Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - Seek Culture 3 LIVE at Murmrr Theater

Episode Date: December 11, 2019

This week we bring you the third instalment of SEEK CULTURE with Matt, Cat, Pat, and Bo live from Murmrr Theater.MERCH! MERCH! GET YOUR LAS CULTURISTAS MERCH!https://www.teepublic.com/stores/las-culturistasSUBSCRIBE ON APPLE PODCASTS TODAY!CONNECT W/ LAS CULTURISTAS ON FACEBOOK & TWITTER for the best in "I Don't Think So, Honey" action, updates on live shows, conversations with the Las Culturistas community, and behind-the scenes photos/videos:www.facebook.com/lasculturistastwitter.com/lasculturistasLAS CULTURISTAS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST. LAS CULTURISTAS IS PRODUCED BY EMMA FOLEY.http://foreverdogproductions.com/fdpn/podcasts/las-culturistas/ Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Real Housewives of New York City are back for another bite of the Big Apple. Look who it is. Joined by elite new friends. Rebecca Minkoff. Have you ever heard of her? But things could change in a New York Minute. She had this wild night and ended up getting pregnant by some other guy. What?

You told her? Not today, Satan. Not today. The Real Housewives of New York City. All new Tuesdays at 9 on Bravo. Or stream it on City TV+. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski.

And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind-the-scenes stories, crazy details, and honestly, just having a blast talking football. Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all times, from legends to our buddies to current stars. We're finally answering the age-old question, what kind of dudes are these dudes? We're going to find out, Jules.

New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba?

Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home, and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Cheryl Swoops. And I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience

as women. And T and I have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby, an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Forever.

Dog. Look, man. Oh, I see. Wow. Bowen, look over there. Wow. FOREVER! DOG! Look Matt! Where? Oh I see! Bowen look over there! Is that Culture? Oh my goodness! Las Culturistas!

Hey everybody! Thank you for coming to Seek Culture at Murmur Theatre! Please help me welcome to the stage Bowen Yang, Kat Cohen, Matt Rogers, and Pat Reagan. All right. Why didn't we get those big church chairs? I wouldn't have felt comfortable as someone who respects all cultures and all religions using a religious throne for my live podcast show. That's not what

religious thrones are for. Let's just get something out of the way really quickly. Sure, sure, sure. I lost my voice. Say that again. I lost my voice. So Catherine has hemorrhaged a vocal cord and I'm not

a doctor but I think that's what happened. She's trying to communicate with us right now. She's trying to communicate with us right now. She's trying to tell us something. Yeah. Go. The only thing I'll do into the mic is kiss. What had happened was,

Catherine sneezed a little hard this morning. And she's going to tell it herself. I'm not going to speak for her. I sneezed and my cord started bleeding. So this is an amazing, I think, learn-teachable moment for all the young girls in our crowd that are experiencing sneezes. And they're saying, was that too hard?

Was that not hard enough? Like, this is things male doctors don't really understand or talk about. Stars, they're just like us. Also, when you sneeze, you don't have to perform, okay? It's for you. We are laughing, but there is pain. Catherine is very sad, but also we said this is a true test

of an icon, a performer, an entertainer. If you can still be compelling on stage without making an icon, a performer, an entertainer. If it would still be compelling on stage without making any sound. I mean, that's how it is. I'm a physical comedian. Yeah. Okay, now I'm mad that she's crushing way harder than all of us with no voice. I know. I don't think she should be allowed to use the machine anymore.

Yeah, we have to take something away. Oh my god, wait. How is everyone? Machines will win. No one here cares about us. No one cares. Catherine wants you to know that. Machines will win.

Machines will win. Always. Well, it's very nice that you all came out to this show Seek Culture which is an advice hour and a half I'm sure you've come with lots of questions all of your diseases already

pre-diagnosed so that we don't have to diagnose them for you you guys know there is a bar on the third floor right do people know that there's a bar on the third floor great we were worried that there's a bar on the third floor? Great. We were worried that there was this sort of misconception that this was a dry campus. Yeah.

Drinking can be amazing. It can be. So what we're going to do is we're going to diagnose our own diseases up on stage for you in this first section, but then we're going to open it up to some... The applause on when we said diagnose our own diseases on stage for you in this first section, but then I'm going to open it up to some... The applause on when we said diagnose our own diseases. We have to be

honest. We have to come forward and be honest about the fact that we have been here for, technically, scientists are saying only two hours, but we've lived many lifetimes in the back room here. And the rumors are true that me and Bo and Yang have gotten into upwards of four fights since we've been here. And the rumors are true that me and Bowen Yang have gotten into upwards of four fights since we've been here.

It's true. The pitch of Pat's voice backstage when he thought that Bowen had misrepresented him to a new friend. He actually did misrepresent me. And I own up to it and I apologize. It cost me nothing.

It cost him nothing. It cost me nothing to be the bigger person and apologize. Well, it wasn't the bigger, it was the equally sized person, because you were wrong, and you admitted it. Okay, yeah. I was right, I also admitted it. But now, our friendship is so strong right now. It's crazy. It's so crazy.

It's crazy. We're in an amazing place. We're in an amazing place. We're in an amazing place. We shared a dick first hug. Right. We essentially, we over the pants docked. Docked. We docked just five minutes ago.

If you don't know what docking is, it's when two, say it with me, uncut men. Only one has to be uncut. Only one, but it's, only one has to be uncut. Only one has to be uncut. But they both can be uncut. That's for you guys. If you're... Yeah, so... And cut and uncut, unfortunately,

is one of the last remaining binaries, and I just want everyone to be... Cut and uncut is sadly not a spectrum. It's not a spectrum. It turns out not everything can be a spectrum. It's not a spectrum. It turns out not everything can be a spectrum. It's pretty cool. Pretty cool. That's queer.

All right. Who's cut? Wait. So, okay. Either everyone's fucking shy AF. Yeah. Or we have a lot of uncut guys and gals in this room. Who's uncut?

Any uncuts? Yeah! Thank you. You guys, oh wow. Can we give them something? A t-shirt cannon. Now as my girls, as you know we're all family men and girls.

When we have our children ultimately, me and Catherine will be raising two children together and I will be raising two children together, and I will have my own brood that she's not involved with. Do you guys think you'll ultimately make the choice to go for your kids to cut or to not cut? Oh, my God. You know, I just recently asked my boyfriend. Oh, my boyfriend. Oh my God.

I asked my boyfriend like in a stupid way. I was like, so you want kids? And he said, no, hard no. And then he said, that's why I have a dog. Do you have any idea how hard it is to raise a dog? And it does seem like a lot of work and so then i kind of i was i was like okay yeah cool i don't want kids either but here's the thing maybe my disease is that i said i didn't want kids to appease my new boy but maybe i do oh wow so at what point do i didn't want a

boyfriend until i lost my voice this morning at 10 a.m. due to me doing a sneeze, and now I want a boyfriend. Take care of Emmy. Take care of who? What she's trying to say is take care of me. Take care of me. We will. We're taking care of you. And everyone here is taking care of Catherine tonight What she's trying to say is take care of me. Take care of me. We will. We're taking care of you. And everyone here is taking care of Catherine tonight.

Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. Matt, I think you shouldn't cede your desires. Ultimately, I don't want a child. Can you imagine me with a child? I know. I still get excited about going to Disney World. It would be like we'd be online and they'd be like,

we have room for one more and I'd leave my kid. What I will say about you with a child, I think you would be a better parent than some, but not all, of the teen mom OGs. Name them, name them. Which say it with not a reason.

I think you would be a better mom than Farrah. Worse mom than Caitlyn. Better mom than Amber. Worse mom than Macy. Better mom than Bristol. Worse mom than Cheyenne. Wait, can I reveal something? I was an intern for Teen Mom 2.

Really? Well, you know what I say about Teen Mom 2. And my job exclusively consisted of, I stapled their Taco Bell receipts onto pieces of white paper, and that was how we itemized them. And every single day, there were thousands, approximately thousands of Taco Bell receipts.

Oh, my God. They exclusively ate at Taco Bell or Taco Hut or Ken Taco Hut. The moms or the production? The teen moms and the entire staff and production of MTV's Teen Mom 2 ate only at Taco Bell or Taco Hut

or Ken Taco Hut. She's trying to communicate with us. I think we need a sign or dance move that means now I've heard everything. Well, do you want to show us what you think it is? It's like, no, you. Well, what I want to say...

Wow. Wait, did I hear this correctly that you guys all learned to dance together at Seek Treatment Live? Well, ultimately what happened was my younger brother, shout out, who Catherine is, say it with me, sexually attracted to. Really? You're the one with the hot brothers. No, trust me. And that's why me and Catherine are pooling our brothers and starting a gigolo service.

Anyways, at a Sweet 16, I believe, they invented a dance, my younger cousins, kind of my Gen Z cousins, and kept adding moves, and then Catherine kind of took to it, and we actually did it as a line dance to actually put Malone on our live show. Like a fish to

water. So anyway, I won't have children. Okay. Well, do you want, but do you want children? Do you want children? I want to see a little me, but I don't want children. Well, you can't see a little you because as gay men, science isn't there yet where we can't have bio kids with our lovers,

except for the fact that there was a study that I read a headline of an article about that said gay rats got each other pregnant. Can you explain the mechanism? Do you want to know something hot, though? Yeah. If me and my boyfriend now had a kid, I found out who it would look like. It would look like Zach Posen.

Who I think is hot. Is that problematic? That I would want to fuck what I think my kid would look like? Yeah. That's actually problematic, or at the very least, stay with me, narcissistic. What is, is there a... Who do I look like? Who do you look like?

Um. Oh, I know. Elizabeth Taylor. I know. G Taylor. I know. Gigi Hadid. I know. Greta Gerwig. My therapist said Jared Leto. Oh my god, she's trying to tell us something. Enough of me, what's going on with my boys?

Well, I don't want kids, because if I did, I would fuck them. Yeah. What is, okay. Shut up., because if I did, I would fuck them. Yeah. What is... Okay. Shut up. Shut up. I have a question. He's making a responsible choice. The most responsible thing you could do if you want to fuck your kids is to not have them.

Has nothing to do with climate change. It's just about being so narcissistic that you would fuck your own child in the image of yourself. It's like, I don't want to bring my kids in. Not in the image of me. It would look like Zach Posen. Right, okay. I don't want to bring kids into this fucked up world where I want to fuck them.

I have a question. Is there a psychology term for this? There's edible complexes. There's electric complexes. What are the queer little equivalents of that? Do you mean what is the complex when you want to fuck your kid?

That's a Mary-Kay Letourneau comp. A Mary-Kay Letourneau what? But Mary-Kay Letourneau wasn't related to Billy Blu. I know, but I was trying to make a joke. I'm doing what I can. Yeah.

There's something. I don't think there's yet a term for it. Are you saying, because you said queer, are you assigning it to LGBTQ? Yeah, and I'm thinking like, but actually it would just be Oedipal and Electra if it's like a kid wants to

fuck his gay dad. If a kid wants to fuck his gay dad. It doesn't matter what the parents are saying. Well, I always say that I have gay Oedipus complex because I'm fucking someone from the same state as my dad. And that's gay Oedipus complex. Rhode Island? Rhode Island even, yeah. Such a small state, can't believe there's more than

a few people in it. There's not, actually. There's not. There's my dad and my lover. People you could viably fuck oh okay so we're gonna just so we can set this up and offer everybody this up top we're gonna move into an audience advice section so there's a microphone

in the center aisle people in the pews feel free how are the pew people doing what's up the pews what's up the pews wait are there people sitting the pews feel free. How are the pew people doing? How are pew people doing? What's up the pews? What's up the pews? Wait, are there people sitting in pews? What? Praise Jesus.

No. I do think, I believe this is a... Not here. I think... Wait, that's... I shot down Jesus just now, but we're... I do think this is a Jewish worship. This place is Jewish?

This place is... So he, in these walls,ety, he don't exist. Okay. We're dealing with Old Testament God here. I think he exists. They just don't acknowledge. Yeah. This is ultimately a podcast about theology and about religion versus spirituality and

about if Jesus exists. Okay. Everyone's so fucking cool. Now that something annoying happened to me, everyone's so fucking cool. Now that something annoying happened to me, I believe in God again. Now that something annoying happened to me, I believe in God again. Wow.

So, Bowen, should we move this into advice now? I feel, well, let's just go down the line and just let's each talk about what our diseases are. Okay, well, I think my diseases, I want to fuck my kid. Oh, yeah. Because I think it would look like Zac Posen

and I have a crush on Zac Posen. So your disease... For everyone that just walked in, my boyfriend and I, I think if we had a baby, it would look like Zac Posen and I would want to fuck Zac Posen. Zac Posen's my celebrity crush.

So that's been challenging for me in thinking ahead if I want to have children. I just want to reflect back to you that your disease start and as you were telling your boyfriend you didn't want kids to please him and now it changed into kind of wanting to fuck your kids. So is that truly what

it is or do you... No, actually to be TBH I'm like very happy overall. Oh. That's nice. I'm happy for you. I'm just reaching for something that I think could be a problem, and I'm thinking, well, if I had a kid, I might want to fuck it. So let's say that. Fuck it.

I don't know my disease. Maybe my girls can diagnose. Your disease? Your disease. I will say the way that you treated Bowen backstage was absolutely insane. Are you kidding me? Don't. Okay, so imagine this.

Don't fall into this trap. Imagine this backstage. Pat, screaming at Bowen. I was kidding me? Don't. Okay, so imagine this. Don't fall into this trap. Imagine this backstage. Pat screaming at Bowen. I was not screaming at Bowen. Catherine, silent, clutching. Don't be mean to my friend. Don't be mean to my friend. I love my friend and her machine.

No. What? What's happening? Are you sweating? She doesn't have pit stains. No, she doesn't. You don't have pit stains. No, you don't have. Okay. She never thought she sweating? She doesn't have pit stains No she doesn't You don't have pit stains? No you don't have

Okay She never thought she did She didn't think she did Woo What was Pat saying backstage? No We had a misunderstanding Well it started

when I got here and someone had brought me quest burns which I had never asked for I asked for them Bowen looked at me as though I'd I would say

murdered his family. And said, I can't believe you have them burn you. I did not say that. Yes, you did. Oh, my God. It wasn't even him that asked for it, though. Literally, hot producer Meg dropped off a bunch of snaps. Oh, no, no, no.

Alex dropped off a bunch of snaps. Well, you know what we're doing? We're falling into a shot. I know. We're not going to fall into your shot, Matt. Why would you do that? Why would you do this towards us? This is your disease.

The prompt was, what are our diseases? And then you looked at me and said, what's my disease? Diagnose me. You acted crazy backstage and now you're saying it's because of candy. You have a serious sick problem.

What did you guys think of Pat's little new stud in his ear? Oh, yeah. Wow, took him a minute. Yeah, no one cares. That's okay. I'm really happy with it. My disease is that I'm... It's fashion.

It's fashion. It's fashion. It is fashion. Well, Catherine said that because a lot of my fashion is, and I'll paraphrase, stupid, she said that having the earring kind of makes it seem like everything's a choice and it kind of elevates it.

When you do introduce some new element to your fashion, for you, it's a huge deal. Totally. Well, you told me one time, Bowen, that you don't think I should, when I get money, you don't think I should change everything. You think I should just elevate my current aesthetic. Absolutely.

I didn't totally place it in terms of money, but... I feel like it was a response to me being like, when I get money, I'm going to buy all new clothes. And you were like, I don't think you're going to buy new clothes. And you said the words are torial. Well, that's huge for Bowen huge for me she's trying to tell us something she's trying to tell us something

my disease is I had to wear this gorgeous counter make up for my wretched hell kissed mood but it doesn't really breathe one more time she's gonna go slower oh slower my disease is I had to wear this gorgeous counter make up for my wretched She's going to go slower. Oh, slower. My disease is I had to wear this gorgeous counter-makeup for my wretched

hell-kissed mood, but it doesn't really breathe. But you look amazing. That's not a disease. That's not a disease. What's mine? I can't really diagnose. I actually can diagnose you. I can always diagnose you.

That's an amazing gift you have, Matt. I think that you should ignore the haters. Wait, who's your haters? I'm actively seeking them out. Oh, right. Bowen is addicted to going online and seeing what the Yang gang is saying about him. No, no, no.

He's addicted to it. It's not the Yang gang. That about him. No, no, no, no. He's addicted to it. He's obsessed. No, it's not the Yang gang. That I've sort of made peace with, and I was like, hey, I'm sorry I squinted too much. It was literally my first day wearing contacts. And they didn't ask. And I had to look.

I couldn't read the damn cue cards. And also, it was a bad impression. Yeah, it was bad. It wasn't a bad impression. I thought it was good. And also, he does squint a little. No. Careful. No! When he is getting serious, he kind of does.

He furrows his brow. You fucking did it, bitch! You're the fucking racist! Here I am, sticking my neck out for you. And you say, okay. No, no, no. It's just everybody. Everybody, I'm just, I'm seeking it out.

It's kind of, it's kind of entertainment at this point though. When you go on to Twitter and you say hmm, you tell them that you saw it and they say, hmm, da-da-da-da-da-da, you tell them that you saw it and they say, ha-ha-ha. Actually, no. Got the bitch.

I've noticed it's died down. It's died down since I... And there's a party that hates that, doesn't there? No. No, no, no, no. This is it. I am of the Joan Didion school of thought where the more you examine something, the less scary it becomes.

Wow. And I'm examining it and it's, what's that? I'm of the Joan Didion school of thought where the more you examine something, the less scary it becomes. Oh my god. And laughter

laughter Is that you hating what I just said? No, she loves it. Oh, you love it. Bowen, that's her coming towards you. Oh my God. That's her coming towards me. I look book.

What's that? I look books. I look books. I mean, who said it? I look books. I look books. I look books. I love books. I love books I look books I love books

I love books That's amazing, Kath That's amazing, Kath That's really great, Kath Congrats You love books Oh my god That's really cool, Kath

Everyone say cool to my friend That she loves books Cool Well, what was my disease the first time when we all met that fateful day in River Dog Studios and recorded it? What was my disease then? I don't remember.

Was it about anxiety or was it? Probably, but. You used to hate sex. Used to hate sex. Oh, yeah. And now you fucking love it, bitch. Now you're now you're getting

fucked and all okay stop I have now you always have cum in your butt yeah you would know Kyler and you would know

maybe stop looking up there she's always looking up my hole and that's another thing he said backstage is he informed us that he had pooped out. Stop it, Matthew. I have teenage blood relatives in the audience. Before we went

on stage, you said, please fuck me for once. Before we went on stage, you said, please fuck me for once. I did tell him, please fuck me for once. I did tell Catherine, please fuck me for once. But yeah, I did say that. I did say that. And honestly, before we came on stage, Bowen did search himself

on Twitter, and then that did prompt me to then search all of us on WikiFeet. And only Catherine is on WikiFeet, and she has a 4.5 star rating get your pics of those piggies boys show them the piggies Bowen you're not on wiki feet I'm not on wiki feet cuz I think they I think they want bare skin

they want toes I'm gonna I'm gonna start posting pics of my feet yeah and then well that's in your insta bio, isn't it? And people... I can lift my leg higher, but I am not wearing underwear. That's fair. You know, it's a little joke in my bio. I say feet pics for sale, but that

makes it feel like I'm making a joke at the expense of the feet community. Bowen thinks I'm hack. Bowen like I'm making a joke at the expense of the feet community. Bowen thinks I'm hack. Bowen thinks I'm hack. What did you say? Bowen thinks I'm hack. No, oh my God.

Bowen, do you think my friend is hack? No. Why did you say that? You looked at her and you thought that that underwear joke was a hack joke. Because you made a face. You were like, huh, and I just matched you. It was a classic. It was a classic case of. It was a classic matching piece in a face. You were like, huh, and I just matched you. It was a classic. It was a classic case of.

It was a classic matching, peas in a pod. It was a peas in a pod moment between Kat and Bo. Absolutely. You know what's crazy? All four of us nowadays are bottoms. Yes. I think that you can make the argument that Catherine's versed. I put my finger in a butt.

Wow, that's very top-ish activity, Catherine. And she did it. She put her finger in a guy's butt on Pride weekend. Wow. Why is everyone crying? While I touched the dick still. Yeah, you put the finger in his butt while you touched his dick still. He don't know where to look. He's going to get whiplash on that. Yeah, you put the finger in his butt while you touched his dick still. He don't know where to look.

He's going to get whiplash on that. Yeah. Yeah. Now, Catherine is a dumb vagina owner. No, she's actually stubby. She's stubby, you can tell. Because she runs things like a boss in her real life. When the door gets closed and the lights go down,

she wants to be taken care of. Yeah. Care of. She's working on it. Right now she's working on a 500-word essay about this. Hold on. She's working on a 500-page essay on the subject. This is going to be good.

Look. She's going to the library for a while to work and then she's going to come back. I think... What are you, Bowen bowen what am i a power bottom i don't think i have a sexual identity anymore which is great yeah because you're so open so that means you get to go on a hero's journey to find one or you're or you're saying it's more nebulous and it's like let's see who i meet let's see what we find together as partners. Yeah, and I've just dissociated from... It's like I try to think back on the last time and I just can't remember.

So that's fine. That's all I... He has a bad memory. It was two days ago. He has amnesia. He had a full orgy 36 hours ago. He gets fucked every day. He has Drew Barrymore 51st Dates disease.

I have 51st Dates disease and I fuck every day. Someone said, oh, day. He has Drew Barrymore, 51st date's disease. 51st date's disease, and I fuck every day. Someone said, oh, just fully erasing Drew Barrymore, 51st date's disease. I think it was made up for that movie, though. I think that it was, too. It was made up. It's not real. Wait, Catherine, are you prepared? Go ahead.

Here we go. Uh-oh. All I think about during sex is a professor telling me if you walk into my office dressed like this, you're going to end up with a cock in your mouth, so I think I'm a sub. This is my official statement. Oh, my God. Wait, what is the hottest porn scenario?

We know Catherine's. What is your ideal porn scenario that you could find yourself in, Bo and Yang? Oh, that I have to place myself in? Yeah, find yourself in a situation. Now tell us all what that is. No one sounds cool when they say this. I think I sound cool when I say this. Well, not now.

Okay, you do it. Mine is very well documented. Do you mean my favorite porn or my favorite kind of fantasy? What's your favorite porn? My favorite porn is, anyone can shout it out. Massage beef.

Massage beef. Thank you. Massage? Massage beef or as Catherine constantly misremembers it, meat surprise. Massage beef is a 32-minute video on Pornhub.com forward slash gay.

Forward slash gay. And the premise is it's part of a larger piece, you can tell, because there's a framing device where we start actually inside a therapist's office. And the therapist is really hot. You can tell in the longer piece that this was cut from.

He certainly fucks a lot. But he is talking to camera, actually, monologuing. And he's explaining his modality for treatment. For when he finds a patient who actually is gay, he can tell, but the person doesn't want to admit it. He sends this person to a famous

massager. Masseuse, even. Masseur. So this guy, this beefy, He sends this person to a famous massager, masseuse even. And, um... Masseur, masseur. So this guy, this, like, beefy, muscly beard guy even, goes and he's getting a massage from this guy who looks kind of like Denise Richards' husband from... Denise Richards' husband from Beverly Hills, Housewives.

And the guys, they have this kind of problematic discussion about, like, the concept of homosexuality as he's getting rubbed down and they're talking about like if they like guys and they kind of both agree they don't and they're talking they kind of are internalized homophobic to be honest yeah and um so anyways like he's like definitely oiling oiling oiling takes towel off oil is actually in the crack and it kind of introduces this idea of, like, what if something touched your crack? And then, um, and that's kind of even foreshadowing. And then, um, obviously it's time then to flip over, and then we get handsy in the crotch,

and then we get up real close to the face while we're on the crotch, and we say, do you like this? Should I keep going? Start making Al go on the couch and they do riding into doggy into missionary. I prefer start with doggy, get it out of the way.

Then riding, not necessarily, but if you want to do it, I think it's the middle. And then I want to end with missionary. Wow. In porn. Dissertation vibes. Dissertation vibes. Mine is not a specific narrative.

I just like, okay, so maybe you guys go on Pornhub.com and hi. And so did you ever type in hot guys fuck? So, okay, so I guess one time I typed in hot guys fuck because that's how general I was feeling on the day.

And so there's a whole channel called hot guys fuck which is just, it's porn, it's straight porn. It's straight porn. I love straight porn. Sorry,

I'm here. I'm here. That's a reverse, that's a reverse kids are alright. Yeah, exactly. So I love straight porn. Sorry, I'm here. I'm here. I'm staying here. That's a reverse kids are all right. Yeah, exactly. So I love straight porn, and I love straight porn where the guys are like, they sit, it's like a guy and a girl,

and they're sitting on the couch, and they're fully clothed, and they're sitting next to each other, and the camera guy's like, all right, so I'm here with Steven and Kelly. What's up, guys? And they're like, hey. And he's like, all right, so how long have you guys known each other? And they're like hey. And he's like alright so

how long have you guys known each other? And they're like I think we just met. And then they're like oh for sure for sure. So Kelly we've had you in here a couple times. We've seen you get reeled a couple times. And she's like yeah I for sure have. I stan Kelly.

And then he's like. Kelly is gold. Yeah Kelly is gold. He's like Steven you're new here. I am Kelly. And then he's like... Kelly is gold. Yeah, Kelly is gold. He's like, Stephen, you're new here. I am Kelly. You're either a Kelly or a Stephen. That's another binary.

That's another binary, Kelly and Stephen. And then he's like, Stephen, what do you think of Kelly? You think she's pretty hot, right? And he's like, yeah, Steven still, what do you think of Kelly? You think she's got like pretty, pretty, pretty hot, right? And he's like, yeah, I think she's pretty hot. And she's like, yeah, I think he thinks I'm hot. And then she like reaches Dick and she's like, yeah, he does. He does. I can tell.

And the camera guy's like, oh, cool. I guess I'll let you guys just like get to it. Let's see if there's chemistry. I love when the camera guy lets them just get to it and see if there's chemistry and then there is chemistry and then they fuck but the camera is fully on the guy's butt and it's like not about kelly at all it's entirely about like steven like fucking and it's just like straight porn that's about like these hot like like hairless straight men fucking women. And then the women, honestly, they're the best actors.

Because they have to do the most to be seen. Because the scene's not about them. Sound familiar? Sound familiar? Sound familiar? The most to be seen, the most to be heard. Maybe those women should have machines. I watched one recently where the girl came five times

and everyone was like, oh, it's going to happen again. Like everyone on set gathered around and was like, yes. Audibly, they're like, she was like, I can't believe this. I don't like that. I love, I think that, I think the crew is just as important as the cast, but I want them off screen in porn. No, they're all in it together. No, for me, they're not in it together.

I think for me, it's about the cast. Well, the cast was having the thrill of a lifetime. Also, the way that some people come in these porns, that wasn't an exaggeration when I did. That's my favorite oneation when I did. Yeah. That's my favorite one. It's when they go... That's my favorite... I'm gonna come. I'm coming.

Pirate bias. Pirate cum. Pirate cummer. Pirate O-face. Catherine. Catherine and your machine. Catherine and your machine. Catherine and the machine. Catherine and the Technicolor machine.

Here we go. I have to say something. She's going to drag Pat. Are you serious? I was just listening for once. You could take a lesson from me. You could take a lesson from me. You could take a lesson from me. Hey, Kath.

I know you're going through so much right now, so I'm praying for you. Oh, my God. I thought you guys were, like, had each other's backs. We did. It's crazy the way you guys just turn on each other. I am serious.

Everyone should pray for me. Pray him. That's my Vikesha. This is my fantasy. Okay, go. Go ahead. It's just environmental because there's- Greta.

Greta vibes. It's Greta vibes. It's OnlyFans, JustForFans videos where the apartment has a lot of greenery. What? You know how some of these amateur videos, the fucking places are dumps. I think that's so hot, though. No, I hate it.

Like a filthy apartment. No, you know what I want? Sorry. No going out. You're out of your time. There's this one guy who lives in London and he has this really clean line room and he's got a lot of lush

plants and I love it. See, I would never want so many plants in porn but I, um... That's why we're so different. I know, I know. It's a red flag if a guy has a nice apartment. No, what I want in my... What I want environmentally for...

Well, Catherine, maybe take your own advice. Oh my God, his own book. I say take your own advice, so I was just kidding that section. That section. That section. I can only come to your mahogany

and build in bookcases. I like that standard chitin too. It's like that kind of finished basement that a lot of Sean Cody happens in where it's like the same kind of white carpet sectional sofa. Windowless. If that sectional sofa can talk, you know. Yeah.

There's a lot of like nice like deck act, decorative accents. Deck act. Deck accents. Deck-ack. Deck-ack. Deck-ack. There's a lot of good deck-ack. Six figures and it's deck-ack. Speaking of...

I just blacked out. Deck-ack. Deck-ack. Now get to the sex. We talked about the plants. Here's the thing. The sex can be anything. The only fixed point has to be just the decor and then everything else. It can be

so variable. Thank you. Thank you. And that in a way is verse. It's verse. Now, I think it's time to open it up to some audience. It's time to open up the floor. You can ask us advice questions about boys, sex, fucking, dating, love, or culture.

So please line up at that light right here. I think it is time to open up the floor. What's that? She thinks it's time to open up the floor. It's time to open up the floor. Thank you, Matt. Literally, you have to. The Real Housewives of New York City are back for another bite of the Big Apple. Look who it is.

Joined by elite new friends. Rebecca Minkoff. Have you ever heard of her? But things could change in a New York Minute. She had this wild night and ended up getting pregnant by some other guy. What? You told her? Not today, Satan.

Not today. The Real Housewives of New York City. All new Tuesdays at 9 on Bravo or stream it on City TV+. I'm Cheryl Swoops, WNBA champ, three-time Olympian, and Basketball Hall of Famer. I'm a mom and I'm a woman. I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby, journalist, sports reporter, basketball analyst, a wife, and I'm also a woman. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. See, athlete or not, we all know it takes a lot as women to be at the top of our game.

We want to share those stories about balancing work and relationships, motherhood, career shifts, you know, just all the s*** we go through. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women. And T and I, well, we have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby, an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of I Heart Women's Sports. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, a five-year-old boy floated alone in the ocean.

He had lost his mother trying to reach Florida from Cuba. He looked like a little angel. I mean, he looked so fresh. And his name, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere. Elian Gonzalez. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian.

Elian. Elian Gonzalez. At the heart of the story is a young boy and the question of who he belongs with. His father in Cuba. Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take he belongs with. His father in Cuba. Mr. González wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died

trying to get you to freedom. At the heart of it all is still this painful family separation. Something that as a Cuban, I know all too well. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, as part of the My Cultura podcast network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. Guess what, folks? We're teammates again. And we're going to welcome you guys all to Dudes on Dudes. I'm a dude. You're a dude. And Dudes on Dudes is our brand new show.

We're going to highlight players, peers, guys that we played against, legends from the past, and we're just going to sit here and talk about them. And we'll get into the types of dudes. What kind of types of dudes are there, Grunks? We got studs, wizards. We got freaks. Or dudes, dude. We got dogs. Dogs.ards. We got freaks. Or dudes, dude. We got dogs.

Dogs. We'll break down their games. We'll share some insider stories and determine what kind of dude each of these dudes are. Is Randy Moss a stud or a freak? Is Tom Brady a dog or a dudes dude? We're going to find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. comes, they all come. Wow, Pioneer. This is the first brick. Paving the way. I love this girl. I love this girl.

I love this girl. And I love your pack. Oh, thank you. It's very good. I love your pack. Thank you. A psychic told me one of my friends is super in love with me. How do I find out who it is? A psychic told you that one?

Can I ask you a question? Yes. Has anything your psychic has told you ever been real? I don't regularly have a psychic. This was like a free experience. Yeah. Was it at a party and she just was like, by the way, I'm a psychic, your friend's in love? No.

Or was it? I went to a friend's work event and there was a chocolate psychic. There was a what psychic? A chocolate psychic? A chocolate psychic? A chocolate psychic? He made me drizzle chocolate syrup on a piece of paper. He looked at it like a Rorschach test.

Did she look like me in a wig? Did she look like me in a wig? Go ahead. All right. Keep going. That's it. I know that you said that's it we know we I know that you said that's it

but we need more context so there was there was a sort of chocolate psychic looking at a chocolate raw scotch yeah yeah yeah he made us like

meditate and then we drizzled chocolate syrup on a piece of paper and folded it in half and then gave it to him and he and is that your

friend's work event are you are you listening to yourself? And you're starting to like, you know. Stop. No, listen. I'm the practical one of the four. It was free.

I really want to stress that. So let me ask. Are you getting vibes from any of your friends? No. Are you in love with any of your friends? No. So then it doesn't matter ultimately. He said I'm not in love with them. The chocolate psychic. The chocolate psychic said you're not in love with them, but they're in love with any of your friends? No. So then it doesn't matter ultimately. He said I'm not in love with them.

The chocolate psychic. The chocolate psychic said you're not in love with them, but they're in love with you? Okay, so then what's in it for you to find out? I just kind of want to know. I think that's a way for this chocolate psychic to kind of make a really safe guess, you know? Like someone's in love with you, but it doesn't matter.

But it's low stakes. I need the stakes to be higher, but I love your work. Also, one thing, one thing. Did you come with anyone here tonight? No, my friend broke her foot and couldn't come. I sold my ticket. Thank you for still coming. But also, police, we have a scalper,

and if you could take her to jail. Can I tell you what I would do if I were you? I would just start going up to your friends and kind of doing this. Small things. Just small things to let them know. Just sort of, yeah. Can I ask you a question? Yeah. Just sort of

make yourself known. I would say definitely buy one of these dresses. Now are you my only answer if you feel this so safe are you g s b or where are you on the s whatever yeah you're whatever great well this doesn't narrow it down at all i know i think um definitely the dress would help. Do you have any interest in striking up a friendship with the chocolate psychic? No. He's also a fire dancer. I found his Instagram.

Wait, he's also what? Wait, he sounds hot. A fire dancer. Can I tell you what I think? I think he wanted you to be interested enough to go to his Instagram and follow him and tell us all that he was a fire dancer so that we all go to Instagram and look for this psychic fire dancer who

works exclusively with chocolate so that he could pop absolutely off. I did not follow him. You didn't follow him? I think reach for the moon even if you miss you land among the stars. Is that the psychic? Where? Oh my god.

If you shoot for the moon, you'll land amongst the stars? I think someone's visiting us. It's me, the chocolate psychic. Oh my god. Wait, Catherine, you're not even touching your computer. Chocolate psychic. Wait, Catherine, you've X'd out of the app. What's your name? What's your name? Leah.

Leah? Chocolate psychic. Which of Leah's friends is it? Please give us a sign, anything. Him de chocolat psychique. Oh! He's French. He's French. Do you have a friend's name, Joe?

No, that was the psychic's name. Wait. I'm a psychic. I'm a little psychic. I told you. Oh, my God. That psychic. I told you. I'm so proud. Oh my god, that just came into my head, I swear to god. Pat, you have a gift. I've never met this woman, I've never met this chocolate psychic.

That came into my head. I am so proud of my friend. Leah, I think that we answered your question. Thank you for speaking culture. But Leah, I want you to take a huge risk and ask the chocolate psychic out on a date. If that's not

ethically weird because you were his client. He is the one. Okay, we can have our next person to the mic. Yes, it's you. It's you. Yes, thank you. It's you. I, thank you. It's you. I love this girl before me. We love her.

Hi. Hi. Hey. Ooh, that's what I sound like. I am... My question is, I'm 24. Okay. Congratulations. Congratulations. Sorry. It's huge. Okay. And... My question is.

It's amazing for you. No, that's. Hang on to that. I will. I'm 24 and I'm hooking up with a 36 year old. What's your take? No, God. What's our take?

Yeah. I just want to know your opinion or advice. I am horny. 24, 36 is kind of, it's like one of those beautiful, opinion or advice? I am horny. 24 36 is kind of, it's like one of those beautiful, like one of those ratios like the natural ratio. We also work together. Oh. He what? Okay. In a hot way.

Is he in a position where he's your superior? Oh no, sadly not. Sadly not? Do you guys work in different departments or are you We're in the restaurant industry. It's pretty equal. Are you a server? I'm a host. He's a server. You're a hostess?

What does he do at the restaurant? Is he a chef? He's a waiter. He's a waiter. It'd be hot if he was a chef. He wears a three-piece suit, so it's pretty hot. Could he go to culinary school? He could. I was going to ask, are there any hot chefs at your job?

They're very scary. No, too scary. Well, how do you feel about the 36-year-old? I mean, I don't notice it, because he's pretty immature for his age in a good way. He's what? Yes. I mean, I don't know. He acts like he's more not 36. I don't know.

So what we're hearing is that... So it's not that you're immature, it's that he is more not 36. Oh, okay. So what we're hearing is that... So it's not that you're mature, it's that he is immature. Yeah, I would say so. I'm pretty mature. Is he an actor? No, thank God. Cool.

Look at me, that's huge. I made sure of that. Are there red flags that have nothing to do with his age? Sure, yeah. Sure. Detail those. Oh, I don't know.

Okay, that's fine. You don't have to go into it. Is this ultimately just like... What? In a few years, you'll be like having a glass of orange wine with your girl and you'll be like, I used to hook up with this old guy. Exactly. And that's why we do things.

Ultimately, life is about collecting stories. Zoxo, I love your top. It's a good top. Can I ask you, is the sex good? It's great. It's really good. He's very generous, if I may say. Wow. That's nice. So, like, he goes

out of his way. He goes out of his way without needing to go out of his way. A hundred percent. Well, let me say, you seem very satisfied. I am. Okay. I think we say it's, we actually, as a council, I'll say it's okay. We think it's great. So it's okay.

It's okay from everyone. When I was five years younger than you, I was fucking someone at my job, and I was also in the service industry. And it was a real thrill. Just make sure that you don't give him your phone number. Because in ten years, he will try to call you at 4 a.m. Telling you that he wants to hook up with you again.

And you will have to block his number. I'll do that. I'll do that. Thank you so much. Kat, do you approve? Kat, do you approve? To borrow my phrase from earlier, okay. Thank you for seeking culture.

Thank you so much for seeking culture towards us. Thank you so much for seeking culture towards us. Hello. Hello. Hi. Hi. Welcome. Make yourself at home.

The chairs are for everyone. I actually know my disease. I'm still in love with the first person I ever had a crush on oh and so when did you first have that feeling oh literally like

second grade yeah this is how when was the last time you saw him or her like high school graduation? What grade are you in now? I'm a college freshman. You're a college freshman.

So 13th grade. I'm in 13th grade. You're in 13th grade. So Catherine was actually joking about what grade, but you're actually really a young person. At this point, it's like all right did you go to your high school obviously okay was he um was he a cheer captain and you're in the kind of except for I didn't go to a single football game that's okay

look at me neither did Taylor was he like a jockey quarterback type yeah well is there a quarterback for volleyball because that's what he was they're called the Spiker. Yeah. Oh, you're so, you're a zygo.

Like, you will forget about him in like four years. Yeah. Truly. He won't matter. You will meet someone and you'll be like, oh, that guy had nice hair. Yeah. But now I know a different person. He did have really good hair. Did he? It was like blonde curly hair. It was hair. Yeah. But now I know a different person. He did have really good hair.

Did he? It was like blonde curly hair. It was good. Oh. Well, do you go, where does he go to college? Oh God. University of Wisconsin.

Okay, he's going to lose that hair really quick. My God. I think, oh my God. I remember the guy that I crushed on in high school. I actually don't remember the guy I crushed on in high school. Because enough time passes that you just, they just get out of your fucking Rolodex at a certain point. And yeah, sometimes you even realize you hate them. Yeah.

Do you stan Taylor? It's okay if you don't. I mean, I hate her new album. No offense, but. You're not offending me, babe. Yeah, but like Fearless in like 1989. Fearless in 1989. I wrote that album.

What did you say? I wrote that album. She likes that album. It's a good album. She said I wrote that album. I wrote that album. All right, I'm sorry. He said I wrote that album.

Oh, wait. Catherine, can we get a hold of this guy? Yeah, can we get a hold of this guy? Can we speak to her? Her first crush? Oh, my God. See if you can get him online. Well, what would you say to him if you could?

Let me hack the mainframe. Catherine, they see you. Get out. Six seconds. I need six seconds. What would you say to him if you could speak to him? Because he might show up.

I mean, I have no idea. I literally haven't said a word to him since like like, freshman. No, sophomore year of high school. So. You what since sophomore year of high school? I haven't said a word since the sophomore year of high school when he was in my English class and we had to be partnered and it was awful.

That was the last time you spoke to him. I wrote you every day for you. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh my god. That's so sweet. I have to say, no matter what this machine says to you, I think he missed his chance.

I think that I agree with Bowen that you'll meet someone else. Oh, for sure. Did you just move to the city? Did you grow up here? Yeah, I go to school around here. Oh, great. Oh my god. I want you to know there's actually a lot of single straight guys here tonight. Totally. Oh, I bet.

Okay, we have a cue. I think we all believe in you and we want to thank you so much for speaking. I still have feelings for someone I met 10 years ago and one time I saw them at Zara. Was that helpful? Zara. She saw them at Zara. Was that helpful? Zara. She saw them at Zara. Is that helpful? That is so helpful.

Thank you so much. Thank you so much for singing culture. Oh, that's so sweet. So sweet. A few more. Yay. Hello. Hello.

Hi. How are you all? Amazing. I've been laughing so hard and now I climbed all the way down from the balcony down here to ask this question thank you thank you bring word back to your community that we love you

she's a girl's girl so I think maybe I'm trying to like black out when it happened but I think maybe a month and a half ago I got stood up. Oh, I'm sorry. So insane.

Thank you. So insane. And I just want to know. So 90s. So 90s. Right? It's like very like movie, like sitcom wouldn't ever happen in real life,

but then it did. Very loud. So I want to know if you guys can help me find out what happened to him. Was it a first date? No, it was our third date. Okay, so maybe, did you check in and say like, are you okay? I know, I checked Gothamist, I checked like a lot of things to make sure he was actually alive. But he is because he's sending Venmo transactions.

Smart, smart, you're very smart. You're very smart, You're very smart. You're very smart. You're very smart. That is the real tea. That is the real tea. That was the real tea. And he's not, and he's not mentoring people

for like surgery for my car accident. No, rent, rent, utilities, Wi-Fi, the usual. the usual yeah okay so i think that what you should do is you should show up at his house or his work i think you should i think you should go to his work i mean he works at salesforce he works at salesforce to ask where the anyway let me let me stop let me wait what was the vibe on the first two dates? Was this surprising to you? Yes, it was extremely surprising to me.

He also, he was like a nice person. He portrayed himself as a good person. He works at the soup kitchen every Saturday. Oh, that's what he told you, bitch. So that's what men do. I know, right? Like, what the fuck? That's what they do. That's what they do.

They lie. Men lie. No one works at a soup kitchen. No one works at a soup kitchen. They don't exist. They're myths. I don't know. One time a guy told me he was a pediatrician and he's lying. There's no doctors for kids. There's doctors.

It was very surprising. Our first two dates were honestly I think maybe I am maybe too intense of a person. I think. No. No. You seem very good. I feel like I'm not that intense. But we. You are perfect.

Oh, thank you. You're perfect too, girl. You didn't fucking deserve that at all. Thank you. I was standing outside of the Garrett. Of where? The Garrett. It's like where the Five Guys is.

Oh, yeah. There's like a secret did you get five guys i did i left with my bag of fries but yeah it was very it was strange it was very surprising and i just i don't know where he could have happened to he he was like i love five guys i know i love five guys too it was strange but But I don't know. For something like that to happen, and for you to try to rationalize it, it's completely irrational to do. So I wouldn't try to trace it back to what you did.

It's not you. I promise it's not you. It's definitely him being an illogical, probably crazy person who works at a soup kitchen? No. I have an idea. I think that you should Venmo him $15. Yes!

Listen! And be like, this is a ticket to the Garrett. Get there whenever you can. A cancellation fee, an invoice. I've heard of doing that. It feels a little distant, though. It happened like almost a month ago. $15 for my time.

Oh, Venmo request. Catherine's saying Venmo request. I think you should Venmo pay him $6,000 for a year of therapy. Be like for the soup kitchen fund. I should, honestly. Sorry. No, I said I should, honestly no I said I should honestly I should have since

well you should definitely like one of his Venmo payments right it's just enough it's just passive aggressive enough yeah are the Venmo captions even funny

no of course not it's like the obvious thing he sounds like a fucking waste but can I ask you something can I ask you something this will really inform if this guy's even worth the air we breathe.

Are the Venmo payments not funny in that, like, they're not even trying to be funny? It's just like, a sandwich. Or is it like, he's trying to be funny and it's not? No, they're literal. They're exactly what they are. I'm on your side, 1000%, but that is erotic to me.

When someone's like, yeah, yeah, this is what I'm paying you for, and I have nothing comedic to say about that. It is what it is. I'm like, raise my kids. Don't make me feel We all agree, this can be solved on Venmo. Thank you so much for seeking culture. Thank you.

I think we can get through everyone here if it's super quick. If I know us four, it'll be super quick. Absolutely. So my first question is why everyone has regular Red Bull and not sugar-free. It's kind of worrisome. Oh, they ran out.

Seems like a problem. Can you not hear me? He's calling us out for only having regular Red Bull and not sugar-free. But what you need to know, actually, is that we had all sugar-free before, and there was no more. Yeah. Okay. So my question is, let's say I work with someone named, let's say, Bob.

And Bob has a boyfriend that's, let's say, named Jim. And Jim has been hitting me up on dating apps. Ooh. What is the move there? Are you friends with Bob? We are work friendly but not in the way where like we text

outside of work. And obviously is Jim hot would be the other question. Yeah. I mean I would definitely sleep with Jim and then bring it to Bob as like a fun story.

Yeah and that's kind of speaks to Catherine's ethos of kind of collecting stories to tell. They seem open. They're open though. Do you know? So no. No. And TBD, it doesn't seem like the person I work with knows that they are open if they

are. So no. Many would call that not open. We call that not open. And he's also, the person I work with is moving to California to be with this boyfriend who's cheating on him. Who is what? Who's Jim?

Who's like maybe cheating on him. Okay, so this sounds like a fucking mess and I think you should get all new friends. Get a new job. Wait, Jim lives here, but he's moving to California, and Bob? Bob lives here.

But Jim is hitting you up on dating apps from California? He's like back and forth. People who are bi-coastal who already have a fucking boyfriend who try to dip a chip into different bowls. Like you can't have both coasts and a boyfriend. Exactly. And beyond dating. That's the rule of culture.

Actually, that's the rule of culture. Number 30. You can't have both coasts and a boyfriend. East coast, West coast, a boyfriend pick two. Yeah.

Um, wait, yeah, I, I wouldn't touch it. Don't engage with it. I mean, are you asking? Well, I guess my question isn't should I? What'd you say? Sorry, sorry, sorry. Catherine's weighing in. Go. Obviously, East Coast and boyfriend.

Oh, yes. I disagree. Obviously. Oh, for me, East Coast boyfriend. East Coast boyfriend. I would say West Coast boyfriend. My question isn't whether or not I should sleep with the boyfriend, because obviously I would do that.

My question is, should I tell the person I work with? Oh, that's your question? Sweetheart? Should I let him know that his boyfriend's, you know... You're like, should I tell the person I work with I fucked his boyfriend? Can I tell the person I work with I fucked his boyfriend? Can I say something? I think it depends such on the nuance of your relationship with Bob

and if you care if he lives or dies. When he moves to California, will that be good for his career? Is he an actor? Ultimately is the question again. Also, I think you need to stop thinking about this because the more you think about it, the hotter it's going to feel between you and this guy and it's

going to become unbearable and you're going to fuck him, sweetie. I feel like don't be a randomista. Don't get in their business. Don't be a randomista. Don't be a randomista. Don't get in their business.

And thank you so much for speaking to us. Thank you. Ooh, a couple more. Hello, queen. Hello. Hi. So I know you said you wanted this to be short, but my friend's kind of in a complex situation.

Okay, go for it. He might be in this room even, actually. But, so he started seeing this guy, and he makes phallic sculptures. He makes valet sculptures? Phallic. He makes phallic sculptures, not

valet soldiers. Great. Help, I'm in a sitcom. Help, I'm in a sitcom, she said. Phallic sculpture. It sounds like it would be in a sitcom, but it's real life. He's a really nice guy. I've met him.

Okay. But there's this other situation where he had a summer fling, and this boy started texting him again, and he's unsure whether he should open that can of worms. Well, is the only bad, not even bad, is the only thing about him that gives you concern that he's a phallic sculptor?

I mean, is it concerning? Not to me. I once had a huge crush on someone who I once had a huge crush on someone that did extremely erotic tattoos not the same I mean don't

I do have a question which is that are you involved in this situation no I'm not but you've been sent here as a proxy yes so this gentleman that's here is dating someone who's a phallic sculptor. However, the fling from the summer is now appearing

and he wants her. You want to know if you should open that can of worms. Precisely. Okay. Sorry, just to clarify. The phallic sculptor is from the summer and now he's coming back? No, no, no. The phallic sculptor is right now. He is a fall.

He's the fall thing. So there's two guys. Fall fling, summer fling. Oh, cool. But another layer to this is that the fall fling, so we go to school. Sculptor's vagina.

We go to. So the fall fling is local and the summer fling would have to be long distance. Okay, so not that. Yeah. Is he exclusive with the sculptor? The fall sculptor?

Not my place to say. I would say, bitch, winter is coming. Yeah. I would love to be exclusive with a sculptor maybe I can hook you guys up what say you Bo and Yang

this sounds so manifold and crazy and I'm sorry I'm using terrible words I think yeah open that can of worms in terms of like confronting him about this guy who's texting him again

yes in terms of becoming romantically involved again with summer boy how good was it with summer boy was it good where are you what are you waiting for if he wants to expose himself, I will not expose him.

I think that he should, wherever you are, if you can hear me right now, I think you should... I say, East Coast boyfriend, stay with the fall sculptor. Oh, my God. Pin drop.

Thank you. Pin drop. No, no, no. That was good. And we want to thank you and this person for seeking culture. And I want to give my friend Julia a shout out because she loves you guys so much.

And she's been waiting like for the month since we've had these tickets. She's been excited every single day. Oh, thank you. Hi, Julia. Thanks, Julia. Hi, Julia. Thank you. Thank you for the question.

Oh, my God. Okay. Yes. Hello. Go ahead. Sorry. So I recently matched with someone on Hinge while in New York. Yes. He's not from New York. He's living in Chicago, moving to LA. We start talking. A few weeks ago,

I go to Elle, which is famously part of New York City, and I go camping with him in Joshua Tree. Not a popular decision amongst my friends whatsoever. So I was told, you may be killed. You may not come back to us. And they were all very concerned. I do it anyway. It was great. We hit it off, had the best time. I'm going to Chicago this week to see him again.

Plot twist, he's non-monog. I don't know. First time, don't know. And I guess I am looking for advice. Like, do I keep doing this? He's not going to kill me. We talk pretty regularly. Okay.

So do you think it would bother you to be in a non-monog situation? Right now, and he's in l i have no problem he's so far away and but if you're in the same city like you think that would bum you out i don't know i think you should say when we get in the same city we'll reassess you also you're saying where it's like new york la chicago i have to ask, Chicago. I have to ask, is he an actor? Is he a what? Is he an actor? Is he a comedian? No, he's like tech startup.

Oh, cool. He's a startup. He's like a startup. He does like the, I don't know. He sets up small companies to be successful. I think, yeah. Aren't we all startups in a way? I'm Australian now aren't we all startups in a way

I think keep seeing him until it feels bad yeah fair fair fair that's how it always works this has this has too many layers in a way. I think keep seeing him until it feels bad. Yeah. Fair, fair, fair. That's how it always works. This has too many layers. And then do it just a bit longer.

Thank you. Thank you for speaking culture. We're going to do speed rounds so we can get through everyone. Speed round. Great, great, great. Hi. Hi, girl. So this're going to do speed rounds so we can get through everyone. Speed rounds. Hi. So this is going to be for Catherine. One for me, one for Pat, one for Bud.

Love it. Great. Oh, shit. So I was in high school. I had a boyfriend. We dated. Great. I went off to college. Didn't speak to him for three years. I'm now a senior. And I got this message from his now girlfriend,

and I have no idea what it means. Context, my freshman year, I was on Facebook looking at his account, and there was a picture of this girl next to him, and she's sitting, and her skirt like was sort of pulled up and her legs were together and it looked like her vagina was on the internet and so I like messaged him I guess I don't really remember this was three years ago and so she messages me this from his Facebook account okay and I haven't talked to him three years she goes hey Sally that's me I needed to let this out even though it's been three years since it has happened but I need this to have a closure FYI this is Dylan's GF whose vagina was on Facebook were you

yeah yeah were you were you a dumbass or needed glasses because of your miserable soul back needed an outlet whatever fucked up shit happened to you. You felt like you had the right to comment about someone you didn't even know, just letting you know so that you can reflect on yourself and your words, so that you won't do that to someone else in the future, sending you prayers that you will learn self-love. Yeah. So that you won't be so toxic to other people. Yeah, so, like, what's that mean?

What's that mean? Catherine. Sally, this girl needs so much treatment. Ignore, ignore, ignore, never change. Ignore her. Ignore her. Ignore her. Oh, yeah, don't engage.

You don't have to respond. No, she's sick. Yeah. That's bad. Oh, God. Or answer her question. Are you a dumbass or do you need help? And if it was me, I'd be like,

amazing to meet you digitally. I am a dumbass. But I have to be honest about the fact that I've seen your vagina on Facebook.com. Yeah. That's it, Alex. That's perfect. Hold on. One more thought from Kat.

Anyone who uses Facebook is spiritually sick and needs golf. Thank you for singing, Culture. Thank you, Sally. Wow. Okay. This is Matt's protege. Thank you, Sally. Wow. Okay. This is math protege. Math protege. I'll try and be really fast.

Okay. So, outline. Really fast. Bullet point. I'm best friends with this guy. Yeah. He has a serious girlfriend. While he has a girlfriend, we accidentally kind of fall in love.

Okay. Accidentally in love. Accidentally. It's a Counting Crows song. So we know exactly what you mean. He breaks up with his girlfriend. Yeah. After they break up, we all go out drinking together.

And he and I spontaneously decide to get a hotel room together. Okay. To what? To what? To get a hotel room together. Okay. To what? To what? To get a hotel room together. Oh, my God. They were broken up. They're broken up.

Okay. A week later, I find out that he's talking to his girlfriend again and they're probably going to get back together. Is he a scumbag or is he just confused? I got to be honest with you, he's a scumbag. Okay. But are you mad? Am I mad about which

part? You don't even seem that bothered. You look fucking cute. You're out of the show. There's 400 straight men in this audience. There's so many straight guys here who are fucking ready to absolutely mingle and crush and slam. I just said a dog whistle,

which was counting crows. They're so fucking horny right now. All the straight guys in here are so hard. I said counting crows, and you could hear the dicks rise. Cheer if you're a straight guy. Cheer if you're a straight guy. If you're a straight guy if you're a straight guy cheer are you oh my god thank you so much thank you for speaking culture thank you so much straight man this question is for pat hi i'm so glad i got you are you glad you got me

i think we showed in the voice where we all turn our chairs on and when we hear a question we want to advise on, we turn around. Oh, that's for next show. Next show we're doing the voice. I'm sorry, this is your moment. You have the floor. Okay, so last year I unfortunately tested positive for HIV and I, immediately

after I went on my apps and changed my status because I'm honest. And within a couple of days of doing that, I started getting solicitations. Yeah. And the issue I'm having is, you know, some of these guys are kind of hot.

Like, I probably wouldn't get them in a million years. Yeah. And some of them offered me money. Okay. Are they like bug chasers, basically? Yes. They're negative, but... I get these every... I get two of them a week.

That's crazy. Oh, my God. How does that make you feel? I don't know how to feel about it. Like, it's... I try to be nonjudgmental about people's sexual interests, but I'm always sitting there typing to them, why?

You know what I would do? It's impossible to know because that's such a unique situation. I think that, for one, I think you should just take a break from it until you understand your relationship with what your your situation is and then when you know how to even feel about it you can start dealing with it again if you want to but i think like even the fact that you're a little confused about how you feel about it and it's such a sensitive thing i would just block it out for a little bit till you have some more clarity yeah all right yeah thank you thank you last one hi hi guys before i start can i take a selfie with you yeah Thank you. You look amazing.

Thank you. You so did you. What if I said no? Okay, so you all might be unqualified to answer this. Okay. Kat might be the most thanks for coming Kat might be the most qualified

because she was B for a little bit on New Year's Eve she was what? B so you're B you're B in theory

not in practice she was open to it. So I am B, and I'm recently out of a relationship, a long-term relationship with a man, and I want to casually date women, but all of the lesbians in New York love monogamy. So I need advice on how to find a casual female lover. I literally see a raised hand and someone...

I know that's not the only hoony lesbian up in here tonight. I mean, congratulations on being a, yeah, this is not pejorative. A slutty bi person. That's beautiful. The world's your oyster. I,

they love monogamy, but that doesn't preclude you from, like, having sex with them and then not paying attention to them afterwards. Right? It is so lesbian of you to take into account their feelings this much. Oh, my God. I mean, people get away with it all the time,

and for you, as a queer woman to exercise that revolutionary, I say do it. Break as many hearts as you want. And then go talk to her! It's also not your problem that they didn't understand when you say

that you're like, just fuck him. And just be up front, just like, hey, I just got out of a relationship with this dude and I think I'm just I think I just want to do a fun little tour and that's it, you know? Yeah, I keep getting friend-zoned when I say that.

Really? After you hook up, though? Oh. Just don't bring it up until after you guys hook up. Bowen! Oh my god. I stand after you guys are done. Bowen! Oh my God. I stand with you, Bowen. You're a truth teller.

Thank you. There's nothing like unethical about that. Unless they say before you wake up, do you want a relationship? And you're like, I can't tell you for 45 minutes. Wow, that's long. That's long. That's long.

Well, I think that's it. That's my honest That's not long. Well, I think that's it. That's my honest answer. Literally. So have less of a conscience. What's that? So have less of a conscience. Yeah, sure. Who cares?

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you for sticking culture. Okay, I think this is the time of the night where we bring on a guest. We bring a guest on stage. and they're gonna give us advice because we we we in our first act we didn't really we explored each other's diseases but no one really ever gave us or conferred upon us any advice so you could almost say we we didn't accomplish anything in the first section so at this time we are going to be welcoming to the stage a very special guest of ours

that's going to give us some advice and give you all advice, really, truly, by proxy. He is a Tony Award winning actor. He was just in the Netflix show, The Politician. He's just a lovely, lovely person. Please welcome to the stage, Ben Platt. Ben Platt! Ben Platt! There's Ben, there's Ben.

Mr. Bad. Oh my god! Ben Platt! Oh my God. A throne even. ID is Ben Platt. Wow. I just want to say that I feel really at home

because we are in a house of Jewish worship. Yes. But at the same time, I feel really sad because if this was an Orthodox house of worship, all the women would have to sit up there. I know. Ladies. And I don't like that.

Ladies, come down from there. Ladies, come down from there! Ladies, get down from there. It's 2019. Well, I guess before we really get into it, are you seeking treatment or seeking culture for anything? You know what? Yes. Okay. It's a mutual jerk. Yes.

Sure. I mean, it's kind of a weirdly specific thing that I'm, like, seeking. I'm in this, like, weird kind of moment where I, for the first time, have, like, some agency creatively. And I'm trying to figure out, like, how irresponsible it is

to purely only do things that, like, make me very happy and fulfilled as a person, but aren't necessarily, like, the smart moves to make, or to only be making the very smart moves that I'm expected to make by the people around me if they're not sort of as fulfilling to me as the, like, other stuff.

So I'm just trying to juggle those two worlds. So we'll just quickly give you career advice. Yeah. Yeah, because I want to be where you are. Catherine, your fingers aren't moving. Okay, Catherine's typing. Can there be a new accent? While she's going off, I feel like, hmm.

It's like, I'm trying to think, what if I were as talented as Ben Platt? What would I do? I think I would do literally anything I wanted because it doesn't matter. Because even if you were to do something that was a little off the beaten path or whatever, you could always come back and literally do anything you wanted because you're Ben Platt.

And I think too. You're in a unique position of being talented at everything. And I think, well, it depends whose career you want. I think you look at other people's careers. Like, for me, I would, like, when I think about, like, a career I want, like, Amy Sedaris

is so appealing, because it feels like she truly does whatever she wants. You are our Amy Sedaris. Jerry. He's a combination of David Sedaris and Amy Sedaris. Let me be Amy. Let me be Amy. No, you're not Amy. He's wrong. He's talented, but that was wrong.

I think it sounds fun to be able to pay rent in a nice place, but then also be quirky for once. But is it an either-or situation, purely? Or is it like a... I'm trying to think of a good example. Is it like a Natalie Portman who does one for you, one for me, alternating? Is it an option to do a Marvel movie every four years? Yeah. years yeah when marvel calls me i'll let you know but it hasn't happened

is that an option though where like you like do one thing that's like fulfilling for you and then you just you you set some pattern around it i think yeah i think so i think that the thing i keep running into is that when i say the thing i love the thing fills me up whatever usually i mean theater and musical theater and yeah that requires like at least like a six, seven month situation. So I'm just trying to like not, you know, be an idiot, but also like do what I love. Yeah. Anyway.

Do you feel like, yeah, well, Catherine has a whole thing. Oh my God. I'm so excited. Here we go. Thanks for asking Ben Platt my adv is to do whatever you want whenever you want to do it that's what i do and now i'm typing on a computer near some of my best friends on stage in brooklyn anything is possible that being said musical theater is life ruining. Mixed messaging.

Thank you. Yeah. Is there anything that you want to do that's absolutely freaky? If you told us right now, we would be like, Oh! Is that legal? No, I wish not really I mean do you have any suggestions but no

normal things I thought you were like like I don't know like sometimes do you guys remember on American Idol season one do you guys remember Ryan Starr okay do you remember when he's here he's Ryan get up I'll see him Do you guys remember Ryan Starr? Uh-huh. Okay. Do you remember when... He's already here.

He's... Ryan, get upstairs. I'll see him. It's a she, you stupid bitch. Oh, yeah. Her name was Ryan with two N's, Starr with two R's. And do you remember when she...

She did the first few weeks and Simon Cowell said to her, you could be Britney Spears. And then she came out and she sang, yeah, you really got me now. And she did it like that. She did it, and she got out. So what I'm saying is, don't take risks.

Be Britney Spears, or else you're going to be Ryan Starr, and you're going to be shooting up in bed because your face finally flushed because some fag said your name in Brooklyn tonight. Just kidding, Take risks. It's me, Ryan Stark. It's me, Ryan Stark. It's Ryan Stark. Anyway.

Ben, I think you've already... I think this is going off what Matt was saying earlier, but maybe it's adding this extra thing where I think you've already established yourself in a very, very, very, very, very good way, an impressive way. And I think you can't stray too far

from that center. I mean, no matter how far off you veer, that's always going to be accessible to you. Just keep, just do what you want, and then if it feels wrong, then you just change course. Yeah, or I think something about my gorgeous human brain which say it with me belongs in a trash pail um i think the idea of like if i

was if i was you i wake up one day i'm like okay i'm randomly ben platt i would um and someone and someone like even bowen yang was, don't stray from the course. Like, that would make me, I would be like, actually, like, I'm going to do something psychotic. You know what I mean? I was saying he can stray from the course. Right. Yeah. Right, right.

But you'll end up back on some, like, random, like, it'll all look, looking back, it'll all make sense. I think there's, like, one thing you, like, really want to do that you should do it. But if it's, like, nothing and it just would be to be random then don't noted okay thanks you guys yeah don't be a randomista um ben do you have advice for us please be as candid as you can can i get like an area or like a question or like what you're like i don't know yeah should i have children here's the thing given what you said before, I feel like I could get into some legal trouble for saying yes. I know.

I think you'd be a wonderful dad. From the little that I know. Can I tell you something? One of the things that is a weird thing I think about sometimes is I actually do feel like I know I would be a good father. I know that there's kids out there that like

need a dad and so and some of my best friends are adopted and so I just feel like it kind of makes me feel like why would I not if I'm able to and capable of doing it why would I not give a child a loving home and I know that like with the way that I feel about the things I care about I know I would come I would obviously commit to being a father like you can't just be a father and it's like well this is my Tuesday through Wednesday thing um but it's it is like it is but it a thing, and it's like, he said he didn't want children, and I was like, oh, and I was like, well, I don't want kids either. But then it's like, is that a selfish way to think?

And then ultimately, am I like a selfish person? Blah, blah, blah. I don't think I would have like a natural child, because... Because you're gay, and we aren't rats. Yeah. Yeah. What? Would I have a child with you? Yeah.

Would I have a child with you? Yes, Kel-Mwa. Or name your child Kel-Mwa. So, I don't know. It's interesting to think about. Ben, would you have a child with Catherine? I would, but I have to have one with Beanie Feldstein first.

Yeah. Beanie first, and then you. Get in line, Cohen. Do you want children? Here's the thing. Really, really badly, and I always have, and the only thing I've known that I've wanted to do besides sing around and be on people's stages

is be a father, but now I feel like a deep existential terror of can I bring a child into a world that is slowly ending? I know, that's a thing. But you wouldn't be bringing it in. I feel like gay men are in a position where it's like, it's almost a gift to be able to adopt a child because there's so many children in the world who need families.

That is true. So hopefully, yeah. Maybe. Can we get that in writing? Catherine has a question should I get a boyfriend and how do I get my voice back the first part was should I what should I have a boyfriend

should I get a boyfriend should she get a boyfriend and how do I get my voice back only if it's like undeniable you should get a boyfriend I feel like if you wake up in the morning feeling anything other than all I want to do is be with this person then like no need should get a boyfriend. I feel like if you wake up in the morning feeling anything other than all I want to do is be with this person, then no need

to have a boyfriend. I'm trying myself also to get more comfy in the grey area. So I think live in that area until your heart is saying, uh-uh, honey, no more living in the grey area. And then about your voice, I mean, get a good ENT. We talked a little bit about who your ENT is. I've never heard of him,

but he sounds lovely. If there's one thing I know, it's my ENT. I spend more time there than anywhere else. He lives around the corner from me. A lot of water, a lot of quiet. What you're doing now is amazing. And the fact that you have the talents and faculties to still be incredible without your voice is amazing. Catherine almost wasn't going to come, and we were like, come.

They would have been so mad if you didn't come. And enjoy this time of silence. I had to be silent for a couple weeks because of a very similar thing. I had a polyp, and I found that I observed things about my friends and family that I had never noticed before because I couldn't be opening my mouth all the time. Thank you, I feel very connected. And Manuka honey. Yes, Manuka honey. That's correct.

It's very good for you. Ben, what do I do about seeking out, like, specifically bad, like, negative feedback about myself. You want it? Well, no, it's not that I want it, but it's just that, like, it's, it's like... This I can't help you with because I'm the same way. Like, if I read, like, ten things and one of them is bad, the only thing I think about is the bad one, and I look for more like that.

Like, when The Politician came out and I was reading, like, some people saying things all over online, and then one person was like, that guy looks dirty, he's not in high school. And then, and then I literally searched in Twitter like Ben Platt too old and just like anything else anyone said. And someone who is five years older than Ben Platt, I feel like those comments are pejorative to me.

You're ageless. Stop that. Right now. But I think it's in our nature somehow to want to know. I think I always want to have the information rather than to imagine what the information could be because it's always worse. Whatever I imagine in my head is always worse than the reality, even if the reality is, like, shitty. Yep.

But if you're, so if we're already doing this, then, like, what is your coping mechanism around this now? Because I don't know how to, like, I think I'm just getting a thicker skin and that's good, but I'm also, like, but I still think about it constantly. Here's my, like, coping also like, but I still think about it constantly. Here's my like, um, coping,

like healthy coping mechanism. It's just like a, like really paying attention to the nice things. And also the people that I actually, who's, who are in my life and whose opinions I really do value. And my friends who will like tell me the truth and be like, that was shitty.

Or like, that was beautiful. And like really tell me to my face. And then the bad coping mechanism is that I'll look at whoever's account. It was, that was mean. And I'll find out that they're either not very intelligent or they love Trump there you go yeah beautiful yeah he um I don't know how do I um stop right now so I'm gonna be really vulnerable

right now because they can be if we can have um all the uh everyone pass out some tissues that would be amazing I don't know I I've been freaking out lately about my physical appearance because my belt wouldn't fit even this night that we are in. And I just want to devote less emotional energy. It's been like a lifelong fucking struggle to like, and it's so weirdly tied up in gay. I don't know if you've ever heard of it. And I just don't know where it began or how to get,

like every time I think I'm doing better with it, I'm like, oh my God, I've only like beaten the shit out of myself in my head for how I look for the past like 36 hours. And I don't know how to stop. And my therapist is named Daniel and he only sometimes is helpful. And whenever I say a question to him, he says,

I asked if he watched Real Housewives and you're going to get a load of this. He goes, what do you think if I watch Real Housewives? And I was like, I don't know, Daniel. I'm trying to be a human for once. So answer to all of that. I mean,

all I can say, I think, is that I see you and that I feel the same way and then I have the same experience and that body dysmorphia is so real and that like from where I'm sitting you're very beautiful and very handsome and I know that means nothing because that's the response that you get when you ask something like that and I feel the same way and I feel like I dissect my appearance as well particularly because I'm like on camera and things like that and like pictures and like i think i do digital stuff my face i i'm on the web yeah no i know we have podcasts don't i know it but i mean because then the voice comes in where it's like it's like of course ben platt's gonna say that we're on a stage in front of seven hundo like he would have to be

a true psychopath to be like you know what I mean like those voices all keep undermining everything you think and then you're like oh my god it's literally two hours later and um I'm late to murmur and Bowen Young is gonna be mad at me when I get there but whatever it's just I don't know how to make the voices stop I'm on Prozac to try to make me stop lifting up my shirt in public and uh it doesn't I have a joke in my setup where i say prozac is supposed to help with my body dysmorphia but i'm in a place where either prozac doesn't work or my body looks like this so um do you mean lifting up your shirt in public to like check yourself it's like a weird ocd where i i never thought i had ocd because i'm a slovenly pig who lives in filth but um i um have all these weird OCD things like

checking. Like I have to check all the time. Me too. Me too. All the time. After like I've eaten like a meal or something it's always like before I go to bed just like what's the status quo now? Like where are we at today? Which is awful but like it's when we have you know I mean I can't speak for like who you're sort of comparing yourself

to but for me it's like I look at like you know Timmy Chalamet and Lucas Hedges and all of these beautiful... Ansel Elgort. All these very beautiful, very boyish men. And you feel like either I need to be stacked or I need to be a pin. Right, yeah. And I just was running a lot, so I was like, okay, I guess we're going

with pin for the summer. But now... But then I hurt my foot, so I can't run, so I'm like, should I go for stacked? Like, should I pay Blink Fitness back the actually $300 I owe them? But yeah, it's one or the other. Like, the other day, I was talking to Catherine's lover, and he was like, well, how small are you trying to get? And I was like, it's not about small.

Like, it's like right now, I'm closer to pinned than stacked. So we should be small. But if I was trying to be stacked, then it's like, we don't have to pin than stacked, so we should be small. But if I was trying to be stacked, then it's like we don't have to be small, but we better have shoulders. I feel like the answer is that you and I should just go out and eat together. I feel like that's the answer for both of us.

I think so too. I would love that. Yeah. Do a lot of people feel like that? It honestly makes... Yes. Yeah, right? Oh my God.

Absolutely. I think probably every human being looks in the mirror and they're like well no and i honestly every day is hell in a cool way yeah but i always i always feel like no one's looking at you as closely as you were looking at totally and that's a good thing to remember you know know what? And Catherine knows my stance on this is whenever you're like, I think that person hates me and everyone's like, no one's thinking about you as much as you are.

I'm like, I spend my entire day thinking about other people and if I hate them or not. So it's like, yeah. Okay, so invalidate me, bitch. Absolutely cut me off

with the dang knees. I think that's just something people say. One time, one time someone told me that, gave me that advice, and then we went on the next second to talk about how this girl was being annoying with her dog in the place we just were. And I was like,

someone's telling that girl right now that no one's thinking about her with their dog, and they're wrong. They're wrong. People are thinking about you. I'm sorry. It's an ugly truth. Everyone's thinking about you. All the time. Okay, but specifically this stuff, though. I think this is probably all pseudoscience stuff,

like armchair analysis nonsense, but I think limbic brain stuff, where it's just lizard brain stuff that's just telling you that you're worth... This is like Martha Beck, kind of, right? So Bone is pointing towards Tammy Sager in the front row. World-renowned psychotherapist. Is this kind of, right? So Bone is pointing towards Tammy Sager in the front row. World-renowned psychotherapist. Is this

like kind of Martha Becky where she's like literally draw out a little tiny lizard and that is your lizard brain feeding you disgusting thoughts throughout your day about yourself. Name it. Draw it. Characterize it. You cannot take it seriously.

And then it's perched on your shoulder, like, whispering, like, shitty things to you all day, and you literally just, like, brush it off as often as you can, because there's no use in, like, holding on to it. This is actually anti-Joan Didion. There's no use in holding on to it and examining it.

It's actually, you just brush it off. There's no function in, like, holding, and this is Brene Brown stuff, where it's, like, There's no function in holding, and this is Brene Brown stuff, where it's like there's no use in people are going to fling shit at you from the cheap seats all the time, and there's no use in picking it up and looking at the shit.

Don't even let it hit you, and when it does, just let it slide off. There's no use in just picking it up. That's the medicine for your own disease. But that's so interesting about lizard because I told Catherine the other day in a car race that if a genie gave me three wishes, one of my wishes would be

that lizards didn't exist. Because I hate lizards. You would say that about lizards and not snakes? You're fucking wacko. If I had to pick one to not exist, it would be lizards. And now it's a lizard brain. Can I just ask an irrelevant question because I always wanted to ask. I know two of the answers because I got to pick one to not exist, it would be lizard. Is it now to lizard brain? Can I just ask an irrelevant question because I always wanted to ask. I know two of the answers because I got to

find out earlier today, but what are Kat and Pat's Hogwarts houses and how do you know? Yeah, Kat, do you want to? Mine, I think I can be a Slytherin for sure. Then I have like Ravenclaw because I'm so quick.

So it's hard. I think the one that I know that I'm not is Gryffindor, and I'm okay with that. I only say Hufflepuff because I am gay. But besides that, I think it's like, shorting it out would be like Ravenclaw is Slytherin, Ravenclaw is Slytherin. I think ultimately Ravenclaw. I would agree. Cool. You think he's a Ravenclaw or Slytherin, Ravenclaw or Slytherin. I think ultimately Ravenclaw.

I would agree. Cool. You think he's a Ravenclaw? Yes. If those are my two options, yes. Sorry, I am a Hufflepuff and my Slytherin just came out. And it's in there. Oh my god.

Wait, what? I think I'm a Hufflepuff. Ben is a Hufflepuff. You're a Hufflepuff? Hardcore. People think that Slytherin means you're mean. It means you're ambitious. Ambitious, loyalty, bravery.

Cunning. Cunning, yes. ambitious. Ambitious, loyalty, bravery, cunning. I think I'm Griff. What? Catherine says, I think I'm Griff. I would say you have Griff energy. Being a Leo is very Gryffindor. And Scorpio.

What do they say? What does the audience say about Catherine? Everyone shout out the signs that you think everyone is. Catherine. and Scorpio. What do they say? What does the audience say about Catherine? Everyone shout out the signs that you think everyone is. Catherine. Matt. Okay. Pat. Oh my God, Slytherin.

Okay, I take that. Bowen. Ravenclaw. Wow, are we the four houses? Oh my God. Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Slytherin, Ravenclaw. Wow, are we the four houses? Oh my God. Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Slytherin, Ravenclaw? Wow! Wow!

Gorgeous. Gorgeous. That's amazing. That's actually amazing. And Ben is our headmaster who is not Dumbledore because Dumbledore was Dumbledore. I can feel God in here tonight. I can feel God in here tonight

that's like reminiscent of when I said is one of your friends named Joe she's beautiful she's beautiful she is beautiful I think wait hold on wait I feel psychotic about something

that I've been dating someone for five months and I was like what about kids what the fuck is that? Yeah, that was kind of what we were all thinking. Don't worry. I feel like a lesbian. Oh. Okay.

They move so fast. I do that. I move very fast. Me too. I'm a Charlotte. What'd you say? I'm a Charlotte for like a Sex and the City Charlotte. I am a Charlotte. I want to pick out I'm a Charlotte for like a Sex and the City Charlotte. I am a Charlotte.

I want to pick out the China right away. You move fast? Very. That's what I'm trying to not do now. You're trying to stay in gray zone. Sorry? You're trying to stay in gray zone right now. Exactly.

And you're already Jewish, so that's fine. Exactly. Do you want to know? Yeah. Everybody in my family has been married so far in order and like had children in order. I'm talking like extended family cousins. Like if you line them up by age, it's literally gone like in order. So like I better hurry up.

Yeah. Oh my God. When was your last relish? Oh my goodness. My last like proper relish ended like in like summer of last year. Cool. And it was a long distance situation with an Australian person. So very long distance.

You don't get longer than that. No, you don't. Me and Catherine get very angry when someone buries the lead. And having an Australian lover is the lead. You know what the thing is about Charlottes? The reason they're so Charlotte is because they have a side

of them that's Samantha. And they're scared of their Samantha side. Are you identifying with this? Very much so, yeah. There you go, bitch. And that's why I'm like, I should have kids! Because the Samantha in me is like, ha! For some reason, I thought you were going to say,

the Charlottes know that they have a side ponytail. I was like, I've never seen that. I did think it was about hair. I wish I could do a side ponytail. I was like, I've never seen that. I did think it was about hair. I wish I could do a side ponytail. Oh my God, what I would give to wear my hair a high. I had my nails painted for Halloween and it's the first time I've had color on my nails and now

I never want to not have color on my nails. I loved it. My toenails are currently teal. Really? Yes. Show for wiki feet. Should I do it for wiki feet? Do it for wiki feet. I'm going to show my foot. No, I'm not. No.

Who here's a little piggy freak? You love little piggies? No, she doesn't. She's doing side pony. She's doing side pony. Oh my god, NBR. This town. This town. This town.

This town. Anyway, I'm so happy we found out our real houses. Yes. And I love me with black nails. It's really fun. And it makes me not bite my nails, which is amazing. Yes. Me too.

I bite a lot. It's bad. These people stand that. Having colored nails keeps you from biting them. Absolutely. These people stan that. Having colored nails keeps you from biting them. And that's why. One day at a time, babe. It's one of those dog cones

of cosmetics. Yeah, it is. Well, I think it's time for us to really close out the show with something that could be beautiful, it could be a disaster, it could be both. And I think we're time for us to really close out the show with something that could be beautiful. It could be a disaster. It could be both. Yeah.

And I think we're going to sing a song to Ben Platt. We're going to sing a song to Ben. I just want to say thank you for accepting that in a machine now. You're welcome. Hey, listen. Thanks for coming to Seek Culture Live. This was really fun.

And thank you, Ben Platt, for being our esteemed Tony-winning guest who can do whatever project he wants because he has longevity in this town. She's got longevity. This show tonight was really about people coming together and about two podcasts

coming together. So this is a song that really explores that theme. Sure does. And Justin, are we ready? Let's hit it. This is a song called To Become One. Scary spice. ginger spice, sporty spice, posh spice, baby spice. In my soul forever, dream of you and me together.

Say you believe it. Say you believe it. Say you believe it. Free your mind of doubt and danger. Be for real, don't be a stranger. We can achieve it. We can achieve it. Come a little bit closer, baby. Get it on, get it on. Baby, come a little bit closer, baby.

Get it on, get it on. Tonight is the night when two become one. I need some love like I've never needed love before. I want to make love to you, baby. I had a little love, Now I'm back for more I want a big love to ya, baby Set your spirits free It's the only way to be In the games that you play in

Empty words we both use to say Let's work it out, boy Let's work it out, boy Use the stand. Are you as good as I remember, baby? Get it on, get it on Cause tonight is the night When two become one Oh, oh, oh, oh Wanna make love to you, baby Had a little love

Now I'm at four This is to sound so bad. Set your spirit free. It's the only way to be. Oh, yes. Everyone, check your own diseases. Oh, oh, oh. Check your own diseases. This is the, oh. Check your own diseases. This is the condom part.

Here we go. Be a little bit wiser, baby. Put it on, put it on. Because tonight is the night when two become one. Need some love like I never needed love before I wanna make love to you, baby I had a little love Now I'm back for more

I need some love I wanna make love to you I had a little love Now I'm back for more Cheerio, baby Set your spirit free It's the only way to be Ben Platt is here, everyone!

Thank you so much! My name is Bo and Yang I'm Matt Rogers I'm Matt Regan Good night, everybody! you so much. My name is Bo and I'm Matt Rogers. I'm Matt Regan. Good night, everybody! Forever Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit

foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team and liking our page on Facebook. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind-scenes stories, crazy details, and honestly, just having a blast talking football.

Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all times, from legends to our buddies to current stars. We're finally answering the age old question, what kind of dudes are these dudes? We're gonna find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Cheryl Swoops. And I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby.

And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women. And T and I have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby, an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One,

founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty, and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13

to being one of today's biggest artists. I was a desperate delusional dreamer. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Trust me, you won't want to miss this one.