Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - "It's a Shame" (w/ Matteo Lane)

Episode Date: June 21, 2017

Well bitch, here’s an instant classic for you! IN-STANT CLASS-IC! True RENAISSANCE MAN, MATTEO LANE,(Girl/Guy Code, Seth Meyers) joins Matt & Bowen to TALK Miley’s beef jerky voice, Fran Lebowitz, LIZA MINNELLI on HSN, the ICONS: Barbara, Whitney, & Mariah, Sleeping Beauty, Maleficent, the inherent stress of Rachel Ray, their experiences as working comedians, and (can you believe?) much much MORE! You a fan of the pod, mama? Tell your friends, write a review, tell your friends to write a review, etc. WE WANT TO HEAR WHAT YOU THINK!LAS CULTURISTAS HAS A PATREON! For $5/month, you get exclusive access to WEEKLY Patreon-ONLY Las Culturistas content!!https://www.patreon.com/lasculturistasCONNECT W/ LAS CULTURISTAS ON FACEBOOK & TWITTER for the best in "I Don't Think So, Honey" action, updates on live shows, conversations with the Las Culturistas community, and behind-the scenes photos/videos:www.facebook.com/lasculturistastwitter.com/lasculturistasLAS CULTURISTAS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASThttp://foreverdogproductions.com/fdpn/podcasts/las-culturistas/ Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City are back. I love that. I love that. Oh my gosh. Welcome. And last season's drama was just the tip of the iceberg. You're recording us? I am disgusted.

Never in a million years after everything we've been through did I think that you would reach out to our sworn enemy. We were friends. How could you do this to me? I don't trust her. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Wednesdays at 9 on Bravo, or stream it on City TV+. I'm Julian Edelman.

I'm Rob Gronkowski. And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind-the-scenes stories, crazy details, and honestly, just having a blast talking football. Every week, we're discussing blast talking football. Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all times, from legends to our buddies to current stars. We're finally answering the age

old question, what kind of dudes are these dudes? We're gonna find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Sheryl Swoops. And I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby.

And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women. And T and I have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby, an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba?

Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home, and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest

and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. I was a desperate delusional dreamer. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty

on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. Okay, so listen up right now. Bowen Yang and I, Matt Rogers, have a little bit of a show we want to invite you to. It's called Night Soap. It's part of Ars Nova's Ant Fest,

and it's at Ars Nova on June 22nd, babe. At 7 p.m. It's an amazing show. Matt and I are so proud of it. We are both in full drag. Geesh! Geesh! The show is about two chocolate dynasties, the Hershey's and the Nestle's,

warring with each other to fight for who's going to be the first chocolate company to sell chocolate in space. This is all true. It's part dynasty, it's part war paint. It's just a gag. Come see it. We'd love to see you there. June 22nd at 7pm. Tickets are on sale right now at ArsNovaNYC.com.

The wigs are going to be high and so are the stakes. It's Night Soap and tickets are on sale now. My grandma and your grandma were sitting by the fire. My grandma told your grandma I'm going to set your flag on fire. Talking about henna. Henna. Henna.

Henna. Aiko, aiko, ande. Jagamo, fino, anane. Jagamo, fino, anane. Ding dong, it's culture. Teresa's calling. And I had to start the pod because these queens were nerding out about video games. And I said, well, why don't we include everyone in this discussion? This is the first gay with the weimer that i've had we've had on the show

this is true this is the first gamer yes yeah we've had on i think okay we're gonna talk about this after we introduce him but i think i'm dealing with some throat stuff some vocal timbre stuff do i sound like i'm dealing with some no but i think i think our guest is but let's go through the credits, honey. Just to preface everything that everyone's voices are going to be a little froggy. Credits include. Credits include. And just before we go through the credits, I'm sorry, one more thing.

The AC is running because, bitch, it is hot. It's a heat wave. It's a heat wave. Your love is like a heat wave. As Martha something once said during the Motown era. The Shirelles. No, it wasn't the Shirelles. I'm sorry.

I think it's Martha and the Vandellas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or something like that. Or maybe I made up that name because it sounds like it could be... The Shirelles sang Mama Said. Okay, the credits. Let's do this. Okay, guy code, girl code.

And you've seen him on Seth Meyers. Oh, honey. And he's a true icon. I mean, you see him all around the city. Headlines, Carolines, frequently. And he has his amazing show that he co-hosts with Christy Cello, Battle of the Divas. Look for that this month, June 28th at Union Hall. At Union Hall.

Matt and I have done it. It was a blast. Matt famously beat me and Christina Aguilera vanquished over Britney Spears, but we'll get to that. Absolutely. But I am also a loser of the show, too. So we'll talk all about it. Everyone, it is Mateo Lane.

Hi. How are you guys? You know, good. You make me sound so much nicer than I think about myself. So I should come back. Stop. What is this? I also just noticed that I have a zit on my shoulder.

So I'm sorry. I have a zit on my shoulder. And I was picking at it on the subway. Oh, I can't wait to get home and pop it. Like a full asshole. And then I was literally doing it. Do I sound OK, by the way? You sound great. Alright. I was just saying, I had to acknowledge

the whole throat thing because I'm very scratchy and I just want to get that out. Yeah, that was a self-conscious moment. You were vulnerable. You were like Katy Perry live streaming. Oh, well oh my god. Matea, do you know about this whole Katy Perry live streaming? I don't care about her or Miley Cyrus or Taylor Swift. I don't care about any of them.

I think they're all talentless. Thank God. Miley? Okay. Oh, we were in DC. You think Miley's talentless? Yes. I think she's horrific. She's got a fine voice.

Based on singing? She sounds like beef jerky. I disagree. She sounds like, oh, whoa. Okay. I don't think that's how she sounds. She does. Whenever she talks, she's like, yeah, so yeah so hey my dad does billy ray cyrus

would you have a very high standard for vocalists and i should yeah i keep thinking you know it's like every time i talk to people it's like i keep feeling like i'm the bad person and i should i should downplay my feelings on but then i watch whitney houston i think you know what no i you know what i stand by it yeah that was a standard at one time and then before her the standard was aretha franklin yeah and then before that was Judy Garland, then these bitches better step up. Okay. No, you know what? I think there's a lot to that.

I definitely think a lot of the bullshit that we're tolerating, like in the media, like all the feuds and stuff, if we just upped our standards on talent, we wouldn't be dealing with it. Well, it's our fault. This is what Fran Lebowitz says, is that it's the audience's fault that art is getting worse and worse because everything's becoming more broad and on the nose. And people can't handle subtleties anymore. That's why theater's going down.

That's why, like, every type of art is just being broadened and broadened and broadened because they have to go down to the audience's level because the audiences are getting stupider and stupider. You know what? That reads in almost every way. Mateo and I talked about Fran Lebowitz one night. And you were there, Matt. Have you watched the documentary yet? I love the documentary. I watch it probably once a week. It's so good. Her whole thing about

Times Square is genius. It's so good. What's her thing about Times Square? She's like, people keep shitting on Times Square, and tourists keep coming into New York and shitting on Times Square, and it's like, okay, if you don't like it, then tell us, because that's for you. We'll take it away if we can. That's for you. She's like, you know what time square needs if you're a new yorker a butcher

a bookshop she's like you walk around here tour say oh into this restaurant they saying we didn't like it well really let us know so we can get rid of it knock down that fucking red lobster and then she has this joke about how time square is like a gig it's like the new gay club back in the oh yeah back in the 80s because because because it's like now it's like you see someone you know in time square and you're like wait what the fuck are you doing i'm not really. Because now it's like you see someone you know in Times Square and you're like, Wait, what the fuck are you doing here? I'm not really here. I'm just a research.

I came with a friend. It's crazy because I'm there every day of my life because I work there. And it is truly a batshit insane place. It's funny that we call it commercial and safe because I think I feel least safe there. To be honest with you. Yeah. I mean, the other week a car ran through 18 people. That and also, I just I think, well,

what's going on in the world? I'm now a lot more conscious in the past two years of terrorism, perhaps. Well, that's why I moved to Malibu. Liza! Thank God Liza's here to chime in. Pizazz.

Yeah. It couldn't handle all the pizazz that's going on. Let's call it that. Let's call all the bullshit that's happening in the world all the pizazz. Oh, my God. I can't handle the pizazz either. And it makes me a little paranoid when I'm in, like, a place that I know because I'm, like. Target.

You know, it could be a target or whatever. A target, not target the storm. It makes me feel crazy because I'm like, it's not going to happen. But, like, it makes me feel crazy because I'm like, it's not going to happen. But it makes me feel crazy because we have to feel crazy. That's why I bring Depends. Yeah. Thank God. I call Billy Stretch and I say, I'll just, some Depends.

I'm happy to know that Liza's not afraid. You know, Liza not being afraid and God knows she's got reason to be afraid. I'm a hoofer. Liza, you're a hoofer, and we love you so much. And now tell us a little bit more about these dresses you're selling on the Home Shopping Network. I broke my knee. How did you do that? Do you remember?

I was sitting around upside down in a hospital. So I started to pull around with stuff I love. I had my knee replaced. So I was lying around not doing anything. I thought, I hate this. So I started working with clay. She started working with clay. That's the big takeaway.

And then she hurt her knee. Guys, we are just quoting. Mateo is quoting, I should say. This gorgeous video of Liza on the Home Shopping Network. Is that real? It's real. I quote verbatim. Oh my god. Literally, and the

host, by the way, I mean, this, um, some gay spliced together the best of Liza Minnelli on the Home Shopping Network, and she was laying like she was in traction. And Liza could have been, like, faceplant a bowl of mashed potatoes and the host would still be like, that's right, Liza, $4.99! Oh my god.

So she was truly just there to, like, be Liza Minnelli. And then she was taking calls too. Oh, they had a woman call. The host is like, are we have Doris on the line? Doris is from Georgia. Doris say hi to Liza Minnelli today.

And Liza goes, hi, Georgia from Doris. My favorite is the woman who's, um, who says, and Liza, um,

I love you so much. You're so inspiring to me. You're a mentor to me. Thank you so much. You're my mentor too. You're my mentor too. You're my mentor too. You're my mentor too. Oh man. Is it sad

or is it funny? Or is it truly both in a glorious way? Liza, when I think of you, I immediately think of Sequence. Oh, thank you. At one point she's like, you know, she's trying to like upsell. So she's like, Liza's wearing a bracelet and the host is like, you could wear four or five. And the host goes, or Liza goes, of what? She five and the host goes or eliza goes of what she was the bracelets and liza goes one

will do one will do i mean i think you were the one material to tell me that they're putting like liza out to pasture liza's putting herself out to yeah liza well she sold her apartment in new york and she's moved out to the west coast it's sort of like when a dog knows it's gonna die it like goes in the backyard yeah the cats do that too they go off to run and go be by themselves yeah so i'm just going back outside oh my god listen the day she goes and she's she's been white knuckling her for about 25 years but i i truly love her so that will be dev i will be devastated the day she goes mateo has a true roaster spirit for the people that he loves because you truly come for the people that you love.

I know another one is Mariah. Deep down in your heart, that's a beloved icon. Mariah is an interesting one because I, for some reason, and I can't quite figure out why I keep going back to her. If I'm on YouTube, I will end up on Mariah Carey.

High notes. There's something alluring about Mariah that's different than Whitney. It's different than Christina. Mariah fans are a peculiar fan. I'm one of them. Yes, it's a specific person. It reaches to a certain genre of persona. It just, she's. I know who it reaches.

I just, I don't know what it is about her. The hoes. If you're a true hoe in your heart, you love Mariah. I think you're right. Yeah. An insecure hoe. Everyone that I've met that tells me they love Mariah, I'm like, eh, you're a hoe. But I don't know what it is.

And I know Barbara and Whitney are truly, you know, they're better singers at the end of the day. They're better singers. No, I disagree. But I think Mariah, there's something more attractive about her. Now, technically, okay, the runs and all that stuff, like, they're better singers at the end of the day. No, I disagree. But I think Mariah, there's something more attractive about her. Now, technically, okay, the runs and all that stuff, they're all equal. But you're born with a voice.

I think Whitney was born with a voice. You think on their best day of their life, if you put Whitney, Mariah, and Barbara, and Celine all up there together, would you use Barbara on the best day of her life? Wow. I would have thought Whitney Houston you would there together. Barbara. Barbara? On the best day of her life? No question. Wow. I would have thought when you were in Houston

you would have said. No. Matteo knows sort of the back catalog of Barbara's stuff though. Yeah, people when they think of Barbara they think of her like, hello,

I'm holding my hands on my head. Yes, you're framing yourself. My chickens lay green eggs. She's like a total wacko and you know, that kind of voice. But when she was really

in her prime, it was something pretty wild. What was that clip you showed us of her it was some live concert she's got her full fucking fro out but she like is belting her tits off and then she's like she sheds a single tear it was in the 1970s it was during the promotion of a star is born and she was singing yeah and her voice i yeah i't say enough. What was that one? It was from A Star Is Born. It was, not when I fell for you.

No, not Evergreen because she was singing real high. Like it was like G, G, G, G, G. Every note was up there. I'll have to look it up. And it was a ballad? It was a ballad. Well, that changed things for me

because yeah, I kind of had this perception of Barbara as like, hello gorgeous. As more like a theatrical singer and less like a technical, I'm going to blow you away with my range and just technique. And that changed it for me.

And that was very recent. She also has something that Mariah and Whitney don't have, which is a perfect passaggio. So her head voice and chest voice are perfectly blended. So she can jump to either one, but Whitney could never blend them. Mariah can only blend them from up to down, and it's only mid-register. So it's not like when she's way up there, mid-register, she can go, like she can do that. But Barbara can swift flip up with a perfect passaggio.

So to me, she just is a natural singer. Also her face, her nose, her cheeks, she was built like a singer yeah it's funny later on in mariah's career the register switches were really obvious like i remember during like heartbreaker yeah like she would jump up to those wild notes and those crazy verses in heartbreaker and it was i almost thought to myself as i was like whatever like 12 years old listening to it i was like i wonder if she recorded these words separately in one take and then the chest voice notes like in another take because they sound so different yeah through the rain charm bracelet she does it the worst yes because through the rain and i love through the rain love that song but it's it is it's too distracting it's distracting

it is distracting she was eight okay so like... She'd always had that sort of whisper, but she started out as a real belter. Yeah. And when she would sing in her head voice, she would sing in her head voice. But there was a... The blend, it was masked, I think, a little better. Really used her low voice, too.

Oh, yeah. Really used a low register of her voice. But then once Butterfly came out, she decided to really focus on that silky head voice. And because her natural tessera tour was already a little higher, when she was going to belt, the jump wasn't so extreme. But then the voice started to deteriorate in 97. And she never took care of her voice nodules.

And by the time she did Heartbreaker, her voice is good, but there's this, like, it's kind of, it's a big jump. It's different. It just had changed. And Whitney's is the same. Yeah. Whitney's is the same.

You know what I just listened to? I just revisited It's Not Right, but it's okay. That's the song I was thinking of, but I also love. I fucking love that song. Oh, it's so good. You were making a fool of me.

And her like crazy ass like, vibrato on that bell. It is lit. My friend Mitch, who's a DJ, always plays that. I'm like, Whitney! And he knows what I'm talking about. Oh my god. Now he said, so my friend Mitch is a DJ.

And I asked him, because he performs only at gay plays. Gay this, gay that. Do you mix purse first? Do you mix bobs first? Yes, yes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I said, what music do you put on that makes people go dance the most? And he said, number one is Whitney.

Wow. Yeah, I want to dance to somebody, how will I know? You move to those songs. And you just get up. So emotional. And your cover of I'm Every Woman, when that beat comes in, you have to move. It's so good. It's not right, but it's okay.

That dance remix is so iconic and also I do have some tea that it's about to come back to the gay community in a big way. That song? That's all I'm going to say. What? All right, this means a final performance of RuPaul's.

I cannot confirm or deny. All right. That song is going to be something that is going to be back every year. Back in our lexicon. And I am so excited about it you know what I want

because I love Mariah's Honey remix which is a very similar sort of vibe I want this is what I want okay okay and then we can get to

we'll talk about my childhood no no no this is part of your childhood this is lit I want I want to take control of Mariah's life get rid of the manager

this is the thing that I would do. I heard she's a horror. Horrible. Oh, I ask. Trust me. I ask. Am I?

Okay, well, I shouldn't say that. All right. All right. Let's, number one, get rid of the manager. Fire everybody but the backup singers around her. Get her into a detox program. She is bipolar. Her brother came out and said she's bipolar and self-medicated and a drunk.

Completely. And said she'll end up self-medicated and a drunk. And said she'll end up like Whitney. That's what he said. So let's get rid of the drugs. Let's get rid. Because it's pill popping. And I want a year of you on an island with a physical and a mental guru. And get you mentally and physically back in a place where she doesn't care about the music anymore.

She doesn't care about the singing. She's completely emotionally disconnected. And she's lip syncing everything. So I want her back in form. And I don't want her to come back and sound like her old self. I want her to come back and sound like the evolved version of Mariah. Because the problem with Mariah is the makings of a great great she needs a ray of light album where I'm saying Mariah is and Emancipation is great but it wasn't as emotional as I would say like Madonna's ray of light where it was a it was a such a change a true reinvention correct yeah and I think Mariah

she's biracial her sister's uh HIV positive prostitute her you know her father wasn't in her life she's had three divorces she's she's had ups and downs so much happened to her and i think as her fans evolve we're ready to evolve with her i want to see a mature mariah come back and give me a give me an adele album give me a sad album take it back to basics if your whistle notes are gone you had them you did them who cares we're done with them you know I don't care. Just come back and give me the story. Tell us the truth.

Because you know what? She was really able to tell the truth. In the beginning of her career, her lyrics were incredible. Because she cared. Incredible talent as a writer. Emotion. The album, Emotion. That's one of my favorite albums.

The album, Music Box. Even her lyrics where she was writing at 20 years old for Vision of Love vanishing at 20 years old and this is a person who also arranges all her own music

and it's a five octave range on top of it this is a true genius she didn't become a superstar by mistake no you nailed it on the head just now

give her a year off tell her to really just come to Jesus with all this shit that she's gone through and then like i don't know oh my god it makes me weirdly emotional to be honest with you she was so huge for me like i think that was the first album music box that i ever really found and like played and then butterfly even though that was like the turning point in her career

you could say that's a great album it was my favorite album i think ever my all but honey my all when i was playing my all for henry and like i guess maybe you had to grow up with it because he didn't really get it i'm like oh my god this song is so important to me so good this song is so important to me see mariah's let me down more than whitney and whitney died that's the thing is it's like she couldn't I mean Mariah might as well you know I don't know she's just a waste like okay so New Year's

right yeah I was gonna ask you she used the word nonchalantly casually in the song just as a lyric nonchalantly

when I was okay so I was performing a bunch of shows on New Year's right so I have my phone off for most of the night because I'm on stage I'm trying to focus

and I get off stage and I turn my phone on and most of the night because I'm on stage and I'm trying to focus. And I get off stage and I turn my phone on and I get, I'm not making a joke, 70, I counted, 73 text messages. They know who to reach out. Never mind the tweets.

I think I might have texted you. Oh yes, yes you did. Nikki Glaser texted me. Oh my God. I mean, and I was like, oh my God, this is it. Mariah died.

I thought Mariah died. And then I watched it and it was worse. It was worse. I thought, you know what, but I thought, good. I'm glad that, I thought that would be and then I watched it and it was worse it was worse but I thought good I'm glad I thought that would be a turning point for her to sort of refocus and she didn't she didn't

my favorite line is do the lift just for laughs hey everyone this was the number one hit meanwhile behind her is like doesn't get any better honestly it was like the ball dropping and the year changing didn't even happen. The number one topic was what had just gone on with Mariah. Everyone stopped at the party.

We didn't have cable. We were all circled around one iPhone. It was such a moment. And then people wouldn't stop talking about it for over a week. Well, Mariah's problem is she's not graceful either. I mean, one other thing I don't like about her is her hate towards Ariana Grande. It's so stupid. And here's my thing about Ariana.

She is a talented young girl. I crack jokes about her all the time because I say she has the diction of a fog machine. But like, she's not my enemy. You know what I mean? No, but she's got bad diction. Although I did say in Comedy Central that Whitney now can sing better than Ariana. But I think even Ariana would agree. She would agree with that.

Yeah, she would agree. Yeah, she would agree. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City are back. I love that. I love that. Oh my gosh. Welcome. And last season's drama was just the tip of the iceberg.

You're recording us? I am disgusted! Never in a million years after everything we've been through did I think that you would reach out to our sworn enemy. We were friends! How could you do this to me? I don't trust her. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.

Wednesdays at 9 on Bravo. Or stream it on City TV+. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. Guess what, folks? We're teammates again. And we're going to welcome you guys all to Dudes on Dudes. I'm a dude.

You're a dude. And Dudes on Dudes is our brand new show. We're going to highlight players, peers, guys that we played against, legends from the past. And we're just going to sit here and talk about them. And we'll get into the types of dudes. What kind of types of dudes are there, Gronk? We got studs, wizards.

We got freaks. Or dudes dude. We got dogs. Dogs. We'll break down their games. We'll share some insider stories and determine what kind of dude each of these dudes are. Is Randy Moss a stud or a freak? Is Tom Brady a dog or a dude's dude?

We're going to find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, a five-year-old boy floated alone in the ocean. He had lost his mother trying to reach Florida from Cuba. He looked like a little angel. I mean, he looked so fresh. And his name, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere. Elian Gonzalez. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian

Gonzalez. At the heart of the story is a young boy and the question of who he belongs with. His father in Cuba. Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. At the heart of it all is still this painful family separation. Something that as a Cuban, I know all too well. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story,

as part of the My Cultura podcast network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty, and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. We talk about guilt, shame, body image, and huge life transformations. I was a desperate

delusional dreamer and the desperate part got me in a lot of trouble. I encourage delusional dreamers. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate, delusional dreamer. I just had such an anger. I was just so mad at life. Everything that wasn't right was everybody's fault but mine. I had such a victim mentality.

I took zero accountability for anything in my life. I was the kid that if you asked what happened, I immediately started with everything but me. It took years for me to break that, like years of work. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. I'm Cheryl Swoops, WNBA champ, three-time Olympian, and Basketball Hall of Famer. I'm a mom, and I'm a woman. I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby, journalist, sports reporter, basketball analyst, a wife, and I'm also a woman.

And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. See, athlete or not, we all know it takes a lot as women to be at the top of our game. We want to share those stories about balancing work and relationships, motherhood, career shifts, you know, just all the s*** we go through. Because no matter who you are,

there are levels to what we experience as women. And T and I, well, we have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby, an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. I think what she pulled off with the Manchester, sort of that festival that she threw after the attack I thought that was really cool

It was really cool She did a very cool thing Yeah, I think so Yeah, Mariah, just, anyways My life is categorized by very few things and Mariah's one of them Divas are one of them Let's just like, break, let's just like expand

I could tell you right now It goes from Maleficent to Storm to Barbra Streisand to Mariah's one of them. Divas are one of them. Let's just like, break, like, just like expand. I could tell you right now, it goes from Maleficent to Storm to Barbra Streisand to Mariah to Cleo Lane then to Maria Callas. Okay, because we were going to talk

about Maria Callas. I will talk to you and I will cry and I will, I can't even get my head around the Maria Callas thing with you. I couldn't,

do you now, why? Because your depth of knowledge about it it's it's so funny we you were showing us a youtube video and you were able to like stop it at points and like science teacher out you were like giving a seminar you are that's your favorite video on youtube isn't it the one where it's choosing a demo and it was showing the notes and stuff yes yeah yeah yeah oh that's it's such a great yeah yeah. I mean, let's start there because usually we ask all of our guests

what was the culture that shaped you that like... Sleeping Beauty. Sleeping Beauty, Maleficent. Bigger than anything, Sleeping Beauty. Maleficent, the first gay icon. And let me explain. You know, I didn't realize how big of an impact, the two artists of that film that impacted me

were Mark Davis, who's my favorite artist, who illustrated Maleficent, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Cruella de Vil. He was sort of the female. Wow, he created them. artist, who illustrated Maleficent, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Cruella de Vil. Wow, he created them. Yes. He was the female. Like, when they needed drawing the female bodies.

By the way, for those listening, I went to art school and I drew TV commercials and fashion ads forever. This is someone who's an incredible comedian, incredible artist, and incredible singer. Renaissance man. Just so you know what we have on the show today. Single desperate. The female body is a very difficult image to sell to an audience. And Mark Davis was the king.

They had seven artists who were the head animators of Disney. And they sort of created all the characters that we know today. From 1937, 1939 was Snow White. All the way up through Jungle Book, which is like 65. They probably all stopped around the 70s at some point.

So Mark Davis was a big influence on me. He created Maleficent. And Ivan Earle, who was the artistic director for that film, also, if you look at Sleeping Beauty, first of all, most Disney films take one and a half to two years to make, and a background takes a day to make. Sleeping Beauty took seven years to make, and the backgrounds took about a half to two years to make, and a background takes a day to make. Sleeping Beauty took seven years to make, and the backgrounds took about a week to make.

So Ivan Earle, who was a modernist painter at the time, was taking these old tapestries from the Renaissance and 14th century, all these things, and then adapting that for Sleeping Beauty, which they also mixed with Tchaikovsky's Sleeping Beauty Ballet. The whole film is just an artistic masterpiece.

They literally have a museum just on that movie. But the movie itself, it's funny because I try to link what my connection is with all my sort of – I'm a very obsessive personality. A lot of gays are actually. Yeah, I'm the same way. We latch on to things. So Maleficent is one and Sleeping Beauty, the singing. And then I do not tell people this.

I am a nerd about skyscrapers. Wow. I am on a skyscraper message board called Skyscraper Forum. I am obsessed with high-rise construction and super tall skyscrapers all over the world, specifically New York. It's New York versus Hong Kong and Chicago. Those are the world's three largest skylines. Hong Kong, Chicago. Those are the world's three largest skylines. Hong Kong number one.

And the movie, the architecture of that movie is the spires and the castles. If you look at it, image-wise, I just must have soaked up so much that I'm subconsciously finding other things in real life

that bring me back to Sleeping Beauty. So Maria Kaus would be a big one for me because the movie was made in the 50s when Maria was the queen. And the singer to Sleeping Beauty. So Maria Callas would be a big one for me because the movie was made in the 50s when Maria was the queen and the singer for Sleeping Beauty has a very round sound

and she's a coloratura soprano like Maria Callas so I'm attracted to that sort of bottled round sound of an opera singer and then artistic wise and then Maleficent and then Maleficent. It's a whole thing. What about Maleficent? My joke is that she's a gay icon.

Her requirements are she has horns and she's a cunt. We're like, good enough for me. Get in there. Maleficent. The horns do a lot of work. Get in the pantheon. Yes. The thing I've drawn the most in my life is Maleficent.

I would sit when I was a kid. My mother is also an illustrator. I think it's genetic. She never taught me how to draw. She was just totally Mexican. She had kids. That was her life. But my brother, sister, and I are all artists.

My brother's a top designer at Apple. So the way your phone, he lives in San Francisco. The way your phone looks and how it moves and how it's designed, my brother does all that. Wow. And I illustrated TV. We were all sort of artistically. It's genetic. Yeah. And I would sit and draw. I'm And I illustrated TV. I mean, we're all sort of artistically, it's genetic. Yeah.

And I would sit and draw. I'm not making a joke. I would draw, I would go through a ream of paper a week, which is 500 sheets. And my mom would scream at me because she would say, use the, because I would make one line and if I didn't like it, it went to the back and I did it again until it was perfect. Yeah, yeah. And my mom, would you use the back of these papers? I knew I didn't like it.

But I, Maleficent, I must have drawn her. And I also did flip books with Post-its. I would go to Staples and fill Post-its up with flip books. And I would sit and draw all day. My Kate cousin would draw too. So him and I would sit. So he lived next door to me. So I would sit and draw with him.

Also a Maleficent fan. He's not a big Maleficent fan, but he's definitely a big faggot. And so we would draw women he an Ursula gay? He's not into the Disney movies, to tell you the truth. What do you think of Ursula? Oh, I love her. Divine? Please, Divine. Ollie Johnson or Frank Thomas, one of those two designed her and based her

off of Divine. Right, yeah. Okay, that's so funny that the ream of paper was this beautiful thing for you, because I drew a lot as a kid. I didn't really grow into it as an adult. But the best thing that ever could have happened in a week was my dad came home from work and stole 500 sheets from the office. And I was like, yes!

And he had stuff to draw on. Yes. And you know what's sad? As I was thinking about this the other day, I'm getting back into portrait painting. Great. But because I have drawn so much. I was talking to Henry about this the other day I'm getting back into portrait painting great um but I because I I have drawn so much I was talking to Henry about this the other day yeah because it's like I was talking to him like he was playing he was like tired or something so he was literally like zombie eyes but playing these amazing piano and I said Henry I said does

it ever like shock you that like you in your sleep can play the piano like unbelievably well but like it doesn't even matter to you? And he's just kind of like, not that it doesn't matter, but there's days where you're just like, you're over it. And I said, I've gotten to a point in my life where I've drawn so much that part of me has just kind of stopped. I've stopped

sitting and drawing at a table with my imagination, and it really makes me sad, because it was such a personal I'm not sure how I'm going to get back to it. Do you ever feel that way about comedy or stand-up or anything? That you've tapped out?

Stand-up is too new to me yet. I've only been doing it five years. So to me, I'm still exploring and discovering and finding my voice. And getting up in front of a crowd surges you with that adrenaline. and i have it's more goal oriented it's it's a new i am a person who enjoys challenge yep and it's a new challenge to me so i'm still learning that world right we're drawing it's like if you told me i need you to i can literally draw anything

you want anything you can draw anything yeah um but that's so funny because this goes back to the thing where you're like well you know gay people are sort of obsessive or not all of us i'm a very obsessive person and latched on to things i did not let go but meanwhile like you do let go of these things and we were just talking about video games before we went on uh air air hit record and like i for a period of time in the last like five this is like the best year in gaming in decades i think and so now i'm finally getting back into stuff because there's stuff that's like attracting me. But like for like a solid eight years, like I was not playing video games and I was like,

yeah, that's boring, whatever. So like that, not that that's a passion or an art form. No, but it's the same thing where it's like you, you give so much energy to something and then something happens where. It just, something dies about it. You have to come back. Totally. You have to come.

And you know, I also created a cartoon that I spent months. To me, as an illustrator artist, I think actually all art really does. Singing, it all functions the same way. The evolutionary process and what inspires you all works the same way. I think for me, I can't speak on certain people. As an illustrator, I've only had less than five moments where my skills are up to par i can draw anything i want doesn't mean i care about it where this something happens to you where there's this this surge of of like when i did my cartoon right i saw it in my head

and i would i i don't i can't i actually can't it into words. I just knew I had to get it all out. And in a month, I did 500 drawings. Fully colored, full drawings, characters, storyboards, outlines. And I literally, one day I did one last drawing. I looked at it and I said, okay, done. And that kind of surge where it's like, it fills you up and you have to get it out. Has only happened like five times you said less than five i totally happen identify with that there was a when i

was in i'm sorry i'm talking so much no this is there there last time that happened i was in college and we were in a storyboarding class and we had to come up with like our final piece or whatever and i was i just i was upset my friend soph friend Sophia is Greek, one of my neighbors in Chicago. And her mom would do the, it's called tessography, where they read the coffee grounds, very similar to tea leaves in the Greek coffee cups. And something hit me where this story of this girl who's Greek and she wants to learn this, the ancient tradition. And her grandmother, you know, is trying to teach her. And one night she went to bed and she was visited by this spirit and the spirit took her and she fell into the cup and everything started all the symbols came to life and she you know this whole thing and it just hit me and i was like and so i did and again and it has to for me it has to

happen within a night so in a night i did 300 drawings i just sat up and i just did all the drawings that i possibly could until I got it out and then it was done. And then it's like this feeling of like whoosh, it's out. Because you're intrinsically an artist.

I think sometimes like I think that's the Italian in you. That's the Italian. I am so Italian by the way. No, everything like passionate. It's just that kind of like inspiration.

You have to get it out. I mean it's the way you express yourself. It feels very Renaissance era. It's like you know you just do it.. I mean, it's the way you express yourself. It feels very Renaissance era. It's like, you know, you just do it.

But it doesn't come, like, so now, like, I did Princess Cupcake, which is the name of my cartoon. I'm pitching two months from now. That has all been an annoying process

the entire time. Not the drawing part, the everything else. All the bullshit. But, I don't know the next time I'll be that. Like, I've tried to pick up and do a comic book,

or I've tried to do this and stuff, and my brain is just like, I wish. But it's fine that you don't know the next time I'll be that. Like, I've tried to pick up and do a comic book, or I've tried to do this and that, and my brain is just like... But it's fine that you don't know, because you know it will happen again. It will happen again. Because that's just who you are. I hope. It may...

It 100% will. It may not. But you know what? Like, I just don't believe that could happen, because if you think back to the beginning of your life, it's been happening, right? Whether it be in any area of your life, there comes a time when

at when you're an artist you have to reveal something new about yourself or at least prove to yourself that you're that you've changed or when you've learned things like for me it's like whenever i write like a new show i feel so accomplished at the end because it's like okay well i created something that's like a piece of myself that's just i think how some people exist in the world like writers writers, you know, the way that they get that out is by writing. Actors performing.

They latch onto a piece. They feel they connect to it and it reveals something about themselves. You, I think, maybe right now in your life, that's most naturally coming out with art.

Yeah. Which is like really fascinating when you take into account that you have so many talents. I would be okay if it came even just one more time in my life. I actually don't expect it. Maybe another 15 years.

Wow. But the kind of energy that it is, it also exhausts you. You know what I mean? It's an exhausting process. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's like total catharsis. I mean, I don't know how to describe it. But if it comes in 10 years from now, it comes.

And if it comes earlier, it comes. If it doesn't, it doesn't. But my skills, at least, will be up to par. I mean, I make sure that I still draw every once in a while so I keep up my muscle memory. You stay technically right. That's perfect because then the skill is in a variable. It's not going to be a question mark when you do return to it. Right.

It's unlike Mariah where it's like hopefully when when she does go back to this like authentic place with her music, like her limit will be that she can't like do all five octaves, but at least she'll like return to it. That's what happened to Maria Callas too, is when she wanted to go back, the voice wasn't able to do what it was able to. That's what sucks about singing. It's like athletic,

it's being an athlete. It literally, it's making me think of, I used to run every single day. Athletics were such a big part of my life. Sports were huge for me. Every single day, I ran six to eight miles, and I was a really good track athlete. That happened all throughout high school.

Then one day, I just stopped, and I never did it again. Now, when I try to work out the way I did or just try to work out at all, I end up doing too much or really exhausting myself. And I don't think it's because I'm out of shape. I think it's because I'm used to what I was. Your brain is still used to a certain level. Exactly. And I think that with these artists, the same thing happens. Artists and athletes, so similar.

And I think that Mariah, I think she's facing the fact that she is not the athlete that she was. And that is devastating. Yeah. It's depressing. And that's why age is so real. Yeah. I think that's why she hates Ariana Grande. She sees premium talent right there.

And it's being used to its full potential at the right time. And she's thinking to herself, and she is put in an industry where she has to think about it. Oh, shit, I'm old and I can't do what I do. And that is the world's fault. Joan Rivers always said, she goes, comedy will keep you alive forever. Yeah. She's like, you know, I would go. I mean, she died, but you know what I mean.

I saw her in the last three years of her life on stage. Don't even tell me that. Yeah. Because I never saw her. I did. I saw her do a show on the Lower East Side. There was like 25 people in the audience. I went on a.

No, it wasn't three years ago. It was. It was your freshman year of college. It was my freshman year of college. I was on a date with a girl. And I saw Joan Rivers do stand up. And she was still working out jokes. She was in her, I guess, 80s. 70s, 80s. Late 70s. she was still working out jokes. She was in her what, I guess 80s? 70s, 80s.

Late 70s. Still working out jokes. Joan Rivers said she was like, I was at, you know, I go out to lunch with these old Hollywood actresses who are beauties in their day and we walk out and the paparazzi say, can you please move so we can get a picture of Joan? She goes, comedy will keep you alive

forever. Yeah. And she is right. I don't even know how I fell into stand-up comedy. I mean, comedy will keep you alive forever. Yeah. And I, she is, she is right. I don't even know how I fell into stand-up comedy. I mean, I should be drawing for a living, but, like, part of me is happy that I'm doing comedy, because it's, like, at least maybe that will keep me sharp forever. You've got, I mean, you've got, like, you know, a post to, like, that you

can go and touch, and, like, so that you can, like, be in the, sort of, the comedy camp for a little bit, and then, inevitably, you'll end up Comedy is the world I feel most most i've always felt a little outside of every circle group i've ever been in i always feel little on the outside or not accepted comedy is the first place that i feel totally accepted and i think it's because you know i'm with these stand-up comedians every night who are weirdos they're weird weird people, you know? And it's just the first place I've ever, like,

that's why I love comedy, too, is because I feel like I finally have a home. Like, after 30 years, I'm like, oh, I finally have a group of people who likes me for being me. I don't have to feel insecure, you know, all these things. Totally. You, I think, hit me with the best joke I've heard in, like, maybe two or three years.

You went off on this tirade about Rachel Ray and her blowjob voice. I just loved it because I was always like thinking, what is it about Rachel Ray? And I'm like, okay, yeah. Once you said it, I was like, yeah, it's her blowjob voice. Yeah. Beef jerky BJ blowjob. She just, I mean, that show is so stressful.

I can't think of anything. She is stressful. And she set a precedent for the Food Network to be the most stressful network on television. I don't want to see a meal made in 30 minutes. I don't want to watch a pudgy, little Italian woman who can barely reach the counter run around with a

clock countdown behind her as if a bomb's gonna go off. I mean, they might as well have sniper lights on her head while she's trying to get her EVO. When you have to shorten olive oil, it's a bad show. And she's like, okay. And name a meal right now. Name a meal of hers that's been good.

Name one. Oh, my God. Because you can't. I don't know. Does she even do signature meals? It's all burnt chicken. I mean. Here's how you burn chicken.

She does like lasagna in a mug. Rachel, no. here's how you burn chicken she does like lasagna in a mug Rachel no I mean listen listen if you were in the 80s and you were in a coma and you woke up and you saw Rachel you would say ah the gremlins but I mean it's like first of all I just think like cooking is not supposed to be this thing that's supposed to be stressful and get it done

fast and I mean I grew up in a house where my mother forced me, my brother, and sister to cook with her every night. And I loved it. We would make pizza dough. We'd put this together, then it has to rise, and so you wait till it rises, and you go back, and then it's risen, and it's exciting for the kids, or you make meatballs or sauce. I mean, it's

supposed to be this thing that's like a cultural pass down, or something that's like full of love, or something that's not supposed to be like marketing rush through it yes now are you the kind of italian that could never set foot in an olive garden oh i've gone to olive garden a few times in my life a few times i think that trump is the olive garden of presence there you go that's that that reads that makes sense to me dave mizzoni he won't even go on an olive i mean i if i would never choose to go to an olive garden i mean i'm a snob in all sense when it comes to pizza and good red sauce yes i'm a snob when it comes to those if you want good

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and they are linked back to a lineage, a tradition that, you know what, you can't sully. And for the people who do, then they get read for filth. That's beautiful. Matteo, I love that. Oh, thank you.

That's so nice of you. You know what, because I feel like a fucking fraud whenever someone's like, what's a great, I mean, first of all, people who come up to me and don't know me and who are like, what's a good dim sum place? I'm like, fuck off. But I don't know. I know.

People ask me, what's a good pizza, Italian place? Sure. And I say, I mean, I'm not, I say, Robalta. Yeah. I also had to seek that when I came to New York because I had my haunts in Chicago. Well, every Sunday night was my Aunt Cindy's house. But then we had a place called Fellini, which is the people are from the exact same town in Sicily my grandpa's from, which is like 400 people. It's called Montevago, if anyone's been there.

And so that was like a place I would go to in Chicago for good red sauce. And it was essentially my family's cooking because we're from the same area of Italy. But when I came to New York, I had to have my good sauce. So I had to seek that. There's another good Sicilian place called Piccolo Cucina on Prince and Spring. And it's all Sicilians who work there. And they've got great, it's sort of like a tapas but Sicilian. Piccolo Cucina, Prince and Spring, and it's all Sicilians who work there. And they've got great, it's sort of like a tapas, but Sicilian.

Piccolo Cucina, a cute kitchen? Like little kitchen. Little kitchen. Little kitchen. Little kitchen. Piccolo Cucina. Yeah, this is kind of reminding me of how whenever anyone asks me,

excuse me, do you know where the nearest McDonald's is? I can always tell them. But you're a Greek. Sudi and I were literally. You're a Greek descent. Yeah, but the thing is though, Matteo, I'm not connected to that Greekness. Like, it's so funny.

Which is rare for Greeks. He's like, Greek, Greek, Greek. You're Greek. Well, his face, when they have drawings. I look very Greek. When they have drawings of a Greek profile, those different Mediterranean's themselves from Egypt to Italy share common traits.

Our eyes, our noses. But this face from the side is literally what you see in Greek statues. It's a gold nose. The flat nose that goes down like this and then the chin

that comes out like that and then the big almond eyes. I mean, you literally are a Greek face. I have a very Greek way about me. The thing is, I wish I was more Greek in terms of percentage.

I'm like, it's like 40%. That's The thing is, I wish I was more Greek in terms of percentage. I'm like, it's like 40%. That's pretty significant. But like, I wish I could like commit to something. Like it's not, I'm like arguing

with my own background. I'm culturally half Italian, but I'm really only a quarter. Oh, okay. Because the other quarter is Mexican. Yeah. And then my dad's Irish.

See, but even like, I don't know any of the Greek language. No, you don't. You don't speak Malacca. You I don't know any of the Greek language I wish I saw my big fat Greek wedding and I was like yeah I get this that was my childhood

I was like that's cause everyone gets this but also like people that really got it really got it that is my childhood that's a great movie it's a great movie

I revisit my mom is my mom's real dad is great movie. It's a great movie. I revisit. My mom is, my mom's real dad is Mexican, but he left. So here's the story on him. Come on, story. Joaquin Maldonado. I have an uncle who's younger than me because he had so many kids outside of the marriage. So my mom's one of seven, but actually she's probably one of like 18, but the seven that she knows um five of them are

italian mexican and my grandpa had was a hitman in the mafia so his job but he was like a low-end guy so he like if you owed money he'd break your legs so he would like he was such a horrible father he would leave the house for like months at a time my mother had a horrible childhood she was essentially raised by her grandparents from it. But my grandpa had another family and named those kids the same name as my grandma's kids. Oh, my God. So he wouldn't confuse them. Oh, my God. That's insane.

Yes. So my mom, when she was 12, they got a divorce. And then my grandma remarried a Sicilian who was blind, but he's a judge. And he's got a whole other fascinating story. Oh, my God. Sicilian who's blind but he's a judge and he's got a whole other fascinating story so my mom lost all connection to her Mexican grandparents her cousins her everyone Mexican in her life my grandma just shut them out which is the most unhealthy way to deal with

something but so technically that's so extreme and my grandma was I mean she was in the 50s that's what I'm saying I don't fully blame her either my mom reconnected with her father when she was in the 50s. It was an extreme situation. I mean, she had two families. That's what I'm saying. I don't fully blame her either. My mom reconnected with her father when she was 30. She sought him and her sister sought him and my grandma, when she found out, was

furious. And they fought real long and hard about that. But my mom sat down with her real dad and asked them every question. She said he owned up to everything and he apologized. And when he died up to everything. And he apologized. And when he died, they went to his funeral.

And nine other brothers and sisters came up. With the same names? Yeah. Because my mom's real last name is Maldonado, which is a Mexican name. But it changed to Pomaro. And my grandma somehow got her birth certificate changed. That is the most Italian shit I've ever seen in my entire life. My mother's birth certificate changed from Cheryl Maldonado to Cheryl Pomaro.

I don't know how the fuck she did that. You can do it. God bless. No, they change them. That's insane to meet someone that literally has your name because your father had another family. There's another literal. To him, father had another family. There's another literal to him, there was another you. There's another Sherry Maldonado, a Cindy Maldonado, a Deborah

Maldonado, a Joaquin. That's gotta fuck with your head. And my grandma, I shouldn't be saying anything it's my grandma, I have an uncle Jack his birth name is Joaquin Maldonado. My grandma changed it to Jack Pomaro. God bless this grandmother of yours. Well my grandma you should have her on this show. What's her culture sound like?

My grandma, well, she wears a house coat. She doesn't stop running. She's 81. She's obsessed with pop culture. You could call my grandma right now. She could tell you anything you want to know about pop culture. She knows everything about sports because my grandpa's blind, so she has to read the sports section to him.

So now my grandma knows the trading and all that other stuff um she is my grandma's fascinating i talk to my grandparents probably twice a week oh wonderful wait where is she in chicago nice beautiful chicago boy um mateo lane we don't talk about chicago enough i feel like you've like fully like left that behind but is or is that not fair to say no no you're're right, in a way. Yeah, okay. I think I was... I love that I come from Chicago. Yes. And Chicago is such a beautiful city. And what an amazing city to grow up in.

I mean, just culturally and the... I mean, everything about it. I went to school there. I went to school at the Art Institute of Chicago. Prestigious. Very... Best art school in the country. Come on.

Snap. And I almost didn't go to college. I was so horrible in high school. I hate that that holds people back. What were you like in high school? High school, I was, every day I would come home and cry. I was made fun of constantly. I was a loser.

I was just full of shame. And in therapy, I'm really working because the one thing my biggest thing in life is just needing to be liked by people and I had such a struggle with that my entire life that everything from my physical appearance to inside I am

constantly still trying to shed those feelings. What did they say about you in high school? Faggot and make fun of me and laugh at me. To the point where I had I knew what

hallways to walk and what periods to avoid certain people. It was I remember and I tried to do choir and I tried to do show choir and I was so I couldn't handle I tried to do show choir, and I was so, I couldn't handle, I mean, now I have a good sense of humor, and that came from years of, I mean, you know, but it just took such a long time to get over caring what people think about

me, and it still to this day, it stings. I was in Ohio two weeks ago. I got called faggot three times in a day. God. Just be, who? Well, I was wearing a boa. No, stings. I was in Ohio two weeks ago. I got called faggot three times in a day. God. Just be who? I was wearing a boa. No, it's not the faggot. Just while you were on stage?

I was going to Starbucks. I got what was called a drive-by faggot. So I'm standing there, and it just sounded like faggot. I know. It really hurts. It sticks with you so much. In fact, I'm not going to lie. A lot of the way that i've

chosen to dress over the past five or six years are are subconsciously always in my mind i'm like well i don't want to be called faggots like gays always i can't wear this i mean that is something that gay people think about that that and i'm sure women deal with obviously in a different way what am i gonna wear exactly with with gay men it's different than it is with women. But for me, it's specifically, like, how can I butch up? And I always say this. I always make fun of the Hell's Kitchen gays about this, but I'm guilty of it, too. How can I best dress up like the guys that made fun of me in high school

so that I look like them so they won't target me today? I have a group of friends that I've found over the past year that are – they're not comedy related except Bob but like they're just so wonderfully like my friend Patty. Bob the drag queen. Bob the drag queen. My friend Patty is I'm like my heart

swells when I think of Patty. He's 5'5", long red hair, walks around the winter. He lives in Washington Heights and has a giant fur coat and doesn't give a shit and smokes and just, what called? I mean, he, I mean, they just, they're just living their,

that's like my inspiration. You know what's so funny? How much time do we have? Plenty. We have time. Okay, so, I was talking about this today with my therapist about how when I'm on stage I'm still struggling like last time I did Hartford Connecticut so the majority

of the audience doesn't know who I am and they are straight I mean I perform for straight people every single night and I'm still coming out of the closet right I'm still dealing with my sexuality and I and you know it's crazy I did okay so I've done, I've technically done two late night sets. Yes. Only one of them aired. Oh, yes!

I did. I know about this. It fills me with rage every time I'm reminded of this. Two years ago, I did a late night set, and we will not name who it is, because I, whatever, I guess that's the appropriate thing to do. And for two months, you know,

they call you first and say, we want to work with you and get you on late. And I said, awesome. And then you work out your material and blah, blah, blah. And we figured out a set. We've gotten down perfectly. Sent in the transcripts and. Pick out what you're wearing.

Yes. Oh, yes. I might have a knot in my stomach saying this story right now. And it's not a pity me, but it's a whatever. I did the show. I flew out. I filmed it. I did the show. And then they say pity me but it's a whatever um i did the show i flew out i filmed it i did the show and then they say we'll air it like a week later two days later i got a call from the producer and she said that in the way she i could find her finding her words i could hear her finding her words she my opening joke was i sing opera and then I say that's how it came out to my dad.

And she goes, well, we love your first joke. We'll say his name is Tom. Tom loves your first joke. But we feel, we think, we feel that you should just stray away from that for the rest of the set. And I said, what do you mean? The set's already taped. Yeah. And she goes well no they

want me to come back to refilm oh my god and i said um okay i said well what you know can i i knew what this was going yeah so i was testing her so i said well can i talk about dating well we would you know i think that we would just feel comfortable if you just you know we want to see the fun mateo we want to just see the different side of Mateo, you know, and let's not hit the same point over and over again. Fun for them. And I said, well, can I talk to my brother? You know, I just feel that Tom thinks that we would, we would, it would really be in

our best interest if we would just avoid that topic. Let's get it out up front and then let's just move on to other things. And so I called my manager and and her and i got into a fight and then i said no i'm not gonna do it and it sent me into here's what i'm happy it happened strangely enough one a year later on august 25th the exact same day i did seth myers who had the same day and no one had any they were so wonderful they were like do whatever you want i mean they i didn't I got not a single note. They said, do whatever the fuck you want.

It's a great set. Yes. Oh, thank you. But yes, it was great that I could say what I wanted to. But at the time, I think a year, I think it was, how long ago? It was August 25th, not that time, but a year and a half ago. Yeah, yeah. I was in such a bad place mentally.

I think as a comic, I got a lot early. And it swells your head with the wrong idea of what's important. And so at that time... Succeeding earlier in your career. Correct. At that time, the focus was credits mean everything. Credits mean everything. This means everything.

And I became obsessed. And when that thing happened with tom and that late show i crumbled because i didn't know what was important to me replacing a lot on that and it was also dealing with everything from my sexuality to my identity to everything about high school i mean all those demons came back up right but at but at that point, it's like, that's on them. That's not necessarily on you thinking, oh, well, credits mean everything, but it's absolutely, I mean, you got that success

based on your merit alone. It's on them, but they're in power, and that's what's frustrating, and that's the unique predicament of it. It's like, I know this is wrong, and you know what? I can tell in the timbre of your voice that you know this is wrong.

Oh, yes, oh, yes. And yet we're still doing this. This woman knew she was wrong, and Tom knows he's wrong. I actually think, though, because what's funny is, like, right after that, I had gotten a ton of road work with Lisa Trager. And so every weekend, her and I were out on the road. And she's, like, a Russian immigrant refugee tough cunt. And she did not let me feel sorry for myself.

And she really helped me focus, and other people too in my life, obviously, but Lisa was a main factor of, now I feel so different. I feel like my main focus is, the most important thing are relationships and nurture the friends in your life that really mean something to you

because that's the most important thing. And number two, care about what you're talking about on stage. Being on stage, care about the things you're saying. Care about that. Make sure the work is good. Everything else, it doesn't matter. Because, you know, Lisa brought up a good point to me, too, because a lot of people get stuff or someone gets this or someone gets that.

And it's, you know, Lisa goes, the Macarena was a hit at one time. Yeah. Now, you know, are you, is this a was a hit at one time. Now, you know, is this a race or are we in it for the long run? You know, I plan on doing this the rest of my life. So I don't care if so-and-so does this

or if so-and-so does that. I'm still doing this. And that was something that never occurred to me. And so I think the past year has been a huge shift in my perspective mentally of what is important to me

and what the outlook on life should be. But even when I met you, probably, I was in that... And I can see some other comedians now who are in that mentality. And it's a prison. I'm not saying I'm better for it, but I still struggle with these things.

But at least I'm working hard to move past it. I think it's more difficult for you guys in the stand-up world I really do. I think that's why you see a lot of comedians coming out later in life a lot of people that are doing stand-up right now that are closeted that are very successful. I know a very famous

closeted gay comedian. But the thing is I think in the world of sketch and in the world of improv and the kind of like UCB community it's more insulated it so that is one thing is you feel like oh I'm not really getting what it's like to perform for like an audience of people in Midtown like you are but it also feels more safe I mean it's very safe for the gay community i think it's very safe for the most part for women and for you know racial minorities um but then you step you take one step out and it's the stand-up world and it is more vicious audiences are more unforgiving yeah people i think some comedians

some non-stand-up comedians see the way I behave sometimes towards audiences and think that I am, like, vicious, like, spitting venom sometimes. But listen, girl, there are three, there are four stand-up gay men doing it in the city. Yeah. And only two of us doing clubs. And first of all, like, Joel. Now, I don't ever see Joel. And the reason is you can't put two gay people On the same lineup Which sucks

Because then I don't get a chance To see my friends So Joel and I never see each other Two totally different sets Two completely different people And you know People can't disassociate The gay thing

They see me and Joel And say Ah they're both gay We're gonna hear the same thing Don't book them And so Joel and I never see each other And I'm literally Sometimes in a true I've been chased out By Turkish guys They're both gay. We're going to hear the same thing. Don't book them. And so Joel and I never see each other.

And I'm literally out sometimes in a true – I've been chased out by Turkish guys, four Turkish guys who called me a faggot at a show. Oh, my God. Well, it was 1 o'clock in the morning. And, of course, listen, stand-ups are not soft people. My friends are. These people are. There are some. So you got into it with them? Oh, yes.

I said, really? I said, I'm the faggot. I'm pretty sure it's one o'clock in the morning on a Saturday and I'm seeing four men together at a table and not a woman to be found watching a gay man perform on stage. Who's the faggot now? They chased me out. I had to go through the kitchen to get out. I've been heckled at

most shows I'm heckled. Most shows people say something gay, something homophobic. And every night I get on stage and I say who is gay? And maybe a hand goes up. So I'm performing. But gay men also don't. That's different from what we experience. Gay men do not.

And listen, no sad song for me. No. I love my life and I love these shows. You got more money than us too, bitch. Well, that's up for debate. But, you know, like gay men also have a real problem with gay men performing. That's not in drag or not a go-go boy. Yeah, talk a little bit about that.

Well, Joel and I actually just, Joel texted me the other day. We were chit-chatting about that because, I mean, I did an AIDS event once in Chicago and got booed off the stage. I can't. Well, I let them have it. Well, I hope so. First of all, I performed at a place that used to be called Manhole. Secondly, I was doing this show. It was a benefit for AIDS.

And they would have like crochet jockstraps on porn stars. And then they had the porn stars go up first. So there's sex, sex, sex for 15 minutes. And then they did an intermission. And then they all come back. And then they go, okay, now comedy. And I go on stage. I'm on stage for two minutes struggling to get anyone's attention.

No one's listening to me. And so I is anyone gonna listen and this one guy yells he goes yeah we'll listen if you put on a jock strap and so then I go off then I say oh I get it because I'm not Kathy Griffin or the ghost of Joan Rivers you assholes don't give a shit about me I said but you you won't support your own performers but you'll support that weekend at Bernie's in Vegas called Britney Spears and then they started booing but then i doubled down i was like and christina's a cunt i'm sure you're all masked tops and you can all fuck off and i did six minutes and was the sound of 200 gay men booing you is one i'll never forget wow and i get off stage and i walk and i go into the green room where there's seven porn stars staring at me like i made the wrong choices in life. I mean, it was a night. I was thinking yesterday, actually,

about why RuPaul's Drag Race is such a sensation. It's one of the only ways that gay men can become stars. Think about that. Like, there are very few gay men who are, like, actual stars. I mean, you got Neil Patrick Harris, you got Matt Bomer, and then, like, whatever, you could list Patrick Harris, you got Matt Bomer, and then, like, whatever.

You could list the rest. And they're becoming more, but that's because they're so fucking incredibly hot. Their Instagram, like you call them, lobotomy fags. What's a lobotomy fag? Just those Instagram models, Mattia, you know these people that are so dumb. They've come

from a lobotomy. You know what's so funny is, like, I have a whole joke that are so dumb. They've come from a lobotomy. Yeah. Wait. You know what's so funny is like, I have a whole joke on this right now where it's like gay men are, first of all, they don't even give gay roles to gay people. They give those to straight people.

Yep, it's so frustrating. And number two, our only other options are robots. Every robot's been gay. First of all, C-3PO, R2's a lesbian. She came with a tool belt. WALL-E listened to the

Barbra Streisand version of Hello Dolly. Oh my god. And Michael Fassbender in Alien. And Ash from the original Alien died in a bukkake. I mean,

that's our only option is we're robots. You saw the new Alien where he kisses himself? Just so stupid. Awful. So stupid. But I loved it,

but awful. I loved it too, but all that Joel and I saw together, we were like, we hate this movie. It was an awful movie. It was an awful movie.

I saw it with Amber Nelson. Amber would have paid to see it. Oh, to watch it with both of you. First of we hate this movie. It was an awful movie. I saw it with Amber Nelson. Amber would have paid to see it. To watch it with both of you. First of all, when you want to go to a scary movie, you go with Amber Nelson. Because literally, one time we went to go see Annabelle. Remember that dumb movie about the fucking doll? Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Amber talks. Amber talks! Oh, she gets real quiet, right? And Amber in a full theater will just go, oh, fuck. I mean, she gets so into it. It's great. It's great.

Oh, fuck. I can hear that. Okay, but no, it's like what you were just saying, Matt, and it was what Mateo was just saying, and it's what Guy Branum says all the time. It's that unless you're a drag queen, a go-go boy, you're a fucking porn star, gay men do not care about you. And that's so frustrating.

Let me just say, I think through my experience so far and I think it's like me and James who's been putting in the work for a long time Guy Branum, Julio, Joel you know in the world of stand up I'm just talking stand up specific here we are putting in the work and I hope that we're being shown you know like

late night sets and half hours and specials and it's slowly becoming more acceptable and I'm. It's slowly becoming more acceptable. And I'm finding that audiences are also more open to hearing about my life and curious. Yes. And I find that a lot of men do not know gay people in their lives that they're friends with. And I'm opening a door for these people to show them a little bit into our world. And to also hopefully

show that we're more alike than we are different. I try to bridge that gap as much as I can in my stand up. But you're an ambassador to them. You're an ambassador to them. And then you, Guy, Joel, James, you know, Julio, John, you guys are blazing the trail. It's beautiful to see. It really is. And I think the good thing, too, is all of us of us are friends and i mean we may not talk every day but i love these tim dylan is a big one tim um yeah i and frank liotti you know there's a group of us who are doing it and they're not doing it in just the gay scene and there's nothing wrong with that but we're i mean yeah it's and it's great and a lot of times you know i got criticism from older comics when I first came out because I was getting a lot. And people would say, oh, how did you find your voice so quickly?

And I said, well, gay people were forced to find our voices when we were 13 years old. We were suffering from demons. And you're talking about staples. You know what I mean? It's like it's a different thing. It's a different thing. You had to just develop that sensibility as a defense mechanism. You really did. That's what

Patty Harrison says all the time, and I really think about that a lot. Wait, I just want to go back to this whole Tom debacle, but I remember in the weeks leading up to that first set recording, the three of us were at Kellogg's Diner in Williamsburg. We were in the section, and we had a

waitress with the goofiest fucking voice I've ever heard. And the worst mac and cheese. And the worst mac and cheese. Oh, my God, yes. Do you remember this waitress? I remember her. Did she talk like this? Yeah.

She came over and he made, okay. It was really. Okay, you want some mac and cheese? Yeah. Okay. And then she flew through a wall. No, I don't think she ever said illegible. Like, not legible.

Intelligible. Yeah, intelligible. You know what I mean? I don't think that there was ever a moment where I really was confident in knowing what she was saying. No. And neither was she. And it wasn't a language thing. I want to say it was not a language thing. It was a specific voice.

The voice. Oh, okay. Okay. It was just Beaker. It was Beaker from the Muppets. Wow, I'm so happy you brought that back into my mind. I remember that. And I remember we ordered mac and cheese without bacon.

They brought bacon. And they brought bacon with little cheese shredded things. Also, don't order the mac and cheese at Kellogg's down to you guys. It's so bad. And Lisa one time was like, you said it was the best in the city. I was like, you obviously heard me wrong, and I have multiple eyewitnesses to prove it otherwise. It's bottom of the barrel bad. It's literally what you get at the fucking Dwayne Reed.

There you go. We can corroborate this for Matteo. On behalf of Matteo, too, Lisa. Matteo, Matt, and I hated it. We can talk about Maria Callas. I love this whole thing. No, no, no. We can talk about Maria Callas.

I don't want to take up your guys' time. I feel like I'm wasting everyone's time. No, no. This has been gorgeous. Let's talk for a second about Maria Callas. It doesn't have to be the lecture. I mean, in order to see the lecture on Maria Callas, you have to seek out Mateo.

Single, single. Pay $800 for an eight-week class on Maria Callas. Maria Callas, 201. 201. Yeah. Okay, so give us the primer. A bridge. The abridged version.

Tell us who she was, because the children are not going to know who Maria Callas is. Tell us who she was. Briefly, I'll keep know who Maria Callas is. Tell us who she was. Briefly, I'll just I'll keep it very brief. Maria Callas was an opera singer American born, Greek descent moved back to Greece

during the war had to learn at the conservatoire in Greece and sell things to the black market in order to keep her family alive. That's my favorite part about it. She also went in

when she was supposed to be 18. She was a big girl so she lied. She was 13. She learned early. She learned from a coloratura soprano and Maria had a big heavy voice but she learned it's almost like avatar the last airbender like

firebenders who learn waterbending moves it's like she was a firebender who learned waterbending and was more fluid that's the baby paparazzi also learned how to breathe from a coloratura soprano and that's why he was so fluid he learned from joan sullivan she taught him how to breathe that's why paparazzi could do trills which for a man to do trills is like that's insane a man trilla? she was a big fat singer had a huge range

could sing anything for the female voice and she married this old fart named Meneghini who was this Italian businessman and then she lost a hundred pounds in less than a year and became the fashion icon of the world and had...

Jennifer Hudson. Yes. But she had a lot of controversy in her life. She had a lot of controversy in her life. She left her husband for Onassis and they had an affair and then she left her career and then, you know, she got thrown out of the Rome Opera one night

and this whole hubbub and then Onassis destroyed her because then she married Onassis, she stopped singing, so she lost all the great muscles for opera that you need. And then she got pregnant by him and he said,

you have me or the baby, so she had an abortion. Then he married Jacqueline Kennedy behind her back after she got pregnant by him and he said, you have me or the baby. So she had an abortion. Then he married Jacqueline Kennedy behind her back. What? After she got an abortion for him. Then she went back and did Tosca and it was a success.

But then she just sort of shriveled in her French apartment, her Paris apartment. And when Onassis died, she barely left her apartment again for the rest of her life and died at age 53 in 1977. Oh, this has to be a story we all know.

Is there a movie? They were going to do a movie of Masterclass, which I don't like that play because it doesn't represent who Maria Callas was because she did teach Masterclass at Juilliard and I've listened to all of them. And she is a musical genius. Wow.

Genius. Who would you cast in the role of Maria Callas? Someone who's Mediterranean Greek looking. They wanted... Meryl Streep is not, Maria is no, not, I mean,

the physicality of her is really important because she had giant eyes, giant nose. She was beautiful, but she was just this total Mediterranean woman.

Yeah. And you can't get someone with soft features in there. You need like a young Liza, maybe. I don't know. I have the same eyes as Liza Minnelli.

And they're beautiful, like just giant. Sleepy. No, but they're not, they're just slanted in this gorgeous way. Mine's slant down like this. Which is Liza. Yeah, it's a southern Italian trait. I love it. People in southern Italy, we all have the same eyes. Our eyes go

down like this, they wrap around like that, and it's a heavy eyelid, and people always think I'm high or tired. Like, are you tired? And I have to say, I'm wide awake. This is just how I look. This is just how I tired. Like, are you tired? And I'd say, I'm wide awake. This is just how I look. This is just how I look. Resting, resting. Wait, who?

I can't even think of an actress that fits that. I'm sure there's someone. There's got to be someone, but not off the top of my head, I can't think. You need someone strong. You know, Maria. And Maria was a total diva, by the way. I mean, when she was interviewed, they're like, what do you think of your rivals? And she goes, oh, I don't mean to correct you but i don't have rivals she was she was quite a diva she's she basically

started how the way we sort of look at these glamorized divas i love that very similar to judy garland and just the operatic judy garland sure sure not drug addicted though there you go oh i was but lost her voice oh yeah and there's a video of her singing Non Piumesta. And this is in 1962. And she was trying to come back. She could sing at a mezzo voice. She did a recording of Carmen. So her voice with Carmen was great because it's just for a mezzo soprano.

But when she tried to get back into those coloratura, quick embellishments, there's a video of her her and she was doing some good chromatic skills down. At the very end, she tries to go up. I think the note was only like an F. And she had this giant wobble to her voice. Literally like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

It was bad to watch her voice just plummet. It's so awful that this seems to happen a lot with these like not patty but like it's so frustrating that it seems to happen a lot like very few of them john happy john early and i talked about this in depth one day and we decided that we like it because hear me out hear me out we need tragic figures hear me out Mariah Maria Whitney they are Judy they are a Judy are a big flash that goes out

quickly home where is someone like Beyonce is just consistently good but Beyonce is not that same Whitney whoosh you know like just like you hear her singing you think you know like this like you hear her singing you think you know like this tragedy Beyonce is just so good at everything but it's not the same

like yeah yeah yeah and John really said it's gotta be something about that flash when Maria Kallis is the same way when she's saying

no one had ever heard a voice go above an E at full voice no one had ever heard a mezzo studio color retort no one ever heard a singer who can act.

No one ever heard of a fashion. All these things she was doing, this big flash in the pan, and then sets the standard for the rest of everyone else in that career, but then just done. Wow. I mean, I think there is something to that, to what you and John were saying, because I think it's like, when the flash

happens and everyone starts getting in on it, they're like, we're in on this while it's happening. I don't know, maybe there is something to that where it's like when the flash happens and everyone starts getting in on it, they're like, we're in on this while it's happening. I don't know. Maybe there is something to that where it's like we're witnessing this. It might not last forever. And we're witnessing something new. I'm witnessing something that's never been heard before. That's the crazy thing you have to explain to people is the sounds you hear from singers today

come from singers like Judy and Barbara. You know what I mean? Like Barbara in the 60s, no one had ever heard someone sing like that before. She was doing shows in men's clothing with Egyptian eye makeup, long fingernails, eating baked potatoes on the stage,

and speaking French and Italian to the audiences, and then singing like you wouldn't even believe. I love that. And people didn't know that sound. I love that. They'd never heard that sound before. Is there anyone who's coming close today for you? Is there anyone doing anything new?

It's okay. Jennifer Hudson blows me away when I listen to her sing. But she's not that magnetic personality. She's a bit of a dud. She's gotten better, I think, at really believing what she sings. I just saw her do a performance on The voice and it was a shit song it was like it was a song some some stupid song i don't even know what it was called something like i remember me it was like i think the producers are more important than the artists now yeah and so then that need for that type of

singer doesn't exist anymore it's a shame a shame because you give her material where she can really show her gift and everyone's blown away. But also, that's a frustrating story because Jennifer Hudson, famous for Dreamgirls, when you really go back and you watch the Jennifer Holliday performance on the Tonys. Oh. That's a true moment in time. That is untouchable. Yeah. I mean, it's so brilliant and that's the thing is like no one has the opportunity to do that you know who i love is a singer i'm gonna play two seconds of her voice because i think you'll really like it i i love

singers that are i'm so italian i love singers that I have to, it's so extreme. And that's why I love Mariah because it's extreme. As high as you can get. There is a singer named Cleo Lane who's now in her 80s and she's British, but she's half Jamaican, so she's got this beautiful fro hair and this sort of deep deep olive skin and she has

this weird sound, she's a jazz singer, weird sound, her voice is very muffled shoulder phone to her voice as she sings about down here but she has a five octave range so this is an example I'll just play some like like yeah yeah this is just like her normal voice like you'll hear like the low sound. One second. Yes. Very kind of like...

Almost like Shirley Bassey. Sulfuric. Yeah. And then the very end. Okay. Crazy. Cleo Lane? Okay Crazy Cleo Lane Cleo Lane L-A-I-N-E

Oh I was gonna say Maybe she's related That was a teach the children moment Teach the children Yes guys Get on Cleo Lane Go look up her music She is

She's got these She's in her 80s now She's in her 80s She still sounds good Amazing She said she'll stop singing When she gets a wobble, and she hasn't gotten a wobble yet.

Wait, I just want to bring this up. Today I listened to some old Judy. I think Cottage for Sale. She does this live version of it. It's so good. It's so good. What did you think of the Tonys last night? I didn't watch them.

Did you? No, I was on a bus. Sorry. I mean, honestly, there was nothing that happened. I can't believe Bette Midler did not perform. I can't believe she did not perform. It's so frustrating. Well, she's up there.

She's up there, but she's doing it every night. It's not about age. It's entirely about they didn't want to work it out or money or ego or whatever, and that's the one night a year you have to show the rest of the world what's happening on Broadway to sell it

because people need to save it from going under. Well, I told her I would go sing for it. But she said no. Liza, they sent David Hyde Pierce in your steed. Or that faggot. Who are the singers that make you cry

because the only singers that can make me cry are Judy specifically a performance of her singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow when she was in the hobo outfit

in like 1961 and Maria Kels those are the only two singers that make you cry oh boy this is very difficult female singers any singer um okay this is such a lame answer Those are the only two singers that make you cry. Oh, boy. This is very difficult. Female singers? Any singer.

Okay, this is such a lame answer, but not just because of his cover of Hallelujah. Jeff Buckley. He has this whole live set from this venue called Cine. It's beautiful. And then, God, maybe Celine. I love Celine. I love Celine. I love Celine.

Celine can stir up any emotion in me. What about you, Matt? I think that Celine certainly makes me feel many emotions. I think she's one of the most emotional singers we've ever had. And it is all for you. Yes, and it is. And we accept it. And I think that she's definitely a good answer.

I am very touched by Whitneyney and honestly like home murph griffin show her first oh yeah was she saying home yeah i will say you know who speaking of home the diana ross performance of home actually it's amazing really makes me very emotional she really told the story for me that was her at her best honestly the last time i cried at a singer and i really don't cry too much to music, I feel in other ways. I kind of get up on my feet and move around. That's kind of how I deal with my emotion when I'm really moved.

I'll cry at a Folgers coffee commercial. Yeah, I mean, I'm not a crier. I'm like a mover. I have to get up on my feet when I feel the spirit. But I cried when Kelly Clarkson sang on The Last American Idol. That's beautiful. I do love her. And I sometimes cry to a really, sorry about it, honest-to-God country singer. I cried when Kelly Clarkson sang on The Last American Idol. That's beautiful. I do love her. Yeah. Oh, I love her.

And I sometimes cry to a really, sorry about it, honest to God country singer. Any country singer that can really plant their feet. Well, I'll always sing it. But then again, I also think that's the lyrics. I think I'm very susceptible to a good storytelling song and really honestly delivered lyrics. And that's honestly something I think about myself as I really respond to lyrical content and storytelling. And that to me has to go hand in hand with the vocal performance.

Did you just pull that melody out of your ass? I love it. Okay, let's move on to, we got to do. I don't think so, honey. Um,

so just so you know, guys, if you're just tuning in good episodes, just tune in on y'all. Um, we do a little thing called, I don't think so, honey. We take one minutes of relevance culture, something that's, you know, just you're just tuning in good episodes just tune in on y'all um we do a little thing called i don't think so honey we take one minute to rail against culture something that's you know just not right with us not just not sitting right with us so bowen yang yep he shocked me today when he came in and said that he has one oh yes because usually not

super prepared for this god love him thank you are you ready i'm ready and i i'm not saying it's just because it's prepared it's going to be coherent, but we're going to go with that. That's fine. Okay. And Bowen Yang's I Don't Think So Honey time starts now. I Don't Think So Honey Facebook.com for putting a 24-hour ban on me posting and liking shit because someone reported me for posting a photo in front of the White House yesterday during the Equality March with pride flags everywhere, with just

anti-Trump signs. I captioned this photo, hashtag Equality March. Someone decided to report it for offensive language, so it was taken down. And look, it's not an automatic thing. Someone at Facebook, some fucking 25-year-old

dipshit wearing sea glasses at Facebook headquarters in Menlo Park, California, saw this post, saw this report, decided it was okay to give me a ban. I don't think so on Facebook.com. I don't think so on you bigots. I hope you bleed out of your fucking assholes for all I care. You don't like gay people. This is not the month to do it. On the day of the Orlando shooting of all days, have some respect, you pieces

of shit. You're done. I hate you. Move out of this country. I don't think so, honey. I'm sorry. That was got really real. I feel this so strongly. And I'm mad at Facebook. And today I was honestly like, I don't think I need this. You know, I have not posted on Facebook, I think, in a solid

year. I don't go on Facebook. Thank God. You don't need it. Although, Bowen, while you were speaking, a thought occurred to me. I wouldn't have been surprised if it was a gay that did that. I wouldn't have been surprised if it was. Because I was thinking, I don't know. You guys, it's a year since Pulse. I think that today, it's Pride Month.

I think Pride Month is amazing. It's an amazing time to be proud. But I also think it's a really good time to look within and check ourselves. And I think what you were saying before is really a thing. And gay people are cruel to each other. And I think it's great that we can all rally together for something like remembering Pulse and in the wake of Pulse and stuff like that. And I think Pride Month is more important now than ever. But I will say that that thought occurred to me. Okay. That someone could have seen the word fag because there's a lot of people in the gay community

that just don't want us saying it at all or have limits on people saying it. I'm sure in every community. I'm going to name my album Faggots Revisited. Yeah. Because it's that Eddie Murphy track. Yeah. I don't know.

It just occurred to me. Sometimes now I'm looking for homophobia from within as well. Oh, it's absolutely there. And need to we need to do that and like i love our community i love it i'm just saying and you know what it is it's whenever drag race winds down i think about this because they're so fucking cruel to those people oh like these these trolls these like young gays who don't get it i'm sure really young gays also young, young straight people who watch the show just because it's fun that don't get it. You know, I went to DragCon

and it was predominantly straight women who were there. I mean, there were a lot of gay men, but there was a lot of straight women there. Young straight women love Drag Race. Yeah, I was blown away by that. But I'm sure Bob has gone through the same sort of hateful speech.

I mean, it's just you put yourself out there and people want to tear you down. Oh, yeah. And even you've gone through this. But anyway. Oh, I mean, I was talking about Bob. Yeah, I mean, I get it. The first comment I ever got when I was on Guy Code was, get this faggot off MTV. That was the first tweet I got.

Awful, awful, awful. And, you know, this comment, I don't know why it stays with me, but Matt and I shot a video with Comedy Central one time. Some asshole commented. Never read the comments. Never read the comments. I know, I've learned this, and I truly don't anymore. But, like, because of this shit, like someone said,

would be better without Asian faggot. Yeah, listen. Thank you so much. And you know what, Bowen? That is that person's problem. Of course, of course. And I know, listen, and I'm only speaking from experience. You really, you guys are both super talented,

and you guys are both going to be very successful. And especially for you, people are going to be making racist comments. And I learned it from Joan three years ago. She was in an interview, and I stuck to it. She goes, if you're saying something negative, you're wasting your time. I'm not looking. Go ahead. Write all you want. Not looking.

And I thought, yeah. Because you know what? You'll never win. You'll never, ever, ever get everybody on your side. The best you can do is live your life and the best that you can do is be the true person that you can be. Listen, at the end of the day, you have two options.

One, you do what you want to do. You express yourself how you want to express yourself. Or two, don't and crawl into a hole and hide away from the world because you're afraid that someone's not going to like you. So listen, you're doing the right thing and people are gonna say all these awful horrible things don't look don't look I could

I mean I could cry right now it's thank you Mateo that's okay alright if you can't love yourself how in the hell you gonna love somebody else

well you just get some pills lies or no I feel shitty that I even have to do an I Don't Think So Honey right now but I'm gonna continue to come for the community

in my I Don't Think So Honey here we go here we go Matt Rogers I Don't Think So Honey right now, but I'm going to continue to come for the community in my I Don't Think So Honey. Here we go. Here we go. Matt Rogers, I Don't Think So Honey. This is a very self-critical I Don't Think So Honey. I'm looking within a lot these days. Been through a lot. Here we go.

And time starts now. I Don't Think So Honey Reddit. Bitch, you finally got me. I went on there, and I know everything that happens in that fucking finale of Drag Race. And I am so upset with myself. But you know what? Everything that happens in that fucking finale of Drag Race. And I am so upset with myself. But you know what? I also blame a lot of my friends who dangle and dangle and dangle the Reddit info in front of me.

And then you know what? I'm a curious motherfucking cat. And I have to look. I went and I looked and there was more revealed than I wanted to be revealed. And let me tell you, I'm gagged. But also I'm disappointed because I know. And I'm thinking to myself, fuck, with these Reddits, I don't think so, honey, with all these spoiler websites, with our, like, television culture nowadays, nothing can be enjoyed in the moment. And it's made the way I watch TV different.

I don't think so, honey. Reddit sites like you and you people on Reddit who don't put the spoiler at least ban over the words. And you know I'm going to touch it, but just put it there. Five seconds. Follow the rules, bitch. All you Reddit users. I hope that you don't enjoy anything ever again. And that's one minute.

Matt, you got to stay off Reddit just for any. Listen. I don't even know how to use Reddit. It's terrible. First of all, it's horrible to navigate. And then you get in there. It's like Snapchat. I don't know. I'll never do. First of all, it's horrible to navigate. And then you get in there. It's like Snapchat. I don't know. I'll never do it again.

I'll never do it again. And people on the Drag Race subreddit are vicious. They're horrible. Speaking of horrible. Ginger was sharing some of the things she was reading on Reddit. Oh, my God. I was like, Ginger, why are you reading that? Yeah.

Oh, no. She's got to get off. People are terrible to her. I didn't even know it existed, but she found a really funny meme someone made of her and I was running after her with a snowball. Because you never think it's going to be you, I'm sure. Totally, totally. I'm sure I'm on there.

I'm sure of it. Who knows? The thing is, when you're a queen that gets on Drag Race, you think, oh, my God, my life's going to change. You think, there's no way I'm going to be the villain, right? And then you fucking become the villain. And also, yeah, it is based on shit that you do but it's also a drag competition and you're supposed to be shady and a bitch it's fine if people don't really get what drag is they don't think they do

especially the young girls who love it there you go yeah that's okay okay it's time for material god now i feel like i don't want i don't i don't have this i can't what you told us before the show you don't have to do that one but but what you told us before we started recording, I thought was perfect, but you can do anything you want. Oh my God. Okay. Suddenly I'm so stressed out.

I'll try that one. I can't do the same energy levels. Don't. It's fine. It's fine. Five, four, three, two. Mateo, I don't think so. Honey, time starts now.

I don't think so, Kellyanne Conway. And here's the thing, as I know that she's like Mika from Morning Joe, which is my favorite show to watch, always says that she's like political porn, that these pundits bring her on and just have her argue and argue and argue and go in these circles. I just think that we better off if we could put her in season one of Fox is the Swan, a show where they took 19 women who honestly needed to blow out in a new jacket, but forced them to, in the months of invasive plastic surgery,

and shielded them from their families and mirrors, and then made them look exactly like the host of the show, and then forced them into a beauty pageant with the other women. I just think that the only reason Kelly Ann Comet could do it was one, get her in those bags she could smuggle children in with under her eyes, and just fix that face. And then two, we could hide. She could be out of our lives for at least six months.

And then she can come back and at least we could, you know, look at her. So that's it. So I just don't think so, Kellyanne Conway. There you go. That's one minute. That was how they were putting women on television at that time. I can't believe this. That show is so horrible.

But I would have watched 18 seasons of it. Have you heard about this Bachelor in Paradise garbage? No. So there was sexual misconduct. Apparently there could have been a sexual assault on the show and Bachelor in Paradise is now cancelled. They were filming for one day and the contestants got so fucking

wasted that something bad happened. And I'm like, like well what do you think what did you expect this is literally rape culture on television it's been like that I do you know literally the only shows that I watch on TV I wake up every morning I put on Morning Joe

I make my coffee I don't know why I like that show I listen to Howard Stern I watch The View I watch Wendy Williams and then that's it I I watched Zelda stuff on YouTube. I've been watching Zelda stuff on YouTube too! Like 99 things you didn't know about this game. 17 things you didn't know about this game.

Like fucking snowboarding on your shield. Do you watch that video where it's like here's Lon Lon Ranch from Ocarina of Time. Yes, and it's the exact same. It's the exact same layout and it's creepy as hell. So this is the exact same conversation that was happening before when i was like we got to start the episode i watch game run throughs of people beating my favorite games from when i was a kid they beat

it like in an hour and there's like a bunch of people around them and then like it's like some cancer benefit or something you guys are for real oh i love it something about this mateo um you have a show to go to after this but anytime you want this summer come over i got made i got my switch so we can play Mario Kart. We can play this new game, Arms. I also would just love to sit and play Zelda. Please, Zelda. And I would watch you play Zelda.

You would watch me. No, vice versa. That's my favorite thing, is to watch. When I grew up, all my cousins, my cousin Michael was the oldest, so he would play the video games, and me and all my other cousins would sit and watch and play video games. It's one of my favorite things to still do today. It's fantastic. And you guys at home can all come, too, and me and you guys will go smoke a bowl in the next room

while they play. There you go. Everyone listening is invited. Guys, we've had such an amazing episode. Guys, thank you so much for having me on the show. Thank you so much

for being on. You are truly a light. Really, seriously. One of the most talented people that we know. Oh, well. We love you so much. Thank you so much for coming.

Thank you. That's Matt Rogers. And that's Bone Yang over there. That's Mateo Lane. Bye, guys. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. over there. That's Matt Hale Lane. Bye, guys. Bye. Bye. Forever.

Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Joe Cilio, Alex Ramsey, and Brett Bohm. For more podcasts, please visit foreverdogproductions.com. Dog. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes.

We're spilling all the behind-the-scenes stories, crazy details, and honestly, just having a blast talking football. Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all times, from legends to our buddies to current stars. We're finally answering the age-old question, what kind of dudes are these dudes? We're going to find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season.

Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Cheryl Swoops. And I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women.

And T and I have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby, an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll.

This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. I was a desperate delusional dreamer. Be a delusional dreamer.

Just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida.

And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami? Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Do you ever wonder where your favorite foods come from? Like what's the history behind bacon-wrapped hot dogs?

Hi, I'm Eva Longoria. Hi, I'm Maite Gomez-Rejon. Our podcast, Hungry for History, is back. And this season, we're taking an even bigger bite out of the most delicious food and its history. Saying that the most popular cocktail is the margargarita followed by the mojito from cuba and the pina colada from puerto rico listen to hungry for history on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts