Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - "Sexual Walkabout" (w/ Joel Kim Booster)

Episode Date: October 25, 2017

When the children sit around years from now and reflect back on their favorite episode of Las Culturistas, you will hear all sorts of "expected" responses: Rachel Bloom's "Wedding"! Pat Regan's "Nicolette"! Josh and Aaron's six hour long Drag Race episode! And sure, all the sheep will nod along. But there will be some, let us call them "the cool kids," who will pick their heads up knowingly and crow, "Joel Kim Booster's SECOND episode is the purest distillation of the Las Culturistas form!" That's right y'all: it's a CULT CLASSIC. Why? Well - Bowen, right back from Australia, is so jet lagged that he can barely keep it together (and yes, at one point Bo does claim to have a list of "divas" he loves, lists one "diva," and then groggily exclaims "Divas. Divas. I love Divas.") Matt tries to AGAIN relitigate a niche NYC show - which leads to Joel pointing out the magic of Las Culturistas: "the thing that I love about this podcast is that it is so alienating to viewers." And what about Joel himself? Well before you check out his new album MODEL MINORITY (coming very very soon!), check him on this ep talking about Sex in Seattle, Young Sheldon, Mandy Moore, Carrie Coon, Demi Lovato, musical theater auditions, and so much more. Did you buy your tickets to CULTCH WAR yet?? Did you buy your tickets to I DON'T THINK SO, HONEY yet??? What are you waiting for?? Much love to you all, HPJ "I'm your favorite animal" - Matt to Bo, when Bo said he likes KoalasLAS CULTURISTAS HAS A PATREON! For $5/month, you get exclusive access to WEEKLY Patreon-ONLY Las Culturistas content!!https://www.patreon.com/lasculturistasCONNECT W/ LAS CULTURISTAS ON FACEBOOK & TWITTER for the best in "I Don't Think So, Honey" action, updates on live shows, conversations with the Las Culturistas community, and behind-the scenes photos/videos:www.facebook.com/lasculturistastwitter.com/lasculturistasLAS CULTURISTAS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASThttp://foreverdogproductions.com/fdpn/podcasts/las-culturistas/ Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Real Housewives of New York City are back for another bite of the Big Apple. Look who it is. Joined by elite new friends. Rebecca Minkoff. Have you ever heard of her? But things could change in a New York Minute. She had this wild night and ended up getting pregnant by some other guy. What?

You told her? Not today, Satan. Not today. The Real Housewives of New York City. All new Tuesdays at 9 on Bravo or stream it on City TV+. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had.

We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. I was a desperate delusional dreamer. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind-the-scenes stories, crazy details, and honestly, just having a blast talking football. Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all times, from legends to our buddies to current stars.

We're finally answering the age-old question, what kind of dudes are these dudes? We're gonna find out Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to dudes on dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. On Thanksgiving Day

1999, five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home, and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami? Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey guys, coming up, we have a New York Comedy Festival show. It's called Cult War and I Don't Think So Honey Deathmatch. Team Matt versus Team Bowen. Ten people on each team fighting hard to see who can give the most amazing I Don't Think So Honeys. It's on November 7th. That's a Tuesday at 8.30 p.m. again for New York Comedy Festival. Tickets are available right now.

And then at the Brooklyn Podcast Festival on November 18th at 10 p.m., we have our third installment of I Don't Think So Honey live at the Bell House. We're so excited to finally perform there with a brand new roster of 50 comedians doing their amazing inaugural I Don't Think So Honey's live for a rabid crowd. We can't wait to see you there.

Ding dong, Las Culturistas calling. Let me tell you all, Matt Rogers, my co-host is currently straddling the back of his chair and what about it like a fucking backstreet boy or the Spice Girls in their live Istanbul show performing naked

yes you know what I'm talking about I'm so happy that you did that oh my god because I remember I had the VHS tape of the Spice Girls concert and there's one they're naked. Spoiler alert for those of you who haven't seen the Spice Girls tour VHS but they are naked

singing naked. And like the chairs, the backs of the chairs are covering their areola. And at one point Jerry who you know was the fastest of all of them. Fastest. Rises out of her chair a little bit and the amount of like. Areola. You don't see any areola.

You see the vagina? No, you see almost the areola. Okay. And I feel like that, for me, even as a confused eight-year-old boy. First of all, just a racy, crazy thing to see as a seven-year-old. Racy. Racy. Racy. Is one word for it, for sure.

You know, that reminds me of the time when I saw the trailer for Moulin Rouge the first time, and I turned to my mom and I said, I want to see that. And she said, no, no, that looks racy. Katrina. She was right. It was a racy film. But listen, I'm sitting like this because i feel it's more comfortable for me but the jury's out on that because i've been sitting only like this for a brief do you want

me to do you want me to like stall and fill in the time as you readjust or no because you know what you can do you know what i trust you to do while i readjust what give the credits okay but i will give the credits guys this is Las Culturistas history this is our first return guest on a recorded episode so Pat Regan famously is our

on a weird technicality our first return guest but this is our first return guest with a prior recorded episode to make it to air to make it to air so guys

as Beyonce would say this is a pivotal moment as Beyonce would say famously if you a pivotal moment. As Beyonce would say, famously. If you ever listen to the B-Day album, and you listen to Resentment, and then you let Resentment play through. All the time. And there's a pause.

All the time. And then it's a Beyonce spoken word intro to listen. And she says, I really wanted to do this next song, which I wrote for the film Dreamgirls, which, aka, we know she did not fully write that song. But anyway. And she says, this song is, well, it's a pivotal moment in the film, and it's just like she's reading off some cards. I mean, that's fine.

That's fine. It's totally fine. I was just quoting. Okay. Now do your job. So here are the credits, babe, as Matt readjusts his unsustainable posture on his chair. You guys, this is a true blue culturista.

He's one of our closest friends. He has, you will have just seen his half hour on Comedy Central. Fucking slayed the house down boots. Also, his album is coming out, Model Minority. It is so good. We were at both live recordings, baby. Yes. And he killed both recordings.

Honestly, excited to see which cuts made it from either night. I definitely was watching both nights saying, I wonder which cut. Me too, me too. And I feel like no matter what, people will be very satisfied. Very satisfied. Ha ha. Ha ha. And God, he's just otherwise prolific.

You've seen him on Conan. And you will see him on Conan. And you will see him on Conan, and you've seen him on Comedy Knockout. The list goes on. Guys, please welcome our friend, Joel Kim Booster. Oh, this is thrilling.

Okay. To be the first. That's right, Pat Regan, the first return guest. Now, Pat holds a real place in Las Culturistas, I guess, Okay To be the first That's right Pat Regan The first Return guest Now Pat holds a real Place in Las Culturistas I guess

Fan Not fandom What would you call it? Canon The canon Yeah As you know The icon award winner

The original The third co-host Of Las Culturistas What did I ever I will spill tea right now No don't do it I will spill the tea Here

And the tea will burn through the ground. It's so hot. Oh, no. One time Bowen said to me, maybe we should get a third co-host. No, I did not phrase it that way. And I said, how dare you? I said. And he said, I just feel like you could be better.

He never said that. But he did. He did. I floated the idea by you. I said, hey, just a wild idea. What if we got a third co-host? Like, what if? I couldn't believe.

And I was like, because I'm listening to this Pat episode and it's so fun. And like maybe every now and then. I couldn't. I can't imagine. Me neither. You wouldn't be able to have. I love Pat. I think Pat is one of the most underrated comedians in the community.

Yes, I agree with you. I think the industry needs to take note of Pat Regan. But, I can't imagine it would be a three-person podcast every time. There wouldn't be room. There wouldn't be room for someone beyond Pat. Literally, there wouldn't be room at this table.

We've said so many times it's a small table. HBJ, get us a bigger table. I mean, we need a bigger table. You're a Time Out Best Podcast award winner. Award. Okay, but also, a lot of things have changed since I made that statement because...

Bowen is currently pulling up Pat Regan's Insta story? No, not an Insta story. Pat Regan sent me this menacing bullying video in reference to our upcoming show, Culture, as part of the New York Comedy Festival. Which we can announce right now that we're sitting with one of the judges.

One of the judges of Culture. And he and I have had some antagonism going on in the last few days, I will say. Well, I wouldn't say it was an antagonism for me. I think you came for me on Facebook. No, no, no, no, no, no me on Facebook post, which was not a smart strategy. Come for a judge online. You initiated this antagonism.

I didn't. I just, I merely was saying. The team rosters went out. You said, wow, a lot of heavy hitters on Matt's team. Someone's feeling confident.

Yes. And I would say, I would say that is a pretty neutral no i didn't say anything about the quality of your team i didn't say a goddamn thing about your team i didn't say you implied you tacitly said that my team had weaker players you want to project that onto my comment if you want to project ill intent onto me one of your closest friends then that's your decision. That's your prerogative.

Also a judge. I don't know. Bitch, I don't know if you're jet lagged or what. Okay. But this is outrageous. This is him all the time. I don't know about this. The point is-

He's a sensationalist. No. I want to play this video, this very menacing, bullying video, honestly, and I will post. By the time this episode releases, I'm sure this will make it online. Yeah, you gotta hear this.

That is really in rare form. Oh, so I should preface this by saying that the way that our teams were chosen was Matt and I, at the same time, I was at the airport in Brisbane and Matt was God knows where. But we, at the same time, we arranged a time for us to send each other probably on some street corner in Prospect Park. God knows where. But we, at the same time, we arranged a time for us to send each other. That was God knows where.

Probably on some street corner in Prospect Park. Hooking and looking. Hooking and looking. And we arranged a time for us to send our pics at the same time so no one like,

I believe it was 2.30 p.m. And for me, that was like, you know, another time. Eight hours ahead? Six hours? Something like that.

And then, any overlaps, any conflicting, any members we both wanted, we would have to fight over. Or flip a coin over or whatever. No, we would debate. We would debate. And I knew that Matt would have his picks. And so I wanted to have as frictionless of a list exchange as possible. So with that in mind, here is Pat's video that he sent me.

Well, well, well. exchange as possible. So, with that in mind, here's Pat's video that he sent me. Well, well, well. I know I wasn't on your list for culture. Don't try to lie, bitch. Raj told me everything. And now, I'm gonna make you suffer. So, this is...

I... I'm so proud. No, no, he's a bully, guys. I haven't heard a peep out of any of the delicate flowers on Bowen's head. Oh, no. Let me tell you something. They're being really aggressive. Amanda Duarte.

Amanda Duarte is being really aggressive. No, praise be. She is doing everything right. I don't know. I call foul play when she shared Nicole Silverberg's post. Amazing post. And said, how could Matt's team even show up when Bowen's team is out here doing good work in the world? I feel it's an appropriation of Nicole.

I feel she appropriated. You can't appropriate your own allies, honey. You can. Yeah, I don't know about that. Maybe my language is off, but I know my heart. Okay, you know your heart. Then put that on my tombstone. This is a real housewife's defense if I have ever heard one.

There is no argument that you can come up against that. I don't know my words, but I know my heart. Oh, that's gorgeous. Put it on my tombstone, I'm telling you. I don't know my words, but I know my heart. Recently on Real Housewives of Dallas season two, which is a must see for even an uninitiated Real Housewives fan. It is an amazing show season.

You've got everything. You've got a woman who wants to start a pink dog food company. The evil head of a cosmetics company. Everyone's marriage is failing. And there are two former best friends, much like Bowen and Matt, who on the off season, in between the first and the second season, one of the friends wrote about the other friend's marriage that it was like watching a car crash happen in slow motion.

Which is hackneyed and... On her Bravo-affiliated blog. And then the other friend... So we come into this season and the friends are feuding and the one friend who wrote that on her blog doesn't know why her friend is mad at her. And so they have, early in the season, a confrontation about it.

And her defense of writing this about her best friend's marriage is, well, that was just on my blog. That was just something I wrote on a... She can't be on my blog. That was just something I wrote on a blog, which I think is very Rajian. Very Rajian. I mean. That's just in my heart. That's just not.

When you're drowning. Those aren't my words. That's my heart. When you're drowning, you don't fight to the surface politely. That is. What? That's all.

What am I drowning in? He's an unending fount of fucking nonsense over here when you're drowning you don't be polite guys matt is in a place right now where he wants to like come up with these platitudes but the thing is is you can't argue with it no we don't know what it means because well i know that if i were, I would not want to be polite. Exactly. And so I don't know. I don't know what application that has to a conversation. Being polite is not an alternative. Like being rude. Whatever you guys.

You have no idea how to even. Let's just walk it back. OK. There was a show called Battle of the Divas. OK. Yeah. Hosted by Matteo land and christy there's everything to do with this the thing i've always admired about this podcast it is

is so alienating to viewers who don't live in new york and no it's not people love it people love constantly both of you will be like and then one day Amanda said blah blah blah blah blah and I as a listener know who you're talking about but you have a gigantic following you are unequivocally

a very successful podcast and I would guess that 90% of the people who listen don't know who 90% of the people you're talking about that's not true

absolutely they cultureistas hear my call I know that you're all out there I know you're out there With your Googles out Searching, searching, searching

And here's what I'll say Look for these names These trash names Amanda Duarte Nicole Silverberg Don't That wasn't even the Amanda That I was referencing

That you mentioned Who wasn't your Amanda? Amanda Schachtman? Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah People know her People know Amanda They know her That wasn't even the Amanda that I was referencing that you mentioned. Who wasn't your Amanda? Amanda Schachtman? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. People know her. People know Amanda. They know her because we referenced her several times.

Okay. Amazingly talented. But I would say there's a list of 10 people under Team Bowen, and that's trash. Okay, well, anyway. Now, what I was saying was you don't know what it means to truly fight. Oh, my God. Team Bowen, just understand that your leader, he lost to me at Battle of the Divas

when I was repping Christina Aguilera and you were repping Britney Spears because you tried to play the quote unquote right way. Well, I will win

no matter what. I will do no matter what. I see that. You know what that makes you, Matt? What? You know what that makes me first and foremost Hillary Clinton and it makes you the the monster who smashed the political machine don't Valentin Valentin I'm Hillary and your Valentine what I'm saying to all my fans what I'm saying to all my fans out there is, why don't you visit the Instagram pages of Bowen and everyone on his team

and just show them a little bit of love by posting a rose? Oh my God. You will be rose attacked. On the day of Selena's birthday of all days. Is that what today is? Today is. We're recording.

I mean, yeah, we're recording on Selena's birthday. Anyway. Quintanilla? Quintanilla. Oh, please don't. Don't do that. Please don't.

I just want to say that, first of all, at that very show, and we have to bring Joel into this. He's in it. He's in it. He's in it. He's in it. But I will say again, I've said this on the podcast before. You ad hominem attacked me so hard.

You called me old when you are older than I am. You said both Britney Spears and I are stupid and old. Like those, that was your argument. That was your main argument. I don't think you have any way to prove any of this. For that to have been an effective strategy is Trumpian and Valentinian and Rajian. Rajian. And you know what?

Wait, hold on. Was Dallas, is Dallas the one where in a recent episode, like they were on a beach and then one of the housewives thought it'd be funny to put a dildo. Yes. Yes. This is Dallas. They're all awful. They're all so terrible.

No, I actually think that there are, there's one that was born, was abandoned at a carnival and grew up as a carny. No, she's the Roxy Andrews of the housewives. Oh my God, it is. And she does bring it up at every possible, like to get out of any situation, it is her trump card and it is amazing. I would do that. I would too.

The woman who wants to start the pink dog food, also her like angle, her narrative, and all the women say this about her, is that she's very smart, but she plays dumb. And I don't think that's true. There's an honest tea party that they have. Oh, yeah, sure. Where they each put in an anonymous question

about one of the other girls into a teapot to sort of get all the tea out in the open. Is it sponsored by Honest Tea? No, no no no okay I think it was no one thought this and this girl the girl who wanted to start the pink dog food company one of the questions she put in and everyone's saying like why did you say this about Stephanie behind your back why did you say D'Andra can't come into your house etc etc and then they get to one and it just says what's your favorite vacation destination and this girl is like yeah i didn't know what we were doing here

that's amazing or actually she is very smart by doing something so innocuous putting something in the thing is she's so stupid that she is on a different level so it is hard to tell it's a very january jones thing it's like is she a good actress or is she so bad that she seems good? Does it come around full circle? Totally. Sudi made me watch a couple episodes of New Jersey the other day. And have you been watching New Jersey? Not the new season. Okay, because there was a huge conflict about one of them baked a cake for another one.

And I think it was like Teresa or someone else took the cake and threw the cake in the restaurant. And the argument was the girl who made the cake and gifted it to the girl was upset because she felt she was disrespected. And also they disrespected the restaurant in her quote unquote town. This was her town. But the girls who threw the cake, whose birthday it was, said, well, it's my cake. I should be able to do what I want with it which sound and it sounds very Raji that sounds exactly

like something you do I think with a cake I wouldn't throw with a cake I would say something like well it's my cake so I can do what I want but I wouldn't throw it trust I have respect for restaurant employees. Wasn't there one housewife in one city who was too classy to be on the show? Do you know who she is? There's a lot. There's a lot of them. There's at least one on every season, on every franchise.

Like Carol Radziwill is a fucking Kennedy and she's on the show. See, I'm going to say this. It's very Rajian. Like Matt is Rajian. In the Housewives world, Matt is the Teresa. I know they're different franchises, they're different cities, but I'm the Carol.

I am the Kennedy and Matt is the New Jersey Housewife who throws the cake. To put things in New York terms, I think Matt is the Ramona. You are the Carol. I am. I am the Bethany.

I have so many problems. I don't even watch the shows. I don't even watch. And I'm sorry. I'm not saying that as like a. You are not the Carol because Carol is untouchable because she's always right and you are not. Oh my God. You have some flaws.

Okay. All right. you are countess luann and this makes joel the andy cohen of everything because he is just watching idly i want to say something okay this is your podcast if i'm christina and you're britney who's joel jessica no andy no no no mand, yeah, he can keep the career going. Is that what we're saying about it? Is that Mandy's claim to fame in all of this? Is that Mandy?

She kept the career. Yeah, a very stable, consistent career. But that is a hard plate to spin. I will say that I believe that for Joel. No, you're saying that I'm going to have about a decade of a dip. No, no, no. She never had a dip. No, no, no. She never had a dip. She never dipped, honey.

She never dipped. Because even in that quote unquote dip, she was turning it on Grey's Anatomy. Here's the timeline. See, I'm not familiar. Music, music, music. Walk to remember. How to deal. Saved.

Saved. And then did Grey's Anatomy. Then right into Tangled. I did not know that she was on Grey's. She did two's Anatomy, then right into Tangled. I did not know that she was on Grey's. She did two episodes. No, she did more than two. No, she was in the- She was in the shooting episode.

She was in the one supersized shooting episode. Oh, God. And then she came back during the documentary episode. Oh, yes. And then at the end, it's revealed that she dies. It was very sad. And it's like an emotional moment for Miranda. And now she's doing

Sally Field drag on The Regular on This Is Us. She is doing Sally Field drag. I don't want to watch that show. No way. I refuse.

And I really like Parenthood, which is sort of its spiritual predecessor on NBC. I really loved that show, but I can't do, I just can't do

emotion porn right now. I feel like the world is too sad I don't I don't need that kind of entertainment in my life. That's why I'm watching fucking Real Housewives of Dallas Yeah The Real Housewives of New York City are back for another bite of the Big Apple Look who it is Joined by elite new friends Rebecca Hancock

Have you ever heard of her? But things could change in a New York Minute She had this wild night and ended up getting pregnant by some other guy. What? You told her? Not today, Satan. Not today. The Real Housewives of New York City.

All new Tuesdays at 9 on Bravo or stream it on City TV+. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, a five-year-old boy floated alone in the ocean. He had lost his mother trying to reach Florida from Cuba. He looked like a little angel. I mean, he looked so fresh. And his name, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere. Elian Gonzalez. Elian Gonzalez. Elian.

Elian. Elian Gonzalez. everywhere. At the heart of the story is a young boy and the question of who he belongs with. His father in Cuba. Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. At the heart of it all is still this painful family separation. Something that as a Cuban, I know all too well. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, as part of the My Cultura podcast network,

available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty, and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. We talk about guilt, shame, body image, and huge life transformations.

I was a desperate, delusional dreamer. And the desperate part got me in a lot of trouble. I encourage delusional dreamers. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate, delusional dreamer. I just had such an anger. I was just so mad at life. Everything that wasn't right was everybody's fault but mine. I had such a victim mentality. I took zero accountability for anything in my life. I was the kid that if you asked what happened, I immediately started with everything but me. It took years for me to break that, like years of work. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. Guess what, folks? We're teammates again. And we're going to welcome you guys all to Dudes on Dudes. I'm a dude, you're a dude, and Dudes

on Dudes is our brand new show. We're going to highlight players, peers, guys that we played against, legends from the past, and we're just going to sit here and talk about them. And we'll get into the types of dudes. What kind of types of dudes are there, Gronk? We got studs, wizards.

We got freaks. Or dudes dude. We got dogs. Dogs. We'll break down their games. We'll share some insider stories and determine what kind of dude each of these dudes are. Is Randy Moss a stud or a freak?

Is Tom Brady a dog or a dudes dude? We're gonna find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. No, honestly, I've been obsessed with Project

Runway. Oh, yes. So I have missed a lot while I've been gone. First of all, we have not addressed that I've been away. And we'll talk about this later. But I want to talk about our media diets right now. Specifically Joel's. He's the guest after all. Yeah.

But Joel, I feel like, has a very wide breadth of... He has a very sophisticated palette in his media diet. I don't know. This bitch is posting all the time on Real Housewives Facebook group. But I'm saying... I don't think he watches anything else. No no but i think he watches a lot of okay let's let joel speak for yourself so no i i i think i do have generally throughout the year a pretty good diet but right now you know as bowen was involved in this project i've been developing

a show for a cable network that is as yet undisclosed. And I find as I've been writing this show, it's very difficult for me to watch regular narrative television. So I've been watching a lot of Real Housewives, a lot of American Ninja Warrior. Oh. Wow. Haven't dipped my toe in that. Oh, it's very inspiring. Any gays?

Any gays? Yeah. I don't think any. They haven't shouted it out as much as you would think. Some of the women, it's very inspiring. Any gays, any gays, yeah. I don't think any, they haven't shouted it out as much as you would think. Some of the women it seems clear, but, and some of the men it seems less clear. They must be, some of them must be. Yeah, I think there have been at least one that I'm aware of. And then a lot of them, I actually, I dived into Will and Grace.

I saw the first, What do you guys think? I haven't seen the new. I haven't seen the new. I've been watching. I've been putting on the old one in the background. And I started. And I got to say, as I began, I thought this show benefited from being unavailable for so many years. Because I did not think it held up as well as I wanted it to in my brain.

And I'll say one more thing. I am now in the final season and I actually think it gets much better. I think it's flipped. I think unlike most sitcoms of that, that ilk like Frasier and friends and things like that, I think it actually gets much better because it gets more absurd and less tethered to reality. And I think, um think the other thing, the other reason I think it doesn't hold up

quite as much as I wanted it to is because I think so much of it was so formative in forming my own comedic sensibilities that it felt old hat. Like I watched the episode real early on where Jack meets Cher. And it wasn't as funny as I remembered it being only because it was so ingrained in my,

like Jack's impression of Cher became all of our impressions of Cher. And so I think it just didn't hit me as hard. But I'll say, as much as some of it just does not, I think it's a lot broader than even I think Friends or Frasier was at the time. Sean Hayes does some incredible work on he's incredible he's amazing and he's continued to do it in like the the i guess new iteration it's so

theatrical and yeah and people talk about um karen uh who is amazing as well i think megan malali is incredible in that show but sean hayes is so like the stuff that he got, they put on television of him doing is so outrageous to me. Like even watching it now. They let a femme gay guy do like fucking backflips and shit like he like. There's a scene where he pretends to be pushing through a crowd as he's escaping a scene of a breakup. And it is. And it's the guy from. Amazing physical comedian.

Amazing physical comedian. Louis Vertel referred to it as chaplain-esque. Yeah, it really is. And I think I encourage everybody who, even though I agree, I'm not sure we needed Will and Grace back. I think it makes me feel very anxious that we have it back together. You know what I think it is, though? I think it's a little litmus test for a friend's reunion.

No? Really? I thought you were going to say something else. I thought you were going to say, like, it feels, I know they started the wheels turning back when it didn't feel like Trump was going to be president, but it just feels like this way to be back in 1999 or 2000, which is, like, crazy to me.

I do feel like we're hitting the nostalgia cycle of like, well, how did things feel back in the late 90s when everything felt sort of post-everything and all right? Because now, do you see the slate of jukebox musicals that are coming out? That's now a fad that's about to share. Oh, yeah. Jimmy Buffett has one.

Jimmy Buffett. Oh, right. I just saw a list. Somebody listed the ones That are coming down the pike And there's like eight That are in development Right now

And that's like That I feel like Was a product of that Same time period too I feel like As the alt-right Is sort of reviving All of these things

That died in the past Yep Now we're The like liberal response Is we're doing The only thing we can jukebox musicals and will and grace yeah and multi-cam sitcoms i have been i have been like pleasantly surprised by will and grace though like i've heard that i've heard that i just haven't had the strength yet

to visit it i i totally get that i've watched the first two oh i couldn't get past the first five minutes of the first episode where it's like they talk about. They definitely. It was a pretty hacky start to the episode, I thought, because it was like, we have to justify why none of the last season matters. Or like, you know what I mean? Like, or it's a toss out the last three episodes. Like what? Like they just like we're throwing slang around and it was just like, oh, no, no, no, no.

His first line is like a grinder. Yeah. It's like okay i i i think uh the also the one my one takeaway now that i'm getting from will and grace is that vince is the best gay boyfriend i think we've ever had yeah on television oh yeah on any on any gay focused media i think vince is the best one and he pop he colonized my brain I think and my taste because I was thinking recently about like what I really want and what my type because people will ask me what my type is and I think my type is one of two on two spectrums one it's either I give me a swarthy middle eastern italian mediterranean man in a full Adidas track suit who grew up in Queens or give me a like a corn-fed Midwestern boy who is a golden retriever turned into a boy yeah that is those two that's sweet

well I dated one of those and so maybe I'll try the other thing same I think I think we both had at the time we were like we're dating sort of the same thing right now and it felt right but let's find our track suits let's find our track suits and break them out honestly you know what maybe that is next

Vince is one of our best gay boyfriends and I will say just to bring this back to Brittany one of the best pop star guest star appearances on a sitcom. She was pretty fucking great on that. She was really fucking funny. I'm right around the corner from that guest star. She was surprisingly funny.

This was right before 2007, right before the breakdown. And she, at the time, was turning out the comedy performances. And this was back when you're like, oh yeah, she had a really good SNL episode. Really good. the comedy performances and like this was back when you're like oh yeah she like had a really good SNL episode really good and then she like plays a fucking lesbian talk show host like a super conservative

talk show host who turns out to be a lesbian and it was just so funny you know that's what I think peak TV we've lost in the mix of peak TV

is shows like Will and Grace and Friends and Frasier were guest star machines Brad Pitt like every like every episode just had like a random like star a random, like, star.

Ethan Embry. Like, all these Ethan Embry. Like, you know those big-name stars. He was truly a random star, Ethan Embry. But, like, truly every episode of Will & Grace, like, one of the boyfriends or, like, you know, every, what show is like that now? Yeah.

Yeah. Honestly, you know know not that many and i'm thinking because even on the multi-cams that are that exist 30 that are still 30 rock might have been the last the last big one but like even if you think about the cbs multi-cam sitcoms that are sort of keeping that tradition alive they're not doing that there's not big guest stars on big bang or two broke girls or any of that i think that's because really big stars know they don't have to do that and they don't want to because it's embarrassing because the quality of the shows yeah because at that time networks were still a powerful force of exactly their eyes on and also you can watch any of those nbc musty tv

shows and like actually laugh at them if you have have taste, you know what I mean? Like those CBS shows, like they're, you know, they're working real hard on young children. They're working. They're trying. Have you tried to watch? I've watched a couple of,

or an app. I recently covered myself in shredded mozzarella. Cheese got so high, just eating out of a bag, straight link prostrate on my, on the flat on my back, on my bed, eating out of a bag of shredded mozzarella, covering myself in it,

and watched The Good Doctor and Young Sheldon. Just as a sort of turning off my brain, I was deeply depressed. You're catching me as I'm entering a manic phase. So that's good for a podcast recording. But that moment. And I'll say Young Sheldon, there is, if it weren't connected, the problem with Young Sheldon is that- A spinoff.

A prequel spinoff. Because the thing is, is there are some actually really lovely moments. Annie Potts is on it. Oh. Yeah, she plays the grandmother. The mother is actually really sort of, there are wonderful moments with her doing these wonderful mom moments where she's advocating for her kid who's clearly on the spectrum. Yeah. doing these wonderful mom moments where she's like advocating for her kid who's clearly on the spectrum. And yet, you know that this kid grows up to be an asshole who has no sense of joy.

And so you're like, oh, well, we know where this is going. It's sad because like if the story was sort of about like how does this crotchety, like lame kid sort of grow up to be something better than what he is now, it would be something sort of nice and beautiful to watch. But as it stands, because we know he turns into Jim Parsons, it's like, why am I watching? I don't know, Joel. We don't know how Big Bang Theory ends.

That's true. Maybe he'll turn around. Yeah, but that's not going to do anything for young Sheldon. I know, I know. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I will say watch The Good Doctor, though, because it is good. Turn your brain.

Wait until there are 11 episodes to watch and you have the flu and then watch some Good Doctor. Wait, seriously? It's actually good? I mean, it's the guy who created House. So it's incredibly consumable and watchable. Yeah. And, like, sort of comforting in that. In its digestibility.

In the formula of, you know, there's a problem. Like, I think House is so watchable just because it's like, you gotta find that mystery. The network television is good at creating the premises. He's autistic basically. Okay, cool. I mean,

yeah, I'd watch that. I don't love that kid. The doctor. I don't know something about him. What was he on? He was in finding Neverland. He was,

he was in movies and he also was in, um, I think you're... I think you're missing the marquee role. Am I? Which is what? Oh, you're saying we still don't know who this person is. Yeah, I feel like I'm

searching for it. I don't think people are saying Freddie Highmore and connecting him to Finding Neverland. I think they are. Should we searchy? You search. Okay. Bates Motel. That's searchy? Yeah, you search. Bates Motel, that's it. That's his most recent. He played Norman Bates in the Bates Motel.

Yes, of course. And so is that show over? Yes. R.I.P. Vera's career. Vera. That's a sad story because, like, Vera's so good. She is. Fantastic.

She's fantastic. Vera's so good and, you know, she's probably one of those actresses that's like, okay, we have our list of 20, and at 16 is Vera. And you know number three says yes. So it's like, what do you do if you're four through 15? And then Carrie Coon is waiting patiently. I think actually Carrie Coon's maybe eclipsed Vera now.

I think so. She's more of theclipsed Vera now. I think so. She's more of the moment. Yeah, she's of the moment. Oh, she's so fucking good. Carrie Coon, I feel like, is the Sarah Paulson right now. Yeah? The television actress that becomes a huge fucking deal because she just keeps showing how fucking good she is.

I just saw Carrie Coon in a play, Mary Jane, in New York, and it is one of the most devastating performances I have ever seen. Understated. Oh, yeah, you described this. You said she gave a line reading. There's a line reading at the end of the first act of Mary Jane that it sent shock.

Here's my thing about theater right now is I don't need to see another dramatic realism play. I find that boring. Don't show me someone chopping vegetables on the stage. That's what television and movies are for. That's what I feel anyways. And this play is very much that. It's

very much like you're watching her fold laundry. And that's like a moment. But I'll watch Carrie Coon do that because she sells it in such a way that is remarkable. What is the line? The line? It won't make sense outside of context. I don't think, I truly think we need to hear it. The line is, honey, why are you sorry?

Sweetie, why are you sorry? I have no idea what it means, but it's still powerful. And there's layers, because she's not crying, but she is crying, and she's comforting, and she's terrifying. Carrie, only an actress of Carrie Coon's caliber could pull that off. I don't know if I can get over that her name is Carrie Coon. I don't want to say her name.

Carrie Coon. That's just a bad name. It does sound like an early Amy Adams role, doesn't it? It's her character's name in Junebug. It's Junebug. Okay, so alternative us has to tell you a little something, so we're going to take a break and come right back with Bull Jim Kooster. Ooh, Matt, I think I sense a chill in the air.

Yes, well, if you thought that chill was the fall, the autumn, I have to say it's not. Oh, it's a chill between you and I. That's because we are going head-to-head, people, the autumn. I have to say it's not. It's a chill between you and I. That's because we are going head-to-head, people, at Culture. It's our show for New York Comedy Festival, and it's an I-don't-think-so-honey deathmatch. Team Matt and Team Bowen

are going to have their own teams of ten comedians facing off head-to-head in many rounds, honey, for the title of the ultimate culturista. Yes, there will be a $100 cash prize. Now, what are some things you could do with $100, Bowen? Oh, I think you could pay for a Spirit Airlines ticket to Tacoma.

I think that that's a pretty reasonable thing you could pay. That's like a standard. I was going to say a Con Ed bill. Oh, yeah. I think someone, whoever wins Couch War, going to say a Con Ed bill. Oh, yeah. I think someone, whoever wins Coach War, will be paying their Con Ed bill. And they'll also be bringing glory and victory to either Team Matt or Team Bowen. You will find out which team wins on November 7th at 8.30 p.m. This is for New York Comedy Festival, people.

And tickets are on sale now. We're doing it at Villain in Brooklyn. We're very excited november 7th 8 30 it's a tuesday new york comedy festival brooklyn villain is the space and you know what november 7th 2017 is election day and i would say that this election is more important than anything else that's happening in the country. Yes, I agree. Now, if you can't make November 7th, if that's not something you can make work, then you can come to the beautiful,

more positive, more cathartic experience. Far more jovial night. The proven quantity of our I Don't Think So Honey live show, this time at the Bell House. We're so excited to be performing there. We're going to have 50 brand new comedians doing their I Don't Think So Honeys as we

record them, as we introduce their stunningly stunningly incisive attacks to the world. It's going to be so fun. So fun. Got some amazing comics lined up for it. We'll be announcing that very soon. And it's at the Brooklyn Podcast

Festival. Brooklyn Podcast Festival. On November 18th at 10 p.m., honey. Yes, at the Bell House. We're very excited about that. So again, that's November 7th, Couch War and I Don't Think So Honey Deathmatch as part of New York Comedy Festival. And November 18th, I Don't Think So Honey Live

at 10 o'clock at the Bell House as part of the Brooklyn Podcast Festival. So there you go, people. Two options, and we'll find out who can really serve Couch. It's getting colder. podcast festival. So there you go, people. Two options, and we'll find out who can really serve cultch. It's getting colder in here.

Okay, we're back with Joel. Now, before we get back to Joel... No, don't cut. Alright, let me tell you something. He should not win cult war. He should not win cult war He should not win culture. We're not using any of this. Yes, we are.

No. Do what you want to do. Stop. This is not fair. Every other fucking week, you come in with some request to cut something out of the episode for some unseemly thing that you say. How dare you rip off my lingerie. You need me.

I need to retake that. Fine. Keep it. Keep it. Because this is the real, this is cinema very fucking tay. Okay. Here we go. I don't think he used that right at all. Cinema very tay? Yeah, no, he did. I did. Okay, sure.

Somebody knows his words. I don't know my heart, but I know my words. Okay, you guys. i'm really sad for you before we get back to i honestly don't know we're keeping it read it i think this is part of the charm i think people like this yeah sure sure they fucking love it those people they eat it up so um really funny story. A couple weeks ago, we had a contest for whoever left the 100th review on iTunes, on Apple Podcasts. Ooh. And wouldn't you know it, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of reviews came in. But we have a winner.

And I think it's not one, but two, because this is two separate drafts of the same review. By two different usernames but with two slightly different titles someone's a bot someone's a bot or someone's trying to game this I think someone was trying to cheat the prize was by the way to quote have their tapestry of words read aloud on the podcast

which is what we're doing right now so first review is is from user MakeLasCultureistas Bi-Weekly. Title, yes, capital Y, and that'll be important in a moment. Five stars. I don't think so, honey,

people who work out to anything other than the sounds of this podcast. There is a reason why the IDTS age is exactly one minute per person and it's just for your planking convenience i started running on wednesday mornings just so i could spend some time with matt and bowen and prospect park and i wouldn't have it any other way definitely the number one podcast this year now the next review by colch queen yescase y. Already different, but sort of similar.

I don't think so, honey. People who work out to anything other than the sounds of this podcast. There is a reason why the IDTSH is exactly one minute per person. And it's for your planking convenience, hunty. I started running on Wednesday mornings just to have quality time with Matt Bowen and an empty Prospect Park. And now I'm fit and well-versed in all things culture. So those are two very similarly worded reviews. What a little freak.

I think it had to be they were on their one user. Yes. They wanted to buy two raffle tickets. So I think what happened was, A, maybe they wanted a bigger chance of winning to be the 100. Yep. And guess what they did? Or they clicked post and something happened. Okay.

And they questioned whether or not it was posted. I think this is actually probably the most likely. So what they did was they went on their other user. But why wouldn't you? And what they did was they said, well, I guess this is my second crack at it, and they made it more specific. I think the iTunes – I actually see that. I'm in their mind. I have done a similar situation. Absolutely.

Because it's like a tweet that doesn't post, and you're like, oh, now I have an opportunity to make it better. Yes. And so I think that's what they did here. And I also will say, I think iTunes is unyielding. I don't know. The interface is hard. It's so hard to use. I just find it really suspect that they created two separate accounts.

That is damning. And usernames specifically for the podcast. That is damning. It's like a Colch Queen versus Make Las Culturistas. But maybe they thought the first one didn't create. And so, again, they did sort of, I don't know. You're right. I don't know who to believe.

I think there's a vast conspiracy. Welcome to InfoWars. To leech our creative intellectual real estate. To leech off of that. And so I think there's something going on out there. Okay. We're back with Joel. Now, Joel, during the break, you just told us that you just saw

Come From Away on Broadway. Yes. My agent said, I'll buy you tickets to anything on Broadway, baby. My agent? She opened the gate. Oh, my God. She opened the gate and she said, tell me what you want to see and we'll see it. And I said.

You didn't say Hamilton? No, because I saw it, bitch. I would see it twice. I like Hamilton. I saw an original cast. I don't need to see anybody else spit those words. Okay. No, but I looked at the list of Broadway shows currently playing of the things

That I had not seen and I said baby bring Me to come from away give me that 9-11 porn And how did you like I loved it I sobbed throughout It and I did I went in not Really wanting to like it I kind of went Because I was like this is a free ticket I'm not spending

My own money so I'll see something I can make fun of And I that's amazing now Tell someone who does not I don't wink because I was like, this is a free ticket. I'm not spending my own money, so I'll see something I can make fun of later. Right, right, right. And I loved it. That's amazing. Now, tell someone who does not know what the play is, such as me. Wow. Guys, very uncultured when it comes to theater. Tell me.

It is about, so on 9-11, all the planes got grounded, of course. Right. As you might remember. Right, yeah. So they all got grounded. And so a lot of them got grounded at a very large airport in Newfoundland in Canada and so it was just basically the the play is it's an ensemble multiple people playing multiple roles sort of tracking real-life stories some composites and

some actual like real people of this week that these people were basically trapped in Newfoundland, like an entire day they spent basically on the tarmac in these planes. And it's a story. It's a convergence of the people who were on the planes from all over the world who were grounded and trapped and didn't know what was going on. We're obviously terrified. And then the town that sort of comes together to support them in this time and then you know and now it there's a there's a storyline where these two one guy from london who's a businessman who's sort of an uptight guy and this woman from dallas end up uh meeting on trapped on this plane and then they fall in love and get married and that's a real life story really um and then one of the women was the first um one of the pilots was the

first female commercial airline pilot ever on the thing. And she, oh my God, I don't know the actress's name. Is it Jen Colella? Yes. Okay. Yes. And she was nominated for a Tony. I didn't watch the Tonys this last year, but damn, she is an incredible voice.

I saw her in, you know what I saw her in? If Then. Oh. She seems like she probably lost a lot of roles to Sutton Foster or me, or she seems within that type and certainly within the vocal range, but just like, she's fucking amazing. One of the best voices I've, I've heard live.

Incredible. Um, and it is, I can't believe my plane got delayed. Is it like that? It's exactly. We're never getting back to America. We're here in Newfoundland and we found each other.

And we are getting married. But we're never getting back on our plane. Oh my God. Producer Joe, can you turn off the soundtrack to Come From Away? It's so inappropriate. We're going to have a rights issue. He just mimed. He mimed going over to the controls.

For our benefit. No, it was fantastic. It is like the Laramie Project music. Oh, yeah. Sort of a very docu-play thing. It is meant in 10 years it will be done at colleges and high schools all over the country. Unlike the Laramie Project,

come from away is necessary. Wow. I kidding i'm kidding holy god stop it's honestly a joke the credit uh going into this competition oh no i will say this i uh it is meant for for uh uh high schools and and musicals it's it's sort of uh i don't understand the point it will be very interesting it's it's weird for me to think about it's sort of, uh, I don't understand the point. It will be very interesting. It's, it's weird for me to think about it being done by high school students who weren't alive during nine 11. Oh, for me,

it was very, I succumbed to the, the, the sort of notness. I actually do feel like they hand, it was less a tragedy porn than I thought it would be. Cause it is, it is much less,

less about 9-11 and more about this specific experience which i was impressed by they don't go into a lot of like they don't feel the need to explain 9-11 to you like every they they sort of they don't talk down to the audience in that way they sort of like okay everybody coming in to see this show knows what fucking 9-11 is we don't need to explain it. This is a very unique experience. There's a subplot about all the animals that are trapped on this plane and the difficulty of how do you take care of these animals when nobody will let them into the baggage claim

because they think there could be bombs. There's a very subtle, there's a muslim character and it's that's actually where i lost it where they're like letting them off the plane finally and they like sort of don't know if they should let him into the town and it's oh my god it's devastating um but yeah so i i thought like it was less tragedy porn than i expected it to be going in but it is definitely still that and uh not i i tried to listen to the soundtrack afterwards. Other than Jen's song, the female airline pilot song, there isn't an earworm in the soundtrack, I won't say.

The song that Joe just played for us was Hook City. Hook City. Should he play it again? Yeah. Could you play it just one more time? I can't believe my plane got delayed We're sitting here on the tarmac And we're never gonna find our way home But we found each other

We found oh And the whole chorus. So wait, what was that? It was we found O. Just a vowel? Sometimes you can just do a vowel. Can I tell you guys, I was in Tesley today. Wait, you were where?

Tesley, Bernie Tesley's office. Oh, Telsey. Telsey? Telsey, wow. Who is? Bernie Telsey, cast Legally Blonde. That's all I know. It's a casting office in New York.

Thank God I've never met this man because I've been telling people I've been going to Tesley all day. Telsey. Wait, why were you there? Audition? Yeah, I had an audition. There's multiple rooms. Because they're casting a thousand goddamn things.

It's a musical theater nightmare. And this boy went in. I was in part of the waiting room multiple rooms. There's not like, cause they're casting a thousand goddamn things. Musical theater nightmare. And, uh, one of some, this boy went in, I was in this waiting, I was in part of the waiting room with literally the entire cast of oranges, new black waiting to go in for some play. And I was waiting to go in for a movie. Uh,

yes, I am auditioning for movies. And, um, wow. And, uh, there was a music.

I think it was, I actually do think it was Hamilton. I think they were sort of casting, like, you know, they're doing a rolling casting process for Hamilton. And this boy sang Let It Go. No.

Let It Go. And then he sang it once and they asked him to sing it again and he sang it in his head voice. Oh, no. The second time? The second time. But he did belt it once. Yeah, and it was not good.

He wants to show them range. I was shocked. We were all shocked. Collectively, it was actually a lovely moment between me and the cast of Orange is the New Black sitting there listening to this because we all were shocked that he was asked to sing it again.

Wait, were there actual cast members from Orange is the New Black? Yeah, there were. There were like three guards from Orange is the New Black were City in this waiting room with me. And no, I could not believe. Who the fuck are you? There are a thousand people who want to get in the door to audition for this musical.

And you're bringing in fucking Let It Go. No, I applaud him. He's a villain. He's a goddamn villain. Get back to fucking Michigan where you belong. People that do that. I think are, they think they're being subversive.

They think they're like, I'm going to bring in, let it go. And it's actually going to be good. And that's going to really set me apart. Um, because they're going to be thinking, Oh,

he brought in, let it go. I roll, but then it's going to be good. And really it's just like, no, you brought in, let it go. He brought in, let it go. And here's the it's going to be good. And really it's just like, no, you brought in Let It Go. He brought in Let It Go.

And here's the thing, too. He was bad. If he had slayed, I probably would be in here thinking, telling you an inspiring story. But I honestly feel like they heard him sing Let It Go poorly once, and then as a joke, as a prank, they said, now try it in your head voice. Fine, fine, fine. What song would you have sung? Come on, let's do this. I went to Telsea one time and auditioned for Nerds the Musical. And I was there with Dave Mazzoni and Matteo Lane.

And I sang Sunday Morning by Maroon 5. Not appropriate. Dave sang Amazed by a Lone Star. Not appropriate. And Matteo Lane sang The Wizard and I. Not appropriate. So the point Lange sang The Wizard and I. Not appropriate. So the point, and Joel, what about you?

But already the point is we're not much better than this Let It Go boy. We're not musical theater actors. Did he sound like he did this? I don't know. I mean, he had the arch in his back, if you know what I mean, when he walked out. Yeah, 100%. And so I could tell he had the arch in his back, if you know what I mean, when he walked out. Yeah, 100%. And so I could tell he had a BFA under his belt.

He had the arch in his back. He had an arch in his back that suggested he had a BFA in musical theater from Elon University. But famously, when I was in undergrad for theater, I sang the same song for three semesters running at our unified audition. Which was? Purpose from Avenue Q. Oh, that's a great song. Yeah, great little cut from Purpose. And I sang it at every professional unified audition, and it got me two jobs in musical theater.

There you go. She's a booker. She's a booker, though. They were both thoroughly modern Millie. What would you sing bang bang i would sing bang bang by nancy sinatra as interpreted by lady gaga during the cheek to cheek tour um but also i would sing just around the river bend bitch and also another basic disney song but if it works it works no i don't i't fucking know. I don't go in for musical theater, and rightfully

so. Same. I mean, me neither. I think I've never... Don't try and put yourself on our level. We're trash, and you're a singer. No, no, I'm not a singer. I've genuinely... I'm not a singer, Matt Rogers. You heard it here first.

I'm not a singer, but you know who is? Jen Colella. Hit the tracklla I can't believe my plane got delayed we'll never get off this tarmac I know I won't find my way home

but I found a husband here oh But I found the husband's hero. Well, they let the animals off the plane. No, look. What is that interval? Okay, hold on. I can't.

You know what we're doing? Wait, what was it? I can't believe this plane got delayed. The interval from got to delayed was got delayed. Now, I will say. You always make fun and criticize. I'm not criticizing. My intervals.

Not your intervals. Come from away's intervals. We just heard three separate verses from the same song. It's Jen Kalaya. Slightly different. It has two different reprises. Yeah. But, no, I've heard both of you sing live many times when we go to piano bars in and around New York City.

You can find us there. And I am constantly impressed with both, Matt. But also, Bowen, you have one of the most technically proficient voices I think you have to pitch. That is untrue. Your resonance is out of control here's the thing not a lot of people a part about singing

a part about singing that a lot of people don't talk about enough is memory and Bowen has I once saw Bowen sing Giants in the Sky a difficult Sondheim is not an easy song like any Sondheim song is not easy to sing that's one of the easier Sondheim songs though

anyway keep going Bowen never looks at his phone Bowen never looks at lyrics Bowen knows all these songs by heart I can't I'm so afraid to sing in front of people that I can't look anybody in the eye I have to look at my phone most of the time I can remember lyrics because again the three parts of singing are memory

resonance and pitch and pitch and i i know memory memory is the part one of the three parts of singing that i'm good at and i still i get so afraid i have to look at music because i don't want to look at anybody and i've been paid twice in my life on a professional level to sing in front of people live and i i still when i have to sing in front of people live and I still when I have to sing in front of people in casual settings I get very nervous

it's cause casual is different than professional when it's professional you're prepared for it yeah and I and I know I go up here and I put it in my and I speak sing

you know and I do a little and I act through it I act through it that's the point that's what they want to see they want to see you perform yeah that's what I'll say that's why I like Sondheim you know cause it. That's the point. That's what they want to see. They want to see you perform.

That's what I'll say. That's why I like Sondheim. You know, because it's for actors. It's not for singers. Absolutely. And that's why they have so many actors first doing the movie musicals. And that's... Like Emily Blunt. I saw Into the Woods in the Park in 2012 with Amy Adams.

Yeah, how'd that go? And here's the thing. She did the reverse Jennifer Hudson. And Jennifer Hudson only begins to act when she starts to sing. Ah. And Amy Adams completely stopped acting when she began to sing

because you could tell she was like me. She had memory, but she was nervous about the other two. Yeah. And she stopped acting. And that's a problematic thing to do in a Sondheim musical because once again,

it's mostly singing and it's a lot of acting. Yeah a Sondheim musical because once again it's mostly singing and it's a lot of acting yeah yeah yeah and on stage well and I did see it the night one of the nights that Sondheim was in the audience

and so imagine being oh yeah so nervous that's gotta be horrifying so nervous who'd she play the baker's wife she played the baker's wife

I saw it with a friend who is an idiot and he asked at the end of the show at intermission he said because Glenn Close did the voice of the baker of the giantmission, he said, because Glenn Close did the voice of the giant wife,

and he said, do you think she's back there right now? And I said, no, friend, I don't think that Glenn Close shows up to set and sits backstage on a God mic and does her lines and acts opposite these people. Dennis O'Hare was in that too, right? I thought he was great.

People hated him, but I liked him a lot. Mostly because I, again, I appreciate the acting within the singing and Jesse Mueller's Chicago friend. Oh, Cinderella. I almost said Chicago friend, but she's not a friend.

She could be. She is an acquaintance at best. I bet she's lovely. She's very nice. I've met her at least twice in Chicago and she's very kind. And her family is like Chicago royalty. They're all,

all the Muellers are, are extremely talented, cool Christians, cool Christians, hill Christians, but cool, you know, cool,

obviously because they won't work in the theater. They have to be cool with gay people. And I, uh, I saw her brother was in sidetrack, a great gay bar in Chicago, watch and watched her, his sister went and Tony and cried and sidetrack.

And I saw it happen. Oh. He's gay? No. But he was just in a gay bar? It's a good place to watch the Tonys. That's suspect to me. Hey, we're not here to do that today.

You're right. You're not. We're here to talk about Model Minority. Model Minority. The album by Joel Kim Booster. That's my album. Now, listen. It's out on November 4th?

Third. Third. Third. But you can's out on November 4th? Third. Third. Third. But you can get it on November 4th because it'll have been released the day before. You're not trying to wrap this shit up. I have more to say. No, no, no, no, no.

I just want to talk about the album. I just want to make sure that we talk about the album. We want to talk about the album. Real business. And the half hour. But the album is the centerpiece. The album is what this album is leading up to. I want to talk about the album

because you know what? I thought when I was listening to the Al. I thought this will be something that I would have enjoyed very much in high school. 100%. I was down there. Not saying that you need to be. Could have been shady, but I understood. No, no, no. I was saying I could have been shady.

If I were in high school, I would have loved this. But now I'm sitting at home. With like a 15-year-old emotional intelligence, this would really kill. No, what I meant was like, that was the first time I can remember becoming like really into a comedy album. And just looking really, just trying to desperately grasp at your role model.

Yeah. There were so many, I, it just, it took me back to that place in a way that I remembered being that age and like discovering all the Margaret Cho albums and like, you know, I, I really loved Sandra Bernhardt and like discovering all the Margaret Cho albums and like you know I really loved Sandra Bernhardt and like I just it gave me the feeling of

wow I could listen to this album a lot yeah and I feel the same way yeah but you can't say anything original about it say your original something original about the taping. Glowing take about Joel and his work. Say something about my album. Here you go. This is someone who has had such a textured life. Look at him in his eyes. No, no, no. Because this is a scholarly academic assessment. No, here's the thing.

In all seriousness, it's an amazing album because Joel has an amazing story. And he's able to speak from, and sorry to get all identity politic-y, he's able to speak from and sorry to get all identity politicky. He's able to speak from this queer Asian perspective. But it's also it also is just sort of textured and framed by all these other amazing things that like are so specific to him and no one else can talk about. And it's it's one amazing on a like on an experiential life experience storytelling level. But two, it's just filled with jokes baby and it's so good

it's so good yeah I would like to hit that it is filled with jokes yeah it's filled with jokes guys I listened to it the whole way through both nights and enjoyed myself both times it has a replay value bitch

this is one of Joel's strengths as a stand-up. He is a master at crowd work and he had two very different nights of crowd work. Well, and here's the thing. Here's a little secret. Peek behind the curtain,

if you will, about this. Is I listened to both nights and I went to Comedy Central and I said, I love both these nights of crowd work. Can we stitch it together and make it sound like one night and I and they're he's dying he's dying he was dying and I said and they said uh not for all of it but there is um

I like to interrogate people about I think the there's a part in the show where I talk to couples specifically, I interview couples, and straight men. And both of those, we were able to stitch together and it sounds seamless. It actually, they did a really good job of making it sound like I just jumped from, and I just did, two couples. I was going to say, I thought you were going to say that it seems seamless in that it feels like it's the same straight guy. No, no, no. It is just like, it sounds like I'm like, okay, I'm done talking to you and now I'm going to go over here and talk to some other people.

That's brilliant. Because I, it's one of, I, I have, I come from a place of you know the imposter syndrome I don't like to talk myself up

but I will say one thing that I do feel very confident about my comedic abilities is crowd work and I love doing it and I am very proud of that aspect of the album not everyone is good at that I don't love it not that I do stand up but like you know like aspect of the album. Not everyone is good at that. I don't love it. I don't love, I don't love,

not that I do stand up, but like, you know, like I, I enjoy an audience's energy, but if someone were to like, like I've never, this actually is true.

I've never been heckled. And I feel like if I ever were to be, that would really throw me off. Oh yeah. Um, but Joel, Joel is just so good at, well, first of all, he's just so quick, but second of all, is just so good at is first of all he's just so quick but second of all yeah very smart with any kind of person he knows how to just tailor his response

to things and his line of questioning yeah yeah what would you say to a kind of person that was like really tall okay okay so imagine they're like seven foot tall. I love that, yeah. And they start to say loudly to their girlfriend, when's the next comic? What would you say to that seven foot tall person? And that's the only thing. Hey, imagine this. I am the comic and Bowen is my girlfriend,

who's a normal height. Okay. You're the comic or you're the guy? No, I'm the guy. I'm the guy. Hey, when's the next comic? Hey, hey. I don't know what's going on up where you are, buddy, but down here we're having a comedy show.

Honestly, yeah. That shut me right up. I liked it. It made me laugh and so self-conscious about my height, but in a way that it was inviting. You know, I love to go to an absurd place as though there's something different happening up there. Up there? What am I talking about up there?

That is so, that is true because truth in comedy. True blue. Guys, I'm really jet lagged, and so I'm not really giving my all right right now like intellectually I'm just I know this is I just want to one-up Joel's inferiority complex um I don't think I'm really I don't think I'm just giving the listeners what they want and I think as a listener this is crazy as someone who's been sitting here as both a guest and a listener I can say that you're giving me everything I wanted that's so crazy for you to a guest and a listener, I can say that you're giving me everything I wanted.

That's so crazy for you to interrupt an amazing moment. No, I want to make this about me. First of all, I haven't had time to talk about my trip. Yeah, I was actually just about to say, let's turn it to, because I've come back from Australia before, and it's tough. I can't believe you're even standing up right now. And this is the first time Joel and I have seen each other in many, many weeks. And I texted you this while I was in New Zealand.

I go, let me see if I can pull up. No, it doesn't matter. No, pull it up. I want you to. I know what you're talking about. I was getting like a bunch, a bunch, a bunch of messages on the apps. The gay dating and sexual apps. The gay apps.

And I did not act on any of them. Oh, why? So Yang, my sister, if you're listening to this, don't worry. I was with my parents the whole time. Why is she judging? I would have rather,

because she probably would have like had a conniption. Anyway. Relax. No, no, no, it's fine. Hi, Yang. What did I text Joel? But anyway,

I was just going to say people down there are much more receptive to Asians on the apps. And it's maybe because there's a bunch of them around. I think, yeah. I think it's a growing up around. It's a growing up around them thing.

It's like, oh, yeah, this is like these are most. This is like billions of people in the world are Asian. I will say I think re-attraction to Asian men or not attraction to Asian men. The guys who are attracted to Asian men, it's either a reaction to not growing up or not experiencing them as a young person and sort of the exoticism of us. Yep.

Yeah. Or it's a chill sort of, oh yeah, I grew up around Asian people. You're just regular human beings. I've been inoculated. I've been fucking them since I was a child. Exactly. I said,

OMG was not expecting this, but New Zealand is a rice queen slash Asian paradise for both. Like both sides benefit. And then Joel responded, OMG, Australia sort of was, but maybe NZ is better. Well, you know, NZ, New Zealand goddess, you know, famously dated that Asian man. Lord. Lord. And rice. I've been following around the country. It's a great concert. NZ New Zealand goddess you know famously dated that Asian man Lord Lord

and I've been following around the country is a great concert I suggest oh yeah you haven't you've been to multiple Lord concerts

wait seriously I have been to two Lord concerts this in the last three months how is she live she's fantastic live she is still a teenager

and that comes out in that she likes to over explain the song sometimes so she's like this is melodrama this is what it means to me and that's all you're gonna get and uh and it's like okay we get it but she does cool things like i was so concerned about her in seattle her shoes were untied on stage and i was like screaming at her i was very close to the stage and i was like your shoes are untied and she looked down noticed that her shoes were untied took them off and gave them to a teen

girl in the audience you could have saved her life that girl doesn't have shoes I know it I gave her my shoes this is melodrama your accents are first of all I just want to say I wanted to tweet this out but I just didn't feel like it would read. Ooh, exclusive content. Everyone, you know how people just like default to an Australian accent as like a bit? I feel, and I just want to say, everyone's nailing it. So accurate. That's a funny tweet. That's a funny tweet.

You should do it. You know what? Maybe I will. But I just wanted to workshop it here. But yeah, I? Maybe I will. But I just wanted to workshop it here. I can't believe you didn't indulge. I love going to the West Coast. I love going to the Pacific Northwest.

I famously told you Seattle is also a great place. Seattle changed the way I looked at my own body. Okay. Explain this. Just because people were into it? Because I had sex with a literal gymnast and i said you know what this is what i deserve yes and it's ruined me for men in new york because now i i i would say about 60 of the men i've had sex with in over my lifetime i have not been

attracted to and i've just had sex with because i felt like it's what i deserve in new york specifically just no in in my entire life just since your entire life. Just since I started having sex. And now I say no. And I say, I'm going to hold out for a fucking Russian gymnast who might be trying to pump me for information about the States. There you go. But was it fun? Yes.

It's ultimately a scarcity problem, though, because I had all these messages over there. And then yesterday, literally yesterday, as I fly back in, open up my apps, leave my traps on overnight, wake up the next morning, nothing. And I'm like, oh yeah,

this is what I'm used to. And it's stupid. Anyway. But you know what? Doesn't it feel great to feel hot though? Because that's what it is. I had this whole bit going where I was like, I'm hot Bowen down here.

And it actually was because I was getting that positive feedback. It's terrifying how the apps affect your self-esteem and I should get off them. You know, I bought Tinder goals. So did I. No.

We talked about this. And the draw is that you get to see who's already swiped right on you. And I thought, wow, I want to see that. I want to see who I've been neglecting. Who your markets are. And it is 300 men that I am deeply not attracted to. I think we talked about this before I left because I think we had both activated this. And you were like, not one.

You were like, you asked me, like, do you have one conventionally attractive person in your likes already? And I was like, nope. No. But then down there. Everybody. Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous men. And I was like, this is it is such a strange like the venn diagram of men that i'm attracted to and who are also attracted to me is

a very slim margin in this city but it's a regional thing and that's yeah i i honestly i left seattle being like i should live here just for the sake of fucking these gymnasts. I will say that I left Sydney being like, I should just come back on my own and have a fuck vacation. Yeah, a walkabout. A sexual walkabout. That's the title. Sexual walkabout. Write it down, HPJ.

The three of us are all very single right now. It's officially cuffing season. I am so lonely.'m so that's what that was that's what i realized when i flew back in yesterday i was almost talking about that before i was watching edge of 17 on the plane which some people were saying was like the new mean i like it i thought i was i don't i heard you say on the last pod that it was uh maybe uh like that and i don't think so yeah but we would have been hearing more about it if it was. Asian romantic lead. Yes.

He was very nice and very hot. And also a good depiction, I think, of just being a teenager. Yes. They were all terrible and unlikable. And that's very real. And Haley turned out a great performance. I prefer Haley as an actor. She's very talented.

Yeah, me too. I wish she would just stay in her lane. Stay in her lane. I don't need her. It's her people making her do it. I don't need her singing heartbeat song or whatever. No, I don't think it's her lane. Stay in her lane. I don't need her. It's her people making her do it. I don't need her singing heartbeat song or whatever. No, I don't think it's her people. I think she genuinely, like, after she hung out with Taylor Swift one night,

was like, oh, I want to go to the VMAs every year. All of her songs are like, everybody's doing blow, but I've got my headphones on in the corner. I love Touch Myself. She sounds like the worst person at a party. Hey, go touch myself. No, I don't need anybody else! I wish she would just,

I wish she would admit that that is about masturbation. She hasn't admitted it? She actually has point blank refused. Oh, love myself. No, no, no, no, no. Refused to admit

that it's about masturbation and it's so clearly about masturbation and I wish she would just own that. See, as, okay, and just getting back to Lorde, as precocious

and like Dakota Fanning-esque as she is. She's so smart. She's so smart. And, like, on talk shows, like, she was able to go on The Tonight Show and make that an engaging interview with Jimmy Fallon. Yeah, she's very articulate. She's very articulate. So charming. So funny.

And, like, that was right when, like, it came out that she had this secret Onion Ring Instagram account where she reviews onion rings. And she was just so, like, perfectly so like perfectly like embarrassed by it but also like but no I love Onion Rings like oh wait you're like a cool person I don't know I love Lorde too and the new album I think there was one of the best pop albums but people were only listening to it for like a week and then like they moved on to like

fucking I don't know I'm listening to Demi Lovato's album right now and I'm I'm whopping it no because listen she has a song on it called Daddy Issues. Lucky for you, I got all these daddy issues. And it's such a good- Producer Joe, please turn off the spot. We can't keep listening.

I'm going crazy when I'm with you. And see that crack? That's classic Demi. Classic Demi. And that interval is classic Demi. But look, such a good hook on that song, but it's such an uncomfortable lyric. It is uncomfortable.

And actually, the other day, my Spotify was acting up, and for some reason, the song was gone from the synced album, and I was like, oh my God, someone had a problem with it, and she had to take it off the album. But then it was just my Spotify being a little fucka fuckaer but you know what i think this is a great opportunity um a couple episodes ago mike kelton introduced us to maggie rogers uh and then we've been hooked on her i am hooked on her because of that podcast she's really so good she's really good and i think she listened to either the full episode or a snippet of it where we talked about her where kelton talked

about her um uh But she's fantastic. Go check her out. She tweeted us that she had a giggle fit listening to us. Maggie, we love you. And here's some other divas that I want to shout out really quickly. Julia Michaels, she has a little EP out called Nervous System. She was on the VMAs. She was on the VMAs, and she had, right,

where they did the whole new artist thing, and they cut them off. They cut her off, and you know who angrily tweeted? Who? Adam Levine. And I love, i stand famously for adam i fucking love adam are you watching the voices here of course and i think jennifer is doing such a fantastic jennifer is she's come alive on the voice in a way that we've never never seen her never seen the personality like this i love it i know and i love her music i love j J-Hud, her last album.

And I just rediscovered it at the airport months ago, and it was so good. It's still so good. It still holds up. Yeah, there's a lot of good Jennifer Hudson music. Such good gems. But Julia Michaels, guys, check her out. She's got a song called Make It Up To You.

It's so good. And then, you know, just divas popping up everywhere. Divas, I love divas. Guys, jet-lagged. Guys, jet lagged. So jet lagged. I'm losing my mind. You said you wanted to shout out some divas and send one diva and then send divas, divas, I love divas.

You said divas, divas, I love divas. Can we cut that out? No. Nope. No. Shakespeare. So unfair. Divas, divas, I love divas. That's So unfair. Divas. Divas.

I love divas. That's a real moment for you. This is such a double standard. Like I say something. Whatever. Whatever. What are you about to say? I say something that is just, you know, not a graceful sequence of words.

And I just, you know, for my own... As compared to who? As compared to you and you... That's because I landed. You have to self-edit. This is such a classic dynamic that you two have. I texted you early

in your podcasting careers. I said, you two are the Mary and Martha of podcasting. And then I thought it was like a biblical reference. It is a biblical reference. No, no, no. First, I thought it was like a radio, like a talk radio And then I thought it was like a biblical reference. It is a biblical reference. It is a biblical reference. Oh, no, no, no.

First, I thought it was like a radio, like a talk radio reference. I thought it was Mary Tyler Moore and some lady named Martha on that show. It's from the fucking Bible, bitch.

Can you talk to us? Because you are, of course, a Bible scholar. A Bible scholar. Bible scholar. Mary and Martha, there's this famous story of Jesus was going to go

to Mary and Martha's house. Oh, my God. Who is Martha? She's just a lady. She's just a broad. All right. And I will get them is Martha? She's just a lady. She's just a broad. All right. And I will get them mixed up because it has been a while,

but I believe Mary is like, I'm just going to chill and I'm going to talk to Jesus. This is fun. And Martha's like, no, we got to get the house ready. We got to prepare. This is a celebrity.

This is a person. I want to make this an event. I don't want this to just be us sitting around and talking out of our assholes. This is Mary Magdalene? No is different Mary there's a lot and not even the Mary the mother no no no this is a completely unrelated man a third yeah Mary and so and and then Jesus is like uh-uh Martha actually Mary your

girl Mary had it right you should just use I don't get I don't care about the place settings I want to talk to you. Wow. So I was right. Well, Joel is right. Well, and that's where the comparison goes awry, I think. I don't think so, Joel. I think it's good because the Bible tells me so. But no, in the end um okay so and I misquoted Joel later on by saying

that Joel called Matt the bull in the china shop and I was the shopkeep which is again I think a fair because I think Matt just like wreaks havoc we are a song of ice and fire yeah and that is very true Joel will have

to decide. And I'm going to be very fair. I don't know if that's possible anymore because you've self-sabotaged your own team. Your decisions are your decisions. If he's going to be unbiased, it's going to be

because of things that you did. Anything prior to the show, which is on November 7th, the day after my birthday. I don't care about that, and neither does anyone. Let's just say that. One year older. Okay, so I don't think anything prior to the show should be taken into account in the judging. That's all.

I won't be. Don't worry. It won't be. But it seems like it's- Don't worry about all. I won't be. Don't worry. It won't be. But it seems like it's- Don't worry about it. It won't be. The waters are muddy. Don't worry about it.

It won't be. You know, I just can't imagine being you. Don't bring shit into my room if you don't want me to put it on my bed. Thank you. That was very Rajian. Very Rajian. Don't bring shit into my room if you don't think I'm gonna put it on my bed Just these senseless aphorisms

But you Can you, can you refute it? Can you Okay, okay, give me a second, give me a second This is a podcast, do you think people want to hear dead air while you think? If you don't want me to bring shit into your room No You better house train me because I am a dog. What?

That make sense? No, it doesn't. I'm so jet lagged. I'm so jet lagged. Talk about nonsense. I don't know. Oh, my God. I'm so lonely.

All I'm going to say. I'm so lonely. All I'm going to say. All I'm going to say. November 7th at 830 on the stage at Villain, I will be thrashing in the waters. But how involved are you in these? Aren't I judging Pat Regan and Chrissy Shackelford?

Yes, absolutely. I think that we're just going to be truly merely figureheads for our team. Perhaps there will be an I Don't Think So Honey up top between us to find out whose team will go first or second. I would love some behind-the-scenes coaching. I would if you could do the production values up it a little bit

and maybe give us a behind-the-scenes. I will be working with my girls. I will be working with my girls. And I will be working with my mix of genders, not even just two. Wow, that seems like... Well, I don't know. You just like really gendered it. So you sort of...

Yeah, you brought that to the table. You sort of drew first blood. Everyone is my girls. Okay, well, I just want to say that... Well, actually now I think I'm going to be pre... I'm going to come in... Don't do this. ...anti-Matt instead of anti-Bowen.

Why would you say that? Preconceived. Well, I mean, to be fair i like i said nothing should be taken into account before the show but this is just if anything now you're even sure and this is just indicative of matt's um the tenor of the conversation that matt sets and so i just want people to be very aware of that that i am playing by the rules here that i am bringing in a team um that is very very very um polished and tame and will not resort to low kicks when matt goes low you go high i go high and um i do this is what i meant to talk about earlier the three of us are all very lonely i the crispness in the air makes me want companionship. So I want us to make a pact on the record.

Nobody gets a boyfriend if we all don't get boyfriends. There you go. And it's self-fulfilling, but it still works. Why are you pointing to me? I'm pointing at the royal air. The royal we. Okay? So the royal air.

I know I'll never love again. Okay. I know I'll never love this way again. So I keep holding on. Joe, you gotta turn off Spotify. Before the good is gone. You guys, the royalties on this episode alone. Turn off this Julia Michaels track.

Okay. I think it's time. Oh, no. I think it's time. For I Don't Think So, Honey. And this is our first two-time guest. Yeah, last time, I feel like this is my first true I Don't Think So, Honey. Yes, because last time.

Because last time you made me come for a fucking city. We did locations. And you know what? Because famously you were going to move to LA. That was when that was happening. Oh, my God. And we had just the most basic conversation about the differences between New York and L.A. And I had to come for St. Louis.

And since then I have traveled the nation. Yes. And I would say, retroactively, I would say Phoenix is maybe the worst place I've ever been. Okay. Okay, cool. Well, a lot of friends who went to ASU who are not friends, but high school classmates who went there.

And I bet you they're trash. They're trash. They're trash. Yeah. This is going to be Bowen Yang's I Don't Think So Honey because he said he had one. Well, no,

that was during the break when these girls were being loud across the hall. But I want to make, okay, um, all right, all right, yeah, okay. Bowen Yangs, I don't think so, honey, and this time starts now.

I don't think so, honey. British Commonwealth countries where you drive on the left side of the fucking road and the right side of the fucking car? Bitch, do not turn my world, not upside down, but inverted? Inverted.

I don't think so, honey. I almost got into many car crashes! I didn't do any of the driving. That was all my brother-in-law. God bless you, Brian. Thank you so much. Or I should say, Adonai bless you.

I don't know, he's Jewish. I'm not Jewish, but I'm a mensch. I'm a goy mensch, and my sister's Jewish now, and I feel like I know some of the culture, but not all of it. So please forgive me as this is a learning curve for me

I just want to turn this I don't think so honey around and just really talk about my spiritual journey and how I want to believe in God but I don't know how to go about that and I'm really glad and grateful that Australia was able and the driving on the side

of the road sort of led me to this place spiritually I'm looking for a religion. Um, if it's a cult, fine, that's a bonus. It's more, it's more organized.

It's more structured. That's one minute. Okay. What happened? I'm jet lagged. I swear to God. And English is not my first language. Need I remind you?

So, um, you know, excuses are coming. That was crazy. Fast and furious. So I'm coming off less than and furious. I'm so tired. I'm coming off less than 24 hours.

No, I will say, as a fellow traveler who's come back from Australia, it is the worst jet lag you can experience. It's so bad. It's awful. I felt insane for a week. Get ready. Buckle up, bitch. No, damn it.

And so I'm sorry, listeners. I'm never going. Oh, and you know what? You know what was so nice? And this isn't me just tooting the podcast horn or anything but went to new zealand and fucking like a bunch of people came in with recommendations of where to go we have a lot of kiwi listeners hello everybody um we have some aussie listeners too really some great people just giving me recommendations for where to go. International, turn up! International smile, Katy Perry.

And you know what? Shout out to Anthony in Brisbane, my birth city. He gave me so many great recommendations. He told me to go to the Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary where Beyonce rolls every time she's in Australia where all the drag queens from Drag Race go when they're in Australia to hold the koalas. And it was such a life-changing experience. Koalas are my new favorite animal. And I do think so honey koalas. And kangaroos.

Oh, I don't think so honey kangaroos, but that's for another one. That's for another episode. Kangaroos, they're dirty. They're the deer of Australia. They're the deer of Australia. They're just so common. People don't give a shit about kangaroos.

They just go up and shoot them because you know why they're they're overpopulated and then if you don't think i like three vaginas too something like that but if you don't this our tour guy was saying if you don't kill don't they got like three vaginas too turn off the spotify joe um our tour guy was telling us if you if if they don't population control the kangaroos and like straight up Shoot them in the face Like the populations will fucking Disrupt the food chain

And then they'll go extinct It actually makes them more extinct To let their populations go unchecked So they have to control the populations And These are solid tongue clicks Alright Matt it's your turn okay

this is Matt Rogers' I don't think so honey hopefully his will be more cohesive than mine his time starts now I don't think so honey koala bears yo bitch is trying to

take my place I see you in the arms of my man get the fuck out of here koala bears you think you're so fucking cute

little bitch you can't fuck with Bowen. Because let me tell you something. I saw the look in his eyes and the glow in his face, and I've seen that look before. It was the first time he looked at me. He saw me at the sketch comedy show in college, and I was his koala then.

And all you stupid bears, you little bears, marsupial ass bitch. Get out of here. Marsupial is a made up genus. Let me tell you something, koala bears. You're so good. Why don't you live in another continent? 15 seconds.

What? You can't make it across the ocean? Guess what, bitch? You are low in the food chain. If I ever see you I'll kill you I don't care that you live I'm a human being and I stand atop the chain

And I spit on everyone below me And that's one minute How dare you This is the one thing that's made me happy I love you And you only belong to me And I'm your only friend You don't have koala friends

This is a prison I love koalas so much They don't know enough to love you back Let me tell you something I didn't used to have a favorite animal You were holding that koala I didn't grow up with a favorite animal Bowen, you're back here now

And this is your reality. Me. There's no koalas. You have me. And now you know where you are. I'm actually crying. I'm so emotional. They don't exist really to you.

They're not part of your world. I am. No. I'm your favorite animal. My jailer My jailer This is like I feel like

I am watching something Deeply upsetting Transpire This is the power This is Joel Kim Booth I don't think so honey As time starts now I don't think so honey

Bowen Yang and Matt Rogers I don't think so honey For the past several weeks Whatever happened To I don't think so honey Being about the culture bitch I Don't Think So Honeys for the past several weeks. Whatever happened to I Don't Think So Honey being about the culture, bitch? I Don't Think So Honey, you coming in here with I Don't Think So Honey is about

ripped jeans and some fucking bigot on the train? I Don't Think So Honey, how is that about culture? Come in here and play by your own goddamn rules. I Don't Think So Honey, you coming in here and just talking about any old thing in your day that bothers you. You created this forum. You created the rules. I don't think so, honey. You coming in here and just talking about any old thing in your day that bothers you. You created this forum.

You created the rules. You said something in the culture. I don't think so, honey. You just coming in here and using your platform to complain about your days. These people come to this podcast to hear about culture. They want to hear, and I don't think so, honey, about song, about dance, about acting, about television, about culture. They want to hear an I don't think so honey about song, about dance, about acting, about television,

about movies. I don't think so honey you talking about egg salad, about koalas, about driving on the wrong side of the road or whatever shit you just spewed out

in your I don't think so honey. I don't think so honey the institution of I don't think so honey being dragged down by you two. That's more than enough. I want to let you know. You have not just insulted us.

You have insulted Joe Firestone for it is she that discussed egg salad. I know. And actually, we had a great text conversation because I have eaten an egg salad sandwich in a bus bathroom because I was so ashamed to eat it on the bus. That's a low point. How dare you come for us? How dare you ever? Talking about jeans, every time I hear your goddamn stinky asses

coming on this podcast. Stinky ass? I have a washed ass. Bitch, a boat couldn't dredge you from the bottom of the fucking Hudson. Here she is. Here she is. Here she is. She's awake. Oh, she's awake now.

Oh my God. Talking about religion before. Not even a complaint, really. Just a request. That was crazy. Guys. I am being so real and raw with our listeners. And you have seen me be so vulnerable before.

And I just want to say that I wish the two people sitting next to me could let their guards down like that. I let my guard down on a regular basis. I tell everyone the most plain truths about myself. You know what? I will say this. And this is true tea. The three of us are very emotionally available. Yeah.

And- We're like gaping wounds. Yeah. With legs. We're just voids and- Just gashes. Gashes with no connective tissue between the fleshy walls of our fucking, yeah, of our- Okay, now I'm dipping back.

Yeah. She's awake. She's tired again. We got her back for a minute. She's tired again. yeah of our okay now I'm now I'm dipping back yeah she's she's tired again we got her back for a minute she's tired again we are just just

just you're not just oh oh bitch I can see your sugar your blood sugar drop oh my god you're so tired

alright maybe we gotta go no but okay no but listen I don't want I don't want to end the episode with Joel let's end joel you're entering let's end on my plugs let's end on what i came here to do which is please watch my comedy

central special you can check it out on the app now yes you can pre-order my album metal minority out november 3rd out november 3rd and on november 4th bitch guess where you can come and see me and bowen yang if you live in philly bitch you can come to the me and Bowen Yang. If you live in Philly, bitch, you can come to the Good Good Comedy Theater. And Matt, you can come. What are you guys doing there? I'm headlining Good Good, and I asked Bowen to accompany me. And guess what, bitch? It is Bowen's birthday, so I got a separate hotel room.

What? You're finding yourself now. Maybe I'll buy you a prostitute. Maybe I won't. I don't know. You should get a prostitute. Get me a prostitute. I will say Philly, if we're going to talk about regional grinder responsiveness, was not that bad.

I'm excited to go to Philly. You guys made it sound really fun, the gay scene. Oh, yeah. I love that their gayborhood is called the gayborhood. The gayborhood. No, literally, not even a portmanteau. It's called gay neighborhood. Right, HPJ? Yeah. Yeah, okay. HPJ can confirm. I'm excited. It'sj i'm excited um so yeah if you live in philly tell us meet us out for bone's birthday meet us

out for bone's birthday and you know what this head out to philly and maybe you too can hook up with a producer of america's got talent like matt did when we went that's right and it and you know what it was very fun i had the whole bed to myself. Oh, no. So it was me, Matt, Sam Taggart, and Philip Markle who shared a room. And both Matt and Philip paired off with their own locals. And so Sam and I had beds to ourselves. And we just stayed up the whole night and talked like we were in the fifth grade at a sleepover. It was really cute. Me and Sam.

That was a nice bonding moment for me and Sam. Maybe I will cancel the second room. This sounds fun. No, yeah. I can just come over because I probably will. Share a Prostaflute. No, I think Philly, we're going to make this happen for both Bowen and I. But Bowen takes priority because it's his birthday weekend.

But also Joel is headlining at Good Good. And so, you know, just if you're going to be a star fucker, just do it. Do it with Joel. You know, you he's he's you could do worse you could do worse man i really do think you should come i don't think i can get you on the show but i would you should just come i think we need yeah i think we need you there matt we'll we'll talk about this we'll think about we'll talk about this off mic i will have every man in philly and leave you both with nothing and also no oh no you know it no um sexual walkabout in philly i think we make that competitive and bring in a third partyparty judge. Okay, fourth-party judge. Speaking of judges, Joel will judge Cold Shwar on

November 7th. Check out his album. Check out his half-hour. Check him out very soon. We won't wait. Root for me. Root for Joel. We won't wait very long for another cool thing to happen to Joel. I'm sure of it. And meanwhile, he's just a little

whimpering thing over there what are you what are you begging for I just you root for me we root for you we do

I don't feel I don't feel we are rooting for you this has gone awful this is a full 10 minutes post I don't think so I think

goodbye goodbye oh wait hold on Let's just hear that track one more time Can we hear some Come From Away I can't believe this plane Got delayed

We'll never get back To America And when I Got deported I found My heart With love Oh I got deported, I found my heart with love. Oh, oh. The new

album by Jen Colella. I don't know. Forever Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com

and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team and liking our page on Facebook. On Thanksgiving Day 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami? Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. I was a desperate delusional dreamer.

Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes.

We're spilling all the behind-the-scenes stories, crazy details, and honestly, just having a blast talking football. Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all times, from legends to our buddies to current stars. We're finally answering the age-old question, what kind of dudes are these dudes? We're going to find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season.

Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Cheryl Swoops. And I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby. And on our new podcast, we're talking about

the real obstacles women face day to day. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women. And T and I have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tariqa Foster-Brasby, an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.