Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - "Neato Skeeto" (w/ Meg Stalter)

Episode Date: February 3, 2021

We think we can all agree that it was time to have Meg Stalter on Cultch. And readers? This ep does not disappoint. Fresh off a, get this, bad car accident, Matt is still alive to record the podcast and ultimately that's good because Meg is the funniest and gives us all her takes on the Sex and the City reboot, meeting up with LOVERS in quarantine (and also not), and the Scorsese vs. Marvel ugh drama!!!!!!! Also, the impact of Grease, auditioning for a Six Flags revue with "Teardrops on my Guitar", dinner theater, when Meg was attacked by Lana Del Rey stans, how trolls online are literal children, how to let someone know you're not down to talk shit, and self-improvement during quarantine LOL. Also, should we start using "bunny" as a term of endearment? Will Bowen eat his toenails? And a shout out to Chicago comedy! RARRRRR!!!!!! Listen lol Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City are back. I love that. I love that. Oh my gosh. Welcome. And last season's drama was just the tip of the iceberg. You're recording us? I am disgusted.

Never in a million years after everything we've been through did I think that you would reach out to our sworn enemy. We were friends. How could you do this to me? I don't trust her. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Wednesdays at 9 on Bravo, or stream it on City TV+. I'm Julian Edelman.

I'm Rob Gronkowski. And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind-the-scenes stories, crazy details, and honestly, just having a blast talking football. Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all times, from legends to our buddies to current stars. We're finally answering the age-old

question, what kind of dudes are these dudes? We're gonna find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty, and I'm the host of On Purpose.

My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. I was a desperate, delusional dreamer. Be a delusional of today's biggest artists. I was a desperate delusional dreamer. Be a delusional dreamer.

Just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida.

And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami? Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, everybody, it's me, Matt. I just wanted to hop on here to let you know

that new episodes of Hot Dog on HBO Max are actually airing as of February 4th. So if you're listening to this after February 4th, you can watch Hot Dog, the show that I host, which is a grooming competition, a dog grooming competition, that is. Five new episodes are out. It's got me, Robin Deedy, Jess Rona, and a whole host of talented groomers right now that is available for you. And if you're listening on Wednesday, February 3rd, well, midnight is going to be the stroke of fortune for you. But yes, would love if you watched it again, February 4th, new episodes of Hot Dog on HBO Max. You'll love it. You'll enjoy it just like you'll enjoy this episode which starts actually right now look man oh i see

oh and look over there wow is that culture yes oh my goodness wow las culturistas ding dong las culturistas calling man i don't know how to say it other than to just sort of say it i have to just come out and say what happened, which is three hours ago. I was in a car accident. I'm fine. My car is totaled. It was not my fault.

I was driving down the road. I've approached the intersection and the person that was crossing the intersection in front of me had to completely run a stop sign. I had no time to stop. It was just like, it's one of those nightmare intersections that are somehow existing and they're rampant.

It's the beginning of Erin Brockovich. That asshole smashed in my fucking neck. I'm so sorry. Like a bat out of hell. Like a bat out of hell. When she says that in that calm demeanor, this is why she won the Oscar. Like a bat out of hell.

Wait, we're not talking about Julia. We're talking about you. The Julia of today was certainly me because of the way what just happened happened. Luckily, I'm fine. All I have is my airbags both blasted off. And let me tell you- I saw the photo.

You sent me the photo. Airbag culture, no one talks about. No one talks about the force. I feel like we've erased airbags from the conversation in the last, I don't know, 15 years. It's like,

I forgot the airbags existed until today. When you show me the pictures, I was like, Oh yeah, those, those, those giant things are in the car. Oh.

And what they don't tell you is after the airbag explodes in your face and on your legs, because that's where I got my little contusion and my leg was cut open by the airbag. What they don't tell you is then after it goes, the airbag is like smoke is coming from it and it smells like something that you shouldn't be smelling in a car. It smells like hospital. It smells like hospital. Unfortunately, the guy who caused the accident was hot. No, we don't have a remark on that he looked

like john legend he looked exactly like john legend he almost killed you i don't care how he looked but can you imagine if it had been john legend i would have been like fuck you john legend you hurt my friend i'm sort of speaking to you now from the perspective of someone who's just been through that i'm so glad you're okay i'm'm so glad. I'm so sorry about your car. The car is unfortunately busted. I may post a picture about it tomorrow. I just, I want to, I didn't want to freak my mother out by posting about it on Insta before I told her, which would be very 2021 of me. You are the, you are the Julia Roberts of February 1st, 2021. You are the Julia Roberts of today. I guess I'll do my best to, from this point going forward,

continue to honor that legacy and like save a bunch of people in a small town from Hexavalent Chromium. Yes. That has to be my next move, I think. It is. That's Matt Rogers' next move. But Matt, I'm so glad you're here.

Are you good? Are you okay? What do you need from me? What I need from you is just exactly what you're doing right now, because you are a real sister. And I want to say you are here for me and you were very concerned and you texted and you were, you were very concerned about my whereabouts.

Shout out to Greta Teitelman. My other real sister who came and picked me up was there in minutes. Oh my God. And I'll tell you what was keeping me going throughout the ordeal I knew that this episode was happening today and literally right before I died I did see

our guest before death and she was like teasing me she was like an angel of death that was like teasing me don't say that if you don't really mean it first of all it's not about meaning it it's about what i experienced let him let him say it only if it really happens it happens and it's my experience and you have you don't exist yet because we haven't introduced you okay the only way you exist right now is in my dream that i say

just saying i hope you're not improvising. I hope it really happens. Stop it now. I don't improv. I don't do improvise. She doesn't improv. She doesn't improvise. She doesn't do improvise.

I only say my experience. I'm like Lena Dunham. Yes. This is my life. Yes. That's what Lena says. Whenever she does a project, she says, this is my life. It's rule of culture number 22.

Lena Dunham says, this is my life. In all her projects. In all her projects. Okay, my lips are zipped. So as her- Tell us this vision, yes. I'm saying I saw our guest

sort of beckoning me or teasing me to come into heaven and I was like no I'm not gonna let her trick me she's very tricky

the guest she she can talk you into doing anything and she really can convince you that she's anyone

it's true I was thinking about the range today I was like she's anyone it's true i was thinking about the range today i was like she's played everyone from from demi lovato to to the to the girl down the street to the girl down the street down the street and you know what every time i just find it very tricky and untrustworthy it's like if like, if she's Meg, why are we seeing all these other people? And why does she know what it's like to be them so much and so good?

Yeah, you're right. The questions remain. The questions remain. Okay. Front runner. The questions remain. She is,

she's truly sensational. We love her. You love her. She doesn't have a lot of credit But she does wear a lot of lipstick What she lacks in credit She makes up for in gloss In gloss Well, she's on IG

She's the queen of IG live She's the queen of her podcast Confronting Demons We love her so much She is the queen of her podcast she's the queen of her podcast she's the queen of her own podcast she's the queen of the hiatus but but still a queen you can still reign on a hiatus during a break yes that's what balmoral is for that's what balmoral is for she's the queen of the bicons everyone welcome into your ears and the miracle worker in high school we have to hear about this

everyone welcome into your ears you guys i don't normally i don't normally come in before i'm announced but i was listening to the tricksy matt Mattel episode. And you know what? She set a bad example, stupid bitch. And you guys were like, yeah, we want to experiment. I was like, okay, well, I guess I'll come in. Oh my God. You're just pushing us forward.

Thank you. I'm so sorry you got in a car crash today. I really wouldn't have wore this like crazy hairstyle if I knew. I just feel like I would have wore something different. What would you have worn? Yeah. What would you have worn? What would you have worn? A big sun hat. Something that could

be a comforting medicinal image for me right now. Like you and a glorious sun hat. Or hair slicked back or something. I'm ready to party. You know what? I know I'm talking too much because i'm so excited but no no this reminded me of there's this guy that

i'm kind of sexting and the other day he was like hey um i just got in a car crash tell me about your day babe was like like like didn't really want to talk about it but was like oh i got in a car crash lol how i can't wait to be seeing you. Like, not that we're seeing each other, obviously, in quarantine, but. Was it hot? No, it was really making me worry that somebody would present that information like that. So, because honestly, it's like, you don't know. You can't always get tone across with text.

So he could be like, I was just in a car crash and be in a hospital. Or he could just be like, I was in a car crash and be in a hospital or he could just be like i was in a car crash and be at home sort of making dinner like you don't know what his physical whereabouts are all you know is he said lol but like he couldn't possibly be laughing about it even if it was small even if it was small what is that called should we name this thing where let's just say guys or no anyone's like anyone's like this horrible thing happened to me tell me what's going on with you it's like it's not it's like deflection meets like burying the lead or it's yeah but it's not it's not those things yeah but i but people do this all the time and i'm like we have to like name this for what it is and actually be like wait wait no no no no we have to talk

about the thing that happened to you because they want to right like they don't want us to really be like lol that's crazy i had like such a weird day like they don't really want us to ignore that right no you know what it is it's them feeling like they have to do their due diligence of letting you know what happened but they don't want to explore and that is something that sorry but seek treatment yeah yes it is back should we start ignoring like if someone says that should we ignore what they said at first yeah ignore it be like you know what if you want to move on i'm moving on that's what they're asking they're like t it's like a test almost you know i of course was like oh my god are you okay yeah yeah. Was he okay? He was okay.

Totally. Totally. Totally. As they say, fwoosh. As they say all over. As they say it everywhere in the world, fwoosh. Fwoosh. He was totally okay.

What's his deal? Can you talk about him? You know, somebody that I haven't met since quarantine. You know, we're all quarantined, of course. Of course. Because of the whole pandemic. Yes. So if you're listening to this years from now it is the pandemic if this is sort of it needs to be a time capsule for you we're totally within the clutches of the pandemic still

yes if you haven't heard of the coronavirus it's sort of a sort of like the flib way worse yeah but he's just this so i always i always have like oh i have to date somebody in the entertainment i have to date someone a comedian they're the only people that get me so this is the first person i've talked to that's a firefighter and not in comedy and i think that's so hot and he's really hot he's a firefighter yeah i think that might be the hottest job that's the hottest job you can't get hotter and we like we've faced facetimed and he's like so hot i can barely speak but then he's like i'm not i'm used to like that i don't know kind of weird and they're hot to me you know what i mean like i'm used to dating like you're hot to me because you're wacky i like this on sex. Yeah, 100%.

Yeah, but he's like actually hot. He's like someone Samantha would fuck on sex in the city. Yes. Yes, exactly. Yes. Yes. She'd be like, come on, honey. Come over and do me for my heart. And he speaks like Samantha.

Wow. He's a hot firefighter who speaks like Samantha Jones Meg was doing herself but then I went with it I was like sure yeah no that would be me but that would be so I mean I guess I'd sedate him

a firefighter who talks like Samantha absolutely I'm gonna go put out the fire and then put out myself all over town the only replacement I know we've talked

about this that there's no replacement for Samantha the only option is Meg the only option is Meg I think you don't even explain I'm Samantha. I'm exactly like the old one. Yeah, opening line.

Opening line. I think that's the only thing that makes sense, Bowen. You're right. That's the only thing that makes sense. To everyone, I think. To everyone. No one will question it. I can say I'm her cousin. My cousin's dead from whatever? Sure. I'm your new friend there you're there to pick up her dead

body and you just never that's the that's the reason why you're there and you just don't leave to pick up the body i'm always dragging her body when a family member dies someone's gotta go pick her up you understand the closest family member dies. Honey, where do I put this? Someone's got to go pick her up. You understand. The closest family member, they make them pick them up. Yes, and you were the closest cousin. By blood.

And I explained that. And you explained that the series takes place over the course of two years. And the entire two years, you are dragging the body around. Yeah, that's like the diegetic of the show is like it starts where she starts dragging the body and it's only when she has dragged the body all the way home can they end the show. Can Samantha really find her resting place?

That's how they involve Samantha. I love that. But I'm also always looking for sex too. Like I'm just like her. She's the sex of the show where can i get laid and lay this body you know and the guys are always like what's with that and you're like uh don't worry about it shush up i have a blonde wig but it's on top of my head no hair tucked in it it's becoming clearer and clearer that this is the only thing that makes

sense you guys saying that makes me think maybe i have a chance but i'm like i know that they i don't i'm not matt rogers over here being i'm not meaning it i mean it i mean it i mean it all the way i'm this is the campaign this is what you don't understand. Buzz does start here. Like buzz starts on last night. Oh yeah. We start buzz all the time. Like when we were in the final round, we were in the final round. Disney was,

we were about to sign a contract. Yeah. With Disney to be Flotsam and Jetsam. I've always wondered if that was real. I'm dead serious. We were about to sign the contract. And basically Disney at the last second decided they didn't want to do the characters at all.

No. I believe you 100% for real. I know Bowen's shaking his head no, but I'm like, yeah, that sounds like it was real. I'm shaking my head no because I'm remembering the chemistry we did with Hallie. Because he's shaking his head like,

it couldn't have been better than this. Nope. I know. Hallie loved us. Hallie was obsessed with us. Everyone was so obsessed. They were all running over, even assistants being like, we are obsessed with you. Everyone

was telling us, we are so obsessed with you. Everyone is obsessed with you here. No one is talking about anything else because of the obsession that is with, it's a big problem. And we were like, okay, okay, give us the contract and then were you in the costumes already absolutely we have bowen knows this um bowen

basically called ahead and really graphic because bowen's the more graphic i'm the graphic person so he designed the costumes and what was your take on flotsam and jetsam you had a very strong aesthetic take my take on flotsam and jetsam was like very like iris van herpen like a lot of like flowy lines but then but then but then you can see a clear anus there's a clear anus on both of them and that's because remember the movie cats when they were like where's the butthole where's the butthole so for this movie they were like we're real we're not gonna have anyone asking the question where's the butthole it's gonna be very clear you do your own costumes for it yeah well that's how all movies are that's how all movies are i have really for real thought about being like should i just ask my manager if she can get me an audition for

any part in sex in the city maybe get me in the writer's room i want to be in the writer's room and right just like i don't know girl you need to be the star you're in it you're in it you're in it in a huge way i really feel like i need to audition for something a barista a bartender no you're samantha jones i don't know what you're understanding to add the sex to it i want to be the new sex pop character oh god she's bringing even more sex than ever before of course bisexual on the show besides that one episode of course so right it's but it's like it's like you as the bisexual of the show the audience at home will just be

hooked because they don't know who's gonna get fucked next you know could be anyone I really do think it's a good idea I know we're joking but I'm like I'm not joking I'm not joking bitch I think I can make this show I think people could would watch it wait men we're not fucking joking and bone and I are upset I mean

I just don't think they're gonna let me drag her dead body around but I do think that there's well that part can get edited that part can get rewritten can I say something earlier Matt was like illustrating the scenario where like you know the Disney execs ran out of their rooms and were like we're obsessed with you we're obsessed with you that is like that's like everyone's dream right to be like to walk into a meeting like that

and have them run out to you and be like we're obsessed with you I don't think that's ever going to happen in my life but I feel like Meg I feel like Meg once generals start like Meg, once generals start happening, once meetings in general, once general season begins again, yes.

In the great after, when we can finally start doing generals again. Because it's the thing we miss the most. But Meg is going to be able, Meg's going to walk into, Meg's going to walk into these meetings and they're going to run out before she even gets to the damn reception.

And they say, we're obsessed with you. Can I tell you the truth? They do. I'm going to be honest with you. Generals have happened and let me tell you this. I'm going to be honest with you because we should be confident. Confident honesty we need.

They're extremely excited when it starts and then the meeting goes on and I go, yes, so I live in la and i used to live in new york same thing every time every meeting and i think they're expecting a wacky girl and i'm smiling and laughing but i i'm not going in there like hello guys what the hell's happening today you know what i mean you're not in there like i'm just saying boring answers yeah you're just being a human being.

So I don't think they don't like me, but it's like they're so excited in the beginning. You know what I mean? But they're like, why wasn't she spouting more? That girl, she should have come in here and been spouting all over the place. But it's terrible to me that like they, like that would be the normal thing to them

for any one of us to go in there and be like a goofball. And it's like, that's not how anyone talks to each other. Yeah, but you know what I love about those meetings? They really are just girl talk. Okay. It's girl talk. Let's get down to it. It's girl talk.

Okay. So if you could excel at girl talk you're gonna be scorn in journals every time they ask me what i'm watching i go sex in the city i'm still watching sex in the city i'm not kidding you i like i'm no i know it doesn't hold up i know it's bad but it's so comforting but the thing is it's most of it is just like a great old show you're like yes there are parts of it that are like 100% like products of the 90s, but the fact of the matter is like that show, people still

talk about the content. Like people still talk about the characters. It is like lasting and I'm not surprised people want to keep doing it, but I am like- But good luck without Samantha. But good luck without Samantha. Truly. We were talking about this last week, Matt we talking about this last week, Matt?

You and I? Oh, we're going to be talking about it for decades. We talked about it last week. We're talking about it this week. This is going to be the cultural conversation going forward. I'll never stop talking about the show either. No! No. But, I mean, we are all

obsessed with the show. I mean, like, it was, like, the whole thing that, like, got me to do, like, shows. This mean, like, it was like the whole thing that like got me to do like shows. This sounds so obnoxious, but it was the thing that got me to do shows in like Brooklyn, New York and like Littlefield where it was like me and Sam Taggart, like doing a Sex and the City show. I'm like, which sounds so stupid, but it's like, it's so, it's like everyone knows the language around Sex and the city and everyone knows that it like doesn't hold up anymore i don't know there's something special about it even even the second

movie which was awful i've seen 5 000 times and i love it special yeah um when when kristen davis goes i think you're playing with fire i think you're playing fire. Think of, can we just talk about what a wacko Charlotte is? Charlotte is a serial killer. And they're so mean to her. They're cruel. They hate her. They shit on her. And she's like,

these are my best friends. And she's like, when she screams, no, no, no. I cry every time. Oh,

I cry every time. Oh, I'm crying right now. She's crying. Meg is crying right now. She's crying. Meg is crying so hard. I've never seen anything like this. It's like she's watching the movie Big Fish. She's crying so hard.

But what's crazy about the passion with which she screams at is the fact that the entire series long there, so she hates her. I know. They're so mean to her. I was literally just the other day talking about this. There's a scene where

Carrie starts dating the old artist. The Russian? The Russian guy. And they're in this perfume store and Charlotte's trying so hard to do jokes and they literally could not care less. They're acting like she works there.

She's like, are you going to get a perfume for your lover? And she's like, are you gonna get a perfume for your lover? She's like, no, I'm not. She's like, I don't want to date him. And then Samantha's like, did you not hear her? She doesn't want to date him.

And she's like, Charlotte's like sitting there. And we haven't even gotten to Miranda yet, who is an evil person. Oh no, don't shit on Miranda. Not here. Bow do you i think you probably identify as a miranda of course yeah absolutely i think most most i'm i was gonna say most normal i'm not normal i feel like miranda out of the four of them is like I think she is like the surrogate for the audience she's the only way in

you know I think that that is very much Carrie because I think that Miranda represents but she's not but she's actually not I think she has definitely like personality traits that set her further away from what our usual surrogate is like she's definitely

more self involved she's definitely more self-involved she's definitely like makes choices that we are like what yes carrie yeah um but i think miranda is more heightened in the fact that like she is so rational and fact-driven and by the book and strict with herself and about rules that she is like i always think like this isn't perfect but carrie's id super ego and ego are represented in those three characters yeah like they're different parts of her that she can choose to instinctually be there are different girls that she could be and the show is about her navigating all those types of women that that influence her that's what i think yeah so i think that he's got the chills. Finding who she is. That's what I think.

Yeah. So I think that Miranda does irrational things like how mean she is to Steve. Oh. You know what I mean? I don't think Miranda's a normal character for us to identify with unless you are deeply a Miranda.

Isn't there a thing where it's like the four of them each represent like one like of the, and this is a word that like is used of the seasons one of the seasons but it's like that they're like one of

like the four crones in storytelling or something or like not crones or something but it's like there's like a term for it but like that makes sense yeah but each of them like but like yes it's like, there's like a term for it. Well, that makes sense. Yeah. But each of them like, but like, yes, Carrie is the center. And then like Miranda is about career. Charlotte's about family.

And then Samantha's about sex. This is all well-trod. Everyone knows this. But I guess we have to ask Meg, who do you identify as? We must know. Well, a lot of my girlfriends will say like, we're all mirandas right but i'm like i don't know i think there's i think i'm i used to when i was younger i mean i watched this show when i was like a kid like yeah and i think i thought i was like charlotte i'm like well i

want to be a mom and stuff and obviously i'm not i'm so far from charlotte even though I do want kids. I go into it, I start crying. But, uh... I do want kids. Yesterday. I'm never gonna get... No, I will have kids. I start crying. I'm being so serious. No, that's great.

No, I do think I want kids. Here's a... This is just a side note. I really want kids one day, but I don't know if I want to be pregnant. That's really scary to me. That's fine.

Definitely want to adopt well as you get older I feel like the more and more common it becomes because women are being honest about how pregnancy is like it's scary like yeah when I hear about how difficult some pregnancies are I'm like that must be like a harrowing thing to be a woman who

like is pregnant has had babies or wants to have a baby to know that like you're going to have to like really sacrifice physically and a lot of your comfort for a long time and ultimately like you know it's a lot i understand i get it why there's a depression afterwards a lot of the time because that's it's so crazy and i feel like when we were young it was just like she's pregnant like let her sit like she might have to eat a pickle or two. Like I'll rub her feet.

And now. My babies are here and they're healthy too. Like that's not how it is. Yes. I passed out when my sister gave birth. Passed out. Oh my God. You were in the room.

And for real got a concussion. Damn. I'm not kidding. You literally couldn't stay awake the next day and nobody believed me that like my mom was like i caught your head before it fell i was like there's no way you did i'm like truly passed out because i was holding one of her legs up oh my god why were you involved she wanted me in the room so i was like well okay i mean it's my first nephew you know i don't we yeah yeah i'm like excited i've never seen anyone give birth this is this is gross no no please please i was driving from chicago to ohio to watch her give birth yeah and i didn't really eat that much that day. So there's that. I was already a little shaky.

Blood sugar low. I'm holding her leg up. Blood sugar low. I'm literally stuttering at the thought of this again. It was so traumatizing. But then, of course, my favorite person was born. But yeah, I'm shaky. I haven't really eaten.

Holding her leg up. The nurse is holding her other leg. And I feel dizzy. And I look at my mom, who's all the way across the room. And I say, I think I'm about to pass out and she goes no your sister needs you oh no and she swear she didn't and I'm like yes you did

the second she said that my body it's incredible how bodies will work like that well my body knew oh she's not going to help me passed out onto the floor right when she said that yeah cause honestly your brain probably told your body you need to rest now yes literally yeah oh my god that is crazy and so were you physically out for when the moment of birth happened did you come back to it's so long

when people give birth oh my god you don't realize oh you don't realize no it's hours of holding her leg up and i was just sitting in a rocking chair the rest of the night. Started taking in the sights from, from. Yes. So if, if I had seen that, I feel like that would, that would make me anxious about having. It's the smells. Did I get to that? That's what.

No, no. It's talk about the smells. I'm sorry. That's the gross part is the smell of the blood. Like the blood is like, this is the most dangerous thing someone could do is give birth it is so wild you are leaking fluid yeah like out of like gushing blood oh my god and i remember when my mom she she told explained to me that sometimes women poop when they give birth and i remember being like a little i remember being like a little faggot being

like ew that's disgusting Why are they pooping? That's fucking gross. They should not poop. They should not do that. Ew, disgusting is poop. And then you actually see it and it's like, fucking, the poop is the least of our worries. I know. Truly, like what? Can't smell poop. It is

blood. It is like a bloodbath. You are smelling that medley blood smell. Medley blood smell. Medley blood smell. And you're saying that it overpowers the poop smell? I don't even know if there was any poop involved. Yeah, forget it. She was isolated to just one experience.

Yeah, I don't think she did that though. But again, I bet you wouldn't even know. You wouldn't. You wouldn't. mean but anyway okay so then you're watching this happen and then the baby is born and the actual act of the baby coming out of of the vagina is the craziest thing ever because i have seen this happen like in health class that baby shoots out sometimes yeah yeah i can't really remember this fly out really yep in some videos you can look up videos of births they go how did they catch them how did they the woman is there

she's in the pose she's in the crouch pose at the very foot of the bed it's a midwife not always a woman wow thank you and thank you my sister lady literally literally sister life that you literally catch me and hold me accountable hashtag after hashtag after so i we're talking about this i don't want to have kids either i mean i i wasn't like in that space to begin with but now i'm like yeah i don't think i would want i would i don't want i wouldn't want to put someone else through that either i wouldn't want to like hire someone i don't think if i was bowen yang i would i would just want to know the rest of my fabulous life no seriously because i think that your life is going to be so fabulous that i think that you should just be living that fabulous life and i don't think you should just be living that fabulous life

and I don't think you should have a kid to have to give any attention to or care to because I think you need to live your fucking geesh for the rest of your days it changes, I'm acting like you've never heard of kids before it changes everything

you can't live for just yourself, you live for someone else at that point, you know how many women I've had look me in the eyes and say, when you give birth, you start living for someone else. That's the sacrifice you make. Really now? Some women on Long Island have said that to me. You stop living for yourself. I'm like, oh God, this is dark.

The Real Housewives of New York City are back for another bite of the Big Apple. Look who it is. Joined by elite new friends. Rebecca Minkoff. Have you ever heard of her? But things could change in a New York Minute. She had this wild night and ended up getting pregnant by some other guy. What?

You told her? Not today, Satan. Not today. The Real Housewives of New York City. All new Tuesdays at 9 on Bravo or stream it on City TV+. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. Guess what, folks?

We're teammates again. And we're going to welcome you guys all to Dudes on Dudes. I'm a dude, you're a dude, and Dudes on Dudes is our brand new show. We're going to highlight players, peers, guys that we played against, legends from the past, and we're just going to sit here and talk about them. And we'll get into the types of dudes. What kind of types of dudes are there, Grunks? We got studs, wizards.

We got freaks. Or dudes, dude. We got dogs. Dogs. We'll break down their games we'll share some insider stories and determine what kind of dude each of these dudes are is randy moss a stud or a freak is tom brady a dog or dudes dude we're gonna find out jules new episodes drop every thursday during the nfl season listen to dudesudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This week, Charlamagne Tha God sits down with Vice President Kamala Harris for a conversation you don't want to miss. Listen, I feel very strongly I need to earn every vote, which is why I'm here having this candid conversation with you and your listeners. They tackle the big questions, politics, policy, and what's next for the country. I am running to be president for everybody, but I

am clear-eyed about the history and the disparities that exist for specific communities, and I'm not going to shy away from that. Don't miss this in-depth interview with Charlemagne Tha God and Vice President Kamala Harris, only on The Breakfast Club. Catch the full interview now on the Black Effect Podcast Network,

iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, everybody. It's Matt Rogers. Back when I was a server, I was one bad day away from a huge personal crisis. Thankfully, Giving Kitchen is here to serve those that serve us. Giving Kitchen is a nonprofit helping any food service worker who gets hurt, gets sick, loses a family member or their housing. That's giving relief. So when you or someone you know is in crisis, tell them to ask for help from Giving Kitchen by visiting givingkitchen.org slash help. That's givingkitchen.org slash h-e-L-P. Together, we are Giving Kitchen.

We help food service workers. I nannied for a long time, for years, full-time nanny. And I got so close to them. But I'm like, I would like to have kids when I can afford a really nice nanny who can help. Not to raise them fully, but you need help. And help because it's so much really not to raise them fully but like you need help and God

I just it's so much if I'm going to be married to a firefighter he's going to be gone during the day and night some nights

oh nights totally totally oh yeah he works nights too the firefighters they do both they do both he's working all the time

and or it's either that or what I'm going to marry someone really like famous actor. He's going to be on shoots. No. Yeah. What about when you're on a shoot?

Right. That's the thing is I'm not. I love this so much. I love working so much. I'm not going to be a stay at home mom, which is what I thought I would when I i was little i don't know i was like actress or stay-at-home mom you know right well that's the whole that's another whole part of it they don't tell you about is just how hard it is to be a mother or a parent at all oh my god i could cry i see it's all my parents i've talked to man about this my parents have skipped all the way to the end

where they're like you should find a partner so you can raise a child but they've never asked me about anyone I've dated and I like yelled at them one time like and over the summer I was like it really fucking sucks and it's hurtful that you like are like weirdly like ashamed of like

butt sex for me but you're like but when are you gonna have a kid it's like it like ashamed of like butt sex for me but you're like but when are you gonna have a kid it's like it's still about like reproduction in a way and it's like well sorry like my what i do doesn't do that i don't know what i do doesn't do doesn't do that my mom's kind of like she knows that i'm bi and she'll say now like i know she knows that i'm gonna like eventually be with someone but i just love being single and have been for so long that now she knows i love it so much that she's like don't you want to just get a kid yourself like she's not doesn't even care about the partner

part she's like once you like adopt right now wouldn't that how wild of a move if I did that right now? My guess would be that it's so much more about grandchildren than we realize. It's about, like, because I wanted to ask you, Bowen, like, when they say, like, time for you to get a partner and, like, have a kid and settle down. Are they saying partner, like, with the assumption that this could be male or female? Or are they saying like a girlfriend at this point they have they're like he's gonna be with a guy which is a step forward but then but then it is like it only is complete it's and then it's that classic thing this is like not unique to me but it's like that classic thing of like it's not a it's not a real unit until there's a kid involved and i'm like i don't i'm like i don't think i i don't think i want that um but then my mom was like well you should maybe think about like hushed

tones being like you should maybe think about storing your sperm just so it's like i don't like mom like we don't have to go get to that level yet it's a real concern for that generation sometimes like i haven't heard that from my parents yet but i think in in a world where i was ready for that it would it would probably be like a good thing yeah meg have you noticed that your mom has had this conversation with you since your nephew was born or has it been that way the whole time i think it's chilled out a little bit, but she'll still be like, why didn't you just move?

Sometimes she'll be like, why don't you move in with me and we'll have a kid? Like, obviously not as a couple, that's my mom, but being like, I think for her,

she really does love kids. Not let things grow. I don't get it. Like, do they want to just play with kids? Go! Yeah, I think they just want to play with kids yeah they want to play with kids someone else's kids like yeah it's weird because i love kids and always thought i would have like four or five but now that i'm older i'm like i would be really happy as an older woman with like two kids but

also like if it doesn't happen, I still feel like I've, I don't know, have enough love. I don't know. Like, I feel like I'm still fine. I've went after, I'm going after everything I want,

you know? Yeah. Well, you know what that makes you? Miranda. I was going to say, we didn't talk about it. I think I'm a Miranda with a little bit of,

with like some Samantha too. Oh yeah. Absolutely. I was going to say, I was going to peg you for a Samantha. I was going to peg you for a Samantha this whole time. I think there's a, well,

you know what? To be honest, like Samantha does go after what she wants, right? And she doesn't let anyone be in the way. So maybe I'm Samantha with a little bit of Miranda. And of course, a late night after a breakup,

I'm a Carrie. Oh yes. Everyone has Carrie moments where they do something you know you know what i'm realizing right now like we said that miranda was the career one it's like samantha's also a career yeah that's what i'm thinking she goes after which one fucks yeah she does she fucks so what's the thing the difference of if you're deciding if you're a miranda there's something about like a taking seriously of life like samantha is just like a more baka she's more like i don't know what's it's about a sign it's about assigning value to one thing over the other miranda assigns value to her work. She's the one who gets her butt eaten, right?

And she's like, I don't like that. Yeah. So she fucks, but she's like, I have a lot of weird hangups around fucking. Where Samantha has no hangups around fucking and doesn't really give a shit about her. It's not that she doesn't give a shit about her job, but she's secure. She's not like living day to day motivated by her career. That's where my Miranda comes in where I'm like constantly every day. You know what I mean?

But there's part of me, not the annoying, this isn't the annoying part of Charlotte, but like I am a romantic, like even with like hookups or people I really romanticize things I really like even though I haven't I've been single for so long I am like a romantic at heart not realistic when it you know I I just came out of like um a long distance uh like sort of thing where we never met but during quarantine talk for months and I was so about it but like they were realistic and they were like, you know, even though I think they could have went about it differently, I act like they're listening, but like they were realistic being like, we don't live by each other. It's a pandemic. Like, let's try to talk to people that live by us. But I'm like, Oh, I'm so into you. Like I

could do this, whatever. But part of me is, you know what I mean? Like it's romantic of me to think that way. Yeah. What yeah what what is what is getting in the way of you and firefighter meeting up where does like what's what's happening there okay well so well this is really new with him but he just seems a little bit different than the people I've talked to which is nice he's kind of like I'm not gonna waste your time like into like sort of more um I don't know just seems like he knows what he wants I think the thing of meeting up is just it being a pandemic and what

is everyone doing? Are people getting tested? Are they meeting once? I've only online dated during quarantine. I really haven't. It's kind of scary to me. Is he in LA? He is in LA. He does want to get tested and meet.

But yeah, I'm a little nervous. I want to, but I'm also like really, really like COVID safe. Of course. In a good way. A good freak. No, no, no. Yeah. Good freak. I think that for me, what I do when I'm going to see other people is I just make sure that I haven't like left that pod for two weeks and I haven't literally nothing can happen at that point so if I feel like if he was into it you could just be like quarantine yeah put the timer on the clock two weeks starting from now we are we've talked about that we've talked about him being like I'll test like whatever you need me to do to be comfortable and because the thing is then you have to do it. You have to put it on the books because then you know,

it's, it's, you're being nervous for other reasons that you actually don't want to do it. Kind of talked about like in another week or so, perfect. But, um,

only cause I've like fully quarantine. And the other thing was I told him like, what's weird about dating right now is that I've had to say like, Oh, I know I'm not asking you to be exclusive but if you're hooking up with people like i don't i'm so safe about it that i don't yeah yeah and he's like no i'm not meeting anybody else and like i wouldn't and i'm not meeting anybody

but i kind of forgot this was on this was recording we weren't just hanging out but that's how we got to the truth yeah the real truth and he is saying my body only belongs to one woman i just think if you are casual dating right now you have to really plan it out like you can't just you absolutely it's hard to see one person you can't be hooking up with different people you can talk to whoever you want but to meet up you can't right now no you can't you can't just, you absolutely, it's hard not to see one person. You can't be hooking up with different people. You can talk to whoever you want, but to meet up, you can't right now. No, you can't. You can't. You can't.

Yeah. Meg, okay. Were you about to say something about Miranda that you're like Miranda in the, in the ambition sense in terms of career stuff? I think that, I think that's it. It's like, I think I have the attitude of like, do what you really want to. No rules, Samantha, Miranda with the work and then Charlotte romance the like a little bit of

the romantic sort of you know like it'll work out it just will it's the delusion which has gotten me this far in comedy you know what I mean you have to kind of be delusional you have to believe it I was just going to remark on how I think and Matt I think you agree with me

and it's not that I have the full lay of the land, especially anymore, but I'm just like, I think Meg is like the hardest working person, just period right now. I mean, well, the thing is, the thing is it's- You are what?

No. It's true. You can say it, bitch, because it's not only that. You've been consistently doing it. Yeah, but it's one thing to have consistent output and it's a completely other thing for it to be consistent output that is always so fucking always hits you really are just like you are you need to laugh that is one of the most famous

religious songs jesus said you need to laugh you know someone commented on a video today so i really needed that because someone commented on a video and goes, and this didn't hurt because it was so crazy. But the comment goes, this video is not as good as your old stuff. She goes, you need to go back and watch your old stuff

and watch your timing. She, so she was suggesting that you go off and watch tapes of yourself. Yes, because she was like, this requires some editing. It was basically one of the things where it was a video.

You know, you have, okay, you have the videos where you cut it a bunch. And there's all these funny lines. Then you have the longer video where it's one take. Which that's supposed to be like, it's a total different feel. That's the point. It's a style. Yeah, it's a style. Was this the girl giving a toast at the birthday?

Yes. Then you can't cut around that. And I thought it was- You can't cut around that. I guffawed multiple times throughout the fucking thing. What's she talking about? It was phenomenal. And she's obviously very ill. I want to ask you, though, what do you say to your critics?

Oh. What do you say to them? What I say is, you know what? It's okay. I'm not everyone's cup of tea. And I would rather be, like, have people real,

myself mean something to a smaller group than everyone. Yeah. Yeah. And so that's what you would tell them. That's great. Bowen, what do you say to your critics?

I love this question. I say to your critics? I love this question. I say to my critics, I had the thought today where I was like, because I'm getting it from these like, I'm just going to say it, like pro-CCP people who are like, the equivalent of like Hoteps and Black Twitter, but they're Asians and they're like,

they're just truly wormed in the brain and they say shit to me like they're they're classic thing to me i'm sorry i'm like getting a little real here is like they're like oh bowen's like long duck dong 2021 like he's like he's like he's like doing like all these characters and i'm just like and i literally said out loud today because like i i saw one of these and I was just like, you ugly motherfucker. Yeah, truly. Never talk to me ever. Never talk about me.

Never think about me. Live your pathetic lives. That makes me so mad. It's just like I get a little like angry and hateful. And then I used to feel guilty about the anger. But then like lately therapy has been all about like accessing it or whatever we don't even talk about the reason the reason why i'm i'm i completely understand is because they're gaslighting you because you're you don't yet that's not even close to the reality of the situation

they're just jealous literally that's all that i was gonna say it comes from jealousy yeah wild jealousy i don't even think it's jealousy, but I think it's them believing something about the way the world works. Yeah. Short answer is yeah, it's terrible. Matt, what do you say to your critics?

I always say the same thing to them, which is I just kiss them. I always give kisses to my critics. Yeah, I always just blow them a kiss and I actually did have a lot of haters this week because I unfortunately did stir the pot with a tweet wait what was it?

I tweeted if you think WandaVision is boring but watched The Irishman to the end I don't think so honey and i forgot i forgot that marvel and scorsese had that whole thing oh wait what's their thing oh that marv that scorsese says that all hollywood is marvel now well no he says that marvel movies are not art like he's like those are not films they films. They're like theme park entertainment.

Like, that's what he says. And so he picked a fight with the Marvel community and the Marvel community was like, fuck this guy. And it just was very that. I didn't mean it

in an anti-Scorsese way. What I meant was like, people will watch any, people will literally watch 15 Oscar movies in a row about like, we're lesbian cave diggers who fall in love and it's the 1800s and we're both a little sick uh it's very cold too it's very cold like this is a movie about a whale researcher who finds out he's losing his

mind and he needs to still research the whales and these movies will all be 19 hours long and people will be like, did you see the Manchurian bitch or whatever? And like, people will be like, yes, and did you see

Mank on Netflix? Of course. And they'll absorb all these Oscar movies. Same people will be like, I turned WandaVision off in the second episode. I thought it was boring.

I was like, are you kidding me? Like, what do you mean? And so, I tweeted that just using the Irishman as a substitute thought it was boring i was like are you kidding me like this like what do you mean and so i tweeted that just using the irishman as a substitute for an australian film twitter people came after you and so all the cinephiles of course had a great sense of humor about this one and were like wow they kept repeating this which makes me feel like they're bots they were like wow scorsese lives in

marvel's fans heads rent free scorsese living in your head rent free whoa marty living up absolutely rent free and this guy's head this goof i was like what is with you guys and i did start in with one of them and it was just the most frustrating exchange and i ended up just deleting the tweet even though it was a successful delete. I just deleted it and I was like I don't need this. Stand by it. When I get anxious the tweet's gotta go. It was becoming a thing of like

it was becoming a little bit of a thing of like fuck this fag with no taste. And I was just like I don't need this because I know that's not how I meant it. I know that's not how I meant it. See this is really telling like we meant it. See, this is really telling like this. We are all three distinctly different people because Meg's answer is very graceful. Like I'm not everyone's cup of tea.

Matt's answer is I don't give a shit. Kisses to my critics. Mine is fuck you. You are disgusting, vile people, but I stand by it. I did leave up a video recently. I got attacked for days by oh my god yes

like oh my god you made the biggest mistake ever you mess with the lana stand they are so i will never again i will never do another parody and people are like just you know cole uh keep doing the videos like f but i'm like no because i'm it was too stressful i left the video out though because i was like i didn't mean it meanly and i obviously wasn't making fun of her mental health i love i love her stuff yeah clearly people kept sending me the video i'm talking 50 people sent it to me like i mean but these children were so mean online they're kids and that's the thing is they are children. I left it up though.

Cause I was like, you're not going to make me delete a video that a lot of people ask for that. Like I didn't mean it meanly. I'm not, if I delete it now, they're just gonna be like, look at this bitch who deleted it. Like I couldn't win with them. Can you imagine if an actual kid came up to you and said some of the shit that they say? The meanest stuff. I just block, block,

block. Like, wow, I really hope you kill yourself. It's like an eight-year-old. It's an eight-year-old. Literally. Literally just the meanest stuff they could think of. If a kid said that to me in person, I would laugh and laugh and laugh. Exactly.

So you just have to imagine that that's them. Every single one of them had her picture of their avatar oh the avatars are insane the avatars are like a little picture of a caterpillar like with a big dick and it's just like what like it's it's it's it kind of adds to the scariness of it because it does feel like a little bit like who are you what are you yeah when there's so many too you're, where did they all come from? Like how- Right.

Hordes. It's like so scary. And the Stan culture with her is just so beyond, like it's too much. I'll never again. I think- Never. Including now when we've talked about it at length.

No, I mean, we're just examining it for what it is because I think a lot of people- Please leave us alone. A lot of people in our a lot of people in our circle are figuring out like oh if you talk about any musician at all you can't do it or if you stand one they will be with you forever like do you know who calls me king in my dm box every day brazilian katie perry fans are obsessed because Katy I guess is still massive

in Brazil and I am like their prince they are just like you have to come to Brazil what is it do they

do they think the Lana fans did they think that she was gonna see that and be like yeah be mean to this bitch tell her to kill herself

like I love my little babies. Like, she would not say that to them. Or like, what is it? They feel like they know her. They were defending her like she was their sister. Yeah. Well, it's this thing that like we've talked about

where it's like people are so attached to musicians specifically over like filmmakers and like comedians, obviously, or sometimes. But it's like, because like, it's this thing where like music is this thing that we all emotionally process stuff through and we like are so like the music we love is the music we love so if you if you come for a musician I like you're coming for me and I think I think that's how they rationalize it yeah but honestly music is so personal because it happens with your listening experiences within you. So some people develop an attachment to that that feels personal.

Yes. And sometimes I do find that if I'm ever hurt that someone makes a comment about my taste, which happens all the time. But like, if people say like, I really don't like this music you like, it does hurt a little bit more than like, than like, we both liked a different movie. Like it feels personal. Like sometimes like the way some people I know go about sharing their feelings about certain things,

like feels like they're trying to get you a little bit with the way that they're saying it. You know what I mean? Yeah. And if they have the, her picture as their profile profile it's part of their personality a little yes like it's like no we're the lana girls yeah wait did you get i'm lana did you get did you get um any guff from from demi fans after your demi video none that's probably a worst sign for demi it's the wrong people found it though because i think early on lana del rey found fans found the video and shared it so all of their like the people so demi just they silent totally nowhere to be found isn't it funny though how like there are

some people in the stand communities for each musician who are like who have the followings and are the authorities on lana del rey let's say like there's there's there's like two lana del rey accounts that have like tens of thousands of followers and then the rest of them are like little fan accounts that have like 20 there's like there's like a few respected names in lana del rey yes they're one of the sources crazy it's also crazy. It also reminds me of the Ana de Armas updates Twitter. Do you guys follow Ana de Armas updates? No. Wait, I don't think so. It's so funny.

It's like Ana de Armas has deactivated her Twitter. It all started because Ana de Armas unfollowed the Ana de Armas updates Twitter. And it was just like the Ana de Armas updates Twitter being like, Ana de Armas has unfollowed Ana de Armas updates. And just like all these Ana de Armas fans that were like up in arms. And so now that she's unfollowed, they kind of troll her. Oh my God. And like all this shit with Ben Affleck.

They were spotted walking arm in arm, barely being able to hold their coffees while they got to their house. And it's just like, it like updates on her while she's in quarantine and it's just like it like updates on her and this while she's in quarantine and it's insane but yeah no that's probably my favorite account wait do you know what that reminds me of there is a comedian whose fans turned against me and i love her um because we did a video together and they didn't know it was a joke and this was another thing where it's like these are kids that love her so do you guys remember miranda sings calling i love her she's so sweet and we did a video where

it's like it was it was like me her and benny drama like doing like influencer day and i was really annoying to them it was like a whole setup but it was kind of real and all her fans were like who is this girl being me we love colleen this crazy girl is being weird to her and making her uncomfortable you can tell colleen doesn't want to be in the video oh it was the same thing like she has these mega fans who are like much younger and they are it's totally totally like a start what is it a fandom it's like yeah there's bigger people in it that like you know everyone follows them and then like now some of them do follow me because then they realize it was a joke

so like i have some of her fans and they're yeah really it's really wild it's dark and it is it is an age thing no one over the age of 12 i want to say like would have that impassioned response yeah i don't i don't know. It's just, it fills me with dread. And, but it helps to think about it like that, that they're kids.

Like, it does help calm myself down to know that they're kids. Also, I can't stop laughing at the fact that like, when you made that mean video about Demi Lovato, or you made, not the mean video,

when you made that video about Demi Lovato, did anyone come for you? No. No, not no one. I made a video setting. not the meme video when you made that meme video of Demi Lovato did anyone come for you? no not a single negative comment I made a video saying I wanted to set Bebe Rexha on fire

and no one said anything like silent totally I'm like where's your fans where are they they're not looking at my stuff I guess

because it was just yeah I don't know why the Demi people maybe because Demi was getting it from all sides that week.

Maybe that's it. The Lana Del Rey fans were like, she made that video defending herself and she was not doing well. But then, I don't know, there's something still scary about the way they acted. I just didn't mean the video meanly. I would never make fun of someone in a mean way.

No, you are. Meg is truly pure of heart in that way. Thank you. It's true. In that way. The Real Housewives of New York City are back for another bite of the Big Apple. Look who it is.

Joined by elite new friends. Rebecca Minkoff. Have you ever heard of her? But things could change in a New York Minute. She had this wild night and ended up getting pregnant by some other guy. What? You've told her? Not today, Satan.

Not today. The Real Housewives of New York City. All new Tuesdays at 9 on Bravo or stream it on City TV+. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. Guess what, folks? We're streaming on City TV+. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. Guess what, folks? We're teammates again. And we're going to welcome you guys all to Dudes on Dudes. I'm a dude, you're a dude, and Dudes on Dudes is our brand new show.

We're going to highlight players, peers, guys that we played against, legends from the past, and we're just going to sit here and talk about them. And we'll get into the types of dudes. What kind of types of dudes are there, Gronk? We got studs, wizards. We got freaks. Or dudes dude. We got dogs.

Dogs. We'll break down their games. We'll share some insider stories and determine what kind of dude each of these dudes are. Is Randy Moss a stud or a freak? Is Tom Brady a dog or a dudes's dude we're gonna find out Jules new episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season listen to dudes on dudes on the iHeart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts this week Charlamagne the God sits down

with Vice President Kamala Harris for a conversation you don't want to miss. The things that we want and are prepared to fight for won't happen if we're not active and if we don't participate. They tackle the big questions, politics, policy, and what's next for the country. Doesn't the Biden administration have to take some blame for the border, though? Charlemagne, first thing we dropped was a bill to fix the broken immigration system, which, by the way, Trump did not fix when he was president. Don't miss this in-depth interview with Charlemagne Tha God and Vice President Kamala Harris, only on The Breakfast Club.

Catch the full interview now on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, everybody. It's Matt Rogers. Back when I was a server, I was one bad day away from a huge personal crisis. Thankfully, Giving Kitchen is here to serve those that serve us. Giving Kitchen is a nonprofit helping any food service worker who gets hurt, gets sick, loses a family member or their housing. That's giving relief.

So when you or someone you know is in crisis, tell them to ask for help from Giving kitchen by visiting givingkitchen.org slash help that's givingkitchen.org slash h-e-l-p together we are giving kitchen we help food service workers should we ask the question we need to we desperately need to ask the question? We need to. We desperately need to ask the question. It's really the touchstone of our podcast. You know, this question, which is, what was the culture that made you say, culture was for you, Meg Stalter? Okay.

So I have two things that kind of tie together. So the first thing that I had that was absolutely, was the movie Grease. Yes. It is Grease. And when we saw it at the movie theater, I thought it was a new movie. Like it was just like a re-showing of it

when I was little. And so that was really big for me. We would like reenact it. And I just have always loved a show. Like I love like, oh, you're going to a show. And so dinner theater in like Gatlinburg, Tennessee was huge for me because

we'd go every summer oh my god really bad shows tennessee was before ohio no no like we lived in ohio but we would um go on to go to like of course dollywood and like all the little like country dinner theater shows like there's something called the comedy barn obsessed just wanted to be on stage was just watching being like oh like shitty shows are still good you know what i mean like yeah when it's live theater it's great even if it's bad it doesn't have to have a storyline anything costumes yeah wait did you grow up going to dollywood every summer we would go to everything there dollywood um the dixie stampede which i i know is has bad connotations, but you drink a slushie out of a boot.

And just airbrushed shirts, tons of theater around. Just really crappy, like 20-minute shows. But I was obsessed. Dollywood had tons of stuff in there. That's like that. Yeah. Dollywood is a legit amusement park. They have some great roller coasters, too.

Amazing amusement park. I always great roller coasters too amazing amusement park I always wanted to watch the shows like I loved roller coasters but if there was a show going on but it's about the performance

yes I love these shows at like Six Flags I actually auditioned for one when I was in high school with me and my gay boyfriend like made

our friend's mom drive us and I sang Taylor Swift really bad so many people auditioned for those. They do. I think it was one of her slow songs. I couldn't even show any of my range.

White horse. It was like, you know, what's the teardrops? Teardrops on my guitar. And I think I started with the opening of it. Like, I didn't even start. Yeah, I think it was true like 10 seconds true wow

I gave a lot really fast I'm sorry I feel like it ties in you know the musical aspect of it the show 100% this makes deep sense I have to say No, no, it all ties in. The show, themanship of it. No, 100%. It all makes sense. This makes deep sense. I have to say,

Grease is one of those things. Bowen, did you grow up with a cultural understanding of Grease? Or did Grease come later? Because with Jaws, I don't know anymore. No, no, no. Right.

My sister rented Grease in the library one day, and I know exactly what Meg's talking about because I saw it, and I was like, this is so exciting and fresh it felt like a movie that had just come out

yeah it's truly it's one of those movies that you can put on and like for some reason I don't know why but I do know so much of the dialogue like it just stays with you so who are you in Grease? who did you want to be?

I still just like can't it at the moment I still can't like accept the fact that I probably will never be in Greece in a live that's not true would you be Rizzo I think you're amazing Rizzo as an adult I'm like I would die to play Rizzo but as a kid I just wanted to be the main one you know what I mean Sandy so anytime we pretend played pretend and I was in love with John Travolta. So like I was Sandy, but now like Rizzo is the part. Like I would love.

Rizzo is the only part. Yes. The only part. But then Sandy, but then you as Sandy is perfect too, because it goes, you can play the good girl gone bad by the end very well too. And I think,

I think there's, I think there's like a potential to do like flipped casts on alternating nights, you know, where you play Sandy one and Rose open mass. And I want to say this and it's not to give you a, I agree with everything that my sweet sister is saying. My sister soldier is saying. But I also want to say, and this is not to reduce you, but just to maximize the project. You would be an incredible Marty. Which one's Marty? Marty? maraschina yes i thought she was sexy she was literally hot part yeah i think that you would be an incredible marty she just needs more lines like if that was a meteor roll that's who i would

in the musical her part is bigger okay and the stage and the stage version she sings freddie my love you can know this because kiki palmer did it in the in the live grease i i did see one okay so my friend's school this is something that i could get in trouble for talking about because he might get mad at me but i see he at his school uh they did grease and he wasn't in it but like they have there's online on youtube we watched we've watched this multiple times at one point um all the graduates came back to do the the musical grease just on risers and it's really sad and like and i you know but it's so good it's like they're amazing but like why are they doing in the cafeteria and you guys are older and they're clearly trying to show off but here's the thing is i posted a video one of those um on instagram you know those videos

where it's a second of the day video yeah yeah yeah yeah so in one of the videos yeah i i posted one and in the background we're watching it and someone commented oh my god i was in that like and someone following me on instagram was the performance but saw the video in the background of one of those second of the day videos how how did they pay attention that close i think it's because they they've watched it they watched that video of them enough times to recognize the literal frame at a glance to be like that i that wait whoa that's me and she's she was watching me fully in the background like you see how my screen is if the tv was all the way yeah yeah yeah yeah could you imagine someone you followed on instagram was watching your greece performance where you went back to your high

school and perform greece psych i look psycho but to be fair to that person if i if i was i would dm you and be like i was in that video yes she did and she was but if she's listening now i want to say you guys did an amazing job the vocals were totally the reason we're watching is it's funny that's my friend's school yes that's the reason it's you guys literally sang perfect costumes out of control you all had headset mics i loved it stunning meg is pure of heart she would never watch it out of malice no and i also love greece so anyone performing i would love to watch fully the whole performance i'm not kidding what's the story behind you being the the fill-in for a miracle worker

yeah oh so in high school i just never my drama teacher didn't like me everyone else thought it was funny but i never got the parts there was one time i was the understudy and someone literally went out of the performance and i was like oh i get the part and they were like no we're still not gonna give it to you even though you're the understudy oh yeah literally gave it to someone else and i had a small which part was this that was um blithe spirit we did what the fuck they couldn't even trust me to be the ghost in blithe spirit that's really really crazy wait psycho where did so this is something that i i have to wrap my head around sometimes so like there was a high school really doing Blythe Spirit.

Blythe Spirit. What musicals would they do? Like what were some of the ones that got performed? Oh, we did. Oh God. We did Little Abner. The one that's a little like we shouldn't have been doing this was Aida. Cause there were so many white kids.

That's humiliating. Like I was a kid at the time being one of the singers but um no better we did the sound of music i was a nun nice anything goes i was the old woman just total horrible parts yeah that's the thing a chance is it's like i i was just curious because sometimes like when when i was at nyu and i knew what a lot of musical theater kids like like the southern kids like from where i guess from schools that did things like with big budgets like I went to school with this girl who is from Texas outside of Dallas and she was like yeah last year we did the Scarlett Pimpernel and she would show me like full Broadway scale costumes like you've never seen anything

like it like I'm sure you know the Jimmy Awards, like when those kids come from those schools and they have the costumes and like, but the whole production is like that. Like in some of these Southern schools. So when you said that your school did Blithe Spirit, I was like, maybe they were one of those schools who did these like- No, we did it on a low budget.

Okay. Like we traveled with the Miracle Worker and I was the mom. Where did you go? Oh God, it was one of those things where like everyone comes with their best performance if you get in and like everyone else had performances like what you're talking about full costumes like our set fell apart we were in a cafeteria doing it it it's like a serious play like it's not just serious play the set was falling apart oh my god that is that's crazy and so wait you said you were the mom in the milk worker i was the mom that was like my best role helen's mom so you were not helen or annie sullivan no still not a lead but like was like it still had lines i mean i got the worst parts so that was like my big senior part

do you feel this way because i feel like i feel like it's it was a blessing that i never got parts in high school because truly i i do think it's one of those it's the drama kid version of you you peaked at that time interesting because it gave it gave me a fire to be like i want to not do this i don't want to be in this state for the rest of my life. Yes. And to be like, think of some of the stuff we get to do now and be like, oh my God, high school Megan wouldn't be so happy to know. You know what I mean? I remember thinking

when I was like 17 that it was too late for me to ever become an actor because I didn't start when I was like in middle school with the rest of the serious kids that did theater. And I remember thinking like, I won't be able to go to school for acting because I didn't do it in high school. And like, I always felt like I was behind. Me too.

It is kind of nice to know that like, you can reassure that version of yourself that it wasn't true, really. And it didn't, I would rather it be like this, where you decided as an adult, I don't think anyone should be famous before they're 30. When did you decide you wanted to like, you know what I mean?

Yeah. No, a hundred percent. What, when did you decide you wanted to hashtag do this? I've always, always wanted to act always, but I just didn't,

I thought like you had to have, like I was, you know, in high school being like, I don't have money to move to LA or New York. Like I didn't know. And I also, I think not getting parts made me a comedian

because like I was being so funny backstage with my friends you know what I mean you just had a lot of time to like find uh find a way to make people laugh yeah you just have so much time to be like well we might as well have fun because we're like stuck here in hell week we don't have any lines you know what I mean or like I would be I couldn't take it seriously like I remember laughing so hard during the miracle worker during practice like crying

laughing like I shouldn't have had a lead role probably you know like I probably would I don't know this was more fun but yeah I've always

I was in one play when I was in middle school it was Peter Pan I did it when I was in seventh grade and I had like I was one of the pirates and I had like

a very small part and I would constantly fuck around with these other two girls who were cast as pirates. And then during Hell Week, one of them, I'll never forget her name, was Alicia Barbera.

She turned to me while I was messing around and she said, Matt, it really doesn't feel like you're taking this seriously. And you need to take this seriously. And if you're not going to take it seriously, then you probably shouldn't hang out with us because we are need to take this seriously and if you're not gonna take it seriously then you

probably shouldn't hang out with us because we are going to take it seriously going forward because we actually want to act and i was just and she she had up until that point messed around just as much as me and we would we we were goons together and i looked at her and i was like wow you really just flipped on a switch and it it affected us for the entire rest of middle school and high school. It really will change. You can't look at someone different the same way after that. No, after she turned on me emotionally in that way. And also she said this in front of like four or five other people.

And it was really hurtful because I thought we were fun friends in like this stupid play. And then she turned around and maybe she was self-conscious about the fact that she had been messing around too because all of a sudden she dressed me down and as a result I remember her full name. She will never be that kind of person never will be a comedian never will be a comedian

you know what I mean like to take it that seriously like we're having fun. I don't know what she does now. At that age though, I was like a kid who turned on a fucking dime and completely shifted emotions. And it was just like,

I decided that I'm, I'm, I'm upset. I don't know why I'm upset. Like I was, I was that girl. What was her name? Alicia Barbera.

Alicia Barbera. We're naming names. names i mean she's listening like well she is doing it probably not and so i want to remind her that she did that like i do just think it's funny how do you say something like that to someone even as a kid that's not an excuse i mean honestly who's the best version of themselves at 13 you know never i you've never said something like that to someone i've never said anything like oh even as an adult if you're like okay so i if i'm talking to a new friend and i'm trying to talk like shit but i'm not saying anything mean but if they're like i don't know that person's really nice then you can't be close

to them that's the same energy as that girl. It's the worst thing someone could do is be like, actually, no, I'm not going to go on this road with you. Yeah, I'm just like, oh, okay, thanks for making that up. Yeah. But even as an adult, you're saying, Meg, if you do that. Yeah, I don't know. I think they're nice.

It's like, okay, well, we're never talking now. Just make up something. Be like, oh, yeah, I know. I'm not saying anything mean. I just like be on my yeah don't embarrass me they don't know that in that moment all they've done is establish the fact that they can't be trusted yes yeah i didn't go home being like wow oh god that person's nice for not talking bad about that other person literally also if you want the cool way to do that is be like oh my god that's funny nice for not talking bad about that other person literally also if you want the cool way to do that is be like oh my god that's funny you say that i actually do really

like her but but i guess i get what you're saying but i do like her though yeah but at least get on their level to be like yeah girl that's funny but that is my friend just so you know i don't hate you though that's good that's good so cool but i my stomach literally hurts yeah but that is my friend just so you know i don't hate you though that's good that's so cool but i my stomach literally hurts yeah but that's fine it's gonna be like that for a second it's the only way because then i'd be like oh god this person i'm talking to is really cool and really nice i'm gonna keep talking to them but if you were like yeah i don't know. Then it's like, oh, I can't trust you. You're right. It's hot. It's cool. It would embarrass me. But I get it.

You don't want to always talk shit about someone. What if someone talked about my best friend? If it is your friend, then you've got to be like, just so you know. I would want the person to know, like, you can't really keep saying that to me. Because if you say something actually mean, I probably will tell them they're my close friends that is such a good way i literally feel like it just happened even though it didn't because we pretended you know what i mean i'm like yeah you're i go yeah you're totally right matt being in quarantine everything feels real when you imagine it now you know what i mean yeah i yes i exactly i know 100 what you mean

yeah because you have to you have to recreate those social situations that aren't around so it's like sometimes i'll just be by myself in my apartment and i'll be like i'm jealous of myself myself is making breakfast and i'm so stupid like i'll create like things conflict within me imagine something you were embarrassed about in the past and you can't shake the feeling for hours i just can't shake it you know oh god i'm so embarrassed yeah what is the time you couldn't shake it the most just a bad feeling yeah when when did you have such a bad feeling that you couldn't shake i will be honest i think that now i'm better than before quarantine of self comforting and shaking stuff off.

I see. If that makes sense. That's a really become more self sufficient. Yeah. Yeah. Like, like this Sunday, I felt like that Sunday sad feeling. Right. And I let myself feel that.

But then I got up like, and this was hours of letting myself feel that I get really sad. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like I, yeah sad. Yeah. No, I get it. You know what I mean? Yeah. So it was one of those Sundays. I don't get sad all the time. I'm normally pretty productive, happy.

But you have days where it's like a crash moment. Of course. Pandemic. And then you get really sad. And if you're isolating, it feels so intense. But now I am better at shaking it off than in the first part of quarantine where i was like panicked oh my god i can't shake this sunday feeling off i'm alone i need to go to ohio right now but now i'm like right go cook something and like uh-huh you know talk to a friend and and it's so much easier now but yeah because you because you've practiced it yeah i think so do you guys

feel like that too or am i being psycho no no being too deep a little deep and dark no that's i think that's a i think that's for me anyway it's just been it's like i did there was a lot of time to look inward and for me it ended up being good because i learned things about myself i'm not sure that i'm um better at shaking off bad feelings but i am better at understanding some things about what i need and what i actually like i think that's what it is it's like not letting not like repressing the feeling but knowing that you'll get out of it whereas in the beginning of quarantine i was like i'm isolating alone if i feel really sad one day which is always like the next day i feel better you know what i mean it's not it's usually

just like a little thing but everyone has that right now obviously and um knowing like oh i'll get through it and like what to do to give yourself i know that better now yeah exactly like i feel like beginning of lockdown we all were like this I'm gonna feel this sad for the rest of time yeah and it's not that over the long term that like we've had these huge peaks and valleys that like like the the deviations are like that big but it's like oh no like this is even in the short term like very temporary like I'll have a moment tomorrow where I'll feel relatively happy or relatively sad, but then I'll level back out at like this baseline that I'm at now,

which like sucks, but it's not going to be forever. Yeah. Even friends that are like, Oh, I know I'm going to feel this way for a couple of days, but then I'll be good. Like,

I feel like people are better at knowing themselves and how long it will last. That is really interesting. It's like an increased patience and tolerance for bad feelings. Yeah. In a weird way, which is like, it doesn't sound good, but actually is good. Yeah. Yeah.

That is interesting. I didn't mean to make it sad. But I think everyone's going through, I mean, we all are going through the same thing at the same time. And I feel like, yeah, I just was so panicky early on. And now I'm like, oh, I'm having a sad day. I'm just going to let myself be sad until I'm not. And then get up and do something.

That's very liberating. I know that's what I need. Yeah. And also, it's kind of like, this is weird, but just getting better at not feeling like every single day has to be the day. You know what I mean? Like it just, you give yourself more of a break. That's what I've liked about this.

It sort of happened when I moved from New York to Los Angeles. I don't know how you feel, Meg, but it's like, you feel like in New York, you have to have a million things on your schedule every day in order to say it was a productive day. And then in LA that changes. And then with the pandemic, that's actually changed for everyone. People have to be okay with some days in your week, just fully nothing is happening. And that is, I think, scary for a lot of people who haven't yet dealt with some things they need to look inward on. Like a lot of people stay busy because they don't want to actually sit and look at their life. But I found that it was ultimately helpful because there was a lot of things I needed to look at.

So not I never to be like silver lining about this. But I do think that ultimately these are things that we can take from it that make us a little bit better people no totally we need to see that kind of stuff because there's so many scary things like i i feel like i don't know about you guys but i am i have a lot of social anxiety now like i feel like i'm always a little anxious whatever but like now if i do interact with people not like this because we're friends but like I'm always a little anxious, whatever. But like now, if I do interact with people, not like this, because we're friends. But like if I have a Zoom meeting, I get so nervous. I can't stop thinking about it.

Oh, yeah. And it's like, that should be fun. Like I'm seeing people now, but it's so, it's like on another level now. Because we're so used to isolating alone now. I know. I know. Yeah. For me, it's like on on zoom it's always fine it's it's now seeing people in person like every now and then you will see someone in person

like or like some a friend you haven't seen in a while and i'm kind of like always like what am i gonna wear like yeah even my friend that i see like once a week like i'm like what am i gonna wear am i gonna put on like am i wearing shoes when they come in? Like, even like ordering a coffee, I'm like shaking. I like so nervous to like order a coffee and go back home. Like, and I know I'll shake that off, but like, it's just being out of practice of seeing new people.

I don't know what it is. It's so weird. Oh, whenever, whenever, I mean, I don't know what, I don't know what after COVID means,

but it's like whenever like things start to like thaw back to like some normal social environment it's like it'll take us I think like I'm gonna say like five months for us for us to all get used to it you know I'm wondering if like when dating

starts again if I'll be like rip roaring ready to go or I'll be like hey i'm tyler i mean matt sorry i forgot my own name um how do i sit here like is it just sitting like a chair like and we eat here at the restaurant like i feel like that that might be me or i might be like let me smoke a cigarette let's fuck i don't know what i'm a one-on-one meal already makes me nervous like even with friends, sometimes I want another friend there.

Like, yeah, all the time. Because literally this is another thing. When you're alone with one other person and it's been a while since you've been around anyone, you're kind of like, should we fuck? It's always called in there. You're like, it's like, this has never happened before. Wait, are you guys like online dating right now?

Or like? I'm just chatting with people. I'm not like, I'm not really seeing anybody. It's always fun to flirt with someone via text. Well, you're also working and you're needing to not see people. It's responsible for you not to be with people. Even during the time off, I was like, I think I'm having fun just flirting.

Yeah. And that's it. And like ending it there. I don't know. Yeah. I get it. That's always the best part, I think. I'm like, I've never seen this guy.

He's listening like, You have to see firefighters. That's kind of the best part, you know? Waiting forever. He's like listening like, okay. That's kind of the best part, you know? Waiting forever. He's like listening like, okay. It's fun to wait forever. And she's like, no, to meet physically in person. To share space.

We should wait forever until we're very old. I'm like, but don't go seeing anyone else. We're exclusive, mister. Like, I'll be ready to go soon. Exclusively distance. Yeah. You don't even want him seeing friends.

Stay quarantined. He's probably gonna get vaccinated soon because he, I think he's like frontline, basically. We don't have to get into this.

Yeah, I'm. That would be so hot. Well, I keep laughing like I'm pretty far down the list. Like, a comedian sort of. I'm not getting that thing until everyone else gets it.

Yeah, I know. It's so true. I mean, I'm praying every day too, but. No one here has any pre-existings. Bowen, do you have any pre-existings? No, I don't have pre-existings. I'm so happy. I'm so happy that you're so healthy, but bummer that you're not higher up on the list my physician the physician's assistant i see called today and he was like you

know your liver enzymes are high he was like have you been eating and drinking poorly i'm like i've not been drinking any alcohol since the pandemic like i'll have like one drink a month so it's gotta be eating i guess and then he's like okay no no it's fine but i'm saying like i guess i guess no this is a like okay no no it's fine but i'm saying like i guess i guess no this is a this is a totally different question but to meg does does him getting vaccinated does that help with anything are you still gonna kick the can down the road no it does i i'm i'm really nervous because of covid so if he got vaccinated i'd be be like, honey, put it anywhere. Yeah. Put it anywhere, honey. No,

I, I am going to probably, I will probably safely one day meet him if, and, um, I, um, yeah, I'm just so,

there was one person, now I'm just giving everything. There was one person I was hooking up with, but this is someone I knew for sure, already knew. So like, I knew she was home alone. I knew she wasn't seeing anyone.

And I knew her, her but him i'm like gaining trust you know learn like of course you know learning about him learning about him learning about him i do trust him but it is scary to question about the person that you were hooking up with in the beginning of pandemic were they someone you were hooking up with pre-pandemic and it rolled into the pandemic or was it a friend that you decided to start hooking up with pre-pandemic and it rolled into the pandemic? Or was it a friend that you decided to start hooking up with in the pandemic? Oh, this is good. So this is somebody who I hooked up with years ago.

And there's not to say we won't start hooking up again. But this is somebody who was like a past... This is a girl who was like the first girl that I knew I had feelings for. But she was dating. She was just about to start dating someone else. So she was kind of already into someone. I wrote her a song.

It's really like the most romantic thing I've ever done. It was at a live show. But she's come back in. I literally keep forgetting this is going live. No, it's all nice stuff though. I haven't said anything mean, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No.

But she's somebody who came back into my life during pandemic. She lives in LA. God, I love that. So we're hooking up very safely. I mean, I'm talking tests, talking has been no one else. I'm talking, we're both,

we're looking like Amy Adams in Arrival when it happened. We were in those big orange suits. Mother holding up the whiteboard, holding up the whiteboard, writing in. I touch your breasts, but this is like three years ago when I was like,

right. Yeah. Yeah. But isn't it interesting how those early hookups, like even if they weren't great at the time and like it ended or whatever, it always in retrospect, years later seems like the hottest thing in the world like there's a couple guys that like i get so horny for now when i think of them and like i that i hooked up with like four or five years ago

that probably if we hooked up again it wouldn't be great but it's something about the romanticization romanticization of it all you remember everything so more like much more romantic i think oh yeah yeah well you just want you just want to like extend the memory too yeah and maybe not extend it but it's like you just want to like kind of like add a new volume and on on the shelf you know yeah oh my god do you know that song by Bon Jovi? You wanna make a memory. You know another song? Oh my God, it's incredible. I don't know if I've heard it.

You wanna make a memory. You wanna steal a piece of time. Oh yeah, I think so. You can sing the melody to me. Yes, I think so. And I can write a couple of lines. Yes, guys. You. And I could write a couple lines. Yes, guys. You want to make a memory. It's really good.

I didn't know that was Bon Jovi. That's great. It's such a good song. And the verses are like, It's been a year. It's been a while. I knew I'd see you a couple times. It's really just like this person that's from your past that you see again

and you're like let's make a memory again but if someone said that to you in real life let's make a memory you might be turned off a little bit I would be horny I think do you guys have a weird thing if someone says a weird phrase I kind of start freaking out and I'm like will I ever see them in the same way

I'm trying to think of like what someone would say it's happened before where someone said and I'm not judging either the language by the way I don't know I don't know what I don't know what someone would say Bowen what if someone that you were hooking up with just turned up you looked at you dead in the eyes and was like I love you what would you say I would be like would you say I love you. What would you say? I would be like. Would you say I love you too? No. You'd be like, excuse me? I would stop and be like, what's going on?

Are you okay? And they'd say, I love you. I'd be like, do you, or why? I'd be like, why are you saying that? You'd say, why are you saying that? Someone, someone who I'm hooking up with for the first time saying that? Like second or third time. Check, please.

I go, check, please. I go, Uber, Uber, please. Uber, please. You can say Uber and Uber. I was actually thinking more of when people say things like awesome songs. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know what you're saying.

I was thinking just goofy text like oh you weren't talking about like dirty talk that's why i was so confused at the prostate thing but now i realized i was like oh no i'm not judging any sex talk but uh you you're saying like a cool beans yeah something like cool beans i can't wait to eat your ass i I'm like, okay, you really did with the cool beans, but okay. Cool beans. Like that kind of thing. Or awesome sauce. Yeah, yeah. Awesome sauce is disgusting.

What's some gross ones? Epic. We were talking about this with Eggo. Eggo Wodum. Epic card, yeah. She hates the word awesome in general. If you say awesome at all, she hates it. Oh, really?

And now I'm self-conscious. Now I'm like, I'll never say the word awesome again in front of anybody. I think I say awesome a lot. Yeah, I'm like awesome doesn't like what is the word like? Wait, Meg, ego and boredom hates us. No, no, no, no, no. It's, I don't think either

of you, I actually don't think either of you say awesome that much. I've never heard you describe something like. You know when people say, oh, I have this ick. Like when people like do this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's when people say, oh, I have this ick? Like when people do this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just an ick. It's just an ick. Yeah. Awesome is not one for me. I'm fine with awesome. I'm totally fine with awesome.

A couple of people I know say the word rad and I caught myself saying rad a couple of times and I was like, I don't know if I need to say rad. I've tried it on. I like you guys saying rad though but if someone was like i i think it'd be rad to have sex with you then it's like oh maybe i don't know that's okay it's really awesome sauce for me that's really killing me there's a couple other ways you can't think of like um

neato skito if someone says that actually is too goofy that it's fun I'm going to start saying Nidosquito and if anyone says anything I'll just be like everyone says that title of app Nidosquito Nidosquito I kind of actually really like that Nidosquito

my mom broke up with someone because he said something and I can't remember what it was I think it might have been like he said something oh, I look like a goober or something. Oh, no. No goober. She fully, fully broke up with him over it when I was younger. And I was like, oh, I guess that's a thing. Like if someone says something you don't like, sometimes it's hard to get past.

Well, because you know that that's like part of who they are. Part of who you are is how you communicate and how you express yourself. i don't know if i could be with someone that said goober you know what's a pet name that i never liked but then i heard people say it and they it worked for them and so now i'm not opposed to it calling someone your boo oh i don't yeah that might be an ick for me like boo come over here i have i have the most x out of all of us. Yeah. Wait, I want to hear more. What about baby? Like, do you like baby? Because I know friends that don't like it.

And I kind of like baby. Baby kind of flies out of my mouth. It really doesn't matter how I feel about it. It is how I, when I have a partner, it is how I refer to them. Like baby, I need to go over here. I know some people think it's annoying. Like, but I think it's a cute nickname. One that I like, but i'll say it to friends and

like in text a lot that i'm like could be someone else's ick is i like to say like bunny is that no that's just got saying it's so ick whoa flop you're an ick flop i've never said it to like someone i'm dating you just did honey say it to friends in text yeah oh god love you bunny wow that was so fucking cute oh my god bunny I don't do it like in person I don't think

I've just been texting it a lot okay bunny how's my bunny today it's fine how's my little bunny it's cute I think it's amazing I think it might be weird

I think it's awesome sauce in person I don't think I really say it in person though. My fifth grade teacher was named Bunny and her last name was Cornfield. Bunny Cornfield? That is a cartoon. Miss Cornfield.

Miss Bunny Cornfield. Was she an older white woman? She was. Yeah, she was like in her late 40 40s not older but she was just like relative to me being like you know nine yeah at the time she felt so old to you if you were so young yes cornfield is what's really freaking me out cornfield funny cornfields but yeah i guess like you know here's the thing about another thing that's hard about parenting is like naming a child like you know you have a certain last name so it's up to you

to pick a first name not just that you like but it's going to be a dynamic name altogether yeah like so if your daughter's last name is cornfield she could be abigail cornfield or like you know melissa cornfield or like kelsey Melissa Cornfield or like Kelsey Cornfield no give her something that's going to have some character Bunny Cornfield we can literally see it it's a bunny running through a cornfield and to have a positive image with that person like it does

something for them down the road I want to know that middle name the joke was she was always joking like everyone's like what's your middle name is cornfield and she'd be like anna and we'd all have a big laugh bunny and cornfield yeah maybe she doesn't have a middle name some people don't

maybe she doesn't have one bowen young doesn't have a middle name what's yours mag? murray classic classic I feel like so many people have that middle name I feel like it's and this is just like statistic

this is not me like I'm just saying I think it is the most common middle name for women I think so too I think it's it's a classic

for a reason thank you yeah it's because it's absolutely beautiful it's because it's one of the most beautiful names in the world Marie it's just so

it's a very gorgeous name thank you guys you know i used to not really like my last name not like hated it but i didn't i love it now i i mean i love my last name now and for years now have but when i was a kid i feel like i didn't really like it i never hated it but just i know that i didn't love it. And now it's like, I love it. But yeah. Your whole name is perfect. It just rolls off the tongue. I think I just was like not popular in school, in middle school.

And like people would say it wrong, like Statler, you know. Yeah. Salter. And it'd be like me being like, it's Salter. You know, like there was just, it was more about me growing up than actually not like, but I do like the name. Wow. Really going off about my last name.

But now I do like it though. No, when you're young, when you're growing up and people say your full name, you kind of like attach all your insecurities, insecurities on it. And then as you, and then maybe when you start performing, it's like, oh no, this is like how people know me. Definitely, yeah. And being so proud they know your last name and you love it now.

But in school when you're not secure and you're not in love with yourself, you know what I mean? You're right, it was all those insecurities as being in middle school and like, I don't know, just being like not popular. Imagining another kid say your full name to someone else and you'd be like oh why is there like for me at least it's like why is there shame attached to that i don't know totally now love it

yeah for me i think it was two things it was like the fact that i didn't feel special the name matt rogers is something that thousands of people have. Oh, it's such a good name. Both of you have such a great name. Famous name. I do like it now because I feel like it's a three-syllabler. Like Meg Stalter, Matt Rogers.

Oh, yes. This doesn't go off. It's easy to do. It's easy to do. Oh, my God. Am I sounding like a fucking absolute fool? No, no. It makes so much sense.

Yeah. Three and four syllable names are fun to say. Yeah, totally. It's pleasing to your ears. Yes, yes. Bowen, Yang. Bowen, Yang. Douglas, Bame.

Hansani. Hansani.na anna has four and no five do you would you say it's five anna hosney yay anna hoss well well anyway i think that that was that was really important that we sort of like you you know, found our names. And now we're going to find some humor with I Don't Think So Honey. A little bit of a humorous segment just to sort of spin around the comedy block right now with I Don't Think So Honey. Our famed segment where we take 60 seconds to rant against something in culture that we hate. Yes. Matt, do you have something? I do. I do. I do you have something? I do. I do.

I do. I do. I do. Okay, so I'll put you on the clock. This is Matt Rogers. I don't think so, honey. His time starts now. I don't think so, honey.

Intersections. What has ever come from them that is good? It is a confusing moment when, honey, two, three, sometimes four cars arrive at an intersection and it becomes what can only be called a standoff and at that point sometimes it is a he said he said she said she said or she said she said she said she said whatever combination situation where some person thinks they were the first person at the intersection and another person is convinced of the same thing. Is this easy to navigate? I don't think so, honey.

This resulted in me getting into an accident today that when I remember it happened in this moment, I'm so upset. My car was totaled because I was at an intersection where one turn was not a right-hand turn or was only... I can't even tell you how this person messed up but they're too confusing

they're too hard to navigate make all roads straight or u-turns or circles that's how i feel i don't think so honey and that's one minute no more intersections i'm so sorry that happened to you i was bringing back all the memories of earlier listen i i want to say clearly what happened which was we i was driving down the street here came an intersection the person in front of me blew their stop sign which by the way was a right turn only stop sign and they went straight and i had no time to break and slam i blame intersections i blame how confusing the stop sign was and the fact that people be acting a fool when they approach intersections it's just we need to be outlawed they need to be outlawed thank you

kamala i'm looking at you this is what you said you would do one chance that's what i said when biden and harris were were inaugurated i said one chance one chance out One chance. Outlaw them. Outlaw the intersections. So, Bowen Yang, usually, traditionally, after I go, you go. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

You feeling good about that? I think so, yeah. Okay, cool. That's perfect, because I have in my hand the phone, and I'm about to hit it. And at this time, Bowen Yang, your I Don't Think So Honey time starts now. I Don't Think So Honey toenails.

How come when I'm clipping you, you smell like you could be a pretty good cheese? I shouldn't be hungry when I'm clipping my toenails. You know what? I'm getting vulnerable here. My toenails, I clip them and I go the odor on this. If you didn't tell me it was from a foot, I would be like, this smells like a gorgeous Gruyere.

Isn't that disgusting? Oh my God. My, I'm, stop. 30 seconds. Pick your jaws up off the floor, everyone and listeners and readers.

I have a superpower and my superpower is my toenails smell like cheese it's not foot odor no stop it you cannot make me feel ashamed about this I don't think so many toenails and then okay but beyond that when I collect you in my hand it just feels so gross I'm saying it's gross I'm saying it's gross and it makes me feel ashamed I'm like why am I

I should not want to eat this and it's a struggle that's one minute Bowen I'm looking you in the eyes right now we all feel that way we just don't say it you don't say it on the pod my toes smell like the most amazing cheese

if I'm saying if you're in denial if anyone listening no Meg you stay put if anyone're in denial, if anyone listening, no, Meg, if you stay put, if anyone is in denial about this listening, you are wrong. Come out of the closet.

Your feet smell like the most amazing cheese. And when you click your toes, you can sort of smell that. Wow, there's so much body horror in this episode. Body horror. I'm not being a little clean girl but i never thought about that maybe maybe it's different don't think i'm not ever a little naughty but i certainly didn't think that but i'm not judging you i'm just a little surprised what part of your body smells the best that you might think of eating

um what part of my body you're saying what part of my body my body that i would eat yeah what's the weird what's the part of your body where you don't mind this smell well i guess i'll say this is sometimes it's cool to smell bad if it's yourself like yeah i would say that like if my armpits smell it's kind of like and i'm just trying to be kind of a little bit saying a gross thing because y'all did but um but like if my armpits smell it's kind of like if i'm not going anywhere oh that's interesting why did that happen yeah it's not that i want to eat my arms you're a little turned on i'm not not even turned on. Not to know Andrew,

but it's almost like a science. You're proud of yourself? It's kind of like a, whoa, where's that coming from? Yeah, it's like, wow, that's my body. It can do a new thing. Have you ever had your BO change differently? And you're like, what have I done different?

It's more interesting than turned on. But what if I'm just making this up i'm like yeah i think my hair probably we both smell our own bodies and sometimes want to eat ourselves what about you bitch what part of your body you gotta make that a regular segment yes what part of your body you want to i just want to say I've never done it I've never eaten my toenails everyone stop put your pitchforks down oh I have put your mat well Matt I was gonna let you slide I'm like a fucking slob though when I was younger I would I can't talk about this oh my god we can't talk about this I think it's time for Meg okay I'm nervous I wrote it out no don't be. I tried to do a real one because remember on your show live,

I did like a silly one. Blood was coming out of my mouth, like sort of prank one. That was one of the most iconic live I don't think so, honey. Thank you. You really stormed the barn wanting to have sex with my brother.

Was that it? I don't think so, honey. My teeth bleeding every time I... Something... What was it? it was an incest thing like my doctor says i my teeth bleed every time i have sex with my brother or something psycho yeah yeah but it was like a prank there was fake blood but i tried to do one that real this time where um i'm really mad about this thing you have the range okay this is meg stalters i don't think so honey her time starts now uh i don't think so honey phone calls giving me giving me a midday heart attack just to see say see you next week honey i've never gotten a call that couldn't have worked as a text sweetie

literally while writing this out i got a call that lasted only 10 seconds and almost made me throw up honey and email would have been easier sweetie i don't even have your number saves so i don't know who this is so uh i let it go to voicemail but for some reason you don't leave a voicemail and uh the rest of the day i'm having a panic attack and one time somebody texted me and i paid to find out who it was and it was john early and i that wasn't me bragging that was just me saying I don't save anybody's number. Now I did save his number, and I have some of my family's numbers saved. But stop calling me because I don't know what the number is when you call. And also, please don't FaceTime me unless you tell me before that you're going to FaceTime me.

And none of this applies if you're family or friends, but it does make me nervous to get a call or a FaceTime when I don't know what's coming, so just text me before. And that's one minute. Oh, wow. Thank you for speaking truth. Don't you get nervous when you get calls? It just throws me totally. Literally.

And I want to, can I, can I reveal something right now? Someone has been knocking on my door and ringing my doorbell for like the whole, the last two minutes. And this is very, this situation. So can I just go see who it is? And I'm a little scared. Yes. Hold on. Oh my God, be careful.

Oh. I'm scared. Do you have someone knocking? That has to be like a package deliverer. Oh my God. Thank you so much. I'm sorry. I was on the computer doing a Zoom thing.

Thank you guys so much. We got to keep all this. Yeah. He was on the computer doing a Zoom thing. He said, what could it be? What was that? What was that? I left my keys in the door

and it was some good Samaritans being like, your keys were in the door. Oh. Classic. And that gives you hope. That gives, and that's a reason

to pick up that phone, to answer that door, to respond to those texts. That's the reason. I think that's what's scary about a call is that I think if it's not a text or an email, something must be important or

bad or something. So I'm freaked out. If you don't leave a message, then I'm going to wonder what it is, but I'm not going to answer if I don't know how your number's saved. You know what I mean? I think you're protecting yourself. I have a question. If you're not saving some of these numbers, then when someone texts you from the number, do you refer?

Do you just look back at the old text to be like, oh, it's that person? I'm getting a little better about saving numbers. Like, but I will have to, a lot of times, read what we just said to each other to like be like who, sometimes I'll answer and I don't know who I'm talking to. Like who the hell is this?

I've had full conversations with people that I don't know who it is. And literally sometimes it is a way to figure out who you're talking to. But I want everyone out there who's ever texted with me to know it could be you. It could be you. I've had people where I don't know where I know them from. They're fully talking to me and I slowly realize who it is, who I know them from.

And then I'm like retracing my steps. Did I react the way I should have? You know what I mean? And usually it's no. And it's like i created a weird vibe right and it's also it's also interesting to sort of interact with this person who you know you know but but you don't because of the contact because then you do start like analyzing the way they speak like awesome sauce like when someone says hey mama when someone says chica when someone says girly girly girly is girly hey girly god girly is so funny if you're doing it

funny and then i'm doing funny all the time yeah i do it it's a way to go now and now i'm like am i doing it as a joke or not like because now I say it's not well the answer is slowly over time it's serious the other thing is if you're talking to someone in person and you're figuring out who it is

there's a moment where you do realize who it is and you're trying not to show that excitement on your face you know what I mean yeah like you finally realize

like you're talking to someone you don't know where you know them from but then you finally it clicks and you don't want to be like oh my god cause they've thought

that you've known who they are yes yes 100% and then you finally it clicks and you don't want to be like oh my god because they've thought that you've known who they are yes yes and then you feel bummed that you didn't act that excited from the beginning yes and you want to go back yeah it's very that song you want to make a memory memory

it's so beautiful so beautiful well I'll tell you something i after a traumatic experience today i was gonna ask you how do you feel i feel okay i think i'm just gonna lay down after this and like just try and chill because it's so funny what happens like when you're in something like that like at first you're kind of like i'm fine i'm totally fine i'm totally fine and then like an hour and a half later you're like oh no i just that just happened so i probably just lay down but i will say that this flipped my whole day around and i think even at the end of it i will call it a good day oh were you not

just saying that i'm kidding what if i'm literally not i'm in such a shockingly good mood after this because you really are so funny and so fun and good to talk to. You guys are so funny. I feel high. So easy to talk to. I can listen to you talk forever, Meg. It's you guys. Because I get so anxious sometimes for podcasts.

I get nervous in this. You just made me laugh. I think I talk too much. No. No, girl. Never enough. That was so fun. You guys crack me up.

I'm crying Meg well you're crying a lot you test me you go you're saying that but I don't see the tears you're crying a lot

no you make me laugh so hard this was like so much fun you gotta come back on anytime this is truly I go next week

next week why come on I'm not busy next week I go I log on every time you're like i didn't know she was coming in today she's so funny if i really do that i guess she's been on in two consecutive weeks i'm talking every episode we're we're due to have another host kind of come in for a year um no but like, I feel like one of my big regrets

about leaving New York was that we never get to hang out really IRL. Like, I feel like you were- I never got to hang out with Meg IRL either. I know. We kind of missed each other

on the goddamn scene, as it were. I'm so obsessed with you guys and I met you on the same day and was like, I need to be best friends with you guys and we didn't get to hang out in person for longer than a minute but and it's also it is it

is unfortunately history that you were we were supposed to be our guest the weekend that corona hit isn't that right oh yeah it's true oh we booked you yeah i know i know so this is this is a beautiful you know closure for that but it, I mean, it's also just so special because, I mean, Matt and I talk about you all the time. And then fucking, and then Meg did the show that Sudie Moe and I did at Freehand Hotel. That was like one of the last shows I did live. And you killed, I've never seen anyone kill the, I know.

You are truly a savant it actually is painful really painful you know what's what's really what's the real truth is that when I did my Christmas show

in Chicago not this last December but December 4 at the hideout everyone there was like you were so good we came here because like we're fans of Meg.

And we found everyone. Truly, you were like, how was Meg? We miss Meg. They love you at the hideout. The hideout's the best place in the whole world. That whole community missed you. Oh, that makes me cry. I just love Chicago so so just in the hideout

just i mean it feels unreal when that room's packed oh it was crazy i think it was a room no when that when that we had a good audience that night too and it did that space is very the energy is very electric it really felt like like a like just a hot vibe it was very yes it is insane and just i don't know what it is people standing or the size of the room or like just the people that come there it's just oh my god and then have you ever been there bowen i've never done a show there um you have to when it comes back around i want to i want to but i just i was just gonna say that like the chicago vibe and the whole community and the ethos of it is of comedy like you're wearing a sarah squirm shirt right now right it's like i'm just like god like what like

a special place my best friend it just makes so fun coming up there like because we're all doing it for fun and everyone's so good there because like you're it's just like comedy school no one's watching us yeah you know like no one's there's no job i miss it yeah that is a that is a vibe that is um it feels sad to say that it feels like end of an era but that moment in life like for us it was like wow and all of a sudden now we start talking about this at the end of the episode when it's like no no let's talk about it but like that just going to UCB and like the good days like or like the live shows any Brooklyn show like when we were performing

college and like go to Skidmore and stuff like you know that that's like truly a moment in time like those formative comedy years when everyone was just going for it I've always loved it before I feel like I have other people that I know that like are just like when's it gonna happen and I love before when is it I feel like I have other people that I know that are just like when's it going to happen and I love before when is it going to happen

I love waiting to see they don't realize it's happening yes yeah totally oh my god it was so much fun and even now I'm like I can't wait to see what happens I like the not being famous and being like people can discover your stuff

who wants to I don't know. It's fun. Yeah, it is. It is. I go, but I want to be famous. Kidding.

No, but it's like, put me in a film. I'm like, but get me offline, honey. Put me on the screen. Put me,

put me in front of a camera. It's a big one. No, but that part's obviously the dream. Like how fun to be like making tv and movies one day but like i just think being in chicago no one knowing like anything and even before i put stuff online just being like being at a show and having to like win the audience over and i'm this big freak on stage and like they don't know me that's so fun i always loved that i always always but it's

like sort of like ingrained in you as a performer like the way to do that because i see you go up on i i would see you go on on stage and i will see you in the future where you just like immediately everyone's like wow we're key we're keying the fuck in you know and yeah you for sure carry the light you really are a star oh my god and. And that's the truth. I'm really getting the tools. Well, you guys know I'm so obsessed with you guys. So that's so nice to say.

Like I've been a huge fan before I even knew who I was. I was obsessed with you. We're obsessed with you and we have to work together. I'm obsessed with you. It's your awesome sauce. Bunny. I'm so fucking obsessed. Like your black performance.

Fucking awesome sauce, Bunny platform is bunny fucking awesome sauce bunny it was bunny awesome sauce it was so everyone everyone's fucking talking about it I'll send it to you

in a text form oh god it's really bad isn't it I'm hearing no I'm hearing you say it out loud and it makes me laugh

and smile I think we gotta start calling each other bunny IRL I think bunny could be cute hey bunny you're looking

crud on the ground earlier i think to a lover yeah maybe weird but wait i'm you know what works shortening bunny to bun oh my god bun hey bun i don't know if it works for me it's a combination of babe and hun i think what it works is when you're a nanny and you're calling the child you're watching a bunny. That's cute. Bunny or bird. I say bird a lot, but to a baby, no. No, to someone exactly my age, I want to call them bunny. You like it now.

I've totally 180'd on this. I'm like, you looked amazing, bunny. Bunny, you looked great today. Bunny girl. I missed you, you looked amazing, Bunny. Bunny, you looked great today. Bunny girl. Bunny girl. I missed you, Bunny. I missed you, Bunny. Bunny, you killed Bunny.

You killed Bunny. You killed up there tonight, Bunny. Hey, kitty girl. Hey, Bunny boy. Bunny boy is actually cute hey bunny boy I feel like that could work Douglas Bame says

you're a funny bunny you're a funny bunny that's kind of cute honestly kind of cute and to think that he's a father he could say that

for kids it's so cute calling a kid bunny or bird that's adorable I think we can all agree and um I think these kids

and this is actually it's actually segues beautifully into the song that we finish every episode with and that Meg will join us kids are

like a bird hmm I'm like a bird I don't wanna fly away I don't know where my home is I don't know where my soul is I don't know where my home is And baby all I need for you to know

But I only fly away I don't know To listen to that song You listen to Nelly Furtado Bye I'm Julian Edelman Bye. Just having a blast talking football. Every week we're discussing our favorite players of all times, from legends to our buddies to current stars. We're finally answering the age-old question,

what kind of dudes are these dudes? We're going to find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had.

We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. I was a desperate delusional dreamer. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999,

five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami? Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm NK, and this is Basket Case.

What is wrong with me? A show about the ways that mental illness is shaped by not just biology. Swaps of different meds. But by culture and society. By looking closely at the conditions that cause mental distress, I find out why so many of us are struggling to feel sane, what we can do about it,

and why we should care. Oh, look at you giving me therapy, girl. Listen to Basket Case every Tuesday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.