Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - "I Don't Think So, Honey! 11" Live in San Francisco!

Episode Date: March 8, 2019

Matt and Bowen take IDTSH on the road! First stop, San Francisco. Featuring: Kaseem Bentley, Nick Sahoyah, Carla Lee, Moon Choe, Chloe Condon, Wonder Dave, Michael Foulk, Imran G, Abas Idris, Jackie Keliiaa, Ian Levy, Alexandria Love, Ryan Marchand, Allison Mick, Natasha Muse, David Ngo, Vilaska Nguyen, Nori Reed, Andrea Rose, Aviva Siegel, Nick Stargu, Irene Tu, Torio Van Grol, Mikey Walz, Sureni Weerasekera, Marcus Williams, Dara Wilson, Tony Zavala, and more! Recorded live at The Independent!---MERCH! MERCH! GET YOUR LAS CULTURISTAS MERCH!https://www.teepublic.com/stores/las-culturistasLAS CULTURISTAS HAS A PATREON! For $5/month, you get exclusive access to WEEKLY Patreon-ONLY Las Culturistas content!!https://www.patreon.com/lasculturistasSUBSCRIBE ON APPLE PODCASTS TODAY!CONNECT W/ LAS CULTURISTAS ON FACEBOOK & TWITTER for the best in "I Don't Think So, Honey" action, updates on live shows, conversations with the Las Culturistas community, and behind-the scenes photos/videos:www.facebook.com/lasculturistastwitter.com/lasculturistasLAS CULTURISTAS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST. LAS CULTURISTAS IS PRODUCED BY EMMA FOLEY.http://foreverdogproductions.com/fdpn/podcasts/las-culturistas/ Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Real Housewives of New York City are back for another bite of the Big Apple. Look who it is. Joined by elite new friends. Rebecca Minkoff. Have you ever heard of her? But things could change in a New York Minute. She had this wild night and ended up getting pregnant by some other guy. What?

You told her? Not today, Satan. Not today. The Real Housewives of New York City. All new Tuesdays at 9 on Bravo. Or stream it on City TV+. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski.

And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind-the-scenes stories, crazy details, and honestly, just having a blast talking football. Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all times, from legends to our buddies to current stars. We're finally answering the age-old question, what kind of dudes are these dudes? We're going to find out, Jules.

New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba?

Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home, and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Cheryl Swoops. And I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience

as women. And T and I have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby, an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Forever.

Dog. Look, man. Oh, I see. Wow. Bowen, look over there. Wow. FOREVER! DOG! Look Matt! Oh I see! Bowen look over there! Is that culture? Las Culturistas! Wait wait wait! We gotta!

3, 2, 1, Ding Dong! Las Culturistas calling! These are some hot mics! These are some hot mics. These are some hot mics. We can see no one's face. Wait, we have to say it right off the top. Glenn Close lost.

Was anyone waiting to go home and watch it live? Sorry, bitch. Glenn Close lost. And you know, Olivia Colman won. Olivia! Peep show star Olivia Colman won. Fleabag star Olivia

Colman won. Honestly, wait. Killing Eve star. She's not in Killing Eve. Wait, wait. Oh, that's Fiona Shaw. That's Fiona Shaw. I mix up my white women. I'm racist. You're white friends. Wait, this is so crazy. That's Fiona Shaw. I mix up my white women. I'm racist. You're right, friends. Wait, this is so crazy. This is shaking.

But you know, you said I was very, I was hurting for Glenn. I was like, oh, she's pissed. No. But you were like, don't worry. They're going to do a film. They're going to do another film of Sunset Boulevard. I said, it's now up to all of us.

We have to start fundraising on the internet. Like, what is it called? Kickstarter? We must do that. What's it called? Kickstarter? We have to get together and make sure there's money

for the Sunset Boulevard film because Glenn Close cannot pass away without an Oscar. I know. It can't happen. Like, this is crazy. But, like, maybe Glenn Close is like the Susan Lucci of...

Susan. Susan? Miss Susan Lucci. Miss Susan Lucci of... Susan. Susan? Miss Susan Lucci. Miss Susan Lucci of the Oscars. Special rule of culture number 99. Miss Susan Lucci. I think she's the Susan Lucci of the Oscars, don't you? Honestly, well, that would mean that she would win eventually, bitch. Oh, well, who's someone who's, like, never won an Emmy?

Glenn Close. It's starting to get Embarrassing for the bitch It's starting to get thick For the bitch She needs an Oscar tonight She needed one Can I ask a question Are you feeling a romantic vibe tonight

I think so What is it Who is here on a date I know a couple. Yeah? I mean, you're putting them on. You're putting one of the dates. Yes.

Okay, honestly, yes. I live for this. Yes, yes. Hi. Who just hooped and hauled over there? Hi, you guys. How are you? Is that a homosexual date?

I believe it is. Oh, my God. Okay, what number is this? What date number is this? Like a thousand. Oh. All right, come on. We care so much less.

Who's going to discover someone's body tonight? Different question. You can't, but no one's going to like outwardly say that. Yes, they will. Who feels fucking good about the 20 minutes they've spent with someone so far? I love that feeling. I love that feeling, too. When it all clicks. Oh, yeah.

When you're out with someone and you're like, okay, like, touching my hand on his hand, not a big deal, because we both know that's how it is. Like, you're the Ethan Hawke to my Julie Delpy. That's gonna happen. That's going to happen. That's culture right there.

That's culture. It's a rule of culture number 17. You're the Ethan Hawke to my Julie Delpy. I love that. Okay, can I say, when you go out on a date, are you the person who will make the physical move? Never. Never.

Never? Why? Because, and we're gonna talk about this, because I've been socialized into fucking... Welcome to college? Yeah. I've been socialized into like,

being a demure little asshole. What were you gonna say with the B syllable when you said asshole? I was just gonna fill a word and say bitch, but I don't know.

It didn't feel apt what about you are you the person who makes the physical move I'm a hoe uh-huh that's cool especially when I was younger like I would just like be like one and a half drinks in I'd be like ha ha ha and I'd like touch hands over the table and then one time someone was like, what are you doing? And I was like, uh-oh. Sorry. You ha-ha-ha'd, you Christina Aguilera'd. I was like, ha-ha, sorry. Ha-ha.

By the way, everyone always wants to know, where does ha-ha come from? Christina Aguilera. Christina Aguilera. Late 90s. When she was coming of age as a pop star, she would always never laugh, but she would say, ha ha. Yeah. Yeah, we're working on this crazy new track. Ha ha.

She didn't say look, but she was like, it's going to be cool. Ha ha. Yeah, I'm definitely working with Alicia Keys in the studio. Ha ha. We have a lot of fun.

It's like they have no fun. They have no fun together. They've never had fun together once in their life. One of them went to Columbia and the other one didn't. But wait, can we say it is culture that Alicia Keys slayed the Grammys?

Yeah, she was good. That's culture. That's culture. I mean, it was a little bit like stunty when she brought out all the women, but you know, it was cool. I don't know. I mean, it was a little bit like stunty when she brought out all the women, but you know, it was cool. I don't know. I mean, I gotta find something to... You gotta find something to be a bitch about. Yeah, that's actually rule of culture

number 12. You gotta find something to be a bitch about. Oh my god, wait, we gotta talk about this moment at the Oscars that just happened. I don't know if you guys saw, but Barbra Streisand wore a beret and came on stage and talked about a fellow beret

wearer, Spike Lee. Yes. That was the whole connection. Usually the presenters present for a reason. The beret connection was the reason here. But she comes on, she's like, I can't believe this. When I was growing up in Brooklyn and everyone was like, I can't believe this. When I was growing up in Brooklyn.

And everyone was like, woo, it makes sense. Spike and I, Spike and I were, Spike and I are from Brooklyn. Is that a good Barbara? I got 36 expressions. I know who you're being. I know who you're being.

Barbara. Oh. Oh. We would eat bread. Is this anti-Semitic? To add the vowel after bread. Bread. Bread.

I don't know. But what a fun. It's an amazing film. Sorry. I think it's been a thrilling ceremony and first of all wait I just have to have you guys gotten

to watch any of it any of it no oh my god but wait so this is what I need to get to because I am I cannot believe

people are out here coming to the show the night of the fucking Oscars give yourselves a round of applause that means so much but we're missing it too.

I will say this, and if you need us to reenact it, we will. You missed Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga with no introduction.

Walk up. Just straight up walk up from the crowd to the piano and sing Shallow and Bradley sounded crowd to the piano and sing Shallow and Bradley sounded like a person. He sounded.

He sounded. But this is what's beautiful. Bradley was flat. Gaga was a little bit sharp. And that's the relationship. Yeah. That's the beautiful. She heard that he was flat and she's like, I'm going to be sharp. Because here's the thing about heard that he was flat and she's like I'm gonna be sharp because there

because here's the thing about Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper there could be a hundred people in the room and ninety nine are sharp

but one is flat and that was Bradley and that was Bradley for me that night yeah I mean well

the crazy moment is like they did like an iconic cheek to cheek. It was crazy. And you were like, are they going to kiss? There was a serious possibility they could kiss. And, you know, she just called off her engagement. Chilled the room. To this like Batman villain looking CAA agent

who I'm like, what? Lady Gaga's fucking crazy. Stop. No, she is because it's like, here's the thing. Shut up. You love Gaga, but she's crazy and even you can admit it. I know she's crazy.

Here's what I'm saying. All I know she's crazy okay but where are you going here's what I'm saying all I know is she got engaged like what three weeks ago and now okay a month and a half ago and now all of a sudden the news story is they broke it off no big deal

no big drama here yeah except they were gonna get fucking married and now they're not that's the drama big drama here. Yeah, except that we're going to get fucking married. Yeah. And now they're not. That's the drama. That to me is drama.

Yeah. If that happens to your friend, it's not drama? If our two friends over there on the thousandth date break up, that's drama. They were going to get married. They had to get permission from their great aunt or whatever. That's drama for me. I would

marry my agent. You would marry your agent? Yeah. We share the same agent. They're two women. They're two women. They are two women. One of them happily married. With children. Just for the infrastructure of it?

Yeah. I would do it. That's you, bitch. I'm different. I want the fairy tale. I do. Oh my god. I want someone to meet me in public and sweep me off my feet and we get married in Disney World.

Uh-huh. You gotta have your Disney World marriage. I'm kidding. I think we need to find an anchor in the crowd. Don't you? So basically, you guys, this is the fourth stop on our Pacific Northwest leg

of this tour that I don't think so many live tours. San Francisco, famously the Pacific Northwest. Is it not? It's not The I Don't Think So Honey live tour? San Francisco, famously the Pacific Northwest. Is it not? It's not. I wouldn't say so. Wait, can I ask a question? Oh, no.

Who listens to the podcast Last Culture Recess? Well. Now, out of you listeners, whose impression of me is that I'm dumb? Don't answer that. Thank you so much. Yeah. You are someone who is that I'm dumb. Don't answer that. Thank you so much. Yeah. You are someone who is, I truly believe,

I think Matt is one of the smartest people I know. He is so smart that he can get away with being so stupid. Just pure, pure. Get away with it. Yeah. Pure lobotomy gay. Truly. What was your question?

Oh, you don't have a question. That was the question. I was just, no, what I was saying was this is, you know, the fourth stop of our first leg of our tour. And in every show, we've actually found someone

in the crowd to kind of be a part of it. When we were in Portland, It was Grandpa Jim. Grandpa Jim. He was the grandfather of one of the people in the show. And he had many opinions.

In Seattle. So we kind of went the other way with it. Yeah. Right? Her name was Liz. She was 18 years old. She got a 32 on her ACT. We were so happy for her.

31. And she was like, anytime you guys reference something in the 90s on the podcast, I'm like, I asked my mom if that actually happened and she says yes. We were like,

do you know what Clueless is? Do you know the movie Clueless? She was like, I think I saw it. Yeah, I think so. I saw it in an Iggy Azalea video. God, I'm so worried. I'm so worried for the youth.

Are you concerned that you're old? We are. That's just like fact. No. Yeah. No, no. I don't know. I honestly didn't know what Post Malone was.

Pat and Kat talk about that all the time, but I didn't know either. I was like, what the fuck is that? Yeah, what's your take on Post Malone, now that you know? What's my take on Post Malone? People want to fuck Post Malone? This is crazy to me.

Yeah. What? Not even just... Okay, wait, we gotta... Not just because of the face tattoos. House lights up. House lights up. House lights up. House lights up.

Who wanted to fuck Post Malone? You guys wanted to fuck Post Malone? Okay, talk us through this. Why, why, why? Okay, well... Well, we found... By the way, we found our person. It's you, bitch.

It's you. Okay, here's the deal. Face tattooers? Hot. No. No. They're permanent. That's what deal. Face tattoos are hot. No. No. They're permanent. That's what they are.

They're hot. He's got barbed wire. He's also, like, funny and, like, ironic. Uh-huh. He's mask culture. He's what? Mask culture. He's mask culture.

Did you say he's mask culture or mask culture? Wait, what's the distinction? Mask, M-A-S-C. And then what's the other one? Mass. Like for everyone. Mass culture. You think that being mass culture is hot?

Yeah. Just because something is for everyone does not mean it's hot. I would give you a Jonah Hill Hot You would fuck Jonah Hill? Oh my god You can die on that hill High five bitch Here's the thing

If Post Malone Look looked the way he looked and was a woman, we would... Get him! Get him, Bowen! Get him! We would shoot her at dawn. We would shoot her at dawn. She wouldn't survive.

She wouldn't survive past dawn. So true. And that is mask culture, and that is mask culture. There you go. I mean, okay, what's your name? Jack. Jack. Jack, congratulations.

You're one of the stars of the show. Jack. We love you, Jack. We're going to check back in with Jack. And what's your friend's name? Erica. Erica? Okay, great. So we're going to check back in with Jack. And what's your friend's name? Erica. Erica? Erica. Okay, great.

So we're going to check back in with Jack and Erica throughout the show after each group goes up. And I just want to check in one more time. Are you sure no one is on like a first or second date? Yeah. Okay, if you're on a first or second date, both of you make the same noise on the count of three. One, two, three.

Oh! Oh! Wait, who is this? Who went, uh, uh? A coquettish howl. Who was that? Can we just say, okay, so they're going to figure it out. Before we get into the show, let's just say this is the Oscars edition of I Don't Think So Honey.

This is going to come out actually this Friday on the podcast. It's going to come out pretty soon. Just some current events. We don't know what won Best Picture. Can anyone let us know? Oh my God. You just saw our faces live, right? Oh my god.

You just saw our faces live, right? I leaned back. I mean, I didn't see it, but... Fuck. That sucks. There was one Green Book apologist backstage. We'll let you guess which one it was. Just kidding.

She liked it. Oh, I revealed her gender. Okay. But, I mean, who knows? Wow, that sucks. You know what? It's a great movie to bring home to your immigrant parents. Like, it's terms they'll understand.

That's culture. That's mass culture. Wait, can I say... No, Green Book... It's in rule of culture number four. Green Book is mass culture and therefore hot. Wait, at least it's better than Bohemian Rhapsody.

Yeah, I'm actually... I mean, I'll give Peter fairly an Oscar over Brian. You know? Yeah. Would he have gotten a trophy? No, he wouldn't have. They took his name off of it. You're not not rewarding his work. Oh my god, yeah.

Wait, is A Star is Born bad? Just because it's the fourth time doesn't mean it's bad. Sometimes it takes people four times to figure it out. That was like maybe a sex joke. Oh my God. I liked Stars Born. I cried many times seeing it.

I saw it four times in the first three days it was out. But I think that's just because I'm, like, debilitatingly gay. Yeah, you do lose motor function when you talk about... Gay things. Gay things. When you were like, oh, my God.

This is such a good impression of me. Wait. This is so good, Bo. Hagrid's Crazy Ride is reportedly the most highly themed coaster in all of Orlando. So,

this is not about a gay thing. It's a pretty gay thing. But thank you for teeing me up for Theme Park Talk. We'll get it right out of the way, and then we'll get into it. I'm just going to get it out right out of the way, because you set me up only for that reason. Hagrid's Magical Creatures Motorbike Adventure is coming to Universal Studios Studios Islands of Adventure on June 14th. I hear there's a part in the ride where you shit your pants.

And you wave a wand and it disappears like in the olden days. I'm just saying it's going to be a fabulous attraction and I will be there when it opens. Now, I don't know, Bowen, I've like found myself digging through the trill bowl. Does that mean we should start the show? I think that mean we should start the show?

I think it means we should start the show! Alright, so, here's what we're going to do. This show is called I Don't Think So Honey Live. And I Don't Think So Honey is a one-minute rant of any topic of your choosing. Something that is really getting your goat pushing your buttons. You fucking hate it.

And you want to scream about it. And you want to scream about it. And you want to scream about it for one minute while repeating the phrase I don't think so honey. Yeah, so our participants tonight have two options. They can either come up

to the stage with a pre-prepared I don't think so honey topic and rant about that for 60 seconds or they can dive into the troll bowl which is right here.

It is full of topics, pop culture topics that would be, I would say, difficult to go negative on. Yes, yes. What are some past examples? Oh, Oprah Winfrey. Oprah Winfrey, Princess Diana. John Benet Ramsey.

We have no taste. A lot of dead people. It's not safe in here. No, no, no. This is not for the faint of heart, although it is always very funny. Always very fun for people to go. They have to in here. No, no, no. This is not for the faint of heart, although it is always very funny. Always very fun for people to go. They have to go negative on it no matter what. They can't find some little work

around and talk around. Like one time when I pulled out Sandra Oh for Bowen and he was like, why don't you act more? Doesn't count. Doesn't count. Fuck you. No, yeah. An acceptable critique in an I Don't Think So Honey would have been, why the fuck were you married to Alexander Payne?

Exactly. There you go. Fuck you, drag girl. We're going to edit that out because I never want her to listen to anything negative I have to say about her. And that's the problem here. And that's the problem. But we're going to each exemplify each scenario.

So I will go up first. So Bowen Yang is about to exemplify a pre-prepared I Don't Think So Honey topic. Everyone give it up for Bowen Yang. Great. Bowen Yang, I have one minute on the clock. Yeah. Your I Don't Think So Honey time starts now. I Don't Think So Honey rice queens.

Gay people drought who fetishize asian men get a fucking hobby okay i'm clocking you from afar with your great wall pics on tinder with your fucking rooney kenshin paraphernalia that you're, that is sort of what? Like framing your face? That you're festooning yourself with in your fucking room? 30 seconds. I mean, look, like if you are Rice Queen,

I'm sorry, but like please look into my eyes and not be freaked the fuck out when you realize that I have a personality. 15 seconds. We all do. You dehumanize us by thinking that we're just little, and I'll say it again, demure little

bitches and assholes. Please project an actual personality onto me, not the one that you would like, because maybe I want to stick it in you sometime. And that's one minute. It's actually rule of culture number six. Maybe

Bowen Yang wants to stick it in you sometime. So that's a pre-selected one. Most of the time, no, but sometimes, yes. Sometimes. That was really off the cuff. I didn't realize I was doing a pre-selected one until moments ago. Well, we talked about it hours ago.

Well, hours are moments. So that was a pre-selected. I don't think so. Hours are moments. It's real culture number 14. Hours are moments. And now to simplify a troll bowl draws, my friend Matt Rogers. Give it up for Matt Rogers.

Okay, Matt. Matt has no idea what's in this i usually make the trouble and i am entrusted with that task okay um matt rogers your i don't think so honey trouble topic is the trans pop icon kim petras and your time starts now. I don't think so, honey, Kim Petras. I don't know how fucking good you sound live. You shouldn't be fucking with Dr. Lou.

It's fucked up. You know what? A lot of people are talented out here. Find one of them. Kim Petras. Heart to break? Mine. You've broken my heart, Kim Petras, heart to break? Mine. You've broken my heart, Kim Petras.

Do you guys know who Kim Petras is? Guess what, Kim Petras, a lot of people didn't make noise just now. Kim Petras,

you know who doesn't know who the fuck you are? Catherine Cohen. Kim Petras, you are? Catherine Cohen. Kim Petras, you are not that tall. Kim Petras, you sound amazing live, but

not perfect. My singers need to sound perfect. My singers need to be Kelly Gorshin. Kim Petras, you are not Kelly Gorsuch. And because of that, I don't think so, honey. You can suck my asshole.

And that's one minute. Yeah, you did it. You laid in for her. Well done. I love that you didn't go, like, jingoist or anything. You were like, go back to Germany. I didn't go what? Whatever. Jingoist? Is that what you just fucking said no go back i said jingoist does anyone know what the fuck that is fuck you did i did i use that correctly is the

question so he was using the word jejun for so long. I was like, what the fuck is jejun? It's a great word. It's another word for basic. It's like, you're being jejun. It's fun. It'll catch on. It's funny that I didn't, it's funny that I didn't know the non-basic word for basic.

And that's, isn't that beautiful? It's manifold. Now, are we ready to see some more performers do some I Don't think so love that please

I just want to say I love Kim Petras I love Kim Petras so much don't walk it back try to break don't walk it back alright everyone

please give it up for your first group what are they called now we gotta make up a name on the spot they are called the thundercloud the thundercloud

everyone please give a round of applause for Nori Ri give it up for Nick Sahoya for Carla The Thundercloud. Everyone, please give a round of applause for Nori Reed. Give it up for Nick Sahoya. For Carla Lee. Give it up for Hayley Pekin. And for Michael Foote.

This is the wrong word. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City are back. I love that. I love that. Oh, my gosh. Welcome. And last season's drama was just the tip of the iceberg. You're recording us? I am disgusted.

Never in a million years after everything we've been through did I think that you would reach out to our sworn enemy. We were friends. How could you do this to me? I don't trust her. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Wednesdays at 9 on Bravo or stream it on City TV+. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, a five-year-old boy floated alone in the ocean. He had lost his mother trying to reach Florida from Cuba. He looked like a little angel. I mean, you look so fresh.

And his name, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere. Elian Gonzalez. Elian Gonzalez. Elian. Elian. Elian Gonzalez. At the heart of the story is a young boy and the question of who he belongs with. His father in Cuba.

Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or his father in Cuba. Mr. González wanted to go home, and he wanted to take his son with him. Or his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. At the heart of it all is still this painful family separation. Something that as a Cuban, I know all too well. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, as part of the My Cultura podcast network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. Guess what, folks? We're teammates again. And we're going to welcome you guys all to Dudes on Dudes. I'm a dude, you're a dude, and Dudes on Dudes. I'm a dude. You're a dude.

And Dudes on Dudes is our brand new show. We're going to highlight players, peers, guys that we played against, legends from the past. And we're just going to sit here and talk about them. And we'll get into the types of dudes. What kind of types of dudes are there, Grunks? We got studs, wizards. We got freaks.

Or dudes, dude. We got dogs. Dogs. We'll break down their games. We'll share some insider stories and determine what kind of dude each of these dudes are. Is Randy Moss a stud or a freak? Is Tom Brady a dog or a dudes dude? We're going to find out Jules.

New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to dudes on dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Cheryl Swoops, WNBA champ, three-time Olympian, and basketball Hall of Famer. I'm a mom and I'm a woman. I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby, journalist, sports reporter, basketball analyst, a wife, and I'm also a woman. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. See, athlete or not, we all know it takes a lot as women to be at the top of our game. We want to share those stories about balancing work and relationships, motherhood, career shifts, you know, just all the we go through because no matter who you are,

there are levels to what we experience as women and TNI. Well, we have no problem going there. Listen to levels to this with Cheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby and I Heart Women's Sports Production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the I Heart Radio app, Apples, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Oh my God. First up to the stage. Hi. Look at everyone. Can we talk about this group? Can we talk about this tableau? Give it up for this group. Fashions and looks. They were told to turn looks and look, they understood the assignment. Please welcome to the microphone, Nori Reid!

Hi, Nori. Hello, Bowen. Hi. Thank you for keeping us on. Of course. Okay, Nori, you have two options. You can do pre-selected or you can do troll bowl. Have you decided which one you should do? I thought about troll bowl because I'm super fun.

Mm-hmm. We love that. I prepared something. Okay. This is Nori's I Don't Think So Honey and her time starts Reads I Don't Think So Honey and her time starts now I don't think so honey Sufjan Stevens

first of all what even is your first name honey did your parents name you while eating hot soup turns out your name was actually Arabic cultural appropriation much

you are a basic cis white straight male Christian. I don't think so, honey. Speaking of, what that dick look like, Sufjan? Is it widening girth like Jesus' outstretched arms? 30 seconds.

Is it water free like a chicken you raise on your farm, honey? When you come, do you scream, all things go? I don't think so, honey. So I heard you're famously reclusive. 20 seconds. Who do you think you are, honey? When you come, do you scream all things go? I don't think so, honey. So I heard you're famously reclusive. 20 seconds.

Who do you think you are, honey? Beyonce? No one would pick you out of a crowd of one, honey. You look exactly like my friend Chad, who makes Excel sheets at LinkedIn, honey. And why is your straight Christian ass the soundtrack of Call Me By Your Name?

What do you know about gay love, honey? Also, I'd love to be called by your name, Soup John, but I'm not sure I'm pronouncing it right. Nori Reed! Nori Reed! Put the smack down on Soup John! Wow, you know... Oh, say it again.

Say it again. You say it again. I mean, when I get fucked, I say, All things go. all things go. All things go. You can't say. Not all things. That would hurt. That would hurt. Alright, everyone, give it up for Nick

Zahoya! Oh my god, Nick. Hello, Nick. Hello, hello. Pleasure. It's our pleasure, really, and we have a question for you. So it's a pre-selected and then there's a perfectly good troll poll up here. You know, I feel like

you want me to take out of the troll poll. I don't want anything from you except for you to be happy. I wanted to talk about how it was stupid that Lady Gaga lost to Glenn Close and that Olivia Colman just threw my whole bit out the window. We're doing the troll poll. We're doing the troll poll!

I'll pick for you. I'll pick for you. I'll pick for you. You go stand over there so you can be surprised. You take position. Wow. Oh my gosh, my hands are so full of troll.

I'm picking out of this bowl and here's what it says. It says, okay, Nick, your troll bowl, I don't think so honey topic, is

Big Little Lies. And your time starts now is Big Little Lies. And your time starts now. Big Little Lies. I do not think so, honey. Big Little Lies. How can you have diversity when you just have five different types of white people?

I know Zoe Kravitz is there. I don't care. It's disproportionate. My boss is kind of racist and stupid and he loves that show. It's his favorite show, so I do not think so, honey. Yes, it's good that moms have something to watch when they're home drinking white wine. But I do not think so, honey.

Dave D. Kelly, you wrote Lake Placid. We did not forget. We did not forget about the time there was weirdly just two crocodiles didn't play into any part of the movie except for hey

there's two crocodiles 15 seconds you thought there was one and also David E. Kelly Dancing Baby you just took it from the 90s I know you were

in it at the time but you stole that shit David E. Kelly I do not think so but honey oh my god Nick Nick you've given us Kelly. I do not think so. Five seconds. Oh my god. Nick, you've given us new information I did not know

David E. Kelly wrote like plastic. I would say rewatch it, but it's not even like a fun bad movie. Oh my god. Wait, you know who looked like a crocodile tonight? Emma Stone. Oh. No comment. No, beautiful crocodile. Beautiful. No comment. No, beautiful crocodile.

Beautiful crocodile. Beautiful. She knows she looks like a crocodile. She picked out her outfit. She looks like a gator at the Grand Floridian. Yes, honey. Oh.

Eating kids. Oh, tasteless. Tasteless, tasteless. Please give it up for Carla Lee! Wow, I mean, can we give it up for this Lee. Oh, wow. I mean, can we give it up for this sweater? Hello.

Yes, yes. It's a good sweater. It's a good sweater. Hi, Carla. Hi. Hi. So we have two options for you. Of course, I'm sure you have a beautiful mind

full of beautiful pre-prepared topics, but there's also this beautiful bowl. I don't know. I've got one I've been waiting to get off my chest for a while. Okay, I hear it. It's pre-selected. This is Carly's I Don't Think So Honey. Her time starts now.

I don't think so, honey, baby corn. What are you and why are you? You never see a white woman named India selling you at a farmer's market, playing out on a table with a square reader ready to take your cash and tell you where it was sourced from because you weren't sourced. You were grown in an engineered stock and plucked before you could even grow silks.

You can't even twirl off into your silky destiny and become a grown-ass corn. I don't think so. 30 seconds. You are the veal calf of vegetables. It is inhumane. It is unnatural.

Baby corn didn't ask to be here. Baby corn didn't ask to be born. 15 seconds. You make me feel like I'm anti-choice, which makes me hate you even more. Somewhere some deranged ass vegan scientist like bit into an adult porn and was like

i want this cop to be soft who wants a soft cop nobody i don't think so honey baby corn and we actually have a new rule of culture. We have a rule of culture number 73. Baby corn didn't ask to be here. Baby corn didn't ask to be here. I mean. Baby corn didn't ask to be here. That's a rule.

Okay, now please give it up for Hayley Beacon. Hayley Beacon. Hayley. Hayley with the love. Hayley with the love. That's Hayley Beacon. Hayley has a notebook out. I think this means pre-selected, but yeah. I worked all afternoon.

Okay, perfect. We love that. We love a researched queen. And this is Hayley Beacon's I Don't Think So Honey. Our time starts now. I Don't Think So Honey non-profit organization. Oh, you want to help people? What the fuck is wrong with you?

You need help. Oh, you say trees. That's fucked up. People have allergies. You're out here to preserve manatees. Okay, these kids have cancer. Every Giving Tuesday, you're going to make me pick between cancer, kids, and the whole ocean.

Fuck you. 30 seconds. Oh, you accept a salary right below the poverty line so you can go to parties and have people say, oh my God, thank you so much

for your service. That is just, it's such important work. 15 seconds. Yeah, no problem. My rent is only a thousand external validations a month.

Five seconds. Honey, miss me with your constant best white person competition. Go get a real job. Fuck you, nonprofit organization. That was Harry Beacon.

Harry Beacon. Unbelievable. And now, please welcome to the stage our friend from New York, Michael Full. Hello, Michael. Hi, Matt. Hi, Bowen. Oh, my God. Give it up for the non-appropriative fan. I worked so hard

to find one. You did. We had a conversation about this backstage. That is merely functional. Yes, it's so neutral. Yes. Where is it from?

I don't know. Couldn't get more neutral. Couldn't get more neutral. And also, don't tell me. Don't tell us. You know what? It's better not to know. Michael, what's it going to be?

Pre-selected or troll ball? So last time I did, you know, I pre-selected and I did ghosts. Yes. And I read them. So I'm going to do troll ball, but I'm terrified. Oh, don't be scared. We're going to draw for you.

Michael, your troll ball topic is? Your troll ball topic is? Here we go, another pop star. The pop music superstar Robin. And your time starts now. I don't think so, honey, Robin. What's with the why?

What do you think, you're cute? You're like 75 years old. Spell your name like everybody else. I don't think so, honey, making perfect music all the time can you cook i don't think so honey making gay people dance can you save the world i don't think so you're no point wonder honey 30 seconds all right robin let's break it down okay I've loved your albums but they've only led me to bad choices I don't think so Robin

15 seconds leave me the fuck alone Robin I don't want to dance on my own I want to go to bed I don't think so honey and that's one

that's one minute Michael Fools take a look everyone give it up for this group the Thunder Cloud And that's one minute. One minute. Michael Fools. Make a look. Everyone give it up for this group, the Thunder Clouds. The Thunder Clouds. We have Noreen, Nick Sahoya, Karla Lee, Hailey Beacon, and Michael Fools.

Gorgeous. Wow. Wow. That was unbelievable. I loved it. And I think we have to go over to our friend over here jack what are we saying let's bring the house lights up jack jack what what what are our feelings after round one um okay absolutely obsessed with the sufjan stevens bit obsessed with the sufjan stevens

takedown there are so many soft boys we're obsessed with suf Stevens. Soft boys. And I love that. I feel seen. You feel seen. He felt seen by Sufjan being taken down. And look, like 2006 was the year of wearing kite wings

at concerts. And now it's like, you suck. You know? That's all. You know, all my straight girlfriends in high school

love Sufjan and I would love to know what they'd think of him being, like, a call-me-by-your-name-ass gay icon, like, ten years later. He's no Coach Malone. He's no Coach Malone. All right, no, stop it, stop it. Okay, just kill the lights.

I don't even think I know what Sufjan looks like. Oh, he's cute. But you know what? This is not to teeth shame anyone, because this is not necessarily a bad thing, but on him, the gap looks bad. Gap teeth. You, fuck you, bitch.

No, but on him, it looks bad. It's not chic on him. On him, it's like, ugh, clothes. You're acting like he opted into the gap. He might have. He just has a gap. No, as a kid, he kept moving them and pushing them apart. Is that how you think people get gaps?

Absolutely. As a kid, they can't help themselves? They push and they control. Bowie Yang has been very rich since a young age. No. No, no, no. And he has a movie theater in his house. That my parents bought with their hard-earned, lower-middle-class immigrant money.

So you ain't need it. So now let's welcome our next group. What are they called? This next group is called The Color Chartreuse. The Color Chartreuse. Please give it up for Chloe Condon. Please give it up for Dara M. Wilson. Dara M. Wilson.

For Alex Vandria-Live. Give it up for Hayden Grief-Neal. And give it up for Marcus Williams. Oh my God. A great group. A great group. Hello, you all. Hi, everyone.

Everyone looks very good. And the first to the mic will, in fact, be Chloe Condon. Hello, Chloe. Hello. Chloe, what's it going to be? Pre-selected or troll ball? I'm going to have to go pre-select. I understand.

Please, absolutely. We support that. We celebrate that. I have something that's really been bothering me that I need to get off my chest. Okay. This is the place for that. This is the place to do it. This is Chloe Condon's I Don't me that I need to get off my chest. This is the place for that. This is the place to do it. This is Chloe Connins'

I Don't Think So Honey and her time starts now. I don't think so honey minions. Just because the Despicable Me franchise had success doesn't mean I need to see you literally everywhere that I go. I don't think so honey minion shampoo.

I don't think so honey minions headphones at the airport. I do not think so honey elderly Asian woman who I see outside of Westfield every day. You know which one I'm talking about. By the cable car who sells despicable me Asian crocheted hats. I don't think so, honey, Minions are literally making elderly Asian people make hats of their likeness. I don't think so, honey. My mom's friends, who I'm still acquaintance with on Facebook,

who will post kind of racist, inappropriate things and then put a Minions meme. No, Renee, you are still racist, even though you use a Minions meme. I'm sorry. And I am 29. You're probably like, oh my God, this is the cutest cute bug girl. I am 29. I have a 401k. I need to figure out

I can't watch Despicable Me. I'm too old. I don't think so funny. And that's one minute. Thank you, Chloe Condon. Thank you, Chloe Condon. And up next, Dara M. Wilson. I mean,

we've just had Minions taken apart But can we just appreciate The motifs that are being Carried over from the skirt To the shoe Hello This is fashion And thank you Dara

On this Oscar Sunday Hello I was told to dress And so I dressed We said finally turn a look And so you dressed And also I mean This is a very well addressed

group all together. But listen, we're talking about you right now. And the question I have for you, Dara, is we can do trouble or we can do pre-selected. It is up to you. I'm gonna go pre-selected. Here we go. This is Dara. I don't think so, honey. And her time starts

now. I don't think so, honey. My white time starts now. I don't think so, honey, my white coworkers. I'm tired of answering your questions, and from now on, I'm charging $50 a pop. Give me my money. I don't think so, grabbing my hair and then getting mad when I grab back. I'm not happy. I'm not happy

with the juice state, so you could ask me, what's up with this Black Lives Matter thing? How come when, like, dogs have something bad happen with them, I get really upset, but when it's black people, I just don't. Yeah, I don't think so, honey. I think you need to sit with that yourself.

Because if I say because you're a racist fucking asshole, then I'm going to get fired, and that's not fair. I don't think so, honey. Oh, my God, you're wearing your hair straight now? I love it so much. Five seconds. It's a wig, and I'm never wearing it again because I'm not in the business of making white people happy.

Thank you. That's what I mean. Tara F. Wilson. Told you. Told us. So did you invite your coworkers tonight? She's cool. She's cool though.

But honestly, is she white? Okay. No, it's okay. You's cool, though. But honestly, is she white? Okay. No, it's okay. You have to be an ally, and the emotional lever is on you to explain to your fellow white coworkers what they're doing wrong. Okay, please give it up for Alexandria Love! Oh, hey!

Hey, guys. This skirt is a good skirt. Thank you so much It's a good little Geo skirt Geo Geo Geo

Geo It's actually Rural culture number one Geo Geometric First rule I'm learning so much Of this show you guys

Thank you Of course Thank you for being here And if you know the show You know that we have Two options We have the troll bowl. We have your beautiful mind

full of gorgeous pre-selected topics. My mind is not as beautiful as you would think. Let's go with the troll bowl. Who cares? Who's going to judge me? Let's do it. I'm worried. It's a lot of stuff I haven't known yet. You're going to know this. You're going to judge me. Let's do it. Okay. I'm worried. It's a lot of stuff I haven't known yet.

No, no, no, no. You're going to know this. You're going to know this. So your I don't think so honey troll bowl topic, Alexandria, is veganism. And your time starts now. I don't think so vegans. Leave plans for the rest of us motherfuckers. What?

You guys think you're so cool with your tote bags and your whole foods okay fucking vegans walking around looking just like the rest of us except they eat better i don't like that shit what vegans you're too good to eat at burger king like me okay can plants have it your way i don't like that shit. What, vegans, you're too good to eat at Burger King like me? Okay. Can plants have it your way? I don't fucking think so. I don't fucking think so.

Fucking vegans walking around with their clear skin and their fucking friends. I don't have a community for meat eaters. It's just my family. We all have diabetes. I don't think a community for meat eaters. It's just my family. We all have diabetes. I don't think so. Thank you. Five seconds.

That's one minute. That's one minute. Oh, my God. Did you love? Put down veganism. Wow. Hold on. Hold on.

We have a new rule of culture. I believe we have a rule of culture. Bowen's writing one down. Rule of culture number 14. Fucking vegans walking around with their clear skin and their friends. So good. Excellent. Excellent.

Now, please give a warm welcome to Hayden Griefneal. Hi, Hayden. Hello, Hayden. Hello. Hi. Oh, and he's adjusting it down even though he's tall. I love a man who can just adjust a mic. I can go like everywhere.

Oh. Hello. Oh. Stop I'm coming. Hayden what's it going to be? Oh we're going bowling. Oh. We love to bowl. Alright I go to the bottom to get the thickest ones. Hayden, what's it gonna be? Oh, we're going bowling. Oh!

We love the bowl. All right, I go to the bottom to get the thickest ones. Oh, I like them thick. Here we go. Physics. Oh, okay. Uh-oh. This is...

I fucked up. This is a concept, okay? You know what? I don't think so. Any troll bowl topic is queer representation. Your time starts now. Why is it that?

Go. I don't think so, honey. Getting the first straight white male on a mostly queer show talking shit about queer representation. I'm just like, how does that sex make babies huh

how are you gonna make more of you if you can't fuck a different gender and put those fucking zygos together that's not biology have you seen how a plug works 30 seconds there's an in part and an out part

and then the plug comes into the socket and you get a little lightning baby and that's how a Pokemon is born. Do you hate Pokemon? 15 seconds. If it was up to you we wouldn't even have a Detective Pikachu. And that's the bottom of that case.

Goodbye. And that's one minute. Hayden, Grace, Neil, give it up. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, wait. Now that he said that, I agree. We're done. We're bad.

Oh, my God. Hayden, give it up for Hayden for being sad about that. You did all of that. You did that. And for the art now. The art will pivot into Detective Pikachu. I did that. And for now, the art will pivot into Detective Pikachu. I love that

because you know what? If gays had their option, we wouldn't have Detective Pikachu. And that's a limitation and that is not queer. No, not at all. But for now,

please welcome Marcus Williams! In my favorite sweatshirt of the night. Thank you, thank you. Break up with him. I wish I could show that to our best friend back home right now.

Just break up with him. Just break up with him. Marcus, what's it going to be? Pre-selected or troll ball? You know, I got some shit I want to let off my chest. Please do. This is Marcus Williams. I don't think so many of his time starts now.

All right. I don't think so, fucking honey. Dating y'all gay many of his time starts now. All right. I don't think so, fucking honey, dating y'all gay-ass men in San Francisco, okay? Y'all motherfuckers is raggedy as hell, okay? I can't get a black man because there's only like seven of us, okay? And then I fucking date one, went through his phone,

turns out I was fucking all the other black men in San Francisco, okay? Can't get with y'all white-ass man because y'all ain't shit okay that's why i can't get with y'all went on four dates 30 seconds went on four dates intimate and romantic it's fucking then he fucking ghosted me all that shit did was remind me that i fucking hate white people okay freaking dumb ass shit saying dumbass shit on dates like disposable income. What the fuck is that? How the fuck does that shit work?

Do you think I just want to plant a tree and just get rich? You know that? Five seconds. I'm done. Marcus Williams. Marcus. You gays in the audience, you suck. Marcus Williams Marcus give it up for the color chartreuse

oh my god I mean just wonderful. Are you guys having fun so far? Jack, Erica, what are our thoughts? If you bring up Post Malone. Erica has thoughts. We'd love to hear them.

Throw it over to Erica. You went on a dinner date with that guy? Whoa. Wait, you went on a dinner date with that guy? Whoa. Wait, you went on a Tinder date with Hayden? I don't know if this is the place to hash this out. And I know that it is. So... He's in this space. Just keep in mind.

What happened? Strap impression? Strap impression. Strap impression? Shrek impression. Shrek impression. Even worse. It's my bad. I should never see you again

because I have to be in front of that person. You have to be in front of your story. Watch out. I'm sorry, what? We're not worried about you dating us, babe.

We're closed. You should have contacted us 13 years ago. Would have died to date someone like you. Listen, Erica, what did it do to see Hayden be tasked

with an impossible thing and shit-talk queer representation and to come out looking pretty good? I mean, that's... It's inspired. That's what I hope for all of my presentation and to come out looking pretty good i mean that that's that's i'm sorry i have to leave this and i have to draw my attention to the gorgeous straight couple in the front holding hands oh no this is this is my really good friend from high school ozzy and

oh my god you're hot as fuck and so are you stop you guys are both wearing neutrals and it is so amazing they're gorgeous they're so wonderful Ozzy's Ozzy's a a good Judy I miss Ozzy

any good Judy a Bowen can fuck me so like talk to me later don't do this if you guys get bored um

I'm so sorry too I should never have said this you guys are stunning um you're wearing the same coat wait it's Ozzy and it's um it's Sophie I'm so sorry too. I should never have said this. You guys are stunning. You're wearing the same coat. Wait. It's Ozzy and it's Sophie.

Sylvia. Sylvia. Do me a favor. Can you stand up? You're wearing the same coat. Just show up one day and you're wearing the same coat. They are in the same coat. They're in the same coat.

They're gorgeous. Oh. Oh! Yes! Straight representation. Tell me something, girl. They're in the same coat. They're in the same coat.

I love it. It's so cute. Okay. Who are you? Yeah. Hi. Hi. You're here by yourself?

We love. We love that. But if you were in the same coat as them. Yeah, I know. I just pictured you being in the same coat, and I just, I had to love. Anyway, I'm sorry I just pictured you being in the same coat and I had to love. Anyway, that was a lot for me. You guys are

gorge. We got a gorgeous front row here. Truly gorgeous. Take the lights away. Hold on. I do want to say that I said this about Vancouver the other night and I do feel this way about San Francisco too. I feel like anytime I come here it feels like the Pokemon episode

where Ash's Bulbasaur finds the village of Bulbasaurs. And I'm Ash's Bulbasaur and I'm like, oh my god. All the good ones are here. There's great ones everywhere. But you know what? The ones in New York... What do you mean by ones?

Like, the ones in New York are like what? What do you mean by ones? Like the ones in New York are like cold. What do you mean the ones? What do you mean the ones? The good ones. The ones who are like, who have their shit together. The ones in New York, I'm like, all right. What do you mean the ones? The gay Asians.

Then thank you. Just fucking say it. Because we don't know what you're talking about. We are all Charizards. White people are Charizards. Yeah. And gay and queer Asian people are Bulbasaurs who have not been given the opportunity to evolve.

And the minute you become an Ivysaur, you will be a fucking monster. Yeah. So I'm very happy at your evolutionary stage right now, bitch. Yes. Okay. Here's what's gonna happen. We're gonna have one more group up. We're gonna take a quick break. So please give it up for our next group. What are they called? They are called

Bulbasaur. Bulbasaur. Please give it up for Allison Mick. Give it up for David No. Give it up for David Ngo. Give it up for Chloe Keister. Give it up for Lance Smith-Abinante. Give it up for Aviva Segal. And give it up for Cassie Bentley. Oh, wait, wait, wait.

We got one more chair. One more chair. One more chair. Matt, give it up for Matt Rodders, selfless, to bring one more chair for this group of six. Okay, y'all. Same height. Same height, oh yeah, same height.

Everyone, please give a warm welcome to Allison Mick! Guys, to the microphone. Allison. Oh my gosh. A fellow Bulbastore. Hi, Allison. Hi, everybody. Well, we're so happy to have you here,

and we want to know, do you want to do a boop-boop trouble or a boop-boop preselective? Matt's really prepping it. Gotta say fuck it to the bucket. I got some stuff I gotta talk about. Oh, yeah. Beautiful way of putting it.

Allison Mick. Her I don't think so many times starts now. I don't think so, honey. Red carpets? Gonna say it. It's just a bunch of rich people standing around on a carpet that looks a different color than a bunch of other carpets that you've

already seen. I don't think so, honey. Who are you wearing? Who fucking cares? You're a beautiful actress. You look amazing in everything. It does not matter. And I don't think so, honey, to the white

women wearing the beige flesh-colored outfits. You look like just a pile of discarded foreskins. Not a fan. And I don't think so, honey. It's a low bar for men on the red carpet. It's a low bar for every man who is not Billy Porter.

Exactly. Billy Porter. Thank God for Pose, because otherwise I would have no one to look at on the red carpet. These fucking straight men get around. They're all like, oh, I'm Benedict Cumberbatch. In Britain, we call them series. And fuck you. And he wears like

a midnight blue jacket and everyone's like oh he tried. I don't think so honey red carpet's funny. And that's what's in Allison Mick. Allison Mick

and I think she just gave us another rule of culture. It's rule of culture number 30 Benedict Cumberstache. I had Cabbage Head Cabbage Munch in my notes and did not say it. It was harder to say.

It also works for him as a name. Also works for him. There's a lot of words that are harder to say than his real name. There you go. Alston Mick, everybody. And now please give a warm welcome to David No.

Hello, David. Hello, David. You can do a pre-selected topic. You can do the trouble. What's it going to be? I'll do pre-select. Okay. This is David Ngo's I Don't Think So Honey, and his time starts now.

I Don't Think So honey, the tech industry. My job is in marketing. I'm supposed to make your technology sound sexy and profitable, but guess what, engineers? You're so boring. The things you say to me are so dry that I can feel the moisture leaving my skin. I don't think so, honey.

Tech bro culture. Why do you laud Elon Musk like you want to suck his dick? He sent a car playing David Bowie out into space. That is not a genius innovator. That is a fuckboy with money. And guess what?

The only reason he did that was because he wanted an alien to come down and fuck him. And the closest he got was grind. I don't think so, honey. The gorgeous gay man who's leaving my workplace. Who else am I supposed to stare at? My computer screen

with a blank Word document that I'm supposed to fill out? No. I'm a 23, young and vibrant. And I get an offer from a sugar daddy literally every other week. I don't think so. David Ngo!

David Ngo, everybody. He was able to work in grimes. He was able to work in grimes. Call her an alien. Call her an alien. She is an alien to me. Please give it up for Chloe Keister! Chloe!

Chloe, what's it going to be? Pre-selected To me. Please give it up for Chloe Keister. Chloe. Chloe. Chloe, what's going to be preselected or trollable? Give me that TB. Give me that TB. Hopefully not tuberculosis. Tuberculosis. Get vaccinated, y'all. Oh.

Okay, so a film nominated for many Oscars tonight. Oh, no, I didn't watch it. It's okay. The film, and your troll bowl, I don't think so any topic, is Roma. Oh. And your time starts now.

I don't think so, honey. Roma? What, you just want to be sad for several hours? Okay, I lied. I watched like 40 minutes of it, but then I was just so sad, I couldn't keep watching it. Also, black and white?

I get it, you're deep, whatever. I don't think so honey did anybody like Roma? 30 seconds you're lying to yourself 30 seconds oh you like human suffering? you sick fuck

oh gross that poor woman why did they do that to a fictional woman? 15 seconds god I don't think so honey but it did help me with my spanish so i think so a little bit honey you know i have, I have this thought about Roma. I think

Roma is the way that I have sex nowadays. You want to know why? Tell me, bitch. Because I know that I should leave my apartment and experience it with other people, but I know it's on the computer and I just take care of it at home.

Yes! You should go do it out in the theater. But you do it in your bed on a Sunday at 11.15 AM. On a laptop. Everyone, please give it up for Len Smith-Avenante!

Hi, Len! Giving us tone on tone with the hat and the shirt. I love that. So talk to me. Are we doing a troll bowl? There's lots of good stuff in here. Or are we doing a pre-slide to topic? I'm going to do a PST. PST. Thank you so much.

Pacific Standard Time. Good job. This is Lance Smith Abenante's I Don't Think So Honey. His time starts now. I don't think so, honey. His time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Cheetos, hot puffs. Half of the time I go to, look, listen, I'm a hot Cheetos original guy, okay? Surest, yeah.

Half the time, because the packaging isn't quite right, they're very similar. 30 seconds. I will grab the puffs. I'll get home and I'll realize I got the puffs again. And

now I feel dumb. Now I feel bad. That's on you, Chester Cheetah. 15 seconds. I see you looking at me with your little smug grin and you're tipping your glasses. You just tricked me into buying a Cheetos byproduct. Five seconds. It's not even...

Anyway, I don't like Puffs Plus either. Lotion doesn't need to be in tissues. I'm done. And that's one minute, Lamb and Smith Avenante. No thank you, fucking Cheetos Puffs. No thank you, Puffs. You're all air.

And please welcome to the mic, Aviva Segal. Aviva. I love the look, Aviva. I love the look. Hello, Aviva. Thank you. How are you doing tonight? I'm great., Aviva. I love the look. I love Aviva. Thank you. How are you doing tonight?

I'm great. I'm excited. So good. And let me tell you, are you so good that you want to pick the troll bowl? Or are you so good that you want to do a pre-prepared topic? I kind of wish I was, but I have something I really want to talk about. I get it. I get it, Aviva.

We got it. This is Aviva Seagulls. I don't think so, honey. Our time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Our time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Snowmen. Let's talk about snowmen for a minute. Yeah, like what?

You just magically come into our lives and then melt on a hot winter's day? Like, I don't think so, honey. I don't think so. Also, it's a perfectly, like, it's like a waste of a perfectly good hat and scarf. That's what I'm saying. Like, you know who could probably make better use

of that hat and scarf in the wintertime? Like a homeless person. Like that. Probably better. You know who could use that carrot that's, like, used as a pointy nose? Also probably a homeless person. Like, they who could use that carrot that's, like, used as a pointy nose? Also, probably a homeless person. Like, they could also use that carrot.

And, like, the coal on a snowman. Like, what, some poor guy got black lung just to make two eyes on a pile of snow? Like, I don't think so, honey. Five seconds. And also, what about snow women? Like, I'm just saying that snowmen are the epitome of white men dominating a field that women couldn't be dominating. Thank you, guys. Viva!

Viva! Viva! Viva! Viva! And now to close out our first half, please welcome to the microphone, Kasim Badly! Yeah! Kasim with the... Hey, what's going on? What's up, Kasim? How are you brothers doing? You guys doing all right?

We're doing so good. Very sparkly tonight, looking at? A little bit. You know, we chose to shine. I love it. Sexy Lego man over here, you know? Oh! Taurus over here.

This is nice. My look says, wow. Yeah. Like cool art teacher. Yes! Yes! Yes! LGBT art teacher.

Aren't we all? Okay, that makes sense. That makes sense. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I. Like, cool art teacher. You know what I mean? Yeah. That would be a T.R. teacher. Aren't we all? Okay,

that middle-aged man has personality. I like it. I like it. I like it. Thank you, Kasim. Yeah,

let's get into it. Let's do it. What's it going to be, pre-selected or troll porn? Man, I'm a thug, so we're going to do troll.

Oh, we're going to do troll. No fear. No fear. No fear. No fear. Okay. Wow fear okay okay good luck with this one your i don't think so any trouble topic is crazy rich asian and your time starts now. What the fuck, man? All right. All right. I don't think so, honey.

Crazy rich Asians. Look, I didn't see it. All right? But I know crazy rich Asians. All right? I live near Daly City. I know what's going on. You know what I'm saying?

Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. Here's the thing about it. I'm tired of white people coming up to me telling me I should go see it right there. Especially when you work at a non-profit. Did you see Crazy Rich Asians? Did you see it? I'm trying to make a burrito, motherfucker.

You know what I mean? And I know it's important to have these movies because it's Asian people's time. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's your time. Look, half your time. It's like there, you know what I'm saying? And you have a whole cast.

But you know what the thing that got me about the movie was that they had the whole controversy that there were no brown Asians in the movie. You know what I'm saying? Yep. Yeah. Let's get some crazy brown rich Asians. You know what I'm saying? Five seconds.

Yeah. All right. Yeah. Word up to Daily City, Union City. Bye, bye, bye, bye. You know what I mean? All right. And that's one minute.

Yes. Cassine Bailey, everybody. Give it up for the Pulpisars. Allison Mick, David Ngo, Chloe Keister, Lance with Apenate, Aviva Siegel,

and Cassine Bailey. All right. Before we go, we are going to go to Jack one more time. Yes, yes. And Jack and to Jack one more time. Yes. Jack and Erica. Jack and Erica.

What? We need the lights. All right. So Jack and Erica, did you guys see Crazy Rich Asians? Yes. Ally! Oh, all right.

Let's pump the brakes. Pump the brakes on that. Ally, it's actually a rule of culture. Allies should always scream ally. It's actually a rule of culture. Allies should always scream allies. It's rule of culture number 20.

Allies should always scream allies. Jack, Erica, thank you so much for seeing it, for supporting that film. If you guys are all allies to us,

please enjoy this quick intermission. Ten minutes tops. Go grab a drink at the bar. Go meet... Please be honest with your date and how it's. Go grab a drink at the bar. Go meet... Please be honest with your date how it's going. Yeah, go meet each other. Go meet each other. We'll be back here in ten minutes. Jodi, hit the music!

I feel that Bohemian Rhapsody was... Wait, who was that? Wait, wait. Hi, we see you again. What was your noise about? I'm so tired.

I know. Is it tired because talking about it sucks because the movie's bad? Or is it tired because of the criticism and you want me to shut up? Both. Both? That's fair. Let me say, I asked the question because I get it.

Oh. It's tiring. Okay. What a great first half. I can't wait to see what the second half brings. What other roles of culture we'll learn. I mean, come on. Come on. Okay, are we ready for this next half?

Are we ready? What's this first group called? This first group is called Bohemian Rhapsody Sucks and This Is My Show, Bitch. Please welcome Abbas Iqbal. Please welcome Imran G.

Please welcome Ian Levy Jackie Kalia And please welcome Wonder Dave This is a good group Hi everybody And the first to the mic would be In fact, Abbas Idris

Hi Abbas Idris! Hi, Abbas. Good. You look really good. You do. Okay, what's it going to be? Pre-selected or trollable? Pre-selected.

Okay, this is awesome. Pre-selected, because I don't think so, honey. And his time starts... He does not have it ready. His time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Fake addictions. What? Yeah.

Hold on. You're addicted to gelato? Is that a thing? Is that a thing? Really? Do you go to Gelato Anonymous? Have you ever had to suck dick for gelato? Has that ever happened?

It's not a real addiction. Let me tell you something. I have a real addiction, and then I have a fake addiction. They're both concerns of mine. I'm addicted to Ambien and white women. And I'm getting medical attention for the first thing, and I stay out of food for the second thing. Seriously, I watch Farrakhan videos on YouTube

to unwind my whiteness. You know what I mean? I'm serious, though. Fake addictions, there are real addictions out there. Let's stop talking about fake addictions. You're addicted to coffee? Is that a real thing? 50 seconds. That's not a real thing. That's what I'm just saying. It's real addictions out there. Let's stop talking about fake addictions. You're addicted to coffee? Is that a real thing? 15 seconds. That's not a real thing.

That's what I'm saying. It's like really tough. People are really addicted to stuff and we're talking about nonsense. It's just nonsense. Until you suck dick for gelato, I don't want to hear about it. Five seconds. Sorry. What was it? I'm sorry. Five. Five. Four. I have nothing else. Thank you.

Thank you. I'm awesome. Until you five, four, I have nothing else. Thank you. Thank you. I love the budget! I'm awesome, Chris. Yeah? Until you suck dick for gelato, I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear about it. That's such a rule of culture number 29. Until you suck dick for gelato, I don't want to hear it. Please welcome to the stage, Amron G!

Hi. Hi, how you guys doing? It's a cute jacket. It's a cute look. Thank you. Very adorable, very varsity. Love it. Thank you.

What's it going to be, pre-selected or troll bowling? Probably pre-selected. Probably. It's going to be pre-selected. I'm going to die on this hill alone. Okay. Ooh, here we go. Preface.

This is Imranji's I Don't Think So Any As Time Starts Now. I don't think so, honey. Wiping your ass only with toilet paper. Alright? I am sorry, but if you do not use water, you are fucking disgusting. Alright?

I have a bidet in my house. They're on Amazon for $30, by the way. Alright? And every time somebody comes over, they're like, ugh, you got a nozzle in your toilet? It fucking shoots water at your butt? That's nasty. And I'm like, how?

Alright? We literally use water to solve all sorts of problems. We use water to get smudges off our glasses. We use water to get dirt off of the sidewalk. We use water to get smudges off our glasses. We use water to get dirt off of the sidewalk. We use water to get protesters out of the streets. You know what I mean?

It's crazy to me. All I'm saying is this. They're cheap. Buy them. I don't think so, honey. That's one minute You know I love a good day You love a good day

And it's true The difference between a clean wet asshole And a clean just dry asshole You know one is clean And one is not And we all know that's true On a molecular level You can really get in there and clean it

With some wetness. Oh, Jesus Christ. Please welcome to the microphone Ian Levy! Hi, Ian. Hey, how's it going? Hey, Ian.

Good, it's good. We're going good. So basically, we have your show bowl, okay? And then we have, you know, the pre-selected option,

but it's up to you, truly. I'm going to go pre-selected option. But it's up to you, truly. I'm going to go pre-select. There we go. I haven't known who some of the people are. Do pre-select it. I think that's your instinct. Stop bullying me.

Stop! Stop! I'm a person too. He's a person. You're fucking mean. It's fine. This is Ian Levy's I Don't Think So Honey, his time starts now.

I don't think so, honey. Veggie tales. Okay? Veggie tales is the worst thing Christianity has ever done. And that includes when the Vatican was on the wrong side of World War II. That's a real thing. Look at the moon.

I grew up a vegetarian who was not allowed to watch TV. So I thought a TV show about vegetables was the height of entertainment. I didn't know it was tricking me into going to church. You can't use TV to trick children. Children will watch anything. I used to watch Digimon. Do you know what Digimon is?

Digimon is just Pokemon dressed up like a two-bit whore. What kind of TV is that? Wrong. What kind of TV show is about vegetables that you're supposed to not eat to get you to join a religion where you eat a wafer that is flesh?

Tell me what you said. My Jewish ancestors taught me you get rid of the extra flesh and don't eat it. Okay? Wow. Yes, Ian. And for that little morsel of history,

the Pope sided with Mussolini. Wow. Oh, my God. And that's why you need Bowen Yang. And that's why you need me. Please welcome to the stage, Jackie Kalia! Hey, Jackie!

Hello! Okay, we talked to you backstage during intermission. There was a little bit of internal debate about whether you were doing Trouble or Preselected. What have we landed on? Hey, Jackie! Oh, hi! Hi! I think I'm going to go with Preselected.

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What's your heart and what your heart knows? And your heart knows. This is Jackie Kalia, as I don't think so, honey. Your time starts now. I don't think so, honey. People who shit on millennials.

Ah. They're lazy. They don't work. They need to sit or stand on a special ball when they work. They have no work ethic. Shut the fuck up. Do you know how many jobs that we have to have to live in the fucking

Bay Area? My generation ex-co-worker was like, Jackie, you're in your 30s. Why do you have a housemate? 30 seconds. Bitch, have you seen how expensive it is to live in the Bay Area? We don't

buy houses. Our generation buys an RV, and we live on a street mission. That's how we afford this shit, okay? You guys don't realize Gen Xers and Boomers, y'all are the white people of generations, okay? You don't realize how much fucking privilege you got, all right? So last time I checked, get it together. I don't think so, honey. Fuck y'all.

And the winner, Jackie Galia! Wow. I mean, let this be a call to action to read. One second, one second, Wonder Dame. No, go. No, no, no.

Jackie, did you read that BuzzFeed article about millennial burnout? Oh my God. Chilled me to my core. You texted me and said, read this. I think about it, and did you? I read most of it.

It ends on a slightly hopeful note, but truly, I mean, guys, we're fucked. There's no happy, there's no, like, happy ending to any of it. We're all so... God, we've been dealt such a bad hand it's good for the comedy show

tell them they're gonna die sad keep telling them they're gonna die sad but you know what it's like therapy it's like you have an awareness of your parameters and that makes it better there you go please welcome to the microphone Wander Day

hey I have a confession for Ian really quick Please welcome to the microphone Wonder Day! Hey, I have a confession for Ian really quick. I used to be a mascot professionally and one of the characters I was was Larry the Cucumber from VeggieTales. Oh my god. Yeah, you sound like him. I do. Did you have to do his voice?

No, you don't talk when you're in mascot. No, of course. It's a big role note. Yeah, you idiot. Yeah. Oh, and also, technically, if I still had the job, I would have had to say that I was Larry the Cucumber's best friend.

You're not allowed to say, I am this person. Wait, okay, wait. I actually heard this is true. So I have a friend who's a mascot in a Universal Studios. She's Olive Oil, and whenever she takes a picture of herself, she has to say Olive Oil had a lot of fun today. She can never say, I had a lot of fun today. She can never say I had a lot of fun today.

Yeah, that's true. That is chilling. It's real weird. Oh no. It chills me. Okay, well I hope people are enriched by this background that we've been given.

Wonder Dave, is it going to be pre-selected or trollable? Pre-selected. This is Wonder Dave's I Don't Think So Honey as time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Straight guys who seem gay. Thank you. Who are you for? What are you doing?

If you have a tight-fitted floral shirt and a Marc Jacobs attache and you don't want a dick in your ass, get out! There's the door! You're not helping anybody with this little routine you're leading me on. You walk up to me at a party and I

think you're flirting and you're like, oh, let me go get my partner and I'm like, threesome? And then you bring a woman and I'm like, do I have to eat pussy to get dick again? Seriously? I will. I'm a very fun person. But I'm very tight. And also, you

called her your partner. No. Partner is not your word, straight people. The word partner is now exclusively for, like, two old gay guys who are both fucking the pool boy and don't want to get married. That's the word partner now.

I'm not even attracted to you straight guys who seem gay. I like gay guys who seem like murdery truck drivers. I don't think so, honey. Yes. Wonder Dave. Thank you, Wonder Dave. This was Bohemian Rhapsody sucks. And this is my show, bitch.

I'm a boss, Indra. I'm a boss, Jay. Ian Leffy. Jackie. Kalia. And Wonder Day. Beautiful. Okay, let's throw it over to our two commentators, Erica and Jack.

Erica and Jack. Great. So, what do you think? I'm a little sad about the mascots. Why are you sad about the mascots? I don't know. I feel like it's weird. It makes me sad.

Okay, I previously had to be a mascot for like one internship in college. Well, that's why you're sad. And now I'm sad about it because it just reminded me about it. Okay. What was the saddest part about being a mascot? So I don't know if you all can see the poopy box trolls.

No. But I did have to dress up as a box troll. What's a box troll dress like? It's a box. And this small child crawled inside the costume. But the woman who was my handler, who was also my boss, got distracted on a call

from an agent or something. And so then I just had a child in my costume and it was very distressing. Okay. Okay. That sounds hard. Imagine being able to tell back the story he just told. That was beautiful.

That had a lot of texture to it. The call wasn't just any call. It was a call that was with her agent or whatever. There was an agent involved and like... And it was box trolls. Box trolls. She was an aspiring filmmaker. Yeah. She was a documentarian.

It was stressful for all of us. Oh. We know this. Yeah, I mean, documentarians are, you know, a type. Yeah. You know what movie sucks? Bohemian Rhapsody. Anyway, next group up.

Next group up. And this group is called... Box Troll Bitch. Box Troll Bitch. Give it up for Nathan Follett. Give it up for Danielle Mitty. Danielle Mitty. For Tony Zavala.

It's Zavala. Zavala. It's Zavala. Fun Koala. Like, so Zavala. Don't even do this. Okay. For Serena, we were at Sikara. Yes! And finally for Mikey Walls. Mikey!

Give it up for Mikey, everybody! Yay! Yes, this group is here. Come on. Give it up for fucking Mikey Walls for this fucking group. Here we go. Alright. This group is called we're like a box troll bitch.

Box troll bitch. Singular. Please welcome to the microphone at this time, Nathan Follins. Hi. Hey. How are you? I'm good. Great.

We're good. Nathan, what's it going to be, pre-selected or troll bowl? You go pre-selected. Okay. This is Nathan Collins. I don't think so, honey. Because time starts now. All right.

I'm sorry, honey, but I do not like you. Audition acceptance speeches. Or acceptance speeches in general. Oh. Sorry, that took me a little while. No, yes, yes. Go on. It's great. Time started.

30 seconds. Let's do this thing. Acceptance speeches are a lot like taxes. And then famous people are surprisingly terrible at doing them. Acceptance speeches. They shouldn't be bad either. There's no reason to be bad. And they're so surprised, right?

They're so shocked. It's like they just won the lottery. Only the lottery only had five tickets they were giving away. 30 seconds. These speeches are so terrible. I mean, you're making me tell me just one best writer could string together 30 sentences saying thank you to five people, two of which are mom and dad. No excuses. 15.

15 seconds. All right. And the notes are terrible, too. If you bring your notes on stage, which I probably should have done today. Five seconds.

Good luck. The notes will be shade. Anyways, I'd like to thank the Academy and all the fans. And that's it. Thank you very much.

And give it up for Nathan Farn! Wait. That was actually And that's it. Give it up for Nathan Farn! Wait, that was actually really meta. Alright, okay. Yeah. You want to go into it? Because he said, I don't think so many bad acceptance speeches and he was

it began with him being like so it was like overwhelmed and he started. But then the threads connected when it was like overwhelmed and he started but then the threads connected when he was like I should have brought notes which is debatable

I actually I think what we've seen what we've seen right here is art art give it up Nathan Fallon now please

welcome to the microphone Daniella Middy Daniella he's wearing a floral polo hello guys hello hi how you doing? Let's keep everything above board

Gay, straight, in between, what's the deal? Can you guess? Well, we don't know after Wonder Days I don't think so Danielle, what's it going to be? I love that you're gay Pre-select control I'm going to go with pre-select

I'm fairly angry about something specific. I'm fairly angry about something specific. Ignore this. This is Daniel Amides. I don't think so. When his time starts now. Oh, I don't think so, honey. People that hold the door for it can't even say thank you.

Right? Right? Oh, my God. One thing. You just expect me to hold your dick while you're pissing. That's what's happening. What kind of fucking entitled asshole are you? Did you work in tech?

Sorry, entire audience. Including myself. It's fine. I don't know. Honestly, not saying thank you when somebody's holding the door for you is like grabbing the last slice of pizza without saying thank you. You know I wanted it.

You know I needed it. You know what I had for lunch today? Nothing. I'm gay. I had nothing today for lunch. I can't believe are you in such a rush that you can't even say two words?

Are you just on your way to save a baby from a fire? I don't think so. Even if that's the case, you have two choices. Even if you say thank you, why don't you just let that baby burn? I don't think so, honey.

Ten seconds? Five. Five seconds. Thank you. One minute. Good to see you, everybody. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. I mean, you gotta say thank you.

Now, please welcome to the microphone, Tony Zavala. Tony! Tony Zavala Tony! Tony Zavala! Like koala! Isn't it crazy? I checked with you numerous times to see how to pronounce it And did I say it right?

It's true! I did okay How do you say it? Zavala like koala Or impala Like that too Tony what's it going to be? Pre-selector or troll? Zavala. Zavala like koala. Or Impala. Impala. Like that, too. Like that.

Okay. Tony, what's it going to be? Pre-selected or troll? I'm going to do a pre-selected. Pre-selected. Everyone, this is Tony Zavala's I Don't Think So. Honey, his time starts now. I don't think so. Elliptical machines that ask me what year I was born?

What? Yes! Why? why I just want to ellipse you think you're a bouncer I don't even want to be at this club I want to be at home on my couch eating ice cream watching Arrested Development season 2 honey at this club. I want to be at home on my couch eating ice cream. Watching Arrested Development. 30 seconds.

Season 2. Honey. The last time I was putting my year in, I put in the year 1900. And you didn't even care. Nothing happened. 15. I said I was a 119-year-old

man. And you just let me do it. You didn't say, oh, you can sit this one out. Five seconds. Why? Why don't you care about me? Honey, I don't think so. And that's why I did it.

Honey, I don't think so. Beautiful, beautiful. Go, Nisbala. So invasive when they asked you that. That was amazing. Also, I just asked Bowen. I had no idea that was even a thing. Because Matt just signed up for the gym a few months ago.

And he doesn't. And look, he looks great. Please give it up for Serenity. We're a Sakerra. Hello. Hello, Serenity. What's it going to be? What was that?

Hi, Serenity. Hi. What's it going to be? What was that? Hi, Serenity. Hi. What's it going to be? Pre-selected or trouble? I'm going to pretend like I'm trying to decide. Pre-prepared. Pre-prepared. Serenity's I Don't Think So on Air.

Time starts now. Okay, you know what pisses me off? When white people breathe. I'm just kidding. Kind of. When white people wear bindis when they're not religious. White people breathe. I'm just kidding. Kind of. When white people wear bindis when they're not religious. I don't think so, honey.

What's a bindi? It's that little red dot in between your eyebrows. It has a lot of religious, cultural significance, right? But white people are always like, ooh, it makes me look spiritual. 30 seconds. It makes me look like I went to Fyre Fest. Yo, you and John Rogan go fuck yourselves, alright? The only dude from Fyre Fest

that does not need to go fucking fuck himself is that dude who walked into office and was like, I will suck a dick to save this country. 50 seconds. 50 seconds. And then white office and was like, I will suck a dick to say this. Angie King. Angie King. Angie King. And then white people

are always like, they get so fucking mad when you wear a band t-shirt to a band you don't listen to, right? Five seconds. They're always like, Iron Maiden,

Iron Maiden, that's cute. Name five songs. What if I was like, oh, a bindi, a bindi, that's cute.

Name five Hindu guys. And that's why we did it. Thank you. That was amazing. Also, we should say, And that's one minute For Seth Meyers and Cora That was amazing Also we should say It's a rule of culture His name is Andy King

It's rule of culture number 50 His name is Andy King Please give it up for this person's name Mikey Walls Hello Mikey How's it going guys? It's going good this person's name. Mikey Walsh! Hello, Mikey! How's it going, guys? It's going good. Oh, man. I should do

stairs without handrails. That's what I should. I don't know if anybody caught my Jennifer Lawrence on ketamine routine trying to get up here. She was much less graceful than you. She was much less graceful than you. She was much less graceful.

I at least didn't mean to do it. And I was gonna say. And I was gonna fucking say. Say it. But what I am gonna do is, I don't think so, honey. People who like to remind you that we need it to rain. Fuck you. I could complain about it raining if I want to.

That's my God-given right as a Californian. How am I supposed to get used to something that happens eight times a year? There are more more less rainy days than minority-owned businesses in this town. How am I supposed to get used to it? And, like I said

before, I am a slightly disabled person. Anyone here know what the trick is to walking with a cane and a prosthetic leg in the rain? Me fucking neither. I've eaten shit like ten times. My life is like the Dick Van Dyke show.

If everyone that watched the Dick Van Dyke show got really sad. Five seconds. Five seconds. But yeah, I don't think so, honey. Amateur meteorologist glib pieces of shit. Thank you. And last one, Mikey Walls.

Mikey Walls. Everybody give it up for this group of box cart, box troll bitches. Nathan Fallon, Danielle Lillian, Tony Salala, Randy Uribe-Sakara, and Mikey Walls. troll bitches. Nathan Fowler. Danielle Eleni. Tony Savalas. Randy Uyra-Sakara. And Mikey Walls.

Oh my God. That was amazing. We're going to go over to our pals, our correspondents. Hi. Hi. I missed the drought.

I agree with the last guy. You missed the drought. You missed the drought. Oh, well, okay. That's another way of saying what Mike was saying. He would rather it just not rain. Oh.

What's that? Okay, it can rain in the summer. I mean, those can intersect at the same moment. What? Can I say something to you? Every time I come to the West Coast, it rains. Wow. Do you think it's me?

What about you, Bohemian Rhapsody dude in the back? That guy hates me. That guy's one of the guys commenting on What The Tuck. Oh, stop. Everyone should know that Jule Kim Booster and Nicole Byer hosted a Drag Race podcast, yes, called What the Tuck.

They were both too busy and successful doing other things. Matt Rodgers is the rightful host. I am the rightful host. Matt Rodgers is the rightful host. It is now hosted by Matt Rodgers and Manuela Gapione. And I am sure I'm going to be too busy and successful

very soon. Oh, yes. To do it. But hey, like and subscribe. I could really fucking use it. There's some real gross people out there and Matt doesn't deserve it. And I mean that very earnestly. Stop. Okay. It's not funny. Be mean to me.

Are we ready for our last group of the night, y'all? I don't know. Stop! This is gonna be the last group of the night. It's I Don't Think So Honey's last group of the night, and this group is gonna be called Oh, Glenn. Oh, Glenn.

Everyone, please give it up for Irene 2! Give it up for Velasca Nguyen! Give it up for Irene 2. Give it up for Velasco and Nguyen. Give it up for Torrio Van Groen. Give it up for Ryan Martian. And for Moon Cho. Irene, Velasco, Torrio, Ryan, and Moon.

This is O. Glenn. And first up to the mic is Irene 2. What's up, Irene? Irene, you just hosted your own Oscar show, didn't you? I did. I just hosted the Oscars. None of you guys were there. It was at the Balboa Theater.

How did that go? It was great. I just did stuff during commercial break. So I gave away a lot of free stuff. And what was the feeling in general about the Oscars tonight? I think people liked it and people were surprised

by who won Best Picture. Yeah. Because it was a bad movie. I didn't watch it yet. Yeah, me neither, but I don't need to. Irene, we have a troll bowl here and we have, of of course I'm sure

a topic that is just amazing well I was preparing things to give away so I didn't have a topic that I loved enough to go with so I'm going to go with the troll bowl I hope I know what it is

I'm like just afraid you're gonna you have the right to skip if you don't know what the topic is but you will definitely know what this is you're gonna know what this is because your I don't think so honey topic Irene is therapy and your time starts

now I don't think so, honey. Therapy. I've never done it. Actually, that's a lie. I just remembered I had to go in high school because my mom said it was mandated and I think she lied to me.

I don't think so, honey, mom. No, she made me go and I don't do therapy because therapy means you have to want to participate, and I don't like talking to people. So we would just play games in silence and pay her a lot of money. And the only thing my mom hates more than me not talking is wasting money. So I was like, no, we're not doing this anymore. She loves a good deal.

I don't know. I just, I don't we're not doing this anymore. She loves a good deal. I don't know. I just, I don't think it's a funny therapy at all. I think we should just have more friends and talk to our friends instead of strangers that we pay. I don't know. Honestly, controversial, but I just feel like I would rather pay my friend to talk to than just some random lady that I don't know.

So I don't think it's a honey therapy. Don't tell me to go. I don't know. I mean, you know, just a clean, crisp troll bowl draw. And she did it. She said, this is my opinion on this. And here you go. And fuck you.

Maybe it's confidential. Parents. Parents. Okay. Well, I think it's time to keep going. It's time for Velasco West! Velasco! How you doing? Doing great. Okay.

Cool. And here's the thing. We're doing fucking awesome. And we want to know, are we plunging into this trouble here? I have a lifelong rant that I want to share with you. A lifelong rant? You only get one minute. Up until this moment.

Your entire life has led up to this moment. Yes. Okay, so this is Velasco Wins. I don't think so, honey, and his time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Nice white lady who insists on pronouncing my last name Nguyen.

Spelled N-G-U-Y-E-N and pronounced Nguyen because Vietnamese is a monosyllabic language. One syllable per word. I don't give a fuck that you got a Vietnamese friend that says Nguyen too. I don't think so, honey. First off, Phuong Anh ain't your friend. 30 seconds.

She's a sadly nodding agreement so that she can maximize her tip when she gets done with your names. She's a fictional character! How would you like if I was like this? Becky, how do you pronounce your last name 15 how's this felt SMI th Oh anus you don't like that you can keep call me

Nugent and I'll keep calling you a fucking asshole so honey all right you can take that to the bay and if if Bong-Kwon was your friend, she would say, you pronounce it with one syllable per word like, fuck you. And that's one minute! The last away! The last away! Oh, my God.

Beautiful. Everyone, please welcome to this Indeed mic in the center of the stage, Toria Van Graal! Welcome to the mic in the center of the stage. Thanks for having me. That is where you are right now. In the center?

Yeah. It feels like the middle. Oh, I saw you. I think you're right. We have two options. We have, of course, the troll bowl. We have a pre-selected option for you. Yeah, I'm going to do the troll bowl.

Oh. Let me get this one. Oh, okay. Got it. No, not that one. It's this one. Oh, no. Yuck.

Topical for tonight. Good luck to you, bitch. All right. This troll bowl, I don't think so honey topic is Black Panther. Your time starts now. Finally. Am I started? Yes.

Oh, please. I don't think so, honey. Black Panther. It's just another shitty Marvel movie. I'm supposed to care because it's a bunch of black people this time? It's just the same tropes over and over again.

I don't think so, honey. Black Panther. It's you. Come on. Am I wrong about this? Captain America and Black Panther, they're both annoying. Plus, not to be this guy.

But he dies in the second movie he's in. That's not even that good. Superman has been in how many movies? 20, 30 movies? Black Panther made it to movie two and he's already dead? And you're supposed to be proud about that? I don't think so, honey!

I can feel people tightening up, and that's fair. And that is fair, because it was a big deal for some most people. Five seconds. I just think, Black Panther, honey, I don't like it because, uh, I don't know. I was a Green Book fan. I don't think so.

Oh my god! And that's one minute given for Toram and Troll. Oh, my God. It's actually rule of culture number 92. I was a Green Book fan. And, you know, the only thing you can level against Black Panther, are you ready for it? People might push it on this.

It's basically, beat for beat, it's Lion King. Right? Sort of. I, well, I guess. I mean. They cut out the lesbians. Oh, right.

From Lion King to Black Panther. It's Hamlet. It's beautiful. We love the bard. Okay. I would say my criticism of Black Panther

would be too long. But that's like every movie. That's every movie. Every single movie is too long except Isn't It Romantic

starring Bowen Yen. No, no, no, no. That movie should have been longer. Yeah except Isn't It Romantic starring Bowen Yen. No, no, no, no. That movie should have been longer. Yeah, Isn't It Romantic is, in that way, a better film than Black Panther. Wow. Should we welcome our next person to the mic? Yeah, I guess. I'm getting drunk.

I chilled the room just now by saying that. I'm like, should we welcome our next person to the mic? Let now by saying that. I'm like, say welcome. Let's please do that. Please give it up for the one, the only, Ryan Marchand! Ryan. Hi. Hi. Oh my God, Ryan, this look, we love it.

You told us. We told you. We said turn a look. And you abide it. Exactly. Exactly. Now, listen, turn a look and you abide it. Exactly. Exactly. Now, listen, Ryan, we have this bowl here. Pre-selected. Okay. Thank you.

Thank you. This is Ryan Marchal. I don't think somebody has time starts now. Alright, so, I don't think so, honey, work because having a job, like, ruined my outfit tonight. They told us to turn a look tonight and I was, like like happy to oblige and I was like yes I'm going to do it and then I remembered because I was stuck in a toxic job for so long that I gained about

30 to 40 pounds over the past year just binge eating Chinese takeout at 1.30am trying to stave off the coming of the next day. It didn't really work. So I decided tonight I'm serving you Reno gas station t-shirt muumuu realness.

30 seconds! 30! And for those of you who can't read it, it's got a grumpy bunny lady that says, I don't do mornings. Which I think is doubly unfortunate because she just got a new job. And all these people are coming to me saying weird things to me, like, congratulations, like, the fuck, what? I don't think so, honey, congratulations about what? It's a fucking job. And like, oh my god, the odd slot of all of my white girlfriends being like, how is it? Like, it's a job, I don't

fucking like it, you know, and it's funny because all my black and brown girlfriends are like, girl, how is it? But all the white girls are like, we should get a salad at lunchtime. And I'm like, sure, we could. But I think really it's just I'm just really pissed

that I'm not a socialite. And that's one minute! Right! I'm pissed that I'm not a socialite too. Yeah. And we have a new rule of culture, honestly. It's rule of culture number 25. Reno Gas Station Moo Moo

Realness. Can you read? No, I can't read. I can't read. I just can't read this fucking chicken scratch that you have. What is that? It's fucking it would have been a doctor if he had followed through on that school. And doctors

have shitty handwriting. All of them. And it fits. Okay, are we ready for our final I don't think so. I love that his humble brag was that he would have been a doctor had he followed through. Yeah, absolutely. Please give it up for Moon Cho!

Moon Cho! Hi, Moon. Hi. So, Moon. Hi. Hi. So here we go. You are our final, I don't think so, one of the night.

So we have a troll bowl here. We have pre-selected, I'm sure. What are you going to do? I'm going to go pre-selected. There you go. This is Moon Chug. I don't think so many

of our friends start. No! All right. I just wanted to be the brave one and finally speak out against the thing that no one has the courage to fucking talk about. Uh-huh.

I don't fucking think so, honey. Babies. Fucking babies. You can't even fucking keep shit out of your own vaginas. I don't fucking think so, honey. No. People did not even want you and they have to keep you. No man, no man

has ever given me that kind of credit. I don't think so, honey. Oh my God. You have to change your whole life for these things. It doesn't fucking make sense. I'm just going to baby-proof my whole house. I'm just going to baby-proof my whole body. Invest in an IUD.

Fucking, oh, you ever watch the fucking baby trying to stick a fucking square thing in a fucking circle thing forever? For as long as they take. Oh, and they're in their fucking strollers all the time taking up real estate on the sidewalks. They don't fucking need to be there. Their legs are fucking sticking out of the strollers.

Fucking get some real parents. I don't think so. And that's why we're here. Moon Chao, everyone. And Moon Chao has offered us another rule of culture. It's rule of culture number 18. Babies, you can't even keep shit fucking out of your own vagina fucking

wow I need to give it up for this final group y'all what do they call the ad oh Glenn Irene too Velasca Wynn Toria Ben-Gurl Ryan Marchand and Moon Cho San Francisco and Moon Chow!

San Francisco. We want to say thank you guys all so much for coming out tonight. Thank you so much for spending your Sunday with us. Let's check in one last time with Jack and Erica. Overall thoughts on the whole show? 10 out of 10. Amazing. Come back again.

Oh, wow. What a nice... 10 out of 10. Come back again oh wow what a nice 10 out of 10 come back again that's what they said slay we love slay we love true gay people guys

in honor of in honor of Jack and Erica on the count of three can we all scream allies together one two

three allies my name is Bowen Yeh! My name is Matt Rogers. Thank you so much. Bye! Forever Dog.

This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit forever dog podcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest forever dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at forever dog team and liking our page on Facebook.

I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind-the-scenes stories, crazy details, and honestly, just having a blast talking football. Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all times, from legends to our buddies to current stars. We're finally answering the age-old question,

what kind of dudes are these dudes? We're going to find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Thanksgiving Day 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home, and he wanted to take his son with him.

Or stay with his relatives in Miami? Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Sheryl Swoops. And I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women. And T and I have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby,

an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. I was a desperate delusional dreamer. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer.

Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one.