Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - "Orlando Realness" (w/ David Mizzoni)

Episode Date: April 20, 2016

Come get your life! Your culture consultants chat about Drag Race, Lady Gaga, and being high at Orlando theme parks. Also listen to find out what the "J. Lo Stalemate" is. With Pop Roulette's terrific David Mizzoni.LAS CULTURISTAS HAS A PATREON! For $5/month, you get exclusive access to WEEKLY Patreon-ONLY Las Culturistas content!!https://www.patreon.com/lasculturistasCONNECT W/ LAS CULTURISTAS ON FACEBOOK & TWITTER for the best in "I Don't Think So, Honey" action, updates on live shows, conversations with the Las Culturistas community, and behind-the scenes photos/videos:www.facebook.com/lasculturistastwitter.com/lasculturistasLAS CULTURISTAS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASThttp://foreverdogproductions.com/fdpn/podcasts/las-culturistas/ Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Jagamofino, I'm not me Jagamofino, I'm not me Ding dong! Las Culturistas are here, it is time is it is now it is it is time it is place honey this is bowen yang and this is matt rogers and this is the las culturistas podcast we culture experts are here we're on a crusade on a crusade for culture a crusade for culture you know that's gonna be our new slogan i think we're on a crusade for culture i like it because of its religious overtones absolutely and there's um you, you know, the Inquisition, the Spanish Inquisition.

But this is a culture Inquisition, honey. It's a culture Inquisition. Absolutely. Because we're looking at it and it needs to be inquisited. Absolutely. Is that a word? How would you say that? You know what?

Culture is about creating culture and language is culture. And I think inquisited is a word. I think so. I think rule number 12. Rule number 12. You can create words. Guys, we have such a special guest with us today. A truly special guest and a great friend.

He's a member of Pop Roulette. He's been a friend of ours for, probably a friend of mine for 2011. So maybe like five, six years. A star of the NYU reality show. Yes, way back when. A master choreographer master choreographer and i'm going to bring up more about that but his name is david mazzoni hi david guys i'm so excited to be here thank you for having me truly we're joined by another culturista i think another contemporary contemporary culturista boys you're flattering me well i have to say, there was a period in my life,

and this is like, I do credit David with this. Okay. After I met David, I did start wearing tighter jeans. Wow. And my style did change. Well, I mean,

we finally acknowledge his colorblindness. Yes. And I also fully thrust upon you bags and bags of clothes of mine that I had. I get hand-me-down clothes from David and have been now for, I guess, four years. day to this day and i've also realized like much much of the clothing that i wear is either david's or henry's like i won't wear my own clothes yes and then honestly all my clothing and i'm actually my boyfriend just moved in and so basically now he's doing

this thing where he's like you have to give away almost everything you own because we have to fit my things in and everything i'm giving away is my real shit and like david's shit is staying and like i'm like i can just wear all your things because i'm talking to henry what's your shit like describe generalize your shit to be honest with you like all of it is way too tight up top okay i have this thing because thing, because I think what's in now, and I think what I like, is like tighter pants and dark on the bottom, and then like a little bit looser up top, I think. Well, being colorblind, I guess it's part of the thing is just the colors become dark and light. The colors are, you know, yeah.

Just kind of like a dark with a light whenever possible. Thank you, David. But I definitely, I mean, I got a lot from my friend. I'm happy to supply them. I have another bag for you, Henny. Okay. Well, I want it. It's coming your way, bitch.

Oh, my God. He's going to kill me. If I come with another bag of clothes. All right, bitch. Okay. Now it's time. David, we want to know more about you. Let's talk about the culture that shaped you up until this point in your life.

Go back all the way to the beginning. Just walk us through, honey. Okay. Well, I think this is where Matt and I really bonded when we first were becoming friends when we were in reality show. From Rhode Island, which is, I usually refer to it as New Jersey and Boston's kind of love child. It's like an Italian-Irish sort of like clusterfuck where everyone smokes um and everyone loves their moms oh yeah really nice place so are you saying that everyone smokes weed yeah rhode island is huge with weed absolutely is it yes see this is a thing that is different from

and i don't know because we all went to nyu and one difference that i noticed i clocked this difference honey is i'm from long island and everybody was an underage drinker and then i came to nyu and all of a sudden everybody i met and i mean everybody had like a big vocabulary for weed and i didn't know anything about that and you were like a full-blown stoner like well i mean i didn't actually smoke a damn thing until my senior year of call i'm senior year of high school and then once i got accepted into nyu i was like oh let's fucking go yeah i got in early decision i was done like december yeah and that was a wrap and i went absolutely fucking nuts yeah yeah yeah um actually with my friend greg shout out to greg

if he's listening to this i'm going to his wedding which makes me just feel so old i'm going to his wedding congratulations we love you greg and katie but anyway um greg like literally gave me my first bowl and like taught me how to buy it and all this stuff and anyway my dad's like now like well he's like loving it too and he's yeah he grows for it it's like i want to say that um maybe well my dad is just uh starting to get into it for sure and that's something that was like so crazy for me because i have actually this amazing story of my i think i was i want to say 17 i had finished my like restaurant job at the time and i was like meeting up with a friend who i worked with to like smoke a blunt smoke a blunt yeah she was like you want to roll it and i was like oh yeah like i'll roll it sure no problem this is straight dave by the way sure like also a great tits um

anyway good boobs good boobs um so i like i'm sitting on the thing and my mom calls me and she's like dave she's like i'm we're making pasta like are you coming home which is like a very typical call from my mother and i'm like mom like uh work is really like running late like i have a couple of tables that i have to stay around for like i'll be home soon but i'm gonna be home later than i anticipate and she was like okay like just let me know when you're coming home so me and this girl like go for a lap in her car and i'm like going in i'm in like the front side seat and we're talking about like i don't even fucking know like whatever yeah whatever you talk to your like restaurant job friends when you're 17 about was there's a whole nother podcast i know

it really is i had the same experience well not to get too far away from what it is because i do want to find out what what it is that you think that like that we bonded about that shaped that that was like the culture part of the culture shaped you but yes fucking 100 i identify with like having having a really quote unquote best friend at work. At work. Mine was named Amanda.

Mine was named Emily Knepper. Mine was named Emily too. Oh, wow. Emily's. I'm not going to drop her off. I mean, their names were Emily's and Amanda,

so of course they were suburban white girls who worked in restaurants. And this girl, Emily, was the smoker. She had one of those long dreads with a bead and then in the back that she

like had to tuck in for health and like safety concerns and hygiene. Hygiene. Yes. So anyway, like bottom line is we're like pulled over to red light and I'm fully like licking this Dutch clothes. Top. No. Way worse than a cop.

My mother. Oh my God. Pulls up next to us in her infinity i30 turns i like turn to my right and i'm like oh it's literally in my mouth like it's it's like right here oh no you were literally caught in the act i can't even tell you so i like turn to my mom she goes what she doesn't know this girl emily that i work with she never comes so she's like who are you first of all who are you with second of all what the fuck are you doing third of all, who are you with? Second of all, what the fuck are you doing? Third of all,

you lied to me. I know that's the worst. Which is the worst because my mom is the best. I know. We're just so close and I just never want to hurt her little body. You know what I would have done?

I would have put on an accent and been like, I don't know who you are. That'll throw her out. Well, she lips to me from across the thing with her car. She just lips,

get home. Oh my God. And so I call her and I'm like, hi. I was like, well she lips to me from across the thing with her car she just lips get home oh my god and so i call her and i'm like hi i was like i and so like my mind i like first of all i like completely lose my cool in front of emily i'm like trying to be all like blunder and then i'm like yeah this girl's got this girl's got like a dread she's cool she doesn't have to worry about her mom emily with a dread is like oh my god this boy is like totally freaking out. His mom is totally not chill. And so I call her and I tell her that Emily dropped a cigarette and that I was fixing her cigarette for her and like she was going to smoke it and that she was giving me a ride

home. And my mom was like, well, then why wouldn't you use your car? And I was like, cause my, and my mom was like, shut the fuck up and just hung up the phone. Wow. So anyway, that's like a, that was like a tangent experience, but it's certainly like a formative experience of my weed smoking in Rhode Island. And that's the culture in Rhode Island. I can't believe 420 is around the corner. We have such a busy day tomorrow.

We're not even going to get to celebrate. Honestly, well, this is, I guess, a perfect little plug. So David is in Popper Roulette with Bowen and I. Pop Roulette is a musical sketch comedy group that you may or may not be familiar with. We've been together for a while now. We've been together for, it's almost four years. And so we've performed many places

and we have a Spank, which is kind of like an audition show. This Friday, April 22nd at 6 p.m., we're going to be putting up our show, Pop Roulette's Amazing Earth. It's the first narrative show we've ever done. It's the first time we're going to be doing some material. And this is really something

that we've literally worked on for a month and probably have been thinking about doing for a year. A long time. And we're really excited about it. It's all about the run. Yeah. It's all about the run. Come on,

let's be real. Um, so anyway, that's happening and we're very excited. Yes. Um, I wanted to give you guys an opportunity before we jump into some current events.

I wanted to give you a, maybe I'll even put this on a clock. I want, so, cause so Bowen and David share a, uh, passionate love for a certain pop icon whose name is Lady Gaga. And I would love to let you guys kiki about Lady Gaga.

I'm going to put a minute on the clock. Okay. And I want you to kiki about Lady Gaga. We've done this many times. And go. Baby, shall we pick up where we left off? Oh, where did we leave off, honey? Well, I mean, I guess we could talk about LG5, which is her rumored fifth album.

Spilty. We're waiting for Hard. We're waiting for Hard because here are some of the collaborators she's got. She's got Mark Ronson. She's got Niles Rodgers. I mean, she's got Tony. She's got Tony Bennett. Who I heard plans to do a ballad with her on the album.

Wow. Like a more Gaga-type ballad, a less of a Tony-type ballad. Totally. I also read online that she plans to do a song with elton as well wow i don't know if that one's gonna be on the album or not these are all like very these are basically gaga fans just like just throwing i think they're basically just throwing shit in the universe and just seeing who responds right it's like a gaga reddit i wish for like a musical g album. I want almost like a Broadway drama.

Well, she's going to give you that late career. I think now what she's going to give you, I think she's going to go in that way. She's bringing it to you every ball. She's bringing it to every ball, honey. While y'all gagging.

So I shit on art pop and I, I have to say our pop was one of my favorite albums. The clock is out the window. You guys go. I would agree. Like the, that our art pop to me represented a component of lady gaga's personality that she had been a little bit reluctant to express which is like just a carefree fun like

bubble gummy sort of like attitude filled machine look she's the reason she the reason she like draws so much iron the reason why people like sort of poo-poo on her like artistic choices because she's the smartest she's the she's the only pop star smart enough to make those choices and to like know that they're gonna get a reaction out of some people um but but speaking of her next album i think i think it's gonna go in more of a punk direction like classic like punk shit that would be great i mean she to me born this way that was one of my favorite parts of born this way was that she's on the front cover with like she's dressed in like a like all this leather and she's on a bike and she's a human motorcycle motorcycle to her represent

like that was like a lot of the feeling of a lot of those songs was like very like um it was powerful and it was grindy i think born this way i think heavy metal Way, I think Heavy Metal Lover, I think like all those songs that were like, that album had such an identity, I felt. And also I met her at that time. Yes, the release. That was my first time meeting her.

I went and slept on the street, slept on 4th Avenue with my friend Michael Burbach and Ben. We have to mention though that David was on, was an extra. Yeah. Was a background actor

on the scrapped Lady Gagaaga video for do what you want and i really was too i a friend of mine his name is mark he's like sort of on the ins with all the stuff that's going on with her he's a good friend and nyu alum anyway he reached out and was like give me your email address um i'll tell you more details later and i was like does have to do with lady gaga and he was like yes and i was like can i give can i tell like three of my friends to please give their emails to you as well? And he was like, yes. Long story short, we found out that we showed up to a warehouse in Greenpoint for the Do What You Want music video shoot.

Oh, my God. R. Kelly on set. Gaga on set. The whole nine. We're in a holding room forever. There's people in nurses' outfits. They come out and give us all these jackets to wear. It's taking forever.

So Gaga buys us pizza like it was like such a fun experience we get out on set r kelly looks so wasted i can't even tell you like i gotta say and it made me really sad because like gaga was like really killing it and really trying to like focus and r kelly on set and terry richardson as director it was just like this weird energy in the room and you could tell that things weren't really going as planned and like i think that was kind of why they were behind is i think gaga and terry weren't really seeing eye to eye and i think that like it just didn't really seem to go well and that's when the video never happened i wasn't really

surprised oh okay i mean i was so pissed i was so upset but i could see like they had sort of put the single out and then they were kind of backing up off of it and then they put christina on a remix of it and they were trying to push that one instead yeah i just think that r kelly is somebody whose reputation just can't be cleared no yeah she did she did get some some flack for even having him on the album there's no doubt that he you know he's i believe i can fly i mean yes i i think he's extremely talented vocalist i don't get the choice to have him on the album and he does nothing for the song which is so good and i think actually one of the high points of art pop but the christina version was it was more fun i

don't know if it was i mean i don't know if it was better but it was definitely more fun and more fun for her fans i think and for the gay community to say i mean i think we all gagged when we heard that christina aguilar was on it because it's just so funny and they both looked like these i know honestly they look a lot like each other they looked like these fucking abba when they performed it on the voice yes and they had the they had like the scene in the performance where they both sat on the hassock and turned to each other and just confessed. They were on a hassock.

They were on a lazy boy hassock. It was literally like the two richest women in the world, the characters they were playing, were like, hey, can you come over? We need to talk. And I was like, come sit on my hassock. I need to tell you what my problems are. Maybe we're going to kiss the whole time.

And it's the press. Yeah. I love that sack. I need to tell you what my problems are. Maybe we're going to kiss the whole time. And it's the press. Yeah. I love that shit. I agree. I think I love Lady Gaga to death. I love that she's finally getting some of the respect in the industry that she deserved at the very beginning of her career. But as we do with all celebrities, we love to build them up and break them down and tear them apart. And it won't be the last time.

No, it will not be the last time. But I think that this Tony Bennett sort of break has given her some musical legitimacy and some vocal legitimacy that she's always had she's always had in my eyes but that she um i did not need but is now getting from all these people and all these haters and also the fucking she's about to get married she's like in such a good place she loves this this man and tony bennett's gonna sing at their fucking wedding like oh crazy what an italian fever dream i know like if i ever rose to a point where like i i had acquired a level of fame where i was besties with tony bennett and elton john and they were gonna be coming to my wedding to sing yeah like can you imagine her family like that's just gotta be such

an incredible experience i mean insane i i you would think and not that she's ever done anything that's expected which is why she's so exciting um and I guess to call myself like I would call myself like a b-plus fan of hers and that like it's not about how much I like her I really like her but I also understand and respect the fact that like a lot of her a-plus fans and her a-fans have like done the work like she's like the kind of person that's like if you call yourself a Lady Gaga fan, the real Lady Gaga fans will turn around and be like, oh, really? Because what do you know? Have you put the time in?

I think when you cross over into the real Lady Gaga world is when you start to really notice the differences in all of her live performances. She doesn't just take she doesn't just do what you want at Jimmy Fallon at Ellen. She brings a different performance and a new, like, take on her songs to every single place she travels.

Wait, what was this? Okay, this was back in 2014 in April when she did three different performances. Oh, this is what it was. And, like, there was, like, someone wrote an article about how crazy and impressive this was. In that same month of April of 2014, she did her South by Southwest set and gave and gave the keynote speech. And then she also did her Roseland shows, her Roseland Ballroom, which I went to, which was so just so special. That that's that I love.

You was so good. All right. I saw Beyonce there. Best concert. I remember you. I remember. Oh, I remember after that. Four.

Oh, my God. I remember after that. Four. Oh my god. You know what absolutely gave me my life at that show? Was End of Time. End of Time. And oh my god you would not believe. And then I find out four months later that she had been pregnant the whole time. Because it's when she dropped the mic on the VMAs. Oh my god. Another

iconic gay moment. Gay history. Gay history. And like also One Plus One. One Plus One. moment. Gay history. Gay history. Oh, and like also 1 Plus 1. 1 Plus 1. Amazing. Screaming, belting, giving her life. I will never forget when she did 1 Plus 1 at the Mrs.

Carter Show World Tour that we went to. Yeah. At the Barclays Center where she was in that glittery blue cat suit and she's belting her tits off. Well, imagine that, but you're 50 feet away from her. That's crazy. And Jay-Z's there. Yeah. Watching. That's crazy. And Jay-Z's there. Yeah.

Watching. That's nuts. It was such a great venue. Anyway, Gaga did that. And then her third thing was she started her art pop ball tour. And so she did these three completely different shows, gave completely different concepts and performances for each of them. And I don't know like whether whatever you think of lady gaga everybody out there listening like she's i don't know she's fully like realizing and actualizing all everything she's envisioned for herself and you know what you gotta admire and she she might

not give like like and objectively or whatever she might not absolutely hit a grand slam every single time but she bring you she bring it to you every ball to you every ball. She bring it to you every ball. She's bringing something. Yeah, something. And she's always exciting to watch. And that's what I say about her all the time is it's like, even if you're not a big fan, you are always going to be interested

in what she's doing. You're tuning in for sure. It's Madonna. For me, like it's as simple as at the end, like when Lady Gaga finishes a performance, she sticks that last pose. She hits it and she says,

that was my piece. That's what i have to bring to you here like for example i just watched ariana grande do what she do snl recently or whatever yeah she like laughed her way through those performances like she was like doing the choreography she finished that final pose and she just was like her her glance to the camera was like oh my god that was so embarrassing like oh my god i can't believe i just like vogued around the stage i mean none of it none of it's as bad as selena gomez just no yeah i mean i mean that's a whole different story but like the the lack of commitment to what they're doing or like they think it's too frivolous it's like

this isn't serious and you know what this is this is this is a good thing for all performers to talk about is like and i have this issue too where i just don't take myself seriously on stage and like i don't give it like 100 whenever i do something it's like no like just just commit to it you know you're giving excuse me you're giving people permission to like doubt what you're bringing to the yeah and i hate that and it's it's so present in what people and i have a hard time and i'm and i'm learning how to deal with that myself so anyway i know i agree with you i think that's really love lady gaga will love her till my last dying day yep

we talked about this David and I and Matt you too we're gonna see her when we're fucking 60 years old she's gonna be 70 whatever

just post up in Vegas she will be monthly pilgrimages she will be she will be doing that and you know what actually I was listening to what's the tea recently

the RuPaul podcast with Michelle Visage and they were talking about who looked snatched, the RuPaul podcast with Michelle Visage. And they were talking about- Who looked snatched last night, by the way. Michelle Visage is so fucking good. She had it on point. Her critiques were on point. She always is.

Her bronzer was on point. Her bronzer. She went to the tanning booth. Her baby bangs. I'm like a huge fan of hers. I would agree. She's getting better and better. I think she's fucking great.

And they were saying about all of them going to Vegas now. So Mariah's in Vegas. Of course, Celine's in Vegas. Brittany's in Vegas. J-Lo's in Vegas. And they were specifically talking about J-Lo in Vegas. And Michelle was saying, I get why Mariah's in Vegas now because it feels like that's the stage of her career that she's in. But J-Lo, that's not really the stage of her career she's in.

What would you say? People are begging for new J-Lo? I think that she still has hit songs, and I think that she's still able to perform them at the level that she always has. Whereas Mariah, she can't put out new material, and it's going to fucking knock you on your ass. Yeah, no, we want to hear Always Be My Baby.

We want to hear Honey. Exactly. And that's when Vegas time is. Vegas time is greatest hits. They were saying, but why are they all going to Vegas? Like, we get Britney, we get Mariah, we get Celine, because that's just where they're at, but why is J.Lo in Vegas?

And Ru was saying that she thinks that Vegas is now a different thing. It is. It's not like I'm in the twilight of my career now and I'm going to Vegas so I die. It's like people do it and they do it for two years and they make serious money. Of course.

It's so much easier than touring. Oh, yeah. The costs are like way lower. Exactly. It's so much more profitable. Yeah. Yep. No, I agree with that.

And you can also change a lot. Let's plan a trip. I would love to go. I'm trying to plan. That would be the next one for us to go to. We go on several trips together, which is going to be the segue. We'll talk about this about we'll get there but honestly i think that we should we have to go to vegas especially while jaylo's there we will we will i would love to go see jaylo also i bet

she'd have like a shot i don't know about seeing mariah all right we can talk we can we can talk about this off air but my thing is like i bet jaylo would have such a surprising amount of hits like you'd you'd hear a song and you'd be like, oh, this, like I forgot this. But so many of her songs give me my life. And I'm just going to say one that every time I hear, I'm like, get right. Get right.

Oh my God. I love get right. That song secretly gives me my life. That's the one that's like. And like then she starts singing and you're kind of like oh stop but like but like it's really good it's a good song she sometimes is on her tracks i also love let me introduce you to my party people in the club my boyfriend ariel listens to this he's just gonna scream and he is he teaches soul cycle and i just recently took they do like theme rides.

Yes. And they did a J-Lo theme ride. And I went because he loves her so fucking much. I was like, let me just go see this boy. I just absolutely. What did he play? He put on Play. Oh, yeah.

That one, like, I completely forgot about that song. Come on, play that song. For those of you out there who SoulCycle, you know, it's like you're either like running so fast you're going to die. Or you're like the resistance is up and you're going half time yeah and we were going half time to play and i was getting my whole fucking life honestly this is also the second week in a row we've talked about her and we talked about last week last week we gave her the lifetime achievement award oh you know what what lifetime we gave her a lifetime achievement award we were talking about american idol because we're talking about american idol our topic was coming to an end oh my god her performance

yeah i mean snatched she knows now though that yeah snatched is definitely the word but also she just knows now that like no matter what she's just gonna like sing whatever song she's trying to promote now and then like rip off her dress in samba for like two minutes could you believe she was singing live i couldn't believe her the call i was like this is you know what though it might not have sounded great but she was doing it yeah but you know what you got to hear the auto-tune on those mics because i mean the way you can tell is when they speak to the audience when they're like come on or like whatever it's like very pitched and tinny and tinny i mean katie perry at the super bowl oh my god i was like how is she not missing a note oh wait it. It's an odd.

That mic was chewing up her voice and spitting out something else. No, I think of an image of J-Lo performing at the World Cup and just being in the stadium. Let's get loud. I mean like, People love that fucking song.

I know. It's her fucking torch song. Latin America, any country in Latin America, As she gets buried, they're going to play Let's Get Loud. They're going to load into the ground. You know what? I'm going to make sure that my play let's get loud they're gonna load

into the ground they're gonna be like let's get loud let's get loud it's gonna be like a fucking that like gets like 58 year old men

up off the seats absolutely that's like the wedding song also the best part of her American Idol performance the best part I didn't watch it which of course

she whipped out let's get loud no it was well the fans were pretty good and she was giving you such vegas with all that oh yeah she was like see me in vegas bitch you're damn right she was

get your money and then um but the best was you know this the note and let's get get loud where it's like let's get where she goes all the way up yeah and it's a full fucking belt. Did she hit it? She goes, let's get... And then the most tracked thing happens where just like the track goes, her voice, and it was just like, she just made this face that made it look like she was doing it,

but she had to cut out. It was just so clear and obvious. Whatever. You know what? You're entertaining. She's a triple threat. For your life. Through and through.

And also these two bitches didn't respond to a text that I sent them, which was, I said to you guys, I feel that at the end of her life, J.Lo will be looked back on as a legend. I agree. You never texted us this. Yes, I did. I did. Because who else would I have said

that to if it wasn't you two? I agree that we definitely, we may or may not have gotten that text. I don't remember that. The jury's out on this one bitch don't accuse me there was no response given there are dagger eyes being thrown across this room right now okay honey let's move on to some current events shall we i think it's time to move on to current events because we obviously can't see eye to eye this is the j-lo stalemate this is this will help me go down history as the j-lo stalemate 10 000 points to gregor and in history is the J-Lo stalemate. 10,000 points to Gryffindor if we bring up J-Lo

every episode. Rule number 103 of culture. The J-Lo stalemate. The way you just said that. The J-Lo stalemate. Well, it was Garth and Kat again. I was like trying to read your lips.

I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. Guess what, folks? We're teammates again. And we're going to welcome you guys all to Dudes on Dudes. I'm a dude, you're a dude, and Dudes on Dudes is our brand new show. We're going to highlight players, peers, guys that we played against, legends from the past, and we're just going to sit here and talk about them.

And we'll get into the types of dudes. What kind of types of dudes are there, Grunks? We got studs, wizards. We got freaks. Or dudes dude. We got dogs. Dogs. We'll break down their games.

We'll share some insider stories and determine what kind of dude each of these dudes are. Is Randy Moss a stud or a freak? Is Tom Brady a dog or a dudes dude? We're going to find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, a five-year-old boy floated alone in the ocean. He had lost his mother trying to reach Florida from Cuba. He looked like a little angel. I mean, he looked so fresh. And his name, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere. Elian Gonzalez. Elian.

Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian Gonzalez. At the heart of the story is a young boy and the question of who he belongs with. His father in Cuba. Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to who he belongs with. His father in Cuba. Mr. Gonzales wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him.

Or his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. At the heart of it all is still this painful family separation. Something that as a Cuban, I know all too well. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, as part of the My Cultura podcast network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. We talk about guilt, shame, body image, and huge life transformations. I was a desperate delusional dreamer and the desperate part got me in a lot of trouble. I encourage delusional dreamers. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer. I just had such an anger. I was just so mad at life. Everything that wasn't right was everybody's fault but mine. I had such

a victim mentality. I took zero accountability for anything in my life. I was the kid that if you asked what happened, I immediately started with everything but me. It took years for me to break that, like years of work. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. I'm Cheryl Swoops, WNBA champ, three-time Olympian, and Basketball Hall of Famer. I'm a mom, and I'm a woman.

I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby, journalist, sports reporter, basketball analyst, a wife, and I'm also a woman. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. See, athlete or not, we all know it takes a lot as women to be at the top of our game. We want to share those stories about balancing work and relationships, motherhood, career shifts, you know, just all the we go through. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women. And T and I, well, we have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby, an iHeartWomen sports

production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeartWomen Sports. Garth and Kat, I guess that's like a pretty gay reference at this point.

It's pretty gay. Okay, well let's move on to some culture. Speaking of gay, we must talk current events, and this episode is coming's like a pretty gay reference at this point. It's pretty gay. Okay. Well, let's, well, let's move on to some culture. Speaking of gay, speaking of gay, um, we must talk current events. And this episode is coming out at a pretty, um, sensitive,

sensitive time because, uh, wow. This last episode of drag race called politics, shady politics, shady politics. And let me tell you, we saw the sashaying awaying of Dorji Thor. Fan favorite.

The one and only. The one and only. But here's the tea, guys. That was very deserved. That was not. I'm not. And let me tell you what really pissed me off. The way that she lip synced.

And I am telling you, I'm not crying. Okay. Can I tell you something? I told David this earlier. I was at a viewing party last night at TNT, hosted by the wonderful, inimitable Ruby Rue and equally wonderful Ragamuffin. Exceptional Ruby Rue.

Kisses Ruby. Kisses, hi, Ruby. Can't wait for Ruby to be on the show. Honestly, a beat to slay. And Ragamuffin. Both of them. Beats to slay the band. Beats to slay the band.

And Ragamuffin last night, you guys, I have to tell you, Ragamuffin was wearing this short page point wig and she was wearing this knit vest that had like little food on it like that's like like little like little patches of like a peach and an apple and a fork and then on the very back of this knit vest was just one slice of watermelon and it was the funniest fucking thing that's so anyway Anyway, so they hosted it, and you could tell, I went into this episode being like,

I'm worried for Thorgy, and then Ragnamuffin and Ruby Rue, very good friends of Thorgy Thor, were just in really sour moods, and then my friend Aaron Jackson and I were like, they're in a bad mood. This is not going to be good for Thorgy. And then after the episode finishes airing,

Thorgy just gets eliminated. Everyone in Brooklyn, she's a Brooklyn girl. This is her home turf. Everyone's really sad and disappointed. Especially TNT. At TNT, where Thorgy used to host

viewing parties for Drag Race. Ragamuffin takes the stage and she goes, I have some tea. Well, first of all, she said that before the episode aired. Because Ragamuffin's been traveling with Thorgy Thor as her assistant

when Thorgy's been touring. And so before the episode aired, Ragamuffin was like, I have some tea. And then at that point, that was another giveaway. It was like, oh, well, something shitty is going to happen to Thor before the episode air, Ragamuffin was like, I have some tea. And then at that point, that was another giveaway. It was like, oh, well, something shitty is going to happen to Thorgy. So anyway, Ragamuffin goes, well, as you all know, all the queens, all the contestants

on Drag Race get a list of all their Lip Sync for Your Life songs in order for each episode. So they know ahead of time what to prepare for. Oh my god. And I am telling you I'm not going. I know where this is going. And I am telling you I'm not going was meant for next week and here's the additional tea they were told all the queens were told that they would be judged even though they were being paired up for their challenges they would be judged individually so everyone's like cool great and then it wasn't

until critiques where you had kimchi thorgy thor and chichi sort of in the bottom it wasn't until after they went into the Untucked Lounge that the producers come up to them and go, hi guys, change of plans, you're all being judged as duos. And the song this week is being switched, and I am telling you I'm not going. And Ragamuffin said, and she didn't say anything beyond that, but the insinuation was that they were rigging that elimination

for Chi-Chi versus Thorgy so that Chi-Chi could out lip sync Thorgy in a Dreamgirls number. So they wanted Chi-Chi to remain on the show. Okay. That hurts. I think that that is really shitty. Yeah. I think it really sucks to hear.

Yeah. But it's reality TV, you know? But here's what I'm going to say. She didn't do well on the challenge. She didn't do well in the challenge. She didn't do well in the challenge, and the runway was the weakest runway. I thought it was great. You know what?

I didn't get the wig. To be honest, I didn't get the wig. But I really love Thorgy. I thought Thorgy was, for sure, top three. So dynamic. And so here's the thing. If you're judging it based on what it is for this week or you're judging it as a competition and that's always the kind of thing with these elimination shows is like do you judge it based on this this this and then on the final lip sync

and my my thing is yes you do and she didn't bring it this week with the with the runway and with the challenge and if you're a gay man and if you're a drag queen you know you're prepared for and i am telling you not going and you don't make it a character thing you deliver that song do you want to know did you watch untucked i haven't watched so on untucked i'm not gonna spoil too much but bob has this moment another another fan favorite bob the drag queen yeah we've all seen who now has no competition literally is sailing the winner of season eight, Bob the Drag Queen. It's so inevitable. So anyway, Bob just is gathering all the girls around.

She's like, all right, guys, just come here. And she goes, do you guys know when Effie sings this song? Like, at what point in the show? Bob's like, everyone's seen Dreamgirls, right? And they're like, yeah, yeah. And she goes, okay, good. Whoever's lip syncing tonight, just remember that this is the lowest point

in that character's entire life. She's lost her boyfriend. She's lost her career. She's lost, like. That's a lip sync for your life. And she goes, and Bob goes, and she's so right. And Bob goes,

this is the perfect lip sync for your life song. There's no better song. Because you're making, you're begging to stay. The opening lyric is, and I'm telling you, I'm not going. It's the title.

And it's like, you have to stay. And I'm sorry, but Thorgy did it with a smile on her face. That goddamn cartwheel at the end. The cartwheel that put the nail in the coffin, as far as I'm concerned. It was too goofy. It was too goofy. There was no characterization. We wanted a Latrice royale it was just give to our baby yeah i mean come on that was and and honestly chichi o'hara chichi that chichi o'hara

chichi devane slayed that lip sync you know what do i well do i think that that sucks what you just said yes but like there's no reason but think of but think of the alternative if they had been judged individually the bottom two might have been kimchi and thorgy or kimchi and chichi and i think kimchi would have gone in either of those cases i think absolutely they're they want to keep so they want to keep kimchi and chichi and they they said thorgy at that point was just cannon fodder which i think sucks but then also here's here's and you just brought up this thing of like well do you judge them based on the entire competition holistically or on an episode to episode basis and i think the i'm talking really fast uh no i'm following you the the the competition is designed in a way that

doesn't reward people who who plays who consistently do well in the challenges like thorgy but has people has mediocre queens coast through like derrick Barry. Oh my God, the worst. Derrick, if you're listening, I'm sorry, honey, but what is going on? You're garbage. Here's what I think. And again, I really love Thorgy. Me too. What I wanted from the beginning was a New York top three. And I thought it was very possible.

And to be honest with you, I think that would have been a great top three. I agree. Acid, I know you're somewhere out there in the world we really miss. We would have loved you on the runway. Love Acid Bassett. I mean, yeah. And my thing is, like, and again, like. Oh, she's so conflicted.

Look at her. She can't even find the words. I'm conflicted, but Thorgy was not going to win the show. I don't think Thorgy is the America's Next Drag Super superstar in a show where Bob the Drag Queen is there. And I get the rooting for the underdog thing. It's the same reason why people want Bernie Sanders, I think. It's new. It's fresher.

It's Brooklyn, which is cool. We are drawing a drag race. Well, don't think that I'm not coming. Don't think that we're not hitting that topic either, honey. That's another current event. Bob the Drag Queen is Hillary. Thorgy Thor is Bernie. Derek Barry is Donald Trump're not hitting that topic either honey that's another current about the drag queen is hillary thorgy thor is bernie derrick berry is donald let's say yes that's true i feel very comfortable with that so okay here's derrick berry would have to be smarter to be donald trump here's my deal you're ted cruz you're saying thorgy thor is not top

is not a winner material i said i said thorgy thor is top three thorgy thor reminds me it's the same energy as adore delano where it's like you like her you really want her to do well she's always doing well she's great she's a fun personality but then when it gets down to it when there's a bianca there you don't say bianca del rio yeah you're not america's next track superstar bob the drag queen has been crushing rupaul's drag race crushing it and we all knew before I mean he's just so unique I mean if you've never seen a Bob

the Drag Queen show I mean now it's gonna be fucking impossible so good fucking she was at that Barracuda this Monday you know yeah she I almost went she just it's the perfect combination of everything you love about drag and then also this whole other side this comedian this it's the one of the funniest shows

personality you just want him to host everything. He makes commentary. Untucked is Bob the Drag Queen show right now. Absolutely. Oh, and if you weren't familiar with any of Bob the Drag Queen stuff, listeners, look up two videos. Look up one where Bob handles a heckler or a drunk person at his show in the most graceful way possible. Doesn't antagonize them. He's a pro. Doesn't even patronize them at all.. Doesn't antagonize them. He's a pro.

Doesn't even patronize them at all. Doesn't even patronize them. It's just like, hey, you can't do that. Like, here's the transaction. I'm performing on stage. You watch me. That's it. He's like, wait, wait, wait.

Stop the track. I saw this video. It's so mad. It's such a good example of any performer out there handling shitty people like that in your audiences, but not in a shitty way. That's back. Remaining fully and effortlessly in control exactly in the second video guys look up bob the drag queen god warrior is the most it's the one i

scream out like it's amazing it changed my life i have to say it's a shame that there's not more lip sync challenges or like lip sync that it's not really a part of the show because it so many of them do it so well and you would only see it if they did badly in the challenge. And for queens like Bob who just aren't gonna do badly in a challenge, you never get to see what Bob can do. Or Thorgy. Thorgy has had equal... Thorgy, I think, is sort of...

is a peer of Bob's in the lip sync front. Thorgy doing the Lion King, that online is amazing. I know Thorgy did not do a good lip sync against Chi Chi for Dreamgirls, but there's a... I wish this was a video somewhere because I saw this live one time at TNT. Thorgy did this lip sync of this voicemail of a CVS employee leaving a voicemail for a man.

This must have been a crank call, but being like, hi, your anal work cream is in and your micropenis medication is in as well. And your adult diapers and all this stuff. But she mixed it in such a funny way to this dance beat and was so good. That's something that a lot of queens are doing now. They're sort of taking songs and putting a comedic spin on them in the way that they chop them up with others. And I always wondered

what would that be like if there was a challenge on Drag Race where they were allowed to choose their own lip sync song. It would be a blank stage and they could just be like well do what you do if this was your show and we were at your hometown bar what do you what do you do with a blank stage i think that that's a totally a component of being a drag queen these days it's not just getting up and lip syncing britney spears it's like what do you bring to this show that's gonna put my butt in the seat because i can see drag queens anywhere i want now. It's 2016, Henny.

Alright, well let's talk about primaries. Do we want to talk about primaries? I don't know. You cut the RuPaul's Drag Race conversation right down. Okay. Honestly, we could talk for hours about this. I think editing ourselves is a good idea. Can I just ask you guys one question?

What do you think of Naomi Smalls and how far is it going to go? far is it gonna go because can i tell you something she definitely did really well but that look was straight up raven but that was a nod to i get that it was a nod but it was the same thing it was almost like stitch it was the same it was almost like watching a model wear something and then buying it right off the rack. That was bought right off the rack from Raven. And I felt like, sure, it's an homage, but was it creative?

I don't know. That's a good question. I'm going to be honest. I didn't recall the Raven outfit until they did the side-by-side. And she voluntarily gave that information up. Yeah, well, you know what? Then it's clear that it was a choice, which is something I can respect.

Maybe not understand, but respect. It doesn't feel as rip-off-y to me if she's fully aware of what's happening. She's citing her sources. She's citing her sources. There's a bibliography, honey. I know, but I don't... But that to me is...

Wait, let's start bibliography. The bibliography, honey. But here's the thing. You cite your sources. Yeah, there's the bibliography. Honey. But, honey. But the's the thing. You cite your sources. Yeah, there's the bibliography. Henny. But Henny. But the thing is, like, is America's Next Drag Superstar a fan?

Is America's Next Drag Superstar, like, derivative of another drag queen? I don't think so. That bothered me. That's an interesting point there, Matt. I would agree that we want America's Next Drag Superstar, not America's, like, most. Biggest fan of drag race. Exactly. Yeah.

I don't know. Because that would be me or you or maybe the three of us together. It would be Bowen. But no, no, no. I mean, Bowen. I live and breathe. Now we don't want the title. Now we're passing the title around.

Bowen legendarily in something I call hashtag Katya gate. Oh, my God. Never forget. Spoiled the dismissal of Katya, and it was a wedge. It's so funny you say this, because Carl, my friend Carl last night posted this. Spoiled the Thorgy elimination.

And I said to him the moment he put it up, I said, you better take that down, or you're going to lose some friends. And he goes, I don't care, they can unfollow me. And I go, oh. No, that is not the attitude. No, no, no, no. That is serious,

and also was truly mad at Bowen for that. And also, I'm going to call him out and put him on blast right now, Joshua D. Sharp. Oh, no, no, no. That is serious and also was truly mad at Bowen for that and also I'm going to call him out and put him on blast right now. Joshua D. Sharp. Oh, come on. In the text thread. Ruined it for me.

Oh, I'm sorry, honey. Joshua D. Sharp. It took everything in me not to tweet about it. I will be, we will be, he'll be, we'll be summoned

to the Las Culturistas recording booth. Tribunals. Tribunals and you will be, you will be, there'll be a face down. There'll be daggers. I am pleading the'll be a face down there'll be daggers i am pleading the fifth on this one there'll be daggers anyway we should move on and talk about the primaries honey i cast my vote today yes honey so did i should i ask you who you voted for

i you don't have voted for hillary clinton good and david and i talked about yesterday he voted for bernie sanders i did vote for bernie and i i agree with you bowen you posted a status recently about just supporting either candidate and i we don't have to make the other person feel any anyone feel bad about their their their choice no i don't feel bad about it no one's gonna make me feel bad about it no we had a good conversation about it last night on the subway i i definitely would never strive to make anyone feel badly about who they voted for. I fucking hate all the shit that everyone says online when it's negative about either candidate. It's so stupid. Just shut up.

It's ridiculous. I agree. And, you know, we were talking about it yesterday. And it's just kind of about it's about I think I have a sort of a connection with the personality of Bernie. And I sort of he feels like somebody I know in a weird way. And I just think that new blood in the White House for me is something that I'm attracted to. I really, you know,

I've watched a lot of House of Cards. So I know a lot about the White House and how it works and how shady it is. It's a shade fest, honey. It's a shade fest. It's the shade tree. And like, it's just, it's the shade tree. The White House is the shade tree. Wow. Honestly. RIP the shade tree and like it's just it's the white house is the shade

tree wow honestly r.i.p the shade tree i guess um apparently it's an online thing and it's not so much like on the episode things like but they're not really doing a good job we're back to drag race y'all somehow got back here but listen i gotta say i went and voted it took me one fucking second yeah same also the polling place was 20 seconds down from me too so funny and also anna dresden actually um you know brought this up today online but they did not check my id me either they didn't ask me for anything they were i could have went i could have went to where you voted and said hi i'm david mazzoni and known your address and like literally written like and i could have voted for you and i think that's a problem I agree 1000% I was so shocked

by it but also like the whole like I don't know I mean part of it feels very like I mean you're in an elementary school so maybe that's why I felt it but it felt very like class like a class council like election I flat out had to ask a question

I was a little confused I didn't know know how many delegates you eligible to vote for. I didn't know. I was like, what is this? And then it was in very small font up at the top, like seven. But I did have to ask somebody, I'm like,

hi, excuse me. Um, how do I do that? I was like, I had my ballot. I only picked six. I think it was different in the districts.

Voting literacy. Oh, okay. Yeah. So, so in Brooklyn where I lived, you could do the seven and i just i i mean i voted for all the delegates that were pledged to my part i don't know any of these

people they list they list the genders of each delegate yes they did male female so interesting like why i don't know it doesn't matter what's important about that you know what i didn't think about that that's really it did say parentheses M and F next to all of their names. That is really weird. Anyway. Well, I'm not going to... I felt uncomfortable with that part because I just didn't know any of them. And I was like, I'm not just going to blindly vote here, though I did.

Well, based on who they were. So what did you just check down? I checked the people who were in line with who I supported. Yeah, yeah, of course. People who pledged for Bernie. Right, exactly. Can we get results right now um no the balance of uh polls aren't closing until like yeah there's still a little bit of time but honestly though i went to the polls and it

literally happened in three seconds and then i went to the post office around the corner and it took longer and it literally took an hour and 10 minutes to get my fucking package which i had my my turtleneck in it for amazing Earth where you're wearing turtlenecks I needed it but I just couldn't believe it I was like oh my god it made me a little nervous though I was like is no one showing up to vote or do they just have their shit together that's what I mean I breathed right in and out

there was nobody in that gym the reason why I'm not really contributing in this conversation is because I'm registered in Colorado which I think is very important as sort of the pseudo swing state. I would like to vote in Colorado for the general, but Colorado holds caucuses and not primaries. If it held a primary,

I would have been able to submit an absentee vote. But for caucuses, you have to be in a room full, like a gymnasium full of other fucking randos. Try to convince, and talk about it, and try to convince you and sway you. And I don't want to do that. Or I just didn't have the time to fly you and sway you. And I don't want to do that.

Um, or, or I just, I just, I just didn't have the time to fly home. It's not that I didn't want to, it's not that I didn't want to engage in that, but it was just like,

I didn't want to fly. I couldn't fly home. So anyway, yeah, I'm holding my tongue until the general. Well, here we go. That's,

that's, he's going to hold his tongue, bitch. And, um, and so basically now we go to almost an hour in we're gonna hit up the topic of our episode which bitch is orlando real orlando realness honey so david bowen and i talked a little bit about future vacations but it's all based on the shoulders of one of the great vacations i think of

our lifetimes truly one of the best like truly on a whim well not for us we were like david are you gonna come or not and you were you were being hesitant i just wasn't sure if like we were really doing it or not and like i was also like in a place where i was like am i just gonna just go to orlando for no reason and then i thought about it and was like fuck it i had like a week and i was like let me just go with my sisters to a theme park for four days well it was and like this is so much more we okay so we were gonna do disney world um and so we're gonna do universal well we were gonna do both yeah but then it was like this thing well we did but that wasn't what the plan was when we found out how expensive it would be to do both so matt and i were booking the vacation yeah and we're like okay so i guess let's just do disney because maybe it'll

be too expensive to do both because universal orlando's prices they were not fucking around it was like now they have harry potter and all that shit they're like jacked them up but so we were gonna do disney for days and days like four days yeah it was four nights in orlando yes which was the which was the content hashtag, that appeared from the trip. Yes. Anyway, more on that later, I guess. So then we were there and we were just truly baked the whole time because David created, I say created, these weed rice krispies.

The crispy, spooky treats. So I had acquired some butter, some weed butter, just to go back to Rhode Island. Why don't you give the recipe right here to all of our listeners? Honestly, guys, it's super fucking complex. You take a bag of marshmallows, melt them in a pan, add an entire box of Rice Krispies, and a pad of weed butter. I did actually about a full stick of weed butter. Oh, wow. No wonder.

They come in sticks just like grocery stores? Well, not really, but you sort of eyeballed it and measured it out. It was the recipe called for. How did you make the weed butter? So, the weed butter was made by somebody in my family who will remain nameless. Did he or she churn it? Well, basically, they harvested

the entire weed plant and pulled all the bud off of it that was smokable. And then there's a lot of stuff on the weed plant that's not not really like you can't really roll a blunt with it you can't really put it in a bowl but it's got thc it's covered in sticky stuff you can use it use the whole buffalo so my um not my dad but somebody i know okay fuck it it was my dad i've already said it yeah whatever i've already out of him and his criminal activities my dad doesn't have the capability of listening to a podcast anyway so who cares especially not one that's this long. Nope.

But anyway, he basically puts it in a crock pot and leaves it for like four days. All the trimmings, he purees all of it, puts it in with like pounds and pounds of butter and just lets it sit on high in a crock pot for eves. And it just drains everything out of the weed plant. And then he throws

all that stuff out and he brings the butter to New York City and gives me Tu Tupperware's full of it fascinating and you know can I say something about these treats I was where I was very concerned that I would bones very sensitive to marijuana and I was concerned that I would just be so sluggish the entire day now give you life

it was the perfect it was so it was the perfect balance between just like this euphoric sense of like wonder and happiness like oh i'm having the best time of my everything was so funny and it was everything was so funny and it was all this everything hashtag weed can i tell you something and so yeah and so we we has we quote unquote recorded this series this instagram series that like literally edited in line for thunder mountain like can i

tell you so funny matt we did not need a single fucking map matt knew the layout to every single park we were in i'm gonna out myself right now i i am an absolute monster when it comes to orlando yeah i regularly i'm like what if i just hung it all up and moved to orlando no no no honestly his ashes will be spread on the streets of orlando it's like if j-lo's getting lower to let's get loud i'm getting lower to like a dream is a wish we're gonna spread matt's ashes at the at the um what is it called phantasmic the phantasmic like spectacular which by the way we got soaked at got so wet at it like and also like you guys so it's so funny because all those rides are so great but like there's in every ride there's that

moment where like something explodes you get a little sprinkle and like but like if there's not a fire effect it's not a ride at universal now i feel like in Disney it was like whatever ride you were on it was like a magical adventure through a world and the whole time I have such a fond memory of us being on the Snow White ride and us going by at the end there's like we go through like Snow White searching for all the dwarves

and at the end it's Snow White like dancing in like the room with all of them and we were just screaming like yes Snow White well we screamed yes on every ride Space Mountain in the Dark with all of them. Yeah. And we were just screaming like, yeah, so why? Well, we screamed yes on every ride. Every ride.

Space Mountain in the dark. The three of us in that car. I've never heard you make the sounds that you made. On Space Mountain, all three of us just screamed,

yes, yes. Literally the whole time. It was that point in the night when like the people. And it's not just the three of us on it. No,

no, there's plenty of people on it. But what I loved about that was like every time we whizzed past another car i guarantee they just heard like yeah like just us just being like yeah oh my god it's so there's a photo there's a photo of me and david just sitting on big thunder mountain um the train the minecart ride and just us being so fucking blazed oh my my god. Oh, I know. I took a video. I tried to take a video of us. I was like, Bowen, we have to do this

entire ride completely deadpan. Oh, I remember when you did that. And I was sitting by myself, like, getting my life. Getting my joy. I was like, Bowen, like, completely stone-faced. We couldn't do it at the Merriman. It was just too much. It was so funny. But then when we went to Universal, it was like, every ride was like, we need your help. Yeah, I know. You're the only one who can save us. Here's was just too much it's so funny um but then when we went to universal it was like every ride was like we need your help yeah i know you're the only one here's a briefing

or it's like oh it's gonna be an experience but something just went wrong it's like oh no and you're the only one who can help us and then by the end it's like thank you patron you've done it you're literally doing the transformers right there's truly um you get it and it's like you're under attack and we're like, oh, okay. All right. All righty. Settle in.

Every ride, every ride... We're under attack. Every single attraction at Universal and Disney has a Joseph Campbell hero's journey. An arc to it, you know?

You're out of the world. You interface with the unknown and then you come back and you're stronger. I'm not even gonna lie. It's literally why I do theater and comedy. Because I was so obsessed. Oh my God. I'm not even going to lie. It's literally why I do theater and comedy. Because I was so obsessed.

I think that those theme parks are theater. Those are formative culture. I agree with you on that. When you go in and it's like the pre-show and they set you up and then you move through it. Honestly, I think it's so fucking good and smart. Imagineers, which is, they're the engineers for all these rides at Disney at least.

That's like the fancy title. Yes. It's the perfect combination of engineering, of technology, mixed with creativity. And interior design, honey. And interior design, honey. And here's the difference between, and the content at Universal,

I mean, maybe this is controversial, but it is better. I'm sure it's better. It's better. Sound off in the comments. It's much better than what you're getting at Disney, at least for now i mean they say that they're gonna have avatar land and star wars land but like it's always so far off and they've been saying that for so long i'm just over it at least universal like delivers on their promises to create new content and new experiences

but anyway like all all the attractions at universal like even the ones for like little kids are just so much better so fun and also it's just such a better vacation experience i would encourage anyone that's like trying to go down there to really to go to universal even if it's a little bit more expensive because you're able to walk huge yeah we caught that up remember we were going into the park and we were like oh so it's gonna be oh what's um oh okay it's like 390 390 dollars or whatever yeah we bought the express passes and they were like so it's gonna be be $390 or whatever. Yeah, we bought the express passes. And they were like, so it's going to be $1,000. But not by choice.

Matt was literally like, we're getting the express passes. But there was a moment where all of us were like, should we do this? But then we were like, fuck it. And we did both parks in Universal in one day. Because of Matt Rogers, he knew exactly where everything was, what the itinerary should have been, what time we should have been. What we should skip. Oh, my God.

You guys, Matt is such a resource i cannot recommend i literally if anyone if anyone wants to go i'll go with you we'll be going back i think but i think we need to bring like a full scale production crew full crew i think that like now this time now we've gone with just three of us we've been there we've done we've done it we've seen the lay of the land people have seen the fun that we've had on these trips and honestly everything there is so good and also we haven't even

talked about Harry Potter which is so fucking mad hashtag gags for Gringotts gags for Gringotts hashtag the best was when we had gotten off Gringotts

and we had done it it had been well over and we had moved on and done maybe five or six other rides and we were discussing what we thought was the best thing we had done so far

and David goes I was gagged for Gringotts I was gagged for gringotts i was gagged for no i think the quote of the vacation was you can't even get your life when you when you so we got on the we were on like the flume ride deadly do right and bowen's in his fucking poncho we were all these ponchos because we got a little bit wet and you know somebody one person on those things always gets fucking nailed yeah everyone's like kind moist, and then somebody just gets ruined. Really wet. And so it's Bowen, and he couldn't get out of his seat.

And we were just so one track and so high. And I just looked at him, and I was like, you can't even get your life. You can't even get your life. Because here's what happened. Here's what happened. Oh, my God. We were at such a point. A fug such a, we were at such a point, a fugue state.

We were in such a fugue state that all of our words, all of our sentences ended with the words, get your life. Like, like we were like, we were like, Oh, I'm hungry.

Let's go get our life. Like, do you want to get your life or get your life? I want to get my life. Okay. And we got to the point where you knew what we were saying. Like, do you want to do, do you want to do get your life or get your life? Get your life. want to get my life okay and we got to the point where you knew we were saying like do you want to do do you want to get your life or get your life get your life okay yeah

i'm trying to get my life to these chicken tenders honestly i've never eaten every chicken tender i ate in disney world i would be i want to say that it was the most chicken tenders i've ever eaten but you guys know my diet and you know that i eat a lot of chicken i ate some today yep there you go shout out to chicken tenders. Shout out to the Arby's on 8th Ave. Honestly, this podcast is sponsored by chicken tenders. Yeah, for real though at this point. Wow.

But that was, it was so fucking good and I encourage anyone to go. And literally now, you have to really convince me to go otherwise. To go elsewhere. In October, I'm going to Shanghai with my family and my sister and I. Oh, that's going to be so fun. My brother-in-law, we're going to check out Disney Shanghai,

which is the biggest theme park that has ever been built. That's going to be incredible. That's going to be amazing. I just, I have such a problem with the Walt Disney World in Orlando

because it's too fucking far to get everywhere. I remember like, it just like, it kind of sucks to have to take the buses everywhere. Yeah, yeah. Like I get that they'll be able

to do whatever they want for years to come because they have the land for it but it's really a suck when you have to wait 45 minutes to an hour to get to the park. Yeah, that is not good.

And if you want to do something else because every park has like three or four good things. Mm-hmm. Like for example, the Hollywood Studios, you got your Rockin' Roller Coaster and Tower of Terror

and then that Toy Story ride, which is pretty good. Tower of Terror, which we got stuck on, remember? Oh! That was true terror. All righty, all righty, all righty. We have to go all the way back to the beginning of this. First of all, just shout out to whoever designed the waiting area in Tower of Terror. One of my favorite things to look at.

Just love all the cobwebs, love all the things that were about to happen, but then stopped happening because of all the mystery. Beautiful set detail. Beautiful set detail. People people working there so we're waiting forever we finally get on the ride and we get up and we we blast up with like it goes up a couple of floors and there's like little pieces of the story right yeah it's essentially like it's like a haunted house until it becomes the drop tower yeah we get up to the top of it and then we're fucking stopped and it opens and then we're facing this fucking like fake set hallway and then it stops and then everyone in the i'm getting i just got chills thinking about it everyone it's pitch black everyone on the right is like oh no because they create such an atmosphere too where you're genuinely scared and we've already ridden

it maybe six times so like i know what to expect here and we're like stone and we're so high yeah and so basically like it stops and then and then suddenly like 10 minutes later the house lights come on house let's come on and then some janitor custodian dude opens a side door that's literally like on our peripheral vision it's in the it's in the scene it's in the scene and he comes and he comes out and goes, all right guys, we need to, we need to get you out. And then we're going to like walk you to this elevator, this real elevator and take you down.

And it was, the veil had been lifted. Like every, the illusion was completely shattered. Yeah. It was nuts. It was a nuts experience for sure. But we did get to go on it.

They were like, after that, everyone was like all scared. We were like, oh my God, right. It's not functioning. So scary.

And they were like, honestly, do you guys want to go again? You can hop right back on. We were like, yeah, but we had to get out into the scene which was so scary i was like oh they're gonna be a fucking ghost yeah they were like i don't want to get out where these ghosts were honestly there's a ghost there nuts but i really buy into it i honestly revert back to my seven-year-old self every time where i'm like really in it sure like i said to my sister myyear-old self every time where I'm like really in it.

Sure. Like I said to my sister, my sister and I, we went years ago and my parents would do this thing halfway through the day where they were like, we're going to go back to the pool. You guys do your thing. And my sister, who I had found out at the time was like a bigger stoner than even I was, had brought weed over in her car and we had went out and we smoked like in front of the Hard Rock Cafe. Like so paranoid looking

over our shoulders the best place to smoke because we can't get blacklisted at universal orlando i'd kill myself honestly i would so so literally like we got stoned and then i we went to poseidon's fury remember poseidon's fury of course which was like honestly pretty gay very gay very gay and like also that guy that one actor that like kind of runs the whole thing i was like honestly pretty gay. Very gay. Very gay. And like also that guy, that one actor that like kind of runs the whole thing. I was like, damn, this is like fully your show, bro. You're acting on all computers and all voiceover recordings. And doing stunts and car wheels. Doing stunts the whole gig.

Running the whole thing. And there's like a lot of fire in that one. There's a lot of dialogue, a lot of fire, a lot of water, a lot on you. There's like supporting characters. Yeah. And so basically like my sister and I were very high at it and we had obviously done it before and i i hit her shoulder and i'm like commit to the experience oh and like i wanted it to seem like you really were in the tomb like i got very like and then and then acting literally we didn't talk the whole like 15

minutes that it is and then we got out and she goes i have to sit down i feel like i'm gonna throw up and we had to go sit down because she was like i'm really really sick and she was like i'm so sorry i'm ruining this but i'm like no it's fine but really i was like you put it you put her through a meisner exercise he did yes the acting made her sick absolutely okay let's get to let's get to i don't think So, Honey. All right. So we've talked a little bit about our trip, and now we are at the segment of the show called I Don't Think So, Honey. And it's when you all, each of us, all three of us, have one minute to rail against something in culture, anything we hate.

And you get to say, I don't think so, honey. And you take it down in one minute. And Bowen is going to be first. I always go first. Because I haven't thought about something yet. What am I not liking? I'm ready to rock. All right, full.

I'll go first. He's going to have to go first. All right. As many times as you can possibly, just say the words, I don't think so, honey. Yeah, great. And a minute starts now. All right, listen.

So today I had a bunch of people at work to me. They're saying, oh, you voted. I was wearing my sticker. And I was like, yeah, of course I voted. And they were like, ugh, I don't vote. And I was like like i don't vote and i was like i don't think so honey i don't think so honey listen if you don't vote you are literally forfeiting your right to ever talk ill about the government again voting is literally a like one of the greatest privileges that we have in this country there are so many countries in this world without the ability to have any influence

on the government whatsoever and if you forfeit your right to vote, you are literally forfeiting your ability to talk or to voice any opinion about anything that happens from here on out with the country. People telling me, like, my friend, for example, Kyle, he lives in North Carolina and he's not voting. He's not sitting in his absentee ballot. And I'm like, I don't think so, honey. In North Carolina? Absolutely not, bitch. And first of all, North Carolina? I don't think so.

I don't think so, honey. I don't think so I don't think so honey no way miss please get your shit in order but listen and all I have to say is that if you are not voting and there's a reason why you're not voting I understand you might be frustrated with our government and the way that it works but the bottom line is democracy does not work if you do not vote time

one minute oh what an impressive I think an influential I don't think so honey honey, for the podcast. It's topical. And listen, I can't. And you segued into LGBT discrimination. I loved it. Wow.

What a masterful I don't think so, honey. That was very good. There could have been a couple more, but you know what? From the authority on I don't think so, honey. Absolutely. I feel honored. So now I should go is what you're saying? I can go.

I can go. Okay. Ready? All right. And a minute starts now. I don't think so, honey. People that you work with that are your peers giving you notes on how to do your job okay i don't think so honey at the at the restaurant that i work at other servers giving me notes on whether or not i rolled enough silverware worry about yourself honey i don't

think so also today i'm a tour guide on the bus and after and i you do it with one other person and i don't think so, honey. My coworker came over to me and was like, I have some timing notes for you. Bitch, this is well not my first time doing it. And I don't think so, honey, because I could give you notes, but I'm not. At this time, you're my peer at this time. And until my manager comes on the bus and gives me a note, and I feel like I did something wrong, then I'll take their note.

But you didn't hire me. You're not going to fire me. i don't think so honey you have a problem respectfully tell me what you what you think i should do and don't say so i have a note don't give me notes don't give me notes if you're if you're my peer because i might be younger than you and prettier than you but i know exactly what i'm doing bitch and i don't think so honey that's one minute Matt that is a risky I don't think so honey talking about your co-workers it has me hot oh honestly putting I'm putting the server co-workers shit on blast this episode yes I agree though like who cares like shut up because shut up okay because guess what we're giving them the experience it's not like it

doesn't be a perfect have to be a perfect thing. Okay. All right. Especially when you're working in a restaurant. Miss Yang. I guess it's Miss Yang's turn. I don't know if I'll be as impassioned as you two. Well, I guess now the bar has been set. Great. Oh, Christ.

All right. Here we go. I don't think So Honey begins now. I don't think So Honey. Noisy neighbors who throw outdoor parties on a Monday night well into 2 a.m. I had to call 911. Well, first of all, I had to look up

whether 911 or 311 was the more appropriate number to file an oil, to call an oil complaint. Definitely 311. It was definitely 311, but then for some reason, some source,

I think the NYC.gov page told me to, directed me to 911, so I called 911 and they said, 911, what's your emergency? I go, this is, I immediately led with,

this is not an emergency, but I do have an oil complaint to file. And so then the woman, the dispatcher, was very nice., this is not an emergency, but I do have a noise complaint to file. And so then the woman, the dispatcher was very nice. She said, okay, well let me transfer you to a more appropriate agency.

And I go, thank you so much. And then she, and then they told me to go to 311. I called 311. This is very lovely woman. Nicolette helped me file this, um,

this noise complaint at 497 Atlantic Avenue outside in the back patio area of a restaurant called Pardis, a Jewish eatery called Pardis. But meanwhile, and I'm not, I'm not making any connections or whatever, but like everyone at this party was, was just like,

was just very like young and hip and like ethnic. And like, it was like, wait, you guys aren't Jewish. That's one minute. And I'm sorry. Hold on.

Hold on. Hold on there. It's going to, your, your, I don't think this one is going to end on you. Jewish theory. Miss PC Bowen Yang.

Oh, God. Go ahead, finish your thought, bitch. This is my thought. I don't know what, I don't know what, I don't know what kind of parties this restaurant is hosting, but I see people, everyone in this restaurant has a yarmulke during operating business hours. Well, Passover's on the horizon. Passover's on the horizon. Passover is on the horizon. But every other night there are these like cool young people hanging out in the backyard,

just like screaming at the top of their lungs. So I don't get what I don't get what this connection is. You know what? I find that if I get like something that makes white noise, it helps me. Like sometimes I'll put my air conditioner on like fan mode. I turn on white noise. Yeah. I had a dehumidifier that I love.

Yeah. Like kind of just like it helps you tune it out. But I hear you. Also, earplugs are a real thing. My last words. I don't want noise. Yeah. I had a dehumidifier that I loved. It kind of just helps you tune it out, but I hear you. Also, earplugs are a real thing. My last words. You're not Jewish. Okay. You're not Jewish. Alright, so now we're at Culture of the Week, and this is when we appreciate culture this week.

That's really nailing it, and sometimes Bowen and I have a little bit of a common thread, but I guess we'll see. So Bowen, what's your Culture of the Week? Okay, well, honey, my culture of the week is... And I think that we've already read Disney World to filth, so I think we can go ahead and stretch the parameters to all of Orlando. Exactly. So I'm going to stretch this to actually Disney World. I know we were sort of railing against Disney World a little bit, but you know what?

And specifically the cleanliness of Disney World. Culture of the week. Culture of the week. Reminded me a lot of Chicago. Chicago, very clean. Very clean. But you know what the the and specifically the high the the cleanliness of disney world culture of the week culture of the week reminded me a lot of chicago chicago very clean very clean but you know what there have been i think think there's an urban legend that um you know there have been tests performed at disney world where someone will leave like a piece of litter on the sidewalk on the cobbles the fake cobblestone streets of Disney World. And within about two minutes, someone will have picked that up. So there are people hiding in the bushes, in the shadows,

waiting to pick up litter. And I think that is incredible. That's amazing. And actually, it bleeds into my culture of the week. What's your culture? The friendly talking garbage cans at Walt Disney World. Absolutely.

I think it's the best thing in culture this week. I think that um basically when the garbage cans are talking it's just another friendly voice in the park like an unpleasant experience made pleasant i'm sorry to interrupt this is my culture of the week dagger eyes dagger eyes god the shade in this room mate of the year anyway the j-lo stalemate has bled over into the disney stalemate at this point. All right. So I love those little garbage cans that talk,

especially when they have something nice to say, and you know at Disney World that they do. What are some nice things that a garbage can has said to you? Some nice things that the garbage can has said to me are, don't go this way. This way, some spooky happenings. And that happens right outside the haunted mansion because as you know the haunted mansion is set in like a louisiana bayou setting by your country by your

country louisiana glamour by so um i also uh any of the voices that pop out of the bushes anytime is a characterized thing that really shouldn't be a character in disney world i really appreciate that i love when you can hear a little bit of Zippy Doodah coming from a tree when you're around Splash Mountain. I think it's really amazing that friendly voices are not just relegated to human beings. Friendly voices can come out of the bush. Well, that song Zippy Doodah

is a little problematic from a problematic movie, Song of the South. You can talk about that another time. You're not Jewish. Okay, David, do you have any culture of the week? Do you have any culture of the week? Well, culture of the week as it pertains to Orlando? Anything.

It can be anything. Well, as far as like, I guess I'll keep it in the Orlando world. Okay, good. What I was thinking when we were talking was that how out of place 20, 25-year-olds are on the streets of Disney. Sure. I mean, we were stoned to shit. And I want to like really highlight that that that was a huge factor in this. But we were cussing and fussing.

And literally, I think that we got glaring looks from every single family we came in contact with. We have dirty mouths. I mean, probably if you listen to this podcast, you understood that we have dirty mouths. But we really do have filthy, dirty mouths. Some of the stuff we were saying. And it's the best culture of this week. I would agree. I would agree. 25-year-olds in Disney. Incredible culture. Incredible. Filthy, dirty stuff. We were saying, and it's the best culture of this week. I would agree. I would agree.

25 year olds in Disney, but incredible culture. Incredible. All right, guys. Well, this has been lost culture. He's just huge.

Thanks to our guests, David Mazzone. I mean, we just really enjoyed this and we, we needed to have you on. Come see pop roulette. I mean, yes.

Final plug. Come see all three of us in pop roulette. Amazing earth, along with Douglas Wydick, along with Rachel Winitsky, Amanda Sheckman, Tessa Scara, and special guest who's performing in a special capacity, Sudi Green. The one and only. The one and only.

So we're off to go do Sudi's show theme party, but this has been Las Coturistas. Ding dong. Ding dong. Ding ding. Thank you so much. We love you. Love you. This has been a Forever Dog production.

Executive produced by Joe Cilio, Alex Ramsey, and Brett Bohm. For more podcasts, please visit foreverdogproductions.com. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home, and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. I'm Julian Edelman.

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