Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - "In Your Face, My Love!" (w/ Andy Beckerman & Naomi Ekperigin)

Episode Date: October 3, 2018

Comedians/real-life couple Andy Beckerman & Naomi Ekperigin (Couples Therapy podcast) join your hosts for a boisterous, cathartic ep that finally answers the question: what would Matt & Bowen be like in couples therapy? And if Andy & Naomi wanted to join, is there such a thing as couples therapy therapy?Topics include podcast reviews, kid complexes, fucking inanimate objects, Buffy, Strangers With Candy, Reboots, mainstream Gay Culture, Bert and Ernie, and so much more!Plus, is "Icy Detente" the name of an improv team or a drag queen?---MERCH! MERCH! GET YOUR LAS CULTURISTAS MERCH!https://www.teepublic.com/stores/las-culturistasLAS CULTURISTAS HAS A PATREON! For $5/month, you get exclusive access to WEEKLY Patreon-ONLY Las Culturistas content!!https://www.patreon.com/lasculturistasSUBSCRIBE ON APPLE PODCASTS TODAY!CONNECT W/ LAS CULTURISTAS ON FACEBOOK & TWITTER for the best in "I Don't Think So, Honey" action, updates on live shows, conversations with the Las Culturistas community, and behind-the scenes photos/videos:www.facebook.com/lasculturistastwitter.com/lasculturistasLAS CULTURISTAS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASThttp://foreverdogproductions.com/fdpn/podcasts/las-culturistas/ Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This fall on Bravo. It's time to turn up. Think you've seen it all? I don't think you've been a good friend to me lately. We're friends like that, who needs enemies? You ain't seen nothing yet. Cheers to being Germanic. With the Real Housewives of Potomac.

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an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Forever. Dog. Look, man. Where? Oh, I see. Wow. Bowen, look over there. Wow, is that? FOREVER! DOG! as I say, verve. A little extra verve. A little extra. Oh, Bowen. Oh, Matt. Wait, what's going on?

You know, we've had a 10-year relationship. Yes. It's been a decade long. Yes. Couples therapy. Couples therapy. Should we consider it?

There are rumors of multiple podcast co-hosts that have done it. That actively do it still. Yeah, I won't name names but there are there are like you know famed you know storied couple like uh you know co-hosts the do hoes the do hoes that have gone through couples therapy together yes i have a feeling how i know how our therapy session would play out go it would be bowen calmly expressing how oftentimes I talk over him and take up

all the air in the room. And then it will be 50 to 52 minutes of me crying loudly about how that's not true. In a 45 minute session. In a 45 minute session. Yes. And the, the,

the, I almost called it a moderator. The therapist. Moderator. Oh. The therapist would say in that Carrie Fisher tone from Austin Powers, we have to stop.

And we wouldn't be asked back. We wouldn't be asked back. I'm sorry. Can I apologize to you? About what? I'm annoying. No, you're not. The reviewers of this podcast say

she's annoying. That review... Can you read it aloud? I think someone... They took it down. you read it aloud? I think someone, they took it down. They did not. Because I think someone saw your story

and they flagged it. So you sicked your fucking fans on this poor person. Here, you have this poor person who said the following and I don't know if I'll ever forget it.

Go, quote it. Matt Rogers is so annoying. What else? He's a bad singer who gives me Frankie Grande level, attention-seeking level. I hate you. Period.

And also he dropped in, Bowen Yang and all the guests are excellent. Excellent with an A. Excellent with an A. E-X-C-E-L-L-A-N-T. So there you go. And if that person's listening, we don't mean to mock your spelling.

No, but you know what? Spelling is subjective. It's actually rule of culture number three. Spelling is subjective. I don't know my words, but I do know my heart. And that's a frequent thing I say on this podcast. So maybe me and this review are more connected than we possibly could ever imagine.

Sure. So sorry, Bowen. I mean, but see, now you're putting the emotional labor on me to forgive you. I can't win or miss town. And I don't know if I'm ready. So just give me my own time. So how do we communicate?

How do we go on? How do we go on? You, I think we only speak through HPA and HPJ. No, I don't want to do this. There are conduits. No, I'm kidding. I want to talk to them.

No, Matt and I and... HPA, so cute. He's sitting over there. Such a little cutie. I think we are doing just great. We've really, you know, we've had some rocky patches in our friendship.

True. And we've weathered every storm. And I think we've been through our lowest moments i would knock on wood let's hope how would it get worse um if you fucked my mom that's how i don't feel that i don't feel that that's the way my mom and my chemistry your your mom and my chemistry is you you've chemistry is you've met her once I've met her once and I feel like the chemistry was very positive it just didn't feel sexual to me

okay how dare you rule that out I'm just saying I know what I like and I think at this point in my life I think I like boys bone I think it's time you know who I do like our beautiful guests.

Speaking of couples therapy. I mean, this is climbing, climbing, climbing the charts, baby. Honey, forget about climbing. Perched up on top. It's on the perch. Honey! Honey! Honey! It's on a redwood. It's on a redwood tree.

There's no branches, though. Not even a one. Not a branch. Famously, redwood. It's on a redwood tree. It's on a redwood tree perched. There's no branches, though. Not even a one. Not a branch. Famously, redwood trees, they have no branches. Thrill of culture number 91. Redwood trees have no branches. Go out to Sam's Friends. Check them out.

I think they do. I don't know. I think we've debunked it. We've debunked. Well, these are two fantastic, fantastic people. Stunning. Stunning comedians. And they are hosting this new fantastic podcast,

Couples Therapy, on How Stuff Works. We just did their live show. So fun. Last night, truly one of the most positive performing experiences I've had. I had a really fun time with you on stage. Such a fun time. I'm not being hyperbolic. This was really so fun and just effortless.

And it's it's a credit to how they build up the audience like how they sort of set the tone in the room for the audience and the concept of the show and just everything oh it's just so well paced it wasn't weighed down by you know

hosting bits or anything like that it was just no their hosting bit was so it was so effervescent bit was so was so effort it was so effervescent some of these hosts let me tell you they weigh the showdown no and i'm saying we sometimes we do that and we're all no we're all susceptible never not once but you know what these two speak for your fucking self are just so charming on stage so i cannot have you in this grovelly state for the rest of the episode. I'm so sorry. You know how hard this year has been for me.

Don't saddle the episode with this. No, I can't wait to bring these guests in because I cannot deal with this for the rest of the episode. I've been attacked online today. Stop. How dare you do this to me. Oh my god.

You must check out their live show. The next one is in LA at the Virgil, Saturday, October 6th. Saturday, October 6th. A day after A Star is Born comes out. Yes, absolutely, honey. And that is, it's before A Star is Born and after. Those are the demarcations.

Please welcome into your ears Andy Beckerman and Naomi Ekperigan. Hey. Hey, king and queen. Guys, guys, so much. King and queen. Guys, so much. First of all, there's a lot to say. Naomi and I, we do actual couples therapy.

It's great. I would like to point out, Bowen, you walked Matt into a trap. You said, let me just point this out. What did I say? Let the man finish. Mad-ass, what could you do to ruin this relationship?

You said, fuck my mother. Yeah. And then he said, I would never. And then you said, what, you don't find her attractive? Yeah, it was crazy what you did. What a trap. You're psychotic. It was servicing-

An emotional bear trap in his heart. Servicing the bit. It was servicing the bit. Well, and this is the thing, you know, and that can be so hard when you have this relationship and bits are what give you life, but also what can be so unnerving, right? You want to commit to a bit,

but then we're all these delicate creatures. Honey, because we're going to talk about it. I'm only just now realizing my trauma. I'm only just now realizing that I've been through something traumatic in my relationship with Bowen. No, because I'm coming here on Bowen's side, but I'm only just now realizing that I've been through something traumatic No I'm coming here on Bowen's side But I'm going to talk about you guys You will get to hear Bowen and Matt's hilarious live set

On our podcast Couples Therapy It's making the pod? Oh you know it is But I will say I do want to call back to something A little spoiler alert Bowen and Matt they did talk on stage About the sliding scale What to find, what to do and i'm telling you yeah come on we can hook you up yes with a therapist

for fifty dollars or under seriously i'm telling you fifty dollars or under right now yes honestly i need that there was a point at which i was seeing someone in new york for fifteen dollars a session and she had a degree and so if it's possible for me to find somebody and you know the way you feel about finding the right person i got all sorts of triggers you got to be white but not too white yes you got to use the right language you can't be you can't be a black and in my mother's age group yes that's gonna be triggering i'm gonna need too much approval oh my god i can't be honest you can't be a man. You know what I mean? So I get it, like needing to find that perfect person. But I get this because your relationship is much like our relationship.

Okay. I'm a Bowen. I'm in the Bowen. I'm in Andy. Yeah. And I am definitely a Matt Rocher. You guys are in a block together. That's how you identify in life.

In life. Look, bits can either be the melted cheese in your grilled cheese sandwich or they can be the rocks in Virginia Woolf's pockets. Oh my god. That was another part of poetry. I thought it was going to be another component of grilled cheese. Exactly. Or the rocks in your grilled cheese.

The agent of suicide. Okay, so how, as a couple, are you a bit-driven couple would you say? Andy's much more into bits. Really? And I'm not really here for bits. Okay, so then that way I'm the Naomi.

You know? You do bits, bitch. Yeah, but you're the one who's just pulling them out and I don't want them in my life. I'm constantly on. See, you gotta do, honey, I get off the clock and I'm off the clock. Same. I come home, I take off the clock and I'm off the clock. Same.

I come home, I take off my pants. We have a punch card. I do take off my pants. We put the punch card in. It says 5 o'clock. There's a whistle. Do you see what I mean? This is a bit.

This is a bit. This is a bit. It's not accurate and I wasn't ready. Well, I feel like everyone should know we don't have an old school 1980s punch card system with a Flintstones-esque whistle. You're correct. But we didn't necessarily need to go with a Flintstones-esque whistle. You're correct, but we didn't necessarily need to go to a Flintstones place. I was already discussing my disrobing routine.

And that was fun. And that was vulnerable. You took it to a Flintstones place. Andy, how dare you? And that is very Bowen Yang. He's always taking it to a Flintstones place. I listen. There's always one Flintstones ref each app. I love that. Flintstones is a one Flintstones ref each app. I love that. I love that.

Flintstones is a part of culture. It is. Truly. Have we talked about the Flintstones on here? We've not talked about Hanna-Barbera in the slightest. We've not even touched on Hanna-Barbera. Where's all the Muttley talk? What is Muttley? See, half the time I don't know the ref.

And that's me with Bowen. No, that's me with you. I grew up without cable and I'm always like what the fuck are you talking about bitch you're always using a big word oh god I feel like we're playing risk there's so many changing

so many things happening alliances this is crazy it's crazy that only two of us are gonna walk out of this room oh no that's the most crazy thing about this it's gonna be me and Bowen I think

oh why do you think I would die now we're on the same side I don't know. You would, trust me, your death would be accidental

and by your own hand. Friendly fire. It would be. So wait, what's my death? Oh no, you obviously wouldn't know your own lack of strength.

You would self-immolate. Oh yeah. You would self-immolate. Sorry sir, but Naomi was going to know your own lack of strength. I feel like Andy would go in not realizing.

No, you do have strength, but in various arenas. And if you don't go into the right arena, something could go down. Absolutely. You have to really make sure that you're in the right arena. That's a rule of culture number 49. You have to really make sure you're in the right arena. Now, this is interesting.

We've had a couple of duo guests, two guesters episodes, but this is an interesting one. I prefer it. I prefer it. This is the first one where the permutations of the alliances, the agreements is constantly shifting. The game is afoot. The game is afoot.

I think we can say right now that the game is afoot. Absolutely. Oh, my God. Is this going to be a murder on the Orient Express? Only good? Yes. Absolutely. The title of that murder on this Orient Express.

Okay. Oh, that was the murder on the Borient Express. Borient? Wow. Because it was a bore. Oh, I got it. And there it is. And there's the bit.

There's the pun. And there's the pun. And you took it to a Flintstone place. This Flintstone multivitamin bit. It's the pun. And there's the pun. And you took it to a Flintstone place. This Flintstone multivitamin bitch. It's a living. Wow. It's a living. Can I tell you something about therapists?

And I did share this on stage. I am scared. I don't know what kind of therapist I would want because if it's a man and he's gay, I would think I would want that because I want them to understand like, you know, maybe some hangups I have in certain ways, but I would sexualize my therapist. But what if he was old? I don't know. Then that's ageist. That makes you an ageist. See, but

stop getting in my head. I have to unpack therapy. You have to unpack it. I can't win in this town. Are you afraid, Matt, are you afraid of changing as a person? I've been afraid of changing. Yes, very much so. I'm very scared of change, actually. Are you my person? I've been afraid of changing. Yes, very much so. I'm very scared of change, actually. Are you my therapist? I could be.

50 bucks. 50. For an hour. He'd tell you. Wait, are you, Naomi, are you doing couples and individual? I have to find a new person since we moved to LA, because I was Skyping. We actually, we Skype with our couples therapist who's still in New York

because he's just that good. We couldn't give him up. He is that good. And Andy, are you trying to have the same setup where it's couples and individual? I got to find a new, my therapist here in New York,

you know, when we moved to LA, I was like, thank you, we're done. And she's great. She was great. But I need someone now

who's going to like push me a little more. Yeah. Like that was, she listened. She was like like are you sure you wanna do you wanna change your relationship with your parents or you wanna just let it be this icy

detente until they icy detente coming to the stage icy detente that was a Bowen move can we have a suggestion where icy detente no honey a drag queen Andrew okay when I said you could come do this podcast with me, I told you to read up and watch several episodes.

What a great game. Have you guys ever done this game? Improv team name or drag queen name? That's really good, actually. That's very good. In your face, my love. In your face, my love. That might be the title of that.

In your face, my love. In your face, my love. And that's the phrase that we use. Yes, and I love it is being written down as we speak. I think Emma is writing it down. Emma is on the notes. We have a hot producer, Emma. Yes, HPE.

HPE. And of course, HPA is sitting over there in the corner. He said he's going to stay for the first 20 minutes. Sorry, bitch. Sorry we couldn't be more entertaining for you. He needed to be compelled you he needed to be compelled he needed to be compelled walking out of callback no don't look he's he looks sad like he's watching succession on his phone every now everyone is really raw tonight in this room oh we're delicate

tonight yes we are we are yeah and that's okay and this is what therapy is about it's about coming and being real with your rawness because honestly, right, I love what was really great about your set and we don't have to keep harping on it, but it is the real, the 10-year history and what we're constantly telling comics when we ask them to come is like, if you're a comic, right, and so you have the ear for what's funny

or when to stop or when to move on, that's fine. But if you have two people with a shared history, you don't have to, the humor is going to come, right? Like if you're just like honest with it and you guys bring so much to the table, especially,

you know, obviously you're so comfortable working together, but then it's just, I didn't know you guys went until you said, I didn't know you guys went back to NYU days. Oh yeah. I did not know that at all. So I was like,

Oh my God, a decade. We've been, we've been friends for a decade. You guys were sumptuous. You were a 12-course meal of comedy and emotions. Ooh, wow.

We could have kept going too, honey. That was a surface. There was plenty more. I know. And I was also like, just let them go, but then we were like, oh, but we have to go,

but it was like, I need to know more. It was the perfect length of show. It was truly... 90 minutes max. Maxim truly. 90 minutes max. Maximum. 90 minutes max. I totally agree with you.

Well, I don't think 20 often goes two hours. But that's a special little. It's a special event and you're getting so many people. Yes. Right? But this, like anything, no one is that funny for that long. Yes. Nothing is.

Nothing is. Nothing is. I totally agree. But I mean, you're getting so many An Adam Sandler film? Sorry, we forgot. Why do I have to throw shade at Adam Sandler? I like Happy Gilmore. We love Adam.

What's the other one? Your dear friend Adam. There's no reason to. That's like using Carrot Top as a punchline. Who are the icons of comedy? I guess that did movie after movie. There was obviously Adam Sandler. I guess you could say Ben Stiller. Will Ferrell.

Will Ferrell. He was a little after them, but yes. And then there was another one. Not one woman. Terrible. Who did movie after movie? Terrible. I guess now we have schumer well now we have melissa mccarthy melissa mccarthy she's got a lot of oscar buzz for what like you ever forgive me oh she is in a biopic that's coming out apparently it's a drop it's a dramatic

turn from her they're saying even in a crowded field this year, that Melissa McCarthy is a shoo-in for Best Actress nomination. Wow. Alongside our favorite. Al Gaga. Ms. Gaga. No, wait. The biopic, who's she portraying? Lee.

Oh, yeah. Ayakoka. Not exactly. Yes, a woman. She would do forgeries. She would do forgeries. She was a forgerer. Oh, yes, I've heard of this.

And you know Brandon Scott Jones is in that movie. What? Right. What? He is. He has a scene with her. Oh, my God. He's in the trailer as well.

Yes, yes. Oh, we saw the trailer for this. It looks great. And I remember hearing about the film because she had Oscar buzz for it. And then when I saw the trailer, I was like, oh, my God, there's BSJ. Oh, my God. Is that when he's hanging out with Rebel Wilson? No, he's hanging out with Rebel Wilson because he shot a movie with her

that I'm in where I play his boyfriend. You're in that picture? Only at the very end. And he sent me, he texted me a photo of our scene and I look disgusting. No. I look so bad.

And see, this is what's crazy and this is why I need therapy is because Bowen has now centered the conversation around himself and I was trying to celebrate a friend you know what I mean like that's really so toxic you are making fun of me now I'm not making fun I'm saying

my truth and this is therapy oh my god now look at Naomi and Andy they're just like what do we do talk about the film Andy's ready cause he's a fucking judge with a gavel. He's like, I'll tell you who's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Come on. No, no. I was feeling like whenever I see myself in something, I'm like, oh, I'm gross. Yes. That's just how I am. Because, you know, we all have to. Everyone has. It's very common.

Everyone has that thing where it's like, you can't hear your voice or you can't i have a very intense process in the morning of like looking myself in the mirror being like you can go out there into the world oh god oh he takes longer to get ready than i do and i think it's really it's the mental game yeah yeah oh i think it's yeah because i'm always like what are you doing in there and once you explained to me it was a mental psyching yourself up i said go ahead honestly, that's so much work though, Andy. You just let that go. That's what is so much easier said than done. That was the big thing in my therapy in the first five years of therapy.

Letting go? Yeah, what does that mean? Because it's a metaphor. It's a physical metaphor. But what does that mean mentally or emotionally? Mentally, this is what it means. It means a thought crosses your mind. And it's not about not feeling.

It's not about just rejecting it so needrically. But it's just about acknowledging it, holding it, letting it take up space, and then just letting it back out. Right. But what is that? What is the process? If there was a physical – if it was like defecating and I could understand – Andrew! Sure.

I'm not – I know – I used a technical term. I'm oversimplifying it a little bit, but in my practice, it's just been like, oh, I can just for a little bit longer not think about it until I have to think about it again. And inevitably, you will think about whatever the thing is again. But how do you excrete that feeling? It's not about excreting. It's not about excreting it's not about it's not about expelling it's just about just just taking it letting it back letting it back out into the wild and then

it will come back at some point and then you'll do the same thing well this is why therapy that is the part of therapy that makes me crazy because I kept feeling like I am giving you money to fix me and you are not fixing me I don't feel fixed shit this is a copay

you're not paying us, by the way. No, and that's why that part's great, right? The beauty of a podcast. You're just here for the circular. The reason why I've never really... But I want to be fixed. Yes. The reason why I've never really sat down and actually went, and now I think that is

going to change. I feel like I must go, is because I've always been pretty good at knowing why I feel the way I feel, or at least that's what I've always told myself. And I've always been pretty good at bouncing back. Even now, this is not a good time for me. I get weird seasonal depression in August and September. I don't know why. Going back to school feeling.

Maybe that. It's like in your brain from a young age. It could be that. But because I know that this is what happens to me now, I'm like, well, it's what happens to me now. I'll get better. But I'd rather not feel that every year. Right, for two months at a time.

Right, right. I mean, well, what you were saying, though, about comments, for instance, since we've started podcasting, I can't read the comments. I've never read the comments. But we got one, and I've actually gotten a little bit better at it. started podcasting you know i can't read the comments i've never read the comments but i've got we got one and i've actually gotten a little bit better at it and this is where i'm like well maybe i'm slightly more fixed than i thought i was right because in the day-to-day doesn't feel right but we got a comment where it was like literally the person said my new goal in life

is to never hear these hosts voices again it's so weird they get so creative with their negative but they're they're not But then it's like a stupid hack thing. But it's also like, you know, I guess what it is, the comment is, there are plenty of things I don't like. Many people are dead to me. Most people are garbage. But I have

never felt compelled to say that, to go on a public forum and create an account to post a nasty comment. And so I think that's what I was like, wow, the level of hatred you must feel. That's what is shocking to me, right? That's what shakes me to my core.

Right. So then how are you more fixed then? Oh, because you don't have to do that. Well, because now, so now I was like, okay, that is one human. That person's not well. Yeah. As opposed to being like, is there a way to surgically change my voice? Right. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just wanted to check. But this is, okay, but Naomi's talking about- I want SNL to hear it for next year. Oh my God. Naomi's touching on something that I have found very useful is the quickest way

to like not care is to take pity. Yes. And you're just like, this person who left that I hate you comment like couldn't spell worth a damn.

They couldn't spell the word excellent. Here's what I did. I went and looked at two dope queens and I was like, okay, here's like one of the most word excellent. Here's what I did. I went and looked at two dope queens and I was like, okay, here's one of the most popular podcasts. Let's look at their comments.

And it was similarly filled with hatred. And I was like, oh, okay. Hatred born of itself, like not in reference to anything in particular. Right, just monsters. Just monsters full of poison who need to get the poison out otherwise they'll just like die in their parents' basement.

Whatever it is. Yeah, it's not always. It's not always just like. It's like someone in a basement. It's like, no, they could be like a very, you know, functioning, successful person living above ground. Right. Who just has hate in their heart. Who's just, yeah.

Who's just like a scorpion that's backed up. And it's just, and it's, and when I say take pity, it's different from like trying to like, oh. Right. You don't like make them bad. Totally. Oh, like you must have a lot happening that this is, or not enough happening. Not enough happening. This is the cross to bear that I'm your problem.

Totally. Honey, if I'm your biggest problem, bless. Can I say one thing, though? I do think there are trolls for us. Oh, really? I don't want to go into the whole thing, but there are... I believe that there are...

I hear you. I believe that there are trolls specifically... Yeah, who are happy with us. Who are trolling you in what way? Because of it being an interracial relationship? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that what you're saying? Listen...

We don't have to get into it. Let's just say there are trolls that are specifically targeting us. Got it. There are people who might not like us, and that's fine. But there's a subset that are specifically targeting us. Where it's like, oh, that's this,

and we can feel that it's this. Yeah, those of you who came before, you're like, okay, well, cool. Yeah, but you're not trying to dunk on them or anything. You're just like, oh's you're not trying to like dunk on them or anything you're just like oh you're this collective you're just a rat king of disgusting a rat king of disgusting thought that's why I'm so proud of Bowen he has that he had that just in him he said he could describe a gross person as a rat no a group of people Wow a group of people a gross person as a rat king? No, a group of people.

Wow. A group of people are this like- Even better. A rat king of disgusting thought. I mean, it's artistry. It's eloquence. It's poetry. It's beautiful art. Psychically tethered.

Their psychic tethers are all tied together. Wow. There you go. Okay, we're going to make this beautiful right now. We don't wear costumes, we wear fashion. And below deck sailing. You broke the rules and now you're here getting upset. Watch all new seasons on Bravo or stream it on City TV+. Let's have a real good time. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski.

Guess what, folks? We're teammates again. And we're going to welcome you guys all to Dudes on Dudes. I'm a dude, you're a dude, and Dudes dudes on dudes is our brand new show we're gonna highlight players peers guys that we played against legends from the past and we're just gonna sit here and talk about them and we'll get into the types of dudes what kind of types of dudes are there we got studs wizards we got freaks or dudes dude we got dogs dog we'll break down their games, we'll share some insider stories, and determine what kind of dude each of these dudes are. Is Randy Moss

a stud or a freak? Is Tom Brady a dog or a dude's dude? We're gonna find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hey, I'm Jay Shetty, and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. We talk about guilt, shame, body image, and huge life transformations. I was a desperate, delusional dreamer, and the desperate part got me in a lot of trouble.

I encourage delusional dreamers. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate, delusional dreamer. I just had such an anger. I was just so mad at life. Everything that wasn't right was everybody's fault, but mine, I had such a victim mentality. I took zero accountability for anything in my life.

I was the kid that if you asked what happened, I immediately started with everything but me. It took years for me to break that, like years of work. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, a five-year-old boy floated alone in the ocean. He had lost his mother trying to reach Florida from Cuba. He looked like a little angel. I mean, he looked so fresh.

And his name, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere. Elian Gonzalez. Elian Gonzalez. Elian. Elian. Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere. Elian Gonzalez. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian Gonzalez. At the heart of the story is a young boy and the question of who he belongs with.

His father in Cuba. Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. At the heart of it all is still this painful family separation. Something that as a Cuban, I know all too well. Listen to Chess Piece, the Elian Gonzalez story, as part of the My Cultura podcast network,

available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What is the most beautiful thing about Andy? Oh, my God. I would say the most beautiful thing about Andy is his optimism and work ethic. Yeah. Combined. You are someone who keeps at it. I am someone who literally is like, take me now.

Literally the tiniest, tiniest failure take me now i can't be bothered yes and i don't and i don't think it is like this like white male cockiness give it to me it's a true like i enjoy this work yes and that joy means good it will bear fruit. And that will see you through for the rest of time. That's beautiful. Andy is, Andy Beckerman is one of the hardest working people. Yes. Wow.

Sleigh bitch. Sleigh bitch. Sleigh bitch. Yes, it's true. Now you must say the most beautiful thing about Naomi. Yes. I will.

I'm legit speechless. So thank you. That's very nice of all of you. He like, he's for the listener. He is like covering himself with a hoodie because he's very nice of all of you. For the listener, he is covering himself with a hoodie because he feels very voln. He feels voln. Oh, totally. Well, this is couples therapy, so

open up. Voln to the max. There's a lot about Naomi. I'm trying to pick one specific thing to say. I get emotional. I'm gonna cry. The thing that I always say is Naomi's freedom with her emotions. And that's the thing I most admire about her.

And so I think it is the most beautiful thing that you are... Even when I lay in bed all day because I'm depressed? That's too free. That's freedom. That's too free. I feel for you in those moments.

But I just mean your ability to, as someone who was repressed for most of his life, to have, it is a joy to have you in my life. Aww. As a, I mean, as for you in your entire three-dimensionality, but also as this person who is almost like, you know, leading me through the Hades of emotions. Leading me through the nine levels.

Another poetic moment. Another poetic. A truly poetic moment. You guys, I totally. Poor Gina. Poor Gina. Truly.

Poor Gina. That was a beautiful moment to witness. You guys. I'm so happy I asked that question. Will you officiate? Will you both officiate? You've really drawn out. And then Bowen will tell me afterwards that I talk too much.

What if we had Naomi a string of officiants that would each do a different part of the ceremony? That would be good because it would be the different parts of us. That's great. We really want to do... I don't want it to be like fucking quirky. I'm not coming at you with a Deschanel moment. But I do want to

know like little mandolins yes like okay no you're not you are not a new girl you are an old girl hello i'm an old girl that's my show oh that's me living with three men being like get out my house but all i want like i do want a wedding that is very reflective of our personalities and not the cookie cutter. Fun. But what I found as, you know, we looked at venues, the more personal stuff is even when it looks DIY, it's actually more expensive than if you just went to a hotel. Because those places, they do weddings for a living. They got a fucking whole setup. You just pick.

It's like you want the plates to be buff, taupe, or beige. You know what I mean? Like they have a whole fucking family. You pick the thing. Yeah, that shit that feels custom is custom, and you pay for that. Exactly. There was a place in Long Island that we looked at

that was actually pretty affordable. Where? Where on Long Island? It's called Fox Hollow, so I don't... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I forget where it was. We're not going to say anything bad about that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it was nice. It was affordable, and there was great... Part of the package was, like, people coming in got some food, like, when you were coming to the ceremony. Oh, yeah. So it was nice. It was affordable. And there was like, part of the package was like people coming in got some food like when you were coming to the ceremony. So if you were hungry, you could get through the ceremony. At the end, you got warm pretzels as you were leaving. So cute.

All these different things. But it was just very like cookie cutter. Like we couldn't do much in between. Like I'm all for like feeding people all the time. But they were like, during the receiving line, we'll do this. And I was like, we we're not doing a receiving. We don't want a receiving line. We don't want a first dance.

We don't want like a daddy daughter dance or whatever it is. But they call it the daddy daughter dance. And I was like, but they like, that's the package, right? Like you get that thing. And it was like,

and I was like, Oh, I want to do something a little different. But then I was like, okay, you want to go like buy chairs and rent caterers and every little bit and piece? And it's been definitely a thing that we're

like, we've been engaged five years. And that is definitely part of it. Yes, and it's completely understandable. Yeah, you want it to be the culmination of the long engagement. No, but I'm saying that the wedding, just planning it is truly crazy.

But unnecessary. Yes. But there's no way around it because literally you call a venue and the moment you say wedding, it's this, this, and this. You say party,

it's another thing. But if you show up there, the moment they see you in a dress, oh, dang, I'll start tacking on them feet. There's no way to really make that lie last.

It's an industry and it's going to be an industry wherever you go. Yeah. So it was just like, okay. Until the end of time. Maybe we should ask

our agents to call and see if they can negotiate on our behalf. Please. Then they'll have to, they'll get 10% of everyone's gifts. Absolutely not.

I mean, I know people who have had their manager like organize their bachelorette parties. Really? Absolutely. I would never.

I could never. I mean, neither would I, but like it happens. It can be done, right. I've been to, I would say, I've been to many weddings, but the thing is like,

there was one that I think was like so perfect. And it was my cousin Jesse's wedding. It was outside and it was like not religious and it was like, she walked down the aisle to somewhere over the rainbow, but the Hawaiian version. It was so beautiful. And I think some people might think that's like basic, but it was gorge.

It was so gorge and like she looked so good. And like, it was like just great. I got to walk my grandmother down the aisle. Like it was just so, it was so good. And then like, honestly, what I love is you have the wedding and then like, it's like a hundred yards away is the party space. Yes. It's not, it's not multi-purpose.

Yes. But it's not far. Like it's on site. Yes. Well, I mean, I want it to be a one-stop shop. Definitely. You must. And just like, I also want it to be that type of wedding.

I don't want a wedding where I don't know half the people there. No, no, no. It's like like can you please just like well that was the problem we're not gonna go into that because that's what our own podcast is for us going into the parental but you don't bring it to flintstones it was like yabba dabba doo oh bits bits alwaysits. Bits. Always the bits. Disgusting with these bits. Disgusting. But no, I mean, you guys, you know you have a magical friendship dynamic for the ages.

It's a fun dynamic. I tweeted today in light of all this Bert and Ernie news, Matt and I are both Bert and Ernie and Statler and Moldorf. That is true. That we contain multitudes. That is true. Wait, what happened with Bert and Ernie? Oh, the creator of, the person who conceived of them has said in an interview recently

that he only thought of them as being a couple. Oh, okay. And as a gay man, he was like, yeah, I wrote them as a couple. But then. But then Sesame Workshop, like the larger institution behind Sesame Street, put out a statement and said, no, as we've always said, they are best friends. They are not gay. While they do identify as male and share

many qualities with human beings, they remain puppets and do not possess sexual orientation. Which is crazy because every puppet has so, every puppet on that show has characteristics. One of them is autistic. We just talked about this on the last episode.

But it's just crazy to pretend. Project all these certain identity politics. And then not this one. Yeah, it's crazy. It just feels very antiquated to me. Brimming with eros and orgone and all that kind of energy. Again, with the Greek poetry. I mean, all the time.

Here's a question, though. Now, personally, the idea of representation in children's cartoons or in children's programming is appealing. But on the other hand, I don't like when adults go back and retcon sexuality into children's things. We were talking about J.K. Rowling in the last episode. Yeah. How she's kind of doing that a little bit. I mean, if it's there. Well, with J.K. Rowling in the last episode. Yeah. How she's kind of doing that a little bit. I mean, if it's there, well, with J.K. Rowling,

like, she should have just written it in there. Like, that's her own cowardice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One might say that she did. Right. Yeah. You could go and...

But there's nothing, like, literally, you cannot sexual... There's nothing I hate more than when someone says their child, their toddler, their baby is

flirting or is a lady killer. Like anything for a baby or a toddler. You're like, what? Don't say that because what you're doing is you're attaching sexuality to my kid. Exactly. Or even parents do it to their own kids.

And it's just like, can you not do that? You know, but the same person who does that will then have a problem with a with a puppet being possibly gay. Oh, 100 percent. It's like you already told me your baby be fucking. It's like, how are you going to put that out there? And it gives a kid a complex. A little bit.

I mean, of course it does i can say that it does because it's like it attaches the fact that your looks are something that you should always be conscious of yes because that's what they always say like kelly clarkson was recently quoted in an interview as saying like i never tell my daughter you look beautiful you look beautiful you look beautiful i say you're so smart you're so you're so funny you're so this because it's important to instill you know i'm sure there's like this is like new wave parenting like lots of parents raising kids now know this but it's like this is the first time i was woken up to it but growing up you know handsome like of course like it's cute attract you know that it gets attached to you at such an early age.

And when you're forming, you look in the mirror and then you become conscious of that as one of the things that you're good at. Right. And then I think it happens with women a ton. Well, I was going to say, definitely your value system. I don't know about you. I mean, Andrew, I have seen photos. You were a darling boy. Still is.

Still is. Stop. But no, when you were younger like for instance I was not like I was not cute or pretty not true that was not the way

untrue I've seen pictures but that's not how I was talked about right you know like I had like you know my cousin's like

oh she's cute she's pretty she's this that was never the way I was characterized so even you know now as an adult it's not where I kind of

put my stock or it was also not just not where I put my stock but I just assumed the opposite was true, right? If no one was saying it. Which is exactly what I'm saying, which is it gives kids a complex either way. And there's nothing you can really do

about it because people are still going to be who they are and that's something you say when you, and you're trying to be nice. But it's just that thing. It's just like, no matter what, you're going to be fucked up somehow. Stimuli, you're going to respond to it somehow. I'm just saying that, yeah, it's when you say that to someone and they're a child. I have a childlike understanding of these things.

Right. It's a symptom of a sick culture that's going down the tubes. And you know what? Some babies be fucking. Some babies be fucking. I was fucking from a young toddler age. Sure. Who was it?

Not people, but things. Yeah. Who didn't put their- Consent was not a concept. Who didn't put their wiener into- I rubbed it on so many strange things. I used to fuck the shit out of my pillows, and that's a fact. Yeah.

Pillows are great. I used to put- I had a relationship with one of my pillows for three years. Longer than I was with Henry. Wait, Andy has a question. It's like constructs or Legos, but they were like these tubes. What are those mugs that get pushed down with accordion? It's made of plastic. Collapsible?

Collapsible. These little collapsible things You can put your penis in them if you were a kid You said you could put your penis in them if you were a kid and one of the things on the box It was like but it was like batteries not included you can fuck this It was teaching you how to use a condom almost, but it was like a construction thing. Not really, but I'm saying,

well, an adult penis wouldn't fit in them. No, too big. Oh my God. Have you ever seen an adult penis, Naomi? Yep. They're huge. You're just, you're just, are you asking this rhetorically?

He's telling you an example of a toy that you could as a young toddler child. Or that I did. Or that he did. I didn't want to put you on blast. I wanted that to be your story to tell. We're very open on this podcast. We say what we fucked. But I wouldn't say that I fucked it.

I would say that it was just a, I was exploring. It depends on what is, is, as Bill Clinton would say. Great question. Is, is. Oh, God. What it was, was. What it is, is. Oh. Utterly meaningless. Truly. Truly meaningless. That was like

national news. Slick Willie. Oh, God. Slick Willie indeed. Oh, my God. Okay, I think we're gonna adapt the question that we always ask on this podcast, but to both of you as a collective unit. And then I think we might- This is Bowen saying he's done with the conversation about fucking inanimate objects. And honestly, I respect it. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Slay, bitch. Now- Continue to slay. Okay, so I want to ask, what was the culture that made both of you say culture is for me? But this is to ask- Oh, wow that you guys experienced culturally together early on? Or even like later on or recently that sort of set things off in a new direction?

Does that make sense? What was the culture that you said culture was for us as a couple? As like, was there a movie that you guys saw together? Right, right, right. It was Loving getting the nomination for the Academy Award. That's not true. What? What is this?

I love bits. Loving. The movie Loving. The movie Loving about the interracial couple in the South. He is doing a bit. Well, sometimes the bits are close to real and it's very hard to tell. And sometimes the bits are close to real and it's very hard to tell and sometimes the bits have ambiguous syntax because you said it was loving as in the verb loving and right title no of course

no it is it is ignore him i live in a world of ambiguity guys wow we know this gorgeous we know this what i think is important for us to come on here as a couple is to let the listeners know anything is possible and you never know where you'll find love and connection. Yes. You know, the most unlikely places. One time Andy and I were on the street earlier and we kissed and this old black lady looked at us and she goes, that's beautiful. You never know where

you'll find love. She's an icon. We need to track her down. And I was like, you know what? Do you guys have a hotline tell her to call in yes i wish we did and she'll be like i remember seeing them i talked about it for days she was like you never know i was like thank you i love that and i was like oh my god andy we are a post-racial america that was back when people thought that was a thing right of course

about 2009 uh but when culture was for us, I mean, there were definitely things. For instance, the moment we got together where I was like, oh, we have more in common than we think. The first time I went to his house, I saw that he had the entire series of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel on DVD. Wow. And I was like, you and I could be friends. I loved Buffy. Yeah. I was like so, you and I can be friends. I loved Buffy. I was like so into it. I never finished Angel. So literally the first thing I did when I got to his house

at the end, I was like, can I borrow your DVD? Which you know is like, I'm gonna see you again. Yeah. You did it. You pointed to the scene. And Andy knew. Exactly. And so that was definitely the beginning, like a cultural touchstone of like, oh, we share this interest from our past. From my point of view, from being the weirdo in the relationship,

it was Strangers with Candy. It was the fact that we both like Strangers with Candy and that we both bonded over loving Amy Sedaris. That's true. That was definitely one that we were like, okay. That is so a thing. These are both solid. When you're talking to someone new, it's so exciting to find out

that you have like, whether it's like something from your past or a strong interest together, because it truly, it gives you something just to talk about. Yes. Definitely. And especially I think something, I think you're right with Strangers with Candy, because not only was it a long time ago, like 99, but I remember like not a lot of people watched it. It honestly probably wasn't until I got into comedy that I started to meet people who watched that show. Agreed. It wasn't until college for me that that I started to meet people who watch that show. Agreed. It wasn't until college for me that people would be like, oh, my God.

Like, they'd be like, I stole the TV. And I'd be like, what's that from? And then they'd be like, Strangers with Candy. And I was like, oh, my God. I think Jenny Jaffe was the person that brought that to my attention. Henry Melcher was the first person. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway. Pizza, pizza, pizza.

Pizza, pizza, pizza. Pizza, pizza, pizza. Such a wacky genius. Oh, my God. Brills. Brills, brills, brills. And so that was definitely itills those are great answers and it's interesting that it's sort of refracted

from either person that it's like oh I thought it was Buffy I thought it was strangers with candy but there's also it like melds into each other like it flows into in the way that like I'm like yes I see what I get it and yes it was for me too especially like the Buffy musical which Naomi was in

in college I was a stage version like the Buffy musical, which Naomi was in in college. I was in a stage version of the Buffy musical. Oh my God. Oh, that's amazing. Oh my God. I have a feeling. Does that know what you feel? It was very like that.

It was like doing like that. You're giving me like characterized, beautiful vibrato. Yes. With character, with emotion. Lady Day. Contours. Lady Day. like characterized beautiful. Yes. With character, with emotion, lady day contours, lady day. Um,

that episode I watched, watched recently. Um, I under, in like a very intimate setting with someone else. Cause he was like, cause I, I'm starting to get into,

I'm trying to get into Buffy. Starting to get into something. It sounds like. And then, and he, and he fucking loves it. And I was like, yeah,

we all start watching with you. And then we were both just very wine drunk. And then he, but he put on the musical episode. He's like, you're going to love this. And it was like and then and he fucking loves it and I was like yeah I'll start watching it with you and then we were both just very wine drunk but he put on the musical episode he's like you're gonna love this and I was like yeah great and then like

halfway through I was like wow I can't believe Joss Whedon wrote all the music and I just fell asleep and I passed out I also think you cannot watch

the musical episode in isolation it really does lead up sure you know especially I mean cause that's what Joss is into honey he's into taking on a narrative journey but what is it not watch the musical episode in isolation. Yeah. It really does lead up. Sure, sure, sure. You know, especially, I mean, because that's what Joss is into,

honey. He's into taking on a narrative journey. But is it, what is it, like season four or five? Six. Six? So exactly.

You came in on late where you're like, who are they and why? I got to tear through a hundred episodes. It's that episode they always talk about, the silent episode.

Yeah. And then, and Hush, and then The Body, which is the one where Sarah Michelle Gellar is dead. That's season 5. Oh her mother.

Which I just read like a whole piece on that episode the other day about how it was like one of the most critically acclaimed episodes of television of that era. The 90s I guess. God the 90s was a great time for television. And I guess that's why they keep trying to make it happen again. I know. That's the part. It's like sad

though. It's so sad. These reboots are hurting my heart. I'm not into it at all. I know. I know. It's like two. But I'm also like, if you go reboot, reboot some of my black 90s shows. Yeah.

Where's the reboot of Amen? Where's my reboot? Where's Family Matters? Family Matters, Living Single? If they did. If Moesha came back, that would be the slay of the year. Oh my god, who would be the new Moesha? Brandy. Oh, so Brandy is doing it again.

Brandy now. Okay. I can see that. She's looking great. You can never do like a fresh prince reboot without Will. What was I going to call it? What was their last name? What about with Migos? The Banks. What if you had it with Migos?

So it's three and they play brothers. Three comedic titans. And one guy in Migos is always getting tossed out the doorway like Jazzy Jeff. That's bad. Hey, do you think the ad-lib guy gets paid as much as

a dancer in a ska band? Back then? The ad-lib guy in M a dancer in a ska band? Back then? No, the ad-lib guy in Migos or in a rap band. Who do you think gets paid more? Oh, ad-lib. I was like, who are you talking about? The dancer in a ska band or an ad-lib guy in a rap group?

I'm going to say Migos. They're like swimming in jewels. Honestly, and I think the guy in a ska band who just like, pick it up. Isn't that what they say? And he just like dances or just stomps around. I feel like he's always like a friend who came on the tour. Do you know what I mean? Like he's just there for a hot bed and a hot meal.

He's not getting any kind of payment. Do you know what I'm remembering now I loved? Hanging out with Mr. Cooper. Oh, yes. Oh my God, yes. Because I was a TGIF fan. Oh, of course. Do you have a blind spot for that because not having cable? But that was regular. Yeah, 7C. Oh, cool, cool. Yeah, Oh, yes. Oh my God, yes. Because I was a TGIF fan. Yes. Oh, of course. Do you have a blind spot for that

because not having cable? But that was regular. Yeah, 27. Yeah, 27. Oh, cool, cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was like Boy Meets World. Yes.

Step by step. Step by step. The Clueless TV show. The Clueless TV show was great. You are younger than me. Yes, the Clueless TV show. That was past. I was, honey,

I was coming up on a perfect Strangers. Oh. Family Matters. Okay. Step by step. I loved Family Matters. I think even at one point was Family Ties in there? I don't remember. I think that was on another network. That was NBC. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was NBC in the 80s. Yes. That was

like, oh no, all of those. I don't watch all of those stuff. Naomi, in your act you reference um, Ryder Strong and Angela, I forget her. Yes. Yes. As, as like a early interracial couple that Angela, I forget her. Yes. As like a early interracial couple that you saw in pop culture. Yep. The 90s, honestly, was ahead of its time. Do you think that that actually put that in your mind as a possibility?

That and going to school with white boys. It was a combination of both. Because obviously I was surrounded by these whites. Yes. And these boys weren't checking for me. Yeah. And then I got to watch this TV show where it was happening. combination of both because obviously i was surrounded by these whites yes um and these boys weren't checking for me yeah and then i got to watch this tv show where it was happening and she had like natural hair i feel like she had eyes or something you know me and i feel like she was also visibly 37 uh like and they all were old they were all older but i was like oh you're like

i feel like they were maybe 23 and she might have been 30 but it was like I could just tell not that she was old but like I was like you're like a mature put together yeah she's a woman and I was like very into it

did they address that on the show or was it kind of just like see that's the thing I don't think I ever really remember them doing like a special

episode of I'm Black You're White right right right right which is that like is that like magical a little too magical a little bit? To pretend that they've never had that conversation,

I think is like bizarre. Yeah. And there was something, there was a movie that came out a few years ago, and it had Kerry Washington and Patrick Wilson. And it was, they had been married for like four or five years. And the reason why I couldn't get into the movie is because they had a neighbor,

they were like a married couple in suburbia is because they had a neighbor. They were like a married couple in suburbia and they had a neighbor who like took issue with the fact that they were interracial. And then the movie was pretending

like it was the first time they had had the conversation. And I'm like, that's insane. Right, right. That was the first time they had noticed pushback. Right.

And it was like, you know, it was like a, it was a playwright who had written the movie and the scenes were very kind of stagey. And I was like, yeah, maybe as a play where like, you know, it was like a, it was a playwright who had written the movie and the scenes were very kind of stagey. And I was like, yeah, maybe as a play where like your sense of your disbelief is suspended because it's like, you want to watch these scenes play out.

But like cinematically, it didn't work. Also like, honey, we saw Crash. You know what I mean? Like I'm not even willing to see these scenes play out. Right. You know? Crash. That's like, we dealt with that stuff early on.

Well, my favorite though, I now find a silver lining. Oh. Okay? Because I noticed black men only, like, give side eye or say something under their breath, like if me and Andrew are walking. Sure. If I'm looking good. Okay?

Whoa. If I'm looking good, they got a problem. When my ass is regular, they, like, take her. You know what I mean? God. And so now I'm like, oh, if he mad, that means my face is beat that's my silver barometer oh my god yeah oh if they're mad that must mean i'm looking good today exactly you must be wanting this rule of culture number 17 if they're mad you're beat

that's whenever i step out of the house yes and people are angry at me I'm like I must look stunning I must be a slay right now I must be the 10 out of 10 beauty absolutely was there wait is this is this a fair question to ask in reverse with Andy like was there

no like was right I mean like was there like any sort of like mental model for you and in that same way or no yeah like no because i was brought up like my parents never they they when i was younger they're like here's some words that you don't say because they hurt people's feelings yeah and then here's like bad words that you don't say in front of the rabbi like fuck or whatever right and so i never i i in fact naomi's had to be like it's okay bad words that you don't say in front of the rabbi, like fuck or whatever. Right. And so I never, I,

I, in fact, Naomi's had to be like, it's okay to acknowledge that there are differences between, like, between like black people. There are like cultures, cultural differences.

And it's been, it's really like, cause in my mind, every, everyone is the same. Sure. And it's real. I don't mean that in a,

like a, like I'm colorblind. I don't see it. But like my parents raised me in a way, like treat everyone the same. Sure. And it's real. I don't mean that in a like, I'm colorblind. No, totally. But like my parents raised me in a way like, treat everyone the same. Yeah. And there are no differences. Right, right.

Even though that's blatantly false. Yeah, that thing of growing up and it's like, we don't see color. That you can't, that's not a good sentence. Well, it wasn't that. It wasn't that.

Right. The intention is good though. The intention is good. Yes, but like, when you kind of get into right the intention is good though the intention is good yes but like when you kind of get into like below the surface of the sentence right you're like oh i think i've been denying your personhood yes that's exactly what i mean and it's interesting because like you do see that generation like my parents generation for example where it's like you know like when i came out as gay like the people will be like you know everyone's the same to me.

And they say all these things that I have gay friends, I have black friends, I have this. And it's all these things that they truly think are helpful. And it's just like, wow, that's antiquated. You know what I mean? It's also not acknowledging my gayness. Right. Totally.

That's what it is. Like, okay, you're like, it's all the same. Well, no, it's not actually. No. And you're lumping it in with everything else. It's a different community. It's a different experience. But you're trying to buy, like, you're trying to help me by saying i'm just like everyone

else yeah but here's the thing though the problem with it is that like whatever is the the locus of culture for a group is it's not monolithic blackness isn't monolithic gayness isn't monolithic so there are some things like some things that you could call gay culture. But that doesn't mean every gay man does those things. That's crazy that he's making

this a bit. All gay men are the same. Stop with the bits. You're making it a bit. Stop with the bits. The Flintstones bullshit. That's a living. That's where the. That's. Oh, God. But like, that's where it gets. That's where the stuff is tricky because you want to acknowledge that there are differences between groups.

But once you go to that second level, then you have to acknowledge that there are differences between individuals. And just because there, you know, as a group, there may be a tendency for gay men to like RuPaul's Drag Race, whatever it is, right? I was thinking of when we were at a friend's house and I was the only like het ma. Het ma. Hetero male. Hetero male.

Het ma. Cis het ma. Cis het ma. Cis het ma. And we played Quiplash and I bombed. Oh, you told me this last night. Yeah. And there were a lot of the punchlines had to do with Miss Vanjie.

And I was just like... Oh yeah, you did not know. And then I was like, okay, this is what we're doing. And then I was like, okay, then I'm just going to give you all those references. And I'm going to double down on my piss jokes. And it was just like, not happy. We recently played... You weren't there, but when I was last out in LA,

I played Quiplash with the LA gays. And you just had to like It's true When you're with A group of people You have to like Figure out what they want Yeah exactly

And that's how you score points In Quiplash And like What do they want Like a fucking Joan Collins Probably something like that Yeah

Reference Like A Tuesday Weld Reference or something Oh my god I don't even know Tuesday Weld. She's, yeah.

But that's what like, Bowen, I count you as like a weirdo. Like I felt something when I, when I saw you perform first, do you remember that show we were on? Yeah, what was it?

Max, Max Bernstein show? It was Max, oh yeah. And I fucking, I did not know what the hell I was doing at the time. But it, it really,

it spoke to my heart and I, I was just being, I was doing weird stuff. Was that when, when I was doing Alexander Wang or no? Yes really, it spoke to my heart. And I... I was just being, I was doing weird stuff. Was that when I was doing Alexander Wang or no? Yes. Yeah, that was the first time I ever did my Alexander Wang impression. It was really funny.

And it spoke to my heart. And I'm like, oh, you're a weirdo. It felt good in my heart. And so... There was a good feeling between the two of us. So my question is like, well, that is like, you know, like, or you or like cole or there's like people who are weirdos and i i don't know if it like fits in like whatever the mainstream whatever

we're calling mainstream gay culture yeah yeah yeah right yeah so how does that feel like as you're turning this into an episode of beginnings that is andy's podcast where he talks to creative people about let me finish this point when you go below that level of like okay there are differences between different cultures yes but then there are individual differences like how what is your relationship then to this mainstream gay culture oh i mean it's been wow wow what a great question oh my god i want to hear both responses i spent a long time being really resentful of the mainstream gay culture and being like, whatever, it's not for me. I don't know the supporting actress nominees off the top of my head from since 19 whatever.

Like that's also like a crazy reference. But like I spent a long time sort of not feeling like I was tapped into that or that I did embody any of those things. But now it's just like, now I I've, now that I've like gotten past that, like I have more room to just like be curious about like, Oh yeah.

Like I'm going to follow the Oscars season this year. And just like, just not, not hate it first, not hate it first. I, it was just, it,

and it all came from just self-loathing and internalized homophobia like it every i think a lot of queer people go through this journey did you go through that journey i've recently realized about myself is that like i've only i've only like really kind of discovered who i am like in my comedy and in my interactions with people like in the last two two and a half three years and i think it's because i've always been able to be myself with bowen um and now us doing the podcast and like us just being ourself together and then involving someone else and um like when i auditioned for my sketch comedy group like i was so i had just come out of the clouds of the summer before and i was so scared that they wouldn't put me on the group because I was gay that I didn't do

my hair and I wore a shirt with Heath Ledger's face on it as the Joker and I wore like a track jacket that was open and I because and I went in with like it's kind of crazy that I even made the team because I was so performing a performance right right that like. That, like, I just, I look back at, like, my work at that time and, like, who I was at that time, and I was like, wow, how much energy I was spending trying to connect to something else. And so, in that way, I've always been very gay. Like, when I was, like, in elementary school, middle school, like I was like looking up like who, who was winning the Oscars and stuff like that.

I was always obsessed. I always had an intrinsic thing where I was like, I like gay stuff. Yeah. But, um, not only is there, was there the oppression of just like,

you know, homophobia and like kind of the patriarchy that is Long Island. It's like, then you come to, then you come to NYU and like, you know, the bullies aren't the straight men. They're the gay men.

Yeah. And so I didn't want to be around them because they didn't like me. Yeah. And they, they kind of like made fun of me. And so then I found the comedy kids who were nice, but I still had to like do drag, you know what I mean?

I had to do mask drag with them. Yeah. And it was nothing that they did. Right. But for the first like five or six years, even though i was quote unquote good at what i did in terms of comedy i look back on that and there's no identity there's no point of view you know i think i'm hitting the jokes but i don't see any and look at my you don't have your voice it's not your voice i don't have my voice at all and i it's only recently been and i know i think

people a lot of people that listen to this podcast they don't really know me as a comedian they know me as this so it's like it's a lot to reconcile and I do think I'm a little delayed in terms of like no it's all coming at the right time I feel like it's better than I'm thinking it is I need therapy

it's the process right but it is very honestly Andy I'm into that you took us to this place. Because I also think the listeners also love to hear the side of you. They do, yeah. You know? Yeah, absolutely. Because it is the part where you're like, I know them.

And it's tender. I mean, sometimes I listen back to this podcast and I agree with people saying I'm annoying because I am doing an okay performance. No, stop. No, I'm not saying that it's like, but you can hear yourself like when you're not being genuine. Totally. And say, well, you, and that is when in your, in your internal mechanism of, oh my God,

there's so much artifice in what I'm saying in this moment, in this moment, in this moment. I hate that. You, I, I suck. That's just, that's always going to be there. It's not real. It's not, but it's right. Yeah. And it's the process.

It's right. But it's, it's only helpful. It's only so helpful. What am I saying? Oh, God. It's only as... To be so self-aware. Yes.

Yeah. That's all it is. I have a random question. Yes. Off of this, but I was thinking of you, Bowen, because we didn't, you know, we didn't know the Emmys were going to be on a Monday,

so we had our show on Emmy night. Bless the audience. We didn't even care. We didn't care. We would never have missed it. To be fair, Union Hall only gave us one day, and it was Emmy night. But I thought of you when I was watching the clips later.

Mr. and Mrs. O. Mr. and Mrs. O. Such a slug. Oh, my God. So wonderful. I was here for the whole thing, and then I go, I want to know how Bo would feel about Mr. and Mrs. O. Oh. and Mrs. O. Such a slay. Oh my God. So wonderful. I was here for the whole thing and then I go, I want to know how Bo would feel

about Mr. and Mrs. O. Oh my God. They seem wonderful. I'm very familiar with Mr. and Mrs. O. Oh, okay. She brings them to talk shows all the time. That was my first time seeing them. Oh, they're so wonderful.

Okay. Her mom wore a humbug. It's gorgeous. She looked amazing. Yes, she did. Oh, she looked amazing. I love that hair. She's a glamorous woman. I love's gorgeous. She looked amazing. Yeah, she did. Oh, she looked amazing. I love that hair. She's a glamorous woman.

I love the hair. She had iconic hair. And just, I don't know. It was just very special. And I hope it means good things in the future for her. We can't be disappointed about her losing. Because the thing is like. And the thing is, she doesn't give a shit.

She doesn't give a shit. And also, somebody very deserving did win. Yes. And that's my thing. It's like a little bit, I don't think so,. She doesn't give a shit. And also, somebody very deserving did win. Yes. And that's my thing is it's like a little bit, I don't think so, honey, everyone being like, ugh, with the winners. It's like, you guys, television is so good. Right. What are you going to do? The winners, like, they're talented.

You know what I mean? Every category was stacked. But you know who I was gagged one? Tandy Newton. Tandy. Come on, Slay. That was wonderful. That was so exciting. She's and that's another that's one of

the things i always say every year i am always pissed when someone that was deserving the first year who loses wins the second year but i didn't give a fuck with that no i didn't care also oh my god huge that henry winkler won and i love that he said kids go to bed as the kids are in their 40s. Love that. Very funny. I'm obsessed with Henry Winkler's. Give me Henry Winkler's Twitter. Him holding varieties of fish he's caught is literally my favorite thing.

Lovely. It's like a vision board. That man is having a great time. Yes. Okay? He has caught a trout. He has caught a rainbow trout, and he is loving it. It's just like a beautiful Henry Winkler smile and a fish and nothing makes me happier.

He's basically playing a version of himself on Barry. Do you guys watch? Yes. Paula Newsome. I think huge. She plays the detective. Yeah. Oh yeah.

You've talked about this. Spoiler alert. She like gets into some stuff with Henry Winkler's character. How'd you feel about that? Naomi, another interracial couple. Oh, interracial. Of our type.

Representation matter. Jewish and black? Yes. Or just white. White and black. I mean, I'm Jewish. This is the thing. I was saying on stage.

I didn't realize this. It's taken me a while, but I grew up Jewish in Pennsylvania, and it's different. We're surrounded by white power groups. Oh, sure, sure, sure. If you had a map, you would just see swastikas dotting the landscape of Pennsylvania. And so I grew up very like, or my best friend in sixth grade ended our friendship by going,

I wish Hitler had killed your family. I just like wept, just started crying in like homeroom or something. It was like towards the end of the day, you go back like homeroom or something. I can't. It was like towards the end of the day. You go back to homeroom. I remember saying that. Oh, yeah. No, cruelty was that flippant.

Yeah. Yeah. Homophobia, I'm sure racism was that flippant. Oh, yes. So a Jew from Pennsylvania is a different. I realized this last night. Like I present in New York or L.A. I present as just a white man.

Or as Naomi would say, a white man or as naomi would say a white white and so it's a i not i'm not used to that i'm not you i'm used to being like oh i'm the one everyone's going to like when shit gets bad i'm the one that's going to be shoved to a uh a train car and taken off somewhere god um but so i i don't know how to answer but henry wiggler yes thank you i get what you're saying i get what i completely understand that discussion like who's white who's jewish who's whatever whereas like it's because i feel like it was a conversation we had early on andy like because you know i grew up in new york i went to private school on the upper east side honey i was like you're jewish okay you're thriving. You know, I didn't know.

Must be roses. I didn't know. Obviously, you know, I knew the history but what it meant, you know, now we're coming up as a kid in the 90s going to school on Park Avenue. I didn't see it. And then to, you know, like, oh, right, right, right. If you're, you know, I think for most others, you know, right?

If you're away from a major city. Yeah, in Pennsylvania, we're just like, we're at Zyklon A level. We're one step away from Zyklon B right down there. That's... Oh, what a time. Dark, yes. Maybe the darkest. Andy keeps it light, and that's I think what I love about him. Guys, we went from...

The bits. We need the bits. We need the bits. We went from Flintstones to gas chambers. That's a full spectrum. He can flip between the two. Well, it keeps you guessing. Sometimes I said, honey, if you ever got Alzheimer's, I don't know if I'd know. Because you'd be saying some stuff and juxtaposing

where I'm like, are you here? We're there already. The dementia plaques are in the brain. No, don't say that. That's my greatest fear. No, no, no, no. My grandfather had it. The worst thing you can do with someone who may be suffering, may potentially have an Alzheimer's

is to think about it. What do you mean? This is the fucking paradox. It's because if you think about having Alzheimer's. Are you talking about a panic attack? If you think about someone else having Alzheimer's, that means they will have it? No, no, no, no, no.

If you panic about having Alzheimer's and you fixate on it, that's a bad thing to do. My mom's doing that. My mom's been doing that means they will have it. No, no, no, no. If you panic about having Alzheimer's and you fixate on it, that's a bad thing to do. My mom's doing that. My mom's been doing that for the last 20 years. Well, she's got to stop. It sucks.

This is why I'm not going to have sex with her. She's so insane. She wouldn't think about that. It'd be on. I'd put it down. Oh, my God. Oh, your sister Yang

is listening to this. She's so furious. No, she loves that. She loves that. She my God. Oh, your sister Yang is listening to this. She's so furious. No, she loves that. She loves that. She loves it. Sister Yang is in, is a Jew living in a white supremacy.

We talked about this on the episode. I said, Bowen Yang is the one that's closer to being the Jew boo. Well, literally, I wanted to be like,

I'm like, she is an Asian Jew in the South. Yes. God bless. I said, girl, you on the front lines. She's in Atlanta. Yes. God bless. I said, girl, you on the front lines.

She's in Atlanta. She's doing great. But she, oh, but they did, they did do a great Atlanta joke at the Emmys last night, which I loved.

What'd they do? Where it was like, I think it was, Che made a joke. It was like, and there's this new show called 15 Miles Outside of Atlanta that's an all white cast or something. No, they're doing an all right wee bit of Atlanta called 15 Miles Outside of Atlanta. That's an all white cast or something.

No, they're doing an all right. We beard of Atlanta called 15 miles. Okay. I think it's time. It's time for. I don't think so, honey. Oh, Andy just. Oh, my God.

Tightened. Tightened up. Oh, my God. He's opened a notebook. Oh, and he's got. Oh, I love a prepared queen. And we just. We stand a prepared queen. We stand a prepared queen. We just had Max Silvestrian who delivered a great

one written out and we, and this is truly a sea change moment for us because we realize that we have to bring... We gotta bring in our A game. We gotta bring our A game down. Because you know what's crazy is like, everyone's like, oh, you guys are the masters of the form. It's like, no. Out of the 300 people we've had do it.

I'm going to rank us at like 168 and 169. I'm in the third percentile. I'm like, you know, I'm like in the middle of the pack. Yes. But we have some people full on slay it. We've got we've got some Titans here. So here we go. Matt, you want to go first?

No, you went first last time. I can go first. You want to go first? That's generous. You want me to go first? I can go first. I can go first. I'll go first. I can go first. You want to go first? That's generous of you. That one is generous. You want me to go first? I can go first. I can go first. I'll go first. I'll go first. Okay, this is Matt Rogers. I don't think so, honey.

In your face, my love. This is Matt Rogers. I don't think Sony's time starts now. I don't think so, honey, that the Oscars are going to be shorter. Bitch, we like the long Oscars. We are gay. We want the long Oscars. We want every original song performed in full. If not, I don't think so, honey.

I don't think so, honey, that we're not getting full clips of all the nominated films with people coming out. And I don't think so, honey, that every performer's entrance isn't a full minute long. I don't think so, honey. I want a long Oscars. You're going to condense the Oscars to two hours? Bitch, I love staying up. It's an excuse. 30 seconds.

It reminds me of when I was little and had that decadent moment where I'd lay out all the snacks and I'd stay up until one in the morning to see if Annette Bening was going to win for American Beauty. She did not. That year it was Hilary Swank and Boys Don't Cry. Questionable. I don't think so, honey, that win or maybe either of her wins. I don't think so, honey, that Hilary Sw her wins. I don't think So Honey that Hilary Swank has two Oscar wins and Annette Bening has zero.

And why am I able to say I don't think So Honey this? Because I have a long history of hours spent watching the Oscars. Let me watch a long Oscars as part of my gay culture. And that's one minute. They said they were going to take, they made two changes to the Oscars. They were adding Best Popular Film, which has been rescinded, which I agree with. And they were gonna take they made two changes to the Oscars they were adding

the best popular film which has been rescinded which I agree with thank god and they were gonna shorten the Oscars and they were gonna keep it short

bitch no we like the long Oscars I'm here for the full night as you said especially as a kid see like the Sunday night and it was like stay up late on Sunday

which was always like a school night it's an event it's an event you're here for the two hours I mean with all those commercials it's not so bad no it's not and it's such a you know what I mean like a school night it's an event it's an event you're here for the two hours i mean with all those commercials it's not so bad no it's not and it's such a you know i mean like a culture like i want to see everything you know i sort of got do you think they're gonna cut the in

memorial no they're not gonna cut the memory but they're gonna cut like a lot of categories i mean they gotta i mean i mean you're not gonna see like sound mixing sound editing cinematography you're not gonna see that shit you're, you're probably going to see the big ones. The big ones. Acting, you'll see all those because, of course, you'll see Best Picture. You'll see whatever wins for song because it's going to be the performances.

They're for writing. They always give you original. They'll give you the adapted and original screenplay. Honestly, Best Director. What if they give you none of the international animation? They might not give you foreign film well right but even the you know shorts and the and the features and i'm like are you kidding me like that you know that's a huge moment yeah it's like give them their time on stage you're cutting an hour out of it that's like crazy and i would imagine that they're not going to cut the song performances because

not when you have gaga up there potentially doing it, and also Troye Sivan is potentially going to have it. Oh, for Boy Erased. For Boy Erased. Okay, is Boy Erased just a gritty Love, Simon? What's going on there? I think that is one way to market it, yes. Is it out yet? No, no, no.

I saw it. I was just like... Planet Toronto. I think Love, Simon is dealing more with I'm gay and it's my problem, whereas the conflict of Boy Erased is specifically the conversion. Okay. Hold on a second. Was Love, Gilda supposed to be a takeoff on Love, Simon?

I don't think so. The bit. I don't think so, honey. I don't think so. I don't think so with that oversimplification. How dare you? One word. And if that was a bit.

I don't approve. I don't approve. I did cry at the Love Gilda trailer oh my god we saw the movie and I cried yes we saw it it was lovely

oh my god and actually I'll say I didn't grow up as a yeah she was and I wasn't even though I do comedy I wasn't necessarily

a comedy nerd and didn't ingest I didn't start watching SNL until like the Oteri years right you know yeah I think I would say

the same so like I didn't but like you know so to see her story I mean I knew. You know? Yeah, I would say the same. So like I didn't, but like, you know, so to see her story, I mean, I knew her, you know, in my head, I knew her as being a comedian power couple

with Gene Wilder. I didn't know all this stuff before and oh my God, it was so good. It's rich. So good. You have to see it, everyone. Bowen, your phone went to.

Oh, okay. Here. Sorry, this is just a behind the scenes moment. Just a phone moment. Phones they go to, you know. Here you go. Here you go.

Okay, this is Bowen Yang's I Don't Think So, Honey on this episode. And his time starts now. I don't think so, honey. These shits I've been taking the last couple of weeks. I am dumping out beef stew into my bowl every morning. And I can't do it anymore. I'm getting very concerned.

And I'm on a thread with lovely people, Anna Drez and Nicole Silver, Rachel Winitsky, Billy Domino. We call it, we call it ploppers or something. We all text each other

as soon as we take a shit. He knows exactly what it's called and it's definitely called ploppers. No, but no, the reason I don't know is because it changes every week. Okay. And so if someone changes the text

to protect your anonymity, I am, I don't like what's coming out of my ass. Jesus, it's been like this for a year. And no, and I really have been taking problematic shits for the last 12 months. Oh my God. And no doctor will give me a straight answer. They're saying, you know, just eat more fiber.

I'm saying, no, if I ate a whole celery stalk every second of the day, this would not change anything. Five seconds. I think I need to do less fleet enemas. That's one minute. That was sale more. He's been too busy trying to get ready for the anal. No, I don't do it. I don't have anal.

Anal's over. Anal is over. Especially rule of culture number 11. 11. Anal's over. 2019, it. Especially rule of culture number 11. 11. Anal's over. 2019, it's all about fraudage. Fraudage.

Fraudage. Fraudage. Fraudage. Gotta fraud. Gotta fraud. Let's say frotage. Frotage. I've had some of the best

sexual experiences of my life performing frotage. There is like this weird like subculture, subreddit of gay men who are just like, yeah, no, no anal. Let's just rub dicks on our body until we celebrate.

It's pretty solid, so to speak. Okay. Well, now it's time. But also, Bowen, it's been like this for a long time. About a year ago, I was having an interesting time with my poops as well. Yeah. And then I got out of it. I've seen the other side.

I'm so devastated to hear that you're not. Bo, you're not alone. Okay. Okay. I'm here with you. And you know what? I'm going to get an oscopy. Honey, I'm getting in there.

Get it. Do you have coverage? Get a camera. I have coverage. Honey, if you got coverage, get it covered. That's what I say. I'm getting in there and I'm getting answers. You want a camera up there.

I'm getting it. I don't want it, but I'll do what needs to be done. There's nothing more humiliating than going for a butthole problem to the doctor. You're going to put that on? You're going to gram that? Gram that. Oh, yeah. I mean, only if it's a nice looking picture.

Go live, baby. Boomerang. Okay. I think. Fantastic. I think it's time for Naomi to go because. I really don't think. I don't really don't think. Stop with this. No, Andy. You've got it. You've gotten written out. really don't think I don't really don't think

Stop with this I don't think so honey this is garbage You've gotten written out Matt and I just had to pull that out of our asses So to speak One of us literally And okay Andy as a first timer We're going to save you for last I think It's Naomi time

Don't don't don't This is going to go so well This is Naomi at Paragon's. I don't think so, honey. Her time starts now. I don't think so, honey. These dangerous white men who say, I've learned to forgive myself.

Okay, honey, I don't think it's about what you think about yourself. Because if we could have trusted your judgment, we wouldn't have been in this situation to begin with, honey. I don't I don't need to name a name here honey because the list

is too long honey it's not about specifics it's about the general deciding when you yes are done

right the populace 30 seconds you don't get to make the decisions anymore honey I don't think so honey

coming at us when you feel right i think your preoccupation with with what makes you feel good is the problem honey don't i don't want to know what you feel about you yeah i'm gonna tell you what i feel about you yes we are gonna take a collective we're gonna have a collective text message chat, honey. And we're going to tell you when we're ready for you to be forgiven. And that's one minute. This thing of I feel it's time. I feel I'm ready to be forgiven.

What the fuck are you talking about? Syntactically, it's a no. It's a no. Have you ever said that in a relationship? I didn't yell at you. I know I screamed at your mom. I'm ready to be forgiven. Who is that?

Yeah, but that is a very dad thing to say, though. That is such a dad thing. This is my new character, Joanne. I'm deciding the conflict is over. Right, I decide when we are done here. Oh, my dad would pull that shit all the time. And even as a seven-year-old, I'd be like, no. My sense of judgment was so thrown. wait back then just because there is this thing of like i know everything period you know what i mean it's just a it's a patriarchal thing that you know totally you know it's wrong

as a human walking the earth but you have to put up with yeah and then but then like once once you develop that vocabulary like now like i've called my dad out like retroactively and been like oh yeah all those fights we had as kids when we were kids like that was you know that was bullshit right he was like yeah I know how do you say bye bitch in Mandarin it's it's longer than bye bitch it's more syllables well go ahead uh

oh I love that oh my god that's some good that was magical there you go am I saying it close enough it's good. I'm into it. But it doesn't have that same punch and punchy. Tai Tian, Biao Zha.

I felt the punch. Yeah. You felt it? I did. That's what I'm saying. I gotta say, my skin got excited. Ooh. Hey, Biao Zha. Andy's skin got excited.

Tai Tian. Okay. I felt it. I felt a tingle everywhere. And we're gonna feel a tingle now with Andy Beckerman's I Don't Think So Honey. Ooh, Gregorius. Honey. Honey.

Honey. I love this Gregorius. Come on. Come on. Wait. Are we getting a pep talk honestly feeling sick to my stomach honey you can do this yes you have prepared this okay your crown has been bought and paid for where is

where is miss Floyd oh my god I love it okay this is Andy Beckerman's I don't think so honey his time starts now I don't think so honey journalists who put the word comedian in their Twitter bio. Oh my bingo! I spent thousands of dollars of my own money at UCB and earned the frigid disapproval of my waspy Jewish parents in order to call myself a comedian. You spent tens of thousands of dollars of your parents' money to go to columbia j school and hobnob with the strange failed sons of maggie haberman and david remnant and just because you wrote some

slightly sarcastic as weak as a norm mcdonald apology quote unquote joke about trump being a fucking dipshit or something as similarly obvious that twitter fellated you for mostly because you're a buzzfeed byline you think you can call yourself a comedian? I don't think so, honey. 15 seconds. I once saw Ben Gibbard do a solo performance and every comment he made between songs that even approached the event horizon of amusing

elicited roars of laughter from the very willing audience. Yet I don't see a 10-minute chunk on how to divorce a quirky girl on the new Death Cab album because he knows how to stay in his lane. And that's one minute. That's very true. I am spent. That was very good. Congratulations.

You stared the dragon in its face and slit its goddamn throat. This is the best kind. The observational ones. Both observational. I talked about my fucking poop and you talked about Don't qualify mine. Mine was bitch. Both observational. I talked about my fucking poop, and you talked about- Don't qualify mine. Mine was good.

Stop. Okay. But Naomi and Andy- Man, I went in this town. Incisive cultural commentary. Oh, what is wrong with these people? Truly, I mean- The dilettantes.

The dilettantes. I feel you have to perform to be a comedian. Sorry. I'm with you. Sort of. Not anymore. Just put it in your Twitter bio. You're now a comedian.

I also don't like to be superior about anything. I think tweets can be funny. And I think you can be very good at writing them. It's just that you know. Also, there's nothing wrong with not using, instead of using the word comedian, you say humorist or raconteur, raconteuse, whatever you

please, but comedian, there is some sort of implicit meaning in you performing on a stage in front of strangers. I also think good luck calling yourself a comedian and then getting in a room with people who actually are when you've called yourself

a comedian all these years and then people find out that you haven't performed. Whatever. I also really don't like to be superior about it, but it is a thing. It's a thing. It's a thing. And it's claiming something you haven't earned.

Sure. But it's not superiority. It's just about like, it's fine. As Andy Beckerman once said, stay in your own lane. Or you know what? Go out there and do mics.

Go out there and put a show up. Yeah. Start whenever. It's never too late to start. Never. Never. Never too late. They just want the cultural cachet of comedy's in now, guys.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They want that even though really they're just writing listicles and things like that. I can't believe you threw in a Mackie Haberman, David Remnick. Little Barb there. Love that. Barbalicious. Barbalicious. Barbarella. Starring Jane Fonda.

That's going to be your name for me now. Barbarella. I do identify with Jane Fonda. Yes. The same. Wow. This is truly a special episode. Phenomenal episode.

This was a phenomenoose. Phenomenoose episode. And I would say that it felt like therapy. It truly did. I'm not even saying this in any sort of facetious way. Thank you for asking those questions, Andy. Yeah, that was really good. And thank you for facilitating all.

I mean, this only happens because, and this is what I said on the top of the show, Andy and Naomi just set the tone right. They come in correct. Come correct. Say something beautiful and poignant. That will be the last thing our listeners hear. So much pressure. Go. I'm feeling very volney right now.

Volney. My heart is very open, and I'm glad that you three could come in and build a fire and cook a stew that we could all enjoy. How dare you mention stews after I just compared my fecal matter

to beef stews. This is pre-chew stew. Pre-chew. Pre-chew. Thank you. Thank you. And I'll just keep it simple. You know,

something from one of our favorite movies. If you wanna be somebody, if you wanna go somewhere, you better wake up and pay attention. Wow! Naomi! Vocalista!

Vocalista. I'm telling you, Lady Day. Lady Day. We can't, you know what? You and I end the show, the episode with a song each time, but that, we're not gonna beat that. Check out Couples Therapy,

October 6th. Or are we? Check out Couples Therapy, October 6th, at The Virgil in LA. Listen to the podcast. It's fantastic. Deep in,

watch as I dive in. I'll never meet the ground. We're far from the shallow now. Did that kind of work? Yeah, it did. Okay, it's good. Always. Forever Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by

Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team and liking our page on Facebook. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski.

And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind-the-scenes stories, crazy details, and honestly, just having a blast talking football. Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all times, from legends to our buddies to current stars. We're finally answering the age-old question, what kind of dudes are these dudes? We're going to find out, Jules.

New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom.

I'm Cheryl Swoops. And I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women. And T and I have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby, an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose.

My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. I was a desperate delusional dreamer. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty

on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one.