Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - "Ladies of the Canyon" (w/ Ned Riseley & Rachel Wenitsky)

Episode Date: February 27, 2019

In a truly inebrious episode of Las Culturistas, Matt and Bowen are joined by fellow ladies of the canyon, Ned Riseley and Rachel Wenitsky of Friends Who Folk. They cement themselves as part of the traumedy canon by discussing "being an Orlando Bitch", what Ned's deal is, Joni Mitchell, and alt kids.---MERCH! MERCH! GET YOUR LAS CULTURISTAS MERCH!https://www.teepublic.com/stores/las-culturistasLAS CULTURISTAS HAS A PATREON! For $5/month, you get exclusive access to WEEKLY Patreon-ONLY Las Culturistas content!!https://www.patreon.com/lasculturistasSUBSCRIBE ON APPLE PODCASTS TODAY!CONNECT W/ LAS CULTURISTAS ON FACEBOOK & TWITTER for the best in "I Don't Think So, Honey" action, updates on live shows, conversations with the Las Culturistas community, and behind-the scenes photos/videos:www.facebook.com/lasculturistastwitter.com/lasculturistasLAS CULTURISTAS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST. LAS CULTURISTAS IS PRODUCED BY EMMA FOLEY.http://foreverdogproductions.com/fdpn/podcasts/las-culturistas/ Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This fall on Bravo. It's time to turn up. Think you've seen it all? I don't think you've been a good friend to me lately. We're friends like that, who needs enemies? You ain't seen nothing yet. Cheers to being Germanic. With the Real Housewives of Potomac.

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You broke the rules and now you're here getting upset. Watch all new seasons on Bravo or stream it on City TV+. Let's have a real good time. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind-the-scenes stories, crazy details, and honestly, just having a blast talking football. Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all

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Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty, and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13

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On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home, and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami? Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Forever! Dog! Look, Matt. Where? Oh, I see. Wow. Bowen, look over there. Wow, is that culture? Yes. Oh, my goodness. Wow. Bowen, look over there. Wow, is that culture?

Yes. Oh, my goodness. Wow. Las Culturistas. Ding dong, Las Culturistas calling. Listen, here's the fact. We were over here on the car, and we were thinking and talking about our guests.

Oh. We said, what are we even going to talk to them about? Nothing. No, just, and then we laughed and laughed. And then we laughed and laughed, because what a joke that was. Because there is a wealth of things to cover. When I sat down, I had a thought.

And I actually told everyone in the room that I had a thought. And I said that I would wait to say the thought until the podcast started. Do you have it? And it's now started and I can reveal the thought that I had. Please. I'm very excited because I can talk about Orlando on this episode. When? What forbade you? And you don't know. What precluded you from talking about Orlando on this episode. When? What forbade you? And you don't know. Precluded you from talking

about Orlando on the other one. Often we have a guest that's not an Orlando bitch. This is an Orlando bitch. And I feel that at least one of our guests, because there are plural guests in the studio. I don't claim to think

or assume that's just because someone comes on this podcast that they're an Orlando bitch, but I know for a fact we have at least one Orlando bitch in the studio. It's rude when you're not an Orlando bitch and you sort of know that we are Orlando bitches. And I feel like the potentially non-Disney bitch of the two of our guests should have known that.

But I think they have, I think they have a very, I don't want to say they have a theme park energy, but I can picture the other guests who's not the confirmed Orlando bitch, I can picture them very vividly in a theme park and think they'd have a nice time. And chomp on a turkey.

But maybe not too scary rides. Chomp, chomp. Huh? I find that this person is very sensitive. Gentle. And I wouldn't want to put them on a turkey leg. But maybe not too scary rides. I find that this person is very sensitive. Gentle. And I wouldn't want to put them on a ride with like a loud sound. No. That might be a real thing to deal with later on.

He would scream. He would scream. It's actually rule of culture number 88. When loud things happen, people may scream. I think that is so true. I have to reveal something to you. And this might be hard to hear.

Oh, no. But one of our guests, and right after this, I'm going to bring them in and she can explain herself to you. Okay. One of our guests, the Orlando bitch, has begun to start plans with me about going to Disneyland together in Los Angeles, California. Stop doing that.

That's me crying. That's the sound of my tears hitting the floor. Stop this claptrap. Your heavy, heavy tears. Wow. And unfortunately, you will be in another state and not able to join us. No. You guys, why would you do this?

Because she asked. Look, it's fine. Like, you and I have different relationships with the confirmed Orlando bitch. Like, you guys get to go to Disneyland together. I am on a text thread with her called Club Ass, formerly titled Ass Births, where we update each other on our daily poops. Right. And she is a huge... You're right, that's not the kind of fun I like to have.

She is a huge part of my life in that way. And... Your ass life. My ass life. And then the other guest, the unconfirmed Orlando bitch, I have loved since the first time I saw him. To be honest with you, he's one of those people that you see him and then you ask. What do you ask?

You're like, what's the deal with him? Then you find out loving relationship. And you move on. And how was that for you? Easy. Yeah. Not that I don't think he's fantastic. It's just like, you don't have to tell me twice.

But it doesn't surprise you, right? You're like, of course I've spoken for him. Oh, I wasn't think he's fantastic. It's just like, you don't have to tell me twice. But it doesn't surprise you, right? You're like, of course I've spoken for him. Oh, I wasn't surprised at all. And it doesn't like hit you. It's not like a kick in the gut, a punch in the gut. You're like, no. No, it was like a tickle on the shoulder. It was like, he has a boyfriend.

I was like, okay, yeah, for sure. Checks out. You know. So talented. So talented. Both of them, not just one. And then the confirmed Orlando bitch. Incredible.

Married to one of our favorite people. Changed my life. And then she changed my life. No, she didn't. She and I were, we'll talk about this. Listen, and not to like, not to like reference these people

in terms of, in relation to their partners, their significant others. Oh, of course. They have full, complete, full lives on their own, and that's confirmed. This, and we're going to hear some songs today. That's the reason why we're back in Hot Engineer

Ronnie's studio is we, in the studio, we're going to hear their songs. I love their music so much. And can I say something? What? Do you know how every time we come to Hot Engineer Ronnie's studio he's always playing like a really good jam? Yeah.

He wasn't playing a good jam today, but that's because the guests were rehearsing one of their jams. And so canonically, we're still… We're still in that space. Yeah. I remember Hot Engineer Ronnie played SZA Control like the week it came out. And I was like, is this that new SZA album?

And he was like, yeah. And I was like, it's really fucking good. And then, of course, I asked like, what's Ronnie's deal? And you were like, is this that new SZA album? And he was like, yeah. And I was like, it's really fucking good. And then, of course, I asked, what's Ronnie's deal? And you were like, no. And I was like, okay, cool. And I moved on immediately. Well, because you and I were both like, Ronnie plays Carly Rae Jepsen songs.

I was like, what's up with that? Is he a friend of Dorothy? Friend of Dorothy? In Clueless? Is he in the Mattakeen Society? Is he in the Mattakeen Society? Is he in the Mattakeen Society? Is he a Barbra Streisand ticket holder? Oh, now we're back to Clueless.

Yeah. But Ronnie is not. No. Which is fine. And I love that. We love that. We celebrate that. I love all my straight friends.

Now, I love the music so much from our guests I can't wait to experience our guests live in the studio musically and you can listen to their album Friends Who Folk it's a self titled album Spotify, iTunes Apple Music wherever streaming

happens they perform all over the city they are called Friends Who Folk please give it up for Rachel Wineski and Ned Risely. Hi. What a kooky intro. I don't think it was kooky. It was so up and down and all around.

I felt like I was on a dark ride. Wow. Now you, how dare you go behind my back and plan this. Ned, did you know about this? I know about what? This Disneyland trip that they're planning. Oh, I did not know about it yet. I've told no one.

I am not an Orlando bitch. I will just say that. Will you never be? You don't have to be nervous about saying it. I could be. I think I could. I definitely have enjoyed Orlando. You've dabbled in Orlando.

I've dabbled in college. When was the last time you went? I think I was little. Yeah, that was your first mistake. So I don't know. Yeah, I haven't quite seen it as an adult. So I don't know what my response would be. I'm giving Bowen a knowing look.

When I see kids at theme parks, I think they're going to regret being kids. Oh, yeah. At this moment. Well, I think they— Just in general. I recently did an I Don't Think So Honey Kids at the Magic Kingdom.

I don't think they should be there. I don't think it's for them. It's not for them. Wait, I feel like this is where maybe we disagree because I feel like Magic Kingdom is the one place that is for kids. And the rest of them aren't. I like to describe Universal Studios

as a theme park for adults. I think that you're not that's not inaccurate have you heard about the new Harry Potter coaster that they're building of course

no it's bullshit because now Matt will say it's gonna be there's gonna be a coaster it's one of the most highly themed

coasters it is supposed to be really highly themed what does that mean it's inside it's inside and outside I think it's gonna be like. I think it's going to be

like the mummy ride. It's going to be very that. And there's seven launches. I'm just telling you, literally, be as much of a freak as I am and go on YouTube and look at the construction.

The blogs are really excited about it. And that's the thing. I'm so proud of you. Can I say that I'm so proud of you? The trades are popping off. The trades are a buzz. The trades are a buzz. Wait, can I ask you a question?

What's keeping you from going back to Orlando now? I don't think, yeah, it's not like an act. I don't think it's an active aversion to it. The opportunity just hasn't arisen. But if you guys invite it. Well, you have to make your own opportunities. If you come to LA in February, we will go to all the parks together. That's the plan is that we're going to go. When, you have to make your own opportunities. Right, I know. If you come to LA in February, we will go to all the parks together.

That's the plan is that we're going to go. When are you there again? First three weeks of Feb. Okay, so we're definitely going. I want to do Disney. I went to

Knott's Berry Farm last time I was there. I heard that's fun. What's that? Well, it's like it is a berry themed theme park.

About berries? It's whole thing is berries? Yes. It's like… It is a berry themed theme park. About berries? Its whole thing is berries? Yes. It's like fruit. I don't like that at all. I think I would like that. It started as like a pie shop. And then there was a really, really long line for the pie shop.

So the guy… Not Mr. Knot, I guess, was like… Don Knot. Don Knot. Was like, I'm going to put up some attractions to keep the people in line for these berry pies. I guess was like Don Knotts Don Knotts was like I'm gonna put up some attractions to keep the people

in line for these berry pies that my wife makes busy and then Disneyland opened and he was like oh that seems like a good idea

and just grew it into a theme park this is staggering yeah you might surpass me as the theme park bitch well oh my god

the guy without a shirt on his back across the street. Oh my God. Wait, this is huge. There is a guy across the street from us who is purely naked. Purely. Oh, he's putting on deodorant. Yes, daddy. I think he knows we can see.

He's also bouncing up and down and bopping around. Are you guys exhibitionists? Wow. Okay. I mean, in that I have been naked and continue to be naked in my own home. Yeah. But not like in a window. I wouldn't want a stranger to see me in my window.

Are you commonly nude in the house in front of your partner? Like, look at me, look at me. Not really. Yeah. When I'm nude, I say, avert your me. Not really. Yeah. When I'm nude, I say… Avert your eyes. And I… No one's ever seen me fully nude.

I always have one very sort of… A leaf. A leaf or like a really thin silk scarf that's draped around just so. Yes. I love that. I always have like a light film over me. Oh. Wow.

Like a dirty… It's like an extremely dirty… It's an extremely dirty, very light coat. Just dirty enough to never be nude. And it's see-through. So there really is no reason for me to… I love that. It's like a dirty gown.

Dirty nightgown. A dirty nightgown. I love that. I actually love that for you. Oh yeah, I do that. Do you know what…. I love that. It's like a dirty gown. Dirty nightgown. A dirty nightgown. I love that. I actually love that for you. Oh yeah, I do that. Do you know what? I definitely do that. Do you know what my mom

got me for Christmas? What? A bathrobe. That's a nice job. That's really nice. Yeah, she wants you to experience luxury. Yeah.

And I have been. Yeah. Is it like a fluffy nightrobe or like a terrycloth? It's luxe. It's luxe. It's luxe. Okay. Okay.

It's on a ground there. It actually says, it says on the, it's, oh man. What's the name of that place where the Countess Luan, her husband cheated on her at this place? I have no idea. The Marriott. No, it's like, but it says the name of that hotel. Mandarin Oriental? No, it's like, but it says the name of that hotel. Mandarin Oriental?

No, it's not that. The Knott's Berry Farm Snoopy Hotel? We can float away from this. I don't remember the name of the place. Gay Hostel. I'm just saying it's going to be very hard to be there with Rachel and have to, you know. I'm so mad. I don't want to hurt you.

So I want to monitor my Instagramming. While we're there, though, I'll keep you apprised of all my shits. Yes. So Rachel and I are on this thread together. I didn't update the thread about the time that I shot into the plastic bag though. I can't believe. I was too embarrassed. You know what I realized is that –

So Bone and I are also doing Whole30 together. Yes. And we're on a Whole30 text thread and a shit text thread. But now we're, we text each other for everything that goes into our body and also everything

that comes out. That's beautiful. Is that a lot? Is that too much? I don't think so. Do you, are you someone who talks about their poops?

Ever since I've met Rachel, certainly, definitely. You're shy about poop stuff, I think. I'm a little shy. Rachel's a very fecal person. Yeah. I always really respect

when someone just talks about their shit. I actually… Like, I always think it's really cool. I think it's badass. No, I deeply hate it. I just took a shit.

But then why don't you do it for yourself? I do. You know, I just have to wander in. You know, I have to be kind of trusting. Yeah, but I wish I could just be like

balls to the wall. Balls to the wall. Balls to the wall. Shit to wander in. You know, I have to be kind of trusting. Yeah, but I wish I could just be like balls to the wall. Balls to the wall. Shit to the brick. I'm not like… I wish I could be like the guy across. Yeah, the guy who just took his shirt off and took his shit in the window. What if we took our clothes off for him? I thought you were kind of…

I thought you were kind of entering into the discussion that we all kind of do some strip poker. That would be crazy for the listeners to know that we were all nude. We did an episode where when Josh and Aaron came for their first episode, we all took our shirts off. That's cute. We did the whole episode shirtless for no reason. It was because at that point, everyone was wearing hats. Oh, yeah. I think you…

Your first time that… Because you are a two-time guest now. Yes. That's true. And so the first time that you were here, did we demand that you wear a hat? I don't think so. I don't think we…

We wore a hat for the picture. For the picture. Yeah. And I mean the first live, I don't think so, honey, was a hat. Yes. The hats were still very much part of the brand. Yes.

I looked so bad in that hat. Oh, I looked terrible in that hat. It was a big like musketeer hat. It was like a feather. Oh, yes. I think you would look stunning in the hat. I think it would actually suit you. Yeah, it would.

I think so. Yeah. Now, tell us about how you two met and the journey that brought you to Friends Who Folk. And have you guys ever folked? Please tell us. Well, similarly, when I met Nat, I was like, what's his deal? And then everyone was like, you're in a long-term relationship. And I was like, oh.

It couldn't work. And that's the only reason that we haven't folked. That's the only reason why it couldn't have worked. And no other reason. Yeah. Yes. We met at the Williamstown Theater Festival in Massachusetts. Hot.

Hot. I feel like I have to apologize whenever I say that. I know. Why? I met at a theater festival. It's very esteemed. It's the best. It is a very esteemed festival.

We were both in plays. And yeah, we were kind of the people who like wanted to drink the most. I think that's how we found each other. Yeah. This side of Rachel. And people really want to drink there. But you guys really wanted to drink. Or we wanted to take it a little less seriously, I think. There were a lot of grad school actors.

Yeah, a lot of My Body is a Temple. Yeah, bless them. But yeah, they treat their bodies were a lot of grad school actors yeah which my body is a temple yeah bless them but yeah they treat their bodies with a lot of respect and we were kind of the people there who wanted to absolutely destroy our bodies and from that Rachel was like you should do comedy yeah oh yeah you had never done comedy and I was like that's crazy comedy is the most lucrative yeah you said there's money there's a lot of money in comedy. I was like, it seems like you're kind of on the track to become a Broadway actor and things are really

going well for you. Why don't you start doing musical stand-up with me again? But it's truly the best thing that's out there in my opinion. I think it's the best thing that's out there and I feel like we should just expose the listeners right now. Let's have Rachel

and Ned sing a song. Can you sing us a song? We would love to. Well, this is from the album or is this not? This is not on the album. It is from after we released. We released an album a few months ago

and we then wrote this song as soon as the album was done. Well, the creative process never stops. It never stops. It's actually real culture number 93. The creative process never stops. Never stops and never sleeps. No. And so, tell us…

Do you want to talk about this song before you start singing it? This is a song about self-care. Oh, yeah. We love that. Great. We love that a lot. And this is Friends Who Folk. Life can be hard. Sometimes you need to unwind. I have an end-of-day routine to clear my mind.

I turn off the lights, silence my phone. Cause this is a time when I am finally alone. I lay down and close my eyes. And then I think about everything I've ever done wrong. I think about everything I've ever done wrong. I think about everything I've ever done wrong. I remember all my faults and relive them in my head. And then at 3 a.m. I can finally go to bed. Ned, what do you think about at night? I think about the time in second grade when I threw up on the art table. The teacher was showing us what we were gonna draw and I threw up on her picture I could have vomited on the floor, but I threw up on the picture instead

Mrs. Caggiano, I'm sorry about your picture I think about it every night, it keeps me awake I lay down and close my eyes and then I think about everything I've ever done wrong, I think about everything I've ever done wrong, I start at the beginning and go year by year and at 4am I pass out

Rachel, do you want to tell us what you think about it? Yes! I think about the time a girl in high school told everyone that she thought I was gay and the reason she that she thought I was gay And the reason she gave was that I was too obsessed with Sandra Bullock in the movie Two Weeks Notice That's not something I did wrong, that is something she did wrong But I'm the one who thinks about that every single night

I think about all the things I can't control And how I could have controlled them. I think about all the things that can't be fixed and I try to fix them by thinking about them really hard. I lay down and close my eyes And then I think about everything I think about everything I scroll through Twitter for seven hours And at 6 a.m. I go to work

At work I still feel really bad I think about the time I peed myself at camp I think about the time I slept with a guy Who I knew was bad but I fucked him for a year I think about how I'm not the only one in the world guy who I knew was bad, but I fucked him for a year. I think about how I'm not the only one in the world, and then I feel bad because the world is bad. I think about how climate change is real. I think about the military-industrial complex.

I think about the fact that 53% of white women voted for Trump. Whoops. I think about the future when I am dead, and I wonder, will worms eat my eyes? Will worms eat my eyes? Will worms eat my eyes? Will worms eat my eyes? Mmm. Oh my God. It's my favorite song. Thank you.

It's so good. It's my favorite song. It's truly phenomenal. Wait, can I ask you a question? Yeah. This might sound weird. How does it feel to know, like, you are so talented? I don't know.

I could ask you the same question, babe. Don't deflect. Don't you dare. I'm not in the hot seat on the hot seat. You two have such great voices. Such great writing. I mean, it's all there. The musicality.

Yeah. Thank you so much. Yeah, I think we initially, like like nerded over our love for music. And then it became like funny, our interest in it. Like we both, when we were first friends, like would laugh about how we knew really like obscure Joni Mitchell songs. And whenever we saw each other, we would kind of sing a little bit of Ladies of the Canyon or something. Ladies of the Canyon. So it grew out of like a really genuine love of folk music.

Oh my God. Yeah. Also like I'm such like a study – like I love to like be really prepared for things. I love – like I think that's why stand up, even though I did it a few times and like enjoyed it, it was never the thing that I wanted to do because I love to come being so prepared, like a little Hermione Granger. Yes.

And this is the thing that I know that we can put a lot of work into and that it pays off because the music is good and not, like, shitty comedy music. It's always going to be a known quantity wherever you go. Right. But that is just a testament to your writing in this container, which is like, it's a song. It's good. The jokes are landing in the right places. It's hitting the audience's ear in the right places.

That's a reason I like to do music too, is because I know what it is. You know what I mean it's not like it's what you're saying it's not like literally the word I want to write is

inebrious that can't be right I don't know I don't think that's a word what you're trying to say inebriated it's not like drunk can I tell you what

I love about what you do it's not inebrious it's not that's what I've always said inebrious what is it what am I trying to say? Amorphous.

Oh. I know you. I see you. You do. You do. It's not amorphous. It's not inebrious. Can you believe inebrious could be a word?

Your first and only language. Wait, this is like really, really recently. I was trying to think of the word for thesaurus and I kept just thinking pictionary over and over and over again. You stupid idiot. I was like, I have to look up. I need a new word

for this. I need to look it up in a pictionary. Wow. HPE, are you looking up if inebrius is a word? No. No. I thought that she pulled her phone out to do this stupid fucking thing. HPE are you looking up if inebrius is a word no no I thought that she like pulled her phone out to like

do this stupid fucking thing and she was literally just texting just living her life she was probably texting get on this

get on this is inebrius is a word if not we need to call someone and make it a word I think the way you define inebrius

is to be able to be drunk anywhere. I'm not. Like, I am inebrius. I would say that you're inebrius. I've seen you drunk in lots of places. We've been drunk across the country together. We have. Yes.

In Chicago. In Canada. In Austin. Oh, I didn't go to Austin. We didn't go to Austin together. But I have been. Oh, no. We went to Austin together. We went to Austin Oh, I didn't go to Austin. We didn't go to Austin together. But I have been… Oh, no. We went to Austin together.

We went to Austin together. I didn't go back with you. Oh, I didn't… Yeah, no. I was very… I was extremely inebrious in Austin every time I go. Wait, Ned. Have you ever been drunk in Austin?

I've never been to Austin. And I don't drink. No, I do. I do drink. I think you would… I think Ned is on his way to being inebrious. Do you know what I'm saying? Thanks so much.

I've learned so much about myself on this podcast. I'm sensitive. I don't like loud noises. I'm on my way to inebriate. They feel kind of contradictory. Oh my God, wait. People ask what your deal is. Stop, stop, stop.

We've put a lot on Ned, I think. Well, we have to ask Ned the question. Yes. But what we're going to say is we're going to put more on you. Okay. So, we've already talked to her about this on her episode. We've already had a discussion with Rachel. I want to revisit this with her later, though. Well, you can do whatever you want. It's your show.

But what I want to do is ask Ned the question. Yes. Now go on. The question is what is the culture that made you say, culture is for me? It's the pop culture in your life that was defining this could be any form of culture. And it really is very open to interpretation how you answer this, Ned. A book, a movie, a play. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think actually Jodie Mitchell is like a weird and like a weirdly early touchstone for me. Like I was like an eight-year-old who loved Joni. Like it was bizarre. You're so lucky. It was very strange. No. Like I knew all the words to blue when I was like 10. Like I was wearing like overalls and I had like a necklace.

I was already a lady of the canyon. Yes. So I think that was my way. Maybe not into pop culture, but into some kind of culture. That's pop culture. Yeah, it is pop culture. Maybe a good title of this ep would be Ladies of the Canyon. Oh my God.

That would be a dream come true. Or Foking. Or Foking. Foking and Ebreus. Or Enebreus. Enebreusoking. Or Foking. Foking and Nebrius. Or and Nebrius. And Nebrius. I love that. On his way to a Nebrius.

I love that. We gotta talk about Joni. Can we talk about Joni a little bit? What's your favorite Joni material? Joni. Yeah what's my favorite Joni album? Do you love… I've been listening to like older Joni lately.

Or I got off her for a bit too. Because I OD'd right it was so scary I found him yeah I was just yeah

I just had it on Courtney's bark this sounds really scary Rachel what happened when you found that Ned had overdosed on Joni Mitchell and tell us

walk us through the whole thing well just as a disclaimer this joke is in really bad taste it joke is in really bad taste it's already in really bad taste I'm not saying it's about to be more in bad taste but just the fact that it was made in the first place

I think is on my part very bad taste but as we said this is Howard Stern that's something we said before we started rolling is that what you say rolling? yeah when we began rolling and I vibe is how you say rolling yeah rolling when we began rolling when we began rolling and i said let's all say something

super problematic and i'm happy that we've gotten there only 26 minutes checked one box um but yeah i just like walked in on ned he he was like on the. In a pile of his own Joni outfits. You never told me that part. He was just he was because he had listened to a bunch of later Joni after he kind of walked away. Gravelly voice. Once the smoking had really taken over.

You can't do too much. I think that the newer version of Both Sides Now is more beautiful. It's really beautiful. It is beautiful. It makes me kind of sad. It's too sad. I can't quite listen to it.

It's a very sad song. Yeah. I will die from both sides now. Well, it's because when she wrote it, it was like, okay, beautiful song. And then when she did it when she was older, I was like, okay, now you're on the other side. Right. Yeah, you got to the other side of the cloud. I love her so much.

She was also really formative for me. And I think, I feel like the way that Joni Mitchell to me, like was my pop culture, was that being a huge Joni Mitchell, Crosby, Sills, Nash & Young, etc. fan as a very young kid, was like, this solidifies that I will not be like the other girl. I was like, I'm not going to be cool because this is what I like to listen to. Wow. But then, you know, found my people.

There you go. Yeah. Joni is that thing though where it's like, it's like a North Star for a lot of people. It's like, I mean, it's like, yeah, it's like it's like a North Star for a lot of people. It's like I mean it's like yeah it's like you guys said earlier

like it's how you guys you guys found each other and like I think she just my favorite thing about Joni is that she makes you

she makes you more human by listening to it. Yeah she definitely is. It's it's she's a poet. She's a poet. She's a poet. Yeah.

Her lyrics are unrivaled. So good. And California? Yeah. One of my favorite songs of all time. Beautiful. All of Court and Spark. All of Court and Spark.

All of Ladies of the Canyon. Ladies of the Canyon. I just cannot overstate how much I love that song. Yeah. And it is a funny song. Trina wears her on Bambi. Yeah, when we were first becoming friends, we would just sing like really dumb lines

from that song to each other. Like… And all our fat and none our thin. All our fat and none our thin. Did you start writing your material while you were at W-Town? Or did that continue? Because what happened was your theater festival ended and you said, we must stay in deep touch.

Yeah. Yeah, we stayed in deep touch. Like for anyone who doesn't know Williamstown, it's like we're touching each other physically, very deeply. Like Joni would touch you. But Williamstown is like, what, three months, two and two and a half months yeah you guys were gone for a long you're like a way reality yeah you're sleeping in like an un-air-conditioned dorm room in a twin-size bed and you're with the same like 15 people every second of life danner is there yeah wow uh who else who like cuckoo was there cynthia noo was there?

Cynthia Nixon was there while we were… It was like just the weirdest. You're like, oh, I'm at the local coffee shop with Cynthia Nixon. But you get like really close to people and it's crazy. And then you come out and it's like you've been through a war together. There's a cult like… Yeah. It is a cult. So we got out and we were like…

We got out. We finally got out. Yeah. It is a cult. So we got out and we were like… We got out. We finally got out. Yeah. And you… Yeah. And then I got… I got asked to do a show that was about like political stuff. And I was like…

I was like, come write a song with me about politics. And we'll sing our song about politics. And then it went well. And we were like, we should keep doing this. Yeah. It happened kind of accidentally. Or like, yeah, someone was like, what are you called?

And we had to like think of a name. Yeah. Can you explain the name Friends Who Folk? It's a pun. It's a pun on fucking. Yeah. Oh. And it's like friends who fuck.

I'm inebrious. Friends who fuck. I'm sorry. I'm a little inebrious. You're getting a little belligerent and inebrious. Sorry. I'm inebrious. I'm sorry, I'm a little inebrious. You're getting a little belligerent and inebrious. Sorry, Matt's inebrious. He's just drunk everywhere. He's drunk everywhere. At this moment, ATM.

With a Pictionary in hand. You, but then my favorite folking pun is folking lessons, which I think was the name of the show. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. That was our show where only 20 people came and Bowen, pun is Foking Lessons, which I think was the name of the show. Oh my god, that was our show where only 20 people came and Bowen, and Bowen was the only person laughing. No, it was such a good show.

No, but that was the most generous thing that a friend has ever done for me. Come to my show where truly the only people there were like my mom. And your mom? My mom. Yeah, both of your parents were there. Our like my mom. And your mom? My mom. Yeah. Both of your parents were there. Our moms were there.

And weirdly like a table of industry. It was a great show. And then Bellen who laughed so loud and it was so nice. It's my favorite step. I remember the first time I saw, it wasn't even called Friends Who Folk at that point, but it was you two put a video up on Facebook of you guys singing We Are Friends, but we don't have sex. But we don't have sex.

And I was like, this is the funniest thing I've ever seen. My favorite was the first thing we did. Yeah. But then like the Friends Who Folk as it is iterated now is like through that political show. I think so, yeah. That was like when we wrote it

and then when we wrote our first song and then we just kept writing. Yeah, it was like people asking wrote it and then when we wrote our first song and then we just kept writing. And then we did Blythe. Yeah. Yeah. It was like people asking each of us to do shows and. Hopping on. Yeah, we would hop on and it became a thing. Yeah.

Started with a political song and then we just started writing dumber and dumber songs until here we are. And of course, we all have our roots in writing dumb songs together. It's true. The three of us anyway. Yeah. When Ned was very young. Yeah, Ned hadn't even been born yet.

Yeah, I think I saw the last show when I was three years old. Pop Roulade feels like actually another lifetime. We are not the same people. Which is funny. I saw you guys at Union Hall. I do think it was like late in the game.

Yeah, when we were doing our live… Our full band shows. Yeah. You know what's crazy? That those were… Those popular shows that we did at Union Hall were never like crazy well attended. I know. I go to shows…

I feel like every show I go to at Union Hall now is sold out. And I'm like… Did Union Hall kind of like pop off in the last two years? I don't know. I still… We always do our monthly show at Union Hall and I love that venue so much. And also, we've done shows there that had a lot of people and shows where there were truly no people. And I don't know what, that just might be us though. I did a show there a year ago with Sam Taggart and five people came.

What show was that? It was Derbys. Derbys. Oh my God. And we were not clear about what the show was. And we patched it together at the last second. And it was a crazy show. I liked that you guys announced that you had a show called Derbys

and that no one knew what it was. And gave no information. I like this idea, this new thing of creating a show that doesn't have an identity and saying, buy tickets to this. Edie Monica does that. I love her. She'll announce like, hi, come to my new show. My butts smell like ass.

My butts smell like shit. And you're like, what is this? That feels very our brand as well. It is. My butt smell like shit. My butt smell like shit. My butt smell like shit. Edie's amazing. She opened up.

You weren't there, but she opened up for my last Christmas show. She did the funniest fucking character. And speaking of openers for my Christmas show also. Friends Who Phone. True. And I was on the side thinking, this is the comedy that I want to see in the world. The Real Housewives of New York City are back for another bite

of the Big Apple. Look who it is. Joined by elite new friends. Rebecca Minkoff. Have you ever heard of her? But things could change in a New York Minute. She had this wild night and ended up getting pregnant by some other guy. What?

You've told her? Not today, Satan. Not today. The Real Housewives of New York City. All new Tuesdays at 9 on Bravo or stream it on City TV+. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. Guess what, folks? We're teammates again.

And we're going to welcome you guys all To Dudes on Dudes I'm a dude You're a dude And Dudes on Dudes Is our brand new show We're gonna highlight players Peers Guys that we played against

Legends from the past And we're just gonna sit here and talk about them And we'll get into the types of dudes What kind of types of dudes are there, Grunks? We got studs Wizards We got freaks Or dudes, dude

We got dogs Dogs We'll break down their games We'll share some insider stories We got studs, wizards. We got freaks. Or dudes dude. We got dogs. Dogs. We'll break down their games. We'll share some insider stories and determine what kind of dude each of these dudes are. Is Randy Moss a stud or a freak? Is Tom Brady a dog or a dudes dude? We're going to find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season.

Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty, and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists.

We talk about guilt, shame, body image, and huge life transformations. I was a desperate, delusional dreamer. And the desperate part got me in a lot of trouble. I encourage delusional dreamers. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate, delusional dreamer. I just had such an anger. I was just so mad at life.

Everything that wasn't right was everybody's fault but mine. I had such a victim mentality. I took zero accountability for anything in my life. I was the kid that if you asked what happened, I immediately started with everything but me. It took years for me to break that, like years of work. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, a five-year-old boy floated alone in the ocean. He had lost his mother trying to reach Florida from Cuba. He looked like a little angel. I mean, he looked so fresh. And his name, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere. Elian Gonzalez. Elian Gonzalez.

Elian. Elian. Elian Gonzalez. At the heart of the story is a young boy and the question of who he belongs with. His father in Cuba.

Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or his relatives with him. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. At the heart of it all is still this painful family separation. Something that as a Cuban, I know all too well. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian González story, as part of the My Cultura podcast network, available on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I, okay, I need to ask, we need to ask, we need to talk more about Joni. Ned, Joni, Joni over Carol. Bringing it back to Joni. Joni over Carol. Joni over Carol, yeah. I mean, I love Carol King.

I'm doing this thing though, where I'm pitting women. You're pitting women against each other. And it is toxic. You're right. You're right. Never mind. I take that back. Did you see the musical Beautiful?

I didn't. I did. I did. Beautiful is the Orlando theme parks of Broadway shows. I want to see it. How dare you say that when King Kong is just streets over. I want to see that. I want to see King Kong really bad actually. I really want to see it. How dare you say that when King Kong is just streets over. I want to see that. I really want to see King Kong too.

Let's go to King Kong. Ben Moss told me it's scary. I heard it's scary. Because the Kong is so big. It's a big Kong. He's a huge fucking Kong. That show has a huge Kong. He terrorizes the city. I heard the Kong is absolutely huge.

And I even hear the Kong so big and so unwieldy that sometimes the Kong will malfunction. How does the Kong work? That's very Orlando. It goes like this. Is it a puppet? I think it is. It's like a puppet slash animatronic. It's not an actor.

It is. No, because it's huge. You've done the Reign of Kong. Oh, Universal. You've done the Universal. The Crystal Skull. Wait, isn't it? Skull Island Reign of Kong.

You've done that, right? Yes, yes. Okay, with the big ass King Kong at the end? Yes. That's gaggy. That was the Kong. The Kong at the end? Yes. That's gaggy. That was the gong. The gong. The gong at the end is a gag.

Wait, that gong was so big. No, that gong is huge. I don't quite remember the gong. Oh, it's because you were inebrious. The rest of the ride didn't do it for me, though. No, because it's too many screens. Hashtag too many screens. Hashtag too many screens.

And also, the car is so big. The van or whatever is so big that you can be sitting in the middle of it. And then you like can't see out the window. That's a thing. Do you like Star Wars, Ned? I do. You know that Disney World's getting Star Wars land. Oh.

Yeah, so maybe that would be a good opportunity. I could get into that. I could get into the park for you. There's going to be a ride where you get on the Millennium Falcon. Oh, that's what I've wanted to do since I was a little boy I bet yeah

I bet being a fan of Star Wars that you wanted to get on that thing I'm ready yeah you're ready do you guys need a moment

do you guys need a moment yeah honestly what's his deal he's taken oh sorry I'm over it a little tingle on

the shoulder tickle a tickle shoulder tickle have you done Avatar no oh my god it is a go

guys is it wait have you seen the movie Avatar yeah of course okay great then you would love this Sigourney Sigourney

her star making yeah that's why she became famous it's actually rule of culture number 18 Sigourney became a star in Avatar yeah oh I absolutely could not get through that movie It's actually rule of culture number 18. Sigourney Boussama star in Avatar. Yeah.

I absolutely could not get through that movie without feeling so motion sick. It's a disgusting movie. It's very weird. I was sitting. There are three movies I've had to walk out of because they made me sick to my stomach because of how shaky the camera was and how sick I was.

Was Wrinkle in Time one of them? No, because I saw that on a... Oh, no, wait. Wrinkle in Time, I had to leave No, because I saw that on a... Oh, no, wait. Wrinkle in Time, I had to leave. I think I saw that on a plane. I had to leave. Oh, God. Only you can wrinkle time.

Thank you, City Green. No, the three films, though, are The Big Short. What? Because it's such a shaky cam. Oh, my God. It made me feel so sick um Avatar

which I you wouldn't like Jumanji had to leave and um Precious oh I was sitting so close to the screen

and it made me feel so sick because it was such a shaky camera oh my god how are you with the favorite because that had all that like weird fish eye I think I was far enough away from the screen

that's good it made you feel I wish I was far enough away from the screen. That's good. It made you feel. I wish I could like do movie reviews somewhere where they're just reviewed based on how motion sick they made me feel. Yeah, it should just be you in the front row of every movie reviewing it that way. I'm like, wait, but as an Orlando bitch, you have. Yeah, you love the thrill. Dramamine. Oh, you're a Dramamine taker? I have to take...

Okay, so the rides that really make me... Talking a big game and then we're taking a Dramamine. I just want to say... The Simpsons ride? And I'm sensitive. The Simpsons ride is fucking crazy. The Simpsons ride, I thought I was going to pass away in. Oh my God.

I almost passed away on that. I had to close my eyes. Yes. I feel like we need to apologize to Ned. Why? For calling him sensitive. Yes, this is perfect. No, I am very sensitive.

I said that my way into pop culture was Joni Mitchell. We didn't mean sensitive in the pejorative at all. What's pejorative? Like in a negative way. It's like inebriance. No, I didn't mean pejorative at all. I did not. It's like inebriance. It's like inebriance. You know. No, I didn't mean pejorative at all. I did not mean that pejoratively.

I love sensitive. Ned is really sensitive. I am actually very sensitive. We weren't being pernicious. I know. I know. Oh my gosh. What a word.

What's Ned's deal? Take it. Sensitive. He's folk floor. Love. The Millennium Falcon. The Millennium Falcon. And Joni Mitchell. That's cool though. Millennium Falcon the Millennium Falcon and Joni Mitchell Millennium Falcon

the Falcon the Falcon the Millennium Falcon Falcon that's great that you were able to be so dynamic as to contain the multitudes of I like Joni Mitchell

but would like to ride and maybe even drive the Millennium Falcon would love to drive it yeah it would be my honor now you guys started writing new stuff

as soon as the album came out. Do we have a timeline on the next release? Oh, my gosh. The next album release? The next album, yes. Well, we have to keep writing and then we also have to just raise the capital. Yeah. As they say in the biz, to pay for an album.

Yeah. Does it all just go to studio, to pay for an album. Yeah. Does it all just go to studio stuff? Yeah. Studio fees? Yeah. That's crazy. We recorded our first album at a studio called The Relic Room. Know it well.

Which is a great studio where we also record the Story By Arts podcast. And we just like want… In the same vein of like wanting the music to sound like good music… We want it to be recorded well. Yeah. It sounds so good. It's a great studio. It is.

Okay. It's a great studio. It's a great studio. Great studio. Back in the studio. Studio. What is this? I've started to realize that asking people about process is like impossible.

Because basically all you're asking is how oh I read I read less and like it's I loved it didn't you love did you read it too we all read it okay Matt have you read it I think Matt you should read it Matt would fucking love it I think you would too what is it about a gay man

it's about this gay author who is turning 50 and he's having this like a bit of a midlife crisis around like aging as like a gay man and then his ex-lover is getting married um and he starts freaking out so then he goes on this book tour around the world in order to escape that and like think about what it means to like go into middle age and then it's like a really beautiful meditation on that yeah it's really funny it's so funny too it's really funny i love that it's a book about what it's like to feel sorry for yourself while also recognizing that it's shitty

to feel sorry for yourself when you have a lot of privilege yes oh yeah i think it grapples with that very well, where he's like, I don't matter and I don't deserve to feel this way. But the thing is, like, this is something that I've sort of, like, come around on is, like, we're not walking around thinking,

well, I shouldn't feel bad because I'm so privileged. Right. Exactly. You're still in a lived-in experience where it's like, I'm going through a shitty time that has, for the most part, might not have to do with my identity. I mean, maybe it does. I mean, of course it does.

That actually is more harmful to say, let me ignore my feelings because they could be worse. That's how I think you make yourself sick. Yeah. Well, that's exactly. I do think that like the complexities of all of that is what that book is about and also it's funny and

sweet the ending is so nice is there an incredible love story you have to read it it's pretty sexy there's fun little sex it's not like 50 shades of grey it's not what Rachel it's not like Fifty Shades of Grey. It's not what, Rachel?

It's not Fifty Shades of Grey. It's not Fifty Shades, but like… What happens in that book? That book is also about like… Yeah. Kind of a contemplative inner look at like privilege and class in America. Totally. Yes.

And also what it's like to put an egg in your vagina. Famously, we went to go see Fifty Shades of Grey when it came out with Anna Dresden on Valentine's Day. And I'll never forget the moment when three quarters of the way through the film after 800 sex scenes, a little boy in the back of the theater was like, Daddy, I need to go

to the bathroom. And everyone in the theater was like, No! Everyone screamed. It was the most cathartic thing we've ever been a part of. It was so funny. It was hilarious. Everyone was horrified.

I love nothing more than a gasp from an audience. That's not about the movie. It just washed over the whole audience. It was so fabulous. That's so terrible. Fabulous. That poor child. Yeah, and speaking of washing over an audience,

I think that it's time for you to wash another song over us, your audience. Oh my God, what a dream. The thing about this song is that it's incredibly niche. Niche. Niche. Don't correct. Niche. What is it't correct. Niche. What is it?

Because I always said niche and then people say niche. No, they're wrong. And now I'm like, it's inebrious. As two niche people, we can tell you that it's niche. When people,

as two people who are constantly told by TV networks and… That you're too niche. That we're too niche. Yeah. Which means gay. It's niche. You got it, got it, got it.

When did you come out as niche? Oh my God, were your parents... In general, two years ago. Did your parents have a hard time, like, accepting that you were niche? Yeah, they were like... They've known I was niche for a long time. I think it was harder than when I came out as gay. Yeah.

My parents were like, we're sending you to an ex-niche therapist in Colorado Springs. And it's like really informed my identity as an adult. Now tell us about this niche song. Well, I don't want to say too much about it, but it is a prayer. Yes. And. You guys are very religious. We are extremely religious.

It's a big part of what we do. Yeah, we sort of haven't touched on that, but we're both very Christian. Well, God's real. God is real. And I hope you're ready for us to take you to church. Thank you. This is Friends Who Fuck.

She She sips a dry martini in the corner She nods and smiles at the maitre d' The candlelight flickers across her velvet bowler hat Who is she? Patti LuPone. Just another Wednesday night at Sardi's Just another grueling to-show day She limply gives a wave to an old friend Across the dining room That friend is Victor Garber La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la. Patti Luppone, Patti Luppone. Born Patti Ann Luppone in 1949. She went to Juilliard Group One.

She's been in everything from Gypsy to Les Miserables But most importantly Law and Order Whoa, you think it's Law and Order? That feels like kind of homophobic from musical theater star Patti LuPone. Excuse me? You're calling me homophobic?

It is actually extremely sexist of you to think that a woman could be homophobic. Plus, she's very known for Law & Order. Like, she has a guest starring arc on SVU. Okay, okay. What's her character's name, if you're such a fan? Wow. Ruth Miller, ADA. Bitch.

La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la. Ruth Miller, ADA. Played by Patti LaPole. She looks around the bar. It's time to pack it in She turns to her friend Sean A 24-year-old gay man She says if there's one thing That I have learned in my career

It's call me a fucking cab I'm Patti LuPone La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la Patti LuPone Patti LuPone Everybody! La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la Don't cry for me Patti LuPone.

Wow. Oh my gosh. Thank you for singing with us. That was incredible. And it was our joy to do that. I forgot the words for a sec, but that's the magic of live theater. Live podcast. Where does that come from?

Did you actually observe Patti LuPone and her natural habitat of Sardis? I actually did see Patti LuPone at Sardis at one point. And it was actually

one of the crazier celebrity sightings. Like it was the most predictable actually to see Patti LuPone at Sardis. But meaningful. But meaningful. But I was like shocked.

I'm usually not that shocked by seeing a celebrity in New York, but seeing Patti LuPone in a bowler hat at Sardi's felt like really iconic. Well, you know what it is? It's when I think about, when I see a celebrity, I'm like, have I seen this person in a room with hundreds, if not thousands of people where we're all focused on this one person? And now am I if not thousands of people where we're all focused on this one person and now am I like

within feet of them? If the answer is yes then I'm like this is crazy and this is so overwhelming. That like someone who's been so that I've seen so on display in a room. Suddenly I'm like within feet of them. I'm like oh that's nuts. I don't know. That's my weird thing with celebrity. Well it feels crazy to see

famous people. At all. I've't know. That's my weird thing with celebrities. Well, it feels crazy to see famous people. At all. Like I've seen famous people where I'm like, yeah, I mean obviously this famous person exists. Yeah. And then others where I'm like, it's actually impossible to me that they're a flesh and blood person that's standing here. Patty's one of those people. Yeah. So when you see a celebrity multiple times like in person, you're like that's not the same person I saw. But it fully is. Like I've seen Kelly

Clarkson in person 10 or 11 times and I think she might keep being replaced. Oh my god. Conspiracy theory. But it is her every time. Like the Kelly Clarkson I saw in Los Angeles do a little gig.

And she was fully different. But she was fully different. But she was the same Kelly Clarkson that we saw at The View. And yet there she was. And yet there she was. It's just crazy that she's out there living a life right now because I love her so. I know. She gets to go to different places. I know.

Like Patti LuPone is doing something. Right now. Right now. That's so crazy to think about. Are you guys Patti fans? Oh, big time. Love her. But I'll say this.

I'm a huge Patti LuPone fan, but the one time I saw her on stage was a matinee of Gypsy, and I felt like I didn't live up to what I wanted. I loved her in Gypsy and saw it twice. She's amazing. Someone told me that they saw her in something and she had a cold.

That was me. Oh, yes. That was you. Okay, then tell the story. I saw Gypsy on Broadway twice, Someone told me that they saw her in something and she had a cold. That was me. Oh, yes. That was you. Okay. Then tell the story. I saw Gypsy on Broadway twice. And the second time she had a cold and she held a tissue the entire time. That's so iconic.

She incorporated it. That's my dream. She famously like doesn't ever… Like she never calls out of shows. She never calls out. So she was sick and still went. And she just incorporated this tissue into the character and would kind of like blow her nose and sneeze into it.

Very Juilliard. She made it work. Oh my God. Mama Rose is sick tonight. Yeah. She's been sick for 30 years. It was amazing. She just said that at the beginning.

Yeah. Mama Rose is sick tonight. Stop taking pictures. I just love her so much. She does the most iconic performance I think at that Kennedy Center honors Barbara Cook. Oh my god, yes. I'm gonna love you

like nobody loves you come rain or come shine. I didn't do it right. She's amazing. She's amazing. She, she's, you know what the best part, my favorite part about Patti, my favorite thing about Patti is that she's amazing in interviews.

She's an incredible watch what happens live interview. Where she fucking shits on Madonna. She said Madonna's a movie killer. And can't act worth shit. Dead eyes or something? She's got dead eyes and she can't act worth shit. And then she described the first time

they ever met and she said that Madonna only said. And then she described the first time they ever met. And she said that Madonna only said to her, I'm taller than you. Insane. Oh my God. I saw her in War Paint too, which was like... Oh, was that? How was War Paint?

I felt that that was the story of me and Bowen. Yeah. We wrote a show called Night Soap that was very similar to War Paint. Okay, yes. Actually, I saw the first Night Soap that was very similar to War Paint okay yes actually I saw the first Night Soap and

okay well first and only if anyone I hope no one listening worked very hard on War Paint because I will say Night Soap was like

good War Paint I felt that even though I didn't see War Paint I felt that's what we were doing the whole time was good War Paint the songs

the songs in Night Soap were more memorable than the songs in War were doing the whole time was good war paint. The songs in Night Soap were more memorable than the songs in War Paint which is a lot because there weren't any. There were not any songs. There was a fight scene

in space. There was with breakaway glass. With breakaway glass and space guns. We have to do it again. It's so fun. That show was amazing.

Thank you. I can't believe we did it once for like 70 people. Wait, what was the premise? Night Soap was a play that Bella and I wrote for Ars Nova and Fest two years ago. Two years ago. Was that two years ago? Yeah.

Where we played two women, a warring matriarchs of two chocolate dynasties. I was Barbara Hershey, who's also the actress. And I was Veronique Neslie. And basically what happened was they were old, who's also the actress. And I was Veronique Nestle. And basically what happened was they were old, old, old friends. Who came up with a patent for a chocolate that could be edible in space. Like transportable and edible in space. But the thing is like their husbands were constantly having conflict because they were Mr. Hershey and Mr. Nestle. And so they were like, well, let's get together and like sort of like figure this out.

Because the men certainly can't. And over the course of the first scene, which is the first act you find out that, was it I was fucking your son? You were fucking my son. I was fucking her son. And then the communication breaks down and it's not until

second act in the Alps where we see each other again in the chalet in the chalet oh my god in the Swiss chalet this show was so funny thank you

it's truly I keep saying this it's the only thing that I look back on that I'm like proud of that like the only thing I read the script

I read the script like two months ago and I was like this holds up you think so? yeah it needs to be produced and then of course the third act spoiler alert takes place in space and there is a fight Two months ago and I was like, this holds up. You think so? Yeah, it needs to be produced. I think we got to do it again.

And then of course the third act, spoiler alert, takes place in space. And there is a fight to the death and we have a full space outfit. Yeah, you were wearing like body suits. And then there's a twist ending that I am so proud of. There's a huge twist ending. People gasped. Yeah, I was shocked. We won't spoil it because you guys should do it again.

We can't spoil it. Or maybe that's your niche pitch to networks. Yes, niche pitch. Literally, I did meet with one production company. I will not say which. And I described the idea and they were fucking gagged for it. They liked it? Yeah, I'll tell you who it was later.

Maybe it'll be on some sort of niche network near you sometimes okay but this was gonna get me into my thing before we talked about Les and this is actually a great segue

into your guys' writing process and like the thing that they say in Les is like what else is there to ask a writer except how

but like I feel like do you guys have a streamlined way of like writing your stuff or is it like more like just like you guys are playing around with different ideas?

Both. Yeah I feel like it's often it has often been that we have like an idea and kind of with that idea like a genre or we're like that's a Sarah McLaughlin's or whatever it is and then we kind of

riff on that but then we kind of riff on that but then we also there's also been ones where like we have an idea and it's a little more fully formed and then

we help the other like bring it to life but it's often us like really just at a guitar and with a computer open like

improvising stuff diddling diddling yeah because sometimes it's like, sometimes it'll be me being like, I want to write a song about, about how like treating,

like staying up all night, worrying about stuff is a, is like a type of self-care. Like let's write that and then we'll sit down and write it. Or it'll be Ned being like, can we write a song about the movie Stepmom? I love that one.

And then we'll do that. Or like we just did, we just wrote a song about Marie Kondo.? I love that one. And then we'll do that. Or like we just did… We just wrote a song about Marie Kondo. That was literally… Because Ned was like making fun of me for doing Marie Kondo stuff. And he was like… I just like want… Well you're doing Whole30 and Marie Kondo.

Which is like you're just… You're setting yourself up for failure. Marie Kondo is the Whole30. It's the Whole30 of your space. Yes. Yeah. But then you… No I think I also believe in you.

I'm sorry. Thank you so much. I'm trying to change my life and you are actively keeping me back. No, I want… I want… I really want you to change your life. We all desperately need you to change everything about you. We want Rachel to change her life.

But Ned was like, I just like think that I just want Marie Kondo to like come over and scream at me. And then like we're like, well, that's the whole song. And then we wrote it in 15 minutes. Yeah, it just feels like everyone wants Marie Kondo to really like dom them right now. Would you be able to do that one? We could try. We could try to do it right now. Try and do a little clapping.

It's an acapella song. I'm going to forget the words. What's our key? Great. Okay. Let them do it you can cop with us I want Marie Kondo

to scream at me and tell me that I've been a bad bad boy I want Marie Kondo to write a letter to my parents And tell them I'm a messy piece of shit I want Marie Kondo to convict me of a crime I didn't commit And put me in jail for my whole life.

I want Marie Kondo to look me dead in the eyes and say you don't spark joy. I'm gonna donate you to a church. I want Marie Kondo to scream at me and tell me that I've been a bad, bad boy. I want Marie Kondo to drive me to the dump and throw me in the dump. And then I'll finally be free. Be free.

Be free. Yes! Okay, we sort of know the lyrics. Wow, that was great. I like that news friend to a folk song. And also, I vividly pictured someone looking. I think this would be a good reality show. Marie Kondo, but with friendships.

So it's like, you have to look someone in the eye. It's like, you've decided that out of your five friends, three of them don't spark joy. And you have to tell them. You have to tell them. That's a very Matt Rogers pitch.

You seem so excited to do that. You're like, you have friends, but you have too many friends. I think that's called boundaries. Tonight. I just love Marie Kondo. I love her. I think that's called boundaries. I just love Marie Kondo.

I've Marie Kondo'd my room too. You did? I'm very cynical about it but I believe in it. I think it works. I think the way your living space is organized is a direct reflection of your mental state and

it's helped. I don't know. I just like I did the whole thing where I put everything on my bed, went through the stuff I wanted to keep and I'm honestly thinking that like all these goodwill's and churches and places, these donation places are like overwhelmed right now. So I'm

just tossing it in the trash. Is that bad? Yes. I don't want them to go to it. I don't think that's bad. I think your rationalization is crazy. I think the idea that they're overwhelmed is not the way to go. But if you want to throw out your stuff, you should go for it. It's an intense projection.

You just overwhelmed at the thought of it. Yeah, I feel like the soup kitchen, they're getting a lot of monetary donations right now, so I'm just taking my money and I'm burning it. It's not that no, this is the thing. It's not that I'm bringing, if I were bringing money to the Goodwill, I'd be like, here's a thousand dollars. But they're still goods. No, I understand what you're saying. I think that it's fine because I

think that, I think it's fine to take stuff there even if they are overwhelmed because I think a lot of those places have the means to recycle textiles. And a lot of these places have the means to recycle textiles. And a lot of these places, a lot of the Goodwills I hear just toss most of the donations. They just throw it in the garb.

They do, they do, they do. That's very possible. So you're performing a service. I am. H&M recycles used textiles. Oh, right, right. Oh, I should have done that. I think it's fine.

I've definitely thrown like old underwear. Like it doesn't matter. I have a… I mean I save all my old underwear. I throw it in a basket to save the stuff. You eat it. Yeah, for dinner. Yeah.

I save it for dinner. I can't get enough of this stuff. Whole 30. Yeah. Whole 30. Whole, whole 30. I'm eating… Yeah, because it's been on my whole...

Your butthole's been touched. I'm eating 30 pairs of underwear this month and that's my self-care. You're glowing. And that's it. Sometimes it gets really late at night and I feel my stomach start to rumble and I'm like,

I really want to eat my underwear right now. But you can't because it's one a day. I have a service coming tomorrow to pick up all the clothes that I Marie Kondo'd. You didn't tell me you were Marie Kondo-ing. I Marie Kondo'd. Oh my God. You didn't tell me you were Marie Kondo-ing. I did it with my clothes. I did.

You so tiny. I did it before the documentary. I did it before anyone was even talking about it. I did it weeks ago. The documentary. Oh, well, aren't you cool? Aren't you punk rocked?

Isn't it a documentary on that? It's a reality show. It's a reality show. It's a documentary. Starring Marie. It's a doc. Yeah, who is… I think she's…

Is she stunning? She is stunning and I think she's the nicest, sweetest soul on the planet. Doesn't judge anybody. Yeah. She loves kids. She loves kids. She's like, okay, we'll work through this.

Has helped this gay couple. It was so cute. Oh, my God. I love her. I also love, I love that the show. Ally. Ally. She's an ally.

She speaks in Japanese, which I love. I love that it's Ally Ally She's an ally She speaks in Japanese Which I love I love that it's like You're gonna watch subtitles We're not like forcing this It feels very Like an un-American thing To let a

Yes Foreign person Just speak their native tongue In a popular show You know what also feels Very un-American about it Like the week it came out Last week

Like all these people I was talking to All these people I was talking to were like, it just feels like it's the same thing over and over again. There's no conflict. I'm like, yeah, that's okay. Yeah, that's very British. It's British. It's very Asian for this thing to be like, you're just going to watch these people

improve their lives and not put up a fight. Right. They're just going to be like, oh yeah, it's just as easy as folding our clothes a specific way and putting it somewhere else and putting our papers in a a box great and then like that's it and they're happier yeah americans love to be traumatized by television we love drama and i get and that's me like i love that's me i love to be absolutely traumatized every time i watch. But it's a nice reprieve. Do you like trauma? I think 2019 trauma is going to be big.

And it's going to feel great. Yes. I love like hard dramas. TNT, we know trauma. The way you just asked. Do you like trauma? TBS, trauma welcome asked do you like trauma do you like trauma

are you a fan of trauma do you like comedy drama or trauma I'm actually writing a new hour long trauma I'm writing a traumity a traumity

in truth trauma is what we are writing yes Traumaty. Traumaty. Traumaty. Traumaty. In truth, Traumaty is what we were all writing. Yes. Yeah. It's where you really dig deep and then write like a whole show about your butthole

for no reason. When are you guys going to have kids? Who says we don't? Oh. We had kids together. That was the first part of the collaboration. We said, if we're going to do this, we need to have children. We need to have created something human first.

You know, I'm in this place now where I saw my sister with my beautiful niece. And I was like… Nice. Gorgeous niece. Quite a niece. Ms. Weiss. One of the top five nieces in my opinion. One of the top five nieces.

Okay, Ms. Weiss. Thank you. I five nieces, in my opinion. One of the top five nieces. Okay, Ms. Weiss. Thank you. I'm like, I don't think I want this. I literally, the other day, decided I didn't want children. What was the deciding factor for you? Okay, I watched a parent and his son run across the street, and the son accidentally ran a little bit in front of his dad, and his dad knocked him over, and the kid plopped on the ground. And the dad did that like ran a little bit in front of his dad. And his dad knocked him over. And the kid flopped on the ground.

And the dad did that thing of like freaking out. Because he thought the kid might have been hurt. But the kid was absolutely fine. And then he freaked the kid out. And the kid started screaming. And I was like, God, I can't do this. Oh my God. You know what I mean?

Because I'd be knocking my kid over all the dude off fucking day. Get out of my way, kid. Yeah. I'm going where I'm going. You never walk in front of a star. No. Don't my way, kid. Yeah. I'm going where I'm going. You never walk in front of a star. No. Don't walk in front of a star.

Daddy's a star. Yeah. That's the thing is it's like I wouldn't want my kid to have their daddy be a star. Yeah.

I feel I feel like really crazy that if I have kids their parents will work in entertainment. I don't If you have kids?

Like if I had kids like I just feel like parents are supposed to be kids their parents will work in entertainment. If you have kids? If I had kids I just feel like parents are supposed to be accountants and lawyers and actuaries which is what my dad did. A very boring job that I never could describe or understand.

The fact that if I have kids they're going to have to be like my parents are comedy writers or whatever makes me feel sick to my stomach.'s interesting my dad does most fatal murder my dad my dad my dad actually hosts the onion podcast which is in its um 50th season and he makes a million dollars a second but that's my dad you know and yet you still try for baby yeah I'm trying right now we're trying your legs have been

up in the air this whole time yeah you're doing that thing of like trying to you know make it

get there make it get there make it swim I saw Lacuz talking oh my god I know that when you have sex an animated sperm

swims my love up in the dark oh my god one of the great songs a classic film I've never seen that I've never seen it either

well it has a disgusting animation it's really bad insemination I was gonna say inception of inebrious

inception what do they call they call when you get pregnant inebrious inception not pejorative no Ned do you and Ethan

oh no this is a crazy question not really are you guys married no you get pregnant and need brieus inception not pejorative no Ned do you and Ethan oh no this is a crazy question not really are you guys married no engaged no

maybe someday how long have you guys been together we've been together for like three and a half years okay not a little while

okay entering the baby year you don't think you want to get married that's beautiful it's very Joanie yeah blue yeah that was all about not wanting to get married.

Yeah, I don't know. I definitely want, I like love kids and I often see kids and I want them like hypothetically. But if I actually check in with like the nitty gritty of what having a kid would be. And I have nieces and I love hanging out with them and then giving them back. Yes. And I think that's enough. I told Sudi, I was like, I will be like the very fun uncle of your kid.

We were talking about this the other night when we were all hanging out. Me, Bone, and Sudi were watching TV and we were saying like, I told that story about how I watched this kid get knocked over by his dad and dealing with that emotional situation is not something I'm wanting. And it's like I feel like now like I'll be 29. Like I think at some point if I really wanted kids, like I would have started thinking about it more.

And Sudi is someone who's always known she's wanted children. It's like you either know deep down in your heart you want them or you don't. Yeah. There's that Nikki Glaser joke that I think is really funny where she was like everyone wants a kid but like you need to tell people that like yeah that cute baby is just gonna be like a guy named Doug like what like like that's the reason why they're why we exist is because our parents were like we want a kid we want a baby we want a baby but they just you become a shitty adult but then you just just… You don't realize that… And then you got a dog. Yeah.

Yeah. But then like… But then like most babies become like… Dogs. Dogs. But isn't that real? There's something real about that where it's like… Right.

You're putting out a life into the world and then like that… You're so responsible for the way that that person moves through it. It's like crazy. Or your baby could grow up to become Glenn Close. Oh my God. Can you imagine? Can you imagine? That's like always the anti-abortion people though.

They're always like abortion. What if that was Glenn Close? What if that was Glenn Close? What if your kid grew up to be Glenn Close? It could win a Golden Globe for the wife. Your kid could cure cancer or win a Globe. I would love to have a son who is obsessed with me, though. I thought you were going to say

with Glenn Close. I was like, you want a gay son. I would love a gay son. I bet you would want a gay son. No, I... She said no. No. She wouldn't want a gay son.

No, this isn't the family stone. This is really pejorative. This is the family stone. The family stone. This is really pejorative. Where I'm like, I wouldn't want a gay son. No, I would love any sort of child who was obsessed with me.

Yes. Now, I truly think we would all make great parents. I think I would. Let's raise a child together, you guys. I think I would be a good father, but it's, you know, it would just mean a lot of sacrifice. Of course. Yeah. To get real.

But there is this thing, too, with Rachel's thing. It's like, I don't know if it's fair for the kid for us to be like, we are, we're fucking idiots. And we make our money. Your father and I. Yeah, your father and I, we make a living, like, just dicking around and being on podcasts. Yeah, I'd be like…

Oh my God, is that what we're going to be making our living off of in 10 years? Yeah, I'd be like, this is… Yeah, you guys have no hope for the future. Everything anyone has said has been like, we're just going to be, you know, struggling forever. Here, son. Here's the most successful thing I did when I've been doing comedy. It's called Hottest Female Up in Whoville I think about that song

every day I think about that song it's so good thank you it's so good but I was just thinking about the fact that like having to

explain to my offspring that that was like what I was doing but maybe they'd be proud maybe I'd have the coolest most alternative kids kids are obsessed with Grinch jokes.

Alt kids. Alt kids. I'm thinking about getting into like the alt kid world. They've got their finger on the pulse. Yeah. I mean, that's the truth. Kids are so cool now. Like that's the thing is I feel like the generational divide between us and our kids is going to be like somehow

even further than our parents and us because they will have grown up with the internet and they're going to be so cool and they're going to make us feel shitty about being so old but meanwhile we were the ones I think we're going to have social skills though

yeah sure like isn't it crazy because it's like all our lives we thought we were the ones who were like… The coolest and the most advanced. Which is like how it happens with every generation. But it's like in terms of technological advancements, it's like I thought we were the ones who were like at the front line. Surfing the web. And also like acknowledging the fact that we aren't the people who are like up to date with like what's going on in technology right now.

You know what I mean? Like or acknowledging you're out of touch in any way. Like the fact that like we were at Seek Treatment's show last night and they have this whole bit like what's Post Malone. Like I don't know what Post Malone is. But you know who does? Millions of kids. I know. And it's hard to think.

Rachel's famously very young. I saw Into the Spider-Verse, so I know. So did I, and I felt like a kid. Like an alt-kid. Like an alt-kid. Be the alt-kid you want to be. And like there are YouTube stars who make millions of dollars a year, and I've never heard of them.

Yeah, that's crazy. It's really spooky to be so old. It is. It absolutely is. I've looked at life from far away. Okay, that was haunting. I loved it. No, I really do.

I see what you're saying, though. I think it's very true. Did you find out what Post Malone is? Yeah, he's a singer. Yeah. He's like a SoundCloud rapper. I thought it was a bunch of people. He's kind of freakish looking.

He has a lot of face tattoos. Yeah. He's spooky. I liked his song that was in Into the Spider-Verse, though. Oh. What had it go? It's Sunflower. Oh.

It's the one that sounds like M.I.A.'s Paper Planes but is not. That's fun. Yeah, that sounds good. And that is fun. I loved Into the Spider-Verse. I did too. It was like cool. It was really, really fucking beautiful.

I want to ask you guys a question. So there was a Rolling Stone article which was the number, like the top 100 most influential songs of 2000 to now. Pop songs or like any genre. What do you think was number one? Like the number one most respect. And it was like a Rolling Stone article. And it was like they asked music journalists and musicians and everyone in the music industry. Like they all voted. And what do you think the number one song was?

Wait, and it was all pop? It was pop, R&B, country. It was all songs that have come out as major releases since the year 2000. Was it an Outkast song? Outkast was up there. Was it Paper Planes? Paper Planes was really up there too. Paper Planes and there was, I think, Hey Ya were both in the top five.

Oh yeah, Hey Ya feels… Was it Hit Me Baby One More Time? No were both in the top five. Oh yeah. Hey Ya feels was it Hit Me Baby One More Time? No. It was Crazy in Love. Oh wow. And I said that actually is a really good ball.

That makes sense. It makes sense. Because even the I was like it's iconic. Yeah. I love that song. Isn't it weird that that was her

very first single and yet it kind of pretty much still is her most iconic song? I think it is. Well, I mean, in terms of this article, they say it is. And I think that if you were to announce Beyonce, you would do that.

The alt kid would say Formation, which was also on the list. They'd be like, I've never heard of Crazy in Love. Yeah, they'd be like, who's Beyonce? A really alt kid, a really alt annoying answer to that question would be someone that's like irreplaceable. Unconditional. No one would say irreplaceable. No, people would and they would do it to be fucking annoying.

They'd be like dark, dark horse. A lot of people in this world are really annoying. It's actually rule of question number 40. A lot of people in this world are really annoying. And they would say things like that. They would. I mean, maybe it's just like the time. What year did Crazy in Love come out?

2003. Yeah, that makes sense. I feel really nostalgic for that post-9-11. It was so great to be a 13-year-old. Yeah. Growing up during 9-11 was really cool. It was so great to be a 13-year-old. Yeah. Growing up during 9-11 was really cool. It was so great to be a 13-year-old post-9-11. Okay, let's go around.

Where were you when… Oh, my… You're in… I've told my 9-11 story about how I demanded my mom take me to the fucking store to get the glitter album. Oh, to buy glitter. I told her. I was like… I thought she took me out of class early

because we were going to go get glitter. Because you knew how excited I was because I had been talking about it for weeks. And the glitter album had come out that day and I was like, okay. They were like, Matt Rogers for early dismissal. And I was like, that's weird.

And my teacher was like, uh-huh. And I went downstairs and I was like, you took me out so we could go to glitter? Get glitter? This was before the Towers? It was 9-11. It was after both had hit. And my mom came to get me out of school.

I've told this on the pod. Oh, so this is the little hole I'm going to poke. They didn't just dismiss all of you guys? No, we were not dismissed. They didn't do that at my school either. No, that's not the way they handled it. In Jersey and on Long Island? And they also didn't tell the kids that it happened.

Yeah, we had the same thing. And it was crazy. We were released. You got out early? They got out early. They didn't tell us, but they were like, everyone go home. I'm so sick. You got to go home?

Dude. But I found out because I went upstairs. I had band class and I left my trumpet in my homeroom. And so I go up and then the TV was on. No one was in the room but it was people running away from the second tower being hit and then I just was like, oh my god, something is

happening. Yeah. Oh my god. They did not tell us. That was like a controversial thing that people were talking about in the weeks afterwards. Whether or not they should have let everyone know but the fact of the matter is that they didn't want to say anything over the loudspeaker

because honestly I was from Long Island and it's very possible that someone could have had someone that worked there you know what I mean because then

you panic the kids you know what I mean I think that is the right thing to do I think it was the right call that is true yeah they didn't tell us

but then everyone was like I heard because we were like on then everyone was like, I heard – because we were on lockdown. Yeah, there was that. And they were like, I heard that there's a dead body in the dumpster outside of school. And then everyone was gossiping about that. So then when we all found out what really was happening, I was like, that's so shitty that everybody was getting excited about a dead body outside the school.

And really it was so much worse. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry that I brought this. I can't believe we're talking about 9-11 on Lost Cultures. This feels actually like I'm in hell. Well, it is time for I Don't Think So, Honey.

I Don't Think So, Honey. And then they're going to give us the finale. Oh my God. So I Don't Think So,. And then we… Oh, and then they're going to give us the finale. Oh, my God. So, I Don't Think So Honey is our little segment that we do to take one minute to rant against something in pop culture that we hate. And Lost Culture Recess is going on tour with I Don't Think So Honey. Tickets are on sale now online. You can go to my website under the shows page

and also the Lost Culture Recess page page mattrodgerscomedy.com to get tickets to our shows because we do not have a website and that's cool and that's cool

very niche very niche it's really niche of us to not have a website or a place where you can essentially go to find us find us

okay I actually have a thing I could do okay this is Matt Rogers' I don't think so honey as time starts now I don't think so honey that you can't eat before you go to bed. That's when it feels the best and that's when I'm the hungriest. I don't know about you, but I wake up at roughly 2.30 p.m. every day

and I am not hungry, honey. So that means my lunch happens at about 7. And then am I eating dinner at 11.30 p.m. roughly and that is also when I smoke. So I don't think so honey that smoking makes you so hungry and i don't think so honey the whole situation because i feel that that's when it feels the best to be full is when you can eat a lot and then lay down in your little bed and make yourself so warm and feeling warm and full are a great combination and

also high so this is what three things I like to be together. But now guess what is turning on me? My body. So I have been in the gym and unfortunately, it is incredibly difficult to lose that little tiny moment in the belly because I have no impulse control and I don't know what to do. I don't think so, honey, that my body is not 18. And that's one minute. Wow. That really took a turn. That was a journey. Oh my god. I'm just saying it's fucked up that you can't eat before you go to bed.

Or that you can, but it's not good for you. Right. It sucks that like the actual best thing to do for your body is like stop eating at 7 because the most luxurious time to eat is like midnight. And you know many places in Europe, they eat their cena very late at night. Their cena.

So Spain? La cena. La cena. Well, in Spain, we were taught that culturally they have like a large dinner at like 10 p.m. Yeah.

I just went to Spain this year, last year, and we would make reservations at like 8.30 being like, we're very European and then get there and the restaurant would be empty.

Be no one. Because the culture is to eat very late. It's like at five o' European, and then get there, and the restaurant will be empty. Be no one. Because people eat really late. Because the culture is to eat very late. It's like at 5 o'clock, the restaurants are like all German tourists, and then at like 8, it's all Americans. I mean, again, that's so funny. When are they going to get the national newsflash that that's not good for them? I don't know.

Maybe their bodies are just like evolved. Have you been eating? I've been eating late at night on Whole30. I've been trying not to. You know what was a real kicker for me was when we. No, what are you going to say? Was when we postmate. We had.

Oh no. Was when we postmated McDonald's to the duplex at one in the morning. I ate some of that. That was the best. That was my best idea ever. Why were you at the duplex at one in the morning. I ate some of that. That was the best, that was my best idea ever. Why were you at the duplex at one in the morning? We were at your show.

We were at Have You Heard of Christmas and then we were like, I haven't eaten dinner. Oh yeah, and then you guys left that bag of McDonald's up in the duplex, you fucking freaks.

Oh no, that was mean. And I threw it out. Did more people look sad? The drag queen was making fun of it. Fat bitch. Fat bitch. Fat bitch. Her show was me. And I threw it out. Did more people look stuck? The drag queen was making fun of it. Fat bitch. Fat bitch. Fat bitch.

Her show was here. The drag queen was like, her name was Fat Bitch. No, her show was Fat Bitch. Her show was called Fat Bitch. Oh, I thought she was called Fat Bitch. That's from 30 Rock. Fat Bitch?

That was one of Tracy Jordan's movies. Fat Bitch. Fat Bitch. He played a dog. Well, we got stuck in a drag show, and then I left really fast, and I did leave the McDonald's there, and I apologize.

And I was left to deal with the bags. It was such a good McDonald's. It was just a bag full of my dignity. I just want to eat McDonald's again. Well, last time I did Lost Cult, we were eating chicken McDonald's. Yeah, honestly, we ate the whole episode long, and I famously hate what we eat on air because Bo and Yang chomps and slumps Last time I did Lost Colch, we were eating chicken McDonald's. Honestly, we ate the whole episode long,

and I famously hate what we eat on air because Bowen Yang chomps and slomps right into the mic. Oh, my God. Wait, are chicken nuggets Whole30? There's absolutely no way. Oh, my God. They're made of, like, garbage. Which is Whole30. If underwear is Whole30, so is garbage.

Shut the fuck up. Okay, well, if you say so. It's time for Bowen Yang's I Don't Think So, Honey. Okay. Bowen Yang's I Don't Think So, Honey on this episode with the friends who folk. His time starts now. I Don't Think So, Honey lip balm. Lip balm, you are trash.

And it should just be the same across the fucking board, and yet we have all these different types of lip balm. Give me Burt's Bees. That should be the one and the only. I don't need all this other chapstick medicated, chapstick high intensity moisture. Bitch, it is all a graft for marketing. And I see it, bitch. Big lip balm, I am going to destroy you.

This year in 2019, I am taking down big lip balm. I am releasing my own line of lip balm and it is unbranded. It's just one kind of lip balm. There's no variety. It's the one that works for everybody because all lips are the same. Say it with me. All lips are the same. All lips are the same.

All lips are the same. Stop. Now, if you are going, if I will start, I will actually start a GoFundMe to make a new lip balm that is the Bo and Yang lip balm.

And I, I bet, you can bet your ass that I will have a lip balm this year. I think that you should

have the Bo and Yang lip balm and I'm gonna have my fragrance Gay Son by Matt Adler. No, Gay Son, and then, don't you have like an ad for this? Yeah, it's going to be an ad for my fragrance, Gay Son.

Gay Son, I love that. Gay Son. You don't understand him, but you can smell like him. What is the scent? It smells like weed and cum. Oh my God. Gay Son, I love that. Okay, that was fabulous. That was fabulous. I don't know, though. Oh my god. Gay son. I love that.

Okay. That was fabulous. Fabulous. I don't know though. I feel like I see you use lip balm. But that's also probably why you feel so close to it. I love lip balm. I think the marketing around it is insane. And there shouldn't be so many different varieties when all lips are the same.

Okay. This is… Okay. We're going to go with Rachel. Okay. And then we're going to end with Ned. I thought a lot about this. This is Rachel Win's, we're gonna, we're gonna go with Rachel. Okay. And then we're gonna end with Ned. I've thought a lot about this. This is Rachel Winitsky's

I Don't Think So Honey. Her time starts now. Okay. I Don't Think So Honey stools. Stools are like the evil bitch step cousin

of chairs. Yes. Which are a far superior genre of sitting furniture. Which are a far superior genre of sitting furniture. I have a big gifted and talented ass and it simply does

not fit on a stool. Is not comfortable there. Ten minutes into sitting on a stool, my ass is going, no thank you. I don't think so. I love couches, sofas,as chest lounge fainting couch all yes stools no you know what my ass makes stools stools is another word for shit for me shit is a yes but unfortunately stools no stools are terrorism

I'll say it now making a fat bitch sound stools is terrible that's more than enough gifted and talented ass it's big listen

you are incredibly fecal and I think that fecal woman you have a lot to discuss that was actually a line in Night Soap you vile

fecal woman I do feel that way I love that well that's good that you feel this way thank you to be clear for everyone listening though

if anyone ever overheard me shitting I would be fucking mortified oh if you ever want to get over someone, listen to them poop. Oh my god, yeah.

If you ever want to get over a crush, just realize that they have poops. They have poops. And you're not going to want to eat their butt anymore after that. Yeah. Because I think about eating all the butts I see. I think about eating every yes I want to taste

I think about boys I want to eat their butt and I can't believe that I don't now your issue with stools is that they don't have backs is that the main thing

they don't have backs which is so uncomfortable yeah that go off queen I love to go off on stools I'm five foot eight if my feet

don't have anywhere to go on a stool your stool too tall that drag her insane the tall stools are the craziest. There's no practical reason. And I slouch so badly.

And there's just no feasible way to not slouch on a stool. Like it's so much effort to sit up straight on a stool that doesn't have a back. And then if your stool does have a back, I'm like, fuck you. Why don't you just make a chair? Oh my God. People who sit up straight on stools are insane. They're cops. They're cops. They're cops.

They're cops. They are. Thank you. They're narcs. Rachel, that was real important what you did. That was really important. I'm just trying to live my life in a way that is meaningful. Yeah.

Thank you. So now this is Ned's I Don't Think So Honey debut. Am I allowed to read? Yes. Yes. I Don't Think So Honey. Yes. Okay.

I've never done that. That's very inebriating. This is Ned's. I'm ready. Very sensitive. This is Ned's debut I don't think so honey his time starts now I don't think so honey

the masked singer what is it why does it exist you're hiding someone in a Liberace animal costume and then once they take off the costume

and reveal their identity I still don't know who the fuck they are no one wanted to know what it would feel like if Donnie Darko could sing Living La Vida Loca

are we that starved for ways to distract ourselves from the slow death of civilization No one wanted to know what it would feel like if Donnie Darko could sing Living La Vida Loca. Are we that starved for ways to distract ourselves from the slow death of civilization that we have to pour millions of dollars into a kinky parlor game for struggling celebrities? Jenny McCarthy is an anti-vaxxer. Nick Cannon said he is proud of how Kevin Hart handled the Oscars controversy. Robin Thicke made blurred lines. How did this happen? The Masked Singer can only have been created by people who are deeply sexually unfulfilled. The people who created The Masked Singer

are furries resisting their kink and it's going to ruin their lives. I don't think so, honey. The Masked Singer, I will probably watch it at some point and enjoy it taken in by the thrill of my parade. I will wait out the apocalypse watching Mr. Bean emerge

from an Energizer bunny costume. That's what I meant. Very good, man. Very good. Very good. We just watched The Masked Singer last night for the first time. How was it?

And we discussed it on another episode. I think I'm going to love it, actually. It actually is the dumbest. It's actually bad. You want to like it for how bad it is, but... I kind of loved it, though.

Rachel, you fucking idiot I very famously love bad taste I mean you are a trash queen and I have bad taste too and I'm telling you like even I couldn't get enough of this I liked it but I was also like this genuinely feels like I wish that they unmasked the singer and then

murdered them in front of an audience because that feels like what this is it feels on game it feels like the this is. It feels on game. It does. It feels like the Hunger Games, so why not go the extra mile? Exactly. Like, I want to see the B-lister

get brutally murdered. The judges are insane. I can't believe Robin Thicke is on the show. And Jenny McCarthy. It's so nuts. Yeah, Jenny McCarthy. She's right off the slopes. We're recording this in January.

But yeah, I mean, like, maybe by next month, it'll feel like it'll get to a different cultural place. But like right now, it feels truly insane. The way they guess is so funny, too, because they're like, oh, I'm sensing like Beyonce. And it's like, you think she's here? Yeah. She's busy.

Who did they guess last night where I was like, they're not... Oh. Someone was like, it's Jimmy Buffett. I know it. And like, it's like,

he just sang for us and it's like, you know that's not Jimmy Buffett. If it was Jimmy Buffett, I would love the mask. Like, if it was people like Jimmy Buffett, it'd be amazing.

Joni Mitchell. Oh my God. If it was Joni... I would die. I would die. I would die. They do this whole bit with clues where they give out clues. Yeah.

It's a package. We think one of them is Latoya Jackson. And I think one of them is Ricky Lake. The alien. Ricky Lake is one of them. Wait, I was also reading. I'm excited about Ricky Lake. I was reading rumors

that one of them was Tori Spelling. Yes. Which made a lot of sense to me. See, we love this show. You're right, we do. We're going to be talking about it, though. It will be a topic of conversation. It's going to be water cooler talk for a few months.

And it's going to be in textbooks someday as the Franz Ferdinand assassination of World War III. Well, they're dressed like Franz Ferdinand. I just can't believe the costumes. The costumes are insane. I think they're absolutely stunning. There's one rumor that... They're kind of Cirque du Soleil.

They are. They're good. There's a rumor that Margaret Cho is one of them. What? No. It's like the pink poodle. Singing? Singing.

So, you know, who knows? She does sing. She sings. Wow. Wow. I mean, she's got... She's booking work, though. Yeah, she's booked.

Again, it's on the masked singer. And it she's booked. Again, it's on the Masked Singer. And it's on the Masked Singer. She's on high maintenance. She's got a thing coming out. She's out there working. She's working. I mean, all this being said, I'd absolutely love to write a packet

and get staffed on the Masked Singer. Oh, yeah. Season two. That'd be a lot for writers to do on that show. Yeah. Well, there we go. We've had all of I Don't Think So Honeys

we've discussed The Masked Singer we've had so much culture we found out Ned's um culture and it's time and we've heard three songs

including one world debut which is what they call a song the first time I love it that you do it on a podcast the first time you do a song on a podcast is a world debut

we've created New Words which is something that we do at Las Culturistas Inebrius is now on the cultural lexicon yes world debut. We've created new words, which is something that we do at Las Culturistas. Inebrius is now on the cultural lexicon. It is. And we've created many, many cultural moments and new rules. And now I think that we are left with no choice

but to hear one more song from the friends who folk. But before we get into this, when are you guys performing? What the hell's going on? So we try to do a roughly monthly show at Union Hall in New York City, baby. Yes.

I believe we have a show. The next show after this airs will be March 7th at 8 p.m. Yes. At Union Hall. And we also do have an album and an Instagram. We're trying to get like more. Yeah, we're trying to be less on stage,

more on the internet. Yes, that's good. Just pictures. That's good. Yeah. Yeah, you should be more pictures. Yeah, 2019 is all about pictures. Yeah, I agree.

Thank you. Thank you. Well, tell us a little bit about this song and then take us into it. So this song is about being in love. Making promises to someone you love. Thank you. I haven't been the same since I met you.

And I forget my own name when I am with you And I will love you till I die And when I die I have a very simple request Make sure the minions do a dance at my funeral Make sure the minions do a dance at my funeral Make sure the minions do a dance at my funeral Make sure the minions do a dance at my funeral That would be really cool

I will never leave your side Through thick and thin until I die And when I'm lying on a bed of death I'll squeeze your hand and with my dying breath, remind you of what I always wanted. Insist that the minions do a dance at my funeral. Insist that the minions do a dance at my funeral. And if they refuse, say it is my funeral.

And that will be really cool People tell me the minions are Computer animated characters in a show But I know that the minions are actual minions The dance can be super simple I don't want the minions to have to learn choreo. It's mostly just arm stuff. A lawyer put this in my will.

They should have one rehearsal. Please have the minions do a dance at my funeral. The minions from the movie Minions should be at my funeral. Please have the minions do a dance at my funeral. The minions from the movie Minions should be at my funeral. Please have the minions do a dance at my funeral. That would be really cool. Make sure the minions do a dance at my funeral make sure the minions do a dance at my funeral

I've been writing a dance make sure the minions do a dance at my funeral it's about bananas make sure the minions do a dance at my funeral

make sure the minions do a dance that would be super cool amazing thank you Super cool Amazing. Thank you. Press on, folk.

Folk me. Folk me. Folk me. Folk me. Folk me. Folk me. Please folk me. I hate that.

On Thanksgiving Day 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. Listen to Chess Peace, the show, Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind-the-scenes stories, crazy details,

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Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of on purpose. My latest episode is with jelly roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison

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or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. I'm Sheryl Swoops. And I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women. And T and I have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Sheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby, And T and I have no problem going there.