Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - "I Don't Think So, Honey!" LIVE (Part Two)

Episode Date: March 29, 2017

Recorded live in Brooklyn, 50 of New York's best comedians take one minute each to go off on culture. Part Two featuring: Phoebe Robinson, Dylan Marron, Sarah Pappalardo, Ana Fabrega, Michael Hartney,... Mary Houlihan, Patti Harrison, Mitra Jouhari, Betsy Kenney, Mo Fry Pasic, Dara Katz, Tim Platt, Marcia Belsky, Chrissy Shackelford, Sachi Ezura, Rachel Wenitsky, David Mizzoni, Alise Morales, Monique Moses, Henry Koperski, Kady Ruth Ashcraft, Farah Brook, Hannah Solow, Tim Murray, Tessa Hersh, and raffle winner Sunita Mani.Recorded 3/21/17 at Littlefield in Brooklyn, NY.LAS CULTURISTAS HAS A PATREON! For $5/month, you get exclusive access to WEEKLY Patreon-ONLY Las Culturistas content!!https://www.patreon.com/lasculturistasCONNECT W/ LAS CULTURISTAS ON FACEBOOK & TWITTER for the best in "I Don't Think So, Honey" action, updates on live shows, conversations with the Las Culturistas community, and behind-the scenes photos/videos:www.facebook.com/lasculturistastwitter.com/lasculturistasLAS CULTURISTAS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASThttp://foreverdogproductions.com/fdpn/podcasts/las-culturistas/ Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home, and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami? Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
Starting point is 00:00:30 or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind-the-scenes stories, crazy details, and honestly, just having a blast talking football.
Starting point is 00:00:51 Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all times, from legends to our buddies to current stars. We're finally answering the age-old question, what kind of dudes are these dudes? We're going to find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've
Starting point is 00:01:22 ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. I was a desperate, delusional dreamer. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate, delusional dreamer. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
Starting point is 00:01:40 or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. I'm Cheryl Swoops. And I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women. And T and I have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Sheryl Swo and Tariqa Foster-Brasby,
Starting point is 00:02:05 an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Hey, everybody. Today's show is brought to you by Casper.com. Receive $50 towards any mattress purchase at www.caspertrial.com forward slash Las Culturistas. And by warbyparker.com. Get a free five-day home try-on at www.warbyparkertrial.com forward slash Las Culturistas.
Starting point is 00:02:43 Five pairs, five days, 100% free. Las Culturistas is brought to you by the Forever Dog Podcast Network. Be sure to check out more original comedy podcasts at ForeverDogPodcast.com. All right. Enjoy the show. Come on. You guys ready for more? Let's do it.
Starting point is 00:03:02 What do we think of the first half so far? I feel like the room is on fire. Let's do it. What do we think of the first half so far? I'm feeling... I feel like the room is on fire. I mean, everyone's coming hard. The bowl is whipping out some truths. The bowl is surprisingly effective. Like, people are succeeding with flying colors with the bowl. This teak bowl that we hand-carved ourselves.
Starting point is 00:03:24 It's just amazing. Yeah, this is like an artifact. I mean, you know, I just want to say, like, object permanence is like this weird concept, but like the bowl embodies that. Also, I do want to say, we've got a new catchphrase. We've got a new culture word, and it's Claptrap. Thank you, Amy Jo Jackson for that. I just, Amy Jo Jackson for that. I just, I couldn't, I couldn't help it.
Starting point is 00:03:46 My hand started writing. I was like, Clap Trap. And guys, just, we've learned a bunch of things from the first half, especially that you can, I don't think so, honey, you can rail against the culture
Starting point is 00:03:55 of the relationship with your own mother. Which is amazing. Anything. Anything. Guys. Are you ready? Let's do it.
Starting point is 00:04:04 Let's bring on the next group. David Mazzoni. The king of the hunks, Henry Kapurski. Hannah Solo. Miss Dara Katz. Come on. And Miss Betsy Kendi. Come on, Bets.
Starting point is 00:04:24 Come on. Yes Miss Betsy Kendi. Come on, Beth. Come on. Yes. All right. David Mazzoni, please take the dais. David Mazzoni, do we have a prepared bit or are we diving into the bowl? I have a prepared bit. I have something I need to say. All right.
Starting point is 00:04:37 Oh, my God. Here we go. Here we go. And your time starts now. I don't think so, honey. People who say Britney Spears sucks now. Ah! I don't think so, honey. People who say Britney Spears sucks now. Ah! I don't want to hear it!
Starting point is 00:04:50 This woman raised you. Do you have any idea? This woman died for your sins. Your gay ass sins, okay? When she posts, when she Googles a picture of tacos, then takes the first image that comes up on Google for tacos and post that image on her Instagram and says,
Starting point is 00:05:16 delicious. Yum. You better fucking like it. Cause she died for you. Okay. The apps raised you. So when you tell me, oh, Brittany, she's not the same.
Starting point is 00:05:30 She's different. I say, no, bitch. Go online. Buy that $300 Vegas ticket and go. Five seconds. She's dead, bitch, and it's your fault. I don't think so, honey. That's why I read it.
Starting point is 00:05:42 Wow. Every word of that. And now Henry Kapurski. Give it up. Henry Kapurski. I hate dancing and don't make me feel bad about the fact that I don't like to dance if I'm at your wedding reception and I'm sitting down don't ask me are you okay I'm fine
Starting point is 00:06:10 I'm eating cake I'm talking to your older relatives I'm having a great time I like watching people dance I saw it on the town on Broadway my favorite part was the ballet sequence I'm that. I saw it on the town on Broadway. My favorite part was the ballet sequence. I'm still gagged for it.
Starting point is 00:06:29 I live and die for Jerome Robbins. I love him. Sure, I've been on drugs and maybe have danced a little bit, but you know what? I've also been on drugs and eaten flowers. It's fine. I don't want to dance. Don't make me laugh. I'm not self-conscious.
Starting point is 00:06:44 I'm not hurting inside. I'm not suppressing my natural human. I fucking hate it. I don't like to move my limbs. I like to listen. I like to sit down and listen to it. Five seconds. Okay?
Starting point is 00:06:53 So fuck you, all you dancers. Fuck you for pressuring me. Okay? Thank you. Oh, that's one minute. Fuck you, all you dancers. Fuck you. If you're a dancer, fuck you.
Starting point is 00:07:04 Fuck you, all you dancers. Oh you. If you're a dancer, fuck you. Oh, my God. Wow. Unbelievable. Hannah Solo, step to the mic. Here we go. Hannah, pre-er-ble. I have to speak my truth, okay?
Starting point is 00:07:15 And we're doing pre? We're doing pre-selected. Pre-selected. Here we go. Hannah Solos, I don't think so, honey. Time starts now. Okay, listen. I don't think so, honey.
Starting point is 00:07:21 Child contestants on The Voice, okay? We do not need you. Listen, if I wanted to listen to middle schoolers sing, I would Google a production of Teen Ragtime on YouTube, which I have done before. Don't even come for me, okay? Also, let the old people on The Voice. If you're going to show me a video of a 50-year-old man
Starting point is 00:07:42 who lost his house in a flood and has six kids one of which is disabled and you're not gonna turn a chair 30 i do not think so honey i do not think so alicia keys okay and then you want me to feel bad for the 12 year old who's bullied for her height i don't think so, honey. 15 seconds. This girl does not need a recording contract. She needs to go back to middle school with her quaky vibrato and her dead eyes.
Starting point is 00:08:14 And she needs to learn your math. I don't think so, honey. Get back to school. Let's watch. Oh, my god. Here we go! It's Dara Katz!
Starting point is 00:08:28 Come on! Dara Katz! I have a huge head, and it's liberating that this fits me. Yes! Yes! You look on fire! Are you doing pre-summit? Is that part of my time?
Starting point is 00:08:39 No! No, no, no. I don't think so, honey! Wait, are we starting? We're starting? We're starting? We started, bitches! Here we go! I don't think so, honey. Wait, are we starting? We're starting? Yeah, we started, bitches. Here we go, I'm good. Okay, one, don't have me come here with opinions
Starting point is 00:08:51 because I don't have a lot of them. Honey. Like, I don't know what I think of anything. I don't know, honey. Did you spray me? I guess that's fine. La La Land was cool. 30 seconds.
Starting point is 00:09:18 I don't know. I liked it. I liked Moonlight. Am I bad? Maybe. What do you guys think? Having opinions on everything is not... 15 seconds.
Starting point is 00:09:33 Thank God. Okay. I'll just sing because I want to sing in front of an audience. Five seconds. Five. Oh, seriously? Okay, so... five seconds oh seriously um okay so that's one minute
Starting point is 00:09:50 Derek Katz wow thank you oh everyone raise a glass to Betsy Kenny Bets are we going pre-selected
Starting point is 00:10:06 or are we diving in this bowl? Well, it was going to audience soar. Should I bowl or should I? Bowl! I don't know anything political or anything pop culture. Oh my god, Bets. Here, you pick it because I picked one. Do you want this one?
Starting point is 00:10:22 Is it good or bad? Susan Boyle. I'm picky. There we one. Do you want this one? Is it good or bad? Susan Boyle. I'm picky. There we go. There we go. Do your own. I'm scared. Let's read it out for the class. What is it? Oh. Oh. Blake Shelton as a person. Is Blake Shelton from The Voice?
Starting point is 00:10:39 Blake Shelton from The Voice as a person. As a person. Not as a vocalist or a musician. I don't know. I don't think so honey. It starts right. He dates Gwen Stefani not as a vocalist or a musician i don't know it starts right and he dates gwen stefani it starts now i don't think so honey gwen stefani is harajuku girl when you're not asian i don't think so honey blake shelton being an alcoholic drinking out of that little black cup yes queen i don't think so honey blake shetland being at home on a couch watching the tv as himself watching the voice i don't think so honey 30 seconds i don't think so honey me having to ever to ever say Blake Shelton coming out of my mouth. It's rude.
Starting point is 00:11:26 I don't think so, honey. People arguing at a bar about Blake Shelton about anything because he's meaningless to anyone. 15 seconds. Come on. I don't think so, honey. Few times been around that track and not been like that. Five seconds.
Starting point is 00:11:44 I know. Don't get the mic. Five seconds Don't get the mic Five seconds I don't think so honey That's our name Wow Give it up for David Missoni Henry Kaburski Hannah Sosa
Starting point is 00:12:00 Derek Hatch Betsy Kenny Betsy Kenny herself Betsy return the hat Betsy return the hat Wow Betsy, return the hat. Wow, she almost jacked that hat. Are we ready for the next group? Let's do it.
Starting point is 00:12:11 Please welcome Katie Ruth Ashcraft. Yes. Please welcome Dylan Maron. Please welcome Elise Morales. Please welcome Monique Moses. And finally, please welcome Patty Harrison. Patty. Elise Morales. Please welcome Monique Moses. And finally, please welcome Patty Harrison. Patty!
Starting point is 00:12:32 All right. Katie Ruth Ashcraft, please take the dance. Katie Ruth, here we go. All right, Katie Ruth. It is covered by the hat that Betsy wearable. It's going to be pre-socked from me. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:12:45 And Katie with Ashcraft, I don't think so, honey. Time starts now. Okay. So I'm at a restaurant with friends and family, and friends who are like family. And I'm the first to finish my meal, which is gnocchi in a white sauce. And so the waiter takes my plate away, and I say, I don't think so, honey, because everyone else at my table is still eating. And I'm left sitting there like the entire time I wasn't eating.
Starting point is 00:13:09 Like I was like, just water for me. Thank you. But I wasn't like that, honey. 30 seconds. Okay, so honey, on to chapter two. I don't think you're going to take my plate from me quite yet. Half of waiter is waiter. Have you ever heard of someone saying,
Starting point is 00:13:29 I can't finish this. Do you want to finish it for me? Well, you're not gonna hear it tonight because I don't have a plate anymore. Okay. And I'm gonna finish it off saying, is there an international dish shortage? Why are you snatching my plate
Starting point is 00:13:41 like a rig of a real housewife? If you need to buy more dishes, stop buying so many decorative air plants. They will go out of style. Plates will not, honey. I don't think that is. And Katie Ruth Ashcouch is going to make Dylan Marin pick the hat and the mic up. Dylan Marin. He's going to reach down on the ground and pick that up, honey.
Starting point is 00:14:05 Dylan, what's it going to be, on the ground and pick that up, honey. Ooh, Dylan. Dylan, what's it going to be, girl? I don't know. My loves, it is preselected. Preselected. Shut the fuck up, bull. I planned this by thinking about it on the train. She is prepared.
Starting point is 00:14:18 Here we go. She's prepared. Dylan Maron. She's prepared. I don't think so, honey. Casting Laura Dern as Shailene Woodley and Reese Witherspoon's adversary on Big Little Lies weighed when she played their mothers in Wild and the Fault in Our Stars. I don't think so, honey.
Starting point is 00:14:39 I fell in love with her in Wild, okay? I cried my fucking eyes out at the fault in our stars, the book and the movie. And now I gotta watch her play fucking Renata on Big Little Lies. And I have to hear her tear
Starting point is 00:15:02 Shailene Woodley a new one and she is a struggling single mom? I don't think so! 15 seconds! Skip to 3, Shailene! Reese Witherspoon had to come into the hospital bed and see that her eyes were taken out. Spoiler alert, in wild!
Starting point is 00:15:21 And now I have to watch them bicker on Big Little Lies? I don't think so, honey. That's one minute! Oh, wow. Free Shailene! Free Shailene! All right. Free Shailene!
Starting point is 00:15:36 No sympathy for Shailene from me. Next up is Elyse Morales! Come on, Elyse Morales! What are we thinking? For your bowl. Mike's over there on that stand to your right. Here it is. Over there. Morales! Come on, Elyse Morales! What are we thinking? Pre or bowl? Mike's over there on that stand to your right. Here it is. Over there.
Starting point is 00:15:49 I don't think so, honey, Mike. Thank you. I'm going pre-selected. Elyse Morales, I don't think so, honey. Time starts now. I don't think so, honey. People who still care about Kim Kardashian's sex tape, let me set the scene for you.
Starting point is 00:16:05 The year is 2003. Kimberly, Noelle, Kardashian, West is but a humble Paris Hilton's closet organizer with a fat ass and even fatter dreams.
Starting point is 00:16:14 And you know what? You know what? She sucked Ray J's dick on camera, okay? And her life was better every goddamn day since. Okay? It's true.
Starting point is 00:16:23 And you know what? Any motherfucker who tells me that if they were 23 years old and looked like Kim Kardashian, they wouldn't make a sex tape is a fucking liar. Who here is 23? Make a sex tape. Do it now. You're not getting any skinnier. You're not getting any skinnier.
Starting point is 00:16:38 You're not getting your tight little ass on camera before it's blown out by going to work and taking dick. Do it now. Do it. Do that shit now. Okay? When I was 23, when I was 23, me and my boyfriend fucked on camera. He said that's deleted, but he also said he wasn't cheating on me, so who knows?
Starting point is 00:16:53 Five seconds. Either way, if the day that shit leaks is the day that Elyse Morales has a new fucking headshot. I'm just one minute. Thank you. Ivy, come on. Oh, my God. I'm tick fucking hedgehog because I look amazing. I'm Seth Lundin! Thank you. Oh my god, I'm tickled. Wow. Come on, Monique Moses!
Starting point is 00:17:17 Monique, what's it gonna be? Pre or bowl? Bowl, motherfucker! Bowl! What do we got? Donald motherfucking Trump! Ball, motherfucker! Ball! Okay. What do we got? Donald motherfucking Trump! Two minutes!
Starting point is 00:17:39 She gets two minutes! She gets two minutes! She gets two minutes! If you can hear me, clap once. If you can hear me, clap once. If you can hear me, clap twice. That was for some of you. Monique, you get two minutes. Here we go.
Starting point is 00:17:58 And your time begins now. I don't think so, honey. Donald motherfucking Trump. Bitch, I was born in Canada. I left that shit for you guys. And now you have Donald Trump as your president? Motherfucker, I left Justin motherfucking Trudeau for this shit. Donald Trump, I don't think so, honey. Your hair, your face, your body, your policies, your whack, motherfucker, your whack. Everybody hates your face your body your policies your whack motherfucker your whack everybody hates your face everybody hates you motherfucker i don't know much about donald trump
Starting point is 00:18:32 i just know if it was 40 years ago he wouldn't sell or rent to me so he needs to fuck off i don't know much about donald trump and oh i don't think so i don't think i want't know much about Donald Trump, and oh, I don't think so. I don't think I want to know much about Donald Trump. But what I do know is that he's a terrible president, and everybody hates him. Listen, I don't know much about Donald Trump, but I know this. One minute. I still have another minute. I don't think so, honey, you bitch, motherfucking shit, bitch-ass, cunt-ass, bitch-shit, fuck you fucking shit-ass
Starting point is 00:19:07 motherfucker. Your ass is gonna get impeached very, very soon. And you know what? I don't know how it's gonna happen. I might sneak into your house and find a way to find that you've been fucking a bunch of Russians or I might fucking
Starting point is 00:19:23 look into your past tax history. Listen, Rachel Maddow, you my girl. We need more. We need more, bitch. But listen, Trump, I don't fucking think so, honey. Oh, my God. There's so much about you that I hate. And a lot of it has to do with the fact that you're the president, motherfucker.
Starting point is 00:19:43 15 seconds. Come on, come on, Mo. Come on, take it home. Listen, take it home. I motherfucking hate motherfucking Donald Trump. And let me tell you this, I don't think so, honey.
Starting point is 00:19:52 You are not any of our presidents out here. We don't like you. And I was gonna give a scathing review to Wagamama Ramen, but instead, I would need your noodles, Donald Trump. That's what I needed!
Starting point is 00:20:11 Queen Mo! And next, Patty Harrison! Oh my god, Patty! What a vision. Wait, I'm gonna need two minutes too for mine. Yeah, I don't think so, honey. Marvin the Martian. Oh, fuck.
Starting point is 00:20:32 Yeah, you have a brush or a scrub on your head. So weird. You have no mouth, but you talk in that crazy voice. So dumb. You agree. Yeah, I know. I wouldn't vote for him either, but you talk in that crazy voice. So dumb. You agree. Yeah, I know. I wouldn't vote for him either, but I rolled him in. Also, no discernible genitals.
Starting point is 00:20:52 That sucks. He is a cartoon, and that means I cannot discern his size. I don't know why that's important to me, but it is. I should be able to know how big you are if I experience you in real life. And that, I don't know, maybe he's big, maybe he's small. Sometimes, you know, I thought Bugs Bunny was the size of a normal rabbit, but then Yosemite Sam is so small, and that's terrifying. Also, you wear a skirt that rests vertically.
Starting point is 00:21:26 No, no. And also, you have no face, so there's some sort of crazy birth effect there. That's what I thought. Unbelievable. Give it up for this amazing group. Katie with the Ashcraft, Dylan Barrett,
Starting point is 00:21:43 Elise Morales, Monique Mode, this Patty Harrison. Oh my Ashcraft. Dylan Barrett. Elise Morales. Monique Moses. Patty Harrison. Oh, my God. Yes. Take it. Take it. Take it. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:21:50 We love you. All right. And the next group is as follows. Give it up for Tessa Hirsch. Give it up for Sachi Ezra. Come on, Mary Houlihan. Come on, Sarah Pappalardo. Mary, where's Mary?
Starting point is 00:22:07 There she is. Come on, Sarah Pappalardo, where you at? She's coming, yes. And come on, Phoebe Robinson. Phoebe Robinson. Okay, take the day as Tessa Hirsch. Here we go. Come on, Tessa Hirsch.
Starting point is 00:22:27 Oh, my gosh. put that hat on. Here we go. If you want to. Will you be doing pre-selected? Or will you be doing... Yes! Pre-selected. Pre-selected. Tessa Hirsch, I don't think so.
Starting point is 00:22:37 Any time starts now. I don't think so, honey. People who think their babies are miracles? I literally don't think so, honey, people who think their babies are miracles? I literally don't think so, honey. Having a baby is the most basic thing you can do. It's Adam and Eve stuff, baby. I literally don't think so, honey. Everyone grows up.
Starting point is 00:23:06 They do high school. Maybe they do more after that. And then they have babies. 30 seconds. It's the most boring thing in the entire world that you could choose to do. And then you post about it on Facebook. And then when I'm sad and I ask my friends to send me pictures of their dogs, you confuse
Starting point is 00:23:28 that and send me pictures of your baby? I don't think so, honey. Five seconds to finish out. Your baby is not a miracle. And that's what it is. Tessa! And now,
Starting point is 00:23:44 Satya Azura! Here we go, culture! Tessa Herr. Tessa. And now, Sachi Ezra. Here we go, culture. Come on, culture. Sachi Ezra, pre-selected or bull? Oh, I'm going pre-selected. We're going pre-selected. Sachi Ezra, I don't think so, honey. Time starts now.
Starting point is 00:23:57 I don't think so, honey. The seven fucking dwarves. Okay, we got happy. We got grumpy. We got dopey. Fine. Sneezy? Sneezy? I'm sorry, your major personality trait could be solved with a
Starting point is 00:24:10 Zyrtex? I don't think so, honey. Then we got sleepy. There is a woman in a coma, and you're gonna be like, I'm sleepy. I don't think so, honey. Okay, now we got doc, okay? You are a doctor.
Starting point is 00:24:26 30 seconds. You went to dwarf medical school. Prescribe your friend some fucking shit. Grumpy antidepressants. Sleepy stimulants. Sneezy Zyrtec, whatever. Finally, bashful, okay? Why does your name have so many fucking consonants?
Starting point is 00:24:42 15. What are you, the word dwarves? Jesus Christ, it's a movie for kids. Your name is hard to pronounce. How about shy? How about shy? How about shy? I don't think so.
Starting point is 00:24:56 And that's one minute Sachi Ezra. Next up. Oh, here she comes, though. Mary Houlihan. Here we go. Come on, Mare. What do we think, Mare? Well, you know, boys, I actually wrote a little knot.
Starting point is 00:25:18 Oh! What do we got? Okay, okay, okay. Princess Diana. Princess Diana starts now. Okay, I don't think so, honey. My older sister Kate, 10 years older than me, thank you. I'm young as hell.
Starting point is 00:25:40 When we drove up to Boston, thank you. To drive her to college, thank you. It was actually super memorable because Princess Di died then. So if you turn on your TV, which we did in our hotel, you can see tons of footage of those paparazzi driving her into her death and i'm like bitch bitch why you gonna die right now you know you know me and my family trying to check out that USS Continental, but you, but you gonna die? I don't think so, honey. Oh my God, that's one minute. Welcome to the roast of Princess Diana. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:26:38 Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. We talk about guilt, shame, body image, and huge life transformations.
Starting point is 00:27:00 I was a desperate, delusional dreamer, and the desperate part got me in a lot of trouble. I encourage delusional dreamers. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate, delusional dreamer and the desperate part got me in a lot of trouble I encourage delusional dreamers be a delusional dreamer just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer I just had such an anger I was just so mad at life everything that wasn't right was everybody's fault
Starting point is 00:27:14 but mine I had such a victim mentality I took zero accountability for anything in my life I was the kid that if you asked what what happened I immediately started with everything but me it took years for me to break that, like years of work. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
Starting point is 00:27:34 or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, a five-year-old boy floated alone in the ocean. He had lost his mother trying to reach Florida from Cuba. He looked like a little angel. I mean, he looked so fresh. And his name, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere. Elian Gonzalez.
Starting point is 00:27:58 Elian Gonzalez. Elian Gonzalez. At the heart of the story is a young boy and the question of who he belongs with. His father in Cuba. Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. At the heart of it all is still this painful family separation.
Starting point is 00:28:24 Something that as a Cuban, I know all too well. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, as part of the My Cultura podcast network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. Guess what, folks?
Starting point is 00:28:45 We're teammates again. And we're going to welcome you guys all to Dudes on Dudes. I'm a dude. You're a dude. And Dudes on Dudes is our brand new show. We're going to highlight players, peers, guys that we played against, legends from the past. And we're just going to sit here and talk about them.
Starting point is 00:29:02 And we'll get into the types of dudes. What kind of types of dudes are there, girls? We studs wizards we got freaks or dudes dude we got dogs dog we'll break down their games we'll share some insider stories and determine what kind of dude each of these dudes are is randy moss a stud or a freak is tom brady a dog or dudes dude we're gonna find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Cheryl Swoops, WNBA champ, three-time Olympian, and basketball hall of famer. I'm a mom and I'm a woman. I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby, journalist, sports reporter,
Starting point is 00:29:47 basketball analyst, a wife, and I'm also a woman. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. See, athlete or not, we all know it takes a lot as women to be at the top of our game. We want to share those stories about balancing work and relationships, motherhood, career shifts, you know, just all the we go through. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women. And T and I, well, we have no problem going there. Listen to levels to this with Cheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby
Starting point is 00:30:22 and I Heart Women's Sports Production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Come on, Sarah Pappalardo! Sarah Pappalardo! Sarah, is it going to be pre or bowl? It's pre-selected.
Starting point is 00:30:47 Free. Sarah Pappalardo, I don't think so, honey. Time starts now. I don't think so. Women's sneakers designs. I'm sorry, but I don't think that my gender presentation includes walking at the mall at 6 a. 6am with Suzanne and Debra. Uh, excuse me, do I look like I want to go for a brisk walk with my friend Dorothy? No!
Starting point is 00:31:16 I don't! I don't think so, honey. 30 seconds! Do I look like a 60-year-old nurse named Carol? No! I don't think so, honey! You know what? You know why there are no lady sneaker fiends? One, because we don't have time for that shit, and two, because all our sneakers are shitty, pastel, neon, splattered bullshit!
Starting point is 00:31:45 Why? Five seconds. I don't think so, honey. Why do all the 15-year-old boys look cooler than me? I don't think so, honey. Oh, no, baby. That's one minute. Woo.
Starting point is 00:31:56 Wow. And now, come on, Phoebe Robinson. Come on, Phoebe. Don't wear the hat. Here we go. Phoebe, what's it going to be? I'm not going to wear the hat. No, I'm sorry. Don't worry about it.
Starting point is 00:32:08 Pre or bowl? Pre. Here we go. Phoebe Robinson, I don't think so. And the time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Black women who wear their long, long braids and tie them up into a top knot that obstructs my view at concerts.
Starting point is 00:32:21 I don't think so, honey! No, bitch! I did not pay $100 above face value for this Coldplay concert to not see Chris Martin, bitch! Put it in a low ponytail like you going to the SAG Awards.
Starting point is 00:32:38 Okay, honey! Okay, honey! 30 seconds! I get it. Braids are beautiful. Yes, I love black girl magic. Absolutely. But I'm at a concert. I like to be able to see, bitch.
Starting point is 00:32:52 I didn't pay to see you. You work in accounts payable. I don't think so, honey. I don't think so. 15 seconds. I just want to enjoy a concert in peace. I don't have to be worried about your bun falling over when you're shaking your head. Five seconds.
Starting point is 00:33:08 I can't handle that. I'm not like the Department of Housing and Architecture, honey. Get the fuck together. We're down. Oh, that's one minute, Phoebe Robinson. Give it up for the interview of Tessa Hirsch. Tessa Hirsch. Sarah Pappalardo, Mary Julian. Phoebe Robinson.
Starting point is 00:33:26 Yes. Wow. Bitch, I hope that you're sitting down at this moment. Yes. Because I'm about to give you something. It's a little bit of an offer. It's a little offer. And you're going to want to take advantage of this.
Starting point is 00:33:39 Yes. Okay. For you, the listeners of Las Culturus, and thank you so much for listening, Casper is offering $50 towards any mattress purchase at Casper.com. $50? You've got to take advantage of this. Yes. The Casper mattress is an obsessively engineered mattress bitch at a shockingly fair price. Okay?
Starting point is 00:33:58 It's got the right sink. It's got the right bounce. Because it's made up of two technologies. It's latex foam and memory foam and they come together for it's amazing sleep recently my boyfriend and henry and i we were looking for a new apartment and we needed to stay with some friends so our one friend patrick let us stay with him and he said i have a casper mattress And I had heard about Casper mattress, but I had never slept on one. Let me tell you, I'm not even joking. This was, I was out when I laid down.
Starting point is 00:34:30 I couldn't wait to be laying in the bed. You got your life. You couldn't wait to be laying in the bed. I got my life. This was, it's really the best mattress I've ever had. We talk about it. And Patrick was like, this is a status symbol, honey. I have a Casper mattress.
Starting point is 00:34:44 He was like, you want to stay in, honey. I have a Casper mattress. He was like, you want to stay in my apartment. I have a Casper mattress. So now it's now the most awarded mattress of the decade. Give it the Oscar for mattresses. Rightfully so. So I don't know what you're waiting for. You got to get one. So this is an offer for $50 off any mattress purchase.
Starting point is 00:35:00 You got to go to caspertrial.com forward slash las culturistas again one more time write it down bitch don't let it pass you by www.caspertrial.com forward slash las culturistas for 50 dollars towards any mattress purchase i mean that's like you gotta do it you gotta do it you're stupid to not do it you're stupid not to at least look into it and here's what else you should look into warby parker glasses honey you gotta put these on your face take it from me honey i've got a pair of warbies at home and i love them so much we're sponsored by warby parker warby parker is offering lost culture east as listeners with a free five day home try on to give you the opportunity to check out their glasses this is such a good deal such a good deal and they have a frame called Bowen, and it comes in many colors.
Starting point is 00:35:46 Oh, my God. I love it so much. Do you have the Bowen glasses? I don't, but I should, right? I mean, you should at least get them to try them on for five days for free. Thank you. Get opinions on them. Great idea.
Starting point is 00:35:56 They make buying glasses online easy and risk-free because their home try-on program allows customers like you to order five pairs of glasses to be shipped directly to their homes where they can try them on in the comfort of their own home and get feedback from friends family colleagues enemies i mean come on your enemies will see you in these warby parkers and they'll be like oh damn it they have the upper hand on me today and you can say look good yes and you can say eat your heart out to you and you know what you can see your enemies for who they really are because you'll be seeing very well because you're wearing the Warby Parkers.
Starting point is 00:36:26 That's beautiful, Matt. I love it. Users can keep the frames for five days before sending them back for free using the prepaid return shipping labels with no obligation to purchase. I told my mom about this deal today and she could not believe it.
Starting point is 00:36:39 She couldn't? This is obviously an amazing company. Get Katrina to try on some glasses. I will, I think. I think she could slay in some frames, honey. She does, on the daily. On the daily, honey. All you moms out there that listen to Las Culturistas,
Starting point is 00:36:51 get yourself a pair of Warby Park. And hey, once the surge in the market just goes crazy towards moms, Warby Parker will have us to thank. To get your free home try-on today, go to warbyparkertrial.com forward slash las culturistas again write this down bitch that's www.warbyparkertrial.com forward slash las culturistas for your free five-day home try on all right that's enough of that let's go back to the show come on and now get fucking ready get ready ready right now. It's Mo Fry Pasik.
Starting point is 00:37:27 Here she comes. Here she comes. Get fucking ready. It's Tim Platt. Come on, Tim. I'm Madame Rachel Winitsky. And Mitra Juhari. And here we go.
Starting point is 00:37:43 Come on, Chrissy Shackleford. Yes. All right. Step up, Mo. Step up. Take the day, yes. Here we go. Here we go.
Starting point is 00:37:55 Here we go, Mo. Whatever way you want. How's it gonna be? Fucking hat. Little reference. I'm gonna fucking bowl it, bitch. Bowl. Here we go to it bitch bowl here we go to the bowl
Starting point is 00:38:07 here we go yes to the bowl would you like to choose yourself or would you like us to draw for you please draw for me I love fate
Starting point is 00:38:12 here we go drawing I just want to say before I name this I hate this all of these all of these are responsible
Starting point is 00:38:21 the only person responsible for these names is Matt Rogers. Here we go. Mo Frye Passix, I don't think so, honey, is going to be David Bowie. Newly deceased icon, David Bowie. Oh, my God. And your time starts now.
Starting point is 00:38:44 I don't fucking think so, honey. David motherfucking boy, your ass fucking likes to like, I'm sorry, I'm from space. It's like, okay, okay, your fucking ass comes down and is like, yeah, I know how to change the fucking entire conversation about music and gender identity, but I'm not going to save you guys. You know, I'm just going to fucking peace out. I'm going to fucking die.
Starting point is 00:39:04 I'm going to fucking say January fucking 10th 10 2016 i'm fucking peace the fuck out like i'm gonna take my i don't think so honey okay like you're fucking you're like fucking black star fucking shit like you're fucking like drop that okay and you fucking like you drop that and then you're like you know what like yeah yeah okay bye bye bye you know and like and then you know you grow up you're like i'm from london but also i'm from everywhere and it's like i don't think, and you're like, I'm from London, but also I'm from everywhere. And it's like, I don't think so, honey. You're from one place,
Starting point is 00:39:29 and you're one person, and you're from space. Where are you from, David Bowie? And why did you die? I don't think so, honey. Your motherfucking ass is like gorgeous and like your fucking cheekbones.
Starting point is 00:39:37 Okay, like we get it. Okay? Five seconds. Okay, okay. You can fucking cut diamonds on your cheekbones, bitch. I don't think so, honey. Just one minute.
Starting point is 00:39:46 Wow. Give it up. Have some respect. That was a tough one. A vicious takedown of David Bowie. Wow. Live at Littlefield. Guys, give it up.
Starting point is 00:39:56 Give it up. It's Tim Platt. Fucking Platt. Come on, Tim. Here we go. I just want to say one thing. Tim Platt is our only straight white male on this entire show. The only, the singular.
Starting point is 00:40:09 And he decided not to make a thing of it. No. Didn't want to make himself seen or known. And that's admirable. For a straight white male to blend in, huge. Here we go. With our respect. Tim Platt.
Starting point is 00:40:22 What do we think, Tim? Incredible. I already got one. I got one. Great. Okay, here we go. Tim Platt's what do we think, Tim? Clear bowl. I already got one, got one. Great, okay, here we go. Tim Platt, I don't think so, honey. Time starts now. I don't think so. When I put soy milk in my coffee and you clump up,
Starting point is 00:40:33 I'm trying to be healthy! I'm trying to help the environment. I know soy sucks too. I know almond sucks too. But I feel like when I'm choosing soy before everything else, I'm being a good boy, making a good choice. And I deserve to feel like a good boy today and this morning.
Starting point is 00:40:51 You're clumping up like I didn't choose you to be a good thing for me, but now you're fucking up my favorite morning ritual. Here's my favorite one. 30 seconds. Fuck off. You know when you get that coffee and it's like a little treat, it's like a little dessert in the morning? It's cause it's so cream and consistent. Consistency makes a dessert.
Starting point is 00:41:11 Not crumbs. Crumbs don't make a dessert. If a cake is crummy, it's a bad cake. If it is consistent, that's a good dessert. So I want my coffee dessert! I want it healthy! And when it's soy milk It's healthy
Starting point is 00:41:26 But it ain't consistent That's one minute Fuck off Come on Give it up Oh give it up And now And now
Starting point is 00:41:37 The queen herself Rachel Winiski The queen Rachel Yes Oh my god You're holding a phone I think that means pre
Starting point is 00:41:47 it means I have to take a quick call I have it pre-prepared but I picked it from my own fucking random bowl this morning here we go
Starting point is 00:41:56 we all have one Rachel Winitsky's I don't think so honey time starts now alright I don't think so honey people that are like um
Starting point is 00:42:04 I just don't like watch TV. What? You don't watch TV? Stop bragging about that. You sound like a fucking idiot. You think you're better than me because you don't watch TV? You're not better than me.
Starting point is 00:42:21 TV is it, bitch. TV is America. If you don't watch TV, you are not a patriot. If you don't watch TV, you didn't vote. Listen, I will watch TV all day all night until I fucking die
Starting point is 00:42:38 and then I will shoot my cremains up into space so that they can live for eternity amongst the television satellites. If you don't watch TV, guess what, bitch? We have nothing to talk about at brunch
Starting point is 00:42:53 because if you don't watch TV, you do not know who Alexander Skarsgård is. You didn't see Tarzan. No one saw Tarzan. So strap in, bitch. TV is the future. That's one minute! Rachel and Mitch. TV is the future That's what it is Rachel and Mitch TV is the future
Starting point is 00:43:08 You heard it here first Oh my god It's Mitra Juhari Well pre-selected I'm gonna do pre-selected I made a last minute change and I'm feeling really confident about it. Here we go, Meech.
Starting point is 00:43:28 Mitra Juhari, I don't think so. A natural in hats. Okay, I don't think so, honey. Devil's Advocates. Okay, like... Eat my slit like it's like it's the devil
Starting point is 00:43:50 like why are you advocating for the devil like and every single person who's like I'm just playing devil's advocate is like all of your ex-boyfriends like put inside of a blender world together and like assuming all the worst traits of all of them and like
Starting point is 00:44:04 you talk about being a devil's advocate world together and like assuming all the worst traits of all of them and like 30 seconds you talk about being a devil's advocate like you're in mensa you're a fucking idiot like you're trying to reverse the way the river flows stop like it's not interesting it's not exciting to be a devil's advocate you're a mediocre white bitch i hate you eat Eat my slit. Five seconds. If you're a devil's advocate in this room, rethink your life. Rethink your choices. I implore you. I'm wearing this hat because I want you to stop doing what you're doing.
Starting point is 00:44:36 That's one minute. Eat her slit. Eat my slit. Oh, my God. And now Chrissy Shackleford Come on Chrissy
Starting point is 00:44:53 What do we think What's it gonna be Oh my god Thank you so much And it sounds like Priest I'm gonna do the bowl The bowl You guys choose it for me Because my hands are dirty Chrissy And it sounds like praise. I'm going to do the bowl.
Starting point is 00:45:06 The bowl. You guys choose it for me because my hands are dirty. Chrissy. Come on. I've never washed them. No. I don't think so, honey. Julie Andrews.
Starting point is 00:45:24 Your time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Julie Andrews. What the fuck are you doing in Princess Diaries? Get out of my motherfucking movies where you don't sing. Okay? Yeah, you're a good actress, but we're here for the voice. Are we not?
Starting point is 00:45:41 We're here for the voice and we're here for the hair. But also, I don't think so, honey. Julie Andrews, let's see you with long hair. What are you hiding? Who do you think you are? You think Tyra told you you have good bone structure for short hair? 30 seconds. I want to see you.
Starting point is 00:46:00 Julie Andrews, I want to see you on America's Next Top Model being the white girl that they give a weave and she starts crying because it hurts. That's what I want to see from you. I don't think so, honey. Julie Andrews, wear a scarf around your neck in Princess Diaries.
Starting point is 00:46:16 Get that scarf around your neck, wave it in there and give me some life on screen. Five seconds. Five seconds. The hills are alive with the sound of me. I don't know. That's one minute. That's one minute.
Starting point is 00:46:30 Oh, my God. Give it up for this group. Moe Frypatsik, Tim Platt, Rachel Winnitski, Mita Jahari, Chrissy Shackelford. Oh, my God. And guys, this is our final group of the evening. Here we go. We are gagged.
Starting point is 00:46:46 Give it up for Marsha Belsky. Marsha. Come through, Marsha. Come through, Farrah Brooke. Farrah Brooke. Give it up for Tim Murray.
Starting point is 00:47:01 Give it up for Anna Fabrega. Yes. And last but not least, Michael Hartney! Come on! Come on. This is our last group.
Starting point is 00:47:13 This is it. This is it, you guys. Here we go. The pinnacle of culture. Let's go, Marsha Belsky. Come on! Grab that hat. Grab that mic.
Starting point is 00:47:22 Here we go. Here we go. Marsha Belsky, pre or bowl? I'm going to do pre-selected. Thank you so much. This is Marsha Belsky's I Don't Think So, Honey. Time starts now. I Don't Think So, Honey, Freedom of Speech.
Starting point is 00:47:37 Honey, honey, honey. Much like bangs and the color yellow, maybe you're not for everyone. Unfortunately. I mean, it's like this idea that everyone has, like everyone's entitled to an opinion and a voice. Why form a civilization? Agree to disagree?
Starting point is 00:48:00 I don't think so, babe. 30 seconds. Thank you. I don't think so, honey. Tommy Loren, not on my foremother's back. Absolutely not. We did not work for you. Here are the men who will be banned. Men who make eye contact, number one.
Starting point is 00:48:17 Men who do not make eye contact, number two. Final thought. Unfortunately, I will be interfering in the arts as well. Things who do not pass the Bechdel test penalty is death. Thank you. I don't think so, honey. Marsha Baskin. Marsha Baskin.
Starting point is 00:48:35 Come on. Come on. And now, Farrah Brooke. Farrah. Here we go. Pre. Pre. Would you like to wear the hat?
Starting point is 00:48:45 You can say no. No. Okay, great. I believe in a women's right to choose. You do, you do. No hat, all culture. Your time starts now. I don't think so, honey.
Starting point is 00:48:56 Guys you have a crush on that ask you to read their pilot. Or read their script. Or watch their web series. I don't think so, honey. If you have not bought me 26 dinners, I'm not going to read your 26 pages. No, thank you. No, thank you.
Starting point is 00:49:22 Go to grad school. Hire a coach. 30. Oh, thank you. No, thank you. Go to grad school. Hire a coach. 30. Oh, my God. I'm so pissed about this. Don't fucking ask me. I have friends that have written books I haven't had time to read. I don't think so.
Starting point is 00:49:40 15. I read your fucking pilot. I have one fucking note. Get a full-time job. Don't go to the coffee shop at 9 a.m. Go to the office. Get health care. Know your pilot about Brooklyn roommates
Starting point is 00:49:53 finding their voice is not original. I don't think so. That's one minute. Take that, man. Take that, man. And now now Tim Murray Bitch Tell us what's good
Starting point is 00:50:10 I'm doing Thank you so much, I love you too I have something I need to rage about So I'm gonna do pre-select Tim Murray, I don't think so, honey Time starts now I don't think so, honey Harry Potter bullies
Starting point is 00:50:23 I've never fucking read it, and I never fucking will. Because I am almost 30, honey. I missed the boat, honey. It's not going to happen. Oh, he's an orphan with a scar on his face. I don't give two shits. You know who else was an orphan, honey? Annie, honey. You know who else was an orphan? Pip in Great Expectations, honey. You know who else was an orphan with a scar on his face? I don't give two shits. You know who else was an orphan, honey? Annie, honey. You know
Starting point is 00:50:45 who else was an orphan? Pip in Great Expectations, honey. You know who else was an orphan? The orphan in the movie The Orphan, honey. I like my witchcraft and wizardry with a strong female character at the center, honey. Give me Sabrina the
Starting point is 00:51:01 Teenage Wit, honey. Give me Hocus Pocus, honey. Tear down Harry Potter world. Build me a practical magic world with a Sandra Bullock Tilt-A-Whirl. Practical magic? And a Nicole Kidman carousel. I don't think so. Wingardium Leviosa.
Starting point is 00:51:18 Wingardium Levinosa. Oh, that's one minute. A Nicole Kidman carousel. You can ride her in the hours. Oh, my God. Wow. Ana Fabrega. Ana Fabrega.
Starting point is 00:51:43 Oh, my God. Here we go. Ana Fabrega, what you going to do? She's going to wear the hat. Oh, here we go. Here we go. Anna Fabrega, what you gonna do? She's gonna wear the hat. Oh, here we go. Here we go. Anna! It's like the spirit stick.
Starting point is 00:51:50 Anna. Anna, is it gonna be pre or bull? It's gonna be pre-selected. Oh my god, here we go. Thank you so much. Here we go. Here we go, Anna Fabrega. I don't think so many time starts now. I only have 60 seconds?
Starting point is 00:52:02 I don't think so, honey. I need more time than that. My criticisms are too complicated to summarize in 60 seconds. I don't think so, honey. You know, I come 45 minutes here commuting to do 60 seconds? I don't think so, honey. And, you know, I could... The bowl, you know, you could do something positive where people say, I think so, honey. And, you know, I could, the bull, you know,
Starting point is 00:52:25 you could do something positive where people say, I think so, honey. How about, how about. 30 seconds. How about 130 seconds, you know? Hey, I think so, honey. I'm not Twitter. I don't come here to tweet 60 seconds, 140 characters.
Starting point is 00:52:43 No, I don't think so, honey. And the hat, what am I, Yankee Doodle? I don't think so, honey. And the hat? What am I, Yankee Doodle? I don't think so, honey. I don't think so, honey. I need more time. If you want to talk, let's talk for more than 60 seconds. You can hear what I do and don't like.
Starting point is 00:53:00 A minute? I don't think so. That's one minute. Get out of here, Mary. Anna Fabrega. Anna. Wow. And now, everyone prepare for an education from Michael Hartney.
Starting point is 00:53:14 Michael. I don't do a hat. You don't do hats? He does not do the hats. I don't do a hat. Come on. What do you do? Pre-er bowl. Pre-select. hats. I don't do a hat. Come on. What do you do?
Starting point is 00:53:25 Pre-er bowl. Pre-select. Thank you so much, Michael Hartney. Time starts now. If you did that Facebook thing where you listed your favorite movies by year and for 1995, you chose The Usual Suspect. I don't think so, honey. That movie is a crap ass sham. And if you like it, you are A, straight, have fun,
Starting point is 00:53:51 and B, you're a chump-ass bitch who's probably getting cheated on right now, and you know what? You deserve it. I do not think so, honey! 30 seconds. 30 seconds at the end, that's not a twist. Lies aren't twists. If at the end, that's not a twist. Lies aren't twists.
Starting point is 00:54:07 If at the end of Sixth Sense he was like, I don't see dead people, go home, audience. You wouldn't be like, cool twist, M. Night. 15 seconds. If I wanted to see Kevin Spacey talk for two hours and just make shit up, I'd ask him about the women he's fucked. I don't think so, honey!
Starting point is 00:54:31 That's one minute! Give it up for this group! Marsha Belsky, Farrah Brooke, Tim Murray, Anna Fabrega, Michael Hartney! Guys. Guys. Wow. Wow.
Starting point is 00:54:51 Oh my gosh. You just heard 50 I don't think so, honeys. From 52. 52 if you count us. Wow, you guys. Thank you so much for joining us. Before we end the show, we're going to draw for the raffle. Here we go. We're going to draw the raffle. Again. Here we go. Trans Lifeline, thank you guys so much for joining us. Before we end the show, we're going to draw for the raffle. Here we go. We're going to draw the raffle. Again. Here we go.
Starting point is 00:55:08 Trans Lifeline, thank you guys so much for putting money in. You will win an I Don't Think So Honey culture hat, and you must come up and wear it and have your moment. Have your moment. Oh, yeah. If you want to give an I Don't Think So Honey, if you win this, please feel free. Guys, ticket number is 3-9-8-0-3-3. Do we have a winner? 3-9-8-0-3-3. Get those tickets out. Ticket number is 398033.
Starting point is 00:55:26 Do we have a winner? 398033. Do we have a winner? 398033. 398033. Going once. Going twice. Come on, guys.
Starting point is 00:55:36 And we're drawing another. Wait, hold on. Hold on. Seriously? 398033? Someone bought it. Someone's leaving. I don't think so, honey.
Starting point is 00:55:44 Okay. Matt, you want to draw another one? All right, I'll draw another one. Sorry, 398033 or whatever. it. Someone's leaving. I don't think so, honey. Okay. Matt, you want to draw another one? All right, I'll draw another one. Sorry, 398033 or whatever. That's what it was. Okay. 398074. Oh, shit!
Starting point is 00:55:57 Oh, shit! Sunita, you must! Sunita! You must! Oh, you must! Come on, Sunita! You got it, you got it, you got it. Sunita! You must! Oh, you must! Come on, Sunita! You got it, you got it! Come on, you got it, you got it! Sunita Mani!
Starting point is 00:56:09 I don't think so, honey! Sunita Mani! Do you want to do the bowl, or do you want to... No, I've been thinking about it the whole time! Let me tell you what I think. Sunita, here we go. Your time starts now. I don't think so, honey.
Starting point is 00:56:32 You hot motherfuckers who took yoga from my people. No! I've like been ashamed of myself forever and then you get strong and say namaste
Starting point is 00:56:52 at me who has just not been strong like I should be 30 seconds 30 more seconds take a deep breath in. Open your motherfucking third eye.
Starting point is 00:57:14 15. And take a big fuck you. You still have time. Come on, girl. Five seconds. Take it off. And now let's just let that go. And that was one minute.
Starting point is 00:57:31 That's one minute. Sunita. Oh, my God. She won. Oh, my God. Give it up for Sunita. Oh, my God. Honestly, give it up for Sunita. Oh my god. And honestly,
Starting point is 00:57:46 give it up for all your comics tonight. Great, great night. Give it up. We're gonna name them all. Sudi Green. Megan Chakoy. Alex English. Blair Saki.
Starting point is 00:57:57 Chris Lichello. Catherine Collins. Nicole Conlon. Sashir Zameda. Anna Dresden. Mateo Lane. John Wan. Rachel Jorowski.
Starting point is 00:58:03 Alex Song. Kelly Quinn. Chris Burns Aaron Jackson Amy Jo Jackson Ryan Leach Brian Foss Paula Scola
Starting point is 00:58:08 Carly Ann Philbin Joe Firestone Sam Taggart Aparna Nancherla Pat Regan David Mazzoni Henry Kapurski Hannah Solo
Starting point is 00:58:16 Derek Atts Betsy Keddie Katie Ruth Ashcroft Stephen Goeig Dylan Merritt Elise Morales Monique Moses Patty Harrison
Starting point is 00:58:23 Tessa Hirsch Sasha Ezra Mary Hula here. Sarah Pappalardo. Phoebe Robinson. Mo Fry Passant. Tim Platt. Rachel Winitsky.
Starting point is 00:58:30 Peter Jahari. Chrissy Shackelberg. Marcia Belsky. Farrah Brooke. Tim Murray. Anna Fabrega. And Michael Hartney. And Sunita Amani.
Starting point is 00:58:37 Sunita Amani. Oh my God. You guys, thank you so much to Forever Dog and to Littlefield. This has been so much fun. Subscribe to our podcast. Thank you guys so much fun. Subscribe to our podcast. Thank you guys so much. I'm Matt Rogers. I'm Bowen Yang.
Starting point is 00:58:47 Have a great night. Bye. Bye. Bye. Forever Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Joe Cilio, Alex Ramsey, and Brett Bohm. For more podcasts, please visit foreverdogproductions.com.
Starting point is 00:59:17 I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind-the-scenes stories, crazy details, and honestly, just having a blast talking football. Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all times, from legends to our buddies to current stars. We're finally answering the age-old question,
Starting point is 00:59:42 what kind of dudes are these dudes? We're going to find out Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to dudes on dudes on the I heart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of on purpose.
Starting point is 00:59:58 My latest episode is with jelly roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. I was a desperate delusional dreamer. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer.
Starting point is 01:00:17 Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home, and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami.
Starting point is 01:00:45 Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Cheryl Swoops. And I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women. And T and I have no problem going there.
Starting point is 01:01:19 Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby, an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports.

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