Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - "I Don't Think So, Honey!" LIVE (Part One)

Episode Date: March 27, 2017

Recorded live in Brooklyn, 50 of New York's best comedians take one minute each to go off on culture. Part One featuring: Sasheer Zamata, Jo Firestone, Aparna Nanchera, Cole Escola, Sudi Green, Anna Drezen, Matteo Lane, Alex Song, Aaron Jackson, Sam Taggart, Blair Socci, Christi Chiello, Catherine Cohen, Becky Chicoine, Alex English, Nicole Conlan, Jon Wan, Rachel Joravsky, Kelley Quinn, Peter Smith, Chris Burns, Amy Jo Jackson, Ryan Leach, Brian Faas, and Carly Ann Filbin. The Las Culturistas Icon Award Recipient: Pat Regan.Recorded 3/21/17 at Littlefield in Brooklyn, NY.LAS CULTURISTAS HAS A PATREON! For $5/month, you get exclusive access to WEEKLY Patreon-ONLY Las Culturistas content!!https://www.patreon.com/lasculturistasCONNECT W/ LAS CULTURISTAS ON FACEBOOK & TWITTER for the best in "I Don't Think So, Honey" action, updates on live shows, conversations with the Las Culturistas community, and behind-the scenes photos/videos:www.facebook.com/lasculturistastwitter.com/lasculturistasLAS CULTURISTAS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASThttp://foreverdogproductions.com/fdpn/podcasts/las-culturistas/ Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home, and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami? Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind-the-scenes stories, crazy details, and honestly, just having a blast talking football.

Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all times, from legends to our buddies to current stars. We're finally answering the age-old question, what kind of dudes are these dudes? We're going to find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple

Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Cheryl Swoops. And I'm Tariqa Foster-Brasby. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women. And T and I have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tariqa Foster-Brasby,

an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. I was a desperate, delusional dreamer.

Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate, delusional dreamer. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. Hey, everybody. Today's show is brought to you by Casper.com. Receive $50 towards any mattress purchase at www.caspertrial.com forward slash Las Culturistas. And by warbyparker.com.

Get a free five-day home try-on at www.warbyparkertrial.com forward slash Las Culturistas. Five pairs, five days, 100% free. Las Culturistas is brought to you by the Forever Dog Podcast Network. Be sure to check out more original comedy podcasts at ForeverDogPodcast.com. All right. Enjoy the show. Come on. Come on. My grandma and your grandma were sitting by the fire

My grandma told your grandma I'm gonna set your flag on fire Talking about here now, here now, here now I go, I go one day Jagamofino, I'm not late Jagamofino Anane Jagamofinane Ding dong! Las Culturistas calling! Thank you guys so much for being here! Let's get it started!

Let's get it started! We're gonna go to the deck. My name is Bowen Yang. And you know what? My name is Bowen Yang And you know what My name is Matt Rogers We are the hosts Of Las Culturistas A podcast that is

One prolonged catchphrase Yes Tempered with like Gasps and squeals Yes definitely And you guys Thank you so much for coming This is beyond

Our wildest dreams here And thank you Littlefield Thank you Forever Dog For producing this event This is fucking crazy. Thank you Blender Skittles for sponsoring us. I had

one demand. And it was regular Skittles that gave me these assorted kind. Who actually listens to the podcast? Who's seeing our fucking faces for the very first time? Okay.

More of you. I love it. What do you think? No, I'm just kidding. No, don't qualify that. Let's just go through some of these flavors and blender Skittles

because I'm not clear on what the concept is here. Lime Blast. Watermelon Green Apple Freeze. Oh, Strawberry Lime Blast. That sounds bad. Oh, sure, sure, sure. These are like things like a bored mother in Tampa is throwing into

a blender and pressing. Very much so. Great. Speaking of Tampa, I just got back. Let me tell you, what a town. Walk us through. I mean, Tampa, the culture there is on fire just as you'd imagine

what are the what are some institutions and actually for listeners of the podcast well I want to tell you the big institution of Tampa is Busch Gardens Tampa

sure and I didn't go which will shock listeners you could have gotten a refrigerator magnet with a tiger on it or something is that what you get

when you go to theme parks no when you go to Busch Gardens there's everyone has that refrigerator magnet with a tiger on it. Is that what you get when you go to theme parks? No, when you go to Busch Gardens, everyone has that refrigerator magnet with a tiger on it that says Busch Gardens. Oh man, I want one of those. But I actually, I can't believe I was in Florida without going to Orlando.

So listen, listeners of the podcast will know that I fucking love Orlando. And did you know, there's going to be Avatar World in Disney? It's opening next month because everyone loves Avatar and everyone remembers the characters.

All your favorite characters will be there, like the blue guy and the blue girl. And blue Sigourney Weaver. And Sigourney Weaver, I think. Who became a tree at the end. Is that what happened? Yes.

Oh, wow. Also, Jimmy Fallon the ride opened up at Universal Studios so we can all ride Jimmy Fallon. If that's what you want. Yeah. Incredible. Seventh grade me would want to. Fully.

Right? Fully. You guys, okay So what we're doing tonight Is a night of 50 I don't think so, honeys Oh my god I don't think so, honey

Is our segment on the podcast Where we each take one minute To rant about something That is bothering us in culture Something that's grinding our gears Grinding our gears Really ticking at our tacks Ticking at our tacks

Really getting at us It's making us itch our skin raw With culture Yeah, I know You know What have been some famous I don't think so honeys? We'll go through some tonight. Yes, we will.

Now, we have 50 unbelievable comedians that are here that are going to be going for it. Yeah, I hear some woos and some whistles for sure. Wait, can I say something? It's been a little while without an episode. We've been on a hiatus, you could say. Big Little Lies. Who is watching? I have

been so pissed off that we haven't had an episode because all I want to talk about is Big Little Lies. I have an argument with my friend Dave, who's Reese. I'm Reese. Do you want to be Reese? Interpret that who's Reese. I'm Reese. Do you want to be Reese? Interpret that however you want.

I'm Reese. I want to be, I full on want to be Laura Dern in that. Yeah. She has this like pint sized wine glass. I said thank you! Yeah. For the fans. Thank you.

For the fans of the pod. For the fans of the show. She has a million phones. She can just toss in a pool. Yeah, oh my God. And then Shailene Woodley threw her phone in the last episode. Everyone's throwing their phones in Monterey. She threw her phone off a cliff.

By the way, speaking of Shailene, what a fucking snooze. No! She is. No. Who cares? This is not going to be the anti-Shailene Woodley Club. Oh my god. I was not gagged for Shailene when it started

because I think she just looks too young to play that part, right? Yeah. I feel like Wendy fucking Williams. Right, co-hosts? No, but I think she looks too young for the part, but then she's been gagging me in the last couple episodes. I don't know.

She can act. She's not fully accessing a different character. She's giving me too much of her real Shailene Woodley life. That's because she's grounded. No, that's because this character, whatever her name is, is like... Her name is Jane. You just know she's a Bernie bro. Hashtag no DAPL.

She is that person in real life. Anyone feel alienated? Oh my god. Let's get political. Why not? BLL. How about LeFou is gay? We all knew that already. No one cares.

No one cares about Beauty and the Beast? Can I tell you? I haven't seen it yet, but I heard the last shot is Audra McDonald just like... So that's how you know that there was a gay director. Yeah. Bill Condon. Bill Condon, director of Dreamgirls. Guys.

It was fun. It was fun. Wait, what else? Oh, breaking culture news. Penelope Cruz is going to play Donatella Versace in American Crime Story, The Murder of Gianni Versace. Can you?

I don't feel like I, no need to elaborate. That's it. I have hope. I have hope for. Are you kidding me? Yeah. It's going to be great.

I'm loving feud. I'm loving. I loved people versus OJ. Oh man. I think Ryan's really just, just batting, batting a thousand. Is that what it is? Batting a hundred will be bad.

Yeah. Okay. I see. Where are my straights? Batting a hundred means you get one hit out of ten, which, you know, you're not helping the team. You only got one hit out of ten.

Unless it's a home run. Guys, let's just move on with the show. We have on an amazing guest before we start The night's proceedings Okay yeah so I guess you guys didn't know this but

I don't think so honey The segment that this whole show is built around It has a national anthem Yeah And it's having it's debut right here tonight And before we hear this A-list Celebrity guest debut the inaugural Performance of I don't think So Honey, the national anthem,

we just want to bring her out and talk to her. We love her so much. Now, let's list the credits, right? Let's go through the credits. Guys, you loved her. She's an Academy Award-nominated actress. Yes. For the kids are all right.

Yes. You loved her in American Beauty. I will sell this house today. Yes, I will sell this house today. Yeah. She was in The Grifters, I think. The Gr house today. She was in The Grifters, I think. The Grifters. She was in The Grifters.

Oh, she is married to Warren Beatty. And guys, she was just recently snubbed for her amazing turn in 20th Century Women. Yes, give it up for 20th Century Women. Now, everyone, please welcome to the stage, Annette Bening. Wow. Annette Bening Annette Bening oh my god yes that one

Annette thank you oh my god what an honor oh yes Annette thank you thank you for being here and you know what thank you for being here to sing the national anthem

I don't think so honey Despite not being a singer Yeah Oh yeah I'm not a really I don't sing really in public No yeah No I But this is really

Kind of encouraging Seeing all of you here I mean you've really created Kind of an amazing Sort of movement Yeah Oh definitely Especially kind of

You know now With what's With what's going on now With just kind of what's going of movement. Yeah, oh, definitely. Especially kind of, you know, now. With what's going on now. With just kind of what's going, right? What are your thoughts about what's going on now? I mean, well, I think all of us here are kind of airing grievances. Yeah, sure. Anything specifically you want to touch on with the current events or no? Well, there's just, right, so much.

Good to see you. So much. So much. I have my gum. This is kind of, I was just, right, so much. Good to see you. So much. So much. I have my gum. This is kind of, I was thinking, right, this is sort of an audio experience. Yeah, right, right. It's kind of why I'm sort of just wrapped.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You look good, so you're making it work. I'll take it. We'll take it, we'll take it. Of course. So, yeah, no one needs to hear me snapping. How was Warren after the mistake at the Oscars? Oh, well, that, you know, stuff goes on,

and then we, you know, we power through, right? We're used to this kind of, you know, in-show business, right, stuff up and down, so. Yeah, right, right. Especially with, like, what's going on. With what's going on. Yeah, there's a lot, right, happening. Yeah.

I don't think it was Warren's fault. I mean, it wasn't Warren's fault because, A, the only shitty thing that Warren did was pass it off to Faye when he couldn't when he just couldn't make make sense

of what was going on so what are you throwing Faye under the bus? no I'm saying I'm throwing Warren under the bus because he was like here you eat it boys will be boys

right kind of boys club guys we could we could get into what's going on right now we could really get into it but I think it's time Annette

to perform the I Don't Think So Honey anthem. Now, I can't wait to hear your interpretation. This is going to be amazing. If you are so moved, please rise for the national anthem of I Don't Think So Honey. Please rise for the I Don't Think So Honey

anthem. I see you over there sitting as I sit. When you feel there are things I sit. When you feel there are things in this world that you hate. When you feel there are things you don't like. When you need to speak

out and you need to shout and you must say whatever you like. I don't think so, honey. I don't think so, child. I don't think so, honey. I don't think so, child. I don't think so, bitch. I don't think so, honey.

I don't think so, child. I don't think so, bitch. Annette Bening! Thank you so much, Annette Bening! Thank you so much, Annette Bening! There's one more thing Annette wants to do. Oh my gosh. It's a picture of Emma Stone at the Oscars. Oh no!

Oh my fucking god! Oh! Wow. Thank you, Annette. Thank you, Annette. Thank you, Annette. That was Sinead. Can I tell you something? I won't have it.

I won't have this anti-Emma Stone bullshit. Oh, come on. I love her. We went to go see 20th Century Women together. You were gagged for filth. It was amazing. Annette was amazing. And look, I mean, that was a Sinead O'Connor moment there.

I loved it. That was the truth. That was the truth. That was the truth. That was culture. Listen, let's get started. You guys ready for I Don't Think So Honey Live? All right, you guys. Here's how it's going to play out.

We got 50 comedians. They're all going to come out and rail against culture for 60 seconds each. Now, they have an option here tonight, though. They can either do their prepared I Don't Think So Honey, which they've prepared a topic to think so honey which they've prepared a topic to rail against or we've carved a bowl and in the bowl are 50 random cultural topics that they do not know they don't know what's in here and they're gonna stand at that mic and if they want we will read one of these aloud and they must rail against it no matter what it is

for 60 seconds negative no matter if it's the best thing in the world, the worst, I don't care. And so another thing we should mention in lieu of a timer because just numerals flashing on a screen just stresses everybody out, right?

So we're not gonna have that and so we're gonna time from the table and then we're gonna hold these paddles up as the clock counts down. They get paddled and if they go over,

they're gonna get water guns. They're getting water guns. I don't care who you are. I don't care if you're the star of Saturday Night Live. I don't care if you're a New York Times bestselling author. You can't touch my hair. I don't care. I don't care who you are.

I don't care if you're our personal idol, Cola Scola. You can't. You cannot go over time idol, Cola Scola. You can't. You cannot go over time. You will get sprayed. You will get sprayed, and here are the paddles. You've got 30 seconds left, 15 seconds left, five, and that's one minute. Okay, you guys. You guys, all right, so very quickly, we're going to do an example of an I Don't Think So Honey. All right, should I go first?

You go first. All right, I'm going to the mic. Great. And just out of your periphery, just check out the time. All right, and also, you know, we have our cowbell there. Okay, I'm ready.

This is Matt Rogers, I Don't Think So Honey. Time starts now. I Don't Think So Honey, seafood restaurants who don't give you the right tools to crack open your crab. I went down to Tampa Bay,

and I went to a crab shack, and you think a coastal place is going to do the right thing. I have cuts on my thumb because they didn't give me a sheller, honey. I don't think so, honey. If you give me just a lobster cracker, that is not going to work for crab. That's why they call it a lobster cracker. You need to give me a sheller. You need to give me a sharp knife.

And then when I ask, don't give me a face like you've been asked a thousand times. The reason you've been asked is because we are gagged because we don't have the tools. A king crab has a spiky shell. But it also has the most succulent and salty meat. How do I know? I work at Brooklyn Crab in Red Hook. 15 seconds. Get on the B61 and go on over. We're in Gowanus I work at Brooklyn Crab in Red Hook. 15 seconds. Get on the B61

and go on over. We're in Gowanus now. You can go over to Red Hook. You get a king crab a pound and a quarter for $49. So I know exactly how to crack open the crab.

I don't think so, honey. See if a restaurant can have their shit together. That's one minute. Wow. That was amazing. Feels good. Feels good. It's very freeing. that was amazing feels good feels good it's very freeing

alright so now to demonstrate what it's like to be put on the spot Bowen fucking Yang here we go bitch here we go Bowen Yang

I'm choosing a thing here we go I don't know what this is gonna be Bowen Yang your I'm choosing a thing. Here we go. I don't know what this is going to be. Bo and Yang, your I Don't Think So Honey is about Sarah Paulson. It starts now. Go. I don't think so

honey, Sarah Paulson. You might be an amazing actress and you might have been the best part of Carol, but I don't think so honey. You taking these long breaks in between projects. I want to see you all the doodah day in every project. I want to see you nominated for an Oscar every year for Best Supporting Actress. And then

someday, honey, I want to be able to look at a reel of your work, an in-memoriam of your work with things that I wish I had seen more of. I don't want to look at your in-memoriam reel and think, wow, Sarah, I wish you had done more, Sarah. Sarah, I wish you had taken up that role in the next Star Wars movie. Sarah, I wish you had done that appearance.

Just hypothetically, I wish you had done an appearance on Comedy Bang Bang. I don't fucking know. Sarah Paulson, I love you so much. I don't think so, honey. Sarah Paulson, you are one of our most visionary actresses of our generation. You have to, have to give us material to gag us. I don't think so, honey. That's one minute!

That was a very positive I don't think so, honey. What do you say we get started here with our first group? Oh, also, guys, right before we start, we have a raffle tonight. We have proceeds going to Trans Lifeline. Trans Lifeline is an amazing organization. Dollar each a raffle, please, please, please. And raffle goes towards that hat right there. You're going to get a culture hat.

Be a real crusader. Yeah, you're excited. Trans Lifeline is great. We love it. We love them. Here we go, guys. It a real crusader. Yeah, you're excited. Trans Lifeline is great. We love it. We love them. Here we go, guys. It's our first group. Everyone, give it up for Sudi Green.

Becky Chacon. Alex English. Blair Saki. And Christy Cielo. Wow. All right. Okay. Here we go.

Sudie Green, approach the mic. First bitch! First bitch! Okay. All right, Sudie Green, do you go pre-selected or you want the bowl? Pre-selected, bitch. Your time starts now! I don't think so, honey.

Women with three bags on the subway. Yes! Okay. You get your freaking purse, okay? You get a tiny Lululemon bag for your lunch. What the fuck is in that third bag? Okay? It's your gym clothes.

It's your fucking laptop bag. First of all, bitch, get a job with a fucking desktop computer. Okay? You're coming in off the Park Slope stop, off the Carroll Garden stop, hollering to the working moms, but you look ratchet, okay? Get a fucking tote bag. 32 seconds.

Get a fucking tote bag, or better yet, stop shaming me with my backpack, bitch. Get a backpack. You know I have wigs in my bag. You know I have a laptop in my bag. I'm a working comedian. I have it concise in my fucking cute-ass backpack. Bitch, get a tote,

okay? And I'm not giving you my seat, bitch, because you look a mess. Wait. Keep going. Keep going. Keep going. Keep going. Five seconds. I want to end on that, bitch. That's one minute. That's one minute. Suni Green.

Wow. Give it up! Give it up. Becky Chacon to the mic! Pre-selected or the bull? Pre-selected! Your time starts now! I don't think so, honey. Feeling bad for Melania Trump.

Okay, honey. Okay, honey. Why are we feeling bad for her? You think she's trapped? This bitch can speak four to six languages and she's gonna end bullying? Okay. Anytime's trapped? This bitch can speak four to six languages and she's going to end bullying? Okay. Anytime, honey.

Okay. Anytime. Listen to this. When Donna Lassar outright, she said no because she went home and this bitch did her research. Right? Okay. She's like, he's got a lot of money.

I'm going to marry him. She marries him for his money. He marries her for her looks. It takes two to tango, honey. This bitch knows what she's doing, honey. Right? Okay. And do you think Barry was his idea?

I do not think so, honey. Okay? I do not think so on that. Okay, you know what? Anytime she speaks in public, you know she's reiterating Donald Trump's points and says no new information, okay?

She does not care about your cause, honey. 15 seconds. Okay? She does not care. And let me tell you what. If you think she doesn't need money, she could sell her $2 million wedding ring

or her $200,000 wedding dress, okay? I do not care. Five seconds. That's one minute. That's one minute. Becky Chacon. That's up. Alex English.

Alex English, here we go. Pre-selected or the bowl? Pre-selected. Here we go, bitch. Your time starts now. All right. I don't think so. Asking me, are you finding everything okay while I'm shopping in this store?

I don't think so, honey. I don't think so, honey. Because chances are when I tell you, oh, I need these in a size 9, you're going to come back with a box but say, oh, we only have these in 12. Oh, oh, I need these in a size nine, you're going to come back with a box but say, oh, we only have these in 12. Oh, bitch, I don't think so. Oh, honey, I don't think so because I'm going to look you dead in your face

and I'm going to be like, well, I asked for a nine, you fucking terrorist. 30 seconds. Oh, I don't think so, honey. What happened back there while you was looking for them goddamn shoes? Was you back there when just like, well, he said a nine. But I wonder while I was back there, maybe his feet grew magically. Maybe he has Negro magical powers.

Maybe. Oh, I don't think so, honey. You only asking me if I was looking for some shoes because I'm black. Oh, I don't think so, honey. Oh, I don't think so honey. You only asking me if I if I was looking for some five seconds. Oh, I don't think so Here we go Blair Saki Blair what the hell are all these models taking over the food network? I don't think so, honey. All these bitches are just swarming in,

taking shit over by siege? No, no, fuck you. All these models, I love food my whole life. Food is my passion. No, I don't think so, honey. All these moshes. I love food my whole life. Food is my passion. No! I don't think so, honey. All these OG chefs are just dying off for love of the game. 30 seconds.

They're eating. They're getting heart disease just trying to do their job. These bitches, they have no qualification. Just coming in, just taking all our jobs. I don't think so, honey. Five seconds. I never want to see another model on the Food Network. I don't think so, honey.

That's one minute. Everyone, gird your fucking loins. It's Christy Cello. Pre-selected or the bowl? I'm going in the fucking bowl. No one scored that. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

She's going in the bowl. What is it? What is it? Neil Patrick's. Oh, my God. Neil Patrick Harris's fucking kids. Go, go, go. I don't think so, honey.

Neil Patrick Harris has fucking kids. Nobody gives a fuck. Your fucking kids. I don't even know their fucking names. I don't fucking so honey like why are so stupid! 30 seconds! I don't think so honey! I don't think so honey, I don't think so honey. They dress up for Halloween in cute costumes and put them to Instagram. Shut the fuck up, I gotta go.

Christie did not do the full minute wow that's one minute everyone give it up for these motherfuckers oh my god I'm Julian Edelman I'm Rob Gronkowski guess what folks we're teammates again and we're gonna welcome you guys all

to Dudes on Dudes. I'm a dude, you're a dude, and Dudes on Dudes is our brand new show. We're going to highlight players, peers, guys that we played against, legends from the past, and we're just going to sit here and talk about them. And we'll get into the types of dudes. What kind of types

of dudes are there, Gronk? We got studs, wizards, we got freaks, or dudes dudes. What kind of types of dudes are there, Gronk? We got studs, wizards. We got freaks. Or dudes dude. We got dogs. Dogs. We'll break down their games. We'll share some insider stories and determine what kind of dude each of these dudes are. Is Randy Moss a stud or a freak?

Is Tom Brady a dog or a dudes dude? We're going to find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. We talk about guilt, shame, body image,

and huge life transformations. I was a desperate delusional dreamer and the desperate part got me in a lot of trouble. I encourage delusional dreamers. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer. I just had such an anger. I was just so mad at life. Everything that wasn't right was everybody's fault but mine. I had such a victim mentality. I took zero accountability for anything in my life. I was the kid that if you asked what happened, I immediately started with everything but me.

It took years for me to break that, like years of work. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, a five-year-old boy floated alone in the ocean. He had lost his mother trying to reach Florida from Cuba. He looked like a little angel. I mean, he looked so fresh. And his name, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere. Elian Gonzalez. Elian Gonzalez.

Elian. Elian. Elian Gonzalez. At the heart of the story is a young boy and the question of who he belongs with. His father in Cuba. Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him.. His father in Cuba. Mr. Gonzales wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or his relatives in Miami.

Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. At the heart of it all is still this painful family separation. Something that as a Cuban, I know all too well. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story,

as part of the My Cultura podcast network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Cheryl Swoops, WNBA champ, three-time Olympian, and Basketball Hall of Famer. I'm a mom, and I'm a woman. I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby, journalist, sports reporter, basketball analyst, a wife, and I'm also a woman. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the

real obstacles women face day to day. See, athlete or not, we all know it takes a lot as women to be at the top of our game. We want to share those stories about balancing work and relationships, motherhood, career shifts, you know, just all the s*** we go through. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women. And T and I, well, we have

no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby, an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by

Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Let's bring up our next five. Here we go. Give it up for Catherine Cohen! Nicole Codland! we go. Give it up for Catherine Cohen! Nicole Codland! Sasheer Zameda!

Anna Dresden! And the queen herself, Mateo Lane! I just want to point of order. Point of order or whatever. I don't know if point of order is correct. No one's worn the hat so far. Oh, my God.

Put the hat on. It helps. Put the hat on, guys. It really just... Here we go. Catherine Cohen, approach the mic. Pre-selected or bull? Pre-selected?

Pre-selected. Go for it, girl. Catherine Cohen, your time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Women's clothing sizes. No, girl. Catherine Cohen, your time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Women's clothing sizes. No, bitch. I'm a medium at Old Navy and a 14 at Topshop doesn't cover my nips. I don't think so, honey.

Okay. No, bitch. I go into Zara to buy an embroidered bomber jacket because I'm fucking modern. They say, we don't make this at a large. I don't think so, honey. They say, we just go up to a medium. I don't think so, honey. They say, we just go up to a medium. I don't think so, honey. I go to Urban. They say,

we don't carry 32 in store usually. I don't think so, honey. I go to Urban. They do extra small, not extra large. I don't think so, honey. I am not the biggest woman in the world, but I'm the biggest size in all the stores. I don't think so, honey.

No, bitch. 15 seconds. Keep going. Okay, here's the deal. Make more sizes so more people buy your clothes. It's called capitalism, bitch. I don't think so, honey. I don't think so, honey.

I don't think so, honey. Five seconds. Keep going. Five seconds. Keep going. Finish. And also, American Apparel, buy, bitch. I don't think so, honey.

That's one minute. Catherine Cohen, everybody. I don't think so, honey. That's one minute! Catherine Cohen, everybody! Catherine Cohen. Nicole! Nicole Conlon! Nicole Conlon! Yes! Pre-selected for the bowl. Pre-selected. Here we go, Nicole Conlon.

That hat. Your time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Artisanal ketchup? You guys all know exactly what I mean. You have the gall to think that you can improve upon a condiment so universally beloved that preeminent writer Malcolm Gladwell devoted a 6,000-word essay to how it is fundamental to the nature of the American public.

Writing that ketchup pushes all our primal buttons and runs the sensory spectrum. A sentiment which triggers pleasure centers for sweet, sour, salty, bitter, and the ever hard to capture umami taste. Artisanal ketchup combines all the pretentiousness of home brewing your own beer 50 seconds With the disgusting taste of home brewing your own beer And when you get down to it, are artisanal ketchups even ketchup? I don't think so, honey

No matter what direction you go with it, you're immediately veering into hot sauce 5 seconds Or marinara territory So the next time a waiter tries to sell you on the idea of artisanal ketchup, I beg of you That's what I meant I don't think so. I don't think so. Nicole Cotland.

Wow. Everyone, welcome. So cheers. I made it to the mic. Pre-selected or the bowl? Pre-selected. Thank you. Okay, here we go.

Your time starts now. I don't think so. Friskies cat food. I've had it with you. I was watching what I thought was a normal ass commercial and it got to the end and the slogan is

Friskies for cats, by cats. I don't think so, honey. I find it very hard to believe that no one at Frisky's has heard of FUBU. No one? 30! 30 seconds!

And if you don't know what FUBU is, it's a clothing line for us, by us, for black people, by black people. Because the clothing industry would not allow black people to be successful in that field. So Frky's took that and gave it to cats that's another level of cultural appropriation I don't think so frisky's not only did they take it away they gave it to cats also I don't believe you cats are not making this food if it's by cats

that's why I'm saying. She's a winner! Wow. And now, Anna Dresden! Preselected, or are we going in the bowl? The bowl, bitch! The bowl, bitch! Pick your topic!

You must! Here we go. What is it? Oh my bitch. Pick your topic. I can't believe this. You must. Here we go. Go negative. What is it? Oh, my God. What is it? I have been targeted by the ball. I don't think so, honey.

Sex. I don't think so, honey. Sex. Your minute starts right now. What are you doing? You have a job. You have parents who love you. You pay taxes!

What are you doing with your body? You're putting what where? What are you talking about? Oh my God, I'm going to get my sheets dirty for what? For what For what Brian For what You don't work at a startup You work with your friends

Oh no I don't think so honey Waking up in Bushwick Or in a loft bed Or ruining my comforter From Amazon.com. Ten seconds. Orgasms are stupid.

Vital book. Coming is for losers. Anna Dresden, that's one minute. Amazing. Guys, give it up for the queen herself, Matteo Lane! Talk to us, bitch! The bowl are pre-selected.

Pre-selected. Here we go, your minute starts right now! I don't think so, Lindsay Lohan. Oh! I don't think so. You are not gonna be the Little Mermaid live on Broadway. What are you talking about, Lindsay Lohan? She is campaigning herself on Instagram right now like, me, the Little Mermaid.

No. What has happened? The past three years, you lost a finger, your face got bloated, and you sound like the devil. That's what's happened to you. The Little Mermaid, she can't sound like under the sun. You are a messy white woman. And that's the only reason why she was successful is because gays

love messy white women. Listen, white women, if you're drunk and you're out at a bar all of a sudden gay men come up and they're like, oh my god, yes, okay, yes. It is a bad sign. 15! It is time to go home. You are the real housewife of that bar for those gays that night.

You are a mess. Lindsay Lohan, you fingerless slut. I hate you. That's one minute. Give it up for these people. Catherine Cohen, Nicole Collins, Ashir Sameta, Anna Dressen, and Matteo Lane. minute give it up for these people katherine cohen nicole collins ashir samada anna dresden and

mateo lane wow bitch i hope that you're sitting down at this moment yes because i'm about to give you something it's a little bit of an offer it's a little offer and you're gonna want to take advantage of this yeah okay for you The listeners of Lost Culture Rhesus And thank you so much for listening Casper Is offering $50 Towards any mattress purchase At Casper.com

$50? You gotta take advantage of this Yes The Casper mattress Is an obsessively engineered Mattress bitch At a shockingly fair price Okay

It's got the right sink It's got the right bounce Cause it's made up of two technologies it's latex foam and memory foam and they come together for it's amazing sleep recently my boyfriend and henry and i we were looking for a new apartment and we needed to stay with some friends so our one friend patrick let us stay with him and he said i have a casper mattress and i had heard about casper mattress but i had heard about casper mattress but i had never slept on one let me tell you i'm not even joking this was i was out when i laid

down i couldn't wait to be laying in the bed you got your life you couldn't wait to be laying in the bed i got my life this was it's really the best mattress i've ever had we talk about it and patrick was like this is a status symbol. Honey, I have a Casper mattress. He was like, you want to stay in my apartment. I have a Casper mattress. So now it's now the most awarded mattress of the decade. Give it the Oscar for mattresses.

Rightfully so. So I don't know what you're waiting for. You got to get one. So this is an offer for $50 off any mattress purchase. You got to go to caspertrial.com forward slash las culturistas again one more time write it down bitch don't let it pass you by www.caspertrial.com forward slash las culturistas for 50 towards any mattress purchase i mean that's like you gotta do it you gotta do it you're stupid to not do it

you're stupid not to at least look into it and here's what else you should look into warby parker glasses honey you gotta put these on your face take it from me honey i've got a pair of warbies at home and i love them so much we're sponsored by warby parker warby parker is offering lost culturistas listeners with a free five-day home try on to give you the opportunity to check out their glasses this is such a good deal. Such a good deal. And they have a frame called Bowen, and it comes in many colors.

Oh, my God. I love it so much. Do you have the Bowen glasses? I don't, but I should, right? I mean, you should at least get them to try them on for five days for free. Thank you. Get opinions on them.

Great idea. They make buying glasses online easy and risk-free because their home try-on program allows customers like you to order five pairs of glasses to be shipped directly to their homes where they can try them on in the comfort of their own home and get feedback from friends family colleagues enemies i mean come on your enemies will see you in these warby parkers and they'll be like oh damn it they have the upper hand on me today and you can say look good yes and you can say eat your heart out to your and

you know what you can see your enemies for who they really are because you'll be seeing very well because you're wearing the Warby Parkers. That's beautiful, Matt. I love it. Users can keep the frames for five days before sending them back for free using the prepaid return shipping labels with no obligation to purchase. I told my mom about this deal today, and she could not believe it. She couldn't? This is obviously an amazing company. Get Katrina to try on some glasses. I will, I i think i think she could slay in some frames honey

she does on the daily on the daily honey all you moms out there that listen to las culturistas get yourself a pair of warby park and hey once once the surge in the market just goes crazy towards moms warby parker will have us to thank yeah to get your free home try on today go to warbyparkertrial.com forward slash las culturistas again write this down bitch that's www.warbyparkertrial.com forward slash las culturistas for your free five-day home try on all right that's enough of that let's go back to the show come on next, here we go. Everyone give it up for John Wan. John Wan.

John Wan. Where art thou? He's a little shy. Give it up for Rachel Winitsky. There's John Wan. Come on, John Wan. It's Rachel Jorofsky. Rachel Jorofsky. Rachel Jorofsky.

I'm so sorry. Come on. Give it up for Alex Song. Yes. Give it up for Kelly Quinn. And last but not least, give it up for Chris Burns. John Wan, it is time. Put that hat on.

Yes, get it. Find your look. There you go. Are we going pre-selected or the bowl? Pre-selected. John Juan's I Don't Think So, Honey. Time starts now. Weak ass small dog owners who treat their small dogs like human.

I don't think so. Honey! Do not walk down the street with your yappy ass, ratty ass dog, and it's pulling you on the leash, and you have the audacity to slip out of your snake tongue. Wallace, what's going on? Don't ask it a question! It's not a human! It is a dog, and you treat it like a dog

because you're a dog owner, not a dog friend. You bought that, and then you have the audacity to look at me with my noble 80-pound greyhound who is walking like a fucking king. If that dog was yapping in your face, you would take out a syringe and inject it. And that is a dog double standard. I don't think so, honey.

I don't fucking think so. Come on. If you want a friend, you start going on Grindr, on Tinder, and start swiping, bitch. Bye. I don't think so. That's one minute. That's one minute. Give it up for John Wine.

John Wine. And now, Miss Rachel Jorofsky. Grab the hat. Step, step, step in the name of love to the mic. Step in the name of love to the mic. Now, are we going pre-selected or are we going bowl? What was that? Are we going pre-selected or are we going in this bowl?

Miss, you know I'm prepared. Okay. I came preparado as fuck. All right, let's do this. Your time starts right now. I don't think so. People who play their music out loud on the train. Bitch, this is not your house.

Because if it was, I would have removed my shoes and thanked your mom for having me. Okay. I really need you not to play DJ right now because I'm trying to have a sad midnight commute home aka be in my feelings and listen to Frank Ocean's Blonde and read Sophie's Choice at the same damn time. Okay? How am I supposed to process this and turn it into anti-Semitism

when you're out here playing Flow Ride as my house from your personalized speaker? Bitch, what? How are you going to bring your speaker outside of the house? It will definitely get water damage and or be dropped, so hell no, we won't go leave that in the crib. 15 seconds.

In conclusion, please don't try to turn this one train into your personal situation. If you're trying to turn up, then listen to your headphones that you stole from your roommate and are definitely Apple. Five seconds. Fish, you are in and out of line.

That's one minute. Rachel Jorowski. Wow. Please welcome Alex Song to the mic. Alexandra Song. Predetermined or bull. I still don't know what that means.

Okay, so do you come prepared with one or do you want to pick a random thing from the Bull? Oh, I do have one, but let's go Bull. Let's go Bull. All right. Here we go. I will read it to you. Face the audience.

Okay, while I face them, can I tell you what it would have been? What would it have been? I don't think so, Mark Ruffalo. No, I won't hear that. Instead, Alex, we'll do you one better. We'll do you one better. I don't think so,

honey. Olivia Newton-John, your time starts right now. I don't think so, Olivia Newton-John. You're gonna come on goody two-shoes and then just change? Is that what bull is? Is that I get squirted if I stop talking?

No, no. You don't talk. Keep talking. John Travolta, come on. He's not going to fuck you. Come on. 30 seconds. Did she sing Let's Get Physical?

Yes. All right. Well, come on. Let's Get Physical. Come on. I really hate Mark Ruffalo. That is not on the rules. No, keep going.

Five seconds. Five seconds. Five seconds. Alex Song broke every rule. That's one minute. I mean, come on. I don't think so on Alex Song. I don't think so. Alex's song. I don't think so. Kelly Quinn is approaching the mic.

Kelly, talk to me, baby. Thank you. I did come prepared. I'm an oldest child. Thank you. Kelly Quinn, your time begins now. Okay, thank you. I don't think so, Ernest Hemingway.

No, no, no. I don't think so. Don't come to me with your sparse-ass, boring-ass prose. No, no, no. I don't think so. Don't come to me with your sparse-ass, boring-ass prose. No, thank you. No, thank you. I cannot take a shit

in Brooklyn without making eye contact with three men who are obsessed with Ernest Hemingway. I will not accept it. I don't like it. I don't think so

on Ernest Hemingway. People say, oh, he's a minimalist, right? Read between the lines. What lines? Give me lines to read between, bitch. Please, thank you. I don't think so, Ernest Hemingway.

When I read, I want to take a vacation. Okay, I want to be transported. When I read Ernest Hemingway, it's chore day, bitch, and I don't own a broom. Thank you. I don't think so, Ernest Hemingway. The English language is a rich tapestry. And your novels are threadbare.

If I did a word cloud of the sun also rises, it would be wine, ambulance, bread, Spain. Five seconds. Keep going. I don't think so. Thank you, Ernest Hemingway. I don't care for your posts. Thank you. That's one minute.

Thank you, Kelly. Next up is Chris Burns. Work that hat Burns Work that hat Work that hat Preselected or the bowl Preselected bitch Thank you Chris Burns I don't think so honey

Time starts now I don't think so honey Being in people's weddings is literally fucking trash Yes I'm so happy for you that you're deciding to get married And yes I'm happy for me that I'm the only gay person in your wedding Because I fucking love attention But what I don't love is getting fucking venmo requested every goddamn three days for 200 motherfucking dollars bitch no bitch i do not want to buy you an engraved anything and you do not want to sit on a beach in new jersey and

fucking fucking seashells that are made of glass and cigarette butts and no bitch i don't want to drink out of dick shaped novelty glasses talking about whatever poor ass bridesmaid just left the room I don't give a shit bitch and do not get me started on that fucking bridal shower as if I'm not a big enough asshole having just paid $200 for a motherfucking mimosa

fountain and a goddamn omelette station now I'm supposed to sit here with a fucking thumb up my ass and watch you rake in half a William Sonoma and most of fucking Bed Bath and Beyond? Five seconds! I don't think so, bitch! Keep going! So will I be in your wedding? Yes, bitch, of course

I will, but I don't fucking think I'll like it, bitch. That's what I'm saying! Give it up for this group! Woo! Unbelievable! Unbelievable. John Wan, Rachel Jorofsky, Alex Song Kelly Quinn and Chris Burns And now please welcome these motherfuckers

It's Aaron Jackson And his amazing sister Amy Jo Jackson And their amazing sister Ryan Leach And their amazing sister, Ryan Leach and their amazing sister, Brian Foss and the iconic Cola Scola. Come on, bitch. Come on, Cole.

Come on. Here we go. Come on. Aaron Jackson, please take the mic. Approach the mic, Aaron. Hi. Pre-selected or are we digging in? Pre-selected.

Oh. Aaron Jackson, I don't think so, honey. Time starts now. I don't think so, Aaron. Pre-selected or are we digging in? Pre-selected. Aaron Jackson, I don't think so, honey. Time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Nick Jonas. If I have to have another twink shoved down my throat by the Disney corporate machine, I'm gonna gag. I don't think so, honey. You have no talent.

I watched you in the 25th Les Miserables anniversary and your face was screwed up like a pug. You can't sing, girl. Name a song. None of you can. I don't think so, honey. I don't think so, honey.

You can't act. I turned off Scream Queen. It was bad. You can't act. 30 seconds. Okay, great. And also, okay, we all, we like him because of his body, right? He's not that hot.

Abs don't make you hot. If any of you took Goofy's big dumb dick up your ass once a year and Disney paid for your personal trainer, you would have abs too. I don't think so, honey. I don't think so. If we all stopped eating, we could get abs, okay? I don't think so.

I don't think so. No, you should get it. You should get it. It's your trash. That's one minute. If you took Goofy's big dumb dick once a year. Everyone, it's Amy Jo Jackson. Amy Jo, you pre-select?

I'm pre-select, my darling. Here we go. Time starts right now. All right, I don't think so, honey. Wicked, the musical. How have you been running for 13 fucking years? Gregory Maguire wrote this rich, complex, beautiful political novel, and Stephen Schwartz turned it into some slick, overproduced,

commercialized pop clap trap. And I am not having it. I don't think so, honey. How dare you purport that your show is about this rich relationship between these two strong women when all you do is pit them against one another over a man for two thirds of your script. I don't think so, honey. Thirty seconds!

And that's not how it went down in the novel. You didn't have to do it that way, but you did it that way because it was easier. And that's what keeps preteens and their parents spending money at your goddamn show. I don't think so, honey. And Fiyero, no thank you. I don't think so, honey. And Fiyero? No, thank you. I am sorry.

Dancing Through Life is the most boring song I've ever fucking heard. 15. He is always played by some straight white guy who thinks he's God's gift to musical theater because he looks good in tight pants and has a nice voice and every cast director in town wants to fuck him. But I don't think so, honey. Being a twink doesn't last forever. I don't think so, honey. That's one minute. Club Trump. Club Trump. to fuck him, but I don't think so, honey. Being a twink doesn't last forever. I don't think so, honey.

That's why I made it. Club Trump. Club Trump. Ryan Leach. Ryan Leach. Yes, put it on. Pre-selected or the poll? I'm going to do pre-selected.

Thank you. Here we go. Your time begins now. I don't think so, honey. Conservative politicians in the South who aren't even from the South. I don't think so. I had to grow up as a little faggot in rural Virginia my whole 18 years. And hearing Ken Cuccinelli say that gay people are unnatural.

And then I find out he's from Edison, New Jersey. I don't think so, honey. No, no, no, no. I want to see you go all the way back to Edison, New Jersey and say that to their faces, not down here. It's already bad enough down in the South because we have bad schools and high rates of obesity and a lack of health care,

and then you got to come all the way down here because you couldn't fly your Confederate flag in Pennsylvaniasylvania or vermont or maine no no my 15 seconds so honey no i'm looking at you ted cruz born in alberta i don't want you down here in texas we got our own problems down here with crazies in our own state legislature. That's one minute! That's one minute! Ryan Leach! Amazing. Here we go! It's Daddy, Brian Foss!

Brian, pre-selected or from the bowl? I'm gonna do pre-selected. Pre-selected! Here we go, Brian Foss. Your time starts now. I don't think so, honey. The Easter Bunny, what the fuck are you? Honestly, it's like you're tacky,

you're creepy, and you look like something Donnie Darko threw up and then jizzed on. I don't think so, honey bunny. Honestly, it's like, okay, so the Easter Bunny comes into your house, goes in your kid's room, shits out chocolate bunnies, and it's like okay so the easter bunny comes into your house goes in your kid's room shits out chocolate bunnies and it's not even good chocolate it's mass brothers chocolate i don't

think so honey 30 seconds and the easter bunny doesn't even have a personality it's like are you funny can you even talk are you from like an alien planet the only good thing we can say about the easter bunny is that everyone knows who you are, which is shady as fuck. I don't think so, honey. Fifteen seconds! And furthermore, the Easter Bunny ruined my childhood. Gay little four-year-old Brian could believe in Santa, could believe in the tooth

fairy, witches, leprechauns, but the Easter Bunny made my world crumble down because it's like, you were so un-fucking-believable. Fake as shit? I don't think so. That's why they wanted it! Wow, it got real! It got real. Wow. Brian Foss!

And now, please welcome Cola Skol out of the mic! Come on, motherfucker! Talk to us! Pre-selected or ball? Oh, he's going to the ball! Little bait and switch. And that's how you know.

That's how you know. Bait and switch. Here we go. Cole, let's go. Your time starts now. My mom wants to have a relationship with me. I don't think so, honey. When I want to hear from some drunk bitch begging my forgiveness,

I will wait till Brandy's next hit and run. Or, or, or, or I will submit a writing packet to Fallon, okay? Oh my God. Yeah. Oh yeah. I'm looking at 30 seconds. Oh yeah. I spent my whole life

Wondering what I had to do To get you to love me Turns out the answer was Leave and wait for it to sink in That you're gonna die alone bitch I don't think so honey 15 seconds You should have thought of that

You should have thought of that before mom When you told me I was too old to play with Barbies. Well, turn around and check your back for a Mattel sticker because I am outgrowing you, bitch. I don't think so, honey. Oh, my God. Incredible. Give it up for this group! Amy Jo Jackson, Ryan Leach, Brian Foss, and Paula Escaler.

Guys, welcome the next group before intermission. Here we go. Carly Ann Philbin! Miss Jo Firestone! Mr. Sam Taggart Sam Taggart and Aparna Nancherla Alright, here we go Carly and motherfucking Philbin

Are we doing the bull or are we pre-selecting? We are presenting and here start your little timer because here we go. Here we go. Time starts now. Okay. I don't think so, honey.

The look of victory that washes over one's face when they just make the train. Okay. And you know what you're talking about. Moments before you were running, bitch. Okay. We all saw that messenger bag hit your hip. Okay, and then you get on the train car and you're looking around.

Now you're the king of this train or something? Okay? And then you want to make eye contact with what? Your students? Okay, guess what? When in New York do we try to make eye contact, okay? So you look directly at me to see if I saw what you did, and you know what?

I don't think so, honey. I am neutral. I'm neutral on the train. I don't want to be inspired, okay? I don't want to have... You know what? I walked casually onto the train, okay? Five seconds.

Because the train waited for me, bitch. Oh! That's one minute. Master ball. Oh, my God. We got Joe Firestone. Thank you. Joe Firestone, are you pre-selected or are you going in this bowl?

I'm pre-selected. Come on. Here we go. One minute starts now! Okay, memes. I don't think so, honey. Ever try to call them may-may's?

And then everyone else is like, I don't think so, honey. You know, T-F-W, more like I-D-T-S-H. That's a I don't think so, honey. Okay. Why do you got to put words on pictures?

I don't think so, honey. Pictures for your words. If a picture's worth a thousand words, why's it gotta have a couple more words on top of it? I don't think so, honey. 15 seconds. Why you gotta make animals have voices?

I don't think so, honey. No animals, no voices. I'm sorry, seconds. Come on. And babies, WTF? No, I don't think so, honey. That's one minute. Oh, my God.

And now, Sam Taggart. Preselected or the bowl? I'm weirdly feeling the bowl. Oh, my God. Okay, I'm a freak. I'm a freak. I love the bowl. Here we go. He's weirdly feeling the bowl. Oh my god! Okay, I'm a freak. I'm a freak. I love the bowl. Here we go. He's weirdly feeling the bowl. Oh my god, this is gonna be tragic.

Sam Taggart, your I don't think so subject is Kelly Clarkson and your time starts now! Time starts now! I simply do not think so, Kelly Clarkson. Behind these hazel eyes is nonsense. You're a reality show star pretending to be a celebrity. He is pacing! Oh my god. I simply do not think so, hunty.

Kelly Clarkson. Miss Independent, more like Miss Dependent on your American Idol win. 30 seconds. Oh my god, she's feeling herself. Did I say I was feeling the bowl or was I feeling myself? Wow. I simply do not think so. 15 seconds, bitch.

Kelly Clarkson, here's a message if you're in the crowd. You were meant to be a mom in the Midwest. That's one minute. That's one minute. Oh my God. I've never been so insulted. I've never been so insulted in my life. And now, Aparna Nancherla.

You need the hat. Oh, my goodness. Aparna, talk to us. Prepared or bowl? I'm going to go pre-selected. Pre-selected. Come on, Aparna. One minute starts now.

Okay. I don't think so. People who try to get on the train before people are off the train. Yes. Don't. What is your end game? We are not ghosts. I need a little act out here.

Will you guys all get right here? Wow. Okay, this is the F train. We all know it, we all love it. Okay, we just got to Carroll Street. We all know it, we all love it. Door is open. 30 seconds.

Every time I pass you say, no bitch. No bitch. No bitch. No bitch. No bitch. What are you doing? We're not ghosts. We deserve to live. We deserve space in this city.

15 seconds. I don't pay a security deposit for your ass. I feel weird about saying ass. Five seconds. I don't think so. That's one minute. Give it up for this group. Give it up for this group.

Carly Ann Philbin, Joe Firestone, Sam Taggart, Aporna Nancherla. Now, everyone, before we go to intermission, we'd like to show a short video commemorating the Las Culturistas Icon Award winner. This is an animated video animated by Lulu Krauss. By Lulu Krauss. Let's go for it.

Let's dim the lights. I don't think so, honey, about people who shame me about posting on social too like, too much. Or about, like, ever being on your phone ever. Because people act like if you're in a conversation with them that you have to, have to, have to be engaged. But how about you, like, engage me. And you know what I mean? Like, I have my phone.

And, like, let's not ever guilt anyone for being on our phones when we all do it. Like, I don't care if I'm staying on the subway steps and you need to, like, sidestep for a second. Because guess what? Can't we all just, like, take a deep breath and not roll our eyes quite so hard at each other for being on our phones and second secondly i will always post my truth on social media on facebook.com on twitter.com no matter what and i will do that i will post every single thought that ever enters into my head and i have a right to do that and for those of you who do not post every thought that comes into your head well then i feel truly sorry for you that you're so ashamed and embarrassed

or that you don't have thoughts that are interesting enough to post. And honestly, I will never, not once, ever again feel badly for speaking my truth because I used to do that. And guess what? It almost killed me. Ladies and gentlemen,

our Las Cosas Icon Award winner, Patrick Regan! Yes! award winner, Patrick Regan! And now Pat, would you like your pre-selected topic or going into the bowl? Pre-selected topic. Oh! Here we go. Pat Regan, your time starts now. I don't think so, honey, about restaurants who, like, cover their outlets so you can't charge your phone.

Because, like, why? What are you getting for that? Like, that electricity belongs to, like, everyone. Like, yes, you did, like, start, but, like, you can't own electricity. It's, like, emotion or life force um and i want to just go inside every single restaurant that does choose to spend money to cover up their outlets for no reason other than to be toxic and just rip them off the wall and be like i don't think so honey and be like go electricity run find phones to give life to and i just want like if i ever get rich enough like in my 30s i do want to like

start like a collective of young creatives that like it's a space in Midtown where you can just come and charge, you know what I mean? And everybody's safe. 15 seconds. Because I swear to God, like, the amount of money you're taking to cover them with little plastic chargers, like, you would spend so much less than that just to, like, give us electricity and you can save the lives of phones. Fuck. We can do it today. We can do it today. We can do it together. I don't think so, honey.

That's what's next. Pat Regan. Pat Regan. Thank you so much. I just want to say awards are so silly. Awards are so silly. All right, guys. Give it up for Pat Regan.

Guys, we are going to take a brief break, but first I want to remind you all about the raffle for trans lifeline one dollars each ticket please go get a drink go get a raffle ticket we'll be right back thank you guys so much this has been a forever dog production executive produced by joe Cilio, Alex Ramsey, and Brett Bohm. For more podcasts, please visit foreverdogproductions.com. And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind-the-scenes stories, crazy details, and honestly, just having a blast talking football.

Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all times, from legends to our buddies to current stars. We're finally answering the age-old question, what kind of dudes are these dudes? We're going to find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes

on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy, Elian Gonzalez, was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go

back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami? Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Sheryl Swoops. And I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women.

And T and I have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby, an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One,

founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists.

I was a desperate delusional dreamer. Be a delusional dreamer biggest artists. I was a desperate delusional dreamer. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one.