeles with Dave. And then he was like, you know, your dick is showing. And I was like, okay, well, what do I do? The short? And it was a pant that I was wearing. And I was like, and then someone said what do I do? The short? And it was a pants that I was wearing. And I was like,

and then someone said, well, we thought that's what you were going for. Oh. And I would never want people to think I was the type of gal who'd go up there with this thing swinging around. Not that that's a bad thing. No,

and I think it is a bad thing. I don't think, I think like, did you see that the poster for that new show, the boys with Chase Crawford and his penises out? Oh, I didn't think, I think, like, did you see that, the poster for that new show, The Boys, with Chase Crawford and his penises out? Oh, I didn't see that. I gotta see it. You gotta see it. No.

And you love to see it. Amazon? It's on Amazon, this show. And you see his butt, too. Oh. Good butt. And the thing, so basically, like, but I think that when you present penises, that's like, first of all, I'm not like a fan of penises. You're stigmatizing anatomy.

No, I'm just saying like, penis is not my favorite part of the man's body. What do you like? Butt. Chest. Back. Yeah. Chest.

Arms. Face. Face. Face. Face. Face. Face. Hair.

Hair. Hair. Hair. Hair. Hair. Hair. Hair. Hair. Hair. Hair. Hair. Then like penis like way down on the list after like knees and toes. You know what I like?

What do you like? What do you like? I like eyelashes, y'all. Do you like the bored long eyelashes? I like thick eyelashes. Thick eyelashes. Is this real? It's for real.

Okay, talk about this. You like length? I like length and thickness. Oh my God. This is, okay, so the other day, a pizza guy served me

and his eyelashes were so gorgeous that I fell in love with him. And then he, he took his break outside the window where I was eating my pizza and I just stared

at his eyelashes some more. And you saw them that far away? more. And you saw that far away? Huh? You saw them from that far away? They were just gorgeous. They were like doe lashes. Yes.

And big, big brown eyes. Yes. And then, I went on to Amazon and I bought myself some eyelash growth gel. Yes.

Come on, Joe. You know, a lash can go a long way. Does Mike have long lashes? Oh, yes. Oh, then, and that's why you married him. Beautiful, beautiful blue eyes. Aw.

Yes. Blonde lashes. Oh, we have the gel. Oh, you have it. No, this is not. This just reminded me that I need to put on some. The eye roller. Is there caffeine in that?

What is that? I don't know. It's a de-puffer. It's a de-puffer, but I need to put it all over. Oh, because it's cold, right? It's like a spoon. Well, you keep it in the fridge. It is.

Would you like to try some? Have you ever, have you always been someone that has like, because only recently in the last year have I been someone who buys like, like face creams and like stuff. Have you always been into that stuff? This is ridiculous because even in high school, I would buy like under eye creams. And I had learned, I would listen like from a distance,

like at the Clinique counter just to go like this. You know, with your ring finger. Is that the ring finger? Yes. And both ring fingers, you rock them toward your nose and push up. But you know, why? Why is that? What do you mean?

Cause it's, it's not put it, it's controlled pressure. It's not like if you were using your middle of your pinky, it's too much. Like you, you have too much control, muscle control.

Why was I worried about skin at 16? I mean, I think, I don't know. I think that's like a thing. Where are you from? What, what,

Kentucky, Kentucky. Okay. So are you in the sun a lot? Oh yeah. So there you go. But you know, you have people in your life being like, you can't, you said too long. You're so were you in the sun a lot? Oh, yeah. So there you go. But, you know. I hope you have people in your life being like,

you can't sit too long, you're going to get old face. Well, I did keep a bottle of Ben de Soleil Jolet No. 4 in the tool tractor box. And I would hide it under the tools. And then I would put it on, slather it on, and then just go out and plow. Yeah. And turn on the radio. Turn on the radio, just listen to Donna Summer, get the sun, and plow.

I'm like, if I'm going to have to do this, I'm going to do it my way. Yeah, oh wow. So you were out there plowing? Yeah, I did all that stuff. I plowed, I cut tobacco, I baled hay, and I didn't really enjoy any of it. And, you know, I was the number one son of my father. So I was going to inherit the farm and work the farm. And everybody's like, you're going to work the farm.

Yeah, that's what we do. You're going to work the farm. That's what we Andersons do. That's what's going to happen. Yeah. When I go and when your mama goes, the farm's yours. And you're going to take over the farm. And you're going to raise crops and cows and tobacco.

And you're going to make sure that everyone that's left in the family is taken care of. Yeah. And then your son, your biological son. Yeah. And then your biological son, when you have him with the non-existent female that you're dating, will take over that farm as well. Farm for you. Wow.

Wow. I need to know more about these crazy, crazy fun odd jobs that you had up until you started, until you were doing comedy writing. I don't even know this about you very much. And I don't know whatever you want to reveal. Okay. So I went to school to study theater you know studied theater with miss paula that was the connection and we were best friends yeah so then i moved to new york to be a musical theater performer and i did some i worked on cruise ships and um did cruise ships did dinner

theater i all in new york all in well no dinner, I did a lot away from New York. Yes, yes. But it was hilarious because I remember Dinner Theater. I was cast in Evita. I got a lot of chorus and dancer, singer-dancer. I was a singer-dancer. And it was just revealed in the musical that Evita had died. And then the front row, I just heard that clicking, you know, that clicking of forks and stuff and then someone saying,

you know, just pass me that over there. They were finishing up and click, click, click and like after, you know, ladies and gentlemen, Evita Peron is dead. Yeah, click, click, click, click, click. I'm not done with my say. And then you're like, it's done.

Yeah, yeah. And then requiem materna, donae, whatever the thing is that we sang. And so I did all that. And then while I was doing that, I had to have little, I did like catering. And I did, oh, I did sample sales. I would, yes, I would do these. Because Miss Thing knows her fashion. You've known your fashion.

Well, I, you know what? In the 80s, the supermodels drew me in. Right. I see. You know, the Trinity. The Trinity. Yeah, was that Lisa? It was Naomi.

Linda. Linda. Lisa. And, oh my God. No. Turlington. Christy Turlington. I made it Linda I said Lisa

sorry but I used to buy Bazaar magazine for them so this is right this is before Miss Cindy or was she Cindy was there too

she was there too actually maybe it wasn't Christy Turlington it was Cindy Naomi and Linda

I feel like the trifecta does include Chrissy Turlington though, right? I want to say it does. Yeah. But they were all, this was like the birth of the supermodel, right? Oh, yes. Wow.

And so that drew you in because you pepper in those fashion. Yeah. And I did fashion shows. I did backstage work at fashion shows. Loved that. Loved it. I was always peeking out to watch the walks.

Yeah. Yeah, you look at it on television and you think, oh yeah, they're walking, whatever, but that is like,

there's something powerful going on. It's craziness backstage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Seriously, outfits aren't done.

Yeah. Oh, and they're being like, like safety pinned on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. See,

this is the thing about James is that you've, you've like seen the culture from all sides, I want to, I want to say. You, yeah, yeah. See, this is the thing about James is that you've seen the culture from all sides, I want to say. You've done the theater. The theater. The fashion.

The film, darling. All of it. And the farm. And the farm. From the farm to the runway! So, farm to runway? Oh my God.

Farm to runway title of episode. No, but we gotta start this. What is it? Farm to runway, I know. Farm to runway, honestly, that's for we got to start this. What is it? Farm to Runway. Honestly, that's for you guys to figure out. I think it's... At the big old...

At that ivory tower. I think it's got to be a restaurant, right? It's got to be a restaurant. You bring something from the farm and your servers march it out to you. Yeah. And they stomp the damn yard. They clomp it.

They literally stomp the yard. Because it's set up like a barn. Yeah. And so the servers like stomp the yard and they walk set up like a barn. Yeah. And so the server is like stomp the yard and they walk over to you and they never say a fucking word to you.

I love that. Of course, everything's ordered on an iPad. Yeah. It's ordered on an iPad and then all the food is served at once. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

They come out en masse. The lights go down. The song is played. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the food is down. Yeah. I love that. Absolutely. And the song has no words. No is played. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the food is down. Yeah. I love this. Absolutely.

And the song has no words. No. Yeah. It's like, and they're like, exactly. And they come in, drop it down,

and then everyone eats. Yes. Sort of. Wait, speaking of, because this just reminds me of the Versace sketches. Was that you and Maya coming up with that together?

That was Maya, me, and Emily. And Spivey. Oh, I love that. Because, I mean, those, I mean. That was like near the beginning of my, you know, my start. Of you being there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. God.

How did it happen that, because you weren't really, you were doing like theater and stuff. Theater and stuff. And you had already met Paula at school. Now, how did you get to snl like how does that happen what got you into comedy well i'll tell you if you really want i do well i did a little of this okay and i did a little of this uh-huh shaking your titties and then I went cuckoo cuckoo cuckoo and that's what got me a big job and Lauren was like you got it you got it baby

no I was friends with Paula and Paula I went to the musical route and Paula went to Florida and she got into

some I almost called it an ad-lib troupe ad-lib troupe you know called it an ad-lib troop. Ad-lib troop. You know, Paula and her ad-libs. She loves her ad-libs. But she was doing, you know, there was some television down there

and she was in a few pilots. And one pilot got into Lauren's hands and he called her up to audition. She auditioned. Well, she didn't audition. He just said, I want you to be a writer on the show. And she was scared to death. And she took it.

And, of course, she's iconic. She has all those characters under her belt from cheerleaders. What were they? Spartans. Spartans. To Debbie Downer and all that anyway so I started hanging out with her and

people met me and Mike Shoemaker asked Paula if I could put a packet together because

he was head writer at the time yeah no Mike Shoemaker was a producer and I guess he thought I was cute

no he thought I think he thought I was funny whether that, he thought I was, I think he thought I was funny. Yeah. Whether that's, you know. Oh, yes. Well, you know, whatever. It's, well, anyway.

So he, what did he do? I put in a packet. And in that packet was corn chip nail tips. And that was the, my first episode. It got in. Oh, fuck yeah. Yeah. And it was with Maya Horatio

and, I can't remember who else. Yeah, it was, it's fashion, it's food, it's corn chip attitude, it's flavor on the run, it's corn chip nail tip fun.

You know who I just met with, met and worked with a little bit was Anna Gosteyer. I fucking love her. She's amazing. She's also such a good writer. Oh, yeah. And singer. Well, iconic singer. Well, Alphaba.

So her and Maya had the idea for Gemini's Twin. That was them. And I worked on that with them. Gemini's Twin. That was like, that was I still sometimes, somebody will post a video of that and I'll be like, these look great.

They still hold up to me. Like, whack whack, ain't nothing but a flack jack. They're like, they're on TRL and they're like, and someone's like, what is this song about? Like, it's about what a man does you wrong and blah blah blah. And then Anna goes, it's about what a man does you wrong and blah, blah, blah. And then Anna goes, it's also about a pancake breakfast.

My favorite. Oh my God. It's so funny. She's so good. It's so good. Also, wait. So quick. So the thing with that was

they always rotated out the third member. Lucy Liu and Charlize Theron. So Lucy Liu literally did, I'm going to do it. Because like, I'm a stewardess. Basically like,

there's a dance move that Lucy Liu does that I have done in it because like I'm a stewardess basically like there's a dance move that Lucy Liu does that I have done in my I literally ripped it from her and I've done it in many shows

and here it is I'm gonna do it she's taking the headphones off oh so what Matt did reader was he wide stance

bent down ass up fluttered his fingers and then spirit fingers I spirit fingers over his asshole over my asshole which literally

she did in a sketch and I literally I remember just like falling back over my chair because I couldn't believe how explicit the movement looked

and I was like this is insane and Lucy Liu just did it just did it I don't even remember the song it's something about

I'm a stewardess I'm a stewardess bum bum and I'm a stewardess, I'll break, I'm a stewardess, bum, bum. Oh, yeah, stewardess. Oh, I push a cart. And I push a cart, bum, bum. I'm a stewardess,

bum, bum. Wow. And I break a heart, bum, bum. Yes, we love. It was so funny. Wow, wow. So then you get there

and it's really easy right away. It's so easy. Oh, it was a breeze. And it gets easier as you go. Oh, my God. Do you still feel 20 years in like you're like, it's still like a stressful gig? Oh, it's, you know, it's the most amazing job on earth. You have to preface with that.

But then it is also live and it's a weekly you know adventure yeah and it is it is like oh boy when friday and saturday get there and then your thing doesn't work like say it goes to dress and this is the worst case scenario it goes to dress and it's dead and you're like well that thing's gonna get cut it was a piece of crap and it gets on and then between dress and air you're supposed to make it better make it work

as what's his name fix it and it's the nerves kick in and you're like wow this is really and I recall I've never had this but Paula did rewrite something and was putting it on cards. And they were holding up the cards.

As she was making the effects. Yeah. I remember that. That's got to be insane. I mean, I've talked about this. I think I had a moment like that for the Christmas episode with Will. He and I wrote that Theresa May sketch. Oh, right, yeah.

And Lauren, like, kept it in the show, even though it was fine at dress, but he kept it in the show, and he cut other sketches in favor of our sketch because he was like, they're going to show this on BBC tomorrow, so we better make this work. And I was like, okay.

So then Will and I are in the control room. Lauren's right there. And basically, like, and then... Were you cutting it at the last minute? Cutting it as the sketch was on. And then they had to dump it. They were counting. Dumping into it.

Dumping away from it. Dumping away from it as we're making the edits. We're like, we're dumping in five, four, three. And then they just dump out in the middle of fucking Kate's line. And then the audience applauds.

And it was truly like, and then Will and I just looked at each other and laughed and Lauren's right there and then later on that night I'm at an after party and then Aidy comes over she's like I just talked to Lauren and he said it was really entertaining to watch you and Will and the control but in a way that she was like you know he was like impressed

but also entertained at how like maddening it was and it was and like now I I've laughed at it since it happened I'm like what a crazy fucking moment. Well, that's like if you're in that last spot and you don't get cut, but then you have to cut two pages. You have a three minute sketch

and you got to cut a minute out of it. It's like, huh, okay. Well, this is not going to make any sense. And I wish you would have just cut it. Yeah, but anyway. I could just walk out there and go, Hi, it didn't work.

I'm sorry. I was in the control room and I couldn't figure it out. So I'm nervously out here live telling you. I'm nervously out here live telling you. I'm nervously out here live. Telling you that my sketch, I don't wanna show it. I don't. Because I don't wanna read all your reviews tomorrow. All your reviews.

Every person on earth who will review it tomorrow. Every person on earth. The review culture. You'll tweet about it. Yeah. In the age of Twitter, it has to be so hard. Oh, it's, you know what? It is. It's easy.

It's so different. You know, this is how freaking old I am. And by the way, I would look at men over 40. I said that earlier. And I'm like, what's wrong with me? Stop it. There are gorgeous people over what's wrong with me? Stop it. There are gorgeous people over 40. You were making up money.

Bradley Pitt. Bradley Pitt. Georgia Clooney. Georgia. Yes. And so what was... You were saying Twitter now. Oh, Twitter.

When we first started, you would get eight track tapes of your scene and they would stack them up on the table. And then you would go take this clunky thing and put it in and watch your scene to figure out what needed to be cut. Now it's all like on a server and whatnot. And then back then, you know, it was like you felt like it was the 40s. The review came out. Here's the paper. You know, they love gays and spice. Right. the review came out here's the paper you know oh they love gays and spice right

you know but now it's like you know everybody and their mother will have an opinion about and that's why

as soon as your sketch is done you do twitter search and you see what people are saying oh yeah no I don't do that I actually

I do I fear if I was there if I would do that, you probably do. I've done it. I've done it where once it goes up to YouTube at like three in the morning, like I'm at after party or I'm on my way home from after, I pull it up on YouTube and I read the comments and I'm just like, why did I do that?

Why did I do that? Yeah. I mean, sometimes it's great, especially if you have something that you're like, I'm not so sure that it played like I wanted or whatever. And then you're like, I'm just going to peek. And then people are like, nice. They're like, this is weird. Which then you're like, oh, good.

Weird is great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good, good, good. Well, we love weird. We love weird. And now we ask the question. Okay. Uh-oh.

So this is the question that we ask every single guest that comes on this podcast. This is what it's called um and the question is what is the culture that made you say culture is for me this is the piece of pop culture um that you felt like if you look back on your life like is still that thing that you think may have defined you and sent you in a cultural direction well this is there's two things i think um dance and music both played a big part because the first introduction to it was i went to my parents took me to opryland which no longer exists right and it was a theme park that had a lot of shows with theme park entertainers. And I was so in love with this show called I Hear America Singing.

And I eventually auditioned for it. I snuck away and snuck? Yeah. Can you snuck? You get snucked. I snucked. I snucked away. I snucked toward the audition.

I snucked. I walked in the door snucking in all the way. When I had snuck as much as I could snuck, I realized it was time to perform. It's still there. I snucked my way all the way up to the

casting director, snucked her in her face and said snuck. I snuck into SNL. They still don't know I'm there. My favorite thing to do is go up when everyone's smoking during the Broadway intermission and snuck in with Beckham.

So anyway, yeah. So that was it, and I love that. And then I remember Gypsy the movie with... With Ethel? No, no, no. The movie was with... Was it Rosalind Russell? Rosalind Russell. And, oh God, what is her name? Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no. The movie was with Was it Rosalind Russell? Rosalind Russell.

And Oh God, what is her name? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on. Oh God, she died. Oh, Natalie Wood. Oh God, she died. Natalie Wood. She died.

Gypsy Rose Lee. She's dead. It's actually Rollercoaster number 41. Natalie Wood is dead. Got thrown off a boat. It was murder and we all know it. Christopher Walken, Robert Wagner were all She got snuck thrown off a boat. It was murder.

And we all know it. Christopher Walken, Robert Wagner. She got snuck right off that boat. Now she's snuck off the boat. Somebody snuck her. Somebody snucked her. This woman was snucked. All right.

We've got to. All right. Thank you all for. This is obviously a snuck. I would like someone to snuck me. Oh, you don't get snucked? Well. Well.

Miss Jepsen! That's the other one, honey. Yeah, okay, so listen. And Margaret. And Margaret. Bye-bye, Birdie. She's actually a sleigh in those. Okay,

so you know how in Bye Bye Bertie, the film. Yeah. There's the first scene where she's like, oh, Conrad. And she's like,

being one of the girls, she's like, bye bye, Bertie. And she's like, giving you like, ingenue, like hopeful.

And then at the end, she kind of becomes like, a little bit of a strumpet and is like, and then she's like, yeah. And she's kind of like, being more like,

haha, I've grown during this film. Right. I love that. And they even became her. And she's kind of being more like, ha ha, I've grown during this film. Right. I love that. And they even change her makeup a little where she has a little bit more of an eyebrow raise and she's like, ah. Ann-Margaret was in some other movie musical

where she played a full hoe and it was beautiful. I don't know that. Ann-Margaret. Well, I love her number in Viva Las Vegas. Okay. It was to show me

his appreciation. The thing is, she starts in heel in dance shoots like Capizio's and she has a little rap and you know,

if a woman is going to sing a song, come down a staircase and toss the rap, I'm in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she did that,

so I'm in. And then suddenly it becomes very bossa nova the music okay i know she's in flats oh like at some point she went she went no no no no we are taking these capizios off and i'm putting on my ballet slippers because we're doing something and it just cuts to the flats yeah that's but does she dance on like tables and shit in this too or no she's just doing? Or no, she's just doing. I think she's just, she's just doing boys. The boys are behind her and she's just in front. Like, and suddenly she's just in a leotard.

Right. The transition. The transition. I love the boys in the back. Yeah. Just doing like. Oh, come on. Like, um, um, like in Roxy even as I know.

Yeah. Yeah. I love, I love chorus boys, I guess. And that was, yeah, that was me. I wanted that. That's what I wanted. I mean, chorus boys mean being a chorus boy means like you are like a lot of snuck in your hot and snuck in.

Yeah. And you had to stretch. You had to have stretch. You had to make sure those hammies were long and lean and could conk. You know, you had to crack conk at the audition or you were not getting it. Now, at that point, I haven't sung in forever, but I had a good voice.

So I would always be like, okay, I'll get a call back for the... For the singing. For the singing. Yes. The singer. I mean, I'll get a call back for the dancing. And then I thought if I can just make it through that. And I was a pretty good dancer.

You know. But I was going to say, like, you are like, you were probably like perfect. You are a perfect chorus boy. You're tall, lean. And then you could just move those limbs around gracefully. There were so many of them. So many. The chorus boys?

Oh, you go in and there's 8,000. I had dreams of it. Oh, you had dreams. Oh, you go in and did you kiss him? I had dreams of it. Oh, you had dreams. How did you meet Mike? Oh, at a bathhouse. Yeah. Is this true? Oh, my God.

Is this real? Is this true, James? She just put her head on the table. Somebody give me a pill. Give me my pills. Is this true, James? She just put her head on the table. Somebody give me a pill. Give me my pills. Wait, is this true? I love that. It actually is true.

Yes. Oh, I've had some fun meetups at bathhouses. And it happened, and we grew to, we kept, started dating, and then. I love that. I love this. Oh my God. Girl, if you want us to,

do you want us to cut that to do I've never been to a bathhouse because I always I always get I don't I don't guess I care no no it doesn't matter I mean I've never I've never been to a bathhouse really are you saying I could find my husband there sure I think people now do

the apps more well yeah yeah I feel like bathhouses might be having a comeback because i've been to two in the last year i went to one in vancouver when we were there you did you i think it was like you were like asleep no see but this is the thing you often do weird shit without me without telling me because i'm not gonna be like do you want to come to the bathhouse why not because it would both be us like we can split up i'm not gonna embarrass like, do you want to come to the bathhouse? Why not? Because it would both be us. We can split up. I'm not going to embarrass you.

Okay, so you and I. I can't believe while we were in Vancouver, you up and went to a bathhouse and didn't tell me. Okay, here's the thing. You and I can't share a hookup, but for some reason we can go to a bathhouse. Yeah, I don't want to hook up with the same person as you knowingly. But you would have wanted to go to a bathhouse with me.

You can go over there and I'll go over here. I'm just saying it's weird that you didn't say you were going. What is sharing a hookup? Like just having, like being an Eskimo sister, like having the same. Like at different times. No,

no. Yeah. Oh, like, like, okay, I'm, I'm done.

You hooked up with this person and then like a few months later, like I'll hook up with him. Oh no, no, no, no. So that wasn't the situation. The situation was Bowen and I were hooking up with someone and I I'll hook up with him. Oh no, no, no, no. So that wasn't the situation. The situation was Bowen and I

were hooking up with someone and I was hooking up with him first and then it became apparent to me that they were flirting and I said, okay, well you can hook up with him. I'm just not going to anymore. And I told the kid

that I felt this way and he said, I understand, I won't do it. And then they did it anyway. No, we won't. So it's just, that is what happens. We begged to go on a date and I was like, fine. And then we went on a date. Yeah, you said fine. You did it anyway no so it's yes that is what happened he begged to go on a date

and I was like fine and then we went on a date yeah you said fine you did it and then the day after I was so wracked with guilt that I told you I was like hey

well that's that's your prerogative to be wracked with guilt what I think you should have stayed away I okay James

James is the arbiter in this and I think no I don't I think no I agree oh you do I did I did a bad thing but I did not do a bad I will not apologize for going to the I don't know. I agree. Oh, you do? I did a bad thing.

I did not do a bad thing. I will not apologize for going to the bathhouse without you because I would have felt uncomfortable asking you to go. It's not that I wanted to go with you.

It's that it's weird that you went without telling me you were going. It's not. We were there together. I probably was like, where's Bowen?

You were literally asleep. No, I wasn't literally. Yes. Did they have entertainment? yes did they have entertainment they did not have entertainment at the bathhouse they'll play music videos wait what are you talking about ages ago you know they would have performed at whatever the continental baths yeah what was that like because you know i don't know it seems like you're you have a focus when you go there and you're not like yeah i'm to sit here in my towel and listen to...

Bach. Wow. Or a yodeler. Nymph Wars. Oh my God, a yodeler? That would be bad. Can you yodel? Yodel-ay, yodel-ay, yodel-ay, yodel-ay, yodel-ay, yodel-ay.

Oh, James. Was that the first time you've ever yodeled? Ever tried. I think he's got it. It's raw talent. Okay, no, no. Forget that the first time you've ever yodeled? Ever tried. I think he's got it. It's raw talent. Okay, no, no. Forget the farm. The farm.

Forget the farm to runway. Send him to classical training. No, we've got to market you as a gay yodeler. Yes! We got to put this to a beat. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. The circuit parties will love it.

Also, like, you can wear, like, gorgeous, like, lederhosen, but, like, some sort of, like circuit parties will love it. Also like you can wear like gorgeous, like lederhosen, but like some sort of like fashion take on it. Come on. Like an asymmetrical lederhosen. Yes. Calm dig our sound, deconstructed lederhosen.

Can you yodel and say Yas Queen? Yodel-ay Yas Queen. Bravo! Yodel-ay Yas Queen. you're the latest queen bravo you're the latest queen I just screamed no you screamed you're the latest queen you need to like get it

come on that is a call of Torah that is a call of Torah what is your range? I'm a tenor I'm a solid tenor I don't think no that was just falsetto it's not i don't

know my range i don't know my notes i never i i like you uh probably not even as seriously as as but i dip my toe into trying to do musical theater a little bit i ended up realizing that nothing made me more nervous than those auditions because i feel like there's not a lot of like a room for and this is probably not true it's just not a skill I naturally possess. When you're auditioning for musical theater, there's not a lot of like availability to be spontaneous in the audition. You kind of have to like, I just felt, I'm also like, I can sing, but I'm not like a trained singer.

Like whereas some of those musical theater guys, like you hear them warming up and you're like, what am I doing here? There's also like eight bars. Yeah. You got eight bars and you got to, what am I doing here? There's also like eight bars. Yeah. You've got eight bars and you got to hit them. And then there's a table. They're just sitting there

looking at your resume. It's really like. Demoralizing. Yeah. It's like that stereotype of showbiz. Like. Yeah.

And you're like, no one's looking at me. I'm up here doing eight bars of like, you know, I'm watching Cisco pitter pat yeah wanting to kill yourself yeah going why did i choose this dumb song it's not a dumb song i'm

sorry it's not it is and i every song i ever chose for auditions i was always like why did i do that like one time for an audition i sang sunday Morning by Maroon 5 it was the stupidest thing I've ever done like I don't know I just felt like I'm so in control of like myself when I do like comedy stuff or acting stuff and then when it's like musical theater or something all my like like ability

leaves my body. I could see you in it though I could see you like especially these new musicals are so like I know and they don't have that Broadway voice. The Broadway voice has changed. No, it's totally different. I really wanted to audition for Book of Mormon, but then in order to be in the chorus for that,

you have to tap. And I can't dance. I'm a mover. I'm not like a dancer. There's a dance studio just down the street. So I should enroll in class. Tap, tap, class. But like that Andrew Rannells part

I feel like would be really fun. You would be great. But yeah, no, I mean it's just, I find them so nerve-wracking, those auditions. Like scary, like nothing else I've ever experienced. The Real Housewives of New York City are back for another bite

of the Big Apple. Look who it is. Joined by elite new friends. Rebecca Minkoff. Have you ever heard of her? But things could change in a New York Minute. She had this wild night and ended up getting pregnant by some other guy. What? You've told her?

Not today, Satan. Not today. The Real Housewives of New York City. All new Tuesdays at 9 on Bravo or stream it on City TV+. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. Guess what, folks? We're teammates again. And we're going to welcome you guys all to Dudes on Dudes. I'm a dude, you're a dude, and Dudes on Dudes is our brand new show. We're going to highlight players, peers, guys that we played against, legends from the past, and we're just going to sit here and talk about them.

And we'll get into the types of dudes. What kind of types of dudes are there, Gronk? We got studs, wizards. We got freaks. Or dudes, dude. We got dogs. Dogs. We'll break down their games.

We'll share some insider stories and determine what kind of dude each of these dudes are. Is Randy Moss a stud or a freak? Is Tom Brady a dog or a dude's dude? We're gonna find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the

iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Thanksgiving Day 1999, a five-year-old boy floated alone in the ocean. He had lost his mother trying to reach Florida from Cuba. He looked like a little angel. I mean, he looked so fresh. And his name, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere. Elian Gonzalez. Elian Gonzalez.

Elian. Elian. Elian Gonzalez. Elian Gonzalez. Elian. Elian. Elian Gonzalez. At the heart of the story is a young boy and the question of who he belongs with. His father in Cuba. Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him.

Or his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. At the heart of it all is still this painful family separation. Something that as a Cuban, I know all too well. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, as part of the My Cultura podcast network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll.

This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. We talk about guilt shame body image and huge life transformations i was a desperate delusional dreamer and the desperate part got me in a lot of trouble i encourage delusional dreamers be a delusional dreamer just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer i just had such an anger i was just so mad at life everything that wasn't right was everybody's fault but mine i had such such a victim mentality. I took zero accountability for anything in my life. I was the kid that if you asked what happened, I immediately

started with everything but me. It took years for me to break that, like years of work. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust trust me you won't want to miss this one this is when I thought oh it's happening for me I did it off was it off no it was

off off Broadway and it was called Box Office of the Damned and Kristen Chenoweth was in it it was her first gig what?

yes really? we did Box Office of the Damned together this is huge yeah and you know she when you heard her in that, you were like, oh, this girl, this girl is going. She was this girl from the University of Oklahoma.

Yeah. And, you know, they kept saying, we're going to move it to Off-Broadway. And I kept, I had my fingers crossed. I'm like, it's happening. You thought maybe because she was there that it would ride. Well, I thought everybody in the cast was so brilliant. There were some old school Broadway people in it. And there was another girl in there that had the craziest belt.

I cannot think of her name, but just an amazing voice. Anagostire. A young Anagostire who went by, you know. Kristen Stone. I. Kristen Stone. I'm Kristen Stone. But, you know, that was something that I was always like, oh. Do you miss like the theater, like company, like feel of it? I do.

I miss like, there is sort of a family feeling, but there's also, when you are rehearsing something and you're like i'm the wheat like in that i really did feel like i am the weak link in this thing and you're i i also was playing a character that i i was like i don't really relate to who i'm playing and uh and so i i always felt like i was was trying harder than everyone else. They all just kind of were floating around and doing a great job and I was out there really working it down, chewing it up, trying to make it work.

You were probably fabulous. I got great reviews. You got good reviews. No, I don't know i somebody liked it i don't remember his name i think he's dead now oh damn it another death natalie wood and that fucking guy i think it was natalie wood she reviewed it snuck right snuck before they could do me any good yeah they snuck that review out before i i could make any changes to it.

Oh, I do want to say, I'm sorry I'm still talking about the bathhouses, but. Oh, let's go back. I love it. They're going to have, I think, I really, because you know what? Oh, and this is the thing. This is like the, this is the modern day thing of Bette Midler performing at the Continental Baths. Nymph Awards just did a live podcast recording at a sex party. Are you serious?

And it's called the Fisting Special, Casting Special. It's another podcast. A fabulous podcast. Wonderful. Artful podcast. They had a Himmel and Macy Rodman, but they did this whole show at a sex party and no one was paying attention. How do you not pay attention

to a podcast recording? Can you guys explain a bathhouse like i actually don't know what the layout i guess they're all different but like what happens there general layout you walk in you show your id it's it's you get a stamp and a tank top no literally they give you a key on like a little phone cord, like a coiled little thing. That's your locker. And then, you know, you take your stuff in. You either pay for a locker or you pay for a private room where there's a little cubby there. You change out into whatever you want to wear.

If it's nothing, great. If it's a jockstrap, great. Do they give you a contraceptive? You can buy them. Okay. They give you a towel. They give you a towel. And that sometimes can be contraceptive

What I do is I fuck through towels Well the towels are always see through They're not plush They've been washed Over and over Bleached Into transparency Translucent hose And then you just-

Translucent hose. Translucent hose. And then you can walk around, check out the trade. The trade. There's a hot tub. There's a pool. And are people talking

or is it mostly silence? It's silence. But other, sometimes people are talking about, you know, where are you from? How are you? I see.

And then- With me, it's normally the people you don't want to talk to. It's normally the people you don't want to talk to you it's always the people you don't want to talk to that are like the most inquisitive yes okay and then there's rooms that play is it a large space depends on the depends on the house what's the popular one in new york that i'm gonna go to i don't know the turkish ones but those are those are like general public but then like Thursdays or Sundays are like men only yeah but is that

I've never been I don't think anything sometimes some cruising stuff happens the Turkish bath Turkish bath in the East Village but now like

I feel like I mean before the Equinox shit went down like the modern like modern gay sort of cruising scene

is just in the steam room at Equinox yeah ooh yeah and sex happens there and sex happens there with steam modern gay sort of cruising scene is just in the steam room at Equinox. At Equinox? Yeah. Ooh. Yeah. And sex happens there? And sex happens there. With steam?

With steam. Your pores are, you got all your pores open. Oh, my lord. Do I sound like a true baby? No, no, no, no, no. I just feel like I would pass out. Yeah.

It would just get so damn hot. Yeah, I'm hot, and then I'm getting all flustered, and the next thing you know, I'm lying on the... Damn ground. The damn ground. I'm lying on the damn And then I'm getting all flustered. And the next thing you know, I'm lying on the... Damn ground. The damn ground. I'm lying on the damn ground.

I'm lying on the damn ground. And someone's going to have to call what? 911. Someone's going to have to call 911 stat, honey, because I got snuck on the ground. Or 311. Or 311. And go, who is this bitch? Or 411.

Get a damn clue. I feel like asbestos. That's why I'm calling 311. I'm calling a building violation. Damn. Damn. I really do think... I'm just going to come out and say I'm a big bathhouse boy.

I don't go to them that often. Big bathhouse boy. Denver Swim Club in Denver is fabulous. Because I'll go home to Denver and like sometimes I'll like chat up guys and I'll be like, I can't meet, you can't come over. Yeah, no.

And I don't want to go over to your stupid apartment. But we can meet at the damn house. We can meet at the damn house. Well, that is the good thing about it is you can, you know, try the trade out.

Try the trade out. You try the trade out and then you, then you get to know their personality. There you go. And then you're like, okay, well that worked out okay. So now tell me a story.

Are you hot? Can we talk? How are you as a storyteller? Exactly. Then you get into that. I'm going to sit here and now I need to be entertained. Regale me. Yeah.

Spin me a damn tail. After you're done with my tail. Fable me, bitch. Fable me, bitch. My friend of mine went to Berlin and said that was insanity. Yeah. Too much. Well, some

sort of, I guess it was a bathhouse, but it had all different kinds of rooms. It seems very German to me that you would categorize your rooms. Like this room is just anal. Oh, yeah. Okay, okay. And he walked through because he was looking for his

boyfriend. He and his boyfriend went together. And he got splashed with lube. No. Extra lube. He got splashed with extra lube. But how did he know that it wasn't? Well, it could have been anything. Could have been anything.

It could have been anything, but it went sploosh. And like, oh God. Now let me ask you this. Come on. I hope Michelle Obama is not listening to this. I don't think she is. I think she listens to other podcasts like Two Dope Queens. I think she listens to Guys We Fucked. I think she listens to other podcasts like Two Dope Queens. I think she listens to Guys We Fucked.

I think she listens to, you know. She listens to the lady podcasts. I'm talking about the lube that when somebody pulled out, it flicked. Oh, Lord. That's got to be some real water-based stuff. And now you're asking what kind of lube that might be if it flicked?

Well, I'm interested. Because if it's silicone-based, I don't think it's going to sploosh. Yeah, no. So it's either a water-based or it's the cum. Well, what is better? I don't even, you know,

there's probably, you know, it's modern times. I think if it was cum, he would have known, Beau. Okay. It stuck, but, you know, it had that,

well, was it cold? Was it cold? Yeah. But it doesn't remain cold because it's been in the warmest place on earth depends on the kind of lube the warmest place on earth that's what they call my asshole

the warmest place on earth Disney World's the happiest place on earth the warmest place on earth is my asshole my asshole my asshole my yes my yes hole maybe do that in yodel My asshole. My asshole. He was green. I can't do it. My ass. My asshole. Maybe do that in yodel.

Yodel-ay, yodel-ay, my asshole. My asshole. Yay. The warmest place on earth. I think it's a water-based lube. You gotta be a water-based lube. Do you guys talk about lube a lot? yeah

we talk about see the thing is I don't know I actually don't jack off with lube and then I heard someone someone said to me that's crazy and I was like what?

no it's just it's extra business I would also think it's a waste of the lube exactly but somebody literally said to me like they never jack off without lube

they act like you're you're doing like you're gonna do something bad to your member. Yeah, I mean, it's like, honey, check your skin, because mine's just fine when I'm a tugging. Check your skin. Lube is expensive. Hello? The stuff I buy is $600. Honey, I use creme de mer.

I only masturbate with Petruscan beluga 200 bucks 200 bucks a pop I get a tiny little bottle of La Mer to jack off with It's $700 I'm the sheriff jacking off I only use La Mer Bitch

La Mer La Mer La Mer La Mer La Mer I don't fucking Cher bitch oh I bet James did you guys see that

what the Cher show yeah I was supposed to see it but then that was the night of the blackout he was supposed to see it because get this

Bowen Yang's father is a huge Cher fan you know who he's not a fan of homosexuals really yeah how that is that is a very large dichotomy there that's what I'm saying Cher fan. You know who he's not a fan of? Homosexuals. Really? Yeah. That is a very large dichotomy there.

Isn't that so funny and ironic? I don't have it in me to tell him that Cher's a gay icon, but he just likes her music. Out of context, has no idea what Cher means culturally, but is like, I love her music. He loves Believe. He loves that whole album. He likes autotune. He likes autotune.

He loves... Tux and Tux and give me a ride. Remember loves that whole album. He likes auto-tune. He likes auto-tune. He loves Tux and Tux and give me a ride. Remember that song? No. Yes. Does he like a lot of Cher songs? No, I mean,

we just had that album. My mom bought it at a yard sale in Canada, in Montreal, and we just played it. I remember, it was 1998, Princess Di just died.

Oh my God. The year? 1998. Let me set the scene, Princess Di just died. Oh, my God. The year? 1998. Let me set the scene. Princess Di is dead. Natalie Wood dead. Natalie Wood's been dead for years. She died when I was at a club.

Princess Diana? Yeah, the accident happened. It happened when I was at some brand new club in, you know, one of these gay clubs. And then it just, you know, there wasn't social media. So it just went through just everybody whispering. And finally, you just saw a lot of guys

trying to dance through tears. Oh my God. She was such an icon. I think I don't, I think we don't realize that. We don't realize that, that like. Well,

she was like speaking out about AIDS before. Anyone. Yeah. And really, and when that happened, you were just like, oh,

and then I, you know, I didn't know I felt one way or another about her, but when it happened, I didn't realize how much she actually meant. Because she was, yeah, speaking out about the AIDS from like a former member,

from like royalty. Yeah. Huge deal. And then like, and then yeah, you don't realize how much she, what she stood for in this community that she wasn't necessarily a part of but she advocated for anyway

she didn't have to do that she just stood up and did it for sure and then for us for me it was just like this beautiful woman yeah honestly I didn't understand and a style icon too right right right I think I understood

that she was important to people in England. But I don't, I didn't know. Yeah. But to the gays, like she, like could you imagine?

Yeah. I mean, also it's just weird to think about these people as like, you know, this is different and random, but I was recently like,

I like fell in like a Wikipedia wormhole and I stumbled upon Brittany Murphy's Wikipedia and I was like, God, Brittany Murphy passed away I was recently like, I like fell in like a Wikipedia wormhole and I stumbled upon Brittany Murphy's Wikipedia. I was like, God, Brittany Murphy passed away. That's like crazy under such bizarre circumstances.

And like so young, like, um, ever. Well, that's the thing is that I was actually looking up what it was and she died of pneumonia. And the toxicology report said that it was mostly

natural causes but also and i think this is a little bit throw people off multiple drug intoxication but then as you read more people would write that off as being like oh well she was a drug addict and there were rumors of that because she had lost a lot of weight um as she got a little bit older but then her husband died of the same thing. And then there was rumors about black mold being in their house. And I think that, and then apparently there were, there has been reports that confirm that there were some type of mold in

their house and that the multiple drug intoxication was not because she was abusing drugs, but because she was taking a lot of stuff to try to get better. So I think that that might have been what happened was her and her husband were very sick because something was fucked up in their home. And that's what throws people off is like, oh, they must have been on drugs, celebrities, etc. But I think that they were very sick and it was a lot of over-the-counter stuff that was in her system. And then there was weird rumors.

Her father, who was estranged from her mother, made these strange allegations that her mother had poisoned them and really weird stuff, which I think spun it all off into different directions. But I don't think anyone's ever really come forward and said, this is what happened. But reading it,

my gauge is that something was going on in their house where they both had the same ailments. Like that had to be atmospheric. Sure, sure. I'm no fucking doctor. I'm only a snuck. You know,

well, at least she didn't get thrown off a boat. Yeah. I mean, or worse. Yeah. I mean, or worse. Yeah, or worse. You know. Sucked up in a tornado like Bill, like, like.

Who? Bill Paxton. Remember the scene in the beginning of Twister? Yeah. Yeah. Where the guy, where dad gets sucked up in the Twister. What a horrific death. Horrific.

You hate to see it. You hate to see it. There are fates worse than death. What theific. You hate to see it. You hate to see it. There are fates worse than death. What the fuck happened to Natalie Wood? We'll never know. Oh.

That had to be. I just want to believe she got tipsy and fell off. Yeah. But I don't know. I mean, sometimes that happens

on boats. Happens all the time. I don't know. Happens all the time on boats. I don't know. But then for them to, I don't know. It sounds weird, fishy to me christopher walken has blood on his hands

and with that thought it's time it's time to move on to i don't think so honey okay so here's the deal um i don't think so honey is our segment that we do on every episode of this podcast which is called lost culture is this. It is a one-minute rant on pop culture. We take something in pop culture or culture at large or life in general that we are not necessarily

liking too much and we take one minute to dress that thing down with the words, I don't think so, honey. I have something. Okay. Oh.

I have something. Bowen Yang is going to go first. Okay. It's a little specific, he said. Here we go. It just came to me this is Bo and Yang I don't think so honey his time starts now

I don't think so honey the goddamn Hollywood Walk of Fame don't make me look down while I'm walking I wanna see where I'm going not look down and see you know

Tommy Chong's name on a tile okay honey Hollywood Walk of Fame you're on the worst street in all of the world too why do I

why is it gonna be a fucking vape store everywhere I go nowadays it's true honey this is trash

terrible I wanna be able to go to the damn the damn shake shack on you oh no without seeing the name

of our president Donald J. Trump boo boo for shame for shame where's the committee out seeing the name of our president, Donald J. Trump. Boo! Boo! For shame. For shame. Where's the committee, the community board to destroy that one, huh?

15 seconds. And you know what, Hollywood Walk of Fame? I used to want to, I used to, I had a little gay boy dream of having my name on you. I don't want to be on you at all. It would be the biggest shame of my life. If, if, if, if you decided to put me on you,

that's what darling. Okay. So Bowen Yang, Bowen Yang officially on record does not want a Hollywood walk of fame star, which actually is fine because you know, those things are paid for. Yeah. You're like agents pet by them,

right? I mean, also that is, there's no good spots left. Yeah. Oh God. They're going to have to start, you're like agents by them, right? I mean, also, there's no good spots left. Yeah. Oh, God. They're going to have to start, you know, hanging them from wires. Yes.

I would love a little mobile moment. Yeah. Come on. Give me a Hollywood mobile. Put me on a drone. Fly me around. Fly me around. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that. My little plaque on a drone. Fly it sideways so that, you know. People see it. Brr. Yeah. Flying around. I love that. My little plaque on a drone, fly it sideways so that, you know. People see it. Brr. Yeah. Flying around.

I love that. I love that. I'm ready to go. You're ready to go? Yeah. This is Matt Rogers, I Don't Think So Honey. His time starts now.

I don't think so honey, the death penalty. Yes. We shouldn't have it. It shouldn't be up to us. I don't think so honey, because guess what? It's costing us taxpayer dollars

to say let's put someone in the damn chair and hit the button bitch I don't think so honey because guess what we're using good rope to hang these people

we could be using this rope for boxing rings get these men in jail put them in there let them rehabilitate in the goddamn ring use your rope to tie her in the goddamn ring I don your rope to tie her in a goddamn ring.

I don't think so, honey. Death penalty. I am a liberal goddess. And I think that we should absolutely not be killing men. An eye for an eye. Nine, nine, nine. That's the way they say no in Australia. 15 seconds.

Guess what? I don't think so, honey. The death penalty. Guess what? If you killed someone, you should rot in jail and think about it for the rest of your goddamn life. I don't want to see honey. The death penalty. Guess what? If you killed someone, you should rot in jail and think about it for the rest of your goddamn life. I don't want to see the light

leave your eyes. I want to see the light continue to stay in your eyes. You know what you did. You were thinking about what you did forever. I don't think so, honey. Yes.

Come on. Oh, wow. The energy. I loved the energy. The little fish. Political fish. Don't you think? And now, actually,

I just got a text that lawmakers in Tennessee have reversed their position. On what? The death penalty. Abolished. Oh my God. They're not going to do it. They're not going to do it anymore. Look, Kentucky lawmakers.

Oh, y'all. No, we did it. Y'all, we stopped them. Y'all, we stopped them. Ain't nothing we can't do. I took my daughter down there to the courthouse, and I had her do a cheer. And it was about abolishing the death penalty. And she went, D-E-A-T-H, let's abolish it.

But she didn't say the, let's abolish it. And then they decided we abolished death. Yeah. This little girl's out there saying shit. I know. She said abolish it. And then they decided with the abolished death. Yeah. This little girl's out there saying shit. I know. She said abolish shit. And I had to snuck her out

at that point. They said, just get rid of her. We're not going to do it. Yeah. Because we don't want to hear her do it anymore. And they took her life.

So I lost my kid. They took her life. They took her life to spare all the others. They were like, we're going to take your life, honey. They unfortunately took her life. But all the others. They were like, we're going to take your life, honey. They unfortunately took her life. But she's a messiah.

She's Christ-like. I feel really good about my, I don't think so, honey. I feel really good. I think you should be so proud. I feel great about yours. Thanks. It's going to make me feel awful about mine. No, just stop it now.

You know that's my least favorite energy. Come on, James. James Anderson. My least favorite energy. My least favorite energy. Oh, James. James Anderson. My least favorite energy. My least favorite energy. Oh, God. James, I think you might have something. I'm going to try something.

Okay. But I'm realizing that one minute is a long time. Yeah, it's longer than you think. But it's just long enough to get all your thoughts out. I'm thinking that content-wise, I don't know what's going to happen, so maybe I should do it as Marilyn Monroe. Okay, good. We love that.

So that there's something. And you know, I don't have a great Marilyn Monroe, but it will make me feel like there's something. Honestly, Marilyn Monroe barely had a good Marilyn Monroe. Honey, there you go. She was Norma Jean in her real life. People don't know. People don't know.

It's actually rule of culture number four. She was Norma Jean in her real life. People don't know. People don't know. It's actually rule of culture number four. She was Norma Jean in her real life. Marilyn Monroe was a character. Yes, was an affect. Have you ever seen the movie? Actually, she wrote poetry. Did she? Yes.

She did write poetry. It was good poetry. As Norma Jean? As Norma Jean. But I think it's under Marilyn Monroe, but I think it's from her heart. It's from her heart. I actually love Marilyn Monroe.

Have you ever seen the movie My Week with Marilyn? No. No, Michelle Williams. Michelle Williams is in it. Oh, yes. And she says to Eddie Redmayne, shall I be her?

And he says, who? And she says, Marilyn. And then she goes out in front of the press and she is Marilyn. Amazing to watch. Amazing to watch. Great actress that Michelle Williams. Actually, real question number 12.

Great actress that Michelle Williams. Well, Michelle, get ready for this. Get ready for this. We've got a new Marilyn iconic performance from James Anderson. His I Don't Think So Any Time starts now. I don't think so, honey. You may think it's cute to put something on the back of your toilet tank to decorate it, but I don't think so, honey. You may think it's cute to put something on the back of your toilet tank to decorate it,

but I don't think so, honey. The only thing that belongs there are fresh flowers, or maybe perhaps a geode, a crystal. Don't put some sort of whatnot scenario, like a straw or anything porous, like, you know, straw dolls or yarn or whatnot. No, don't do that because when a lady sits to pee, she has to think, what is going on behind me? What is all this junk behind me?

And then when a man stands to pee, he could splatter on it. And that's no good. 15 seconds. splatter on it. And that's no good. So what I don't think about is that so, honey, you shouldn't really put any sort of

collection or doll or anything that can gather dust on the back of your toilet tank lid. And that's what I said. No. That was it. No. That was fully embodied. So good. It was Marilyn.

Genius. Wow. Marilyn was here. And honestly, I don't believe she would raise her voice more than that. I don't think so. No, she wouldn't. No. Oh my god. Oh my god. That got me through it better than No, I wasn't. No. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That got me through it better than...

No, I think that you made the right decision. I also think I can understand from her point of view why she wouldn't like it too. I can't say why. Well, I went to a coffee shop the other day and they had artificial flowers on the toilet. On the toilet. And it was covered in dust.

Ooh. Thick layers of dust. And I'm like and you know what it makes you think if these are dusty anyone worth their salt who works there comes in and sees the flowers are dusty

and cleans it so that makes me think how many times have they cleaned this bathroom also can't you just shake it off pull those dusty flowers out yeah dusty flowers dusty flowers

that's my name that's my drag name no I'm so happy we found it dusty flowers I have a diffuser on my toilet is that okay

I think anything like that is good I think a good book not the bible well maybe the bible no no I think a nice a bible so you can

wipe your ass with it no maybe not. No, no book. No book. Diffuser's okay. Candle's okay. It's a scent. Yeah.

I think anything that makes you feel like, oh, I'm in a clean spa. There you go. Nothing that's like, you know, like, I don't know, a nativity or like a bunch of Barbies like having a conversation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my God. I just have an Entertainment Weekly from... No, not an Entertainment Weekly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my God. I just have an Entertainment Weekly from,

no, not an Entertainment Weekly. I have a National Enquirer from 1994 that says, Jennifer Aniston ate her toe. And that's what's on my toilet.

Did Jennifer Aniston eat her toes? Is this a real Entertainment Weekly? I wish it was. Did Brad Pitt is gay? Did Brad Pitt is gay? Did Brad Pitt is gay?

George Clooney monster drama. George Clooney Yeti up in here. Ooh. Yeti up in here. Morg Helgenberger is a cake. You guys, this is live, right? This is live. Yeah, this is live.

This is beaming out to millions of people. We're going to take some calls now. Okay. Great. First call. Hello. Hi. Hi.

How are you? I have a question go ahead and ask we're here with James Anderson Bowen Yang and Matt Rogers I have a question for Bowen and Matt okay

sure what's your sign you go first bitch we're both water signs can you guess are you an astrology person yes I am okay

thank god okay so okay water we're both water I love when we get into it after. I don't think so, honey. I love that. It's so subversive.

That makes us look like queer podcasts. You're both Aquarius. No. You're both Pisces. I'm Pisces. And you, what's left? Scorpio. Scorpio.

Miss Julio Torres is an Aquarius. You know who's a Scorpio? Who? And who's the queen Scorpio is Miss Sudi Green. Miss Sudi Green. Oh, Scorpio. Miss RuPaul herself is a Scorpio. I am Pisces, Pisces rising, Cancer Moon.

I'm water, water, water, water, water. I could start crying at any second. Well, you're kind of a homebody too, aren't you? Does that Cancer Moon make you that? At times, I'm a little bit of a homebody. I'm an extrovert and when I'm out, I'm like out, but when I'm home it's like it has to be my nest. You like it to be your nest.

Yeah. What about you, Miss Thing? I am a Libra. That tracks. That means that you are measuring the scales. It's stable and measured and just I don't know, is that fair to say? means that you are measuring the scales. It's stable and measured and

just, I don't know, is that fair to say? Yeah, yeah. And really good about listening to others and weighing it out for them, but really wishy-washy when it comes to our thing. It's hard for me to figure anything out. What's your partner's sign? He's Cancer.

Oh, that's nice. Cancers are loving. So you date a water sign. Date, that's nice. Cancers are loving. So you date a water sign. Date married too. Married too. Do you know you're rising on your moon? My rising is Sagittarius. I'm not sure what my moon is. If you're rising Sagittarius,

that's what you're projecting out. Oh yeah, CoStar. But it's also not great because I guess they steal a lot from other astrologers. Who? Which one? This app called CoStar, but our friend Joel was telling me that it's like, we've talked about this on the pod, where it's like, they're like the fuck Jerry of astrology,

where they just take other people's work and they just like. What about that app? It's called, oh, shoot. Somebody was talking. Oh, God. What does it do it gives you your day by day but all it does

is take your information like the time you were born the month whatever but what who was it

that was no god who was in Magic Mike what's the guy's name Channing Tatum Channing Tatum was talking about it I can't think of the name of it

it might be Coaster my horoscope today says no need to be so polite. Oh. I haven't been polite at all. Mine said. Mine said. Since I opened my eyes today, I was like, it's on. It's done.

Mine said, take yourself to a movie today. I was like, absolutely not. Tell them nothing's out. Tell them Hustlers doesn't come out yet. I'm not saying anything to Hustlers. What does yours say? Mine says snuck. That's all it says.

It says don't snuck away from a situation that arises. And it could mean so many things. A good snucking. Maybe that's a good title of app. A good snucking. Come on. We have that down hot producer Megan? Meg? Thank you. You go by Megan, come on. We have that down hot producer, Megan. Meg.

Thank you. Do you go by Megan, not Megan? Megan. Megan. So commonly, Megans can go by Meg, Megan, Maggie, Peg, Paget. Do you have a nickname? I do.

Do you have a nickname? Megan your whole life. So what do you think it was about the energy that you brought into this space that they started calling you Meg? How would you do differently? That's not on her to do anything differently. My horoscope said no need to be so polite.

So I'm coming for you. Touch the earth? Touch the earth. Have you done that yet? None of us are going to buy our horoscopes. This is a serious question. Now, like when you're editing this, can you make my laugh sexy and deep?

There's sometimes I cackle. You have no... Can we do that? I cackle. Okay, so how about let's just laugh one time. Yes. Okay, so take that and just make that sexy indeed now um i love james anderson's laugh this was um i have to say what a joyous time to have you here thanks for having me i was a little nervous but

why would you be nervous i don't know i'm very i you know i it's the whole theater thing you know i for some reason chose that path when I left my house, but it's like standing up in front of people and performing is the most nerve wracking thing on earth. It's terrifying. You never wanted to like when you like, okay, so we're not done actually,

but it's just like in the moment when you're about, when you're, when you're on your way to do it. Oh, you know what the thing is because we do this so much, like this is literally like the 180th episode of this podcast or whatever. This is my first podcast.

Ever? Ever. That is so, I'm like literally so embarrassed for every other podcast. Have they asked? No. I'm sure they've asked.

Well, that's fucking stupid. Crazy. I'm dragging all of them now publicly. I think. So embarrassed to be in this podcast community. I think any opportunity to sit down and listen to James Anderson talk,

I think it's just like, what an embarrassment of riches for your mind. Well, I'll be for real. And an embarrassment. And an embarrassment. It's just humiliating and humiliating

how we're in 35. I will be... No, you're the best. I will be very real and say that you actually were very important and are continuing to be very important to me. And I'm sure Bowen, when we were younger, watching SNL because it gave us a time to laugh at shit. Especially with something as mainstream as SNL.

It was nice to be able to join in with everybody and have that. And it feel real. You know what I mean? You know what I'm saying. It was coming with everybody and have that. And it feel real. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like it was coming from. Yeah. Yeah. And that's good.

I mean, when I was younger, I always was looking for that. Like what? Yeah. Where is the gay voice in this? Yeah. I actually found a bookstore that was selling a romance novel and it was by

Gordon Merrick when I was in high school. I don't even know. I, it was Gordon Merrick and it was in high school. I don't even know. It was Gordon Merrick, and it was in the religious section because the title of the book was The Lord Won't Mine. And I was so excited that it was in that section. So I felt like I could buy it, you know. And I, you know, I bought it. And I took it home.

I read through, you know, went through it really fast and then I took it to the trash and I burned it. I burned the thing down because I didn't want my parents to find it. Wow.

Yeah, I mean, it's just, during that time, it's so good to have just like a little respite, if you will, and like definitely

like that broke through. Oh, God. If you ever can think about that in your stressful moments at work and you too, bitch. Well, I know there's some little fag out there watching checks. Well, God. If you ever can think about that in your stressful moments at work. And you too, bitch. You know there's some little fag out there watching checks.

Well, I just want to say really quickly because that story is first of all, I mean, wow. And second of all is reminding me that the first gay book

I ever touched, I like, it was at, they had it at the Smoky Hill Public Library. And it was this trashy, trashy book about this guy who falls in love with a gay club owner and they, whatever.

But I just throw it into my mom's pile that day. And I'm like, I want to check out this book. It's about, you know, two guys who are friends. And she's like, okay. And then she brings it over. I cannot be, I'm usually standing right next to her when we check out. And I just,

I did not have any means to be, to stand next to her while she like exchanged and passed this book over to the librarian who was scanning these books. What? No, I'm not saying. Okay, great.

It was just this like clear moment of shame when I was four shelves away peeking past like peeking over the shelf watching this go down because i was so afraid that this was like gonna blow up in my face but then the librarian sees the book and like glances over at my mom gives her a weird look and then like searches around scans around the room and locks eyes with me and in that moment I was like fuck she knew she knew that it was because we went to this

library all the time and she like knew to look for me and she like found me and she was like oh and it was this like deep deep deep deep deep moment of shame and like it was like and I basically like went home and like read through the book sped through the book in like two days and then yeah i mean i didn't burn it because i couldn't but like i would i would have you just didn't know how to make fire i just

didn't know how to make fire yeah and that librarian is the only person i think should get the death penalty absolutely for the trauma for the trauma anyway anyway but it's just like it's like i mean you know you know, you grew up in a, like when you grow up and you like truly like cannot bring yourself to like openly like the things that you want to like.

Yeah. Terrible. Terrible. You need these moments. You need these moments. And anyway, James. To make you happy. But James,

James would give us these moments that like we could openly love because it was being seen and embraced by everyone else. And that's what's important. And it is. That's like, that's what's important. That's like the case for mainstreaming something.

I know people are like, but it's, it's the case for it. And James is, I mean, just what I, what I meant to say earlier was the opportunity to sit down with James and just hear him talk about anything is I think like very, very,

very special. And I, and I love it. Every time you walk into my damn office, I'm like, what have I done to deserve James coming over? Anyway, this one, this deserve James coming over anyway this one this one

and this one we love you lucky boy and lucky readers lucky readers you're all very lucky at home thank you so much for doing this

thank you James and we end every episode with a song we end every episode with a song here we go wonderful share my life

take me for forward I am cause I'll never change all my color asshole forever dog this has been a forever dog production

executive produced by Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio and Alex Ramsey Forever Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team and liking our page on Facebook. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13

to being one of today's biggest artists. I was a desperate delusional dreamer. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one.

On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami? Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski.

And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind-the-scenes stories, crazy details, and honestly, just having a blast talking football. Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all times, from legends to our buddies to current stars. We're finally answering the age-old question, what kind of dudes are these dudes? We're going to find out Jules.

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