Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - "Prestige Actress" (w/ Brandon Scott Jones)

Episode Date: January 30, 2019

This episode of Las Culturistas is an amusement park for your ears. Brandon Scott Jones joins Matt and Bowen to talk the Leah Remini Escape From Scientology amusement park ride that will exist in Matt...'s future theme park, Tayla Swiff, writing aggressive musical numbers as a means of confrontation, and the question on everyone's mind...Bowen Yang OR Boneless Wings?---MERCH! MERCH! GET YOUR LAS CULTURISTAS MERCH!https://www.teepublic.com/stores/las-culturistasSUBSCRIBE ON APPLE PODCASTS TODAY!CONNECT W/ LAS CULTURISTAS ON FACEBOOK & TWITTER for the best in "I Don't Think So, Honey" action, updates on live shows, conversations with the Las Culturistas community, and behind-the scenes photos/videos:www.facebook.com/lasculturistastwitter.com/lasculturistasLAS CULTURISTAS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST. LAS CULTURISTAS IS PRODUCED BY EMMA FOLEY.http://foreverdogproductions.com/fdpn/podcasts/las-culturistas/ Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 The Real Housewives of New York City are back for another bite of the Big Apple. Look who it is. Joined by elite new friends. Rebecca Minkoff. Have you ever heard of her? But things could change in a New York Minute. She had this wild night and ended up getting pregnant by some other guy. What?
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Starting point is 00:03:25 because if you've been wanting to talk you got to get started today so go to better help.com slash ding dong and simply fill out the questionnaire to help them assess your needs and get matched with a counselor you'll love and one that you can always change look man oh i see my oh my bowen look over there wow Wow. Is that culture? Yes. Oh, my goodness. Wow. Las Culturistas. Ding dong. Las Culturistas calling.
Starting point is 00:03:54 You blew out the mic just now, you loud, stupid bitch. I'm excited for this day. I'm excited for this day, too. But you came in. With an energy. Just white hot. Like a snake. Like a snake. Like a white hot snake. Like a white snake the band the hair metal band exactly them not hair metal they were hair rock hair rock yeah it's a
Starting point is 00:04:14 rule of culture number nine hair rock it's well the full rule is white snake white snake was hair rock and i think that reads and the reason i came with us in a certain type of way today is because i feel very proud of our guests but also a deep betrayal from our guests okay because now he's a prestige actress and that's a betrayal it's a betrayal deep betrayal so we were all supposed to be in basements together forever now and our guests went on ahead and became a prestige actress the moment I saw our guest perform when I was young, when I was but a zygote, I thought
Starting point is 00:04:49 he will ascend to prestige actress. It's incredible when you see someone that you used to know become a prestige actress, and I feel that we might even have the title of Epis Prestige Actress. Absolutely. Because you see them change. I do. I don't mean to mention this right
Starting point is 00:05:06 off the top but i i saw them on set like i was like i saw them from video village and i was like there's a fucking prestige actress we'll talk about this and it's crazy like i don't know i came in today with a certain type of white hot white snake hair rock energy and i of course like you know me i'm at a 12 at all times and i found what i found when i came in this room was you two prestige actresses sitting talking quietly we had a lived in conversation about therapy oh that's what that's that's what you were coming in on you have to be able to accept the energy of a room that existed, that was the reality before you came into it. It's something I've been told many times to read the room. It is pure solipsism with you.
Starting point is 00:05:54 Your reality is the only true reality. It's unacceptable, and you have to correct. I'm pure solipsism. Yes. I'm going to put that in my Twitter bio. Pure solipsism. Pure solipsism. I think that would be so fun.
Starting point is 00:06:04 Can you define solipsist? Yeah. So it's like this, it's not a philosophical view, but it's this view that what I'm experiencing is the only true thing. The only thing.
Starting point is 00:06:14 And everyone else is just a fabrication of my, the way that I see the world. Okay. It's like you literally don't think other people are real people. Well, can I say something?
Starting point is 00:06:23 What? That's not true. I think you're a real person. I think our other people are real people. Well, can I say something? What? That's not true. I think you're a real person. I think our guest is a real person. Yes. And I'm very proud of him. Let's go through the credits. Proud of her.
Starting point is 00:06:31 Proud of her. The credits are huge. This prestige actress will appear in many prestige projects going forward. He has already appeared in many prestige projects. And there was, in fact, one of the prestige films of the year. Truly. Was Can You Ever Forgive Me? Starring Ms. Melissa McCarthy.
Starting point is 00:06:49 Starring Ms. Richard E. Grant. And Ms. Richard E. Grant in a performance. And Ms. Jane Curtin. And Ms. Jane Curtin. Never forget Jane Curtin. Never forget Jane. It's actually rule of culture number 12. Never forget Jane Curtin.
Starting point is 00:07:00 And I felt that Richard E. Grant should win the Oscar. I felt like. I think Richard E. Grant should win the Oscar. I felt like- I think Richard E. Grant- We talked about this in the Natalie Walker episode that we recorded before the Globes. I was like- I hadn't seen it at the time. I was like, he has to win something.
Starting point is 00:07:13 He's so good at it. I think he should win the Academy Award. Oh, that last scene in Julius. Yes. You know what I'm talking about? The look in his eye of just regret. I'm like, oh my God. Coach Aristas, you have to go see that.
Starting point is 00:07:23 But our guest was phenomenal phenomenal the guest the guest that we have today in the room who will speak in moments had was so good in the in the movie so good in the movie and snooty and very snooty performance snooty in housing works bookshop extremely snooty and housing works housing works sort of snooty where i said i don't know about that character i loved that you know what i mean we said, I don't know about that character. I loved that character. You know what I mean? I don't know about her. I'm that character though. I know you are. I am that character.
Starting point is 00:07:49 Pure solipsism. Pure solipsism. And so the more I think about it, the more our guest has even more credits that are coming up down the pipeline. The other two. The other two, which is a series that we are currently
Starting point is 00:08:01 doing a featureette on several weeks. Full, what are these called it's basically a little mini season it's a micro season we are pushing the other two hard I and because we love it so much because we love it so dearly we have to mention that there's no like Viacom is not paying us to do this
Starting point is 00:08:20 like we are just no they could if they want it they could if they want um but we're just pursuing this because we love the show so we've seen all 10 episodes we've seen it all fantastic love it um and don't forget that if you thought that it was just all about television comedy and and dramatic film no no there is broad high budget comedy broad high budget comedy coming down the pipeline from our guest and our film isn't it romantic our guest is truly i think the star of the film i think our guest is the star of the film our guest at the table read because you were in this film you are in this i am in this film i play our guest when i remember this i play our
Starting point is 00:08:55 guest's boyfriend at the end of the film can't wait to hear about that um at the table read he was the fucking star priyanka chopra was guffawing just staring at him just like who is this person priyanka couldn't believe what she was seeing hearing and experiencing absolutely and fucking liam mr miss hemsworth oh i could talk about him gave him i think went in for a hug at the table read oh but wait a minute he smells like a fucking tree if she's listening we love her so much i can't even describe how much i love the first time i met betty gilpin sunita mani past guest of the show past culturista passing i think so honey or introduced us and i truly was like i i fully as sudi says never be a fan and i ascribed to that but i was she does i couldn't resist i was like i was like you are incredible she's amazing
Starting point is 00:09:46 she's amazing and that was before season two of glow that was after season one and then season two of course she has the full hospital scene open invitation to be on the show I want Betty Gilpin on lost coach the wheels the wheels might be in motion I live for this and that will be
Starting point is 00:10:02 a moment where I will have to take a deep breath I will have to take a deep breath. I will have to take a deep breath. But let's just... And can I say, I've taken so many deep breaths. I have to take a deep breath when I remember that this person is in our life.
Starting point is 00:10:14 Is in our life, is in our friend, is in our little coterie, like legendary UCB comedian. Legendary UCB comedian. Someone who took a chance on me and Sam Taggart's crazy fucking show live on Broadway back in the day when we were just two
Starting point is 00:10:27 fucking nothings. And he was the Carrie Bradshaw of the show. He's Carrie Bradshaw. He's done Carrie Bradshaw every time. He's nailed Carrie Bradshaw every time. For someone who hasn't ever seen a full episode of Sex and the City, that's fucking insane. Nailed Carrie Bradshaw. Isn't that crazy? That's so stupid. But he is Carrie Bradshaw. Please welcome
Starting point is 00:10:43 our guest, Brandon Scott Jones. I think he's actually saying that wasn't recording. It wasn't? If we had to do it again, you stupid bitch. Wait, I fully panicked. I was like, oh my heart. How dare you? And see, that's what it is.
Starting point is 00:11:01 These prestige actresses who also have the tricks up their sleeve. Oh my God. Fuck you. Fuck you. What do you think? You're some sort of Catherine Han? That's not a joke to upset people. That's not a joke.
Starting point is 00:11:11 It's not a joke. Okay. All right. Fine. Sorry. Jesus fucking Christ. Welcome back. Well, it's good to be back.
Starting point is 00:11:17 And as I said, off air and you guys confirmed and I am the first time repeat guest. First time, two time guest. And you're the first gay male guest on the show. Absolutely. Yes, you are. You are.
Starting point is 00:11:28 We've never had one. Never had one. I was like, I just realized that. I was like, oh my God. And you guys did it twice. And I'm glad just to be the representation for. We needed diversity on the pod until we got you. You did, finally.
Starting point is 00:11:39 Anytime we talk about tennis on this pod, you're invoked. Your name is invoked. And this is a hot pod for 10 hot pot for 10 honestly this might be the year i get into 10 wait do it it's great this happened in the movie in what movie isn't it romantic um i don't think so but you are exercising in the film i am yeah yeah i'm exercising in the film and that that i remember that um uh outfit that i'm in yeah it's like the most expensive i couldn't believe how expensive
Starting point is 00:12:05 apparently it was like 2000 it's like the Kim Kardashian whatever she works out like a designer workout clothes oh my gosh yeah
Starting point is 00:12:11 that was my favorite part about doing that movie was wearing all the clothes oh my god I got to wear I mean I'll never be indulging Gabbana again but like I was in it head to toe
Starting point is 00:12:20 for most of that movie did you get to keep anything I did I did I got to keep, they gave me one thing as when I left. What did you take?
Starting point is 00:12:27 There's a scene where I'm riding on a motorbike with Rebel. Right. And I have this leather Wilson. Rebel Wilson.
Starting point is 00:12:35 And I have this leather jacket and I put, this leather jacket is like, it's a cropped leather jacket with like huge long fringe. Yes. And they gave it to me at the end of the me at the end of the
Starting point is 00:12:45 at the end of the movie because it was the first scene that I shot which I thought was really nice and I just loved wearing it even though I can never wear it in public
Starting point is 00:12:51 like you I thought about wearing it here and I was like this is the only safe space that I feel like you could at least appreciate it
Starting point is 00:12:58 you really could have it is really pretty you guys would both here's the thing it is a sisterhood of the traveling jacket like everybody who I've had it over
Starting point is 00:13:04 when they put it on they look really great oh my god you guys have to go's the thing it is a sisterhood of the traveling jacket like everybody who I've had it over when they put it on they look really great oh my god you guys have to go over and try it on let's go right now let's go right now let's go right now
Starting point is 00:13:11 it's the sisterhood of the jacket that only stays in BSJ's apartment is there in the film is there in the film and you've seen it so you can kind of
Starting point is 00:13:18 spoil this much is there a fabulous montage of trying on clothes there was I have seen the film and there it was supposed to be but i think that might have gotten lifted out now i don't know what version of the film that i saw right what's gonna be might be thrown back but it might i don't think it i don't think it will but either i got to do that montage i got to wear all the different i got to
Starting point is 00:13:39 wear all the different clothes oh my god yes it was very fun movie i saw which did not have a montage of trying on fabulous clothes and they literally made you think we were gonna get that and what movie second act oh really second act my favorite film of 2018 was a great the it's the best film of the year yeah i believe we haven't unpacked this you and sudi went to go see second act what here's why i love it you're swimming in irony right now it's the best film of 2018 please tell us here's why I love it. You're swimming in irony right now. It's the best film of 2018. Please tell us. Here's why I think it's the best film of 2018. There's a scene where before Leah Remini nails a one-liner, she unbuttons the top button of her pants. Which I would like that to be in every film.
Starting point is 00:14:15 Yeah. That's like Marissa Tomei body work. She's like, all right, undoes the top button of her pants and then lays into a joke. And I'm like, wow. A subplot of the film, good a subplot of the film a major subplot of the film is that Milo Ventimiglia has a perfect ass
Starting point is 00:14:32 it's a major subplot of the film is there like a twist no that oh so it's just a flat arc there's no there's no growth a major plot is how his ass is perfect nice J-Lo laughs cries and serves looks There's no growth. A major plot is how his ass is perfect. Nice.
Starting point is 00:14:49 J-Lo laughs, cries, and serves looks. Okay. She's a star. And what more could you ask from a woman? And what else? Shut up. And then what? And then what else? Oh, there's two insane, broad comedic moments that have no sense to them that happen
Starting point is 00:15:06 out of nowhere so there's one scene where she's leaving her it is not a comedy like this like there's not like large like physical jokes but at one point she quits her job at like a supermarket she's like an assistant manager at a supermarket
Starting point is 00:15:22 and she quits and she turns around the corner and trips over a fucking um like like chain like you know how they put the chains up to like i'm yes yes like like like a little like a chain like they put a chain up in between like the aisles and she flips over and falls on her face. And it comes out of nowhere. And then later on, when she gives this big presentation about this new cream that she created. At the end, they release a bunch of doves into the air. The doves get released in the air and they all get hit by a huge truck. No. It comes out of nowhere and no one mentions it again.
Starting point is 00:16:00 No one. That is that scary movie three level. Regina Hall. Like, who the fuck did that like who the fuck did that it was like that but it was like i said to sue you when we saw it i was like we need one more like big stupid yeah and it doesn't happen did you say after the credits maybe it was honestly it probably was in the post credit it was in the post credit scene like when samuel jackson comes out with an ipad she's like, oh, come on, motherfucker.
Starting point is 00:16:26 And then Harry Shum Jr. is in it. Harry Shum Jr. gets his own title card, gets its own credit. Gets a SAG nomination. Gets a SAG nomination for appearing in the movie in the post credit. I believe that second act was the amazing film of 2018,
Starting point is 00:16:37 the standout film of the year. And Vanessa Hudgens. Princess Witch? No. No, Vanessa Hudgens is in it. And there's a big twist with Vanessa Hudgens, which I will not reveal.
Starting point is 00:16:45 Really? She's Milo's ass. She's Milo's ass. That's the arc. That's the arc. Wow. You didn't see second act? No, I wanted to.
Starting point is 00:16:52 Are you kidding? That's called a Wednesday. But during this time of year you see a lot of the serious stuff. I do see a lot of the... You like to see all the Oscar films. I do. Actually, the two that I haven't seen
Starting point is 00:17:02 were the ones that won Best Picture this year at the Golden Globes. I can give a fuck less about Green Book. We've already spent too much time talking about Bohemian Rhapsody on this.
Starting point is 00:17:10 We can't even discuss Bohemian Rhapsody. I refuse. Yeah. I mean, but Green Book, I also don't care about. Yeah. I still, I'm going to
Starting point is 00:17:17 probably see them. It's just like the act of like clicking that link is just, my fingers haven't done it yet. Yeah. You know what I mean? Oh, all you need
Starting point is 00:17:25 all you need to do is just click a link or maybe the I have the DVDs I have I think that they sent the stream to the
Starting point is 00:17:31 to the SAG you know what this might be my own no this might be my own I don't think so honey okay okay
Starting point is 00:17:37 I'll wait I'll wait for it you're gonna hold you're gonna sit on that one I'm gonna sit on it gonna sit on it what movies have you liked this year and I know you're gonna say
Starting point is 00:17:43 your own film yes I did it's really good yeah no I did like can you ever forgive me a lot but i also loved the favorite that was amazing it was unreal uh i thought that was great and i liked um here's here's a list of movies that i really enjoyed this year widows i fucking lived for what i thought that was yeah it's a good one um I really loved Alex Strangelove on Netflix. Oh, I didn't see that. I loved All the Boys I've Loved Before. Sure, sure.
Starting point is 00:18:09 These are my prestige movies. No, but then like, I guess also, have you seen Roma? I haven't yet. Everyone says you have to go to the theater. Yeah, you should. I watched it at home and I remember being like ending it and then being like, huh,
Starting point is 00:18:26 I wish I saw that in the theater, but it's really beautiful. And what, what is it about that? Like what people haven't really gotten specific about why you need to go to the theater. Well, it's this really like intimate story. It feels very like an intimate story on like a big panoramic scale,
Starting point is 00:18:37 but also I could have just be regurgitating something I read in like a review. On a big panoramic scale. On a big panoramic scale. That's something I've heard you say many times. Yes, exactly. A lot of my work, I try to put on big panoramic scale that's something I've heard you say many times yes exactly a lot of my work I try to
Starting point is 00:18:48 put on a panoramic scale so people see a not only it's quality but also it's effect on the world around me directly
Starting point is 00:18:54 it has to be a panorama it has to be 70mm wide that screen has to be big enough to hold this you know what I'm saying 300 dpi
Starting point is 00:19:04 yeah exactly I want 15 million frames a second how many times have you seen That screen has to be big enough to hold this. You know what I'm saying? 300 DPI. Yeah, exactly. I want 15 million frames a second. How many times have you seen your own film, Can You Ever Forgive Me? I saw it. I've seen it twice. Great. And then, yeah, it was good.
Starting point is 00:19:16 I liked it. It's really good. And thank you for finally referring to it as my film. Yeah, it's your film. It is. And that's what I always understood. And Melissa knows that. She knew it from the day we met. When we were like, I showed up. We were in the trailer. She looked over at me. film yeah it is and that's what i that's what i always understood and melissa knows that she knew
Starting point is 00:19:25 it like from the day we met like when we were like i showed up we were in the trailer she looked over at me she gave me the eyes like don't fuck this up for me and i looked back at her and i was like don't fuck this up for me and she understood and she understood that and then she gave me like a head nod did she under pick me up and threw me out the tree that's melissa what was it like on set with Melissa McCarthy? Well, you know, I will never forget it. So it was a cold January morning. It looked cold.
Starting point is 00:19:54 It looked cold. It did look cold. It looked really cold. And that's something that a lot of times when you're watching a movie, and I don't know if you guys know this, but a lot of movies, I will, I'll tell you right now, are shot
Starting point is 00:20:05 in los angeles and it's warm there this was not shot in los angeles this was shot in new york city on location where it took place you can and you know it takes place there because it was based on a book oh baby and that book wasn't fiction. That book was written by Lee Israel. Yes. It is based on the book by Lee Israel about her own situation. Yes, correct. Yeah, about, yeah. I see. It's a great, it's honestly like-
Starting point is 00:20:32 You read the book? I did not. Though somebody pointed out, this is kind of, this is, you know what? This made me smile on Twitter. Somebody pointed out that my character that I do play in the movie which is i'm very grateful that you guys are loving it but you know it's it's a compact little character arc and i love it it's an important but it's an important role you i mean that you could actually start a brand new movie with me running down that street i'll say this with the dog yes you are the i would
Starting point is 00:20:59 say you're the seventh or eighth lead not seventh exactly fifth here's the here's the leads of the film no melissa richard jane brandon no no melissa richard j i'm sorry brandon but you're not the fourth you're not the fifth and then and then it's the actress who plays her love interest you have dolly dolly miss dolly wells i'm sorry. First of all, it's Melissa, Miss Richard. Jane. Miss Molly Wells. The guy who he picks up from the rest, from the diner, honey. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 00:21:35 Then. From 13 Reasons Why. Miss Books. Miss Books, who ends up being like, man, we have a problem. Oh, that waiter at that diner guy was cute. Yes, he was. You watched 13 Reasons Why? I did not watch 13 Reasons Why. Then, we have a problem. Oh, that waiter, that diner guy was cute. Yes, he was. You watched 13 Reasons Why? I did not watch 13 Reasons Why.
Starting point is 00:21:46 Then, Miss Jane Curtin. You're being, you're being, you're actually doing this. Don't do this. Then. Stop it. And only then do we get to Brandon Scott Jones. All right.
Starting point is 00:21:57 And every role is important. And of course my character's name was Donovan. Donovan McGon. Donovan McGon. Was this based on a true character and i guess somebody on twitter photographed an actual passage from the book where she talks about meeting that guy at a bookstore and him being like a real rude ape to her and i was like oh i think that's what it was so i chose not to do any uh historical work Sure. I mean, I did sleep in a bookstore for prep.
Starting point is 00:22:26 I love that. You went to Housing Works just to check out. He slept there to get prep one night. I slept there to get prep. They told him in the morning they were here and they got free prep.
Starting point is 00:22:33 I'll sleep here. I'll sleep in this book. He's like, I want to be first. It's like when people go line up for video games. It's like, I want to be first in line
Starting point is 00:22:39 in the morning for prep. I want to be first. Patrovata. Now, let me ask you this because I am truly terrified for the day that I have to act first. Petrovada. Now, let me ask you this, because I am truly terrified for the day that I have to act over the phone. Oh, that's hard.
Starting point is 00:22:51 I'm always fascinated by the timing. Is it someone, like, who between the two recorded first? Were you acting opposite Melissa's audio, or were you acting, were you just acting into a void? I was acting. During the phone scene. Yeah, no, no, no you just acting into a void? I was acting, during the phone scene. Yeah, no, no, no. Oh, you know what?
Starting point is 00:23:07 That scene was, so like where she's on the phone outside with Richard Grant, that was the first thing, I think that might've been the first thing that they shot in the whole movie. Oh. And when I'm on the phone talking to them, that's like two, like a month and a half later. So I remember, so they had already shot that
Starting point is 00:23:23 and I think they maybe went back and added that side of the phone conversation and so yeah yeah and here's some fun little movie magic for you also like that that um uh in the bookstore that's actually i think that was shot in lee's apartment they just dressed part of her apartment to look like that bookstore i love that oh that's fine when i'm on the phone yeah i love that movie magic i really i really do love that movie. I mean, like the movie is so great and Mario Heller is just like,
Starting point is 00:23:49 she's like, have you ever seen her other- I've watched her do interviews. Yes. I haven't seen any of her other work. And so you cut Brandon off to say that. Sorry. Diver teenage girl.
Starting point is 00:24:00 No, it's just like, she's just a great, just a really great, phenomenal filmmaker. I've seen her do interviews. Yes. I've seen her do interviews.
Starting point is 00:24:10 There's nothing you can tell me that I haven't heard from her interviews. Emily Heller too. Oh my God. I love Emily Heller. So funny. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:18 Oh my gosh. Yeah. Very talented family. Those Hellers. Those Hellers. I was telling someone about Emily Heller's bit at the Emmys.
Starting point is 00:24:24 Her red carpet bit. The clutch with Getty Images. Oh, yeah. She had a great clutch that said Getty Images on it. Getty Images. Oh, who did? Emily Heller. Oh, did she?
Starting point is 00:24:33 Oh, my God, that's wild. And she just held it to her waist, like Getty Images. I love that. That is hilarious. That's so funny. Also, we can't deny that the star. Thank you so much. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:24:44 You guys, Cop Producer Andrew just got us all water. Come on. Wow, thank you, Hot Producer Andrew. It tastes really good. It does really, yeah. Let's take a break to take a sip of our Poland Spring water bottles. Thank you, Poland Spring. A New York institution.
Starting point is 00:25:00 Yum. Yeah. So the great thing about the Golden Globes is that we got the meme of the year, which is Fiji girl. Fiji girl. Fiji girl appearing in. Can I just say, she, I think she was probably like a bit of SponCon.
Starting point is 00:25:14 Like the Fiji people were like, all right, Alexis, you're going to photo bomb all these red carpet photos. And like, that was like engineered. There was like. I love it. Like, okay. All right. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:24 I loved her but there were a bunch of fiji girls walking around the carpet all with trays full of fiji with bouquets of fiji and she was the one who got to sort of sneak into these packs it's like with anything though it's rule of culture one of you is going to rise to the top let's say it's rule of culture number right yeah one of you is gonna rise to the top that's what they probably said to all the fiji girls in the beginning of the night this is it like look you create your destiny right here here's the deal where's gonna be cameras you know that's true yes what you have is your trays of fiji yeah and your opportunity right now is this indoor conversation happening or an outdoor conversation i think it happens outside early in the day yeah
Starting point is 00:26:04 and i think all the girls are actually very hot. Yeah. Like they're all really, and some of them maybe even had to sit down. They were up since what? Probably like three. I think they were up for a long time. 3 a.m. 3 a.m.
Starting point is 00:26:14 4 a.m. They were up since 3 a.m. getting hair and makeup. And also, you know, I think you have to probably have to do a little bit of weight training to be able to hold all that Fiji. It's insane. I mean, this bottle right here, and it's not a Fiji. No, I have to give it that. It is a Poland spring.
Starting point is 00:26:28 Yes. But this is heavy to me. Oh, this is heavy. Oh, and imagine. Imagine more than one of these. I'm going to try to hold two. Here. This is horrible.
Starting point is 00:26:35 Yeah. Oh, yeah. This is horrible. I'm indoors, and I have to do it. I mean. I hated that. You began sweating immediately. I did.
Starting point is 00:26:42 Yeah. I hated that. I hated that. I hated that. Imagine having to do that all the time. Somebody's like, you're holding a bouquet of water. What? She was giving you full face, full attitude, full star quality. I think someone's, what if one of us does that on a red carpet someday as an actual,
Starting point is 00:26:59 like as talent, but our look is we do a tray of Fiji. I think that'd be fun. That's a look. That is a good look. That's a good look fiji i think that'd be fun that's a look that is a good look are you going to the other two premiere i i am yeah you should do that i should that's what i should do yeah that's what i'm gonna do i think actually i was wondering what i was gonna wear to it uh you should be fiji girl yeah i should be fiji girl i should well this will come out after that i believe right around the right around so like maybe the week after yeah okay it'll be great i'm just saying like take your opportunity yeah exactly
Starting point is 00:27:30 so that's what she did i know i gotta i gotta what was it maximize that is a word that maximize yes maximize maximize you do you remember that i said that i do it stuck with me it stuck with me deeply sorry was this one of your green point lunches no this wasn't this i'll tell you where this was bo because you were there this was when we were watching hairspray live and jennifer hudson was singing and matt was screaming over her singing saying she's maximizing because she she literally that song is just yes like no she's just like, get me some pumpkin pie. And she's like, get me some pumpkin pie. And she's just like giving you Jennifer, maximizing. I thought you were talking about, I know where I've been. I know where I've been.
Starting point is 00:28:18 I know where I've been. No, it was. I know where I've been. Like she does like smash. She does. And I'm telling you basically. I think you was. I don't know. But now I've been. Like she does like smash. She does. Yes. And I'm telling you basically. I think you have to take that big breath
Starting point is 00:28:29 like right before it. Burn. So good. Wait Matt, that's I think on key. That is on key. That was like beautiful. I'm a. You're an incredible singer.
Starting point is 00:28:39 I'm first and foremost a vocalist. Wait, and I mean that because I'm gonna. PSJA. All right, I won't. If you don't want i have to go i i have to say that have you heard of christmas was one i say this is my second year in a row seeing it it is going to become a family tradition for me because you will do it for the rest of my life i got emotional i was thinking this he's great like not like nobody in like our
Starting point is 00:29:00 i just feel like there hasn't been like a Christmas classic standard instant standard like that in a long time oh my gosh in my world it filled such a very specific
Starting point is 00:29:11 must needed thing yes and the show I saw you after the I saw you like immediately after the show you were kind enough
Starting point is 00:29:18 and I don't want to brag to your listeners but I got a comp that's amazing I know it was incredible I felt really really great I sat next to two people who were just but I got a comp. That's amazing. I know. It was incredible. I felt really, really great.
Starting point is 00:29:30 I sat next to two people who were just big fans of Matt, and that was very fun. That's nice. But then I saw you after, and my heart was beating so fast because I was like, I could not believe. The talent. The talent.
Starting point is 00:29:43 Yeah. I couldn't believe the talent because I knew the man. I could not believe. The talent. The talent. Yeah. I couldn't believe the talent. Because I knew the man. I believe the man. I believe her. But the talent. But the talent. Good Lord.
Starting point is 00:29:53 I was really. The prestige actress. I'm sitting here like, that was your introduction for me. I was bowled over by that. By you being so kind about it at the end. And like, that was a really good special show you missed that one you were at the one on the 18th but this is the one on the 22nd which is like the culmination of the last one felt like the last thing i was doing in the year it's like
Starting point is 00:30:12 when they film the hbo special of the concert tour yeah you know what i'm saying it's like that yeah oh my god it was it was literally imagine digital get down for three hours digital get down was your example oh my god that was that's my favorite show to do. And I'm so excited for what we're going to do with it next year. Cause I think, I think there's going to be, I think I might have some fun with venues. Maybe.
Starting point is 00:30:33 Potentially. I potentially, potentially, I think I might actually make good on my threat to make it a real album. Thank you. You have to, you have enough material. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:42 And also I've been playing it on YouTube for people and like pointing the phone in their face. Because I do think part of watching it or listening to it is watching you sing it. And I mean, I'm being serious. It is like, it is wild. I was really, I was blown away. So what have you been doing, Bowen? Truly nothing. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:31:02 That means a lot to me. No. It's real. It's real. Grab my hand. Thank you, bitch. a lot to me. No. It's real. It's real. Crap my hand. Thank you, bitch. No, of course. I genuinely mean it.
Starting point is 00:31:09 I genuinely mean it. I think Matt has really, I think this is his year. Oh, gosh. I truly think this is his year. This is. Would we call last year your year? I would say. Well, not to say that you're not going to continue to have many years.
Starting point is 00:31:25 I'm not going to have a year like that in a little while for a while. No, I don't feel this way. No, here's the thing. You just don't know. There's no predicting anything. How do you feel about your year? This year was really kind of like a limbo year
Starting point is 00:31:39 because I did a lot of stuff in- 2017. That's when I felt like like yeah a little bit of work and then it started off the year really exciting with um i was making that show i i had that pilot yeah that was great thanks thanks man that's script yeah plus thank you uh i was very excited for it and then it didn't go and then it was it was called the demons of dorian gunn it was a pilot for pop tv and it starred the beautiful, talented... Jeffrey Self.
Starting point is 00:32:06 Jeffrey Self. My God. Isn't he just the best? Just the best. He really is. I died listening to his episode of the show with you guys. He was so... That was so fun.
Starting point is 00:32:13 He is... Talk about just like a unique presence of the world. A unique presence of the world who is just like disarmingly grounded, which sounds like you wouldn't suspect anything otherwise, but it's just like, you're like taken aback by like what a person he is. He's a star. You never forget. Oh, he's 100% a star.
Starting point is 00:32:30 You never forget. 100%. And the cast that we had too was like Chrissy Fitt and Latifah Holder and- Oh my God. John Benjamin. It was awesome. It was a good show.
Starting point is 00:32:39 Wasn't one Catherine Cohen in a small part? Catherine Cohen was in it. As a drunk girl? As a drunk girl. I think her official character name was lady on drugs uh but she was great she was so great the script was really fun oh thanks that's great yeah we had a good time we had a good time writing and we wrote a couple more and then uh they were like nope but uh that's okay and then so i think like this year was sort
Starting point is 00:33:01 of like after that then i had like i i did some uh fun stuff over the summer and then so i think like this year was sort of like after that then i had like i i did some fun stuff over the summer and then but then it sort of was like a quieter year quieter year yeah that was how i'm reflecting only thinking about that because it is the new year right now and then you do that little personal reflection yeah there is a great year i mean bowen has the year the year i think over the i think the like we just talked about this the the second half of the year for you was like wow second half was was fun but i'm also in this place now where i'm like huh i don't have anything that like has my name on it just mine that like i can put out there that i haven't that i've done in a while i think that will like i think i will i know part of it yeah i know i think yeah it's really even just like literally doing a live show that's like
Starting point is 00:33:44 your thing me on a stage i don't know and it's really even just like literally doing a live show that's like your thing me on a stage i don't know and it's not that's not like that's just something that like i'm craving that i haven't put out in a while yeah just and i am excited to potentially work on something it certainly felt good to like feel like so cool just to see you on stage well just to feel like you put all your energy and personality into one little thing and be like wow like and also like god i filmed it i almost did it oh my god but like i was like i can't believe what an idiot i was like i got the guy like i want to smack you so i thank god you did i would be like punching you right now i'm a violent man i felt like an idiot because i was
Starting point is 00:34:23 like wait i did this four times and i'm not gonna film it like am i insane like insane and that was my mistake last year i think i did i didn't film it and i was that's why this year like i'm happy with the way i went this year but like i'm thinking for i would kind of want to like go around with it and do it or do the show around let's do the show around i feel like you could just i mean like you could just take over radio and do it let's take over radio take over radio that's a fun heist little the rock cats will just take a break that night exactly i wish that's what widows was about it was just although i hear in widows that it's i haven't seen it but i hear it's like that they do the heist that it like builds up
Starting point is 00:34:59 to this heist and then it's like and then you cut to like we're about to do the heist and it cuts and they leave and they're like okay we just did the high no what widows is really good yeah it actually like i'm saying that's fine i i hear it builds in a funny way and then it like sort of oh for the payoff for the payoff of it like they just like you don't even see the heist happen which i think is great no you do yeah okay never mind then i'm working with false whoever told you this is a fool you're right don't be friends with them um wait you know who's really good in it who this actress who i didn't know before blonde elizabeth debicki oh god oh she's been in stuff i know she has i just never like this never like this great phenomenal actor she has a scene with viola which is like
Starting point is 00:35:45 really good which is the scene where they slap each other yeah viola slaps this woman across the face because she like fucked up and then elizabeth who's like this younger woman slaps her right back and says i'm done with people hurting me i'm done with what i'm done letting people treat me like that i was like on my couch and I went like this. You can't see it at home, but Matt described her bowing. I just went like this. Oh. What did he just do?
Starting point is 00:36:13 So he just de-craned his neck. He retreated it. It was enough to say, okay, bitch. Hey, bitch. Sticking to good habits is simple because the guiding features are like a built-in support system for better brushing in Quip. I love Quip so much. I've had one for the better part of a year now. And I tell this kind of story every single time I talk about Quip. My dental hygienist used to, like, neg and bully me every time I would get a cleaning.
Starting point is 00:37:06 She'd scrape off my plaque and she'd be like, wow, this is an appetizer for your dinner tonight. Ha ha. I'd be like, cool it. No more of this guff. Janine. I'm not going to tell you her real name. This fall on Bravo. It's time to turn up.
Starting point is 00:37:18 Think you've seen it all? I don't think you've been a good friend to me lately. We're friends like that. Who needs enemies? You ain't seen nothing yet. Cheers to being Germanic. With the Real Housewives of Potomac. Oh my gosh. Can I take this in? It's going to be lately. We're friends like that. Who needs enemies? You ain't seen nothing yet. Cheers to being Germanic. With the Real Housewives of Potomac. Oh my gosh, can I take this in? It's gonna be amazing.
Starting point is 00:37:29 New York City. Everyone is a gossip. No one gets a happier life. Salt Lake City. We don't wear costumes, we wear fashion. And below deck sailing. You broke the rules and now you're here getting upset. Watch all new seasons on Bravo or stream it on City TV+. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. Guess what, folks? All new seasons on Bravo or stream it on City TV+. Let's have a real good time.
Starting point is 00:37:45 I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. Guess what, folks? We're teammates again. And we're going to welcome you guys all to Dudes on Dudes. I'm a dude, you're a dude, and Dudes on Dudes is our brand new show. We're going to highlight players, peers, guys that we played against, legends from the past, and we're just going to sit here and talk about them.
Starting point is 00:38:06 And we'll get into the types of dudes. What kind of types of dudes are there, Gronk? We got studs, wizards. We got freaks. Or dudes dude. We got dogs. Dogs. We'll break down their games.
Starting point is 00:38:16 We'll share some insider stories and determine what kind of dude each of these dudes are. Is Randy Moss a stud or a freak? Is Tom Brady a dog or a dude's dude? We're going to find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:38:39 On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, a five-year-old boy floated alone in the ocean. He had lost his mother trying to reach Florida from Cuba. He looked like a little angel. I mean, he looked so fresh. And his name, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere. Elian Gonzalez. Elian Gonzalez. Elian.
Starting point is 00:39:00 Elian. Elian Gonzalez. At the heart of the story is a young boy and the question of who he belongs with. His father in Cuba. Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. At the heart of it all is still this painful family separation.
Starting point is 00:39:26 Something that as a Cuban, I know all too well. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, as part of the My Cultura podcast network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty, and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison
Starting point is 00:39:54 from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. We talk about guilt, shame, body image and huge life transformations. I was a desperate, delusional dreamer, and the desperate part got me in a lot of trouble. I encourage delusional dreamers. Be a delusional dreamer.
Starting point is 00:40:10 Just don't be a desperate, delusional dreamer. I just had such an anger. I was just so mad at life. Everything that wasn't right was everybody's fault but mine. I had such a victim mentality. I took zero accountability for anything in my life. I was the kid that if you asked what happened, I immediately started with everything but me. It took years for me to break that, like years of work.
Starting point is 00:40:31 Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. But anyway, I love Quip so much. And the reason I've been brushing better is because of Quip. And here's why. There's a built-in two-timer pulse every 30 seconds to remind you when to switch sides and help you clean your whole mouth evenly. And there's a multi-use cover that works as a stand, mounts to mirrors, and slides over your bristles to pack and protect your Quip on the go. Plus, there are no wires or a clunky charger, and it runs for three months on a single charge. Brush heads are automatically delivered on a dentist recommended schedule every three months for just $5. A friendly reminder when it's time for a refresh and to stay committed for your oral health or to your oral health or for,
Starting point is 00:41:14 but that was a slip that I want to keep. Andrew, Hot Producer Andrew, I'm telling Hot Producer Andrew to keep it. Okay, cool. So here's what you're going to do. You're going to go to get quip.com forward slash ding dong right now. And you can buy your quip starting at just $25 and get your first refill pack free. That's get quip.com forward slash ding dong for just $25 to start and first refill pack free. What a frigging' steal. I love Quip and over 1 million happy, healthy mouths do. Again, that's your first refill pack free at getquip.com forward slash D-I-N-G-D-O-N-G. Ooh, baby, baby. My hygienist's real name is Diane. Okay, I need to tell you guys why I am unique,
Starting point is 00:42:15 why there is no one else in the world like me, and here's why. There's no one in the world right now who is reading Amateur by Thomas Page McAbee, who is playing Kingdom Hearts 3 on the day of release, who, God, what else, is really stocking up on or is coming off of Whole30 after stocking up on a bunch of whole fresh foods. I am a very singular person. Do you know what I mean? And so are you in your own way. There's nobody in the planet like you. So why would you buy a generic mattress built for everyone else?
Starting point is 00:42:51 That's why Helix Sleep built a sleep quiz that takes two minutes to complete. And they use the answers to match your body type and sleep preferences to the perfect mattress. Whether you're a side sleeper, hot sleeper, cold sleeper, upside down sleeper, like a plush or firm bed. With Helix, there's no more guessing or confusion. Just go to helixsleep.com slash lasculturistas and take their two-minute sleep quiz, and they'll match you to a mattress that will give you the best sleep of your life. For couples, Helix can even split the mattress down the middle,
Starting point is 00:43:21 providing individual support needs and feel preferences on each side. They have a 10-year warranty, and you get to try it out for 100 nights risk-free. There are no catches to this. There's no asterisk on this, y'all. Get your Helix Sleep products today, and here's what you're going to do to help your journey. Go to helixsleep.com slash lasculturistas. Get up to $125 off all mattress orders. That's $125 off all mattress orders. I am probably going to pull the trigger on this very soon because I am on the market for a new bed. And I need it to fit me for when I'm playing Tales of Vesperia on my Switch, you know? Like no one else is going to do that except me, and I need a bed that's custom-made for that experience.
Starting point is 00:44:09 So, helixsleep.com slash lascultures for $125 off your mattress order. One more time, that is helixsleep.com slash lascultures. If you're playing Tales of Vesperia or Kingdom Hearts 3, hit me up. Let's talk some JRPGs, because we talk about like a bunch of, a bunch of westernized stuff on this podcast. I think I need a space
Starting point is 00:44:30 to talk about Eastern culture. Okay, bye. I've never seen Brandon like this in the other two. Honestly, let's talk about this though. The other two, like BSJ and Drew Tarver, that relationship is something that you don't see on TV
Starting point is 00:44:50 where it's, like, two platonic gay friends. Gay male friends. Hey, that's really cool that you said that because that is the one thing that I, even though I don't know what their intention was with that character or whatever, I remember when I was getting the opportunity to do it, I was like, I love this.
Starting point is 00:45:03 I love playing just his friend he's also gay it's it's it you leave it at that i also just love playing drew tarver's friend because he is he's the best because he really is your friend he really is my friend he i i always considered him like oh an enemy always yeah i mean like i call him a friend but he's really enemy he's not a frenemy because it's like no no we're friends we're friends but you're my enemy remember that night at the comedy central thing oh my god we had that horrible night where we had no fun with the three of us didn't have any fun together zero just it was such a joyless evening no oh my god we had the best time we were
Starting point is 00:45:41 at that comedy central it was like i think tarver and I were comics to watch and you had hosted it. And we all were there at the party and we were just being the dumbest. There's photos of us in the bathroom with our pants off. Yes. Do you remember that? I do remember that. There's photos of us lying down in the middle of the party. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:59 And Josh Sharp was there too. We were in a fucking pile. Yeah. We were like in a pile on the ground. Like who was, first of all, who took that photo yeah yeah it was professional photos it was professional do you remember oh my god it was that one guy that was there who was like taking professional photos and he came into the bathroom with us oh right to take those photos so at one point during this five men went into one bathroom with a camera and came out with some yeah a pile of dumb ass
Starting point is 00:46:24 white gays yeah that's a porn setup with no payoff yeah. A pile of dumbass white gays. That's a porn setup with no payoff. Yeah. It's true. There was no payoff that night. There was literally, no,
Starting point is 00:46:30 I think I got into a cab and like was like, went straight to like a halal food place and I was like, all right, I gotta go home. No,
Starting point is 00:46:36 he's truly the best. I love him so much. He's great in the show. And he's so good in the show. And you guys just had Helena on too. We had Helena. We're having Drew.
Starting point is 00:46:44 You're having Drew? Yes. Oh my gosh. It's gonna, it's gonna guys this i mean you guys have already seen the episodes i got a chance to see them too it is such a good show wait you guys hear that oh yeah that's the truck okay i was like oh wow it's a show that i was telling helena that like captures like the tone of life whatever tone of life but like the the things the realities that we sort of live in where it's like oh my god yeah like that is something that happens like there is this thing that happens where like you're hanging out with a group of other gay people and they're like oh my god you do anything and they're like you're so funny yeah and like so like spoiler alert that's like a bit in like one of the episodes and like just there there are truths that are captured
Starting point is 00:47:22 that are so funny funny and fun to watch jimmy fowley what that plays that lead insta thought was on the show in la and i i had always wanted to meet jimmy and so i met jimmy now can call him a friend okay great not an enemy he is so funny in that part like all those days were so funny oh that one there's that one guy who has like that huge smile and it's yeah i love that that's a great it's very cool the way it was cast too it's very like like it's every episode sooty's in it sooty's in it yeah every episode like there's someone that you're like oh yeah this is very exciting yeah and but also i think that like even if we didn't we got we're lucky enough to like know maybe a lot of the people like that were in it yeah uh but i think
Starting point is 00:48:03 even if you don't you're gonna like well you're gonna wish you did because it's just like you fall in love with these people every character is so vivid which is another thing we talked with helena about how i guess that sarah snyder and that chris kelly know what the fuck they're doing i guess they might have i guess they might have some talent finally somebody's got to say it and i guess it has to be breaking news right here breaking news maybe the episode is also called breaking news breaking news chris kelly maybe the episode is also called breaking news breaking news chris kelly and sarah schneider talented um wait what was i just gonna say oh we were talking with helena about how like she said the culture that informed her was austin powers oh sure yeah and
Starting point is 00:48:38 i said like what's cool about the other two and i love shows like this where every character every supporting character no matter big nor small is just all so vivid like wanda sykes is unreal on the show she she says she gets like the biggest laugh out of me she just says the word she goes sure and the way when she says it once and it's just do elena it is just amazing oh my god that's not that's a we can cut that part out no we're not gonna cut that out okay all right okay why because you know what i'm a fucking prestige actress and i demand my edit who oh and we respect the edit who who yeah are the prestige actresses right now that are lighting your fire the hardest the hardest who are the prestige okay um the genuinely like the prestige actresses that are lighting my fire
Starting point is 00:49:26 the hardest i like putting him on the spot with the weird it's fine to put people on the spot on an interview podcast it is okay it's actually fine that is the tea honey you're always like i feel put on the spot you're putting them on the spot. Bitch, they came to Las Colchas. The venom. I have venom. I'm a snake. I'm a white, hot, rock hair snake. So anyway. Yes.
Starting point is 00:49:52 No. You're right. I should remember that I was invited to be on this podcast by a third party. No, no direct contact with either of you in setting this up. And I should respect. How did we come so far? I know, yeah. I mean, I remember when this podcast started
Starting point is 00:50:08 and you guys were, what, 12 episodes in and you had this old bag of shit on and I came in. I knew that the I Don't Think So Honey was coming and I thought,
Starting point is 00:50:17 God, I really hope these boys go somewhere. And now look at them having a third party set up their guests. A lovely, lovely person named Sam. Sam.
Starting point is 00:50:26 We love Sam. Yes, exactly. She's been doing a great fucking job. I'm sure. Yes, no. Yes, she has. I've agreed. No, I know.
Starting point is 00:50:33 And look, the fact of the matter is you're here. Yeah, exactly. You've been posed a question. I like Debicki. I like her. You like Debicki. I like Debicki. What's her name from Mamma Mia 2?
Starting point is 00:50:44 Oh, Christine Baranski? Yeah, Jesus. Lily James? Lily James. Lily James. Miss Lily James. Miss Lily James. We love her.
Starting point is 00:50:52 You still haven't seen Baby Driver. I haven't seen Baby Driver. She's so good in Baby Driver. She's great in Baby Driver just because of the way she's like, Baby, baby, baby, baby. She's so funny in it. She does that? She just puts on the crazy American,
Starting point is 00:51:06 like Southern accent. Oh, I love that. It's basically that. Our old pal Ansel's in it. Oh yeah, your old pal Ansel. We interviewed Ansel and he threw the vulture hat. He screamed at us.
Starting point is 00:51:20 He said it was bad merch, right? He said it was bad merch. It wasn't our merch. Guess what, guys? I'm a fan of both of you. I see videos you guys post okay so i know what you're talking about thank you you know i'm actually this is a hostily kind podcast hostily kind it's great it's hostily kind i'm doing uh sundance for vulture oh fun oh my god are you gonna be there no okay the way you described me made me feel like. No, but Sundance is so fun.
Starting point is 00:51:45 I'm really excited. Have you ever been? No. It's so beautiful. Well, the surrounding. It was just like the mountains. I was only there for like a couple days. I mean, yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:52 Provo, Utah? Provo? No. Park City. Park City. Park City, yeah. Park City and the list of people that I got that I'm going to meet. Whom?
Starting point is 00:52:00 You can't say. No, you can't say. I mean, I think I. Mouth one. I will just say one. Okay. Just say one. That's fine. That's good. I's good three letters okay okay j o c what what is she doing there apparently there's a documentary about her like candidacy and then successful campaign and surprise upset and now what she's doing apparently they captured it that's beautiful i can't knock down the house
Starting point is 00:52:24 i'm really really excited and you're gonna talk to her i'm gonna talk to her for 10 to 15 and you have to talk to her about drag race i i'm gonna talk to her about drag race so literally i was like what am i gonna talk to aoc about because i was like there's so much i know but you'll you'll know just talk about um green new deal talk about fucking all just whatever I do want to get her drag race takes yes I want to find out what she thinks about Cuomo all of a sudden being like actually the L's not shutting down
Starting point is 00:52:52 that's fine you have to ask her about that no and then talking to her about drag race on vulture is perfect I know yeah I the thing is like when we last did that yeah like and I just was that Tribeca it was we did a Tribeca and then we did vulture fest and it's like we had that weird thing with tracy morgan oh sure sure so i just told them like i'm
Starting point is 00:53:11 just gonna be fun the whole time and like you know yeah and they're like that's great that's what we want you to do so it's like i'm not gonna come in there with any hard fucking questions i want everything to just be fun yeah yeah exactly you know make it fun you're not gonna like call someone you're not gonna like do the research, pin somebody down. I'm not going to figure out what any of them are actually there for. That's very funny. All right. I'm looking at you and I think you might be in a movie about saving animals. Right.
Starting point is 00:53:35 From the swamp. From the swamp. From the swamp. The list of people is fucking crazy. Is it cool? I'll show you later, but it's crazy. Some of them are,
Starting point is 00:53:43 but I will say that aoc is going to be there i'm really that's so cool oh my gosh wow oh my god because we actually reached out i love anthony when she first i love anthony we anthony we reached out to her we reached out to her to beyond las coderitas when she first won the primary like idiots like like as if her like she wasn't immediately becoming like a national superstar we were like yeah see if she wants to come on like reach out through channels i think it's still possible that she's that she doesn't i don't think so honey i think it totally is you get yeah oh my god that would be great that'd be fun oh i would love that oh you're
Starting point is 00:54:20 beaming i bet she'd be really good oh yeah you know i met um alessandra biagi oh yeah when i did the uh nightlight with lauren duca oh that's fun oh wow state senator states yes yeah another one that's knocking down the house did you vote for her um i she wasn't she wasn't in your district okay she wasn't running in my district but you can you can know for sure that i always vote for progressive candidate you can know you can know always you can look at me and you would know are you guys progressive um i'm republican yes i'm more of a um moderate republican i want to say moderate republican yeah i'm a moderate, talk about what makes you a Republican. I'll tell you 100%. We know that, Bowen, it's fiscal. It is very fiscal.
Starting point is 00:55:09 For me, it's very social. And I just don't think that... The concept at its core of charity just disgusts me. And when I look at both parties and I see the Democrats and I'm like, okay, that's charity. When I see liberals, I'm like'm like okay stop giving it away yeah it devalues what i've earned right okay i have a macbook i have a casper yes i have that's yeah that is two great those are two great things and and yeah and my parents are actually i don't have a casper of I have a Casper ripoff. Oh, well, we love those.
Starting point is 00:55:46 Yeah. So anyway, I'm a Republican. You're a Republican. And for you. Well, fiscally, you said. But that's because my parents are a private prison. Yeah. Yeah, your parents are.
Starting point is 00:55:54 So, okay. Can we... Wait. The other two. I just want to keep talking about this because I feel like that... I just... I do really want to talk about you and Drew,
Starting point is 00:56:03 your characters being like two gay pals because i feel like it it has been explored on tv but i feel like not in this like frivolous way where it's almost always hooked up in the past yes like it's always a thing it's like even i'm looking it's like oh yeah jonathan groff and the older guy yeah um they had hooked up right and then i think in the movie they even talked about hooking up again sure sure and i was like yeah which i get it's like i so many of my gay friends like that is like you know no secret like dave and i like in the beginning dated you know what i mean like a lot i would say like honestly 50 probably of my gay friends like not and it's like it's like
Starting point is 00:56:43 that's just kind of I guess how a lot of people figure things out yeah it's also expression too yeah it's expression it's about being an artist it's sort of fucked up well it's a fucked up reality like we just accept
Starting point is 00:56:59 we have to accept it yeah but I feel like it's like we have to accept it but I feel like I like like having platonic gay relationship has been one of my favorite things that i've ever had in my entire life i just like reconnected with an old friend that i hadn't seen in a long time but he was like my best one of my best friends growing up and we like reconnected and we're just fun it was just it's just been so great to have that and it's like we've never had any of that history or anything like that but it is great i don't Yeah. And they work together at a restaurant, which is, of course, where gays become friends. Become friends.
Starting point is 00:57:29 Become friends and gain their socioeconomic power. Yeah. I thought for the entire time we were shooting that this was just like a wacky show about gay waiters. And apparently it really wasn't. Oh, my God. I love the acting class stuff where it feels like Barry for a little bit. It does.
Starting point is 00:57:47 It's definitely very Barry. I also love that the characters not only wait tables together. Do you think the characters wait tables together and then they signed up for an acting class together? You know what? Actually, that's a great question. Here's my thought process.
Starting point is 00:58:00 It was that I feel like my character's been in this acting class for a long time but quit acting a years ago but just doesn't to like which just doesn't just doesn't to stay in it because sometimes he gets a good note and that means a lot to him and then I think he was like Carrie you should come and do this class and Carrie was like okay I'm sure there's actually lines that describe how they got into it. And I just didn't read that part. Again, skip the dramaturgical work.
Starting point is 00:58:29 Exactly. Yeah, because I don't even see a character name. I just see lines in a script and I was like, okay, I'll say that. And the number of times I've auditioned for things and they've been like, that's the other part. And I'm like, no, no, no. The character would say that.
Starting point is 00:58:41 Wait, really? Yeah. And so what I also like to do, here's another thing i also don't learn my lines yeah i always said this i've always said this i said don't learn your lines because if the other if you are doing your job you will get the other person to say their line you know what i'm saying if you want me if the lines fuck you i can say fuck you to anybody yeah but you get me to say fuck you and so i'm not gonna learn the line all right it's
Starting point is 00:59:03 like gravid Water. I get it. Every scene should be Gravid Water. This is great because I'm going out for pilot season and I need this advice. You're going to be in L.A. right? I'm going to be in L.A. Yay, I'll see you there. I'll see you there.
Starting point is 00:59:15 Everyone's going. To L.A. Yeah, everyone. Everyone. You'll have to stay here with your amazing job. Shut up. BSJ, this is a great segue into uh isn't it romantic bsj loves his question titles in his movies can y'all forgive me famously a question isn't it romantic famously a question the other two bsj was really on top of all his being off book.
Starting point is 00:59:45 You guys kissed. We kissed. We do kiss in this movie. In this movie. This is a little bit of a, I don't know if this is a spoiler for the film. I don't think it is. I don't think it's a spoiler.
Starting point is 00:59:54 You guys kissed in the film. We kissed in the film. On camera in front of many crew. In front of many crew. In front of many crew. In front of rebelness. How many times did you kiss? Okay, it wasn't more than 10.
Starting point is 01:00:06 It wasn't more than 10. We did like seven takes total. We did like, yeah, we did seven takes total, and three of which we kissed twice. So then four and then six. Was Rebel commenting on how hot it was? Yeah. Well, every time we kissed, she'd be like,
Starting point is 01:00:23 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah oh yeah the guy i love it no i can't no i am i cold it's the are you in touch with her you you guys are friends we're friends we're friendly what is she even up to now she i think everything is she just like didn't she just like do cats the musical oh, the movie? Oh, wow. She's in the movie? With Jennifer Hudson. With Jennifer Hudson. And Taylor Swift. As I know her, Taylor Swift.
Starting point is 01:00:52 Okay. Matt, this is how much Matt loves saying Taylor Swift. He, back when we were in a sketch group together, he brought in a sketch where the entire game was just his character saying, I love Taylor Swift. And then everyone else in the sketch straight manning and being like, no, Matt, it's Taylor Swift. And then you find out that he just mispronounces everything.
Starting point is 01:01:22 It was so bad. It's not even like a hack is good it wasn't even like a hacky like it wasn't even a hacky outward it's like oh he has he's having a stroke it was like oh he's just an idiot I was really excited about that I was really excited about the premise and actually
Starting point is 01:01:40 even recently I tried to do something with Taylor Swift like something comedic like do and soon i talked about this oh i tweeted it i was like taylor swift and then it did like fine wait that wasn't something you tried with no i was like i was like i was like what did i say i said what i i tweeted out when on christmas i give a gif my favorite shopping is thrift and my singer is taylor swift and i was like this is my first tweet of this month and it did good oh nice that's good good you know what i think that's good i just think it's so funny from you imagine this imagine
Starting point is 01:02:19 this situation you see her on the red carpet and it's like nancy odell and she's like today we're here we're taylor swift and she's like taylor's just like what um we love the new album tell us about this new swift sound it's it's and nancy odell's already run afoul of taylor on the red carpet in the past oh iconically and so now it's just like, Nancy can't get it right with Taylor. Nancy can't get it right with Taylor. Which is the title of the sketch. Nancy can't get it right with Taylor. You wrote a whole sketch
Starting point is 01:02:53 about Taylor Swift and I truly can't believe it. I still think about that today. So was there like a moment that you bring it in and there's like a read through? Yeah. Did it get to its feet? I think it was the first thing i presented that day i was like i'm excited about this one and we were all like and then we all gave notes didn't make it into the show and then sudi and i gave notes we were like okay so um like this i feel we feel like
Starting point is 01:03:17 you can activate the heightens a little bit more we were like what do you do blah blah it's fine one time sudi and I wrote... Have we talked about this ever? No. One time, Sudi and I brought in a sketch to Popperlette. Oh, was it good? Okay, so... So this is a bit of a dicey story.
Starting point is 01:03:34 Basically, what happened was someone... We're going to tell it. We're going to tell it. Someone in the sketch group was very late to rehearsal. This was often a thing that happened. Like, someone would be late. And it was like often a thing with Popperlette often the same person or just somebody would always be well this one person wasn't not late all the time but you know it was it was like they were 25 minutes late and we needed to rehearse
Starting point is 01:03:54 so i get a text that the person is downstairs having a really hard time getting into the building tish and so i go downstairs and like it's like a scene it's like the guy the security guard at the front is like really not letting her through because like she had like an out of date. Um, ID. I NYU ID. So I had to sign her in.
Starting point is 01:04:13 And as we're going, getting in the elevator, she turns to me and she goes, that was the most reverse racist thing I've ever. So then I was like, uh, and then she repeats that line
Starting point is 01:04:26 when she comes into the room and Sudi and I are just sitting there like oh my god I'm sorry what and she was like it was reverse racist and she kept saying
Starting point is 01:04:33 reverse racist and like I guess it's sort of forgivable this was back in like it was a long time ago 2013 where that vocabulary
Starting point is 01:04:42 was just starting to be shaped around it like whatever but like at the time Sudi and I were like oh okay so the way that they decided to like wow tackle this was not
Starting point is 01:04:56 by saying in the moment hey this is not acceptable language they brought in a musical sketch to the next rehearsal which was called reverse racism which was real it's not about how it's not real and they were just yelling and it really wasn't that funny it was kind of just like bully well it was kind of just like yelling at this girl for doing it and so we all literally i remember we all read it and then it was just like we were
Starting point is 01:05:22 like yeah it's good i remember i gave notes and I was like I just think you know probably there could be more jokes it seems like you guys wrote this with more of an agenda and probably there could be more jokes there's no jokes so then we literally and this girl was there and she was like yeah I liked it and then like two two sketches go by and she goes
Starting point is 01:05:40 wait guys I actually don't feel comfortable with that and there was this silence and I looked at you guys and I was like't feel comfortable with that. And there was this silence. And I looked at you guys and I was like, I mean, I think you probably owe her an apology. And I remember Sudi rolled her eyes so hard and was like, I'm sorry. But and then we got into the conversation, which we should have just had in the beginning. To write an entire song. Poe and Sudi are bullies and vicious. I mean, that's the most. It's Carly Simon level. to write an entire song so passive aggressive
Starting point is 01:06:05 and vicious that's the most that's Carly Simon level it's so it's no one was right in that situation no
Starting point is 01:06:13 there was there were no good guys like a bad decision bad decisions yes but also like once we talked about it it was fine
Starting point is 01:06:20 but it was Trump was right there were no good guys there were no good guys there were no good guys but that was that was a moment oh my god oh wow wait a minute i just have to mention that the the day that we shot our stuff um for isn't it romantic was the day it was right after charlottesville and it was like the country was going insane oh do you remember this uh it was
Starting point is 01:06:41 late august it was late late august 2017 and whatever i mean yeah bringing down the mood so hard but like that was the day of there were there were um many people on on both sides like that was the day oh that was yeah i was i was reading all this all these tweets and reading all these articles locked into a closet of a trailer just being like the country's ending like like this country is that was a particularly bad that but that was like a dark day anyway but then i had to go but then i had to go kiss brandon had to like what day does it come out isn't it romantically february 14th oh valentine's day yeah i think it's february 13th so it'll be the valentine's day movie yes absolutely yes exactly
Starting point is 01:07:22 famously that spot used to be taken by 50 shades movies and now there's a there's a vacuum and i think isn't a romantic is gonna take the crown home can i ask if is there any sexy scenes in the movie with liam uh i know we see it's a whole bit i mean that's like the whole thing it's like it's a fun sketch in that like she's living in this world she wakes up in a world that is that has that is governed by the rules of a rom-com. And so anytime there is a sex scene, it cuts to the next day. So it's sort of funny.
Starting point is 01:07:52 That's like a little spoiler. So she never gets it in with Liam. You don't want to spoil it. I don't want to spoil anything. It's very fun. You guys just did a film with two actors who are now married to humongous pop stars.
Starting point is 01:08:10 Oh, Priyanka and Liam. Yeah. Oh, right. Yeah. I know. I sent Priyanka an Applebee's gift card for her wedding. Did you really? No.
Starting point is 01:08:21 You should have. That would have been so fucking funny. I know. She would love it. I think I texted Betty Gilpin. I was like, you want to go in on this? She did not respond. But that would have been so funny.
Starting point is 01:08:33 So funny. Yeah. To send her just 25 bucks to Applebee's. Love that. Oh my gosh. Half off apps every night after 10. Exactly. After 10, honestly, get the chocolate molten lava cake.
Starting point is 01:08:43 It is to die for and perfect for two. Wow. Yeah. Pri and Nick. Back in the day, I used to fucking kill it at Applebee's after 10 p.m. Oh, sure. Yeah. Spinach dip.
Starting point is 01:08:56 Spinach dip. Applebee's is a good little moment. Yeah. When you're at an Applebee's, you're there for a reason. You're there for a reason. Do you have a favorite chain? I was gonna say I'm a Chili's queen
Starting point is 01:09:06 Chili's is really good too I love Chili's yeah I like Chili's Cajun chicken pasta classic yeah I'm a TGA Fridays girl yeah are you really
Starting point is 01:09:14 you like that Jack Daniels I love that the barbecue I think they have the best wings and kind of you like the decorations for me it's like for me it's like
Starting point is 01:09:21 the wings define the place like if the I wanna go where the best wings are yeah if the wings are good then the quality trickles down into the rest of the menu I would I would because they took the okay I see that they took care of their keystone species right and so everything else in the food
Starting point is 01:09:38 chain literally makes sense and I feel it's like well at least the wings were good yeah what I mean like if something comes out and it was like oh this cheese this on my Monterey Jack isn't melted all the way. You know what I mean? Like it's like you're still out of chain, but at least the wings were good. At least the wings were good is a good, like I feel like you hear that, like you're in
Starting point is 01:09:55 the car with your family driving away from the TGI Fridays or your friends and it's silent for a little bit because maybe the car is still cold and you finally like pull out of the parking lot and then you you're on the road, and then finally somebody breaks the silence. Well, at least the wings were good. The wings were good. And then everyone cacophonously is like, yeah, yeah, yeah, they were great.
Starting point is 01:10:13 They were great. Oh, my God. Put them that Taylor Swift song. I wanna be your end game. Taylor Swift. Wanna be your first thing. Did you guys happen to, I know you've seen at least
Starting point is 01:10:26 a little bit of it because we watched it but you didn't see I've almost clicked on it but then I've what we're talking about is the reputation world stadium stadium stadium who is it great I love it yeah did you see it live did you see it my friend Rob and I went and
Starting point is 01:10:42 it was really fun like it was it was like that moment she had like the guests she had Camila Cabello and Charlie XCX and there was no guest at the one I was at but Troye Sivan was at one day which would have been really cool oh man she
Starting point is 01:10:58 I love him Leland the guy who co-writes a lot of his songs wrote for the other two yeah isn't that wild that's so funny we're trying to get him on the pod oh my gosh what an awesome what a cool talent speaking of talent
Starting point is 01:11:13 speaking of talent speaking of talent I have one more wings question for you guys okay boneless or bone oh I thought you said Bowen oh yeah yeah me too boneless wings or bowen yang i know i know boneless is like i know boneless is like so juvenile um and if i'm in a wing then that's like so fun but i feel like i gotta go boneless but that makes me a child i know i don't know i think it's like fine to just like to be eating all of it.
Starting point is 01:11:49 You know what I mean? Like the thing about the wings is convenient to just pop it in your mouth. Yeah. And also, you know, I feel like you can dip more. And like the thing about wings with the bone is when you dip in the sauce, like oftentimes,
Starting point is 01:12:01 like the sauce will get mostly on like the bone part or you know what i mean and also it really drives me crazy when people eat wings and they don't eat everything you're dipping the bone into the sauce no i'm just saying that because the way that you hold the wing with your hand and you dip it into the sauce no part of the bone is being exposed to the sauce i don't know what you're talking about well i'm just saying that oftentimes like just the shape of the wing like when you dip it into the wing sauce or whatever you're dipping it into like i feel that the blue cheese or the ranch the blue cheese what do you feel it gets on the top of the wing and that's not the edible good part are you talking about a drumstick though you're
Starting point is 01:12:36 not talking about a drumstick you're not talking and the thighs are even harder the flats yeah yeah the flats the wings or whatever they are i just think, you know, it's really a lot going on. There is. There's really a lot going on. But I pick Bowen Yang. Okay, yeah. Honestly, boneless wings or Bowen Yang? Bowen Yang. Between boneless wings and Bowen Yang, I do pick Bowen. Yeah, I do pick Bowen too. To dip.
Starting point is 01:12:58 To dip. Just to have. Yeah, just to have. Just to have on my plate. To have to hold. Like, to have to hold. But that's crazy because if we literally had a nationwide vote right now. Wings would win. Wings would win, I think, because most people are very well known. But out of everyone in the country, most people don't know you. They know wings.
Starting point is 01:13:18 They know wings. So that's a really scary thought, though. That's where we are at Trump's America. People would pick wings over a human being. We have to remember. Hey, HPA, can we just make a note? On the day that this releases, text me to make sure that I do an Instagram story poll. Bow and yang or boneless.
Starting point is 01:13:34 Or boneless wings. Thank you. Thank you, Andrew. And I'm really scared of the results. I know. You don't actually have to do this. I'm so sorry. No, you do.
Starting point is 01:13:41 You do. Okay, great. Do you do? I mean, does that upset the median of what what it is like if you're like the the the if you're the person posting it and you are bowen you're right so then i'll post it text me hpa text me make sure that i know on the day of release to put up a instagram story which is boneless wings or bow and yang yes yes boneless wings or bow and yang we'll we'll really find out who thinks you're delicious my name is taylor swift ha ha this is my world tour We're going to every city Name them
Starting point is 01:14:25 Nashville, Tennessee Columbus, Ohio Oslo San Francisco, California Oslo, Norway Trinidad Tobago Zurich
Starting point is 01:14:35 Zurich, Switzerland Sydney, Australia Brisbane, Australia Melbourne, Australia And then Perth Kyoto We're going to Kyoto The temples perth kyoto we're going to kyoto the temples the pagoda
Starting point is 01:14:47 we're going to we're doing a show at a pagoda she all of a sudden talks like we're doing us a tour um she talks like nikki minaj leah remini leah remini are leah and jayla like actually they're like friends from way back legit best friends that's so crazy like they've known each other for a while you have to literally either read the book which is leo remini escape from scientology which is the name i make the name i make up yeah that's called yeah i call it leo remini escape from like it's a fucking show leo remini verse scientology like she's fighting it um that sounds like also like a good ride at an amusement park honestly when i own a theme park one day one ride will
Starting point is 01:15:30 be called leah remedy escape from scientology the pre-show will be her being like all right everyone get in get in the screen of her should be like get in hurry there's not a lot of time all right me and my friend jen have to drive kind of person who drives you downtown I'm the kind of person who takes A whole bunch of people Here at Matt Rogers Land And we go down to the search of Scientology So we can really figure out what's going on Because they're people
Starting point is 01:15:54 After the ride, go to the gift shop Because I'm the kind of person who goes to the gift shop Because I'm the kind of person who after I get off the ride I go to the gift shop And I'm the kind of person who really keeps his arms and legs inside the ride I'm the kind of person who really keeps his arms and legs inside the ride. I'm the kind of person who would never touch an animatronic, which there will be
Starting point is 01:16:10 many. And I'm the kind of person who's telling you right now, if you have heart, back, neck, or problems with a sensitivity to strobe lighting, or you're a Scientologist, you can't get me on this ride! I have a question for you. On this ride, are the animatronics, are they actual moving animatronics, or is it just, like, frozen? Is it, like, Seven Dwar ride, are the animatronics, are they actual moving animatronics or is it just like frozen?
Starting point is 01:16:26 No. Is it like Seven Dwarves where it's like the screen is being projected onto their face? Like, do you know what I mean? Like how into the mansion? Of course I do. My animatronics in my park
Starting point is 01:16:35 will be state of the art. Like Westworld? Yes. You'll be able to fuck. But right now, but right now with the- You'll be able to fucking kill everything in my park.
Starting point is 01:16:49 Fuck and kill. But what that, state of the art animatronics right now but right now with the you'll be able to fucking kill everything in my park fuck and kill but what that state-of-the-art animatronics right now means something different john travolta that's fine oh miscavige miscavige yeah i think david i think i yeah yeah i think i think travolta might be turning a court running a corner right now what after them after the 30 years he's not wearing a toupee anymore really really do you see his instagram he's like fully bald and like has like looks like stone cold steve austin like looks kind of good okay i think he might be like he might be going opposite of clear i i know this is cloudy cloudy this this is what i had to say he's going cloudy this is what I had to say. State-of-the-art animatronics now in industry parlance means Elsa moving around, but her face is just
Starting point is 01:17:32 an LED screen that's flashing a digital emotion. I feel that we don't necessarily have to go that route with my John Travolta audio animatronics. Of course, there's going to be a Tom Cruise audio animatronic. And of course, in every scene be a Tom Cruise audio animatronic. Yes. And of course, in every scene, there's a Leah animatronic being like,
Starting point is 01:17:49 come on, we got to go this way. Hurry up. What the fuck? Let's go. Jennifer's not going to wait. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you never see Jennifer in the ride, but it's understood. And she's a voiceover who's driving the car. What's Kevin James' show, the current show?
Starting point is 01:18:02 Kevin Can Wait. Kevin Can Wait. Come on. I think it got canceled. Come on, Kevin Can Wait Kevin Can Wait come on I think it got cancelled come on Kevin Can Wait but we can't it's so funny
Starting point is 01:18:08 that she just they just kicked out the female Leah and then she came in like that is my Leah Remini obsession it's hilarious yeah
Starting point is 01:18:16 hilarious and cruel and like Leah's cruel Leah's fucking cold blooded I don't think that Leah's not crazy
Starting point is 01:18:24 there you go i mean yeah i mean like at the end but for the purposes of the ride it's important that we're on her side yeah no i think so too i mean so wait but so just to be clear about what this ride is leah keeps popping up throughout the ride so she's running alongside the car yeah yeah yeah so j-lo is driving the car because she has the fastest cars. J-Lo has the fastest cars. J-Lo has the fastest cars in all of Hollywood, and that's the justification for why you get in a J-Lo car.
Starting point is 01:18:54 Will Lea say that? Will she be like, as you all know? Yeah, like, you got to go with my best friend's car, Jennifer Lopez. She has the fastest cars in all of Hollywood. I swear to God. All right, I'm the kind of person who's going to hook you up, put on seatbelts on or off we can't even go and then you get in you get in the car and then you turn the corner and it's like it's like very like for those of you
Starting point is 01:19:13 that have been to theme parks like it's very spider-man it's very transformers like where there's screens and there's like this is the narrative you're wearing 3d glasses that which are to protect you from um sparkles no from when they come to probe you not what in scientology they uh what do they do they they remove the electrodes the electrodes the thetans are coming and it's the glasses are your anti-theaton goggles oh i love that yeah here's what i think it is it starts in new york it starts in the center in new york yeah yeah and and like the one in times. Well, the line is literally. It's redesigned to look like the Scientology Center in New York.
Starting point is 01:19:49 But then it ends. It ends. It's in mini Times Square of Matt Rogers land. You drive in Draylo's car all the way to LA. Yeah. And then you do the media. You do the media center that's on Sunset, I think. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:20:00 And there's a drop sequence in the media center. Oh, really? And then the media center goes into the blue building. And then blue building goes into the media center. Oh, really? It goes into the blue building, and then blue building goes into the celebrity center, and then it ends at UCB. It ends at UCB. But it never goes to Clearwater, Florida. No, no, no.
Starting point is 01:20:13 No, Florida's not a big sequel. The gift shop has all UCB paraphernalia. The gift shop has all, like, don't think sweatshirts and, like, all that shit. Love that. Wow. Yeah. And just CISO merch. has all like don't think sweatshirts and like all that shit love that wow yeah and just see so much okay so at some point in every lost culture east this episode i brandish the fact that i am in
Starting point is 01:20:34 therapy and that matt is not but don't worry we'll get him there but if you are also uh thinking about getting a therapist but aren't sure where to start, BetterHelp.com online counseling is there for you. BetterHelp makes it easy to connect with licensed professional counselors, caring professionals specializing in the issues that you want to talk about. Whether it's depression, stress, or anxiety, or trauma, or grief, or self-esteem issues, or any combination of those things, BetterHelp can help connect you with your counselor in a safe and private environment. So you can get help at your own time and at your own pace. You can schedule secure video and phone sessions or text your therapist, all included worldwide,
Starting point is 01:21:12 and you can start communicating in under 24 hours. That is huge. That is the biggest roadblock for a lot of people in my experience, and I was just antsy to get it going. But with BetterHelp, there's almost no lead time in that way where you're not latently sitting around waiting to talk to someone and get to whatever thoughts or emotions you have out and in the open. And, you know, you're able to start making sense of things in a very quick way. And best of all, it's a truly affordable option. And
Starting point is 01:21:42 for Las Culturistas listeners, you can get 10% off your first month with discount code DINGDONG. All one word. If you've been wanting to talk to someone, get started today and go to betterhelp.com forward slash DINGDONG and simply fill out the questionnaire to help them assess your needs and get matched with a counselor you'll love and one that you can always change if necessary. So that's betterhelp.com forward slash ding dong with promo code ding dong. Ooh, every now and then I love feeling the fantasy of being a domestic bitch. Yes, I am Nigella Lawson. My father was the chancellor of the Exchequer. That is the fantasy, honey.
Starting point is 01:22:25 And one of my favorite, favorite meal delivery services that I like to use in helping that fantasy is Green Chef. Green Chef is a USDA certified organic company that makes eating well easy and affordable with plans to fit every kind of lifestyle. Was that a long walk to that? I don't think it was. Just listen up. I love Green think it was. Just listen up. I love Green Chef so much. Green Chef lets you choose from a wide array of easy-to-follow lifestyles
Starting point is 01:22:49 with select organic ingredients. So many plans like paleo, vegan, vegetarian, pescatarian, Mediterranean, heart smart, lean and clean, keto, gluten-free, and omnivore are all included. It's truly probably one of the most inclusive meal delivery services out there. There's something for everyone. With Green Chef, it's easy to eat well and discover new recipes
Starting point is 01:23:10 every week that you'll love to cook. And you can switch up your meal plan whenever you're ready to try a new way to eat. It's convenient and easy. Green Chef makes achieving your 2019 goals so simple with dinner options that work around your lifestyle, not the other way around. So if you want to be the Whole30 Nigella Lawson that I am currently experiencing and embodying right now, I need you to go to greenchef.us forward slash ding dong. Because I just made the sesame chicken stir fry last night. It was Whole30 friendly, paleo technically, but so, so delicious, so easy. It came together in 25 minutes. I had all my ingredients out. It's very, you know, mise en place. Is that what it is? When like it's the French way of cooking where you just lay out all your ingredients beforehand so that all the prep is out. Oh my goodness. it was so heavenly. I love Green Chef so much.
Starting point is 01:24:06 So again, that's greenchef.us forward slash ding dong. Greenchef.us forward slash ding dong for $50 off your first box of Green Chef. $50 off your first box of Green Chef. And then you can DM me and then we'll both chat about how we're both being Nigella Lawsons and that our father is a former chancellor of the exchequer which in the uk is the equivalent of like um like the
Starting point is 01:24:32 like the economic head right yeah okay uk people just let me know if i if i got any of that wrong but go to greenchef.us forward slash ding dong. It's crazy. I love that. I think, well, and to be honest with you, one of like the lands in Matt Rogers land, the theme park is Times Square.
Starting point is 01:24:52 So like, you know that, and of course, like we have, there's a Sbarro, there's a seven minute frozen musical where they just, it's just Elsie doing let it go. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:25:04 And there's of course a Spar go. Yeah. And, um, there's of course a Sparrow. Yeah. Um, and there's like, maybe there's like a big screen where it has like, you can get your picture up on there. You can,
Starting point is 01:25:12 you can do the ride. You can do, you can do the ride. You can do the actual, the actual, the ride. You get on it, you get on the ride.
Starting point is 01:25:19 Um, and it goes on a wacky journey through, through time square, quote unquote. And then the other lands are, I have to really think about this, but I think there's a big little Long Island. There's Long Island. Oh my God.
Starting point is 01:25:32 The lands are Times Square, Big Little Lies, Long Island, and Disney World. And we just have Splash Mountain. I love that. Matt Rogers theme park. And I'm like the Mickey Mouse of it. And you're very much like the Donald Duck. Fucking rude. No, it's not rude at all.
Starting point is 01:25:53 You hate wearing pants. I do. Let's make a land for BSJ. No. I don't need a land. Just like a fun restaurant that people don't hate. It's tennis themed. It's a tennis themed restaurant. I'm a lot of i would love here's i'm just gonna pitch some
Starting point is 01:26:08 things that i like i don't know if this is gonna fit into your world okay i in brandon's like tennis themed restaurant yeah a lot of bread bowls i like a bread bowl they it's called it's called brandon's tennis and bread bowls and and the waiters are all um andy roddick are the animatronics as well they're no well yes in that like they are west you order and fuck them you order on ipads they come over yeah andy comes up yeah and they always say hey i'm i'm uh andy roddick yeah did you call for me and then you say no i no, no, I wanted my food. Where, where are my fries?
Starting point is 01:26:49 Where am I? Where's my bread? Where's my bread bowl? I'm so sorry. It's Brandon's tennis and bread bowl. And of course it's like every screen is showing whatever tennis match. Yes, exactly.
Starting point is 01:26:57 Um, and what's a bread bowl? Actually just like, maybe just like videos of me hitting tennis, which is just a slightly out of shape man who's like just sweating way too hard. Just like an audience. And it's,
Starting point is 01:27:08 of course, it's all on a tennis court. Oh yeah. If it's all bread bowls. And it's outside. And it's outside. If it's all bread bowls, that means it's all soup?
Starting point is 01:27:16 No. It could be a dip. It could be a dip. There could be dips in the bread bowls. I think so. And I think sometimes even like,
Starting point is 01:27:23 if you just want it, there's maybe like a create your own where you can just put like a pile of cheese wait i now i feel sad that you i think that bowen needs to have a rock a big ride in my park yeah i think i think you actually have the biggest roller coaster there wow i think it you have it's called 2018 it's called 2018 and it starts out where we just, we literally, it's like a slow crawl up 500 feet and then a plummet straight down.
Starting point is 01:27:50 Oh my God. And then the rest of it, all of a sudden, like, it's like, you think it's over at one point, but then it's like launched and like. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:27:56 You know what it is? This is it. What is it? Oh, yeah. This is like the entire female cast of SNL dancing along the ride. This is it. No, this is the ride.
Starting point is 01:28:04 You ready? It's like Duel the ride. This is it. No, this is the ride. You ready? It's like Dueling Dragons. Yes. Where it's parallel, colonier rollercoaster at first. They're together. They're together. They split up.
Starting point is 01:28:13 It's like a crazy journey. It's called Kultwar. It's called Kultwar. They split up, and then they end up back together because the friendship outlasts everything. Prevails. Prevails.
Starting point is 01:28:21 It's called the Matt and Bowen rollercoaster experience. That's great. Matt and Bowen the ride. Colon Kultwar. bowen the ride colon culture that's good i love that and what land is this in it's in long island wait just so i know is there anything else in long island like what else yeah yeah yeah okay there's fire there's a fire island oh there's a fire island it's an accurate replica it's called the fire island experience and you go and it's an underwear party there's an underwear party where people are fucking each other yes yes yes and and that's the weird part is like you don't know who's real and who's not because it's like animatronics is it sort of like the pleasure island of and that's very west world too yeah yes yeah i love that i like that too it's gonna be really cool and i'm
Starting point is 01:29:06 i'm not not necessarily ready to announce more parks opening but we're definitely definitely interested in making this a resort but there is a margarita there's a margarita and there's a kelly clarkson land that's opening up in 2022 all i'm saying is we're in talks with kelly
Starting point is 01:29:22 about opening up potentially maybe a theme park kelly Kelly Clarkson related theme park. Yes. With a Because of You flume. You get to go behind those hazel eyes. And there's a haunted house called Behind Those Hazel Eyes. Yes. And it's really just like a very scary ride.
Starting point is 01:29:43 And everything's, yeah. You have Splash Mountain and Because of You Flume. In a different park, though. That's too many flume rides. No, because the Because of You Flume is actually really sad and deals with divorce. And Splash Mountain is more themes of like Zippity-Doo-Dah and all that stuff.
Starting point is 01:29:58 Yeah, you and Kelly have both gone through divorce. I know, I don't need to have gone through the divorce to understand that it was hard. Neither does Kelly. Kelly's parents went through a divorce. Oh oh so that's what because of you is about and me as a fan and the architect of the theme park she did such a good job you felt it you don't need to have to experience exactly there's a delirium look in your eyes that is just no i'm so excited about this this is my favorite thing to talk about i love this so much i think matt
Starting point is 01:30:23 will get a theme park by the end of his life. Here's what I think. If Dolly Parton can have one, I gotta have one. Yeah. You know what I mean? You gotta. You have to have one. Oh, my HPM is here.
Starting point is 01:30:31 Hi, Matt. I love that. I love that, too. I love that for me. I love that for you. I love that, honestly, though, for me. You know what? When I was little, what were your dream jobs when you were little?
Starting point is 01:30:42 What did you want to do? Before comedy or acting was even a thing, and i would imagine that for a lot of us like we grew up like watching the oscars and we've talked about this like but what was the job that you wanted i was really into drawing as a kid it was either gonna be astronaut lol just like mask drag but then also um is it i guess no no i'm not challenging you i've just i've never thought of it that way well for me like it felt like very a thing to fall in line and say yeah I'm gonna be an astronaut
Starting point is 01:31:09 yeah like one of those things one of those stock answers you can take cover behind it as like a nerdy effeminate kid it's a boy answer totally and then so it was that but then it was also like I was I was like drawing shit into like photo albums and like making these like stories up so I was like but then like drawing shit into like photo albums and like making these like
Starting point is 01:31:25 stories up so I was like but but then like it sort of translated where it was like this creative instinct to like make something that was me I always weirdly wanted to be and I don't think I understood what this was but I was like I want to be a psychologist oh wow like I think I like the idea of like um talking to people about their problems which i think just i was just like a gossip yeah but then but then our future podcast right when i got really really obsessed with roller coaster tycoon i really wanted to design roller coasters i really wanted but i think what i really wanted to do was be the person who created the stories for the rides and like did all the fun stuff like said and there'll be fire here and here there should be water and here there
Starting point is 01:32:03 should be wind. But which is not a thing. You didn't want to actually be the Imagineer. You wanted to be the person telling them what to do. Well, because then I found out what the Imagineers really are and they're scientists.
Starting point is 01:32:15 They're scientists. They're essentially genius engineers. RJ. RJ at Epcot. Our pal. You have an Imagineer friend. We have a friend.
Starting point is 01:32:24 We have a friend who listened to the pod. Last time he went, last year, hooked us up with some great fast passes. It was so sweet. He's an Imagineer. It's crazy. It's pretty cool. Yeah. They have a podcast.
Starting point is 01:32:35 Yeah. Where they talk about Disney and stuff. And I'm coming back. I'm going to do the Walt Disney Marathon. Yes. In November. I'm very excited about this it'll be fun yeah that's so and it's through the parks i believe that would be like such a
Starting point is 01:32:50 missed opportunity if it wasn't sure yeah i mean i'm sure it has to be yeah what about you i think i wanted to own like a restaurant or something i think that's yeah it is stressful yeah i think it was that i children's book author like i wanted to do that I was into drawing comic book artist and then and then other yeah I guess that's what it was yeah those were probably
Starting point is 01:33:11 probably the main ones for me nothing too exciting but the thing is actually I wanted like at one point I wanted to like I just wanted to be
Starting point is 01:33:17 a businessman I had like my dad's briefcase and like I just used to walk around the house with it and put my papers in there and I had papers. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:33:27 Yeah. That's just a kink. That's just like a. That's a kink. What you were experiencing was you had a kink. You had a kink. You wanted to fuck men. You had a white collar kink.
Starting point is 01:33:35 Is that what it was? Yeah. You wanted to fuck men. And that's a kink. When you want to fuck guys. That's a kink. That's a fucking kink. It's actually rule of culture number 90.
Starting point is 01:33:42 When you want to fuck guys. That's a kink. No matter what gender you are. If you want to fuck a man man you're a kinky one um someone did ask me this though last night they were like like what would you do if comedy didn't work out and i was like and i had that lame answer where i was where and they said they say this in mazel too i was like i couldn't do anything else yeah i have no other skills like that's what it was i was like i don't think i have the skills well you literally have other skills but like not what it was. I was like, I don't think I have the skills to do that. Well, you literally have other skills. But like not, not something.
Starting point is 01:34:06 You had another career. Not something that I could like sustain or that I could have the interest to invest in. To sustain your own happiness. Yes, exactly. Like not enough fuel
Starting point is 01:34:16 to kind of wake up every morning. And feel satisfied. It's like Glenn said at the Golden Globes. We need, as women, we need to fulfill
Starting point is 01:34:24 our personal goals. Yes. They're they're yes they're too nurturing well she said that women just are nurturing she said women are nurturing and that's what expected of them and like by nature yes they have like it's when you're growing up in a culture that demands you to be a nurturer and a wife and a mother like those are beautiful things to have um but it's important and crucial that everyone especially women who have been cultured to do the opposite find their passions and are able to say this is my passion yeah i should i i can do this and i should be able to do this which i thought was i love beautiful love fucking love that speech that's great it feels like it could have been word for word what you just did i've seen it several times yeah i was gonna say there's something
Starting point is 01:35:07 that you kind of like lost it you you went into the body well i became glenn in that moment you did and you transformed do you want me to do my impression of glenn i do i'm thinking of my mother who she was in her 80s and she said said, I feel I haven't accomplished anything. And she very much sublimated herself to my father, and I just thought, that's so not right. And, you know, as women, we are nurturers. That's what's expected of us, and we have our husbands and our children, and that's beautiful. But we have to be able to fulfill our personal goals. We have to be able to say, I can do have to be able to say i can do that and i should
Starting point is 01:35:47 be allowed to do that wow her singing the national oh boy that's a mets game yeah oh it's great it was a fabulous speech fabulous speech and one that was yes a lot of people need to hear. Yeah. Watching you slip into that, Matt was honestly like impressive. And so when you say you don't have any other skills, Glenn close, Glenn close impersonator impersonator at my theme park,
Starting point is 01:36:15 I actually go around doing Glenn close. It's actually a meet and greet. It's a meet and greet with quote unquote, Glenn close. And it's just you dressed normal doing lines that I sort of
Starting point is 01:36:31 remember her saying it's like in Dollywood when Dolly Parton will do the parade she'll be in a car she'll wave at people and that's it
Starting point is 01:36:37 your thing is you're dressed in plain clothes doing Glenn being called Glenn Close and it's so crazy the amount of kids that want a picture with me. They all clamor for me as Glenn.
Starting point is 01:36:52 They love, quote unquote, Glenn Close. They love Glenn Close. My wife and kids come here because we love the rides, but we love Glenn Close. We love Glenn. We love to see Glenn.
Starting point is 01:37:04 We just came here in August, but we said, for Christmas, we said, what do you want to do? You want a video game or whatever the fuck? He said he wanted to see Glenn. So here we are back. It's true. It's true. Our baby said he wants to see Glenn.
Starting point is 01:37:16 And we give him what he wants. It's real cheap to come here. It's very cheap to come here. It's honestly, it's one of the most interesting things, because I'll tell you one other thing real quick, is that you never know what Glenn's gonna say. I want her to do as if we never said goodbye. I know, I know. I know you do, but we not sure
Starting point is 01:37:32 what he's, what she is going to do. I want her to fall in the manure like she did in 101 Dalmatians. And you're gonna get that, baby. We love you. And if they don't, I will write a letter. Doesn't she yell manure? Something.
Starting point is 01:37:47 Is that what she falls into? That brown shit? It's not actually. Somebody. Oh, you know what that comes from? It's when Biff in Back to the Future Part 2. Back to the Future. The manure comes on.
Starting point is 01:37:55 And he goes, manure! That's beautiful. That was my Biff impression. That was. Matt is giving us a full resume. Oh my God. You are a man of. I think I did too much growl. That was. Matt is giving us a full resume. Oh my God. You are a man of.
Starting point is 01:38:06 I think I did too much growl, but. I was going to say I did too much blank insert drug. Yeah. I think I did too much Coke with us. I was like, great. I think it's time. I did have my first Coke experience. Ever?
Starting point is 01:38:19 I did Coke on New Year's Eve. Okay. How did you think? Should I not talk about it? You can talk about it. Did you? I did the tiniest bit of coke I will never touch it it did nothing for me
Starting point is 01:38:29 really and I wouldn't recommend anyone doing it yeah it's I don't know it's not I don't
Starting point is 01:38:34 I don't I'm not cut this out they don't need to know that I did coke okay you can do it I talked about meth
Starting point is 01:38:41 alright fine don't cut it out you know what I did coke okay it was one time thing there you go it's alright it's okay Okay. You can do it. I've talked about meth. All right, fine. Don't cut it out. You know what? I did coke, okay? It was one time thing. There you go. It's all right.
Starting point is 01:38:48 It's all right. You have done coke. I know you do coke. You're right. Stop it. I'm constantly doing cocaine. Constantly. I love cocaine.
Starting point is 01:38:58 Cocaine is my favorite. Cocaina. Cocaina. Cocaina. I felt my most powerful when I kicked someone out of my room. Yeah. When I kicked, most powerful when I kicked someone out of my room. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:39:06 When I kicked, at a party I threw for Jolkin Booster, I kicked someone out of my room because they locked themselves in there because they were doing
Starting point is 01:39:12 cocaine in my room. That's too much. And then I go. Somebody was locked in your own bedroom. Yep. Doing cocaine. And I banged the door.
Starting point is 01:39:18 Finally, this person opened the door. He's like, just fucking dumbass face just being like, sorry. And I was like, this is my room. I was like, hi, don't do that ever again.
Starting point is 01:39:29 That was bad. I just in front of everybody. I was like, I didn't yell. No, it's okay. I was just like, but like the room fell silent. Like everyone heard me say, hi, please don't ever fucking do that. I remember that. And I felt powerful.
Starting point is 01:39:41 No, I remember. I remember I wasn't at that joke and booster birthday party party but i remember hearing about oh you take your space in that moment had to you yeah that's good way to advocate for yourself had to that's what 2019 is all about is advocating for yourself being your own lawyer being your own be your own lawyer your own lawyer represent yourself in court i saw this actually real culture number 102 be your own lawyer represent yourself in court absolutely with that I think
Starting point is 01:40:08 we move on is that the hardest drug you've done meth I mean yeah there's the next step up
Starting point is 01:40:15 is like heroin I think heroin I think they're on par probably heroin no heroin is like
Starting point is 01:40:23 no heroin there's no going back meth yeah heroin really's like no heroin there's no going back yeah heroin i feel like meth there's no going back no no no no no the world math i did once and i was like i've never done that again i did it by accident one time this is such i'm i'm learning i'm the community i'm learning that i was 19 i was 19 sure but i'm learning that this is like a commonplace thing where people get tricked into doing it. And that's unacceptable. It's not good. I didn't like it.
Starting point is 01:40:46 I mean, I loved it. I had to work at the Gap the next day. And I was like, they saw me. I walked in. They were like, okay, you're working in the dressing rooms. And I'm like, I fucking passed out on the pile of clothes. I was so fucking, I was like, uh-uh. You passed out on the pile of clothes?
Starting point is 01:41:01 Uh-huh. In the back room. Mona, my manager, came back. Oh, my God. Mona and Rona. Mona and Rona. I swear to God. In the back room. Mona, my manager, came back. Oh my God. Mona and Rona. Mona and Rona. I swear to God. I swear to God.
Starting point is 01:41:09 That's a sitcom. It is. Mona and Rona, my Gap managers. I loved working for that company. Oh man, my dream as a teenager was working under that umbrella of either the Gap or Old Navy or Banana Republic.
Starting point is 01:41:23 I was like, any of those will do. Yeah, that is the luxury of the Western world, though, to say that. My dream as a child was to work for Gap. Disgusting. Okay. Here we go. Sorry, I've been-
Starting point is 01:41:39 Now we're going to move on to I Don't Think So, Honey. What does culture mean to me? We've already answered this question. Do you have anything you have anything that culture means to you okay then shut the fuck up oh god jesus fucking christ just get this over with okay i'm fucking suffering through an hour and 25 minutes of this bullshit i don't like this i don't like this hey matt hey matt you brought this okay you brought this fucking fire you brought this you're right i brought this snake like energy fucking can't look bowen's over here trying to be a fucking diplomat being fucking nice i don't think so honey is our one minute segment that has taken the world by storm
Starting point is 01:42:12 and we will be touring this country this great country with the show and what cities will be will we be going to portland seattle san francisco vancouver boston boston philly dc houston dallas and austin from somebody who has uh ocd i love the clustering of those cities i think that is a well thought out group well a lot of people are angry because we're not going to chicago or atlanta or denver and those are just those are all really desperate but we're not going to Chicago. Or Atlanta or Denver. And those are all really disparate but we're going to make it work. The reason why we're going where we're going is because there were festivals that were planned for that so we just booked
Starting point is 01:42:53 cities around it. But we're not shading Chicago. We are coming. I would imagine it's going to happen this year. I've said openly and publicly at the risk of my own self-image that I love Chicago so much. Why is that a risk? I'm just kidding.
Starting point is 01:43:06 It was just a little flavor that I threw. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It was a bit. I think we should be talking. Chicago, Denver,
Starting point is 01:43:13 and I want to go to Atlanta and you know, bitch, I want to go to Orlando and do a show there. Come on. We got to go. Me on me. And now it's time for, I don't think so,
Starting point is 01:43:23 honey. And should I go first? I can go first too. You go first. I love that. Here we go. This is Bowen Yang. Fuck. I Don't Think So Honey, and should I go first? I can go first, too. You go first. I love that. Here we go. This is Bowen Yang's. Fuck, I didn't even have one.
Starting point is 01:43:29 This is Bowen Yang's I Don't Think So Honey, and his time starts now. I Don't Think So Honey, Mary Poppins, or I guess Disney for not sending me the actual screen for Mary Poppins Returns. All they did was send me a fucking for your consideration card. Bitch, give me the screener, okay?
Starting point is 01:43:43 I want the DVD to put in my PlayStation 4 so I can watch it from the comfort of my own home and not have to shell $30 plus at an Alamo Drafthouse to watch Mary Poppins and to watch Lin-Manuel butcher a Cockney accent while I'm eating so-so queso. I love you, Alamo
Starting point is 01:43:59 Drafthouse. Never mind. Your queso is actually really good. 30 seconds. Because it's a Texan chain and therefore they are going to get the case right but mary poppins returns i need the screener what do you i get i got a screen for everything else except mary poppins returns why are you playing hard to get disney because you're disney no honey no bitch 15 seconds if i keep giving you money every single year for going to your theme parks and for partaking in your pleasantries in your parks at least give me a DVD that costs you next to nothing to make
Starting point is 01:44:28 and to ship to me and my address let me be an informed voter and you're doing me a disservice if not and that's one minute and that is obviously a callback to before you were pressed about your screeners I was and also check your mail though because I did get that one
Starting point is 01:44:44 you did I just got the card I got it like it was a card that was in an about your screeners. I was. Also, check your mail, though, because I did get that one. You did? I did. I just got the card. I got it. It was a card that was in an envelope full of other screeners. And then the wife was in there. You might be able to just get that. You might stream that one online.
Starting point is 01:44:55 But yeah, look into it. Mine actually is very topical with that. Okay, very topical. This is Matt Rodgers' I Don't Think So, Honey. His time starts now. I Don't Think So, Honey, Mary Poppins Revenge,
Starting point is 01:45:04 because... Revenge! Keep going. Keep going. Keep going. I don't think so, honey. Mary Poppins revenge returns.
Starting point is 01:45:18 I don't think so. I don't think so, honey. Mary Poppins returns because for being so boring in the middle. It was so boring in the middle. In fact, it was so boring that I literally was sitting there dehydrated with boredom after a thrilling beginning. 30 seconds. And then I left to go to the bathroom and AKA was just checking my phone.
Starting point is 01:45:36 And then I walked in and it was the end of the Meryl Streep part. I missed her whole part. Because I was so fucking bored. Like it's like an hour and 20 minutes in and I'm like, oh my God, I have to go. I missed the entire 10 minutes that Meryl was in the movie. Then it gets really good again at the end.
Starting point is 01:45:52 And I cried, but like, holy shit, Disney, the same thing with Moana. The whole act two is crazy. You're so right. You start great.
Starting point is 01:46:01 The middle is boring. And then the end is thrilling. And it's like, oh, that's one minute. Mary Poppins revenge it's like, ugh. That's one minute. Mary Poppins Revenge. That's a good ride at Matt Rogers World. I think the next one... That's a Matt Rogers World ride.
Starting point is 01:46:13 That is. That's a Matt Rogers World ride. Mary Poppins, the revenge. She kills all her relatives. She kills them all, and it ends really sad. Yeah, that fucking little beak on that umbrella pecks at their skin. Because actually what... I don't know what to look at.
Starting point is 01:46:30 What the fuck? Okay. It's actually, in Mary Poppins Revenge, the theme park ride that I will make, it's revealed that she actually is a witch, which makes a lot of sense because hello. I think she is though isn't she well she she something happens with her that's never that's not explained where she actually commits to all of her witchy bad parts of her personality and mary poppins and she's hung she's hanged she's hanged and comes back as a ghoul as a ghoul i think there's there's some fan theory out there
Starting point is 01:47:02 where it's the same universe as wizard of o where Mary Poppins is Glynda's she's a good witch of the south I see interesting but she crosses over into she does a reverse story but that movie is boring for like an hour in the middle I see it's pretty
Starting point is 01:47:18 but you nailed it on the head with Moana that is my issue with Moana everyone's like why do you hate Moana I'm like I don't hate it I love it I just think it sags like it like no other movie sucks yeah I mean there's brilliant parts to it
Starting point is 01:47:30 yeah I'm like when Henry and I went to go see Disney on ice like they did a Moana part and I was like you got emotional this should have been the whole movie just a
Starting point is 01:47:37 12-minute how far I'll go extended thing because it's like the whole middle of the movie is like dehydratingly boring dehydrated this is new this is I love this new term
Starting point is 01:47:50 you got dehydrated I remember one time when I was in APM my month of science I felt so bored in class one day that I literally was feeling dehydrated and so ever since then to describe me at my peak of boredom I'll say I'm dehydrated with boredom I love that that's'm dehydrated with boredom. I love that.
Starting point is 01:48:05 That's good. Thank you for that Shakespearean turn of phrase. This is Brandon Scott Jones's I Don't Think So, Honey. He's got something? Yeah, I think so. I mean, yeah, okay. This is not gonna be good. Okay, fine.
Starting point is 01:48:16 I love when people do that. Oh, God. Taylor Swift would never. I know. Brandon Scott Jones's I Don't Think So, Honey as time starts now. I don't think the fast passes at Matt Rogers World, okay? I don't think.
Starting point is 01:48:28 I don't think so, honey, okay? I had to wait in a longer line just to get those. I think you should put those online. What the fuck are you thinking? Are you really fucking running this? Are you really running this park or is it just your name up there? You tell me right now. Is that just your fucking name on that park?
Starting point is 01:48:43 You're looking at me. You're looking at me, but you're not speaking. Why? Because you think it's my turn to speak? It is my turn to speak, but I'm giving tell me right now is that just your fucking name on that park you're looking at me you're looking at me but you're not speaking why because you think it's my turn to speak it is my turn to speak but i'm giving you permission right now answer me right now what the fuck is happening why do i have to go to the park you didn't pay for the right pass ah i didn't pay for the right pass in the amateur line which is yes which is yes it is yes a way for the park to make money but if you had in advance got on the website you could have got the matt rogers whip pass matt rogers whip it's called the wind does it stand for something yes why the hell i pay why the hell i pay why the hell i pay and not get the whip pass and that's one minute why the hell i pay
Starting point is 01:49:25 pass my whip pass gets you to the front of the line um immediately and uh you also get to talk shit to the people that are in the regular line that's funny and you say to them why the hell i pay that's why why the hell i pay that's why why the hell i pay a little bit more because now i'm getting on the leo remini escape from scientology attraction the most popular ride in this park why the hell i pay is the next question title movie that brandon will star in why the hell i pay yeah I'm Sandy Kenyon and I say why the hell I pay for this film oh
Starting point is 01:50:08 Brandon Scott Jones is the only bright spot in a movie that includes Sandra Bullock in a dismal performance I hated it oh no I'm Sandy Kenyon
Starting point is 01:50:17 and this is Movie Minute Sandy you um that was less than a minute Sandy Sandy sometimes if you watch my reviews I mentioned my wife out
Starting point is 01:50:27 of nowhere that's a real thing sandy kenya would just be like my wife liked it i didn't now i'm sandy kenya this is my movie minute disney is the parent company of abc i work for abc i love sandy kenya we love Sandy here I do too well oh my god we just sat with a true movie star no please a prestige actress prestige actress yeah
Starting point is 01:50:50 I gotta take this take it take it take it take it I'm joking I'm joking okay well then
Starting point is 01:50:54 we love Brandon Scott so much watch the other two please if you haven't seen the other two premieres on January 24th he is in the first episode yeah but I'm not
Starting point is 01:51:02 and also just to be clear like I'm only I'm sprinkled so I'm sprinkled throughout yeah exactly three episodes yeah okay there you go and i love but the show is fantastic so that's fantastic um please please please go see isn't it romantic yeah starring bsj and bowen yang on february 13th um and valentine's day weekend valentine's day weekend and oh my god and can You Ever Forgive Me is in theaters yes we love you so much I love you guys so much truly so much
Starting point is 01:51:27 truly like I know it was a little hostile here and I know that sometimes I got a little heated I drank two waters during this and I asked for a third but there wasn't
Starting point is 01:51:36 I came here having to pee and I drank a whole water and now you have to really I have to pee more that's how that works I love you both so deeply we love you so much
Starting point is 01:51:45 I really really do and you are a treasure to us a treasure to us oh my god I'm gonna start crying and don't cry because we have a song to sing which is how we take out every episode it's the theme
Starting point is 01:51:57 from Leah Remini Escape from Scientology a theme park attraction at Matt Rogers Worlds get in the car get in the truth get in the escape from scientology leads the way and j-lo drives the car. Get in the car. Get in the truth.
Starting point is 01:52:28 It's not a religion. It's a cult. They should be taxed. I'm Glenn Close. Hey, a little reminder. Betterhelp.com forward slash ding dong. That's where you can go and put in a little promo code to get therapy online fast. Now, BetterHelp makes it easy to connect with licensed professional counselors who are caring professionals who specialize in the issues that you want to talk about.
Starting point is 01:53:01 We're talking about depression, stress and anxiety, trauma, grief, self-esteem, and other issues that we're all kind of dealing with that, you know, we want to reach out and get some help for and you can connect with your counselor
Starting point is 01:53:11 in a safe and private environment using betterhelp.com. Slash ding dong. Of course, yes. Slash ding dong. Of course. If you want to use, you know, our promo code
Starting point is 01:53:22 and get 10% off, you would use the promo code ding dong we just wanted to stop in here in the middle of the episode and say and just say that so schedule secure video and phone sessions or text your therapist all included worldwide and you can start communicating in under 24 hours yeah and maybe you can even marry your therapist okay we've been through this we you can't do that it's not marry a therapist? It's unethical. What if they're hot? Should I get another one? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:53:47 Okay. Betterhelp.com. Forward slash think dog. Forever Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba?
Starting point is 01:54:36 Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home, and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami? Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. Listen to Chess Peace the Elian Gonzalez story on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 01:54:58 I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind-the-scenes stories, crazy details, and honestly, just having a blast talking football. Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all times, from legends to our buddies to current stars.
Starting point is 01:55:20 We're finally answering the age-old question, what kind of dudes are these dudes? We're going to find out Jules new episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to dudes on dudes on the I heart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Cheryl swoops and I'm Tarika Foster Brasby.
Starting point is 01:55:42 And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women. And T and I have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby, an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 01:56:08 Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty, and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. I was a desperate delusional dreamer.
Starting point is 01:56:30 Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one.

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