Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - "S.O.L. (Shit Outta Luck)" (w/ Celeste Yim)

Episode Date: June 9, 2021

Readers? This episode is gonna be perfect for you. It's a hot, sweaty threesome of an ep with the luminous and hilarious Celeste Yim (SNL), who is a straight up film festival brat, former prodigious torrenter, and low key roast master that Matt and Bow are simply tickled to have on the damn show! On this ep, JUNO as both a script and film, and extended flowers-giving to Diablo Cody, Jennifer Garner and Elliot Page. Also, Jennifer's Body and Whip It! as underrated pieces of cinema, the moments that all the fools on this ep learned that writing was something they could even do, a Top Chef and Padma check-in, occasionally feeling shame about liking, pursuing and doing comedy, wi-fi drama that is actually compelling, and the answer to the question "Where do we stand on 'hamburger phone' being a thing?" All this, anger at reservation culture, how Disneyland is a struggle as of late, and an attack on sunsets by Bowen with one of the hottest takes of all time. Listen now, or you'll be S.O.L. ...... bitch!!!!!! Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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podcasts. Look, man. Oh, I see. Wow. Oh, look over there. Wow, is that culture? Yes. Oh, yeah. Las Culturistas. Ding dong. Las Culturistas. Ding dong. Las Culturistas calling. Bowen couldn't let me have one thing and he had a threesome this week.

Excuse. Oh my God. You couldn't let me have one thing. Give me one second. You weren't going right into it. Okay, fine. What do you mean you couldn't let me? You had a threesome last week.

I had a threesome last week and it was major news in my life and then i get a text oh my god you'll never guess what happened last night by happenstance i had a threesome too don't do this queen you're right let's cut this and start over no we're not gonna do that do you are you hurt that i had a threesome no no no i was really it was really just a sort of clever way pithy way of me to sort of talk about the threesome because I want to know

because you did it off Grindr yes I don't want to reveal the mechanics well not to say that they

were mechanics they did not have a threesome with mechanics and it'll be fine if you did some of them are gay

it's actually real culture number 49 mechanics some of them are gay. It's actually real culture number 49. Mechanics. Some of them are gay. Just because in film and television you see them often presented as a straight man does not mean there aren't gay mechanics out there.

We see you. Everybody, fuck a blue-collar queer this summer. That's all we're saying. Fuck a real working-class person. If Mayor of Easttown has shown us anything... You said you better fuck a real working class person. There are fucking people out there. Even if they're a cop,

like mayor, right? All cops, all mayors are bad, including mayor. Now I did see a bit of feedback last week that people thought that we spent too much time on myred for Ramona Singer and not as much time on your threesome. Well, we don't have to return. I just simply wanted to say

that I now share with my sister the threesome experience. Oh, but I had one moment before years ago. I didn't know about that. Kind of tragic. I like went to Someone died? No, no, no, no, no. Not that kind of tragic. But... Well, Shakespeare Someone died? No, no, no, no, no.

Not that kind of tragic, but... Well, Shakespeare would say there's really no other kind, but go on. Shakespeare would say that? Yeah, he would. He actually defined tragedy as a death at the end. Hmm, interesting. Read on.

Okay, I apologize. We don't have to get into that. Actually, no, I don't feel comfortable talking about this. Because you know what I forget is that... What? Your parents listen? Or just that mixed company listens. Like, I should treat the pod more as mixed company.

Do you know what I mean? Sometimes. I don't mean to... I think what's nice is that I get to talk about stuff. We both get to talk about things without... We're not playing to the audience necessarily all the time. Yeah, no, never. Never.

So that's all I want to say. You're patronizing me. Are you sort of having sort of a hangover about I don't think so honey cocaine? No, I stand by it. I think I don't think so honey cocaine is one of my better. I don't have too many great I don't think so honeys. Stop.

It's true. I think that was one of my better ones. I think it was fantastic and it was in a serotonin crater that i was able to like produce that that text that work and it should it really should open up a conversation about where do i produce the best work from emotionally and sometimes i might mean it you know on a on a on a comedown from a party drug, but just kidding. I won't do that. I gotta tell you, it's your reminder to yourself to treat the public

like it's mixed company is really a reminder to me as well. Because I was actually going to get on here and I was going to do, I don't think so, honey, wiggly bottoms. And now you're... Well, I actually... I think you should still do this. Okay, because I had an experience on the

app grinder the other night where i dealt with a bottom that was too wiggly wiggling around like a damn worm and i'm telling you what are you talking is this wiggly in like the fucking like this girl like well first of all not not but like imagine like like for so famously during sex you're trying to get one thing into another. Oftentimes, oftentimes. I mean, if you're centralizing penetration, then yeah. Oh my God. Sometimes on this podcast, I have to take a deep breath readers.

Sometimes on this podcast, I have to take such a deep breath that I cough. Did you ever take such a deep breath and inhale an intake of air so sharp that you cough? That's how I feel on this podcast sometimes with the way I get spoken to. Anyway, I was trying to get my dick in. Thick deck into a

thick deck into a b-hole and this bottom was wiggling like a damn jumping beam. and and he was he was like was he trying to be sexy i think it was a mixture of yeah i'm i'm sexy and also i want the dick bad and i i i gotta tell you i want to get it in there bad but you can't be wiggling around like a wiggle worm imagine imagine the Code Black episode of Grey's Anatomy. And the fucking patient, the guy who got the fucking artillery shell in his fucking chest and his abdomen was wiggling around while Meredith was like,

Sir, I'm trying to see my boyfriend again. It was not unlike that. It was not unlike that. Or if it was Christina Ricci was like, I'm just 20, I'm 22 years old. Oh my God, that's a moment.

Wow, the transition from, from this wiggly bottom story to Christina Ricci is good. Only on Lost Couch. Only on Lost Couch. Did you, did you see,

this, this, this New York Magazine cover, this, this, this, that came out this week? The Return of FOMO.

And ooh, we better talk about this. The Return of FOMO? Oh, yes. Because I think this week, and specifically, I went to a park gathering yesterday, and it was with a friend of the pod, Stradio Lab co-host, George Severus. Love. Was he looking like a damn stud? He looked great.

Oh, he always does it was george and his boyfriend who wrote the cover story matthew schneier and we all like there was a low on the conversation and then i all all three of us including and then misha our friend misha towns and all four of us were like wait are we all hung over right now oh yeah and also um we have been so over stimulated in our social lives this week in particular that we're just like there's nothing to talk about like exactly it was like it was like we there was just um there was just such an early a little such a low ceiling on what to talk about you're making a face no i'm actually i'm identifying okay the face i'm making is is one of recognition because and that is that is a facial

expression recognition is a facial expression that goes like this a facial expression. It goes like this. You do it. Yeah. Can I do mine? Yeah. Yes, queen. Queen, yes. King Slay with that face. Thank you.

You did it. You did it. Thank you. Now, can I say, also, it is, of course, famously June, the pride month, the month of, and let the readers know I'm doing air quotes pride pride aka the month of be a bitch to your closest friends is upon us and one of my several of my closest friends are being such bitches to me it's unbelievable and the pride has month has barely even started has barely even started okay i don't mean to make this about me have i been a bitch to you

no this pride you have not been a bitch to me at all, but guess what? It's because you haven't really had much of an opportunity. I'm loathe to find out what's going to happen when I get to New York. I'm loathe to find out. Unexpression that I sort of know what it is. You are setting up a self-fulfilling prophecy that I will be a bitch to you.

No, are you saying I'm dress rehearsing the, are you saying I'm dress rehearsing tragedy? Yeah. Well, I'm not. I don't want, here's what's not gonna happen oh tell me king is that my god i'm first of all let me wiggle towards you right now wiggle fuck me with my thick deck bow and fuck me right now here's here's what's not gonna happen oh god here's what's not gonna to happen. You ready? Yeah. Can you take it? You're not going to set up a trap for me to fall into where I'm mean to you, I'm a bitch to you.

No. Where I maybe even call out some uncouth behavior that you are sort of acting out. This is to say that I ever behave in an uncouth manner. You're saying I believe in untoward manner no but i'm saying i don't want on the on the off chance on the edge case that you do i don't want case yeah you like that i can i tell you something yeah i am so fucking excited that you are coming to new york city for the for the first post vax pride pride in New York. Me too. Oh my god.

I can't tell you. And I, we're not, it's good vibes only, okay, you fucking bitch. I, you know I'm the good vibes. I know you, I get that too. It's everyone else that's bad vibes. You're right, you're right, you're right. And you're right. It seems like lately these days,

I will step into a space, good vibes, and everyone else is bad vibes and I'm like can I catch a goddamn break can I could I be any more of good vibes um speaking of good vibes oh my god shit shit

exclamation point our guests this I this this short I sound between shit and thick deck. I think you are leading into this this summer, and I really embrace that. Let me say. Go say something. This is a talent.

And I met our guest in, yes, the city of Toronto. Toronto. And it was when, actually, I Don't Think So Honey was being performed in Toronto. And you, Bo and Yang, were famously not at that show because I believe it was at one of the, during one of the performances of the show Saturday Night Live. Now, I was a first season writer at SNL. Yes. And I could not make it to that show.

But I remember when we posted that lineup, the comments, I remember this day. They were saying Celeste. Celeste. Celeste. Celeste. Often there were exclamation points after the word Celeste. They would say Celeste. Celeste. Exclamation. And we're sort of whispering because that's an Instagram scream.

They were saying Celeste. Celeste. They were really clamoring. And I was there hosting the show with one dave mizzoni and we walked away from that show and we said our favorite was and this is this is no shade on everyone but we left and there was a star and that was last and so then i am the opposite of loath to find, which I sort of know what it means. Sort of know. That Celeste had moved to New York City.

Now, at the time I was living there and every single time, I think every single time I booked a show, I said Celeste. And then I did come to a show where- You did come to my mind. You hosted a show, Club Coming, and then Celeste was one of the,

was on the lineup. And I thought- They did an iconic thing. Which lineup. They did an iconic thing. They did an iconic thing when they walked over to the piano and played a single note. I remember. I remember this moment. And that was Ali Main vibes down. A star is born. This was a new sort of...

I stumbled upon something new when I found out they had the musical talent as well. To sort of walk over to the piano, pluck out a single perfect note. Because that's the thing about playing one note. It's always perfect. That's why you don't play more than one. Because, you know. Oh my God, you're so right. You're so right.

Because if you play another note, then that is automatic context. Could sound bad. It makes the first note make no sense. is automatic context. Could sound bad. It makes the first note make no sense. Could sound bad. Could sound bad. And so can you talk about what happened with Time? With Time, they were a very celebrated writer. And then they were hired as a writer on SNL,

the only writer on SNL during its COVID season. Oh my God, the storied COVID season. There was very few things have been as hard as pulling off a season of snl during covid and it there's been wars and there's been this season of snl during covid and we have with us a survivor a survivor and and i'm telling you all when tom shales and james andrew mill Miller come out with their new edition of life from New York and uncensored oral history of Saturday night live. Oh,

can't wait. You're, you're going to get a little fucking pull quote from Celeste. Yeah. Our guest being like, yeah, it was crazy. Um,

you know, uh, it was, it was nuts. And then you'll be like, yes, no, that's not my impression of them,

but I, I think it'll be, they will give off that vibe of being like, it was cool. It was chill. So this is what's happened. Celeste had, I think, a banner first season at SNL. I was going to say banner. They're looking embarrassed. But truly worked on some truly, truly, truly fantastic texts,

we should say. And I think, you know, you're going to really know them going forward even more. And I think the best is yet to come. The best is yet to come. And I'm thrilled. Thrilled. Thrilled. To welcome to Lost Culture and into the ears of the readers. Into the ears of the readers.

The incredible, stunning, the spaces filled with beauty because there's towels and curtains hanging in a closet space surrounding our guest, Celeste! Yeah! Celeste, talk about how you're feeling. You guys,

I am pretty excited to learn how much um that you each are deputized to sort of stop mid-sentence and say we're gonna cut this out and let's take it no can i say it's usually never this much it's never this much i feel that we are in sort of can i and this is a compliment you. We're in a very comfortable place. Oh, and I feel that. No, you're insulted by that. I can tell. No, no, no.

To peek behind the curtain at this process. Listen to that. To see another... Did you hear that? No, we're not going to do this. Please. Stop. Don't do this.

You have something to say? Go ahead. I don't want to get this out. He perked up as soon as you said process. Sorry, what this. You have something to say? Go ahead. He perked up as soon as you said process. Sorry, what was I supposed to do? Not? But now we have to talk about Canadian accents.

Don't act like you're not hard as a rock. Don't act like you're not hard as a rock wanting to talk about Canada. Which I'm sure you both bonded over being from Canada. Please. We actually have not really like emotionally bonded over we've only talked about Canada in a

functional like how do we what do we pull from that's Canadian in order to service this piece of writing yeah wouldn't you agree in a requisite way it's been a sterile relationship it's been a very sterile discourse on Canada between the two

of us yeah would you agree yes as needed as needed it's it's it's at it's ad hoc it's an ad hoc discussion of canada yeah should we have this should we have this conversation now have it out well if you please okay so let's tell everyone where you grew up and what was canada like well guess what i'm from toronto okay actually that was already said and and we didn't say you were from there we just said you were you were there at a show that's true and can i yes this is controversial yes and i actually hesitate to to say No, you should say it. No, what? I actually was not at that show. What?

This is what happened. Yes, you were. Hold on. This is what happened. Everybody needs to calm down. I'm calm. What happened? I think that you've intuited something that is appropriate Which is that I helped

Recommend names for that show You did in fact okay In fact I think you were listed On the show Poster because you were to do The show well I had just moved To New York at the time This is what happened

But then what didn't happen was that Matt and Dave Left the show and said our favorite was Celeste. Okay, no, because I've done many other shows with Celeste. And almost every single time I leave it, I say they were my favorite bar none. There it is. And there it is. And, you know, that's why I remember you being such a big part of it is because you truly helped program it. Okay, fair, fair.

But I have to say that in listening to the story i felt that what you were saying was true it didn't it did not feel like a lie to me even though i intellectually had the knowledge to kind of recall upon that i in fact was you literally wanted to gas lighter big time i suppose that's true. And I guess what I should do is be like, sorry to say that you were somewhere where you weren't. But also I want to say that

actually kind of rocks. That you were the best part of a show you were. It's cool. I'm feeling pretty cool. But I did. Wait, you were not in Toronto at all at that time that's cuckoo to me i had just moved to brooklyn new york and i was so upset to have missed it and then i think you guys did one like uh like a very soon after that yeah like in new york and it

was you know what it was it It was, this is the oral history of Celeste. I don't think so, honey. Asked to do the Toronto version because everyone said when I asked, Oh, we asked them. We asked them

and then I was like, wait, who are the top people that I must ask? And it was everyone said, this is where we come in, Bowen, with the Celeste of it all.

Yes, yes. Because everyone was saying, Celeste, without a doubt, Celeste, there's no one else. And so I was like, Celeste. And so then I reached out to Celeste. Celeste says, moving to New York, got to do a show there. And I think at that point I was like, oh, you'll do the one in Brooklyn then because we're doing one imminently when we come back. Then Celeste programs I Don't Think So Honey Toronto.

I see. Okay. I'm looking through these email chains. Oh my god. Here we go. No, no, no. Celeste, you provided nine names. Unbelievable.

Can I actually read these emails? So Matt, we all sound cool? We all sound great, actually. Hey Celeste, Matt Rogers is boning

here for the podcast of the podcast Lost Cultureistas. And what's the date? What's the date? This is September 13th, 2018. We were given your

contact info from the side note boys and we would love to have you join us for a live show that we're doing called I Don't Think So Honey at JFL Toronto on September 29th. The concept of the show, boys, and we would love to have you join us for a live show that we're doing called. I don't think so. Honey, a JFL Toronto on September 29th,

uh, the concept of the show, blah, blah, blah. And then you say, thanks so much for reaching out. I love IDTSH and lost culture.

I'm so glad you're bringing the show to Toronto. You're going to love the audiences and it's going to be so mutual. I don't think I'm going to be back in Toronto that weekend. Unfortunately, I actually moved to Brooklyn in August. So I would love to do it here sometime. If you'll have me. Thanks again for us.

Okay. Is this actually getting uncomfortable? I mean, for Brooklyn in August, so I would love to do it here sometime if you'll have me. Thanks again for asking. Okay, is this actually getting uncomfortable? I mean, for sure. Oh. What? We said the same thing, I think. I just think it's very important that we get to the bottom of this on a factual level. Here's what's interesting.

There were... Most of the facts were true. Yeah. And that is astonishing. And that's, like, that's what that's what that's what could make it a movie like if we could make a movie of this and it could be based on a true story you know what i mean what happened was matt you are a writer and you have writer brain and and your brain was thinking what's the most compelling way of kind of bringing this history

to the public right to the public right and. To the public. Right. Huge. And what you came up with was a mostly true, extremely exciting, and very flattering story. Yeah. And it was about how you stole the show and our hearts. Yeah. And from then on, it was Celeste did every single show I ever booked

and was the standout of every single thing before she was hired as a writer on the show, Saturday night live and had, I believe what called what bone called a banner season. And, and, and this is that's, and that's heroic.

But Celeste, can you confirm if you did indeed play one single note at club coming before launching into a set? I have to be honest is extremely true. I love it. I love it i love it because you know who had been sort of tickling the keys before that was one henry kapurski who plays famously many notes he plays many notes sometimes all at once like different notes coming together to really create i believe what we what we call in the popular community the popular community of the of the pop those of us who are popular yes the the populace

the would refer to this as which means popular music and so to see henry sort of get up there and sort of work so hard playing all these notes and then to see celeste get up there play a single note and steal the show. Had to hurt. Had to hurt. And everyone's saying. And so far as music, it's what I always say to Henry. Work smarter, not harder. Smarter to harder.

Henry. Henry. Yeah. Absolutely. Pathetic. Pathetic. Ridiculous. Okay.

So it was Toronto. And then it was New York. And then that's been it. Yeah, and now it's closet in San Francisco. Do you want to talk about this little California journey you're on? Because you texted me last night while I was stoned out of my

mind. I texted Celeste last night. I was like we were just catching up and then at one point I just go, oh my god it might be because I'm stoned but I really do feel I'm watching the Queen's Gambit right now because I didn't finish it back in the fall I'm like god what a star whatever we were talking about

Anya Taylor you were talking about Anya yes yeah we were talking about Anya we were talking about Anya it's Anya is it Anya we're talking Anya and I wasn't at the show in Toronto Matt you're crazy wait this is actually

breaking news it's Anya Taylor Joy there was a moment in her monologue that got cut after dress where she there was a joke I believe written by the genius Anna Dresden that was it's Anya not Anya it's like Aneurysm which is

the best example I can come up with unfortunately that's funny but it's anya not anya it's and like anya rism which is the best example i can come up with unfortunately that's funny but it's a great it's a good mnemonic i actually think that was her joke not to fuck i mean we're getting all of this you guys have really have to read so much more we have to read that's actually true wait wait i have a question were you as taken with any anya as bowen was because bowen actually he doesn't always do this um because i feel like he doesn't want to be like uncool but he he doesn't he he'll sort of i'll be the one that asks like so how is so-and-so and i'll get a truthful answer from my sister i really usually it's like great usually everyone's everyone's good he never says bad he'll either say fine or he'll say great and for anya it was gotta say good vibes lover cool as hell

funny and down were you as taken with anya as our our girl bowen was i have to be honest once again and go with yes it's interesting because I do feel yeah there's usually not much to report I would say there really isn't especially if it's like a question like you know are they cool it's like there's usually

no news but we were obsessed with her but you and me but but you and i and especially you had multiple contexts of spending time with her interacting with her and then i think when you and i shared those those interactions like we would like watch her like on the like at village or whatever we'd be like oh my god she's like she's so good you know yeah she could really like she was really cool and she could hang like she could hang yeah i do want to say though celeste and i hate to break this to you but i feel like whenever i'm around you i always i'm trying to be on my coolest behavior how do you how does that make you feel so let's they have a cool sort of magnetism that

actually draws it's like cupping where it sort of draws it out of other people you have the sort of leaves a bruise yeah it leaves a bruise but it's actually but then it's like people still put it on the insta stories because they want to they want to show they put on their stories and they paid for it wow that they're going to that they're going to acupressure or whatever the hell you know yes matt i think you're really cool around me i try that's what i'm saying i'm trying super hard you know what i mean you've also seen me in zones where i'm like gotta be a little cool because i'm like hosting a show or like yeah yeah you're probably doing a thing. Public facing. Public facing Matt. Not like flop inward facing Matt.

It's industry Matt. Yeah. Talk about this California journey. What brought you there? Were you seeing everything? How do you feel about California in general? Recently they have removed the judge struck down the

assault rifles, assault weapons ban. And you do. That's sort of what brought me here. That's what brought you. Well, I'm in SF right now and I'm staying in an Airbnb not to dox my own self. But I in preparation for this recording, I did hang what could only be described as dirty towels and sheets yeah around a closet to sort of i i don't really know i think i was feeling bad that i didn't have an external microphone and sort of had to compensate for that in a physical way celeste

yeah and i don't mean to bring this this into this discussion no no problem but did i not tell you it's no worries if you don't have an external mic you did say that but you also followed up about whether or not i had because you didn't answer and i and then and this is what happened matt and the producers of this show already been thrown under the bus I just want to point out were following up with me they were like do they have a mic

and I was like I'm asking and I will report back when I know and so then I felt the need to double pump and ask you again and be like I'm sorry and do let me know if you have a mic and to know now that oh my god this is awful to know that you feel a certain way about hanging

up all these dirty coats and matt feels like he's thrown under the bus i can't win i can't i need a w in this life i mean i you were, before you were sounding like very, like sort of hot before when you were sort of making my booty wiggle before with the way you were talking. And that felt like it went for you. The threesome. You got that. That was cool. Not every threesome is a W.

And that's a real culture. It's real culture number 70. Not every threesome is a w and that's a real culture it's real culture number 70 not not every threesome is cool is a w it's a w um well celeste any threesomes on in the in your past or on the horizon yeah i have had one yeah tell us in including names. I really feel that Bowen didn't share enough details. I agree. Where I don't feel, I don't think, completely comfortable. Okay. Matt, you didn't share details about yours.

Yeah. You didn't ask. And by the way, I followed up with the people in said threesome who listened to the episode. And they said, no one didn't really ask a question about it. And I was like, you know, he did it.

And by the way, they also told me they're not having threesomes anymore. So I don't know if that's a comment on my abilities and said threesome. And I did follow up about that. I was like, I hope it's because I didn't fuck up. They said, no,

no, no. We loved you. We just decided it wasn't for us for other reasons. And I was like, okay, great. And they were like,

you're the best. We love you. And then I was like, great. So, so just know that's how that ended. Wow. And that's me sharing a lot of details.

And then they're going to listen to this episode. And, and, and I'm sure there'll be a conversation about it. And they'll, they'll probably reassure me and be like, it wasn't you. We had a great time. And I just want to clarify we did and I did

just raising my hand everyone had a great time and yet they decided never again yeah they've decided never again I don't think that says anything about you I honestly don't think it says anything about you Matt I don't think so either but I did think it was funny I find it interesting that

they sort of turned to put the blame on bowen for not asking more questions yeah i'm sorry well it was funny because we we literally it was so funny because we brought it i listened to it again and we brought it up and then boom was like so the friends reunion no it's because you had already told me about the details i don't want and then one-on-one not every conversation needs to be for the readers you're so right because they're mixed company it's mixed company and okay I mean uh my my review of this threesome is that it seemed like it was fun for all good but I will say I am also a little hung up on the fact that they were like he didn't really ask a question it's like it was fun for all. Good. But I will say, I am also a little hung up on the fact that they were like,

he didn't really ask a question. It's like, when the three of you were naked together, were the two of them playing to me? Excuse me? No, it wasn't like that. It was just, I think that everyone involved was like,

and that wasn't me, was like, huh, like it didn't seem that interesting to Bowen. And we should say, it's because I told Bowen about it beforehand. In fact, pretty much right after it happened

because I was excited about it. And was I not excited with you? I was, I met you on your level and I was like He even FaceTimed me about it with Joshua D. Sharp. You didn't FaceTime me after my threesome. No, you didn't. Okay, well first of all, I was

running all about talent. Look, this is about Celeste so this is a fighting review review your threesome now now i said without details oh it was it was good and then bad oh that sounds about right you know and and and and in a way that is general to all threesomes no matter the gender permutations yeah threesomes are good then bad yeah

because ultimately during a threesome experience you run the risk of sort of two people enjoying it more than one other one for sure just on a numbers level the numbers are going to be against you can't all three be on

the same page and that's why we're all fighting that's why we're all fighting we're all fighting I mean the triangles never going to be equilateral not even you're lucky if it's isosceles bitch because most of the time you're dealing with scaling okay

equilateral triangles? More like the white rhino extinct. Oh my god. Really sorry to bring that up but this is a current events podcast so if we hadn't mentioned the white rhino's extinction, we would have heard about it. Thoughts on the extinction of the white rhino?

Yeah. Well, I would hate for the people you had a threesome with to say that i did not say enough about that and that's why i just want to come out clean and say hey that's what a shame right what a shame oh i i hate i'm upset yeah well okay well now answer the question about the white rhino how do you thoughts on the extinction of the white rhino that's what i was talking about i thought you were talking about the threesome i have only positive feelings about matt's threesome i'd love to offline about it facetime thank you you are family to me now you'd say that you would cut

you would categorize your feelings on the extinction of the white rhino as angered angry i said i think upset yeah you said it's bad that's my official statement and if yeah anybody listening wants me to say more i will because i listen to feedback is important to me you do you really do you take in all feedback and you accept it do you incorporate it do you fight for animals i would say that i do fight foren to be happy. Thank you. Thank you. And for Matt to seem cool around me. This is good. Wait, we have to talk about something.

Brandon Gillespie is a little bit, I think she's retiring a catchphrase that she was using, that I think now Celeste has adopted, which is I can't stop. That'll be perfect for me. It's some form. No matter what the contact is, if it's something good or bad happens, if someone's like

we're so sorry, you don't qualify for this credit card, let's say. That'll be perfect for me. That'll be perfect for me. Well, sometimes, and this is actually just the truth, sometimes someone will think they have a catchphrase that's theirs. that'll be perfect for me well sometimes and this is actually just the truth sometimes someone will think they have a catchphrase that's theirs and then someone else will

come along and sort of take that catchphrase and guess what the glove fits a little snugger on them what's an example for example it's like when Whitney Houston came along and sang I Will Always Love You did she write the song the tune no dolly parton did but you can't say that that glove

doesn't fit a little snugger on miss houston's hand elegant hand wow and so i feel this is the same with you fran can sort of get fucked oh my god because uh looks like this catchphrase is uh fitting pretty well on you i want to start i want to start as many conflicts as possible yeah clearly here because conflict is not abuse you guys i was saying that to someone title of ep conflict is not abuse you guys was there you guys in there conflict is not abuse you guys this fall on bravo

it's time to turn up think you've seen it all I don't think you've been a good friend to me lately we're friends like that who needs enemies you ain't seen nothing yet cheers to being Germanic with the Real Housewives of Potomac I don't think you've been a good friend to me lately. We're friends like that. Who needs enemies? You ain't seen nothing yet. Cheers to being Germanic. With the Real Housewives of Potomac.

Oh my gosh, can I take this in? It's going to be amazing. New York City. Everyone is a gossip. No one gets a happier life. Salt Lake City. We don't wear pastels, we wear fashion. And below deck sailing.

You broke the rules and now you're here getting upset. Watch all new seasons on Bravo or stream it on City TV+. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. We talk about guilt, shame, body image, and huge life transformations. I was a desperate delusional

dreamer and the desperate part got me in a lot of trouble. I encourage delusional dreamers. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer. I just had such an anger. I was just so mad at life. Everything that wasn't right was everybody's fault but mine. I had such a victim mentality. I took zero accountability for anything in my life. I was the kid that if you asked what happened, I immediately started with everything but me. It took years for me to break that, like years of work. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999,

a five-year-old boy floated alone in the ocean. He had lost his mother trying to reach Florida from Cuba. He looked like a little angel. I mean, he looked so fresh. And his name, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere. Elian Gonzalez. Elian. Elian. Elian, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere. At the heart of the story is a young boy and the question of who he belongs with. His father in Cuba.

Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. At the heart of it all is still this painful family separation. Something that as a Cuban, I know all too well. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, as part of the Michael Tudor podcast network available on the I heart radio app, Apple podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. Guess what folks? We're teammates again, and we're going to welcome you guys all to dudes on dudes. I'm a dude. You're a dude.

And dudes on dudes is our brand new show. We're going to highlight players, peers, guys that we played against, legends from the past, and we're just going to sit here and talk about them. And we'll get into the types of dudes. What kind of types of dudes are there, Gronk? We got studs, wizards. We got freaks. Or dudes dudes.

We got dogs. Dogs. We'll break down their games. We'll share some insider stories and determine what kind of dude each of these dudes are. Is Randy Moss a stud or a freak? Is Tom Brady a dog or a dude's dude? We're going to find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season.

Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I think it's time we ask Celeste a question. High time. High time. Celeste, what is the culture that made you say, culture is for me? This is the culture that made you and your work and your life and your being move in a cultural direction.

Picture young Celeste, sort of at a crossroads of culture. Sort of in Toronto doing, I don't think. Were they worthy at the show? Were they or were they not? That's the crossroads. That is the crossroads.

Talk about the culture that founded you. For me, and I'm so scared that somebody has already said this. It doesn't matter matter that's just fine because the way that you say it is going to be different than them yes it was

the first script I ever laid eyes on oh beautiful it was Juno oh no one said it no one said it and actually I really fucking appreciate it because matt i've told you and i've even probably said on the pod a million times i'm like and there's a reason why

that is an oscar-winning screenplay like that is actually because the people who like just love to shit on juno as a movie are like oh it's like all like the slang that like that like that like that's like the style oh you mean the fucking like point of incredible style and point of view and like yeah just incredible it had yeah and and diablo cody we love icon we love talk talk about this talk about j what happened. My mom had seen it, I guess, at TIFF, at the Toronto International Film Festival. Wow, okay. Insider, industry insider.

Yeah, I've been kind of, I was sort of raised by the industry. Right. And she had seen it and she told me like, I think you should watch it. Your mom knew that you would like it? Yeah, like she had recommended it to me. That's cool.

And then I guess at the time I had just learned how to, like, torrent movies, but I couldn't find the torrent for it. What was your preferred platform, your preferred software? LimeWire? It was LimeWire. What were you, like, 10? Yeah, I was sort of reaching high up to the family computer, kind of clacking away at LimeWire.

Your mom was like, you should find a way to watch this. Yes. And it was like, probably had just premiered. Like I didn't really know how like movie releases work. And so I was like, trying to torn it for weeks.

And wait, what year did it was probably like 2006 yeah 2007 um and so i i couldn't find the clip or like the the movie itself but i found the script oh somehow so you read the script like as if it were some sort of book yeah so i read it like over and over again had you already been script like as if it were some sort of book. Yes, I read it like over and over again. Had you already been into like plays at this time or theater? Like did you already develop some? And that was, wow. No, like not at all.

Yeah. Yeah, we are very much like a movie watching household. But I didn't really, it wasn't my personality yet to like want to do that. Got it. but I didn't really it wasn't my personality yet to like want to do that so then talk about what just no I mean like talk about like what you like felt because I really I really love this for you and it actually makes a lot of sense you think I think so

yeah say more about that it's like it is a movie that is like just so tightly conceived. And it's about like. No pun intended. No, yeah. Can we say?

Can we say? I just think it's like, I'm obsessed with that movie in a way that like, I don't think, I have not found that other people have. Which I know is such a gross thing to say. I do feel like whenever I bring it up, I have to be like, I have to qualify it in such a way that it's like, I I know is such a gross thing to say. I do feel like whenever I bring it up, I have to be like, I have to qualify in such a way that it's like, I actually think it's a great movie, which I hate.

And I should stop doing it. I should, I should doing that. Can I say why I think that's true? I think the reason why we have to qualify liking it is because I think I've said it on this podcast before, but that movie came out at a time when the Apatow comedies were all coming out and it had michael

sarah so when i went to go see it in high school i went to go see it with all my male friends and they were all straight and i had told them that i was really excited to see it because i felt it was going to be i think i was really excited to see it for what it was and i thought maybe it would be like a harder comedy than it was and not like a sweet stylish cool movie with a female protagonist like it was and I think that my friends got angry with me because I had went so hard and wanted to

go see it and they didn't connect to it so I think that maybe Bowen at the time that was a similar situation for you where it's just like but I was just we were still closeted when that came out though totally but there was just there was something about like i just watched it and everything wow okay like uh like elliot page is like a star like put him in everything and then it was just

like i i was thrilled when it won the oscar when i was thrilled when elliot was nominated i was just like i was like yeah fuck you to the people who don't there was just this like am I crazy everyone picks on the hamburger phone I mean the hamburger phone is is it like lame she's a teenager

I think we can say the hamburger phone is a moment in the script where it's just like okay this is like this character has a hamburger phone is is a is a moment in the script where it's just like okay this is like this character has a hamburger phone and i can i think some people say this is like a twee bridge too far but not me i'm not one of those people i think hamburger phone is lovely yeah i mean it felt like i think because of like the like you know drawn kind of style of it it's sort of it is like quirky in this way but to me it was like so um the way it's written is like kind of not as a comedy

if that makes sense and like i think that that was like draw to more like romantic stories and like I think what was exciting about it was that like it's sort of like sneakily a comedy it wasn't trying hard to crack you up like all those

Apatow movies were like it wasn't like Vince Vaughn improvising at us hard for three minutes straight it was like it wasn't like vince vaughn improvising at us hard in a scene for three minutes straight it was like it was a winking right yeah which i yeah which i think i find like very upsetting is like here it is the laugh is coming uh get ready for it it's here now yes exactly exactly and like the movie is like a very surprising story in its own way where it's here now yes exactly exactly and like the movie is like a very surprising story in its own way where it's like like i remember going in not knowing too much about it and then like the whole jason bateman like the whole story of of juno and and like just hanging out with jason bateman's

character is like this is not what i expected and then it plays out in a very bizarre way and then like i just i think clearly elliot's the best part but jennifer gardner is like the unsung and the movie does not work without her that performance in a way does that make sense like like like when she like in that first scene when they meet and she's like um you found us in the penny saver like that like like those little moments like that are like kind of the keystones to the movie for me completely and it's like a blue collar story and it's you know it's so it's so like active you know like it's like this like young girl who's just like going out and doing all these things um and i think that's also why it's like it feels like gri girl who's just like going out and doing all these things.

And I think that's also why it's like it feels like gripping in this way. Like you're scared for her the whole time. It's like a completely dangerous story. Yes. Yeah. I also think like it's funny. We bring up Jennifer Garner and obviously Elliot. Like because they're such a big part of it.

And Jason Bateman. But even down to the tiny part. And Michael Cera we mentioned. But like Allison Jenny. Yes jenny she's great jenny's so good alice and jenny's so good jk simmons is so good in it like and the whole you you get the sense that the entire cast um wanted to be a part of it because they read the script and they were like i have to be a part of it because they read the script and they were like I have to be a part of it like it really does go back to the script I think and um so and like yes like the

performances are great and I think that you know that one of my favorite lines in the movie is when Jennifer Garner finds them and they're playing instruments and she goes not to interrupt the jam session but that was an improvised line and um like i think that when a script is we as we said about last week with mirabee's town when a script is so

specific and you get the opportunity to get so specific with the characters it allows the actors to get specific and that's why all the performances are so good because the script is so good and so specific and i think that it sometimes gets boiled down to oh that's that script with the hamburger phone but meanwhile hamburger phone is like a funny specific that the character says because she has a hamburger phone you know what I mean and like who among us as teenagers didn't have some fucking stupid novelty

thing in our rooms like yeah I reject that completely that people shitting on the hamburger that actually sucks that actually sucks if you're bothered by the hamburger that actually sucks that actually if you if you're bothered by the hamburger phone in juno go to jail before we abolish incarceration it's a it's a thinly veiled like complaint i think about it being like a teenage girl speaking you know i agree i agree just say that you hate teenage agree. Just say that you hate teenage girls.

Yeah. Just say that you hate teenage girls. Oh, you know, you know what other great Jennifer Garner moment is in that movie is, um, towards the end. Bowen stands Jennifer Garner in this movie.

I think she's so good. Like she is Bowen's queen. She's my queen, but she like, like, but at the end, like the last scene between that you see between her and Jason Bateman, where like,

like they get into like the fight and then he's just like, I need time. And then she's like, for what? To be a rock star? I'm like, the way she delivers that, I'm like, Jesus Christ. I remember the way it sounds. Really good writing. And then, oh, and then,

I'm pretty sure this is improvised. It must be improvised, or it must have been Elliot's idea. But when Juno throws the, when they get into a fight and she must have been elliot's idea but when she when juno like throws the when they get into a fight she runs out and she's just like i listen to your sonic youth album and it's just noise and like that is such a funny line i think it's a fantastic movie that does not get the credit so good really really good and you're right there are so many i haven't seen it in so long but i was just trying to think of and you know like sort of young kind of media awakenings yes and that was the only one that like i i sneak you know all of them are like fucking snl things and. That was really the like, I really think that was like the beginning.

That's good. Celeste said, I was thinking of media awakenings and then they go, hell. As if that wasn't the premise of this whole fucking show. Yeah, you're actually rude. Yeah, I pretty much am a huge critic of this

show and have planted ideas all over the internet about why i think it should end yes you know like it's it's actually interesting like this was like a like a weird triptych of elliot page performances earlier early on that are so fucking good and i actually think that like elliot page doesn't really get the credit as an actor because Hard Candy, Juno, and sorry, Whippet. Whippet. We have to put respect on Whippet's name because Whippet is good. And Drew Barrymore was a great director.

And Kristen Wiig was great in it. And Marsha Gay was great in it. Marsha Gay Harden was stunning in Whippet oh I should watch that Whippet is good and Juliette Lewis also turns it in Whippet giving one of the most Juliette Lewis performances ever

Juliette and to sort of bring it back to TIFF I think I saw the premiere of that at TIFF that would make sense you were a Tiff kid, it seems. Yeah, I was kind of on the scene at Tiff.

Could you imagine going to a film festival as a child, Matt? I can't. I don't have that. I don't have that ability to imagine that, being raised by the industry. My life would have turned out so much better if I had gone to those festivals. I truly can't imagine being a child at 10 that could go on,

try to torrent things either, but Gen Z is in the chat. So, you know, everyone, everyone in Gen Z has been to Tiff or tell your ride or any of the big festivals. Yeah.

They just give them out to Gen Z like industry passes. God, I didn't grow up them out to Gen Z, like, industry passes. God, I didn't grow up with this. You know, also, I'm also remembering now just to hop back to Juno because you know

who else's favorite movie this is? It's Jared. And so, so he had on Shuffle like a couple weeks ago, like, and I guess the soundtrack

to Juno was playing and it was, the soundtrack is so good. Don't see what anyone could see with anyone else. But that song is so sweet. And it ends so sweet. I remember,

I remember at the time when I was like 16, 17 watching it, it was ending like that. And a huge part of me was loving it. And all my straight friends were like, this song, dude, why are we listening to this song?

Dude, why is Michaelael ceres singing dude you know it's such a good soundtrack it's so good so good cat power i think we love that sea of love cat power is on there yeah that's and that's that's a great cat power cover did you know this was roger ebert's number one movie of the year 2007? Really? Yeah. I mean, I think that's what also the impact of it was like, like taking indie movies like seriously.

Yeah. And it was a movie about a teenage girl that was that people were like, hey, this is and they never because they never say this. They're never like this is good and worthy of awards consideration. And like, you know, one of the best of the year. It feels like if a movie is ever about like teenage girls they kind of like it has to get its credit later you know what i mean like people only notice that clueless is a fucking a plus script for all time years years later people only talk about mean girls as a prestige comedy script about teen girls

years later it felt like this was a weird exception to that rule totally but and yet it was still i mean the reason where i hate that we're i kind of hate that i brought into the discussion that like oh people seem to really dislike it when that doesn't have to be part of the legacy of juno um so i'm sorry for bringing that into the conversation as soon as Celeste was like, my thing is Juno. And I was like, oh, isn't it so awful

that people don't like it except us? No, but I think you're reacting to something that's real, which is, I mean, there's a lot of things. I think it's a lot of patriarchy. It's a lot of patriarchy involved with this movie.

And movies about teen girls get fucking relegated to some lower status or something in terms of yeah i think what i'm saying is i'm not surprised to hear you say that bowen because i think the patriarchy has affected us vis-a-vis this movie more than we realize yes because we were at a weird age when it came out because we were sort of trying to figure it out in that way does that make sense makes total sense i'm'm a bad Diablo Cody fan though, because I've never seen Jennifer's body.

Oh, Jennifer's body is one of my favorite movies of hers. And we have to get Diablo on the pot. I just realized. And I want, and one thing I want to do is look her in the eyes and say, Jennifer's body deserved more. Celeste,

do you stand Jennifer's body? Yeah, it's good. It's so good, except there's one part of it I don't like, which is when they have that weird sex scene. Yeah, I really watched that movie at a boy-girl party in the basement.

And I just remember- And it was supposed to be horny. I was sweating so much, and my ass was touching like boy's ass and like i i just like remember feeling warm for like many reasons warm so all i really feel is that when i hear jennifer's body but bowen i think you should watch. Okay, and can I ask, this sex scene is gay? It's between Megan Fox, who's

great in it, and Amanda Seyfried. And basically, it feels like it was sort of put in there by the studio. That's how I feel. It just feels like this had there was no real hint or intimation that they'd be interested in

doing something like this it felt like something that was a symptom of megan fox being in the movie and some dudes that were involved were like hey we have to put this in there it kind of felt like that yeah and and so i'd be interested to ask the question to be honest um but because i think the movie is so good and interesting and actually scary and funny as shit and i think that again because it was about teen girls it didn't get taken seriously as like the sort of like uh conscious pulp it was trying to be like i sometimes feel like like boy movies get to be knowingly pulp and like quote-unquote girl movies like don't get to be they get then they're like tossed out and like you know jennifer's body was a quote unquote flop but it was funny and good and i don't know it was a bit gross like girl movies

get to be gross you know right and junos kind of has that same i think stink on it it's a bit yuck yeah yeah yeah she also another another movie that diablo cody wrote which i think is didn't get the credit either is young adult so good yeah genius movie oh and that's and that is like as unlikable of a protagonist as you can write into a movie like that I can't remember if I saw that or not oh Celeste that's a good one

it's Charlize's best yes wait and I was thinking of well when you said it I was thinking of Tully which is also really good was that Diablo 2? really good so again like kind of secretly a comedy which is also really good. Did you see that? Was that Diablo 2? Really good. It was. And like,

so, again, like kind of secretly a comedy. Definitely. Secretly a comedy. But like never trying to be funny, just like it's puts the characters in situations that feel so real that it's funny. But,

and it's definitely, I mean, it's categorized on at least Wikipedia as a comedy drama film, but it takes a really interesting turn. And it's definitely, I mean, it's categorized on at least Wikipedia as a comedy drama film. But it takes a really interesting turn. And it's again, it's Charlize who's stunning and Mackenzie Davis. Totally. I think that also like, I'm just kind of thinking more about this influence in my own life.

I really do feel like often, and I really don't know where it comes from but like a lot of shame about liking comedy and being associated with comedy and like wanting to do it and i i don't know what it is well so let's try and unpack it well do you guys feel this way at all always no always no matt's lying no i don't feel guilt about doing this i i will say this not guilt shame shame i used to be i used to not say i was a comedian because i was i thought that sounded presumptuous and i thought i i still to this day have a hard time getting out the words like i'm a comedian because i think that that means that you think you're funny and I guess like there's something untoward about saying that I am someone who who lives their life doing it so probably I should be able to say it yeah yeah so also just not to editorialize but yes you do feel shame it sounds

that maybe you're right so but but but you but you're able to say right away that you feel shame doing it what is that for me it's that working in a place like SNL where um everyone're able to say right away that you feel shame doing it. What is that? For me, it's that working in a place like SNL where everyone is able to evaluate you on a granular level whether or not you are funny. Because what happens, at least with SNL or with most comedies, it's like it's sink or swim no matter what it's it's like either either the audience thinks either one person thinks you're funny or you're other or that you're not completely almost always a binary thing and then they let you know either way and then the fact that people are so quick to evaluate that and then tell me um feels feels like feels too available so your shame has to do completely it is completely

placed in everyone else no no but my shame has to do with like sorry my shame has to do with people being able to like in some way yeah my shame has to do with people like thinking that they can decide for me

whether or not I'm good at this and they can, they, they can't and they don't. And like, I don't, for the most part, it doesn't affect me, but sometimes it does.

And that's, and the shame kind of grows from there, from like the thought that like, Oh, this person doesn't think I'm funny. Do I care? And if I, if the answer is kind of,

yes, then that's when I start to feel ashamed. Yeah, it's like a high risk, high reward kind of situation always, like in trying to make somebody laugh. Because if you try to be funny and you are not funny, then there's nothing that's more degrading

than that feeling. But if you try to be funny and you make a bunch of people laugh, there is truly your God. Your God. There's no higher feeling than that. I mean, this is like, this is like the shitty part of working at SNL,

which is, and like, it took me a while to realize that everyone feels this way. Like every person at that place has felt this way, who has ever worked there has felt this way. Which is like, if you have a thing go badly at table read, then the thought that you end up at, the terminus is everyone thinks I'm a bad person.

Everyone here thinks I'm a bad person and they don't like me and they never liked me. It's like the shame like like failure is a seed crystal failure in like a single moment is a seed crystal that blossoms into this like crazy lattice of like oh my god I'm bad I'm bad I'm bad I'm bad I'm a bad person that's the crazy thing about it too though is that I feel like that like danger of oh is this gonna make someone laugh or is this gonna be the worst moment of my life is true even of even in the lowest yeah right circumstances like yes at a show with seven people like it feels like a life or death it's high risk high reward

all the time and i think that feeling is i don't i don't know like it's it's built in for me like i never felt proud of like being in pursuit of comedy and don't feel particularly proud or like you know able to be honest about being like in comedy and like a comedy writer like that always feels like hell and i don't and i think it's it's tied to that but i kind of still don't really understand why well is it fair for me to say that your success has happened quickly yeah yeah yeah so i think that that might have to do with the email bone read of me sort of sort of groveling was sort of way but three years ago i don't feel you groveled i think you sent back a nice email and wait this is a thing i feel like i feel like though this is a

thing though it's like you do feel you do feel shame when you're beating up on yourself completely this is helpful for me and matt you're saying like you feel shame when you beat up on yourself because you don't want me to be your doctor you don't want me to be your lawyer i can't do anything else what i can do is be a clown in the square like i'm good at that and i and so are you both to the highest level celeste i this is just i just i gas them up all the fucking time. But I think Celeste should be very proud of the season they had. You did so well. I mean, for a first-year writer, that certainly was not the story I was hearing from the girls. Not even for a first-year.

Take for a first-year writer out of it. It's like someone who immediately made connections with people in meaningful ways, who knew how to work well in different environments with different people. Like it was just like awe inspiring in a way that I was just like, wow. I think all of us were just like, this is incredible. God bless. Wow. Anyway. Wait, talk about this.

Let me go back to Juno really quickly. Talk about juno was it was it a quick was it a quick ignition when you saw juno that you're like i want to do i want to do this kind of thing where i want to write well i think it was reading the script and then seeing it and feeling it's like moved by this with the movie in the way that i felt moved by the script that made me understand like okay these things are connected something's going on here yes um and i think i like really like connected to that that translation yes was there was there was was there a moment that any of you remember where you were first conscious of who was writing something that you enjoyed. Like where you

were paying attention to the credits in a way that was meaningful. For me, I think that was like, and this is such a basic answer, but it was, I think it was Mean Girls. Where I was watching SNL so much and I was just excited by the fact that Tina Fey was writing this movie

and I was just like, oh, and she wrote this and it's got Lindsay Lohan. All of it appealed to me in a way and then like it was meaningful to me that it was like oh she wrote this and she's behind all these jokes and the story and the way that like things happen and this is all like through one person. What about, do you remember? For me, it was the first time I ever realized that it could be a job you could have. Of course, I understood that people wrote movies and television shows, but the first time I ever thought,

oh wait, that's a job I would like to do is when I was watching Lost. Like I remember there was a scene where, there was a scene where it was episode six of season one it was called house of the rising sun it was with sun and jim and i remember there was a scene at the end of the episode and it was sun was going to leave jim at the airport and she was walking towards the car that she had she had arranged to be there and she turns over her shoulder and jim Daniel Dae Kim,

the hottest man in the world lifts up a flower. Like it's her, it's like an orchid or something like son's favorite flower. And then Hyunjin Kim who played son turned around and she, you can see in her eyes, she makes the decision to stay. And then they get on the plane and they crash on the Island fate. And I was just like,

and that was like a flashback. and i loved the flashback device of that first season of the show and you know it's such a good first season of television um especially for someone who's 14 um but i remember after that episode ended i was like god that was so good and next week there's gonna be another one and i'm gonna find out more about these characters and that's when i was like you know realizing like and i would like to find out more about these characters. And that's when I was like, you know, realizing like, and I would like to be a part of making that. Like that was when I was, it was everything. It was the writing.

It was the directing. It was the acting. It was the music. And I just remember being like, oh, I want to be a part of making television or making this movie, TV, whatever, because now I'm getting, it's clicking for me that it can be created for some reason i watched i was like that child that watched everything as if it was in a

vacuum like movies were just this magical thing or whatever and that that was the first show where it like clicked for me and i did start to note like who was creating television shows and i would look up interviews with like whoever was the creator of the show or the writer of particular episodes to the point where when I got to college I was like what I was studying and I was particularly looking at like you know who I looked up to the most what about you Celeste what about you Celeste for me it was in you know how in in the at the Oscars some years during this like screenwriting awards it would be like a clip from the movie and the script would be like interior

bedroom. She walks in and places a hand. They're extremely horny and I really think are smart, like demystify the process a little bit of page to stage. In a way that i found

extremely inspiring and like and again it's that control it's that control of like the movement from the script to the screen it's like okay there's something in that like in between it being typed out like on your little computer and then seeing it physically, like materially. I think that's really exciting. And I find that kind of actually exciting at SNL too. It is kind of, you know what?

I, did I tell you guys this, either of you, the fact that I got stoned and watched pretend it's a city in january in my bed and then i told myself i'm gonna play her on update yeah and then it happened i'm like that makes me horny for my not for myself but just for that process right of like yeah oh my god it happened that way yeah like and aren't i so lucky that i have that available to me and isn't every writer who works and who's working right now,

like, aren't they so lucky? And like, I don't know. I think it's totally, there was like, um, but when you remember years ago when I did that star Wars sketch for above,

above average, yes. Like that was a moment where I had that, where I was like, I, they will never put me in the star Wars, but I will put myself in a star Wars adjacent sketch. Yes.

Where I will get to fight with a lightsaber. And it was just, and then I got to, and I was watching it and I was like, oh, I fought with a lightsaber. The sketch is called We Meet Again. And you did that and you wrote that.

Yeah, it was cool. Well, that was something I discovered like doing sketch in college too. It was like, oh, you can do anything you want if you write it. Yes.

It's cool. It's hor horny it's romantic where you're like i kind of i'm a little bit curious about that i have like a little idea about that and then it happens like it's like it feels so good yeah oh i love this that is horny. We're all really horny right now hearing it. About writing. I think so. About how the Oscars production seeped into my little child brain. What are you, what are you, what have you, what are you watching or have you watched recently that you're like horny for the writing of?

Oh, shit. Um, all I'm watching right now is Top Chefs. And I do wonder what the writing of what like who writes what padmas what's what's the writing process do we know what's the writing do we know uh they must have right i'm wondering i think that if they don't have a room they definitely have like contributing producers who are like here's an idea for a bit and then you

know what they probably do have what we had on hot Dog was we had Neal Casey. Oh, funniest person. And also Nicole Thurman. So they were writing it together. So shows like that do have like comedywriters.com with the funny stuff that Padma says. I'm sure. Not to say that Padma isn't coming up with whiz bangs of her own. Oh, she is a writer.

She writes the show. The way that she keeps the show running of now let's go to judges table. At judges table we'll be talking. That's plodding. The way that you're getting right now, you are a Padma holic. I love Padma.

I love Padma. I love her and I appreciate what she has done for me. She has done it all. And Taste the Nation too in her hulu docuseries you can tell she is like the guiding hand in that especially even i think i think in the writing too like a lot of it is very like it's like a prose poem that she's narrating and it's like she must have written this in some fashion yeah padma is a writer

i just think that she's so good at what she does. Excellent. It comes out like poetry. It flows. Well, I mean, when she was on this show, she was talking about the book of spices that she wrote. You know, she wrote a book that has every spice in the world. And she has it's like essentially like a glossary that she wrote of spices. And she was like, because because I't, she mentioned that she has like an experienced palette or something like a super, it has like a super advanced palette. That's like genetically gifted in some sense.

She's like a savant for tasting food. Oh, that, that honestly must be why they have that challenge every, every season of like the smelling the, of the different spices, you know, they blindfold them and they like give them like, them and they give them 30 ingredients and you can

only use the ones that you get right. You can see the sparkle in her eye when they're doing the little tasks that she likes. She has favorites. If you're Padma's favorite, that's huge. Are you liking the new shine it's good it's really good

are you guys watching i hear this is a good one i'm not watching but i hear this is a great one good i was just talking to sudi green about oh there's like this episode there's this episode where they did like a drive-in theater because it's all COVID restrictions. And yeah, they do an episode where they're like, they're like at a drive-in and the chefs have to make like kind of drive-in movie friendly snacks. And to introduce each, the competition was to make a food

for different genres of film. And to introduce each genre, Padma does a little, I'm going to go ahead and call them sketches. She does a sketch for each genre and she is loving it. A sketch actress. Han says it's wonderful. It's the first season that isn't centered on the Caucasian palette.

The Western palette. Or the Western palette. Huge. I'm going to start tonight. It's an important season. Yeah, it's important. or the Western palette. Huge. I'm going to start tonight. It's an important season. Yeah, it's important. As if every Top Chef season was not important.

It's Portland, right? Yeah. So Gregory's around a bunch. Oh, yeah, he around. And he cute. The best. And Kwame's around. And he is cool and hot. And Melissa is hot.

Melissa. So all this, so all, so is this, this is the gag is that all the kind of iconic contestants of yesteryear are all sort of judges now? Yes. Yes. Han says two Asian lesbians. Kristen is there too, honey.

Yeah. And I can, I just want to say, and I want to say readers read, I'm going to, I'm going to address this readers. I do keep having a moment with my internet that it drops in and out. And this is truly, this is how you know that just like Top Chef, we are COVID too. Because this is like, it's really getting me going from my, I don't think so, honey,

because I was going to do it on Wiggly Bottoms. And if Spectrum Internet is going to make me do it on them, then that's going to be the way it is. Because the fact of the matter is this is all spectrum's fault because Verizon you don't get this Verizon files you don't get this drama yeah the people have to know where we are at and it is that we are all a

little bit stressed about technology and I do think it's the undercurrent of this episode and yeah we and still we rise and still we rise let's do a check in. Let's do a check. Bowen, how are you feeling? I feel okay.

Because this is actually a little scary for me because I'm staring at my spectrum router and I'm like, this will turn on me someday very soon. Yeah. And I'm not looking forward to that. And I actually want to... I had the worst experience of my life. That was a dark day when I had just moved so i just i'd

moved into my this apartment on april 21st exhausted by that day because it was raining outside it was a terrible day to move to the 22nd i go back in to shoot stuff um all day and then the 23rd i had to go and make sure my my wi-fi was set up in my house because i had to do a bunch of stuff in my house no and then went to the spectrum place, sat there for an hour and a half because no one, because the people who, there was two people working and they were, none of them knew what they were doing.

And it was just like, it was like not their fault. It was just like spectrum as a company is bad and does not set their, does not set their employees up to do their jobs well and so it's like i i just i think spectrum as a company is um as pernicious as they come it's as peter i was gonna say as pernicious as they come i literally was and also i want to say something i want to i want to sort of just cut through because celeste you asked about how he's feeling and so i'm just gonna offer how i'm feeling no i was gonna go to you next on how he's feeling and so I'm just going to offer how I'm feeling. No I was going to go to

you next. Matt how are you feeling? I could tell. I know what it's like to be on a Zoom and one person is having the technical issues and I know that regardless of the fact that it has nothing to do with me as a person that people on the Zoom feel irritated with that person

and I know it makes me upset. It makes me upset because I don't want to be the person bringing tension to the Zoom. But I know that this constant like give and take of my internet is I can hear in Bowen's voice driving him crazy.

It just takes me out of it takes me out of this conversational sort of cadence that we have. I know and I have nothing to do with it. We've had to field so many things. No, it's okay. We've all been, everybody has been that person.

And in fact, I think it was me at the beginning. Remember, guys? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It was never you. But you remember when it was you. You've only been a shining example of excellence in this podcast episode. We need to check in with Celeste.

How are you feeling? How are you feeling? I'm feeling good. I'm feeling good because it was me in the beginning. And that's okay. And you don't have to protect me anymore. I am strong. And independent.

I just want to protect you. I just want to protect you. Because I know that you're Gen Z. You're coming up in comedy. And the rise has been meteoric. And I just, I protect you because I know that you're coming up in comedy and the rise has been meteoric and I just I see the wolves bone and I know about the wolves the wolves are out to hunt I don't want the wolves to sort of come for you and so that's why that's why I feel very protective of you Celeste because you're someone that I immediately I saw I saw on that stage in Toronto

and I knew I knew from then on i was like that's my baby and the wolves better not take my baby if the wolves took my baby i'd be so upset i'd be like meryl streep in that movie what movie the cry in the dark oh remember the dingo ate her baby and they were like no you killed the baby and she was like i swear to you i swear to god the dingo ate my baby and there's a famous scene to God, the dingo ate my baby. And there's a famous scene where she says, the dingo ate my baby. And can you imagine

just reading that script and being like, yeah, let me do this. And then, not only doing it, but earning an Oscar nomination. I can't. I know you can't.

I think you're so talented. I don't think you're Meryl Streep. Thank you. Oh my God. We don't have to do that. I know you can't. I think you're so talented. I don't think you're Meryl Streep. Thank you. Oh my God. We don't have to do that. And thank you. And that shows me that you respect me to hear that. A statement so cutting and so true.

I think it's not even cutting. It's just respectful to say the truth. It is. I think that you are Celeste. Meryl is Meryl. There we go. There we go. There we go. There we go. There we go.

There it is. The Real Housewives of New York City are back for another bite of the Big Apple. Look who it is. Joined by elite new friends. Rebecca Minkoff. Have you ever heard of her? But things could change in a New York Minute. She had this wild night and ended up getting pregnant by some other guy.

What? You've told her? Not today, Satan. Not today. The Real Housewives of New York City. All new Tuesdays at 9 on Bravo or stream it on City TV+. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists.

We talk about guilt, shame, body image, and huge life transformations. I was a desperate, delusional dreamer, and the desperate part had me in a lot of trouble. I encourage delusional dreamers. body image and huge life transformations. accountability for anything in my life. I was the kid that if you asked what happened, I immediately started with everything but me. It took years for me to break that, like years of work. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, a five-year-old boy floated alone in the ocean. He had lost his mother trying to reach Florida from Cuba. He looked like a little angel. I mean, he looked so fresh. And his name, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere. Elian Gonzalez.

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And we'll get into the types of dudes. What kind of types of dudes are there, Grumps? We got studs, wizards. We got freaks. Or dudes dude. We got dogs. Dogs. We'll break down their games.

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iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I think it's time to move on. I don't think so, honey. I think it's time to move on. I don't think so, honey. Yeah. Yeah. We can tell when Bowen has had it. Yeah, he has had it.

This is what's going on. What? Is that these two people are on the... Usually how it is, is these... No, no, no. Right now is... These two people. These two people.

I'm so tired because guess what? It's three hours later here. 9.45 p.m. 9.45 p.m. 9.45 p.m. Celeste and I checked in yesterday. We were both still in the sort of energy upswing of the SNL postseason. Right. I'm still recovering.

I'm still downloading myself again. Does that make sense? Yeah. Re rebooting the hardware yes and trust me i went to disneyland yesterday you did so you have to understand i am actually i know i don't think sony is oh my god oh my god it just clicked sorry but i just wanted to say that like i'm i'm not tired i'm just like a little you're amped it's it's it's yes it's it's like that thing of the season ended and you said great now i can relax and the mistake you probably made was by relaxing you meant hang out with friends

socialize download but that is energy expense yes it's hard i am so tired i know i every conversation is uphill for me labored when will you be back in new york just last soon in a week great i'll see you every day when i get when i see you there i'll see you every day yes and bowen knows bowen knows i don't really let him relax because even when we're just hanging out just the two of us it's sort of Bowen sitting down and me up like kind of sort of like bouncing around the apartment he knows it's true look at him smiling it's golden

retriever and like cat energy let's watch Juno the best pair let's do that you know who else would love sued let's do that you You know who else would love Sood? Yes, Soopie. You call her Soopie too? I got it from Aidy

and I like it. Aidy? I do feel like Celeste is in the family. We welcome you. That is so nice. But I mean this in the way that like,

I sometimes I'm just witnessing Sudi and Celeste have little moments where I don't figure into it at all, where I'm like, that's beautiful. Come here, darling. I love her. Let us care for you. Welcome to the family.

Thank you. Celeste. That's beautiful. Okay, this is I Don't Think So Honey. Thank you. That's beautiful. Okay, this is I Don't Think So Honey. Really nice. This is I Don't Think So Honey. This is where we take one minute to go off on something in culture.

We're moving on to I Don't Think So Honey. Bowen is doing friend of the show Padma. Bowen's gonna I Don't Think So Honey Padma. No, no. And we're gonna play it for her. No. We literally do think so honey Padma no no and we're gonna play it for her no no we literally do think so Padma so hard we love Padma we do think so honey Padma this is um I know

Matt has a topic prepared yeah I do okay this is Matt Rogers as I don't think so honey is Disneyland kind of moved you in a new direction it seems okay this is Matt Rogers as I don't think so honey as time starts now I don't think so honey his time starts now i don't think so honey the avengers campus at disneyland california adventure it opened last weekend i went how come you have

to get on a five hour wait to get into this damn thing to even get into the land and then when you get into the land which i didn't all they have is a spider-man web slingers attraction which is basically you shoot webs at a screen which is again a video game not a ride i don't think so honey these major theme park attractions that are video games not rides i don't think so honey also i don't think so honey i in order to even get on the web slingers you have to wake up at 6 59 a.m to get on at 7 am. on the app and you have to within 15 seconds make yourself a reservation for the ride and if you don't get it well honey your SOL should add a lot

for the rest of the day I don't think so honey I did watch from the outside Spider-Man leap in the air that was cute but you can't even get on Guardians of the Galaxy mission breakout without getting into Avengers campus I don't think so honey that I don't think so honey the whole thing it's too complicated one no and that's one minute to Avengers Campus. I don't think so, honey, that. I don't think so, honey, the whole thing. It's too complicated. One, no.

And that's one minute. I am so sorry to hear about this. Yes. Bowen, and that's why I'm going again tomorrow. Matt, hold on.

We need to sort of start the revolution and say no to reservation culture to like between hearing about avengers campus and about having to wake up and get on a five-hour release and then this is what rise of the resistance was when star wars and i will say i did do rise of the resistance the other day and it was stunning and rise of the resistance it ties the whole land together and bowen yang i'm excited to get you on it okay great but i'm

just saying between that between like fucking all these pride events tickets being like kind of whipped up within 20 seconds yeah fucking coachella i'm seeing my friends try to get coachella 2022 tickets i'm like guys there must be a better way. Wolfer wineries. Oh, heard all about it. We talked about on this very podcast, the concept of debasing yourself, humiliating yourself in order to get into a thing that will almost never live up to the fantasy, the experience of it will never live up to the fantasy

is suffering, is pure pathology. It's actually something that humans should try to pull away from. We should avoid this. I just can't tell you how demoralizing it is to... Because it's by design. It's meant to make you want to go. That's why you're going back

again tomorrow. I have no reference for what at all you are talking about. Celeste, let me ask you a question. If you were to buy tickets to an amusement park, what would you expect? You go in

and if you want to get on a ride, you get online for that, right? That's not how it works. Imagine it was two hours before you get there. You have to download an app. And within 10 seconds of the minute it opens, you have to log on to make a reservation for that ride. And if you don't, you're S.O.L. shit out of luck.

Oh. S.O.L. shit out of luck. Out of luck. You mean. Wow. Yes. You mean? Wow. Yes. Yeah, I'm incensed. I am.

I'm incensed. I just think we gotta do this. We just gotta not do this. We gotta not. Just democratize. No, this is the thing. This is the thing. We have to take back control as the consumer.

We will not be consumed matt you will not go to disneyland you i mean you i assume you're going there but i don't want as soon as you set foot on the grounds you understand that you are a consumer and i I've always known that, but they just make it so obvious now that it's like, we don't really care. Right. And that is the kind of, that is the kind of like, just, ooh, that inhuman,

that apathetic quality to like that kind of thing, to everything, to like, from like, I don't know why I keep thinking about Coachella, but I was just talking to someone about, and they were like stressed out about coachella tickets i was like i'm so sorry but you don't have to worry about that like like there's a there's a world in which you don't care which i know is like oversimplifying it but it's like there's a world in which you don't have to

go you know like yeah i thought like that the kind of the whole thing the whole kind of gift of you know selling our selves and dignity to fucking like Disney was like being taken care of and knowing that it was fake but being taken care of anyways it's like at the very least I want to just pretend fake it for me yes

I thought this experience years ago when we went and Rise of the Resistance was like fully unhinged and was like fully unhinged and I was like this is actually not good for anyone like I don't understand why this is part like it's just not well

you know what they also have the goal to be like in the promotion of it all be like this is a can't miss if you miss this you'll be talking about how bad you feel for decades if you miss this after you paid up your ass to come here you are s.o.l you're s shit out of luck girls girls all right that was beautiful thank you matt i just and you know i don't like to be mad at my girls the disney corporation yeah yeah yeah i don't think so honey that was long for i

don't think so honey says celeste who by the way celeste will read you down that is another thing about celeste is they will read you down and they will not even and it'll be a thing of like it happens. And then you'll walk away and be like, I just got read down. You go, oh, my God. You go, oh, my. They just read me down. They just read me. I am having a little bit of like somebody. I'm visiting kind of old friends, like college friends.

And a few of my New york friends are in town and i think that they have sort of like in the past couple days like understood why is i'm like constantly roasting like yeah you are you are why why do you guys my friends from Toronto are like almost as sport, like constantly, constantly just like if you speak, you are a fucking idiot. Yeah, you were raised in a rough and tumble environment. Yes. If you are not rosy, if your mouth is closed, you are getting stomped on. Doggy dog. You sort of have to be keeping up with the rhythm.

It's the balls in the air. You made me like that. That's what I'm saying. Since I met you in Toronto when you stormed the stage and stole the show, you started bullying me. You have made enemies.

This is also something I remember. You started bullying me. You've bullied me ever since and now i and now i'm like i have this edge i never had oh my god yeah and it causes you to be industry matte yeah yeah i kind of think that that's my influence yeah most people know me as sort of a mean person no that's good you are sweet you know who's you who else is a mean person. No, that's good. You are sweet. You know who else is a mean person? Who?

Suda Green. Oh! Cruelty. Cruelty down. The biggest bitch I have ever met. One of the first things, one of the earliest things I remember her saying is that she loved Mad Men

because Mad Men, quote, understands that human life is suffering, end quote. She was 19. She said, this show understands that human life is suffering she was 19 years old her whole life was ahead of her she said that she also i showed her the show x factor and she said look how many pepsi cans there are look how there's so many pepsi cans and they pan up this girl's body and i was like oh my god this girl is so she's so jaded and smart she's gonna be mad that i'm revealing this but at one point she wrote um a game show sketch for for read through and the theme was like it was like a game show sketch about like bachelorette parties

and then there was just one specific joke i forget what the context was but it was like um do you like do something blah blah blah with your um with the bachelorette with the bridal party where three of them are like full-on fucking nobody are full-on nothing no three full nothings in the bridal party. And I'm like, oh my god. There was an Abby Huntsman joke in a VIEW parody that went, but this joke was cut because I believe Lauren said it was to me. Lauren said it was to me. And he was right in that instance

because it was actually very weird. There's an endless, it's infinite with her. Like, she'll just be speaking and she'll just say something like, yeah, she's a bento box mom aka doesn't work what I'm like what are you talking about it's knives

in every direction aka doesn't work aka doesn't work no one is safe bento box mom unbelievable she'll return soon we're doing an in-person episode with Sudi Green it is yet to be scheduled

but it will be summer of cunt for summer of cunt for and it will be a wonderful episode upcoming everyone's eagerly awaiting the return of Sudi but for now we will have Bowen Yanks I don't think so honey Bowen have you sort of marinated and decided

on a topic as a result of said marination? I have decided. Yes, yes, I have decided. Marination? Yeah. Marination. Alright, this is Bo and Yang's I Don't Think So Honey. Time starts now. I Don't Think So Honey sunsets.

Why are you giving us consistency in the color palette, you fucking bitch? We know what colors work. It's blues, it's violets, it's pinks. Don't experiment. Don't give us different eras and do, like, grays and blues. There's a universally agreed upon color palette for sunsets that works.

And I don't care that it's the clouds. I don't care that it depends on like the tilt of the earth or the seasonality of the sunset give us the same colors every single night, every crepuscule, no that's the dawn, every twilight

give us the same colors otherwise I don't want to see it, I want you to be someone who does the work and does it predictably, I don't want to see it. I want you to be someone who does the work and does it predictably. I think predictability is underrated. Like Jennifer Garner, five seconds. Oh, I wasn't bringing Jennifer Garner into this.

But you have to give us something consistent, Sunset. That's one minute. Wow. So you have a problem with sunsets that's one minute um wow so you you you have a problem with sunsets which are true verse sunsets can give you all sorts of different varieties colors you want one color story and which one would you like the most blue violet pink so sort of like a Fire Island No not even Fire Island You don't want a Fire Island sunset Some Fire Island sunsets

Can be blue violet pink I want They're mostly yellow orange I don't want orange I don't want warm tones I don't want warm tones In my scent That's horrible

And guess what Not for nothing But Lion King found dead Yes Yeah Minkoff found dead Rob Minkoff What's his name

Rob Minkoff Aka husband of Crystal Kong Minkoff found dead Rob Minkoff aka husband of Crystal Minkoff our new favorite Housewives of Beverly Hills cast member found dead Shirley Temple's found dead duh this is controversial I feel

very much I don't care it's literally colorist yeah i don't care yes i don't care your colorism i have nothing though you better you better care yes i'm gonna know i don't think so honey excuse me i believe the lyrics are have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon? What's the part about sunsets in that song? I don't

think there is a part about sunsets in that song. That's a shame. Feels like a good opportunity to mention sunsets in the Colors of the Wind song. Maybe it's just because it's called Colors of the Wind. Colors of the Wind. Okay, so majority of the Colors of the Wind found dead. I said Stephen Schwartz found dead. Colors of the wind colors of the wind okay so sunset majority of the colors of the wind found dead i said steven schwartz found dead colors of the wind he bowen said more like two colors of it i'm finding it hard to even you know you find a foothold

there's nothing there's nothing you know what I'm saying he didn't have one and then thought of that but he's so talented he made it a community it will get 500,000 likes this week I said I said this week I will come prepared with a topic

and it came to me it was immaculate the conception I thought it'll be sunsets. It'll be consistent. Give us consistency. Give us the same color story. I don't want to see different colors. He compared himself to Mother Mary. In your perfect world, the sunset looks the same every night?

Yes, yes. What is going on? Yeah, and it's like an arctic sunset. It's like a blue. Cold. You guys are acting like I'm crazy. I don't appreciate that. You guys are acting like I'm crazy. I don't appreciate that. You guys are acting like I'm crazy.

I'm crazy. Was that telling? You are. Maybe people act like you're crazy around you because you're crazy. Some things are... It's not such a high school sophomore thing to say. I don't want to do this.'m i don't want to do this

if you don't want to do this you are sol out of luck is sol parentheses shit out of luck a good title for the app yes yes is it good i love it well it's really good what's a good title for what's about to happen is celeste yims i don't think so honey okay wait i really could have prepared i can't believe i spent so long putting the towels up wow less towels more content i think I've got it. Alright, so Celeste who is now, I don't think so honey, royalty. Because this is of course not the first, not the second,

the third canonical time Celeste has done I don't think so honey. Here we go. This is Celestium's I don't think so honey and their time starts now. I don't think so honey seasonal allergies. You need to leave me and my loved ones alone. I am sneezing. I'm coughing. My nose is dry. And you win when I lose. And it is pathetic. When the weather gets nice, it means that I get happy. And you see that? And you don't like that? And you punish me for that. Okay. You made me and Bowen cough around our friends. Yes. And because there's a different reason that people are coughing right now, our coughing scared them.

Okay, and you are scary and sad. The medicine that I have to take just to keep your bullshit at bay causes me to have other symptoms of other illnesses. My nasal spray, it gives me nosebleeds. I took an Allegra before going on a date and was so drowsy that I felt like I was in a dream trying to run and i had to leave abruptly and now she thinks i'm weird you are doing illness drag and you were doing it poorly my love you wish you were contagious illness but you never will be honey you're seasonal and you're temporary and as soon as

the flowers die you'll be gone too okay get a get a life. I hope it's not easy. Oh my god, wow. You really came through. Seasonal allergies found dead. I'm sick of it. Celeste and I were in the Hamptons. I had never had that

much eczema in my life because of my allergies. We were coughing all week and people were genuinely scared. They were upset. I don't like it when people are bodily around me at all. It was scary. But I couldn't not cough. We were coughing for a long time.

It was something that not even a Claritin or a Flonase could deal with. No. That was the best case scenario. We were drugged up. Can I confess something something Celeste? yeah go one night in the middle of the night

you did wake me up because you were coughing a lot and I thought are they okay? should I go check on them? no no no this is not humiliating well it's intimate a few things are happening here I'm humiliating Celeste

I am centering myself as someone who could have done something. And chose to stay silent. And chose to stay silent. And comfortable. He chose to stay silent and comfortable in the Hamptons. And I apologize, Celeste. I apologize. Thank you.

I forgive you. I don't know why I had to tell that story. But I do. There was a night where I thought, am I going to know why I had to tell that story but I do there was a night where I thought am I gonna have to take them to the hospital it was weighing on you

it was weighing on you it was weighing on me yeah well it was like a situation of I was like opening the window to get fresh air in these lungs

breathing in the colors of the wind I truly was S.O.L. shit out of luck damn yeah at that time.

Damn, damn, damn. I just, I don't know what's going on. But this date, this date, this date didn't go well. Well, I acted really weird. And you should tell her that it was the allergies. Well, if you're still interested. Yeah. No, you're right.

It's just a kind of situation where it's running my life. I actually am interested. And I do worry that she will go ahead and be listening. Oh. We can cut this out. Well, no. It's not like that. No.

Celeste is dangerous. This is an extremely vulnerable and raw episode. Yeah. I agree. I really agree. I think that it's best if we leave it that way. Yeah. I love this. What do you guys think? best if we leave it that way. Yeah. I love this.

What do you guys think? I think we should. We should leave it. I think we should leave it exactly as is. No edits. I offer up the option to edit while Matt embraces the authenticity. I often embrace the option. But not really.

But on this episode, we were raw we were real yes we went there we went off we were in love i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry gosh yeah see if i were sleeping you know what that would have done. Can I ask you a question? Would you have helped a hacking Bowen? I definitely, I think I would have texted. Yeah. Texted? I think that...

What? Honestly, I was about to go over to you in the middle of the night and be like, are you okay? Like, let's go. So sweet. You were going to offer to leave the house? I would offer for us to drive somewhere, to go somewhere. He wouldn't have known where to take you at all.

He was going to take you out back to shoot you. Yeah, that's what it sounds like. That's the impression I'm getting. Celeste, this was a true pleasure. This was a true pleasure. This was a true pleasure. And, you know, we would like you to come back.

One of the loves of my life, Celeste. Truly love, love, love, love. Because the second you stole the show at the Toronto, I don't think so, honey. It was a true moment in time I will say that moving to New York I felt that it was possible to be there

knowing that you guys were there I have long looked up to you I appreciate you both so much you really both have stuck your necks out for me you freak on the chopping block

to be cleaved like chicken bone to be cleaved to protect me and I appreciate it I love you both very very much well this was a fun threesome and it was hot and steamy and sexy and all of our butts were it was good and then bad hot and steamy and sexy and all of our it was good and bad it was good and bad

um and then it eventually got our butts were all sweaty and hot together just like it was when you were young and in that sort of environment watching jennifer's body perfect for me and if you the reader aren't wiggling your bottoms out, then guess what? You're S-O-L. S-O-L. Adam out of luck. We finish with a song.

I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else. But you do. For more of that song, listen to the Juno soundtrack. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy, Elian Gonzalez,

was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Cuba. Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you

get your podcasts. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind-the-scenes stories, crazy details, and honestly, just having a blast talking football. Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all times, from legends to our buddies to current stars. We're finally answering the age-old question,

what kind of dudes are these dudes? We're going to find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty, and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one.

I'm Cheryl Swoops. And I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women. And T and I have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tariqa Foster-Brasby, an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment.

You can find us on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports.