Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - "Gauntlet Du Gag" LIVE at Clusterfest

Episode Date: June 21, 2018

LIVE from San Francisco! Matt and Bowen bring us nonstop “I Don’t Think So, Honeys!” judged by Alaska Thunderfuck & Jinx Monsoon! LIVE!With Awkwafina, Sasheer Zamata, Joel Kim Booster, Dulce Sloan, Patti Harrison, Megan Gailey, Jaboukie Young-White, Amy Miller, Pat Regan, Molly Austin, Sydnee Washington, Marie Faustin, Dewayne Perkins, Lorelei Ramirez, Sam Taggart, Peter Smith, Rachel Pegram, Daniel Webb, Luke Null, Jon Gabrus, and Andrew Dismukes.---LAS CULTURISTAS HAS A PATREON! For $5/month, you get exclusive access to WEEKLY Patreon-ONLY Las Culturistas content!!https://www.patreon.com/lasculturistasSUBSCRIBE ON APPLE PODCASTS TODAY!CONNECT W/ LAS CULTURISTAS ON FACEBOOK & TWITTER for the best in "I Don't Think So, Honey" action, updates on live shows, conversations with the Las Culturistas community, and behind-the scenes photos/videos:twitter.com/lasculturistasLAS CULTURISTAS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASTforeverdogpodcasts.com/las-culturistas  Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Real Housewives of New York City are back for another bite of the Big Apple. Look who it is. Joined by elite new friends. Rebecca Minkoff. Have you ever heard of her? But things could change in a New York Minute. She had this wild night and ended up getting pregnant by some other guy. What?

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the podcast from Hello Sunshine that's guaranteed to light up your day. Check out our recent episode with actor and Emmy-winning producer Laverne Cox. I think you hit a certain age where it's just like it is so much energy trying to fake it and be somebody else that it's just so much easier to just be yourself. Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Oh, hey, it's Teresa back from the dead again. Just wanted to pop in and let you know that Haunting is back on October 22nd. Spooky season? I own spooky season.

We're serving up some killer stories, literally, and a few that might make you question whether you really locked the door before getting into bed. So cancel your lame Halloween plans. Haunted houses? Overdone. Candy corn? Honestly, who eats that? Your new tradition? Listening to me.

Listen to Haunting starting on October 22nd on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jacqueline Thomas, the host of a brand new Black Effect original series, Black Lit, the podcast for diving deep into the rich world of Black literature. Black Lit is for the page turners, for those who listen to audiobooks while running errands or at the end of a busy day.

From thought-provoking novels to powerful poetry, we'll explore the stories that shape our culture. Listen to Black Lit on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Forever. Dog. Look, man. Where? Oh, I see.

Wow. Bowen, look over there. Wow. Is that culture? Yes. Goodness. Wow. Lasen, look over there. Wow, is that culture? Yes. Oh my goodness. Wow. Las Culturistas.

OK, ready? One, two, three. Ding dong. Las Culturistas calling. Hi. Well, well, well. What a thrill. Hello, guys.

We just did the harrowing thing of entering without any entrance music. It was crazy. It was crazy, and we pulled it off somehow. How's everybody doing today, OK? Amazing. Is everyone here a San Franciscan? Who traveled for the event?

Ah! OK. OK, OK. OK, here's a bigger and bolder question. Franciscan? Who traveled for the event? Okay. Okay. Here's a bigger and bolder question. Who here even knows what this is or listens to our podcast? Come on, for several rows. Okay, for several rows. Well done.

Who has no idea? Let the fuck boost this. Yes. Okay. Hi, y'all. Love you, too. We're Las Culturistas. I'm Bowen Yang. And I'm Matt Rogers.

Thank you. Is that my bedrock? We've got some fun mask growls over here. Mask wearing growls. You don't have to pretend here. It's Las Culturistas. We're gay. There are no masks. I'm so excited to be here. What do we Coturistas. We're gay. There are no masks.

I'm so excited to be here. What do we think of SF so far? Oh, my God. I think it's beautiful in some parts. Sure. So Union Square area, ooh, baby. You could eat off the ground. And Tenderloin area, you could do drugs right off the ground.

Oh, sure. But it's beautiful. It's beautiful. It's not beautiful, but it's original. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When I touched down, something felt different. I'm a gay Asian person who used to work in tech. I should be the fucking mayor.

This is your city. This is my city. So it feels really special to be here. And New York is my city even more now because there's a Jimmy Buffett Margaritaville musical. So as you know, I'm Long Island Trash. Or if you don't know, hi, in the back, I'm Long Island Trash. Just memorize it. Commit that to memory.

That's the persona. Oh my god, you guys. We're about to do a show full of I Don't Think So Honeys. Who here knows what an I don't think so honey is? Okay, again, the front rows are living. For everyone who doesn't, an I don't think so honey is when we take one minute to rant feverishly against something in pop culture

that we cannot stand, that grinds our gears, makes us feel some sort of way, makes our skin just crawl, bitch. What's it been in I don't think so honey that you've been moved by to also hate that topic? Oh, God. You're putting me on the spot.

I don't think so honey. Someone did Leo DiCaprio. We have Sidney Washington who's going to be on stage soon to convince me to hate Leo. He's not environmentally friendly, Leo. No, he's got his yachts. As much as he loves to talk a big game. I recently did an I Don't Think So Honey on the

Aesop fable, When the Tortoise Beats the Hare. Because fuck that! How will the tortoise beat the hare physically, naturally? And also, even if the hare took a nap, it wouldn't be that long. It would not be that long. The tortoise never beats the hare. It's fucking crazy

to me. There's fucking holes in these stables. The fucking tortoise beats the hare. It's fucking crazy to me. The fucking tortoise beats the hare. Well, we're going to do that, and then we have an incredibly special guest here with us tonight to help judge the proceedings. This actually is very... We haven't actually been able to check in with each other about how crazy this is that they're here.

Yeah, this is wild. Are there any RuPaul's Drag Race fans in the house? Because of you! What? Because of us? The episode where you sit with all the guys and you chat your... Oh, yeah.

All the past episodes, and then I started watching, and I watched all of them. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Third row! Thank you, third row. Third row, you are a queen!

We are your queer sherpas. Do you know who's now obsessed with RuPaul's Drag Race? Leslie Jones. Have you, third row. Third row, you are a queen. We are your queer sherpas. Do you know who's now obsessed with RuPaul's Drag Race? Leslie Jones. Have you guys seen her Twitter? Did you guys see her Twitter? She fucking loves you guys now. She finally caught on. Well, anyway, we have two incredibly special...

She's like, RuPaul is funny. We're like, yeah. We know. Okay, two incredibly special guests. Two incredibly special guests. I mean, we're not even gonna sort of just blow that much smoke up their asses. We'll do it when they're on stage.

But please welcome to the stage two winners of RuPaul's Drag Race, Alaska Thunderfuckin' Jake Swanson! Come on! Hey! Hey! Oh my god, have some respect Have some respect

Have some respect Yes, you should be standing The third row, I'm telling you, the third row This girl in the third row, she's the star of this They're turning out They're turning out Alright, so you guys, we're so honored to have you. Yes.

Absolutely, Jinx. I agree. Can we ask you, like, this show is about pop culture grievances. What are some things in pop culture right now that you guys say, you know what, no. You know what I can say right away and why I'm so excited to be here with you guys is I don't know if you've noticed this, but there's a little bit of interior homophobia amongst gay celebrities right now. Because I listen to a lot of podcasts with my friends. And a lot of the gay guys who are on successful podcasts decidedly don't watch Drag Race.

As if, I just don't watch it.. You know, like as if like, I just don't, I don't watch it. I'm not that kind of gay guy. Oh God. Or like, and it's so hard. It's so hard to like trust them when they're like, just like, oh, it's just not for me. You know, it kind of seems like you're upset

that like now you've got a whole lot more competition. You know? Oh, sure. There's more people that are a lot fucking more talented than you. They have jaws. That's all they have. I'm not going to name any podcasts specifically, but it's like,

there are a lot of gay guys out there who like, they're female friends who do their podcasts with them. So you're already thinking of like the top three, like gay male, female duos out there. But a lot of the women are like, well, you gotta watch Drag Race. And then they say

like, no, I just really don't get into it. Drag isn't for me. And it's like, okay, so drag is for 13-year-old straight kids, but not for a Nelly queer guy like you. Did you hear me censor myself on the spot? Not a Nelly queer-queer guy.

Let's coin f-queer right here and now. F-queer! F-queer is when you want to just really say the slur, but you're like, let me take a left turn. But you're in mixed company. Not everyone is on the inside of the community, so you don't want to

ruffle their feathers. Wait, can I tell you an insecurity? So we did the RuPaul's Drag Race panel at Vulture Fest and Jinx was on it and then I started reading The Diva Rules by Michelle Visage and when we all came out I said the faggotry has begun

and then I was like oh no because I felt Michelle give me like a dirty look and then in the book on like page 18 she like, I hate the word faggot. Oh. So I felt very, ah, and I hate that word too. It just came out. I was excited. Well, here's the thing.

I mean, it's honestly, it's one of those things that's from person to person. I think we should respect that there are people who hate the word within the community. But then those people should also respect the fact that like there is something to be said to reclaiming the word within the community. But then those people should also respect the fact that there is something to be said to reclaiming the word and taking the power back for yourself. I think there's a lot of merit in that. But I think it's the older generation within

the queer community who have watched people be beaten to death, who have lost friends because of homophobia. That word resonates with them very differently and it kind of speaks to our millennial privilege that we use it like, yes, fag! Yes!

And it's like, actually, your father died so that you could use the word fag. That's why. And now we have faqueer, so why would we need the faqueers in the internet? Yeah, faqueer. Faqueer! Alaska,

do we start making jewelry a la your snake accessories that have Fakweer on them? Talk to us a little bit about the pieces. My favorite drag race queen is Madame Fakweer. Season five.

No, season four? Three. Yeah, four. Four. Yeah. four. Four. Yeah. Yeah. What are you hating in pop culture, babe? What are you not liking in pop culture?

What grinds your gears? I don't know if it's a pop culture thing, but I find it really difficult and challenging when I'm trying to watch a show, and I really love it, and I go to look it up, and okay, it's not on iTunes so I look on

Netflix and it's not there and then I look on Amazon and it's not there and it's been scrubbed from history. Like right now we're doing a reading of Spice World later. You can't watch Spice World. You can't find it anywhere. You are not allowed to

watch Spice World. It doesn't exist. Yeah. You are not allowed to watch Spice World. It doesn't exist. Yeah, no, it's gone. This is how it starts, people. The Nanny. The Nanny, the TV show. I was like, I want to watch The Nanny. And?

This is how it starts. Scrubbed from history. So I went on fucking eBay, I think, and I bought the box set. And I went on Amazon, and I bought a box set. And I went on Amazon and I bought a portable DVD player. And it's in my kitchen and now whenever I'm making tea or doing the dishes,

there's Fran. Yes, Fran! This is how it starts. Tomorrow we'll be living in Fahrenheit 451. You won't be able to get a single bit of queer literature anywhere. Drag queens will memorize Mommy Dearest so that future generations...

Too late. Tina! Damn it. If there is a technological Stone Age blackout, like a lot of people are saying there might be, I'm sorry that I'm terrifying everybody right now. Are people saying that? I'm hearing whisperings.

Reddit is going crazy. Reddit is going crazy with the technological stone age. I think it is on us to pass that down and to recite bullshit. Queer canon. Have you seen Bowen's lip sync of the Tyra Banks? He can do a perfect lip sync of the Tyra Banks

America's Next Top Model meltdown. You can't see it here. You have to subscribe. You have to subscribe. It's not stopped. So let's move forward with this competition

which is called the Gauntlet Dugag. So we're going to have 21 comments come out here in three groups of seven. They're all going to So, we're going to have 21 commas come out here in three groups of seven. They're all going to go. They're going to do their I Don't Think So Honeys. And at the

end of the groups, Alaska and Jinx are both going to choose one of them to move on to the finals. Now, we've given you pens, ladies, to write down your goddamn thoughts. And also, you guys, they can either pick a pre-selected topic to do an I Don't Think So Honey on, or we have

this The Troll Bowl. Tell them about The Troll Bowl. The Troll Bowl is a bowl of topics that we've written out that are meant to be hard to go negative on. Some past entries have included Sasha Maliha Obama, Julie Andrews, David Bowie,

the women of Broadway Like things that you have to go negative on No matter what Like unanimous celebration Yes And I think we should probably Just get right the hell into it We'll get right the hell into it

So we're gonna welcome our first group Yes and we have these little paddles Made of shitty paper To let everyone know When their time is almost up We were just We were playing Rue and Michelle Cause they do this constantly.

On Drag Race. It never makes it to air, but what they do is they hold up random things and just sit there. So you're standing on stage, your feet hurt because you've been standing there for 40 minutes, and they're in between shots or something, and Rue and Michelle But they're looking straight at you like

Oh, you better stop. But they're looking straight at you like... Oh, you better stop. You better stop. Just a little insider. Can I tell you something? And we're just going to say this because we're unshackled by publicists right now. We are unshackled. But when we had to do the panel with Jinx a couple weeks ago,

PR people were like, you cannot ask anything about behind the scenes like BTS. They can't say nothing. So, I mean, we're not going to tease this out of you now, but this is interesting. This is stuff we could have never gotten from the panel. Oh, that's why they come to these things,

you know? We're bringing out our first group and this is Team Chartreuse. We don't do straight colors. Please welcome Marie Faustin. Give it up for Amy Miller. For Molly Austin. John Gabrus. Straight, he's straight.

John Gabrus is straight. Dwayne Perkins. Joel Kimbooster. And Dulce Sloan. And Miss Dulce Sloan, everybody. Move on down, are there chairs? Okay, okay. Oh, okay. We've got enough chairs?

We don't have enough chairs. Gays don't count. We estimate. Get in the crowd. Show off your shoulders in San Francisco. We make an approximate estimation. Okay, here we go. The first person to the mic is going to be Marie Faustin.

Marie, welcome. Here we go. Give it up, y'all. Marie, what's it going to be, pre-selected or troll bowl? It's pre-selected, but I wrote it on the stage. Okay. Amazing. So, I'm going to give it to you.

I'm going to give it to you. Here we go. Give it up, y'all. Marie, what's it going to be? Pre-selected or troll bowl? It's pre-selected, but I wrote it on the stage. Okay. Amazing. Oh, shoes, by the way. Oh, thank you so much. Thank you. Marie, are we ready?

I'm prepared. This is Marie Faustin's I Don't Think So, Honey. Her time starts now. I Don't Think So, Honey, all the people who went to Wyoming for Kanye West's album release. Kanye Elizabeth West invited 150 people to Wyoming and flew them out there to listen to the album. First of all, Wyoming is canceled, okay? We weren't going before.

We're definitely not going now for fresh air and mountains. And the Great Lakes, are those in Wyoming? Don't nobody care, okay? Let me run through the trash ass guest list for y'all real quick. Kim Kardashian was there with her fake ass, hard ass butt. Because she's his beard, right? Khloe Kardashian was there... These are facts, facts, facts, facts.

Khloe Kardashian was there alone because them men don't love her. 15 seconds. Kris Jenner was there with her new face pulled tighter than a virgin's ass. That's my butt right there. And north, south, east, west were there. Five seconds. Let me tell you

something. Kanye West is trash. He will continue to be trash. Nobody that is better than me was there. Michelle Obama wasn't there. Beyonce didn't come because she don't F with them. They look busy and blessed. And that's what it is! That is Maurice Buston, everybody. Standing O from Alaska. All right, a standing O.

All right. The game is afoot. Everyone give it up for Miss Amy Miller. Prove it to us, girlfriend. Thanks for having me. Are we going to do pre-selected or the troll, but we love you? Pre-selected, local references.

Amazing. This is Amy Miller's. I don't think so, honey. amy miller's i don't think so honey your time starts now i don't think so honey san francisco oh shit i was born here bitch and it sucks now i used to be sexy and dirty and now it's just a pile of fucking boat shoes and app scooters fuck the tech scene oh i'm sorry you don't want to see homeless people when you're getting to your startup job at 11 a.m.? Maybe you should get them some of your fucking Bitcoin, Travis.

I hope a mentally ill veteran throws cum on your Patagonia, you balding incel. 30 seconds! Oh, I'm sorry, you've lived in the Bay for two years and you're a Warriors fan now? Suck a dick. You know like men used to do here? 15 seconds.

Fucking learn how to drive, learn how to parallel park, learn how to cross the street. You live in a city now, honey. I have an idea for an app, honey. It's called Jump Off the Fucking Bridge, Travis. Five seconds. You're so bad at being San Franciscans,

you're not Chinese or gay. I don't think so, honey. That's one minute. Amy Miller viciously attacking the city we are currently in. Vicious. But she's a native. She's a local. Next up, Molly Austin.

It's Molly Austin, folks. With the fashion. Okay, so talk to us about your decision. Were you the troll bowl or a preselected topic I did a preselected Go on girl This is Molly Austins, I don't think so honey, her time starts now Hello honey, it's me, and I don't think so

Justin Timberlake Oh bitch He's not good He's not good The Mirrors album, I don't even want to fucking hear it. You put it on the party, party's over. He built his career on appropriating black culture and on the backs

of two pop icons and national treasures, Janet Jackson and Britney Spears. Yes! Everybody blames Britney Spears' meltdown on Kevin Federline, but no. But no, but no, but no. It was Justin Timberlake.

He betrayed her. He betrayed her in her most vulnerable hour. Okay? Justin Timberlake didn't have a career when he left NSYNC. He came out on stage all by himself. And what did people do? They boo, boo, boo, right? And he cried, he cried, he cried.

So what did he do? He framed Britney Spears in a Cry Me a River music video. Then he has the nerve to be a Kate Spade purse knockoff version of Michael Jackson and what does he do? He rips his sister's titty out at a Super Bowl

and then he gets his own Super Bowl? No! No! That is not funny! Molly Austin destroyed Justin Timberlake. Yes, another standing O.

That was amazing. Well done. Well done, Molly. We all hate him now. And please welcome to the stage the token straight of this group, John Gabriel. John Gabriel.

Freedom for straights. I'm straight. I wore the hat like this so you guys could know. Thank you. It feels good to be a diversity hire. We bravely offer you on stage to the crowd. It's about time a white straight male got something.

I want to take a hit of the bowl, boys. Take it out of us! Okay, here we go. No, I pick for you. You stand over there. We pick for us. This is not your rules. This is our...

You have everything else. I pick the bowl because I don't know any of the rules of this fucking thing. Okay, bitch. Your I don't think so, honey topic is the name Tori. And John Gabrus, your minute starts now. Hi, honey, it's me. I don't think so. The stars are overhead.

Listen for a second, Tori. I have a question for you, Tori. You are either what? Tori spelling a political party or a white dude with flip-flops on. I mean, now there's only one Tori I know in my life, and he's a male

and he died of cancer, so I feel uncomfortable riffing on him, but he was such a douche before he passed. You know when you die and you get retroactive kindness, where everyone's like, at my father's funeral people would go, like, he was a great man and I'd be like, he wasn't.

Like, I get it today, we'll say it, but tomorrow I'm telling my therapist Barry something else. 15 seconds. Alright, let's be honest, if you're Tori, you're one step away from being named Tanya. I'm sorry, Tori, but there's only so many jet ski instructors

you could fuck on this spring break. I think that's how Tori the Trollbolt works. And that's one minute. Brilliantly done. Do we have any Toris in the audience? Are there any Toris here? Tori? Is there a Tori?

It's okay. It's a safe space. Oh, my God. Thank God. We're safe. Next up is Dwayne Perkins. Dwayne Perkins. The jacket. The jacket. The jacket. The jacket. The jacket. Ooh,kins. Dwayne Perkins. The jacket.

The jacket. The look. The jacket. Ooh, baby. Dwayne, what's it going to be? Pre-selected or the troll bowl? Ah, pre-selected. Okay.

This is Dwayne Perkins' I Don't Think So, Honey. His time starts now. Cool. I don't think so, honey. White women. I mean, not all, just most. Either they're terrified of me or too friendly. I'm wearing a Puerto Rican grandmother shirt.

How can you be afraid of me? But I will take your purse. I mean, at least 53% of you have to die. 30 seconds. I mean, I mostly just want to be you, and I'm very jealous that you have privileges that I don't. Like, speaking to managers all the time. Wearing bro chais.

15 seconds. Not having lips. Oh my God. Five seconds. I want to give you some encouragement to go out there and thrive, but stop calling the cops on black people. Thank you so much.

I have one minute to wait for a message. Deliver. Okay, next up, it is our good Judy, Joel Kim Booster. He will be in Spice World, the reading later. In this very room, Joel. Yes, in this very room. I think I know what this is, preselected.

Yeah, I didn't realize the trouble would be an option, and I also didn't realize Matt's family would be in the second row. Hey, bitch. That's all three of them. There they are. This is going to be rough for you guys. This is Joel Kim Boosters. I don't think so, honey.

As time starts now. I don't think so, honey, that fart that comes the day after you bought them and a little cum comes out. I do not think so, honey. I am trying to live my day after I have given it up to a man the night before without a condom.

Yes, I know that's dangerous, but I am on prep. So I do not think so, honey, this cum coming out of my asshole, ruining a pair of underwear, and reminding me that I will not get HIV, but I might get that super gonorrhea strain and die in a hospital

because I couldn't get a shit transplant. I do not think so, honey. This seminal experience that every gay man in this audience has experienced at one point in their life not being represented in mainstream Hollywood gay films. Love, Simon? Give me

the scene of Love, Simon cleaning out his dirty drawers, okay? I don't think so, honey. Call me by your name, Timothy Chalamet. I know you got some army sperm up in there. I want to see him talk about the shrimp factory that ends up in his underwear.

I don't think so, honey. If people come for me because this isn't pop culture, my ass is culture, bitch. That's what I'm saying. My ass is culture, bitch. Jolt and booster. Amazing. We have now to close out group one.

Give it up for Dulce Sloan! Dulce the Lord. All right, so talk to us. Is it a pre-selected topic or the troll bowl? I'm going to do pre-selected because there's something that's on my heart right now. Okay, let's hear about that. This is Dulce Sloan's I Don't Think So Honey.

Her time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Broke dude's talking to me crazy. What the fuck? You were in my house fucking me and you want to pay me back for a toothbrush? You broke bitch. The fuck are you talking about?

Talk about how much water you use in the shower. Honey, I've been getting money since the Clintons was in office. Do not fuck with me, alright? And now you want to come in my house arguing with me about my curtains and everything that's going on in here? Honey, I don't even know if you have a place to live, alright? Because to come in my house arguing with me about my curtains and everything that's going on in here? Honey, I don't even know if you have a place to live, all right? Because you walked in my house with two backpacks and that should have been the fucking warning. Thirty seconds! Thirty seconds.

Now I know you got to see you on a regular basis because your girl is out here working in these streets, but I promise you I don't give a fuck about you, your ex-wife, your baby mom, and them two kids, because they ain't finna be in my shit ever. Fifteen seconds! You want to cook for me? You want to do all of this? You want to say broke argument with me? Your ex-wife, your baby mom, and them two kids, because they ain't finna be in my shit ever. 15 seconds. You want to cook for me? You want to do all of this? You want to say broke arguing with me? Sweetheart, I'm too pretty, I'm too famous,

and you found the right fucking one today. Oh, my God. Five seconds. So in closing, if you got a nice, rich Jewish man with a boat, tell him to holler at your girl later on tonight. And that's why I made it! Wow.

The team chartreuse really came for a wide-ranging variety of topics. We're going to go to Jinx and Alaska for some feedback and your decisions. You each get to pick one of these folks to move on to the final round of the Gauntlet. Amazing. Let's get some thoughts, some impressions. Well, there was a lot

of good stuff there, you guys. There's a lot of good things coming out of some of you. The straight guy went on about an ambiguous Tory figure. I love that. Is it weird that the one straight male was the one guy who pulled from the troll bowl?

Is that saying something about straight male creativity? I don't know. That's for you, the audience, to decide. But I'm not mad at you. This fall on Bravo. It's time to turn up. Think you've seen it all? I don't think you've been a good friend to me lately.

We're friends like that. Who needs enemies? You ain't seen nothing yet. Cheers to being Germanic. With the Real Housewives of Potomac. Oh my gosh, can I take this in? It's gonna be amazing. New York City.

Everyone is a gossip. No one gets a happier life. Salt Lake City. We don't wear costumes, we wear fashion. And below deck sailing. You broke the rules and now you're here getting upset. Watch all new seasons on Bravo or stream it on City TV+.

Let's have a real good time. This week, Charlamagne the God sits down with Vice President Kamala Harris for a conversation you don't want to miss. Listen, I feel very strongly I need to earn every vote, which is why I'm here having this candid conversation with you and your listeners.

They tackle the big questions, politics, policy, and what's next for the country. I am running to be president for everybody, but I am clear-eyed about the history and the disparities that exist for specific communities, and I'm not going to shy away from that. Don't miss this in-depth interview with Charlemagne Tha God and Vice President Kamala Harris, only on The Breakfast Club. Catch the full interview now on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hey, everybody. It's Matt Rogers. Back when I was a server, I was one bad day away from a huge personal crisis. Thankfully, Giving Kitchen is here to serve those that serve us. Giving Kitchen is a nonprofit helping any food service worker who gets hurt, gets sick, loses a family member or their housing. That's giving relief. So when you or someone you know is in crisis, tell them to ask for help from Giving Kitchen by visiting givingkitchen.org. That's givingkitchen.org. Together, we are Giving Kitchen. We help food service workers.

Hey there, my little creeps. It's your favorite ghost host, Teresa. And guess what? Haunting is back, dropping October 22nd, just in time for spooky season. Now, I know you've probably been wandering the mortal plane, wondering when I'd be back to fill your ears with deliciously unsettling stories. Well, wonder no more. Because we've got a ghoulishly good lineup ready for you. Let's just say things get a bit extra. We're talking spirits, demons, and the kind of supernatural chaos that'll make your Halloween season complete.

You know how much I love this time of year. It's the one time I'm actually on trend. So grab your pumpkin spice, dust off that Ouija board, just don't call me unless it's urgent, and tune in for new episodes every week. Remember, October 22nd, the veils are thin, the stories are spooky, and your favorite ghost host is back and badder than ever. Listen to Haunting starting on October 22nd on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Jinxie, wow. Well, Alaska, what do we think? I just want to say I wasn't expecting this to be so hilarious and amazing. I had no idea what to expect coming in here. We literally were just putting on Jinx's panty girdles two seconds ago, and then they thrust us onto the stage, and I'm just dying. Everyone was so funny. Thank you.

Thank you. We're so happy you're enjoying this. Oh my god. Give it up for Alaska enjoying this. Give it up for Alaska's pleasant surprise. I just want to say that no matter Alaska enjoying this. She loves it. She didn't even look at what she lost. Pleasant surprise. I just want to say that no matter what happens, I think you all are winners. With that said, we must each make a

decision. So Jinx, who have you chosen to go on to the final round? We actually agree on both our decisions. We each picked one, but we both picked both of you. Yeah. And I'm going to announce Mary Faustin. Mary Faustin.

Mary Faustin. Thank you. And you'll get ten extra points if you bring me a glass of wine next time you come up here. And Alaska? Molly Oz does. Wow. Oh, my God. Marie and Molly are moving on.

Thank you, Team Chartreuse. Give it up for Marie. Amy. John Gabrus. Dwayne Perkins. Joe Kimbooster. And Joe Kimbooster. This is unbelievable.

We have two finalists, y'all. All right, it's time to move on to Team Azure. Wow. Is that the pronunciation? Team Azure. Azure. Couldn't fucking tell you what color this is. I know her. She works in Tampa. Wow. Is that the pronunciation? Azure. Azure. Couldn't fucking tell you what color this is. I know her.

She works in Tampa. Yes. Tampa's in the house, actually. Tampa's in the house. Thank you, St. Pete's. Please give it up for Megan Gailey. Megan Gailey. And Peter Smith is in the house.

Get a load of this. Peter the Look Pierrot for Rachel Pegram. Give it up for our token straight, Luke Knoll. Token straight, he's straight. He's straight. And give it up for Daniel Webb. Everybody,

please give it up for Miss Patty Harrison. And finally, finally, we have Sashir Zameda in the house. Yes! The fanny pack follows the clear bag policy rules. I love it.

Well, thank you, Team Azure. Azure. First up. Is it Azure or Azure? I'm sure it varies from person to person. It's up to as your. Is it as your or as your? I'm sure it's it varies from person to person. It's up to the culture. Please welcome to the dais we have Megan Gailey.

Come on Megan Gailey. Yes, old outfit. Come on. So Megan, talk to us. Will you be giving us a pre-selected topic or the troll bowl? I'm going to do a pre-selected topic that I have a lot of passion on that I could go on and on and on and on and on and on and on.

Oh, here we go. But we have a minute. This is Megan Gailey's I Don't Think So, Honey. Her time starts now. I Don't Think So, Honey, the way that Disney has tried to erase Daisy Duck. Oh! What the fuck are they doing? She is a feminist icon!

Yes, bitch. She is one of the most incredible cartoon characters of all time. She has a purse, she has heels, she tells Donald when he is fucking in the wrong, Yes. and she is just gone while they celebrate Pluto? Pluto is barely literate.

He is a dog. He is dumb. And I'm going to try to be shitty to Minnie. Minnie is clearly created by a white man with an Asian fetish. Yes. This is so. Does she go, I'm a dog. Go, go, go, go, go, go.

No, that's not okay. Daisy is here when we need her at the most. She is speaking truth. She is out there going, no, you are a deadbeat. Look at my duck booty. Watch out. Five seconds. You can't find her anywhere.

And you know what? Daisy Duck will not go quietly into the gentle night. And that's one minute. Wow. Megan Gailey. Daisy Duck, feminist icon speaking truth to power in each of her days. Incredible. Now let's welcome to the stage Peter Smith.

Peter Smith, approach. Peter. Peter. We're gagged for the look. Hi. Talk to us. Talk to you. Talk to you.

About? About. Is this going to be pre-selected or trouble? This is going to be pre-cently selected. Oh, recently pre. Recently. I love that about you. This is Peter Smith's

There I Don't Think So Honey starts now. I Don't Think So Honey Wine Shops. I know you Northern Californians thinking, don't bite the hand that feeds you. We all paid for tickets today. The Land of Sideways, starring Sandra Oh. Thank you. And nobody else.

Vijay Madsen, for sure. Vijay. You walk into a wine shop and they say, do you need help? Yes, I fucking need help. If I didn't need help, I would have a wine shop. Thank you very much. And then this white supremacist bullshit.

Each and every bottle is a different special snowflake. It's a grape. You are turning grapes into poison. Okay? I don't stick my nose into a sun-made raisin box special snowflake. It's a grape. You are turning grapes into poison, okay? I don't stick my nose into a sun-made raisin box and I'm like, oh, leather and cherry, you know? I don't do that. Fifteen seconds. On one end of the spectrum we've got it dry, on the other we've got it wet.

And on the wet side, what, they all become different, special little things? No. It is poison. There are millions, millions of people in jail for selling weed. But you, some dude named Vladimir, who's like, I think you're like the Grenache, you go to jail.

That's one minute! You go to jail! Anyone talking about the Grenache? Vladimir's gotta go to jail. Thank you, Peter Smith. And now, please welcome to the mic, Rachel P. Graham! Rachel! The jumpsuit is... God bless. Peter Smith. And now, please welcome to the mic, Rachel Pegram. Rachel! Oh, oh, oh.

The jumpsuit is... Rachel, God bless. Wow. What do we think? Yes. You know, I didn't know that the bowl would be here. You knew she's always here. But we're going to go pre-select.

Okay. She's in my head. She's in my head. We'll let her out. We'll let her out. This is Rachel Pegram. I don't think so, honey. Her time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Her time starts now.

I don't think so, honey. Eggs from real ass farms. Okay? I don't want it. All right? That yolk is too yellow. It's neon Chernobyl ass yellow. I cracked it open and I said I don't recognize that egg.

I want my eggs mustard yellow, okay? I want my government-issued eggs, okay? If I go to a farm, I don't want an egg that's like, ooh, a chicken laid it. I've opened it, I've eaten it. I don't know what it tastes like. Craziness, madness in my mouth, unrecognizable to anything I've ever had in my whole life.

I want an egg that tastes like water, all right? I don't want a flavorful egg. I want my nasty-ass shit that I get that's cheap as hell coming out of the little styrofoam thing. One of them's cracked in the back. I don't want these. Every egg is special and individual. Bitch, no! All right?

For a second. If the chickens being all close together means I get an egg that I recognize, then I guess you can call PETA and arrest me, okay? And that's what I made it! Arrest her, Rachel B. Graham! Rachel B. Graham, government-issued egg. Everyone, it's our straight in this group.

Luke, no! Luke, no! Luke, no! Thank you so much. Luke, pleasure to have you. Okay, what are we thinking? Are we going for a pre-selected topic or the Trill Bowl, Luke? Luke Knoll! Luke Knoll! Brave! Thank you so much. Luke! Pleasure to have you. Okay, what are we thinking? Are we going for a pre-selected topic or the troll bowl, Luke?

I was thinking about it, and I think I feel like I could get through my pre-selected topic with enough time to do a troll bowl. Wow! Okay, so what are you saying? You want to do the pre-selected topic for 30 seconds, and then at 30 you want me to pull something out? I'm talking... This is unprecedented. I'm thinking like 45.

45, you want me to pull it? unprecedented. I'm thinking like, like 45. 45, you want me to pull it? Okay, okay, now. all right, okay. All right.

Wait, we're doing trouble first? No, no, no, we're doing this pre-select. I'll do my pre-select. This has never been done before.

I'm gonna try it, I'm gonna try it. 45 seconds of your topic and then a 15 second trouble which will shock you. Yeah, it will shock you. Okay,

this is Luke Knowles. Okay. I don't think so, honey. His time starts now. I don't think so, honey. His time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Adults, like grown-ass men and women who are super into Disney. I'm sorry.

Oh, I know! The movies are made for children. I'm sorry. And they're emotionally manipulative. And they're killing people's grandmas. They killed Mulan's grandma. They killed Pocahontas' grandma. They're turning grandmas into skeletons and manta rays and shit.

If you commissioned a minimalist poster of Lilo and Stitch, you shouldn't also have a really nice exposed brick apartment in Atlanta. Also, I know a grown-ass woman who has Hakuna Matata tattooed across her boob zone. And she has, that means no worries for the rest of her days, but she has a child. So maybe some worries for some of your days. Also, it's like, they call it peter pan syndrome for a reason your topic is the first amendment the first amendment guys i don't think so honey first amendment not everyone should be able to say what they want to say like there are

so many people every day on twitter who are making that more and more evident. Thank you. And that's one minute. Tom Pico from Luke Knopf. Thank you, baby. Wow, and all in time. Amazing. Well, next up we have Daniel Webb. Daniel Webb for the stage. Hello.

Hi, Daniel. Hi. Hi. Hi. So what do we think? Pre-select the topic or the troll ball? Pre-select. Okay.

I got all the trolls in my ball. This is Daniel Webbs. I don't think so, honey. His time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Dead Barbara Bush. That's right. The bitch we invaded Iraq and she dressed as a dog and wrote a book.

Fuck dead Barbara Bush. Are you kidding me? That bitch, the pearls, what a statement. Are you, what the bitch should have used their old Nazi money to give that neck of hers a Lufthansa. That's a, thank you, that's a three generation bilingual joke. Fuck that bitch. She was surrounded, she died surrounded by family and loved ones and two war criminals.

Fuck you dead Barbara Bush. This fucking bitch. Thirty seconds. We are nuts in this world about like making martyrs out of dead people when she died, right? I mean, remember when Paul Walker died? 9,000 Fast and Furious movies and they all suck and then he died and the world lost its mind and then two days later Nelson Mandela died and nobody cared right? It's like in the fucking 90s when Princess Diana died in the world lost its mind and Mother Teresa died two days later and nobody

cared. We always lose somebody gorgeous and fuckable and then like two days later We lose somebody you might have sex with because they did Something nice for humanity. I mean Nelson Mandela was a handsome man, but let's be honest The only reason Mother Teresa ever got any dick was because the woman had no teeth No one talks about that no one ever talks about that They don't talk about that enough. In schools. They don't teach it in schools.

About why she got dick, really. Well, let's welcome to the stage, Patty Harrison. Patty Harrison, everybody! Oh, they're doing the... Oh, they're doing the Ruin Michelle. Okay, listen. Patty, are we doing Pre-Selected Topic

or the Troll Bowl? I wanted to do the Troll Bowl, but I think that there's something that I've been thinking a lot about that's very important to me. Okay. I think I just need to get it out. All right. Okay.

Thank you, Patty. This is Patty Harrison's I Don't Think So Honey. Her time starts now. I don't think so, honey. The sloth bear of my store. No, eh, queen? Yeah, you all know what it is. In case you don't know what the sloth bear of Mysore. No way, queen. Yeah, you all know what it is. In case you don't know what the sloth bear of Mysore is.

In 1957, a sloth bear in India invaded a village and killed and ate 12 people and maimed over 27. Not on my watch, queen. No way, bitch. Oh, nasty bear. I hate that bear. And some more context on a sloth bear. So what makes this bear so violent is that sloth bears have really long claws.

And a lot of bears, even grizzly bears, have short enough claws that they can climb trees to escape. So they have a fear response. But sloth bears' response is always to fight. And that's a lot of times. It doesn't just eat you. It'll maim you and leave you alive. It'll chew on your face and all your sensory organs. And I'm getting so fucking

worked up over this because they're allowed to exist. So if you see a fucking sloth bear in San Francisco, do what you need to do, bitch. That's one minute. You gotta look out for those sloth bears, bitch. Patty, we're so sorry we had to put you

through that. Thank you for sharing. That was emotional. Everyone, welcome Sashir Zameda! Oh my god, it is jumpsuit season. I love. Yeah, that's right. Okay. You're an old pro.

What's it gonna be? What's it gonna be? Sloth, you're a troll ball. I gotta pre-select. Pre-select. Thank god. This is Sashir Zameda's I Don't Think So Honey. Her time starts now.

I Don't Think So Honey. Her time starts now. I Don't Think So Honey, trees in cages. You know when you're walking down the street and you see a tree minding its own business on the sidewalk and it's in a full-ass cage around the trunk? What are we so afraid of? What do we think is going to happen? Oh, it's just trying to live its life and give us oxygen so we can breathe honey.

The worst that could happen is that, what, it grows like it's supposed to and the roots uplift the sidewalk? Well, good. Uplift all the sidewalks. We shouldn't even have them. We're invading the tree space more than the trees are invading our space.

And really, this is all a microcosm of the American justice system just like the black man didn't ask to be brought to this country trees did not ask to be inside walks five seconds sidewalks did not land on, wait, trees? And that's one minute! Trees didn't land on sidewalks, sidewalks landed on trees. Yes! There you go, that's the Shears of Veda.

Something to think about that no one ever talks about. No one ever talks about that. I just heard a peep out of Alaska, she said, oh my god, this is too hard, this is a good group. This is a very good group, but we need some feedback. Let's start with you, Jinx. First of all,

yes to every queen who came in a panted romper today. Yes, bitch! Yes, queen! Reclaiming your femininity and your masculinity at the same time, bitch. Enjoy now. Okay, I think

there's just so much good stuff I'm gonna just claim my winner right now and it's because I fucking hate eggs I hate them so much, so the fact that you hate any kind of egg, whether it be

farm fresh or government issued, I feel like we're on the same team. So my winner is Rachel P. Graham. I'm not going to pronounce a single name correctly tonight. Rachel P. Graham.

Miss Alaska Thunderfuck. Our other winner is... And I kept mishearing her name on the mic, and I thought that you were saying Patty Hearst, but her name is related to the Hearst. I was like, where? But this is our other winner, Patty Harrison. Patty Harrison!

Please give it up for everyone in Team Azure. Megan Gailey, Peter Smith, Rachel Pegram, Luke Knoll, Daniel Webb, Patty Harrison, and Sasheer Zameda. Yes, and Sasheer. Wow. You guys, it's a tight competition. It's tight, isn't it? So tight. I mean, can we give honorable mention to Sashir for the

treason cages? Come on. I never even thought of that. The wild card round. There is no wild card round, people. Okay, so listen. Now we have Team Fuchsia. Oh, baby. Team Fuchsia. Tell them all about it, Bowen. This is a pretty stacked group,

so please welcome to the stage, first up, Sydney Washington. Yes! Here you go! Everyone, what's up? Say hello to Sam Taggart! And then please welcome Lorelei Ramirez. Yes!

Come on, Lorelei Ramirez! Everyone, give it up for Andrew Dismukes, who is our straight. The straight of the group. The red jacket, though. Oh, your straight fell on the ground. Next up, we have the great Jaboukie Young-White. Yes. We have three-time Last Culture Reasons Icon Award winner, Pat Regan.

Yes, honey. And finally, we have the star of Ocean's 8, Crazy Rich Asians, Awkwafina! Awkwafina is here! Yes, Norla! Oh my god. Alright, people.

Everyone, welcome Sydney Washington to the mic at this time. Yes! What do we got? We got pre. Hold on one second. This is Sydney Washington's at this time. Yes. Yes. What do we got? What do we got? We got pre, pre-select. Pre-select, yes. Okay, hold on one second. This is Sydney Washington's

I Don't Think So Honey. Her time starts now. I Don't Think So Honey, Mary-Kate and Ashley. Yes, I could drag them on the men that they choose or their terrible clothing line, but this shit is personal.

These two bitches came to my job, I'm a waitress, right? They came in, first of all, I didn't know who they were because they had dusty ballet flats and they looked like two homeless little boys. Oh! But everybody knew who they were and I was like, who are these dirty people?

Why are they here? Why are they here, right? 30 seconds. So they come in and they kiki'ing, they with the entourage, They got their $50,000 bag, right? They get all their shit. I give them the bill. I was like, okay, they got coins. They're going to pay me,

right? First, they put an $800 over tip. I said, yes! I'm going on a trip. Yes, I'm paying my rent. Then one of the twins, I don't know which twin it was, but she said, no, no, no, that's too much. What? That's just enough. I need more actually. So then they scratched that out and put $600. I was like, okay, I can still work with that. I can still work with that. Then another fuck on the

back was like, nah, that's too much money. They scratched that out. They scratched that shit out so many times. They left me $50. These dusty bitches left me $50 and on behalf of every black waitress at work, I don't think so, honey. Mary-Kate and fucking Ashley. I'm not that funny. But I had to hear the end of that story, bitch.

God bless. Fuck those ghosts. They are ghosts. We love them. No, we love them. God bless. Fuck those ghosts. They are ghosts. We love them. We love them, though. No, we love them. No, we love them. Next up, we have our friend Sam Taggart.

Sam Taggart. Hey, Samuel. How are you? How are you? Oh, my God. Are you nervous? So nervous. Oh, my God.

Don't be, bitch. You're going to absolutely sweat it. Shut up. I'm an idiot. We believe in you so much. You look amazing tonight. Shut up. I look like shit.

No, you look so good, Sam. No, I look like absolute garbage. Afterwards, we're going to talk about how good you look. I love you. I love believe in you so much. You look amazing tonight. Shut up. I look like shit. No, you look so good, Sam. No, I look like absolute garbage. Afterwards, we're going to talk about how good you look. I love you. I love you too, babe. I'm an idiot. Okay, what do you pick? Do you pick pre-selected or the troll bowl?

I thought about this a lot. Okay. And I'm going to pick pre-selected. Okay. Okay. Interesting. This is Sam Taggart's I Don't Think So, Honey. His time starts now.

I don't think so, honey. Sir Nicholas Jonas and the gay men who allow him to continue. Yes! Does he even make music? I just see these gay men worshipping him and his fucking hot-ass body. Like, who cares?

I'm not trying to be a bitch, but if you're a gay man and you want a hot ass baddie, probably just look in the mirror and you probably work out all the time. Odds are you work out all the time. 30 seconds. Nick Jonas has a hold over you.

It is a spell. And I feel that there is something larger happening here with the government. I don't want to talk about conspiracy theories, but something is up. I honestly feel that at the snap of Sir Nicholas's finger, you would kill. 15 seconds. You would turn to your partner and you would kill.

And look, I don't want to get into these conspiracies. But you are under a spell by the government that controls Sir Nicholas Jonas. Look inside yourself. And that's one minute. It's true. It's a call to action.

It's true. We all need to really think about where we're at. Okay. Coming to the stage is Lorelai Ramirez, everyone. Lorelai. Hi, Lorelai. Do we know what we're doing? Is it going to be pre-selected or troll ball? It's pre-selected.

Okay. This is Lorelai Ramirez's I Don't Think So Honey. Her time starts now. I don't think so honey. My big, big bonner I cannot control. It's so big. It's so big it hurts. Every time I think of men falling from the sky

or sexy ladies, it just gets bigger and bigger and bigger. And then it goes into the side of my eyes and the side of my brain and it comes out of my ears. You know what I'm talking about. You know what I'm talking about. You know what I'm talking about. Let's cheer for my big, big boner.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't think so, honey. My big, big boner goes down when I think about Kristen Stewart. She's bad. She supports Woody Allen. That's really bad. Did you know that there's a tape of Kristen

Stewart as a little kid sucking on Woody Allen's dick? It's on my Apple TV. I got it and I watch it and I got a big big big big boner. Oh yeah. I don't think so honey. Me.

Wow. That's one minute. Lorelai Ramirez or whoever that little boy was. Lorelai. That little boy was funny. That was beautiful. All right. And now give it up for Andrew Dismuels.

Yes. Bravery. Okay. Okay, Andrew. All right, hon. Hi. Hello. Hi, hi.

We have something written down on some paper. That's called the truffle. No, I'm saying you're holding it. Oh, Andrew. Hi, hello. Hi, hi. We have something written down on some paper. That's called a truffle. No, I'm saying you're holding it. Oh, you have that. Yes, I have notes. So it seems like preselected. Yeah, I couldn't even memorize a minute of material. Okay, that's okay, baby.

That's okay, babe. Okay, Andrew, this is your I Don't Think So, Honey, and his time starts now. Okay, I Don't Think So, Honey escape rooms. Yeah. Y'all familiar with this white nonsense, San Francisco?

Yeah. Escape rooms are proof that white people will pay money to feel like they can't get out of something. It's not just white, it's also nerd shit. What are you doing? You went on a website for an escape room in LA.

It says it's great for dates, family outings, and corporate team building events. You know what's never good? Anything that's all three of those. 15 seconds. If you've ever been on a date and been like, this would be a great corporate team building exercise, it's probably a terrible date. It's nerd shit.

You wouldn't wear a fedora on a date. You wouldn't wear a fedora on a date. And going on a date to an escape room is like locking a woman inside a fedora. All right, guys. I'm not kidding. Andrew Disswicks, everybody. That was really good.

That's real good. Everyone, it is time for Jaboukie Young-Wai. Jaboukie Young-Wai. Yes, yes, yes. What's up? What's up?

What's up, Jaboukie? What are we doing? I have pre-selected. Okay. I'm going to read it off my phone like a 2011 Drake freestyle. Okay. Ooh, the shade. R.I.P. R.I.P. R.I. Okay. I'm going to read it off my phone like a 2011 Drake freestyle. Okay. Ooh, the shade.

R.I.P. R.I.P. R.I.P. Jaboukie turned on Drake so fast. So quick. I was his biggest supporter. He is the light-skinned queen. He is our queen.

He is our queen. We answer to that. This is Jaboukie Young-White's I Don't Think So Honey. His time starts now. I Don't Think So Honey honey. His time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Lettuce. You nasty bitch. Lettuce is the honeydew of leafy greens.

100%. 100%. She just sits there and she takes up space and she lets the other one shine at best. And you know what's fucked up? You know what's fucked up? Miss Spinach has been out here putting in work for years. Miss Spinach has been doing so much. She's crossed over. She has done smoothies,

wraps, motherfucking casserole. But look, but look, people say that she doesn't play in middle America so she doesn't have as big of a career as Lettuce does. You know how fucked up that is? That's fucked up. That's fucked up. Also, Iceberg Lettuce, what the fuck are you doing? lettuce does you know how fucked up that is that's fucked up that's fucked up also iceberg lettuce

what the fuck are you doing like bitch i don't think so honey like you could be using that water to like give to thirsty humans but like instead like that shit tastes like cum drenched cardboard and like that is on a good day, honestly. That shit is so nasty. That's one minute! I did you dirty, but I think it was enough. That was a good place to end on. No. The Faith Hill

of vegetables. You discussed it. Spinach has crossed over. The Faith Hill of vegetables. That's spinach. Spin dip. Exactly. It's become an appetizer. She's crossed over. She's the face hill. She showed us versatility.

Yes. She has the range. And now it is time for Pat Regan. Okay. A lot of love for Pat. A lot of love for Pat. Who knows? Pat.

What's this going to be? What I've selected is pre-sale. Okay. This is Pat Regan's. I don't think so've selected is pre-sale. Okay. This is past freaking... I don't think so, honey. This time starts now. I actually don't think so, honey. Troye Sivan.

Oh, no! Okay. Okay, first, you're like a 22 gay successful already. I don't think so, honey. Okay. No offense, Jaboukie. I don't think so, honey. I don't think so, honey. I don't think so, honey.

Troye Sivan. I mean, he started this fucking epidemic of these young girls today going platinum fucking blonde. Okay, dying your hair platinum blonde is not a fucking personality. It does not make you interesting. Like, is this a new, like, going abroad for a 23-year-old gay man? I don't think so, honey. Like, these overdramatic, like, scoop necks. I'm done with the scoop necks. Let me see a floral button-down. I don't think so, honey. These overdramatic scoop necks. I'm done with the scoop necks.

Let me see a floral button-down. I don't think so, honey. I don't think so, honey. Troye Sivan, the metaphor bloom for bottoming. What is this? Mysticizing of bottoming. This artful metaphor. Bottoming isn't art.

It's fun, it's important, it's healthy, but it isn't art. And it's pretentious to bloom only for one person. Have you ever seen Troy Saban and Timothee Chalamet in the same room at the same time? I don't think so, honey. Oh, and that's one minute. That's one minute conspiracy theory. Conspiracies.

Wow, and no one ever talks about that. You never see them in the same room, and no one ever talks about it. No. Please welcome to the stage, Awkwafina Everybody Yes indeed It's going to be so bad

It's going to be amazing Do you want to do a troll bowl Maybe I'll do like half a troll bowl Alright so first 30 seconds will be your regular topic And then first 30 seconds I will shout out a troll So I have to like yell and speak really fast Whatever your pace is This is Awkwafina's I Don't Think So Honey.

Her time starts now. Okay, I Don't Think So Honey pigeons. They're so fucking disgusting. I was outside of Ralph's in Los Angeles and I saw one pigeon. It was fucking another pigeon. And that pigeon was fucking a dead pigeon. And the dead pigeon was squashed like a fucking pancake.

You guys are so disgusting. You want to vomit out of my fucking asshole. I fucking see pigeons in New York. They fucking walk around the fucking 69 and fucking dead squirrels and shit like that. So I fucking hate pigeons. I wish they all die. I don't give a fuck. I fucking kicked one in the fucking face. I don't think so, honey. Going live on Instagram. Oh, going live on Instagram. You know what you look like?

You fucking idiots going live on Instagram is what you look like. Yo, you guys so stupid going live on Instagram and anything you want to come up with stuff is all you're doing like oh what's up John 15 seconds cool you act like you're not reading the compliments you were reading every single comment coming down you're just like oh yeah yeah it's a new it's a new cut okay Okay, all right, yeah. And that's one minute. Awkwafina, everybody. Give it up.

Have some respect. Wow, another strong group here. But, all right, let's go. Jinx, some feedback for these young girls. I can't believe MK and Ashley did that to you. I'm so upset. Okay, there was a lot of good stuff. I circled literally everyone.

Yeah, she's like, yes, everyone. But I do have a favorite. Okay, so do I. Yeah, okay, so Andrew Dismukas. Wow! How do you say it? Dismukas? Okay, wonderful.

He moves on to the final round. Oh wait, I didn't get to say anything about it yet. Okay, first of all, escape rooms, yes, that is white nonsense. Trixie Mattel describes this like puzzles. Escape rooms, that's white people creating problems for themselves. Because they're so privileged. And you may be the token straight up here, but many wonderful love affairs have started with me dressed as a MILF

and some straight guy looking kind of uncomfortable and frightened. And then it led to nine months of sheer bliss. So this is my Instagram handle. You can direct message me. There you go, Andrew. And you win. Oh, shit. This is amazing.

Wow. Wait, Alaska, you were stirring a cauldron? Alaska, were you stirring a cauldron earlier? I was doing this. Oh, circling everything. Oh, circling everyone. Because you loved everyone so much. Feedback from you.

What are you thinking? Yes, because no matter what happens, you all are champions. You are all stars. You are all stars. You are all stars. And if you don't win this time you can always come back for all stars and possibly win that.

Yes! If you don't do it right the first time just come back and try again. Or if you lose first you can exit the stage saying your last name

over and over again. And be canonized. So is our history. Season 11, bitch. My choice... My choice... My choice... My choice for winner is Sidney Washington.

Yes! Yes! Give it up for everyone. Sidney Washington, Sam Taggart, Lorelei Ramirez, Andrew Dismuth, Jaboukie M. White, Pat Regan, and Awkwafina. Thank you. At this time, we are going to welcome our finalists on stage for a Troll Bowl only final round.

And at the end, you guys will have to agree together on a winner. On one winner. All right, everyone, please welcome Marie Faustin! Molly Austin! Rachel Pegram! Patty Harrison! Andrew

Dismukes! And Sydney Washington. And Sydney Washington! Welcome back, our all-stars. Wow! This crew, this is all-stars! Okay, let's just get right into it. We don't have much time left. Let's start with Marie Faustin. Marie Faustin to the mic. And this is a troll bowl only round.

Oh, sis! I didn't get that email. It was in the email, bitch. It was in the email. It was in the email. It's rule number 14 of culture. Read the fucking email. Read it. Read it. Did you send it to my Gmail or my Yahoo? Oh, bitch.

I don't think so, honey. Having two. Okay. All right. Okay. Oh, shit. I'm not ready. All right.

Marie Faustin. Okay. Currently, these people are performing outside. Your I don't think so, honey topic is salt and pepper. And your time starts now. I don't think so. Strong black women killing it in 2018.

We got a lot of nerve to be up here just making white people like us. I don't think so. Salt having found Jesus and not doing all her freaky ass raps. No, more. I don't think so.

Pep and Spinderella and all of other people that are just thriving with matching haircuts and jackets. 30 seconds. I don't think so, black girls. We're too magical for these white people, okay? They are not prepared, okay? Do you see this belt that I'm wearing? It's not even mine, but it's cute though.

15 seconds. I'm out here thriving like a queen should be. Okay? I don't think so. Salt and pepper and Spinderella because that's not a spice. Phil, five seconds left. Here we go. I don't think so.

White people who don't season their food because you need salt and pepper. That's one minute. I don't think so. White people who don't season their food because you need salt and pepper. That's what made it. I don't think so, honey. Laying down a competitive final round. She spun that. Everyone, give it up for Molly Austin in these finals. Molly. Molly, we've drawn a trouble topic for you,

and your trouble topic is another female MC, Nicki Minaj. And your time starts now. I don't... Fuck. I don't think so, Nicki Minaj, and I'll tell you why real fast.

I do not like a fake British accent. Because I do not like England. I will tell you why. I don't need to be reminded of a place that rains all the time of people who think they're funny for no reason. Okay, honey, I don't, I don't need it. I don't, I'll tell you what else I don't need. From you, Nicki Minaj. Is that I don't think... 15 seconds.

Oh, thank God. I don't think I would like to be friends with you. I don't think that would be fun. Five seconds. I think you would say not nice things to me about my shoes a lot. And that's one minute. Oh, my God. You are not wrong, Molly Austin.

She's probably very critical when it comes to wardrobe. That was hard. We're sorry we made you do that. Oh, my God. That was very hard. Oh, Molly. Okay, and now to the mic is Rachel Pegram. Rachel.

Okay. Oh, okay. Rachel, and now to the mic is Rachel Pegram. Rachel. Okay. Oh, okay. Okay, Rachel Pegram. Yes. Your I Don't Think So Honey Troll Bowl finale topic is Terry Gross. And your time. Do we know? Do we know?

No. All right, it's fine. It's fine. We're going to pick something else. Not everyone knows Terry Gross. I'm sorry. All right. Oh, okay.

Let's see. She is. She is. Okay. Okay, your T let's see. She is, she is. Okay. Okay, your Trouble Topic is Bobby from Queer Eye. Bobby Burke. Oh, Bobby's the one that does the designs. The designs, yes.

Bobby from Queer Eye. The most unimpeachable one. This is Rachel Pegram's I Don't Think So Honey, Her Time Starts Now. Yeah, I don't think so, honey, Bobby. What's up with you? Huh? You out here on the show doing all the work. Well, you should do less.

You see all of your castmates, they got to do a little bit, and they get a lot of credit. Anthony, avocado slice. Fucking Tan, he's like, yes, put this shirt on. Fucking Jonathan, he's like, yeah, it's work, OK. And then like, Kareem, he's like, wow, your life is going okay. And then, like, Karemo, he's like, wow, your life is going. And, you know, like, come on, Bobby, do less. Like, look at that house and be like, I don't know, slap a coat of paint.

Let's go home. All your other friends off for the week. We done finished shooting. He's out here doing work outside hours, not getting paid for it. Who knows what that rate looks like? Is he sad? Damn, it better be after at least oh my god bobby's doing too much work out here not enough credit man if i was bobby i'd have

signed with so many people i'd get more money five seconds man if i was bobby murk i'd be a damn ass millionaire yes yes And the winner of the minute. Yes. Yes. Coming to the mic for a troll bowl is Patty Harrison. Okay. All right, Patty, your troll bowl finale topic is when people say peace out. And this is Patty Harrison. I don't think so.

Your time starts now. I don't think so, honey. People will say peace out. Okay, the idea. I don't think so, honey. People would say, peace out. Okay, the idea of peace, does it exist? No. No, it can exist. Because you know why? Capitalism, my favorite thing of all time, exists.

Oh, capitalism. Everybody loves it. Oh, and I have to say, this is not an I don't think so, honey. I love war. I do think so, honey. I love war. Oh, the way people go out there and they're kicking stuff down and just dragging whole communities of people.

It's so... I mean, chef's kiss is a little hack, but I'll just keep doing it all day long. Anyways, my I don't think so, honey. Yeah, think peace out. What do you have else to offer? You know what some other things you can say? Is bye. You can say- 15 seconds.

Nice to see ya. You can say, I'm actually not that cultured, so I don't know other languages, and that's a choice I make. And that's a strong choice that I make. Five seconds. Anyways, yeah.

Don't say peace out. Say something kind of, say, I'm- Later. Deuces. She's crying again say bye bye bitch say bye bitch cheerfully she is so moved she's moved to tears by so many things it was emotional james it was emotional. We all were. Now, Andrew Dismukes, come on! Our only male. Oh my god. Okay, now here we go. The Troll Bowl topic is as follows.

We're going to pick it right now. Okay, your I Don't Think So Honey finale topic is Hilary Duff. And your time starts now. I Don't Think So Honey Hilary Duff, the fuck time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Hilary Duff, the fuck you doing on TV Land? You are

Lizzie McGuire. Why are you on Younger? Y'all seen that show? It's actually great. There is a marathon going down in the Holiday Inn right now. Oh. Yeah, I just watched it. Shit's getting bad for Lizzie.

No. I don't think so, honey. Hilary Duff, because I just don't think so overall. This whole Disney Channel actors are also musicians, but then they're back as actors when they're adults again.

I don't get it. I don't know any of her songs. No. This is just, I'm just, I'm happy to be part of the show and 15 seconds! 15 seconds, keep going, keep talking about that. To even like make it to the finals is like incredible. To be here with

Five seconds! To be here with what I call the future. And that's what made it. The future is on stage, everyone. Thank you, Andrew. Thank you, Andrew.

And now, finishing up the finale round is Sydney Washington. Sydney. A crowd favorite. A crowd favorite. Okay, Bowen, what do we have here? Sydney, your I Don't Think So Honey topic is Melissa Joan Hart. Another 90s darling. Your time starts now.

I Don't Think So Honey, Melissa Joan Hart. Because who are you? You can never be your mother. Why don't you do something else? Am I thinking of the same person? Who are you thinking of? Was she on E? No, Melissa Joan Hart, Sabrina the Teenage Witch.

Oh, you're thinking of Melissa Rivers. Listen, there's too many white people on TV. can't i don't think so honey you white women that got the same names i can't keep up it's too much i'm too tired i got too many jobs okay i got two kids at home just my titties anyway i can't melissa joan hart what is she doing what is she doing for us can she give me her netflix password because honestly what are you doing? What is she doing for us? She's a rep. She's a rep. She's a rep. She's a rep. She's a rep. She's a rep. She's a rep. Can she give me her Netflix password? Because honestly, what are you doing, Melissa? Get a new name. Do something.

I can't. Does she have a shoe line? 15 seconds. Does she have jeans? What can she do for me? Can she give me a swipe on the train? What is she doing? Can she give me her Uber pool code?

Like, what's going on? Five seconds. Five seconds. Melissa Joan Hart, who is she? I don't know who she is. I still, y'all told me who and I still like her. That's one minute. Melissa Joan Hart, she's really

super dragged here. Melissa Joan Hart and Terry Gross, we don't know who the fuck you are. Who are they? Alright, so, listen. This has been the final round. This is the time when we are giving out the winner. And this person will be named

the third Lost Culture Recess Icon Award winner. So, Jinx and Alaska, let's give some final thoughts and then some final word. And if you win, come to the front of the stage and have your fucking goddamn moment. Have your moment. I commend you, Molly, for having to talk bad about the queen Nicki Minaj

you just halfway through you just hated yourself so you get my honorable mention wait what is your Nicki Minaj bit oh god all her songs just rhyme words with themselves. It's just like, Cake Boss, I'm the Cake Boss. You want a Cake Boss?

Because I'm the Cake Boss. And then the last time she says it, she says it in a weird voice like, Cake Moss loves my Cake Boss. Cake Boss. My cake boss! Cake boss! You can't just rhyme a word with itself over and over. Cake boss! I guess you can if it's got a sick beat.

Oh my God. Wow. Wow. Okay, so you got my honorable mention. Do you have an honorable mention before we announce the winner? Yes. Okay, so you got my honorable mention. Do you have an honorable mention before we announce the winner? Um, yes. Sidney Washington. For not knowing who Melissa Joan Hart was.

And still making it work. Yeah. Why doesn't she have a shoe line? Iconic. I would buy them. I don't think so a shoe line? Iconic. I would buy them. I don't think so, honey, Melissa Joan Hart, because she has never been in a movie, a TV show, or any project that wasn't produced by her father.

Look at it. He's the executive producer on every single project she has ever worked on. Anyway. Wait, hold on. Wait. Before we announce the winner, do you guys want to grace us with an I don't think so yes

we've got a jinx monsoon I wore my comfy shoes and my pants for this yeah and this is her I don't think so I don't think so time starts now I don't think so honey giving drag queens an inch and we deserve a mile okay okay? You have carved out this tiny little market that we get to inhabit in mainstream media and you have deemed us a novelty act and you gave us a TV show but you still put us in the background and treat us like we

are F-list celebrities when we have two times the Instagram followers as half of these celebrities these days. And yes, I know that there have been many queer people making it big in mainstream media these days, but Neil Patrick Harris and Jim Parsons, even though they are extremely talented,

are still white cisgendered men. So, if the only way you can be queer and make it big is if you are non-threatening, then fuck that. I'm happy being an F-list celebrity because at least my community knows how hard I work for them. Yes! She's done. She did it.

That's one minute. Alaska, could you? Could you? Would you like to? Alaska Thunderfuck, yes. She's going to pick from this bowl. She's going to do it herself. Everyone, Alaska Thunderfuck is about to give us an I Don't Think So Honey.

It's unreal. Alaska. We're gonna pick it out ourselves. Alright, I can do it. Ready, go. Alaska Thunderfuck's I Don't Think So Honey time starts now. Glenn Close.

I Don't Think So Glenn Close. More like Glenn Close. I don't think so, Glenn Close. More like Glenn Farr. I folded him up real good. I'm sorry, bitch. Candice Bergen. No, I do think so. Robert Muller. I think it should be pronounced Mueller that show full house

you know how they did the reboot Fuller house do you know why it's called Fuller house because their last name is Fuller in it. That's true. I'm not even making it up. That's why they call it Fuller House. 15 seconds! Duchess of Sussex Meghan Markle. I think she was on the Let's Make a Deal Millionaire Box show, which I think is really cool. One more! One more! One more! Cinderella the girl, not the movie.

She left her shoe at the club, girl. She's that girl and she's like getting the prince. Like she's getting rewarded for like getting wasted and like. And that's one minute. And that's one minute. Alaska Thunderfuck. Alaska Thunderfuck! Rapid fire troubles. Iconics.

Never been done before. All right. Oh my God. That was unbelievable. Breaking all the rules, but making them really. All right. So ladies,

it is now time to announce the winner. Everyone please rise and hold hands like your best fucking friends. We are nothing if not... Oh, and us too. Okay. Everyone, please rise and hold hands like you're best fucking friends. We are nothing if not Oh, and us too. Okay. Everyone, okay, who have we decided is the last Culture Recess Icon Award winner

here at Clusterfest? And thank you, Clusterfest, for having us. The winner... Six finalists stand before us. Prior to this evening, you received an email explaining that the finalist round would be chosen from a bowl of blue pieces of paper. The time has come

for a winner to be announced. The winner tonight of $100,000. Wow. Our winner tonight is Rachel P. Graham! of $100,000. Wow. True. Our winner tonight is Rachel P. Yes! Take your moment.

Take your moment. Give it up for Rachel P. Give it up for everybody. All right. Give it up for your finalists. Thank you so much. Everyone give it up for Jinx Monsoon and Alaska Thunderfuck. Thank you so much. Everyone give it up for Jinx Monsoon and Alaska Thunderfuck. Thank you so much.

My name is Matt Rogers. My name is Bowen Yang. Have a great day. Thank you, Clusterface. Same for Spice World after this. Spice World coming up. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Forever Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram, at Forever Dog Team, and liking our page on Facebook.

Hey, fam. I'm Simone Boyce. I'm Danielle Robay. And we're the hosts of The Bright Side, the podcast from Hello Sunshine that's guaranteed to light up your day. Check out our recent episode with actor and Emmy-winning producer Laverne Cox. I think you hit a certain age where it's just like it is so much energy trying to fake it and be somebody else that it's just so much easier to just be yourself. Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Oh, hey, it's Teresa back from the dead again. Just wanted to pop in and let you know that Haunting is back on October 22nd. Spooky season? I own spooky season. We're serving up some killer stories, literally, and a few that might make you question whether you really locked the door

before getting into bed. So cancel your lame Halloween plans. Haunted houses? Overdone. Candy corn? Honestly, who eats that? Your new tradition? Listening to me. Listen to Haunting starting on October 22nd on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jacqueline Thomas, the host of a brand new Black Effect original series,

Black Lit, the podcast for diving deep into the rich world of Black literature. Black Lit is for the page turners, for those who listen to audiobooks while running errands or at the end of a busy day. From thought-provoking novels to powerful poetry, we'll explore the stories that shape our culture.

Listen to Black Lit on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Curious about queer sexuality, cruising, and expanding your horizons? Hit play on the sex-positive and deeply entertaining podcast, Sniffy's Cruising Confessions. We'll see you next time.