Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - "I Don't Think So, Honey! 6" (Part One)

Episode Date: August 8, 2018

The 6th installment of "I Don't Think So, Honey!" Live is here! 50 comedians take one minute each to go off on culture. Part One featuring Greta Titelman, Myka Fox, Patti Harrison, Amy Zimmer, Rosebud Baker, Kevin Allison, Desmond Thorne, Josh Gondelman, Julio Torres, Catherine Cohen, Rebecca Vigil, Zach Zimmerman, Peter Valenti, Kathleen Armenti, Steven Polletta, Akilah Hughes, Rebecca O'Neal, Wanjiko Eke, Eva Victor, Matt Bellassai, Tommy Pico, Fran Tirado, Joseph Osmundson, Dennis Norris II, and Las Culturistas Icon Award Winner Pat Regan.Recorded Live at The Bell House in Brooklyn, NY---LAS CULTURISTAS HAS A PATREON! For $5/month, you get exclusive access to WEEKLY Patreon-ONLY Las Culturistas content!!https://www.patreon.com/lasculturistasSUBSCRIBE ON APPLE PODCASTS TODAY!CONNECT W/ LAS CULTURISTAS ON FACEBOOK & TWITTER for the best in "I Don't Think So, Honey" action, updates on live shows, conversations with the Las Culturistas community, and behind-the scenes photos/videos:www.facebook.com/lasculturistastwitter.com/lasculturistasLAS CULTURISTAS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASTforeverdogpodcasts.com/las-culturistas  Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Real Housewives of New York City are back for another bite of the Big Apple. Look who it is. Joined by elite new friends. Rebecca Minkoff. Have you ever heard of her? But things could change in a New York Minute. She had this wild night and ended up getting pregnant by some other guy. What?

You told her? Not today, Satan. Not today. The Real Housewives of New York City. All new Tuesdays at 9 on Bravo. Or stream it on City TV+. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski.

And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind-the-scenes stories, crazy details, and honestly, just having a blast talking football. Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all times, from legends to our buddies to current stars. We're finally answering the age-old question, what kind of dudes are these dudes? We're going to find out, Jules.

New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba?

Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home, and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. podcasts. I was a desperate delusional dreamer. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. Forever. Dog.

Look, man. Where? Oh, I see. Wow. Bowen, look over there. Wow, is that culture? Yes. Oh, my see. Wow. Oh, my. Bowen, look over there. Wow. Is that culture? Yes. Oh, my goodness.

Wow. Las Culturistas. Wow. Ah! How we doing tonight, Bell House? All right? Yes! Okay.

Okay. Oh, I guess we should say ding dong, Las Colteristas calling. Oh my God. Hi guys, thank you for coming to I Don't Think So Honey Live. My name is Matt Rogers. My name is Bowen Yang. You know what?

I'm leaving. No. I'm fucking leaving. Who here listens to the podcast by chance? Short amount of applause. Great. Very nice. Who here does not?

They just came out to the bell house. Yes, honey. Well done. You let the girl who doesn't listen to the podcast get the best seat? Kill this woman! Oh, my God. Wow. Well, we're Las Culturistas

Usually we're just a very low concept Pop culture podcast Very unstructured, very loose People either feel like They're listening in at a conversation At a party but that conversation is like Stupid It's stupid

Yeah We call ourselves Culturistas I don't like watch Game of Thrones. You know what I mean? Like there's like a lot of blind spots. I haven't seen The Sound of Music. Yeah, that's crazy. But like, but at this point,

Matt is like actively not watch, like does, will not watch it as, just as a to prove a point. Bitch, isn't it famously long? It goes by like this, and... Is that true? The back hour, the back half is really thrilling. They're escaping Austria.

It's really cool. I went through a lot of my life not knowing that was about Nazis. And also, you know the play Cabaret? The play? Didn't know that was about Nazis, too, until I was seeing it. And let me tell you something, it gets very dark in the second half.

Oh, my God. Shockingly so. Wow. We lose people in that musical. We do. You're surprised? What's been going on? We don't have any banter prepared This is like as blind as we're going into something

It's been a very busy month for us We were in LA, Los Angeles Or the City of Angels City goes by three names That was very fun. We came here. RuPaul's Drag Race season finale last night. We have a winner.

Who's happy with the results? Who's happy? Great. Who did you want? Asia. We talked to Asia on the phone today. She... We really did.

We really did. That's true. She's the best. So good. She That's true. She's the best. She's the best. She's doing great. Except, like, she killed, like, 40 butterflies. No, but here's the thing. She's doing so good, except, like, insecticide.

For those of you who don't know, which we buy off the shelf, for those of you who don't know, this drag queen last night at the RuPaul's Drag Race finale tried to do this reveal with butterflies and they all came out either disobedient or dead and everyone's like up in arms about her killing all these butterflies

but it's like bitch bugs are not animals also bitch they're not animals like physically like taxonomically not animals I said if you've eaten one hamburger in your life and you're upset about those butterflies Unfortunately, physically, like taxonomically, not animals. I said, if you've eaten one hamburger in your life and you're upset about those butterflies, you can go fuck yourself. Like if you're upset about bugs dying, go like fucking protest to the rain.

Yeah. Like it's not, it's not a tenable. The rain is not a bug's friend. That's so true, Beau. So, Beau. But we did do our little costume reveals to, I guess, give a nod to the many reveals we've seen in Drag Race this season. So you guys loved it. You guys loved it.

You guys loved that. We loved that. What else? What else? What else? Guys, we're tapped. We are. I just took a 45-minute lift here, and it was, I almost got sick in the car.

Do you guys get sick in cars? Hell yeah, queen! Go off! Like we said, no prepared bits. No prepared bits. Oh, this is something. Oh, go. I bought a toy.

Oh. And I thought I was being reasonable with the dimensions of it. And honey, that girth is too girthy. Girl, you have to be specific. Not everyone knows. He bought a toy that you put up your butt for sex. And first of all, this is not a full-fledged I don't think so, honey,

but sex shop workers, you would think would not have to be aloof. You would think that they would just be like... This is not a respectability politicking about sex shop, sex shop workers, but like I, I came across some cold retail. They weren't late. They weren't communicative.

She was like this, this, this lady was like, um, uh, so, uh, yeah,

just make sure you wash with soap and water, especially if you transfer between partners. I was like, yeah, just make sure you wash with soap and water, especially if you transfer between partners. I was like, yeah, I know. Also, it's not going between partners, honey. I have a monogamous relationship with my fucking toys. Anyway. It's Pride Month. I don't know if you guys know this,

but I wrote a little bit of a Pride anthem. Oh my God. He did, he did. Should I do it? Okay. Okay. Everyone, let's set a beat. Here we go.

Imagine trying to look like Fierce when I trip over the fucking wire. Okay, Marry on Bread. What are we doing? Okay, so this is based on a real text thread that I have between all my friends trying to make plans for Pride, okay? So we're all gonna create the music, hi Mindy, together.

Everyone like cooperate with me here, ready? Wait, hold on, is someone filming this? Okay. Okay. Alright. Here we go. Ready? Yeah.

Get all gay in your foot. Here we go. Be a bitch to your friends. Be a bitch to your closest friends. This pride alienate all your closest friends by being a bitch to them. Hey, hey, shake your bitchy ass. Hey, hey, shake your bitchy face. Hey, hey, shake your bitchy ass. Hey, hey, shake your bitchy face. Hey, hey, shake your bitchy dick.

Hey, hey, shake it all around. Hey, hey, be a bitch to your closest friends this pride. Very good. That's it. That's it. You know, Matt, Matt is famous. Matt, I think Matt sort of imprimaters that he is a neat,

he's a seasonal comedian. He does a solo show that's about Christmas that he can only do in December. He does, he writes songs that can only be sung in June, like that one. But I think that's good. You know who I'm texting with about it? Jinx Monsoon.

Jinx loves it. Winner of season five of RuPaul's Drag Race who loves it and says we're going to get in the studio Oh, yeah. In just one year. So That's how the biz works. Guys, who's ready for some I Don't Think So Honeys? in just one year. That's how the biz works.

Guys, who's ready for some I Don't Think So, honeys? So, so fun. Unfortunately, we usually bring a guest on. Usually it's Annette Bening, played by Peter Smith. Peter Smith is playing Peter Pan upstate, so they cannot be with us tonight. Our guest book work. Our guests book work

and we don't. And we do not. Decidedly not. And I believe famous comedian who doesn't book, Pat Regan, just shouted yes

from backstage. She's shouting yes. As a show. Famous comedian with no credits or projects. As a show of solidarity. Okay, so we're gonna do some I Don't Think So Honeys.

And I Don't Think So Honey is a one minute allotment of time to go off on something that is getting your goat in culture, right? How do you define it? Yeah, something you don't like in pop culture, something that makes you say,

oh bitch, if only I had a stage. Yeah. I would scream about that thing, honey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And this is actually 50 comedians' opportunity to really do just that. And who's been to i don't think so honey before i don't think so any lie awesome all right so we're actually gonna demo a couple i don't think so honeys for you now before we do let's explain the options of your

i don't think so honey so you can either come in with a pre-prepared topic that you've decided you have to rant about yes and take the stage and do your thing, or, honey? You can pick from the Troll Bowl, which we've written, yes. Give it up for the Troll Bowl. Yes. The Troll Bowl, these are beloved pop culture topics that would be very hard to talk shit about, but you must. So some past examples have included Julie Andrews,

Princess Diana, Robert Mueller. Beloved figures. Yeah, beloved figures. And you have to go negative on them. It's taking a long time. Some of the draws are devastating. In LA, you'll listen. We're going to release that episode soon.

As a demo, I got Sandra Oh as mine. Tragic. So, it's the hardest moment of my life. But now we're gonna switch it up. So, we're gonna demo both. I'll do a pre-selected one. Matt's gonna do a troll bowl pick. Oh, bitch.

We'll sound good. Matt, do you have a clock ready? I am gonna get the clock ready. Everyone, please welcome Bowen Yang to the mic. Great. Bowen Yang to the mic. Great. Bowen Yang, you have a pre-selected I Don't Think So Honey topic, yes? I do, yes.

Excellent. Okay, Bowen Yang, your I Don't Think So Honey time starts now. I Don't Think So Honey tattoos, bitch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If I wanted to have metallic liquid to have little bits of chromium and lead and titanium oxide injected in my skin,

I would go find a robot to fuck me up the ass raw. Look. Tattoos. I'm not going to go down to some parlor on Bowery and give my money to some Nazi sympathizer named Topaz who was radicalized by Kat Von D. 30 seconds. Look, everyone's like, oh, they're so symbolic.

No, if you want symbolism, go read East of Eden. If you want symbolism, if you need a tattoo of an oak tree on your clavicle to remind you that you contain multitudes, no, you're too obvious. 15 seconds. You know what that makes you? A human acrostic poem, honey.

So I don't think so. Even if you have ironic tattoos of like a bowl of fucking soup on you, I hope you struggle soon. I don't think so many people who have tattoos, we get it. You studied abroad. And that's one minute! We get it, Topaz. You studied abroad.

Topaz. That can't be your Christian name. That can't be your government name. Jesus. Okay, so that is a pre-selected. I don't think so, honey. Had some little zingers written in there. That was amazing.

You guys feeling revved up by that? Now let's welcome... Who has tattoos? Guess you're wrong. No, no, no. Just kidding. I love tattoos. I just don't know what I would get on myself.

Everyone, please give it up for Matt Rogers. Matt Rogers, you are picking from the troll bowl. Is that correct? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm very anxious about this. Okay. Matt Rogers. Sorry in advance. Sorry in advance.

Sorry in advance. Matt Rogers, your Trouble pick is diversity. Matt Rogers, I don't think so, honey. His time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Diversity, because now we know what it is. So, like, now we have to, like, do something about it. Like, what I mean by that is, like, we shouldn't have to fix it. It should already be fixed.

From the beginning of time, honey. It should already have been diverse. You look at this lineup. It is diverse. And nobody had to tell us to. No one had to tell us to diversify our shit. It just was, you motherfucker. All you white people who didn't get it before,

fuck you. You should have been diverse from the beginning. I don't think so, honey, diversity. The word is too long. I like short words like gum. I like short words like bug. I don't think so, honey. Diversity.

Is it just diversity? Just diversity. I don't think so, honey. Diversity. You rhyme with adversity, and I don't see adversity. I only see success. And that's one minute. Give it up for Matt Rogers, everyone.

Wow. Bitch, I don't think so many diversity. Give it the fuck up. Thanks. So there you go. That was a tough one, Matt. That was tough. How do you feel?

You did not tell me you put diversity in the bowl. I did. You said you put diversity in film. I don't know how that's different. I needed to broaden the scope of diversity. Wow. As a concept. As a concept.

Didn't have to be ethnic. Didn't have to be gendered or sexual or anything. That's true. It could have been biological diversity like plant life. Absolutely. I got a three on AP Environmental Science. And some of my girls that were in that class with me are here tonight. Stand up, ladies.

They definitely won't stand up. Wow. I got a three on that. Yeah, three. Not good. Three for like a fallback science. Fuck you, bitch. Not everyone was like, ooh, almost a doctor.

Yeah, I was almost a doctor. Did you know he was almost a doctor? Almost. Didn't do it. Fan to the pod. Great. Guys, who's ready for some more I Don't Think So Honeys?

That's great. And of course, when we say guys, it's not gender no no get mad at him get mad at him guys is shorthand for ladies and gentlemen and embies wow he's really

sinking in front of everyone and he was almost a doctor you guys everyone please welcome our first group this first group is called Maren Morris please welcome our first group. This first group is called Maren Morris. Please welcome Greta Teitelman. Please welcome Micah Fox. Patty Harrison.

Yes. Please welcome Amy Zimmer. And finally, is she here? Rosebud Baker. All right, you motherfuckers. Greta Teitelman, to the mic with you. Greta. Thank you so much.

Thank you. Greta. Thank you. Thank you. Is it going to be preselected or troll ball? You know, I thought of a really good preselected back there just now. But I'm going to stick to my guns. Oh. This is my fourth time. Fourth time doing this. Fourth timer. good pre-selected back there just now. But I'm going to stick to my guns.

This is my fourth time. Fourth time doing this. And fourth time's the ball, babe. Fourth time's the ball. But wait, here's the question. What if I don't know it? We'll move on. Well, let's see.

We've set a precedent in the past for if the person doesn't know, we'll move on. I have it in my hands and you do know it. Oh my God, I'm literally, I'm peeing. This is topical, hon. What is it?

Your topic is, I don't think so, honey, Cynthia Nixon. And your time starts now. I don't think so, honey, Cynthia Nixon running for fucking governor, bitch. I don't think so. You're an actress. You are my number one woman on Sex and the City and that is who you stay

you do not get to become a politician you do not get to become a human you are simply Miranda and all that I care about is seeing you

fuck that lowly bartender and living in a gorgeous brownstone in Brooklyn, bitch. 30 seconds. I want to see you serve hypebeast looks all over Brooklynites. I want to know I love that now you are happy with your wife. That is beautiful.

But that's all I need to know. Okay? 15 seconds. I want to just watch you raise Brady. I want to watch you run in the winter to Carrie when she's sad. I want to watch you get shit all over by the fact that you're desexualized by your friends. But most importantly, I don't think so, honey, Cynthia Nixon, because no one identifies with you. That's one minute.

Who can identify with Cynthia Nixon? Gratititlement, everyone. And now welcome. Some salient points. Salient points. Welcome to the mic, Micah Fox. Micah Fox. Looking like a fox. Micah, look at this look.

Loving the look. Thank you. What do we think? Troll bowling it or pre-selecting it? I have to pre-select. You gotta. This is Micah Fox's I don't think so, honey. Her time starts now. I don't think so, eels. or pre-selecting it? I have to pre-select. You gotta. This is Micah Fox's

I Don't Think So, Honey. Her time starts now. I don't think so, eels. You're fucking revolting, okay? You're a goddamn abomination of the sea and you have to be stopped? Why couldn't you be a bald eagle

and just die in the ocean and drown? You are disgusting. You are disgusting. You are what a snake fucks at last call. 30 seconds. Did I fuck that eel? No.

No, I didn't. It's got the face of a brontosaurus and the body of a Toblerone. No. No, I don't. It's got the face of a brontosaurus and the body of a Toblerone. No. No, I don't think so. Eels. And they're always looking like they're smiling. 15 seconds. What do you got to smile about?

Your head's smaller than your body. You're like when a penis's head is smaller than the shaft. Five seconds. Eels look like you're covered in a condom. I don't think so. Yes, that's one minute. Micah, fuck. I wouldn't fuck that eel ever.

No, no, no. And here comes an eel herself. Patty Harrison. Come on, eel. Yes, eel. Go off, eel. Go off, eel. Come on, eel.

Yes, eel. They love Pat. As an eel, As an eel, I'm shivering right now. Yeah, I get it. It's so hard to hear. Patty, what's it going to be? I want to do the bowl.

The bowl is very popular tonight. This is a first for you. This is a first. Excited for this. Patty Harrison, your I Don't Think So Honey Troll Bowl topic is Meghan Markle, the Duchess of Sussex., your I Don't Think So Honey troll bowl topic is Meghan Markle, the Duchess of Sussex.

Wait, I don't know. I don't know a lot about Meghan Markle. You don't know her? No. Wait, do you really want to move on? Do you want to do something else? You don't know her? I don't know Meghan Markle.

You don't know her? Okay. No. Okay, this one's more well-known than like a princess, I guess. Your I Don't Think So Honey Troll Ball topic is the iconic Miss Piggy.

Oh, this is going to be really hard. I know, but that's Troll Ball, baby. And this is Patty Harrison's I Don't Think So Honey when your time starts now. I Don't Think So Honey, Miss Piggy. Ah! No! No. I don't think so any Miss Piggy. No, no, a little pig woman with blonde hair.

Why does she have to have blonde hair? Why does she have to have baillage? Her hair is always blown out in full baillage. Give her straight across tiny art bangs. Give her Bushwick bangs, jet black hair with purple tips. Give her awick bangs, jet black hair with purple tips. Give her a little triangle tattoo. I actually, this is really hard for me because I love Miss Piggy

and I frame my whole womanhood around her. Oh my gosh, and her face is so ugly. Her nose is a circle that has two black holes in it and that's like unnatural. A nose should be a long shaft with two little downward turned holes. They should never be facing forwards. Ever!

Ah! I don't think so, honey. Miss Piggy, because Kermit has no discernible genitalia. Five seconds. How many? Five. Ah!

I don't think so, honey. Miss Piggy, because there's no dick to fuck on Kermit unless he has a cloaca and to be all about him is insane. And that's just one minute. Patty Harrison. Wow.

Wow. Very good. The iconic Miss Piggy. And now please welcome to the mic Amy Zimmer. Yes. Amy. mic, Amy Zimmer. Yes. Amy. Oh, the look.

Okay. Thanks. So what do you think? Are we going to do the Troll Bowl, which has been popular tonight? I know. Or a preselected topic? It's my first rodeo. So.

So I was going to go preselected. Okay, preselected. If you'll oblige. Or do you prefer troll pre-selected. Okay, pre-selected. If you'll oblige. Pre-selected is gorge. Pre-selected is gorge. Pre-selected. You are pre-selected. All right, here we go.

Amy Zimmers, I don't think so, honey. Your time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Trends? Absolutely not, bitch. Okay, I'm done with all that shit. You want me to change just a little bit every couple of months? I don't think so, honey.

I don't think so, honey. I'm keeping up with every single thing happening at every single moment. You want me to get into bell sleeves? No can do, darling. No can do. I'm happy with my nasty little boot cut and my structured jacket, okay? I am busy preparing myself for the apocalypse. I need to be in better shape, okay? I have to run a mile in under 13 minutes, okay? I don't have time to figure out the cutout situation and the top of a dress that doesn't make sense, honey, okay? 15 seconds. We are in capitalist free fall,

and I cannot pay attention to the trends honey five seconds five seconds oh she's done that's one minute Amy Zimmer that was Amy Zimmer no thank you trends and now Rosebud Baker

Rosebud hey girl what do you think about the bull or the Baker! Rosebud! Hey, girl! Hey! What do you think about the bull or the preselects? I have something to get off my chest, so it's preselected. Here we go. Hey, this is Rosebud Baker. For a moment, my voice is like, I don't think so, honey. It's gorgeous. The rasp, and her time starts

now. Okay, I don't think so, honey, Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson. I fucking cannot deal with them. First of all, honey, Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson. I fucking cannot deal with them. First of all, Ariana looks like Barbie before they made her normal. Okay? Pete Davidson is a skull-faced, scary man. I don't think so, honey.

All right? Ariana belongs with Thor. Okay? With Thor the character. 30 seconds. She should be married to Thor, and she's marrying a stretched out Ken doll. That was left in the kiln too long. Anyway, I can't.

No. Absolutely. I don't think so, honey. I don't think so, honey. 15 seconds. Thank you. I've lost my place. I got't think so, honey. I don't think so, honey. 15 seconds. Thank you. I've lost my place. I got fucked up.

All right. I don't fucking think so. If it was Christmas, if you were a little girl and you got a Barbie doll that looked like Ariana Grande and you got a fucking Ken that looked like Pete Davidson, you would fucking cry. That's what I'm saying. Christmas would be ruined! The Real Housewives of New York City are back for another bite of the Big Apple. Look who it is. Joined by elite new friends.

Rebecca Minkoff. Have you ever heard of her? But things could change in a New York Minute. She had this wild night and ended up getting pregnant by some other guy. What? You told her? Not today, Satan. Not today. The Real Housewives of New York City, all new Tuesdays at 9 on Bravo or stream it on

City TV+. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. Guess what, folks? We're teammates again. And we're going to welcome you guys all to Dudes on Dudes. I'm a dude. You're a dude.

And Dudes on Dudes is our brand new show. We're going to highlight players, peers, guys that we played against, legends from the past. And we're just going to sit here and talk about them. And we'll get into the types of dudes. What kind of types of dudes are there, Gronk? We got studs. Wizards.

We got freaks. Or dudes, dude. We got dogs. Dogs.ards. We got freaks. Or a dude's dude. We got dogs. Dog! We'll break down their games, we'll share some insider stories, and determine what kind of dude each of these dudes are. Is Randy Moss a stud or a freak?

Is Tom Brady a dog or a dude's dude? We're gonna find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on dudes on the I heart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Thanksgiving day,

1999, a five-year-old boy floated alone in the ocean. He had lost his mother trying to reach Florida from Cuba. It looked like a little angel. I mean, it looks so fresh. And his name, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere. Elian Gonzalez.

Elian Gonzalez. Elian Gonzalez. Elian. Elian. Elian Gonzalez. At the heart of the story is a young boy and the question of who he belongs with. His father in Cuba. Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him.

Or his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. At the heart of it all is still this painful family separation. Something that as a Cuban, I know all too well. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, as part of the My Cultura podcast network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Cheryl Swoops, WNBA champ, three-time Olympian, and basketball Hall of Famer.

I'm a mom, and I'm a woman. I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby, journalist, sports reporter, basketball analyst, a wife, and I'm also a woman. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. See, athlete or not, we all know it takes a lot as women to be at the top of our game. We want to share those stories about balancing work and relationships, motherhood, career shifts, you know, just all the shit we go through. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women. And T and I, well, we have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby, an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment.

You can find us on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Give it up for the Maren Morris Group, Greta Teitelman, Michael Fox, Patty Harrison, Amy Zimmer, and Rosebud Baker. Goodbye, Marins. Some really good ones. Wow, we are off to a very hot start here. I love it. Please welcome this next group, which is called Constant Vigilance. Please give it up for Kevin Allison.

Kevin. Give it up for Desmond Thorne. Yeah. Give it up for Josh Gondelman! Give it up for one Julio Torres! And a new addition to the night, Miss Catherine Cohen! Catherine Cohen! Yes, honey!

Yes, honey! Yes, honey. All right, here we go. Kevin Allison, it's up to you Take the mic Here we go, bitch Oh, she's got paper She's got papers 60 fucking seconds

I need my paper You want to get it right So this is pre-selected That would be such a gag if he threw the paper and was like, Trillable. We've had some fun fake outs. We've had some fun fake outs. We'd be like, ah!

Kevin Allison, this is his I don't think so, honey. His time starts now. I don't think so, honey. People who get through an entire I don't think so, honey, without at least saying it once like, I don't think so, honey! Or, I don't think so, honey. Or I don't think so, honey. Different. Different. I mean, you've got to get a little variety in it.

Like you could try the squeaky, confused, I don't think so, honey. Or maybe the sultry, I don't think so, honey. 30 seconds. Or you could try it like that straight guy that Margaret Cho is dating who just threw the words away and was like, baby, I think differently. 15 seconds. But the point is, if you're going for an, I don't think so, honey, get a little, I don't think so, honey, into it, or I don't think so, honey. Five seconds. And that's it.

And that's what made it. I hope the industry was here to see those impressions. That was a good reading. It's a good reel. A reel, a fun reel. All right, everyone. Give it up for Desmond Thorne. Desmond!

Okay, shirt. Okay, shirt. Okay, shirt. Oh my God, thank you. What do we think about the Trouble vs. Preselected topics? I'm going to do Preselected. Okay. It's been on my heart for a while.

On your heart. Nice. This is Desmond Thorne's I Don't Think So, Honey. Hised. Okay. It's been on my heart for a while. On your heart. Nice. This is Desmond Thorne's I Don't Think So, Honey. His time starts now. Greetings, white people. This one's for you. Because some of y'all still think it's fine and dandy to be saying nigga just because it's part of a song lyric.

See, now, every time I go to a party, I do what I like to call the gold digger litmus test. Because every time that song comes on, white folks be standing like this. And they about to hop into a game of double dutch. Just waiting to see a nigga. Just waiting to see a nigga. Just waiting to see a nigga. But let me tell you,

if I don't hear you singing the radio edit version, the version where he says, but she ain't messing with no broke, broke, I'm coming for you. I'm coming for you. And that white girl, the version where he says, but she ain't messing with no broke, broke. I'm coming for you. I'm coming for you. And that white girl at the Kendrick Lamar concert was the perfect example. And it's crazy that people thought it was wrong for him to test her.

15 seconds. White people test us every single fucking day. And the Pulitzer Prize winning hip hop artist wanted to test that young woman at his own concert, a test that she failed, by the way. I think he can do so. Good night. And that's one minute.

Jasmine Thorne, everybody. Jasmine Thorne, give it up. Now, please give it up for Josh Gondelman. Josh Gondelman. Hello. Hi. You gotta love it. You gotta love it.

All right, so what do you think here? I'm going to go pre-selected. I don't think so honey love you for that thank you love you for that whenever you're ready you're ready i appreciate it okay this is josh donaldman's i don't think so honey's time starts now i don't think so honey every movie having every superhero in it and like i will say right off the bat i don't like superhero movies because I don't care about them even though I look like

I don't like superhero movies because I care so much about them but now especially with there's every movie is a Marvel movie and all the superheroes

are all together and it's weird like spend some time alone learn to love yourselves yes 30 seconds. Or make some new friends. Branch out.

Every Marvel superhero is like the guy who only hangs out with the six dudes he knows from high school. The Avengers even sounds like a high school clique. Like, we're the Avengers. We all got caught from varsity football together. 15 seconds. If I wanted to see Mark Ruffalo bring down a bunch of monsters, I'd watch Spotlight where he takes on the Boston Archdiocese. I'm just going to surf that one out.

Five seconds. Oh, just give me a quirky psychological thriller or a biopic about someone whose life we haven't already been force-fed the details of. Side note, I don't think so, honey. Steve Jobs. Josh Gottelman. Josh Gottelman. He threw a quick Steve Jobs one in there. Everyone kindly welcome to the stage

Julio Torres! Oh, hello. Hi. Hi, Matt. Hi, Bowen. Hi. By the way, Julio sent me a text before I got here saying, should I look hot or cute? And I said, hot. Yeah, we can't do both. It's a great success. Thank you.

What do we think what do we think no I have been waiting for this moment okay this is selected to me bow it sounds like it this is julia torres's I don't think so honey his time starts now uh I don't think so honey little girls As time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Little girls who for Halloween decided they're going to be mermaids before a tail, they wear a little skirt. I don't think so, honey. Sweetie, you're not a mermaid. You're a little girl with too much makeup

and a skirt. If I can see your little sketches, you're not a mermaid. Commit to it. Commit to it. Drag your body. 30 seconds. Or find a paper mache

rock with wheels where your mommy can wheel you around. It's just like, like you know how in American films when they go to a foreign country,

foreign people speak English in a broken accent? It's sort of the equivalent of that. I speak Spanish and I don't speak Spanish to my sister. Like,

when is our abuela coming home? No. 15 seconds. Do good representation and just drag your body and also no sequins, I think. I think I'm done.

Five seconds. I think I'm done. No sequins. And that's Julio Torres. I don't think so, honey. Julio Torres dragging little girls. And now, please welcome to the microphone And that's Julio Torres. I don't think so, honey. Julio Torres dragging little girls.

And now, please welcome to the microphone, Miss Catherine Cohen. Yes. Oh, she's so shy. She's so coquettish. She gets very shy, guys. She's so shy. She gets very shy. Stop.

She's shy. Kath Coe. What's up? What's up? Kath Coe, what are we thinking? It's Prusa Lu. Kath Coe. What's up? What's up? Kath Coe, what are we thinking? It's Prusa Lu. Prusa Lu. This is Kath Coe's I Don't Think So Honey.

Her time starts now. I don't think so honey, my dreams. No baby, why are my dreams making me dream that I have sex reverse cowgirl style with Eminem and liked it? No my dreams,, my dreams. No, my dreams. Why do my dreams make me dream that I try to have sex with a tripod, but it don't go in? No, my dreams. No, my dreams. Why in my dreams am I still in high school? Why am I failing a chemistry test? Why am I trying to be on Broadway? The only people on Broadway. There's three people and they're all named Tyler. No, my dreams. 30 seconds.

No, my dreams. Why do my dreams make me dream that my ex-boyfriend got married? No, my dreams. No, when someone has been with me, they're not allowed to be with anyone else after me and that's what the government says.

30 seconds. No, my dreams. Why when I'm in my dreams do I wake up with my fists, my nails in my fists like a stressed out little bug? No, my dreams. And that's one minute.

No, my dreams. No, my dreams. Give it up for this group, Constant Vigilance, Kevin Allison, Desmond Thorne, Josh Gondelman, Julio Torres, and the very shy Catherine Cohen. Oh, Catherine. Trying to fuck a tripod, that has to be Freudian. No, my dreams.

No, my dreams. Everyone, please welcome our next group, People of the World. Give it up for Rebecca Vigil. Give it up for Zach Zimmerman. New addition. Give it up for Peter Valenti. Yes. Give it up for Kathleen Armenti.

And give it up for Stephen Paletta. Yes. People of the world. Oh, my God. Hi. All right. And first to the mic is Ms. Rebecca Vigil. Rebecca.

Yes. Woo. Rebecca.igil. Rebecca. Yes. Woo. Rebecca. She's got paper. She's got paper and crushed velvet. Oh. Give me that bow, motherfuckers. Oh, here we go, bitch.

The crowd is getting hot. There's so much hate in this room. Oh my God. This is going to be, I hope you've been watching the news. We hope you've been watching the news. Oh no. I try to avoid it at all costs. Well, this is a bright spot, which is not good for you.

Oh fuck. Okay, your I don't think so honey troll bowl topic is recent primary winner, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. And your time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Your name is too long for white people to say. OK. Also, I don't think so, honey. How dare you?

How fucking dare you be 28 and already in Congress? You know what this bitch was doing at 28? Getting a DUI, okay? 30 seconds. I was not driving under the influence of making America a better place to live. I was putting people's lives in danger. Okay, bitch. Also, Bronx.

Bronx, really? 15 seconds. Bronx. No, the Bronx is great. But seriously, though, I don't think so. Five seconds. Five seconds. I got two more fucking hours of this shit that I can rip off.

No, but congratulations. I'm very excited for her win. That's one minute. Rebecca Vigil, an expert. I don't think so, honey, right there. She did the assignment. Did the assignment. She did the assignment.

You got to rip that woman apart. 10 out of 10. And now, please welcome, God bless him for filling in. He has a show out tomorrow at the Duplex. Yes, honey. It's Zach Zimmerman. Check him out. Zach Zimmerman.

Ooh, the look. Thank you. Stop. Uniqlo Women's Department. Embrace it. Yes, come on, Uniqlo. Come on, Uniqlo. All right.

So what's in your mind? What's in your heart? I'm going to go preselected as of Bowen's DM today at 3 o'clock when I was like, this is it. No, no, no, no. I love you. This is Zach Zimmerman's I Don't Think So Honey. His time starts now.

I Don't Think So Honey Street Festivals. We discovered shelter, but let's build a two-day Hooverville, get sunburned, and pay too much for sangria. When have you been in a store and thought, this is nice, but let's do it in a crosswalk? You think you're hot shit, street festivals. You're humid shit. I have to tiptoe like I'm in the board game Don't Wake Daddy,

and daddy is my overactive sweat glands. 30 seconds. I sweat like a cute boy just texted me, so I text my friend that cute boy just texted me, and when I look at my phone, I've sent that text to the cute boy. The stakes are too high, street festivals. If you have a bad winter, it's on winter. Have a bad time at a street festival, it's on you. And as a gay man, if I don't have mimosas in hand by one o'clock, I get in trouble.

And the worst thing about street festivals and summer in general is I can't wear my jean jacket, the source of my personality. Thank you. And that's one minute. Zach Zimmerman. Zach Zimmerman. Beautiful, bitch. Beautiful. Now, please welcome to the microphone Peter Valente! Peter! Yes! I love a high weight. Thank you so much. Good luck.

That's a good look. Good luck. Now, talk to us about the bowl versus the pre-selected topics. Where is your head at tonight? So, I feel like because it's my first time, I should really risk it all with the bowl. Ah!

Peter! Nothing to lose. Nothing to lose on your first time. Okay. I thought that was like a cute joke, but it really made no sense. Anyway. Yeah. You can't nail it every single time.

Anyway. Your troll ball topic is the actress extraordinaire. Catherine Keener. No? I don't know her. You don't know her? All right. We're going to draw another one.

Shady. That's an Adam's egg. But I'm not lying. She plays hypnotist. But you're not lying. She plays the hypnotist. You could probably tell me something if you want. She would play like a really good therapist. A hypnotist, a hypnotist.

She's played two. No, this actress is quite famous. Okay. Your I don't think so, honey topic is Sally Field. And your time. Remind me of a film she was in. Steel Magnolias, Mrs. Doubtfire. I love it.

Hate me. No, no, no, no, no. It's fine. Should we do another one? Give me more. Should we do another one? Do you want to go in one more time, bitch? Or I can...

Is that okay? Let's go one more. Let's go one more. You commit to this. Honey, this is a supportive crowd. We're here to live. No, no, no, no, no. This is supportive.

Okay. Here we go. Your I don't think so, honey topic is the beloved Carrie Fisher, a.k.a. Here we go. Your I Don't Think So Honey topic is the beloved Carrie Fisher. AKA Princess Leia. You know? I know Carrie. Got it. Peter Belangis, I Don't Think So Honey on Carrie Fisher as time starts now.

I Don't Think So Honey being a princess in a movie? Carrie Fisher, she acts like she was all great because she had sex with her brother or something in a film. But that's what i do all the time hey yeah your hair looks good i'll give you that okay but you're also you know you got you you got like a a life where you don't have that hair and i don't think so honey if you're gonna do that in a movie you're gonna going to do that in life. 30 seconds. You have to do it all.

Also, the white dress. It wasn't that hot. Like, it was cool, but it wasn't that great. Listen, Carrie Fisher, you are beloved by a world that is also a bunch of nerds. I don't like Star Wars, bitch. I don't like the whole culture. And Carrie Fisher, you are a queen to theses. I don't like Star Wars, bitch. I don't like the whole culture. And Carrie Fisher, you are a queen to these people.

Five seconds. I love you. You're great. Thank you for your contributions to American culture. And I don't think so, honey, also. That's one minute. That's one minute. Give it up for Peter Belanti.

He made it work. He made it work. He did the assignment. She really, she should have rocked that arrow all the time. That's a work. He did the assignment. She really, she should have rocked that arrow all the time. That's a read.

That's a read. Give it up for Kathleen Armenti, everybody. Kathleen! Kathleen. I love you, Kathleen.

Hi, I love you too. Wow, what do you think? Is it a pre-selected topic or is it the troll bowl? A pre-selected. Okay.

This is Kathleen Armenti's I Don't Think So, Honey. Her time starts now. I don't think so, honey. This is a really stupid thing that happens to me a lot. Pink spelling her name with an exclamation point instead of an I. I'm at the gym. I've gotten myself to the gym. I am exercising.

And I want to listen to pink music. And I type in P.I. And the only things that come up are Nicki Minaj, Pink Friday, and Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots. And that is not what I'm looking for! When I was in first grade, I had a spelling test, and as soon as I put my folders up, you know, to cover the thing, I put my head down, and I fell asleep, and we were spelling the colors. And when I woke up, the teacher was done, and I furiously wrote down the colors as fast as I could. And she thought it was cute and gave me 100

because I still spelled the colors right. But if I had put an exclamation point in my P, that would have been a beautiful trauma. That would have been a different situation. You make me sick, Pink. You need to teach your children how to spell colors the right way. You have two daughters. I love you, but spell your name right.

And that's one minute. Someone needs to tell Pink she's not spelling her name right. Oh, my God. Someone needs to tell her. Thank you, Kathleen. And who wants to listen to Yoshimi battles the pink robots at the gym? Not me. No, not me.

Not me. I want pink. I want pink, pink, pink. Everyone, please give it up for Steven Poleta! Wearing some ASOS that I could not pull off because I bought that same shirt and it did not work on me. Looking VQ. Thank you.

All right, Steven. Troll Bull. It is DCM weekend. Lots of improv happening. Okay. I think I'm going to go pre-selected. Okay, baby. All right.

This is Steven Pallettas. I don't think so, honey. His time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Open casket funerals. Okay. First of all, let's talk about it. Open.

Whoever looks good, okay? My grandmother dies. I love her so much. And then I go to her open casket funeral. She looks worse than Gwen Stefani's wax figure in Madame Tussauds. I don't think so, honey. Also, her so much. And then I go to her open casket funeral and she looks worse than Gwen Stefani's wax figure in Madame Tussauds. I don't think so, honey. Also, a casket, you're wasting so many trees so you can

lie in the ground and do nothing. I don't think so, honey. And then funerals, life's hard enough and you make an event where we have to go for two to three hours and be even sadder. I don't think so, honey. For everybody out there that's like, oh, I want to do an open casket funeral because I want everyone to go for two to three hours and be even sadder? I don't think so, honey.

For everybody out there that's like, oh, I want to do an open casket funeral because I want everyone to come and see me one last time and give my respects to me and all of this bullshit,

I say, I don't think so, honey. If you want to give your respect and you want to see me, come and see me when I'm alive, bitch. Okay? I don't think so, honey. Open casket funerals,

you're unnatural and it's not good that's one minute it's not good give it up for people of the world Rebecca Vigil Zach Zimmerman Peter Valenti Kathy Normanti and Steven Pauletta

that was a great group this next group that's about to take the stage is also going to take your heart, bitch. And their group name is called It Must Be Friday. Please welcome Akilah Hughes. Please welcome Rebecca O'Neal. Please welcome Wanjiko Eke.

Please welcome Eva Victor. And finally, give it up for Matt Bellassai! Matt Bellassai, y'all! Oh, wow. Okay. This is fun. First to the mic is Miss Akilah Hughes, everybody! Yes!

Oh. Now, let's ask this question, shall we? Pre-selected topic or the troll bowl? Pre-selected with the caveat that I just changed it a minute ago. Oh, shit. Oh, as a result of something you've seen, heard, or experienced? Yes. Oh.

Okay, this is Akilah Hughes. I don't think so, honey. Her time starts now. Okay, I don't think so,. Her time starts now. Okay, I don't think so honey. This edible I ate earlier. I mean. There was, there was definitely like a reason to do it.

Like I was a little bit nervous about meeting all these people and talking to them about something that I hate, you know? But I don't think so honey. You can't just say that you're working, and then it's like, oh, I guess it's not working, I'll eat another one. And now, I was gonna talk about old people,

but now I'm just talking about how, like, I wanna call my mom, but I should absolutely not call my mom right now. 30 seconds, don't do that. Ugh, I don't think so, honey. I mean, so I was just in LA, which, ugh, and, ugh. I can't. And they were having a 70% off sale on weed everywhere.

So I had to get it. 15 seconds. But then I was realizing that, like, I had to risk my life with TSA. So I feel like this edible should be on my motherfucking side. I don't think so, honey. Five seconds. So I'm out here, and you know what? Like, I feel good, and it actually is helping my period cramp.

So I guess, guess maybe honey. And that's one minute of Keela Hughes. I live. Girl here's a little PSA. TSA does not care about weed. No they don't care about what you can get right through. Everyone give it up for Rebecca O'Neal.

Hello. Good luck. Rebecca how's it going? It's going great, how are you? We're good How do you feel in terms of the troll bowl And the pre-slides of topic Where are we at?

I'm thinking troll bowl I love troll bowl Okay Let's pick a good one Oh baby Your I don't think so, honey troll bowl topic is from the great state of Massachusetts, Miss Elizabeth Warren. And Rebecca O'Neal, her time starts now.

Elizabeth Warren, I don't think so, honey. You know what? You know who got shot more times 50 cents. Is he a politician? Where's your street cred, stop it i'm kidding uh elizabeth warren elizabeth warren what you want equal rights so do i like i'm at the bottom of the time a queer black woman girl you late you late you thought you thought no i'm kidding no you're doing, you're doing great. You're doing great. Elizabeth Warren. I don't think so. Honey. All right.

30 seconds. 30 seconds. All right. I mean, I do love you, but we got a plan here. I don't think so, honey. Like, honestly, I'm tired of the people in office. I stopped wearing bras after the election, honestly, because I figure my titties are going the same direction as our democracy. 15 seconds.

Hold on. My titties have gone a little wonky from lack of support, but I feel like it's the same type of lack of support we've seen from our elected officials. Five seconds. I don't think so, Elizabeth. All right, that's enough. I do love you. Sorry, girl.

That's one minute. Thank you, Rebecca O'Neal. Wow, Elizabeth Warren, that is the epitome of a trouble. That's a pretty hard one. That's a tough one, babe. Oh, my God. Here we go. Everyone, give it up for Juan Chico Ike.

I'm going to do, I'm going for it. You're going for it? No, like, out of my mind. Oh, okay. That was a roller coaster. My hand was in the bowl. Okay, here we go. This is Juan Chico.

I don't think so, honey. Your time starts now. If I give you my phone to take a picture of me and you take one photo instead of 85, I don't think so, honey. If I show up to a winery with you, take one photo of me by the trees. No, no, no, no.

This is a photo shoot. 30 seconds. Back in the day when you take a photograph, you take it with a flash, you see it three days later, and you're sad, but you have emotional stability to handle it. If you take a photo of me,

you don't immediately scroll through at least seven? You're doing it wrong. I don't think so, honey. I took a photo of a family recently, and they're like, okay, we're done. I'm like, no, I have to reach 20. You gave me the phone. Five seconds. I don't think so, honey. Okay, thank you. Bye.

And that's one minute. There should be a lot of options. There should be a lot of options. Everyone, give it up and get ready for Eva Victor. Oh my God. Okay, it is pre-selected all the way. I'm ready for my thing! Oh my God. Okay, it is pre-selected all the way. I'm ready for my thing.

Pre-selected, she is ready to go. Yes. This is Eva Victor's I Don't Think So Honey. Her time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Chrissy Teigen! Yeah! You think you can be good at everything?

I don't think so, honey. You think you can be funny? You think you can be hot? You think you can be smart? And also married to romance icon John Legend? No. When I point the mic at you, you say, that's not our world, bitch. Okay, let's practice.

That's not our world, bitch. Great job. Okay, do you really think you can be in a happy marriage in this political climate? That's not our world, bitch. Do you really think you can raise over $1 million for the ACLU in one night? That's not our world, bitch. Do you really think you can simultaneously have a paid partnership with the number one highlighter from Sephora, from Becca Cosmetics,

as well as a paid partnership with Pampers? That's not our world, bitch. One final thing. Where do you get off with the name Chrissy Teigen? Five seconds. Who do you think you are, Teigen and Sarah? I don't think so, honey. Chrissy Teigen.

And that's who I'm getting. Eva. Eva, the queen diva. Eva, queen diva. Working in some call and response. Now get ready, everyone, for Matt Bellassat! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh my god, look at him. The way he holds a drink

is just professional. Yes, classy bitch. Listen, alright? I'm not starting yet. Don't start the clock. Let's go. I, too, had an edible. Ah! And this is true, I've already spent $50 at the bar out there. Bitch, you're fucked up.

You are so fucked up. Oh my God. So I am fucking ready. That is. Ready for what? Ready, you want to do a pre-selected topic or the troll ball? You want to really roll a goddamn dice? I'm too fucked up to trust you, motherfucker.

Okay, this is Matt Bellassai's pre-selected. I don't think so, honey. His time starts now. I don't think so, motherfucker. Okay, this is Matt Bellassai's pre-selected I Don't Think So, Honey. His time starts now. I Don't Think So, Hanny. Gays who shame me for wanting to fuck Shawn Mendes. Yes!

There's 27 hours left of Pride Month, bitches! Let me be basic! Does he look like every Instagram twink with a wisp of a jawline and a bleached asshole? Yes! 30 seconds. Do I still want to ruin his tiny twink Degrassi?

Yes! Just because he looks like the student council president at Tim Horton High and I look like nerdy gay Shrek doesn't mean I wouldn't enter his poutine. 15 seconds. I don't care if John Mendez is gay catnip. I'm a pussy, bitch. I will not be shamed for wanting his Canadian bacon in my Justin Trujillo. And I know,

and before you say fuck you, Matt, you're clearly a bottom, and so is he. Fuck you, bitch. I'd butthole scissor the life out of him. Honey! And that's one minute. Matt Bellassai, everyone.

Give it up for It Must Be Friday. Akilah Hughes! Rebecca O'Neal! Wanda Goenke! Evo Victor! And Matt Bellassai! Oh, baby! Wow.

I have to say, butt-scissoring Shawn Mendes is my actual sex dream. Anytime someone is excluding me from some encounter because we're both bottoms, we'll fucking butt-scissor. Butt-scissor! There's nothing wrong with it. It sounds wonderful. Everyone, please welcome our last group for this first half.

Thoughts. Please welcome Tommy Pico. Please welcome Fran Tirado. Joseph Odmanson. And Dennis Norris. The second. This is a crossover. This is a crossover event. This is a crossover event.

Crossover of the century. Hello, bitches. Hello, fam. No, that's not true! Fuck you! These bitches all know Mary Oliver's work like the back of their hand. That is true.

They masturbate to Mary Oliver. Please welcome to the stage, Hey, Teeps, Tommy Pico! Tommy. Tommy. Tommy, what's it going to be? Thank you so much for having me. Of course. We're so excited to have you.

Awesome. Awesome. Okay, is this going to be pre-selected or troll ball? Okay, this is pre-selected. This is like a special pride edition. Like everyone else said, I had something to get off my chest and my ass. Okay, this is Tommy Pico's I Don't to get off my chest and my ass. Okay. This is Tommy Pickles.

I don't think so, honey. His time starts now. Okay. I don't think so, honey. Anal. I'm sorry. I didn't say you don't think so, honey. You should think so, honey angel.

Anal. Like Dennis definitely thinks so, honey anal. You know what I mean? But, okay, first of all i have never had the impulse to insert myself into someone else because i'm anti-imperial you know what i mean like i don't think so honey colonialism like decolonize my butthole and like okay and then on the other side like i don't think so honey preparation like i'd much rather be spontaneous if you let me know beforehand it's like i don't think so honey like anal also like you stay in your body i'll stay in my body um five seconds and it's just like all the preparation

just so you don't leave like a brown elf shoe in somebody's sheets. Like, I'm not about that. I don't think so. Honey. Also, in the troll bowl now removed is

anal sex. Thank you. Prescient. How prescient. Thank you, babe. And now it's time for Fran. Fran. Fran Tirado,

what's it going to be? It's going to be pre-selected special Pride edition as well. Oh my God. Sponsored by Chase Bank. Sponsored by Chase. Sponsored by Halliburton. Hopefully the gays will be shook. Okay.

Get ready, gays. This is Fran Tirado's I Don't Think So Honey's Time Starts Now. I Don't Think So Honey, the masturbatory and largely apolitical Instagram presence of the Queer Eye Fab Five. Okay. What? You think your photos with Gigi Hadid are going to help abolish ice, honey? You think your Instagram sponsored by Vida Coco are going to help de-gender bathrooms? Okay.

Tan. Okay. You wear a crop top once and you think you've like broken the gender binary. Honey, you've never met a trans person and you admitted that, okay? All right. 30 seconds.

Anthony, you think that just because you put the National Suicide Prevention Hotline in your Instagram bio, you've like solved the suicide epidemic for queer and trans youth? Honey, the only reason I need that is because every time I see your branded ads on Spotify, I want to throw myself off the Brooklyn Bridge.

15 seconds! Okay, honey. How about we put some real Instagram, how about we put some real queers on your Instagram feed, okay, honey? And Nico Tortorello does not count, okay, honey? Five seconds! Five seconds! Nico Tortorello is the Rachel Dolezal of the queer community.

Stay away from her. You stay away. No, I don't think so, honey. And that's one minute. Oh, my God. It's got to be rule of culture number 99. Nico Tortorella is the Rachel Dolezal of the queer community. Get it down, Kelly.

Get it down. You getting it down? Do you want to know something? One time he reached out about being on the show, and then we said we'd love to have you, and then they said never mind. He said never mind, Nico. Everyone give it up for Joseph Osmondson!

Joe. That was funny, bitch. I don't want to play anymore. Can I not go after that? No, bitch, you gotta go. I have notes I'm doing pre-prepared. Pre-prepared. She's a prep queen.

Let's go! This is Joseph Osmondson's I Don't Think So Honey as time starts now. I don't think so honey. I don't think so honey. Fuck you Matt. Fuck you Bowen. Just get up on stage and in a minute be funny. Oh be informative. Oh take down the Trump regime.

Get it done. I don't think so honey. I am a motherfucking scientist. I am not a comic. I don't think so, honey. I am a motherfucking scientist. I am not a comic. I spend my days with bacteria and two computer scientists. That's all we do. I'm not good at this shit. And then do it in front of 500 gays? Gays are mean.

30 seconds. I know because I am a gay. And I am mean. I sit at home in my underwear. 15 seconds. 15 seconds. Watching RuPaul's Drag Race, being like, ooh, that contour girl.

Don't. I have never contoured my face in my life. I learned what a contour was Two weeks ago by watching RuPaul's Drag Race And that's one minute Give it up for Joseph Osmenten everybody Wow

Scathing mean Fuck you guys Here's what he did he was funny he was informative He took down the Trump regime He did it all I don't think so, honey. I don't think so, honey. And now give it up for Dennis Norris II. Yes.

Giving you Janet Jackson. Giving you Janet. Topical. Topical. Hi. Hi. Hi. Listen.

Listen. Listen. Listen. I am so, this bitch is so excited to be here. Okay, great. This bitch is excited to have you here. Dennis, what's it gonna be? All right.

I've been struggling with this for about 48 hours. Okay, that's two days. That's two whole days. But I have a pre-selected topic. Great, no shame. And it's been driving me crazy most of the week. Here we go, babe. Okay, this is Dennis Norris II.

Pride edition, it sounds like. Pride edition, maybe. And his time starts... Kind of. Kind of. And his time starts now. All right. I don't think so, honey.

White people telling black people that they need to be civil. Okay? First of all, first of all, where do you get off? Okay? If you cannot stand behind Auntie Maxine, who

by the way, is the most truth-telling motherfucker all up in your entire Congress, then what the hell you doing, Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer? Shut your mouth, close your lips, duct tape that shit,

and get out of her way because you're ruining her flow, okay? And another thing, last I checked, slave days are over. So since when do you get to tell somebody what to say, what to do, what to think? Because as far as I'm

concerned, it seems as though the idea of being civil has led to this country being in the shit show that it's in. With the bestest Cheeto in office. Give it up. Thank you. For Dennis Norris, everybody.

And for all these thoughts. Thank you, thoughts. Tommy Pico. Grant Toronto. Joseph Osmenton. And Dennis Norris, Miss Duggan. All right. Now.

Before. Before we leave you all for intermission for a quick ten minutes so you can all get a little bit drunker. We are going to be visited by, I guess this is his fifth Las Culturistas Icon Award. Are you guys ready? Are you ready? Please welcome to the stage Pat Regan!

Oh my God! He hurt his foot, you guys. Look, he's limping. Oh my God, look. He has a boot. Are you okay? Oh my God, Pat. Oh my god. Oh my god. He hurt his foot, you guys. Look, he's limping. Oh my god, look. He has a boot. Are you okay? Oh my god, Pat. Oh my god, I think this is a sympathy ploy.

This is a sympathy ploy. No, this is very transparent. Look at the acting going on. This is performative. This is all performative. Look at this, Mamie Gummer herself. Mamie Gummer. She's like, Mamie Gummer, bitch.

It's Mamie, bitch. Pat. She feels like Mamie Gummer. What's going on? I can do it. All right. Okay. This is Pat Rogers.

This is Pat Regan. He wishes, bitch. Stop. He wishes that you could marry me. You know we would hyphenate, bitch. We would hyphenate. This is Pat. We would hyphenate.

Pat and Matt Regan Rogers. Do you love? And that's... That. That is white gayness. Okay, this is Pat Regan's I Do you love? And that's, that, that is white gayness. Okay, this is Pat Regan's I Don't Think So, Honey, and his time starts now. I don't think so, honey, my fans. Oh my God, my fans are crazy. I don't think so, honey.

Y'all are obsessed with me, but also don't like me enough. These young girls come up to you after a show and act like they want to raise your kids, but then when it comes to brass tacks, no one's even hooking up with me enough. I don't think so, honey. I'm a crazed fan in the back who kicked me in the leg three times because I was standing in her line of vision.

30 seconds. Bitch, if you want a selfie with me, just ask. I'll do a paid appearance at your birthday party, just go through proper channels. I don't think so, honey, my fans. Sometimes fans will come up to me and call me out for not following them on social. It's like, yeah, because you're a fan, not a friend.

I'm fully staffed in friends right now. I'm currently accepting new fans, lovers, and agents. I don't think so, honey. I don't think so, honey. My fans, everyone's obsessed with me. And a fan recently sent me a fan art on Insta where I looked ugly. And that's one minute.

How dare you, fan art. Give it up for Pat Regan. Oh my God, he's so... He can barely make it off the stage His fans did this to him Oh my god Well while he's making his way off the stage Oh we love to watch him go

Yes Oh wow Everyone give it up for everyone you saw In this first half right now And there's a lot more To come from We'll see you in 10 to 11 minutes. Go to the bar and tip your tenders.

See you in a bit. Forever Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram

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I was a desperate delusional dreamer. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. I'm Sheryl Swoops. And I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day.

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