Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - "Scream 2 Dream" (w/ Shannon O'Neill)

Episode Date: February 6, 2019

Matt, Bowen, and special guest Shannon O'Neill (The Other Two, High Maintenance) discuss the experience of being UCB's Artistic Director, where our cultural obsession with social media is headed, and Bowen becomes the first person in recorded media to call Mariah Carey an "Adverb Queen." They also talk wedding registries and Shannon reveals some "pre-time" lore about wedding cakes. ---MERCH! MERCH! GET YOUR LAS CULTURISTAS MERCH!https://www.teepublic.com/stores/las-culturistasLAS CULTURISTAS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST. LAS CULTURISTAS IS PRODUCED BY EMMA FOLEY.http://foreverdogproductions.com/fdpn/podcasts/las-culturistas/ Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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It's so fun. We covered a lot. We talked about how Ski Ulrich is hot now for some of us, but also maybe this is the last time we'll ever podcast together. We talked about what we would do if we had the power of Mademoiselle within us. We talked about the real black girl magic, which is never aging. We talked about how the scariest part of kissing someone is if you are wearing a heavy lip and the lipstick is gone after you kiss. We talked about wet pet San Pablo. We talked about Farooza Balk being truly a goddess. Legendary. So if any of that appeals to you you which it does and should and also does

you should check us out this week on teen creeps right here on the forever dog podcast network wherever you get your podcasts keep it creepy hi everybody before we get into this episode we have a little bit of a question for you, and that is, what's standing between you and happiness? Is it you? Are your own feelings a roadblock preventing you from achieving your goals? Have you thought about talking to someone but are uncertain or unsure of where to start? Well, BetterHelp.com online counseling is there for you. BetterHelp makes it easy to connect with licensed professional counselors,

caring professionals specializing in the issues that you want to talk about. Yeah, depression, stress and anxiety, trauma, grief, self-esteem, and other issues that are kind of, you know, stuff we're all dealing with. Yeah, so connect with your counselor in a safe and private environment and get help on your own time and at your own pace. You can schedule secure video and phone sessions or text your therapist. It's all included worldwide and you can start communicating in under 24 hours. Best of all, it's a truly affordable option. And for Las Culturistas listeners, get 10% off your first month with discount code ding dong. Yeah, that's discount code ding dong betterhelp.com forward slash ding dong. The promo code again is ding dong because if you've been wanting to talk, you've got to get started today.

So go to BetterHelp.com slash Ding Dong and simply fill out the questionnaire to help them assess your needs and get matched with a counselor you'll love and one that you can always change. Look, Matt. Oh, I see. Wow. Bowen, look over there. Wow. Is that culture? Yes.

Oh, my goodness. Wow. Las Culturistas. Ding Dong. Las Cultururistas calling you are on this little soapbox all of a sudden right before we started recording i'm so happy you mentioned that okay what's going on i have a prediction for the world okay i believe and we were talking with our guest about this yes because she mentioned seeing a young person yep playing a certain kind of toy and the toy was one of those ding ding ding things like a like kind of toy. And the toy was one of those dink, dink, dink things,

like a simple toy. Yes, colloquially they're known as dink, dink, dink things. Of course, thank you. That's rule of culture. Number eight, it's a dink, dink, dink thing. Those toys. And here's what I believe.

I believe that yo-yos and the like are coming back because I think that kids are going to start rejecting technology. Now you might ask where what i have to back this up none of them do facebook yes and i think that the snapchat and instagram thing is now such like a young person thing they get tired of shit quick yeah and i think like i just think i actually think like you know how when you look back at certain decades and you're like oh the fad of that decade was that I almost think in a way social media will be like that for the 2010s sure sure not that it's a fad because I think obviously social media is here to stay and

like the expanse of technology is here to stay but I think we'll look back at this time and be like that was like the age of like instagram and twitter being like ruling everyone's lives and gen z is going to be the the ones to like take us out of that i mean there's got to be something i love that i love that idea did i have a smart thought you always do and you don't give yourself enough credit you're right you're right and this is the journey that we're going on in 2019 man you're always smart though no I'm frequently dumb that's true

you did but why not we're very transparent here I feel that you have spent too much money on clothing for events literally but this is the thing that I've tell us the thing

okay so um was out in LA and For events. Literally. But this is the thing that I've. Tell us the thing. Okay. So I was out in L.A. And the day that I met Sandra. Oh. Miss O. I was on. I was. It just set me in such an emotional high.

It gave me such an emotional high that the next day I went to. I was like, I'm going to. I have to do this event. I'm going to reward myself with a nice piece of clothing for this event that will pay for itself the more times I wear it and other things. Always the best responsible fiscal way to go about things that you're going to reward yourself. And so I did that, then saw Sooty Green that day before the joke read where like all of our stuff was

going to be like anonymously read by Andy and Sandra and like it really and then like but anyway so I meet with Sudi and I'm like I just spent so much money on my tux but I don't care I deserve it and then she goes yeah I mean so I spent so much money on my on my jumpsuit but whatever and I was like okay how much money did you

spend and she was like like $200 and I was like oh and i was like okay how much money did you spend and she was like like 200 and i was like oh and i was like you can literally just add a zero to that and that's how much it was literally that much and so you're a psycho and so i felt really guilty about that and then we do the jerk read and then my stuff like it's fine it like lands it does okay but it doesn't like kill and then sandra comes over and we like talk about something and like it's fine it like lands it does okay but it doesn't like kill and then sandra comes over and we like talk about something and like she's she has notes for this bit that we wrote together and she's like actually change this and this and this i don't think this is working and like so to have that coupled with like me not doing well in that space like with her like me

like not there was no way she nailing it not nailing it i was like damn it you were in a you you were in a man veritable fugue state and but but then like after that i was like it was pure self-flagellation like i am a piece of shit why i spent so much money on this could it be returned i tried returning it they literally fucked me over because they were like well we had to sew on buttons so that counts as an alteration so you can't return it and i oh wait a minute and this fucking guy at the sax fifth avenue the manager at the sax fifth avenue men's formal clothing section he was a guy well yeah sure i'm not it's not that gendered no he no they're bad keep going so he talks and then i'm so then over the phone i'm just like i'm i just i wasn't told about the button alteration and frankly it's just i was very upfront about my my budget and

like i just can't justify the price point the the the the price and he goes well maybe you should and then he maybe you should have thought of that before you made the purchase and i was like fuck you wow i'm not gonna get guff from someone who like. But when they work at Saks Fifth Avenue, they can talk to you like that. Yeah. Well, whatever. He gets, he has to like swim in footies all fucking day. So his life sucks.

And if you work in retail, I'm God bless you. But he particularly sucks. Well, this is a life lesson for you both. I talked about this in therapy today and I, I've, I've let it go. I, my guilt is sort of, I've, I've sort of relinquished all that guilt and it's not,

I'm happy that you'd said you, you did this. It humanizes you for the listeners who think of you as an untouchably intelligent being. Um, I'm not, I'm, I'm so stupid, so stupid,

but it's fine. Oh my God. It's not stupid at all The literal The diametric opposite of stupid She truly is A genius A leader in the community Of comedy of course that's the community I'm referencing

Do you remember the first time you saw her perform I was one of those Fucking obnoxious they're not obnoxious But I would wait in line for ASCAP. Some of them are. Some of them are. Well, whatever. The ASCAP line culture We were obnoxious when we were 19 sitting out there waiting for the line. No one's the best version

of themselves in the ASCAP line. Famous thing to say. Rule of culture number 27. No one is the best version of themselves in the ASCAP line. But saw her doing ASCAP, then got into Stepfathers. I was like, this person is I actually, this is kind of kooky, but I didn't see ASCAP line but saw her doing ASCAP then got into Stepfathers I was like this person is I actually this is kind of kooky

but I didn't see ASCAP until years and years and years later that's fine actually my first ASCAP show was when Sudi Green did Monologues oh fun

that is actually the first time I ever went and that was years later yeah and but I was like a weekend team like bitch well of course

like I used to go see Stepfathers all the time I would always go see Law Firm. Like I remember, I realized the first time I saw Brian Foss perform was like 10 years ago.

In Law Firm? Like what are, whatever. Law Firm. Can we fact check this with our guest? No. I don't know if Law Firm's

been around on the weekend for 10 years, but it was in Harold. I know, I remember seeing him like years and years ago. And my favorite team was whatever team. Oh, well that was when I got obsessed with Fran.

Of course. I was obsessed with Frank. Yes. Yes. You have to be. You have to. Still to this day. Still to this day.

Um, but anyway, we're not talking about her, but you can see her on TV. If you don't have access to a New York improvisational, uh, sphere. So you can see her on TV.

She's, in the upcoming show, The Other Two. Which you know we've been chatting about. We actually are doing weeks of Other Two programming. And her episode fits into that block. I love that ep so much. And she is in the upcoming season making a return appearance. They don't do this for all the characters. Not everybody answers this.

In high maintenance. She's doing a reprise, baby. And that is huge. I thought your episode was so fucking funny. We'll talk about this in season two. Please welcome Shannon O'Neill. Hi, Shannon. Hi.

I'm so bad at taking compliments, but thank you so much. Well, the thing is, when you have a storied... The thing is, I get that. I get that. It's a lot. Especially when you've done as much as you. And you know you've done a storied, like the thing is like, I, I, I get that because it's like, it's a lot like, especially when you've done as much as you,

it's like, and you know, you've done a lot. I've been around a while. And you've done, you've done the work. You've done the work. You know what?

You sit there and you fucking take this. Um, I demand it. I demand it. Well, whenever I have someone that I really respect in, like when Tammy Sager came in, we were just like,

we were just like, screaming all the praise that we felt for her. But, Well, whenever I have someone that I really respect in, like when Tammy Sager came in, we were just looking at each other, screaming all the praise that we felt for her. And it's all deserved. It's deserved. It wouldn't be authentic or genuine if it weren't true. Can I slam the guest that was here before? Yes.

I think they're really deaf, and I need to turn my headphones down a little bit. Wait, okay, wait. Because these are really loud, so apparently Brandon Scott Jones is very deaf. He's very deaf. Yeah. How's that? Is this better?

Oh, that, I turned myself down. Well, talk at your, this isn't. Oh, this is me. That's you. This is me. And you know this is me. A little louder. A little louder.

You know I'm loud. But I feel like you respond to my volume. That's good. That's good. That's good. No, no, I'll try hers on and I'll be like, I'm not decibel. Wait, now you're so loud, Matt. Sorry, bitch. No, you're good. This is good I'll try hers on and I'll be like now you're so loud Matt sorry bitch

no you're good this is who I am I'm a very loud person I appreciate people that project talk shit about Brandon Scott Jones go well he's deaf

sweaty no I can't talk shit about him he's literally the best I love him so much I walked in before and I saw him and shit about him. He's literally the best. I love him so much. I walked in before and I saw him and I was like, oh, it's a good day. He's someone, this sounds gross. He's Joy. He's someone who when he's-

It's going to sound gross? When he sweats, I don't mind. Oh, I was just kidding about that. He's a sweaty guy. I think he'd cop to that. But when he sweats, I'm like, it's a good look on him. Well, he sticks to the outfit. Like he'll be on stage and have a hoodie and a t-shirt, but he won't take the. But when he sweats, I'm like, it's a good look on him. Well, he sticks to the outfit. He'll be on stage and have a hoodie and a t-shirt, but he won't take the hoodie off

and he'll be sweating. So he sticks to the outfit. Yeah, that's a thing, I think, with us gays, is when we pick out a look, it's like you stick to the look. You gotta stick. Especially when you know a certain space is going to be hot. Was the Chelsea space hot on stage? I'm not remembering.

It's usually cold. No, Chelsea was pretty good unless the ac was on the uh on the on the fritz which is a um a common thing with all ucb spaces but the chelsea one was not didn't go on the fritz too much yeah or during del close marathon it'd be if there's too many right right right exactly normally no if you think about if you think about all the air conditioning in the world oh bitch terrifying

it's a lot truly the scale could keep you up at night yeah but I didn't grow up with air conditioning really

what'd you grow up outside of Philly and Pennsylvania but just like we just didn't have it because we couldn't afford it and so

actually my mom we had an air conditioner that she gave to the neighbors so the neps had our air conditioner but i just the neps they're nice nice older couple who were very sweet to me they sound nice they were nice they took care of me when like my mom was like at work and stuff if i needed something if i got like bit by a carpenter bee and i was heard screaming in my backyard mr nep came running over being like, what's happening over here? So I just learned to sleep and live without it. Wow.

And you can do it as a young person. It was a fan heavy house. I had like a, yeah, I had like a, well, it was a split level. So our rec room was always cool because there was like shade on it. And heat rises. Yeah, heat rises. So I hung out a lot in the rec room. If I had to, I'd sleep down there but a fan

i love sleeping with a fan on my face yeah i enjoy that as well but the air any resentment towards your mother for giving the air conditioner to the naps no because it was a kind gesture because they were an older couple and they needed it and we didn't need it right my mom still doesn't have one she's like 70. She just learns to live. But don't you think she'd enjoy one? No.

Now it's just like a force of, this is the way I live my life, air conditioner-less. Yeah. And I don't think our house can handle it. I see. The outlets, you know,

and the amount of power an AC gives. Yeah. She would always be thinking about that. Yeah. That wattage, baby. Yeah, or like the air conditioner

pulling the window out. Yeah. She would just be like, the window, yeah. The house needs some help. Every time I put in my air conditioner, it is your risk that I'll kill someone. I'm not good at that.

Wait, I'm sorry. Say that again? Like when you put in the air conditioning into your thing. Oh, yeah. Like that's not a good, that's not a thing I should be doing. Mine's screwed in.

I see. Mine's permanent in my apartment. Good for you. That's what you want. Yeah. That's what you want. And I feel like, you know, with this Green New Deal that AOC is proposing. Oh, we're bringing.

We're all about it right now. But come the summer, we're not going to want to be giving up our air conditioner. That is intentional. AOC knows that we're going to want to be on board for a green new deal in the winter that's what she that's what the whole her whole game is i never trusted her i never trusted her what a lying you always request when the guard is down exactly hello through this world that's how you get through this world now okay tell us more about the neps to be honest because I want you to talk about your

upbringing in Pennsylvania with the neps as the reference point okay so the neps lived across the street got it and they were an older couple they had kids that were out of the house and like their kids would come over

and their grandkids, but they always, my mom was a single mom. It's just me and my mom. I have two brothers, but for some reason, they lived with my dad. That's something I can unpack somewhere else.

Because the men go with the men and the girls, they go with the girls and the neps. In the end, probably okay. But, uh, so yeah, the neps would always like, I was like a latchkey kid, so I always knew if I had an issue, I could go to the neps. They were very kind.

Um, there was a, um, I love basketball, and they knew I love basketball. Like, I like saved up one somewhere so I could buy the basketball hoop for the, for my driveway. And there was this, they had a VHS to VHS recorder. So if you went to the Blockbuster or, what was it? It wasn't Blockbuster yet.

Hollywood Video? Or no? It was like a, it was a Baskin Robbins that had a video store next to it. Wow. And that's where we would go to get our movies. But you would duplicate them. This was pre, yeah. So if there's a movie that I loved,

then my mom would be like, she would take it to the Naps and be like, I gotta return this by Thursday. Can you make a copy for Shannon? And they would do it. And there was this one movie I really loved called the, it was, I'm gonna get the name wrong, but it's like Pistol Pete, the Pete Maravich story.

It was kind of like a hallmark original type of uh movie but it's like this awesome story about pete maravich who's a basketball player and like him as a little kid and like scrawny little working his way yeah comes an nba player in the end but um they made a copy of it for me and i it's like i always remember that because i was like i loved watching it and i got to watch it all the time because of the naps. Because of the little nap gesture. Yeah. You never forget those good neighbors. No.

They're great. There was a woman who lived next door. Her name was Marianne. And my mom did hair in the house. So she would come over. And I used to sit there and watch my mom do these women's hair. And so I would pick up the way that suburban women talk to each other. So whenever they'd go to tip my mom

and she was like a really good friend of theirs, my mom would go, no, you don't have to do that. Stop, stop. Don't do that. Stop it. Get out of here. No, no, no, no.

And Marianne one time said to me, I want you to come over and I want you to pick out a video game for Nintendo and you can pick anyone you want. And I literally said, no, stop. Don't do do that you don't have to do that stop it that's not that's too much and she got mad at me like i was being disrespectful and my mom was literally watching it like a car wreck and she was like no he's trying to do the thing where like he's he's performing and the woman didn't get it she was like what's wrong with my video games

it all of a sudden it became this Long Island thing. But she was a nice lady overall. What's wrong with my house? She doesn't want to come over to my house? She thought when she left, my mom was like, you know that Marianne,

she's crazy. We're not going over to her house. But it was just me trying to be like a 40-year-old woman. Like, stop it! Wow. And the naps were good. I think once,

and when they and they both eventually well they did once they both passed away it really affected my mom

because like that was that was like who she could go to right if like another neighbor was like upsetting her and like she could

you know she was having like she had this like like this couple so now my mom doesn't really have that allies on the street she does she has the a coupleos a couple of houses down

that they kind of like will look out for my mom for like certain things. And like Mr. Shiravo. That's a great last name. Mows my mom's lawn. We'll give her a discount when he knows that she doesn't have the money that month. There's like some good souls,

but there's some nasties. But I mean. There's some nasties now and I'm not there to help. No, listen, you're not there to fucking be the nip. No, no, I wish I could. Were there a lot of kids on the street when you were growing up? Yeah, one of my best friends, Holly Ann,

she grew up on my street, and that's when we had school closed for snowstorms. Love that. Go to Holly Ann's. She had a Nintendo. We'd play Nintendo. There was one bad storm that was like twointendo we'd play nintendo there was one bad storm that was like two weeks that we had off because it was so bad and it was like oh yeah

it was like a long time i think it was like kind of came after like a winter break so it's like a winter break into so it's like this like i remember missing like basketball games were canceled and that pissed me off um i love basketball uh you won't even see like that's that's like a real love for basketball though because I think even when even though I loved sports

when I was a kid like if a game got canceled I'd be like that's cool we can play at home no you want it to play no because they don't really

reschedule those because like sometimes you'll lose out on it but yeah there was Holly Ann and there was a bunch and then Cody Rosenberg

was also my age you gotta have a Cody on the straw you gotta have a Rosenberg Cody Rosenberg Mike Pizzi. You gotta have a Cody on the straw. You gotta have a Cody. You gotta have a Rosenberg. Cody Rosenberg. Mike Pizzi was like a couple years younger. Mike Pizzi.

But we hung out. We got, Mike Pizzi and I got in trouble because remember, did you ever make your, you and your friends make each other faint?

Okay, I mean like, we would try to but we didn't know how. But I know what you're saying. Stupid shit like that happened all the time. That was like, you know,

that was like a trend. You know what we did? We did that thing where that was like you know that was like a trend yeah you know what we did we did that thing where it was like you'd dead arm each other yeah oh dead leg like punching each other in the arm

until like you couldn't move it or punch dead leg where you know the right spot to punch when the other goes dead yeah yeah yeah no we'd make each other faint and so

where you bend over don't do this at home no will I get in trouble I don't care listeners I know you're so stupid but don't do this at home do not do this at home you bend over. Don't do this at home. No. Will I get in trouble? I don't care. Last of the reason listeners, I know you're so stupid, but don't do this at home.

Do not do this at home. You bend over at the waist and you take like deep, heavy breaths while you're bent over. And then as soon as you stand up against a wall and you take two hands against your neck. I have done this. I have done this.

And then it's terror. And then you, and then you pass out, but you have the most vivid dreams. Yeah. Like you're only out for like 10 seconds, 15 seconds. But you would feel like you've been dreaming for forever. And they're so vivid and insane that I was like, I kind of got addicted to those crazy,

those dreams that I would have. It was a mini trip. Yeah. Yeah. And then you'd come out of it and your friends would either be freaked out because they're like, you were shaking and we couldn't wake you up for like 10 seconds. But Mike Pizzi and I did it and he instigated it and I was like, sure, let's do it. Oh my God.

And then somehow it got back to his mom and his mom then called my mom and my mom was mad. She's like, why did you make Mike Pizzi faint? And I was like, no, Mike Izzy. Sorry. I keep saying Pizzi. It's not. It's Mike Izzy.

Canonically, it's Pizzi. It's Pizzi. I mean, it's gotta be Pizzi. Mike Izzy. I was like, that sounds weird. And then I was like, I, it was, I was like, he instigated it. I was like, I did it. But it's like, we both are equally at fault.

No, yeah, there's no reason why you should have taken the fall there. Where is he now? Do we know what he's doing? I do not know. His parents still live in the neighborhood in the same house. Got it. Are you still friends with Hallie Ann? Like, text every now and then.

We've kind of lost touch, but it's still like, we can text each other. I don't think I have any friends from like elementary school i have one i have one listener from middle school wow claire canary and by the way back in the day she was like she was like hanging with the cool kids and i was like okay she's untouchable i can't really like there's no like social thing here but like every now and then she'll be like i just listened to the episode. So funny. I'm like,

you were like, that's great. Which is just, which is just sweet in the end. Yeah. Very nice. I have a question for you guys. Go.

He's smacking his lips. My best friend from when I was in kindergarten and first grade, his name was, first name was Billy. I will not say his full name because that would be uncouth. Billy. We discovered at the same time Celine Dion and Mariah Carey

and all the pop divas. And what we would do is we would sit in his room and just listen and listen and listen. And you know who he was obsessed with? As a kindergartner. Shania. No. I was obsessed with Shania. He didn't like Shania actually and it was a source of contention. He loved Robin. Oh! No, I was obsessed with Shania. He didn't like Shania, actually, and it was a source of contention.

He loved Robin. Who was, at the time, Show me life! My number one favorite song growing up. Yeah. Wait, Robin? Dancing on my own Robin was a pop star in 95. When you were in kindergarten. Yes. Well, like,

in 95. 97, 98 was Show Me Love. We could debate. I will look it up. I guarantee it was not that long ago. All right. Not 95. Well, all I'm knowing is, all I can tell you is that in 1995, 1996, when I was this age, in first grade, let's say, like this kid was obsessed with Robin and I never got Robin.

But what I'm saying is. Oh, you're right. 95. Sorry. My question is, and then after that, he kind of became like, sort of like... He masculinized. Like a swaggy, kind of like white kid,

like a little Eminem kid, the worst. And he kind of masculinized, and started to wear the flat brim hats, and started to get very like... This is in first grade, he started doing this? This was like, he started to do this in like, fourth, fifth grade as we kind of separated

and then I moved away. Yeah, that is the age. But I lost touch with him and I want to know, do you think the fact that at five years old your instinct is to worship Celine Dion, that that says something

about you and your essence, is Billy gay? This is tough. And is he my soulmate? I'm not the right person to ask. why aren't you the right person to ask because when I was five and worshipping Celine Dion

I was in Montreal where that was like you had to do that you're right you don't know you had to do that if you were in where is this

Long Island New York it feels like he started to rebel from his instincts yes right whether it's a, uh, I don't think I wouldn't be able to attach sexuality to it,

but I think at least maybe there was some, he started to feel a shame of what he really enjoyed. That's absolutely true. So he could be, he could still be a straight guy, but there's some strain, some repression of like, Oh,

I can't like this because that means I'm something else. Yeah. This fall on Bravo. It's time to turn up. Think you've seen it all? I don't think you've been a good friend to me lately. We're friends like that. Who needs enemies?

You ain't seen nothing yet. Cheers to being Germanic. With the Real Housewives of Potomac. Oh my gosh, can I take this in? It's going to be amazing. New York City. Everyone is a gossip. No one gets a happier life.

Salt Lake City. We don't wear pastels. We wear fashion. And below deck sailing. You broke the rules. And now you're here getting upset. Watch all new seasons on Bravo or stream it on City TV+. Let's have a real good time.

I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. Guess what, folks? We're teammates again. And we're going to welcome you guys all to Dudes on Dudes. I'm a dude. You're a dude. And Dudes on Dudes. I'm a dude. You're a dude. And Dudes on Dudes is our brand new show.

We're going to highlight players, peers, guys that we played against, legends from the past. And we're just going to sit here and talk about them. And we'll get into the types of dudes. What kind of types of dudes are there, Grunks? We got studs, wizards. We got freaks. Or dudes, dude.

We got dogs. Dogs. We'll break down their games we'll share some insider stories and determine what kind of dude each of these dudes are is randy moss a stud or a freak is tom brady a dog or dudes dude we're gonna find out jules new episodes drop every thursday during the nfl season listen to dudesudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999,

a five-year-old boy floated alone in the ocean. He had lost his mother trying to reach Florida from Cuba. He looked like a little angel. I mean, he looked so fresh. And his name, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere. Elian Gonzalez. fresh. And his name, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere. Elian Gonzalez. Elian.

Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian Gonzalez. At the heart of the story is a young boy and the question of who he belongs with. His father in Cuba. Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or his relatives in Miami.

Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. At the heart of it all is still this painful family separation. Something that as a Cuban, I know all too well. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, as part of the My Cultura podcast network available on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Cheryl Swoops, WNBA champ, three-time Olympian and basketball hall of famer. I'm a mom and I'm a woman. I'm Tarika Foster Brasby, journalist, sports reporter, basketball analyst, a wife, and I'm also a woman.

And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. See, athlete or not, we all know it takes a lot as women to be at the top of our game. We want to share those stories about balancing work and relationships, motherhood, career shifts, you know, just all the s*** we go through. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women. And T and I, well, we have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby,

an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the I heart radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcast presented by elf beauty, founding partner of I heart women's sports. Our second grade teacher literally shamed us because we both knew all the words to tell him by Celine Dion and Barbra Streisand.

And we wrote it down. She, she was like, all right. So here's the thing. Instead of, okay, this is fucked up. This is a deep revealing thing about myself. So we would have like journal time.

And instead of writing my own stories, I would write down all the lyrics to like Mariah Carey songs. And Mariah Carey songs back in 95, 96, like at that time, they were actually, the vocabulary she used, like was actually kind of that's my favorite thing she still uses crazy like yeah like she used words like incessantly and nonchalantly and like all these things and i knew these words from mariah carey and so i would literally just verbatim write the lyrics to her songs because i loved them so much and my teacher

one day said you you're not at this level my second grade teacher was like I have to read this one thing that Matt wrote and he she's like she read the words to tell him out loud and Billy and I had written it together I was like no and it was fully like a love song about a man to the whole class to the whole class she did this and it was just so embarrassing and then I

remember I moved to a different school not because of that but I moved to my next school that I went to. I did the same thing in third grade. And my teacher, Miss Patchouli, found the lyrics to Emotions by Mariah Carey in my book. And she would write notes back. And she was like, Matthew, this story is so beautiful. She obviously wasn't a Mariah fan.

She was like, this is so beautiful. She obviously wasn't like a Mariah fan. Okay, were you just- She was like, this is so beautiful. You're so advanced. Like the feeling in this poem is incredible. And it was like literally like Mariah at 24, like her, I had her pop stardom. Wait, can you look back at the first experience where you say you felt like you were shamed?

Yes. Can you replay that in your mind? And was it her? It was, this might feel like a leading question. Like it was her shaming you or was it her like surprised by it? But like you were, you were embarrassed. So you felt like it was shame, but maybe she was celebrating you. Like how can you, can you look back at it?

It was definitely her being like, let me read this out loud because I think it's funny. I think she thought it was funny. And I remember everyone was laughing and we were laughing too. And I was like, it's a song. It's a song. And she was like, okay, whatever. But I remember. Like funny to her, but funny to kindergartners is going to be like different.

And I feel like looking back, should she have done that? No. But shaming of teachers but that kid oh yeah you don't forget no and no they're often they do it often i remember that's i had a teacher who after the columbine shooting well she was very affected by the columbine shooting and she made us stand in a circle and hold hands and sing the song hands by jewel my hands are small i know but they're not yours yeah we had to do this that's beautiful and then weeks while wearing trench coats the weeks later when we were bad at recess you're bad at recess we were bad at recess but bad behavior during recess we were

yeah we didn't do recess right no um we were badly behaved at recess and the lunch monitor that would like help us like play or whatever, like facilitate us like having recess, came back and said, this is what's happening. And then my teacher came back and only looking back now do I realize how fucked up from Columbine she must have been because she was like, you know, this is exactly how Columbine happened. But what was your behavior? I think we were like bullying each other? I think we were like not listening to one person who wanted to play something different. I mean, what could it possibly have been? It couldn't have been crazy. Oh my gosh. But she

literally... And then now looking back, I'm like, she was obviously a very scared teacher. She was just... Who was shaken and emotional about the fact that this happened in a school and wanted so badly us to to be part of the change. And she was just, I think, emotionally distraught. She was very jarred and still feeling aftershocks.

But my question is, going back to the Mariah lyrics, would you just write the lyrics down bare-bones? Not an original creative thought on the page. No filler. It wasn't other other characters dialogue then so you wrote the lyrics down and then you that passed as a story to your teacher because she didn't know what it was from and it was i just she just maybe she just wasn't a mariah fan so she then thought it was so when she read it she thought it was a story she thought it was the first one the first teacher the second teacher

the second the first teacher i think she didn't look into it as much she kind of just shamed me and moved on but the third the third grade teacher i had was like fully praising me for my there's no narrative arc to you just writing down like nothing it's just in the second person it was poems it's prose yeah okay she just thought they were like these incredible poems that were right i was right and you wrote like you've got me feeling emotions deeper than i've ever dreamed of. You've got me feeling emotions higher than the heavens above. Higher. You know the way to make me lose control.

As a third grader. When you're looking into my eyes you make me feel so ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh. If you really think about it it's fucked up. That's a nail. That's a great sketch. That's a perfect sketch that is great and this is the thing this is the thing about mariah that i think people haven't

fully zoned in not like like like zoomed in on is the reason she has such a funny vocabulary in her lyrics is because she's an adverb queen like even in Get the Fuck Out, she goes, my prince was so unjustly handsome. Yeah. Incessantly. She's always using vocab. Yeah. Inevitably. Like, she loves to end on L-Y words.

So she's an adverb queen. Yeah. But specifically, I want to be the first person to say on recorded media that Mariah Carey is an adverb queen. Also, like, the weird words in Always Be My Baby where she's like, you'll always be a part of me. And definitely.

I'm part of you indefinitely. It's like indefinitely. But it works. It works well. It works well. Okay. Shannon, I think this is the time in the show where we ask you

the question we ask all of our guests. Because clearly now we're talking of our culture as Mariah. What your culture is. Yeah. And that's not my culture. No. If it's Pistol Pete.

But I like Mariah, but I was like, oh, that's not the music I listened to when I was growing up. But I didn't listen to a lot of music. That's fine. It could be the Pistol Pete thing. But what was the culture that made you say culture was for me? The culture that made you move into a cultural direction? It would be Letterman. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Great. I remember you saying this. Like Carson Letterman. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Great. I remember you saying this. Like Carson Letterman. Yeah. I used to. But Letterman won out. Letterman, yeah, just definitely because he was, um, I liked, um, watching Carson, uh,

because he was a good interviewer and like, I would love specific guests that he would have on like Joan Embry, who was like a zoologist from the san diego zoo i love like certain segments um but i would i was always allowed to stay up on fridays to watch letterman um when we finally got a vcr i could record it but i would sneak down because i knew my mom would watch carson and i should have been bed so i'd sneak down and sit on the top of the stairs because she would fall asleep on the couch. So Carson would end and then Letterman would start so I could sit there and watch Letterman as long until she would start to stir

and then I would gently rise and go back to bed. So that was a thing where I would sneak my Letterman viewing because that's very much, I think, my comedic kind of like way of thinking is like like being sarcastic i like how he doesn't pull punches and like his little man on the street stuff it was all just like i was like what is this this is awesome well let like carson like established like formative norms i guess now in late night but like letterman like was someone who like led with tone right like i feel like like people want

to sound like him like it affected people's other people's comedic voices in this way that like he took like it was like chances yeah letterman very much like just took like big swings yeah to see if something would would work totally and i think carson was just like set and nailing it but didn't need to like reinvent anything where carson was like kind of i mean a letterman was like oh this has been fighting to stay alive yeah because he already had one show canceled on him so right i almost feel like colbert is the worthy successor to letterman because colbert doesn't ever like he never um would sacrifice like his sense of humor or his intelligence in the same way as letterman whereas like with fallon now and it's kind of like in the same vein as carson and you know jay leno before him where it leads with the fun and it's about like being a late night show whereas like letterman

is like david letterman it's like it's it's it's the tone is set and it's like his show whereas like it's the tonight show whereas that was letterman oh yeah now it's like his show, whereas like it's the Tonight Show, whereas that was Letterman. Oh, yeah. Now it's Colbert. You know what I mean? Yeah. But even with Late Night, it was like Late Night with David Gardner.

Because I watched Late Night, which was maybe before your time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Late Night was after Carson. So I was watching that until 92 and then 92 he moved to CBS. Okay. Yeah, so he was 1230 slot until i believe 92 i might be a

little off and then he moved to 11 30 at um cbs and conan felt like the right successor to letterman yes on late night yes i do love conan but letterman i thought i will give credit to letterman as being a great interviewer as well yeah oh yeah especially, yeah. Especially even towards the end, I think. I don't know. Well, like just. He never was worried about the guests' feelings. No. Sometimes.

The Paris interview. Yeah, Paris interview. Or there's one before that that. Shit. That's just. Farrah Fawcett. Farrah Fawcett. You ever watch the Farrah Fawcett interview?

Oh, no. What went down with that? That's like that is legendary okay can you give like a play by play I can't that's fair

but it's like it's just someone who is clearly uncomfortable on something oh yeah she's under the influence and out there

doing an interview and it was bananas wow it's legendary and then there's the Drew Barrymore interview where she flashed him

yes yes there's like I meanmore interview where she flashed him. There's like, I mean, late night has all these like, is it like the, oh gosh, is it not the, throws the,

oh, he threw water at Letterman. Why is it escaping my head? Oh, wait, I remember this. Crispin Glover. Oh,

Crispin Glover. He was like banned after that, right? Right, right. And he, and Letterman famously had a thing with Oprah. For years. Oprah's thing is famous.

And then the Cher thing, too. Oh, Cher. Oh, yeah. He had to make, he basically would like, which I love about Letterman because he can like admit to fault. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which I think is very important for any human to be like, oh, yeah, I was abrasive. I admit.

And then it's like, and then him and Oprah now can like do interviews together yeah and it was like yeah and share share share called him an asshole to his face oh like on yeah on on on air which makes you like both of them yeah who has done that to jimmy fallon no one no who's you know so it's like which is fine that's like that tone but like i it's like yeah letterman is like, what is wrong with you? Like, I will call it out. Yeah. I mean, it's it's it's very like eye roll to say, but like I kind of you miss that. And you don't because you don't see people taking risks anymore. Like, honestly, nowadays, I feel like celebrities, if there's going to be anything questionable going on during an interview, they just don't go.

You know what I mean? Or because I think now with social media and it being able to like be on the internet the next day and you can watch and watch and watch you can control your own narrative all the time yeah like i don't think trump will ever do another interview like we want him not not right but like there would be a time there would be a point in time where we would demand that whereas like just to hear answers or whatever but now it's just like, because any celebrity, you see it with Kanye West. You know what I mean?

He tries, he's out there controlling his own narrative or attempting to all the time. So they don't feel the need to like need these shows anymore. So you don't see those kinds of iconic interactions. The only way you get it is like Eric Andre, where he like, just like, you know,

has to like punk them a little bit to like put, make them uncomfortable. But it's really not about them. It's about like having rats pop out. Yeah. So you're seeing them actually react to something that's not. Right. You know, they're, yeah.

Right. It's like not in their control. Totally. Which is like, yeah, we totally, it's so missing. But now it's just like, okay, well, like the way that there's like segment producers for each interview that like, are like, do you have a funny story to tell? Oh, we'll tell that. Oh, that, that's, that's perfect.

That'll go great. So Seth will lead you you with I'm not saying this is an example but it's like Seth will just ask you this and then that'll be your cue to go into this it's like it feels choreographed in a way that like could be loosened a little bit yeah we need to loosen it up yeah yeah who's the best now

that's that's hard to say they're also different. I do love Colbert. I mean, I think Seth Meyers does do a good interview. I love Seth. He's really great at interviewing people. Yeah. And I think pulling fun stuff out of them.

But I also don't watch enough to have an opinion. Yeah. I mean, Seth, the last thing I can remember is Kellyanne being on Seth. Conway? Conway. And that was great. But then the last person who like truly like would like have no problem embarrassing their guest if they deserved it was like Jon Stewart. And even that is like,

I don't know. That's also like not, not on the same level as Letterman where it was like, I can get, I don't get it the way you want it, but like I can, you can still get a little bit if you watch Thursday night basketball on like Barkley and Shaq because they are, they bust each other all the time.

Yeah. So you can get that thing of like, oh, they're all being vulnerable and allowing each other to like shit on each other and bust each other's balls, which is like, you just want that. But you have to get people that are okay with that. Okay. Yeah. I know. So it's like podcast now. Like you get it it like you two bust each other's balls and it's fun and you're vulnerable and that's what's fun but like to have always have guests be able to do that

it's tough it's not the ones that you want to yeah you know you know it's really it's you know my dad pointed out like this was like two years ago i was at home and i was watching rupaul's drag race and he was like watching it and i was at home and i was watching rupaul's drag race and he was like watching it and i was like oh god what is he gonna say about this and he it went to a commercial and he was like they're so honest with each other and i was like that's such an interesting pull it's an interesting to take from it like he didn't have anything to say about like how they were acting or like or like you know what they were wearing anything he was like i'm impressed by how direct they are with each other.

And it is that thing of like, you know, like with drag, obviously it's just like, they say whatever the fuck they want, but true honesty now is sort of, and true dialogue and forcing each other to be honest. I think it's why people are obsessed with all these like,

um, reality shows is because like, you don't actually see real dialogue on, especially on news programs. Like, you know what I mean? I try to watch a lot of them now and it's like, if they're not screaming at each other,

it's a bunch of people that think the same thing. And so, or it's something that would never make it to like the next day's like right clip on Twitter where everyone sees it. And everyone's like, Oh, there's let's form an opinion around them and you get those tiny moments and those moments do go viral

like when lauren duca threw it back at tucker carlson yeah yeah i mean that was like so fierce yeah but i think what it stuck out because we're like that's not like that's not late night that's not like right now it's not late night yeah anyway and that just puts people they're like oh now oh it's like oh now that lauren duca did that's going to be like, we have to change how we have, you know, book our guests. Yeah. Then they're just afraid of it happening again. Yeah. Because the worst thing you can do is look stupid. That sucks. That sucks. That sucks.

It sucks. Um, I do just want to say the Paris interview, the Paris interview with Letterman. That was genius. Genius. Just like by the, like by like the middle, she like loses her patience. She's like like I don't want to talk about this yeah being in prison anymore and he goes okay okay and then um

someone screams from the audience I love you Paris and then she goes love you too and then Letterman goes oh someone you met in prison and the entire audience explodes like like so he's so good so funny you have to be so like because even in like whenever

we interview someone that's like that makes us a little nervous like you really do have to be so good at what you do to stay the course and something like that especially with something like parasol and at the time was huge so like it anyone else i feel like would have just backed off or been like i can't ask her that it's embarrassing yeah but he was not ever in a position where he like I don't want to say cared enough but it was just like he is the king of late night

it's like if she never wants to come back it's okay and it's like what do you want you know we'll have many other guests and it's like that's where like Leno took over control when he got Hugh Grant after his infamous blowjob. Yes. Oh.

So like he booked Hugh Grant and that was like he had to ask that question. Yeah. So Jay Leno like has Hugh Grant after he got caught getting a BJ and then was like asking him it. It's like that's where like there was like this kind of like honesty and like really asking guests the right thing is like what was making people the king of late night. I think that probably still applies though. If someone were

to just do that and break the seal on that There's too much though. There's too much TV for I mean I don't really even know who's running in the ratings. I believe that Colbert is still ahead. I mean. Yeah but I can't really even know who's running in the ratings yeah yeah yeah I believe that Colbert is still a little bit is still ahead I mean yeah I can't imagine there have been was tougher Fallon oh yeah

yeah oh I've read oh we've read the trades honey we get the trades honestly you know who's like I always we talk about this all the time and we've been talking about this since the beginning of this podcast but Ellen I mean like I can't with Ellen like you can't watch

I can't with Ellen because I there's been too many times where it's just been like no this guy's just a douchebag and that might just be it and I think she sometimes feels bad for people that are as famous as her yeah and I think she's genuinely went

through one of the hardest things that a celebrity has gone through over the past 30 years and i do respect and admire her strength through that but i don't necessarily think all the same rules applies to the people that she gives apology platforms no they've have they earned that platform no and the thing is like with kevin hart he did come out out this is actually like breaking news as of like today or yesterday but he did come out with the like quote-unquote heartfelt apology a real apology to the lgbt community this is post ellen interview post ellen interview which was not an apology it was just him saying he had when he really had never really extended a real

didn't address how he just gaslit the timeline right everyone yeah and so it's just like i don't know like i think like with her she's like a whole other thing because it's like it pretends to be this fun fun fun fun fun fun fun show like and ellen i think is at her best when she's just leading with the goofiness and dancing around and like being ellen positive ellen and then there's these moments where it's like no actually you can't just erase the fact the way that people feel about this thing yeah you know like yeah or just speak on other people's behalf do you

ever think about yourselves of should you get to that level like worry about the disconnect of like because you watch like I watch like you know like comedians in cars yeah and i'm just like oh seinfeld is disconnected from a rich man society yeah he's disconnected yeah he doesn't there's no worries like i mean he probably has worries i can't say that there's probably

shit going on in his life that we don't know about but there is this disconnect and it's like ellen has this disconnect right and i mean i grew up watching her show loving it loving it loving it and it's like oh yeah like did you watch her new special didn't watch her new special but i haven't seen it i heard it's amazing it's great it's almost for being like admitting to exactly she has like disconnect that she has yes there is like this self-awareness which is like oh this is really funny and good i thought you were gonna say do you ever think about like if you ever get on ellen and she's like so you talk shit about me on your podcast. And I was like, I think about that a lot. We're never allowed.

We will never go on. I'll never be booked on Ellen. It's fine. I think you can just admit it, though. Yeah. I'll be like, honestly. It's like a friendship thing. If like a friend's mad at you and you're just like, hey. And it's like, yeah, this is how I was feeling.

Because like I was here. You're here. So like. Yeah. Yeah. OK. We just. We bring that approach.

We bring that emotional connection into Ellen, into the show. Yeah. We're like, let's just pretend we're friends and let's just be upfront with what we've said about you. I would think in my heart that I would have no problem telling her. Yeah.

I did think it was, if we were behind this, behind the stage and she would ever like, be like, you said this thing, or if anyone were to be like this, I feel like I would be able to say, I did think it was fucked up that you had a mask effects on after a woman accused him of punching her.

I did think it was a little fucked up. There you go. There you go. Yeah. And that's, you're allowed. And then, and then it's like, how do you respond to that? Yeah. Be like, well, fuck you.

Like, no, it is weird. Yeah. Maybe you get to hear her side of it. And then it's like, oh, yeah. Didn't know that. So glad I got famous famous so you could tell me hey it's bowen i just gotta say the only straight culture i like these days is teeth okay straight teeth are the only straight culture i want and look let's get something straight your teeth

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If you've been wanting to talk to someone, get started today and go to betterhelp.com forward slash DINGDONG and simply fill out the questionnaire to help them assess your needs and get matched with a counselor you'll love and one that you can always change if necessary so that's betterhelp.com forward slash ding dong with promo code ding dong for someone to say you're a gatekeeper right is them saying you're my only way in which is which is not true yeah there's no one way in everyone has has a different path. Everyone. Yeah. Which is, yeah, I had to probably say that a million different ways to a million different

people. I mean, no one's ever told me. I mean, I know that people think that as when I was artistic director at UCB that I was like this, you know, preventing people from their dreams or stopping their dreams or create. But it's like anyone that succeeded was because of their talent and anyone that like didn't, you know, come through just like, well, just wasn't like the right time or it's like anyone that succeeded was because of their talent and anyone that like didn't you know come through just like well just wasn't like the right time or it's like or you're not good at herald who fucking cares like that was always a thing that's like this finite thing it's like it it's like you're but you can still take what you've learned and use

it somewhere else there's so many places that are like, and it's, I love seeing that people are making shit in other, at other places. Like, cause now, you know, like stop putting this pressure

that like this space, UCB is the only place or this space, the Magnuson space or this is the only space. It's like, there's like so many different ways to get your,

get your success on and to put, and to blame anyone but yourself is I think toxic for your creativity get your success on and to put and to blame anyone but yourself yeah is i think toxic for your creativity and your growth and shows that you're just like not ready to be honest about like where you're at well yeah and but to be honest i think matt and i experienced different similar versions of that thing where it's like i would walk into lloyd auditions and be terrified out of my mind. Never been more nervous for an audition.

And I was like, I'm going to be just, I'm going to, I have to like prove my competence to these people who I respect. But then it was like this thing where it was like, Oh, maybe I'm just not good at that. And that's fine.

But then I've, I've still taken something valuable from this, from what this place has offered me that I am lucky enough to like, I was lucky enough to have like met halfway and interfaced in whatever way I did. And then to like, I feel like I, I feel like you,

you just like go sort of forge your own path, even if it means not necessarily being in that system and like, yeah, and that's okay. And that's okay. And that's fine. It could be better. I think people are often better off. I see people just

get stuck. Being like, oh, I got this. I'm on this team. It's like, but what else are you doing? What else is happening? You got to do other stuff. This is a great place for you to keep the rust off the gears and keep in tune and you're practicing every week. I mean, I get i i get to do stepfathers every friday and ask him it's like but what else i got to do other stuff i can't just be like i did it it's like no that's like a that's me going to the gym for my for my comedic right that's what those are for me and i'm so

blessed i get to do it and and love everyone i get to do it with but like if i don't that's i can't just do that no that is and i see people probably think like you did it that's so awesome i want to be there but it's like yeah i'm so happy to be here but i you know i need to do other shit it's like any creative goal it's like anything anything you said it's like you get that thing and then you realize i want more yeah or like this will is it can't be enough like i remember want more but not but don't expect someone else to give it to you exactly yeah it's and that's it's want. It's want more, not give me more. My give me more is very toxic for the brain, and it's tough to battle. Because I also understand it, because I think depending on where you are in your life and your maturity of what you've experienced can affect how you go through.

Because I was 24 when I started um and i was pretty immature and i made some really stupid mistakes on teams where i was like i think i was very lucky that i was able to make those mistakes at that time yeah because if that was me now i'd been like yeah get me out of here get me out of here yeah uh but i was i was given that you know that chance to to make mistakes uh and and grow but yeah but also like oh so i have to like as ad also be like all right this person is only this age not that i attach age to it or totally totally um so like hopefully they will learn something from like yeah not getting what they want or struggling with something and know that it like it can take a while like don't compare yourself to to zach woods or yeah or aubrey plaza right well the best thing

that's the best thing you can get out of rejection is just to strip away your sense of entitlement that's it like that's that's probably the lesson that i took away from lloyd auditions every year that i would do them i would be like oh i don't I don't deserve like well I like it's it's not owed to me yeah or yeah yeah it just wasn't right it wasn't right at that time right I actually had it and it's not a perfect system yeah no right and it never can is and it never can never can be but then also like you go to you go to like weekend shows and you go to ask how it's like the best improvisers in the world i feel it's a cool factor thing that this is why i always felt like i i was always so upset when i wasn't um doing well in improv classes that i never ever got out of my head in improv classes um and it was entirely my fault because i think i started too young i started 19 which is

like i think just so young you don't like you're not able to be yourself in your own life how you're gonna go out there and like be a canvas on stage and wait for that response to lead to something i felt like it was such like a important thing to be good at improv and be good at the herald because that was like what the coolest people were doing and i always felt like like oh man i'll never like at nyu i was on the sketch group and you were on the improv group and i was like but i'm not i'm not with the cool guys who do improv like it was entirely in my own head and it was fully reversed on on our end where it was like well we're not doing sketch so what do we have to show for ourselves exactly yeah i mean you always want what you don't it's like anything grass is always greater but i remember i had a totally opposite experience from you for the

majority of my 20s because i didn't face a lot of rejection like i felt like we really worked hard at doing our own thing like we had our sketch group pop roulette i had worked hard in college so when i auditioned for mod i got on the team like um whenever i auditioned for characters welcome i always got on like and then when jfl happened i got on and team like um whenever i auditioned for characters welcome i always got on like and then when jfl happened i got on and you like worked towards those things and then there's those things that you get and then you do feel like well i'm a person who just this works for me i get stuff and then you get into the real industry and that's when you start facing rejection and you're like oh wow i was just very lucky for a long time yeah you know what i mean like because because being told no is a thing and i do think like that is it's like you're scared at

those improv auditions because you're scared to be told no and you're scared to be quote unquote bad yeah but there's so much good in being told no and like being told like it's not time yeah you know like because it's not yeah and you come back and be good you've just like trained to learn something yeah you can you know you can use in many aspects of of your life hopefully if you're if you're viewing it that way yeah um i looked at it like so yeah i mean you't. It's also like a hard thing as ADOs. You can't tell people how to feel. And I want people to feel what they feel. Yeah.

But there is. I just think about it of like. People are putting so much pressure on themselves for this like one day. And it's not. It's not. It's not like this thing that like you get on a team and then suddenly all these riches come to you yeah you get like there's auditions that yeah no you don't get like there but there's like these it's just this thing of like oh it's like you just got into like this continued ed program yeah where you just get to like but you can also put your own teams

together right and do the same thing elsewhere but it's like this is just a system that's going to like help you and do it for you and give you a show. If you think about like those auditions that we go on where it's like, Oh, I'm auditioning for a recurring role. Like this could change my life. Right. Exactly. But I don't put that much pressure on it where it's like,

I memorize, I get my sides down. I go in, I do my best. And then, but I'm now at a place where I can just like, forget about it. Right.

I mean, I remember like the first few auditions I went on, I'd be like, Oh my God, I get it. Oh my God, am I in it? It's like, now it's like, Nope, out, forget about it. I mean, I remember like the first few auditions I went on, I'd be like, oh my God, I get it. Oh my God, am I in it? But it's like now it's like, nope, out, forget. And I think that's, but I think that's hard

for that, the system at UCB, because you have spent a lot of time and money that for some people it is for that specific day. Some people it's not, but I think so much people just be like, I've spent two years for this moment. It's like, be like I've spent two years for this moment it's like no you've spent two years for this knowledge and training you have

and these new skills that hopefully you've built that you can use but you can't tell people I can't tell people how I feel and I also get that there's so many emotions my biggest lesson as AD was like I'm not responsible it was actually BSJ. Oh, yeah.

I was Brandon Scott Jones. I was really upset about something. I had just worked really hard on something. And then and I just like, yeah, I did it. And then someone came up to me and said something that kind of like crushed everything I just did. And I was like crying backstage at the Chelsea Theater. And BSJ was like, what's wrong? And I just did. And I was like crying backstage at the Chelsea Theater and B.S.J. was like, what's wrong? And I said it and he's like,

Shannon, you are not responsible for their ego. And I was like, you're right. That's their ego. Like I, that was not my fault. So it's like, that's like, I'm not responsible for your ego is like something I had to like, I like would check when like someone would be up you know

like a performer right to be like upset i'd be like okay let me analyze this no i think this is this is their ego yeah and i can help you only so much yeah because there's 300 more of you yeah it's well someone inserting themselves into like the fact that that person so a person came up to you and said something uh yeah i like got an email that was just like i love that that person so a person came up to you and said something yeah I like got an email that was just like love that it's just like why not me kind of like that thing so it's someone like

it's fully someone injecting their ego lol into your into your experience which is just like the mic doing my best come on it's just so hard it's the mic pizzies it's the mic izzy's of the world who are like making you faint

and then somehow you get in trouble for it it's like hey we yeah yeah yeah that's not a fully clean analogy but the fact of the matter is like everyone wants it so bad because when it's when I feel like those weekend like shows that I went to i'll just

never forget because it looked truly like magical it's like i'll just never forget scenes that i seen that i saw middle ditch and uh fran do as like the sun and the moon i was like this is crazy when i'm watching it's art like i was and i remember um like just like being so swept away by it and it's just like that's what i think everyone wants is just that moment up there of like community and speaking a language with someone that like it seems like only you know do you have people that you that are your favorite people that you've performed with uh i mean i am so blessed to have alex dixon and conor ratliff as stepfathers. Geniuses.

We really, I mean, I've really lucked out with my, with like improv teams I've been on. Yeah. And I know that. And I know just like that feeling of like what, a team that succeeds is one that cares for each other. And my first team, like we were just like all assholes. All assholes to each other.

And now it's just like, oh yeah, that's why that team didn't work. And my second team was like, okay, and fun. But then kind of was also like this thing of like just too much like not really caring for each other. And then I finally found like when I had Mailer Demon, which turned into Fwand. It was like, oh, we're all on the same page. We all really want to work for this one thing. And if one of us was like, oh, no one ever was just like, I don really want to work for this one thing yeah and uh if one of us was like oh like no one ever was just like i don't i can't i don't want to do that was like they would be

like and i was like you know what this isn't i don't feel strong about this but i will try it yeah like i will give a hundred percent and we'll try it and let me you know but i want just like we were all honest with each other and it was like in a good way and it was like and it was like great and then i got on uh uh stepfathers which was like a scary thing because i was like deciding to leave this team that i was just like really loved and we were doing it was really challenging me and making me a better improviser yeah and we're just like doing really cool shit and i was like okay i'm it was a very hard it was like a really hard decision uh i had the hardest time telling the team. Yeah. It was just like, oh, this like, this wasn't like, see ya.

This was like, oh, fuck. Yeah. I'm stepping away and like taking a chance. Yeah. And then Stepfathers turned out, turned out great. And now it's like, it's been, now it's just like, it's me and Alex and Connor. And it's for the most part. And it's like, we just, I it's like we just i have just like

genuine love for both of them yeah yeah where we are just like on stage taking care of each other having fun we just know each other so well that it's like oh we can step out and just like just just yeah just trust each other yeah and i know and i know know that's why we are so good. Yeah. Because we share with each other. Yeah. Or if we don't, we're just like, I know something. Tell me.

We don't. There's no. Yeah. We're really good about that. So it's like that is. Yeah. Did you see Connor on Marvelous Mrs. Maisel? I watched.

I went to his episode and was watching Chester. He plays Chester. He basically plays like Alex Porstein is in the show. She's pretending to be the sanitation worker at the Catskills so that she can keep an eye on Rachel Brosnahan. She's just walking around with a plunger just to make sure everyone thinks she works there and Connor plays a guy who's also

doing that so he's just like also a creep that's great very good it's like very Connor Ratliff oh my god Alex Dixon too she's so good and great energy if you're out there listening showbiz get on the Alex Dixon

train you are sleeping on her she can do anything she's such an amazing If you're out there listening, showbiz, get on the Alex Dixon train. Right? Come on. Oh, come on. You are sleeping on her. She can do anything. She's such an amazing actress. So good. Makes me a better improviser. With her and Connor. She does.

She acts. She acts. Her and Connor both are just reactors, and I'm just an insane monster. And they've both made me a better actor. Yes. Really, there's a big actor. Yes. It really, there's a big difference. You know,

when you're dead on with that, Alex Dixon, she acts her scenes. Yeah. I'm trying to think who else does that. Yeah. She's yeah. They're like honest,

real reactions. Yes. That lead to humor. Yeah. Those honest, like that's 100% it. Yeah. She,

Glenn, Glenn, Glenn Buzan and I did this weird web series where i forgot what she wrote it but like we were both these two like branding consultants and then alex dixon comes in and plays um her her and karen hammerberg were like these two like female ceos of this company i already love it and like and like glenn and i were like just being incompetent for whatever reason then we were just improvising the whole thing and then and then the funniest moment was alex just going you're you're terrible people like you're you're bad at your jobs it was just the but it was acting it was like yeah fully in full realism like you also just said the name

glenn buzan and my heart exploded i Oh, yeah. I love her so much. The best, the best, the best. But yeah, Alex, phenomenal. UCB has truly like, that was really like so formative. Because it really exposed us to the best people. I think UCB like sets the tone for a lot of the stuff, for everything. I mean, that's true. But in terms of like the talent it generates, yes like that has always been there but in terms of how it ripples out into

other people's work like it is informed by whether people are like um just like going upstream from it in a fun way where it's like altered it's like crazy it's like you know fucking conor o'malley will do something nuts where you know it's he's in it but he's also like yeah right totally fucking shit up or it's someone who like I feel like we like also like I'll say that we like are very influenced by the sensibility that like we like

picked up from meeting people there and our instructors like that's true I'm also glad that there's people that have not come through that found other ways you know like you know like I don't think I don't think Patty Harrison needs to take an improv class.

No, no, no. And if like, she took classes. I didn't know this, but she was like an improviser in college. Oh, yeah. I always just thought of her as like someone that came from like standup or whatever. But then I realized like she was like an improviser. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. She has. But it's like, yeah, there's like certain was like, no, you don't need to. You don't need to come through this. I also think it would squash some people. Yeah. Sure. She has, but it's like, yeah, there's like certain was like, no, you don't need to, you don't need to come through this. I also, I think it would squash some people, you know, if you just can know like,

what is your, or if you're going through it and you're like, Oh, you know what? This isn't for me. And that's okay. Yeah. Or it's like, Oh,

I got some training. That's okay. I'm going to, you know, I want to go do a show somewhere else. And like, yeah, it takes a tremendous amount of self-awareness,

but I think it's, it's, it's in everybody to be like, there is a mechanism in every person to be like, oh, this isn't for me. Yeah, I mean. If that's the case. Like at the end of my little,

at the end of my road there, I wasn't on a Herald team and I was never going to be because I wasn't good at the Herald. Like it's just not the way my brain works. But taking improv classes at UCB not only made me a better performer, made me a performer.

I didn't realize I could even stand up in front of people and speak like that until I took my one-on-one at UCB. So it's like, there's so many other, and it also makes people better communicators. Hello. Hopefully. Right.

Yeah. Are you, is there some sense of relief relief now that you're just on like the performer side fully like full yeah i would imagine i mean of course yeah okay you did it for what now four or five years i did for four years yeah yeah biggest thing biggest like biggest release of tension what was like the biggest tension for you would you say it's just my time yeah it was it was just a a job that took my life yeah and i'm not a person that like if i have a job i i do it like i don't have that i can't half-ass anything

yeah so i just kind of like all the way i just was like submerging myself all the way and it's like because you know i can't not um because it affects so many people who i know are like working hard and stuff so that was like it was just such a a time a time suck where i you know i made a plan i made an exit plan to be like okay this is when i gotta be out but then i pushed that um a little bit because of uh the move from chelsea to hell's kitchen right right i was like okay i can't leave yet because my thing of being like, I can't abandon this. No,

totally. I gotta like take this through a little bit. Um, and then, and then, uh, and then I finally was just like, uh,

I gotta, I gotta, I gotta, but I gave five months notice. Well, it seems like the onboarding, I wasn't being a monster about it. I was like,

I just, I'm going to give five months notice. Cause then I've said it, it's happening. I can see DCM through, I'm going to give five months notice because then I've said it. It's happening. I can see DCM through and just like let the next person start at like a chill time. Yeah. Because like to just like start at a not chill time would be like insane. And there are so few and far between pockets of chill time.

No, it's like July, August is like the only chill time. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Or like holidays, but i wasn't gonna like train someone over the holidays right totally i remember hearing that you were stepping down and i was like who could do it i remember you just became so synonymous with me with for me with running that theater so well and i was just like there's a scary thing too me stepping down because it wasn't

like who will do i was like who wants to do yeah that's another thing too and i think people getting 2 a.m 3 a a.m. emails from me for like four years. Like, what is this life? Hardney asked me, he's like, I'm thinking about applying for it.

I was like, and I literally said to him, I was like, do you want that job? And I was like, I think I do. And I was like, okay,

bitch, I think you'd be perfect for it. And when I knew that DCM was probably not going to be part of the thing too, but like, I couldn't like announce that. But I was like,

maybe once we announce that DCM won't be in, you know, New York, that maybe more people will apply. But it was so late that we announced that, but cause that, that truly also, um, killed me. Um, but yeah, my time was like the, it was like a huge, it was like a huge thing of like, I didn't really have like a life. Um, and then, uh, also uh also you know you hit a point of upsetting people unintentionally like there's only like a limit that you can hit it's impossible yeah yeah yeah we're just like oh my job is making people upset and someone said to me uh shortly before i had already given my notice to the ucb4 and alex sitis um but then someone had said to me before i announced it to everyone,

they're like, Shannon, you know that your job, like you never, you're never right. And I was like, what? And they're like, no, like you're never right because like you could put someone on a team

and then someone else is like, why are they on a team? So it's like anything I do is like never going to completely please everybody. And I was like, oh yeah, no, I'm aware of that. I'm made aware of that frequently. I got off Facebook too late. But when I did go off Facebook what a blessing so wasn't that a relief to get

off of it oh yeah because it's like oh I don't have to see it was yeah it's are you off I'm off are you off are you off I'm off I'm about to do the thing where I just download all my photos and then I just fully shut it down yeah I have a dummy account great that I just use for like my CrossFit and my basketball team great the election than that like it's friendless like people like i'm not your friend i'm like yeah it's a friendless account so i'm not looking at it right great the election ruined it for me but it was kind of just more like not even just that it was just the seeing people change once i started to make estimations and like calls about people who are my friends in

real life based on their online persona that was like truly just words on a screen i was like i can't do this anymore like i know i have a little more love in my heart than what i feel every time i log on to this website it just turns you into a monster which is why i think like i think young people are very perceptive and i think that like, so young people are not on Facebook. They're not on Facebook. Like at what age are we talking this as young? Like they look at it like, but who is young?

Like what ages? High school kids are not on it right now. And I don't think a lot of college kids are on it. Interesting. Um, and do you truly, what do they use? I think they go on Instagram and they do Snapchat,

but you're saying that we're about, we're like weaning. They're going to wean off Instagram. So no, it's Snapchat is a fucking ghost town, right? Well, they do snapchat but you're saying that we're about we're like weaning they're gonna wean off instagram so no snapchat is a fucking ghost town right well they do something and i don't know exactly what that is that's how i know like oh that really i'm really not in touch with what the kids are doing because i really i don't even know what they're on now but i know they're not on facebook right and i also know that like a lot of us are not on Facebook anymore. A lot of people are not on Facebook. And Facebook feels like a ghost town too. But you're saying...

Actually, no, because it's criminal. But is your theory that they're going to hit a wall with Instagram too? That there's no... The bubble for them is about to burst where it's like, well, I don't want any sort of online exposure. I think that the conversation around these things are becoming so negative because it makes us feel bad.

Yeah. And I think that we only are going to take that for so long. You know what I mean? And you think about these things, it's like anything else

that consumes the time of the populace. People move on to other interests. You know what I mean? There are times when people don't go to... There was a time when there was no blockbuster movies. You know what I mean? There are times when people don't go to, there was a time when there was no blockbuster movies,

you know what I mean? Like, and then there was a time, like, I just think different things take hold and we will find like what the next Facebook is that will bring everyone's attention over there. Sure. Sure.

I mean, movies used to be in the theaters for six months. Right. And now like what six weeks two months yeah oh my god yeah i worked at a movie theater and it was like we had jurassic park for six months yeah we had liar liar for six months and there was like in terms of we had home alone for six months wow hit movies that were i remember you can look at the the list like of all the most highest grossing movies every year. And it's so crazy the way it's changed from the year 1990 to 2018 now. It's like you used to have like three or four movies that made over $100 million. Now it's like the top 30 movies all make over $100 million.

And like the way like the kinds of films that are made now it's just movies really depress me because it's all sequels but like these things change you know like yeah and my only thing is like i feel that if you really look at it we are getting dumber because i think if you were to take movies and the box office totals and you really to look at it the lack of imagination in storytelling and just the fact that we're getting regurgitated the same idea again and again and again and these movies are all the same and that that is making such an exorbitant amount of money and we're willing to keep going back and going back and going back that is like because we're not using our brains why so you're yeah you're saying a star is born is bad I'm saying a star is born

is an example no I think a star is born actually counts as like an original thought to be honest fine okay because that's like a it's mythic that's a different one okay what I'm saying is like when we get fucking you know Fast and and the furious fast and the furious 10 right because that's like we're banking on it's just yeah but it's like the same thing yeah yeah yeah same story different cars right exactly we're just we're just feeling dumber like and it's just like a lot of it is it's it's just shiny objects right i mean i catch myself on instagram just watching people ice cakes right you know too much i'm like wow how do they make this unicorn damn it and i see it and i'm like what and i will just watch it because it's like my oh i guess it's like my version of

asmr or just is that what it would be i don't know what it's like a thing of like oh i can just like shut down shut down and watch this but it's like it's not helping me no i don't because i'm not learning anything from it and i get mad at myself and we're addicted to it but the young kids aren't and so they're gonna be able to see it and be like that's bad and they're just gonna do something else well you saying that at the beginning was reminding me of like when i was a kid yeah and what i like to do and maybe it was like my own version of like i love just shooting free throws in my yard, in my driveway.

I could do that. I could take my boom box out, listen to the NBA draft and just like shoot for the night. I would do like, you ever do those? I don't know if you guys had it. Cause you're our age difference. But it was like a,

it was a pogo ball and it was like a round rubber ball. Yeah. With like a saucer. Like, you know, like you're, you're, and you just jump and jump and jump. And oh that was my swiping that was my swiping

because i would i went to a after a summer camp um at uh and i could if i if you held the record you got like a free like mcdonald's hamburger yeah I'd be like, I just did this for a thousand jumps. And I would, and I would have blisters on the inside of my, of like my feet. Cause it was just like, I had to like, that's like what my swiping was, but it was like physical activity. It was physical activity. It was productive. It disciplined you.

I could read more books when I was a kid. Yeah. Now it's just like, I'm trying to get back into reading and I'm doing better, but I'm just like, even like, um, like the way here i was like oh i have a subway ride i'm gonna i'm gonna read the book but then i got um just just like a little bit sidetracked um by my i don't think so honey uh wow honestly where i was like oh okay okay now i know it still was like it's still mental stimulus still using my brain it isn't but isn't that the scary thing where it's like i have to remind myself that to feel good about the fact that i did use my brain you know what i mean like but i remember i'm also at my best yeah when i as a performer when i when my brain feels stronger and like i'm

like taking care of myself like physically and my brain i'm working out and i'm reading yeah we're doing something that feels like it's like a task. Like I just got a switch. Thank you. And I feel, I'm just doing Mario Odyssey right now. And I feel great about that. Like I don't do it a lot. I just do it for like a half hour, but it's like, it's problem solving. It's puzzles. It's puzzles. It's problem solving. So it's like, that's not me just watching, you know, different three tier cakes being decorated in different ways. Like I'm just like, Oh yes. Oh. tier cakes being decorated in different ways. You're so right. Yeah. Like,

I'm just like, oh, yes. Oh, and it's like coordination and all that stuff. So it's like, okay, I'm not doing it

for hours and hours, but there is like, I don't feel bad about that because it is like a puzzle that, yeah, I like to solve. because the game is designed

for sort of these little pick up and play moments. Yes. And I feel like, are you a Zelda person? I feel like you would like Zelda. I hear, I didn't like old school Zelda.

Right. Old school Zelda. Right. Old school Zelda is hard and esoteric. Of like, you know, Nintendo Day. But I hear that the Zelda is awesome. It is exactly what you're looking for in terms of these little shrines, these little micro puzzles that are all about spatial reasoning and all about like coordination. It's perfect. Which I really enjoy.

And I'm not like... And it might be your gateway into other Zelda games because if you go... If you start with this most recent one go backwards you just realize oh like i only recently got into zelda like i played ocarina when i was a kid but then like fell off but then in the lead up to this new zelda game played all the old ones and i was like oh this is a genius series like it's all just puzzles yeah all just these elaborate love video games but i did i just like didn't have the time after i became ad but like now i wish i had into it yeah but like the switch was like oh this

is like a an easy yeah an easy uh new gateway yeah so uh but i'm very yeah but it is like i hope kids are getting away from i think it's good we're gonna look back at this time and we're gonna realize like we were obsessed with social media it's a we're gonna look back at this time and we're gonna realize like we were obsessed with social media it's a drug we didn't realize we've been doing cocaine this entire time you know what it really is we didn't know like there was no warning on the cigarette pack when we started smoking twitter was originally you telling your friends where you were yeah right yeah or just what you were eating what you're doing and now it's just hey going to the movies and now it's yeah it's it's some of

that like i love the jokes yeah but when it is when you look up stuff and it's just like oh this is a terrible rumor yeah and now people are gonna believe it and it's like you can't bat you cannot battle like uh uh a brush fire no it's literally it's a forest fire it's gonna it's gonna burn and people are just gonna remember the burn yes and not that like what started it was like this like stupid match that was lit inappropriately. Right. Should never have lit. That match should have never been lit.

It was falsely lit. We didn't need to light it. We did not need to light it. No. Because before you lit it, you should have asked someone, should I light this? No. And here's why you shouldn't light it. Because your reasoning for lighting it is actually incorrect.

But now you're lighting it and throwing it and being like, oh, and the consequences just like you can't control it. have hope i have hope because i just think like like i think the fact of the matter is our gender are like generations might be kind of lost to it because we're already obsessed we're already addicted we have this addiction in our lives but i know that the younger generation like they have to be able to look at this and call out that unusual thing which is the obsession with and indulgence in constant falsity like you know what i mean dopamine flood in in your bloodstream like it's wild yeah it is a drug it's a bad drug yeah should we move on move on we're gonna move on to i don't

think so okay and obviously our guest has been a stewing on on hers matt you go i'll go okay this is matt rogers's i don't think so honey his time starts now i don't fucking think so honey the earbuds that come with any iphone product oh what the fuck is going on when literally am i the only one who two months after i'm using it only one earbud works answer this question is this a thing like this is i swear to god and then you go to replace them and it's 30 you need to take care of them what do you mean i need to take care of them you're sitting on one of them too you're putting too much pressure i'm sorry well this is no that would i wouldn't have to be in a fucking 30 seconds thing i swear to god i feel like headphones should be like wi-fi and water everyone should just be able

to have them i need them and honestly it's like i get that iphones they have this whole thing where it's like you know you better update at a certain time or the phone's basically gonna melt in your hands but i just feel so upset i don't even own headphones right now because i know i'm gonna go out and buy them for $30, which is too much money. And then they're going to like not be usable in two seconds. And also they're small.

You can lose them. So I don't think so, honey. Headphones, no. And that's one minute. Oh, that's good. I have, I just started. Am I wrong? No, I just started Bluetooth.

Headphones are culture. Headphones are culture. Headphones are culture. Culture number 16. Headphones are culture. Yes 16 headphones are culture yes and so this is my problem though it's like right now I don't even have any headphones and I'm like a psycho in the gym like who has nothing

like and I'm just like no that you can't do that yeah famously hasn't he thinks he's a big strong boy and just goes and just listens to nothing and I've been doing that I'm just literally like you can't buy myself in the gym and I want to be able to listen to podcasts and do my thing while I'm in the gym but I'm scared

to go out and buy them because they've proven unreliable every time. Because you're buying non-Apple ones you mean? I'll even go to the Apple store and buy Apple ones and then I'm shocked when the product is bad and I can't. Cord? Cord. I don't know. So I guess

things aren't made like they used to be they're not and i sound old but i have my grandmother's mixer hand mixer and it still works like a charm oh my god my mom my mom you have like there's a smell but it works i have a bowl that my mom always says patina yeah there's like a there's like a burning smell but it works i make pasta in this bowl that my mom gave me and every single time she she she doesn't even say that's my bowl i gave you she says my bowl from when i was single like she calls it her bowl from when she was single and i'm like this is so weird oh yeah associate it like when i was fucking who else ate out of that bowl all right who could have been the person that did not allow you to exist she went to junior

prom with this guy who his name is kevin mazer and he takes all the photos of beyonce when she does a concert i swear to god he's a huge celebrity photographer my mom dated him in high school and they went to junior prom he takes pictures for everything he takes pictures for every celebrity literally if you go on every- And at every award show he's at too. Every award show, every concert, he's like the photographer

to the stars. Kevin Mazur, that was my mom's boyfriend in high school. So talented. And she said, hey. They still talk.

Okay. They still talk. He was going to do my head shots a few years ago. Oh my God. And I was like, don't make him do that.

She's always like, well, I could talk to him if you ever want to do something. Like back when she thought that's how you get an agent. Like she was going to use her industry connects. That would have been very cool. But probably a weird move.

Probably weird. But apparently she still does. If people knew. If people like, yeah, I guess if people could tell like, oh, those are Mazer shots. Those are Mazers. Yeah. But I'm telling you, this guy is like huge. Well, yeah.

This is Bowen Yang's I don't think so honey and his time actually starts now I don't think so honey carbs oh I'm on whole 30 right now I don't miss you and I'm shocked at myself I remember I did a different diet the Tim Ferriss one back in college and on the second day I was

calling everyone toxic and disgusting and all I wanted was a pizza but somehow Whole30, I'm surprisingly sticking to it. That's not true. I cheated. Sooty told me you guys cheated. We cheated,

and then I cheated last night because I ate a really good pot pie. So you know what? I've fallen off the wagon already. 30 seconds in. But Whole30, everyone describes this thing when you're on Whole30

that you look at the things that you used to eat and you're disgusted by them. And I love that. And it's a fun feeling to be in control of what you put in your body. And I recommend this to you. You don't need to point to me. I've been doing it.

15 seconds. We've been putting garbage in our bodies, man. I know. And we have to hit the reset button. And that's what Whole30 is. I'm not being endorsed. I just think it gets a lot of flack. People shit on it a lot.

But I don't mind it. It's actually not a bad way to go. That was actually an I do think it's, it gets, it gets a lot of flack. People shit on it a lot, but I don't mind it. It's actually not a bad way to go. And that was actually an, I do think so honey whole 30. Yeah, my question was, you were not upset about anything. I don't think so honey carbs, but the fact of the matter is,

I don't think so honey carbs. I had pot pie last night and it was good and I'm okay with it, but like you should do this whole 30. This was a, that took so many turns. You're losing it.

I'm sorry. You're losing it guys i know we are i haven't been doing you hit a wall we hit a wall and that that happens i haven't been doing any specific dieting plan but i have been going to the gym every day and afterwards i eat like lean proteins and i do drink protein shakes and i will say this i've been eating so like well for for me over the past two weeks the other night at Dave's me Dave and Ariel like ate a bunch of like chips and salsa when we were watching the Globes the next day

stomachache I was like shitting blood it was horrible I was like my body was like get this bad food out of me chips and salsa and honestly like but my body was like my body was literally like we are rejecting

junk food now that's good, my body was literally like, we are rejecting junk food now. That's good though. Your body has become like self-blemic in a way. Self-blemic. So it's deciding to get rid of it. My body's deciding. It does. I think when you take care of yourself and then you have that bad stuff, I feel like

the bad stuff actually doesn't, it makes you feel bad. You know what? But like, it's like, that's you knowing that you've. I feel like the bad stuff actually doesn't, it makes you feel bad. You know what? But like, it's like, that's you knowing that you've worked to get rid of that. It's very that. And also, I don't know if this happens to you guys, but like,

I've recently been back in the gym, like I said, and like, I'll get through my second set of whatever I'm doing. And my body's like, we have to shit now. Oh yeah. Like my body will just be like,

we have to go shit right now. Yeah. And then I do. Are you not on a schedule? like a poop schedule well i'm a morning pooper i'm a morning pooper too yeah and i'm you know what's really bad and this is the one main thing i have to change going forward i'm a bad night eater oh yeah yeah you can't do it like like how many hours before bed are you eating like the hour the hour. The hour.

Yeah. That's. Because that's when I smoke. Oh, you smoke too. I smoke weed. Oh, weed. Okay. No.

I don't smoke cigarettes. What I do is like I wake up around, honestly, around like 10 because I'm usually doing shows at night. So I wake up a little late. I'm a freelancer. So that's when my day starts and I'm not hungry right away. I'll go to the gym, come back, eat after that. Then I'll end up eating like my lunch at like six and then dinner wants to happen at 10, 11 PM.

No, that's, you will wake up. You have to, you want to wake up hungry. Yeah. I'll just keep telling myself that. Just give yourself a, give yourself a cutoff time. Yep. Yep. Yep.

Yeah. I won't eat after like what? 830. What's good? When do you go to bed? At least bed at least three hours 30 at least three hours before bed all right so i won't eat if you go to bed at 12 30 stop eating by 9 30 yeah okay that's like the rule that i hear you could even cut it out a little bit earlier and remember like water is is gonna take away that hunger are they on your are they are they on your ass about diet stuff with a crossfit oh there's no like oh no no one's like on your ass about diet stuff with a crossfit oh there's no like oh no no one's like on your ass but it's um i was eating bad like the past two months uh

we'll admit had too many entomans donuts oh but they're so good so good it was like the holiday that i hate the holidays and they really stress me out so i just was um being bad but i'm on a little nice there's a challenge at my CrossFit. Great. So it's like, you decide, there's no pressure on like what to eat. It's just like, whatever, however you want to do it, you do it. So some people are doing paleo, some people are doing. Ah, paleo.

But I'm doing like clean eating. Clean eating. Great. That's it. I see. Some clean eating. So I allow myself like, the only cheese I allow myself is like goat cheese. Great.

And that's just like a little bit. Something unprocessed. And if I want it, yeah. It's just like a lot of unprocessed and it makes you feel so now i am waking up hungry because i'm going to bed hungry yeah last night i was really starving and i had like a swig of almond milk so i was like this isn't terrible no no no and maybe i think i had like an app like a little piece i baked some apples so i had like a I was like, okay, like it's me weaning myself. Cause I was also like getting,

like getting home late and just being like, oh, oh, I'm home. And this is like, this is my home. And I've just watched my dog. Cause I'm not like,

I haven't wired down yet. So it's like training your body. But if you cut out, then you'll be hungry in the morning. So you can like get a little something to get your, your metabolism going. The thing about me, my impulse control is not good in any aspect of my life so that's what i'm yeah and you'll sleep better yeah i know that's you're probably right

you have like crazy dreams i actually have insomnia i i and i think it probably has to do with that i'm actually learning a lot right now you're making your you're activating your body by eating you're right yeah but just have a little bit Yeah. But just have a little bit of water. I'll have a little bit of water and I'll just... Just jerk off and then fall asleep. Jerk off. Yeah.

It does help. It does. Oh my God. You gotta jerk off. You gotta. I do in the morning though. I do all the time. You gotta get a little scream.

I say, gotta get a little scream if you want to dream. Oh, guru. All right. This actually is... I never... That's the first time I've said that.

Gotta have a little scream if you want to dream. That's so good. What rule of culture is that? Rule of culture number 66. 66. You gotta get a little scream if you want to dream. And it's also title of app.

Scream to dream. And dream. Scream to dream. Scream. Scream to dream. The number two. I almost said the letter two. Get a picture of that.

Scream to dream. No spaces. Scream to dream. No spaces. No spaces. Great. Okay. This is Shannon O'Neill's I Don't Think So Honey. Okay.. Scream to dream. No spaces. Scream to dream. No spaces. No spaces. Great. Okay, this is Shannon O'Neill's I Don't Think So, Honey. Okay, and I want to apologize.

I did text twice with my dog, Walker. That's fine. In the past five minutes. That's fine. I don't need that apology because you're doing what you need to do. Yes. She was going to look for a coat for my dog. You're a mother in this world of a dog.

I'm not their mother. You're their friend. You're their owner. I keep them alive. Keep them alive. There you go. No, I'm their owner. I'm their alpha. Okay. There you go. All right, this is Shannon O'Neill's I Don't their mother. You're their friend. You're their owner. I keep them alive. Keep them alive. There you go. No, I'm their owner. I'm their alpha.

Okay. There you go. All right. This is Shannon O'Neill's I Don't Think So, Honey. I'm so nervous. And your time begins now. I don't think so, honey. Twitter news.

What is your algorithm and why is the woman found dead in a clothing donation box still showing up? I don't think so, honey. Why do you quickly flash into my brain that a little boy is missing and then switch it to how much Samuel L. Jackson is worth? No, honey. Figure your shit out. How does a woman that died at 114 years old just barely beat out a tree snail that died

at the age of 14? That is fucked, honey. Update the news as it comes in. 30 seconds. All right. I know about the huge fatberg. I've known about it for 24 hours. Get her out of my feed, honey. Update the news as it comes in. 30 seconds. All right, I know about the huge fatberg. I've known about it for 24 hours. Get her out of my feed, honey.

Trends for you? That shit ain't for me. Trending for me? Donald Trump Jr.? No, honey. He does not trend for me. Thursday thoughts? It's Wednesday, honey.

Trend me some blind animals climbing a fucking rock. Trend me a bunch of children dancing better than Bachelorette. Trend me how to make bacon a healthy meal twitter news i don't think so honey that's one minute that was very good because i don't think so honey twitter news so right the best i don't think so honey is should be things where you really don't think so honey you really don't think so honey twitter news my other yeah that was your other one that was a fun one because it was like the pressure to like write something which i need because i've been kind of lazy so i was like oh i'm gonna like i'm gonna jot down these things i don't like a little comedic piece the beats were pristine in that what was the other one

give us what the other thing was i don't think so honey wedding registries oh no have you done that has someone covered that no we've never had that we've never had wedding registries. Oh no. Have you done that? Has someone covered that? No we've never had that. We've never had wedding registries although that's another take down worthy topic. A lot of wedding traditions. I learned I don't like wedding registries because like you don't. I know you have cups and plates and bowls like you don't need it. It's an out of date tradition of like when you

didn't have a house and it's like you get married and you move into a house and you need help from the community but you don't need it. You know what I kind of like? Also if you have money. I know. If you're a wealthier person and you're getting married

and you have poor friends coming. Right. Matt Garing and Shana Taub did a cool thing which was when they got married for their, it was like a wedding registry, yes, but it was like

they were going on their honeymoon. It was a honey fund. It was a honey fund. And you paid for different things on their honeymoon so you don't like that no i loved it because i loved knowing that they were gonna i bought them like two rounds of drinks on the beach and i loved that i loved knowing that's what they were gonna only if it's like a and it's a wonderful life but if it's like i'm sending you on like an insane honeymoon yeah i don't know yeah that's like don't put that on me no i there's something

i just think the traditions have warped what you know it's like what a wedding was yes it's like it's not the same two people who were in love i learned the other day that you know what the wedding cake the wedding cake where it comes from no No. I'm going to mess it up. But during some time, pre-time. Pre-time. Pre-time. So pre-time. Pre-time. Pre-time, the bride, it was, there was this lore that she was like this magical thing

on her wedding day. Like she contained magic. So people would, guests would come up and try and grab parts of the bride and like take pieces of her wedding dress and take, you know, like basically grabbing and being aggressive to be like, you're magic. I have to touch you and take your stuff. So to stop that, the wedding cake is a wedding dress. It's this white tiered wedding dress. So now every time you're eating the wedding cake, it's you're eating the bride, you fucking monsters.

Oh my God. So next time you're at a wedding, be careful what piece you eat and think about what part of the bride that is. So it's like this kind of like- I never eat the cake. This very aggressive- I never eat the cake. Kind of thing of like grabbing at the bride.

I don't like that. I get the thing of like, oh, she's magic. But then it's also like putting too much on someone that is getting married. Like, they're magical because someone decided to marry you. Also, no, we're all magical without that.

We're all magical, okay. We're all magical. When someone's magical, your instinct shouldn't be to grab them. Give me. No, yeah, that's too much. Oh my God.

You should wait for them to come to you and give them a piece of you of themselves. Those are both... I don't like weddings anyway. I'm a... Yeah, I like a celebration, but I think it's like... Yes, like a party. I'm a, yeah, I like a celebration,

but I think it's like, like a party. I love a party. Love a party. Love a party. I think, and I, I think if I ever do find someone again,

I will potentially like, um, have a wedding because like, I would want to have the party, but, but then also like, I don't want to do the thing where I have to invite, where I have to invite people oh yeah my parents are sure as hell not coming to my gay wedding so i'm doing

it at city hall and then we're just gonna go to a bar afterwards love that bitch and it'll be it'll be like themed we'll close it down i'm giving such a speech it'll be a private event um and everyone can do what they want to do but make sure you're not feeling the pressure to do yeah there you go that's what I want. Like it should be. I love a wedding where it's like, Oh, this is really the couple.

Like you can, you can see their essence in it. A couple of my friends, like I, like I've been at their weddings and I'm like, did you want this? You know what I mean? Like sometimes like when the,

when the wedding is like super religious or when the wedding is like, when like there's a ton of people, they're doing things at the wedding at the service. Like, Oh, I've never seen before. I'm like, did like there's a ton of people there doing things at the wedding, at the service, like, Oh, I've never seen before. I'm like, did you want this?

Or did you, were you told you had to have that person? Or it's the parents that it's like, yeah. Or was it, it's what the parents wanted. I just want my wedding to be my wedding. If I ever have one,

I love a wedding and it's fine if you do this, but I love a wedding with no, no parties. No, no, no, no, sorry.

No, no wedding parties. No wedding parties. No bride, no groom party. Just the two of them. But it's fine if you have them. That's also such a thing of the pressure of, I've never, I was only a bridesmaid once and it was great

because my friend just told me go get a dress. Any dress you want think or it was like a style it's like a bohemian style so we all just had like these different that's cool or she just was like hey this is 20 it's at the kiosk at the mall i'm gonna get it for you i'm like great i'll give you 20 bucks yeah and you didn't have to wear something that like you didn't like no and it wasn't like this yeah and there was no bachelorette party or like that pressure because you just hear

like like i just hear people complaining about it nightmare especially with with bachelorette parties and then it's like you want to try and make it perfect for this person and it's not gonna be and then they come to your improv show and you're like i don't want to talk to you the show is not about you and your bachelorette party oh my god no i mean yeah that's i think i already know who will be in my my bridal party was that what i'm calling our grooms party grooms party but it's it's a mixture of men and women okay i love i will not be tied down by these all genders don't subscribe to the binary yes and i'll tell you a fun fact about me i was married before and i on purpose uh did not want to i tried planning it for five minutes and hated it and so we eloped yeah and i was married before and i on purpose uh did not want to i tried planning it for five

minutes and hated it and so we eloped yeah and i was like perfect yeah perfect we're eloping and then my ex-sister-in-law decided that she was gonna throw a surprise party for us. But she put it under the she under the guise that it was a surprise engagement party because she knew the only people that knew were like my mom knew and my ex

my ex-husband's mom knew and his sisters and it was his one sister did this thing so I didn't even know about this engagement party

where she invited my dad and former stepmom who did not know I was going to be getting married on this elopement. Oh, no. The sister. And then while we eloped in Vegas, and then she did this. And I found out about this party through my mom.

She didn't invite my mom. And then my dad called my... She didn't invite my mom by accident because my mom was coming to Vegas with me. And then my dad found out about it. My mom found out because my dad was like, what's this party? So I did know about it, but I didn't know is that she then sent an announcement that was like, while we were

in Vegas on the Saturday after we got married, I get a call from my brother. He's like, I just got an announcement that says this party is actually a surprise wedding. Wedding reception? Oh my god, no. And she registered us? No. wedding wedding reception and I was just like oh and she registered us

whoa she had to go eventually there's so many later that's the thing also it's like because people want to control I was like oh yeah no that's the thing I wanted it to be quick and dirty and let me deal with my dad and stepmom

later on my own terms entirely I wanted it to be quick and dirty and let me deal with my dad and stepmom later. And you gave me the option. On my own terms. And they took it away from you entirely. Know that your love, your choice. Your love, your choice. Your wedding experience should be something. If you want to get married, awesome.

If you want to get married. It's okay if you don't. Yeah. I might not. Yeah. I probably won't. But I might. Depends on who I meet.

Wow. What a great episode. We had a great episode here today. And that was the kind of I don't think so honey from Shannon that really sparked something in me. Well, first of all, we need to have a- What did it spark? We need to have a- You and I need to have a discussion about the future of it. Of I don't think so honey?

Well, we're going to keep doing it, but like, don't we need something new to sort of like spice up the pot? You always think this and I always say no. I am. He always wants to make it more difficult. Have people repeated things? There have been a couple of times

where people have done. Very rarely. But everyone has a different take. Yes. That's what makes human beings so beautiful. They're all so different. Every human being is beautiful and they all have a beautiful

take and so i wish you were just making a jerk off motion every human now you are thank you i love what they say i think i think i think we can there's there's a space for i don't think someone to coexist with other things that also how dare you bring the listeners in on this like not all specifically pop culture Or it's just we have like these other Like I don't think somebody has this beautiful Condensed unit of time To express rage at something

I feel like we can explore the full Spectrum of human Emotion so what like beyond a minute I do think so honey So like We've done on our I don do think so, honey. No, no, no, no, no. So like, so like, we've done, we've done on our Patreon. I don't think so, honey.

Maybe, honey. Stop, stop, stop. We've done on our Patreon episodes. I have complicated feelings about this. Oh. But it's, I think it's just as fun and interesting and textured.

You can't have this discussion with me in front of the listeners. You have to go through channels. Okay, we'll go through channels. You have to go through my channels which are also your channels. Okay, fine. I refuse to speak to you. We need to speak through our management.'ll go through channels you have to go through my channels who are which are also your channels okay fine um i refuse to speak to you we need to speak to our management that's good though i feel complicated about this

we had we do rupel's drag race recaps on our patreon and we say i have complicated feelings about this and it's for one minute you talk about what your feelings are oh that's so hard for nuanced feelings i know i never know what to say i because i don't ever have complicated feelings i always have a strong opinion whether it's right or not. I'll be told later. Okay, so I and you'll be the one to tell me.

Absolutely. But that was the kind of I don't think so many from Shannon that really just helped just reframe a lot of stuff and I thank you for that. Sure.

What a great help. Thank you. And Shannon is going to be on the other two. The other two and high maintenance. And I also remembered eventually Alternatino

whenever that alternatino very fun arturo arturo yeah i shot a sketch uh a couple weeks ago it was i love that very funny yeah he's a funny it's a really funny show great brendan fitzgibbons um arturo what a sweetheart um love him so much we should have him on yeah i really should actually i loved this episode i think we we got into it we got into it and now we're gonna get out of it with a song and i want bowen to perform the theme song to zelda is that really how it goes? That's Zelda's theme. What would the words be?

I remember that. That's like always been her theme. That's always been her theme. It's when she comes, when she is present. You don't really get to see her that much in all the games. She is here.

Zelda. She has powers. She could turn to someone else. That's the Sheik. That's Sheik. That's only in Ocarina of Time. Just remembering Zelda is a lady warrior. A lady warrior. She's a princess.

For such a long time. And Link is out here taking the spotlight. Link is in there. Link's the little green dude. But Zelda is like Zelda is keeping everything together. Likeda is literally

saving the world from collapsing link is twink nonsense link is twink nonsense a coin that i termed i that i termed on joel kim booster is what the tech podcast and oh really i didn't listen to it yet we we coined the term twink nonsense nonsense and i said ellen giving kevin hart an apology platform is twink nonsense hashtag ellen is Ellen is a twink. Hashtag Ellen is a twink. Ellen is like a twink top though. Ellen is an alpha twink. Ellen is an alpha twink. Yeah.

100%. She's like that twink that comes in and runs shit and you're like, whoa, that twink really fucking was commanding. We celebrate that. And Portia de Rossi is a bottom. Yeah, there you go. I mean, yeah.

Did Portia buy Ellen that that preserve with Portia money or Ellen money? What? Who knows? It's OK either way, but it's OK either way. It's OK either way. I just don't know what Portia's been up to. Oh, I think probably be probably being rich. She's working on her writing.

Yeah. Being rich. Oh, she was on Scandal. Yes. Let's close. Let's close. She got murdered. Let's close out one more time with the lyrics that her writing. Yeah, being rich. Oh, she was on Scandal. Yes. Let's close. That's right. She got murdered. Let's close out one more time

with the lyrics that you just played a baseball bat with the lyrics that you just did. Okay. She is here. Or Jennifer Hudson. She has powers. She could turn into

someone else. Bye. Kilda. Hey, a little reminder, betterhelp.com forward slash ding dong. That's where you can go and put in a little promo code to get therapy online fast. Now, BetterHelp makes it easy

to connect with licensed professional counselors who are caring professionals who specialize in the issues that you want to talk about. We're talking about depression, stress, and anxiety, trauma, grief, self-esteem, and other issues that we're all kind of dealing with that, you know, we want to reach out and get some help for, and you can connect with your counselor in a safe and private environment using betterhelp.com. Slash ding dong. Of course, yes. Slash

ding dong. Of course. If you want to use you know our promo code and get 10 off you would use the promo code ding dong we just wanted to stop in here in the middle of the episode and say and just say that so schedule secure video and phone sessions or text your therapist all included worldwide and you can start communicating in under 24 hours yeah and maybe you can even marry your therapy. Okay. We've been through this. You can't do that. It's not appropriate to marry a therapist. It's unethical.

What if they're hot? Should I get another one? Yeah. Okay. RedHop.com. Forward slash think dog. Forever. Dog.

This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram, at Forever Dog Team, and liking our page on Facebook. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home, and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami.

Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind-the-scenes stories, crazy details, and honestly, just having a blast talking football. Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all times,

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This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. I was a desperate delusional dreamer. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer.

Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. I'm Sheryl Swoops. And I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women. And T and I have no

problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby and iHeart Women's Sports Production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital

One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports.