Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - "I Like Nerdy Guys" (w/ Catherine Cohen)

Episode Date: August 2, 2017

REJOICE! Living legend (and legendary Catherine) Catherine Cohen is FINALLY on Las Culturistas! Matt and Bowen BELT some ballads, talk about their CRUSHES of yesteryear (Sean William Scott anyoneeee?), and RAIL against Spotify. Catherine chats Les Mis, The OC, and her upcoming podcast "Turner Masters Memory Hospital." It's one for the ages honey and dare we say....glroooo!!! (glroooo is happening wether you like it or not). Rate FIVE stars on Apple Podcasts honey, don't sleep on us!LAS CULTURISTAS HAS A PATREON! For $5/month, you get exclusive access to WEEKLY Patreon-ONLY Las Culturistas content!!https://www.patreon.com/lasculturistasCONNECT W/ LAS CULTURISTAS ON FACEBOOK & TWITTER for the best in "I Don't Think So, Honey" action, updates on live shows, conversations with the Las Culturistas community, and behind-the scenes photos/videos:www.facebook.com/lasculturistastwitter.com/lasculturistasLAS CULTURISTAS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASThttp://foreverdogproductions.com/fdpn/podcasts/las-culturistas/ Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City are back. I love that. I love that. Oh my gosh. Welcome. And last season's drama was just the tip of the iceberg. You're recording us? I am disgusted.

Never in a million years after everything we've been through did I think that you would reach out to our sworn enemy. We were friends. How could you do this to me? I don't trust her. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Wednesdays at 9 on Bravo, or stream it on City TV+. I'm Julian Edelman.

I'm Rob Gronkowski. And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind-the-scenes stories, crazy details, and honestly, just having a blast talking football. Every week, we're discussing blast talking football. Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all times, from legends to our buddies to current stars. We're finally answering the age

old question, what kind of dudes are these dudes? We're gonna find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Sheryl Swoops. And I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby.

And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women. And T and I have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tariqa Foster-Brasby, an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. iHeartRadio.com I was a desperate delusional dreamer. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer.

Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. fire. My grandma told your grandma I'm gonna set your flag on fire. Talking about henna, henna, henna. Aiko, aiko, ande. Jagamofino, anane. Jagamofinane. Ding dong, Las Culturitas

calling. You have two jet setters as hosts officially. It's true, touchdown. Touchdown. Touchdown from Canada. I'm back in the States. You used your passport? I used my new passport. You have a stamp.

That's so cool. They didn't stamp it. Oh, well. I thought, I was all excited. I was like, you know, let's not stress it. They will stamp it at some point. Right. No stamp to be had.

I guess it's different with Canada. Even on the return trip? No, even on the return. Also, we should say I very nearly didn't make it there because I went to the literal wrong airport, you guys. What a nightmare. I went to Newark, which whoever elects to go to Newark, I went to Newark instead of the correct LaGuardia, but don't worry, we worked it out.

We'll tell you about it later, guys. We'll tell you about it later. For those of you who don't know, Matt just went to Montreal for the Just for Laughs festival. Huge deal, huge deal. The city shuts down for it. The industry shuts down for it, bitch. But before we get to that that and before we get to our guest I just want to make a huge announcement I had a new announce I'm officially a SoulCycle warrior which means that during this is warrior week is ending tomorrow is that

like getting a black belt no it's um you you if you take four classes within a week this very specific window of a week. You get your name on the website. Me, oh my. You get a beer koozie, a phone case, and a tote bag for free. The beer koozie seems redundant. For free for the low price of confidence, athleticism, sports, and a cumulative total of $170 worth of classes. Holy shit.

You know what? We'll see if it's worth it. I think it's worth it. I think I see you getting stronger and getting slimmer and getting more confident. Here's a strong, slim, confident guest that we haven't seen tonight. I agree. What a seg. Let's go through the credits.

Let's do that. I mean, right here on the Forever Dog Podcast Network, you're going to be hearing Turner Masters Memory Hospital. It's coming out, you guys. And let me tell you, it's going to be a maelstrom of vocal character performances. Yes, yes. Including ours truly. Ours truly. Ours truly. That's the plural of

yours truly, right? Yeah, that's right. Also, you guys, it's a guy thing at Union Hall. She hosts with Patty Harrison and Mitra Juhari. I mean, you know them, you love them. Iconic. And of course the amazing solo show at the Duplex, which I... Is it happening again? Okay, amazing.

It's called The Twist. She's gorgeous. Please welcome Catherine Cohen! I can't express how long I've been waiting for this moment. You can express. You can express. I am such a fan of the pod. We love. Every time I refresh and I see there's a new app, I just get on the train.

And I just ride it until it's done. Let me go as far as it will take me. For real. I'm like, I'm ready. And you're like, I'm in Canersey. Where am I? This is a true joy. I fucking love Catherine Cotter.

And I'm just excited that now. But if you haven't heard of Catherine, now I'm excited that you've heard. Yes, bitch. She's the platonic ideal of a performer. Yes. Truly. One of the icons.

One of the icons. Up and coming, I think, household name. I'm so excited. Already at the top of the podcast, we are fo-fo-fo-fo-foaming. At the moon. At the moon. At the moon. Hi, Drew.

Catherine, how are you? Oh, my God. I'm incredible. She is incredible. Well, I was telling Hop Producer Joe that this summer I have made swimming a priority. Wow. Tell us everything. Swimmer, more confident.

Where are you swimming? Yes. How long do you swim? What's the process like? Like disrobing? I just get away from this place as much as I can. I just go far, far, far to the lake, to the hole, to the beach, to the pool. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

To the lake, to the hole, to the beach, to the pool. But you swim. And this is important. Cath Co. swims. Speaking of SoulCycle, because they are owned by Equinox. Wait. Yes. Equinox bought SoulCycle.

Oh. Yeah, for like lots of money. And then the. Oh. Yeah. For like. Lots of money. Okay. Amazon Whole Foods. And we.

Okay. You are the first person who can share with me this gospel of Equinox. And Catherine even helped me decide to sign up. I'm Equinox obsessed. Okay. What do you love about it? What are your favorite things? Luxury.

Yes. Towels. But in all seriousness. I do love luxury. It was the first place that I went and I was like, okay, I'm going to come here every day. Right. Because it's amazing. Because you're motivated to go.

And then it pays for itself. Oh, it just pays for itself. So that is, I guess, what I get. Because when you signed up for it, Bowen, and when Dave signed up for it, all of a sudden out of the three of us, the two of them were in. And I was like, okay, am I now weird for not doing it? Because the majority in the group was doing it. Most Americans are Equinox members.

Most Americans are Equinox. That's actually rule number 68 of culture. Most Americans are Equinox. Equinox members. Yeah. And I have to say that I love the Equinox newsletter. What is it called? Fundamentals or something?

Furthermore. Furthermore. I'm so sorry. Furthermore. Oh, I love that. That's drag. It's psychotic, but it's incredible. It's psychotic, and it's not for me.

Me neither. I'm not living that lifestyle enough. Is it a little goop? It's goop. It's like, here are these insane abdominal workouts you use with sliders. I'm like, no, I would never do this. But also, I would like to someday in my elderly years to get to that level.

It assumes you're at a level already. Yes, I think it does. I'd like to make a shout out on the pod. I'd like to shout out Nico Brancolini. Hi Nico. He encouraged me to get an ab wheel. Oh, sure. And Nico is a listener, and this is the

first time we're mentioning him. He's become our friend via text. We will meet in person one day, Nico. We will. But he's encouraged me to use the ab wheel. Yes. And I have used it two times. And? And, you know, yeah. And, you know, yeah. It hurts.

I do not have an ab. Okay, so I have no such ab. But, Cathco, swimming, what else is on the list for you when you go walk into Equinox? Oh, when I... When you go, because... Yeah, because it can't all just be about the pool. I'm aimless. I'm still...

I kind of know what I'm doing when I go in there every day, but it's like I need a regimen. I have to share that. I have indulged in a few personal training sessions. Okay. And what are they like? They are just like fucking squat so you drop. Just like shaking, trembling, lunging.

It's horrible. I hate it so much. But what are the trainers like? Are they on your level? Well, I always get new trainers because I want to pay the least amount. So I'm like, give me tier one. I'm like, I don't need tier X.

So they're all like, they just graduated from college they're in the city they're trying something new their name's like Michelle or Jason shout out to Jason shout out to Jason a lot of shout outs on the pod Jason came to my duplex show with his girlfriend who's also

an Equinox trainer oh my god they're probably hot oh duh are they hot yeah of course are they facially hot as well as physically hot? Yeah, they're not for me, but they are generally hot. Yeah, generally hot. I like kind of a mangled, like I just got punched in the face hot. That's like my type.

Yeah, for sure, for sure, for sure. Like the broken nose. Yes, I am gravitating towards that the older I get. I want a mangled face. Yes. Yeah. Someone who's been there. Someone who's been there.

Who is the celebrity that's so hot with a mangled face? Who is that? Who is that sex icon that is like, why are they? Oh, I know one. Mark Ruffalo. Oh, I think he's handsome. Not that he looks like he's gotten like roughed up because he's particularly tough, but he's like a sex symbol that is like, okay.

And then you're like, all right. But then you're like, all right. Right, right. Oh, that's a great question cause they're out there you know I want to say sexy mangled icon like Nicolas Cage for me

just not attractive conventionally but like he's got something there's something about that moonstruck speech I've never seen moonstruck oh my god cultural blind spot. Okay, so speaking of cultural blind spots, we want to find out

what fills up your spots. We're going to ask you the question that we ask. Diddle diddle diddle. Filling up your little spots. So tight. Your little culture spots. Tight little culture spots. What was the culture that filled up your spots at a young age? Oh no. What was the culture that filled up your spots at a young age? Oh, no. I don't know. What was the culture

that steered you? I think, like, base level obvious is, like, I was walking around my house growing up singing, but the tigers

come madly. Yes! And I was practicing the shame like, every day. So that, like, Les Mis musical theater. Les Mis particular.

From a very young age Catherine Cohen fontined around the house wow shame figuring out my head voice my chest voice and I love that you you were gravitating towards fontine and not epony no yeah it was fontine never sang on my own no I love I love on my own but fontine's more like a party track you go in you're out yeah absolutely absolutely like I want to be able to go in you're out yeah absolutely absolutely so I like I want to be able to go out after the show yeah yeah yeah

Eponine you have to be visible in many of the many of the that's so funny but then Fantine does come back at the end sure

that's a thing whatever cause she comes back as like an apparition she doesn't have to belt her tits off like she does in you know in

why can't I think of the song Dream to Dream in Dream to Dream. In Dream to Dream, yeah. Well, she certainly has to be present. She has to be present. And listen, you can be like Anne and go method and fucking pull a tooth out. She didn't actually do that, but.

Wait. No, she didn't do that. Did any of them pull a tooth out for that performance? No, no, none of them did. But I, that's just what I equate like the pain of. You know, I think I was reading something that Nicolas Cage once had teeth removed

for as a performance oh my god would you do that I had you go so a little bit about me is I have a very

small mouth and really big teeth yes boys yes boys line up motherfuckers so when I was little

I surgically had six teeth removed. Removed? Oh. Oh, yeah. And so I never had to get the wisdoms out because there was space. Wait, hold on. I have a question. Does this mean you always had adult teeth?

Was the bitch born with a full mouth of adult teeth? No, it was when they came in, I had them. Really? It was like painful. It's all a blur. Yeah, but like it just had to be done. It had to be done. I was just under, you know, counting down from 10, passed out.

Passed out. Yes. Toothless. Oh my God, that's, honestly, my wisdom teeth surgery was a fucking dream. It was on Vicodin for four days and it was a heaven. I love any excuse to be like, oh, I have to stay in bed. Yes. See, yeah.

I got my wisdom teeth removed and I didn't respond well to the Vicodin. Like, I can't do Vicodin. It makes me too nauseous. But I was on, like, other drugs. Yeah, yeah. And I got really into True Blood. Oh. True Blood, like, really happened for me.

True Blood was your Vicodin. On drugs. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, True Blood is true. Will me True Blood was your Vicodin on drugs oh yeah yeah oh you True Blood is cool will I love you would love I think you would love

because I feel like you would appreciate a heightened pulpy yeah super well done like it's all New York actors like they're all incredible I can get behind that

I can get behind a New York actor honey I can get behind shooting in NYC yes well they shot it in Louisiana but they certainly took the actors from New York actor, honey. I can get behind shooting in NYC. Yes. Well, they shot it in Louisiana, but they certainly took the actors from New York. They lifted them from the New York stage and gave them an opportunity.

I want everyone to know that I am ready to be flown out. Yeah. Like, I want to be flown somewhere. It hasn't happened yet. Isn't that the dream? Hello, industry. I know. Fly her out. Ring, ring.

I mean, yeah, that's the dream, isn't it? I don't even care about where I stay. I just want the flight. See,'t even care about where I stay I just want the flight see I do care about where you stay they did give us a nice they gave us

a nice little situation we gotta hear we gotta hear is it now the time yes I was in Montreal for Just for Laughs new faces

characters congrats I'm very excited so it was a lot of fun and I'd say Montreal is incredible. Like, it's an amazing city. My hometown.

Your hometown, girl. Crazy. He had to grow up there. I had grown up. I didn't know. And, yeah, well, the first language, French. Can you believe this one? English, his third language.

Shut the, get out. You know what? Sorry. I can't even. And so good at the language. I can't even. Now, listen,

so, okay, so the festival was amazing and we did great. We're very happy with how it went but I do want to just say some names,

you guys, of people that I want you to. Come on. Because Last Culture Recess listeners, you know this is about to be a good part of your culture. Yes. So there was this one stand up

who fucking crushed and I want to know, have you guys ever heard of Sam Jay? No. All right, you guys have to check out Sam Jay. Go online, just type in the name, see what comes up, watch. I haven't gotten the chance to Google

and fully get obsessed online yet, but her set was no holds barred, killed. This is going to be a superstar. I know that she just recorded a Comedy Central half hour. Oh, great. Yeah, so that's coming. She's on the up and up.

Sam J. S-A-M-J-A-Y. S-A-M-J-A-Y. Amazing. Incredible. And then just want to shout out the other New Faces characters. Here they are. Kat Palardy and Avery Monson.

You guys can see them in LA. They're on the same mod team called Bombardier. Yum, yum, yum. And they're both so good. I just want to Shout them out This guy Jeff Dow

From Chicago Second city boy So fucking funny You guys Yes Like literally Had a crush on Okay

But beautiful wife Oh Like gorgeous wife Wife was part of the bit No Yes part of the bit Wife on stage Wife on stage

That's bold Okay Heidi Gardner Amazing amazing Groundlings girl Out in LA LA people Nico and the gang Yes That's part of the bit. Wife on stage. Wife on stage. That's bold. Bold. Okay. Heidi Gardner. Amazing. Amazing. Groundlings girl out in LA. LA people. Nico and the gang. Yes.

Go see Heidi and the main company. Bill Posley. Amazing. Amazing performer. He's also out in LA. Check him out. And then I call them my New York City bitches. We all know Miss Ana Fabrega.

Miss Ana. Oh, yes. Ana killed. Killed. Of course she did. No surprise. Just amazing. She's the best.

Check out Ana Fabrega she's gonna write for the new Gethard show yes and the Amy Sedaris show oh yeah

Amy Sedaris just like the world is her oyster I mean she's truly amazing and then just three more my girls

Matt Garing okay UCB mod a few sandwich lovers okay that's the name of their stupid ass team that's fun a few sandwich mod a few sandwich lovers okay that's the name of their stupid ass team

that's fun a few sandwich lovers a few sandwich lovers alright alright Matt and I's old team was lover wow he's obviously

wants to be in the sack okay okay and then just wanna shout out real quick John Trowbridge who I feel like is my fucking sister now

his sister I love him John Trowbridge you guys he turned like is my fucking sister now. His sister. I love him. John Trowbridge, you guys. He turned out in any Redmayne impression that was like the performance of the night. Legendary. So, so good. And then our way back pal, Yoni Lotan. Yoni Lotan.

Yoni, oh my God, just amazing. The dipsy at UCB. So these are just like people I want you guys to check out and you will fall into wormholes for all of them. And the festival itself was so fun. So grateful and exciting. What a goal. What a goal.

So fun. Matt's worked his ass off for this for a very long time. And it's so deserved. And I'm so happy for him. So happy. Kisses to Montreal. And I've seen his set. And it is top tier.

Golden icing on the cake. Coming from literally my two favorite people sitting right here. Oh, stop. I'm literally obsessed. And I'm not kidding. This is a little love fest right now and a little love fest for them. But it was an emotional week and it was a big bowl. Well, congrats to Matt.

Yes. Okay, Cath Co. Yes. Did growing up in Texas, because we had this conversation with Chrissy Shockover, who's also a Texas girl. Oh. Yes, Tex. Yes.

Did you grow up with like, she made a very blanket statement. She was like, if you were a girl growing up in Texas, you knew every Dixie Chicks album front to fucking back. And I was like, okay, I believe that, but is that, I don't know. There are exceptions.

Are you a Dix chick? I definitely had the album. That was assumed. Yes, yes. But, you know, oh, God. No, say it. I think, well, something I was going to say about culture. I feel like being part of this evangelical school church camp situation

held me back from culture in ways that I will never forgive. Yes. And never forget. Instead of reading, like, fucking cool authors, I was literally reading a book called Redeeming Love about a prostitute who decides she accepts the Lord and then is worthy of marriage. And I

had this crush on this really Christian guy. And so I used to take it to school and try and get him to see that I was reading it. So that would make him like me. Because he loved God. Yes. And would love you because you loved God. Exactly. And I can't actually think of a more boring person than this person.

But I was, like, heartbeat. Oh, my God. Were you about to say what he's doing now? Heartbeat song. Have you kept up with him or no? Oh, God. We don't have to talk about him. Yeah, I feel bad.

No, no, no, no, no. But I think he's just doing this. I think he went fully into it. Oh, he went fully into it. Oh, God. It's so interesting. I am forever fascinated. Oh, it's so awful.

I think, like, adolescent religion backgrounds, religious backgrounds, are as captivating to me as, like, pantshitting stories because it's so... Everyone sort of has one,

and I will listen to anyone's story about, like, their religious upbringings because I... This might be unfair. I do want to say, I kind of feel the same way about myself.

Like I missed out on a lot because I was just like obsessed with the social aspect of church and youth group and shit. And like, I could have been fucking reading, I don't know, Chaucer,

you know, like. Yeah. Or even just like finding things earlier that like bright eyes, like I found later because I was like, I've been reading the Bible.

Now I'm like, now I want to cry. Now like I've been reading the Bible and now I'm like now I want to cry now I want to be angry and I'm too old to like this but don't worry I like it you like it you're not too old

to like bright eyes because I went to go see Kacey Musgraves at the Northside Festival last year and she's good who opened for her but fucking

Connor Oberst I love and people turn out for Connor yeah people still love Connor and it was like a bunch of 40 year olds and I was like

oh yeah everyone this is like a, we're growing up with Connor. Oh, my God. I mean, he's huge. The thing about religion as a child is it's very, you have literally no say in the matter. So you could literally, like, nature versus nurture, whatever, in your nature, you could be 100%, like, not about what you are subjected to but if your parents are deciding that this is what's going to happen you have to sit with that for years and like and also

like I have friends that have found their own kind of religion as adults and I think we all kind of do that even if it's not a church you find the things that you treat religiously you feel spiritual about you find the things that you respond to so it you feel spiritual about, you find the things that you respond to. So it's just fascinating that like we're still kind of we still kind of do this thing around the world, obviously to different degrees, but where we just take our kids and indoctrinate them into these things that they didn't find and maybe would never have found.

Sure, sure, sure. Well, what's interesting, too, is my parents didn't really make me be a part of it. My dad's actually Jewish, Cohen. My mom raised us, like, gently Catholic, because, like, that's what her mom wanted. But then when I was in, I was going to all these Christian schools, because they were, like, the best schools, quote, and then I found all these

friends who, like, tricked me into going to church, and then I became obsessed, and then it was, like, the cool thing. It was a social thing. It was purely social. But then it brainwashed me into thinking, like, I became obsessed and then it was like the cool thing. It was a social thing. It was purely social but then it brainwashed me into thinking like I was bad and shameful.

You thought you were bad for having impure thoughts? Oh, I was the horniest little bitch and I had to just like, I had to just tame it forever and it was so fucked up

that I thought it was bad to feel that way. Oh my God. It took so long. What was that book called? So much undoing. Redeeming Love. Redeeming Love, honey. there's so much shitty christian cultural like music and books that's just like horrible i want to write a sequel to redeeming love that's about the prostitute

falling back into sex work and like feeling yes i'll tell you the sequel to redeeming love is reclaiming my time reclaiming my time. Reclaiming my time. I'm reclaiming my time. And you have reclaimed your time. Thank you. I'm trying. Thank God. Because now you get to be horny as much as you want.

I am all the time. And you are horny. You are a horny person. I know, Kath. I know she's horny. She's a horny individual. And that's okay. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Wait, Kath Ko, can we talk about really quick? I think you on Mouth Time is so funny. Oh, my God. Thank you. Mouth Time is so funny. Oh, my God. Thank you. Mouth Time, the Reductress podcast. Listen to the Patty Harrison episode. It was so goddamn funny.

It's you and Rachel Winitsky co-hosting. Rachel is the funniest person in the world. I had no idea. I didn't really know her before I went in to guest host. Oh, really? I mean, no, we were definitely friendly. Yes, of course. But I was like, like holy shit you are amazing

she's a revelation yeah well I feel like the doctor's amazed that podcast amazed of course yeah somebody

we had her on the show and then everyone was reaching out about how much fun they had listening to it and then I was like it was so funny because we're so used

to how funny she is now we literally were just fucking crushing McDonald's the whole episode just like shooting the shit yeah grew grew

that episode is called grew it's a household thing now. So stupid. A household thing. Well, I have to say, I have a monthly show at UCB East now

with Dave Rizzoni called Game Show. Yes. And we keep trying to make Gru a part of it and it like gets middling results. What?

It's incredible. I think you just keep doing it. I love Gru. This is only the second show you've done it and people are like, people don't understand and think it's bizarre.

They need to catch on. I think if you do it one more time and one more understand and think it's bizarre. They need to catch on. I think if you do it one more time, and one more show, and then it's officially a pattern. Yeah, okay. And then people will start like, oh, we gotta go to game show so they can do Gru. So they can do Gru,

and maybe they'll understand what it is if we keep doing it. Exactly. Okay, cool. It's like the gong in the gong show. Exactly. But Patty's episode of Mouth Time, God, you have this one line that I replay over and over

where you guys talk, speaking of religion and speaking of your quote earlier about most Americans being Equinox members. True. I think Patty was talking about how she, so Patty's playing this expert on slays, S-L-E-I-G-H, slays. Okay.

And she says how there are Christian slighs and there are secular sleighs. Oh, wow. And so, but then Patty also says, but the thing is, a lot of people in America are Christian. And then Catherine goes, in America, most people are Christian. You gotta love. In America, most people are Christian. So, iconic. There's nothing funnier than mispronouncing words.

It's so funny. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City are back. I love that. I love that. Oh my gosh. Welcome. And last season's drama was just the tip of the iceberg. You're recording us?

I am disgusted. Never in a million years after everything we've been through did I think that you would reach out to our sworn enemy. We were friends. How could you do this to me? I don't trust her. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Wednesdays at 9 on Bravo or stream it

on City TV+. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. Guess what, folks? We're teammates again. And we're going to welcome you guys all to Dudes on Dudes. I'm a dude. You're a dude. And Dudes on Dudes is our brand new show.

We're going to highlight players, peers, guys that we played against, legends from the past. And we're just going to sit here and talk about them. And we'll get into the types of dudes. What kind of types of dudes are there, Gronk? We got studs, wizards. We got freaks. Or dudes dudes. We got dogs. Dogs. We'll break down

their games. We'll share some insider stories and determine what kind of dude each of these dudes are. Is Randy Moss a stud or a freak? Is Tom Brady a dog or a dudes dude? We're gonna find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season.

Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty, and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. We talk about guilt, shame, body image, and huge life transformations. I was a desperate, delusional dreamer, and the

desperate part got me in a lot of trouble. I encourage delusional dreamers. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate, delusional dreamer. I just had such an anger. I was just so mad at life. Everything that wasn't right was everybody's fault but mine. I had such a victim mentality. I took zero accountability for anything in my life. I was the kid that if you asked what happened, I immediately started with everything but me. It took years for me to break that, like years of work. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, a five-year-old boy floated alone in the ocean.

He had lost his mother trying to reach Florida from Cuba. He looked like a little angel. I mean, he looked so fresh. And his name, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere. Elian Gonzalez. Elian, Elian, Elian Gonzalez. Elian, Elian, Elian Gonzalez. At the heart of the story is a young boy and the question of who he belongs with. His father in Cuba.

Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. At the heart of it all is still this painful family separation. Something that as a Cuban, I know all too well. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, as part of the My Cultura podcast network,

available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I have a question for you. Yes. We actually haven't really gotten into this with any guests, but we're having a horny conversation, so I want to get even hornier. I want us all to leave with rock-hardises yeah tonight i am slipping off my i want you to slide right off and then like

you literally slide out the building and we go no that's what i want out of today yeah i think we all pictured it like in a river of your own sacrilege. Sliding ass. Who made you the horniest as a preteen? Like, who in the media did you say, oh my God, I'm so in love? That's such a good question. Like, because who did it for you? Oh my God. Josh Hartnett?

No. Oh my God, Hartnett. But you know who? I'll say who it was for me while you think. Go, go, go. Chad Michael Murray. Do you remember his fucking, I'll say who it was for me while you think. Go, go, go. Chad Michael Murray. Do you remember his fucking red nipples? Never did it for me.

They're so red and big. No. I don't know. Chad Michael Murray, I love. He's not for me. Not for me. I've always been like, I like nerds. So who's a nerd?

Do you love Seth Cohen? Don't even. Oh my God. Seth Cohen. Adam Brody. Adam Brody did it for me. But the thing also is that I used to watch the OC on my mini TV, which was the size of my hand, while I worked on my seventh grade science fair project, which was get ready

for this. Oh my God. I can't wait. Which eye makeup remover works the best. And I was hot glue gunning and watching the OC sobbing. Oh my God. I used to cry at that show too. Very affecting.

Fucking love the OC. It's on Hulu now. I think we've talked about this many times. Because I was watching The Bachelorette and it ended. And then they just started playing the OC and I was like, oh my God. How did they know exactly what I wanted? They know their audience. The algorithm.

The OC is what I credit with giving me good taste in music. Yes, because the soundtracks. Those soundtracks. Those soundtracks. Go listen to them. They're amazing. So good. They have all the hits. Do you have a Spotify account?

Oh! Do I have Spotify? Well, here's the thing with Spotify is that they have, and I'll get to Spotify a little bit later. Oh, yes, we will. Daily Mix, Daily Mix. I don't know. He might be absent.

Oh, no. I might come after Spotify, but no, here's the thing. So Spotify has this podcast called Showstoppers where they talk to music supervisors on TV shows, and they talk to, her name is Alex Pistavas. She music supervised not only the OC, but Grey's Anatomy. She picked songs out and paired them. She picked Chasing Cars out and paired it with that scene.

Suleiman. Oh, wow, Anna Nalek. Oh, my God. Anna Nalek. And then she also chose Imogen Heap for the OC. Oh, that was iconic. She made these moments, and she just kind of talks about, yeah, I mean, I just picked it out.

She's so casual about it. People talk about Grey's Anatomy as like the show that like put music out but it was the OC hallelujah hallelujah I get chills thinking about

Jeff Buckley oh my god yeah also the theme song just like that theme song really had no right but it became

iconic Phantom Planet and California Phantom Planet was also big in the 90s and they were on the Sabrina the Teenage Witch soundtrack

and guys I gotta say it all holds up it's like a slightly better lit or a slightly better my own worst enemy it's a slightly better Sugar Ray I'll say Sugar Ray wow

he was another one. See, back when he had a normal human face, Mark McGrath, I used to love him. Yes, he was hot. He was hot. He did it for me. And a friend of ours, a friend of ours' sister fucked him. No. Oh.

We have a friend of ours, and I will not say, because that would say who she was, but the sister fucked her where where she's groupie she's a girl i can never swing that i sometimes tried like hanging out it's hard i would hang out for certain people i don't know how no i can't be that cool i know you know but whatever i would hang out for like anderson cooper i'd be at AC360. At one of his shows. Hi, you were great. No, I'm just kidding.

Well, apparently he lives in a haunted firehouse. Yes, you know. It's haunted? I walk by all the haunted spots. Yes, I walk by all the fire stations. I love the spooky. You are dodging the question. What?

You haven't said who made you horny. I kind of answered with Seth Cohen and with Mark McGrath. But you haven't said your own thing. Okay, okay. Oh, God. Leo? who made you horny? I kind of answered with Seth Cohen and with Mark McGrath. But you haven't said your own thing. Okay, okay. Oh, God. Leo? I feel on the spot.

Well, yeah, I mean, I was as obsessed as anyone else was in 1998. But, no. You know who did it for me? Who?

Does Mick Steamy count or does Eric Dane count or is that too old? Eric Dane definitely counts. You were just a little bit older when you got horny. Yeah. I just remembered my true one. Okay.

What's the true? It's so true. Ashton Kutcher. Yeah. Do you know that I cut out pictures of him from magazines and glued them to my camp trunk? Oh, wow. That's, that's, and this is that 70s show, Ashton.

Yeah. So like young, like golden retriever. Oh, like, young, like, golden retriever. Oh, I love that. Golden retriever. Dude wears a car. He kind of has it punched in the, he has a big nose. Oh, no, no, no, no. No, this is the number one.

That's a beautiful man. No, Sean William Scott was number one. Oh, Sean William Scott. What? Yeah, I loved him. Because he was on the cover of, like, Tiger Beat or something. With his hands in his pockets and no shirt on. And it was, like, a Marilyn Monroe sex symbol moment for me. was like this is the most beautiful yeah he was he I loved him too

because he very much represented the thing that like Long Island tells you to like which is muscles he had muscles yeah yeah and like I don't know I think Chad Michael Murray was like more my inner body saying no this is really what you like the tall lean man yeah there you go there you go wow but also I also like

oh boys oh yeah boys boys can we fucking talk about this song boys it's so

boys good and the video have you seen the video yeah video's great so many different kinds of boys

I love boys is I love boys. Is that the Fat Jewish? Yes. Oh, no. I know. What is that about? It's the one thing about it that's like, oh, come on. It's like the line in Woman by Kesha where she says, we, we just can't have nice things.

It's just take one thing off. It's what Coco Chanel says before you leave the house. Take one thing off. Oh, I remember. It's a great song. It's a good yearbook quote. Yeah. I don't know. Take one thing off. Oh, I remember. It's a great song. It's a good yearbook quote. Yeah. I don't know.

Take one thing off. I used to be obsessed with looking at yearbooks from my middle school and looking at all the cool older kids had as their quotes. Did you have a quote? Oh, yeah. Do you remember it? Yeah, because I just was home in Houston. I looked at my eighth grade yearbook and it was, tomorrow is another day.

God damn right There were words That's god damn right What the fuck Who cares Tomorrow is Another Day Like Oh you know

Was it maybe from that song Tomorrow's just another day Lilics Remember Lilics Oh I remember Lilics So I wake up Put on my makeup Remember that song

Yes Iconic Wait Speaking of songs, wait, go, go, go. I was just, that reminds me of the Josie and the Pussycats soundtrack,

which is my absolute number one. We just gasped in unison. That movie is far ahead of its time. Three small words. Did you guys know that the woman who did vocals as Josie, quote unquote, was the same,

was the same, the band from 10 Things I Hate About You on the roof that was them I got chills just now the blonde like Gwen Stefani

not for nothing but knock off it's her wow the spinning roof shot yes yes I love that letters to Cleo letters to Cleo

letters to Cleo yeah yeah okay what's the what's the oh I love won't you just pretend to be nice could you at least pretend to be nice?

Could you at least pretend to be nice? Oh, my God. Spin around. Come back home. You're going out of my mind. Send that lady. So good. I used to just spend hours just daydreaming about being in a talent show and singing those songs.

And finally the guy in the crowd would be like, huh. But instead it was like no bitch for like 18 years but wait did you also know another shady thing about Spotify

is they don't have that album nothing does Spotify doesn't have that album Spotify nothing does you have to

really be resourceful when you look at me with those innocent eyes oh my god so good also the movie is so good.

It's incredible. It has no right. And Parker Posey. Yeah, come on. Just when Parker Posey runs in at the end and she's like dressing them down, and she goes, yeah, because you know. And her choice of the way she says the words.

It's so funny. When she first meets the girls, she's like, welcome to your party. Like, just so kooky, kooky, great. Like, she was giving, like, little kids like us, like, I hadn't seen Best in Show, like, at this point. No, yeah, that was like. That came later.

Yeah, that came. I didn't see Waiting for Guffman. Like, I didn't know who Christopher Guest was. And I was like, who is this crazy actress? But she was so good and so funny. Giving you everything you wanted but didn't know Waiting for a Gap. I didn't know who Christopher Guest was. And I was like, who is this crazy actress? But she was so good and so funny. Giving you everything you wanted but didn't know you wanted. Exactly. Dream role. Dream.

Dream, dream. Oh, you know what? I think all three of us are destined to play that kind of role and inspire a little faggot child in the West. Yeah, a little chunky chick. Chunky. Chunky chick. Chunky chick.

Catherine, wait. I just want to talk really quickly about your songwriting process. So if you guys haven't seen Catherine's work, what she does on stage, or her show, The Twist, she's gorgeous. God, what a fucking title. It's the best title ever. It's the best title. It gets me every time.

Okay, so Catherine sings her own original songs. It's this gorgeous cabaret style thing. Like sort of review-esque show. Is that fair to say? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Talk to us about these original songs that you write, and sometimes with Henry Kuperski. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, what's your process with that? I wake up in the middle of the night. I gasp, and I think, it's time. It's time. To tell my story. No, I will schedule time with Henry. Incredible musician. We all know the best.

He's out there touring Europe right now. Oh my, the pictures. Follow him at Henry Kapurski. You gotta. You'll see pictures of his little Italian boyfriend he made. Oh. Yes, Claudio. Claudio?

Is this real? Yeah. Oh, well, I'll go. Good for him. They've separated since, but... Whatever. He's going to be so mad at me for saying that, but I don't care.

Leave it in. Well, I'm the queen of an international affair. We'll get into that later. Oh, great. I want to hear about that. So, yeah. Catherine comes over to the house, and she sits with Henry,

and they create beautiful... I basically just write a bunch of lines and songs, and I start singing what I think it might sound like, and then Henry is like, what vibe do you want? And I'm like, Mariah Carey, and then he'll just launch into it and then I just sing over it. That's amazing.

It comes fast. I feel like when it's a good song right away it's just like oh this is amazing. So then what comes first? Is it like the hook? Is it like the music first or is it the lyrics or is it both at the same time? I write all the lyrics and then the music. Okay and then the music comes after the lyrics. That's great. But sometimes yeah. I'm sure it's not always

that way. Yeah it's always different but I feel like if we're obsess But sometimes, yeah. I'm sure it's not always that way. Yeah, it's always different. But I feel like if we're obsessing over a song for too long and it's not feeling exciting, we both have to be like, it's not right. Kill your darling. You have to. And will it not be right because you feel like you're not laughing at it?

Yeah. Or, okay. I want to think it's funny. Musical comedy can be so cheesy and shitty and I don't want it to be. I want it to be surprising and I want comedy can be so cheesy and shitty, and I don't want it to be. I want it to be surprising, and I want it to be really specific and really personal.

Yeah, there is such a weird, fine threshold between what's successful as musical sketch comedy and what's just pretty run-of-the-mill. I mean, it's so easy, because Henry and I will just start laughing really hard if it's good. And if we won't, then we just go to the next song. That's the same thing. There was a song we were working on once that

was so stupid. I don't remember the hook but there was a line that was like, should I eat old fruit? Did that get written all the way? No. For that line we were hanging on because I was just Henry and I were just crying. As soon as you laugh that's how you know that's how you know Oh, come on. For that line, we were hanging on because I was just, Henry and I were just crying. Develop that.

I mean, as soon as you laugh, that's how you know. Like, that's how you know, like, when Matt would bring in a song for Populette meetings and the room would just die. Yeah. Yeah, you have to. You guys know. Guys, this is a lost deep cut from Populette, one of Matt's songs. Oh, no.

This never happened. It's called Open Disjar. Open Disjar. Should I do it? Yes. Can we both do it? I know the, this never happened. It's called Open This Jar. Open This Jar. Should I do it? Yes. Can we both do it? I know the lyrics. All right, it goes.

Somebody come open this jar, come open this jar for me. Somebody come open this jar, if you do then drinks on me. I can not open this jar, I have weak wrists, aha. Somebody come open this jar, I really need to eat. And then someone would come out and they would try to open this jar. I have. Somebody come open this jar. I really need to eat.

And then someone would come out and they would try to open the jar and they couldn't do it. And I would just be like, well, thanks for trying. Why did that happen? And I'd be like, somebody come. It would happen like three times. You know, a sketch. Yes. It didn't happen because we would do this thing

where the group would get together at the end of the writing month that we would have. And we'd vote in secret on the things that we all wanted to do. And it just never earned the votes. Just like Mitch McConnell didn't get the vote. Right. Maybe I'll do a new little one-man thing. And I'll put Open This Jar in it.

That's the title. Watch when you sit down with Henry and you come up with these like amazing melodies on top of like incredible comedic material and I'm like okay so here's what I want to do. Open this jocum! Open this jocum! Open this jocum! Me! Cause you know how you can't open jars? That's like how shallow my comedic sensibility is. It's an observation.

It's an observation. And should I eat old fruit? That is a real observation I have. Absolutely. I want to see that one revisited. I wonder what the hook was for that one. It'll come to me in a dream. And talk about, you know, I'm not giving you suggestions, obviously, but write about the mold. Write about the container, you know?

Yeah. It was like, should I eat old fruit? Should I fall out of a jet plane? What's the song that you guys you guys were doing it and I literally had to come in because I was laughing so hard. I usually like seclude myself

to the next room and I let them have their space. I love the vibe of rehearsing at your place. Yeah because I'm like okay bye and then like like they'll be doing it

and I'll come in and I'll be like obsessed. Yeah. Wait no. What's the best what's the one? The one? Oh my god.

Zit on my butt I love but I'm not talking about that one. Was it the Equinox one? No. Shit on the best? What's the one? The one? Oh, my God. Zit on My Butt I love, but I'm not talking about that one. Was it the Equinox one? No. Shit on the Street? Shit on the Street. Look at Me? Oh, I do love Look at Me.

That's my fave. Yeah. Can you sing a little bit of that? Yeah, it's... Boys never wanted to kiss me, so now I do comedy. Woo! Look at me, look at me, look at me, look at me That's what it is

Look at me, look at me, look at me, look at me That's what it is I love that shit It's so good I mean, this hook that Catherine wrote When you fuck it Oh yeah Uh oh

Cause it feels good Woo hoo Yeah, it's your word It's so good You guys have to see the show When is the next one? Uh-oh. Because it feels good. Woo-hoo. Yeah. It's your turn. You guys, it's so good. You guys have to see the show. When is the next one? I don't know the exact date.

Okay. But follow me on Twit and post. All right. So it's at the Duplex, which I feel like is like a home for us all. Oh, yeah. I love, feel so grateful to have discovered the Duplex. Shout out to Thomas. Thomas is the best.

Everyone who works there is a dream. Yes. Truly. And talented. Yeah. So talented. And the space is just like, it transports you to a different time. It's a very special space. Follow Catherine on Twitter to find out, and Instagram to find out when the show is. Also, also, also follow Henry because

you have to go to watch Henry when he plays. Henry will be in the piano bar of the duplex. And you can get up there and sing. And he does it a lot, you guys. So if you're in New York or visiting New York, and even if Henry's not there, just go down to the duplex. It's such a fun time. And it's history.

And it's history. Barbara performed there. Joan Rivers performed there. Yes, all of them. And yeah, if you want to run into us casually, most of the time we're there at the duplex. We're chilling. We're hanging with Henry during his open mic nights. It's so fun.

We went there the night after the election. Everyone was so sad, but it was like the one beautiful thing that came out of that night. Oh my God, yeah, we did go there the night after the election. But then Aaron Jackson and Matteo Lane led everybody in a group sing along

to Little Town from Beauty and the Beast. And it was the most joyful fucking thing. So, I mean, yeah, just catch us there. Catch us there. Hey, if you want to catch us, I'll tell you where. The dupe. The dupe. Okay.

Let's quickly read the user submitted rule of culture. Okay, yes. So now we've started doing user submitted rule of culture. And this is a really good one and this is a really good one. This is a really good one. And you know what? Topical for this episode. This was submitted by Lynn Schmidt,

and we thank you, Lynn, for submitting this. This is rule number 103. Know your Katherines. Know your Katherines. And she specifically specified Katherine Hahn. Yes. Katherine O'Hara. Katherine O'Hara and Katherine Keener.

And this is good because we have Katherine Cohen, who soon will join their ranks. specifically specified Catherine Hahn. Yes. Catherine O'Hara. Catherine O'Hara and Catherine Keener. Oh my God. And this is good because we have Catherine Cohen, who soon will join their ranks. I am honored to join the ranks of those three incredible Catherines. And there's, of course, Catherine Heigl. Yes. You know, we have-

Incredible, incredible Catherine. Of course, Mrs. McCluskey on Desperate Housewives. Catherine Joosten. Yes. The past two, rest in peace. Yes, yes. And many other, Catherine Deneuve, famous French actress. Yes. I know two, rest in peace. Yes. And many of Catherine Deneuve, famous French actress.

I know so many Catherine's. I know so many great Catherine's. And that is so nice because growing up, as you know, there's the chain or maybe Catherine's plus sizes. Oh, no, I had no idea.

At least in Houston, there was a chain of Catherine's plus sizes. My brothers would all be like, look, it's you, fat. Oh, no. It's like, that was obviously my heel. How dare them. So I was like, no, it's you, fat. Oh, no. That was obviously my heel.

How dare them. So I was like, no, Catherine is a beautiful and regal name that I love. Yes. And here I stand. I think it's actually one of the best names. Because it's timeless. It's classic. No matter how you spell it.

No. Yeah, exactly. But I do love the way that you spell it. I think without the Y is best. Without the Y. I like with a C. I think it's sort of like sensual. C is classical.

K is a little too modern. I do like both, but I love a good C. And listen, if you're out there listening to this and your name is Catherine with a K, I don't know. I don't know about you. And we can hash this out online. Let me know.

Yeah, by all means, attack us. Attack us. Come at me. At us. Come at me. But thank you, Lynn Schmidt, rule number 103, know your Catherine.

I think that's true because I just watched I Love Dick. Oh, yes. So good. Catherine Hunt. Yeah, she's so good in that. She's incredible. And Kevin Bacon is amazing in that too.

The whole thing is great. Shout out to Phoebe Robinson. Yes, love Phoebe Robinson so much. She did it a lot. She chatted about that show on the pod when she was on. Yes. And I actually hadn't heard much about it yet. But everyone's saying it's great.

I'm going to watch. The book is. I've never read the book. You've got to read the book. You've got to see the show. It's part of just the feminist. Yeah. It's just.

It's part of the meat. Yeah. And I didn't realize that the book was this classical. Yes. Not classical. But it's just this like. Staple. Feminist text. Yeah. It's a staple it's part of the meat. Yeah, and I didn't realize that the book was this classical, not classical, but it's just this like feminist text. It's a staple. Thank you. It's great.

Yeah. And it's all these letters that she wrote to this guy that she was obsessed with. And the show is great. Like it's so stylized. Is it funny? Is it a comedy? It's technically a comedy, but it's just like.

Oh, it's like one of those. The show sent me into a place. It's like, but it's just like, oh, it's like one of those. The show sent me into a place. It's like, but it's intense. Yes. But I think it's like they were sort of like positioning it as a comedy, weirdly, you know? Yeah, there are some moments. But the whole thing is like there's this big Texas sky, and it's always like dusk. It's gorgeous.

And you're just like, oh. Yeah. Oh, yeah, Texas, yeah. So you must have been like, oh. That was me in the background. No, I wish. I would love to be like, oh. That was me in the background. No, I wish. I would love to be involved. Wow.

I would love to be involved. Season two. Can you stream all episodes? Yeah. It's on stream. Oh, so it's one of those. It's Jill Soloway, yeah. Oh, okay, cool.

Yeah. And I think there's the Duplass brothers? No. Maybe not. No. He's another one. He's one that you don't really want to fuck, but then you watch him. I want to fuck both of them. Oh, I'll fuck any of them. No, the one on Transparent, he's hot. And the other that you don't really want to fuck but then you I want to fuck both of them

yeah no the one on Transparent he's hot and the other one I like the other one older nerdy one you know I like the nerdy you love nerdy

I used to think it was so like brave of me to be like I want a nerdy guy and I don't care about muscles and now it's like everyone's like yeah those are hot guys

I'm secretly attracted to fuckboys so I think that like that's why that's why I like him in the show is because he's such a fuckboy on that show. Oh, yeah. But I also only watched the first season. Oh, you.

Transparent? No, that's good. It's the best. Is it the best? It really is. I watched it and I was like, see, it just lost me a little bit. It didn't grab me like say this season of The Bachelorette no

okay are you guys watching you are I made you watch those I watched a few apps who won there's no winner yet but there's a final three

I just can't and tonight tonight so this week you guys yeah the men tell all

here's the thing the episodes are each 17 hours long exactly and I'm like what is my new life? They are so long. And you're either down for it or you're not.

That is exactly how I feel for it. Like, we were watching the one from last week where they all go to Spain and met Rachel's parents last night. And, like, God, it was just, like, it felt like an eternity had gone by. And I was like, we're almost done with this, right? And it was, like, 35 minutes in. I hit the button and it was like halfway done yeah until like an 88 minute show and I was like no way no fucking way and so I mean I like it it's good television for sure um I want to say Brian is horrible I'm team what's his name do you like Eric the Silver Fox? No, Eric is not the Silver Fox.

Eric is Baltimore. Eric is Baltimore. And then Peter. He's from Madison, Wisconsin. I like Peter a lot, but he's also stoic and too aloof. And Rachel does not need that. Well, Eric straight out told her that he was in love with her. And then they went to the Fantasy suite, which means they banged.

And they looked like two people who had a really good time banging. Gotcha. Okay, and then what happened? What was this whole, I only saw the little bumper in between the commercials. What did he say that made her cry?

Peter told Rachel. Well, I think Rachel's being a little ridiculous. And let me know what you guys think about this. So what does being engaged mean? Well, this is, I think Rachel's being a little ridiculous. And let me know what you guys think about this. So what does being engaged mean? Well, being engaged means that you will get married. Yes. Being engaged doesn't mean, like, it's a more serious form of dating. No, that's insane.

You get engaged because you're going to get married. So Peter doesn't want to get engaged. And Peter's like, I'm not ready to get down on one knee you be engaged to you because i feel like while i am falling in love with you i want to do that one time for real and i don't feel that i'm in that place but we can get there if you hang with me and choose me and so she freaked out and she is like see i don't see engagement like that i want to be engaged by the end of this process. And I think what she's doing is she's combining... Dating. She's combining, like...

She's comparing everyone. And some of them, I think, are crazily in this place where they're willing to say, I want to get married to you right now. I'm in love with you. It's just bizarre when the courtship is, like, synonymous with the engagement. Right?

Yes. It is weird. Yeah, anyway. No, I saw that clip and I was like, Rachel, please. It just feels like I've been with her

every step of the way and now for her to say something like that, I'm just kind of like, see, are you saying that because the show is putting pressure on you because obviously

they want an engagement so they can then air the wedding, et cetera, et cetera? Yeah. Like, is that what's going on here? Or do you genuinely believe this? And if so, is the fact that the show wants this making you throw away the best guy for you,

who I think is Peter? Okay, also, it could just be a fully producer-engineered moment and they just really acted the shit out of that. But she was crying. I mean, is she a fucking Academy Award-winning actress? She cries a lot. Probably. Yeah.

And she looks great while she cries probably yeah and she looks great while she cries she certainly does look great are you watching it HPJ I just watch and I feel nothing same

I'm like I feel my brain rolling out of my ears but honestly I kind of like it no it's just so easy to watch and it doesn't make me anxious

like literally my thing is everything makes me anxious like I was like watching Mad Men behind a pillow. Oh my god. For more Bachelor coverage, listen to the Forever Dog podcast, Fresh Batch, hosted by

Michelle Collins, friend of the show. I am obsessed with her. She's so funny. She's so good. She's fantastic. As a fan, I mean, I don't know. You don't know her personally. Not yet. But if you want to know her and meet her, she'll be at I Don't Think So Honey. I lost culture.

It's just live. There's that plug we needed before the next segment. And can I just say, it's on my birthday. What? Are you going to come? I'm going to be out of town. Oh, please. Go out of town for your birthday. Do it.

Come on. But I will say that the first one was the, not kidding, best night of my life. Oh, my God. You killed. It was the most magical joyous community celebration we're very proud of it so fun and we're gonna have a great fucking time it's gonna um go on your fucking ticket fly or whatever it is yeah and buy tickets you can get them i believe it's ten dollars in advance gonna be 12 at the door something like that so august 11th doors are

gonna be open at seven the show will start at the door or something like that. So August 11th. Doors are going to be open at 7. The show will start at 8, guys. Amazing people like Michelle Buteau, Michelle Collins. Broadway people like Joelle Perez. Oh, my God. Yeah. So people were reaching out to us saying that the ticket link said it was sold out, but they've just released a new batch of tickets, which means that, you know, tickets are kind of scarce.

So get on that. Here's the thing. You will have fun if you come to the show. Yes, it'll be so fun. So there you go. You will be overjoyed. You will gag. Testimonial from Cathaco.

Okay, here we go. And now it's time. It's time for I Don't Think So Honey. It's time for I Don't Think So Honey. I Don't Think So Honey is, of course, the segment which that show is going to be based on. It's one minute that we take to rail against something in culture that's really, it's just not right we take to rail against something in culture that's really

it's just not right there's something not right about it and we take a minute to dress it down now I believe Bowen has one and we've alluded

to it several times yes okay I'll start so is that okay that you start yeah absolutely okay wow this is

this is Bowen Yang's I Don't Think So Honey and his time starts now I Don't Think So Honey, and his time starts now. I Don't Think So Honey, my Spotify Discover Weekly playlist for thinking I am basic gay trash. Do not keep putting the same Raja, Mimi I'm First,

fucking Nina Flowers trash tracks. I don't want to listen to Willem sing over a shittily produced beat. I contain multitude, Spotify. I listen to too much fucking Blood Orange and Mitski and, you know, Waxahachie for you to judge me like this. I feel judged by Spotify. I'm going to say it. Spotify, you're judging me.

And I am not that girl, okay? I am a deep musically cultured motherfucker and if you don't put more indie inspired tracks on my discover weekly I'm going to sue you for defamation of character for character assassination honey to quote Taylor Swift

another artist whom I like but am not enamored with in the way that you think I am by putting Selena Gomez Spotify it's not gonna happen that's one minute see i'm not it's not gonna happen with me and selena okay there you go here's the thing you they wouldn't be on the list if you weren't listening to things that alluded to those things it's so i'm sorry they are they are smarter than you i'm listening to rupaul and so spotify thinks that i like all the drag queens and because you will no i don't i promise you i fucking hate will Because you will. No, I don't. I promise you.

I fucking hate Willem and Alaska and fucking. You don't like Alaska's music? I like Alaska's music, but I don't like it when it's Willem, Alaska, and Courtney and Courtney Act doing their American Apparel Girls thing. I'm like, no. As an avid follower of Bowen's playlist, I will say that he has so many layers. I have so many layers. Thank you so much, Cathco. I just want to thank Spotify

for nailing it every time with me. We get it right every time. My Spotify for you playlist is really dead on. And thank you so much, Spotify. If you'd like to sponsor the podcast, don't let what Bowen just said turn you off. Some of us aren't as one-dimensional. A little bit more professional. Some of us aren't as one-dimensional.

This is Matt Rogers' I Don't Think So Honey. We've got one women on the clock as Peter Smith said this rollercoaster has started and we are on it that's a good Peter impression Matt Rogers I don't think so honey time starts now I don't think so honey the doctor who prescribed me antibiotics

for bronchitis which is a virus listen I listened to you because you have a, I assume, medical degree. Oh.

But then, I didn't feel better. In fact, I felt worse. And I'm still coughing, bitch. I don't think so, honey. Why would you put me on a Z-Pak, a powerful antibiotic,

for something that, and maybe you guys can reach out to me if you have a fucking doctorate, and like, let me know what the fuck this is. Because I feel worse. And why would you prescribe an antibiotic, which is to treat bacterial infections, yes, for something that is a virus? I mean, you said I trusted you.

I trusted you. I trusted you. I looked you in your eyes. And you said you patted me on the back and you made jokes to me. I praised you on this eyes. 15 seconds. And you said, you patted me on the back and you made jokes to me? I praised you on this podcast for your humor. Well, I take away that praise today because you have made me sick. Five seconds. You have made me cough.

And it was anxious up at Montreal because I had a performance and I was cough, cough, cough. And I don't think so, honey. And that's one minute. I still cough. You still cough. Okay, well, Matt, here's the thing. Not to, you know, not to plug another Forever Dog podcast, but Relatively Healthy,

hosted by Janie Stoller and Ellen Stoller. But absolutely to plug them. Absolutely to plug them. We can call them up and ask them. But I think I do know why. I think I will call. But I will say, last summer I had a cough thing, and it just lingers for like a month.

That's just what they do? It's just what happens. If you want to go out and live your life, you have to just accept. Listen to that. It's horrible what happens. If you want to go out and live your life, you have to just accept that. Listen to that. It's horrible. I mean, I know. I mean, the thing is, like, it just made me nervous because I thought I was going to get better.

And then, of course, I had this, like, high stakes performance where I have to use my full voice. And I was like, Jesus Christ. I was just irritated. But your voice sounds great. Thank you. It did not hold you back. It didn't hold me back. No.

Thankfully. But it was like a nightmare situation where I was like, oh God, of course this of all weeks. That's how it always goes. But the adrenaline takes you to the top. There you go. Maybe I should just be prescribed adrenaline. Maybe I should just be prescribed life.

Maybe I shouldn't even ever go to CityMD. Maybe I don't need all this. Okay, now I have a theory as to why they prescribed you antibiotics anyway, even though they knew it was vital. Yeah, you got into this a little bit last night what did you say because I think it's just

not a prophylaxis but it's just like it's preventing it from becoming from being compounded by something a prophylactic but here's the thing

call 844-STOLAR-X to leave a message for the relatively healthy hotline I think I will maybe we'll have some crossover we'll have some crossover

okay Cathco this is it it's time this is Catherine's I don't think so honey healthy hotline. I think I will. Maybe we'll have some crossover. We'll have some crossover. Okay, CathCo. This is it. Oh my God. It's time. This is Catherine's. I don't think so, honey. Catherine's I don't think so. What was your,

the one that you did at the show was about women's clothing sizes. Yes, yes. Oh, I could do a whole other hour on that. And that is actually on Spoke. Yes. On Spoke, the app. Get Spoke.

Get Spoke. It's sponsoring the show. It's sponsoring us. They're great friends of ours. Through SiriusXM. It's their new app. Their discovery app for podcasts. Yeah, and they put Catherine Cohen's

I Don't Think So Honey live on that. And now we're about to hear another one right here. This is Catherine Cohen's I Don't Think So Honey and her time starts now. I don't think so honey when I look at my iPhone and the sun reflects off my iPhone and directly into my eyes. No, Apple.

No, my eyes. You need to change the phone. You need to change the sun. You my iPhone and directly into my eyes. No, Apple. No, my eyes. You need to change the phone. You need to change the sun. You need to change the way it goes right into my eyes. I send out a tweet when I'm walking down the street. I look. I want to refresh for likes. I want that rush.

I want to feel needed and important. And all of a sudden, the light blinds me right in my own eyes. And, bitch, you know, honey, that I have migraines with a visual aura that is triggered by bright lights. So I shy away from bright lights. I wear sunglasses inside if I need to because of the migraines. So I don't want to look at my phone to see if I've booked or if I got a text or if he finally texted back. I only have the sun herself shining me right back in the eyes.

The sun should go down earlier. I don't like the heat. I don't like the summer. All I've ever done in a bikini is sob. Time for fall. Take the sun down. Apple, fix it. Oh, my God.

That's one minute. Change the sun. Change the sun. Migraines with a visual aura. Oh, my God. I mean, what a beautiful tapestry of words. It the sun. Migraines with a visual aura. Oh, my God. I mean, what a beautiful tapestry of words. It was amazing. It was athletic, what you just did.

Well. I think that goes in the Hall of Fame. That was performance. That was a Hall of Fame performance, and we thank you for it. I'm honored. I mean, it's something I feel really passionate about. How many times a day does that happen to you? It happens a lot. Which is like, either it reflects

into your eye and there's the glare or the brightness doesn't go up high enough in the sun. Yeah. I try and go out for a jog. I try and be good to myself.

I want to change the song. No. I'm blinded for a full minute. You can never win with Apple. No. Or with jogging.

Or with jogging or with our visual auras in our migraines. It's never happened to me. You know why I get migraines? I think it's fake. Because I'm incredibly sensitive. Yeah.

So do you get them the kind of one where you sort of feel coming on and you're like, guys, gotta go. Yeah, I'm like a woman who needs to be by the sea. Like I need to like

take my time. A woman who needs to be by the sea. Or by a lake. Rule number 79 of culture. Some women need to be by the sea. Or by a lake? Rule number 79 of culture. Some women need to be by the sea. Yes, to heal. To heal.

This is such a great episode. Cath Co. I love you guys so much. You are a dream. I seriously, I listen to everything. So I know so much about you and all the guests. And I'm going to say that I love all the guests. Oh my God.

And now? Equally. And I'm going to say that I love all the guests. Oh, my God. And now? Equally. And now you join the Pantheon. Oh. And I'm so excited for you guys to be in the Turner Masters Memory Hospital. Yes. Which I'm going to plug. It is a narrative fictional podcast, six episode absurd comedy series written by myself and

my love, Stephen Marco. Yes. I love that plug. Limited series, honey. Limited series. You know what? Limited series, not on like Big Little Lies. Will there be just as much drama? I think that there will. Will there be a lot of speculation about season two? Maybe. I think that

there will. There's a lot of finger wagging going on right now. Will there be Reese Witherspoon puking up green? No. Oh, wait. I almost for a second forgot about that scene. Oh, yeah. Amazing. It's everything.

Somebody I was talking to recently was like, that was crazy in the finale when she puked up green. I was like, that wasn't the last episode, but if it had been the last image of the show,

I would have been gagged. Truly. Just ends with that. I don't need that whole beautiful last sequence of them staring into the ocean. Gotta love. Okay, we love you so much, Catherine.

I love you guys. Where can they find you on social so that they can go to your show? At Cat C. Cohen. At Cat C. Cohen. There you go. I do the Instagram, Twitter. She does it all. All of it.

All of it. Gag for it. So listen, my name is Matt Rogers. My name is Bowen Yang. And this is I Don't Think So Honey. Thank you so much. This is Uncle Teresa's. Oh my God, wow. I mean, that's crazy. I guess you guys should come Think So Honey. Thank you so much. This is Uncle Teresa's. Oh my God.

Wow. I mean, that's crazy. I guess you guys should come to the show. I really messed up. Yeah. Okay. Oh my God. I'm so embarrassed.

Bye. Bye. Thank you guys. Wait. I'm so embarrassed. I'm so embarrassed. I'm humiliated. This is so crazy.

Oh my God. We're still going. Oh my God. I'm so embarrassed. Are we still filming? Oh my God. Forever. Dog.

This has been a Forever Dog production Executive produced by Joe Cilio Alex Ramsey and Brett Bohm For more podcasts please visit ForeverDogProductions.com Dog I'm Julian Edelman I'm Rob Gronkowski

And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind-the-scenes stories, crazy details, and honestly, just having a blast talking football. Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all times, from legends to our buddies to current stars. We're finally answering the age old question. What kind of dudes are these dudes? We're going to find out Jules.

New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to dudes on dudes on the I heart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Cheryl swoops and I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby and on our new podcast we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day because no matter who you are there are levels to what we experience as women and T and I have no problem going there listen to levels to this with Cheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby an iHeart women's sports production in partnership with Deep Blue

Sports and Entertainment you can find us on the iHeartRadio app Apple podcast or wherever you get Foster Brasby and I heart women's sports production and partnership with deep blue sports and entertainment. You can find us on the I heart radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcast presented by capital one founding partner of I heart women's sports. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of on purpose. My latest episode is with jelly roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had.

We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. I was a desperate delusional dreamer. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom.

Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.