Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - "Mercy! Ain't Miss God Cuttin' Up Something Awful!" (w/ Aaron Jackson & Josh Sharp)

Episode Date: August 5, 2020

That's right, the sisters/DODS are back, darling dear! Fat-assed cyclist Josh Sharp and world-bestselling author Aaron Jackson reunite with Matt and Bow over Zoom to talk about the last year or so of various Drag Race franchises and more. From Season 12 to All Stars 5 to UK to Canada, the conversation is LARGE in scope, wetch! There's also juicy discussion over a vaudeville queen's last words, Liza Minnelli, and matching pop divas to a staged musical they should write based on existing IPs. And keep your sweet tooth screaming for the delicious dessert of four wild I Don't Think So Honeys, dear ones! Be sure to purchase Aaron's novel, "The Astonishing Life of August March," wherever books are sold. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Real Housewives of New York City are back for another bite of the Big Apple. Look who it is. Joined by elite new friends. Rebecca Minkoff. Have you ever heard of her? But things could change in a New York Minute. She had this wild night and ended up getting pregnant by some other guy. What?

You told her? Not today, Satan. Not today. The Real Housewives of New York City. All new Tuesdays at 9 on Bravo. Or stream it on City TV+. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski.

And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind-the-scenes stories, crazy details, and honestly, just having a blast talking football. Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all times, from legends to our buddies to current stars. We're finally answering the age-old question, what kind of dudes are these dudes? We're going to find out, Jules.

New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba?

Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home, and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Cheryl Swoops. And I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience

as women. And T and I have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby, an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Look, man.

Oh, I see. Wow. Oh, and look over there. Wow, is that culture? Yes. Oh, my goodness. Wow. Oh, and look over there. Wow. Is that culture? Yes. Oh, my goodness. Wow.

Las Culturistas. Ding dong. Las Culturistas calling. There is so much going on in the news. Yeah. Oh, my God. In the news, topically, there is a lot going on. And we have actually, one of our guests is absolutely trolling us by sort of

mouthing along what we say sort of and it's just gesticulating the way that we gesticulate it's very rude it's very rude he doesn't understand the new sort of ways we have to visually like make this compelling for everybody on the zoom um we're back to recording on zooms in case in case um that's not evident uh gosh this ellen news what do you make of it let's just talk quickly not surprised at all like let's just wrap it up in a bow and move on with our lives i would say but but here's what i think ellen should do i don't think it's over for ellen i just think she should pivot to mean she should get like an hbo show that's like a mockumentary style thing which where she's like curb your enthusiasm but ellen is being hbo show that's like a mockumentary style thing which where she's like

curbing her enthusiasm but ellen is being mean i think there's obviously a career for her but she'll have to be actually who she is which is not so nice um and she could have a show about that i don't think it's the end of the road for her i think it's the end of the road for her as nice ellen which wasn't true and never never was very jean Grey narrative there, isn't there? Well, you know Jean Grey. You know what? Yeah. She famously rose from the ashes and then was the phoenix. The dark phoenix.

And so Ellen will be the dark phoenix, I think. Don't you agree? I want to get dark Ellen. Yeah, I agree. I want to get dark Ellen. Portia is Cyclops. Portia has to die unfortunately no no I'm just kidding

I mean I do love that Portia is Julie Chan moonvesing the only way to do it in this town um but you know ultimately it's nothing that we haven't said since the third or fourth episode of this very damn podcast where we were like Ellen is not actually

it's not we who said it's you you were the person who really i stuck my neck out i was a whistleblower you were the pig sniffing out this truffle and oh is it a good truffle and and i've smelt many truffles in my day but none as rank as ellen's oh my truffle and when i first put my nose in her truffle, I said, this doesn't smell as good as the other truffles I've smelled as a pig. I have other news, speaking of animals. Yes. Oh my God, what is this?

Remember how I was talking about adopting that dog named Richard and I was gonna name him Dickie? Yes. Turns out that someone was listening to the podcast and heard me say this and realized they had just adopted that dog. Oh, my God. Can you imagine a lovely man named Donovan? A reader.

Donovan? Donovan. Donovan. My friend Jonathan Volokh has reached out to me and said that someone got in his DMs asking if we knew each other and then said yes and said, oh, my God. On the most recent podcast, he was talking about this dog, Richard, and that was the name of our adopted shelter dog. Can you ask me if this is the dog?

And I saw the picture and it was, oh my God. How does that? So the dog has a home. The dog has a home with a gay couple in silver Lake. Like it was intended. Like it was intended. Like,

like God intended it. But don't you feel sort of slighted in some way that you didn't end up with Dickie? No, because, I don't know, the more I think about it, the more I think, is it the time? Yeah, sure, sure, sure, I hear you. Would you pick up an animal right now? Dear goodness, no. Would never dream of picking up an animal. Oh, there's like a yappy little thing down the hall that's like four units down killer and well it's really sorry my our one guest is rubbing off

on me since the last time he was on he said kill them all kill them all this is terrible kill them all is the direct quote okay yeah why are we Why are we wasting any time? I mean, I've been so excited for months at this point to have our guests on. They were supposed to be on earlier. They're our sisters. They're our Dods. We love them so much. I mean, ostensibly,

this is supposed to be our drag race recap episode, but do I remember anything from 12 and All-Stars 5? I am watching Canadaada and i'm enjoying and we can we can bring our love canada canada is great canada is fun canada feels like early seasons drag race us don't you yeah i i would agree i it kind of feels like the girls aren't as wrapped up in the um social media of it all, if you will. And by social media element, I mean sort of in all the ways you can be aware of the fact that you're on TV and representing your brand. It feels like the UK version and also the Canada version are throwbacks to a time when people were just there to compete and be drag queens on television. Yes, yes.

And be brands on television. Yes, absolutely. there to compete and be drag queens on television yes brands on television yes absolutely um well i mean we will probably talk about drag race for i would say 45 seconds and then we'll talk about we'll just catch up and uh catch up as sisters as dodds right yeah i think we're just gonna catch up really this is really the first time the four of us have really shared a space. And in the new age, we do have to consider Zoom spaces. And it's actually rule of culture number 34. In this new age, we have to consider Zoom spaces. And this is now a sort of theater space, you know?

Yes. This is a theater space. This new way you're saying yes. Like this relaxed, like, yes. What is this that you're doing? Is it affect? You kind of pressured me into drinking alcohol. I normally don't have alcohol in the house.

I was sent a beautiful bottle of vodka. So I poured myself room temperature vodka and Diet Coke in one glass. And it's disgusting. I didn't pressure you to do that. I said that our two guests had two Negronis and that I had a grapefruit and makers which by the way is very good.

Oh that sounds good. I mean a diet coke and vodka that's the best I can do. It's the only thing I can do right now. But it is loosening me up and making me go yes! Ooh! I love to hear that you're loosened up and I know our guests will be so happy to hear this as well. And one of our guests is a novelist yes a novelist yes truly yes um a bestseller I would say

look it's a bestseller in my heart it has it feels like a bestseller to me. It feels like a bestseller. Like any old book can be a bestseller. Listen, it does feel like any old book released nowadays is a bestseller. Let's just say that. No, no, that's not what I mean. I'm saying this book, The Astonishing Life of August March, has bestseller energy. Say the name.

Has bestseller energy. It comes name. Has bestseller energy. It comes out in paperback next year in 2021. Did you know that? I didn't know. And good for you for knowing this timeline, this release timeline. Oh, I know everything. Oh my God.

You know everything. And our other guest is not. Our other guest is not, but he has been biking and he is getting a fat ass out of the biking. Oh, and listen, if I could pick have best selling book or have fat ass, I think we know what I'd choose.

Girl, what would you choose? Fat ass! I would choose fat ass! Yes! 100%! No question about it. Don't ask me. You already know my answer, bitch. It would be to have a fat ass. Don't ask me. Oh my god.

I think it might be time To let the goose hens Sort of from the pasture Yes the goose hens from the pasture So everyone please welcome into your ears Josh Lies All of it lies

Alphabetical order Alphabetical That's not how it works. It doesn't work alphabetical. Yes, the shorter name goes before the longer name. We've done alphabetical order, you stupid whore. You are one of the stupidest people in America. You're up there with Kanye.

Because I think that it's Josh Sharpe and Aaron Jackson. Are you all Matt and Bowen or Bowen and Matt? But that's alphabetical order. Matt Rogers, Bowen Yang. It's also the shorter name. We established this in the last episode that it's Aaron Jackson and Josh Sharp because for our purposes,

it's Aaron Jackson and Josh Sharp for alphabetical purposes. No, I don't think this... What do you want? Let's just ask these girls what they want. What do you guys want? Have we even been brought on or not? I don't know.

Josh Sharp and Erin Jackson, you're here. Hi. Hi. Hi, girls. Thanks for having us. How is the book selling? It is the number one world best-selling book in the world. That is incredible.

Congratulations. Thank you. That is incredible. Congratulations. That is incredible. I'm trying not to get a big head about it. That's so amazing. It's a household book. It's also the number one best-selling world book in paperback, even though it doesn't come out in 2021. That's pre-sales only.

The advance sales are outrageous for the paperback. That is huge. They're running out of trees. Oh my God, girl. If I can hug you right now, I would.

I know, but thank you. Yeah. Thanks. Okay. But wait, can we, can we get to the bottom of this?

How would you like to be introduced in what order? And we, we have established this, I swear to God, but let's just redo it. I think, honestly, I think alphabetical is just standard but I

do think well here's what I think Josh Sharp and Aaron Jackson sounds better but then I think it does but does Aaron and Josh sound better than Josh and Aaron Josh and Aaron is the way people refer to you guys Josh and Aaron when talking about you as a duo have we done you say you say Josh

and Aaron too we have had this exact conversation yeah I'm having real deja vu. Okay, but let's... Okay, Matt... I don't care. I'll concede... Can I say something? I don't care about deja vu that anyone's having.

Oh my God. I'll concede to Matt. Let's just... Let's do it, okay? So everyone, please welcome into your ears... Josh Sharp and Aaron Jackson. Thank you for having us. Thank you, girls. So girls so amazing now how's the

book selling it's the number wait a minute now I'm having deja blue oh deja blue oh my god front runner front runner for title of app deja blue deja blue that's my um that's my Drag Race All-Star Season 6 name. I'm not even going to do a regular season. No. All-Star. Straight to All-Star. It should go blue. Deja Blue is so stupid. And straight to All-Star is Deja Blue. I think your entrance line should be, you don't know me and you won't.

No, your entrance line should be, I blew past the competition. No, that's good. I'm going to say it should be like, I feel like I've been here before, but I haven't. Then shoot a gun. No, Deja. No, why did you bring guns into it?

Stop, Deja. A paintball gun full of blue paint. No, I don't like that imagery. I really don't. I don't like that. It'll be different by then. The world will be so different by then. It'll be really fun and funny. Yeah, you're right. You're right. Imagine shooting a gun

under a Biden presidency and how fun it will be. Imagine how different. Imagine a world like that. Remember when Ariana Grande iconically sang? I'm too hot. They made me turn off my fan. Whoa.

They made me turn off my... Whoa, Josh is fully... Are you already hot? Yes. It's tradition that we did not keep... We did not uphold in the second and third time

that Josh and Nia came back. But we were shirtless the first time we recorded. Oh, that is true. It was so hot. The first time in that damn apartment. I'm very hot now, too, because I turned off my air conditioning.

Should we all? I just took my clothes off. All right, now we're off. Anna. Amazing. Great job. And I think that- Hot executive producer, Anna, make sure we get some screenshots of this on the Zoom.

Yeah, get some screenshots of this, will you, darling? Honey, check in my post. dot com I just sold it to them bitch Anna be a darling get some screenshots of this I will say I love referring to people as a darling now I love that

with our cocktails and Bowen with his promotional vodka he described as disgusting promo bow I did not name the brand. You're a natural. You did. Con says video is being recorded. Taking shots.

Taking shots. Hottie Piana says taking shots. Oh, you know what? Oh, we should all do a shot. Okay. But this is, I hate the transaction of we'll send you something for free

and you have to like send us a DM back saying something nice. No, I don't think, actually I just got something for free and you have to like send us a DM back saying something nice. No, I agree. I don't think, actually I just got something for free as well and I don't think that the sort of meaning behind it all is you must now do anything. I think it's just a nice thing.

It's the expectation I feel. And what? I'm complaining about something that is truly meaningless. You're complaining about free shit. Girl, I'm aware. And I'm aware. You're complaining about free shit. Girl, I'm aware. And I'm aware. You're complaining about free shit. Oh, and I'm aware, darling dear. Darling dear is

something that I think I will give, I think Aaron originated, darling dear. Darling dear. I don't know about that one, darling dear. Darling dear. Well, who's to say now? I do want to share the story that josh had shared with me that josh and aaron uh had sort of share it so we can all together so we can all

share it in the 40s like the the the preeminent drag queen of the 40s uh we don't know her name it's from a podcast called the bowery Boys. We learned this information. Wonderful podcast. And they do like New York history and they're both gay. Rival podcast. Yeah, rival podcast. Any other podcast with gay hosts, that's a rival podcast. Rival podcast. And it was actually, it was the 20s.

Oh, I'm so sorry. It's okay. And this drag queen went out to the beach with some of her friends and there was a crazy thunderstorm in the distance, really wild, and she said, Mercy ain't Miss God cutting up something awful and then was struck by lightning and killed.

And that is true. Immediately. She said, Mercy ain't Miss God cutting up something awful. Clack, boom, dead. Wait, that's the title of that mercy mercy

cutting up or cooking up cutting up mercy I miss god cutting up something awful over there if the friends perished well they lived to tell the tale that's right

that's true they got right into a rowboat where is this coming from where how why did that get told on the pod just now they do history oh these gays these gays these gays telling it is because saturday we were at jacob reese beach and every time there was a big wave i would say mercy ain't miss god cutting up something awful tonight wait i'm so jealous that you guys get to go to the beach together and such things i had sand in my hair today still you all went we all went yeah well here's the thing i i my swim trunks were too tight and i chafed my inner thigh i have a rug burn in my inner thigh. It's the most painful pain I've ever experienced in my goddamn life.

To finally learn your lesson, stop being a hoe. Stop being a hoe. Wear baggy clothes. Stop being a thick-thighed hoe. Go nude. Or go nude. Maybe it's more a hoe. You two are always being salacious and you're always trying to get everyone to go nude and you're always being very salacious, you two.

I don't know about you two as an influence on Bowen. I don't. I don't for one second. Well, come out here and get your girl. I might have to come out there and get my girl from the clutches, like the likes of you. She likes it. I know she does.

Faggy talons. We've got him gripped good. Feed him to our little birds. Get your faggy talons. We've got him gripped good. Feed him to our little birds. Get your faggy talons out of my sister. One question I have is how many times have you guys been going to the beach together in your little pod? That was the only time. That was sort of my first time out. My first little outing where it felt sort of semi permissible to be social.

Right. You know, outside with friends. I'm actually making my way to the East Coast. Right. You know, outside with friends. I'm actually making my way to the East Coast this Friday. You didn't tell me this. You are. Are you going to Long? I'm going to Long.

I haven't seen my parents since Christmas. So this is Christmas. Good reference. Good reference. Really good reference. So this is Christmas. Hey, you guys know this one? I don't want a lot is Christmas. Hey, you guys know this one? I don't want a lot for Christmas.

No, I don't. Keep singing until I get it. I need more. Keep singing, Matt. There is just one thing I need. Ooh, that was a good one. Oh, that's good. I don't care about the presents.

Matt, I saw you get dragged on your Instagram for just enjoying music. Can I talk about how I was dragged? Wait, what happened? Yeah, what happened? What happened? I did. What had happened was I did what I thought was a nice thing. And for my beloved boyfriend, Jared's 30th birthday, I got him a record player and also the beginnings beginnings of a record collection like a vinyl collection someone someone shaded you for the for your player

yeah they shaded me for having a crossley because i also bought one for myself and i was like this is fun and now i've started my very own record collection i'd love to tell you guys what i have i have a lot of good stuff please um like right now shania twain come on over and stare me in the face um but anyway i sort of was listening to a old mariah album and i like posted about it on insta because i just had to share in the joy and the dragging i got for owning a crossley record player people telling me that mariah deserves better i make money how could i like people saying that's going to damage my records, all these drags and such. And they didn't stop the entire 24 hour period that the story was up.

What's so bad about the Crosleys? I don't, I don't really know my record players. So I'm told that they're more for show and that they might not be the best brand for record playing. Cause they might damage the records a little bit, but honey, you're a show dog. You're a damn show pooch bitch woof woof show

darling category toys bitch as I always say every time I walk into any new room tag my fat ass with a big bow bitch it's best in show ho yes tag i said tag my fat ass with a big bow bitch hell yeah and then you know some lady in a blazer wants to look at your asshole make sure everything's right yeah and i tell her you know what i tell her i say bye karen oh okay we're getting political and she has we got political and what and what does she say back she has nothing to say back oh yeah cause once you call her she walks away on her little biscuit one inch heels in shame yeah she walks away in shame and her visor be falling off

her visor be falling off and I say honey turn around and pick up your visor no one's gonna pick it up for you witch witch witch is that like a wet witch w-e-t-c-h title of app

can I say something to the three of you I don't know three more witches than you mercy ain't miss god cutting up something awful tonight I know some watches That are not on this zoom Spill the tea

You know A lot of the girls from Drag Race season 12 All Stars 5 Canada's Drag Race Drag Race UK We watched that one episode, but you're not watching. I've seen one out of order.

I can't get due to Sony. I streamed through a PlayStation 4 all these apps, and due to Sony's laws with World of Wonder, I can't get that app, and I don't want to watch it on my laptop. You need to bite the bullet and get

an Apple TV, because it's the only way forward. It's 10 steps back. Tim Cook, our gay overlord, give him more of my money. Daddy. I would spread it for him. No, well, to go back to the Crosley thing. Skinny legend.

Bowen, please. It's like when people say, oh, Androids are better phones. It's like, yeah, but I'm going with the iPhone, Wetch. I'm sorry. Excuse me, Wetch. I'm just going to be getting

everyone's DMs back and saying, get out of here, Wetch. That's good. Or why don't you respond, wow, this really hurt my feelings. And then block. Wait for the scene

and then you block. Yeah. You know what? At what point do you pop off on a on a dm and you go you know what you better you better you better cut it out because there are some watches out you better cut it out because that really hurt my feelings hey listen here you better cut it out hey pal yeah well let's talk about drag race because that's why you're here and then you gotta go as i want to say a caveat at the beginning as i always say all of them are more talented than me i'm not gonna compliment one other than writing novels yeah other than my number one world

bestseller the astonishing life of august march uh you think that the number one thing the world is talking about is miss corona no bitch, bitch. They're all reading Astonishing Life. Astonishing Life. Astonishing Life. I had a lot of fun in season 12. UK was canon, though. UK is really what we should talk about. UK was honestly good.

UK is canon. It was so good, you guys. They were all really funny. What are we talking about? UK? UK. I thought they were all good. And it reminded me of like season five when

after the first like couple went home I was sad every time one of them went home which now I'm like that never happens that never also two things that have made it into Aaron eyes vernacular one is I don't think to tap a line with like you know when he was like a red a red wig and a silver dress I don't think yeah yeah yeah I don't think and also ketamine is iconic ketamine I was addicted to drugs what drug were you addicted to ketamine ketamine ketamine

but apparently bag of chips is a full on tory I know that's tragic but I think she's just like young I read it and I don't think I don't think she is. I read an article that was more like she's just one of those sort of like, I don't know, kind of like, you know, equal opportunity. Yeah, but isn't that stupid?

I feel like in a couple years she'll come around and be like, I made me mistakes. So she's like a full on Taylor Swift, but with shitty teeth. I made me mistakes. She's richer. She's richer than Taylor. She's more, she's richer. She's richer.

She's richer than Taylor. She's richer than Taylor. Wait, you think? Oh my God. Whoa, don't tell Taylor that. She'd be so upset. She'd write another sad album. This fall on Bravo.

It's time to turn up. Think you've seen it all? I don't think you've been a good friend to me lately We're friends like that, who needs enemies? You ain't seen nothing yet Cheers to being Germanic With the Real Housewives of Potomac Oh my gosh, can I take this in?

It's gonna be amazing New York City Everyone is a gossip No one gets a happier life Salt Lake City We don't wear costumes, we wear fashion And below deck sailing You broke the rules

And now you're here getting upset Watch all new seasons on Bravovo or stream it on city tv plus i'm julian edelman i'm rob grankowski guess what folks we're teammates again and we're gonna welcome you guys all to dudes on dudes i'm a dude you're a dude and dudes on dudes is our brand new show we're gonna going to highlight players, peers, guys that we played against, legends from the past, and we're just going to sit here and talk about them. And we'll get into the types of dudes. What kind of types of dudes are there, Gronk?

We got studs, wizards. We got freaks. Or dudes dudes. We got dogs. Dogs. We'll break down their games. We'll share some insider stories and determine what kind of dude each of these dudes are. Is Randy Moss a stud or a freak?

Is Tom Brady a dog or a dude's dude? We're going to find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, a five-year-old boy floated alone in the ocean. He had lost his mother, trying to

reach Florida from Cuba. He looked like a little angel. I mean, he looked so fresh. And his name, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere. Elian Gonzalez. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian Gonzalez. At headlines everywhere. Elian Gonzalez. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian.

Elian. Elian Gonzalez. At the heart of the story is a young boy and the question of who he belongs with. His father in Cuba. Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. At the heart of it all is still this painful family separation.

Something that as a Cuban, I know all too well. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, as part of the My Cultura podcast network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Sheryl Swoops, WNBA champ, three-time Olympian, and basketball Hall of Famer. I'm a mom, and I'm a woman. I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby, journalist, sports reporter, basketball analyst, a wife, and I'm also a woman.

And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. See, athlete or not, we all know it takes a lot as women to be at the top of our game. We want to share those stories about balancing work and relationships, motherhood, career shifts, you know, just all the we go through. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women. And T and I, well, we have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby, an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Did we agree with the Vivian winning? Yeah, I didn't really care. I thought she was great. I sort of wanted, um... Divina. But Divina I was sort of rooting for, but yeah.

The Vivian made sense. What if Cheryl Hole had won? That would have been iconic. Honestly, Cheryl Hole is my favorite name of any drag queen. She's so cool. Just Cheryl Cole, but not Cole, it's Hole. Hole. Cheryl.

And when she met her and she was like so touched, she's like, my name's named after you. My name's Cheryl Hole. It was so funny. I loved that. The Canada names are out of control. There's a Boa, a Bobo, and a Jimbo all in the same season. Oh, but they're all fantastic.

Yeah, but Jimbo is everything and more. Jimbo is Jimbo. It. Jimbo is like once in a franchise. Yep. Jimbo gives me Alaska Gives me Sharon Boundary pushing

Priyanka's serving you sort of story pirate synergy Oh that's fun Now wait elaborate on this Well Priyanka I think was on a kids show Or something right Oh sure sure sure Yeah yeah yeah And very animated with the arms

Don't they film or that was when we were children didn't they film like every nickelodeon show in toronto a lot of them like the secret what was her shelby woo the mysteries and alex mack and alex mack didn't they film all of those and wait but roger you would know did they shoot the audience shows in orlando like at studios yes they did at the at the universal studios florida the double darren of it all legends of the hidden temple i don't know about that actually how about guts for sure with mike o'malley but that was when they had the the nickelodeon studios at universal studios you could go and like um watch a tape while you were in the park you could go watch a taping of a show yeah

put your feet up yeah absolutely kicked absolutely. Kick your damn feet up. Have a glass of jizz or whatever it's called. Yeah, a glass of jizz. What's that called? No, that's it. No, that's it. You got it. Kids love it.

It's called a glass of jizz. All of the children go to Nickelodeon World and have jizz to drink. Gag. Gag. Have a glass of jizz. Glass of jizz. Pour Have a glass of jizz. Glass of jizz. Pour a hot glass of jizz, courtesy of Bowen's co-worker, Kenan.

Wow. Do you ever just look Kenan in the eyes and say, you are so iconic? I say that every time I see him. He really is. He is iconic. Absolutely. He's been a sketch actor since he was fetile. Fetal.

Fetal. A zygotic blastulic another emmy nomination for him and can we just say stop being cowards give keenan the emmy yes everyone in the television academy myself included is a faggot until they vote for keenan and then your your faggotry melts away because you finally made a sensible decision in your life. Sensible meaning straight. And you're no longer a faggot. Kenan should win,

and I hope that our endorsement did not hurt him just now. Oh. But no, he should win. And honestly, also, we have to say, shout out to friend of the pod, friend of this quartet, Darcy Carden. Oh, my God. Darcy.

Miss Carden, Miss Arrowcan. That was so- Got it. Finally. Finally, and couldn't happen to us. Weeder Peach. Oh, my God. I think the last time we all saw each other was when we were on the Zoom for your book release, Aaron.

Oh my god, and Darcy was there. That was before it was the number one Simpler Time. That was before the whirlwind. The whirlwind. And Darcy sort of ran the room in the Zoom book show. This Zoom was really stacked and it really gave you best seller energy. Totally.

It just pretended that, I think. and it was really fun for you all get to meet um my all uh woman team at harper collins who are all iconic and all you know like they really were iconic they were really iconic they were all zooming from like the most gorgeous sunlit kitchen shelter island yes i'm like oh i want that life nowhere near a major metropolitan now that i'm thinking about it do we literally know half of that category because of course we'll get to give it the fuck up for betty betty betty gilpin nominated again and and kate and miss cecily finally i know huge deal and she and darcy we know half of that category no more than half

but i think there's like eight fucking nominees how many are there there's so many literally there's 56 nominees in the category yeah yeah so actually i won't do the math until you do the reading read the list of the names darling dear darling dear i don't know why it's because you want to know why there's eight because they have these weird rules now where it's like the number of people that are submitted dictate how many spots

there are in the category so that's why that's why in like sketch series there's only three nominees that's big millennial energy of everyone gets a prize

yeah and I think that not everyone should get a prize and I think it should be our four friends and of course the amazing Alex Borstein!

For the win darling! Oh my god, I can't wait for Alex Borstein to win another Emmy and then over Zoom promote her line of like I don't know, Lycra. Tube socks. She's a line? No, we're simply guessing.

No, we're guessing. She designs like, I think like I want to say bras i don't i mean like i mean no she like has she's running a damn business a damn clothing she was really good in the nurse in the nurse show getting on she was really good as miss swan she was really good bowen really stands miss swan i don't stand miss swan you're on this podcast saying you can't do this now i'm sorry no or my feelings on Miss Swan can develop over time it can be complicated

no I want to put getting on everyone on that show is amazing Laurie Metcalf Alex Borstein and Niecy Nash Niecy Nash is so good playing like grounded and like straight manning Alex Borstein and Laurie Metcalf I'm like that's incredible she's so good at it Laurie Metcalf. I'm like, that's incredible. Emmy nominee for that show, too. She got it.

And Laurie Metcalf, I mean, that's some of the truly some of the best acting. Because she was insane yet seemed completely real. Insane yet competent in this high power, high status role. Such a fun

role for her to play. Go off. Go off on and she loves the stage she's always on the stage miss hillary and clinton and always at that same theater every one of her shows is that the same theater is it the boot the booth no no no it's the um i'd have to look it up it's where they did a doll's house where i saw her in a doll's house i saw her in three have a lot of the plays because they have limited runs and then they have smaller houses, which is better for a play than like a wicked!

That was good. Thank you. I'm trained. Okay, talk about how you went to school with Catherine McPhee. Yes. I did go to school with Catherine McPhee. A fun, she's so nice. She was always really sweet and she dropped out i guess her junior year to go do idol and she was the class ahead of me but a really fun story um is that it

was between her and my sister for a part in the main stage and my sister got it that's a fun story she made katherine mcphee foster eat absolute shit that day. She said, have fun learning my lines as the understudy and not going on, dear. She said, wetch. She said, here's the lines for the understudy, wetch. Say hi to Simon Cowell for me. Have fun losing to a middle-aged man named Taylor.

Middle-aged? He was 27. But he had the premature gray. He actually suffered from looking middle-aged. But that middle aged I mean you can't win where is he now? well he could win and did win playing his harmonica that was pre they

didn't allow them instruments yet right? that's when the boys that liked guitar just held the mic stands it was several years after there was an era where they were like you could tell they felt really uncomfortable with their hands They would just hold the mic stands And tilt it horizontally Yeah, Daughtry would basically hold it

At an angle the whole time Yeah, and you're like, you need a guitar Daughtry was Carrie Underwood's season? No, sir No, no, no, that's wrong So Carrie Underwood is the season four And then Catherine Mcphee came in second on season five the daughtry was four or three and elliot no three was all the gals yeah it was

jennifer hudson getting like 12th place right right right i just want to take it back and say it's the john golden theater i figured it out okay that's what laurie loves oh hold on wait wanted to wanted to put the alex Borstein thing to bed really quick. Put a pin in that. With this factoid. Did you know, and I will check with him about this again. Mary, did you know? But he's brought it up many times.

Jared Frieder, my boyfriend, is distant cousins with Alex Borstein. Okay. You know, that tracks to me. Okay. Why, Jewish? Here's something. My grandmother is from Kentucky and got really into genealogy. And she says that our people used to come from North Carolina,

which is where Josh is from, and said that we are sharps in the past. So she says that we're cousins. She's like, that friend of yours, you know, that you write with, you're cousins. And I'm like, well, we're... Kissing cousins. I said, we're country cousins. Yeah, that's why it's unholy what we have done. Oh, my God.

An abomination. How many times sexual partner? Four? I don't know the exact number. We always just say two. Two. But it's maybe three or four, right? Yeah.

I think it's like a loose... It's like, what do you count sometimes? Yeah, what do you count sometimes? Maybe it's 12. Maybe it's a loose, it's like, what do you count sometimes? Yeah, what do you count sometimes? Maybe it's 12, maybe it's one, you know? But it's been years. I don't really know what to count sometimes. But the rhythm of the joke works best with two, I think. I agree, I agree.

And when the joke was born, it was true. We were two time sexual partners at that, when we started saying that. And then we, when we hooked up again, was like, let's just keep saying two, it's funnier than three. I mean, how do you said three?

That would have made the audience that regularly comes to see you. Truly. I believe that when it did happen, we did reference it. We did the same joke. And then of course said, actually we have again, it's three,

but the joke doesn't scan. And then just moved right on. So we did, I think out ourselves. I think I might've been there for that show. Actually, you know, I famously went to a lot of your shows.

Was it? Yeah. At duplex duplex. Big know, I famously went to a lot of your shows. Was it Big Fan? At Duplex. Duplex. At Duplex. Big fan here. Oh, I hope she makes it. I hope she makes it.

But Julius is the one that's in real danger. Well, now they've got, they're open for reservations. You can go and have a drink. And they did raise money on their fundraiser. So I'm sort of hoping that maybe that got them in a better place. That's good. Also, Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper, money on their fundraiser so i'm sort of hoping that maybe that got them in a better place that's good also andy cohen and um anderson cooper i've seen them in and out of that bar like leaving it and if i think if you are that rich and have gone there take care of it darling

take care of the bar yeah julius closes we all all of us faggots get our pitchforks and storm anderson cooper's you know fucking mansion and say how could you not you know's, you know, fucking mansion and say, how could you not, you know? How could you not? I've seen you in there. How much do you think the monthly rent at the duplex is? Four or five dollars? I'll tell you what, it's easy enough for a Vanderbilt to afford,

that's for sure. Dang. Dang. No, I'm talking about the duplex. Oh, the duplex, the duplex. The duplex is big, so it's probably expensive. Well, Anderson Cooper is a Vanderbilt.

Vanderbilt. Spitting, chewing tobacco out the side of his mouth. I have no clue what the duplex rent is, actually. I'm not good with these real estate numbers. Neither am I. I know that the cowgirl in the village, that restaurant, is something insane, like $30,000 a month, and that was like a while ago.

So I can't imagine it's cheap. Then my thing is like, how are the, that's the crazy thing is it's like, you know, you hear about how these places are doing even in regular times of economic, quote unquote,

prosperity. Now it's like, how are they doing this at all? Restaurants like are always, even successful ones are like a breath away from closing yeah we can't be losing the duplex we can't be losing all well i think stonewall is historically landmark historically stonewall is gonna be fine duplex is not duplex is not a historical landmark not despite what they'd have you believe by who they've painted

on the walls you know yeah yeah yeah sure despite the fact that every show starts with you uh new york's historic cabaret theater well you know what miss streisand should chip in for the duplex yeah babs babs should save duplex andy woody allen yeah woody allen should save the duplex woody allen pony up pony, pony up Pony up And pay reparations All can be forgiven Wait, I have to tell this story That's one of my favorite times Right before pandemic I went and finally saw a baby tea brunch

With Charlene and Dolphine Of Bushwick Tyler Ashley Where you know they do this four hour long non-stop drag show They did it again last weekend I know At one point they were in the middle of the pop suite and there was like you know about 40 minutes of pop songs and um michael michael jackson's free willy song came on and tyler was sort of like lip-syncing it and charlene was on the other side of the restaurant sprinted across just to grab the

mic right when michael jack Jackson started and go all is forgiven and it is the hardest I've ever laughed all is forgiven she ran just to say that all is forgiven yeah they're back to doing it on the roofs thank god well the last time they did it on the roof there was no audience

but this time there was an audience of masked people outside sitting spaced apart cute they were doing that drive and drag here in LA but this time there was an audience of masked people outside sitting spaced apart. Cute. You know, they were doing that drive and drag here in LA. I know that looked fun. You know who went the other day was Ben Platt. He said it was really fun.

And then I went, I was inspired to try to buy tickets last night, and then they were all sold out. But I heard it was really cool. I saw Miss Nick Laughlin there posting a lot of content. Yes, I also saw that young girl posting a lot of content, especially with Miss miss plastique oh yeah and of course alaska is queen but plastique did some crazy number yeah they were all doing crazy numbers violet was doing her aerial stuff her silks yes her silks you know danji can really dance more than i knew she could, that's why she got brought on to be an assassin and then they gave her some like

Joni Mitchell song. Open your legs to me. I should have done that. Can we talk about that? Wait, let's reign it in for a second and talk about All-Stars 5. And the lip sync assassin of it all. Did this work for you girls and did it not?

Actually, I loved it because it was a way to like see all your faves again without having to see them on all stars like just which they all have been on or a lot of it was just like i don't know it was fun and i i loved that we got sort of a masked singer moment every week where they would say a bunch of guesses that were wrong as you were like seeing their boots be revealed it would always be like they were like trinity trinity trinity is it latrice they'd all just be saying names. Right. I loved The Assassin. I thought that was a fun advent

in Drag Race All-Stars technology. Yeah. I thought it kind of fucked up the numbers a little bit, or the wins, or the baseball cards. If you lost when you won, it felt like shameful. Which, Cracker lost?

All of hers? Or did she win one of them? No, Cracker beat Kennedy. She won the last one. Oh yeah, that one was like not even fair. That didn't count. She tied Morgan McMichaels. Right.

Oh, I forgot that that one was a tie. I'm saying like, if they had done the traditional All-Stars 2 through 4 format, then Jujubee would have definitely been in the top two like at least three weeks. Except I think they wanted Juju to win the stand-up challenge. You mean the like, oh, you're in the bottom.

Or that there's two winners and then the two winners lip-sync for your legacy. Right, right, right. Yes, then Juju would have been in top every week. Yes, you're right. And I thought, Shay, I was very happy Shay won, but i will say have always loved juju since season two and i thought she really did a wonderful job yet again to i was i was i was part of me was expecting her to not you know sort of modernize with the culture the shifts that have happened since season two

but i feel like she's just like just as wonderful and compelling of like as she was back then and i'm just like oh yeah she's like caught to level like narration like just wonderful and just funny in the challenges and made the final three every single time she's been on the only plus to her not winning is i hope that just every other year they bring her back to make top three like just forever just be like every other year they bring her back to make top three. Like just forever. Just be like every other all-stars and Jujubee. Yes. Yes. We love that. I thought the top three was great.

And the only person I missed being there was Alexis Mateo, because I think that low-key Alexis Mateo. Especially top four. I wish she had been top four. Yeah. Alexis Mateo was killing it and being so funny without really trying, which is, I think the best way to be and

then it was involved in drama which is great a lot of these all stars girls were acting like they hadn't been on the show before and like stirring up shit where it was like wow you've even been here and you're still they had like Juju, Alexis and India like real queens before drag race

so they were like I'll talk shit I don't care which was fun but whatever they were like, I'll talk shit. I don't care. Which was fun. But whatever. They were like, being here is not a given for me. So the fact that you're allowing me any platform at all,

I will do whatever you want. And Angina, I wish had stayed longer, but she also was stirring up shit when she was there. She was like, well, Derek told me this.

You just got here. I like those queens we do love we touched on this last week we do love Derek though at this point oh yeah I love Derek

Derek is canon Derek is canon I wish Derek had lasted a couple more yes for the India Derek drama it was funny nobody was killed

nobody was killed nobody was killed nobody was killed people died people were killed nobody was killed? Nobody was killed. Nobody was killed? People died. People died. People were killed. Nobody was killed? Nobody was killed. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City are back.

I love that. I love that. Oh my gosh. Welcome. And last season's drama was just the tip of the iceberg. You're recording us? I am disgusted. Never in a million years after everything we've been through

did I think that you would reach out to our sworn enemy. We were friends. How could you do this to me? I don't trust her. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Wednesdays at 9 on Bravo or stream it on City TV+. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski.

Guess what, folks? We're teammates again. And we're going to welcome you guys all to Dudes on Dudes. I'm a dude, you're a dude, and Dudes on Dudes is our brand new show. We're going to highlight players, peers, guys that we played against, legends from the past, and we're just going to sit here and talk about them. And we'll get into the types of dudes. What kind of types of dudes are there, Gronk? We got studs, wizards. We got freaks.

Or dudes dude. We got dogs. Dogs. We'll break down their games. We'll share some insider stories and determine what kind of dude each of these dudes are. Is Randy Moss a stud or a freak? Is Tom Brady a dog or a dude's dude? We're going to find out, Jules.

New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, a five-year-old boy floated alone in the ocean. He had lost his mother trying to reach Florida from Cuba. He looked like a little angel. I mean, he looked so fresh. And his name, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere.

Elian Gonzalez. Elian Gonzalez. Elian. Elian. Elian Gonzalez. At the heart of the story is a young boy and the question of who he belongs with. His father in Cuba. Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him.

Or his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. At the heart of it all is still this painful family separation. Something that as a Cuban, I know all too well. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story as part of the My Cultura podcast network available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I'm Cheryl Swoops, WNBA champ, three-time Olympian, and Basketball Hall of Famer. I'm a mom, and I'm a woman. I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby, journalist, sports reporter, basketball analyst, a wife, and I'm also a woman. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. See, athlete or not, we all know it takes a lot as women to be at the top of our game. We want to share those stories about balancing work and relationships, motherhood, career shifts. You know, just all the shit we go through. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women.

And T and I, well, we have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby, an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by your podcast presented by elf beauty founding partner of iheart women's sports ultimately it's like yes was it a knockdown drag out win for shea ultimately yes because in that final challenge there was no one to compete with her like she is essentially is her drag is like that engineered to do that execute that like exactly big old pop star moment at the end but i will say i don't think it was the clear win that alaska's was right and i don't think and i don't think i don't think i don't know but it but ultimately yes was she the winner yes but bowen and i were saying all season long like who was the star of the show who was the most fun to watch

Jujubee it was Juju season like Katya you know it's like yeah there's more than one winner really really really when you think about it and I want to say about season 12 really really quickly she's incredibly talented

I had so much fun hating Crystal Method the whole season she's incredibly talented I had so much fun hating Crystal Method the whole season she's very very good I just loved to make fun of her also a different kind of story pirates energy from Crystal Method absolutely

stop just like I pulled all the wigs out of that old suitcase you know that performer that goes out there and is like and you're like oh god when they did the political challenge and had to like you know improvise and then the judges were like

you kept saying you'd bring glitter to the White House that's so funny great job finding your weird crystal she's really embracing her weird I'm sorry we love crystal method doing poppy for snatch game is one of like the worst choices that's ever been made on the show she should have been in the bottom though she should you believe she wasn't

because of her runway she was like rarely in the bottom and i think never but she never was never in the bottom yeah are you serious i but... She never lip synced. She was never in the bottom, yeah. Are you serious? I was surprised at how much I liked Canada Snatch Game. UK Snatch Game is one of the best Snatch Games of all, but Canada Snatch Game was great. I haven't seen it yet. I haven't seen it yet.

Jimbo. No spoilers, but what's wild is my only complaint about Canada so far has been like I'm having fun, but I like wish it was more like UK where not a lot of them are funny to me other than Jimbo. A lot of them are good drag queens, but I'm not always laughing a lot at Canada. But Snatch Game is so good. Snatch Game was solid.

Who was doing what, Bowen? Do you guys want to know? Yeah, Jimbo does Joan Rivers, and it's so fucking good. Oh, I can't believe no one's done her. I know. Isn't that crazy? And it's not even that Jimbo's impression is great. It's just that it's so funny.

It doesn't have to be a good impression. Just be funny. But meanwhile, Lemon does Jojo Siwa and it's, you know, very Chloe Feynman, but it's funny. I laughed a lot at it. Very Chloe Feynman. Scarlett, Bobo does Liza, but it was bad. It was a bad Liza.

It was a bad Liza that, again, I laughed at a lot. Like, a lot of the impressions were bad, but I was laughing at these girls. But the catchphrase, like, Bobo's catchphrase that she kept saying, even in the workroom, when she was, like, workshopping it, was, it's fucking Liza. But it's like, Liza Minnelli never said that, did she?

It's fucking Liza. I love that clip of Liza getting stopped by a TMZ. And they're like, rumors, huh? You can't sing. And she sings, no. And then, TMZ and they're like, rumors are you can't sing. And she sings, and then, but then when they're shutting the door, she goes,

thank you for caring. We talked about this at Brendan's canal. His episode is called. Thank you for caring. Oh, it's so good. Thank you for caring. Oh,

it really is a tragic, beautiful. She thinks it's funny. That's the biopic title. That's the biopic title. That's the biopic title. Thank you for caring. I hope not. You're my mentor too.

You're my mentor too. You're my mentor too. Thank you. I love you. You're my mentor too. She also improvised quote unquote on James Lipton's

Inside the Actor's Studio and then they're like playing music under her improv and she's at the actor's studio improvising with then they're like playing music under her improv and she's um at the actor's studio improvising with another again no one's there but like um to no one and and at the end she's like hey you know like where's your dorm or whatever but then at the very end she's like don't forget me as they like walk away and i love that well that's the last line of judy

don't forget don't forget about me. Promise you won't. And we won't, Judy. And we won't. And we won't. What's the most fucked up thing you've done during quarantine? Wow. What's the most fucked up thing? I will say this.

I'll say something. The other day I had four meals full. Wow. What were the meals? Between the hours of 11 a.m. and 7 p.m. Not even like spread out all day. You want to know what the meals were? Yes, please. Full orange chicken

and chow mein. Yum. Both. That counts as one meal at 11.30. Full both. Oh, a breakfast. Then at 12.45 1, I ordered three pies. I ordered an apple crumble. Wait, full pies or hand pies? Two apple crumbles and a blueberry crumble.

Ate them all. Full pies. No, no, crumbles. Jesse Mueller baking you the pie, singing to you. But a sugar apple crumble. I'm the one singing apple. To be pie. That was a good pie joke. Cat McPhee.

Then at 3.30, I ordered two chicken quesadillas from Taco Bell. And then finally at 5.30, I made myself a gigantic bowl of pasta. Not only four meals, but compressed. Out of the ass of sauce. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. The first meal at 11.30, the last at 5.30. I felt wretched afterwards, but I was like so hungry all day.

It was right. You were high? No? I was high, yes. Sickening? Remember the chihuahua? Yokiro Taco Bell? Yes, we love that chihuahua.

That bitch. That bitch. That chihuahua, that wetch is a moment of culture. She really should have been on this. That really was. It was like the Budweiser frogs where we said, we love animals talking about our foods, our drinks. We love that.

Back then, that was really cutting edge. 97, 96. We were just like, go off. This was the Air Bud generation. A dog talking was sort of, yeah. Air Bud didn't talk, did he? No, absolutely not. He could play sports.

And not just hoops. He did all sorts of sports. Well, his children went on to play soccer or football, as it's known internationally. That is how it's known. Wait, Josh, what's the most fucked up thing you've done? Hell yeah. What's the most fucked up thing?

I feel like I should have cataloged how many times but there certainly were like days that i like managed to come like six times in a day you know what i mean like i also just thought that like i think my record has been six where the penis hurts yeah exactly like a full like teenager like style masturbation day yeah yeah the balls don't move where the balls leak nothing. Sometimes, like, I'll just have jacked off so much that it'll just be like... Yeah. Sand. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sand. Yeah. A spider crawls out, whispers a curse, and then it falls. Yeah, and then immediately dies. And then immediately dies. Oh, wait. Wait. Spoiler, though.

Jimbo does steal a joke from you guys in her Snatch Game. As Joan Rivers, she goes, there's a bit towards the end where she keeps going, my vagina keeps falling out. Oh, yeah. There's a bumping noise. She goes, that's my vagina. It keeps falling out. Well.

That's an Aaron and Josh joke. When that joke exists on film, know that we did not copy Jimbo. We did not copy it. It's a pre-aws joke. When that joke exists on film, know that we did not copy Jimbo. It's a pre-existing joke. She must have seen a basement show at Upright Citizens Brigade. In the year 2004 of our lord. In the year of our lord. 1992. 1992.

The year was 1992. The best picture winner was Unfaithful. Bill Clinton had just won the presidency. Clinton newly in office well i mean what about you aaron most fucked up thing you've done okay well this is sort of a fucked up thing that happened to me as i got mono that attacked my liver and i had to get an mri and um because-body jaundice. I went to the hospital. During coronavirus? During coronavirus.

Is this when we thought you might have had it? Yeah, I thought I had corona, and then it turns out it was mono that turned into, like, seglometavirus or something. Oh, my God. All the doctors slip into my DMs and tell me I'm right. That you had corona? No, no, that I had seglometavirus. Yeah, yeah, yeah no i don't psycho mega vira yeah what is that what is

that what is that well i don't understand how you could not know from my explanation it's what happens to mano when attack your liver um gorge how did you get who were you kissing and tell me he's right who were you kissing that you got mano it's famously because i know from having it in third grade who are you kissing on the liver who are you kissing on the liver i kissed my husband by law but um i don't know if i got it from him common law fucking common um and then so i had to get an mri and while i got an mri um they like are in your ears and like what music do you want to listen to and i really panicked but then i said could you put on bjork's homogenic and then like um the you know they shoot cold like liquids into your veins so it shows up on the while like bjork was playing in my ears and i and i liked it and that's my god you fucking science freak you actually are a science project freak. I said, I like this cold shit in my veins while Bjork sings to me.

That's why it was fucked up. Bowen, what was the most fucked up thing you've done in quarantine thus far? I think it was just the other day. My curtain rods came undone. Right here, I'm pointing to them. Right there, my curtain rod is like. They look stunning. Well, yes, it's fixed. I hired a task rabbit to come in. And he came in. right here I'm pointing to them right there my curtain rod just like well yes

it's fixed but I hired a task rabbit to come in and he came in and he had like glitter nail polish I was like okay um nothing happened but there was a moment where I was like I could flirt with this guy and like whatever but then I decided

not to wait if that's the most fucked up thing you did in court is think about flirting with a guy and then not? That I was like this close to potentially like fucking a stranger in my own apartment. A task rabbit. In my damn COVID era apartment. Very chaste. Just to let you know when you said

and I didn't, lightning, I'm not kidding. Lightning and thunder happened. Mercy, Miss God was cutting up something awful. Mercy, Miss God was cutting up something awful. Yeah. Mercy, Miss God was cutting up something awful. Is this the hurricane? Are we getting a hurricane?

Yeah. This is the hurricane. Isaiah's. Isaiah. Wait. Isaiah with an S. I love an extra S. It's fully a hurricane now?

I believe so. I think it's a tropical storm. I think it's a trop-store. Trop-store. Trop-store. Trop-store. Tropstow. I think it's a Tropstow. Tropstow. Tropstow. Tropstow microwave dinners. Well, the fucktard thing I did today was I ordered two seamless dinners, but one is for tomorrow because I don't feel like ordering delivery tomorrow.

I do that all the time. I'll always order more. You got it from the same restaurant, of course, but just ordered two entrees. Ordered one dinner from Caviar. Ordered a different dinner from Seamless. Because you didn't want to just order something again tomorrow? I didn't want to make a delivery person go out and do the damn run tomorrow in the rain. Oh, because of the storm.

Okay, I get it now. I believe you deserve a Nobel Prize. Yeah. But it makes me feel fucked up because I'm just the glut of the food. I'm just looking at. So there's just there's there's really so much food in my apartment right now. Like I haven't refrigerated the second meal. I just feel very discombobulated.

And that's my shit. That's my shit. That's my shit. Ooh. Everyone take a shot. Take a shot of your drink. I'm almost gone with mine. All right.

Here's to the girls. Mine's done. Wait, did you like when... Maybe I already talked about this. Did you watch the Sondheim Zoom show for his birthday? I didn't. For some reason. When the three icons sang Ladies Who Launched?

Drew, Christine Baranski, and Meryl. Yeah, that was amazing. It was really, really good. I will say, in regards to that entire Zoom night, Christine Baranski and Meryl. Yeah. Yeah. That was amazing. It was really, really good. That was, I will say in regards to that entire zoom night, most of it was good. And then it felt really cheesy, very like absolutely musical theater.

So like, here we are on zoom, like giving you everything we've got, like, you know, which, which felt right. You know,

I also love any, any one of them deciding that they wanted to broadcast that they call him Steve. Like Donna Murphy being like, Steve, I love you, Steve. And I was like, you're super close. I also love Mandy and Bernie being like, acapella. No PN, no. Too good for it. Too good for it. Mandy Patinkin might be too good for it too good for it

Mandy Patinkin might be too good for it though Mandy is too good for it Mandy's insane I love she was so hot in Sunday in the Park go back and watch that and um the Princess Bride well yes but and Nico Montoya so hot

but that's not Mandy doing Mandy no yeah exactly but I did have a crush as a wee school girl yes Montoya, so hot. But that's not him doing, that's not Mandy doing Mandy. No, yeah, exactly. But I did have a crush as a wee school girl. Yes. I don't think. I was about that Carrie. That Carrie L was like. Yeah, me too.

I was kind of into them all, except the ones I wasn't. Interesting. Don't you think that Taylor Swift, she should write a musical version for Broadway of The Princess Bride? Now, Adam Gettle was doing it, but I believe was released. So, the gig is open for Taylor.

I think that Taylor should do it because I think that I'm trying to think about what Broadway musical she should do, like sort of how Sara Bareilles did Waitress. And I think The Princess Bride is perfectly Taylor's brand. Yeah. Maybe even more. Hmm. But you want to write originals, obviously. it's got princesses it's got princess it's got romance it's like but there's lots of jokes and i love taylor but i don't know that she's funny well then you here's what you do you complete an utter fag you hire someone who writes a good book duh no but i mean the song the song don't you imagine like

some funny songs between two like funny characters i think you haven't really listened to taylor because she actually can be quite a comedian yeah i don't know about that yeah you're right can you give us a few pieces how about this in gorgeous when she goes, alone. She goes, guess I'll just go back home to my cats. Alone. And she goes, in case you want to come along. Ding. I love that classic setup punchline. Yeah.

Here I am clutching my damn sides, laughing so damn hard. Look at the way I'm looking at you to telegraph that I'm mad. Very good. When I had a dog before she telegraph that I'm mad. Uh-huh. Very good. When I had a dog before she died. Well, this is bad for a podcast. Lady, the dog. One time she saw a dog across the street and went. But she just like, how would you say, jetted her neck out,

but like put her butt on the ground. The way Lady threw her a dirty look. The way Lady side-eyed. The way Lady side-eyed her. The way she threw Ghislaine. The way she threw-eyed her. The way she threw Ghislaine. The way she threw Ghislaine. Now, this is a fun game. Okay, so let's, some other pop stars, and let's

assign them an existing IP that they should turn into. And to be clear, this is to write original songs for. It's not like you're gonna jukebox this. Yes. No, no, no, yeah. Not their work, their writing. Okay, here's someone who I think is a mess but would write a good musical I don't know what one but Jessie J

I feel like would write a good musical of what existing property that's the game something like I do think she would have done a good like Mean Girls you know like very like Party in the USA like kind of cause she wrote that tune I think she could write something like Party in the USA, like kind of. Yeah. Because she wrote that tune, lest we forget. Yep. We can't forget.

I think she could write something like one of those. Yeah. Like a teen, or maybe Clueless, the musical. Oh, yeah. Jessie J would be good. Yeah. Matt disagrees. I feel like Jessie J should do something more like British.

Like Skins or something. Oh, yeah. Oh, Skins, the musical like like adapt or like something like that like or like bad education or something or like what's it called well what's the netflix thing sex education sex education yeah yeah um okay how about wait are we allowed i'm gonna just say one and the property. Rihanna does Cool Runnings the musical to honor her Jamaican roots. She's from Barbados, you complete fool. She's not Jamaican.

Calling you in, calling you up. Calling me in. Hey, Josh, calling you up and down. And shutting you down. The only one Rihanna... Rihanna should do the fucking Godfather. Okay, I Googled it. Rihanna... Rihanna should do the fucking Godfather. Okay, I googled it. Rihanna She should. That's rule of culture number nine.

Rihanna should do the fucking Godfather musical. The fucking Godfather. Book and lyrics and music. Okay, how about this? It would be really good. Joanna Newsome, Schindler's List. Yeah, that actually is good. She's not Jewish, but other than that. Doesn't need to be. Just like Rihanna doesn't have to beler's List. Yeah, that actually is good. I like that. She's not Jewish, but other than that.

She doesn't need to be. Just like Rihanna doesn't have to be Jamaican to do cool runnings. Very true. Yeah, you found that out, Bagel. To honor her Jamaican roots. Darling dear. I just Googled it. She has Jamaican citizenship, at least.

So thank God. Okay. Okay, thank God. She flashes the passport. All right. Let me write this. Honor her Jamaican passport. Let me write this. Feel the rhythm. Feel the passport. All right. Let me write this. Honor her Jamaican passport.

Let me write this. Feel the rhythm. Feel the ride. Jamaica, we are a bobsled team. There's already a song in it. Yeah. There's gorgeous music. Okay.

And it would be very Beetlejuice. That would be jump in line. And we know what? And bring the house down. Gaga would do a good beat. Would have done a good Beetlejuice. Oh, yeah. Gaga should do

something weird like Psycho. Psycho the music? Psycho happens. Like in the shower. No! American Psycho happens. Gaga should do the Silence of the Lambs. Oh, no. Billie Eilish should do Silence of the Lambs. Oh, no.

Billie Eilish should do Silence of the Lambs. Oh, that's really good. Wait, now I'm excited about these as if they're happening. Well, I'll call them. I'll call them all. Call them. Call them all. Call them all.

What should Mariah do? Something grand. Mariah was going to do Mean Girls. Mariah was supposed to work on mean girls oh that was the rumor she should do a christmas musical she should do the grinch the musical she should do home alone home alone like a boy soprano whistle tone to the fucking gods mariah should do die hard oh that's good mariah should do In Bruges, another Christmas film. In Bruges.

In Bruges. Ooh, I love that. You know what Katy Perry should do? What? Oh, wow. That should be a good one, too. Katy Perry should do Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. I was thinking Katy Perry should do My Little Pony the stage musical.

Yeah. My Little Pony. the stage musical. Yeah, My Little Pony. Can I say, I'm still not over Daisies. I love Daisies by Katy Perry. Silence. Yeah, I don't have much to say about it, frankly. The album concept is so unfortunate. Smile, and she's in fucking a clown costume.

I don't think it's that bad. It's bad. She is not, at this stage in her career she should not she's regressing dear bone you know you know what you need to do smile oh my god that's what do you think of her matt have you watched the new idols seasons i do not watch the new american listen in the in the beginning of core when it was like oh god oh god what now yeah i watched some of this season of idol and katie perry really was giving it to And in the beginning of Core, when it was like, oh God, oh God. What now? Yeah. I watched some of the season of Idol and Katy Perry really was giving it to me as a judge in like a camp way.

I love that. What was she doing? Sometimes I can't wear a wig and I can't even think of what she was dressed as. But like sometimes would just be like fully like a remote control, like a cardboard box. And everyone would be like, what's this for? And she's like, I don't know. And you're like okay she's like in her home with a ring light like dressed in a big like refrigerator box costume she definitely was like

in an earlier season she was dressed up like a Disney character and I forget that was Disney day though at least but she kept the character yeah she was Ursula oh yeah yeah yeah and she was in character as Ursula and she was giving like negative critiques like in character oh no she was in character as Ursula? And she was giving negative critiques in character. Oh, no.

She was like, I didn't like the way you sang. It's like, that's not Ursula. Pat Carroll. Yeah, Pat Carroll. Oh, my God. She should have just pretended to steal everyone's voice and given no critiques. Are you guys excited about Melissa McCarthy becoming Ursula?

I think that could be fun. It's fine. It's fine. I love Melissa McCarthy. I just, I don that could be fun. It's fine. It's fine. I love Melissa McCarthy. I just, I don't know. I don't know who I want. They should have given it to a drag queen. Yeah, a drag queen.

I think she'll be fab. I think she'll be fab. She's really fun. I celebrate her. Miss Ginger Minj would have been exotic. Ginger Minj. An exotic choice. And then the world would have seen it.

No, I do mean when I say that Ginger Minj would have been great Ursula. She would have been great. She would have been great. I do mean when I say that Ginger Minj would have been great. She would have been great. 100%. And then honor the divine roots. Give it to a drag queen. You know? Is Beyonce ever going to do a stage musical? Maybe when she's like 85 and is like,

I don't know. She probably feels better than that. She needs that Tony. Does she have an Oscar yet for something? She does not She also doesn't have an Emmy What should Adele do? She should have for Homecoming Yeah well she absolutely should have for Homecoming

But they're giving it to James Corden Who plays Hopscotch It's like ridiculous That's insane they hate Beyonce They're jealous Adele Adele could write a good musical adele could do normal people normal people says bowen normal people yeah like something really something where like someone loses a baby you know it has a miscarriage like something uk and

something with a with like a whirlwind romance or tragedy. Deep loss. You know what Taylor should do? Love Actually. Yes, that's perfect for Taylor. It is. And she loves, she's an Anglophile. Adele should do Obvious Child. That's what it should be. She should be the Jenny Slater role.

Because Adele's funny, too. No, Adelele there's a funny there's a funny singer Pink should do Batman Forever don't even do other Batmans, just go straight to Forever I love that yeah, you're right

obviously you have Robin doing his aerial tricks a little bit of this, a little bit of that. You know. If you put it in the John Golden, Laurie Metcalf would play Batman. Yeah.

Robin, the artist, does maybe... Boogie Nights. Midsommar. Midsommar. She does Midsommar. Oh, that's a good Joanna Newsom too.

Oh yeah, Joanna Newsom for Midsommar would be good. Honestly, Billie Eilish for Hereditary. Yeah, that's a good Joanna Newsom, too. Oh, yeah. Joanna Newsom for Midsommar would be good. Honestly, Billie Eilish for Hereditary. Yeah, that's good. Billie Eilish for Hereditary. The musical everyone's gagging for. Clamoring for. And you know Toni Collette has a gorgeous, stunning voice,

and I'm not joking. Yeah, Toni should play the singing role of Toni Collette. She can pop right in, play the role, own it in all mediums. Absolutely. She won a Tony or just was nominated? Nominated. She hasn't won shit. Yeah, which is a tragedy.

I don't even think they've tossed her a golden globe as a pity. Sorry, babe, here's a globe. She may win an Emmy this year. She better. For Unbelievable. She better. Oh, but no, they give it to Merritt. No, because Merritt's not nominated. Honey, you got to read. They did not it to Merritt no because Merritt's not nominated

so they did not nominate Merritt Weber and they did not nominate Caitlin Deaver and they only nominated Caitlin Deaver didn't Merritt win she won so many Emmys she won for that other show

what was the other show she was in Pills Pills Pills Nurse Jackie she won for this show what was the other show she was in pills pills pills nurse jackie nurse jackie she won for this limited series too she's got a couple of emmys merit weaver taylor would be good for another for run for run taylor would be good for a nurse jackie musical sure yeah sure wait total total left turn yeah um have you have you guys seen legendary i've watched the first app and

i really like god you gotta watch the whole thing i will i really wonderful it happened at a time when i could not continue um but i will go back to it here's my impression of jamila judging oh your dancing your dancing was supreme house of balmain thank you for your supreme dancing tonight so matt sudi and i were watching

legendary in la and we were all stoned out of our minds and then i we were all just doing impressions of jamila and then mine for whatever reason was I mean like Matt and Sudie were doing actual impressions and mine I was I did not I could not generate the words and so instead I said your dancing was supreme and for some

reason just that's just a fun little your dancing was supreme it's just a fun little ear hit you're dancing? I don't's just a fun little ear hit. It's my ear. You're dancing? I don't think. Ketamine. Ketamine.

Ketamine. I don't think. I don't think. Ketamine. Ketamine. Who did the ketamine? The Viv. The Vivian.

Oh, the Viv. That's when we said crown her. What drug were you addicted to? Ketamine. Throw the crown on her. It's so Liverpool. And Davina did the I don't think that we love. I mean, she said it a bunch, but there was the one where they were reading her.

A red dress and a silver, a silver, what? A red wig and a silver dress. I don't think. They're like, oh, you always wear that red wig and that silver dress. And she goes, a red wig and a silver dress. I don't think. Baga doing much better was very good.

Much better. Much better. Much better. And very, very good. Much better. Much better. Much better. And very, very harsh. Very harsh. Very harsh. One thing I loved about Baga is when it got to the top three and it was like, why should you win?

Baga was just sort of like, to be honest, I've made it as far as I can go. Yeah. I just was like, I'm happy to be here. Give it to me. Give it to me. Give it to me. Give it to me. Give it to me.

Give it to me. Give it to me. Give it to me. Give it to me. Give it to me. Give it to me. Give it to me. Give it to me.

Give it to me. Give it to me. Give it to me. Give it to me. Give it to me. Give it to me. Give it to me. Give it to me.

You haven't seen UK? Huh? Matt hasn't seen UK? I've seen UK. Oh, thank God. I have seen UK? Huh? Matt hasn't seen UK? I've seen UK Oh thank god I have seen UK I thought that the top three were the only three I have seen the Chinese people

Despite me being I was a Cheryl Hull fan I love Cheryl Cheryl's very you Matt She is like the Alyssa sort of yeah i really loved blue hydrangea she was such a little bitch like her reads are so mean blue was great what about something what about something wrong i did love something i love something that's when i

started getting sad when they were leaving or maybe even right before her the one before her is what's... Vinegar Strokes. Vinegar Strokes. I even liked Vinegar who wasn't good, but I liked... Podge, Podge. She was fun.

She was great. Even the bisexual was like, okay. No, I loved the bisexual. Chris Scaredy Cat? Crystal. Oh, Scaredy Cat. Oh, wait, nevermind. Scaredy Cat.

Oh, she was a mess. I don't even think she was bi. There was a straight guy on it no she was straight for an episode and then it's like no no no I'm bi and everyone's like oh that checks out the bi one was Scaredy Cat right yes yes we need more straight men on Drag Race

that I don't know oh oh no no it was um had a weird name Crystal no we need a bio king we need a bio king on Drag Race No, it was... It had a weird name. Crystal? No. We need a bio king. We need a bio king on Drag Race. Gothic Barbie. Yes, yes, yes. But Gothic Barbie did that cat look

and came out in the runway and just went... No one's listening. No one's listening to me when I talk. What do you need? What do you need? He wants a bio king. We need a bio king on Drag Race. A straight male who dresses like a man.

A straight male who dresses. So not even just a bio king, a straight bio king. Straight heterosexual bio king. And they're like, the category is like prom and then just straight. And he doesn't even show up. He stays at home and yells at the tv screen because his team's losing go red socks honey you know rue wood rue wood rue would be like oh i like this and you're this guy this guy you know what he's real i don't know how brave it was of you to come on this show

and we i mean the internet's all doing it but everybody's dragging what's his name jeffrey boyer chapman for his like rue impression basically right that's the internet's all doing it, but everybody's dragging, what's his name, Jeffrey Boyer Chapman for his like Rue impression, basically, right? That's the Canada take that everybody's making. I think that if there's something off about the Canada version of Drag Race, it's the judging feels like not intentional. It feels like they're all doing shadows of what rue does and i think it's because they're not just letting brooklyn be the authority that brooklyn obviously should be and the guest judge thing is crazy that you meet the guest judge and then now they're instantly rue like i've only known you 10 seconds and you're like makes the best woman win and i'm like i think they're just there to host it like

they're the guest host and so the the other judges are the judges like jeffrey stacy and brooklyn are the judges but even that i'm like but the host is not doing the work room it's like i just met you at at minute 70 right i just think the show needs a host and the show needs an authority figure and i think it should be me I think it should be me and it should be Josh Josh yeah you're very Canadian and no I mean personally for me like I'm not loving the way that they're playing their roles because I feel Brooklyn feels restricted and I feel like

the other like Stacy I like but Jeffrey doesn't Stacy's great but the fact that the cast and the queens are so compelling and great and likable, I think speaks to, I mean,

like the fact that I'm still watching despite the judging, um, is just a testament to these Queens. And I hope the casting wins an Emmy. Yeah. I mean, Jimbo in that first episode when he was being blown by the fan. So funny.

I have seen that clip. I have blown by the fan I have seen that clip I have seen that clip and then this most recent lip sync the runway theme was Night of a Thousand Selenes and then the lip sync was it's great and the lip sync was I drove all night and it was

phenomenal lip sync yes yes it's exceeded my expectations I will say you know what I forgot It was phenomenal. That's great. Phenomenal lip sync. Yes, yes. It's a great one. It's exceeded my expectations, I will say. You know what I forgot? This is so, we're just talking about Drag Race, but I forgot how good that Brooklyn. Literally the reason we were here. Oh, but yuck.

I don't think that Evie and Brooklyn lip sync in season 11 is so good. I forgot about it. Sorry, not sorry. It's one of the best of the whole series. It's crazy. I didn't forget Evie doesn't have bones. Evie doesn't have bones,

but Brooklyn too, just throwing her body. I had to remind a Drag Race text thread when Evie was the assassin. They were like, why Evie? And I was like, she don't have bones. You're about to remember. She's about to bend.

And a true assassin. A true assassin. Oh, and we can talk about roxy roxy andrews yeah um her lip sync assassin was so good oh speaking of thick and amazing now that i got this fat bike and ass i think i need a thick and juicy strap to put across yes girl she should sell those roxy should sell those has yourxy should sell those. Has your ass gotten bigger? Is this a real thing? Yeah. I've got thick thighs and a fat ass, Rogers. He's been saying this since the moment he touched a bicycle.

I'm gonna get thick thighs and a fat ass. Honey, I biked Therese. 14 miles there, 14 back. You telling me I don't have a fat ass now, Matt? That's four miles. Honey, that's four miles. I only work out glutes. Okay. I only work out glutes. Okay.

Okay. She's a bomb tonight. You've got gorgeous glutes. You'll see me post it up in my room sort of like that. Like, oh my God, he just. My glutes are my number one attribute. I know what the girls want. Honey, I know, I've seen the Finsta.

Oh yeah, you've seen my Finsta where I show the finks. Hush, hush. Can't give that away. Do we all have Finstas? Error doesn't have a Finsta. I don't have a Finsta where I show the fakes. Hush, hush. Do we all have Finstas? Eric doesn't have a Finsta. I don't have a Finsta. And there's, you know, I don't think you need one. Sometimes I post disgusting things to close friends.

I sometimes do that too. And then I realized I think my close friends is just a little too wide. Mine is like every gay person when I did it that I put on it and then have never done it again. It's gay people. My hole is for my sisters only. That's sweet. Oh, that's sweet.

But between sisters, we can say between sisters, Leland should do the Broadway adaptation of drag race. Rue's working on it. I'm sure. Well, speaking of, we actually are doing ads on this podcast for drag race Vegas.

Oh, here's, here's what I want to do now even now this is well this is what i want well no it's not it's not for the show for the for the vh1 show for the vh1 show which i will watch well and i'm sure they they shot it as a docu-series as promo for the live show absolutely it does look expensive actually like it looks like a real docu-series in the trailer where you're like you shot this on real cameras, it looks like a real docuseries in the trailer where you're like, you shot this on real cameras. Yeah, it looks like the real world or whatever.

Yeah. The real world Miami. Uh-huh. There's nothing like the real world, and I do miss it. Let's bring it back. Reboots are in. Bitch. Raj, what reality show would you be on?

Survivor? Me? If you had to be on one. You'd kill on Big Brother. Do you think I would kill on Big Brother? Well, you'd be a memorable character and would not win. I think you would never win a reality show, but you'd get far. I think that's my narrative, too. I go far,

and then they're like, we gotta get rid of this guy. I think if I win on Amazing Race with my brother, we could win. No, it's producers. Do they want you to win? Because then they're like we got to get rid of this I think if I win on Amazing Race with my brother we could win no it's producers do they want you to win because they're like actually the plane's grounded and honey they do they want me to I don't know what I would be on I think I would be on I think that we would do really good on

Amazing Race no not Amazing Race I don't think we would do well I think you would do well maybe with someone else but I would not I think we'd be good on The think you would do well maybe with someone else, but I would not. You can come with me if you want. I think we'd be good on The Floor is Lava. Who's we? All of us. Me and my

girls. Me and my girls. I think the four of us would be good on it. That's good. Do they do four? I think three is the cap. I think three might be the cap, so one of us might have to sit out and watch when you guys vote for me to sit out. No, no, no. I'll cheer for you. You know when I come?

Josh and Aaron are tall, and they can bridge gaps very easily. Yeah, but you have the strongest legs so that you can jump the farthest. Wait, you can't sit out, Bowen. We can't have an all-white team. I won't allow that. Honey, they've been all white. I'm so sorry.

Honey, they've been all white. I'm so sorry. Honey, they've been all white. It is right wing entertainment. I'm not seeing enough color on the cast of Flora's Lava. The cast. It's a cast. I haven't watched it yet. Oh, it's so good.

Is it like Legends of the Hidden Temple? Like run around? Is it like those Japanese ones where they, like impossible obstacle courses where people fall a lot? Yeah, it is very Japanese, I would say. But for some reason, the veneer on it is very right-wing TV. It's very like Wipeout.

It's very like... Wipeout. Yeah, that is American Gladiator. Colin keeps calling it right-wing TV. It's for Republicans. No, I understand. Like it's American Gladiator, that whole American Gladiator. Colin keeps calling it right-wing TV. It's for Republicans. No, I understand. Like, it's American Gladiator, that whole... Yes, yes.

That whole gig. That whole gig. Darling. Dear. Darling dearest. Darling lamb. What would I be good on? I can't...

I feel like I'd be good on... Weakest Link. I'd be great on Weakest Link. That famous reality show. Wait, yes it is I should host weakest link oh my god you should there's a new weakest link on Quibi I think

you can do that famous catchphrase you are the weakest link I don't think ketamine ketamine you just keep saying ketamine you don't know if it's good or bad you just say it you just say it I do love RuPaul on weakest linkamine. You don't know if it's good or bad. You just say it. You just say it. I do love RuPaul on Weakest Link.

And I forget what the question was, but Ru clearly doesn't know the answer. So he just goes, Chaka Khan. Wait, what? When was Ru on Weakest Link? Ru was on Weakest Link in like what, 2002? Yeah.

Yeah, Celebrity Weakest Link in 2002 wearing like a fucking cheap ass blonde wig and pink sunglasses and a green top. Oh my god, really? Yeah Wasn't she? Oh, she was a millionaire as a boy, but she was on the famously on Project Runway like looking like shit Yeah, the famous photo that still haunts right right before the glow-up She looks like fucking Rebecca Glasscock season one, like just walked right out of the fucking rainbow.

With the season one lens too, with the filter. What are they going to bring her back for all stars? The Glasscock? I think she quit drag, but she'd do it again for me. I do. One text. I think she quit drag, but she'd do it again for me. One text from the world's bestselling author.

Honey, she's been crawling back. The barbie bowl is finally at number two, dear ones. I do think it would juice up all-stars if they start letting some of the girls from the other countries' seasons come on. I was going to say, that's a great idea. Like, I want bag of chips on an all-stars. And I want winners.

I bet, like, the Vivian would come and do an all-stars, and it would be such a good storyline. To break through the American market. And I want winners. I bet like the Vivian would come and do an all-stars and it would be such a good storyline. To break through the American market. You know she would. Hello. They should do like Miss Universe

and have Thailand and UK and Canada and US of A. US of A. And is it the one in, is it Venezuela? It's called The Switch. Oh, yeah.

The Switch. The Switch. I don't know why it's not called Drag Race. It's just called The Switch. They're about. I don't know why it's not called Drag Race. It's just called The Switch. They're about to start Holland's Drag Race. No way. Yeah, they're about to start Netherlands Drag Race.

Oh, good. There's not enough white queens. Mrs. Holland's Opus Drag Race. Oh, who should do that? Who should do the Broadway Mr. Holland's Opus? Mr. Holland's Opus. I've told this on a podcast before. That would have to be the amazing.

The incredible. Annie Lennox. Annie Lennox. Mary Morris should do Thelma and Louise. Oh, that's good. Wait, Aaron, what were we going to say? The only time I've ever seen Mr. Holland's Opus was in high school and I received my first blowjob to it.

That's iconic. By a young girl? She's a child now. Not from me. I'm not the father. She sucked your dick and she was absolutely hexed from that point on. She was hexed.

Mother Mary was cooking up some storm that night or whatever the phrase is. Mother Mary was cooking up some storm that night. What is it? Mercy. You got was cooking up some storm that night. What is it? Mercy. You got it. No, you got it. You got it.

Mother Mary was cooking up some something. Some jambalaya. Some storm tonight. Mother Mary was cooking up some jambalaya that night. Mother Mary was cooking up some jambalaya. What is it? Mercy me? It looks like God's coming.

Mercy me, Miss May has come in again. Mercy, here comes Mayhem Miller. Oh, God. I will say Mayhem Miller in the first episode of All-Stars 5 in the talent show, that song is so funny and stupid. I think that's iconic.

I thought it was good. She's not saying anything. I'm the queen! I am the queen! I'm the queen! The queen of the porn! Queen of the porn! My judging is so different from what happens on the show.

Oh, I know. Winner is what I screamed at Mayhem. Queen of the port! My judging is so different from what happens on the show. Yes. Oh, I know. I know. Winner is what I screamed at Mayhem. Bottom two, I say winner! Well, we all, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Crown crystal method. We had different opinions. Crown crystal. Crown crystal. But, you know, Aaron, if you bring back Glasscock, you're going to be competing against her as Deja Blue. I know. Deja Blue and me and Glasscock. I'll be like, this reminds me of our season.

You guys are going to have a... She won't even remember. Y'all will have a Vegas feud as well. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Okay, I think it's time don't you think I think it might be time is it at last time

I don't think so honey which is our you know one minute segment that we do to take just some time 60 seconds of time actually to be exact to rail against something in pop culture that we don't like no more no no no no and Matt do you have something

that you're gonna I don't think so honey I really don't like no more. No, no, no, no. And Matt, do you have something that you're gonna, I don't think so, honey? I really don't. Oh, okay. But I can, I can, I can. Okay. I can go. No, I'm going.

Okay, this is, okay, so Matt's gonna go. This is Matt Rogers, I don't think so, honey. His time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Cake. I don't like cake.

It's too filling. You have one bite of cake, you're done for the week fucker let me tell you something about birthday cake it's so sad to me and I don't think so honey that cake is what everyone gets on their birthday because guess what hon I prefer a cookie

a pie I prefer an ice cream cake just not that kind of cake and of course when I say cake of course I don't think so honey I'm saying ice cream cake I'm talking about that cake batter. Disgusting. Everyone knows the only good part of the cake is the frosting.

Cut to me, a young child, and whenever anyone would make cupcakes for the class, I would lick off the icing and leave the cake. And the teachers would yell and they'd say, why aren't you eating that whole thing? And I'd say, because I ate the good part. Little did I know, this wasn't even the cake I was eating. It was merely the icing because I don't like cake.

In fact, I don't think so. Honey cake from a very young age. Cake also makes your hips wide and not the good way. Not to receive in birth children. Honey just makes you big old, big old, big old boy. I don't think so. Honey cake. That's one minute.

Big old, big old, big old. Did you say not for receiving children? Not for receiving children. You know that feeling when you get fucked by a man? He puts his cum in you. You give birth to a child nine months later. You receive the child. Honey, that's what I call it.

You know that feeling when you get fucked by a man? There is something about sex, you know? There's something really enticing about it. Now, that's a unique thought. A man putting his penis inside of you. Oh, my goodness. To be filled with a penis. When's the last time?

Absolutely stuffed. Okay, so famously in my relationship that I'm in. Your marriage. Your marriage. your marriage. My marriage, I would call myself pretty distinctly the top. Yes. The topping partner. But very recently, due to medical procedures,

I bottomed for my lover. And then afterwards I said, and we have been together. You said that kind of, hey. I love her. And then afterwards I said, and we have been together. I said, we've been, we've been together over, I think like 13 or 14 years. I'd have to crunch the numbers. And then I asked him, I said,

how many times do you think you have topped me? Like how many times? And he was like, Hmm, less than 10. So I think that was like number four or five. But I bottomed in like, I think February or March. For another person.

Ever heard of opening? I have heard of it. Okay. Congratulations. And now is the time for Bowen Yang's I Don't Think So Honey. Oh, here we go. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. Surprise to him. All right. Bowen Yang, your time for your I Don't Think So Honey starts now. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Surprise to him. All right. Yeah. Bowen Yang, your time for your I Don't Think So Honey starts now. I Don't Think So Honey baking soda. Girl, she feels a little too mid-century to me, darling.

What are you doing sitting in my fridge? Absorbing all the odors? It feels like people use you to cook. I don't know what you do. Make yourself known, baking soda. You better rebrand so that the young children know what the hell your damn purpose even is. Baking soda, the Arm & Hammer, it invokes some socialist imagery for me. So unless you are-

30 seconds. Unless you're seizing the means of production, dear, or telling your customers how to do such a thing. Bitch, I don't think you're actually lining up politically with what your imagery portends it to be, darling dearest. I don't think so, honey. Baking soda, my fridge is a mess. And my fridge smells like the damn kimchi that I've stuck in there. And you can't even suck in the odors from the kimchi.

So I don't even know what the odors from the kimchi. I don't even know what you're doing baking soda. Can someone please tell me what the use of baking soda is? And that's one minute. Wow. I went against cake and you went against baking soda. Big baking. We don't love this I guess. I agree Bowen. I don't know what the hell you use

that stuff for. What do you use it for? You're right that it does feel very old wives tale to be like and it soaks in the odors like right right I don't know the science of that well ever told me no one's ever explained new girls who google it young fucking fools the google

the young girls who bake aren't using baking soda they're not wow anymore what the hell are they using sourdough starter. Adderall. Adderall. Ketamine. Ketamine. Now, which one of you would like to go first?

I don't care. I can go or I can give it to my sister. I don't care at all. Well, let's just say... Wait, make it one of you boys pick. We don't want to pick. I've chosen. Yes. I picked and Bone and I are going to say it at the same time oh i love that three two one josh wow okay okay this is josh sharps i don't think so honey his time starts now okay so y'all really want to know what I don't think. So, honey, huh?

Is that what y'all want to know? What the thing is that I, I'm talking to you, honey. The thing that I don't think is so? I bet you are dying to know what it is that I don't even think is so. The thing is, you don't know how pathetic you look right now. Waiting on me to tell you what it is that I don't think. 30 seconds. Here you are, 30

seconds in. You still don't even know what it is I don't think. Honey, you don't even know what it is that I don't even think. I'm begging, Dad. I'm begging, Dad. I know the girls at home in their car, Dad. Dad, I'm begging you, Dad.

I know the girls at home in their car, they're dying to know. You're thinking, how's he even going to get it out in 10 seconds? Please, Dad, please tell me what you're going to do. I'll tell you what it is. I don't think so, honey. Bees.

And not for the reason you think. Oh, girl. And that's one minute. That's one minute, Dad. Josh. Dad. Dad. Oh, I forgot about them.

You did it like bees had to end and I came all over myself. Thank you, Dodd, for letting me come about bees. Remember those two? I've watched them a bunch since we talked. They're always in the feed. They're always in the feed. They're so hot.

I fucking love them. I think they're so hot. They're paying a premium. Oh, sure. I i mean and i was telling air like an air he broke the news the last time you guys were on i think so they're both living in the dom's house and either the dom or the sub is learning how to drive yeah again we're starting and ending the episode just talking about the things we did last episode it's for the fans it's for the fans it's reward for the listeners it's reward it's reward now josh thank you thank you for edging us that was beautiful that was really good and now aaron we have your i don't think so honey is okay i have one and i just want

to say to everybody at home this is gonna quake you all right quake us quake you quake us all right and aaron jackson's i don't think so honey time starts now i don't think so honey typing on home row i hate the home row i like to free range my hands on the keyboard wherever i want i can peck i don't think so honey like a little chicken beak with my two indexes or I can slip and cross like I'm playing a hard piece of piano I don't think so honey sit in me in the computer lab

or on trails all I want to play and then I'm having to learn Miss Mavis Beacon telling me how to type with my piece I don't need to put my little ring finger on the semicolon, dear. I'm hardly ever using it. I don't think so.

Honey, the home row. If I want to slap the keys up and down, left and right, I will. 15 seconds. And what if I was good with me feet? I can't dare put those toesies on the home row. I don't think so. Honey, open your mind. The computer is not just for those.

And I think you are wrong. And that's one minute. I don't think so, honey. Typing on the home row. Typing on the home row. I'm so grateful for the home row. I do often, I start at home row and then I say, I'm going to be bad and just sort of do whatever I want.

But I love it when my index fingers touch those little, little ridges. Oh, I love those little buttons. It's so erotic to me because I feel like dot. Like dot. Makes you feel very dot. I think I have a real problem with the semicolon. I think if maybe they threw the comma or the period up there, I could get behind it.

Yeah, when are you using the damn semicolon? And then the other one's just the regular colon. When he's writing novels, he has to use semicolons all the time. That's why he's upset about home row. I could throw my ring down to get that. I'm using the period every damn minute. Wait, can I say something? You are really disrespectful.

As a novelist, you said no home row, a tool that's meant to help you type quicker, faster, better, stronger. Oh, bitch, don't even let me get started because I actually prefer longhand. Shut up. You would like to write your novel? No, you don't. I find longhand. I can get creativity flowing more easily, less judgmental when I sit in front of the

blank word cursor. And then I like to edit by putting it into the word document. Come through tactile analog queen, bitch. I find myself being less judgmental. Was this the process? I mean, I don't, I mostly write in the Word processor, but when I'm stuck, I find, I grab a notepad and I write longhand.

I find myself being more creative. He calls it the Word processor. Yeah. That's what it is. No, it's called it. I'm not brand loyal. It's called the computer, she says. No, the computer has got a lot of, the computer is

verse. I'm talking about the thing I write a novel on. You don't need to try to impress us. We already know you have a book. We know you have a book. We know it's the number one bestseller in the world and has been for years. In the world. You're never going to impress us more than you already have

okay sweetheart okay darling dear darling dearest wow to think that this was timeshare mercy ain't miss god done cut up something awful just now and it was this podcast miss god mercy me

you really did that one in the night in the night you really did that one in the night in the night you really did that one in the night you've gone ahead and done that one in the dark of night Miss Darling God gonna have to cut up that one I hope this was good I hope this lightning storm in New York doesn't kill any of us

girl don't speak too soon and that actually reminds me of a really good song to end with and you know that we always end with a song. But first we want to say thank you Josh and Aaron for coming. Or Aaron and Josh or whatever you fucking go by. Peace and love. Call us Arsh.

Arsh. Are you happy? Call us Jerong. I actually, I am really happy. We've been trying to make it happen for months. Too long. Absolutely. Too long.

We had to get you girls back on the schedule. And I can't wait to do it again one day in person. Yeah, but when will we ever see each other? This journey started in person. I'm just remembering. That was like right when Corona was hitting that this happened. Because you were supposed to come out. Literally, I was on my way to New York.

It was like early March. It was March, I believe. I was supposed to fly out on the 13th and then on the 11th they were like, no, never mind, no one can go anywhere again. And I was like, oh, okay. And and then we were like no worries well you'll definitely be here by march 15th really we thought a couple weeks and now obviously not and when i touch you When I kiss you like that, I just have to admit that it's all coming back to me. It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now. There were moments of gold And there were flashes of light

There were things I'd never do again But then it always seemed right There were nights of endless blissful pleasure I was never born again And I was never born again To hear the rest of that No, no, no, no To hear the rest of that No, no, no To hear the rest of that song

Listen to Meat Loaf Did it first On Thanksgiving Day, 1999 Five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez Was found off the coast of Florida And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home,

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our new show, Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind-scenes stories, crazy details, and honestly, just having a blast talking football. Every week. We're discussing our favorite players of all times from legends to our buddies to current stars. We're finally answering the age old question.

What kind of dudes are these dudes? We're going to find out Jules new episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Cheryl Swoops. And I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as

women. And T and I have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tariqa Foster-Brasby, an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had.

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