Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - “Overclocked: Clock Clock Clock” (w/ George Civeris + Sam Taggart)

Episode Date: March 18, 2026

Four gay guys, having finally had it, go dark woke and throw neck in this episode of Las Culturistas, the sister podcast of the iconic StraightioLab. Its hosts, George Civeris and Sam Taggart, join Matt + Bowen to form a cornucopia of homosexual men who throw prayers up for Beyoncé’s highly anticipated Linkin Park era in a very “they would all be doing Best Week Ever back in the day” way. They clock each other on their social media, the times they’ve publicly cried at events, and original radical optimism opinions. How much do they love Audrey Hobert? It’s in here. Lady Gaga’s potential next film? Well-researched theories are explored. And there are games! Play Haim Lick and consider Lizzo’s Pass along with the crew at home, or wherever you listen to podcasts!  Watch George’s special A Sense of Urgency on Apple and Amazon, see Sam’s upcoming shows in LA on March 24th and April 1st, and stream Haim!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Oh I see Wow, my eye oh my Oh my look over there Wow, is that culture Yes Oh my goodness wow Las Culturistas Ding dong

Los Colteristas calling What were you just talking about? I was talking about something that we came up with last week at your birthday dinner. And then you said, I likely don't remember from being wine drunk.

Because we were. Excuse me. Is it a crime to be wine drunk at your... Matt, innocent. Matt innocent? Well, here... Print the shirts.

This is an ear hit test. Ready? Matt, you were wine drunk versus Matt, you were drunk. Wine drunk sounds sweeter, more wholesome, more fun. Sounds like more like inoffensive. That's what I'm saying.

Well, there's layers of misogyny. Thank God. Towards wine. moms? Yes. Have you not seen the yelling blonde woman? You'll have to be more specific. She says, she says,

no more IDF money in politics. Oh, oh, yeah. Oh my gosh. She's had it. She has had it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She said, and I agree, that the title,

Wine Mom is a bit misogynist. Are you talking about Jennifer Welch? Yes. Yes. Okay, great, great. Now, now go. Now go. And she said, because there was notes of misogyny in that.

She says, first of all, mentioning wine, notes of misogyny off the bat. Even ordering a wine. And the misogyny's in the legs, too. Misogyny's in the legs. Look at the legs on her. Uh-oh. So wine, she said, you know, she's being called a wine mom.

That's misogynistic. But then she also said the following, which I found very interesting. She said, but even though I know it's misogynistic, I think me pointing that out only alienates people because it makes them think they can't, like, say anything. You know, it's sort of is promoting this kind of like language policing. So she says, I know it's misogynistic, but it's okay. I'm not going to correct them. That's like that's one slide. Dark woke.

We're dark woke. We're dark woke. Yeah, y'all dark woke. The four of us are very like that with gay. Totally. We know it's homophobic, but we're not going to please. Let it fly. Let it fly.

Grow up. Grow up. The way they drag our girl, Buttigieg. The way that they're out there dragging our president. No. We just let it slide. But know that in our group there were all, we all just, in parentheses, type to each other

holding y'all's hands today. Do you think if Buttigieg was on I've had it, the podcast? She would do amazingly well. It's I've had it. I've had it. And you called her the screaming blonde woman, which is its own note of massage.

I think that's more of a literal description. Which I wasn't willing to let's slide. I just want to say I'm on board with her. I'm deeply on board with her. Her voice is always at a pretty reasonable level. Now here's my challenge to her. What if the other co-host speaks? Now that's a really great point.

That would be a really interesting. I was noticing that. I was like, you do lead the charge. It's Princess Aisha. Yeah. It's that Dubai girl who is just talking and then it always cuts to her friend who just is silent. My greatest fear as a podcaster is that our podcast will be George talking and me going, mm. Sort of Sophia Grace and Rosie Coder.

Whereas that's me. Whereas that's me at the Eagle Bear Knight of Sam just talking and me going, Yeah, you don't do well A bear night, George. Shut up. Oh, yeah. Get his ass. Finally.

Wait, what were you saying? Go back to what you saying? What happened to dinner? What does Matt not remember when he was blackout? He was not, he was wine blackout. The throw neck challenge is basically to see who can just do the best sort of like pantomime of oral sex. Whoa. I realized that my pantomime, this is not the way it usually goes when I'm out here performing the act.

But my pantomime is a lot in the shoulders. Would you like to see me throw? Yes. I think everyone was. I'm so happy this is being filmed. Podcast being a visual media. Exactly. Because you'd never get this back in the day in 2016, 2017.

Oh, God, no. Here we go. Oh. Well, this is it just like a Beyonce. Well, yeah. She was the best. She was. What happened to her?

She was great. I missed her. I do. No. Okay. Are she all going around? Well, she's back. Actually, you find out that it's on this episode.

She announces Act 3. And were the ones? We've been assigned. She was like, I just know. Announce the official spokespeople announcing Act 3 on Las Colteresa. No, but that wasn't good throwing neck. I was trying to perform for you guys. Well, you're doing comedic.

You did comedic. You did comedic. The throwneck challenge can be any interpretation of throwing. Sam, why don't you show your throwing neck? I'll go. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. That was more of a crazy jackoff.

Well, that's what we were doing at the table. I have a crazy. I have a crazy Jackalph one that I think is funny. Okay. This is what I say it is when you're trying to, when you're begging for a cum. You go, you go, ooh, the lips. It's in the lips. Ooh.

It's very disgusting. I'm not hearing, I'm not hearing the, the begging. No, because it goes, give me your cum. Ooh. You guys get it. Yeah, I have picked up on, ooh, being a sound. Being the grape stop lady. Yeah, yeah, well, yes, support.

Yeah. I think that's where all these gay guys got the idea. Was Grape Stomp Lady? They all watched Graeme Stap Lady and we're like, I'm taking that to the bedroom. Okay, George. Go ahead. Don't act for us. That really used a picture.

I saw the terror. No, and I wanted to do, it's like, you know, it's like scared. Yeah. Scared. You know, that's a big part of giving oral sex. I think people don't talk about it enough. To be clear, that wasn't me giving oral sex. That was my impression of someone who's a loser giving oral sex.

That was very, like, you could see that they were standing. Yeah, yeah. That was interesting. That was interesting. I was thinking about the rest of the scene, unlike some people who are more just sort of like doing choreo. Doing Beyonce. I was just trying to show Beyonce that I'm available for her Act 3 World Tour because I can stand in the back and sort of. So is act three like rock and roll?

Yes. That's what the buzz is. The rumor. It should be like Lincoln Park type. That would be fun. Evanescence. Evanescence. She should actually do Evanescence.

I would love that. That's rock and roll. Period. That's rock and roll. The toss of the head. Like, he was like a best week ever talking head. Hey, and that's rock and roll. And that's rock and the four of us would all be doing best week ever back in the day.

I'm still waiting for the call, by the way. Oh, man. I already, you know, Sam, well, should we get into it? No. Oh, one time we were asked to do, what was it? It was a reboot of, like, celebrity homes. The Fables of the Rich and the Famous. Yeah, basically.

But it was like a real, like, it was like a pilot, like, they were like, we're giving you zero dollars and we are actually doing it not to like critique the celebrities but actually like celebrate wealth. And we were like incredible. We were like, where do I sign? We were like, so this doesn't sound like particularly good. Like if we're not

like, it's not like an amazing time. You're not dragging them and just being like I, we all remember where we were when we find out how rich Kylie Jenner was and can I say honey we love it. Go off Sam Altman. It was it was basically that. It was that. Yeah, but then ironically, speaking

income and equality, we were being offered approximately $150. Total. Yeah. Total. And now look. And then they yelled at us. Well, we yelled at them, too. Well, as long as it's mutual.

Yeah, well, there has to be a little. So was full-blown yelling or was it past an aggressive? Let's just say we were on a conference call and I hung up. This has never happened in our eyes ever. How did you feel right after? I felt amazing. I felt electric. Did this happen?

This is amazing. Oh, I'm so. I really like, honestly, I'm so proud to know you. Honestly, I channeled my inner Jennifer Welch. I said, this is not what the future of the Democratic Party is going to look like. Me and Sam being paid $150 to celebrate Kylie Jenner. And I just go, hmm. You are being the girl.

I was being the girl. You're being the girl. These are the girls. They're doing their show at the Bell House tonight on the day this taping. It's tonight and it's sold out. So you guys, please. And this is coming on the 16th. On the, on the, on the, this is coming out on the seven.

This is coming out next week. This is coming out next week. Their show was great. Sam Taggart's doing an hour at Union Hall on March 18th. Yeah. L.A. March 24th, April 1st. I can't believe you just remember that stuff. Wow.

How do you do that? That's, um, who sings that song? Sounds like an FCA Twigs. No, how do you do it? No. Empress up. Empress up. You're getting your girls confused.

You know, I've seen her live three times. Empress of? Yes. Empress of. One year her song was my number one on Spotify. Really? That year was this. Gay.

This was the Blood Orange. It was Blood Orange featuring Empress. Yes. You know what I'm talking about. Oh, this would be the best thing. Yeah. Great, great. Oh, man, I miss.

Lorelai is her name. Lorelai. Rodriguez. They're her name. Lorelai Rodriguez. You guys are like fact often. About, about women. Yeah.

Jennifer Welch. Welch. Welch. Welch. Welch. Welch. We met. We met them at the Glad of Awards.

They were lovely. They're great. Well, obviously. You're so afraid I'm going to say something negative about them. No, no, no. But that's why we brought you guys in to say everything we can. To rebut. Yeah.

They host, frankly, the Superior Podcast, Radio Lab. The Crown Jewel. Superior. Tell me. Speak for yourself. I'm over here carrying still. Carrying still. We're going to go, we're going to say, we're going to go by alphabetical last and

first names, frankly. Everyone, please welcome. George Severus and Sam Taggart. Wow. What an honor and a pleasure to be back. Go ahead. The podcast has begun. It's begun.

Actually, I have a special out. George has his special out. And it's on Amazon and Apple, and it's called The Sense of Urgency. It's really good. Thank you. I'm on Instagram. How proud did you feel and try not to

cry when you saw the special? I said, God, this is a beautiful special. Yeah. No, it was really impressive. Beautiful. doing it too. Beautiful man. Gorgeous, stunning. You know, a whole hour is not easy. Not easy. And to make it funny

the whole time? We filmed it over 15 months and I did one minute at a time and then we stood all together. Very quibby. Very quibby. I was going to say, Quibby link later. Quibby link later. That's the title of later.

Quibby link later title of that was the craziest shit I've ever heard. I was going to say the boys' throw neck. Could be. How often are you guys? You guys are both in You're both married. You're both married up. Like straight up wedded.

So how much do you throw neck? Don't. No, don't tell me don't. Don't tell me don't. Plenty. This is not a question you can have. He said a plenty. How often are we throwing neck?

This is insane. You can't out. This is insane. I'm sorry. I didn't know the pearls were available to clock. What? the hardest part of stand-up, the standing or the upping?

Wouldn't you rather just lay down and throw next? I don't know what you guys are trying to do to us. What's better? Sucking cock or standing up? I don't know what Reddit comments said that you guys aren't alt enough anymore and so you're trying to out-alt us. No one ever said that. Who's saying this? Oh my God.

We are a family-friendly podcast for only married white gay guys. Family-friendly. We have a... We had Jesse Tyler Ferguson. We had Jesse Tyler Ferguson on. Have you guys had Jesse Tyler and family? We really feel like you guys kind of ran the whole gamut of gay guy between perfume genius and Jesse Tyler.

Thank you for acknowledging that because those came out in a row and we said one end is, and I say this with respect to both of them. Oh, yeah, absolutely. One end is perfume genius. One end is Jesse Tyler Ferguson. And right in the middle, Jordan Sam. Listen, I think what people are forgetting to say is that being a gay guy is a cornucopia. And we need all different fruits, vegetables in that beautiful... Sort of horn.

Yeah, that's what it is, right? A horn? The horn of plenty. Yeah. What's going on your phone? I'm getting a FaceTime. I'm getting a FaceTime video call from Jared Frieder. FaceTime from George Santos. Face it from George Santos.

You guys should have him on. I agree. 100%. You guys would tear it up. I mean... No? We can't have it on. I think you guys, because you're scared you'll be charmed.

No, because we're scared we'll throw neck with him. You guys... Which Republican do you guys think is the hottest, go? Which Republican do I think is the hottest? And you can't say Lindsay Graham. No, and I can't. I do think of ladybugs a lot. You know the...

Yes, yes, yes. Oh. Gosh. Hottest Republican? What's the lore of the ladybugs? Back when Lady G was a thing. Oh. Yeah, we explain.

And Ladybugs are his. Ladybugs, the ladybug phrase refers to a rumor that was, when it first was rumored that, that, you know, Lady G was a thing, aka Lindsay Graham being on the gay apps and everything. Ladybugs referred to a series of beauty marks or birth marks around Lindsay Graham's. I'm so sorry to say it, but whole. Oh, and he would say, he would say to the gay men. that he'd have sex with, don't mind my ladybugs. No. We have different news sources, but I like theirs better.

What's your... Where did you think ladybugs? Matt, I read that on Al Jazeera, by the way. I work for Al Jazeera. I was just sort of like... You'll do a warm-up comedy for the main late night show. So what you're going to see today night? You just heard ladybugs as...

I was just sort of... I thought it was like maybe his boys or something. That's what I thought. Yeah, his ladybugs. No, no. Don't mind my lady. Don't do my lady. At least he's proud.

At least he's allegedly. I mean, it's so, like, realistic. It's so believable. It's, like, so tough. I don't think anyone out here is like, oh, yeah, that's just a rumor about Lindsay Graham. I think everyone knows he's gay. Yes. Yeah.

But the ladybook story feels very sex in the city. Yeah. It's a bit too punchy. It's a bit too punchy. Yeah, it's a little bit, um, remember the, we all remember the episode of Sex in the City where Miranda was dating a guy who wanted him who wanted her to eat his ass didn't we do that for broad gay? I think we did.

We did do that for broad gay but then that shot is so funny because the guy just kept hiking his butt up into the frame in a really funny way and then Carrie has a great line which was so the reason they were dating is because they had bonded through food or something. Miranda dated an overeater and then he overreater

Oh my God I don't know Carrie I don't like again and I remember I'll never forget to it was one of the few times This is my impression of Michael Patrick King after he wrote that. Yes. It was one of the few times

that Carrie made a joke like that and then, whether it was Sarah Jessica Parker and they just used it or Carrie herself, laughed so hard at her own joke. Yeah. She was like,

and then he overayed her and she went, and then they just cut to the rest of the scene. And I was like, I would love to know how that felt on that. I bet it was so fun. Yeah, it was incredible. You know what came up on my internet

the other day was some, Chris Noth sat down for interview with someone just like going in going off on SJP or whatever yeah recently like about and and then like I just peaked at the comments don't know why I thought it would be a good idea

but it was all these people and like I guess women but maybe bots just being like or women bots sorry and thank you bots can be women yeah yeah yeah um wine bots let's just say his bots is women too all of them being like so glad so glad he's telling his side of the story cancel culture is terrible we've we shouldn't

damning these people. And I was like, this, no, it's not that we cancelled him, it's that five different people came, like, came forward with sexual assault allegations. Yeah. And you're like, this is, is this, like, this is where we're at. Anyway, not to bring the whole room down, but. Yeah, so what do you think about YouTube? It just feels

so, like, we, like, it's, haven't done enough. Totally. Totally. Otherwise, I think it's not too far. I think that's a dialogue. I think cancel culture is back. And do you? You know, it is back, but only on threads. I have not on threads And I've not touched it

I've heard threads is the absolute Demon's layer There's no sense of community on threads It's not like how Twitter was fun back in the day No it's like they're doing I was saying this to Sam the other day They're doing like cancel culture Like a cancel culture drag show

No one's heart is in it but they're sort of like Okay who are we gonna do today Totally totally you know let's do that That kid from Glee like just they pick a random person They're like look what he said in 2015 And then that's that's what happened every day. But it's like a shortening of the cycle. But I just hate the fucking thing.

So on threads, you can, like, people can, like, invisible ink their own words. And I'm not sure for what purpose other than, like, you have to engage on another level. And it's like, you're not being, like, provocative or even that fun with, like, what you're... It really feels like late stage social media. Oh, yeah. No, absolutely.

Damn. How many more years of social media do you think we have? Ooh. I'm, like, three. I think we're over-clocked. I think we're over-clocked. I think everyone's clock each other's tea so hard on social media that we're overclocked. Maybe that's the title of that.

Overclock. Okay. Sips tea. This is overclock. I hate getting tea at Starbucks. They always overclock it. Hey, and I know you in particular love to clock my tea. I do have to clock your tea.

Actually, I was thinking something. I was clocking your tea on my way here. I said, this is going to be the first event with Met where he's not crying in approximately six months. Oh my God. You clocked my tea! That was you overclocked his tea. Wait, because I cried the other night at Ars Nova.

I cried at Joel's wedding. I cried at his wedding. I cry at everything. Stop overclocking my friend's crying. I'm on Lexapro again and I've cried so much already this year. My SSRIs aren't doing anything. I'm still crying. I'm more emotional than I used to be.

Here's the thing. Oh, they're making you cry more. No, no, no. They're making me cry like a reasonable amount where it used to be unreasonable. Oh. Of course I knew on my way to your wedding. I was like, I'm going to cry. You were so sweet at Joel's wedding because it was like, there should have been a camera

just on you. Yeah, MacCam. And just, it's like the emotional journey rather than seeing the two men get married, just seeing your reaction. And trust me, I know that that is at risk for what happened because when I'm crying, I'm usually kind of the only one or I'll start. And then I'll be like, well, now I'm crying and it's like a thing. And also, we were in this wedding. So we were in the front know, so we're getting the pictures back, and it's like, everyone looking at, like, Joel and J.M. Like, wow. And it's me just like head and hands. Like, I'm, like, processing a grief in real time. Yeah. It's aspirational, though. Like, yeah. I agree. I'm jealous of it. To, to, um, prop up erstwhile king, Dan Cook had a pretty good stand-up joke where he, it's, like, you, it's like,

you cry and you, like, go immediately to the mirror. Yeah. You're like, I have to watch myself. Oh, my God. When I cry, I do do the, like, take out my phone and, like, try to take a picture. Yeah. Like, I'm like, I'm really doing it. I'm having a feeling. Yeah, that's called going Rachel Senate mode. Yeah, 100%. But, yeah, no, I'd be crying.

I only cry, like, in movies. I'm like, I haven't cried in real life in so long. Did you cry at your own wedding? I teared up. But I was also, like, you know, when you're... I did tear up, but I was also... I held it together. And I specifically, like, rehearsed my vows enough times

where I was like, I can do this. Yeah. And you're on display. It's like you just don't want to... You feel comfortable crying in a movie because no one's... Exactly. Overclocking you. Yeah, no one's overclocking you.

Did you cry at yours? I teared up. Yeah. I think we both teared up and equal. Yeah, very tasteful amounts of teard. And we were thinking about each other, not about our husbands. Yeah. And we were just thinking about the photos coming back.

The one that got away. You're just thinking, I wish this was my podcast partner. I know. And I wish I heart was officiating. Yeah. I wish the CEO of IHeart was officiating my wedding instead of my stupid aunt. ate her. She was iconic.

She ate. She was incredible. She actually was just texting her because we're doing Greek Easter together. And I'm like, best decision we ever made getting her to officiate. Yes. Yeah. Are you guys at that stage now where people, like even your guests let's there asking you like, you guys ever hook up?

It's like about us? Yes. Because each other? This is a thing that we have been dealing with. They've been doing it more for us lately. Really? Like I don't know what it is. But like I feel like we've been asked.

in the last year, probably about five or six times in like a public way. So what if you, what's going on? Have you guys ever kissed or like, what's happening here? We're like, you know? And they're like, really? I thought all gay guys and like, we're, that's not what they're saying, but I think that's like the implicit.

Your guests are saying this. Well, there's a lot of hints of misogyny. Come on. Come on. Come on. No, like, J-Lo asked us. J-Lo asked us. Well, that's like comments.

Yes, yes, yes. That's funny. I've had so many dreams about J-Lo that I, like, legitimately. What are your dreams? I don't even remember, but she's, like, a recurring character in my dreams. Like, it'll just be, like, I'm looking for a roommate and it's J-Lo, or, like, I'm, like, going to, like, a coffee shop and she's there. Well, having met her, we actually were saying, we think that she would be really close with George.

Yeah. You would get along great. I mean, about their personalities would link up. Yeah. They're both very grounded, talented, driven. Driven. Oh. Great taste in film. Great, amazing, like, cinefiles.

Yeah. You know, loves a celebration. Both her and I love New Year's Eve. I will say that. She performed at Vegas in New Year's Eve. That's how much she loved it. She said, I want to give and give and give. Mixing the business with pleasure.

That's tough. And gives she does. Celebrate your pride with the station that's as bold, vibrant, and diverse as you are. I heart pride, Kinda. From dance anthems to pop icons and hits from 2S LGBTQ plus Canadian artists. It's the soundtrack that keeps life loud and proud. Just ask your smart speaker to play IHeart Pride Canada. Stream us on your phone.

Or listen now at iHeartRadio.ca. Come together, celebrate love. Pride. And feel it all year long. Let's go. With IHeart Pride Canada. In the middle of the night, Sasquia awoke in a haze. Her husband, Mike, was on his laptop.

What was on his screen would change Saskia's life forever. I said, I need you to tell me exactly what you're doing. And immediately, the mask came off. You're supposed to be safe. That's your home. That's your husband. To keep this secret for so many years, he's like a seasoned pro. This is a story about the end of a marriage.

But it's also the story of one woman who was done living in the dark. You're a dangerous person who prays on vulnerable and trusting things. people. You're creditor Michael Leavengood. Listen to Betrayal Season 5 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Come check this. IHeard and TikTok have come together to create something new. I love it. Where the world of TikTok meets your playlist.

Three words that will change your life. IHeart TikTok Radio. The biggest hits across IHeart Radio. What's trending for you on TikTok? Tell me a sound that's better than this. I heart TikTok radio. Plus TikTok's most influential creators all in one place.

Search for IHeart TikTok Radio. Make it a preset and stay connected all day. A ambitious, well-intentioned, ferocious and wealthy. Mother looks like in the black community. This moment's history month, the podcast, Keep It Posit, Sweetie, celebrates the power of women choosing healing, purpose, and faith, even when life gets messy. Love, it's not a destination. You have to work on it every day.

Keep It Posit, Sweetie. create space for honest conversations on self-worth, love, growth, and navigating life with grace and grid led by women who uplift, inspire, and tell the truth out loud. I have several conversations with God, and I know why. It took 20 years. To hear these and more, listen to Keep It Pies Sweetie on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. What was your favorite New Year's? What was my favorite New Year's ever?

Sam and I had a good one But Maggie Winters was here Like a couple weeks ago Our Chicago one Our Chicago one was crazy That was so crazy 2013 Oh I was a bad girl that night

You were back Well we all were But that's the only New Year's I've had Where like I'm out on the street And people are throwing up Yeah Everywhere you saw No Chicago is like not chill

When it comes to drinking But even like I felt myself like You know that It was like when you're in a dream and you can't see all the way in front of you. Like, I've never been this level of drunk before or after. And I was like, like, I could only see the sidewalk and I would look up, but it was, couldn't see anything. And I felt like I was like one of the ones that had it together.

Yeah. And was J-Lo in that dream. And so J-Lo was in that dream, which was in reality in Chicago in 2013. Yeah. She was like, Sam, get up, baby. We still have some more night to party. We're going to Scarlet, Mama. We're going to Scarlet.

Do you remember when she was on Will & Grace? No. Yes, of course. So she has a multi-episode arc on Will & Grace and is so funny and it's so good at making fun of herself. She like makes fun of her divorces and whatever. And one of the storylines is that Karen writes a song called FYI I Hurt 2, a pop song and then J-Lose steals it. That's perfect. FYI I-Hurt 2.

So funny. That's a hit. So funny. No, that's literally. That was ahead of their time too because now every pop star single is like, FYI, I heard too. No, that's literally That's all lowercase, like, B-TW, I'm sad. I'll, you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Remember when Britney Spears was on Will & Grace? Yes, and she played a right-wing... Tom Teter who's secretly lesbian. I'm a hardcore lesbian. I'm a hardcore lesbian. Remember Madonna, who played Karen's roommate? No.

That's right. A lot of people don't remember that. But it happened. I'm not sure whether or not to feel like competitive over the fact that people want you guys to kiss and they don't care that we don't have a romance. They think of us as more family values because we're married. I'm serious.

You're publicly married and like- We're very publicly married. And Sam is also very publicly into bears. That's true. Yeah. But you're just thinking like why- I have become more bear-like, I would say. But go ahead.

You've gone, you've become more bear-like? Yeah, I've just, I've, I'm not saying this as a. You've been up in a gym and we see it. You're feeling it. I'm not saying like I'm, oh, shocks. But I'm larger now than I was when we first. start of the podcast.

I'm embracing it. Taking it more space. I would like to write a song inspired by that. By me embracing. I'm growing. I'm larger now. I'm growing larger now. FYI, I'm larger now.

FYI. I am growing larger is a song I'm in right. I'm growing larger. I am growing larger. Wow. In fact, that might be the title of the whole album. It does feel a bit erection coded. Yeah.

There's so many ways you could go with it. That's why I like it as a concept album. I am growing larger. Well, in what ways you'll find 12 and 2 bonus. Oh, interesting. Oh. Wow. Oh, you see, Matt always comes up with legitimately incredible concepts for his album.

No, I think that's an amazing concept. For his albums, there's one. Each song is a different. One song is potentially Pinocchio knows growing larger. It's about you lying, like learning not to lie. Yeah. Well, I do tell Boen Yang about all my concept albums and my albums that come up in my head. And is that post-coitus?

Post-court. Yeah, after we fuck. After we have sex, I put my cigarette out on him. He doesn't move it on. He's thinking about doing a concept record. And he says brilliant. Wow. I think you should legitimately pursue this. I am on vacation.

The concept album is being on vacation. There was... The title is I am on vacation. It's called I am on vacation. That's sort of what radical optimism was about. Yes. That's true. I was ahead of my time on that one as well.

People give me such guff for saying that it's my favorite duelipa album. I love radical optimism. It's so fucking good. First of all, radical optimism is great. And here's what I would say. Looking back, do I think it's going to hold the cultural place of future nostalgia? No, of course. But I think to say that radical optimism is like a flop era for hers.

No, no, no, no. People are short-sighted. People are short-sighted. We're going to look back on it very soon. I would say in the next few months, hopefully. It's actually a great album. Well, congrats to Houdini, who joined the Billions Club on Spotify. It did.

Did you? Congrats to Houdini. Girl, you joined the billions club. And you have four gay guys. I know we were all streaming Houdini. I'm shooting it left and right. Did you see what I did to doolipa? What did you do to her?

I got a notification. This sounds like I'm making it up. I got a notification that a comment of mine was liked. And the comment was that a week before that notification, I had commented on a photo of Dua Lipa. You are absolutely killing it, Miss Chica. And I love it. looked up when that day was and it was when I was really jet lagged when I had just arrived in London and I do I now have sort of formed a memory of it and I do think I

remember being in my hotel room and commenting it but I semi I semi asleep commented on a carousel of Dua you are absolutely killing it miss Chica that's actually Ruralo Culture number eight Doolipa you are absolutely killing it Miss Chica something about being in London sort of bleary-eyed exactly You just do things that you're like You go into a dissociative state You can post anything you want from Europe It's actually real culture number 10

You can post anything you want in Europe I was doing fit check from Cannes Don't think I forgot I knew you were clocking my tea at home too Oh by the way, am I ever not? No, I literally sometimes You know I'm printing out every story of Matt's putting it on a board Terry Matheson style

I'm drawing connection George will hate this But I know you love it And sometimes I'll just text him a period Just so he knows I'm watching Speaking about Miss Chiques and pop stars, and this is pertinent to you. Wait, clog me or gag me, it's still an obsession.

Are you quoting what your face? Love me or hate me, it's still an obsession. Love me, I hate me still an obsession. Lady sovereign. Lady sovereign is a recurring motif in Sam's work as a comedian. Lady sovereign, it looked like she was going the distance. Well, I actually am obsessed with that concept. Because sometimes when I really hate something, I'm like,

give me one year, this will be my favorite thing. Like, I'm like, they are the same feeling. Oh, me and Audrey Hobart. Me and Audrey Hobart. You were not, you clocked her T negative, not law of sorry. We were gagging upon her. Exactly. We clocked her T, cut two, three months later.

We're gagging harder than anyone has been. Absolutely. I woke up one day and I was like, I need this more than anything on her. She's a musical genius. And I could not stop listening to it. Absolutely. Sue me, you want to keep listening. Literally.

Nice. She clocked. Thursday. is it's like that is having a crush it is the er having a crush

song I've never heard anything like it literally I can't remember the exact lyrics but it's like I literally used to watch the news

and now I take photos of myself oh my god genius no she's amazing she's amazing yeah I don't even take photos

of myself but I used to watch the news and I don't anymore and the song The Chateau is great yes and what's the

what's the song of the bowling alley I love bowling alley Phoebe. Go ahead. Sorry. No, no, no, no, no. So you guys just, it just clicked one day. Both of you at the same time? Around the same time.

Incredible. So you, that is like hooking up in a way. And that's intimacy. What is your most intimate moment? Wait, this is an amazing question. And it can be emotional intimacy. I'm not asking as in like a disgusting way. You're desperate for us to have sex. No, I'm actually not. I think. I mean, we do like jerk off together.

We're not Christian. Like five-year-olds. It became a joke. You guys all noticed that it became a joke I asked what's your most intimate moment together Title of app, it became a joke It became a joke Another tip see they really are They really are

Do we have an intimate moment I guess not What is our most intimate moment Make eye contact when you ask This is not My earnest response to me Is it's not a moment But there are times when it sinks up

And this can happen both on stage Or off stage And it feels like we are sharing a brain and it's like even when we're like on tour together and we're like planning our day I sometimes I think this is the way twins are where it's like I'll sometimes be like I know

what Sam is in the mood for. I don't even have to be in the same room as him I know he's going to be you know in a good mood in a cranky mood hungry like wanting to exercise and I think that's the no I love when we're on tour it is like we're like a couple yeah

and in a nice way except non-sexual like a couple yeah so it's sort of of exactly like a couple. We're kind of like a married couple. We're kind of like a married couple in that. We know exactly what each other is thinking and never fuck. I like it too. I like when we're like, okay, like we'll get breakfast together and then it'll be like,

okay, well, you know, maybe let's text in like an hour or two. And I know when we say that it means we won't see each other until like an hour before the show. The latest news in the industry. Oh, I love this. Is that Lady Gaga is in talks to. Star in the Perfect Blue Adaptation directed by Darren Aronofsky. I don't know how real it can be.

It's on Vanity Fair. Our friend Chris Murphy wrote it. Really? Did you say perfect blue sound? No. Oh, perfect blue is a genius. I just watched it. You just watched it.

Well, I was texting about this because I just watched it and I looked, I was like I need to hear, I need to read and listen to things about this. And so on my podcast app, I searched Perfect Blue. First thing that comes up, Bowen Yang on Blank Check. Yes. I said I'm going to have to hit plan. that three and a half million hour episode. They let the cameras roll.

They really like the cameras roll. I don't remember much of that. You were great. Okay, great. That's all the matter. Well, he loves the wine drunk. Well, he loves the film. He loves the film.

It's one of my, it's my favorite movie. I think it's a very Sam film. It's so you, it's crazy. You know what it is? It's Lady Gaga fame as a prison. What, so tell me, what's the, okay, so it's a movie that, I'm, okay, if I ever dwindle, like, y'all step in. Okay.

If I ever dwindle, y'all step in. It's true culture number 50. If I ever dwindle, y'all step in. That's friendship. Yeah. That's what the four of us have. Okay, so it's basically, it came out in like 90, by 96. Okay.

Super prescient. It's this girl who, her name is, um, Mima, and she was in a little pop trio, and then she leaves the trio in order to pursue an acting career on a television show. But then, like, some of her fans, and one kind of, Shocking presence in particular is like angry about that. She wants to keep her sort of in Amber in this girl group as a pop star. But she's like, I'm an actress now. Then her manager gives her a computer as a gift that's hooked up to the internet.

95. She's on. And she boots up the computer. And then like all of a sudden she like sees a website, like a blog essentially, like diary entries written as her, but like in great detail about her life and her day, like on set. Like was on set today, did this. She was like, how does this know? Keep in mind, this is mid-90s.

Yes. Pre-blogs, pre-Gocker. Pre-Gawker. The peak. And the Renaissance, I mean, of Gawker. But then she, thank you. Basically, she, like, it's fully dissociative.

It's this, like, psychological thriller where, like, she's being chased by her own, like, presence. Like, someone is, like, really, like, I don't know, like, stalking her. And it ends in, like, horror. Like, help me, help me. It manifests as like another her that's like born from the internet. There's like another creation. She can't really decide or delineate whether it's something that's in her mind or whether it's an actual like embodied thing that has somehow been created from this nasty dark image of her on the internet.

And she, her reality shatters because she's unable to be like, I'm me, that's that. I can register reality. It's like about it's about becoming crazy from. reading the comments basically. But also what's also prescient about it, which you mentioned, I think, on this podcast episode, is she's not a huge star. She's not Madonna in the movie.

She's actually kind of like a small, she's almost like a creator. Like she's like a czar orson. So, which I also think is, because it's like predicting this era where like the internet is a bunch of microcelebrities and all of them are going insane. Fully adieu style to bring it back to Gaga.

years ago. And so very Black Swan, right? Well, literally Darren Anatovsky copied it for Black Swan. So then when Black Swan comes out, everyone's like, hey, you copied Perfect Blue. He's like, no, I'm influenced by. And then now it's very full circle that he's doing it. And who, what's

the other person that fully copied? The Paprika is very Christopher Nolan, is a very inception. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So anyway, what do we think about Gaga? It's basically mayhem. It's basically the mayhem. I mean, I of course celebrate. Okay. I think I think anything she's in, I will celebrate.

That's the thing is it's like it's going to be whatever it is. You could put her in a movie I would never see. I saw Joker too. Like, I am there. I have no take on her besides because they take as always, well, I will be obsessed with us. No, it's like I can't be a journalist when it comes to Lady Gaga because I'm biased. Exactly. So I recuse myself.

I recuse myself. Not participating fully. I have an idea that I have been thinking about that I think could. really change things around for Miss Lady Gaga. Go ahead. I love this. I think she should play Mary Todd. Yeah, I mean, this is like... But I think I'm not kidding.

I know and I, I'm with you. There's nothing more I would want than that. Like I just said, it doesn't matter what she's doing. I'm going to be upset. It's now running through... I'm not trying to tear her down. I'm not trying to tear her down. You don't think it would be a smashing success?

I think it would be a success. You don't think she has a comedic timing. You don't think O'Mary is at her level of sort of cultural relevance and... I mean, that's the thing. It is the number one theater property. That's true.

It has absolutely come for Hamilton. Yeah, it has come for Hamilton. Oh, Mary has come for Hamilton. Knock, knock, knock. Clock, clock, clock. Clock, clock.

Title of that clock, clock, clock. Because guess what? If you told me a year ago, if you had told me a year ago, it was Maya Rudolph, I would have said, no, she's too famous to do it or whatever. Like, I just think it's only going to keep

getting more prestige until it's Michelle Obama. Well, you know who was fully gonna do it and talked about it on this podcast was Jennifer Lawrence. Oh, that'd be fun. She was gonna do it and it didn't work out. And then we had heard of rumor that Anne Hathaway was supposed to go in as close first replacement. The people that they're talking to are on this level.

Yeah. As we know, I mean... That's why like it doesn't really bump at all. No, I wasn't saying that as a joke. It's not like her level that's bumping me. Yeah. It's more like the silliness. Okay.

You don't think she's silly? I think she... Oh, you don't think she's silly. Oh, my God. Of course I think she's silly. It's just like... But at the same time... Sam didn't understand

the camp element of a star is born. Oh, my God. I think she is... And you thought House of Gucci was a grounded drama. No. He said, that accent works. To be fair,

that accent did work. Hold on. I also think it was... It's not to take out the trash. It's everyone else's accent that didn't work. Sure. Well, that is true. Adam Triver.

Well, no, my favorite performance from the movie is, of course, say it with me. Salma Hayek. Oh, of course. Salma Hayek. She is one of our greats. Yes. There's no disputing it. I was recently rewatching the Third Rock episode she's in where she goes, she's like

wearing a t-shirt that says something funny. And she's like, don't let my silly t-shirt distract from something serious I'm about to say. What? Perfect. Silly t-shirt, distract from something. 30 Rock used to be the O'Mary where they would really bring in these

A-list women It's like take me back I actually I've been out of 30 Rock kick again Like I've been mainlining it It's been really nice It's been nice You forget You forget you're like oh wow

It actually can just be jokes It can It can We're so far away from that now as a culture When was the last time you heard a joke You know what though You know what actually I do laugh at

It was Donald Trump becoming president. Oh, George. He took it there. Dark woke. This podcast went dark woke today. God, it's so scary. Get me Gavin Newsom. Yeah.

Get me, Gavin Newsom. You know, Djibuki and I coined a new term today. What you say? What is it? It's called Gavin Newsome Comedy. Do you want to hear what it is? Yeah, please. It is comedy, and I'll tell you who we're referring to off mic.

It is comedy that takes, Las Colch. It is comedy that takes the worst. parts of alt comedy and the worst parts of club comedy and combines it. Oh, God. Could you show us an example? Yeah, I would love an example. I think I know. I'm just saying that's what Gavin Yusam is doing with like taking the worst parts of liberal

and worst parts of conservative. I was like, you're giving him too much credit. No, no, he's not doing comedy. No, no. He would be a great Mary Todd, but he is not doing comedy. I'm saying the metaphor for this kind of comedy is Gavin Yusam. I think he's just trying to make everything culturally normal. Yeah, yeah, because that's what we have to do.

We should have to be culturally normal. And then we'll all be fine. Wait, wait. Lindsay Graham, Mary, Todd, when? Oh! Lindsay Graham, Sam, this is huge. You, okay, and I, you have to take this as a compliment.

Uh-oh. You are already an amazing casting brain. You know what I mean? And they just out of the casting Oscar. And they just out of the casting Oscar. You've always been a casting director. They should give me the Oscar. Yeah.

They should give you the Oscar. But Sam would always like, connect the perfect dots when we were doing shows together, I feel. Well, that's, I'm going to take it as a compliment. Yeah. In addition to all your other skills. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Excuse me, don't raise your voice on my co-host. Yeah, you're being the yelling lady. Wait, you guys said you guys brought something for us. Oh, well, first I was going to say something about casting. Okay. Very quickly. We were talking about, because we're doing a bunch of records while we're here. We're doing a bunch of records while we're here.

And we were talking about who we should book. And George was like, who's in the theater? Who's in the theater? And I was like, hmm, who do I have like a complicated relationship? Who do I want to explore my complicated relationship with? And George is like, this is the exact difference between the two of us in booking people. You want confrontation. I always want, not confrontation, but like.

Edge. Resolve. Something. I want a like, this was weird 10 years ago. Sam's catchphrases. Not even like weird bad. Like you were rude to me.

But like, it can be like, like, I sent you this email that I was embarrassed about. Can you talk about it? I want a little bit of tension and resolve on the podcast. It's very real housewife of you. Yes. Yes. Well, you know, I mean, case. Point.

Point. Match point. Game set match. Next question. Case point is one of our early very fuzzy episodes and that it was listened to by multiple vulture staff writers.

They forgot who we are. It was when we had Jeremy O'Harris on and Jeremy was actually Sam's high school bully and they literally like We made up. Made up on mic. Yes. Oh my gosh.

This is the difference between you do. And are we allowed to know who in the theater we figured out or no? No, I was just like, I'm always like, how can we, you know, we love obviously having comedians on and that's her bread and butter, but I'm always like, I want every six, seven episodes to have someone out of the box. Like I had Alison Roman or when we, you know, and I was like, okay, who is like someone in the, like I want to have Sandra Bernhardt on.

Yes. Yeah, well, she said no. She said no. Off camera. That to me feels like she is like, too cool to do any podcast. No, no, no. She was, she's currently not doing podcasts. And I just want to say, if she does Coltrice does that, that's because she has changed her mind about podcasts, not because you got her and made it. Of course, of course. No, 100%. They brought something for

us to guys. No, you don't want to. And I just got to say this is going to make an amazing social clip. That's what podcast on. Social arm. We have a few things, a sort of a few terms we've invented on our podcast, a few games, a few like recurring motifs, if you will. And, and, and, And we wanted to kind of... It's a way to make sense of the world. It's a way to make sense of the world. We love kind of like theorizing and putting things into categories and boxes.

And so we wanted to bring some of them to you guys so they can reach a wider audience and I think it could really benefit both of us. Okay, great. We would love to be your mule. I would say we're on board. Do you want to do Lizzo or Haim first? Well...

Oh, we might have to start with Haim. Okay. Okay. Let's talk about it. Lizzo. Lizzo. Okay, great. Celebrate your pride

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Pride. Feel it all year long. With IHart Pride Canada. In the middle of the night, Saskia awoke in a haze. Her husband, Mike, was on his laptop. What was on his screen would change Saskia's life forever. I said, I need you to tell me exactly what you're doing.

And immediately, the mask came off. You're supposed to be safe. That's your home. That's your husband. To keep this secret for so many years, He's like a seasoned pro. This is a story about the end of a marriage, but it's also the story of one woman

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Tell me a sound that's better than this. I heart TikTok radio. Plus TikTok's most influential creators all in one place. Search for IHard TikTok radio. Make it a preset and stay connected all day. A ambitious, well-intentioned, ferocious, and wealthy mother looks like in the black community. This Woman's History Month, the podcast Keep It Posit, Sweetie, celebrates the power of women choosing healing, purpose, and faith, even when life gets messy. Love is not a destination.

You have to work on it every day. Keep It Posit, Sweetie creates space for honest conversations on self-worth, love, growth, and navigating life with grace and grid, led by women who uplift, inspire, and tell the truth out loud. I have several conversations with God, and I know why it took 20 years. To hear these in more, listen to Keep It Paz's Sweetie on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. So the first one is this game that we do where we put things that are... It's Marrakeel, but you guys assign it to the Heim Sisters. Yes, so it's the Heim Sisters. It's called either Heim Game or Heimlich, depending on our mood.

And we give you three things. and you have to choose which one of them is Danielle, which one of them is Esty, and which one of them is Alana. Now, for anyone who's not familiar with the personalities of the Heim sisters, yes, break it down. No, no, no, let them do it first. No, no, no, I want to hear George's... I think I mean...

I want them to get creative with that. And then can we hear your sort of delineation? Okay, great. Maybe we'll do, like, a couple without any context, and then I will... Yes. Okay, perfect. So how about this? Let's start big.

Gaga, Taylor, Beyonce. Mm-hmm. Which one is Alana Heim? Which one is Daniel Heim? Oh, so... Okay. Okay. So I think that S.D.

Heim is Taylor Swift. Uh-huh. I think that Danielleheim is Beyonce. And I think that Alanaheim is Gaga. And the way that I could break that down is that Gaga and Alana both have not only promising film careers, but like already proven, like, arguably, like potentially equally talented in this pursuit as the other. I would say that Danielleheim is the Beyonce because it's kind of like when you line all three

up, it's like, well, well, you know, there's your front woman. I do believe that there's a, there's like a certain like front woman glow there. And then I think Esty and Taylor, I think, I think, I think just like, no, what I think is like creative backbone. I actually think like, I think artistic pursuit drives. And also, I do think cool girl vibes. I think you're going to see them at the cool restaurant. Cool girl vibes, sort of social chair, sort of like the great sort of connector of all these

different things. Yeah, we're leaving arm in arm from via karate. And everyone else that we're talking about is like not necessarily doing that. Right. Yeah. Okay. Okay. That's good.

Okay. We'll do one more and then we'll get into it. Okay. Okay. For Bowen, Charmander, Bulbosaur, squirdle. Oh, thank you. Oh, my God. That's so amazing.

I'm going to start with Squirtle as Esty, playful, bubbly. Yes. Bulbosaur is Alana. No. I think Bobesore is Alana. Blasaurus is a lot of grounded, slow to blossom. But then, Venusaur. Big flower.

Big flower. Venusaur and Pocopia, the new hit Pokemon game, the personality that they assigned to Venusaur, because they can talk because you play as a ditto, transforming as a human being. And so, Venusaur's personality is calling you Deary. Hi, Deary. It's so cute.

Which, that feels very Alana. And then I guess Charmander, Danielle, like, ultimately a fire yeah the rocker the rocker the rocker the rocker girl yeah Charmilian with the Lincoln Park Evanness

and also like ultimately the Charzard hologram card was the one that was like yeah that's the one you want that's the one if you want one card it's that one it's that one if you're lucky to get it

because that's the thing too is Danielle is elusive like Charzard well I've seen her like 15 times in Los Feliz while I've been in New York How many times have you seen Esti? I've never spotted. I've never spotted SD. You've seen the other two?

You've never spotted Esti? I've only spotted Danielle. Danielle's part-time job that she does for supplemental income is being spotted. It's being spotted. Danielle's job? Yeah. Interesting. I would think, see, I feel like the bit that people do about Haim is that like Esty and Alana are like the girls of L.A., they're out.

And like, I feel like Danielle is the one that's a little bit more like. I'm in the studio. I might make it. But she's at the restaurant with the producer chatting about the next project. She's going to the trendy restaurants and she's with a guy who's like, you know, he's like 45 years old wearing Chuck Taylor's and like a leather jacket and a side word beanie. I got to say we've met them now a couple of times. It's like talking to y'all. We love them.

We're not. Well, we're based on them. So which one of you is who? Let's do this game for y'all. So I, so here's, I'll say sort of our interpretation of the hymns and then you can fill in the, fill in the blanks. To me, Danielle, they each represent a different archetype. Danielle, the CEO. Alana the ingenue.

Yes. And Esty, the comedian. Yes. So when we saw Heim in at Barclays, I want to say. NSG, Ernest Her Garden, excuse me. The Barclays of Manhattan. The Barclays of Manhattan. when Esty at some point was sort of like,

and now this is the Esty section of the concert, she did a full 25-minute stand-up set, and that led into her song. Yeah. Whereas, so that's kind of her talent. Danielle's talent is being kind of like the brains behind the operation. And then Alana, of course, she's winning Oscars. She's wearing a wig in one battle after another.

Yes. And she's, and she is the young one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now, what was your... Now, you were going to say this for after. Yes.

What is your sort of... Was that just it? Like, the way you just described all three of them? Was that what you're going to say? I think those are the archetypes. Do you have anything great to add? Yeah, it's like the ingenue, the comedian and the CEO. That's great.

Okay, so knowing this. Yes. Do we stand by what we've said? I think so. And I have... And we can do like one more if you are. No, we like this. And then as a duo, we'll build together this last time.

Okay. Would you like to ask one of these? So consider it. of each other. Okay, okay. It's intimate what just happened. I like this one. I know.

Okay, let's do Martini Manhattan Nogroni. Oh, that's great. Martini Manhattan Nogroni. So we're both martini gays. We love Nogonis, though. Honey, we just love drinks. So, well, I mean,

two of the drinks we really love, and I don't want this to correlate to a value of vines. If it's easier we could do white red rosé. Whoa. Is it easier? But that feels like a color gradient that I feel like it makes it. It makes...

I'm uncomfortable. I'm really uncomfortable. Can we cut that? I have one. I have one for the, for Martini, Manhattan. Okay. And then I'll do red, white, orange. I'm going to start with Esty again.

S.D. is going to be martini. Yep. Really? Cheek, sort of like... A little dirty. Out of the town. I love that.

Even though we've said... Yeah, and we've said S.D. is out of the town. The martini is being held and spilling. Yeah, it's sloshing a bit. Very esty. That's fun. I'm going to say Manhattan is Alana, not necessarily the girl that you think of when you think of firsthand, like the Heim sort of trinary, turnary. But Alana, once you see her on her own, you're like, yes.

Like, she's isolated in different sort of reliefs. Completely. Like, yes. And then, um, Nogroni, like brooding, textured, earthy,

Danielle. Wow. That was beautiful. That was really amazing. For many of the same reasons, I was going to say that red wine is Danielle. Like, I agree.

It's robust. Red wine could not be more Danielle. Yeah, I mean, it expands as you, as you interact with it. Yes. White wine

is Alanaheim. Yeah. White wine is Alanaheim. Fun. Because there's something and you know what? It's a little bit like, like toss some club soda in there. Literally.

You know what I'm making a spritzer. That's nice. Suddenly it's, it's fun in a new way. Yeah. And the orange wine is Esty. Rose. Oh,

but Rose and orange wine. Rose and orange are both. I actually had orange wine two nights ago and loved the way I look, I guarantee it, because it was a little bit like organic. And the, the, the waitress was like,

oh, not a lot of people are into this one, but the people that are are fucking obsessed. So Esty is like kombucha wine fully. She's like, there's sediment in there. It's fizzy. Yeah, I think you taste it

and you're like, oh. Yeah. Yeah, we're going to keep going. Yeah, you're saying, I did not expect that

that's what that would taste like. Yeah. But we'll take a bottle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's nice. And I would say the best, we all know the best thing with all these cocktails

is to mix them up in one big bowl and just slurp it up like, yeah, four straws. Yeah, exactly. Oh, wait a minute. Clock 13. We should do this.

We're getting scorpion bowls. When are we getting scorpion balls? Wait, so when Sarah Sherman was here like a month ago, we were like on the pot, we were like, let's get martinis. And then they got us martinis. I'm not going to make anybody do that now, but that would be so fun if we just sit. That would be so fun. Can I ask the question, did we start this at two? Yeah.

Wait, what time is it? What time is it? Three. How the fuck is that? No, we came in a little late, right, Becca? Yeah. Why do you think time flies when you're having fun? Clock it?

Clock it. Clock it. Clock it was a question. It wasn't a clock slash statement. A clock is a statement. And it's also known as a muster. I thought you were doing like, a Kiki is a party.

Pop Rulet did what's have a Kiki last year is one of our sketches. You just did the songs? Remember that? Last year? No, Poverlis. You said last year. You said last year.

I was like, I did not know you were still of Poprulet. Isn't it crazy? Sometimes you say words that you have no idea you said. Yeah, yeah. And I'm like, what? And then, like, sometimes I'll listen back to this for edit. That's the plot of perfect blue. I'm like, what am I saying about?

That's an amazing defense for the next time you say something really offensive. Rats, missed my window. What is Lizzo? Okay, so we want to tell you about Lizzo's pass, which as a- I love Lizzo's past. You played this. Okay. Well, and it's less than we gave more of just a concept.

I just want to explain it to you. Here's the thing, Lizzo's pass. No one can get upset about what is discussed when it comes to Lizzo. Pass because we all, you made the choice. Oh my God, it's not offensive. No. Both have value. It's an observation.

It's an examination. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But just, just for the, yeah, for everybody. For everyone out there trying to make something out of nothing, let's do it. So Lizzo's Pass is when an artist gets to a certain point in their career. They're cool. They're underground. They're growing.

They're growing. They're gigantic. And it's like, what do you do next? Yes. And there's a narrow little path and you either go to Target or you go to pitchfork. Yes. And we were saying this is sort of where like, Chapel Rhone is.

She's at Lizzo's past. Yeah, she's at Lizzo's past. And I just want to say, you know, people forget, because this is Sam's concept. And he always, he always told me, people forget that Lizzo, because we are so used to her being this huge star. She started like indie rock, evident essence. And not only India, but like Minneapolis, like Prince and Doris Car, Rada. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, she was like a cool. If you look up old articles about Lizzo, it's like, meet the punk rock body positive rapper that shaking up the Midwest. She did one show in Brooklyn that was like the meanest gay guys all went to it. And we're like, this rocks. Yep. And it's like, and that won't happen now. No.

And she, and so she, and again, I say this with nothing but respect, she chose Target. She chose, she's like, I'm going to do, you know, I'm going to go for the moms. Yeah. Right. She, you know, who else chose Target? Pink. Like, back in the day. And I, you know, if she had chosen page for her, she would not be co-hosting for Kelly Clarkson.

Right, right. And these are choices that happen. choices that have happened. Now, the issue is, of course, there are some exceptions where someone can choose Target, then backtrack and go pitchfork. Yeah, right. In my dream of dreams, that is what that is what I am doing. Because I feel like I've inadvertently chose Target. Now I'm like, oh, wait, no, no, no, no, I don't want this. You know what I mean? Well, I think it's pretty easy to choose Target when you realize what choosing Target means, which means you're going to be financially set up. You're seeing dollar signs.

Exactly. And I think Chapel, I think Chapel's past to Lizzo's past. Well, it's complicated. She is a really weird one. She's a weird. She's like slowly walking away from Lizzo's past, but it's like hard, it's like snowy and it's hard to see which way she's going. I think she's that she's on, I think she's going to pitchfork. I think a lot of people are pushing Chapel towards Target, but I think that like even if they really all, all hands on deck at a meeting with Chapel present, we're like, hey, guys, look me in the eyes. Yeah. We're choosing Target. she can't choose target

No I think what happened She's too She's too I think your point is She's something genius Which is that they're pushing They're trying to make her go target

And she's pushing against it The wind is blowing her to target And she's saying no I'm gonna wear the nipple piercing dress To the award show And she's flat out here like Hey I'm leaving the Wasserman agency This is a decision

I will choose to make a wave In this way That's going to make people uncomfortable Again and again and again That person cannot They cannot stay at that Yeah

You know what I think happened? I think there was one summer where Chapel accidentally was pushed to Target and then to quote Sam, she was like, this is gauche and then took the steps back and went back to the vast and was like, I'm actually going to pick it. It's like Charlie XX for H&M.

People were like confused by that. And then it's like, well, when you get to this level, like there's going to be some interaction with Target. Like when you get to a certain point, like you can't, it's weird because is it easier to be doomed in one? I don't know. Do you think anyone's doomed in pitchfork?

Yeah, because ultimately then they're always going to think, it's like what Charlie has always said, like commercial success, commercial success, it always eluded her and also therefore tormented her even someone as cool as her who had a mansion in pitchfork land. Yeah.

Do you think, you know who chose pitchfork? She was a bunch of mansions in Pittsburgh land. She was a professor at pitchfork you. She essentially had the nicest, coziest, most tenured. spot in pitchfork land that you really could get. But Charlie is a case in someone who has been, who stayed at Lizzo Point despite other people trying to push her.

Completely. Because she would do the one for me, one for them thing for years until Brad, which was supposed to be the pitchfork thing, but then it fully pushed her to talk. Brad is like the pitchfork stand inside the target. It's like, there's a little pitchfork capsule collection. And it's Charlie being like, do you want the tank top?

Yeah. She also made art about being at, Lizzo's pass. Yeah, I know. Which I guess makes her y'all's favorite pop star outside of Lady Gaga. I mean, she's up there for me for sure. Same.

I mean, Charlie, it's like, that's like my family member. Yeah. When you've been there from the beginning, she could come out and make like the like just the fart sounds album and I'd be like, you know, there's something to it. I was in the shower and like tracks from like XX.

The unreleased tracks kept out. I was like, TKO and like, can you hear me or whatever? And I was like, oh, a taxi. I was just like, oh, this used to be Charlie, which is,

I'm saying, I'm saying that can coexist with it. The first time I ever saw Charlie Live was at the Chipotle Heritage Festival in San Francisco, California. And I want to say, this is easily a fact-check-

And that's a crazy mix. I'm confused. It was like, so this was, imagine like, peak millennial hipster food truck era. And that was, you know what I mean?

It was the place to be. Exactly. So it was a place to be. Of course there's going to be a Chipotle Heritage Festival that has a performance from Charlie XXX where she does, where she does,

debuts her song for The Fault and Our Stars. Wow. Which was Boom Clap. Boom Clap. Charlie XX performing boom clap at the Chipotle Heritage Festival in San Francisco. Yeah. That's when I said, I'm going to be an artist. Funny, I have to be.

I have a question. Podcast or to podcaster. Yeah, sure. Okay, I figured out the complicated relationship I want on Tangle. Okay, with us? Sort of. It's not that personal. Well, yeah.

When you guys, like, talk to, like, somebody. who you look up to a lot and you're like, you've been standing forever. And who you like feel like you, do you feel like it to be normal? We try and then we fail. How do you do it? Because when we talk to people,

sometimes I see myself, like, if I don't, if I'm not personally friends with them, I immediately just turn into like the most, like, like, so is it hard acting? I actually think we do a pretty good job. I think we do a great job.

Of, of like, trying to talk to them like they're human beings because it's just more fun to listen to. Yeah. But it is. hard when you meet this person for the very first time in a situation like this to not be like a little effusive or a little stanish because you do have that type of adoration for that person. And that tends to be how we treat anyone who comes here anyway.

Right. Right. You're not doing like dead pan like Adam Friedland. No. No. You're already, it's a positive. environment. So, which feels, I don't know, normal or whatever, but like, it's the same thing with like small talk where it's like, this is, this is what you do. It's small talk is for strangers.

It's for you to suss out safety. And if you want to keep advancing this conversation or this relationship or whatever, it's, it's fawning and standing for like a pop star or an actor or whatever or like some public figure that like is big. We're just like, this is for both of us a way to like suss out how we want to advance this conversation. Right. Yeah. It's okay. It's like we're not going to break the seal and go in like coming on and be like so like what was like throw neck challenge? Like we're not going to do

that with them. Sometimes we could though. Yeah but you know what you get sometimes we randomly do. That's true. It gets there with some people like we talked to Kate Blanchett about like what goes down at Bergkine and stuff like that. She talked about like certain things we never would have expected from her. I will say like sometimes a publicist will say in advance like

hey like don't touch on this this and this and I'll look at the things that they're that they're that they're warning against us talking about and I'm like in what world what I want to bring this up I notice I noticed you have spoken to your sister in seven years I want to ask you about that on camera

like no I want to like basically tickle each other with words yeah oh okay and also enough for nothing but it's it's it's kind of worked so why would we You know what I mean? But people get like emotional and I don't know, not emotional.

People just feel a certain way whenever we like talk to effusively to people. And it's like, sure, but this is, you would do the same thing. Well, I immediately like when we had like Jesse Tether Ferguson on, like I was like this is going to be so like, because we talk about liking modern family a lot. But it does come from a place of like when we were in our 20s, we were like, fuck this show. And then we like are gay right now. We love this show. Yeah. And it's like.

But I'm like, I'm even afraid to say that. So the question, like, in my mind, I have this really complex emotional question. And then it comes out as like, so you're on modern. Yeah. And it's like not, there's no bite or edge to it. It's like, he's just like, yep, it was a good show. And I'm like, totally. Yeah.

But we've all worked in scenarios professionally where we've had to like approach like, quote unquote talent or like, you know, a celebrity or something for like a comedy show or like a TV show. We're like, okay, so these are your jokes. This is what we've written for you. like there's just that part is removed and instead the thing that we're presenting to them is thank you for being on our program and like this is this is what we have to offer you because you came here for a reason and we're here for like it's a mutually beneficial exchange of something. I don't know. It's fine. Yeah. People are smarter I think than to. Then sometimes like you might think they're going to be coming in. It's like when a certain celebrity comes in and they're like an A-list

star, they probably know the bit about them. You know what I mean? I think you guys could have had Jesse Tyler Ferguson come in or anyone come in and be like, so you know that you're so mainstream gay famous. That certain gay men feel a certain way about it. You do become a little bit of like a projection punchline. It's like if he doesn't know that, then that would be weird. You know what I mean?

I think we all are like experiencing some. level of like what it means to be than a gay that gets to be the one where the things get projected onto. Sure, sure, sure. And so everyone, any media literate or internet literate person understands this. And maybe they've been dying to talk about like, hey, yeah, it feels this way, that way, or another way about, like, just by existing as a gay guy and the public guy, it feels this way.

Might not be a particularly interesting conversation, but it is something. When Marybeth and I were doing the, when I was helping Marybeth through the red carpet, it. The first person she spoke to at the Golden Globes was Dylan Ephron. And we hadn't prepared for him and so we didn't have anything ready. And I went up to her and I was like ask him if he has any siblings. Just say

do you have any siblings? And she asked him and he didn't get the bit. There is video footage of this. It's not. But it was, I was like, this, to me, this is the perfect celebrity interaction. Is Mary Beth asking, do you have any siblings? And Dylan Ephron being like, oh, yeah.

I have a sister and a brother. And then Marybeth goes, and this was improvised. She goes, oh, that, Ephron. That's so funny. My favorite things growing up, like, when I watched any type of celebrity interview, were, like, I loved, like, between two ferns. Oh, my God. I loved, like, when people would come in.

Sometimes I do feel, like, a world where we could have just set up a thing that was more abjected. I know. But the fact is, and this is okay to say, the fact is, when you really drill us down to who we are, that's not who we are. No. Like, we are a little bit more earnest than that. I would become exhausted pretending to just neg someone all the time and then have everyone think my personality was just that different from what it is. I don't know how I feel is. But I think, I understand what you're saying, but I do think as someone who has worked with you, you do have, if you can access that edge very,

easily. You just don't want that to be your defining quality. Yeah, I, I, well, yes. I guess that's what I'm saying is, like, that's the reason why I sometimes I'm annoyed about it, because some of the time I do feel I, I would be more comfortable slash get away with more. Yeah. If I just done that. God forbid, kindness wins. But, you know, but also, then there's like another side joke, which is like, yeah, I kind of do, I'm crying at a wedding. She remember when Zach Gaffanakis asked Natalie Portman So for Vee for Vendetta you shaved your head

Did you also shave your V for vagina? That's I do remember that Shout out Talk about notes of massage Your V for vagina Unsung here and all the between two ferns was The woman kind of like walking all the guests off

Just being like Yeah Like a six foot tall woman Just like angling her face away from the camera on it. Just like always like taking up like Sally Field and like telling her to walk this way. It's, oh, I miss the show.

Wait, hold on. So you guys are kind of at Lizzo's Pass. We, well, certainly, you know, interestingly, perfume genius and Jesse Tyler Ferguson is literally like, we are at Lizzo's past. It's like, do you choose perfume genius or do you choose Jesse Tyler Ferguson? Yeah. Like, it couldn't be more queer. You guys are so, I think you guys will, without even intention, go towards pitchfork.

Yeah. That's just, I feel like that is, and I think, I want to say, Sam is very good at keeping us pitchfork. Sometimes I get carried away, we'll get like a request for a guest

and I'll just be like, no name, let's do, like, yes, like that'll... Call in the Sex and the City movie because he gets carried away. Yeah. I do get carried away. I was going to call you that too.

I do get carried away. Yeah. Oh my God. But we, that's the, that's the balance. That's the balance. Because some, like, I, yeah, sometimes I, well, I also literally, the moment I'm looking at someone's eyes, I'm like, I don't know your name, I don't know what you're in, I don't know what songs are saying.

Like, really hard. Like, when you said my dates, I was like, I don't know my dates. Like, that's crazy. That's out the ear. I don't even know that I can't tell you the dates now. Wow. I held on to it for the time that I had to. That is amazing.

Like, I keep saying Jesse Tyler Ferguson. I'm like, that is his name, right? Like, I forget stuff. Like, well, he. This is another element of I think. It's like when you do get pitched a certain name for the podcast, it is also like, it's not just, of course we're thinking about it like an episode of the show, but it's also like, do I want to hang out with that person?

Completely. And then sometimes it's like, oh, I don't think I'd ever get an opportunity if it wasn't this and hang out with that person and meet that person and ask them questions. So of course we're going to say yes to it. Yeah. But like how did you guys. Is this going to be a good hang? Good hang.

Which was the original name of our podcast. She sued us for it. She sued us for it. She's so awful in person. Why did she sue you if it was your original? She sued me. She sued me because I wrote Baby Mama. And then she fully copped the...

I had a meeting with her. And she said, I hate this idea. You're a complete flop. She called me a lot of homophobic slurs. And then next morning I saw in Variety she was developing a film called Baby Mama with someone named Tina Fey. So messed up.

Yeah. This is when you were really on variety, really on the trades. Yes. In 2006. Yeah. That was when they were the best. They were the best then.

Oh my God. The trades. Take me back to the good trades. Variety spring 2006. Oh, honey, you know the photo shoot. I have it framed in my bathroom. Wait, what was I going to say? Um, um, um, um, um, um, it was a period.

There was a period of time where like I was being sent a lot of magazines because I, I guess I signed it for like the ones online. And so I was getting the physical coffees. And I walked, I had them all on my, um, on my coffee table in L.A. And Joel walks in and he goes, it's like ICM in here. Bunny. Oh, funny. Oh, my God.

Wow. I think it's time. Maybe time. What? You're right. You're right. No, you're right. No, you're right.

No, you're right. I'm happy to keep going. No, no. Lena Dunham's coming. We get it. Can we say something? When she arriving? She's getting her at four.

We started four 30. But the thing about four, I don't think so honey is there's four of them. And they always, as Beyonce once said, start all this conversation. So when a lot of people get so upset when they hear it's time, because they think, oh, my God, the podcast is ending. But really, you know what it means? It just means the appetizer has hit the table, babe. And now we can start eating, which is what this segment is all about. Eating something up in culture for 60 seconds.

I just say I love Amy Poehler And if anyone takes that clip out of context I'm suing You know who's gonna take that out of context Amy Poehler No I love She's gonna sue your ass again This is the only person

I introduced myself to In the entire Golden Globes I think she was a little I think I scared her a little bit No no I literally I did She was the only person

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It's time. I already set up the segment if you don't know, and now you know again. It's I don't think so, honey. All right, I'm ready. Here we go. This is,

you're going to start, I assume? Yeah. This is Matt Rogers as I don't think so, honey. And his time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Without fail, there's a fake spring. There's a four or five day period where they're like, oh, my God, everyone's dressing horrible again in the streets.

And by horrible, I mean, I see you gay guys with those shorts. Yes, you know the one that are too short and too tight. And you whip them out and you can see them all around the city from approximately February 28th to March 7th 8th. There's always without fail a period where you think the groundhog done became a slut. And got out his slutty shorts for himself. But the fact is you're going to get to something like March 11th, 12, 13th, and it's roaring back. In like a lion out like a lamb. Honey, this lion, lamb, she has a lot of questions about her identity.

March, she is experimenting, babe. And she will continue to experiment. You will never know what she's really like. Stay in the house. It's not spring yet. It won't be spring until April 30th. And then it will be summer on May 4th. This is the way it goes.

I don't think so, honey, anything else. Wow. Incredible. Really beautiful. I think I... What else? How else was it good? I just have to say that, you know, as someone that has been living in LA for the last two years, it's like so nice to be like caring about the weather.

Shut up. No, I and thank you for saying shut up because I keep feeling, I keep talking to people and like can feel the LA stink on me. And I'm like, I've lived here for so long, like in New York. You like it better now there. No, don't say things like that. No, don't say things like that. It's just a trade-off.

Okay, I'm Heim sisters, Chicago, New York, L.A. Okay, well... This is tough. I think Esty is Chicago because she's down to have some actual fucking fun. Second City trained. Second City trained. She will riff like no one else can.

I think Danielle is New York because she's tough. She's tough and a rocker. Yeah. Linda Rock. And she's in the film. She's in movie style. I agree.

That's amazing. I mean, how could you disagree with that? I mean, it was crazy. I was like in Los Angeles. Right. Yeah. And they're all from California. Okay.

Oh, I think I saw a rompim in Hell's Kitchen when I was when I was in TV. Like, do they still make those? No. That is not okay. I think it was like, or is it? Oh. Have we horseshoe theoryed on rompims? I ordered one blue striped one.

Rom-Pim during, you guessed it, the pandemic, and well past the... Hi, that was already too late. Trust me, I know. I've put it on and I was like, oh, God. Well, anyway, that was beautiful. If Rom-Pim will come back ironically, that's kind of fun. There's something to it. I think so.

A rom-pim? I don't know. Who could bring a rom-pim back? Harry-Styleys. Harry-Sty. I do like his fashion. No, it's fun. He's in ties.

I like it. Yeah. I like the tie thing. Okay. All right. You ready for? for your, I don't think so many time. Yes, and it actually

kind of dovetails right off of what we just spoke about. Okay, this is Vohen Yangs. I don't think so funny is time starts now. I don't think so honey. Merry fuck kill. I think let's expand. Wow. It shouldn't be a trinary.

How about Mary fuck ghost? Yes, like talk to at a wedding and maybe hook up. Oh, fuck. Fuck. That's already. That's already. Oh, that's fuck. No, no, but sort of the seduction.

Oh, seduce and then um. seduce and then, you know, pay for dinner, but then second-guess are your second sending mixed signals. I don't know. I think we can just, we can always expand sort of the sort of matrix of choice here. That's it.

I don't really have any sort of fiery take on. I just, I think everyone's open to this idea. I don't think anyone's going to push back. Unless you like the simplicity of Mary Fuck Kill. You can't do this with like the Heim sisters necessarily, right? You can't, you know, that is an elegant sort of decision tree. Like, it's only three choices. You can't have more.

But, you know, Mary, Fuck Kill, there are so many more things you can do within, just in life, plant a tree with the thing, with the concept. And that's one minute. And here's my question for you. Are you Sabrina Carpenter? Because that was short and sweet. Oh. George. You know what?

We're going to do it. And this is going to be the last Mary Fuck Kill, at least ever on this podcast. And maybe ever. Merry Fuck Kill. The Heim sisters. No. What a gorgeous. You know, we've planned, we scripted out our entire appearance here

so that we would not offend any of the high sisters. We scripted it out! And I think we've done a really good job. Even when we're describing them, obviously. Then you know what? Let's do it, Bo and Yang style. Merry, fuck, talk to at a wedding, and just hook up. Just kiss.

Okay. No insertion. I like that. And there's still really good things about that because you actually have a conversation with the person you remember it finally, whereas with fucking it's just sex. And it's not hierarchical. at all. Those are all, those all live very horizontally. I have it.

Go ahead. Go ahead. Okay. I want to marry Alana. Yeah. I just think we could build a beautiful life together. Yep. You guys have the same sense of humor. Yeah. Yeah. I want to, um, I want to talk at a wedding and kiss Danielle. Yeah. I just feel like at a wedding. Like, it'd be so fun. Yeah. And it's like, so what's music like? And she's like, and what's, what do you do? And then you guys make out of them?

And then we make out and it's like, that was fun actually. I didn't think I didn't have fun at this one. That's this one. Someone gets invited to a lot of weddings. And then fuck Esty. And then fuck Esty because you know we're having a fucking blast. We're in the hotel room. We're getting kicked out.

Yeah. It's going to be crazy, man. You're doing that thing where one person gets on the other and takes a bottle of like whiskey and pours it on their chest and like licks it off. You know what Esty is doing? You know what Estee is a comedian is doing? She's coming. She is Abby Jacobson style coming out with a giant strap-off.

Yes. She's pegged. And she goes Let's peg That's S-D That is S-D That's awesome And you're like, girl, what?

And she goes Dude, dude, I'm just kidding. Are you fucking kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me? I'm just kidding. We're watching Bridget Jones, bitch And then you watch Bridget Jones, bitch. And then you watch Bridget Jones

And then you're so excited That she meant a new one. You were hoping she had to see it. Oh my God, it was good actually I didn't need to see it. I haven't seen anything. No, actually. That's good.

It's good. You don't expect the turns it takes. Oh, I can't wait. And Renee? turns a performance. Shout out. One of the greats. Oh, I don't think so, honey, quickly.

I thought with Renee, we learned not to comment on people's faces with the whole Jim Carrey thing. I'm like, everybody stopped. The Jim Carrey thing, it was shocking to me. They're trying to couch it in conspiracy culture as well to, like, get away with it. And it's like, no, you're still not going to know over that. That's enough. Do not comment on Jim Carrey's appearance and do not ask him about vaccines. Right.

I wouldn't. I mean, to be fair, if I were to meet Jim Carrey, the last thing I'd bring up is vaccine. I know. He's a literally comedy legend. I would be like, I forgive you for everything else. All good. But if you step in front of a step and repeat, you're going to be asked about vaccines.

That's just the world we love it. Okay. Time to turn it over. Okay. Now, who wants to go first? I feel like yours is a good finale. Am I wrong? Sure.

Because it's like meta. Sure. Do you want to go first? No, you go first. It's meta. Yeah, it's pro Zuckerberg. Yeah, great. Yeah.

This is an ad. Well, it's sponsored by meta. Well, sorry. This episode is sponsored by Meta. Oh, sorry. Yeah. This episode is actually. only going to be on threads.

It's only going to be on threads for the first week. You see anything? No, no, it's fine. The riff, the roof has passed. Damn. RIPP that riff. RIP. So it's you.

Yeah. Here's George Svaris's, I don't think so, honey. His time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Little stores that don't have price tags on anything. Oh! I'm sorry, I'm walking into, let's say, a trendy menswear boutique.

Okay, sure, you're Danish, you're Japanese. We all have the right to self-actualize. I walk in. I'm a guest. I'm being looked up and down by a bunch of Willamina models. They're literally full-time Willamina models. They're only doing this part-time because they want to practice being cruel to people. I'm going through, asymmetrical blazers, graphic teas, whatever.

Suddenly it occurs to me. I don't know what any of these things cost. I go up to the person. I say how much is this? Suddenly they say, like it's nothing. Oh, that's $850. Suddenly I have to be a Steppenwolf level actor. And my reaction has to be.

Oh. Well, that's around what I thought it would be. Thank you. My favorite price. Suddenly I stop asking because I'm embarrassed. I go to the counter. Suddenly I'm paying $800. Sorry, this is a store with no price tags and then I'm surprisingly paying a million dollars.

What is this? The American health care system. What is this? A art installation that's commenting on the American health care system? I didn't come here to think. I came to buy a blazer. And by the way, I don't think so honey, Patty Smith. Enough with the memoirs.

We get it. One minute. Thank God she caught that straight after the minute. How much did a blazer cost? You know, a blazer I'm okay overpaying. What's overpaying? You know a blazer I'm okay overpay? Because it's structured, it's tailoring.

My issue is like a button-down shirt should not be expensive. A t-shirt should, well, a t-shirt if it's like, you know, sort of like a Supreme Collab or something I get. A badgers. It's crazy when you realize what prices are for a nice thing. No, it's insane. When I was like, all throughout our 20s, like I'll never forget. I'm sorry, I won't do this to you again.

After this. So he bought a, my sister, my beloved, my twin, went to Misan Kitsune and bought, what was, it was like a $350 sweatshirt. And at the time, I didn't think it was possible. I shouldn't, I shouldn't have purchased it. I agree. But that's, but that, when you find out like what a designer nice sweatshirt is, it's like, whatever. That's how much they are. Just the reality of it at a store like that.

But I was of the mind that you don't pay more than $45 for a hooded sweatshirt. There's no way. But that's the voice in your head that is your mother while you're at Urban Outfitters being like, I'm not paying $100 for a jacket. Every single time I've got a pair of shoes. Like even if it's just like a normal pair of tennis shoes, I'm like, this is insane. Right. Like I'm being robbed.

Yeah, but you know what? Go to Converse. $60. Oh. $60 for a classical American shoe that will never go out of style. You guys were waiting for it to happen. There is a culture of silence in retail right now. No, completely.

Yeah. Culture of silence and shame. Not dis or misinformation, uninformation. Yes, and there's no information. I'm going to give you a line to say, if you ever want to use it, it's one of my favorite bits. Whenever anyone says the price, you just look at the around the eye and you go, my favorite price. Works every time. My favorite price.

That'll be 9842, especially. if it's too much. You just go, well, it's my favorite price. And they take a minute, they take a second and a half to be like, what? What? And then they're like, oh, he's a goof. That's so funny. He's a clown and a goof. All right. Are you ready? Uh, yes. This is Sam Taggerts. I don't think so. Honey, his time starts now. I don't think so, honey, forcing celebrities to be normal. I think celebrities are our weirdest people. They're completely isolated. They are unbound by the same things that we are. and we punish them when they say weird stuff. They should be allowed to say weird stuff.

Timothy Chalemay should be able to say the ballet is boring. That's fine. And I think we should not attack them and our media ecosystem needs to cuddle and support them and say, I want to hear what else you're cooking up in there. Because it's sort of like a feral child. Like it's like you have a different brain than anyone else because you exist in like a different structure of society.

And like even like you guys like Matt, like before we started recording like you were talking about the vaccines and you were saying all this really smart stuff. And, like, I just think you should say it on Mike. Like, that's awesome that you're doing research. Like, and Bowen, like, of course, like, all that stuff you were saying about Taylor Swift was like, I thought really, really smart. Like, everyone, no one's above critique.

So just say it on mic. I think that's amazing. So let celebrities be freaking weird. Keep Austin weird and choose pitchfork, y'all. That's one minute. That's a line. We think Taylor Swift created the coronavirus in Wuhan. obviously.

Not in a lab, though. Outside. No, we think she made it. She made it with a bunch of Swedes. Well, how do you think she put narcotics into all of her songs? That's why you're all singing along. So you think she can't make the coronavirus?

Yeah, well, I didn't hear me sing along. Well, you obviously haven't listened to the song. You haven't streamed ever more because she's obviously a witch. And she said that in her Erestore. She said she's a witch in her Erestore. She went like this. Oh. That's so interesting.

You obviously didn't go to the Arestro. No. You would have had a great time. How do you expect to get along with the Hymgirls if you're not even going to go to the Arestor? I want to know what they're saying. I want to know what those Hymn girls are saying when the doors are closed and they check for hidden mics. So you support a surveillance state? Essentially.

No, the opposite. I think we have a surveillance date. And we need to get the Himes in a room with no mics. But you want to know what they're saying in the room. I'm not a mic. But you're a pro mic in the room. You're a Russian plan. I'm in the room.

I'm in the corner. Go ahead, girl. Get the high sisters together in a room. By the way, 40 seconds in, they're already doing a TikTok dance. They're perfectly synchronized. I am so blown away by their synchronization. No, it's crazy.

I can only describe it as sisterly. It's almost as if the performers. Yeah. Sips tea. It's almost as a little performers. Clock there. I turn to my right. It's almost at the performers,

I turn to my right. It's a perfect commercial for Dieto. That's amazing. Just like holding it at the angle. All I see is... That's actually crushed Ritz Crackers. All I felt was the humor and the impact. All I saw were two words, Diet Coke.

Go, Bon, Yang. You really chose Target. Yep. And in a way, we all did by being in this dream. I'm talking to you all. Yeah, that's right. Everyone's complicit. We are all complicit.

Oh, always. Always. Look at this. Look at this color. These colors run red. We had a comment once that was like, that was like, I can't believe people are talking about, like, anti-capitalism with an iHeart thing on their microphone. And it was like, chill

out. We contain multitudes. Yeah. I think we're all here contains even so much more than just pitchfork and target. Who has the most multitudes? Who has the most multitudes here? Ooh. Wow. I think it depends. I'm out of the running. No, I don't think you are at all.

I think I'm really out. You've got a tud. You've had a toad all day. Don't talk with him like that. Who is more? protective than the other. So far, George has been more protective of Sam. Well, that's because Sam is a visitor to New York City. When I'm in L.A., Sam is more

protective of me. Yes. Do you really feel that way? Yeah, Jessica DeLivergson kept coming for George hard. Yeah. And then in San Francisco, you, because both of you kind of felt like visitors. In San Francisco, I feel like I'm protective of Sam. But then I also at this point, every time we go, I'm like, I'm going to show you George's San Francisco. And then it's sort of like,

this is a third wave coffee shop I used to go to. But it's the same when we go to Chicago. And I'm like, I love this place and I went there once when I was 21. Like, I don't actually know. Have you been to Boston with him? We've been to Boston together. Yeah. That's fine. That was fun. Here's what I don't understand. You have a friend in town. I'm just going to show them around. Right.

What does that mean? They're having sex. Honey. Honey, that means book yourself a ticket to the high line because we're walking to the Whitney. Yeah. Yeah, that's what it means. I keep getting like letters from the Whitney. Like not letters. Like, what do you call?

Like postcards? Like, please. mailers. Mailers. Yeah, I think all of New York City is. George speaks me. He knows what word I'm not. It's because we're both Greeks. It's not really.

I think he's still, I think Greek, Turkish, because his 23 and me came back Turkish. Yes. It's all Mediterranean. It's all Mediterranean. I mean, Greece was under Turkish rule, so that was probably your ancestors.

That's why I cried your whole wedding. Yeah. Because I was like, I wish I could be a part of this culture. I'm without a culture. Just sobbing. and sobbing to your family. That's actually better though.

That's like two more multitudes. Disney. Okay, wait, got to say it. Favorite joke of all time that didn't make it into an SNL. It's this. It's Heidi Gardner in a Florida Bama Shore sketch. And she goes,

I was born in the China part of Epcot Centers, so I'm half Chinese, half Disney. God. That's funny. L-O-O-O. See, S&L can be Pitchfork sometimes.

Eppcott Center are you kidding? Are you kidding? Of course. Well, wasn't this great? This was so fun. It shouldn't take this long

for us all the game. I thought you meant the episode. I was like, okay, this long. Yeah, we just didn't hit that laugh quota. We got to all get together without these things.

Let's go see Wethering Heights. I actually, well, you know, I already saw it. I haven't seen it yet, have you? Me either. I have not seen it. Do you? Yes. Let's go a second time.

membership. Always. Actually, it's my favorite album of her. I shouldn't have said that. And let's see Sorat. Oh, people talk about Surat. That's true. Clock it.

So when he starts to talk about like foreign films or like, you know, sort of. Do you guys need us to leave? Because Lena is probably outside. Can you see my eyes just like, okay. Are they disappear? Well, that's kind of sometimes me like during certain subjects. But we've always said I'm the you. Yeah.

But I feel like there's a, there's an inversion happening. I feel like I'm the you. Well, there's a twist. There's something. We know. With one look, we know. George and I have our own thing. And also, interestingly enough, professionally speaking, Matt and I have worked together professionally

and you two have worked together professionally. That's true. But also I've worked with Matt a little. Yeah. We actually had, we were, we giggled and gagged. At after midnight. Oh, yes. We've all shared space.

Not just today, but many other times. and thanks for just joining us and just having a glimpse into what it's like to have a community of guys that really support you. And, um... And, um... What if we wore Manosphere?

That'd be cool. There was a point when we were all talking where I was like, are we Manosphere? You know what I mean? In this setup, it feels a lot more Manusphere. I like see the video and I'm like, whoa, we look Manosphere. No, I will say that's the only thing that runs me at. What I know.

Right, right, right. You know what I'm jealous of? in Manosphere podcasting, Celsius is everywhere. I know. Must be nice. Yeah, he's really without them here. There's a full,

there's a cooler with them. I think you'd want to have them strewn about in our space. I just feel like there's like a chillness that they get to have. Like I honestly get to like sometimes I try. Is this untucked?

Everything I said today fed to me by a publicist. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was going to say, you seem very media trained. I am. And that's what I'll say about the night.

I woke up chose media training. No, I actually recently did a podcast where every single clip of me resulted in nonstop vitriol. And I have now... Oh, all towards you. Towards me. Fuck, I'm sorry.

And I now am... I have media trained myself. It's kind of like how my dad says he did autotherapy to himself, has never seen a therapist, but he said it worked. That's what I did to myself with media training. It's like... Best kind. Is it media, like, you know what I mean?

Like, nothing will media train you like a thousand death threats. I know. I guess I'll never open my mouth again. I feel media trained. I feel the media has trained me. But I feel like... I don't want to get media trained. Both y'all.

No, no, no. Like it's like going to the dentals. Well, you have to go in for your annual training. They explain to you who then you TikTokers are. Well, you're all clogged up. Oh, I'm going to have some media cavities for sure. They're going to be upset with me. Snackaholic.

You're both married. You both have an hour. You're media trained. We clearly don't want them. Just to end. I know. I was going to talk forever. Well, Stradio Lab is on big money players.

And so is Las Coltristas. Thank you. That's actually not talked about enough. Like, sister podcast down. At us a mess. And mess, of course. One of the six of us all going to get on stage at Bell House. Well, we'll be there tonight.

Well, you didn't invite us. That's true. That's true. Sorry. That's okay. Should we go? Yeah. Do you guys want comps?

Yeah, we actually would love to go to the show. What time? 7.30. Celeste is going to be on it. Wait, are you actually going to come? Yeah, I would come. It's Celeste, Patty Harrison, Joe Firestone. Let's go.

Oh, well, I want to go. Fun. See you there. If it's not too late. I know day you have comps are a thing. No, it's not too late. Don't backtrack. You're coming.

I'm coming. This is weird. Yeah. I never make decisions like this. If I were you guys, I wouldn't come. No, we're coming. I need a day in advance. Well, too late.

What's because you're visiting? Stream a sense of urgency on Amazon or Apple. That is my special. Come to my shows in L.A. on March 24th. March 24th and April 1st. Thank you. Because this is coming out before the Union Hall show, March 18th at Union Hall. And Streamheim.

They got a lot. They got us through a lot of the episode today. Yeah. And Streamheim and support Gaga and, and oh, radical optimism. Have it. Yes. Radical optimism. Watch the new Bridget Jones.

Yes. Yes. And, you know, don't backsnate your goats. Don't back to the kids. Stan Venusaur. Bye. Oh, get, everyone, so with the song. Looking in the mirror again and again.

I'll tell me something. I can't really hold on myself. Can't get in a situation. Can not be friends. Can not be friends. Not be friends. Because not want me. And I'm going to try to get my friends.

They're getting up to leave. Bye. Las Culturacis is the production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and Iheart Radio podcasts. Created and hosted by Matt Rogers and Bowen-Yang. Executive produced by Anna Hosnier and produced by Becker Ramos. Edited and mixed by Doug Bame. And our music is by Henry Kavarski. In the middle of the night, Saskia awoke in a haze.

Her husband, Mike, was on his laptop. What was on his screen would change Saskia's life forever. I said, I need you to tell me exactly what you're doing. And immediately, the mask came off. You're supposed to be safe. That's your home. That's your husband. Listen to Betrayal Season 5 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I'm Nancy Glass, host of the Burden of Guilt Season 2 podcast. This is a story about a horrendous lie that destroyed two families. Late one night, Bobby Gumpbright became the victim of a random crime. The perpetrator was sentenced to 99 years until a confession changed everything. I was a monster. Listen to Burden of Guilt Season 2 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Come check this. IHeart and TikTok have come together to create something new.

I love it. Where the world of TikTok meets your playlist. Three words that will change your life. I heart TikTok radio. The biggest hits across IHeartRadio. What's trending for you on TikTok? Tell me a sound that's better than this. I heart TikTok radio.

Plus TikTok's most influential creators all in one place. Search for IHeart TikTok radio. Make it a preset and stay connected all day. This Women's History Month, the podcast Keep It Posit, Sweetie, celebrates the power of women choosing healing, purpose, and faith, even when life gets. It's messy. Love is not a destination. You have to work on it every day. Keep it positive, sweetie, creates space for honest conversations on self-worth, love, growth,

and navigating life with grace and grid led by women who uplift, inspire, and tell the truth out loud. I have several conversations with God, and I know why it took the 20 years. To hear this and more, listen to Keep It Positive, Sweetie, on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. This is an IHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human