Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - "Gizmos n' Gadgets" (w/ Jacqueline Novak)

Episode Date: July 18, 2018

This week's episode branches into an astonishing amount of cultural topics, much like the linktree of today's special guest, the amazing Jacqueline Novak!If you want an episode that segues from chicken bones into The Lovely Bones, then look no further. This is the one! But not only that, also: The art of personal branding, the proper way to eat a Buffalo Wing, the end of the line (sexually), horrific turbulence, Grease 2, Matt's skydiving story, proper theater etiquette, and yes...more!—LAS CULTURISTAS HAS A PATREON! For $5/month, you get exclusive access to WEEKLY Patreon-ONLY Las Culturistas content!!https://www.patreon.com/lasculturistasSUBSCRIBE ON APPLE PODCASTS TODAY!CONNECT W/ LAS CULTURISTAS ON FACEBOOK & TWITTER for the best in "I Don't Think So, Honey" action, updates on live shows, conversations with the Las Culturistas community, and behind-the scenes photos/videos:www.facebook.com/lasculturistastwitter.com/lasculturistasLAS CULTURISTAS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASTforeverdogpodcasts.com/las-culturistas  Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Real Housewives of New York City are back for another bite of the Big Apple. Look who it is. Joined by elite new friends. Rebecca Minkoff. Have you ever heard of her? But things could change in a New York Minute. She had this wild night and ended up getting pregnant by some other guy. What?

You told her? Not today, Satan. Not today. The Real Housewives of New York City. All new Tuesdays at 9 on Bravo. Or stream it on City TV+. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski.

And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind-the-scenes stories, crazy details, and honestly, just having a blast talking football. Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all times, from legends to our buddies to current stars. We're finally answering the age-old question, what kind of dudes

are these dudes? We're gonna find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Sheryl Swoops. And I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby.

And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women. And T and I have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tariqa Foster-Brasby, an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. I was a desperate delusional dreamer. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer.

Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. Forever. Dog. Look, man. Oh, I see. Wow.

Bowen, look over there. Wow, is that culture? Yes. Oh, my goodness. Wow. Bowen, look over there. Wow. Is that culture? Yes. Oh, my goodness. Wow. Las Culturistas. Ding dong. Las Culturistas calling.

And they're back. And they're back. This is our first sesh back in New York. They've returned. Our LA trip. Bowen thoughts. Definitive thoughts on Los Angeles now that we've been there for nine months. Look, it's not

the pace for me just yet. Here's what I was saying. Don't let it hear you. You can't, yeah. Hopefully no one who lives in LA will hear this. You max out at four things you can do in a given day. Yeah. And then you're fucking zonked.

No. I will say this. We were just talking to HPJ about this before you came in. I've never in my life experienced people just being like, yeah, it's cool you're 25 minutes late. Totally cool. Wild. Totally great. It's normal to be 25 minutes late.

If I'm three minutes late in New York, I'm having a panic attack, full-fledged cannot breathe on the subway. Sure. Also, I don't exactly know how parking validation as a concept works. Oh, no. As a concept. What do you do? What's the transaction?

How does that happen? And also, it takes time. It takes time. Also, it's officially the war of the hot producers coast to coast. It's true. We had such an amazing experience with our stunning producer, Brett, over in Los Angeles. So, hot producer Joe got a little jealous that we were giving so much attention to hot producer Brett in LA. It's true, we received a text that contained jealousy.

So, you know, guys, y'all, just boys, girls, enbies, weigh in. Like, whose side are you on? Well, and now you've heard both of their voices, both their luscious voices. And, you know, Joe received so many compliments on his luscious timbre. From Tara Abel from New York Magazine. Yes, she's credited with that observation. But, you know,

Brett, that's a good voice. Brett's got a good voice. You guys heard Brett on the mic? He was wonderful. They're both taken men, so don't get too excited, okay? They're both spoken for. We have such a good guest today.

Such a good guest. She, okay, I'm just gonna go, I'm gonna list the credits because I've been a fan since day motherfucking one day motherfucking one from birth from birth and I actually literally I took today to re-familiarize myself with all the works

and it was like taking a beautiful I don't want to say the name a JN bath a beautiful JN bath for which I was happy. Come on. For the bubbles. For the bubbles.

Here we go. Her fantastic album, Quality Notions. It's a classic. Yes. Truly a classic. And I don't mean to say that as like a way of aging it.

It's just truly like people will study it. You know what I'm saying? And I also want to talk to her about it because she has similar pet peeves to me regarding appetizer consumption. Just food in general. So that's all I want to talk to her about it because she has similar pet peeves to me regarding appetizer consumption. Just food in general.

So that's all I want to say for now. Pizza, just the works. Okay. And then of course, she has her book, How to Weep in Public. So,

so wonderful. Very good. And she is going to headline, punchline in Philly, July 5th through 7th. And then we're going to talk. She wants to talk about the other dates.

We're going to talk dates, she said. So we're going to talk about dates in New York. She's going to be in Edinburgh. New York dates, Edinburgh dates, Philly dates, honey. The whole deal. The whole bit. She's on a world tour.

As Britney Spears once said. As Britney Spears once said. And please welcome to the show, Jacqueline Novak. Oh my God. That was the most tension building thrill. It's a positive tension building. Oh, absolutely. I mean, like most. It's a positive tension build. Oh, absolutely. I mean, like most.

It's a huge stress. Oh my gosh. Wow. And I was giggling a little. Like I felt myself like, like I couldn't resist making like a little bit of sound. Oh, and I love that. I love when the podcast guest makes a little cameo

with a giggle in the intro. Do you think it's like a coy insistence on attention or I don't know. Like I feel like it's a toe in the water i thought it was a flirty flirtatious little hint at a hello i think it's like um i think it's just like a necessary assertion because otherwise i mean it would be more weird if you were just stone cold silent the whole time yeah if i looked really that's what it is if i looked really like out of it yeah i was like, hello? Oh, no. We've had both.

Is she there? We've had people who just jumped in from the beginning and were like, this is a chaotic energy. We've had people who sat there stoically and actually would make eye contact with us because they feel like they can't even give the air of being in the room. Oh, you mean until they're introduced?

Until they're introduced. That's fascinating. Yeah. Isn't it? But you existed in the plane of reality. Thank you. I mean, I tried to keep it real for us all, you know, while, of course, I mean, artifice can only save us at the same time.

I mean, it's a balance. It's a balance. It's all a balance. We love artifice. We fly back and forth. We fly back and forth. There is a function to artifice, but why let that encroach? It's actually rule of culture number 96.

We love artifice, but we fly back and forth. Absolutely. Jacqueline, let's talk dates. Yeah, let's talk dates. Tell us about the dates. Normally I'm like, whatever,

just like go to my Twitter or something, which is my full name. Or I'm like, which you could figure out somehow, Jacqueline. They can figure it out. Google it, bitch.

Dig around. And then I'm like, but now I'm like, or you go to my Instagram because I recently created a link tree. Now explain this. Okay, so my Instagram is J-A-C-N-O-V. I say that first. Right.

Link tree is like, so, you know, it's a ridiculous claim I made earlier today. What? It's not true, but I'm going to say it anyway because I like to throw these things around. I mean, throw this around to my boyfriend. I go, I'm actually one of the first people to riff on Lincoln bio. Oh, wow. Now, what were your early riffs on Lincoln bio?

I'm not even sure and I definitely wasn't one. Like, I mean, I had to. Like, honestly, I don't think I started doing it. But honestly, I don't remember seeing a lot of other people doing it.

Are these phonetic riffs? What were mine? Like, all sorts. Like, let me think. Lincoln's bi. Like, Abe Lincoln's bi. He does that. That's great.

Listen, Bowen Yang at Faye Dunaway is a big big uh connoisseur of the uh lincoln bio riff but i've hit a wall so okay talk about your journey you hit a wall right and you're like this this is like me with sneakers where it's like okay like it keeps evolving right and you keep pushing it pushing and pushing it and then you get to a point where like it's become meaningless and you're like is the only truth to simply say lincoln bio yeah right right like have you keep pushing it, pushing it, pushing it. And then you get to a point where like, it's become meaningless. And you're like, is the only truth to simply say link in bio. Yeah, right, right, right. Like, have you, have we gone too far and you need to come back around? But will, but then the terror is, will they know?

Right. That I have gone that journey and that my plain link in bio is like, it's like when you're wearing the, okay, for example, they're like, and I don't mean, I know there's some like Saucony, like, I don't know. Saucony. These basic ones that I had like back in high school that were like throwbacks then, I know there's some like Saucony. Like, I don't know. Saucony. Yes. Saucony. These basic ones that I had like back in high school that were like throwbacks then, you know, they were like, and it was like, it's basically blue ones that whatever. And now they're like, they've like re-up on that.

Saucony's are like back in. And they've like brought them. They've like, those have like, what was my vintage pair then? Then they reintroduced, right? Yes, re-merged. So then I'm like, what do I go buy them again now? Like, and no one so sneakers progressively moved

in my high school sort of like preppy sneaker kind of like thing being into like New Balance and being like yeah I get the men's greys the 228s I was like into the comfy running shoe big time and then like as they became more

mainstream first of all yes there was a comfy running shoe. Big time. Wow. And then like, as they became more mainstream and like, yes, yeah, oh, first of all, like, yes,

there was a, there was a, a boom, like a saturation. Yeah. There was a saturation that was like, the cherry on top

was like the moment where it was like, do they support Trump or something? yeah, yeah, right, right,

right. It was like a dark cherry moment. To be everywhere means there's gotta be something dark going on. yeah, yeah,

exactly, exactly. To have reached that like so but then it was like okay do I move so like by college I felt like

well other people were like just getting around to like the vintage simple sneaker yes I was like so tired of it that I was moving into like modern sneakers

and like kind of like like you know like just like what they became like crazy shapes yes but I'm like but no no no

like these people don't get like, I was there already. Yeah. It's syncopated. It's like, it's the curse of being ahead of your time. It's hell. It's hell.

It's hell. And so now basically, if you were to, if you were to go and do Linky Bye Bye or like Link in my Bible or something stupid, people would be like,

oh, she's doing that thing, Bowen Yang. No, no. But meanwhile, this has nothing to do with me meanwhile jack will know that was the original icon and you have been a

fan of her since day one that's true no no and the truth is like i literally i think i was maybe like i'm only actually the first person in my apartment to do it and that's why and my boyfriend still hasn't done it so like chris laker he's a comedian as well you know it's always nice to you know you know give credit but You gotta give credit. But you also want to, like, like, you also want the privilege of, like, as an artist, like, that you get to talk about your, like, lover as, like, just, like, a character in your life. Yes, absolutely.

So, like, also to not. So no one should really know who they are. Yeah, so it's kind of, like, it goes two ways. Yeah. But, anyway, I really enjoy making those claims. Like, you know, like, I like I knew like if anyone was around, it would be immediately. Well, you know,

do you feel imprisoned by Gabe Liebman's send being like the greatest thing that's ever happened? Yes, but then he hasn't been able, he's never come out of that.

Do you know what I'm saying? And that's fine. He holds strong. He holds strong. He's kept that consistent for what, five years now? At least. Wait, what is this?

I don't know. He ends every tweet with send and he's been doing this since the word send. In all caps. Oh my God, yeah. It's wonderful. He can never stop.

I think it's like, you know. It's like a Kristen Schaal is a horse thing where it's like, okay, this thing is, do you know what I'm talking about? It's like. Wait.

Kristen Schaal is a horse. Kurt Braunohler and Kristen Schaal did this bit back in 2007 where it's just screaming Kristen Schaal is a horse and then like she's pacing back and forth. They did a radio lab on this. This is how fucked up it is. There's a cycle of oh this is funny.

This is getting old. I hate it. Oh this is funny again. Oh I hate it. Oh but this is funny again. Like the beats of. Amazing. Is that what we're touching on? With Gabe even? I actually feel like I feel like I believe he reached something. I feel like i feel like i i believe he reached something i feel he actually got something so good that it like cannot and will not die

the prison i was referring to is our prison which is like knowing that like i don't it'd be like you know you see like this is like a cheeseball example i feel like i'm like not one i'm even not like familiar with but like they were like anna wintour is like bangs or whatever okay like a strong choice you like hold on to three years and you're like if with like they were like Anna Wintour's like bangs or whatever okay like a strong choice you like hold on to through the years and you're like if I like

like do you ever want to make an arbitrary choice so you have something so you have something that is like like when you see people who are

branded so specifically and you're like god damn that person like Matteo Lane's like mustache and the backwards hat and the big arms and the tank top

that's like Matteo Lane if anyone ever was gonna do that you'd be like bitch I see you dressing up Lane's like mustache and the backwards hat and the big arms and the tank top. That's like Matteo Lane. If anyone ever was going to do that, you'd be like, bitch, I see you dressing up in Matteo Lane drag and get out of here. But is there some sort of cycle with Anna Wintour's bangs, for example, where it's like, oh, they're chic. Oh, they're lame. Oh, they're chic again. Is that?

Well, I think I think I think she's safe because it's like it's the sticking through when it's not cool that makes it an iconic choice, right? Sure. And so I believe Gabe is safe. And I'm also obsessed with how brilliant it is. Some things are pure excellence. Yes, they are. Someone asked, why do you always do it? And even though we've never discussed it with Gabe launched into like like a five sentence like explanation of

why I thought it was genius and it's like oh you explained it yes like and like I just like I don't know like sometimes people get it right yeah no you're gonna die of a ridiculous example of this issue in college I apparently I had forgotten about this I told my friend like like who wanted to

attract the interest of like this crush she had like some older like guy in the school or whatever I was like I think it's really important to get like a strong and bright accessory okay and I was like

you know like a red purse okay like just like walking around campus no matter what else you wear it's a red purse he's like oh there's a red purse girl

yeah there is a red purse remember that sounds like maybe like did I pull that from Clueless I'm not sure do you know what song literally just came to my head

which would also work raspberry beret like if you were the girl with the raspberry beret you'd be unforgettable maybe there'd even be a prince song about you girl absolutely

listen well then is it like what do you have so what do we do well this is the thing I have had to go I have had to go through different yes iteration like visual iterations where i feel like different now i feel like an

ass now it's like oh different glasses like i should have just committed to one frame one hairstyle for a decade the prison of branding no no it is a prison i have i have a bird's eye view on this because i do see you each day of my life. And I feel that these glasses are it, but with your frosted hair. I gotta go back to frosted. I love the frosted hair. Right, you're seeing the elements that you're like,

it was this one and this one. Yes, put them together. And I put them together because it's a little bit of modern new and a little bit of classic, which I think is very you. And the reason I came to this is because we were just taking a lot of lifts in la and bowen's lift picture is this like very severe photo of him like with the with the frosted hair and with the silver

hair and i was like oh that was it but those glasses are incredible thank you but with these glasses thank you jacqueline um well okay now let's okay. Well, okay, now let's, okay, so now, how does this, so let's talk dates. Oh, yeah. So the whole point is simply, the one tree is there. But the thing is,

I've put together all these shows so I can try to work out this show before I go to Edinburgh. So it's like, I've got two that John Early's gonna,

so John Early's gonna like, we're gonna banter up front because we haven't gotten to do that. I'm sorry, I'm not familiar with John. He's a celebrated young man.

He's blonde. Oh, yeah. I know the blonde one. Yeah, it's the blonde one. And we're going to banter up front because we haven't gotten to do this since the field cake shop days. And then he's going to leave the stage where I'm going to then do my hour, basically.

And then he's going to come back on and compliment me at the end. Oh, that's wonderful. Or say what he wants. I mean, we'll see. Yeah, really. But what a beautiful symmetry. That's going to be at Union Hall that the tickets just went on sale.

Celebrate his face. For July 21st, I think. They're all in the Linktree, Jack. Know of J-A-C-N-O-V. And then I'm doing some UCB late night, UCB East late nights. Oh, fun. Just head to the Instagram

for all the dates okay but we're going to Philly we're going to girl we're going everywhere we're going everywhere the link tree has the dates can I can I

connect with you about my appetizer thing with please so you discuss yeah I'm a big wings fan as well oh yes this is

and huge for me you have an amazing joke about like being born early because you think you smell wings oh yeah totally forgot about that one. No, it's one of my favorites.

I love it. I'm not. But, and I feel, I was also born early and it may have been for the same reason. But when people... Let's talk. Eat, you know. Yeah, no, get in there.

When people eat wings, and they don't, quote, use all the buffalo, a.k.a. they don't suck that thing bone dry. Yes, exactly. Until it could be, quote, a gypsy's earring. Oh, my God, thank you the buffalo, a.k.a. they don't suck that thing bone dry until it could be, quote, a gypsy's earring. Oh my god, thank you. Do I say gypsy in the stand-up? I believe it's a gypsy's earring.

I've since changed it. Back in 2016 or whatever, we're moving quite fast now. It was 2014, I believe. Yeah, I think it was. I think it was even further away. Wait, maybe you didn't say gypsy even further away. I'm giving you more time. Yeah, right.

Wait, maybe you didn't say Gypsy's earring and I'm making that up. No, no, no. It was Gypsy's earring. And like, I didn't recognize Gypsy as like a thing that's like offensive or whatever. I don't think anyone did until recently. It was like an archetypal whatever.

You're learning, you're learning. It's okay, we're okay. And so I've changed it to pirate wench. I love that. Yes, yes. I love that. Now watch in two years when you can't say wench. But you know

that they went down to the pirates. Did you hear about this? They went down to the pirates of the Caribbean and they changed the whole scene where they're doing the auctioning of the women. No. And they made it so that the women are in power. They changed the whole ride. Because the women are auctioning the men. The women are

in charge of the auction in some way and it's not like it's not like a prostitution but then when we enslave men like and have like the great like genocide of the males

yes absolutely which is very much coming oh my god wait but yes okay when people when people don't

eat the wing so yeah I have a real problem with this because first of all I leave them dry they're clip art. They're jewelry for whatever group. I feel like a disparage.

For Roma people. It's like, God, comedy is such an indignity. I mean, like, you know, like just because like it is a constant issue because I do feel and this is like coming up constantly now i do feel like stand up you're kind of like getting up like to be like she's well about it right you are kind of like getting up in the bar and speaking to the people right yeah so like if you're too um like you kind of i sometimes feel like you got to move the people along like there's a joke in quality notions that like i've kind of been revisit or everything on quality notions currently being revamped which is why I may like or expand on which

is why I may pull it. Yeah. Might be the Quality Notions demos. Like get it out. And then like, you know what I mean? Listen to the OG tracks now. You're going to pull a fucking Brian Wilson or something. Because it's kind of like it's like this.

It's like a medley of me just going up and going through my notebook going. And I'm like, a lot of these are like and you did this at Ant Fest a few years ago is that what it was it was just at Ars Nova great great great

and but anyway it's like there's all these things it's just it's just tough to stand up because you're like yeah you're like trying to communicate

so in that on that album I have this thing where I'm like I've been doing it like I was doing a version of it this weekend in context

which is like you know oh what a bummer like that my boyfriend is I mean I don't say oh what a bummer but just like I mean I guess like

the idea is oh what a bummer I open on oh what a bummer I'm like you know I have my things about the shame

of being a heterosexual woman in the same age and then I'm like and my boyfriend like he's a heterosexual male and like I don't think he's woman in the same age. And then I'm like, and my boyfriend, like he's a heterosexual male. And like, I don't think he's like ever had sex with a dude. And I'm like humiliated for him.

And it's that kind of thing. Right. And then I'm like, and like some of the audiences in front of like, are like, Oh, like, you know,

like shocked and like whatever. And so then I, I'm like nudging them along by being like, no, well, like, don't you see like, it's obviously like really manly for a man to like be able to like take down another man, like a lion, you know, like a lion taking a lion, not coming for me, a flower. Like, it's obviously really manly for a man to be able to take down another man, like a lion, you know?

A lion taking a lion, not coming for me a flower. It's basically like, it's fruity to like women. You like girls, whatever. So I'm utilizing, obviously, sort of like, I'm kind of like,

I'm going like, no, you're a fruit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm utilizing like, The language. The language. Which is now questionable, but I will say this,

I listened to it, and I didn't think a second thing about it. I thought that joke was like extremely smart and like the language I got. Right. Right. But also I can understand other people being like, but you're still because this word is here and because this language is here. I don't think so. Yeah, honey.

But yeah, I get it. Because I'm like, I feel like it nudges them. I feel like it not just them I feel like it nudges the confused because then what happens is like the people they're like huh why would you

like your boyfriend you know I don't get it and then like I say that and they like laugh despite themselves and like go home like ever so slightly changed

and so I'm like it's not my most evolved version of what I was going to say about like like you know whatever that phenomenon

yeah or that idea amongst you know but it's like kind of like but i'm also like maybe like who am i serving if i'm only taught if i'm not nudging along i know this sounds very self whatever no no no because it is something i think about a lot yeah like oftentimes even with this podcast it's just like like because we're all doing like quote unquote like cultural takedowns and i'm like okay who are we being too hard on who are we like

talking about maybe not the right way because especially like with gay men like there is this like proclivity I think because the way we've been socialized

to kind of like talk about women like we own them and also like and it's a relationship that's like both loved and absolutely and I think vice versa too

with women towards gay men and like really every kind of group towards each other like the way that you talk about each other like yeah in general as in general terms it's like obviously like if you went really down the road with it it's all problematic but how much do we care and at which point do we start caring yeah sure i think jacqueline i think you escape all of this because god remember because you are the best no no no because you always i mean you're part of your trademark is that you always have this layer of awareness on top of what you're

saying because remember this matt i think matt and i saw you at 51st jokes a few years ago where i think you like you you went you went off on your thing about on a joke about pizza probably yeah probably but then but then you broke out of it at a certain point you were like okay and like and i think something happened do you remember this something yeah something happened and then you broke out of that and you were like all right whatever like i'm like i'm riffing on pizza but like i'm not gonna come up here and do a fucking like mark norman thing you know like i think oh my god that's so funny it was amazing like it got such a good response i mean you weren't shitting on mark norman and he was there he was there yeah i was like i was like right because i'm feeling the

i'm feeling the anxiety of like frustration at like mark presenting like this polished like right i'm just like you know i'm constantly suffering at my own way and i have to be like talked like i literally like everything you know i just see like the opposite of what i do and i'm like that's what i should should have done yeah of course that's not right you know you got to be like talked like i literally like everything you know i just see like the opposite of what i do and i'm like that's what i should should have done yeah of course that's not right you know you gotta be you and you gotta like find your way and whatever but at the moment you think yes this is what yeah yeah yeah i'm like sorry like because i'm like you know like there's always one person that becomes the face of your anxiety of like the evening yes oh 100 it's like it could be someone else on the show that like you feel, you know. Yeah, oftentimes.

That it's often them more than not, right? Oh, absolutely. And they'll never know. And they've never seen me do good. Yeah. Do you have those people that you just memorize as having never seen you do well? Yes.

I have in my head file cabinets of every time everyone has seen me perform. And whenever anyone is like, oh, hey, and they come up to me, I'm like, no, they never saw me. They don't even know I'm good this is not a real interaction oh my god it's so funny I have it I'm very bad with it but I have that with people who I care

it's not even people that you've bombed in front of like I have this anxiety and it's so funny because I'm opening for him this weekend but with John yeah like I have this inferiority complex with John early that has like followed me for years

and years and like he's he's always been so supportive and so great and he's seen me do well at shows and like I don't feel like

I have to prove anything but it's also like oh but it's John like he's I think a lot of gay men have that with gay comics have that with him because he really

he really is the first one to really embrace all this special specific shit about him and like really he was doing gay comedy he really got away with it in a way that it's like oh my god he's doing it yeah because of the way we're socialized doing it means like maybe he's the only one that can

and that does get you a little bit in your head but obviously that's not true in the last couple years it's like really broke open for everybody. Totally. Like truly just him succeeding has just made it so much better for everybody. Absolutely. It's true. All tides rise or boats in the tide. All tides rise in the boat. Rule number 78 of culture.

All tides rise in the boat. But anyway, to go back to the 50 First Jokes thing, like you always have that awareness. I think you are, you escape that sort of whatever. Questionable language. I mean.

Right, right. Right. LOL who cares? Well, that's the thing. There's a wink. There's a wink. There's always a wink. To the, not the cheap seats.

Right, right, right, right. Maybe it's the cheap seats. I don't know. It's always the cheap seats. But there is a thing. It's like, you know, you're doing comedy and you should be able to get up there

and be messy because you're the comedian. Like you're the jester in the room, the jester in the court. You're supposed to be the one who's a mess in front of the king.

But now it's just like the king being like, write down everything that jester said and let's use it against them potentially. It's hard. There you go.

It is a weird position to be in. Yeah. No, and yeah, and like, yeah, getting his like purpose,

like I know, I'm like, I can't help it. I'm like sitting here and like launched in. It's like so typical. Like my anxieties of the day. Like why couldn't I keep it locked down? You know what I mean?

I mean, I asked about chicken wings. Oh wait, I do want to talk about that actually a little more. So wait, my experience with the wings. Oh right, but there was like a new appetizer thing that no one ever likes that I like felt like maybe I should share now. Cause like, this is my only chance. Oh.

Which one? It's just, chance oh which one it's just I don't think it's on like anywhere because like no one ever likes this but like I think it's so funny which or it's just like a thing which is

one of my other appetizer issues it could be on there I don't even remember but but it's like I hate when oh my god

there's two well a couple things okay but I hate when um so like there's two well a couple things okay but I hate when um so like me and my friend are like sharing don't worry

I'm not doing my my other nachos bit you're like yeah no no no yeah bitch yeah bitch you literally did it

are you doing the nachos bit she's gonna do the nachos bit you did it on television like whatever like you're one you know whatever like oh my god

and that's also like a version on quality notions right i'm a version artist sorry different nachos at you which is let's say i'm eating nachos me and my friend sharing it as the appetizer okay yeah yeah there's like it's like down to mostly the end and it's kind of soggy and it's just like the remains okay but like i'm still working on it right and they come and they're ready they come by with our burgers and they think that automatically, surely because the entree is here, I've forgotten all about,

I no longer am interested in these because of course I recognize there's a full burger and fries or whatever. And it's like, excuse me, no. Put them down, but don't take that away. And just because it looks soggy to you, it's like they were there for me when you weren't and when the entree wasn't

and I saw them age like my elderly wife their family you know what I mean that's I see her beauty like I saw them fresh and I saw them like

they took me here as I ate them yeah oh my god I went out to dinner with Sydney Washington yesterday and there was like three edamames left

on our little plate and they came to take those three little edamames away and I was like I don't think so no those are for us like they're the same family of the other ones like i ate them i will eat them all they'll all end up in the same place exactly wow that's where they belong well you know what's hysterical this will this will free you about about if you ever have

hesitation about taking the last whatever like the last yeah yeah you know i never do cookies or something okay so you're already free but it's like it's like the last cookie is no different than the first quick like no right hey you took seven before like i mean do you know what i'm saying absolutely no i think you and also like it's about who wants it the most at that point i really don't believe in like well i've had the most i've had the second most i've had the least it's like i always ask i'm like who wants that last but there are but there are desire yeah. But the difference is there's an existential difference in that last cookie. No, you're right. There are stakes attached.

I'm refusing context. Like, it's kind of like there's a purism that's false to what I'm saying. But it sometimes needs to be acknowledged because I'm like, yeah, but you had no qualms three cookies ago. It is a political situation. It is. Maybe I stand by it. Maybe I shouldn't come in around. The Real Housewives of New York City are back for another bite of the Big Apple.

Look who it is. Joined by elite new friends. Rebecca Minkoff. Have you ever heard of her? But things could change in a New York Minute. She had this wild night and ended up getting pregnant by some other guy. What? You've told her?

Not today, Satan. Not today. The Real Housewives of New York City, all new Tuesdays at 9 on Bravo or stream it on City TV+. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. Guess what, folks? We're teammates again.

And we're going to welcome you guys all to Dudes on Dudes. I'm a dude. You're a dude. And Dudes on Dudes is our brand new show. We're going to highlight players, peers, guys that we played against, legends from the past. And we're just going to sit here and talk about them. And we'll get into the types of dudes. What kind of types of dudes are there, Grunks?

We got studs, wizards. We got freaks. Or dudes, dude. We got dogs. Dogs. We'll break down their games. We'll share some insider stories and determine what kind of dude each of these dudes are.

Is Randy Moss a stud or a freak? Is Tom Brady a dog or a dudes dude? We're gonna find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your

podcasts. Hey, everybody. It's Matt Rogers. Back when I was a server, I was one bad day away from a huge personal crisis. Thankfully, Giving Kitchen is here to serve those that serve us. Giving Kitchen is a non-profit helping any food service worker

who gets hurt, gets sick, loses a family member or their housing. That's giving relief. So when you or someone you know is in crisis, tell them to ask for help from Giving Kitchen by visiting givingkitchen.org slash help. That's givingkitchen.org slash H-E-L-P. Together, we are Giving Kitchen.

We help food service workers. Once again, we find ourselves in an unprecedented election. And with all that's happening in the lead up to the big day, a weekly podcast just won't cut it. Get a better grasp of where we stand as a nation every weekday on the NPR Politics Podcast. Here are seasoned reporters dig into the issues that are shaping voters' decisions and understand how the latest updates play into the bigger picture. Listen to the NPR Politics Podcast on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. I think you always just got to ask. You always have to ask. If they say, no, we don't mind, that is on them.

And they should go to their therapist about it oh absolutely that's on that there is okay can we just quickly revisit the wings thing

because I am I am on the other side of this to say oh no I just discard the bones even if there's

shit left over by shit you mean the thing you ordered that's delicious well here's the thing like you I'm putting I'm putting this

in my mouth and there's some weirdness there's putting this in my mouth and there's... Some weirdness? There's something inedible there. The marrow? The bone. Well, you don't eat the bone, but you suck off the marrow.

You leave the bone behind. I know, but... The fact that I'm... Like it's a tiny piece of jewelry. It's like... It's like I'm not... Okay, let's say... Revisit the bit.

It's all in the text. All in the text. No, but this is actually key. What is key? Okay. What you're saying, because you're saying like the gristle or the like, or whatever. No, no, it's just, it is bone marrow, y'all. It's even grosser than you think.

I'm not saying that. I'm saying the bone, the literal bone gets in my way when it's in my mouth. Oh, right. So you can't get to all three of them. And so my body just rejects it. I'm like, no, I don't want this anymore. And I can understand that because there is then more meat in front of you that is more easy to eat. And that is one of my critiques of the heterosexual male.

Okay. Okay. This is what, there's two issues in here and this is what I get into with the wing. Okay. It's one, I don't want to see you, not you guys, my potential lover. Yes. Potential lover. Okay. I don't want to see him, not to like go into a bit, but you know, you guys okay my potential lover yes okay i don't want to see him not to like go into a bit but you know you forced it um yeah we forced it like i want someone who gets

into the corners with a flavor strap yes honey i don't want someone who feels a little cartilage and runs the other way get into the corners. Anyway, that's my bit language. I love it. But there's that piece. And then there's one other thing you said I was dying to respond to. It gets in my way. It's inedible. The gristle, the marrow.

Oh, wait. It's the mouth feel is off. Like there's more meat in front of me that I can. Oh, the other meat being in front of you that you can move on to oh yes that's the other piece so the heterosexual male this is another issue but this is something I've thought about for a long time which is these guys that claim they can't like they can't do monogamy

okay cause they love can I say pussy yeah you can say pussy say it loud say it proud guaranteed we've said it I was doing a like a podcast or something and like where they're like can you like try to and like something and like and they were like can you like try to keep it friendly and like

for some reason like it was like never I never cursed more in my life it was like it was like psychotic you never ask that question because then it's in their head and then you will say fuck to them

exactly yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah would you like you know would you like some nose with your soup fuck pussy you know the old joke

nose with your soup it's like don't talk about the nose don't talk about the nose would you like some nose with your soup it's like I don't talk about the nose, don't talk about the nose. Would you like some nose with your soup? It's like, I don't know. It's some kind of like old Jewish joke or something. No, yes, yes, of course.

Wait, so men claim they love pussy. Oh, yeah, right. And so they're like, I love pussy so much, okay, that I can't be tied down with one. And I'm like, excuse me, okay? And it's similar to not finishing the wing, okay? It's like, no, you've never actually had a pussy in full. Basically, the only thing you think is hot is novelty.

And it's like, wow, that's like, so I see it as similar to the wing. It's like someone who's like, I love Sundays. I love Sundays. That's why I need 10 Sundays. Okay. Time for another Sunday. And you see him. Yeah. And he's like, he takes a cherry off the top and like eats it.

Sorry to reference cherries on top again. Okay. We need it. We need it. Honestly, I need that image I can't do it organically okay just like take a bite of the thing with a little bit of like like like with the whipped cream

okay and then like time for the next Sunday because I love Sundays and you're like you've never had one you've never gotten into the messy goopy slop again if you it's rule of culture number six if you haven't eaten the slop, you have not eaten the Sunday.

You're so right. It's, food is so telling. Like, like a guy, like, it's so telling. Like when you hook up with a guy once

and then they're like, goodbye. I don't understand. They get to act like they're these, they're more sexually, they have greater sex drive than you. That's what's unfair. And it's like, no, like, goodbye. I don't understand. They get to act like they're more sexually, they have a greater sex drive than you. That's what's unfair.

And it's like, no, no, no, but you only, like the only thing, like, look, it's challenging. We all find novelty attractive, right? Of course. And it's like, it's always fun to like, but I've been thinking this, like, it's like through the ages, like I read in college this book for married couples,

like with the, because I'm like, if I'm going to one day be married or better read i want to be in a monogamous relationship can you keep it alive passionate marriage or whatever like i read it like in advance because i like needed to think about like whether i was going to pursue monogamy oh my god yeah because i was worried and it's like it's like surely there is more in this world that is hot right right then only then then not only just crossing boundaries in general because you could do there's a number of boundaries, right? With a person, you could go deeper and deeper.

But literally just the first one, that's the only thing that's hot is stepping over, hey, oh my God, we're friends. No, we're not. That's the only thing. We have to do better. We have to have a better palate for sex.

Okay, great. So then, I mean, at what point does someone just eat every single like yeah when every little piece of gristle marrow what's the end of the line oh it's too much what's the end of the line sexually like you feel completely yeah right right i think it's like it must be like is it? It's just, I know what it is with my ex. I cannot say that. It's like when you have a medical issue and you, you tell your partner, can you look at

this? And it may not be on like the best part of your body. Yes. That's when you're like, you know, you're past it or you're there. That's when you know, you're not even past it. That's when you know you're there. You're like, okay. Like potentially this is like a life situation

because I'm asking you to like check out the little things on my body that even I can't see. Okay, maybe. No, and that's why I reject kind of sometimes the like, like keep, you know, like keep the door closed when you pee.

I'm like, no, but can't we find a, can't we find like a post, like. Postmodern thing. Yeah, like way towards hotness. Like I don't want it to just be like, keep the mystery alive like it was when you first met. Like that just seems flimsy. No, no, no. Yeah. Like way towards hotness. Like I don't want it to just be like, keep the mystery alive like it was when you first met. Like that just seems flimsy. Yes.

Or if the mystery being alive defeats this like sexiness, maybe that's not the true one. Exactly. We should dig deeper. We should dig deeper. And you've already answered my question, Jacqueline, because as soon as you're done eating every single thing off that bone, it becomes a pirate wench's earring.

You make it something else. Oh my God. The Lovely Bones. Did you ever read The Lovely Bones of Grief? Oh my God. What a vicious book. Can you believe the first chapter?

I didn't read it. I was too scared. Don't read it. Don't read it. Hilarious. It's great. I mean, I read it, you know, like, I don't know, when it came out or something. i read it you know like like i don't know when it

came out or something sure the lovely bones refer to like as i recall it's like a lovely i mean it was a metaphor of like the lovely bones of like grief that like in in the in the grief and in the absence of there's really a bag of bones in the book though y'all oh god there is oh right right wait there's a metaphor the literally and like the things that come out of it from this raw space of grief sure the things and the relationships that come out of like handling it whatever and like that something like that did you see the movie mark walberg mark walberg sersha ronan rachel vice i believe sersha plays the young daughter and then stan Stanley Tucci in an Oscar-nominated...

No, he's the pedophile. Oh, he's the rapist. He's the killer. He's the killer. And he got nominated for an Oscar for that. And I'm like, a little bit, I don't think so, honey. You play a pedophile and you get an Oscar nomination. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Totally, totally. It's like... Yeah, yeah. Anything brave will get an Oscar nomination. I had a camera on me while I was dressed as a pedophile talking creepy, and it's an Oscar nomination. It's like, did you really get in there? Like, yeah, there's that or is it a show or something that just came out with with Laura Dern?

Oh, the tale. Right. Yeah. It's based on a thing. And it's like they I was reading an article about how they shot it. So there's like a young girl and her like sexual, you know, abuse or something. And it's like they were like a young girl and her like sexual, you know, abuse or whatever. Right, right, right. Or like an inappropriate relationship or whatever. Something.

And it's like, they were like, a therapist was on set. The girl was, basically like the child actor was never, this is like how it was described. Actually, like not to be like crass, but I thought it was kind of funny. Yeah. Like, so like, they're like, like, so, you know, it's based on the director or someone. It's based on their like. Actual story. Actual story of like a relationship with like someone like a coach or something that was that they like kind of thought was normal at the time and like

looking back real like kind of like unpacked it whatever yeah so this movie is like i think it's like the adult self and she like and then memories and like right girl self and having and they wanted to actually have these scenes of like the sexual like acts oh god going on in some form like see it like like you got to see it like it's ugly and like this is the situation like the sexual like acts going on in some form like see it like you gotta see it like it's ugly and like you gotta stop like making it like a subtle like brave Oscar thing that you don't see anything it's just like a guy like lurking in a corner and you're like brave

and also making rape like a movie thing and making like rape for movies filmic yeah yeah yeah like softening the edges yeah so it's like let's do So it's like, let's do it. But let's not make a traumatizing experience for the actor. But it sounds, for example, instead of having her lay on a bed, like on her back, I was reading about the filmmaking of it,

and she's standing against a wall that's made up to look like a bed, and then her hair is glued against the wall that's made up to look like a bed. And then her hair is glued like against the wall bed. And then like, you know, the direction never has anything to do with it. The male actor, I can't remember who he is right now, but like he's a star and I just forgot who it was. Oh, wow. It's like never on set with a girl, you know?

Oh, okay. Like she's never acting the scene. Oh, wow. That's crazy. And so the director's like, and then the director's like to get the shots. Okay. It gives her direction in other ways.

Totally. Like you just fell off your horse. Okay. Or whatever. Like, like grandma took it, like gave you a piece of candy and it's like kind of like disturbing in another way.

Because it's like, is that, I, is that, it's like, is there something still not not inappropriate, because I'm all for all, right? But it's like, it's almost like to then use the imagery that you purposely got a different way to mean a different thing.

Right. Has like a kind of weird quality to it. So like later when you're like, when you've grown up, but like apparently she did read the script and like. Yeah, that's what i'm saying is i was but but if they were like not being honest with her on set she i wonder if she's gonna like watch it back later and be like oh i don't i'd be like look at her see herself reacting to the situation and feel weird right about it because it wasn't her natural right it's almost like oh oh look at you acting like how like it's like no that was me acting like

it's like you didn't get to choose your own shot right uh-huh you're not inhabiting the situation right so you can never be really stand behind it you can never like truly stand behind the performance right and you're like and you're almost like i would never play like like maybe later you're like i would never play like you know a face of trusting confusion like that yeah yeah they used my so it's like film is the director's medium i guess is that film with the director's medium it sounds i don't know that's a hard one it sounds like yeah it's like a hollowed out portrayal in a way but also i understand wanting to like make sure yeah just protecting and just making sure everyone is okay yeah i think it is the right choice and like I'm coming at it

kind of hard no no no but there's a cost to it I agree with you it's bizarre it's fascinating yeah no it's very it's a little crazy

can I ask a question did we get to the lovely bones by talking about chicken bones yes we did that is a gorge I fly where you take me yeah

I love it I fly where you take me honey we fly where you take us potential potential title of ep I fly where you take me yeah I fly where you take me honey we fly where you take us potential potential title of F I fly where you take me I fly where you take me that's what she says

when she gets on the plane you know when you walk in and like you see the flight attendants you just make sure you go in and check on the cockpit hey just so you know man

I fly where you take me wherever you're going I'm going I find I get a better flight when they know that they can be creative with it you know I find it's a smoother ride

yeah absolutely you want to take a dip here and there you want to go 14,000 instead of 13 honey I'm still here I get a better flight when they know that they can be creative with it. You know, I find it's a smoother ride. Yeah, absolutely. You want to take a dip here and there? You want to go 14,000 instead of 13, honey? I'm still here. I'll still fly where you take me.

Oh my God. Have you ever had any horrific turbulence? I had a bad one that was like, we dropped 200 feet. No! And everyone screamed.

No! I might end saying this to laugh, but oh my God. I'm waiting for that day to happen. I know. And I will be scared to death. I can't.

I'm furious that we have accepted flight as a thing we do. Everyone was screaming thinking they were going to die. It wasn't, it's not as like good. There was just one, it was like one comical moment. Okay. That felt like, it probably felt like in all honesty, you're not expecting me to feel this way. Like, you know, like the Pirates of the Caribbean ride

the little like dips yes of course and there's like a little stomach drop it's not crazy right it wasn't like really long but it was like

it was like this it was like whoa oh my god the face you just made and everyone like and for like

there's something comedic to me about like because it's so absurd yeah all at once and then like one person kind of like stumbled

and fell on their knees in the and there was a lot of turbulence after that but that was the one dip and then I was like tweeting at Jip I think it was Jip

I was like tweeting at Jip Blue like from the plane and then like and then there was like a thing like we're gonna land oh wait

it's too choppy to land like we're going back up and then like a thing, like, we're going to land. Oh, wait, it's too choppy to land. Like, we're going back up. And then, like, the fuel is low, so we're going to go again. We're going to give it another go. We're going to try again. And it was, like, I, like, turned on the little, like, TV thing, which was, like, coming in and out. Like, I hadn't watched any, like, content. Like, I quickly, like, focused on it really intently.

And, like, it was, oh, and then getting off the plane, like, I wanted deets. I wanted to know what exactly went down. And like, I never got a response from JetBlue. It was very weird because I see them respond to other people's stuff. Oh, wow. Honestly, maybe they saw that you were a comedian and didn't want you to troll them and read them.

Oh my gosh. Honestly, wait, no. I don't want to hear from the pilot about exactly what specifically is going on. If they had said we're going to give it another go and fuel is low,

I never want to hear the fuel is low. The fuel is low is terrifying. Come on. That's the worst thing you can hear. We're going to try again. And what if we fail? It's basically like

options have decreased. Well, here's my big question, okay? Okay. I'm sorry. I'm like, I'm like soaring on not having eaten anything today.

And wait, I had lunch. I forgot. I had lunch too and I fell asleep right after and it was so bad. There's just chicken

and slop sitting in my stomach because I ate the slop. I follow the rules. I eat all. You got it. You got to fly where the slop takes you.

Yes. So what's the big question? No, but I'm like I'm like soaring and so like I feel like people are gonna be let them talk no no this is we concede to our guests

so you were gonna pose a big question oh I know what it is yeah are you ready the big question this is what comes to mind every time there's like a lot of turbulence okay and I'm there's always some noises with, I believe landing gear should stay open and down the whole time. Why are we like pressing button on the questionable,

similar to like, I know this isn't how it works, but like, and I've never gone skydiving. Okay. Like don't really plan to, but like, yeah,

the whole like release of the shoot, like terrifies me. Like gizmos and gadgets and mechanical release always seem like potential for failure so like if you could hold the parachute closed like just like a bunched up fabric

and then like suddenly like let it go okay that would feel a lot safer to me you would rather take it into your own hands than have like

a contraption yes because like like I can't think of a perfect metaphor but it's like yeah why give over why give over

your life to something else something when it can be in perfect metaphor but it's like yeah yeah give over why give over some your life to something something when it can be in your own hand yeah it's like that's basically like at the like at the mechanical level of like a zipper or a spring or like right those kinds of things are like always like what breaks where there's a margin there's a margin for error in all of this i'm gonna put out a guess failure no yeah that if we put it in everyone's hands like if we sent them flying out of the planes with the ball of umbrella in their hand, I bet we'd have more deaths.

I'm going to think so. I went skydiving. I did it when I was 18 years old and young and dumb and not yet full of cum. Did you hesitate at the door? Or were you on someone's back? Here's the thing. Yeah, but you had to do tandem. So when I was 18 years old

like all my high school friends were like let's do it to celebrate graduation and I was like okay and so we did it and basically the rule is

you sign like your life away like literally you sign like a book that says like if you die can't sue babe and so I signed on the dotted line

I was like yeah we're all doing it meanwhile I get in the plane I quickly remember I have a fear of flying so then we're up in the air we're at 13,000 feet and they say like once I get in the plane. I quickly remember I have a fear of flying. So then we're up in the air. We're at 13,000 feet

and they say once you get in the plane itself, there is no turning back. You can't stay in the plane and land. It's as if the plane's going to explode. Did you know that every pilot explodes? That's their last line, baby.

No, but what happens is the plane drops. The plane doesn't land back at that base. The plane lands somewhere else. Right. And it's like a rotating thing of planes. I think it's like a different plane all the time. So you'd be miles away. But I bet some people would take the, like, fear would be like, yeah, take me to Vermont.

Right, right, right. Please, just, I'll go anywhere you want to go. I'm sure, like, if you really didn't want to do it, they couldn't throw you out of the plane. But anyway, you, right, right. Please just, I'll go anywhere you want to go. I'm sure like if you really didn't want to do it, they couldn't throw you out of the plane. But anyway, you did sign. So what was it like for you?

I need to do everything. Here's what they did. I'm terrified. You sit there and you're on tandem. So the guy they had me with, I actually have it on video.

And if I ever do, I want to add a show someday, like show the video because it's also funny because I'm like 18 years old and like, hey, my name's Matt. No, wait. It's so dark's Matt no wait it's so dark

so dark it's so dark and triggering and so many masks so many masks it was bad so the guy they chose to put on my back was this guy with like spiky hair like comically spiky like cartoon from Nickelodeon spiky

that's like the rebel kid that oh my god so he's on my back I think his name was something insane like fucking Trask I don't know cartoon from Nickelodeon, Spiky, that's like the rebel kid. Yes. That. Oh my God. So he's on my back. I think his name was something insane, like fucking Trask. I don't know. But he's on my back. And like,

what they do is, all my friends went and then I was going and then my friend was going behind me. So it couldn't be this thing of like, they all went and I was like, ooh, something happened

where I had to stay. I couldn't go. So at that point, I was like, oh my God, we to stay like I couldn't go so at that point I was like oh my god we have to go what they do is oh god they sit you

on the ledge of the plane so your legs are dangling with your legs dangling feeling the air and then you go one rock forward

two rock forward and then on three you are supposed to front flip out of the plane and then throw your arms and legs back and like that's

insane like so you do like a front flip like it's some fucking transporter shit jason statham nonsense oh my god as your cup now how are you supposed to be a special effects wizard how do you know you're coming out of the role you know what i mean i don't know also remember there was a guy on my back so i trusted him all right and, right. And he will help you. He will help. And he'll scream, like, legs out. Legs out. Legs out to the wind. And you're just like, ah. So you do it.

And Trask was the one who pulled the chute. Yes. He eventually pulled the chute. Okay. But, and we'll call him Trask. He's officially Trask. Yeah. We flip out.

I watched the video later. I did not successfully flip. I merely flopped out. I see myself trying to flip. But you also see like my mouth feel like no no I got the video of it too because I had to pay for the video like I was like if I do this I want you know video evidence so I do a front flip out do it and for the first like 15 seconds you feel that free fall like you were talking the Pirates of the Caribbean yes that feel your stomach. Yes, that.

But then the rest of it is, I would say it was similar to when you stick your hand out of a car on the highway. It's like that air on your arm. That's what it feels like the whole rest of the way down. A wind tunnel kind of vibe. Yes, very wind tunnel. What it looks like when you see wind tunnels. Exactly. So you're on your whole body.

Yes, and so you do see a moment because it's like a minute and a half where you're in free fall. And the video catches me having this euphoric time of like, oh my God, I can't believe I'm doing this. I'm trusting it. And guess what?

If I'm gonna die, it is already decided. Yes. So then I'm free in the moment and then he pulls the shoot. It pulls. And what they don't tell you, what's unclear about the skydiving experience. There's a whiplash or no?

Not even that. It's that you float down from 3,000 feet for 10 minutes. That's so funny. So that's the part that fucks me up. Like the free fall was fine, but it's not this thing where they pull it and then seconds later you're on the ground.

No, it's 10 minutes of just you in the harness with a stranger on your back and just this piece of fabric above you and literally thousands of feet under you. And that is what people don't realize is that is the part. Once the chute has been pulled, it's actually where the terror begins. Yes, in 10 minutes. And then he started to do this thing where he started to like put yank on the rope so that we would do like a flipping motion. Why?

Because that's what people do and he was like, yes, it's gonna be really cool. for your buck, trash. Right. Yeah.

I got my 250 out of him and it was expensive. It's too much. So like, then I start to get really violently sick. It's too much. Like I feel myself

get nauseous because I realize the gravity of the situation like literally. No pun intended. But I'm like, oh my God, we're now floating down. It's going to be 10 minutes of this. And he's spinning it and I start to get really nauseous. I hadn't eaten that day because I was too nervous. Yes.

I should have known like I always need to go on like roller coasters on a full stomach or else I get nauseous. What? I start to dry into my own shirt shirt spitting into my t-shirt and really having a hard time floating down 10 000 feet spitting coughing sputtering into my shirt like trash is like oh you okay dude honestly he's i was like i just don't think you answer in your bro voice i was like yeah dude i don't think you should spin i don't think you should talk either. And I'm like, I think I'm going to, I'm throwing up into my shirt, the contents of my like, like bio. Driving is hell.

Oh, it's, it was horrible. And I did it the whole way down. And then like the video was off you by this point. Cause you, they can't like float right. So like the last thing you see is him pull the, you see him pull the shoot. Then there's off camera, 10 minutes of me like into my shirt and then the next shot is just us landing and me landing

and the guy with the video camera goes hey it's Matt what do you think one of many and I just go with like dazed look in my eye like I've been punched in the face I just give like a lazy thumbs up and it ends on my face I can't believe I've never shown you this I have to show you this I think you have to post onto the

Patreon. I should post. Because it was such an insane experience and I said never again. But this is the part of the story that is and this comes back to what you were saying. My other friend Kevin did not have a negative experience. He loved it. So much so that he

went again. He wanted to do because if you go three times then you don't have to go tandem then you can go by yourself so he was right and only after three times i mean do you want to swim with someone on your back oh my god i guess so then in theory if you like the sensation but no he goes get this he goes a second time he has the experience he does it they land the guy goes to him that was on his back he goes i obviously there was no time to tell you this i didn't want to tell you while we were in midair but we had to go to the backup shoot the first shoot didn't pull oh my god and wait that happens like not

uncommonly okay it happened to my friend okay right and i could have died of a friend no no my close friend kevin Kevin, from high school. I'm really disturbed, okay? You should be. Because here's the thing. It's like, why are they betting on two? Okay? When one can go, then certainly the second one can.

So why are we doing it at all? It's not safe. And is three even enough? Well, here's the thing. It's like, then you really sit down and realize, oh, one place we're not supposed to be. Midair. The sky. Midair.

You're not supposed to be up there. You're not supposed to be in midair. You're not supposed to be deep diving in the sea. I'm sorry. It's uninhabitable. Truly. Truly. Scuba diving, like.

It's even worse. Oh, my God. Like with the air tanks. Like. I'm like what a bad idea to choose to like have your breathing

rely on a tank of air oh no and like a series of gizmos and gadgets once again gizmos and gadgets gizmos and gadgets might be the title of F

gizmos and gadgets it's not no no like I mean first of all have you ever seen like one of the great one of the finest films and frankly like

pieces of American drama? Like, I think it could have been staged on a stage. Open water. Open water. Open water. I saw the trailer and I was like, I can't see that. You got it. And I think open water because it's so simple.

I like, I always like laugh about the idea of like a really, like a really stripped down theatrical production. Like, you know what I mean? Like two chairs. Like, oh my God. Like two stools. Like, you know, even though they're, two chairs. Like, it's like two stools. Like, you know, even though they're like, whatever,

but it's like representative. Like Harold Pinter style. Oh my God. Wouldn't that be like the best? But I think it is like amazing. You're gonna see it. Do you know Open Water? I don't know Open Water.

Okay, Open Water is the story of a couple that goes on like a vacation, like a scuba diving trip on their honeymoon or something. Okay. And they go and they come up and the boat has had to leave

because of like some issue or something. And they forgot them. They didn't realize. They forgot them. Like there was like a clerical error or something on the boat. Again, why you don't sign your life away. Yeah, yeah.

And the boat's like wet clipboard. Yeah, right. Like how many like life vests you took. Yeah, you know a guy named Chet like ran it. Oh my God, why isn't this automated?'t this automated and so they are out in open water and they eventually shark starts to circle them and like spoiler alert no when did this come out spoiler his face says it all but i'm like no no don't tell him i won't tell i won't tell you what happens but like wait what happened to you what happened to you when did this come out

oh I'm gonna say this is about nine years ago yeah right wow yeah yeah at least

like cause I feel like and I actually I showed up for Open Water 2 which which is not even made by the same people it's one of those like

hey I'm gonna analogous sequels yeah yeah yeah right where it's like just like for the love of the game you know like

they're like we're making and Open Water 2 is like its just like for the love of the game, you know? Yeah, right. They're like, we're making, and Open Water 2 is like its own like kind of, Open Water 2 is like a group of people and the premise is like, they're on this yacht

and they decide to go swimming outside of the boat. They like let the ladder down. Right. They screw up and like, the ladder is like up and like, so they're,

Oh no. They're stuck outside their own like fancy boat in the middle of the water. With no way of getting in. Pitifully trying to move up at the slippery sides of their boat. I love that. Oh my God, that's actually, I love it.

I love that. There's a dramatic kind of simple horror. Yeah, yeah. There's a Sisyphean quality to it. Exactly, it's right there. That should have been the first one. That's a comment, that's a comment. It is a comment.

And there's more to it. Even like, you know, like, yeah, there's more about like wealth and like status that comes into play. Wow. It got all like social political. It's not. Although it doesn't have the simplicity like the could. I don't.

That could be staged. It's not about just like basic. I think we staged this. Could be staged. I think human beings should just not be not even underwater. They shouldn't we staged this. Could be staged. I think human beings should just not be, not even underwater, they shouldn't be in water.

Oh, yes. I believe we should be in the shallow water. To bathe. To cool off. To cool off. Because imagine if we were primitive, which we once were.

Which we once were. We would need to be there to bathe. But no, no deep diving. No real, no, no, no nonsense. Not even deep diving. But Matt and I were just at Alcatraz a couple weeks ago. And we did one of the tours where they explained all the attempted escapes. Yes.

Oh, wow. And there's only been one successful escape from Alcatraz where the man like gets out, whatever. And then. Genius plan to get out. Genius plan to get out. Involving like taking floss or some sort of like stringy substance every day for seven years. Like going at one bar.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Going at one bar and then he escapes through like the vents or something. Climbs up the vents to the roof. Crosses over the roof. Crosses over the roof. Lands among,

like lands at the shore, I guess. Walks with purpose like he's going somewhere. Like as if he has the permission right and then and then like they have no way of knowing

what the conditions are on the water right from the from inside in December in December in December in San Francisco

cold water waves are crashing crashing and he has to basically the tour guide basically describes in like

like amazing detail his swim from the island to the shore in San Francisco but he has to like but then just the waves are pushing him towards the sea and he's like okay Girardelli Square is my target yeah misses that misses that and then the next target

is okay I guess another landmark another landmark what's it called the fucking the fucking the fucking military base that's next to Golden Gate Bridge just misses every landmark

until he basically lands at like right by the Golden Gate Bridge and then he immediately gets taken and then he's hypothermic

and then he's hypothermic washes up so he wasn't even dead he was hypothermic yeah and then they find him like in a ball and then he was literally

that night brought back to Alcatraz. And so this is all to say that human beings shouldn't be in water, period. Right, this is all to say that. But that was a fascinating story because they said he had literally done this thing that he had worked on for seven years every single day,

hatching this genius plan to break out of Alcatraz, and then he gets to the cliff, and he was like, oh my God, I don't think think I can do this I literally don't think this is possible and he has to make a decision like am I gonna go back and like possibly even die because they shoot me dead right here and I'm trying to get out and I might be a danger to the I didn't know this either families that lived on Alcatraz like the families of like the guards and the people that own the thing so So that was like, and they felt very safe there. Or do I literally probably die doing this, but I'd rather have that than be in prison.

And he decided to go for it. And it didn't work. To go for it is so, but do you think there was a, God, when people go for it, it's incredible. I love it. It's incredible when people go for it.

It's actually rule of culture number 104. It's incredible when people go for it. Because it's so hard. It's so hard to go for it. Because it's so hard. It's so hard to go for it. I mean, and he both, you know, he showed grit.

Yes. Like he did the long term, right? He was able to do the long term thing and he was able to do the spontaneous like bold move

to be both those guys. Yeah. He showed range. In one. Yeah. He showed range. He, really when they make

a musical of it the number on the cliff is gonna be amazing oh that's like should I go in there or no I don't know I hear it

I love that I hear it yes I mean I'm also seeing like the lights swirling over Javert yeah yeah yeah it'll be such a moment pushing like that

like the dive like is done through the lights yes absolutely or no like when he falls and you're like you're like It'll be such a moment. Like the dive is done through the lights. Yes, absolutely. Oh no! Like when he falls. And you're like, there is no place to go.

Amazing. Love to act. We're thinking in such stagey terms. Yeah, I don't know. I see it as a musical for some reason. I think it is. Alcatraz the musical. Yeah. Alcatraz the musical.. Alcatraz, the musical.

Wait, we have to ask you the question that we ask all of our guests. And that just shows how crack-a-lack in this conversation has been that we are getting there. Percolating. Nearly an hour into the discussion. But Jacqueline, what was the culture that made you say culture was for me? Like could have been something in pop culture you experienced as a youngin or like, you know, a movie that you saw maybe even later in life

that was like, okay, no, actually this. Like what would you, what did you say is the pop culture that defines you? Okay, it's really hard to say, but I mean,

and I'm probably not the first person to say this, but I would say a good, big one would probably be Grease 2. Grease 2! Not even the first. It's the 40th anniversary

of the first Grease. Yes, did you know that? How timely of you. And for me, you know, for me, I mean, Grease, you know, Grease is great. But Grease 2 is really, I mean, it's big for my family, including my cousins. And on Thanksgiving, my sister would like usually like direct us in a few Grease 2 numbers. Oh, wow. We were all just really big fans of it.

And I do believe that a large part of my personality is perhaps molded after Stephanie Zanoni, Michelle Pfeiffer's character. Michelle Pfeiffer. And kind of like, so like for me, like I feel like it gave me something to model myself in high school after, okay, which was like, yeah, like, yeah, like I'm like, these are my friends and whatever,

but I'm also like independent, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like, I'm not afraid to like, like hang and whatever but i'm also like independent you know what i mean yeah yeah and like i'm not afraid to like um like hang with who i want when i want you know what i mean like wait give a brief summary of greece too because i think a lot of the children don't know no fair enough and also like get in there because like it holds up because i have to say i don't know the plot of greece i watched it once as a child and i hated it because it wasn't greece one no of course and like it could never be and like it's like its lackings are its strengths you know like i love you just have to like let it like you just have to just just embrace it on its own terms because like it's got sort of like there's something like trashy about it of course and it's like wonderful so it's like um a couple years

later um new kids new kids except except uh frenchie is like back Frenchie's the constant I guess she's it didn't work out I'm like why is she back I guess she's back from she went back to high school right she went to beauty school

she's back now she took his advice so Sandy's cousin Michael Carrington who's who's like nerdy and has an accent

and whatever okay like a male Sandra Dee so to speak we gotta love okay shows up and Frenchie's like nerdy and has an accent and whatever. Okay. Like a male Sandra Dee, so to speak. We gotta love. Okay. Shows up and Frenchie's like, I'm going to show you around. Same thing. Right.

And then Michelle Pfeiffer is already there. Michelle Pfeiffer is a pink lady. It's like senior year. And there's the other pink ladies. And it's like things are on the rocks. With like the T-Bird like of her Johnny. Okay. And like these are kind are on the rocks with like the T-Bird like of her Johnny these are kind of on the rocks and then she's like kind of like

over his like macho like nonsense and like she's like so cool and like she's like dreaming of a cool rider which is like a wonderful song which is like I want to see O-O-L-R-I-D-E-R that's cool you know and it's like she like dances around like the empty stage

because there's like a theater production that plays, you know, heavily in and like a big talent show. Oh, is she like an actress in the movie? Like they're all, everyone in the school is like participating. Like even the T-Birds are like. Of course. They're all interested in the arts. Huh?

Okay, yeah. They're all like wanting because there's like a prize or something. Yeah. Like whatever. So like, so Stephanie Zan he's like whatever so so like so Stephanie Zanoni is like kind of like

and Stephanie Zanoni like strikes up a friendship with this very nerdy Michael Carrington who's like doing everyone's homework for them like doing homework for the T-Birds

you know to get money oh yeah definitely to get money to well this big secret hot is coming oh wow I knew it

he's like doing everyone's homework and like getting money and then he's like going like buys like a beat-up motorcycle okay oh and he could he hears like stephanie zanoni being like i want a rider that's cool i want a lot more than the boy next door i want helen wheels just give me that you know uh black motorcycle with a man growing out of the seat oh and then by night we'll be rolling okay it's incredible I'm gonna Spotify that later it's so good

he's playing piano for the talent show so he hears this and he's like I gotta get cool so he pays the money he fixes up the bike and he practices in a field and falls over but then he gets pretty good and he wears a helmet and one night at the bowling alley where they're all singing we're gonna score tonight oh at the

alley it's incredible right and so and like um hey and johnny johnny go bowl that strike and i just might be a baby tonight so then they go outside and they're like, what's going on? Because the T-Birds are there. The ladies are there. And someone comes up like, and like blows past them and like goes like zooming up onto like a car.

And then they start singing. Who's that guy on that motorcycle? Oh my God. And then Michael on the thing. What would they say if they knew it was Michael? And Michael on Motorcycle Ryan. And he's hidden. He's still hidden.

Oh, wow. And so they're like, who's that guy? And then he comes around and Stephanie Zanoni gets on and rides through the night with him. Because she doesn't care who it is. Yeah, he's a cool rider. He's a cool rider. And she kisses him with the helmet still on. And so it's like you just see his lips. Throughor oh no no no yeah like you can't oh you just

see the lips he drops her off and she's like you know it's like a batman situation that didn't need to be yes okay guys and it's really important and like michael's like still like tutoring her and like and like oh my god but like the way like but there's something about like i honestly it's like so cheeseball but like i was like yeah like that's what I'd be like like yes you can be part of the pink ladies but not want to be owned like property like yeah yeah yeah so she does this thing where she's like in front of like Johnny

in the bowling alley before let me see how this works I think this is what happened like Johnny's like upset and she's like she's like I'm such a bad story told she's like I'm gonna I bad story to her she's like she's like I'm gonna I can kiss whoever

you know if I want yeah whoever who I want or whatever like I'll kiss the next guy that walks in here oh yeah

and like Johnny's like oh yeah go for it and like this old man walks in okay and everyone's like ha ha ha and like she's like

she walks over and right that moment Michael like nerdy Michael comes in she grabs him and kisses him and Michael's like what and it's like to make over and right that moment Michael like nerdy Michael comes in she grabs him and teaches him and Michael's like what and it's like to make a point

now the great thing about okay the other thing that Keegan agrees to okay just I'll give you one more like like flavor

to like get you excited we need more I mean it's all incredible it opens with a number called back to school okay I love that setting the world

setting the world okay and then you get in there and then they're in class and they're learning about reproduction and it's a full number and it they're in class and they're learning about reproduction and it's a full number and it's like

reproduction reproduction but you like put your stamen to work oh my god flowers

it's not put your stamen to work but there's stuff like that yeah yeah yeah that was good they use like real language yeah yeah they really do it

so it's amazing and then basically ultimately like so that mystery like unfolds and things come to a head at the big That was good that they used real language. Yeah, yeah, they really do it. So it's amazing. And then basically, ultimately, so that mystery unfolds and things come to a head at the big production that night and there's danger and risk of death. But there's the one song that sucks.

There's one song that sucks. Really, there's one? You know how there's sometimes one song that sucks? There's always a daughter too. Sometimes there might even be three or four songs that suck although what's the song that sucks in regular Grease is there one

oh wait I feel like there is wait let me think Hopelessly Devoted To You does not suck Grease Lightning does not suck Summer Nights does not suck

You're The One That I Want does not suck We Go Together does not suck I guess one of the songs maybe no but it's a very strong score

there's one In Grease 2 And like Maybe you know Like for me Like the Tango Marine In Rent is not I don't like that I love the Tango Marine

Okay And I'm like Always ashamed Because I'm like The comedy I'm like Get me away from the comedy You know what I mean

Like in Rent I don't like the levity of it Yeah yeah No I don't Get me back to like Forget regret Yes yes I love that Tango Marine I don't. Get me back to like Forget Regret. Yes, yes, yes. I love that.

Tango Marine. I feel guilty like not liking it. But like, anyway, Charades. I just want to put that out there. It's called Charades. Charades is a bad song.

It's a sad, it's like a dark night of the soul for Michael where he just like, you see him moving through the cafeteria getting food and singing like about

the charade that is like masked. Oh God. It's very, it's very not good. He could have changed it. It's like special. So wait, is he, is it the kind of movie where it's very it's very not good he could have changed it like special so wait is he is it the kind of movie where it's like this person would

never ever get the attention of these people but like you're watching it and you're like but he's so hot you know he's he's very beautiful and like I forget who the actor like is now like I can't remember his name because it's just like the movie's real to me yeah right right right and I'm like he's absolutely like a handsome man

but I in my youth like because I still always like felt like I perceived him as like the like nerdy cheese ball so I was like kind of like

I was like I saw that he was like aesthetically like whatever fine but like I was still like I'm like he's still a cheese ball under there the presentation of it

I was like thrilled by the romance to be honest yeah yeah yeah you buy the presentation of like I guess like what is it not never been kissed the other one she's all that she's all that yes of it. I'm thrilled by the romance to be honest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You buy the presentation of like, I guess like, what is it? Not Never Been Kissed,

the other one. She's All That? She's All That. Yes. Like when they're like, oh yeah, her, you're like,

yeah, her, she's nothing. Meanwhile, like literally the whole trope in Not Another Teen Movie which is brilliant of just like her taking off the sunglasses

and being like, okay, done. That's really all we needed. It's ridiculous, yeah. That's a good movie that's a great not another teen movie not another teen movie

there's no change to him I mean visibly like there's no glasses he may have glasses but like there's nothing other than like putting on the motorcycle yes

and she is and the nice thing is that when she's tutoring when they're tutoring and he's tutoring her and he's like he's like and she's like into him

and she's like falling for him in the tutoring setting so it's not like she's only falling for the cool rider it's like there's like a flirting there and it's like why's like she's like into him and she's like falling for him in the tutoring setting so it's not like she's only falling for the cool writer it's like there's like a flirting there and it's like

why are you hanging out with nerds you know like she's into she's into his personhood absolutely there you go and she goes

like there's no ketchup on your burger okay oh my god she's like you gotta put ketchup on your burger

and I love it and I feel like that was a part of my personality too she's like, you gotta put ketchup on your burger. And I love it. I feel like that was a part of my personality too. She's like, can I get some ketchup for my friend's hamburger, please? I feel like that is fed into my life. And you know the way she said hamburger was probably just like that and so iconic. You know what I'm sitting here realizing right now? Grease is quite problematic. The fact that she comes in in her leather getup at the end

and he's like, Sandy! And then he basically just gets to flip back and dance sexy with her and then everything's fine. But she only earns their respect when she embraces her sexuality. And she conforms to the male gaze. And she fully does. And also she discovers it in one day,

which means there's probably got to be some stuff going on there. That's not who she wants to be that's who you want her to be I don't think so honey grease I appreciate that it's like

it's an issue right it's a latent sexuality for Sandy like it's always been there yes but yes like the pacing of it

she was having sex with him on the beach that summer right were they having sex is that up for debate or was that a thing we made out under the dark and she says we splashed

around in the pool i mean they show them like lying there though like they show visual i mean the movie like yeah they do they do kind of they fade into they definitely discuss at least heavy petting yeah but i don't think sandy i don't think they were having sex no i like she maybe they're not because then he tries to touch her boob later in the car and she's like, oh! It figures into her sort of like prudishness as Sandra Dee. Yeah, no, totally.

But he's being like, he's been like really hideous to her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In the car, it is grotesque that now he's like trying to make a move. But yeah, like it is like what, and it's like, look, like I like smoked cigarettes in college

like to try to be like you better shape up like i literally was like i'm cool and i'm mean to my own body yes like like you know like i had to grade myself for you it's like yeah it's an issue it's an issue but really no connection to grease one for you no no i love it yes i mean i love all the tunes but grease two was the thing that like opened all the doors. Oh, right. So, right. In terms of like the culture or whatever, like, yeah, like Grease 2 has to be a huge one. I mean, we embodied it ourselves. We watched it a lot. You know, but like I would do a lot of back to back.

One and two? No, I was going to drop into like a different one. But I should. Do it. Like, because I was going to go into like Adventures in Babysitting. Oh, okay. Combined with Beetlejuice was like a big double feature for me. The movie? Yeah. Beetlejuice. but I should do it like because I was gonna go into like Adventures in Babysitting oh okay combined with Beetlejuice was like a big double feature for me

the movie yeah okay Beetlejuice that was yeah and honestly do you think that that kind of like like formed your sense of humor a little bit like that

possibly yeah like I do see like Michael Michael Keaton's Beetlejuice I'm like I'm like that's gotta be a comedic influence oh yeah

also Ursula and obviously we know why okay I mean what Ursula I mean sorry Little mean, sorry, a little more. I mean, obviously, yes. Oh, yeah, of course. A little more.

And Ursula, like doing Ursula, like you can easily obviously see me doing porn for fortunate souls like around in the basement. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then like same. Same. I was scared of her, though. Yeah. Did you have any fear towards her?

I loved her. I think I was scared at the same time as like the thrill of embodying her, like the humor of her. There is a thrill to just even this moment. Yes. Listeners, let us know if you relate to this. But the moment when Ursula

and poor unfortunate souls like spins around this plume of smoke and says and sings, it's sad but true. Yeah, the reality of life there's such like a like a kinesthetic thing about it where she's like moving through I'm like oh my god

that's mind-blowing she is yes she's no I was never scared of her I was always like oh that what is that and then you find out oh it's based on divine based on the drag queen divine and that's what I find comforting yeah I'm like I it's like isn't it sort of sweet like I was like, I, it's like, isn't it sort of sweet? Like, I was like, profoundly influenced by Ursula,

like, not knowing, like, what was being like, like, the influence that was being like, snuck into me. It's kind of like, so like, I'm like, yes. Like, now I very much appreciate.

Yes. You know what I mean? It's like a Trojan. Horse for John Waters stuff. Exactly. It's like, oh, wow. Got in early. It planted the like, love. And it's like, there's something you got in early it planted the like love and it's like

there's something you're responding to like Ursula I mean it was unbelievable it was unbelievable if there hadn't been an inspiration for Ursula it'd be like

well how would you create her how would you yeah like that would be like genius happening yes yes yes I mean I think it was

when she got very big yes that I got really scared of her but I think I always appreciated poor unfortunate souls but she's it's funny nowortunate Souls. But she's,

it's funny now, but like for kids, she's scary. And also I liked that she was like a female villain. Yes. Like, because I think that was like, there's a lot of weird shit about.

She was a female villain who used her sexuality. Ooh, honey. And Maleficent never did that. Cruella de Vil never did that. Right, right. Because those are like, are like it's a different kind of icon like Ursula was like heavy right

and like eating like suckling sucking on a shrimp those little live like overtly sexual and you know it's sort of like feminine it's kind of like everything that's shameful about femininity. And I mean, which again makes sense.

Right. But like, it's like like her like tentacles, her tentacles like floating around her, like feeding herself, like squeezing the little things and bursting like a little stick or whatever. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. I'll never forget that image. And then the tiny like also like sort of like, I mean, really disturbing was like the tiny

porn fortune souls that were like kept in that. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So sad. Devastating. She had the vanity. and then the tiny like also like sort of like I mean it was really disturbing it was like the tiny poor unfortunate souls that were like kept in that oh yeah so sad devastating she had the vanity she had the boudoir whatever the fuck like

oh my god yeah and her two like eels oh my god Flotsam and Jetsam Matt Rogers and Bo and Yang that's true we would gladly be the Flotsam and Jetsam

to your Ursula if you want us to get the performance going we'll be like we'll just wordlessly flop around you like this imagine if you were like brilliantly like We would gladly be the Flotsam and Jetsam to your Ursula. If you want us to get the performance going, we'll just wordlessly flop around you like this. Imagine if you were brilliantly, we really did the stage work that was necessary for you to be able to move just by manipulating your abdominals. You were completely suited.

I could do it. I know you could. I know you could. All your moves would almost trigger, so you'd be on something smooth. You'd make the subtle wiggles, but you'd like shoot across the stage. Yes. Wow.

Honestly, we had a friend on the show, Amy Jo Jackson, who's played Ursula in like the production. Yes. And she says that to get into the costume is a procedure. But it's necessary to bring the full illusion. Oh, absolutely. She bore it. The whole fantasy. She bore it.

Okay. I think it's time it might be time did I get did I say anything did I get you know did you get anything out we covered a large swath of culture let me tell you something I think that people and so have you stayed in Michelle Pfeiffer's stand

after Grease 2 I think so yeah I think I'm never gonna turn on you know like I'm like yeah like yeah yeah like I do. What has she done wrong? Nothing. That's what I'm saying.

You can't see a Michelle Pfeiffer performance and not leave being like, who the hell is that? Yes. Baltimore Crab. I mean. Even in Hairspray. So fun. But also she turns out so many great performances.

Like she'll take a quote unquote take a break. Right. But like even the movies that no one really knows about like there's a movie called stardust oh yes she's amazing she plays a witch oh oh no no i think i've definitely seen that it's like a children's high fantasy movie and there was a movie called why oleander which i think more people know but she was incredible in that yes psycho right right um and she was so good in that and like typical monster mom fair but does it well yes and then of course you know all her iconic performances but it really all started with

was it grease too which was her first thing or was it scarface do we know scarface definitely came out before grease too really you think grease too was i can't like identify when grease too came up because i'm like to me it's like I've always been confused about Grease because of the time period of the thing yes and that's gonna like

who's gonna remember like 70 years from now it's omnipresent you're gonna think it was made in the 50s in the whatever and that is always they do such a

quote unquote good job I feel in evoking the 50s that I'm always like oh this is a 50s movie but it's now fully a 70s movie yes

exactly 1978 oh my god and that is part but it's now fully a 70s movie. Yes. Exactly. 1978. Oh my god. And that is part of it. That's like part of what's the weird dynamics. Anyway. It's so great when you see something just like nail like a period. Like I'll say right now like I think the show out there that does it best right now is Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Yes.

I don't even know how they accomplish what they accomplish but that is like that time. I mean, it's crazy. It's fun to think about a period piece that was done like decades ago. Isn't that fun? There's like layers to that. Exactly.

Oh, this is like a Victorian thing. Yes. It's a 90s Victorian. It's hilarious. Yes. There was a lot of that. There was a lot of sensibility. Yeah. It's like what was the way we did like period pieces's a 90s Victorian it's hilarious yes like a sense of sensibility yeah

what was the way we did like period pieces in the 90s like what did we think like you know like there's a double refraction it's like

okay it's one thing and then another anyway have you ever seen The Age of Innocence that also has Michelle Pfeiffer yes she's incredible

in that she's like gives that movie so much life and vitality and I watched it in high school and I was like I hate this movie

it's boring and I really don't I'm not I'm not a Daniel Day Lewis fan yeah I think he's sort of boring when he's not playing wacko right hilarious but but looking back at that movie I'm like that movie was

lush it looked good honey there's full shots of them just like a period piece honestly if I felt I had any real talent like that I would love to but

no I know I'd put on the costume and well no just act like a period oh like to bring out the like but like

I do think there's like a new like look if I one day direct a period piece I will have some like things which is like we're not automatically doing a British accent

just because it's old timey. Right, right. It's not relevant. You know what I mean? That's so true. We also don't have to like, look like our skin may also look better than it would have looked in the 1800s.

A hundred. We're not like, well, actually we do. But in other words, like there could be a way to be where you do it, where you like make the adjustments and you're like,

yeah, we're not going to talk like, I don't know. This is me making up rules for my own work where I wouldn't have to do the hard thing no but there are anachronisms no matter what it's like you know it's like there has to be there has to be and it's like you know I was I was watching

Marie Antoinette on the plane I was just gonna bring that up and I was like okay but this still works it still works even though she has like it tells her story you know Chuck Taylor's or whatever the fuck it's just stylized yeah does she wear converse oh wait I didn't realize something like that okay they're like going for it no there's like and the soundtrack is like fully contemporary and like she wears like you know footwear that's modern and she like you know i think to like she doesn't have an accent like it's like we're telling the

story she speaks like kirsten dunst there you go um but then there was an oh what like shakespeare in love okay you know what I mean? Like, was that a whole movie in like Shakespeare language? Shakespeare language. Well, no, because even. That's a good one too. Because even Shakespeare writing was stylized in that way. Right. It's not like they all talked in iambic pentameter rhyming.

Right, right, right. Also like Shakespeare. You know what I think is a funny thing to say about Shakespeare? What? It's like so like whatever I mean it's very subtle I mean it's very not I'm overly building it up but I love to do that because I kind of feel like

why like trick you you know like yeah what I'm about to say is not that interesting but it's slightly amusing to me and it's just like I find it fun and funny to say Shakespeare's not funny that's it that That's it. And watch people just go.

Because like, you know how like I love like, you know, like how there's like you kind of want to in comedy, like I mean, or in anything, right? Like appreciate the classics. Yeah, of course. But look like like Moliere was big for me. You know what I mean? For sure. And it's like and you're like you're like you try to read it or something or like you're

like you're like, what can I say? I'm like whatever those are the things I get public library sales where I'm like you know like my stand up's

gonna be informed by like Balzac by Voltaire by everyone who came before me I am an amalgamation of everyone

who's come before I agree with you Shakespeare's not funny I took I took a camp. I took a week long day camp when I was in seventh grade where it was like a Shakespeare camp and we just

a unit was learning how to insult someone with Shakespearean insults. It was the dumbest, least cool thing I've ever encountered in my life. Honestly, I feel like it's asked and answered that I say this I have all the listeners are gonna be like yeah bitch we know but I don't get Shakespeare okay stop

everyone's gonna be like girl no no I think you both make a good point Flotsam and Jetsam okay I honestly think it's because it's actually yeah Flotsam one of them was very well read and Jetsam was like the dumb one who like watched Real Housewives okay it is time

this is our segment on our show where we take one minute to reel against something in culture you may know it if you're a listener of this show

it's called I don't think so Honey and we very much appreciate will this episode come out before or after our live show

okay well we we love that you came out to our live show at the Bell House then and we all had a fabulous time and we're gonna get you on one of them soon because we need it it'd be heaven

I have one it's based on a shared experience we just had I think I have one similar and it's gonna be different I can tell it's gonna be different but we'll see. This is Matt Rogers' I Don't Think So Honey. His time starts now.

I Don't Think So Honey, when you go see a play and in the theater, people are unwrapping food. You have been told. It's like crazy. And I actually think this is even worse than the cell phones going off. Because you can forget that your cell phone was on. You can't forget what it sounds like when you're unwrapping a piece of candy. I don't think so, honey. It is so loud.

And then, guess what? You trying to do it quieter is making it worse because you're elongating the experience of everyone listening to it. So you need to please, honestly, if you're watching a play or a musical, whether there's going to be a scene change, unwrap it quickly then. I don't think so, honey, if we're watching a play or a musical whether there's gonna be a scene change unwrap it quickly then I don't think

so honey if we're in the middle of literally Idina Menzel's last monologue in skin tight it's her last emotional monologue with the guy and am I wrong someone started opening the gift wrapper and you literally lost 10 seconds of what she was saying I don't think so honey opening things

during the thing I would rather you set a firework off and that's one a minute but here's the thing matt you know what happened during her last monologue was also a cell phone going off no they're honestly but still better it was crazy yes and here's the thing they obviously were all concerned about the cell phones going off during performances like that's something that they reinforced went on for a minute a long time and also there was one of the ushers was like running up

and down the aisles trying to find who it was and it's just like, girl, I can't believe this. Someone went with strict denial. Right.

If you don't acknowledge that it's your phone, you're like, no, it can't be. I know I can't be the asshole. No, just turn it off. And also, honestly,

honestly, there was someone right in front of you guys. Yeah, right in front of us who was who was unwrapping and I was just like

god like I know I feel like I'll feel like a dick being like excuse me stop but like excuse me

stop and it's like it's a rule of the theater his partner whoever he was was chastised and they were like

stop unwrapping and then he got louder he was like I'm drunk and like he raised his voice it's like an indignance it's like it's like the thing

of like when someone is like knows they're wrong but can't take it and honestly it probably was like a lot of stuffy older white guys in there and honestly that is another thing because it's like a homogenous crowd I don't think so honey these people at the theater who are a certain demographic who

can't live without their phones being on full fucking volume and blast it It's like, guys, come on. And then you're the one who's telling our generation that we're inappropriate. You're inappropriate. Seriously, the behavior at the theater by these people and the unwrapping of candy, it is really sick.

I know Joe appreciates it because he comes from the theater. I appreciate this deeply as well. Thank you. We almost stopped. We saw this. We saw, for people, did we mention, we saw Skin Tight.

Well, yes, we saw Skin Tight, Roundabout Theater Company's Skin Tight with Idina Menzel. Amazing show. It was lovely. I loved, whenever I see Idina Menzel on stage,

I'm like, oh, there's Idina Menzel. You know what I mean? She is a star. She's a star. Oh, yeah. And like, you're like,

oh, yeah, she's great. She's a Tony winning actress. And like, honestly, there are so many, there's like so many, like, it's a play, it it's not a musical so if you're going to see her give you adina vocals you're going to see her yeah grounded adina acting and it was fun and it was about like

some interesting things um so i we would recommend seeing skin tight yes and my honor so honey is going to be um from the same experience wow and this is bowen yanks i don't think so honey and his time starts now i I Don't Think So Honey the gay gentleman who sat next to me at Skin Type Oh yes. Who fucking read me

when I said when I compare first of all I was talking to Matt and Cindy who came over we didn't we're not seated together but Matt and Cindy

came over during intermission they were like how do you like the show? I was like I like it it reminds me of like it's like a modernized Neil Simon play and then this

this fucker yeah had the audacity to butt into this conversation that he was not a part of and he said well let's not be too generous okay and i was like ah ha ha fun but then which which isn't even in the issue well i mean one it is an issue rude but then during act two there's this there's this there's this comedic pattern there's a comedic pattern. There's a callback to these people putting on Botox, and it's funny. But then he goes, then he taps my shoulder and says, okay, now it's Neil Simon.

And I go, sir, do not bother me while I am trying to enjoy this play. And so, first of all, I was right. Thank you for acknowledging my correctness, but I't think so honey that man and that's one minute you know what these people they think they run shit no and they get it they can get away with all their nonsense theater goer this is the light I wish we were going to the theater

tonight I know so we can tell them all we can show them how it's done eat okay I get being hungry I get wanting snacks. Like work it into like a cloth bag. Yeah. Like figure it out. Or just like, yeah, just literally.

You know what I'm saying? Well, you don't need it right then. No, no. You know what I mean? Absolutely. You never do. I mean, I'm coming up with like the most, like if someone. No, cloth bag I like.

Cloth bag I like. Like cloth bag with a soft, like if you can like sneak soft chocolate in your mouth. Yeah. Go for it. Do that. The slow, like if you can like sneak soft chocolate in your mouth, go for it. Do that. The slow, like, and I've known the shame and I actually believe in the movie there. And I think,

I'm sorry, the podcast is over, but I just want to say one thing, which is, and I think you'll appreciate. Now, I actually weirdly believe that the snacks they sell at the movie theater and the noises they create are part of the deal.

Yeah. Oh, that's fine. It's almost like now, maybe if it's a silent moment in a quiet place and you go, you know,

you try to be reasonable with your milk duds or whatever. But I believe like those are all fair game in movies because they're part of it. Because there's subwoofers involved.

No, the movie theater, the movie going experience is different. Also because you're not paying $70 for a ticket. Like you're in the same room as the you're in the same fucking room as the performer that's what I'm saying too they can hear the canvas

if you can hear it they can hear it and honey we can all hear and I think what needs to happen is we need to have a progression where the just the voice coming up before the play is not going to be enough I think an usher needs to get on stage and be like hi guys thank you so much for coming due to constant issues

we are going to have to ask everyone right now to turn off their phone and this is going to be a reminder at this time that it is not appropriate to unwrap snacks during the performance can I get a verbal yes for everyone that is ready to get a verbal confirmation this is what they do at Pathmark

not Pathmark, Landmark Cinemas but for talking. And it's wonderful. Literally, a guy comes out and says, welcome. Like, absolutely. And zero screen policy. Doesn't matter what you're doing. Just you pulling out your phone at all in the light.

Love it. I think we need to have more respect. They do a similar thing at Alamo Draft House where after one warning, they will come to you if you pull your screen out and they say, please leave. And also. I feel like it is enforced yes and also the thing that they do sometimes

at like Alamo Draft House which I don't think is maybe enough or maybe not going about it the right way is they'll have like a funny video before the movie

which is like turn your phone off like a funny video like at the AMC like the little red things are like don't ruin the movie yeah

and it's like girl it's not a joke don't be precious I don't think it's like girl it's not a joke don't be proud don't be precious i don't think it's funny girl it's not a joke this isn't a joke me me and my boyfriend i mean we could talk about this like like i'll have to come back to talk about it but like our like plight like in life is is about noise in the movie theater and people talking and how the two of us are going to handle it like Like, we got, like, a real fight, like, with someone, a ladybird. Yeah.

Because I turned around 180 degrees to face them when they were, like, making, like, homophobic comments. No way. And, like, whatever. And I turned around and stared. And then, like, Chris knows he's not allowed to say anything because it's, like, he's too scary. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So if he says stuff, like, it's going to, like, trigger a fight. When it comes from you, it's, like, we take it seriously because we're not going to, like, buck up. Yeah, what, yeah. So if he says stuff, it's going to trigger a fight. When it comes from you, it's like we take it seriously because we're not going to buck up. Yeah, what are they going to do, right? But then when they disrespect me in response, then Chris is like, oh no, you didn't. You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he's like, then he launches into defending me. I hadn't prepared for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the thing. Anyway, yeah. Honestly.

More respect. There was one moment where sydney washington my seatmate did speak out in the middle of the play and it was when adina menzel comes down the stairs on like a great dress at the end and she goes sydney goes oh she didn't come to play with these hoes like out loud and i was like yeah that's okay fair enough but honestly this commentary fair enough and especially in that fucking audience, like just all, like I'm going to say, everything was out of the window. I'm going to say, bunch of bridge and tunnelers.

Honestly, maybe like people who feel entitled to come in because they've journeyed in and they're up in age. There you go. I mean, not, not to,

that sounds ageist or classist or whatever. if they're not acting like that, we wouldn't have reason to talk about it. It's unacceptable. Okay, great. Jacqueline, it's time for your,

I don't think so, honey. Oh no not ready i totally forgot wait what did you think we were just gonna do no no i had it and then and then i had three way hold let me just revisit okay i know um no i've panicked wait all right ground me in something just give me the topic the topic is going to the theater all right well i could do like, wait, what bothers me in acting? All right. It's too hard to explain. All right, let me think. Yeah, but oftentimes

when you think it's hard to explain, but then you find it. You get going. Almost immediately. You get going. If I were to give you this, I don't think so, honey. Goldilocks, not the story,

the person. Wait, who's the person? Like the girl? The girl. Goldilocks herself. To go negative on her I don't know if she's beloved or like I could do I don't think so honey

Gina Davis or I could do I don't think so honey Marissa Tomei oh my god that's so funny let me try Goldilocks first this is this is Jacqueline Novak's Troll Bowl,

I Don't Think So Honey topic because she's decided to go into the Troll Bowl. Yes. And this is, your topic is Goldilocks, not the story, the person.

And your time starts now. Look, Goldilocks, I don't think so honey. Okay. I'm tired of your nonsense. Okay. And I'm tired of frankly

hearing about you. Your story doesn't mean anything to me. I'm sorry of your nonsense and I'm tired of frankly hearing about you your story doesn't mean anything to me trying different things that come in different sizes that's not like deeply spiritual or like archetypal in any way that doesn't deserve to be something that's referenced

oh that's the Goldilocks theory or oh that's the Goldilocks story it's like what did you do you walked into someone's house and they weren't there wow I don't know that's shocking particularly because like they were bears right 30 seconds yes they were bears and it's like so who wouldn't be afraid to go into a bear's house like you're safer in there if the bears are outside yeah exactly like she didn't do anything courageous there's kind of something obnoxious about obviously like her trying all the beds whatever like people but like but it's generally the fact that she's 15 seconds my

problem isn't that it's not oh that she's a bitch the problem is that she thinks her story is worth telling yes it's not you didn't do

it's not it's not worth telling I don't think so honey 5 seconds I don't think so honey you're not enough to endure and that's one minute

she's told this young girl in the industry Goldilocks that she's not enough I mean that was a pretty splendid I don't think so honey hell yeah yeah you

don't do the trouble because I panic this I panic with choices okay because guess what we forced you into a choice the trouble is king no it is king and actually this is the I want my this is gonna be big for me I need more

things pushed on me like this you need like more improvising in your life yeah or just like forced no no no no one should force you to do something you don't want but Jacqueline

if you have an open invitation to send us a recorded I don't think so honey at any time yes and we'll use it as our segment which is voicemail oh you bitch

which we're always looking for anyway but what about Goldilocks it won't be replaced right no no no no Goldilocks is here to stay because I actually thought I said what I wanted to say no what about Goldilocks? It won't be replaced, right? No, no, no, no, no. Goldilocks is here to stay. Because I actually thought I said what I wanted to say. No, you did. Goldilocks is canon.

You're on a thing so honey for Goldilocks is canon. I can't believe that she went in there and tried all the beds. Unbelievable. That's insane. Because guess what? You don't know who was in there. It's just. It's insane for you to do.

What is that entitlement? She thought. But she thought she was being interesting by doing it. That's what bothers me. She told someone. She just done it and gone about her life. Yeah. But that is the big story from the life.

Doesn't seem. And also it's a story that we keep telling. Is that an Aesop's fable? I don't know if it's Aesop or if it's the Brothers Grimm. Well, whoever's fable it is. It's like it's only utilized. Sorry, I'm done. But it's like it's only utilized for this like for metaphors.

But it's a meaningless metaphor. It's meaningless. It truly is. Too hot, too cold. Really what is the story at the end of it? That we like averages? Stay out of things? Whatever. It's pushing the status quo. It's pushing the middle choice. You know what you're right.

It's forcing us all towards the middle and that makes it very dangerous. This has been this is one of our more intellectual episodes. Oh we talked. we dove into culture we waded through it and I don't just mean because of the reference

to open water again spoiler alert we branched out into different topics and I'm not just saying that as a reference to the link tree no

but check out Jacqueline's link tree on her Instagram J-A-C-N-O-V J-A-C-N-O-V and also maybe a good title of that would be the link tree

link tree or we've got some other great ones do you want to promote their brand like when I haven't yet been sure J-I-C-N-O-V. J-I-C-N-O-V. And also maybe a good title of that would be the Link Tree. Link Tree. Or we've got some other great ones. No, do you want to promote their brand like when I haven't yet been sure if the tree is going to work out? The tree will work. You are originating. You are the preeminent riffer on Link in bio. Which is a lie.

Everyone will see the evidence that it's a lie. I think it's a funny thing to say around the house. Around the house. Around the house. Let's end on a song as we always do. Yeah. I want a cool rider. We're not taking this song right.

C-O-O-L-R-I-D-E-R, baby. Ooh, I'm Michelle. You will know me for more serious fare in the future I will earn many Oscar nominations and controversially never win but you know what

it's not over for Michelle it's not over we love you Michelle but it is over for this episode of the podcast bye thank you Jacqueline forever

dog this has been a forever dog production executive produced by Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram, at Forever Dog Team, and liking our page on Facebook.

I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind-the-scenes stories, crazy details, and honestly, just having a blast talking football. Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all times, from legends to our buddies to current stars. We're finally answering the age-old question,

what kind of dudes are these dudes? We're going to find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Find out, Jules, new episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Sheryl Swoops. And I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women.

And T and I have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tariqa Foster-Brasby, an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami.

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