Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - "I Don't Think So, Honey! 9" (Part Two)

Episode Date: December 14, 2018

The 9th installment of “I Don’t Think So, Honey!” Live continues! Part Two featuring: Andy Ward, Addie Weyrich, Chris Laker, Irene Fagan Merrow, Celeste Yim, Lauren Magnuson, Kiki Mikkelsen, Amanda Shechtman, Patricia Sabulis, Rachel Rosenthal, Katy Berry, Kevin Aeh, Alex Gibson, Jon Graziano, Taylor Rivers, Sam Morrison, Chanel Ali, Xazmin Garza, Erica Hernandez, Ariel Gitlin, Suni Reyes, and Chet Siegel. Hosted by Matt Rogers & special guest co-host Pat Regan!---MERCH! MERCH! GET YOUR LAS CULTURISTAS MERCH!https://www.teepublic.com/stores/las-culturistasSUBSCRIBE ON APPLE PODCASTS TODAY!LAS CULTURISTAS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST. LAS CULTURISTAS IS PRODUCED BY EMMA FOLEY.http://foreverdogproductions.com/fdpn/podcasts/las-culturistas/ Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Real Housewives of New York City are back for another bite of the Big Apple. Look who it is. Joined by elite new friends. Rebecca Minkoff. Have you ever heard of her? But things could change in a New York Minute. She had this wild night and ended up getting pregnant by some other guy. What?

You told her? Not today, Satan. Not today. The Real Housewives of New York City. All new Tuesdays at 9 on Bravo or stream it on City TV+. Hey, fam. I'm Simone Boyce. I'm Danielle Robay. And we're the hosts of The Bright Side,

the podcast from Hello Sunshine that's guaranteed to light up your day. Check out our recent episode with Grammy Award-winning rapper Eve on motherhood and the music industry. No, it's a great, amazing, beautiful thing. There's moms in all industries, very high-stress industries that have kids all across this world. Why can't it be music as well? Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Oh, hey, it's Teresa, back from the dead, again.

Just wanted to pop in and let you know that Haunting is back on October 22nd. Spooky season? I own spooky season. We're serving up some killer stories, literally, and a few that might make you question whether you really locked the door before getting into bed. So cancel your lame Halloween plans. Haunted houses? Overdone. Candy corn? Honestly, who eats that? Your new tradition? Listening to me.

Listen to Haunting starting on October 22nd on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jacqueline Thomas, the host of a brand new Black Effect original series, Black Lit, the podcast for diving deep into the rich world of Black literature. Black Lit is for the page turners, for those who listen to audiobooks while running errands or at the end of a busy day.

From thought-provoking novels to powerful poetry, we'll explore the stories that shape our culture. Listen to Black Lit on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Forever. Dog. Hey, everybody. I just know you're going to come see my show.

Have you heard of Christmas at the Duplex? This is Matt, by the way. And there's still tickets available for Saturday, December 15th and Saturday, December 22nd. So please come. You can get tickets at purplepass.com. I would be very, very grateful to see you guys there. And if you can't come, you have to give me a gift.

I like Everlane stuff. Bye. Look, Matt. Where? Oh, I see. Wow. Oh, my. Bowen, look over there wow is that culture yes

i don't condone this fandom sick treatment all of you oh yes do though all right so you know what? I guess we're back. I know. Wait, I actually have to announce something that's actually going to be interesting to you guys. Alright, he has to announce something that's actually going to be interesting to us. So perk up the ears. I literally found my phone.

Literally so bright. Wait, I'm crying. So bright. My cousin texted me, do you like Jane Austen? We don't have that relationship. Can you actually respond why? And I want to know what he says. Here's what I did choose to say back.

I said for some... Okay, she answered, but I said back. I said, yeah, what I've read. I think just Emma and Pride and Prej and Sense and Sensibille. I can't yeah, what I've read. I think just Emma and Pride and Prej and Sense and Sensibil. I can't believe you've read three of them. Autocorrect tried to change it to Sensibility, and I said, no, it's Sensibil.

And then I said, why? Two question marks, because she's fucking psycho. And she said, for some reason, I associate you with her. I didn't know if I imagined it. She did imagine it. You are very much like a Jane Austen protagonist. Absolutely. Oh, yeah. In a way that I can't

say why. Because I like drama. Because I like drama. I don't think that Jane Austen protagonists like drama. They do. Your Emmas and... Messy bitch who lives for drama. I don't know. I don't think Elizabeth Bennet was a messy bitch who lives for drama. Yeah. I don't know. I don't think Elizabeth Bennett was a messy bitch

who lives for drama. And you should know that I know actually nothing about her despite writing my AP Lit essay on this very book. Wow. And getting a five!

Yes. Decorum! Decorum! All right. What I'll say is people assume I'm literary because I don't use product and I rely on natural oils for my hair. They assume you're literary for that reason? People think that means I'm an author. That's what I found.

Like, one of the main things about me is the amount of product in my hair, and so I wonder what that makes people think about me, and I'm very scared to know the answer to that. It means you're like on screen, you're hosting, you're... For me, it's like I'm in a cottage writing a book.

In like a warm sweater next to a candle. Right, and I'm like... It's very Jonathan Safran Foer. It's very Jonathan Safran Foer. Hot man who dated a movie star, Michelle Williams. And I guess that is like very much our dynamic. Wait, stop. Because I'm the Michelle Williams of this night.

Can I say something? We're in Brooklyn and I'm the Michelle Williams of this night. Can I say something? We're in Brooklyn and I took the gig. Can I finally say something? Can you? All right. Go ahead and say something. Someone said no. And that was cool of them.

And actually, whoever said no, I actually think it's hot. What do you have to say finally? Michelle Williams did amazing work in Dawson's Creek. Start to end. She did amazing work every single day. And I also think we could have never had Michelle Williams if we didn't have Renee Zellweger.

And I think Renee Zellweger paved the way. Renee Zellweger paved the way for people with that bone structure. And I will say this. I will say this. We need a Renee Zellweger comeback now. Yes, yesterday.

And I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear any criticism because Bridget Jones's diary is a sleigh and a half. And if the person who said no says no we don't, I will fucking suck your dick. What the fuck is going on here? Dave Mazzoni trying to steal the spotlight. The fuck? There's a whole perfectly good back row.

That was not Renee. That was not Renee at all. That was Catherine Zeta. That was a Catherine Zeta move if I've ever seen one. Wait, I love Renee. Do you love Catherine Zeta? I love Catherine Zeta.

I don't love Catherine Zeta. I can't do it alone. I love how she's relentlessly Broadway in her singing. She doesn't even care. She's doing a warble, bitch. You know. When I think about Catherine Zeta,

my thought is like, yeah, she like got away with it. Well, Pat famously, okay, I'm actually going to out Pat on this. Okay. Pat once said to me, Pat doesn't like understand singing.

I don't. He doesn't get the difference between like when Whitney Houston sings and when Britney Spears sings. Like he thinks it's the same. It sounds the same to me. Respect that. And that's why I got extra time on the SATs. And we had to go to the Board of Ed for that. That's why?

And we had to go to the Board of Ed for that. Yeah. You had to go to the board of ed for that. That's why? And we had to go to the board of ed for that. Yeah. You had to go to the board of ed? And my mom said, my son can't hear the difference between Whitney and Selena Gomez. And he needs extra time on verbal. Wait.

Oh my God. This is our new producer, Emma. Oh my God. Hot producer, Emma. This is amazing. Can you show them this fringe top? Yes!

Thank you, Emma. Emma always looks amazing. Emma always looks amazing. And that is Everlane. That is Everlane, actually. I don't think it is. It is. She told me I actually was.

And she's actually the one who told me what Everlane was. And she's the one I learned that I'm entitled to Everlane clothes that I haven't received. Did you not receive them? And I'm not trying to shade you. I swear to God I'm not. Okay.

All great. Did you not receive it because you didn't fill out the form? That's something I don't know because I can only read some emails. Depending. Depending on if it feels like it's scary. So if the subject line suggested I was going to have to send something back, there's a chance that I didn't read it. Can I say? So I will say right now, so of course you don't like Catherine Zeta, because you're afraid of danger. And Catherine Zeta offers danger.

It's actually rule of culture number two. Catherine Zeta offers danger. See, when it comes to Catherine Zeta, I actually feel really bad for people like you because you fell for it. What did I fall for? Something that the Oscar voters also fell for? You stupid bitch.

Like what did I fall for? Abject talent? Seek treatment. Stop. But thank you for creating a space for me to say listen to my podcast. Seek treatment. Listen, I think we've really come to a lot of important points here.

This has been an important discussion and exchange, but still no proposal. And it is coming. And it's coming. But first, I think we should get started. And also, everyone, raise your hand if you're single, like looking to get married tonight to someone you meet tonight. Okay. Okay, can I say something? A lot of my crushes in the audience that I think are hot

didn't raise their hands, and that is upsetting me. And I want to say... And I am talking to you in the front row. Sorry. What? And I want to say that... I know you, though. I follow you on Instagram.

Ah! Wait. Oh, on Instagram. Wait. Oh, my God. Wait. Is that? Whatever. It's harmless. It's fun.

I'm like a dog. His friend is saying he's married. He's married, but he's open. Okay, he's married, but he's open. Okay, cool. And I want to. That's going to be ours to discuss later. Okay?

Can you stay out of it? And I want to say that my current primary crush is in the area tonight. On a date with someone else. What? And that's okay. And that's okay. That's okay. I have no crushes on the agenda.

You don't have any crushes? I have one primary, two secondaries, and three tertiaries. I would say I have about 700 tertiary crushes. Yeah. And no one that I'm like, staying up at night thinking about. So I'll give you this advice, this treatment,

is you need to cultivate one of those tertiaries into a secondary. Write stories about them in your head that make them hotter. Okay, we get it. You go to therapy. That's what my therapist advises me to do. You need to cultivate one of those tertiaries into a secondary, into a primary. And that's why I'm functional. And with that, let's move forward with more I Don't Think So Honeys, yeah?

Alright, this next group is called Get All The Good Juice. Please give it up for Andy Ward. Please give it up for Addie Wehrich. Please give it up for Chris Laker. Please give it up

for Irene Fagan-Mero. And give it up for Irene Fagan-Mero. And give it up for my sister Celestium. Hello all. Hello all. Hello all and welcome. Now I want to say to Andy Ward, step to the mic please. Hey.

Hey Andy. How are you? I'm doing great. I'm great too. And I want to know, were we doing a troll poll or are we doing a pre-selected topic? We've got a pre. I love that. We've got a pre.

Tis a pre for she. Pre for she. Pre for she? It's kind of controversial. Kind of controversial? Yeah, so if you can like contact your senator after, that'd be great.

We all have Kirsten Gellibrand's number in our phones, right? Uh-huh. She texts back and that's why I love her. She's my senator. Okay, here we go. Okay.

Andy, yes. Here we go. Your I Don't Think So, Honey topic is preselected, and it will begin now. I don't think so, fucking Instagram ads, bitch. Okay? Yeah, I know. Yes. All right.

It's like, I don't fucking get it. I just like, oh, oh my god i'm bombing uh no so i what i i don't fucking think so instagram ads because it's like i i think they're listening to us and i'm like uh hello bitch i'm like sick of getting all these fucking fat pants and erectile dysfunction uh pill ads uh i'm, I don't think this is for me, honey. Okay. You heard the wrong person. This is, I think you got the right.

30 seconds. The wrong guy. So I don't fucking think so Instagram ads because I hate scrolling through Instagram and then I'm like seeing Anthony's Instagram profile. Yeah. Okay. And then that's just another fucking ad.

He's an ad, bitch. He's an ad. And I'm like, excuse me. Thank you, Anthony, for being a perfect person for Excedrin, because now I need Excedrin. Okay. Five seconds. So, I fucking, I hate Instagram ads. Thanks so much.

And that's Andy Ward's I Don't Think So, Honey. That actually, I have to say, you gave us a rule of culture. It's rule of culture number ten. Anthony is an ad. He's an ad. Everyone, please welcome the stunning Addy Weyrich.

Oh, boy. Hi. Let's talk about it. Let's talk about it. What's the story? What's the story? What's happening? Let me tell you. Wow.

The story is I cyber Monday'd. You cyber Monday'd. I cyber Monday'd. But none of my shit came. Even though I expedited. So you know I emailed customer service and I said, please refund me expedited. Wow.

I know. And then I got this at Nord said, please refund me expedited. Wow. I know. And then I got this at Nordstrom Rack about two hours ago. And I'm so happy I asked for the story. I'm so glad you asked. And Nordstrom Rack has cute stuff. And it's actually rule of culture number seven. Nordstrom Rack has cute stuff. Let's get into your I don't think so, honey.

So, of course, there's a bowl. Of course, there's a pre-selected option. I know, but I'm unfortunate. Hashtag pre for she for me. All right, great. I love that. Here's Addie Weirich's I Don't Think So, Honey. Addie, your time starts now.

I Don't Think So, Honey, Ocean's 8. What the fuck? Sorry, no. Sorry, no. I'm sorry. I'm sorry honey have you been super excited for an amazing heist movie starring women all fucking summer long yes honey i was i'm sorry honey did you when you got to the movie theater were you like wow this movie has no adversity wow it's almost as if these women who are amazing actresses were were like just kind of dragged on a bad script that had no problem.

There were no problems. There were absolutely no problems. There was one problem. Sorry if this is spoiler alert. 30 seconds. Spoiler alert. It's bad. Sorry. There was a moment where they were like, oh, no.

The necklace. You need a magnet. And then Rihanna's like, it's OK. I got a sister who is super good at tech, even though she's a teen, and can just fix it on the subway like a fucking idiot. It's a stupid movie. It's a bad movie. 50 seconds.

Also, I don't think so, honey. Anne Hathaway being the best part of the movie when you have all these other scripts. Write better lines for these actresses. Five seconds. Oh, I don't think so, honey. I saw it twice. And we have to be honest about that.

We have to be honest. I don't think so, honey. Honestly, yeah. A movie that I didn't think so, honey. Honestly, yeah. A movie that I didn't really like but I would see again. 100%. Yeah, you're right. We wanted to like it more than it was good. Everyone, please welcome Chris

Laker to the mic. Hello, Chris. Hey. How's it going? It's good. It's good. But I got a pre that I feel very strongly about, but I want to know what's in that fucking bowl.

That's the thing, Chris. That's the thing, Chris. And you know what? You can't have it both ways. We got a bowl. We're going in the bowl. We're going in the bowl. Okay. We're going in the ball Okay So Chris Laker

Your I don't think so honey topic is Natalie Portman And your time starts now That's actually the one I was gonna do anyway I don't think so, honey. Natalie Portman. You made the worst Star Wars movie there ever was. She personally did.

What's that? She personally did. She wrote that screenplay. She was involved. She should have seen that shit. I said, I can't be a part of this. I'm rich already. I was rich as a teenager.

I don't need to ruin Star Wars. 30 seconds. I don't know a lot of movies she was in. But Black Swan, Black Swan I thought I didn't like, but then my girlfriend convinced me that it was good. 15 seconds. But I didn't know.

If I can't tell it's good, I have to be convinced it's good. And I like every movie I ever see. Five seconds. But nothing personally against her because somebody here probably knows her. All due respect. But I still don't think so.

Honey, Natalie Portman. And that's one minute. I love it. I love that. We got the important part, which was those Star Wars movies were not good. Now I want to ask, does anyone here know Natalie Portman?

Wow. You really do? Wow. Wow. What if she was like I do And came forth Like Leigh-Anne rhymes herself Wow

Oh I got chills Chris Laker Thank you And now And then what if she proposed To Chris Laker Oh my god I just want to say

That I thought Natalie Was really good in that movie with... Don't say it, no. With Ashton Kutcher, where they hooked up, but they were just friends, and it got really complicated. I liked that movie. I thought she was good. Well, I have to say, we as a podcast do endorse that movie because it has our uncle Guy Branum in it.

So I have to say I publicly endorse No Strings Attached. Privately I might like Friends of Benefits more. I think I like that one more because Natalie is like a doctor and she's always like

getting texts at work in her like lab coat and that was fun for me as a viewer. Great. All right. Here we go. Continuing with Irene Fagan-Mero.

Irene. Oh, yes. Hello. How are you? Hello. Oh, I'm so good. Thank you so much for having me. Oh, are you kidding me? Thank you for being here. Now, listen, as you probably know by now, there's a multiple options is the trouble and there's also, you know, there's pre-selected.

She's a pre-select. She's a pre-select. And she owns it. Mainly because I was afraid that Ariana Grande is going to be in the bowl. Can I tell you something? I cannot risk. She's in there. I can't risk it.

She's in there anonymously as Ariana. And that might still happen. So think in there mononymously as Ariana. And that might still happen. So think about that potential troll bowlers. But it sounds like we're not going to do that. Yeah, I've got a whole thing planned.

I got a lot to get off my chest. A whole thing. Here we go. Listen, Irene, your I Don't Think So Honey time starts now. I Don't Think So Honey straight men eating ass

and thinking it makes them a fucking ally. Yes. I want to be clear. I am an ass-eating stan. But it does not absolve you of your straight male sins, honey. Okay, okay. And I don't think so, honey. Okay, okay, and I don't think so, honey.

This coming after years of women being like, can you please, for the love of God, find my clit. And lick it. And they're just like, okay, yeah, cool. I'll eat your butt. Are you fucking kidding me? And I don't think so, cool. I'll eat your butt. 15 seconds. Are you fucking kidding me?

And I don't think so, honey. This is another gorgeous example of men just refusing to listen to what women so clearly and directly ask of them. Five seconds. Like, we're like, hey, what if you just stopped raping us at an alarming rate?

And they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool, cool, cool, cool. Listen to this. Ladies night at the club. Buy one, get one free jello shots, huh? And that's one minute! I don't think so! Irene Vegan Barrow!

Okay. We could get into a symposium right now on butt eating. And that would be helpful. And that would be helpful, but that'll be a talk back after the show in the bar. Great. Everyone, please welcome Celestium! Oh, I love that. I love that.

I love that piece. I love that piece. I love that piece. Thanks, boys. I love that piece. I love that piece. Thanks, boys. I'm addicted to that piece. Addicted to the piece. Listen, Celeste. Yes?

What I love about this night is it offers a choice. And one of the choices is the troll ball, and the other choice that's offered is the, of course, preselected by all fucking means. Take a load off. It's here. Take a load off. There's a stool. It's here. I'm not going to sit. Absolutely. Have a stool moment. Now tell us, pray

tell. Is it going to be pre-select or? It's not the bowl. Okay. It's not the bowl or it's not pre-select? It's the bowl. It's not the bowl, Matt. I love her. Okay, then fine. Okay, Celestium,

your preselected topic is preselected and your time starts now. I do not think so, honey. Anyone who just this year discovered that Asians are hot? We, uh, we didn't want you to know.

We wanted you to think we had bad skin and small dicks because our moms told us to keep the best things in life for ourselves. That's called strategy. I had to endure being lumped into people of color instead of people. Now I'm supposed to get it wet for a white gay

who says Awkwafina is actually really pretty? 30 seconds. I know that now I'm like gonna get the gig, but Sandra Oh has taught me that being a sexual predator still makes you more likely to win an Academy Award than being Korean. It's too much to ask that I would be crazy. Rich, Asian, and hot.

Are you fucking kidding me? You don't deserve us. Okay? One time I got mistaken for Chloe Kim. She's an Olympic gold medalist. If Asians were allowed to be ugly still, Bowling Yang would be here tonight. And that's one minute. Celeste Yim.

Celeste Yim, give it up! Thanks. Celeste Yim give it up thanks thank you for saying his name thank you I miss him can I say that I love you okay

everyone give it up for this group get all the good juice Andy Ward Addie Weyrich Chris Laker Irene Fagan-Maro, and Celest Yim.

Now, that was startling. That was, I'm shaken. I'm shaken. You didn't say shook. I didn't say shook because that didn't feel right, but I was shaken by that whole thing that just happened.

The whole thing that just happened. The whole group. Honestly, Celeste spoke Bowen's name, and I'm wondering, like, what's going to happen? Are we going to see Bowen show up? I know. For the end of the night. Bowen and Natalie walk in.

Hands, arm in arm, engaged. And they're united. Engaged. And it's a united front. And also, I cannot stop thinking about the guy who told me not to talk, because I'm like, does he hate me? Like, can I get him to like me?

Wait, that guy over there? The guy in the back. I know. I'm addicted. I don't know about him. I'm only sure about, like, one person in the front row. I'm kidding. I'm teasing you.

Okay. We got to move on. He's just teasing you. Look at how many beers I've had. It's on display. you. Okay. He's just teasing you. He's just teasing you. Look at how many beers I've had. It's on display. Okay. Okay. This next group is called

The Duchesses of Sussexes. Yeah. Please welcome Lauren Magnuson. Please welcome Kiki Michelson. Amanda Schechtman. Patricia Sabulis, Rachel Rosenthal, and Katie Berry.

Each and every one, the Duchesses of Sussexes. Wow. Wait, can I say one thing? The reason this is a group is because today on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Thanks. I do watch ABC during the daytime as we know. Can I say one thing? The reason this is a group is because today on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, thanks, I do watch ABC during the daytime,

as we know. The question was, what is Kate, not Kate Middleton, what is Meghan Markle's title? And the guy got it wrong. Wow. He guessed,

he guessed the Baroness of Bedmingshire. Did he talk through it? He talked all the way through it. Okay. So he gave it a shot. He talked through it. As a loser on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, I know that it's hard.

It's true. The Real Housewives of New York City are back for another bite of the Big Apple. Look who it is. Joined by elite new friends. Rebecca Minkoff. Have you ever heard of her? But things could change in a New York Minute.

She had this wild night and ended up getting pregnant by some other guy. What? You told her? Not today, Satan. Not today. The Real Housewives of New York City, all new Tuesdays at 9 on Bravo or stream it on City TV+. This week, Charlamagne Tha God sits down with Vice President Kamala Harris for a conversation you don't want to miss.

Listen, I feel very strongly I need to earn every vote, which is why I'm here having this candid conversation with you and your listeners. They tackle the big questions, politics, policy, and what's next for the country. I am running to be president for everybody, but I'm clear-eyed about the history and the disparities that exist for specific communities, and I'm not going to shy away from that. Don't miss this in-depth interview with Charlemagne Tha God and Vice President Kamala Harris, only on The Breakfast Club. Catch the full interview now on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hey everybody, it's Matt Rogers. Back when I was a server, I was one bad day away from a huge personal crisis. Thankfully, Giving Kitchen is here to serve those that serve us. Giving Kitchen is a nonprofit helping any food service workers. That's givingkitchen.org slash H-E-L-P. Together, we are Giving Kitchen. We help food service workers. Time for spooky season. Now I know you've probably been wandering the mortal plane, wondering when I'd be back to fill your ears with deliciously unsettling stories.

Well, wonder no more. Because we've got a ghoulishly good lineup ready for you. Let's just say things get a bit extra. We're talking spirits, demons, and the kind of supernatural chaos that'll make your Halloween season complete. You know how much I love this time of year. It's the one time I'm actually on trend. So grab your pumpkin spice, dust off that Ouija board, just don't call me unless it's urgent, and tune in for new episodes every week. Remember,

October 22nd, the veils are thin, the stories are spooky, and your favorite ghost host is back and badder than ever. Listen to Haunting starting on October 22nd on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Anyway, everyone, please welcome to the mic, Lauren Magnuson. We asked for a look and there's a look. And that's a look. A wild look appeared. All right, here we go. So Lauren.

Hi. Hi. You have a phone in your hand with, I would assume, notes on it for a pre-prepared I Don't Think So Honey. Just headlines. Just headlines.

One word. I love that. Okay, so listen. It's a pre-prepared topic, yes? Here we go. It's a pre-prepared topic. Lauren, your I Don't Think So Honey time begins now i don't

think so honey people who pretend that the opening lines to the song circle of life aren't real words okay we all love the lion king but it is not nostalgic and fun to sputter out nonsense it's embarrassing okay we know that you don't speak zulu. That is not give you permission to tilt your head back and scream, no. And then a bunch of sounds that you made up in your head, like it doesn't matter. Okay, have some fucking respect. It's a real language. And by the way, the translation is actually quite beautiful. By the way, you wouldn't know that. Because you've never given yourself a courtesy Google check, have you, bitch? All right, you love to write it out too, okay?

You have an Instagram of your friend holding out your feral cat like, oh my God, it looks like Simba. No, you write out a caption that has an incoherent mix of vowels and consonants and all caps, I don't think so, honey. If you think that it's too much work to learn more than a hakuna matata in one movie, think again, bitch. I don't think so. Yes.

And that's one minute. Lauren Magnuson. Those are words. Those are words. I have been guilty of that. You've been guilty of going, aha, simenya. I've been guilty of that. But I definitely learned tonight.

Yeah. And that's what's important. How to be moving forward. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that is what this whole night's about. And the whole night has been about education and will continue to be about education. Get to the mic, Kiki Mikkelsen!

Now, here's the real tea. Here's the real tea. I just mentioned millionaire Kiki and I Were on the same episode Of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire Castmates Castmates

And I won $5,000 And she won $100,000 What? True True story She is smarter than I You want to know something fun About that $100,000?

It's gone no goodbye bye money bye money bye money okay so Kiki listen

I love it you've always made great decisions before as we see in your tenure on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire and even in just the choice to wear a tasteful choker

as I think yes I love the choke thank you a neck belt a neck belt thank A neck belt. Thank you, Slay. All right, so listen. We have, of course, the option of the troll bowl, your celebrated improviser, or we can

do, you know, the preselected. It has been preselected. I love that. Kiki, here it goes. Here's your I don't think so, honey, and your time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Not looking incredibly hot after losing a ton of weight. I've lost

over 100 pounds in the last two years. Yeah, you can clap about it. And my body looks like a melted candle. I knew I wouldn't look like a Victoria's Secret model, but I did think I'd look like an Aerie model. Those bitches aren't airbrushed.

I don't think so, honey. I ran the New York City fucking marathon. And my... Thank you. 30 seconds. Thank you. And my tits look like pancakes with pencil erasers attached to them

that point at the floor. I don't think so, honey. I haven't had full calorie ice cream in two years. Just Halo Top that tastes like someone thought about ice cream and burped in your face. 15 seconds! And this loose skin on my stomach hangs down so far that you can't see my pussy from the front. I don't think so, honey, you can't see my pussy from the front.

Five seconds! Kiki Migos and everybody Thank you Amazing Thank you. Amazing. Amazing. Thank you. Amazing. Unbelievable. This night.

This night. Is scorching us all. It's crazy. I'm going to continue to scorch with my sister, Amanda Shetman. Hello, queen. Hello. I just want to first say, I think my group is like a whole vibe.

Yes. I'm obsessed. The group is a vibe. You guys, the Duchess is a sausage. I'm obsessed with them all. Amanda. Hi. So I have a question,

and I think you'll know what that question is. Me? Oh my god. They love you. Thank you. Alright, so listen. We have either a troll poll or a pre-selected topic. That's the choice. I'm literally going to read my notes like word for word. It's going to be so, I'm going to be attached. We love that. Here's Amanda Shackens. I don't think so, honey.

Her time starts now. I don't think so, honey. The Instagram explore page? Yes yes none of us are talking about this why it's very dark it's quietly quietly ruining my life um you don't know me okay you're like most of the men i've dated okay this identity that you have curated for me is based on lies this is about you sweetie sweetie. Who is she? You actually are different from them, though, because sometimes you make me cum.

Fuck me with memes. I'm absolute trash. 30 seconds. One time you showed me a video of a woman getting a fun haircut by having it set on fire. You are the id of the fucking internet. Based on your algorithm,

you have pinned me somewhere between gay teen and a middle-aged woman from Florida. You're where my depression begins and ends. And while we're on the topic, I don't think so, honey.

Social media exacerbating depression. Five seconds. You are a collage of shame. No thank you, my Instagram explore page. You are Pinterest without consent. You! No thank you, my Instagram explore page! You are Pinterest without consent! You are my best friend and my worst fucking enemy!

Yes! Amanda Schechtman! Amanda Schechtman! Honestly, yes! And they are listening to us. For sure. Because I said the words Patriciaarkson near my phone one time and it was like do you like patricia clarkson and i would never say patricia clarkson

and this is not the only clarkson i say is thanks, bitch. I once said near my phone that I needed new underwear, and now all of my ads are like softcore porn. That is different. That's a different experience, but I knew that

since my experience was different, I had to share it. And thank you for that. And the night continues to be about education. Everyone, please welcome my friend Patricia Sabulis to the mic. Giving you arms. Hey, bitch. This, the Duchesses, is a girl group. This is a girl group.

This is what Danity Kane should have been. This is what Danity Kane should have been. This is the Danity Kane we deserved. This is a girl group. This is what Danity Kane should have been. This is what Danity Kane should have been. This is the Danity Kane we deserved. This is Little Mix. This is the Danity Kane, but everyone's Aubrey. Wow. And I think

it's a good thing. Showstopping famously about being in a car and not at a club. Showstopping is a song about being a woman and yes, in a car. Not in a club. Woman in cars. You got a song for you.

Yes. So Patricia, I'm here and I'm asking you, is it pre-selected or troll ball? It's gotta be pre-selected because I'm surprised that no one's done this yet. Wow.

Okay. Here we go. Hot take coming. Here we go. Patricia, your I Don't Think So Honey time starts now. I Don't Think So Honey,

Amanda Bynes. Wow. We were all rooting for you. Listen, we loved Gouda, and we all were confused as to whether we wanted Colin Firth to fuck us or be our dad. Listen, you did not start Channing Tatum's career. Channing Tatum's dick started his career. Okay? Listen, what Britney Spears did when she shaved her head, what that did to gay men

is what Amanda Bynes' tweets did to white women who were growing up being quirky and wanting to be funny. Okay, bitch? So, you know, when she was like, oh, I want Drake to murder my pussy, we were all like, leave like, oh, I want Drake to murder my pussy, we were all like, leave Amanda alone!

We all want Drake to murder our pussy. Then she got cheek piercing, so we were like, listen, woman's right to choose. 15 seconds. And then she was like,

Michelle Obama's ugly, and we were like, no! Five seconds. You see this hole? This is where Dustin Diamond, Macaulay Culkin, and the fucking

Olsen twins go. You go in there. You don't come? This is where Dustin Diamond, Macaulay Culkin, and the fucking Olsen twins go. You go in there. You don't come back. In your own fucking words, bring in the dancing fucking lobsters. I don't think so, honey. Amanda Bynes. That's what's in it. Patricia.

Wow. Wow. And here I thought Amanda Bynes was back, and now I'm convinced that she's not. Yeah, I don't know that she's back. We can't have her. We can't. But it makes me sad. It makes me sad.

No, Pat. It makes... No, no. I need to go to a space and get okay. You need to go to the space? I need to go get okay, yeah. You need to go get okay. And while you're getting okay, please welcome Rachel Rosenthal to the mic.

Hi. Come on, hi. Oh my god, I've learned so much tonight. I know nothing about pop culture. Well, I'm guessing you're not doing the bowl then. Let's do the fucking bowl. Yes! But first,

but first, but first, but first, but first, but first. I wish I had a ring on me, because Kiki Michelson, you're my fucking hero. Oh my god. Will you? She said yes! Oh my god.

Wow, that was so important and special. Oh my god, that payoff was huge. We're going into the bowl, and I'm picking it out right now. God, I hope Henry Winkler hasn't been chosen yet. Okay. Rachel, this is really good for you. Here we go. Oh God, I doubt it.

I know you know this. Really? We know that you know this. Your, I don't think so, honey, troll bowl topic, and it's seasonal and topical as they've all been. My stomach is rumbling. Is Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. And your time starts now.

Fuck you, Rudolph the motherfucking Red-Nosed Reindeer. I'm a Jew. My nose matters. All right, all right. I don't think so. I don't think so, honey.

I don't think so. You couldn't think so, honey. I don't think so. You couldn't see. They couldn't see. Anyone can take their fucking iPhone out. Something is wrong with your face. Also, why is your voice so high? 30 seconds. It's just so high.

And also, how many songs do you need? Okay? And come on. Name one fucking reindeer game. One. Name one. All right, what? Scrabble? No, that's a human game.

15 seconds. That's a human game. You know what? I don't think so, honey. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. First off, Rudolph, dumb name. Call yourself Rudy. Five name. Call yourself Rudy. Five seconds. Call yourself

Ruro. Give yourself something snappy. I will find my own way home. Thank you very much. And that's one minute. I mean. That was amazing. Rachel Rosenthal, that's a true professional

troll ball. That is a true professional troll ball. And coming to the mic is the hurricane that I know. And her name is Katy Berry.

Touch me. Katy Berry, I fucking love you. I fucking love you. I fucking love you. And by the way, I also won five grand on Millionaire. Shut up. I buried the fucking footage because it's embarrassing. Wow, it's so embarrassing.

Did you lose a lot of money and then get bumped down? I got up to like the 10,000 question and bumped down, so it really wasn't that far off. Han, ass geeks, I was up to the 20K number and fucking spelled something wrong and got bumped. She won $100,000. I know her, bitch. She spent it all.

I'm so sick of being the only person not on Millionaire. I'm so sick of it in this town. It's easy. You can't win in this town. You can't win in this town. By the way, really quick about education, I just want to say I'm really sorry.

I have in my life posted two dead bird photos to Instagram. Okay. I can't believe I got called out. I was like, oh my God, I'm sorry. I'll never do it again. And I'm a better person. Rachel Sennett is shook.

Fucking shook. All right. Listen, Katy Berry, we have a trouble here. We also have a beautiful, gorgeous mind full of, I know, grievances. So what are we doing? Make your own choice. Oh, I'm getting peer pressured into the bowl. I empower you to make

your own choice. What the fuck? I had it pre-selected, but I feel like... Katie, I... Katie. What the fuck? Wow, Katie, they want you to do the bowl. Well, I guess I'm doing the bowl because everyone's screaming at me to do bowl. Oh my god. I had one selected in my mind.

Wow. Okay. Jesus Christ, what the fuck am I thinking? screaming at me to do pole. I had one selected in my mind. Wow. Jesus Christ, what the fuck am I thinking? This is insane. We are very topical and seasonal this season. We're very topical and seasonal. Your I don't think so honey trouble topic is the North Pole. And your time starts now.

I don't think so honey North Pole. The only North Pole I want is my boyfriend's hard dick. Fuck that candy cane shit. That's a patriarchal society led by one fat white man with a big old beard. Shave your shit, Santa. I don't like all that hair. Damn, Mrs. Claus just sitting at home baking cookies and shit and reindeer flying around. And you've enslaved an entire society of little people

who are just working their fucking fingers to the bone for our stupid consumerist children so they can have their fucking iPhones for Christmas. Fuck you, North Pole. Fuck you, North Pole. You know what? Global warming's coming for you, North Pole. It's coming. You're reaping what you sow.

Your industrial fucking war complex, it's melting the fucking land you live on. And you're going down. Sin, I want to fucking cook you on a spit and eat you. I'm gonna fucking chew on your crystals.

I fucking hate the North Pole. Oh, I'm gonna... And that's... I don't think so, honey. And that's one minute. That's one minute. Queen Diva, Katie Berry. Queen Diva.

Oh, my God. Thank you for pushing me to have that experience. Thank you, audience. And give it up for the Duchesses of Sussexes. Thank you for giving me that. Lauren Magn for the Duchesses of Sussexes. Lauren Magnuson, Kiki Mickelson, Amanda Schechtman, Patricia Sabulis, Rachel Rosenthal, and the Queen Diva, Katy Berry.

Oh, my God. That was horny. That was horny. That was so horny. Also, can I say, if the North Pole votes, they go red. Wow. And that's a joke writer. A lot of conservative people up there at the North Pole.

Just saying. Traditionalists. Yeah. White. White. It's very white there. Now, you were very shook by one of those I don't think so honeys about Amanda Bynes. Oh, yeah. It. White. It's very white there. Now, you were very shook by one of those I don't think so honeys about Amanda Bynes.

Oh, yeah. I was affected, for sure. You were affected by that. I just, um... I just feel like if I could have just met her earlier. This is so crazy. This is not my fault.

It's not my business. But I can't help but feel partially responsible. I could have done something. But that's, you know, that not my fault. It's not my business, but I can't help but feel partially responsible. I could have done something. But that's, you know, that's my shit. I think that you're wrong. It was your responsibility. And actually, we're going to move on and not talk about this anymore.

Okay. I struggle with that. And let's move on. Okay. Everyone, give it up for this group, which is called The Boys In My Band. How do we feel? Oh, sorry.

It's The Boys In My Band. Ha ha. Give it up for Kevin A. Give it up for Alex Gibson. Give it up for John Graziano. Give it up for Taylor Rivers. And give it up for John Graziano give it up for Taylor Rivers and give it up for Sam Morrison yes I put this group together

hi boys I feel like I'm on Gay Bachelor it's very much that there will be a proposal tonight there will be another proposal tonight that's the reveal there will be a second proposal for a marriage

tonight at this show. Yes. Everyone, please welcome Kevin A. to the mic. Hi. Hey, Kevin. Now, we talked backstage

and you want to preface your I don't think so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen up. A couple nights ago, I had a very vivid dream about this night. Oh, my God.

And you were there? Pat, you were there, but you weren't sitting there. Okay. So in the dream, I picked the Trouble. Okay. And in the Trouble, I got Andy Garcia. Andy Garcia. Yes.

And I need to make my dream come true. You want to do Andy Garcia? I'm going to do Andy Garcia. I'm not going to have sex with him. Right. But I will... Do him in terms of the show. I'm going to be a little bit more punty about him.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. A pre-selected from a troble from my dream. Yes! I am obsessed with this. This is Kevin A's I Don't Think So Honey and his time starts now. Okay, a grown man named Andy? I don't think so, honey. Unless you're making

pop art out of Campbell's soup cans or making old rich ladies fight on TV, you need to be called Andrew. You're a man of a certain age, Andy Garcia. Come on. Okay, so here's a fun fact about Andy Garcia. Educate. His first acting role was in the pilot episode of Murder, She Wrote.

Oh. Yeah. I learned that today. And I think I know what happened. He's on set. Angela Lansbury calls him Andy. And it got stuck. Yeah.

And you know what? If that's the case, I don't care if you're a dame. I don't think so, honey. You cannot be renaming our Latino actors. 15 seconds. And we have to talk about Mamma Mia 2. Yeah. Fernando, Cher, Abba, they sing about that. Andy Garcia plays talk about Mamma Mia 2 yeah Fernando, Cher, Abba

they sing about that Andy Garcia plays Fernando in Mamma Mia 2 so now I have to picture Andy Garcia every time I hear that song 5 seconds no

that's Jimmy Schmitz for me yes he was in the season 3 episode of Murder She Wrote who at 63 should be called James oh

but you know Angela Lansbury called him Jimmy and once again Dame Angela renames our Hispanic beloved actors to kids' names. And that's one minute. One minute. And it was an education. I can't.

And we can't have Angela Lansbury just doing whatever the fuck she wants. She's not Ellis Island. No. Angela Lansbury needs to be doing what I want, which is being in the Beauty and the Beast remake because I didn't need whatever Emma Thompson was doing. Wow. See me after. Yes.

See him after. Why was the song so slow? The Beauty and the Beast song in the movie was slow. I didn't see that film. Okay. But what I will say is it's one of the greatest honors in our culture to be in someone's dream. And

I feel honored to have been in your dream. Is there going to be a proposal right now? Wow. Okay. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's okay. Oh, my God. Oh my God. It's okay. Oh my God, you don't have a ring?

Just do it. Just do it with the Nicorette gun. With my nicotine. Will you be on my podcast? Yes. It's a yes. He said yes. And most people don't realize.

Kevin is going to be on the Toughest Way podcast. And Kevin actually asked my dad if he could ask me to be on his podcast. And my dad actually said yes. And I love traditional, and that was important to me. So I'm glad he did it the way he did it. Talking about other podcasts is erasure, and we're going to move on. All right, here we go. Welcome Alex Gibson to the mic.

I like this outfit. I was told to prepare a look. You know what's up? You know what's good? Okay, here we go. Alex. Yes. I'm excited to hear what you're doing. Oh, well, true story.

Okay. I had two different prepared ones that were both done previously tonight. Shut up. That's hard. So even though I famously do not know celebrities and the terror fills my blood. Oh, I love that. I'm going to go bowl.

Oh, and my hand's in there. It feels good. It feels so good to have my hand in here. And as I pull it out, you know this celebrity. Bring it on. Your troll bowl, I don't think so, honey, topic is

Mark Wahlberg. I don't think so, honey, Mark Wahlberg. Your Hulk was middling at best. Was he in Hulk? Fuck you for making me think you were the Hulk, Mark Wahlberg. Because you know what?

You're an average white guy with brown hair. Yes. And every average white guy with brown hair has played the Hulk. Mark Wahlberg has done the following. Under that one. Mark Wahlberg, you seem like a straight juice bag. Mark Wahlberg, you were Marky Mark. Oh, you had a big penis, but it was fake.

And that was a lie to fifth grade me who looked up a Google image of you with that giant penis and expected that to be how they all looked. 15 seconds. Fuck you for lying to me. I have a query, beeswax. Why did you have a rap career? That's appropriation, boo. Five seconds.

Marky Mark, suck my dick. That's one minute, folks. You know what? That was an impressive I don't think so honey because for the first 10 seconds, we didn't even know what mark we were talking about. And then in the last 50 seconds, we got a full I don't think so honey.

Yes. Just to be celebrated. Yes. And I didn't Think So Honey. Yes. Just to be celebrated. Yes. And I didn't know about that. I didn't know about... The fake penis? Penis. Picture at all.

So now... It wasn't a picture, bitch. It was a live action moment. Wow. He whipped out a fake cock in Boogie Nights. Oh, I didn't know about that. I didn't know about that.

But also, the movie Ted was very bad and not enough people talk about that. And also, he famously said he very bad, and not enough people talk about that. And also, he famously said he could have, like, stopped 9-11 or something. He's like, if I was on the plane, that wouldn't have happened. Don't get him mad at me.

He said it. Okay, that's how I feel about Amanda Bynes. Is that okay? Coming to the mic is John Graciano. Hello, John. Hello, John. Hey, John. It's lovely to see you. Hi. So much for having me. So are we doing a pre-selected topic or the

troll bowl? So, okay, I too have some context to add to this. I wanted to do the troll bowl so badly. Yeah. Because I love, I know I love Danger. Let's hear her. I had something traumatic happen to me on the subway. Today?

No, God, no, I wouldn't be here. Earlier this week. Right. And my therapist canceled on me, so I'm here to help. It's okay, he gets it. He doesn't charge me nearly as much as he should, so he gets a buy. All right, great. So here we are.

We're going to act as the therapy. Thank you. And this is I Don't Think So, Honey, John Graziano, and your time starts now. I Don't Think So, Honey, people who clip their fingernails on the subway. Where the fuck did you come from? We are on the A train. That does not stand for anything goes. It stands for act like a fucking

human. I was on, I swear to God, I was on the C train the other day. Has anyone here ever been on the C train before? Don't ever go back on the fucking C train. I was on the train and they stopped it because of a sick passenger. Give me a

diagnosis. Give me a diagnosis. Give me a diagnosis. You know why? Because I'm now trapped underground with a woman clipping her fingernails on my car. That's a sick passenger. Now I think every time they say we're sold because there's a sick passenger, I'm like, okay, this person's not having a heart attack. I'd stop for a heart attack.

You can stall my car for a heart attack. Five seconds. Now when they say there's a sick passenger, I just imagine some woman clipping her fingernails makes me go fucking mad. I don't think so, honey. Clip your fingernails on the goddamn train. And that's one minute. Don't do that. Don't do it. Are you fucking crazy? I don't do it.

Though I will say I do crazy shit on the trains. Like what, bitch? I become something on the trains. I don't clip my fingernails or my toenails, but... Yeah, I would hope not or your toenails. But I become someone else on the trains. I go into a fugue state. So you're saying you can't be held responsible

for your behavior on the train? Yeah, and I think that that would hold up in a court of law. If I'm on the trains, I'm not present in myself. It's martial law when Pat Regan is on the trains. All right, everyone, please welcome, is that right, martial law? Did I use that right? Or do I not know my words?

It doesn't. Okay, well, fuck you. Everyone, please welcome Taylor Rivers! In from Toronto, in from Toronto, Taylor Rivers, my friend from Toronto in from Toronto Taylor Rivers my friend from Toronto rumors are true talk to me about

your decision pre-select been thinking about it for a while okay he's had this on deck so Taylor your I don't think so honey

time starts now I don't think so honey the theme of my high school prom being old Hollywood glamour sorry the only thing old Hollywood about my high school was like I don't think so, honey. The theme of my high school prom being old Hollywood glamour. Sorry, the only thing old Hollywood about my high school was like,

I didn't feel safe to come out. Also, you know whose idea that was? It was like this weird horny girl named Rachel who was like on prom committee and like got a typewriter. So she felt like she was like born in the wrong decade. My high school prom was so not old Hollywood glamour that I literally got puked on on a 50-person party bus by a woman named Kelsey

who had a two-year-old at home. She went on to get breathalyzed and thrown in a cop car, but you know what? Let's celebrate how beautiful Judy Garland was when she was a kid. Let's focus on that. Our prom committee was literally like, you guys are horrible kids.

No one's graduating. But like, you can't deny that Audrey Hepburn wasn't a fucking icon. Five seconds. Also, I don't think so any Marilyn Monroe. R.I.P. not to be a bitch. She seemed really stupid. I think if you like Marilyn Monroe, you also think that brunch is fancy.

And that's one minute. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so.

I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so.

I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so.

I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so.

I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so.

I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. Hi. Hi. Hi, darling. I'm still horny since he said brunch, but what's up? Welcome Sam Morrison to the mic! Come on, leather jacket! Hi. Hi, darling. I'm still horny since he said brunch, but what's up? All right, here we go. Listen, what's up is we have a decision here to make.

It's the pre-selected thing, or, you know, we have a trouble here. You know, I was going to do... I have a pre-selected. I was going to do having seven... No, no, stop it. I got shit to talk about, and I'm, like,lected. I was going to do having seven. No, no, stop it. I got shit to talk about. And I'm like so drunk. But I wanted to mention having seven white men on a stage at the same time. But that felt like a little much to talk about in front of everybody.

Oh, my God. Thank you so much for having me. I'm kidding. Bye. That's my time and scene. See you later. Preselect. It's preselect.

Okay, cool. Perfect. So, Sam, your time and scene. See you later. It's pre-select. Okay, cool. Perfect. So, Sam, your time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Straight people taking the word daddy. Because y'all are not just talking about some adorable little 28-year-old porn star daddy. No, no, no, no, no. I want somebody who's like confused by his iPhone.

Do you understand? Yeah. A father with a baby. I want Peter Griffin from Family Guy. I want an old, fat, hairy daddy bear. Don't come for my word, you psychos. Okay? That is, okay. and before you judge me,

just know I don't say daddy because I want to fuck my dad. I say daddy because I want to fuck your dad. 15 seconds. Okay? Oh, and it's not like straight people nicknames are any better. You say what? Like baby?

Baby? What is that? What? Five seconds. Do you guys know what a baby is? Have you ever seen a baby? They're so like pudgy and illiterate at like best. That's what a baby is. Stay away from my word, you weirdos.

Bye-bye. And that's what it is. Sam Morrison. Give it up for DePoison, my band. Ha-ha. Kevin A., Alex Gibson, John Graciano, Taylor Rivers, and Sam Morrison. Thank you, Hot Boys. Thank you, Hot Boys.

Kiss is back. Literally, Kiss is back. I love how they... Literally, if you want, Kiss is back. I like how the group of all the gays, like every single one, was like, let me tell you the story of the journey of how I came to my decision tonight. I love that.

Educational, I'm telling you, it continues on and who better to educate than white gay men? I truly. We have a story to tell. So listen.

All right, this next group is called Have You Heard of Christmas? Which is also a plug. Oh, you stupid bitch! You're such a stupid bitch. For my show at the Duplex playing in December. There's many dates you can come see. Thank you.

Everyone, please welcome Chanel Ali, my co-host. Please welcome Yasmin Garza. Please welcome Erica Hernandez. Welcome Ariel Gitlin. Welcome Suni Reyes. And welcome Chet Siegel.

Now this is the last group of the night. We are looking good. Let's bring to the mic Chanel Ali. Wow, that mic is very high. They made that stand very high for you. Chanel Ali! Wow, that mic is very high. They made that stand very high for you. Is she on? Is my mic on?

Oh, there she is. Can you guys hear me? Yes! Yeah, we're doing it! Chanel, a fan favorite already! I missed you guys. Yes. Here we go, Chanel.

Are we doing a pre-prepared topic or a troll bowl topic? Oh, man. I'm worried that something in that bowl is something black people don't know about. I already got a thing, so I'm going to do my thing. Do your thing. Chanel, at least. I don't think so, honey. Your time starts now. I don't think so, honey pigs in a blanket. Yes. It's very divisive, you know? You think that's what they call them,

but not the one percenters. Not in their homes, their gated communities. Not pigs in a blanket, no. They call them crescent dogs. Crescent dogs, and it's that type of elitist dough activity that's responsible for unemployment in the Midwest. I'm sick of it. I don't think so, honey. Pigs in a blanket, not bacon,

not sausage, just pig. Just pig wrapped in a buttery flaky crust just because you want to get married. I don't think so, honey. 15 seconds. You and I both know your fiance, Paolo, is gay. And just because you want to bask in the denial,

I got to clog my arteries? I don't think so, honey. Five seconds. I'm done. Thank you. Chanel Ali, everyone. It's actually rule of culture number 17. You and I both know your fiance, Paolo,

is gay. I love that. Everyone, welcome to the mic, Yasmin Garza! Hello. Hi. How you doing? Good. It's Hasmeen. Hasmeen. I'm so sorry. I don't think so, honey. People who

mispronounce my name. I don't think so, honey. I don't think so, honey. Me. Hasmeen. I'm so sorry. I don't think so, honey. People who mispronounce my name. I don't think so, honey. Them and I don't think so, honey. Me. Hasmeen. All right. So we have a troll bowl decision or preselected? No, preselected.

Preselected. Hasmeen Garza, here we go. Your I Don't Think So Honey time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Ariana Grande's ponytail. Oh. What are you doing, bitch? You call yourself an artist?

What are you doing? Innovate. I'm not asking you to get bangs. I'm not asking you to get layers. Just take out the goddamn ponytail. What the fuck? She acts like? Dude, she likes her ponytails the same way she likes

her men. High as fuck. 30 seconds. High as fuck. Has she even gone through puberty yet? She has no hips. She took out her fucking Mickey Mouse ears.

Take out the goddamn ponytail already. 50 seconds. Are you an artist? I want to see it, Ariana Grande. She has long, brown, shiny hair. And she's putting it up in a ponytail. That's like having a fat ass and wrapping a flannel around your waist every day. Five seconds.

I don't think so, honey. That's good. All right, Hasmine Garza. I think you got her. You got her. It is a really, really high pony. It's so high. I do think that says something about the world.

It does. What is art? I don't know. Everyone, please welcome Erica Hernandez. Hey, Erica. Hi. Listen, we have a troll bowl here full of topics or your beautiful brain with whatever's in it. Hey Erica Hi Listen We have a troll bowl here

Full of topics Or your beautiful brain With whatever's in it Thank you for calling My brain beautiful I have image issues So that's good No I thank you for the choice

But I'm gonna do A thing You're gonna do a thing Yeah Translated to preselected Sorry yeah Alright here we go. So, Erica, your time starts now.

I don't think so, honey. You men who gel their hair back. What are you hiding under there? Why? What do you have to protect your head from with all that gel? You want to protect your head? Wear a fucking helmet. No, from with all that gel. You want to protect your head? Wear a fucking helmet. No, that's too much gel.

If you take a picture and the flash reflects off of the top of your head, that's a problem. And you know what? I know you think it looks all wet, like you put water in it, but I know your secret. You didn't shower. You put some water on your hand, and then you put a whole thing of gel on top of it. That's not clean.

15 seconds. The guys who don't gel their hair are the same guys who wear a whole bunch of Axe and DJ and show their chest hair, which isn't gelled. There's only one thing. There's only one thing I want to see. Five. Hard on a man when I walk up to him, and it's not on top of his head. It's his abs, but also his dick. That's what's in it.

I'm sorry. Erica Hernandez. Oh, my God. Unbelievable. And now, please welcome Ariel Gidlin. Hi. Hi! Hi. Hi. Hi.

All right, here we go. We're doing either a pre-selected topic or, you know, there is the troll bowl here. Pre for she. Pre for she. Hashtag pre for she. And here we go. Arielle Gitlin, your time starts now.

I don't think so, honey Ansel Elgort. When I saw the Fault in Our Stars, I was happy when your character died because I didn't get to see your stupid fucking face anymore. I don't think so, honey Ansel Elgort. You think you're cool because you got a Golden Globe nomination for Baby Driver? Well, maybe they should have given it to your stunt double who probably actually did all the work. LaGuardia High School, do you even have a driver's license?

Anyone could have played that role if they just put on Ray-Bans and headphones, okay? I don't think so, honey. Ansel Elgort, you're not an EDM musician. You're a rich kid with a laptop. 15 seconds. I don't think so. Ansel Elgort, you're a bad influence on Timothee Chalamet.

Five seconds. I don't think so, honey. Ansel Elgort, I fucking think you bombed in West Side Story and you haven't even filmed it yet. One minute. That's one minute. Ariel Gitlin. bombed in West Side Story and you haven't even filmed it yet! One minute! Ariel Gitlin! Unbelievable. And now, please welcome Suni Reyes!

Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Oh, the look is present. Yes! Hello, Suni. Now I have a question for you. Is it the troll bowl or pre-selected? Pre-selected.

Pre-selected. Suni Reyes, your time starts now. I don't think so, honey. West Side Story remake. What? It is happening. Google it. I don't think so, remake. What? It is happening. Google it. I don't think so, honey.

Okay? It was already problematic in 1961, honey. Okay? Every actor that played a Puerto Rican role wore brown face, including Rita Moreno. I don't think so, honey. Yes, wow.

I don't think so. Steven Spielberg, you're bringing back West Side Story without a Puerto Rican writer or a Puerto Rican choreographer. 30 seconds. I don't think so. Steven Spielberg, you're bringing back West Side Story without a Puerto Rican writer or Puerto Rican choreographer. I don't think so, honey. Okay? I don't think so, honey. You're bringing West Side Story a year after that my President Trump threw paper towels at Puerto Ricans that were dying with no electricity or water. I don't think so, honey.

I don't think so, honey. I don't think so. And now you're casting Rita Moreira in a made-up role that doesn't even exist in the original. No, honey, she's a fucking national treasure. Five seconds. You don't hire her back after she won an Oscar for it.

I don't think so, honey. Yes! Suni Reyes! Say no to the West Side Story reboot. And now, with the final I Don't Think So Honey of the night, please welcome my friend, Chet Segal! Oh, my God. Hello, Chet.

Hello. Listen, this is the finale of the night. I want to know, are we doing the bowl, or are we doing I Don't Think So Honey pre-prepared? She came prepared. Okay, here we go. With the prepared I Don't Think So Honey topic, here is Chet Siegel.

Your time starts now. I don't think so, honey. The people who say, oh, don't mind him. He's from another time. Oh. Oh, really? Oh, really? Then show me his motherfucking time machine.

I'm sorry, unless you could show me that time machine. I don't think so, honey. The only thing your racist old ass has in common with Marty McFly is you both have Parkinson's. Aha! Yes! 30 seconds! I said it! Okay.

If you don't think you can behave and exist in 2018 or follow 2018 standards and rules, then fine. You don't get the perks of 2018, okay? You don't get medical advancements. You don't get the perks of 2018, okay? You don't get medical advancements. You don't get dick pills. You don't get Pornhub. If you racist old shit have the balls to tell me that I have a nice nose for a kike,

thank you, then, then you can piss in a bowl next to your bed and die of polio. I don't think so, honey! And that's one minute. Wow. Perfect ending.

Chet Siegel, everyone. And can you give it up for this group? Have you heard of Christmas? Chanel Ali, Yasmeen Garza, Erica Hernandez, Ariel Gitlin, Suni Reyes, and Chet Segal. And with that, we have I Don't Think So Honey

live! Pat Regan, thank you for being with me tonight. No problem. And again, when I first heard Bowen Young was unwilling to do the show, I was like, I hope the show still goes off. And I'm just so glad that it did. I'm so happy that we did this.

In spite of that. Guys, thank you all so much for coming out. Please listen to the podcast and like and subscribe. Thank you so much. Have a great night. We'll see you out there in the bar there's a dj forever dog this has been a forever dog production executive produced by brett boehm joe cilio and alex ramsey for more original podcasts please please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team and liking our page on Facebook. Hey fam, I'm Simone Boyce. I'm Danielle Robay. And we're the hosts of The Bright Side, the podcast from Hello Sunshine that's guaranteed to light up your day. Check out our recent episode with Grammy Award-winning rapper Eve on motherhood and the music industry. No, it's a great, amazing, beautiful thing. There's moms in all industries, very high-stress industries

that have kids all across this world. Why can't it be music as well? Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Oh, hey, it's Teresa, back from the dead again. Just wanted to pop in and let you know that Haunting is back on October 22nd.

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