Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - "Rolling On Cloud Laughing" (w/ Christi Chiello)

Episode Date: November 5, 2017

It was cold this morning. So very cold. So cold that a deep chill permeated every inch of my body. I almost stayed in bed; I almost let it defeat me. But I've seen enough of this life to know that if I could only get out the door, only survive the subway, and only burrow into my office, I could pour myself a steamy, creamy, delicious cup of Las Culturistas - and the chill would be obliterated. And my friends: hark! This week's brew warmed me right up because Mr. Rogers and Mr. Yang made it just the way I like it... chock full of Ms. Christi Chiello!!Matt and Bowen are bringing you some brand new rules of culture (#32: All Dogs Go To Heaven), brand new "I Don't Think So, Honeys" (Adult Acne), and brand new original songs (well, you'll just have to listen for yourself!). Christi's defining culture is Boy Bands - and this ep goes DEEP! Also - a breakdown of Demi Lovato's new documentary, some questions about Anderson Cooper, and a totally refreshing discussion about religion (Really? Yes! Really!). The culture is bountiful (Riverdale, Michael Jackson, Taylor Swift, etc) - so take big sips! Warm up your heart; warm up your life!Love to you all and see you at Cultch War, Joe (HPJ for the fans)LAS CULTURISTAS HAS A PATREON! For $5/month, you get exclusive access to WEEKLY Patreon-ONLY Las Culturistas content!!https://www.patreon.com/lasculturistasCONNECT W/ LAS CULTURISTAS ON FACEBOOK & TWITTER for the best in "I Don't Think So, Honey" action, updates on live shows, conversations with the Las Culturistas community, and behind-the scenes photos/videos:www.facebook.com/lasculturistastwitter.com/lasculturistasLAS CULTURISTAS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASThttp://foreverdogproductions.com/fdpn/podcasts/las-culturistas/ Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Real Housewives of New York City are back for another bite of the Big Apple. Look who it is. Joined by elite new friends. Rebecca Minkoff. Have you ever heard of her? But things could change in a New York Minute. She had this wild night and ended up getting pregnant by some other guy. What?

You told her? Not today, Satan. Not today. The Real Housewives of New York City. All new Tuesdays at 9 on Bravo or stream it on City TV+. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to

take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami? Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. Listen to Chez Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. to being one of today's biggest artists. I was a desperate delusional dreamer. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one.

I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind-the-scenes stories, crazy details, and honestly, just having a blast talking football. Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all times, from legends to our buddies to current stars.

We're finally answering the age-old question, what kind of dudes are these dudes? We're going to find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hey guys, coming up we have a New York Comedy Festival show. It's called Cult War and I Don't Think So Honey Death Match. Team Matt versus Team Bowen. Ten people on each team fighting hard to see who can give the most amazing I Don't Think So Honeys. It's on November 7th. That's a Tuesday at 8.30 p.m. again for New York Comedy Festival. Tickets are available right now.

And then at the Brooklyn Podcast Festival on November 18th at 10 p.m., we have our third installment of I Don't Think So Honey live at the Bell House. We're so excited to finally perform there with a brand new roster of 50 comedians doing their amazing inaugural I Don't Think So Honey's live for a rabid crowd. We can't wait to see you there.

Ding dong, Las Culturistas calling. Well, I guess you could say the M&ms are back bitch the m&ms are back i guess you could say that not only did i bring the m&ms on this episode but you brought a new favorite of mine can i plug you ahead and plug the snacks are really happening today we've got pretzel crisps buffalo wing flavor yeah del Yeah. Deli style. I told you, Matt. I put this in my mouth and I was like, there is a piece of gorgeously fried chicken in my mouth. Yeah. And you know who exposed me to this?

Already our guest is living la vida loca. Who exposed? Which of course is the original song. Yes. It was more of a ballad. Katrina Rogers, who is my mother, who I'm going to radically say this. Radical. She should be on the pod.

Oh, 100%. I think Katrina should be on the pod. I would love that. I think that would be an amazing episode. But yeah, okay. But what? I'm saying- You stupid bitch.

For symmetry, I would love that. That means we should bring my mom on. And I don't know if if that's why don't we bring someone else in your family on we can bring my sister on why doesn't yang yang come on my sister would be great would be so great you think i think so and speaking of family we have a new member of the family in the room not our guests but we have hot engineer well hi well he just moved from seattle it's he's fresh off the boat and fresh in our hearts and will i'll ask you one question what's the best eminem uh to me it's the peanut butter okay that's wrong oh that's unfortunately wrong crispy eminem is good and pretzels close enough now Now, Will is a certified expert in all

things audio. He just walked me and Matt through with a delicious sumptuous tapestry of words. He told us about a sonorous proximity effect when he was telling us to please speak more directly into the microphone. And I just want to say that was a note for Bowen.

I never need a note in terms of how to speak into a mic. That was a for me but i'll but i mean do you not do you regret having those words spoken to you no no no i don't regret it um i felt something and then you know and then later on he would he very very genteely talked us through the axis of the microphone. Guys, now I know. I can tell everyone we're recording on the RE20, which is designed for people who can, you know, push a lot of breath, like voice actors. I'm anxious now. Okay.

That people now know the secrets of the podcast. I mean. And they will themselves buy an RE20, and all of a sudden you'll be hearing ding dong. Oh. Some imposters. And all of a sudden there's going to ding dong. Oh. Some imposters. And all of a sudden it's going to be Las Culturistas 2. Well, I challenge someone out there to start a new podcast

called Las Culturistas 2 and... I will sue. I will have my lawyers on it. What a fun little social experiment. Speaking of my lawyers... I want to bring my lawyers in right now and sue our guests for making me laugh so hard and also for laughing over our whole intro because you you are having dare she how dare you you i would bring a lawsuit to you who is she she she has one of those laughs that's so contagious

and whenever she laughs i laugh you know no matter whenever she laughs I break out into a rash oh wow she is still contagious she is a veteran this is the credits by the way let's go through the credits she's a veteran she's a veteran of comedy central roast battle she is one of the co-hosts she's one of the co-hosts of battle of the divas with former queen of the pod Mateoo Lane, at Union Hall. You can see they have a show at New York Comedy Festival. Yes. And, of course, she has her upcoming solo show at Ars Nova on November 4th. Yes.

It's Christy Bitch starring the person sitting to my left, Matt Rogers. I do feature into the show. I'm sorry. I said you said featuring. In a role that I was born to play. And in fact, perhaps have already played in my life. And of course, she was a new face at JFL this year, star

on the rise, and I need to... Okay, well, let's introduce her. It's Christy Cello! God, you guys, thank you so much. I'm sorry I've been such a bag of giggles. Why are you giggling? Tell us why. Explain yourself.

Because I've wanted to do this podcast my whole entire life. You know I'm a fan. You know I've been to both your live shows in New York City. And to see it happening in the Studes is a real, honestly, a real treat to watch you guys do this. We asked you a question at this point. We asked you a question at this point. Is this what you pictured? Honestly, you know what strikes me the most? What? Is that physically

we are so close to each other. By necessity, though. I feel very close to you guys, and you know what? This is everything I thought it would be and more. I'm having the best time of my life so far. there's no need to point out how close we are we are doing this one for to create this kinship and this bond and two for that sonorous proximity effect we should say we're in a room that is acres large acres large we we don't have to be sitting within a

cubic foot of one another but we just are because that is the love yes and also you know hot engineer will is also in the same cubic foot as us well you're so close to us you're so close to us i'm getting lost in those baby greens baby Baby greens. You thought they were something you could order as a side at that restaurant, but in fact, they're in Will's eyes. They're in Will's eyes. Now, Christy. I didn't know where you were going with that. Neither did I, honey. Neither did I. I got it at the end. It's called being Matt. You don't know where you're going, but you get there. Whatever that is, you don't know. I mean.

What, nothing? My brain just short circuited. You guys. All I know is you started this by attacking my mother. I did not attack your mother. You attacked. I said, my mother should be a podcast guest. And you said, well. No, I said, but.

I did. Only to counter that with, well, what? I was just, I'm sorry. And I was just placing my own mother in that place. And I was like, would that be, that would be uncomfortable for everybody. And so I was just like,

maybe that disqualifies Katrina. I don't think it does. I don't think it does. I think Katrina stands on her own. I think Katrina is more than a mother. Oh, and I think that you, you,

you said that she is merely a mother. I didn't, I say more than you say merely. Rule number 52 culture. A mother is not merely a mother. Yeah, right. You didn't say it with me, so that didn't register. I think it landed either way. Look, Christy.

Hi, you guys. Wait, speaking of maternal figures, I truly, it just hit me. And Christy, this is why I feel like I connect with you is because you have such a joy. And you laugh at the same moments that my grandmother would laugh. And you remind me of just my sense of humor alone wild no i mean it and like christy laughs at the moments that my grandmother would laugh like especially during like silences or pauses christy is someone you can always count on christy to fill in the silence it's a gorgeous laugh yeah so much honestly thank you your grandmother sounds like an

amazing woman she's an amazing woman you're a laugher, huh? Oh, I'm an easy laugh. And I pride myself on being an easy laugh. You want to know why? We're rapidly ascending towards our death. You gotta laugh. You gotta laugh. You gotta laugh. Can I ask you, what do you think will kill us?

That's a great question. Too much laughter on this podcast? I don't think that's it, Christy. I don't think that's it. Now, you'd think I was asking for a joke, for a laugh, for a thrill. I want to know. What's going to kill us? Yeah.

Oh, God. I'm really thinking hard about this. What's going to happen? God, who knows? I think I know. We were just talking about this. What's going to happen? God, who knows? I think I know. We were just talking about this. True story. Christy and I ran into each other very, very, very randomly at this little deli grocery store around this area.

Yeah, around the corner. It wasn't that random because we were both going to meet here. I know, but what are the odds? What are the odds that an hour beforehand we would meet? Yeah, we were both early and we sat and had a bite. We both arrived at the same conclusion that social media is in shambles right now. Just the whole concept of it. We're really questioning right now as a society what the use is and because it's caused so much damage.

So we hate Facebook. We hate Facebook. You and me at least. I mean, are we getting real right now? Let's get real. Yeah, this is what this podcast is all about. We've been so fake this whole time. We've been fake as fuck this entire time.

I mean, we can bounce back and forth between the real and the fake. This isn't even how I really talk. No, come on. Everyone's going to see the real me right now. Okay, so let's put a pin in this. Social media's bad. We need to talk about Christy's voice. Yeah, okay, so what is it? Honestly, my little sister sounds a lot like me and it's really funny

because how old is she she's i say she's little like she's really little she's not she's like 28 little and um yeah it's so weird i did get my tonsils out though as an adult okay a couple years ago and i remember being like oh my god is going to make me sound even weirder? Or maybe it would normalize my voice? And it didn't really. No change at all? I felt a change. I felt so much space in my throat. I was terrified because I want to get my tonsils out so badly because they always

get some flare up. Oh, I got tonsillitis all the time. Mine were like golf balls that would touch each other. Yes. So it's weird. I didn't even know that a mouth is supposed to feel so open. Wow, that's crazy. Yeah, it it's weird. It's like I didn't even know that a mouth is supposed to feel so open. Wow, that's crazy. Yeah, it's really deep.

Do you feel empty now that there's a part of you out there in the world that you can't touch anymore? Honestly, no. Because I feel like this is the real me. Those tonsils held me back.

Oh my God. So I really encourage, I think you should do it. It was like an exorcism. Yeah. I mean, I should do it. It's rule number 88 of culture. A part of your body

might be holding you back. And if it is, chop, chop. Chop, chop. Get rid of it. It's like a weird plastic surgery allegory. I love it.

And you know what? This leads into rule number four of culture, which is a tonsillectomy is like an exorcism. You're not saying them with me today.

I didn't know where the fuck you were going. He was so confused. Something in this system is flawed now. Yeah, you bitch. It's you da flow. Okay. It's you da flow. Can I ask?

Can I ask Christy a question? Yeah Is it going to be as deep as the last one? I mean I'm prepared for it It's actually going to be the question that we ask every guest Oh my god But we never got to what we think will kill us all Yeah okay let's answer that

Okay so The place I was going to with that was social media Like just the fact that it's so easy to organize around Any stupid idea Is what will kill us You know what I think is going to with that was social media. Just the fact that it's so easy to organize around any stupid idea is what will kill us. You know what I think is going to kill us? I think social media is going to keep moving forward

and then it's going to just become robots. And the robots are going to come and they're going to kill us. Oh, 100%. We're going to be replaced by robots. You guys should read this amazing article on a website called Wait But Why. It talks all about AI and how we are currently, we're going to be on a balance beam with AI. Either we fall on one side, which is like we all live forever.

Like robots will, we will be the robots. We will live in the robots. We will be immortal within the robots. Or the other side of that balance beam is they kill us. You want to know what's weird though? I'm like not scared of death. It doesn't really scare me. I've never been scared by it.

Not that I want to die because I'll go to heaven and meet Jesus and all my old dogs. All your old dogs? Oh my god, how many old dogs? Two. One that I love, the other one I didn't love. Yeah, wait. Because it always tried to bite me. No.

Then why do you think it's in heaven? Because I think all dogs go to heaven, bitch. Rule number 37 of... Culture. Of culture. All dogs go to heaven. I can get down with that. I can get down with that.

Okay, so Christy's answer, Matt, then, is social media. And not tangentially robots. Okay, I have it's Christy's answer, Matt, then, is social media. And not tangentially robots. Okay, I have a different answer. Yeah, what do you think? I think something crazy I left feels like an asteroid. Really? Yeah, I think we're gonna

deep impact this shit. Space is so crazy that that's amazing. Cool thought, Christy. But, like, space is honestly so crazy. Space is so amazing that that's amazing.

That's actually rule number 99 of culture. Space is so amazing that that's amazing. That's actually rule number 99 of culture. Space is so crazy that that's amazing. I think you're both right. I think there is some grand extinction event that is inevitable. And you know who's going to tell us about it? Anderson Cooper. Wait, do you not like Anderson Cooper? No, I don't. Why?

I don't love Anderson anymore because I feel that he threw Kathy Griffin under the bus. That's true. That's true. I think he kind of did as well. I understand that. And I think there that he's definitely certainly in a position where he didn't have to do that. And I think he did.

And I think it's really unfortunate and I think it's sad. I think you should always have your friends back. You should. If he came out with, like, an apology, would you forgive him? Yeah. I think people make mistakes. I think he's under a lot of pressure.

Right. I also don't think he cares. I don't even know how close they actually were. It certainly seemed like they were friends. Right. I have this image in my mind because i think they create this of like fucking kelly rippa anderson cooper and andy cohen and kathy griffin and all the cool like gay and gay adjacent celebrities who are very wealthy all

hanging out on a boat yeah um but like i don't know that that's true yeah and. Andy Cohen and Sarah Diska Parker. Yeah, I mean, I know that they're also friends, so. I would, I would, I would stand up, I would stand up for you guys, or I would support you guys if you guys came out. There's literally no question

in my mind. I'm half joking. I'm saying like, there's no need to say this, but I would support you. Thank you so much. If I was holding Trump's bloody head, can you imagine if you much if i was if i was holding trump's bloody head can you imagine

if you said for the record i think what matt's had done is disgusting when no one said about kathy yeah deplorable all right i forget honestly don't call me on the word but you can look it up what he said he said like for the record i think what kathy griffin did was and then he described it in some like, you know, media ready way to say it was disowning her. Jeez. As if she didn't like deal with enough. And then I read an article

where she was quoted as saying that he never even personally reached out to her until months and months later. That's awful. I thought, because I thought at the time, oh,

he must be saying this because he has to say this. He's definitely reached out to her and said, hey, I'm going to like have to publicly condemn you, but you know I have your back, which I think would this because he has to say this. He's definitely reached out to her and said, hey, I'm going to, like, have to publicly condemn you, but you know I have your back, which I think would have made a big difference. Me too. But he didn't do that, says she.

But, like, I mean, I think it's important, though, to know if they were really good friends in real life or if they weren't. I mean, we, like, how close were they in real life? I don't know. I mean, I know he was a big champion of forgetting and keeping that job of the ball dropping, you know, the New Year's Eve. And I think that it always just, I don't know. Yeah, either way. It's a little fishy. It's hard. I'm sure

Anderson was caught between a rock and a hard place and really had to like, you know, for his job. Who knows what they were hanging over his head. Yeah, but here's the thing, Christy. He's a Vanderbilt and he's going to be fine. You know what I mean? He's gonna be fine. Kathy Griffin wasn't making a

break in Anderson Cooper. And the Trump voters would have already hated him for being gagged. Yeah, it's like he wasn't losing anybody. But unfortunately, I think he did. Ooh, this one. I mean, I love Anderson. I was gonna get a dog and name it Anderson Cooper

yeah really I was not only because it's hilarious but also because I liked Anderson Cooper I really liked him too Sam Taggart and I went dancing one night at Eastern Block

now club coming but yeah one night he eastern block now club coming um uh but uh what yeah one night he and andy cohen came uh and sam this was like sam's first month in new york which is so funny but he was like freaking out was so starstruck and we were like and mike spence was there and me and mike were like um my straight roommate my expense and we were both like like sam like calm down like be cool he was like i'm gonna go over there and say hi to him and we were like no don't do that um although i at one point like later on and then i got super drunk and on my way to the bathroom like a handy cone was just like being like a little i mean and he's this is his right to be this way but he was being a little little

skeezy i live for hearing the dirt on celebs like behind the curtain. And not even dirt like you know he's allowed to do this. He's a single or even if he's not like he's allowed to do this. Right. But I just but then I decided to try my luck and I didn't like go out to him or anything but like I like put my hand on his arm as I was walking to the bathroom

in the opposite direction and just like sort of like stroked it away. Is that your move? A casual stroke? A walk by stroking? It was a walk by stroking. I did this Christy. I did this and then in the opposite direction and just like sort of like stroked it like stroked it as I walked away. A casual stroke? A walk-by stroking? It was a walk-by stroke. I did this, Christy. I did this and then like

I just got wet. And he went excuse me, what the fuck was that? No, no, no. And like at this point who knows how like three sheets to the wind he was but then like

we like clasped hands as I walked away. Obviously he was into that walk-by swoop. Well, he didn't see me. Like if he had turned around and seen my face but he'd have been like no fats no femmes no asians but um we don't know that he's like that i know i'm but i'm saying like endemic in the white gay

community um i actually think andy cohen is very hot very handsome yeah and he seems like a really nice guy seems like a really really nice decent guy like a really, really nice, decent guy. And I don't even mean to be like, I actually think. Like, Andy Cohen is a good-looking guy. How subversive of you. Now, no, everyone who's worked at Bravo, like Nicole Conlon, former guest of the show, was an intern there back in college, like, oh, nine.

And, like, had nothing but good things to say about him. He just seemed like a nice guy. I think he's great. i think he's so great i just i i'm disappointed that anderson didn't have kathy griffin's back because i just couldn't find a place where i couldn't find a place where i would put myself in that position and not have my friends back like especially like you would know who kathy griffin is yeah like i guess i agree that's a good reason to not like him anymore yeah yeah totally um it is it is it is now christy we're gonna ask you what we ask all of our guests oh my god finally which is christy what is the culture that made

you say culture is for me now this this means um movies books Cinema, the small screen. Sonic. Religion, maybe. Whatever you want it to be. Can you just repeat the question one more time and I'm going to close my eyes. What is? And Matt, feel free to chime in and rephrase the question in a little bit.

No, no, no. What is the culture that made you say culture is for you? What is the culture that made you want to step in a cultural direction? Imagine you are the baby dinosaur in Jurassic Park coming out of the egg. Not the mama. No, no, no, no.

You're not the mother because she's far too jaded. She's already made her cultural decisions. Actually, I have an answer. And I feel like it might have been an answer that has been given on the podcast already. But my reason is my own. So, boy bands. Yes. And it started for me with New Kids on the Block

because I have an older sibling. And that, I went on the local news channel in my hometown and I wrote Joey McIntyre a love letter and I got to read it to him. It was on the news. Oh, my God. And then he gave me a hug after I met all of them. I went to their concert.

And then growing up, I was just huge into the boy bands, mainly NSYNC. Oh, my God. But that was like. But you were a whole generation ahead of a lot of, because I feel like I missed that window. Oh, I was into New Kids on the fucking block. So you got in on the ground fucking floor with boy bands. Exactly. And when Backstreet Boys came and when NSYNC came

and 98 Degrees and LFO and O-Town and Five and like all of them. I mean, I compared them. I know their names. I know their facts. I know their origins. That for me, something about a bunch of grown men. that reads a man really ah was that also your type like kind of boy band type It was like the musical the guy who did musical theater who was quote-unquote like a straight guy with like yeah

Puka shell necklace that was like cool, but it was what was ultimately still straight Ultimately still straight ultimately still straight right yeah that was that was my type there was that guy in my high school who like we just we had to pull him in from lacrosse and but he was such a good singer so so so attractive and was you know still is straight but it was just like a dang like yeah they've got that one but no that is a great answer because that just covers a whole swath of culture. And you know what? It's like it's the showmanship because these boys could sing and they would like their choreography.

Like, also, it was like a sexual awakening for me. Yes. Like, the first feelings I had of, like, being horny were these shirtless men, like, gyrating. Yes. And the words they were saying, those were formative years for me. I'm telling you, do you remember Justin Timberlake

in the Tear It At My Heart video and the white wife beater on his knees on top of that bed in that dark black and white room? Like it was yesterday. But the thing about it is, what was he, 17, 16, 17 years old? 17. He was fully, what was he, 17, 16, 17 years old? 17. He was fully, I mean, he was on a bed in a wife beater.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fully masculinized. Yeah. The implication was, you're going to fuck this boy. Yes. Everyone watching. But he was this fully, it was like, Brittany did not have that awkward phase. She was a sexual being as soon as you saw her.

They all were. People think that Christina Aguilera's sexual moment was dirty, but no, she was singing You Gotta Rub Me the Right Way, laying on her belly, flipping her little, for lack of a better word, vagina. Flipping her little vagina. Flipping her little puss puss. Yeah.

Flipping it to and fro. I have a question for you. To and fro. Rule number 300 something something culture. You gotta flip that puss puss to and fro. In fact, that might be a new hit song. You gotta flip that puss puss to and fro. You gotta flip it to and fro.

You gotta flip that puss puss to and fro. You gotta flip it to and fro You gotta flip that Puss to and fro You gotta flip it To and fro This is to the tune of I feel like you didn't Make up that song No I Very clearly didn't

It's hip Hop A hip A hip to the hip Hip hop and you don't stop Hopping to the bang bang Will loves that song A hot engineer

Will loves it The Real Housewives Of New York City Are back for another bite Of the Big Apple Look who it is Hanna Joneer will loves it. some other guy. What? You've told her? Not today, Satan. Not today. The Real Housewives of New York City, all new Tuesdays at 9 on Bravo or stream it on City TV+. honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. We talk about guilt, shame, body image, and huge life transformations. I was a desperate delusional dreamer and the desperate part got me in a lot of trouble. I encourage delusional dreamers. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer. I just had such an anger.

I was just so mad at life. Everything that wasn't right was everybody's fault but mine. I had such a victim mentality. I took zero accountability for anything in my life. I was the kid that if you asked what happened, I immediately started with everything but me. It took years for me to break that. Like years of work.

Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, a five-year-old boy floated alone in the ocean. He had lost his mother trying to reach Florida from Cuba. He looked like a little angel. I mean, he looked so fresh. And his name, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere. Elian Gonzalez.

Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian Gonzalez. At the heart of the story is a young boy and the question of who he belongs with. His father in Cuba. Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him.

Or his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. At the heart of it all is still this painful family separation. Something that as a Cuban, I know all too well. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, as part of the My Cultura podcast network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. Guess what, folks? We're teammates again. And we're going to welcome you guys all To Dudes on Dudes I'm a dude You're a dude And Dudes on Dudes

Is our brand new show We're gonna highlight players Peers Guys that we played against Legends from the past And we're just gonna sit here and talk about them And we'll get into the types of dudes What kind of types of dudes are there, Gronk?

We got studs Wizards We got freaks Or dudes, dude We got dogs Dogs We'll break down their games We'll share some insider stories We got studs, wizards. We got freaks. Or dudes dude. We got dogs. Dogs. We'll break down their games. We'll share some insider stories and determine what kind of dude each of these dudes are.

Is Randy Moss a stud or a freak? Is Tom Brady a dog or a dudes dude? We're going to find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Was the illusion shattered for you, though, when you learned about how awful of a person Lou Pearlman was? Oh, my God. No.

No. You want to know why? I'm the worst when it comes to that. Michael Jackson is, I idolize him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. comes to that, Michael Jackson is, I idolize him. I mean, although I remember watching his trial on TV and just turning the other cheek. I was like, oh he sleeps with little boys,

I still love Remember the Time music video. That's so interesting. I mean, I'm not proud of this, but I'm gonna admit it because it's my truth. Say it, say it. I do that not as much anymore. You know what the breaking point was for me? Chris Brown.

Oh, sure. At first when the Chris Brown Rihanna thing happened, I would close my eyes and pretend he was Usher because I liked his music. Everyone loves with you, with you, with you, with you. I listen to it now and I'm so sad. It's like I love that music. But Chris, that was sort of a, for him, he was the guy for me who made me look at real life and be like, you know, well, I can't support, you know, it's like. Like these are flawed people.

Yeah. So like, you know, well now with like Woody Allen or whatever, I don't like their films. But you know what? Learning about Lou Pearlman didn't shock me as much as, because you know what? These were little boys, as Matt said, who were being, clearly they were sexualized and blah, blah, blah. You knew it was a little fucked. If anything, it explains how successful it was.

Yeah. No, truly. So it didn't feel like as big of a shock to me. Totally. Speaking of Chris Brown, I just want to say, have you guys seen this documentary that's on Netflix about him? No. No.

But I'm really into documentaries. I hear it might be good. Anyway, I just want to put, have you guys seen this documentary that's on Netflix about him? No. No. But I'm really into documentaries. I hear it might be good. Anyway, I just want to put that on everyone's radar. Is it focused on him? I think so. I might be misspeaking, but I just know that it exists. Oh, I'll watch it. I think we should watch it.

And also, I mean, I don't want to get, this is like my biggest fear is that with this podcast, I'm going to want to talk about too many things. But did you watch The Demi? I know Matt watched it. Oh, yeah. I watched it. Did you talk about it already? We have not talked about it. No, we have not talked about it. We should absolutely talk about too many things, but did you watch the Demi? I know Matt watched it. Oh, yeah. I watched it. Did you talk about it already? No, we have not talked about it.

We should absolutely talk about it. You did watch it? Oh, and I have. I mean, I loved it. I fucking loved it, and I see her at a whole new light, and I've been a fan from day one, and I'm more so a fan now.

Great. I loved Demi, and I did love the documentary. Of course, it was very funny to me that every 15 minutes there was a photo shoot. Those were fun. Those were the familiar parts. I mean, she looked absolutely incredible,

but the thing is, you hate doing this. You hate comparing it to something else. I know what you're going to compare it to. With 5'2". So what I liked about the Demi Lovato documentary is I thought it revealed real truths about the dishonesty that comes along with addiction.

You know what I mean? That was something that I feel like you just assumed. Demi Lovato had all these problems, got better when she sang the song Skyscraper, and there was no looking back. Meanwhile, there was confirmed in the documentary was that even when she was releasing another documentary like four years ago about how she was like rehabilitated she was doing

coke and like all fucked up super fucked up um post you know rehabilitated image like singing at american idol like yeah she was hungover like and she's saying she's clean at this time and she's revealing that she lied. But she's still and I thought this was refreshing, she's still dealing with bulimia. I think she's still dealing with that chapter isn't closed. I don't think any of these books or chapters are

closed. No, they never are. They never are. And that's a realistic sort of presentation. I feel, I always understand, especially with the Disney girls or the Nickelodeon girls. Like, they come into the spotlight a role model. And that's a lot of pressure for these girls. And I really, seeing Demi's story, you know, she started doing Barney and then shot to fame doing the Disney stuff. But to see her story and to have her be so honest with it now,

I understand why her fans are so ride or die because she's real. I feel like she's very authentic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And an amazing vocalist. I thought it was good. Suti and I watched it together. And just in the very beginning, I i just and i'm not saying this like i'm like i like i'm very astute to observe this but i feel like the artifice of the of the

documentary of it being like overly produced like was just i i don't know i don't know how to feel about it i either admire it so much for being so like blatantly like oh this is like this was a fed line yeah we're like even in the beginning where she was like i'm nervous to talk to you oh yeah that because the last time i had talked to someone this long on camera i was on cocaine like it was just it was just like okay like you you're just repeating this that that's that's that's how i felt matt's giving me a look like well i mean sure but you could literally say that about us you know what you know what i mean like at a certain point you just have to like if we're gonna sit down and watch

this either accept it for the message that it's giving which is i think a pretty honest message is great about you know what what it's about like her her many many issues or kind of say okay well just remember this is still a product. This is still a product. This is still a product. I'm still being sold something. But you could literally do that to yourself for a long time where I think you need to find a balance.

That's, I think, sometimes why it's dangerous to watch things with Sudi because she is always going to see right through to – But it's great, though. No, it is totally great, and I'm so thankful for that eye yeah yeah yeah i mean i know i mean i just watched this and i picked up on it at certain parts that sudi didn't even and i was just like oh yeah like it's fine like we get that this is a documentary that certain moments have to be like staged in a way to feel powerful but also like just like go there anyway and that's why i that's why i like the photo shoots because it's blatantly like of course this was a set like this was set up and you know what i would

prefer the overproduction versus you know a couple of scenes in gaga's where she's topless by the pool thank you they're shooting the shit thank you where it's like a little boring i'm like all right because demi's was transparently produced yes whereas Gaga's was like you cut back to her and her fucking tits are out and she's like

exactly you know what I mean the best part of Gaga of the Gaga documentary was like was so so produced was where she's like fucking at

she's at some studio and she's talking to the phone with Sonia her friend who has cancer and she's like oh god what the doctor said what?

You still have cancer? And so the cancer is definitely back, is what you're saying. Like, repeat, yes. She's repeating it back. Just so expository. No, I do want to say R.I.P. Sonia. She did pass away.

Oh, yeah. And she was a lovely person and Gaga cared about her very much. And I love Gaga. And Queer Girl Girls was the song inspired by Sonya. And seriously, and that's why I almost don't even like to compare them. No, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yes, but of course you compare them because they're very similar and we're here to mine the comedy out of these things. And yes, there were many parts of Gaga's documentary where it's like, it's almost more shitty to me because it's presenting itself as unproduced and more raw whereas like but this i live for the fact that demi lovato basically blocks her eyebrows out to go boxing honey but this is the thing this 100 that was so funny this this applies to this

applies to both documentaries though is that i you know the parts that are authentic are so much more powerful. Like when Gaga's giving notes at her Super Bowl rehearsal where she's like, I have to be here. That was a real moment where she's taking everyone to task, and it was amazing. And for Demi, several parts in Demi's documentary where she does that. But then I just thought I loved the studio sessions where she was like, and Sudi and I just couldn't stop doing this. Where she's just like talking back and forth with the producers. And then at one point she just goes just completely like anodyne, like straight toned. Like, I just want to make sure my vibrato is consistent.

Which is like not something you say. You say at all. But I i mean it was that was an amazing moment i love that they go over to like the recording on the computer and they see look look how consistent the vibrato is like bitch we know she can sing like we understand it was great i can do a consistent vibrato too. Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay. That would show up on there as a Demi Lovato consistent. Hot Engineer Will, what does the waveform look like?

Oh, wow. Pretty consistent. Pretty consistent. Looks pretty consistent. Thank you. Yeah, no, you're, yeah. I mean, but I love that moment. And you know what?

No, you're right. I agree with you. I'm on the same page. I liked the Demi documentary better because, by virtue of it being overproduced, for moments such as those. Yeah, because it's like, what are you going to do? Like, lie? At the end of the day, you want eyes on this to sell things.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I guess, like, I think there is more prestige in the fact that Lady Gaga's was released to Netflix, and I think maybe a little bit more artistically done than demi lovato's which is on youtube and like original absolutely like you know at some point we definitely all subliminally thought like you know what i want right now pepsi you know i really want pepsi right now i'm really in the hankering for it um oh my really in the mood. Oh my god, wait.

I don't know if this sort of relates to your boy band obsession. What are your feelings on Josie and the Pussycats, the movie? Yeah. Do you ever love that?

And speaking of subliminal messaging, like, if you haven't seen it, you have to see it. You have to. I don't think, I think I've seen pieces

because my sister was watching it. Sure, sure. I remember pieces of it I've never seen the movie in its entirety but I am watching Riverdale

okay and they are they are characters in Riverdale and I'm loving the pussycats in Riverdale except for that

one tired one who's just so tired all the time he didn't stay good taking it is there one where her thing is that she's tired

no but did you see her face she looks so fucking tired no I haven't seen her I'm not trying to roast her she just looks very tired. I watched the first six episodes of the first season, and honestly, I really loved it. I thought stylistically it was great, but then something about I just didn't keep watching it.

I think maybe because I felt like, I got it. Oh, well, I'm watching it for Luke Perry as a hot dilf. I get that. Luke Perry's in it? Luke Perry plays the dad, yeah. Archie's dad? That's him? That's Archie's dad, and he's hot dilf. I get that. Luke Perry's in it? Luke Perry. Luke Perry plays the dad, yeah. Archie's dad, that's him? Archie's dad. And he's hot as fuck.

I just haven't seen him in so long that that did not register me who that actor was. Oh, he's thriving in Riverdale. Also, what's Veronica's mother? Her name is Marisol Nichols. She's also gorgeous. Gorgeous. Veronica, the actress who plays Veronica, guess who her teacher at Playwrights was? Who?

Andrew Farmer. Really? Yeah. Isn't that wild? Our friend. I googled and saw that she went to Tisch. Yeah.

Our friend, that means, oh my god, our really good friend taught her at acting. Are you for real? That's so funny. She tweeted something

because, hi Andrew, and Andrew's doing this really cool, or maybe he will have just finished this cool series about subway scary stories.

Oh, scary. And then she tweeted, she was like, hi, one of the best drama teachers I ever had at NYC. Or maybe he will have just finished this cool series about subway scary stories. And then she tweeted. She was like, hi, one of the best drama teachers I ever had at NYU is doing this cool project. Check him out. So she's like an Andrew Farmer stan. But she's really good. She's really great. I love them.

Stunning. Can I admit, I've only seen the first two episodes. But I liked it. Oh, I like it a lot. You get it. I get it. Yeah, you've seen it all. I really liked it. Oh, I like it a lot. You get it. I get it. Yeah, you've seen it all. I really like it. But I had such nostalgia when I was watching it for the OC, for, you know, all these shows that I would watch as a teen.

And I'm like, oh, I'm glad there's one for this new generation. But I want that. But scaled up to my age. But I don't think that exists. You know what's a weird realization? Like, watching it this time around, because I, too, like, I loved the OC. Yeah, yeah. And it does make me feel nostalgic the thing this time around

that's tripping me out is that I'm really into the parents storyline which I feel like isn't a sign that I'm getting older no I was always

into cause I'm like oh the dads like I was never into Sandy Cohen I was into Julie Cooper Julie Cooper

Julie Cooper early gay icon she really is an early gay icon also what really is an early gay icon. Also, what was Kirsten? Kirsten Cohen's alcoholism was a huge, huge storyline. I loved the parents even as a young child. Wait, Kirsten Cooper.

Oh, that's Kitty, right? No. Kiki. Who's the redhead? Julie Cooper. Oh, that was Julie Cooper. Marissa's mom. Who's Kirsten

Seth's mom Seth's mom Seth's mom had alcoholism yeah later in the season I'm like not remembering this it was really bad season 2 season 3

oh I think I remember I do love Sandy Cohen though she gets in like a horrible car accident because she's drunk at one point I remember I remember Tate Donovan oh

yeah another hot date I love Tate Donovan yeah voiced Hercules and I like as a young child watching Hercules I was like whoever's voicing Yeah, voiced Hercules. And as a young child watching Hercules, I was like, whoever's voicing him. He voiced Hercules? Zero to hero. Did he sing Go the Distance?

That was Roger Bart. Roger Bart. Broadway legend Roger Bart. Every single quote unquote straight boy sang that song for their audition. Yes. I will go the distance. Can I tell you, they used to have an American Idol attraction at Disney World where you could sing. You could go up and sing to a bunch of people.

You could go up and be a contestant. And the kid who won sang Go the Distance. And afterwards, they did this thing where they brought him to the back and they were having him pose. And people had to pretend to be fans. And I pushed my sister so hard to go up there. I was like, let's walk this way. And I pushed her up there and she was like, what are you doing? And this Hollywood director, quote unquote, in the parks that was like,

all right, our extras, come on, we're doing this. Now when he raises his arms to give muscles, you guys are going to be fans. My sister was mortified. She does not do this kind of thing. Oh my God. But it was like too late. It was like A, she doesn't do this kind of thing. B, she's also not the kind of person to like break authority.

So the fact that she was up there, she was going to do it. Oh my God. And watching her like pretend to like fan herself. That's hysterical. It was very fun for me. I competed in the Warwick Mall Idol. Oh my God. What did you sing?

Tell us. Oh, it's brutal. I sang a musical theater song. Okay, and? I sang all that jazz. Yes! Fuck me. It was so stupid.

And I auditioned for American Idol season two with Clay Aiken and Ruben Stoddard. Did you get anywhere? I made it past one cut of judges to go sing for other people. Before Simon and Paula and Randy? I never saw those judges. It's hard, though.

But I sang for that. I sang Christina Aguilera's I Turn To You and started with when I'm lost. Like my stupid voice. It was like too much. No one understands

that that is a D song. Oh, that song's I Turn To You. Rule number 300 something something of culture. We can't have something somethings. Get specific with your numbers, Christy. 384.

384 of culture. Christina Aguilera, the song is I Turn To You. Now we're going to take a quick break to listen to that song in its entirety. And when we get back, we're going to have so much more from Christy Cello, but I think now we should go to a word from ourselves about our upcoming show at New York Comedy Festival. So here's ourselves.

Ooh, Matt, I think I sense a chill in the air. Yes, well, if you thought that chill was the fall, the autumn, I have to say it's not. It's a chill between you and I. That's because we are going head-to-head, people, at Culture War. the autumn. I have to say it's not. Oh! It's a chill between you and I. Oh. That's because we are going head-to-head, people, at Culture War. It's our show for New York Comedy Festival,

and it's an I-don't-think-so-honey deathmatch. Team Matt and Team Bowen are going to have their own teams of ten comedians facing off head-to-head

in many rounds, honey, for the title of the ultimate culturista. Yes, there will be a $100 cash prize. Now, what are some things you could do with $100, Bowen? Oh, I think you could pay for a Spirit Airlines ticket to Tacoma. I think that that's a pretty reasonable thing you could pay.

That's like a standard. I was going to say a Con Ed bill. Oh, yeah. I think someone, whoever wins Cult War, will be paying their Con Ed bill. And they'll also be bringing glory and victory to either Team Matt or Team Bowen. You will find out which team wins on November 7th at 8.30 p.m. This is for New York Comedy Festival, people. And tickets are on sale now.

We're doing it at Villain in Brooklyn. We're very excited. November 7th, 8.30. It's a Tuesday. New York Comedy Festival, Brooklyn. Villain is the space. And you know what? November 7th, 2017 is election day.

And I would say that this election is more important than anything else that's happening in the country. Yes, I agree. Now, if you can't make November 7th 7th that's not something you can make work then you can come to the beautiful more positive more cathartic far more jovial night uh the proven quantity of our i don't think so honey live show this time at the bell house we're so excited to be performing there um we're gonna have 50 brand new comedians doing their I Don't Think So Honeys as we record them, as we introduce their stunningly,

stunningly incisive attacks to the world. And it's going to be so fun. So fun. Got some amazing comics lined up for it. We'll be announcing that very soon. And it's at the Brooklyn Podcast Festival. Brooklyn Podcast Festival. On November 18th at 10 p.m., honey.

Yes, at the Bell House. Very excited about that. So again, that's November 7th, Couch War and I Don't Think So Honey Deathmatch as part of New York Comedy Festival. And November 18th, I Don't Think So Honey Live at 10 o'clock at the Bell House as part of the Brooklyn Podcast Festival.

So there you go, people. Two options. And we'll find out who can really serve Colch. It's getting colder in here. And we're back with Christy Chalo. We are. Hi, everyone. We just listened to I Turned to You in its entirety.

And you know what? It holds up. I came. Yeah, Christy came. Christy's brain is horny. Yeah. And that actually really rings true in your upcoming show. Thank you so much.

It's Christy Bitch, which is going to be at Ars Nova on November 4th. I'm really excited and I'm so thrilled that you're a part of it, Matt. I'm thrilled to be a part of it. It's directed by John Trowbridge. Hi, John. Now we want to say hello to him. Hi, John. Now, we want to say hello to him. Hi, John. Hi, John.

How are you? And check out his Instagram page. It's one for the ages. You should check out his Instagram. He bears a little skin. Bears a little skin. I'm into it. I really adore him.

Another hottie in the show is Evan Williams. Oh, my God. Yeah. He plays the role can say he plays the role of my fantasy man. Yeah, fine. In the show

and he's something too. He's a phenomenal stand up. Very funny. And I, we also got close doing roasts but he's an incredible actor. Really? Oh my God.

It's like what he wants to do and he can do impressions and he's incredibly versatile and yeah, he's an amazing actor. So there's going to be a lot of reasons to come to this. Can you tell us a little bit about it? Why did you want to do it?

Of course. Like, talk a little bit about the show, because I want butts in seats. Oh, you're the best. It's really fun. It's the debut of my one-woman show. I've always wanted to do it. And I really love stand-up, which is what I normally do. But I wanted an opportunity to do a little bit more than just stand-up.

So it sort of combines stand-up and a little storytelling. There might be a little song and dance in there. There's some acting. It really follows my life as a horny and holy girl. Horny and holy. Holy and horny. And we don't just mean holes as in the holes we all

have. You're a religious lady. I am. I am. I need to pull up something that Christy posted today on Facebook that really, like, really affected me because it's just so funny and so true to her and who she is. And she even put the background on this.

You know those big backgrounds with the big letters? Yeah. She goes, is it hard for me to be holy and horny? Uh, IDK. Is it hard for the sun to shine? Sick of these tired ass questions. It's so stupid.

I shouldn't be laughing that hard at my own joke. It's so funny. But just you saying it's so funny. Sick of these tired ass questions. I really, I'm trying to talk more about how I'm Catholic, but do it in a way that is a little, I try for it to be a little refreshing, very positive and like not, you know, when you bring up Jesus, there is, you know, you alienate people. And you can anger people. And it's personal. And it's a strange thing to bring about.

But I'm trying to do it in this way where, like, I'm a very horny girl. I love sex. I sin all the time. And my Jesus fucking loves it. Loves it. And all the times I've heard you talk about religion have always been so personal, so beautiful, so moving, so refreshing. So I don't think you should fear that. I had friends that were, I wasn't at the show, but I had a lot of friends that were at Friend of the Show and competitor in culture, Elise Morales.

Oh, I do like her. Host a show called, so do we, host a show called The Roast of a 15-Year-Old Self. And there's an upcoming Roast of a 15-Year-Old Self and there's an upcoming Roast of a 15-Year-Old Self look it up at the New York Comedy Festival I don't want to interrupt you one of my favorite shows

I think I've ever done I've done it as well have you done it? I've done it it's a phenomenal show it was so fun and it's really really good but I had several people

come up to me and tell me how amazing yours was and also you did a really good You Are Heard. Remember the show You Are Heard? That's when I heard you talk about religion. Oh, my God. Yeah.

And so that was, I had a lot of people come back to me and they were like, I was really moved by this. Because a lot of people, you talk about being religious and they immediately shut down. But you were able to speak about it in a way that made it very real and it was very genuine and like i don't know what it is i think we all kind of associate it with our childhoods and maybe an oppression or like you assume someone else is oppressed you never assume someone's empowered by that i completely understand i think that's important too is like I understand the people who get angry at religion and don't like it and why people are atheists like I understand that but

you know it really is like I according to most Catholics I'm not a Catholic because I don't you know adhere to all the whatever's in the Bible but I very much pick and choose what I do for myself. And I have my own religion, but like I very much have like a strong relationship with Jesus. Like it's very important to me. I love that. And we had Blair on a couple episodes ago and she just talked about how she's starting to like turn to like God as this concept, not under an organized religion per se, but like just as like, just as like a good force in her life.

We've really talked, Blair and I have talked a lot about that. And you came up and we were just like, have you and Christy talked about this? And I, and she was like, we have, but Blair is like not necessarily operating under this,

like, you know, organized sort of structure around religion, but you are. And I feel like, like what, what do you like about just having the, I'll say institution, but not in a bad way,

the institution of Catholicism just to organize your faith behind? Does that make sense? What do you like about having Catholicism be the system that's already in place? Oh. Well, I think Jesus. Yeah, okay.

Like that being the center of it it's literally jesus but also i do go to church every sunday and i sing in the choir at my church yes and i like love for me i think it's like my equivalent to like how people would practice yoga or meditation like i turn off my phone and i just think and i and i kind of meditate on my thoughts and like you know there is like a stigma with religion and i get, you know, priests were molesting boys. And there's been, you know, it's parts of it are corrupt. And I get that. But, like, you know, I belong to a really amazing church.

And, like, the pastor is so, this guy, Pastor Kevin, and he's so funny. Like, he's watched my comedy online. And, like, and he'll always, like, kind of roll his eyes and be like christy and i always make these jokes with him like like literally one time i made a joke with pastor kevin and he was like this irish uh new york like older chubby guy he's really great and i was like i was like i said to him i go will jesus be mad or like is jesus gonna be mad if i'm gay or i'm not gay but i said would you be mad if i was gay and then he said no christy and i said hell yeah this weekend's gonna be lit and he was like christy and he laughs and rolls his eyes and it's like you know this like knowing we have a great

relationship and you have to you know it's a personal thing but yeah i love that it's personal to everyone no you didn't it's a personal thing. Yeah, I love that. It's personal to everyone. No, you didn't. It's personal to everyone, and I love thinking about it as this place where you can go and have a joyous, contemplative, singular experience. That is really nice. And thank you for talking to us about that.

Oh, of course. Because we know it's personal. We know that you have the right to be selective about when to talk about this. Yeah. Was there a reason why you found it? That's a good question. Like, I was brought up Catholic, and it gave me a lot of anxiety, and it gave me some of my OCD habits that I have because I was so afraid of going to hell and burning with the devil.

So that gave me a lot of Catholic guilt, and there were things I didn't like about it. But in the city, I sort of rediscovered it. I had this crazy experience where I had this cancer on my back. I had melanoma, and I had to get this tumor. They found it really late. And so I was set up to start this radiation for this cancer that I had, and they got it all out in surgery,

and all the doctors were very much like, oh my God, you have someone looking out for you. Like, you're so lucky. Had I waited another couple weeks, I would have had to get treatment. And it's like, I'm not this like survivor. I didn't beat cancer, but I got so lucky that I really believe that people are like

looking out for me. And I believe that like all the time. I believe in like angels and I believe in like the power of prayer and like I believe in it. So that really changed like my life. It's just, I really genuinely believe that it just matters what you decide to call it. Yeah.

You know, because you know, there's people in my life now that are like, it's about positive energy and you know, the universe. Yeah, exactly. Calling it the universe and investing calling it the universe and uh investing

positivity into the world and self-belief and all these things and it's like you could just change the verbiage of that and call it god and you would be still living the same goddamn life i as i as i take the lord's name in vain god loves it it all the time. God loves it. Yeah, I think he loves it. He's just laughing. He's R-O-C-L, rolling on the cloud laughing. Title of app. Rolling on the cloud laughing. That's really fitting. And you know what? Hot engineer Will nodded along.

Nodded along. Oh, Will, thank you. Even Oprah, who is definitely religious in a Christian sense like I think she's even learned to just like in order for something for she wants to tell everybody about God but knowing that she has to reach this wide audience with varied backgrounds she refers to it as like this force that like guides you it's funny but that's what but that's sort of what that is

therapy and my therapist one of the first days she asked me if I believed in God and she was like okay, then I'm gonna, then she'll use the term God. Yeah. But my girlfriend sees the same therapist and the girlfriend doesn't believe in God so she calls it the universe. And we're talking about the same stuff. Right. So interesting.

But it's very true. She uses God with me because that's something I respond to. Yeah. This might seem like totally out of nowhere but you talking about this but it's very true. She, she uses God with me. Cause that's something I, you know, can I, this is, this might seem like totally out of nowhere, but you talking about, um, this melanoma,

I mean, wow. First of all, wow. Second of all, um, do you and Molly ever talk about these kinds of things that like Molly, Molly Austin,

friend of the, a friend of the show, Molly Austin. She, she talks every now and then about, um, this near death experience or not, you know, not a She talks every now and then about this near-death experience. Or not a near-death experience, but like a really traumatizing physical experience she had.

About how that reorganized almost everything in her life. Yeah. It really, yeah. There was like a before and after with that. Was there like a before and after thing with that? Like what was that? What was the shift there after like that that moment i think that it was just like sounds so cheesy but it's just a real i think you know god but like it sounds so it's like you you really look at your life and you realize like you're lucky like i started practicing you know

what i practice more than anything else is gratitude i thought you were gonna say bocce i was gonna say bocce ball you know what i practice more than gonna say bocce i thought you were gonna say bocce ball you know what i practice more than anything else bocce no that's gratitude i have like a i practice it all the time and just to be thankful and i really felt like you know it's you know it's it's just help it's yeah i think it yeah you know if you want to practice bocce you could just when you host your show at Union Hall. I think the bocce made me laugh. At Battle of the Divas, you know, Union Hall,

you could just go right upstairs. They have a bocce court in the bar. That's true. Yeah, so if you did want to practice bocce and get better at it. Yeah. You should go to Union Hall. You really should.

So talk to us about your show, Battle of the Divas, with this bitch, Mateo Lane. First of all, just to bring this back to Kathy Griffin, Kathy Griffin and Anderson Cooper, that would be like if Matteo disowned you as a friend. Oh, I know. Which he would never do. He would never do.

He's not that type of person. It's like this, yeah. Right? I adore Matteo Lane. Our show, Battle of the Divas, you both have done it. And you are phenomenal. We just take two Divas. But who won?

I guess I just want to know who won. The amount of times Matt will bring this up is truly shocking. So just so everyone knows, I won. What does that sound like? A contest that someone wins and then he still can't stop talking about it. Sounds like victory. Sounds like a Trumpian fucking impulse to me. We get it.

You won. It was like our, we had, you guys did Britney versus Christina. Which is, which thank you for like honoring us with that

matchup because that is, that's a big one. That's the matchup. That is the matchup. I mean, there are only a few other ones that are like as big.

Yeah, Whitney and Mariah. Whitney and Mariah. We had NSYNC Backstreet Boys, which was phenomenal. That's great. So good. Was that Sharon and Evan? Sharon and Evan.

That's so funny. So we're coming back, and I really want your opinions on this matchup. We invited Marie Faustin and Evan Williams back to battle these divas, and I'm curious what you boys think. It's going to be Katy Perry versus Taylor Swift. I mean, huge. There is no comparison here. Are you for real?

I don't think there's a comparison. There's no contest. There's no contest. I think that's what, is that what you mean? Like it's Taylor. Taylor. Like Katy's had so many missteps. You guys were saying this and I was convinced you were going to say Katie Perry.

No, because it doesn't matter what our opinion is. There's one who's... Objectively, one is like... There's one who's defeated the other. Yeah. Like, Taylor's quote-unquote won, which we don't necessarily agree with, but that is the cold, hard truth. Wow.

Capital T truth. It was hard. I will say, Marie is defending Taylorlor that really so funny that marie of all people very funny it's gonna be it's literally is she gonna throw like well i don't know how she feels about connie but does that mean she's gonna throw connie under the bus how is she gonna reconcile connie nothing's off it's not about how you feel it's about what you do to win. It's like you have to throw it out. You have to perform.

Matt has an interesting tactic and you both did phenomenal. And this is why I lost. This is an interesting thing that Matteo and I noticed with Matt. He took the argument against Christina and turned it into the argument for Christina.

It was Trumpian. It was like using what you would shin on her for as if that was in power. But spitting it and then flipping the entire room upside down. It's a little Trumpy. It's Trumpy. Yeah, and who won the election? My man, Trump. No, okay.

So my opening argument was Britney has been through a lot. We've seen her through so much. Everyone wants to hear a sob story. She's been with us. We've been with her. And I did not, but I did not slut-shing Christina, though.

Not at all. And then I came out looking like a tramp. Okay, real quick, his definition of looking like a tramp. You wore shorts that were completely covering you. A black wife beater. A black wife beater, boots, and you wore a bandana. A skank. Is that?

A tramp. I looked like a skanky slut. So anyway, Matt's whole argument. You were completely covered. Completely covered. I was being such a hoe. And, oh no, that's debatable. And, I mean's whole argument. Completely covered. Completely covered. I was being such a hoe. And, oh no, that's debatable. And, I mean, Bowen.

Yeah. Matt used what Christina used. Matt used his body. He used his body. I was a sexual, I was a sex positive talented bitch. And, listen. And some of us out there in the world do not have that capital to barter on and i was i was no i was making a measured argument for britney passionate compelling

smart it was interesting and then matt poses naked in a pile of beauty babies and that picture i don't know and And I won hands down. It was so funny. It was incredible. But you know what? The people vote on whoever. That was right after Trump was elected, right? Or right before.

This was like February, January. Oh, and you had done Beyonce. So here's the thing. So you came back with the Beyonce. I had just represented Beyonce in the Beyonce versus Lady Gaga battle. And I had lost representing Beyonce. So I was not about to let that happen. And I saw what my failures were.

And my failures were just assuming that I was going to get by on public narrative. That's what I thought. I was like, Beyonce will win. Things people already know. Things people already know. And honestly, you have to play. Here's the thing about- People go in for the underdogs,

so the crowd goes to the shows to root for the underdogs. You have to play up the things that are funny and stupid about these icons because that is what makes the comedy crowd laugh. Every show we do,

we just want to have you guys. No, stop. We want to have Marie. We love Marie. No, have Marie and just have us. We want to have Marie. We love Marie. No, have Marie and Evan. You're bringing back Evan, though. Evan has won his past battle, and Marie has won her past one. Who did Marie represent last time?

He's done. And she was unbelievable. Did Marie go up against her best friend, Sydney? Actually, no. We have not had Sydney yet, and we need to. Oh, Sydney would sweat. This one we're taking. We decided to take two champions. Yes, yes, yes. Who know the show, who've done it before. No, that's smart. That's. And we need to. Oh, Sydney would suck. This one we're taking. We decided to take two champions.

Yes, yes, yes. Who know the show, who've done it before. No, that's smart. That's smart. All stars. Also with Sydney, we want to give her picks of divas. We want to put, we want to do like a Janet Jackson one. That's great.

So we want Sydney to like choose her diva, which one she wants to do. We came on your podcast, May She Rest. Rest in peace. Rest in peace. We pitched to you that you should do an edition with Disney villains oh my god and I talked to Matteo about that

and what did he think loved okay then yeah okay great literally loved open offer free offer take it

honestly thank you will you guys come back yes and do maybe like an Ursula vs. Maleficent or something that's exactly

what I was thinking Ursula vs. Maleficent I would root I would come in hard for Jafar, too. Oh, Jafar. Yeah, but Jafar is not.

Jafar versus Scar. Jafar versus Scar. Okay, and that's a different show. But Ursula versus Maleficent, those are the icons. Ursula would win it. Ursula's got to fucking win it. I would want Ursula. You would want to represent Ursula?

Yeah. I would, too. Dang, man. You know who would represent Maleficent is Mateo. I know. Mateo loves Maleficent. In fact, he talked about Maleficent at length on this podcast.

Oh my God, typical. Typical, typical. Typical. No, he has such an encyclopedic gorgeous knowledge of it. No, it's such a good show. Go check it out if you're listening.

You got shows coming up. You have It's Christy Bitch. You have Battle of the Divas. Battle of the Divas. Are you still roast battling? You know what? Not really. Now, tell us how you...

I've always been curious because you are basically a roast icon at this point. I want to know how you even got into... Like, what got you into this gorgeous world, into that orbit of people? Because you would never think of you as someone who is a roaster.

Yeah, it's interesting. You know, I knew... I kind of figured that i could get away saying some fucked up shit because i can say it you're so likable yeah yeah and i can really i mean and i say horrible i've said horrible things but the stand was like you started to do these roasts and i just tried it uh-huh and my first one i really i liked having like an outlet to say really fucked up things yeah Yeah, yeah. And I did.

What's the worst thing you've said about someone? Oh, God. This is the worst. I like going after like the physical. Yeah. I mean, I'll go after the weight. I'll go after, I mean, nothing's off limits. It's low hanging fruit, but it's the juiciest.

But you know what? It's the juiciest fruit. And I do want to say that like i did i did so many of them and i started to just that my stand-up and my comedy took a back seat so i'm very actively trying to not do them all the time anymore yeah um but i will say that like in all the times i've done them like everyone's very respectful like well me beforehand and they'll say like is anything off limits and then if i were to say yeah so don't say this this this which i never have but people have said that and that's respected but that's respected and like of course like i would want to know that for anybody like

i'm not saying yeah right like that you don't want to like hurt people no no you know so but but i had a great i mean it was a great opportunity for me so then you kept doing it at the stand and then finally comedy central came knocking or were they? Or were they just shot stuff at the stand? They shot a lot at the stand, and Jeff Ross would come into the stand a lot. And so he saw me a couple times, and then Comedy Central did the show at Montreal, and I was the opposite.

I mean, I think because somebody turned it down. Who cares? Because I found out a week before the thing that I was the, I mean, I think because somebody turned it down. Who cares? Because I found out, I mean, like a week before the thing that I was going and then I battled Jimmy Carr, who was the biggest name that did it. Yes, yes, yes. And he had won the year before. So he was like the undisputed champion. And so we battled each other and he's like this legend. And it was, I gotta be honest, I think people were like, oh my God, are you terrified?

Because you're going in this no-name underdog. And I was like, no, no, no. This is the best way I could go in. The best situation. Because you can say whatever. Because I know I'll get knocked out. Right. But I don't give a fuck.

I can just have fun. Nobody knows who I am. Right. So I had nothing to lose. And it was so fun. So I went in there like, I was very in the moment. I was nervous. I had to prep myself.

Yeah, yeah. And I just like, you know, I brought myself into it, which I liked. And it didn't matter. It was a lot of fun. It didn't matter. But did you end up winning? No. Oh, can I tell you something?

I've lost almost every roast I've ever done. I never win. I never, ever win. But I'm a great loser. I love that. And I do such a great job. And I don't give a fuck. It's not even about losing or winning.

No. I love that. Yeah. So it's been a lot of, it's been a lot of fun, but I also like, I'll say this too. I had, um, as like a story of how you can overcome my first like big shows that I did at Caroline's Jeff had asked me to host and it was like my first time performing at Caroline's and I'm, i don't know if you guys have been in similar situations but just just a bomb city just bombs over baghdad and i was i mean it was i i felt like i couldn't show my face in caroline's for a long time i feel like i'm on the

no-fly list there oh my god just you know this and i to the point where you're like you feel like you need to write everybody you know a letter and apologize for knowing them i know i felt the same way i'm actually doing a show next week that i bombed like years ago and i haven't done it for years because i bombed so hard and yet you're gonna do great and i bombed so hard the hardest i ever bombed was at a show with, and I begged Matt to do it with me because I didn't know what I was going to do because I didn't really know. You talking about Gay Show for All People?

Talking about Gay Show for All People. Oh, we fucking were so bad. But it was my fault. This is Josh and Aaron's. This is Josh and Aaron's show. And this was three years ago. I had no business. No, no, no.

It was longer than that. This is right after we had just met them. This is right after we had just met them. I didn't really know what I was doing in comedy just at all besides pop roulette. And they had asked me to do it, and I was like, I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do. Because at that point, I didn't do characters, didn't do stand-up, didn't do anything that was just me on a stage. Wow. But they asked me, and I was like, okay.

You're like, yeah, I'm going to do okay. I was too terrified to turn them down, because I still do. Looked up to them. Back then, I just worshipped them. Still do. So then I begged Matt to do this bit with me where we were two Grey's Anatomy improvisers. Our specialty was we will improvise a scene.

That sounds great. We came out, and we got laughs laughs because I was dressed as like Meredith Gray and he was dressed as Christina Yang. We were in scrubs. And we were like, we are Grey's Anatomy drag. And people liked that. Giggled, giggled. But then like, I don't know.

We just. We did it. And then I was so ashamed. I understand. Yeah. I mean. It takes you. I understand. Yeah, I mean. It takes you. It's a loss. Part of your soul goes away.

And I was like, this is the biggest show I've ever done. I thought, oh, Jeff's never going to. I still think, oh, my God, is he ever going to want to work with me again? It was an opportunity and I blew it. But part of me. You just move on. You get over it. You've got it.

It's part of it. Part of me me... But you just move on. You get over it. You've got it. It's part of it. Part of me gets off on this is failing and then bouncing back. And I was listening to... I've been listening to not a lot of Howard Stern. I'm trying to listen to more...

I'm trying to go through the back catalog of Howard Stern interviews and they're great. But the first time Lady Gaga was on, she talked about how she came up

in the Lower East Side scene and how she bombed all the time. But she was like like part of me got off on it and it made me want to be better and i was like yeah that's cool yeah it's interesting it's interesting has you know when you progress in this business the stakes get higher because we feel like we have more to lose it's i almost look back at the roast battle experience with a little sadness because I feel like I'll never really have it again. I was, I'm not a big name now,

but I was doing open mics. And to have gotten that and to go and now I feel like now it's like, well, people expect me to be funny. I want to just say, I'm still new comic, expect me to be funny. People know what you're about. I want to just say, oh, I'm still new comic.

But, like, you're not anymore. But that's the great thing. And this is so exciting about the show at Ars Nova is that the ceiling keeps – you keep – I'm sorry. The floor keeps rising. High floor. Ceiling's still high. Ceiling rises with the floor. So, like, your horizons just expand.

I love that analogy just but um you know you're just you're leveling up every every day and it's so cool that you've gotten to this place now where you can fucking have a show at Ars Nova that's a solo show thank you so much I'm looking forward to it and if you're here you should come yeah it's gonna be really good it's gonna be really good and you get to you get to me perform, which is always such a treat. Oh, my God. It's always such a treat. Oh, my God.

Do you know how much I love to perform? Yes. You boys are literally. Also, too, I want to say real quick that, like, I was obsessed with both of you before you knew who I was. That's not true. We knew who you were. I remember exactly when you first saw me perform, and I was in my head. Or at least when I know that you guys. Bell was. That's not true. We knew who you were. I remember exactly when you first saw me perform and I was in my head,

or at least when I know that you guys, Bell House. Yeah. And I was in my head because I wanted to do really well in front of you guys and I felt like I did fine

but I was like, You did great. You killed that night. I mean, I had like a good set but I was like, I really want to impress them because you guys performed

as Popper Roulette. Yeah. Which I have, Molly and I have sat and watched all the Popper Roulette videos all the time. I mean, I remember so many of them i mean i love that's like the i mean and i've gone on to follow all of you individually i'm like a stalker i would watch those videos and i would google you and i'd google sudi and i'd google tessa and i'd google amanda right and dave yeah

i'm literally a psycho and I loved it so much. I mean, I still love it. We loved doing it. It's just so hard to get everyone together. That's the thing. Around now.

It's gotta be so... You know who I started following on Instagram not too long ago is Amanda from Prop for Life who I've only met once. Yeah, uh-huh. That bitch can sing.

She's gonna be on the show soon. Shut the fuck up. She's gonna be having... I'm a fan. I geek out a little bit over her vocals. We're going to try a different format. We're going to try something a little bit different,

and it's going to be really fun, and the fans are going to be gagged. I just think everyone's so... I mean, all of you guys are so fun, and I love that. Oh, thanks, Christy. No, the first time Christy and I ever officially sat down and talked...

Oh, my God. You've heard this story before, right, Matt? I'm so glad you brought this up. I just want everyone to know that the first time Christy and I ever like officially sat down and talked was at the you've heard this story before right I'm so glad you brought this up I just want everyone to know that the first time Christy and I like actually like had a conversation was in the waiting room for the audition of what the fuck was that joking off it was joking off I mean god bless it it's a fun show but our

managers like put us in put us up for this why were we there there was so much prep and homework to do do you remember I came out of my audition, felt okay, and then said, I'm going back in? Because I remembered I had one joke that I wanted to tell them. And I went back in expecting it to bring the house down. And it was like, okay, thank you. And I was like, oh, and then I just slipped out.

No, I'm so glad you did that. I'm so glad you did that. Because you know what? That is like a swinging doors thing where now you're on this path in life that will... Where you will sort of make... Sliding doors? I'm sorry. Swinging doors?

You're a dummy! I'm a dummy. Sliding doors starring Gwyneth Paltrow. Gwyneth Paltrow? Gwyneth Paltrow. Yes. I know my references. So it's a Sliding Doors thing now because you will always go back into rooms and be like, wait, one more. And that is gorgeous. Yes, even though it didn't make a fucking difference at all.

Doesn't matter. They made up their minds. That room was so awful. It was. We had. They would show me. They would show funny pictures. Memes and pictures.

It's what we do on our Instagram every day. And at one point one of my notes was, okay, you know to make a joke about the picture, right? And not just say what you see. I was like, that feeling when a cat walks into the living room. They were like, okay, can you

say something funny? And I was like, oh no, I'm bombed. It was just like a weird, okay, can you say something funny? And I was like, oh, no, I'm bombed. It was just like a weird, like, aged frat house vibe where it was just these people sitting on couches, like, just foots up on a man. They were too chill. They were too chill about it. And it made me very self-conscious. Me too. I was like, look alive.

Yeah. We're trying to make moves here, baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyway, that was, that was, you were the perfect person to have in that room with me.

I'm so happy that's the genesis of your relationship. Yeah, the joking off audition. And I think I like wrote to you, like, did you hear anything?

I was like, no. Imagine if we both got it. Oh my God. I'd be miserable. It'd be a better show. My date's canceled. It's not out anymore. Right. That Fuck it. Oh my God. I'd be miserable. It'd be a better show. Like it's canceled. It's not on anymore.

Right. That's because. Oh, boo. I think I even went to. Clearly we know why that was canceled. It's because Bowen and Kristen weren't on the cast. Fucking weren't on it. I think I even casually mentioned it.

I was like, oh yeah. Yeah. And I'm friends with Mateo too. Like what an asshole. Oh my God. Oh, I used to do that all the time. I've done that in emails. I've written. Ugh, whatever. No, emails is asshole. Oh my God. Oh, I used to do that all the time. I've done that in emails I've written.

Ugh, whatever. No, emails is fine, but anyway. So funny. It is now time. Oh no. To move on to I Don't Think So Honey. Oh my God. Now, Christy. I didn't prepare anything.

The last time you did an I Don't Think So Honey, you were throwing things. You were stomping about. Do you remember the email I wrote you the day after apologizing? No, it was wonderful. And I wrote in that email, I took a water gun and used it without permission, and I feel like I overstepped.

No, but that's... You didn't overstep. You didn't overstep. In fact, it was entertaining. I might be wrong, but I feel like I was the first person to draw from the troll bowl. I think you might have been the very first. I think you were. I think you saw it.

Wait, that's huge. That's historic. First person to ever draw from the troll bowl. I was like, and I had something prepared, and I was like, you know what? I love a challenge. What did you say your prepared thing was going to be about? Well, maybe she'll do it now. I don't even remember.

Maybe she'll do it now because. I really didn't prepare anything for this. Don't worry. We'll go first. We'll go first. You go first, Matt. Okay. I will go.

Okay. First. Should it be current or no? You don't care. Mine is for all time. Okay. You can be as timeless as you want, baby, mine is mine is for all time okay can be as timeless as you want baby like jesus okay all right okay i'm excited okay this is matt rogers's

i don't think so honey it's hard for you to think of new ones because you've seen so many i know i know but there's always but you have to it's rule number six of culture you have to be original oh my god but it's like i immediately go to the classics who have done your show and I think of theirs. Don't go there, girlfriend. Don't go there. Don't go. Go your own way. It's rule number 14 of culture. Don't go there, girlfriend. This is Matt Rogers' I Don't Think So Honey. Time starts now. I Don't Think So Honey

auditions! No, you come to me! I've been out there performing. I do many shows. You want me for a project? You come to me! I Don't Think So Honey. I do many shows. You want me for a project? You come to me. I don't think so, honey. The ancient Greeks and the Romans, they started theater, but they did not start auditions. I believe it is natural, honey, for me to stand in front of a crowd and perform.

I believe it is something that even the ants do. I believe the birds do. I believe it is part of nature. I do not believe, honey, I don't think so, honey, that it is natural for the ants to say, hi, my name is ant number 16, and here is my audition. I do not

think the Greeks and the Romans stepped in front of each other and auditioned for parts. Therefore, why should I? This is capitalist nonsense. You want to see me in a performance to see if I'm good for your show? Come to my show in December. Have you heard of Christmas at the duplex? Is that really happening?

Five seconds. Come to my show, auditioners. You come to me. She gonna do what or who? Oh, and that's one minute with a little Cardi B reference. Goosebumps on my fucking body. Was that a monologue you memorized? There were beats, the timing, the reveal of your new show.

Oh, my God. Wow, wow, wow. Goosebumps all over my body. I've been doing this a long time. I believe that auditions are no fun. And really quickly, I'm sorry. Was the show called Have You Heard of Christmas? This is an exciting announcement.

I'm going to cry. I'm doing two shows at the Duplex in December. On December 12th and December 21st, I'll be accompanied by Henry Kapurski. It's the release of my Christmas album, Have You Heard of Christmas? Are you for real? Is my album coming out? Probably not. But let's just say there will be

a full catalog of original holiday music. I'm saving the date right now. I will be there. Have you heard of Christmas? Have you heard of Christmas? Have you heard of Christmas? No, yours truly is designing the album cover. And I've heard a few snippets of some of the songs, and I gotta tell ya, you can't miss this.

Can you give me a little, just a little hint? No, no, no. But I will say that I can announce that I will have some special guests. They will be announced. They will be announced. Oh my God. This is huge. This is fucking,

Will, did you have any idea this was gonna happen? No idea. No one's privy to this. Oh my God, now I'm scared. Okay, here we go. Have you heard of Christmas? December, what were the dates?

December 12th and December 21st at 930 at the Duplex. Amazing. The legendary Duplex. Cabaret. I love, first of all, I love, speaking of Josh and Erin Pioneers

I mean I've met people at Cole's School I've had shows there of course but now it really is becoming this nice new home Catherine Cohen can I piggyback on that

I opened for Catherine Cohen and I was floored floored to my core she just did her her one woman show and it was incredible and Henry played the piano for that as well

yeah we're going right after this we're going right after this. We're going to Henry's for his show. I wanted to go and I can't have a birthday party, but I really wanted to go see it. But it was phenomenal. Kevin Cohen was phenomenal. That venue, there's something about that venue.

It's really special. It's a great venue. Barbara, it's pretty cool. All right, this is Bell and Yang's I Don't Think So Honey. And his time starts now. I Don't Think So Honey, the employees of the Doc Martin store

on Spring Street, bitch. I just bought a pair of beautiful black boots. But honey, the service there was deplorable. If I want to walk in a room full of fucking bleach-haired Asians, I'd turn on Sailor Moon, bitch.

That's not even a good joke. Whatever. It was just all these dour, like, tragically hip asians and i'm like girl this was my phase back in old 2013 honey i've i done bleached my hair too i've been i i went to your fucking conversations of the west seminars in college and your liberal arts programs too honey you're not special you are not so smart. 15 seconds. You don't have the right to comment on how my feet are a little anomalous

or whatever the fuck you think. I have perfect feet. I get to wear whatever boots I want. 5 seconds. Don't tell me it's final sale. I know. I'm not an idiot. I don't think so, honey. Doc Martens. What's one minute? What do you think, Matt? Matt always has something to note on my I don't think so, honey. How was that? I have one minute? What do you think, Matt? Matt always has something to note on my I don't think so, honey.

How was that? I have a note. Well, not a question. A question. What? You had bleached hair. I bleached my hair. This was pretty recently.

Two or three years ago. Really? Bleached and it was blue and gray. Blue silver. And I miss that look. I need to see photos of this. I'll show you. I miss it so much, but I don't think I can get away with it now because I think people can be like, oh, but

auditions, blah, blah, blah, blah. I don't think there's any auditions. What do you have to say, Matt? I don't have a thought. I thought it was really beautiful. I thought what you did was amazing, and I resent the... I resent your tone in saying that. I constantly have a note.

No, I wasn't saying that. And let me tell you something. Me and Will just shared a glance, and I know that we both think that you're really ridiculous. We can note. No, I wasn't saying that. And let me tell you something. Me and Will just shared a glance, and I know that we both think that you're really ridiculous. We can't. No, Matt, you and I can't fight over how to engineer Will yet this early. Yeah, we can't fight because, bitch, I already won. Can I ask you something? He gave me his number.

I want a clarifying question for you. He gave me his number so I can text him later. I have a clarifying question for you about your I Don't Think So Honey. I will text him. What were the ants about? You're saying ants do theater? I was saying that everyone, every organism does theater. Okay, that's debatable.

Wait, what? Does that even mean? I think Matt is trying to be like little Mr. Sociologist for animals, but I don't think it really works. Wow. Okay, Christy, it's your turn. Sociologist for animals, but I don't think it really works. Wow. Okay, Christy, it's your turn. Do you have something ready? I do.

I'm just going to, I drew from the troll world in my head. I think you're going to do great. This is Christy Chella's. Thank you so much. I don't think so, honey. Her time starts now. Okay, I don't think so, honey. My adult acne.

I mean, the people who say it gets better, do they know about adult acne? Because I'm really struggling. You know, and it's not, it's in places I didn't know it would ever be. It's hard. You know, people go through that stage in high school, but I'm a grown-ass woman. And I'm really trying. I wish I was awkward in high school. Now I should be thriving.

You know, and when the pimples are by your hair and it hurts when you brush it. No. I mean, I don't think so, honey. Brushing hair with pimples. Right, Will? I throw the table. You know, I don't think so, honey, having to buy expensive creams. 15 seconds.

I don't think so, honey, having to buy expensive creams. 15 seconds. I don't think so, honey, having to contour my face around my pimples. I don't think so, honey, having to wear makeup when I don't want to wear makeup. I don't think so, honey. Why aren't pimples cool? You know? The Kardashians should make acne cool, and then I'll be cool. I don't think so, honey. Yeah, that's what I meant.

Wow, I think that we have a lot to think about. We do. Why aren't pimples cool like if the kardashians said they were cool they'd be cool if if some if fucking gwyneth paltrow right if if like some lifestyle blogger walked into this room and was like you know what pimples actually make you better in sex and sex better in sex you know what? You'd be like, great. And it's like a weird thing that like, maybe my next I don't think so, honey,

is going to be like makeup. Like I'm like over having to wear makeup. Hey. Like fucking, I didn't want to wear makeup. It's your choice. We're all born with

this fucking face. Yes, that's your choice. Let it out. Yeah. I think we have a lot to think about after this episode of Las Codas Aristas.

I'm shook. This was a very thought-provoking episode. It was an educational, thought-provoking, heartwarming episode. Lots of ups, downs, and all arounds.

Oh. Thank you guys so much for having me. And we want to say one more time that Christy's show, It's Christy Bitch, will be

What were you saying? November 4th. Perfect. At the dupe. No, at Ars Nova. At Ars Nova. Thank you so much. At Ars Nova. Thank you so much. At Ars Nova. I can't wait to see you guys there

and please come out. It'll be a really, hopefully it'll be a really fun time. It will be. I better be there because I'm in the gig. Matt's in the gig, girl. Christy, we love you so much. Thank you guys so much. I love this podcast. This has been a thrill. And you know what? You have the energy of

a thousand smiling butterflies. And you be as horny as you want. Let no one stop you from being horny. Thank you so much. Because you are holy. Thank you so much. We're going to end. Fill your holes with God.

That's my favorite song. Fill your holes with love Fill your holes with Christi Fill your holes with God Fill your holes with love. Fill your holes with Christine. Say it again. Fill your holes with God. Fill your holes with love. I just want to ask, was my vibrato consistent?

Yeah, it looks pretty consistent. Okay, thanks. Bye. Bye. Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram, at Forever Dog Team, and liking our page on Facebook. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home, and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind-the-scenes stories, crazy details, and honestly, just having a blast talking football. Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all times, from legends to our buddies to current stars. We're finally answering the age-old question,

what kind of dudes are these dudes? We're going to find out Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to dudes on dudes on the I heart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of on purpose.

My latest episode is with jelly roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. I was a desperate delusional dreamer. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. levels to what we experience as women. And T and I have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby an iHeart Women's Sports production

in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports.