Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - "It's Family Episode" (w/ Greta Titelman)

Episode Date: October 20, 2021

The women who host this podcast welcome the ultimate human being Greta Titelman BACK to the show ahead of her Las Cultch and Big Money Players produced (!!!) character pod Stepmother: The Husband Hunt coming in early 2022. But, listen, if you want a podcast from Greta NOW? You're in luck! She's just debuted Senior Superlatives (presented by Headgum), which investigates the high school lives of Greta and her guests. Matt, Bow and Greta do a lil' bit of that here, as well as talk photoshop SHOP, review a recent trip to Halloween Horror Nights, and discuss being detail-oriented in work vs. life. All this, co-dependency culture, saying no, eavesdropping, candle maintenance, and engaging with people in your life who disagree with you over important subjects. ALSO: a tribute to chopsticks, Daniel Craig and "tributes" themselves ;-) lol teehee! Ya gotta listen to Senior Superlatives because... it's Greta! And no one's better. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City are back. I love that. I love that. Oh my gosh. Welcome. And last season's drama was just the tip of the iceberg. You're recording us? I am disgusted.

Never in a million years after everything we've been through did I think that you would reach out to our sworn enemy. We were friends. How could you do this to me? I don't trust her. The Real Housewives of salt lake city wednesdays at nine on bravo or stream it on city tv plus welcome to gracias come again a podcast by honey german where we get real and dive straight into todo lo actual y viral we're

talking musica los premios el chisme and all things trending in my cultura i'm bringing you all the latest happening in our entertainment world and some fun and impactful interviews with your favorite Latin artists, comedians, actors, and influencers. Each week, we get deep and raw life stories, combos on the issues that matter to us, and it's all packed with gems, fun, straight up comedia, and that's a song that only nuestra gente can sprinkle. Listen to Gracias Come Again on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Are actually besties in real life? And as all besties do, we navigate the highs and lows of life together. Big or small, we're there. And now here we are, opening up the friendship circle to you. Listen to Call It What It Is on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I'm NK, and this is Basket Case. What is wrong with me? A show about the ways that mental illness is shaped by not just biology. Swaps of different meds. But by culture and society. By looking closely at the conditions that cause mental distress, I find out why so many of us are struggling to feel sane, what we can do about it, and why we should care.

Oh, look at you giving me therapy, girl. Listen to Basket Case every Tuesday on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts look man oh i see my oh my oh look over there wow is that culture yes goodness wow las culturistas ding dong las culturistas calling listen in today's world where there's so many stories that have sad endings and sad, when you say there's a lot of sad news, I feel like it's sad news. And then you get to the end of the article or the new story or the clip and

you go, that's a sad ending. Oh my God. It's like, even if a story begins sad and sad, but, and this is sort of what brings me to this point. Like I,

we have a narrative on this podcast, which has now gotten a happy ending. And I would like to tell everyone what it is. Oh my God, what is this? I'm currently drinking an Elysian, an Elysian Night Owl Pumpkin Ale with a cinnamon sugar rim. Because the readers and Elysian Brewery, y'all really came through

for me after I said I was not in my autumnal vibe. And I had readers in my DM sending me suggestions, sending me the beers. Shout out to my sister, Chelsea Rogers is one of them. But when I tell you I have enough pumpkin ale for this year and next, I tell no lies. So that was just, I wanted to make everyone feel good Reader I facetimed with my sister the other week she opened up her fridge to show me the fully packed sardines

level shelf the flavor of the pumpkin beers the variety even y'all really came through and I really think it's I could cry actually. No joke. Well,

that's because you are in touch with me on a sister level. And you knew that how much it meant to me to get that pumpkin taste. And now that you've seen me inundated, my pores are sweating pumpkin. You feel happy. You do. I do. I haven't seen you this happy in a minute. I'm beaming.

You're beaming and it's sometimes all it takes. I'm not saying it's fully credited to the pumpkin beer, but you really need to get into the tumblefish. You know I'm a very tactile person. You know I sort of like live on the edge of my

tips of my fingers, you know. And I'm a very tactile person. You know, I sort of like live on the edge of my tips and my fingers, you know? And I'm doing a sort of spooky voice. I have like a spooky voice right now on the Zoom. But I love to get my things, you know? My little treats, my little creature comforts, if you will. But anyway, I just wanted to sort of let everyone in on that. God, it's really, I really do miss you. I miss you.

In autumn, I really feel like I was just talking to someone today and I was like, what do you, what do you do? What do you have coming up in the next couple of weeks? And he said, you know, I'm going upstate to watch the leaf change. I'm going to bring some hallucinogenics with me. And I thought, and I brought, it brought me back to that time. You, me, Sudi and Mo Frye Pasik went. And Bowen and Dave Mazzoni. Andasek went. And Dave Mazzoni. Yes, of course, Dave Mazzoni.

And then I recommended to him, I said, bring a fun puzzle, a fun jigsaw, because that's what we had. And we did our thing outside for a little bit, enjoyed nature, and then we went back inside to cook meals, to cook a meal. And music was on, and then we were all putting together this beautiful do you remember this puzzle i remember this puzzle very well it's actually one of i think two puzzles i've ever done in my life which is why i remember but what was on it the most beautiful like painting impressionistic painting of a girl with a with like a red backpack i forget what the painting it must be a famous painting. It looks so beautiful. It looks museum level.

Like it would be, you know. Yes. Hanging up somewhere. Yeah. Hanging up somewhere where you have to get in and pay admission to get in. Yes.

Not even pay admission if it's at the Met. Remember, it's a suggested. That's true. It's a suggested sort of admission. Free on Fridays. Free on Fridays.

Some building where it's free to Fridays to come in and there's a suggested admission. Yes. Anyway, I just, I miss you here on this coast Free on Fridays. Some building where it's free to Fridays to come in as a suggested admission. Yes. Anyway, I miss you here on this coast where there are seasons, you know, for better or worse. But someday soon we'll have our moment.

Well, luckily, the good news is I am returning come December. So by the time this episode drops, it will be public news. Do you want to talk about it? I am doing Have You Heard of Christmas Again, my yearly show. I am on tour with it all around the goddamn United States of America. Where are you going? Can you tell us?

Going to San Francisco, going to Chicago, doing two dates in Chicago, two dates in LA. We're going to DC. We're doing two shows at Joe's Pub in New York and we're doing The Bell House. And did I forget anything?

I don't think so. Live comedy is bad. And it returns only when I step foot on that stage, I said. And, you know, it's actually interesting that we bring this up because our guest is going to be opening for me at select dates. In cities besides New Yorkork and la is she traveling

with you to some far-flung watch this space because there's rumblings about her sort of maybe attending one city that she knows quite well and maybe this is sort of in me bringing it up it's sort of me nudging her but this is not let me just say something about the guests it's so interesting that you brought up that trip that we took upstate because that actually what that had in common with other holiday events is it was just family and the guest today is just family family true kin true kin do you know what i mean i'll do a third like literally, we say it, we say it, sometimes we throw this around, but literally sister life. Hashtag after.

Hashtag after. Let's talk about this guest. I mean, so many credits. You've known her from wonderful podcast projects that she's had in the past. She has another one coming up somewhat soon, I would say, in the next few months. Watch this space.

Watch this space. I mean, let's just say this. On the Lost Culture Ristas brand, as far as we can say, there's one podcast that's coming. It's called Stepmother, The Husband Hunt. Okay. And basically, what's going to go on there is you're going to get a firsthand account on how to like ensnare an older husband so that you can sit- With a heavy amount of dollars so you can sit on your damn ass and simply, you know, soak up life.

And that is part of the feed. It's the opposite of Squid Game. It's like, okay, it's a comment on wealth, of course, and, you know, disparities between classes. But there's no killing, there's no death. There might be some injury, violence, but it's overall, it has a happy ending. If you follow it correctly, it'll have a happy ending.

And then, of course, there is another pod. HeadGum is presenting Senior Superlatives, which is really going to be the event of a much sooner season you have to understand stepmother is coming in 2022 and isn't it great to have something coming in 2022 that's really the mark of success this is the time of year where you really want to have something coming up in 2022 and the next year it's always october where you're like well like that's that's next year baby yeah but senior superlatives is hitting it right now. It's actually out right now as of time of release. So you may listen to that pod absolutely as soon as possible.

Please do. And also, you know where you'll love her from Los Espookys. She is the ambassador, Melanie Gibbons. Melanie Gibbons. On Los Espookys. And you're going to actually catch her in next season of Search Party. Invented Pink. Invented Pink.

Oh, yes. And in the next season of Search Party. Invented Pink. Invented Pink. Oh, yes. And in the next season of Search Party playing a very interesting role. We can't say much yet. HBO to the max. That's what they say. Especially rule of culture number 11. HBO to the max.

Ladies, gentlemen, and my enbies. Everyone, please welcome into your ears Greta Teitelman oh my god wow what's the vibe is actually very cozy for me the vibe here is very cozy i am in my husband's father's home cozy yes it is cozy you know but you know what i don't love the lighting and i also overhead i don't like it i'm pale i'm pale and scary you know i don't like it and i my computer is old and it's very gauzy and blur for all of my and blur for your photoshop for my photoshop freaks for my adobe sweet heads out there okay yeah but it's not in

the cute way like gaussian is but now you know we see on all the filters it's the no pour but gaussian's out of style gaussian gaussian is like the blur on a grid where the it's a radial blur but it's broken out into squares yeah gaussian blur like there's there's very little use case for gaussian like when would like i i can't think of a situation where you would want to use gaussian blur like there's there's very little use case for gaussian like when would like i i can't think of a situation where you would want to use gaussian blur well you need to be like masking i mean you know you are you were an adobe king weren't you i was for a second i really haven't i only ever open adobe i only ever all i'm paying creative cloud my creative cloud subscription for is to make the the graphics for lost cult

week to week would you use in design i don't use in design i just in design i i get freaked and i only do it if i ever if i ever needed to do like a print thing yeah yeah yeah and i don't need to do that like for photos i just use photoshop because i'm just making a raster i'm not making any vectors baby no honey you don't need that vector math no this is one of the horniest conversations i've ever watched you just said vectors and a chill shot up my spine what is this so the difference is between rasters and vectors raster a vector oh my god if i was that top top energy if you say vector one more time I'm a comma a vector is something

he comma'd a vector is something that you can scale up or down without losing any of the resolution so it's like it's a clean

sort of scale up scale down you don't lose it doesn't get blurry you know sometimes if you try to like post something on Instagram that you're zooming in

or when you're zooming in on a photo too much it gets a little blurry that's a raster so much goes into Instagram that we don't even think about. We just think it's like social trauma and like thirst traps, but actually it's vectors. And rasters.

And most people are posting rasters. Most people are posting rasters. You're not vector images. The file size is so big that you're not like saving a vector image to your phone unless you got that new iPhone 13 Pro. Oh, come on. Wait. Greta, I didn't know you knew all of the ins and outs.

You guys are jamming out. I mean. But this is actually no surprise because, Matt, wouldn't you say Greta is one of our most visually just like with it friends? She's the person who I'm positive out of all our contemporaries will have a lifestyle brand she is the closest one absolutely to a realized like aesthetic that i can only call and i don't mean this in any way qualitatively i just mean it's goop in that it is a brand it's go but it is like, so many people are trying to do the funny take on goop,

and they do succeed. Yeah, but they don't walk the walk. Oh, no, I'm not. I don't. Oh, my God. I immediately take that back because our friends on BMP, Poog, Caperland, Jock Linovac,

I mean, that is like... No. That is like a lived-in conversation. Those are lived-in discussions about wellness. And we love Poog. Certainly. I'm talking about the aesthetic, though, of people trying to, like, skewer wellness or whatever, which

is great. It's a wonderful, noble pursuit. I really do think that. But Greta is someone who... This is the thing about Greta is that she, like, is able to, like, take all of these images and these references and, like, actually, like, make fun of them, but also, like, not sell them out

completely like honor them in some way grad that is greta thank you genius thank you okay this is an amazing podcast you guys have an awesome day i will say this i was like we were given the opportunity to do the feed which people if they don't know what that is we are producing 10 like character driven podcasts four episodes each um of each series and greta um was one of the first people that we thought of because she has so many inventive characters and like if you follow her on instagram you know but the character of stepmother i thought it would be so fun to see a podcast hosted by that character and greta has come up with the husband hunt which is a four episode series which is actually going to kick off the feed

and it's the perfect kick off and it's so I mean every detail is so thought out and so funny and I mean the full pitch the outline was like already like there we were just like great let's do it I hope everyone I mean

I love to me like I love details like that's is that's the best thing of life to me is little little itty bitty details so i think some people will really get on board with my details and other people have no idea what the fuck i'm talking about no i i don't think that's how it works i think that's what you're you're completely right you are see i'm so jealous because not to make this about me i don't think i'm that detail oriented when it comes to like my work like my output like i try to think big picture i'm like whatever matt and i work together he's the details person i'm like structure macro greta is someone who gets both

and she i the fact that you love the detail is stunning to me well I just like first of all I disagree with you Bowen I think you're an incredibly detail oriented person too he's very detail oriented in terms of writing in terms of like an idea

you're like coming in being like this story is about a baseball team and they're all is like and they're all wearing stripes and they're all like that's already too detailed i'm paralyzed by decision making right but i think that like but i can see the stripes so it's so interesting because outwardly outwardly in your functioning lives just the way you present no offense matthew my dear sweet boy already none taken what's stopping my neck stomp on my neck queen but one would say one would say you are very detail-oriented you have a you have a specific aesthetic you have things that you like

you have you everything from your clothes to like fragrance to your just your whole way of being your the tactile artifacts of your life is way more specific and honed in than matt's where matt is like and i again like this is not to be a shady bitch but matt is like oh this product that i think will be good for my eyes. I'm going to roll it on. Then I'm going to layer it on with 20 more products. I don't know if it's going to work. Maximalism. And also like,

you know, if I were to say to Matt, like, Oh, I love this. Like, this sounds so highbrow cunt of me. Oh,

I love this Bodhi, like like like handcrafted top Matt would be like but I just mean and it's not about that even it's just it's interesting that you say that in the creative practice your very big picture and Matt is very specific and yes i think in the day-to-day life practice matt is someone who you know i basically live with matt and he's very um easy comes easy goes and i think you are the you are like if if you if matt and i sort of made up for each other's deficiencies, then you would be the, the end result. We'd be Greta. We'd be Greta.

No, I honestly think that's true. I honestly think that. You basically, Greta, what we're saying is you are an ideal. You are. She really is.

I literally, I mean, you know how much I love you, but it's like, I actually, so here's the actual tea. So sometimes I always say, and this is real and he thinks it's like I actually so here's the actual tea so sometimes I always say and this is real he thinks it's a joke but it's actually real

whenever Bowen is traveling somewhere or going to show up somewhere I actually intrinsically know when it's going to happen I know actually well I think sometimes we say the thing of like I knew Bowen was flying in so I actually I put my head to the sky and said he is here very luke leia um if you will for my star wars episodes

um but anyway what i'm saying is i actually had that moment with Greta last week what I was like I was literally sitting in my bed and like a warm a warm thing came over me and I heard a John Williams score and I said Greta and I literally went over to my phone and I was like do you do you I'm I think I should come over and she was like yes and then we ended up spending the whole day together because we intrinsically know when it's time to join up because my girl was going through a hard day and i said i'm coming over and then we had a great day yeah oh my god but it was very surreal because matt texted me and was like i literally in the text he was like hey i feel like you need me something like that it wasn't verbatim but and i was like and i wrote back i was like, and I wrote back, I was like, did you know I was crying on my front lawn?

I thought that like he had talked to Abe or I thought that he had talked to like Cara. I thought that he had talked to someone that knew firsthand what I was going through. And he was like, no, I just like really felt like. I have intuitive feelings. Yeah. This is the

triple water placement jumping in. Really, he knows emotions. This is someone who knows who can break down emotions and interpret them correctly, assemble them back together. I have never met a more emotionally mature person.

Oh my God, that is too much. You know that's not true. Well, actually, I think I'm emotionally aware. You have a read on people is what I'm saying, Matt. You can read people. Okay. I think emotional awareness is probably what you're saying, and I take that as a compliment. Thank you. I also think that you're not one to shy away from having an emotional conversation. I think a lot of people can have the tendency to cower when it comes to needing to be vulnerable or upfront about their feelings

because they're scared to be open or whatever it is. And you're not like that. Well, I think that, thank you for saying that. But I think really what it is, is I think that I would say the same thing about you guys. And I think really ultimately what it is, is as you get a little bit older, like it's funny, like in my 20s, I would have I had what I would have considered to be maybe 15 to 20 really good friends.

You know what I mean? Now I think I have between like five and seven. Like that makes sense. And like but but I guess what that is, is it's like I'm a more much more available to the people that I'm very close to now. And I think I'm way less available to people that I used to consider good friends. But I feel like as you get a little bit older, the circle gets smaller, not necessarily in a negative way, but in a very positive way. I still love everyone that I've been friends with,

and I would consider that we've been close. But it's interesting how when you get older, your friendships just deepen obviously see i can't even track that progress for myself this is what this is the difference between me and matt is that matt can like think about his own personal relational history and be like oh this is what's friends and I always felt like I'm I love getting close with people like I love having converse like intimate I love intimate conversation yeah I like love it feel so open for them which is why I think they happen a lot I love having them but I think that I had a similar thing where I realized like the older I got I was like oh some people that I was once like

very close with I now don't necessarily have that same feeling toward I'm like the codependent side of my brain was like that's bad they probably hate you and then I was like no that's also just part of growing up that's part of getting older and it's okay and just because you're not like close with your 11th grade friends from high school doesn't mean that they like want you to die in rotten hell oh of course this fall on bravo it's time to turn up think you've seen it all i don't think you've been a good friend to me lately. We're friends like that. Who needs enemies?

You ain't seen nothing yet. Cheers to being Germanic. With the Real Housewives of Potomac. Oh my gosh, can I take this in? It's gonna be amazing. New York City. Everyone is a gossip. No one gets a happier life.

Salt Lake City. We don't wear costumes, we wear fashion. And Below Deck Salina. You broke the rules and now you're here getting upset. Watch all new seasons on Bravo or stream it on City TV+. I felt too seen. Dragged. I'm N.K. and this is Basket Case. So I basically had what back in the day they would call a nervous breakdown.

I was crying and I was inconsolable. It was just very big, sudden swaps of different meds. What is wrong with me? Oh, look at you giving me therapy, girl. Finally, a show for the mentally ill girlies. On Basket Case, I talk to people about what happens when what we call mental health is shaped by the conditions of the world we live in. Because if you haven't noticed, we are experiencing some kind of conditions that are pretty hard to live with.

But if you struggle to cope, the society that created the conditions in the first place will tell you there's something wrong with you. And it will call you a basket case. Listen to Basket Case every Tuesday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you. That's givingkitchen.org slash H-E-L-P. Together, we are Giving Kitchen. We help food service workers. Once again, we find ourselves in an unprecedented election. And with all that's happening in the lead up to the big day, a weekly podcast just won't cut it. Get a better grasp of where we stand as a nation every weekday on the NPR Politics Podcast. Here are

seasoned reporters dig into the issues that are shaping voters' decisions and understand how the latest updates play into the bigger picture. Listen to the NPR Politics Podcast on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Can I admit to something that I kind of feel bad about? Greta knows. Admit it. Admit it. I think Matt knows too.

This is the podcast. This is a new segment called Admit It. Admit it. Okay, here we go. Greta texted me last night. Oh my God, Bowen, you should not feel bad about this, but continue. Let me just put it out there. Yes, yes.

I think, wow, I mean, the vibe, we're coming in very honest, emotional. It's family episode. It's family episode. Okay, great. That's actually the title of that. Family episode. No, it's family episode. It's family episode.

So she texted me last night being like, hey, I'm coming in. Would you want to get dinner before we record the podcast? And I mean, Matt, I talked coming in. Would you want to get dinner before we record the podcast? And I mean, Matt, I talked to Matt last night. Yes. You knew the kind of place I was in. I was very tired,

exhausted, disappointed, sad, just a lot of things in the short term, nothing long term sad, but I was just like, God, I just, I really just need to like

be in a quiet room by myself for the next few days. Yeah. And then I was like, God, god matt i really want to see greta but i don't know i really i don't even it was just like i can't even i can't leave the home i couldn't even leave the home to see anybody yeah i was like would i leave for anybody no not even you, my sister. I know. I could be dying dead on the street. I would have said, no, I need my time. He was saying, sister, it was a show week. And I would say, girl, I could die.

Girl, I could die. I said, girl, that may be. But the fact is that it was show week. Yeah. He said, girl, my piece got cut. My multiple pieces got cut. And so, therefore, you better bleed out, bitch. I hope it goes quick, mama.

Anyway, and then I... Thank you so much, mama. And then I texted Greta back. I said, I'm so excited that you're coming on tomorrow. Just for my own... I'm in this weird fucking place. Can we do it some other time? How long are you in town for?

If anyone is going to get that, it's her. And that's why I felt safe. Yes. Literally, because she gets it there's a one ounce heavy part of my heart that is still like oh i shouldn't have done that no here's the thing we are all in a codependent generation i'm sorry something happened to all of us we're like we, we all feel that like, we all need to be there all the time for each other. And like this, like, and look, like I am there all the time for my friends in my heart. You are, you really are. I can give what I can give. However, like we all need to prioritize ourselves. Number one, because if you're not in like a healthy way

with yourself you can't be in a healthy way with your friends period so for me like you saying and this is by the way 900 years of therapy talking about like and alan on and just like so many other like things happening in my brain because i've been going through a depresso moment in my life but like if you can't say to your friend hey like i love you i want to see you i really need to take care of myself right now and like it genuinely has nothing to do with you but this is where i'm at if you're if the person you're sending that to you then internalizes it about being about them you need to know that that's like not about you yeah of course it was

just a moment where i was like oh sorry did i cut you off no i just mean that i think it's very healthy and important that all of us like advocate for our needs in this life and you needed to have solo time you need to take care of yourself and that's it. I'm on this like care kick right now where I'm just in terms of thinking about it. I'm like, oh wow, this is something that I maybe have taken for granted for a little bit that like people put care into like how they talk to me

or I should put in care about and how I talk to people. But like, it really was, you want to know where this is coming from? I was like, I want to see. But like, it really was, you want to know where this is coming from? I was like, I want to see Greta to hang out with her and have fun with her and, and, and be, you know,

cute and chatty. But also I want to like put in care for her because she always puts in care for me, you know, like that's where it's coming from. I, that sounds, that sounds so like soft and whatever,

but that's, yeah, it doesn't. I also think like it's's it's a weird pressure and i think everyone could relate to this like a pressure to re-socialize and on top of being busy now that you know the pandemic is like you know feels like it's at a place where it's manageable to go out and be social and be busy that it's this pressure we put on ourselves i think definitely in our generation because we are like a generation still of like intense FOMO because of what goes

on online and knowing that we've all had to sit around and do nothing for so many years now um that it feels like we put a disappointment on ourselves if we feel like we haven't um done something correct like socially or like done the right thing by a friend when they reached out because they might need um like you know social interaction or whatever and it feels like i anyway can speak for myself i've never like had to work to cut myself a break so much than like this year like but it also feels really good when you start doing that like when you see like someone's texted you instead of just like not getting back to them and because you're like getting stressed out about like you know um how you're going to answer that question or you don't really feel like socially interacting or you need

me time you know what i mean i i always just stress out about that now it feels so much better to just be honest and be like hey i'm actually not up for it and that's period and that's all you have to say and it's it's freeing to somehow sometimes like just say the truth and vocalize what it is which is like i actually need to be alone for a little while you know i think that i mean this morning i woke up i'm in new york and i woke up here and i was like i really need to be alone i was like i need to have this day i like had such a lovely day went to the met oh had when you had, got breakfast, went up to the Met, was in the Met for hours, left, walked all the way through Central Park, bought myself a new pair of shoes. I lived my whole life today. And I was like, I really just need to be alone.

And like, I need to be in a place where I remember who I am. Sometimes when I'm feeling overextended with friends or feeling overextended with work or feeling overextended in all of these ways, even with like social media, like I am very quick to suddenly feel like, who am I? Like, I feel like- I feel that way all the fucking time well you know

it's like all of your thoughts it's like are these my thoughts are they matt's thoughts are they abe's thoughts are they whose thoughts are these and like i look at instagram and i'm like what the fuck am i looking at like do i have any funny ideas like do i think of anything and then i'm like and then i just i'm like god like i need to be alone and i need to be like away from i need to be away from culture in that sense to re-immerse myself in culture in the broader sense yeah to be like oh my god yeah to zoom out and to be like fuck like this morning i was at breakfast and i was eavesdropping on this couple they were gamers they were day drinking they were having a wild conversation the one girl felt bad that ariana grande released

sweetener a month before breaking up with pete dav I mean, I was just like fully immersed in this like conversation that meant nothing to me. But I was like, this is fucking heaven. I'm eating well done bacon. Yeah. Come on. Dipping it in syrup. Don't go off, mother darling dear. Having myself a goddamn coffee.

Yeah. Listening to these fuckers talk. Yes. A must have. A must have i must have and i was like i'm i'm gonna enjoy this i'm gonna get on the train listen to my emotional edda james radio okay yes bitch i'm listening to jazz today what i'm listening to jazz sue me okay wow and i'm gonna enjoy my life are you guys good eavesdroppers? Excellent.

I'm not great. It really has to be like very, it has to cut through a lot for me to like pick up on it and be like, what the fuck are these people talking about? Yeah. Yeah. When I want to be, I am. But Greta, that doesn't surprise me at all

that you're a good eavesdropper. It's like my childhood. My like, all of my childhood was me just like listening and me like pretending to be in conversation with someone fully listening to the important people in the foyer yeah like when i tell you the amount of like boyfriends and dates that i've gone on where i truly know nothing about them because every single time i was just like in another world now thank god with abe i'll be like he'll be talking to me and I'll be like sitting there like this.

And I'll be like, are you hearing me? And I'm like, I was listening to the conversation that was happening next to us. I was like, I'm sorry. Honey, if you're having a conversation in earshot of me and it's about anything good, I mean anything good. There's a lot of things that are good in my mind there's a lot of points of interest oh my god so many points of interest i'm listening i'm yeah i i envy that because what a fun little skill it's it's fun and it's also hell because like i cannot help myself like if i hear someone on a phone call talking i mean it's bad like i literally i'm like a dog i like hearing like a whistle like the second i hear someone on

like anything being like and my husband said to me i'm like what did he say girl uh-huh well this bit this bitch i say she's not a bitch she's like the gamer this bitch the gamer was talking about how she wants to get her booster shot right and all this stuff and then they were like talking about weird conspiracies about like oh no see that is worth that's worth hearing i actually i at that point i tune out but keep going well i so badly wanted to tune way the fuck in i wanted to turn them be like i'm not i have lupus and i got the booster and a head ain't growing out of my fucking crack bitch you know isn't it isn't it the worst where you hear someone say something that you know objectively is not true? It's not true.

Me, the kind of person that I used to be, I think, like, who couldn't help themselves, now I think I'm a little bit better. But I would be like, actually, it's like, I'm that horrible, like, actually dot dot dot person. I'm a full coward now. I mean, did I talk about this already? Like, I was doing some event, and then I had to, like, be in the trailer with, like, the driver. It was just a bus. It was a bus more than a trailer. And then he was like, and this was back in, this was July.

And he goes to me, hey, so are you thinking about getting the shot? I was like, uh, yeah, I got it back in March. And then he was like, oh good for you and i was like what about you and he was like you know i'm thinking about pfizer and moderna but i'm not doing johnson johnson because you know they put cancer in that one i was like and i didn't have it in it was just so shocking that i was like oh i i said something to the effect of i don't think that's true but i didn't want to like confront you know yeah okay but by the way when you're in those situations it is really hard to it's hard the person was also driving a car yeah and driving your bus slash trailer yeah

uh brailler we call it brailler and, Brailler. And- Trail us. When you are like fully just locked in a conversation with that person- It's horrible. It's so fucking hard. It's very hard. Because what else are you going to do? You don't hate them. You know, you don't want them to feel dumb or bad.

You want to genuinely have a productive conversation with them. I feel like this is this is the same way i feel about like calling out racists or homophobes it's like there are racists and homophobes who can hurt you and there are racists and homophobes who can't and like and at the end of the day like what was i gonna do be like you're a fucking stupid idiot like i know like there's nothing like i'm not gonna see this person ever again And I don't think I have it in me to, like, convince him that they don't put cancer in the vaccine. You know, it's even harder, though, sometimes. Like, that's a stranger and you can tap out.

Like, when I recently. Oh, yeah, with family. This is rough. Like, because I'm not super close with a lot of my extensive family anymore, I actually have never really engaged them on anything that we disagree about socially. And I certainly haven't spoken to a lot of people during the pandemic. But now with the vaccine, I actually found myself in a conversation with a relative, not anyone in my immediate family, but who I disagree with about the vaccine. And it's actually so much harder than you think it's going to be because it ends up being a very emotional conversation because it's about so much more than just that. It's about like fundamentally disagreeing as people.

On the most basic facts. And that makes you not recognize the person. You know what i mean like like when it's when it's someone that you just kind of casually have to have that interaction with like it is what you're saying bone like this person can either not hurt me or whatever like i i can choose to engage or not engage but then it's like you get to this weird place where you're like i know this person is not trying to hurt me or themselves i've known this person their entire life but fundamentally on something like this we just miss each other and then it makes you feel kind of crazy when did that happen

how did that happen how are you as passionate about this as I am and you imagine that it has to come down to information but it's scary when that's false information and then it's weird it's just it's tough when that information shapes

your reality and like their reality that's when it becomes and that's why it's tough. When that information shapes your reality and like their reality, that's when it becomes, and that's why it's emotional is because you're like, oh, we don't live, we're not in the same world. It's crazy.

Yeah, it can feel like that. Oh my God. Are we being so bummery right now? No, it's true. By the way, it's true. This is something that like everyone deals with like i have like matt like not members of my family that are my immediate family but in my family not necessarily as it pertains to the vaccine i have a couple people that are huge pro-lifers

and i for a very long time whenever i'm around these sad relatives of mine i'm kind of like wow single issue pro-life voters yeah damn so like that to me i'm just and they're women by the way is it a religious thing it's probably like you know tangentially catholic yeah but to me it comes down to being it also comes down to being so much more than catholic it comes down to like fear and yeah probably something that happened in their life that i don't know about and you know it's just like the onion can just keep on peeling and peeling and peeling and peeling and peeling. But when I was like, I remember when I was like in high school, I was like, and I'm going to fucking call them. And they're going to listen to me. I'm like, you know, like stomping into my little duck Martins.

And then it's like when you're actually confronted with being hit on with a relative immediately i'm like and it's so nice to see you miss yeah like i'm like wow your banana cake is amazing like immediately because it's hard it's it's hard i mean it got so bad that actually i ended up saying i think you're i think what you think is ridiculous and left the i actually had to leave the room and then come back. And I did end up apologizing, which is weird because I at no point think that I said anything unreasonable. But when the other person gets so upset, you know in your heart that they're not a bad

person. It's confusing. You have to step away. And I don't know. I think that's a part of disagreement that we don't think about is it's like, I do think the conversation got better after I stepped away, apologized for making this person feel a certain way. And then we were able to really talk about what was going on. Because I also feel like most of the time in disagreements

with people close to you, stopping and asking why is it that you are really upset is actually something that people forget to do like why are what is making you upset yeah right i would just like to clarify i do not cower to these relatives but especially i don't want anybody to think that in the 2020 election or even the 2016 election i'm anyway was like you know not having these serious conversations that we should be having but i think that when you're a teenager especially like i for example as a teenager felt very self-righteous i felt very strong yes very like I can fucking talk to anyone. And then like, obviously when you're 16, that's not true.

I think that it actually is kind of scary to confront an elder in many ways. But like now I've had these conversations with my extended family, the few people that have these beliefs as it pertains to pro-life, but it's still very hard because it's like, it's not so hard to have the conversation. It's hard to find still very hard because it's like it's not so hard to have the conversation it's hard to find a way in because it's like i genuinely don't know my way in with you you 78 year old woman i don't know how i'm gonna talk to you about this right because i can't i can bring up to you that i'm a woman i can bring them to you that i need to have you know choice control of my body of my health and beyond that and it's just

hard it's like i think what it comes down to is any misunderstanding i'm gonna say any misunderstanding i'm probably wrong i shouldn't generalize this to say any misunderstanding. I'm probably wrong. I shouldn't generalize this way, but any misunderstanding comes down to one or both people assuming something incorrect. Yes. Just assuming something wrong. That's all. I'll end it there, which I know.

I don't, I know that's like so general that it's meaningless, but it's like, it's like any, like any time I like am angry at someone or find myself in conflict, it usually means that either I am angry at someone or find myself in conflict, it usually means that either I am assuming something wrong about someone else or they're assuming something wrong about me. And that's frustrating to me as someone who is receiving that assumption.

Which is why I think it's important to actually break it down to just emotionally. And maybe this is like my newfound emotional awareness that you were mentioning before. But I've found that it's actually quite effective to be like i want to know why you feel the way that you feel like tell me what's upsetting you so that we can talk about how i'm contributing to it or how the the things that you're hearing are making you feel this way and then it did get i think it got better obviously no one made any big changes in their vaccination status after that. But I obviously, I don't like, I don't, I don't, I don't engage in the conversation to fight. I engage in the conversation because I want people to get vaccinated and be healthy.

And because I know it protects other people. And I don't want someone, you know, I don't want this shit spread. So that literally, it's tailed over the last two want someone you know i don't want this shit spread so that literally it's tailed over the last two years you know but also the only way that you can even like remotely get change to start happening isn't just talking about it no so like i could think oh my conversations with my nearly 80 year old relative are completely pointless, but then who knows, maybe we talk and then maybe next time I see her this coming Christmas, she'll say,

I hear you. Yeah. I don't know. You know, I think that like it's, you can't be defeatist about things that are issues that need to fundamentally change in our culture and our society. So it's like,

obviously you need to talk to your family about getting vaccinated. Like, hello, get the fucking vaccine. And like, I don't care if you don't eventually get it. Someone needs to tell you they need to be getting it. Yeah.

And I warned people around me. I was like, I'm bringing it up. I'm bringing it up. Yeah. I was like, just so everyone's warned, like it's coming up. This fall on Bravo. It's time to turn coming up. to be amazing. New York City. Everyone is a gossip. No one gets a happier life. Salt Lake City. We don't wear costumes. We wear fashion. And below deck sailing. You broke the rules and now you're here getting upset. Watch all new seasons on Bravo or stream it on City TV+. I felt too seen. Dragged. I'm N, and this is Basket Case.

So I basically had what back in the day they would call a nervous breakdown. I was crying and I was inconsolable. It was just very big, sudden swaps of different meds. What is wrong with me? Oh, look at you giving me therapy, girl. Finally, a show for the mentally ill girlies. On Basket Case, I talk to people about what happens when what we call mental health is shaped by the conditions of the world we live in.

Because if you haven't noticed, we are experiencing some kind of conditions that are pretty hard to live with. But if you struggle to cope, the society that created the conditions in the first place will tell you there's something wrong with you, and it will call you a basket case. Listen to Basket Case every Tuesday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. is one bad day away from a huge personal crisis. Thankfully, Giving Kitchen is here to serve those that serve us. Giving Kitchen is a nonprofit helping any food service worker who gets hurt, gets sick, loses a family member or their housing. That's giving relief. So when you or someone you know is in crisis, tell them to ask for help from Giving Kitchen by visiting givingkitchen.org slash help. That's

givingkitchen.org slash H-E-L-P. Together, we are Giving Kitchen. We help food service workers. Once again, we find ourselves in an unprecedented election. And with all that's happening in the lead up to the big day, a weekly podcast just won't cut it. Get a better grasp of where we stand as a nation every weekday on the NPR Politics Podcast. Here are seasoned reporters dig into the issues that are shaping voters' decisions and understand how the latest updates play into the bigger picture. Listen to the NPR Politics Podcast on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Just a sort of topic switch. You mentioned yourself as a 16 year old being a righteous little demon. And I was on your podcast,

your new podcast, Senior Superlatives. And I that like it it is actually quite therapeutic to think about yourself at that time yes um in interesting ways like it's in thinking how far you've come in thinking the obstacles that you've overcome from then to now um what made you want to do this podcast about this time and and why and why yeah well bowen first of all you need to be on my little old pod i'm so happy to i would be thrilled bowen in high school is something i really wish i could have seen because i actually think we would have been i actually think we would have had a um we would have recognized each other yeah but i don't think we would have been brave neither of us would have been brave enough to like try to befriend the other we couldn't have been met in bowen i don't think but i think that but i think that that was just the times we

were in that's that's what i would say it would have been like culturista recognized culturista 100 sister recognized sister do you think that either of you would have been friends with me in high school i think i would have been friends with you it would have i would have taken i would have i it would have taken a lot of convincing from me. I would have had to really persuade you. No. Oh, I was thinking you would have taken convincing from me for you to be my friend.

I was deeply uncool. I think I was like, I don't know what, what made me do this podcast? Well, okay. I had high school for me was like, so bananas. It was hell. It was such deep rooted

so much of it. I'm like, you know, I talked about it all the time in therapy and I'm just like, you know, I'm like, I have one real friend that went to my proper high school who is a fellow NYU alum of yours, Patrick Foley. Patrick, yes. And, you know, it's interesting when I talk to him about high school because he remembers so many things that like I said and did that I genuinely don't remember. Doesn't that freak you when they do that? Yeah. It freaks me specifically because Patrick and I are much closer now than we were in high school. But you were friends back then. We were friends. However, I was like very much like floater girl,oner girl uh like i will i was kind of friends with every i

was kind of like friends with everyone and i also like attached to no one and i think i had a really big fear of like you know if these people actually get to know me then they'll actually see that i'm not as cool as i'm like giving off you know so I was like very much so the girl smoking cigarettes in the alley uh being bad in class but also being like loved and being funny and fun which is a hard tough line to walk person to be because in many ways like you're excelling in certain aspects of this social life that is very fundamental and important to being an adolescent but in other ways i was like screaming for help and screaming for anyone to just like literally pay me attention because I was just so void of it in my family life. Right.

And yeah, I think that high school was just such a weirdly traumatic and impactful thing in my life. And the whole entire time, I was like, I cannot wait to be done with this fucking shit. I was like, I hate this place. I hate these people. This is bullshit. I will never need to know about geometry ever in my life. I will never need to know about AP fucking European history ever in my life. I will never need to tell you about like how cells split. Like literally let me fucking go.

And lo and behold, every day you're being asked about the Habsburgs and Mios. And every single day I am now being asked to I'm sorry, I couldn't. No, it's every single day I am being asked to calculate hypotenuse size. Yes, girl.

Okay, every single day. You're being asked to really look at a graph and go, what's the parabola? Where's the inflection point? Can you do this log, bitch? I said, come on, X-axis, Y-axis, mitochondria. Come on. Rick Gatsby.

Come on, trigonometrus. And you say, what year was Versailles built? You say, what? I'm a 17, so so 81 that might be close but I truly was just like I was just like I don't need this I hated it right and then now and then now I'm kind of like wow I have stress dreams about this really oh yeah I'm like, I need to work through this. I need to talk through this. And I think that something that has brought me comfort about this has been

being able to talk through it and about it with my, with people that I want to talk to. Compare it. Compare it. Or just like, you know, some people have completely opposite high school experiences as me. Matt had one that's completely opposite as me. I mean, when I talked to Mitra

Johari, she had one that was so opposite of me. Like, Mitra loved high school. Mitra loved high school. She was great in class. She was great in theater. She was great in sports she was great in sports she was like she was like a triple high school threat wow but yet it was still hard and like shitty and weird you know what i mean so i think that for me the things that have made me move on from my like weirdo time is being like oh maybe this was just really weird for everyone maybe i don't actually need to be watching like these toxic 90s high school movies thinking that that is what my high school experience should be just really weird for everyone maybe i don't actually need to be watching like these toxic 90s high school movies thinking that that is what my high school experience should be it's a fantasy right it's a fantasy but like there for some people it was easy it is that and i actually and

you know everyone you know at least at least people i know are always like oh if you peaked in high school that sucks blah blah blah blah blah but always like, oh, if you peaked in high school, that sucks, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But I'm like, you know, if you peaked in high school, you are developmentally on a fully different path than, like, most people. And that is rare and, like, good for them. But I will just come out and say, if you, you like if high school was easy for you then like something is wrong with you now i'm sorry yeah something is fundamentally wrong yeah something is darkly wrong with you now and i'm just gonna say i'm just gonna say any reader if you had an easy high school experience i i don't do not come near me yeah you gotta look at yourself in the

mirror don't come near bowen look at yourself i'm kidding but i'm saying like i know i don't disagree with you but i think i think 99 of people struggled yes i think the whole thing is like 99 of people did struggle i think that like what's interesting about doing this podcast is like i talked to certain people matt rogers is a perfect example like you know really evolved through high school became friends with the popular kids became very popular was desired by a bunch of people ended up becoming prom king like all of these was an incredibly fast runner was like i don't know just can i say though i'll qualify this it started out fucking dark but this is what i was just about to say i was just about to say even though your story yeah even though the story was at the end this like okay it all worked out for this person by the way you were

burdened with so much pain number one being the fact that you were deeply closeted and dealing with your sexuality and the fact that like you know you had girls stalking you at like running camp and giving you anxiety attacks well i mean here's the deal i think that when you're in high school it's like it is a weird thing because right it's like you can either learn you can either try to adapt to your situation or you can be like fuck this can't wait for this to be over and i think actually it's a more evolved thing to be like fuck this and can't wait for this to be over because it actually doesn't really have that much to do at all with the rest of how your the course of your life goes but when you're there it feels like the biggest thing in the world so i genuinely felt

like at the time because my world was so small i maybe it was because i was from a suburban area you know like i just felt like i had to change into what was idealized at the time because there was no there was nothing bigger and what i mean like of course i had dreams of like you know moving away and like starting my career and like being successful at whatever but it didn't it didn't feel real enough to me to not completely um try to fit into the very small box of what was going to be quote-unquote popular. And then when I did win Prom King at the end of it, I did feel like I quote-unquote won. Then the very harsh reality was I stepped foot in NYU and everyone just laughed at me

because they thought I was so fake and they thought I was so uncultured. And it was- Was it a reset? You felt like it was like, oh, it's freshman year of high school all over again like this is like you have to you have to you start at a new waterline well you have to decide again you have to decide and you guys both know what this is like who actually am i going to be here will i try to figure out who i am which i've never

done before or will i actually done what i've done many times and try to adapt to whatever they need me to be to not to not make a make a wave here or like stand out in the wrong way? And ultimately, that time I decided, let's just try to figure out who I am and actually do my thing. Thank God. But, you know, it's weird when you think people that were not challenged in high school, like you're saying, Bowen, are they still doing that? I feel like we're recording this on october 11th we're recording this a little early um it's national coming out day i don't think too i don't put too much thought into i think it's a wonderful thing that people get to like think about but like coming out as its own way of adapting am i am i like talking in like a

weird circle like no as a way to like, be like, Oh, I'm fine. The circumstances are finally demanding it, or I'm comfortable to come out. Like, I think it was just, I mean, college, as soon as you came out, man, I feel like that changed the course of everything in your life, of course, but like, absolutely. I feel like, but when but when when i came out it wasn't me saying like i i'm coming out and this is who i am really what it was was i'm coming out which means i'm ready to start figuring out who i am based on this no longer being an obstacle in my life and in my um interior you know self-intervention yeah yeah And my self-determination is not going to have to deal with this thing in my life that is stopping me from, from being myself, if that makes any

sense. But, but I also think like, you know, I really think about what you just said, which is that, you know, if people had an easy on high school and never stopped having it easy, I really think about what you just said, which is that, you know, if people had it easy in high school and never stopped having it easy, I just, I have ultimately feel bad for them because they've never had to actually say, but who am I? And I think that's the cause of a lot of, you know, not to get too general about this, but like, you know, when someone has like a quarter life crisis or a midlife crisis, that's just because you're only then ready to walk the path of like like let me get real with myself what do i actually want yeah like and so then i'm grateful to have gone through hard

things early i think you guys both know what you guys want out of life i think you do too i don't know that i do anymore well i think that this is again like the same story this has become like a full like us i love this but i do family yeah it's family i think that when our identities get so seeped into something that is bigger than ourselves in many ways you cannot see and this is one of my least favorite terms to use and i or sayings to use the forest and i hate that i'm using it you can't see the forest through the tree and i fucking hate it when people use that and someone use that why do you hate that because essentially it's just an it's just an expression for what we've been talking about. I use that about a piece of my work that I have been pouring my, my,

my heart and soul into and it stung me very badly. But I think that like, I think that with so much of what we do, it's like so much. I think about Julio when he like posts on Instagram and he's like, here's product for all my consumers yes yes there is a mentality of being like yeah like we are all product and i think that it's really hard to be like i'm giving and giving and giving and giving and giving i know that i'm

supposed to be doing this i know that people like it when i do that and the people want to hear me say this and other people think it's funny when i do that that it's very hard to like weed whack your way yeah through your brain to be like wait a second what the fuck do I like yeah what do I think is funny what do I think is cool what do I want to watch what do I want to listen to am I listening to this because I'm actually interested in it? Or am I listening to this because I think it's going to, for some reason, like give me social currency or make me more interesting or whatever. It's like this whole thing just like bogs you the fuck down. And I think that when you become a very front facing person, as you have entered over the course of you doing this podcast your career has taken a huge leap forward in many ways it's hard for you to sit comfortably in yourself every night

and be like who is Bowen actually and who is the Bowen that I think I need to be like giving the world because the world is like a vicious fucking psycho place yeah so it's like it's hard it's but no what you're saying is exactly right it's like it literally is the opposite of self-definition when all of your interests are being or like or your identity is being fed back to you reflected back to you by your quote-unquote audience yeah i'm having people tell me who i am and like on this mass scale and i'm like this is incomprehensible and i don't know what to do with this and it's actually crossing all the wires that i've like carefully laid out in my own brain over the course of like my adult life that I'm going wait I don't I can't tell like I can't tell how to like make sense of any of this it's weird it's

dark it's but it's where I'm at yeah I also think that people are comfortable feeling that way and also um but like contributing to that like because there is something about high school like socially anyway that like feels like a version of what we have and so maybe maybe we did have more problems with it than uh than we think because i do think that we've elected to do something where, ideally, if you're successful, people will talk about it. Yes, yes. And so, there is something about, maybe there is something about people that then try to be in entertainment or try to be public, that there is some sort of a wanting to redo high school and i don't mean that to drag myself or anyone who tries to do this but there's something about a personality type that pursues this career that's all i'm saying of course i'm just saying there's something specific to 2021

of doing this um of i'm saying this is not me this is like everybody who uses instagram because instagram is ultimately a marketing, it's a marketing platform. Right. It's like, that's not actually posting pictures of vacation. It's you like presenting yourself to the world unless, you know, your profile is private or locked. And then it's the algorithm telling you,

well, this is what I think you like. And so I'm saying everyone deals with this in some way. It's like, you know, the trick mirror. It's like the whole Gia Tolentino thing. It's like, we're being shown a reflection of ourselves that's fully funhouse, fully like not legible at all. And I'm just like, I don't know what to do. And so whatever, I've smoked a lot of weed evidently

as readers know, but it's been helpful because last night i took an edible and i just like laid in bed ate it made myself a flaming hot salad which was flaming hot ruffles barbecue wow and flaming hot cheetos and i used chopsticks and i just like because that way my fingers don't get dirty don't get dirty fingers don't get dirty that's how the mukbang people do it. I learned that trick on Search Party set. There was a costumer that always opened up her chips and ate them with chopsticks. And I was like, holy shit.

It's so chic, actually. Yeah, it's gorgeous. To do it while you're watching TV, just with chopsticks and a bowl of chips. And I just, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. There's no, there's no, the most elegant way to eat is with chopsticks chopsticks I agree and to cook too like if you're fucking like frying something in the pan

or you gotta like flip over like something you just chopstick it when I see that egg twirl with the chopsticks when I see slow cooking eggs twirling in a gorgeous spiral with the chopsticks I'm like that's it that's it chopsticks are cunts yeah that's really cool are cunts that's real culture and number 95 yes chopsticks

are cunts you know it's funny like sudi came over last night we ordered thai food and they didn't put any uh cutlery in the bag did you have to did you have to use the chopsticks well i i went over because i usually have a whole bunch of chopsticks just stored up because i love to use chopsticks and all i had was forks i've run out of all my chopsticks so then we had to eat with forks and i was so disappointed no it's not the same it's a different experience i would also just like to give a shout out to my dear friend sasha her mother who is an icon eats a banana every morning sliced up with chopsticks that's when i saw her it's either chopsticks or a toothpick and when i saw her interchangeably doing this i was like this bitch is not fucking around and that's she would pick up the pieces of

banana chopsticks or stab it through no pick it pick it up with chopsticks, eat it, little slice of banana at a time. That's crazy. And this is an iconic Russian woman. This is like, we don't, you know, and for me, the ultimate respect. Actually, wait, I take it back. I just said that's fucking crazy, but it's actually, no. She is making it a ritual. Yes, because she wants to eat slowly and

she wants to eat consciously that's her whole thing where she's like i don't just want to you know broke down the banana you know for me honey no no we're putting the banana down to bite okay or just one whole gulp you know we I don't know about that, champion. No gag reflex. No gag reflex queen. I ate bananas in one bite. Ooh, Abe. Bowen, you were missed the other night. When?

Oh, at Halloween Horror Nights? Greta and I went to Halloween Horror Nights. And Greta is my favorite person to hear her laugh her ass off on a theme park ride. They are goof-a-loo. Do you want to give your reviews of the rides that we did i need to hear them okay here's the thing for all of the readers i don't know if they are as big of you know theme if they're parkers what is what do you call them femurs theme parkers what do you what's the name for that park heads park heads they're they're champions they're champions champions warriors amazing warriors amazing warriors if you're an amazing warrior and you fight the battle every time you go to a park yeah stunning warrior um

here's my review i'm actually gonna open matt's text because i will ultimately forget you need to read it some of the names of the rides okay so i'm going to just scroll to that here's what i'm going to say okay we went on four we went on four rides four rides at universal we went on harry potter transformers jurassic world and mummy and everyone out there needs to know that i as a child was we did not go to parks we did not go to like that was not a part of my culture yeah that was that no like i was i was watching jane fonda workout tapes and i was like you could only do one yeah and I was like smoking cigarettes at the age of 11 okay it was like not we're not going to the park you know what I mean

no and if we were my mom would have dropped me off when I was 12 I've been like here's a cell phone you call me when you're done like no we were not going and the one time we did go I was seven years old went to Disney World, and I was just obsessed with collecting autographs. That was all I wanted to do. I did not. I did not want to go on the rides. I didn't want to do any of that shit.

I didn't want to eat the food. I wanted the autographs. And I remember Chippendale's autograph was the best because they put their little teeth. Paws. Teeth? Yeah, their little front little teeth. Their little chompers. Yeah, their little teeth paws and teeth yeah their little front little teeth their little chompers yeah their little chompers and their signature they're like i'm gonna show it i'm gonna show it to you guys okay okay she's gonna draw a visual

person she is yeah and then it was like they made the c and the d look like little smiley faces so it was kind of like little teeth like that oh that's fun that looks like balls it looks like it looks like imagine the capital c and d having testicles that's what that's what it looks like and they probably made them not round they probably made them more square square balls they probably made them look like this none of the readers can see this but we're talking about a pair of teeth that greta has drawn anyway so here's the thing you just wanted the autograph i just wanted the autograph so i rides are very new to my life matt introduced rides in my life and so you can't take them seriously because

you're you're reacting to them no an adult. No, she loves it. She loves it. I'm like, I love it because I'm just like, this is wild. Like, visual reality. I'm like, this is crazy. It's crazy. And also just like, I love, people are obsessed with Harry Potter. I mean, I never

read the books, but people love it. We went with Mo, who was like, really excited. so tell us what you thought of the harry potter and the forbidden journey okay harry potter and the forbidden journey that's what i have to say set design stunning those candles those floating candles that needs to be a wedding that is a wedding venue okay the painting's moving unreal stunning the whole it's gorgeous in there okay it looks like a beautiful scary home that i would love to go castle that i would love to go to a dinner party

at i mean she's hogwarts for a reason that's why i call her hogwarts i mean hogwarts is gorgeous the story i think hermione is a flop at the end of the day, but I also think Hermione is the number one. Well, we left the ride and I literally turned to Greta and I was like, Hermione is so good at magic. Like she is so good. She's without a doubt the best. But you know what's annoying about Hermione is that it's like she needs to know she's the best

and then she needs to just like know it. Ron sucks. She's overconfident. She's completely dating a flop. It's like she walks around all confident and knows her magic. And then she goes home to Ron. I'm like, honey, for what? No, she's not dating Ron in real life.

Like Ron sucks. Ron sucks. Unless Ron can fuck the house down. One thing is like maybe Ron's not good at sex. You're so right, Bob. You read one book and you're like, this guy is not good at no ron's not good at sex are you you're so right you read one book and you're like this guy is not good at sex he can't even finger he can no way he doesn't know how to work the joint no and also he probably is one of those weirdos that's like i'm gonna need you to shower first yeah fuck that you know what i mean like i think he's like making out and then

he's like before we go any further i I'm going to need you to shower. And like. Harry, probably get it sucks. Harry will dick you the fuck down. And even if Harry, like, you know, he might be small in body, but in ability. In ability. It's not the size of the prize. It's the motion of the ocean, honey prize it's the motion of the ocean so basically your review of harry potter and the forbridden journey is um for burden

your review is great set deck you love the candles hermione's a flop and shouldn't be fucking wrong but you did think the dementors were scary love the dementors the dementors slay there's the one dementor that really gets like within two inches it's crazy i love the dementors i identify with them i understand they don't you know they just are just spooky and they're sucking the life out of people and they're they look rick owens okay they're in like yeah it is Rick Owens Rick Owens is a Dementor it's rule of culture number 52

Rick Owens is a Dementor it's Algea number queen not what he designed but what he wore what he wore yes exactly so would you give it the gold, silver or bronze medal? I would honestly I would give it a gold just to see the fashion and the culture that is Hogwarts and Dementors.

Okay, so Greta, what is your review of Jurassic World, the ride? Camp. Camp. Camp. Camp. Jurassic World is camp. I took Bowen on this. Jurassic World is balance.

Yes. Jurassic World, for me, if I were to be like, what is a theme park? That is the Jurassic World ride. It is clunky set design that I love. It's water. It's animatronics. Animatronics. It's Bryce Dallas Howard.

Yes. B.D. Wong, don't forget. B.D. Wong. Yes. B.D. Yes. BD Wong, don't forget. BD Wong. Yes, BD Wong. My love as a Law & Order purist. Oh, yeah. Show was never the same once I left.

No, not when Henry left. But BD is so hot in the inline sort of footage. Like, he looks so fucking good. He looks really good. Yeah. Can we just briefly talk about BD for one second? Yes. He's in 143 episodes of Law & Order SVU.

I mean, the other day I looked up how many Mariska has done. It's like almost 500. Oh, she's done like, yeah. It's crazy. But just like Blanket being in 143 episodes of anything, I'm like, what? What? And like fucking like Wanda Tony when he was in his 20s,

or late 20s, early 30s. Was in Mr. Robot. He's someone who could EGOT. Yes, I think so. Big time. He deserves the EGOT. He already has the... T is the hardest one to get in my head.

T is the hardest one to get. I agree. T is the hardest one to get. It agree. T is the hardest one to get. It's rule of culture number 15. E got? Hey, you got? T is the hardest one to get. I think G is the easiest one to get.

Do an audio book. Yeah. Hello. Yes, we know about one. We know how we're getting our G. Me too. Or be in a big Broadway show. Yes.

Literally. But I think that you guys can get a G for this because you know eventually they are going to put in podcasts. They have to. The Grammys? Yeah, they have to. Bowen, we should win a Grammy for this podcast. I'm nominating Last College for Grammys. You know the podcast has received

critical acclaim. We should win a Grammy for the Top 200 Moments in Culture episode. If we don't win an award for something soon, I'm freaking out. I'm already nominating you guys, and I'm going to buy you each a little present. Because that's what you win when you win awards for Greta. Transformers. I want to know, do you give it the gold, silver, or bronze medal?

I give Jurassic gold. Because I think that Jurassic needs... I think that if you are someone that's like, I just to have this experience i want to be playful i don't want to take this stuff too seriously i want it to be a little wet and wild there's something for everybody there's something for everyone and also here's the one thing about jurassic world you gotta go during the day because at night they don't have good enough night lighting and universal famously not a park that's open at night. I can forgive them for that. However, Universal, you got enough coin that you can give me a little set deck that when you know you're

going to be open late for the Halloween spectacular, you got to light up the jungle in there because I can't see the pterodactyl. I can't see the bronchiosaurus. I can't see what's happening here. And this is the thing that I wanted to point out is that, Greta, I don't think you went on the original Jurassic Park ride. No.

They kind of just refurbished that one. And the animatronics in that aged really terribly, wouldn't you say, Matt? Yes. Bad animatronics. Now you have the Indominus Rex. But give us some credit.

The Indominus Rex was carrying down. When Mother comes out? Yeah. I was like, girl. And then they do the drop, and you were guide for the drop. Oh, the drop. The drop.

This is why Jurassic World, the ride is camp. This is why she said it's camp, because when Mother comes out, she might as well be saying, Christina! Bring me the axe! Pretend that Indominus Rex, next time you go to Universal, the Indominus Rex

is saying, Christina! Bring me the axe! It is Mommy Dearest. It is exactly what's happening. But it still wins the gold medal. Talk about Transformers. You know, Transformers used still wins the gold medal. Talk about Transformers. You know, Transformers used to take the gold from me, and now Transformers is taking the silver.

And I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. 3D? You're not a fan of the 3D? Well, I think that we rely a little bit too much on the tricks of VR and not enough on the tricks of you figuring out some robotics shit to blow my mind. You know what I mean?

I think that we're relying a lot on the screen, a lot of what we can do. And it was very in vogue back in the day though. When you say Matt. Yes. Science. Science is amazing. And that's what VR is.

Science. So the science and transformers you love, but it wins the silver medal because you just felt too many screens. I felt too many screens. I felt, could we be doing this in the comfort of my own home? I felt, love but it wins the silver medal because you just felt too many screens i felt too many screens i felt could we be doing this in the comfort of my own home i felt could we be you know i can put on a vr headset and be having sex with a human like i could probably be having this of course experience you know when when star scream is about to fucking kill you yes Yes, yes, yes. And then flies away.

As a plane. As a plane. That is a fucking gag. No, it's incredible. Yes. Also, another gag too is truly when you are plummeting down

the skyscrapers and you're like, I mean, that... That drop. The finale, that is the death drop of Transformers. Don't forget the part

where you get, you crash through a skyscraper window and then you go through the office, the office space. Yes, yes. You crash the cubicles,

mama. I also like when you get swallowed up by that machine and come through its back when you see all the gears. Yes, I like that too. And then you ship it out through the back.

It's really fabulous. And the big robot that sucks you up like, Yeah. And the big robot that sucks you up. Yeah. And Bumblebee is hot. Bumblebee is hot. Has sexual energy. But okay, so finally, the Revenge of the Mummy.

Revenge of the Mummy. Platinum. Platinum. I mean, Revenge of the Mummy is like when Beyonce dropped the Beyonce visual album. It's exactly like that. It's really like that. It's hypersexual.

It's reclaiming something. 2013. It's like seeing the partition video for the first time. Where you're like, holy shit. I did not even know that this could be a thing. How is this happening? Yeah. So, Mummy does this very amazing thing, which is it's taking sort of cultural nods from all of the other rides. It's taking the camp that Jurassic Park has. It's taking the VR.

It's not VR, really, but it's taking some visuals that we have from um mom from um transformers it's taking some story that we had at harry potter where it's giving us like harry potter's very plot driven you know what i mean it's like it's a plot ride so it's kind of it's fan service harry potter's fan service the mummy it doesn't matter if you've seen the movies. You're gonna fucking love it. You're gonna love it. And also, it's giving us something unexpected. And I just think that like, I don't want to spoil it, but

there is a drop in that where you are in butt darkness and you don't know and then you're going forward, you're going back. I mean, oh my god, don't even get me started on the bugs. The bugs? The bugs. Oh my god that's sensation the bugs the sensation so it wins the platinum for you so we know which one you liked the best and then finally my answer to you is were you frightened by any of the haunted houses no because i have gone to a lot of terrifying haunted houses in New York City.

And I love to think about things. Whenever I'm getting a little scared, I love thinking about it practically. I like to think to myself, okay, this is universal. If this place really fucks me up, I'm going to sue. You know what I mean? And they're too big to want to do that. So they're like, okay, we can't have anyone suing us. We can't have anyone being so us we can't have anyone being

so scared that they like get a heart attack we can't actually like be fucking with people enough that we really like because it's too big of a company they have to be way too liable all the stuff i have gone to haunted houses here in new york city that have that, that should be shut down. That like are, I mean, I was telling Matt this story. I went to one that was in an office building one time. Oh, I remember, I remember this, this one. I didn't go to it, but I heard about it. And you know what it is?

It's because it looks like it was all decorated from Party City. And you walk into these places and you're like, oh, okay, these people have no budget. So they're relying on performance. You know what I mean? And I think the thing at Universal is they have so much budget.

They're like, look, we are going to put you into the set of us. We are going to put you into the set of Texas Chainsaw. You are in the set of Halloween. Production, yeah. We're here. It's like, uh, guess what? You're in a building in Midtown. You're in the set of Halloween. They have production, yeah. Where here, it's like...

You're in a building in Midtown. You're in a building in Midtown. We put black lights in and there's Silly String Girl. Crazy shit. Tell the story about the person on the street. So there was a... I was waiting to get in to this scary, scary haunted

house. Yeah. And there was a clown on the street entertaining us. And it was like an old Krusty Clown. Oh my god. As in Krusty the Clown? I mean, he looked like Krusty the Clown Jason. Okay.

He was like, had all the gags. He had the hand buzzer. He had the flower with water. And then he was like, you know, and I hate the hand buzzer. Honey, don't touch me with a hand buzzer. I hate the hand buzzer. Girl. I will punch you in the fucking face if you hand buzz my ass.

I swear to God. I hate the hand buzzer. I think it's an attack. It is. You're basically, it's like a mini taser. Yeah, it is. It's one of the worst attacks. The hand buzzer is actually one of the worst attacks you want to send a current through my body

how dare you if you hand attack me I'll never trust you you can never be close with me he was doing all this shit to me and I was there on a date to me and this date who she later fucked

and then he finally pulled out like a balloon to make me a balloon animal and he started blowing into the balloon and then his eyeball his left eyeball flew out onto the ground and started rolling around. And then he was like, my eye, my eye. And then, of course, you as the person is like, oh my God, I need to get this guy's eyeball because it's rolling all over the sidewalk. Is this real? Yes.

And then he bends down, he picks it up. He literally is like, like breathes on it, polishes it off with a rag and pops the thing back in his head god and i was just like they're gonna kill me in there i was like i'm gonna be worn i'm gonna be worn out of this place like a pair of fucking leather leggings from the row i am literally going to be from Lula Row yeah from Lula Row exactly or Lulu Roo Lula Rich

Lula Row Lula Row it's not The Row it's Lula Row and then did the actual house end up being scarier than this clown it was just hell it was like kids that were just wanting to fuck with you so bad and like not leave

you alone i do remember there was this one room though where like all of the walls were kind of like stretch spandexy like workout fabric and it was a whole like neon situation and the and people in the walls would just like come out and like grab you in through this like spandex it was one of those ones where it was like you could be marked with red on your head yeah you would know not to touch yeah oh my god i don't really want to be taught that's for sure but when we were walking around the streets bowen have you been to halloween horror i've never been to halloween horror you would gag but the thing is i think that they would recognize you and they would make a point to try to really terrorize you

but the thing is you really they come up to you really far and a lot of them are holding like fake axes and fake chainsaws and fake knives and they would come up and like literally swipe in your face and swing in your face and I was like

literally one time if Mitra had even put her head out like a foot like her head would have gotten hit and i was just like this is crazy they have to be trained for that like obviously and like you hear about 0.00 times of them connecting with people and it obviously doesn't happen they know what they're doing but it's like you're swinging an axe at my head you know what i hated mo was like mo was like i hate the chainsaws and i was like yeah i do too because it's such an aggressive sound i was like yeah it's really scary i was like but why do you hate them and she was like it just takes one crazy person to decide to put the chain on and i was like whoa i don't know about that. It just takes one crazy person who decides to put the chain on.

And then I was like, we gotta go! It was crazy. But I do appreciate all the performers, all the actors. Oh, it is a production. It's a production. I did miss, though,

and I did miss some of the girls that were on stilts a few years ago. I miss them not being there. Being on stilts a few years ago i miss them not being there this being on stilts is very scary they only had two people on stilts this year they were more on stilts the first time we went and the stilts are just you're scared of the people in on the stilts it's just crazy they can do that terrifying because they're towering over you yeah and they're so scary and they're so scary and they can like jump like they're so And they're so scary. And they can jump. They're so skilled.

They're so good on the stilts. They're so good on the stilts. LA is amazing. The stilt people will stalk you for a really long time. You're walking and you'll be like, oh, these people aren't fucking with me. And then you'll look up and next thing you know,

you have the wicker man on stilts next to you. Yeah. LA is incredible. LA is amazing. That you get talent like that in LA, only in LA. You go to Disney world. Everyone's fucking.

Oh, boo. In LA. It's cause LA attracts people from all over the world. It's called La La Land. Yes, it is. Watch it. And it's an amazing movie because it shows people that are

very different, all coming to, like people like Emma Stone, people like Ryan Gosling, very different. So different. All coming to one city, one place to see their Hollywood dream come true. And to sing. And to sing dance act perform

get caught in traffic while simultaneously making it art and i said relatable queen and you know what it's that relatability in the movie la la land that made me say wow i see myself in these people and when they do you know make it and you after all their ups and downs you think that was an amazing story and i think that when i was at in universal studios hollywood horror nights i thought all these people came here for a reason their dream yes come on bitch city of stars vibes city of angels the real housewives of salt lake city are back welcome and last season's drama was just the tip of the iceberg you're recording us i am disgusted never in a million years after everything we've been through did i think that you would reach out to our sworn

enemy we were friends how could you do this to me i don't trust her the real housewives of salt lake city wednesdays at nine on bravo or stream it on city tv plus I felt too seen. Um, dragged. I'm N.K., and this is Basket Case. So I basically had what back in the day they would call a nervous breakdown. I was crying, and I was inconsolable. It was just very big, sudden swaps of different meds. What is wrong with me?

Oh, look at you giving me therapy, girl. Finally, a show for the mentally ill girlies. On Basket Case, I talk to people about what happens when what we call mental health is shaped by the conditions of the world we live in. Because if you haven't noticed, we are experiencing some kind of conditions that are pretty hard to live with. But if you struggle to cope, the society that created the conditions in the first place will tell you there's something wrong with you. And it will call you a basket case. Listen to Basket Case every Tuesday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, everybody. It's Matt Rogers.

Back when I was a server, I was one bad day away from a huge personal crisis. Thankfully, Giving Kitchen is here to serve those that serve us. Giving Kitchen is a nonprofit helping any food service worker who gets hurt, gets sick, loses a family member or their housing. That's giving relief. So when you or someone you know is in crisis,

tell them to ask for help from Giving Kitchen by visiting givingkitchen.org slash help. That's givingkitchen.org slash H-E-L-P. Together, we are Giving Kitchen. We help food service workers. Once again, we find ourselves in an unprecedented election. And with all that's happening in the lead up to the big day, a weekly podcast just won't cut it. Get a better grasp of where we stand as a nation every weekday on the NPR Politics Podcast.

Here are seasoned reporters dig into the issues that are shaping voters' decisions and understand how the latest updates play into the bigger picture. Listen to the NPR Politics Podcast on the iheart radio app or wherever you get your podcasts we are going to move into the segment known as i don't think so honey which is a 60 second segment really we have one of the best in the biz here oh my god a legend. Oh my god, a legend. And I actually, my I Don't Think So Honey is based on something that Greta and I thought we were going to do

but did not end up doing the other day. Wait, each of you are going to do one and then I'm going to do one. That is how it works. Yay. That's true. Okay. You guys, I never want this to end. I just want to hang out with my friends. When your friend's IRL, the podcast never ends.

It's actually rule of culture number 105. When your friends IRL, the podcast never ends. Come on. I'm ready. This is Matt Rogers. I don't think so, honey. His time starts now.

I don't think so, honey. The new James Bond movie, No Time to Die, being two hours and 45 minutes long.'m sorry we got into the car to go we were all excited to go see the new james bond we found out how long it was greta and i and we turned our ass around and went home and we watched rupaul's drag race uk instead mama i cannot believe that the movie is this long in the year of our lord 2021 what have we what it's bad for the movie theaters

first of all because they can only show so many it's bad for the people sitting there it's like what do you ask people to do if you want to pay attention every second of the narrative they're not going to take a bathroom break every review of this movie is like what a great tribute to Daniel Craig like the bitch is dead I have to be honest with you

the bitch is very much alive and she is have to be honest with you. The bitch is very much alive and she is about to oversaturate us again and knives out two through nine. So please spare me with a Daniel Craig RIP in memoriam. Five seconds. Give me a 15 minute Pierce Brosnan movie where Famke Janssen kills a man with her legs. I don't think so, honey.

And that's one minute. How does it feel to spit in the face of Sir Daniel Craig? Is he now knighted? No, he's not. I was feel to spit in the face of sir daniel craig is he now knighted no he's no he's i was gonna say is he knighted well first of all i want to say he could spit in my open mouth hi yo i think that's why it's so long is because it is like a send-off and i think he he really he really did something new with bond yes he did he did he brooded and he he deserved he deserved something yeah he deserved whatever he deserved could have been given to him in two hours and even five minutes i'm just saying look two hours and 43 minutes literally we were saying if it was even a half hour shorter i think

like of course we could have gotten used to it but it was something about two hours minutes and 20 minutes of previews. I was like, that's a commitment. I don't begrudge you guys of not going to see it. I'm just saying, don't you love the drama of this movie being delayed for basically a year and eight months? Yes, for sure. And then, you know, they're still promoting it.

And, like, isn't that incredible? And then why shouldn't it be two hours and 40 minutes this movie is drama it's Bond it's camp you know like just just let it be bitch you know what though you're a fucking bitch you're a stupid bitch you're very stupid and bitch

and I read a lot of reviews for this movie in the car Greta and I really wrestled with this and I said look at the reviews and see what it says and every review was for this movie in the car. Greta and I really wrestled with this. And I said, look at the reviews and see what it says. And every review was like, this movie is fine, but wow, Daniel Craig.

And I'm like, okay, then I'll go home and watch fucking something else with Daniel Craig. That was the bad pitch where it was like, everything's predictable. You know exactly what's going to happen. This could have been cut off by 30 minutes, but like, we love minutes but like we love

daniel craig and we love what daniel craig has done with bond like on to you know how many times i've tributed daniel craig in my life for better for in so many words many times i could have a tribute i maybe i might have a tribute to daniel craig tonight if the google search does its thing oh but look what here's the thing about me. Look, here's the thing about me. I jack off. Here's the thing about me. I'm a gay man that loves to tug at my penis to completion. And when I can be visually aided by a man looking like Daniel Craig,

I am not above saying that that's not going to go down tonight. I'm jacking off to Daniel Craig tonight. I'm tributing him. And it will happen in about seven or eight minutes not two hours and 43 because after that i'm gonna watch dancing with the stars mic drop there is real potential here for new slang tributing today i paid tribute to chris pine i attributed you wait actually not today but who did you pay tribute today bowen i just i just browsed on my only fans and i just like paid tribute to like you know whatever you know caught my eye in the scroll i love do you pay tribute phone and matt both of you because when i pay tribute to people it's very quickly my tributes last about 30 seconds then I get

bored and then I need to continue paying tribute to I have a lot of tributes in my it's just to get out of the way I'm like I haven't done it in a while yeah sometimes I'll see a picture and I'll just know I have to go pay tribute yeah

like I pay tribute all the time though like I love to pay tribute yeah like i i pay tribute all the time though like i i love to pay tribute i pay tribute to my it's isn't it crazy i'm sorry this is just for for people who have penises um and ball dicks and balls it's crazy that cum comes out of there i think that's crazy all the time. There's white, white goo. It's crazy. As someone that watches it happen, I'm like, whoa. It's like science. It's like high school.

Yeah. I'm like that. What's that Chloe Bailey song? Lord, have mercy. What's that song? Yeah, whenever it happens, when I see it coming out, it's like in slow-mo.

Lord, have mercy. Yeah when I see it coming out, it's like in slow-mo. Lord, have mercy. Every single time with Abe, I'm like, Lord, have mercy. What's the most you guys have paid tribute in a day? It's different for you, Greta. Oh my God, when I was a teenager, there were a couple nights, there were a couple nights, and I would love to explore this more on the podcast.

You must. There were a couple nights when I would just be so bored and not be able to fall asleep that it would be like six in one night i've done six or seven yeah it's crazy sundays were huge for me growing up it was like a day when i would like do all right when i still have to come when i wake up pretty much every single day but like when when when you first wake up about an hour later then you actually get out of bed go back two or three more times during the day and then of course before you go to bed i also have to come before i go to bed too i jack off all the time wow i think the most i've ever attributed

in a day has been like four times yeah that's very spaced out because you know i'm blasting the sauce you know what i'm saying would you consider yourself would you consider yourself horned up I would but I would generally speaking I'm a little freak but but I think that

sometimes the world can get you down and make you not feel honey. That's beautiful, Dulcet. I think that, yeah, I think the most for me was like four times and it was when I was in high school and I was like, it's going to be creamed

corn for dinner, mother. Bowen, are you horned up? I'm generally horned up. I will reveal that I did take my first gonorrhea antibiotic shot today because a sexual partner very ethically let me know welcome to the jungle that's nice that's nice it's nice when you have someone that lets you know because i have had many and by many I mean three situations where the person has but not let me know

right and one time someone tried to like gaslight me into thinking it was me fuck that fucking sucks yeah but then a part of me was like was it me no

I mean there's no way to know and so like honestly all my interactions about it lately which they've been a couple have been very like hey does gino test a positive for this now i'm like thank you so much thank you go to the doctor take care of it and usually it was accurate information it's also i love being on and i i wish this for everyone like just to be in the place where you don't have to feel crazy about that happening. If it does, like if you get an STD or STI,

I believe is like the politically correct way to say it because the word disease is like rough charge. Um, it's charged. Um, but you know, like it's just better to just be like, this is literally something that happens when you are sexually active and it's

actually okay. And there's no need to feel shame. And it's truly the luck of the damn draw. It's Russian roulette. Every time I make love. Bowen Yang, are you ready to do your I don't think so honey? I'm ready. Well, that makes me feel excited.

Everyone in America, this is Bowen Yang's I don't think so honey. His time starts now. I don't think so honey, traditional candle wicks. Why you got to leave me with that fucking dick mushroom at the end of every burn? And I have to spend, what, $12 on a wick trimmer? I got to keep a wick trimmer around the house now? Fuck you for making me buy an extra thing. I got sick of doing it with the scissors

and then, you know, washing them and wiping them off. So now I have a fucking fucked up looking scissor on my nightstand. And I bought an extra one for the candles I keep at work. The way forward is wooden wicks. They burn lovely and they don't leave

they don't look fucked up after you use them for more than 20 seconds. Okay, let's do wood wicks. It's probably better for the environment, I'm assuming. I'm just going to go out on a limb and say that they're better for the environment. So yeah, Greta T will be happy to hear. The other Greta T.

And the wicks, you're busted. I'm on you. And that's one minute i recently i appreciate this i recently have had the experience where a traditional wick i'm lighting it the candle's still full and it won't light so these wicks are trifling these wicks are trifling anyway well i i do have a wick trimmer myself and i do find that it is a necessary evil it's unfortunate to get to the point where you're like because i for so long was like oh i'll just use a scissor i'll use a scissor but then the candle gets so deep and then you're like i need this goddamn wick trimmer like i actually i have a candle lit right now and look you can see the wick is absolutely it looks like a fucking it looks like the tree of life yeah it looks like a fucking like

you know kingdom tree the animal kingdom tree it looks like pseudo wudo the pokemon for my pokemon heads out there anyway that's a gorgeous candle this is dr Dr. Tiffany Moon. Oh my God. So do you know about Dr. Tiffany Moon's candles? She's an anesthesiologist, so they're all named after different medications. This one is Haloperidol. That's cute. These are cute candles. It says active ingredient, calmness, indications for use.

You just ran into your ex with their cute, no significant other while looking completely disheveled. Your kids have said mommy no less than a hundred times today it just took you 90 minutes to drive home from work and then warnings do not use if you love traffic always like looking polished and perfect have never typed an angry email and then deleted it a few minutes later when you like come on she's just like giving you comedy dr moon i don't know Is she writing the copy, the jokes herself? She's got a good joke room. Hmm.

A joke room. Do we know anyone who's in that? I don't know anyone who was in the Dr. Tiffany Moon candle room, but I heard it was competitive. If you're in the Dr. Tiffany Moon candle room, please step forward. Yeah. We'll give you 90 minutes on this podcast. Yeah. room please step forward yeah we'll give you 90 minutes on this podcast yeah and and i mean any any if you if you have a writer's assistant position open in the dr tiffany moon tiffany moon candle room bone will quit snl for it i will quit snl i will be the writer's assistant

i'll order lunch for everybody yes all of it we're all eating menaccino farms every day i'm sure on that budget all right so now it's time bowen thank you for that i think it was that was very good especially on a culture podcast thank you you guys this is this is the thing i now have of course like a bunch of ones that i want to do but i just think i need to do this one that i've been thinking of think of the one that you need you gotta follow your heart it cannot guide you wrong it can't it's a few things i mean i'm just gonna i'm just gonna go for it you should just pop off and whatever it is if you want to redefine the art form right now just just talk fast this is greta teitelman's i don't think

so honey her time starts now i don't think so honey being in the bathroom and having any other pump in there be anything but fucking soap okay don't give me hand lotion don't give me purell this is me right on off when i'm moist in my hands and i put my hand under that little pumper and what is it purell bitch no it needs to be soap also don't give me hand lotion who is the psychopath going into the bathroom today not only wash thoroughly dry and then pump the hand lotion no one honey okay and we don't want those people around because they're cuckoo and they scare me and here's the thing if you're putting the two bottles next to each other i don't care if it is leila herself smelling of gorgeous bergamot i do not need me getting confused because then i feel

like a dick because then i become wasteful because then what do i do hands are wet put it with the lotion accidentally oh my god lotion now i need to wipe the lotion off and re-fucking soap business and what did i do i just wasted gorgeous gorgeous lotion so here's what i'm going to say in your bathroom soap only i don't think so honey anything but soap and that's one minute incredible there's nothing worse than going to a pump it's lotion you go fuck and then you gotta clean it off with either a paper towel

or water and then you still feel oily it's crazy excuse me why also are we being so confused I think it's fine to have sanitizer and hand lotion separate from the away when you put the hand lotion separate from the, away. But when you put the hand lotion

in the spot where intuitively the soap is, then you're going to waste a lot of fucking lotion. Also, if you want to give me Purell, unless you put it at the door. Put it at the door. It doesn't belong in the bathroom. Put it at the door. Put it at the door.

Get the hand lotion away from the sink, from the running water. We don't want to use that. No, no. And it's just, it's confusing and it's cruel because then I become wasteful. And then think about this. If you didn't want to waste the lotion, maybe you put the lotion, you realize it's lotion, do that, and then you leave and don't wash your hands. I bet a lot of people make that decision.

And that's a crime. Do you want to know something fucked up that happened to me today? And this happens in different settings. But for me, it was I went to this like gym. I went to go work out in this place. And then they have like small showers. It's like an independent training spot. And then I went to the showers, three pumps, no labels.

Obviously, the opaque one, I i was like that's conditioner but then the two clear gel ones i was like am i gonna have to put these in my hand and smell to see what which one's shampoo and which one's body body wash and then i think wait does my nose know the difference between what can you decipher no and i was like i feel like a fucking idiot now and i might slather shampoo on my body and body wash my hair and i'll feel even crazier and then you'll look crazy too because body wash they can tell to go in the hair it's just not and they can just people can tell people said he just put body wash in his hair people are also very cruel cruel yes and they know that when you leave the gym they're gonna say there's that fucking flop whose nose couldn't decipher between body wash and shampoo yes and then i think is this who i am

i don't know who i am but all i know about myself is that i confuse body wash and shampoo and you can't see the forest through the trees and i can't see the forest and you know what's also we've also talked about on this podcast and it it's actually been, I don't think so, honey, I think more than once, is the 3-in-1 body wash shampoo conditioner. Get lost. I want to know that this product can stand alone as shampoo, as conditioner, as body wash. Sell it in the dorms because that's the only people who are buying them is the college kids. Don't even sell it in the dorms. Sell it at fucking REI for when you're going camping and when you're literally showering with a little bottle of water.

If I send my child to college and they feel that they need to use a three-in-one, I will have personally done a bad job as a parent. You're so right. You're so right, legend. It's true. You're so right, legend. I will have taught them badly

if you said that at a presidential debate people would have applauded if the question was about like environmental issues and you literally gave that exact tirade that you just did it would have ended like and then afterwards joy reed would have said i thought greta teyland was good. And I thought she really got her point across. Chris Hayes would be like, what Greta did was really stay on message. Yeah. And then even Chris Christie would be like,

if I'm watching her at home, I'm sending her $30. You should run. You should run. I would do it just for the outfits. Oh, girl. You think you'd put like a cute like debate look together yeah very snatched debate look yeah and then i do like you know nostalgic like fashion hat tips to like jackie o

i was like a little to show how far we've come like a pillbox hat like a fascinator talking about hair care during the debate we need that I would also do hat tips to like Abraham Lincoln maybe and wear like a gorgeous sort of slouchy

suit to look if you did like an Abraham Lincoln look to a presidential debate with a very tall hat. Bitch, if a female, if there's a female or any nominee of any gender who just dresses up like Abe Lincoln, if it makes it like glam, you're winning. You're winning the whole country. You're winning my $30.

It could be like a Tom Brown kind of creation. Oh my God, are you kidding me? Of course it could. And Tom would just nail it, you know. Tom would nail it. He just knows. He's such an eye. Oh my god.

Well, listen, I think this has been an episode that has gone deep. It's also been, it's touched on the deep elements of culture, the deep elements of the human mind. A personal history. A personal history that only family, its family episode could give.

And also it was the frivolous. It was, it was both, both the deep exploration and also the creature comforts, you know? And that's why this podcast has received critical acclaim. Well, the podcast has received critical acclaim.

And I think that the podcast. And why it's winning a Grammy. Yeah. The podcast has now become a front runner for Grammys. The ultimate acclaim. i think that why it's winning a grammy yeah the podcast has now become the ultimate acclaim yeah yeah um greta we absolutely love having you we're very excited to produce stepmom i mean like do you want to do you want to tease do you want to tease anything about it before before we absolutely go well i think look stepmom is someone who's very near and dear to my heart and you know if you've always wondered what would it be like to have a woman in my life tell me that i smell like

a rotted cabbage cunt um what would it be like to have a woman degrade me and tell me that i'm smelling like pork brine yum you're going to love her if you want to kind of just that short little episodes just like 30 minutes i've heard every episode of it i've heard all four episodes it's 30 minutes or less they're good and you know? I do think she gives very good advice. You know, if you just want to be living life, spending coin that's not yours, it's much easier to do, you know? I don't know.

But I don't know because she and I are very different lives, different entities, different people. But she's very fun and special. Well, that's dropping in 22. In 22. We end every episode with a song. Greta, thank you so much for coming. We love you so much.

Oh my God, thank you so much for having me. It's really an honor. The last time I did this podcast was like, I think like five years ago. And we like really did not know each other as well as we do now, obviously. But like we really have grown just exponentially

closer. One might say the seed was planted and now the roots have taken hold. Have taken hold. You're not taking her out the ground. Love you. La familia. La familia. We end every episode with a song. It feels like

a perfect night. Breakfast at midnight. I was going to say breakfast at midnight. I love strangers. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Yeah. We're happy, happy, happy.

We're the lonely and the best way. It's miserable and magical. Oh, yeah. Tonight's the night we forget about the heartbreaks. It's time. Uh-oh. Well, to hear more of that, we have to wait until November 19th to ethically stream the new Taylor Swift thread.

Bye. Bye. Bye. I'm NK and this is basket case. What is wrong with me? A show about the ways that mental illness is shaped by not just biology swaps of different meds, but by culture and society. By looking closely at the conditions that cause mental distress,

I find out why so many of us are struggling to feel sane, what we can do about it, and why we should care. Oh, look at you giving me therapy, girl. Listen to Basket Case every Tuesday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Gracias Come Again, a podcast by Honey German, where we get real and dive straight into todo lo actual y viral. We're talking música, los premios, el chisme, and all things trending in my cultura.

I'm bringing you all the latest happening in our entertainment world and some fun and impactful interviews with your favorite Latin artists, comedians, actors, and influencers. Each week, we get deep and raw life stories, combos on the issues that matter to us, and it's all packed with gems, fun, straight-up comedia, and that's a song that only nuestra gente can sprinkle. Listen to Gracias Come Again on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hey, friends. I'm Jessica Capshaw. And this is Camilla Luddington. And we have a new podcast, Call It What It Is. You may know us from Graceland Memorial, but did you know that we are actually besties in real life? And as all besties do, we navigate the highs and lows of life together. Big or small, we're there. And now here we are, opening up the friendship circle to you listen to call it what it is on the iHeartRadio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts stick to sports

shut up and dribble despite what some people believe sports and politics have mixed from the beginning now you have a podcast that isn't afraid to explore the complicated relationship between sports and politics with a new podcast called Spolitics with me, Jemele Hill. I'll be discussing political, social, and economic issues through the lens of sports with some of the biggest names and smartest people. So here's the assignment.

Listen to Spolitics on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Let's get Spolitical.