Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - "Spooky Authenticity" (w/ Greta Titelman)

Episode Date: November 28, 2018

Greta Titelman (@gertiebird) joins Matt & Bowen in the studio to confront the spooky phase we (and the popstars we love) have all been through! They also discuss Matt and Greta's theoretical Riverdale storyline, crazy horny texts, the word "casual," and more!---MERCH! MERCH! GET YOUR LAS CULTURISTAS MERCH!https://www.teepublic.com/stores/las-culturistasSUBSCRIBE ON APPLE PODCASTS TODAY!LAS CULTURISTAS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST. LAS CULTURISTAS IS PRODUCED BY EMMA FOLEY.http://foreverdogproductions.com/fdpn/podcasts/las-culturistas/ Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City are back. I love that. I love that. Oh my gosh. Welcome. And last season's drama was just the tip of the iceberg. You're recording us? I am disgusted.

Never in a million years after everything we've been through did I think that you would reach out to our sworn enemy. We were friends. How could you do this to me? I don't trust her. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Wednesdays at nine on Bravo or stream it on City TV Plus. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw

interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. I was a desperate delusional dreamer. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one.

I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind-the-scenes stories, crazy details, and honestly, just having a blast talking football. Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all times, from legends to our buddies to current stars. We're finally answering the age-old question,

what kind of dudes are these dudes? We're going to find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida.

And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami? Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Forever! Dog! man oh i see wow look over there wow is that culture yes oh my goodness wow

ding dong las culturistas calling hmm well i'm sitting across from my greatest friend my greatest enemy oh how could you i knew you'd turn i don't know what's happening you know we just the energy in here is very thick and gay it's's warm. And I'll say why. Because the Food for Thought boys were just here. The Food for Thought boys were just in here. Love them. Being hoes. They were talking to the author of Boy Erased.

Could you even imagine? Of the book. He wrote the book Boy Erased. Yes. And it was very gay in here because the moment Boy Erased came up, you know, that Nicole Kidman's wig was not far behind. Nicole Kidman's wig, which is basically. Nicole Kidman's wig which is basically Troye Sivan's hair.

Wow. In many ways. That is rule of culture. Nicole Kidman's wig and Boy Erased is Troye Sivan's hair in many ways. Troye Sivan's hair down

when it's like when he's just blown it out himself and he did one of these. Like he shepherded it down. Yes. like a fall like a waterfall did you know that his song from the movie boy erase is getting oscar buzz and it's unfair that he also did a cover of some somebody to love for bohemian rhapsody it's not fair some someone it's not fair i'm not and i'm going to see bohemian rhapsody this evening

yes you are now but i say this evening, I mean, literally, this will have happened a month ago. Right. We are backlogging, honey. We're backlogging. Sure. We're podcasting term. So we're recording this November 4th.

We don't, so yeah, I mean, this is a real time capsule pre-election, pre-midterms. And here's the thing. It's not even like I have to find out if Bohemian Rhapsody is bad when I see it tonight. I literally know it's bad

have you seen this video of Rami Malek just with I mean listen celebrities get poked and prodded all the time but there's this don't I know it but there's this thing there's this thing of there's this video on Twitter of this sweet person being like just taking a little selfie video with

Rami and then she goes can you say hi to my friend Jill and he goes no not gonna no not going to you said we'd take a picture no like just is i can't recreate it but like i don't know what he's like i'm gonna say something crazy he seems on the spectrum to me oh okay interesting i think it's i think it's wonderful yes it's wonderful he um his his whole thing within these press junkets about Bohemian Rhapsody, when he's being confronted, I think them- You know who confronted him?

Into? The ladies of The View. Ladies of The View, wait, really? You know he was on The View this last week? And what did they say? And they said, Whoopi Goldberg herself asked the question. And you know she rarely asks questions. It's the rule of culture number 58.

Whoopi Goldberg rarely asks questions on The View. On The View. But she literally was like, you know she rarely asks questions it's the rule of culture number 58 will it will be go rarely ask questions on the vo on the view um but she literally was like you know he was a homosexual and this it was glazed over in the film and you know he famously died of aids yeah mommy malik was like you know it's not glazed over actually no one knows this but his longest relationship um was with a woman and you know he she found out that he was bisexual or, you know, gay. And I was like, honey, you are making every mistake right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's, who knows? But on the spectrum, maybe, which is beautiful.

Love that. Love that. Embrace that. Embrace that. You know who else we embrace? Our guests. I embrace our guests with two arms of love. Both arms that I have. Both arms that you know who else we embrace our guests i embrace our guests with two arms of love both arms that i have both arms that you have i think she is like a true icon icon both um comedically

aesthetically lifestyle i was gonna say lifestyle icon if there's a person in my life who will have a brand a brand that is like women everywhere. And gay men. But truly like I mean just all encompassing holistic lifestyle. This is our guest. You know whose life she changed and this person her life does not off change? Who? Sudi. Sudi.

Sudi like really well our guest she's a Greta lover. Many people are Greta lovers. I'm a are Greta lovers I'm a Greta lover I'm a Greta lover oh my god but Greta changes lives Greta changes lives

okay let's bring her in I mean what are the credits I mean she is one of the co-hosts of Lady Lovin Lady Lovin podcast hugely popular podcast with Lo Bosworth and Jillian Hendricks

and she might venture off and do her own project watch this space as they say watch this space and she is just hosts

incredible shows coast to coast yeah truly truly like just one of the most visible people out there and prolific on prolific that's what i meant to say and you better follow on insta at gertie bird at gertie bird and oh my god she i'm she's just the light in this world that we love my um greatest joy is when she texts me and tells me she's gonna be in town oh i love that that's

great well that's i just i throw down everything that's in my hands and i say that's fucking great and i guess i'll just wait for her to come out come out come on by welcome back welcome back sort of the song let's please welcome our guest greta title man no nicer things have ever been said about me ever in my life honestly I'm being serious you know you carry the light I carry the light you know I carry the light

you know how I learned that expression Oprah Winfrey said to Andy Cohen you carry the light and he was like thank you I can die now yeah wow no you guys really said such beautiful things about me but you know everyone well as like performers and people you know you get so insecure and anxious about like what other people think of you and like i'm constantly

looking at instagram being like this person hates me this person thinks i'm dumb this person it's just like so constant so when you hear that from because i love and admire both of you so much so hearing you guys say those things that i think about you no i you know but you know what i mean it's like you have we're all so in our heads and we're all so thinking about ourselves and we're so like narcissistic that like yes every single time i look at something i'm like well they don't like me like it's nothing to do with me it's like a baby and I'm like that baby will grow up to despise everything I am that baby will have no idea

who I am because their owner won't talk about me it's been a theme on this pod lately the way that social media gets all in our heads it's been a strong theme on the pod it's um yeah I mean it's I think it I think we have this fun generation of like homegrown narcissism where it's just like,

oh, like we might not have been this like self-absorbed with our, like just if it weren't for just these horrible, like these, like what a crazy notion to look at someone and be like, well, they hate me. I know it's so bizarre. Yeah. No, it's crazy. But see, I feel like that has existed forever. You know, and there are ways that our parents' generation were so narcissistic too in ways.

Yes. Oh, yeah. They would spit shine their Mustangs and drive out to the drive-thru theater, honey, and do grease. And do grease. Jacking off in the car. And they all had something to prove. They were all lawyers.

They were all doctors. They were all doing something. They're trying to get that American dream. And who's going to get there first all lawyers they were all doctors they were all doing something they're trying to get that American Dream saying who's gonna get there first and now lawyers and doctors are obsolete now they're nowhere to be found

nowhere to be found I keep on looking for one and I'm like hello and everyone and then I'm just on Instagram saying who here is a doctor yeah right you just quoted Taylor Swift

I quoted Taylor Swift she's got a good lawyer did you hear about this when she did her Vogue 73 questions they're like oh yeah yeah yeah what's your advice for a singer coming up? She turns back and throws a cold look over her shoulders and goes, get a good lawyer.

Can we talk about Taylor quickly? Yeah, absolutely. We can talk about her quickly for a long time, whatever. Has she turned a leaf in your book? Yes. You're feeling positive and good. You guys talked about this. Well, we have a history with Taylor.

We have a history with Taylor. Mine is a little bit more like up and down, up and down. But I think with this recent turn, I just spent like the whole week after she posted that endorsement Instagram post. Which was crazy. It was insane. The fact that 265 000 people registered registered across the country in a day or something yes and we should say we are recording this two days before the midterm so we do not know how everything turned out but right now uh it looks like tennessee is

still competitive ish yes uh phil bresden um but uh it just it's great. And like I, so then I spent that whole week afterwards just like being like, finally, I can listen to her again. Because I like really- You really didn't? I swore her off for a while. I swore her off for a very long time. And I loved Taylor Swift's first album. Our song is one of my favorite low key songs.

So good. It's very good. Our song is a slamming screen door, sneaking out late, aiming on your window I mean I listened to Love Story yesterday she's singing about God in like half of them which is crazy

yeah that last song in her first album was like and we sing hallelujah it's like wow it's crazy now she's like are you ready for it now she's like I am the queen of snakes like I am the domineering demon she's like, are you ready for it? Now she's like, I am the queen of snakes. Like, I am the domineering demon. She's like giving me very Sabrina, new Sabrina.

Oh my God, yes, it is new Sabrina. Wow, she really snatched new Sabrina's thunder. Well, I find that a lot, like something happens with pop stars where I feel like they all need to go through a spooky phase. Where they're like, I am done being this good girl. Now I need to be spooky so like Christina

was spooky with Dirty Britney was spooky with Blackout which is my favorite album even Kelly had one my December Kelly had a exactly

you gotta get spooky it's after you know when it is it's after you hit your top imperial phase that's when you get spooky because that's when you're the most unhappy

but that's true I think it is but there's some pop stars. I think Gaga had her spooky phase during her Imperial phase. She was always spooky. She was able to capitalize on spooky. She did spooky in a more avant-garde attempt of spooky than just angsty spooky.

There are different kinds of spooky. See, none of these girls lived inside spooky. So they were able to visit spooky. They didn't come of spooky. See, none of these girls lived inside spooky. So they were able to visit spooky. Just temporarily. They didn't come from spooky. Yes, Gaga came from the spook. What would you say is Beyonce's spooky phase? I think Beyonce's...

Sasha Fierce. Sasha Fierce is the spooky side of Beyonce. Really? Literally. I also think when she was going through the whole diva, I think was a spooky moment for her. Yeah. Well, wait. Now that I'm thinking about it, though.

I feel like lemonade is a spooky moment. A lot of Beyonce and a lot of lemonade is scary. Or maybe I was just too high. No, it was scary. The visuals were scary. When it's like slowly going down that hallway before. Don't hurt yourself. Six inch heels. Six inch heels.

Six inch heels. Yes. Before that. Before six inch. It's like slowly going down the hallway. And I'm like, okay, something's popping out. Spooky even? But like.

Go. We should all want to go through a spooky phase because that's when you know you've made it. I think we. Have you been through. Have we all been through a spooky phase? Excuse me. I've been through a spooky phase. Okay.

Matt. Matt just. Okay. Huge news. Huge news, everyone. Matt just changed his hair color from this Robert Redford blonde back to a dark brown chestnut. This is the darkest it's been since Marat Saad. I love this look. When I did it in college.

Thank you. I really like it, too. See, I think that the blonde was a spooky phase for you. That was spooky. It was, what, three weeks? It washed me out like a ghost. Okay. it was it was what three weeks it washed me out like a ghost okay it also gave me real riverdale like thank you for that horror everyone kept telling me i look like hey jay appa and i was

like i mean god bless you like i created a storyline for us you did you wait tell the storyline that you created i was dming that i was like this hair he like he goes back to Riverdale. He comes back. Oh, this character? Yes. And he's like, I'm here. And then Matt was like,

oh, and you're my sister. And I'm like, yes. And there's like a weird sexual tension. And we have a weird sexual thing. Like, is it incestuous? We don't know. It's a very cruel intentions type thing. And then we started,

do we start a drug ring? We start some kind of illegal. Yeah. We definitely have like some illegal dealings. Maybe we just like sell bags illegally or something like that. I said, I think both of our characters only one season. I think we both die in a fire. We both die in a fire.

We both die in a fire. That's how we go. You two are the Alfre Woodard of the Riverdale world. I think we should write a little spec script for that. I want to write the spec script. Yeah. Alfre Woodard was the spooky face of Desperate Housewives. Yes. 100%.

Sorry. Speaking of spooky face, you know who was on my plane? Victoria what's her face? Beckham? No, I fucking wish. You would have died. Real Housewives Orange County. Oh, I know. Vicky? Yes. Vicky from OC. Yes.

And I saw her and Vicky Galvinson. Yes. Galvinson. Yeah, right, right, right. Something like that. And I was expecting her face to look very spooky because it does in the show look psychotic. Yeah. Psycho, psycho.

And I will admit, I am not a Real Housewives watcher myself. But you know Vicky Gunvalson. But I know Vicky Gunvalson because she is the first housewife. She's the OG Real Housewife. She is the original housewife Is she blonde? Oh right Like sort of

Sorry to describe it this way Long face Yes She was the one who's crying When we were watching it upstate Yes She went out and cried She's constantly sobbing

Constantly sobbing And it was like unclear As to everyone as to why Like why is Vicky crying Yes I know exactly What you're talking about Oh great She does have like a down

She looks normal Dare I say She looked not spooky Yeah Turned Oh, great. She does have like a down, she looks normal, dare I say. She looked not spooky, turned out. And you think they're gonna be a spook, they're not. I'm trying to think of the spookiest person I've ever seen. Oh, are you kidding me? In New York, you see like 9,000 spooky people a day. Well, maybe it's because I'm desensitized. I feel like Queen of Spooky is,

like in our scene, in New York at least, in Brooklyn is like what, like Lorelai a little bit. Lorelai is the queen of horror comedy. Lorelai is the queen of horror spook. Yes. Have you been through a spooky phase? Oh, my whole high school time was a spooky phase. Were you emo?

You know, I'll tell you what I was in high school. You tell us. I will. I was, I had a very Like bad home life So I was just like Constantly just like high And fucking boys in high school And not doing well in class

At all really I see I feel Like my narrative that I create for you In my brain is doesn't try Gets a hundred I Honestly love that thank you That's the energy That I give off now gets 100. I honestly love that. Thank you. Because you're so powerful to me. That's the energy that I give off now.

Yes. In high school, I had a very, you can ask Patrick Foley, a fellow classmate of yours who knew me in high school. We went to high school together. No way.

Yes, yes. And maybe his preppy phase was his spooky phase in high school too. Oh. But, and again, high school,

I was just like, you know, I was just like, you know, I was just like confused and just like wanted to just, I don't know. Who the fuck am I? I wasn't even like, who the fuck am I?

I actually think a lot of people at my high school are scared and confused by me. Oh, yeah. Because I went to boarding school and I dropped out of boarding school in my freshman year. It's already spooky.

Yes, and then I transferred into a high school in D.C. where I grew up. Public school? Oh my God. No, I went to private school in dc yeah and when i transferred in there because no one did that ever this is such an oc storyline i love it this is a very like oc story yes yes yeah i went to choate board the choate rosemary hall this boarding school in connecticut where like ivanka trump went and jfk went talk about

spooky yeah that is spooky one of them's literally a ghost and i hated it and it was literal hell it was like the worst place oh yeah on the planet and i left and then when i transferred into my high school there was a rumor that went around that i was dealing ecstasy which was like hilarious in hindsight and at this but also fair But also fair. But also fair. But also fair. But also sure. Was I? Was I not?

I'm not telling. But it tracks. But I went like, at that time I was into like wearing tie dye and I had kind of this like shaggy like brown hair look. Oh yes. Very like Led Zeppelin cream. Homegrown. Black Sabbath kind of girl where I was just like i love rock and like did you actually i did but a lot of it was informed by my you know blood thirst for dick so a lot of my music taste

has always been informed by the thirst for dick you would find blood thirst the blood thirst for dick is a front runner for title that is spooky because you you don't want you're not thirsty for the dick you're thirsty for the dick blood. Yes. That's gorgeous. I need the blood of the dick. You can find Greta by the men's restroom. She goes, hmm, that's where they are.

Yeah, that's where they're hiding. The blood in the cartilage. The door with the men on it. But yeah, all of my musical tastes all through high school were informed by whatever guy I wanted to have sex with. So interesting. Cause in my sophomore year, I became obsessed with this gorgeous guy who didn't go to my school, but he loved listening to rage against the machine and the flaming lips.

And I literally wasted a year of my life listening to the flaming lips. I mean, trash, I'll say it. Trash. But at the time it felt right. At the time it felt very cool. Like Yoshimi battles,

the pink robots was like, everyone was like, everyone was like. And like, if you weren't listening to it, like, did you listen to music? You know what I mean? If you weren't listening to Flaming Lips and Sufjan Stevens in 2006, like, you were nothing. Can we talk about how like. Sufjan was huge with my girlfriends. Sufjan wrecked me and I couldn't even listen to it because I was like, this is emotionally

tormenting me. Yes, yes, yes, yes. And like the orchestra and the masks. I was like. It emotionally tormenting me and like the orchestra and the masks I was like this is insane what's crazy is that he got bigger after that yeah I would say so I mean yeah he did the score of call me by your name

he did a lot of songs for call me by your name yeah he got big but see I actually think that is the right platform for him for that kind of an artist like cause he's working with orchestras and things like that. He's not just like, I'm just a guy and my drum. I'm just trying to make my guitar. No.

Yeah, no. He was always going to be something. He gaga'd in a way. Yeah. It really was like, yeah, he became the artist. He became the artist. Okay, but okay, so walk us through this high school life a little bit more. Oh, yeah.

So then, I mean, my hair was also like 900 things in high school. You changed it a lot. It was like jet black and like deep purpley black. It was a lot of shades of black. Yes. And a lot of different haircuts. At my senior year of high school, honestly, I don't know what the fuck I was thinking. My hair was up to here halfway to

my like to my cheeks like right below my cheekbones jet black and i had crooked bangs i had crooked fucking like some sort of fucked katherine zeta from chicago yes like a really fucked deranged one and i remember my mom looking at me just being like oh god and she just like walked away i don't think she spoke to me until like some grow out happened oh yeah and my parents were big in political people so we would always have parties at our house constantly and i just remember my mom being like what the fuck did you do that for and then so did you meet a lot of interesting DC figures yeah you know it was a regular house of cards it was a regular old house of cards but yeah and then in high school I chain smoked

cigarettes constantly which is so stupid because you think you don't reek of smoke whenever anybody smokes a cigarette now I smell it for hours a mile away when I fucking have a dark moment and bum one off this one,

I smell it on myself for two days. Two days? Well, you know, I never shower. No, just kidding. I just feel like it lingers for a long time. I know. Whenever I do smoke a cigarette, which is only in Europe, I find that I smell it

in my breath for days. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Smoking cigarettes are fun. It's a social event for me. Yes. And you do it too much. No, I've basically stopped since starting work. Do you have any idea how long this has been your narrative?

How long have you smoked? I had no idea you were a smoker. I started smoking in May of 2015 just because it was a social thing at work. It was like, all right, well, everyone like it was like we would I worked this office job and like people would just be like, OK, well, there's nothing to do. Let's just go downstairs. And I was like, OK, breaking up the day. And then it just like snowballed into this thing. And I was like, oh, fuck, this sucks. Like, I don't I feel bad doing this. Right. this right and then yeah kept it up for like two years and now it's just like no seriously

this has been like the change that i've needed to just i believe i see the truth in your eyes thank you i to not even think of i don't even have time to really think about it which is great smoking is just like it's not cute it's just passing the time it's just if you're if you're smoking you're bored that's all it is but know what? There is something really fun about it. There's something sexy. Hollywood has made it still. So that when I think about, it's like dark

and I'm just smoking a cigarette looking out the window just blowing. Can I tell you what I love about it? Getting one-on-one time with someone else. Yeah. That's what I love about it.

I'm always like, let's go have, that's why I like to smoke weed. I love smoking weed with someone for the first time because it's when you really get on their level. I'm a full-on tweaker when I smoke weed. Really?

In high school, I used to do it constantly, and now I can't. Oh, wow. I one time went on a date with a guy, and he was like, let's go back to my house and smoke weed, me fully knowing I couldn't do it. And you did it anyway? Okay, I did it anyway.

Smoked a blunt, by the way. That was your first mistake. Oh, my God. I hallucinated that there was a poodle in the front yard. Oh, my God. And then he was like, you need to go. smoked a blunt by the way that was your first mistake oh my god I hallucinated there was a poodle in the front yard oh my god that's people

and then he was like you need to go I was like okay and then oh my god I don't know who I was telling

this story to so I had a crush on this guy he was a bartender at a restaurant next to my old apartment and hot

after that weed incident happened he like didn't talk to me and then i was wasted i just found these screenshots on my computer the other day oh my god when i was wasted i texted him being like do you want to meet up or not and then no response and then i was like lol just wanted to kiss or whatever guess you don don't. Dot, dot, dot. And then no response. And then I sent another text being like,

I mean, I just wanted to fuck casually. And then no response. You were that girl. I love that. And then I woke up in the morning and I was like, oh my God, what the fuck? And I sent another text in the morning being like, hey, like, sorry about last night. the morning and i was like oh my god what the fuck and i sent another text in the morning being

like hey like um sorry about last night i was a little over also over served i like i don't know why i use that word because you know he was in the industry yeah a little over served like whatever and then unbelievable he didn't respond to me And then I ended up seeing him at work. And I had happened to go to his restaurant twice in one day, which was terrible. And he just the only text he wrote back was, you came here twice in one day. Period. Not even question mark. Just period.

Okay. Well, then he's just being. He was a dick. A little dicky. Yeah. I mean, listen. That's I I so respect you

for that someone that sent that many texts what they really need to be texted is are you okay yeah are you okay

someone needed to ask you if you needed help is someone cutting you off because they should be I say I've sent so many really fucking weird text messages

yeah you can't control have you ever weird texted I was really close last night because I had more to drink than I had in a long time. We were all together last night. Yes, we were.

And I had one too many frozen margs. Delicious. Thank you, Dos Caminos. Honestly, what a treat. What a treat. What a treat of frozen margas. Greta and I both ordered

the prickly pear. What a treat. I didn't get the prickly pear. That deep, rich color. Deep rich color. The deep rich flavor. High point. High point. Oh my God, high point.

And then, yeah, was really close to texting someone. The color, the flavor. The color, the flavor. That's the best ad ever. And the after effect. Do you know what I'm talking about? Wait, what? The high point?

What are you talking about? Oh my God, you guys. When you said deep rich color, deep rich flavor, Lauren Bacall was in these ads for high point Coffee, but just the tagline for it is, look at the color, the deep rich flavor. Oh, I love it. She smells it and then she's like, the aroma. And then she takes a sip and she's like, nothing like High Point.

That's what we need again. You need to see those commercials. They're incredible. She's always like, she's walking into a limousine and there's like a small side table with a lamp in the limousine with like tea cakes and coffee.

We need that. We need major A-list actual real actresses to hawk like a simple, we need Cate Blanchett for Chips Ahoy. 100%. The best one is Lauren Bacall walks into her suite and she looks at the camera

and she opens it and she just says, my favorite time of day is night. Which is honestly the best. Iconic. I'm gonna make. My favorite time of day is night.

I wish, I wish that I had like yearbook quotes in high school, which I never got to have. But I wish that I. And just repeat like the stupidest bullshit and the most gravitas-y Hollywood glamour voice. Exactly. You know what Dave Mazzoni's is? school which i never got to have but i wish that i repeat like the stupidest bullshit and like the most gravitas Hollywood glamour voice exactly here you know what Dave Mazzone's is what you know you

love New York from i love New York so wait this is when he was in high school and it was it was big at the time yes that's really smart wow good for Dave i like how i just called that smart i know smart it was so smart smart. You were saying. Continue. I was just going to point out that Greta is like high key. Like, I mean, she's an incredible stand up,

like full stop, but then also high key, like very good at characters. Yes. Thank you. Like check out the Insta. What can we say? Talent.

She just dropped into the whole fucking bookholism of it all. And I'm just, bookholisms of it all. And now I'm just like, oh, yeah. Like, she, like, can embody that, like, better than a lot of people. Thank you. People can do it all, y'all. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City are back.

I love that. I love that. Oh, my gosh. Welcome. And last season's drama was just the tip of the iceberg. You're recording us? I am disgusted! Never in a million years after everything we've been through

did I think that you would reach out to our sworn enemy. We were friends! How could you do this to me? I don't trust her. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Wednesdays at 9 on Bravo, or stream it on City TV+. I'm Julian Edelman.

I'm Rob Gronkowski. Guess what, folks? We're teammates again. And we're going to welcome you guys all to Dudes on Dudes. I'm a dude, you're a dude, and Dudes on Dudes is our brand new show. We're going to highlight players, peers, guys that we played against, legends from the past,

and we're just going to sit here and talk about them. And we'll get into the types of dudes. What kind of types of dudes are there, Gronk? We got studs, wizards. We got freaks. Or dudes dude. We got dogs. Dogs.

We'll break down their games. We'll share some insider stories and determine what kind of dude each of these dudes are. Is Randy Moss a stud or a freak? Is Tom Brady a stud or a freak? Is Tom Brady a dog or a dude's dude? We're going to find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season.

Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, a five-year-old boy floated alone in the ocean. He had lost his mother trying to reach Florida from Cuba. He looked like a little angel. I mean, he looked so fresh. And his name, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere. Elian Gonzalez. Elian, Elian.

Elian Gonzalez. Elian, Elian. Elian Gonzalez. At the heart of the story is a young boy and the question of who he belongs with. His father in Cuba. Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom.

At the heart of it all is still this painful family separation. Something that as a Cuban, I know all too well. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, as part of the My Cultura podcast network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty, and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13

to being one of today's biggest artists. We talk about guilt, shame, body image, and huge life transformations. I was a desperate, delusional dreamer, and the desperate part got me in a lot of trouble. I encourage delusional dreamers. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate, delusional dreamer.

I just had such an anger. I was just so mad at life. Everything that wasn't right was everybody's fault but mine. I had such a victim mentality. I took zero accountability for anything in my life. I was the kid that if you asked what happened, I immediately started with everything but me. It took years for me to break that like years of work. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. Anyway, but I but I who did you almost text though? I don't want to say. I mean, just this guy. But what made you stop? What made me stop was like, oh, well, he like... I mean, this would

go nowhere. Yeah, because you're like, oh, it's 3 a.m. Was it who I think it is? It's not who you think it is. It's this... It's the guy...

Is it the other one I think it is? It's the quick fling guy. Ah, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We love a quick fling. I think it is? It's the quick fling guy. Ah, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the other one I think it is. We love a quick fling. I think that he is safe to text. Really?

I think he should text. Is he fun and flirty? He's fun and flirty, but he was also really neurotic about just being like, ugh, I like you a lot, but we shouldn't see each other again. Fun and flirty in the moment

and then heady, heady, heady afterwards. Oh, I can't deal. That's hard for me. I can't deal either long term. Fun and flirty in the moment and then after the moment too, like for like a solid two days and then something turned And heady, heady, heady afterwards. Oh, I can't deal. That's hard for me. I can't deal either long term. Fun and flirty in the moment. And then after the moment, too, like for like a solid two days. And then something turned.

And I'm looking back at my stuff and I'm like relitigating this in my head. Nothing I did. No, no, no, no, no. You need to know it's never anything anyone did. And then he just sort of changed his mind and was like, my ex is in your friend groups. We should stop. And I'm like, that's not true. Which which is like half true it's not even also i'm sorry everyone if you are like a person that is interesting working in new york city you probably know someone periphery that knows someone you know what i mean which i also think is not a big deal unless it's a big deal

to him which it felt like it was and i respect and you gotta respect but also all the time flings a fling a dick in a mouth who wants to complicate that a fling's a fling a dick in the mouth who wants to complicate that that's just the beginning of a song i'm writing i love that flings a fling a fling's a fling a dick in a mouth and who wants to complicate that but yet everyone at the same time. Can I say, sometimes it can get a little complicated. It always gets complicated. Because you know what? I hate this idea

of people being like, let's just keep it casual. Whenever anybody's like, we're just casually hooking up. I'm like, what does that mean? You haven't defined any parameters around this. So someone's going to fuck something up and upset the other. Right. And also, if you stay hooking up with that person for longer than a month in my book that slowly starts to turn into a relationship it does hello we saw two popular films about this very thing no strings attached oh true and friends with benefits benefits and came out in the same

year came out like months apart that's true like months after Black Swan which one performed better which one did you think was better I think I have to say I prefer the Natalie Portman

and Ashton Kutcher one and that's not just because your friend Guy Branum is in the movie can I say that I found the chemistry between

Mila and Justin to be a little bit more realistic though though, than the chemistry between Natalie and Ashton? It was more fun where Natalie was just like, I'm a doctor and I guess I want to blow off steam by fucking Ashton Kutcher. It wasn't as fun and bubbly. I don't believe for a second that someone as smart as Natalie Portman would fuck someone as dumb as Ashton Kutcher. However, I think that Justin Timberlake is so charismatic and Mila Kunis is so charismatic that I would just believe that they would fuck anything.

Can I say I saw Ashton Kutcher in person years ago? Literally insanely hot. Yeah, he's crazy hot. I mean psycho hot. You saw him and you're just like that iowa corn oh yeah well done corn well done corn well done whole milk i'm telling you i've

said it on this podcast before but you have to look up this movie he was in called spread best okay there's so many incredible sex scenes in it you see his like butt which is great i just yeah i guess i'm not i'm not a huge timberlake fan myself i have a bunch of issues with timberlake we had a long discussion upstate about just all the things that he is culpable and you know yeah what do you mean well here's the thing the man of the woods thing is like it's just a way for aging pop star to give up but still be like i'm so cool you know what i mean it's calculated here's an editorial is angled all this you know what i mean like for me my justin timberlake my personal justin timberlake is in a fucking suit and you better put yourself in timberlake is in a doll in in sync that was when i was still in denial

about my sexuality though and had a deep hatred for him because I wanted to fuck him so badly. What about J.C. Chazet? Yeah, same. What about Lance Bass?

No. Lance was, Lance I never fully like clung on to. Even during the gay rumors I was like, oh, I know I'm connecting on some level

with this but I don't know what and then I just never really. Did you know that he was the most popular doll oh out of all the five I guess that would make sense to me because he would look the most like Ken yeah

oh sure blonde hair because with Justin doll it's like the curly the curls are just like a little tough on on plastic those curls were tight tight tight tight tight curls. They wore some ammonium thiglocholate ass curls.

I mean, a true springboard. Yeah. It was like crazy. Truly a Brillo pad. He did have, I remember in the video for Tearing Up My Heart, when he is in his wife, I almost said wife beater, and that is a truly, that is a misogynistic thing from Long Island that everyone says wife beater when they,

when they talk about a tank, that, that a tank, a white, a white, a white, people call it that everywhere. But it's crazy that that just flies out of my mouth.

And that language, that it's just crazy. We have to check ourselves at all times, but he's in like that. What do you call it? Just a white tank, white tank, a white tank.

He's in a white tank. Oh wait. it? Just a white tank. A white tank. A white tank. He's in a white tank. Yeah. I don't know. It's insane, but it's literally replaced what it actually is. But he's in that white tank and he is like up on the bed and he rises up out of the bed and he's like, I was just like, oh my God, like he's everything and more. He's the most to say the least. Most to say the least.

I want to say, go ahead. No, no. I was just going to ask you, because this spooky high school phase is so interesting to me. You want me to get back to it? Are you interested in maybe dipping your toe back in? Even though you're so settled into this. I don't care.

No, no, no. He's talking about getting spooky now. Now. Oh, would I ever get spooky again? I feel like, would you want to? Of course. I always want to get spooky again i feel like i feel like would you want to of course i always want to get spooky here's the thing my spooky high school phase was like i was spooky like all of high school yes and but you know here's the problem with me i was spooky all of high school but i also like loved designer goods you know what i mean yeah so you can't be

full 100 spooky yeah while still like loving a Marc Jacobs silk top and while still like wanting a Miu Miu bag, you know? And there were aspects of my personality that I couldn't wash away. But now in the age of like Rag and Bone and All Saints and like all this stuff, you can intersect it both. You could, but you know what? I'm not, yes, you can.

But there is something, I need authenticity in my spookiness. Do you know what? I'm not. Yes, you can. Yes. But there is something. I need authenticity in my spookiness. Do you know what I mean? That's the key. The spookiness has to be authentic. It has to be actually scary. Because there's nothing worse than unauthentic spook. Honestly, there is nothing worse for me to watch.

Because when I see someone that is unauthentic in their spookiness, I'm like, you are dealing with a lot of pain. Yeah. And that upsets me. It does look very desperate. authentic in their spookiness and like you are going dealing with a lot of pain yeah and it looks desperate me it does look very desperate I mean like because really what they're trying to do is they're trying to get like raw and I think that's what I and I'm saying I love Taylor

and I'm so glad to revisit her and re-embrace but I feel like reputation era even now is like a little bit inauthentic that's what upset me about that album I was like this is not you like this isn't you she's good at being that. She's good at it musically. No, I don't think she's good at being that.

I don't think she's good at like... Look, if she wants to fully commit, change your hair. Number one, I want to see a fucking hair change. I need a literal physical indicator that you are committing to this. Like 1989, she did this like 1989 she should have came back with dark hair yeah give me like a brunette a dirty dishwater blonde i am on record on this

podcast saying that the neck that that we needed we don't have pat benatar right now no and i said maybe if taylor was smart she would try to come back as some sort of like rock goddess when she when we didn't know what she was going to come back and i think she came 60 of the way she tried to blend hip-hop with rock goddess with like pop i also i don't need taylor to dance honestly i don't want taylor to dance i don't want taylor to dance i don't need her to like give me this weird kind of like beyonce-esque like a bunch of people dancing with her thing. It's just because it's not good. Well, there a difference between dancing and doing choreo. Yes.

She is doing choreo. There a difference. There a difference. It's actually rule of culture number 16. There a difference between dancing and doing choreo. There is a huge difference. Yeah. And I just, I wanted her,

I wish that she had done exactly what you're saying. Like give me a dirty like dish, her, I wish that she had done exactly what you're saying. Like give me a dirty like dish water. I love that term. Give me raw. And like play the guitar. I want to see you play the guitar and sing. She knows how. I know.

That's the best. That's my favorite thing of her. That's the best Taylor is that she whips out that guitar. And you know what? Make it electric. Make it electric, Connie. I said her with an electric guitar and a fucking black haircut, that would have been pretty sick. And I also think that still pop music is missing that.

We don't have rock goddess. No. We had pop rock goddesses for a second there when that was popular. We had Kelly and Pink when they were very big. I guess the chick that's in Lady Antebellum is mainstream enough that people might classify her as being a rock goddess.

Who is? But who else? I don't know. That's like the only thing that I can think of. Yeah. And the only reason why I even think of Lady Antebellum is because my boyfriend likes country music. Oh, cute. Yeah.

I love Abe. I do too. We should say that Greta has the absolute dream of a boyfriend named Abe. In short. Yesterday when we looked or this morning, we looked at the photo of all of boyfriend named Abe. Yesterday when we looked, or this morning we looked at the photo of all of us last night and Abe was like, this photo is so cool. And I was

like, yeah. He was like, I'm literally standing with the future of comedy. No, my God. And I was like, yeah, you are. And like, do you want me to autograph it for you or something? What can I say? He's the best.

So sweet. So wonderful. It took me a long time to like respect and like a good, sweet man. Get into that. It's hard to accept love. Yeah. I think. I think it's really hard.

And I think that, you know, we've all relationships are always complicated. And I think that, and I blame this partially on Hollywood. Okay. That a lot of us think that like passion is either this like crazy, like we meet each other and we're obsessed and we're in love and it's crazy. And like our life is like insane. And then like, and then we start to to fight but like our fights are also passionate and like and we needed to do that we need to fight and then we fuck and then it's like whatever so i think we have it programmed

somewhere in our brains or at least i did for a very long time that like fighting and this constant like torment and this like drama was was love like i thought that that was love you know and it's like well how is it love if you're not like getting into these like crazy passionate fights and then like having weird ravenous sex or like arguing i don't know i i had a really hard time dealing with that yeah and you know my my parents had a terrible marriage and i saw that as my like relationship as a child model for well just parents constantly fighting and literally not liking each other and then i think i took that on and you don't realize how that stuff completely affects you as you grow and it's like then I found myself

in these relationships especially with in my like late teens to my mid until the relationship I've been now actually of men that were just like honestly really shitty to me or just like gaslit me

in some way like it was always my fault i was always doing something wrong i remember in every relationship i always felt like i'm the reason why this isn't working wow and i think that now being with someone that just like he just wants to like love me and take care of me and he's so not judgmental and we're not in the same industry which i he he tangentially works in entertainment but like so he understands comedy in this lifestyle and whatever which is great but i don't know it's hard sometimes because he wants he's always helpful to me and he wants to help me and he likes helping me and i find that sometimes i'm like you don't have to do that like i get shitty about it which is not nice but i'll just like you don't need to do that. Like I get shitty about it, which is not nice. But I'm just like, you don't need to help me.

And he's like, well, it's because I love you. And I'm like, okay, fine, you know? But it's so nice to be in that kind of relationship. But they're hard because it's like I'm a moody psycho bitch. You know what I mean? And like some days, like yesterday when we came in on a red eye and we were taking a nap at 7.30 in the morning, I started to have a panic attack and he's like, what? And I was like, I'm not

doing enough for my career. And he was like, what? You're here for the festival. He's like, it's 7.30 in the morning. What's going on? And I was like, you just don't understand. And then I get up and I'm like, I need to go to the bathroom. And I'm like, I might poop.

And I'm like, I just go. I'm so dramatic. I'm so like my mom. I'm like, I need to go to the bathroom. And I'm like, I might poop. And I'm like, I just like go, you know? And I'm so dramatic. I'm so like my mom. I'm so dramatic sometimes. And I'm like, I'm just going to get into my car. And then I'll like, speed away, you know? And it's like for nothing. And he's like, oh my God.

He's just like, you're funny. And he knows I'm just like being cuckoo. What does he work in? What does he work as? What industry? He works, he works at Netflix. Oh, great. So that's the perfect thing where it's like he understands the contours of what your career is,

but he's not doing the same thing or he doesn't want the same things necessarily that you do. He is just like all of us. Uh-huh. So driven. Yes. And I think it's really hard to all of us, so driven. Yes. And I think it's really hard to find someone that matches your drive. Right. Because I would find that I would get really frustrated with ex-boyfriends of mine that I didn't feel were as driven as me. Driven or understood.

And you know what? That's fine. I now am at a place where like what I'm trying to do is just be like an accepting loving person because it's so much energy gets taken from you when you're not and don't get me wrong I love dragging people and it's so much fun to do but it's like sometimes it can just

be like really exhausting and you're like why am I doing that you know so for all my ex-boyfriends I used to be like what the fuck is am i doing that you know so for all my ex-boyfriends i used to be like what the fuck is wrong with you that you don't want to do this like why are you not pushing yourself and then i kind of realized now it's like well maybe they just didn't want to i'm like that's fine yeah that's just not how i am programmed yeah and i think it takes a few relationships to figure that out i think i know like with my relationship that ended it was the

only one i had ever been in and that was in the forefront of my mind the whole time it's like shouldn't i be learning more from more relationships like that is something and i think too like i would seek all of my validation from other people and from this is big you know i would seek so much validation like from other people and like from my boyfriends or something and and now I'm just like I that's so empty it's such an empty way to live yeah to constantly be seeking because you're never going to get it the way that you want and like it's so stupid because you need to get it from yourself but I think that that's a that's like moving to LA for me where I

really feel like I'm starting this a new thing like I don't have the comedy community there where I went there and I felt so insecure and I felt so not validated in what I was doing because I didn't have other support system to have your back and other people to say things like oh Greta like what you guys said

at the top of the show like you got so funny so great and in me I'm like oh my god like yeah I am yeah but it's been a test for me to just know that yes yeah and I think that this relationship has helped me because he seems to just know that about me so then I'm like okay I guess I know that about me too you know and I think it's hard it's just hard to find the right person yeah I'm really relating to what you're saying I don't know I'm really relating to what you're saying because I felt like I found that in a relationship

and now not being in that relationship anymore has been the hard thing right where now you're like now you're like who likes me do I even like me or will I ever get someone like that again oh you will you will it just takes time but it just takes time it's a it's a thing but it's just like you need to also be open to it a lot of people just like that's

really open to meeting people aren't open to going out you need to be willing to like put yourself out there and you need to be willing to get rejected yes like we need to go out we need to go out we going out is important yes. We. Going out is important. Yes. Wow. I needed to hear a lot of that. I don't know. Is that. No, that's.

Is that boring? No, that's so good. And especially for, especially you just saying like, you're never going to get it the way you want if you're just waiting on someone else's approval. That sounds like such a given notion, a given thing. And like, I don't know, know like working working this job now is like all about seeking approval from other people and i'm and i'm just like i'm like oh this i'm like i didn't used to work like this no and i have to balance that out yeah and going back to spooky authenticity yes i think that like spooky authenticity a front runner i think that my and this is something that i've always craved so deeply

since the day i was born was to just be this like incredibly authentic person you know yeah you know when you see people like stevie nicks like stevie nicks was born fucking cool like i don't know she was just cool like freddie mercury fucking yeah yeah you know just some people just they they at least make you think some people that make you think that they're just like so cool right i've always just craved that effortlessness of being like authentically secure and cool and sure and confident and and i realized that it just actually takes so much fucking work. It takes work and then even those people like and this is no

this is no shade but it's like you listen to Ru's podcast or you like listen to interviews and like RuPaul is also constantly second guessing everything that he's doing anyway like it's never what it seems even with people who seem to have it sort of like and everyone that you just mentioned has such darkness.

Of course. And so much. And that's the crazy thing. Yeah. It is interesting when I meet like I was a friend of mine is dating this girl who I met recently. And she just like works a very simple job that she like, she's kind of indifferent about it, but like she makes really good money. She just bought a house.

She's like, my work isn't my life. And I just like, when she said that to me, I was like, what? What do you mean? I was like,

what do you do? Otherwise, you know, like, what do you like? So you're just working. She's like, yeah,

I mean, I'm really good at my job. It's really straightforward. The hours are good. Vacation's good. Pay is good. I bought a house. Wow. And that's it. And I'm like, actualized. Yeah. I'm really good at my job It's really straight forward the hours are good Vacation's good pay is good I bought a house And that's it Actualized

Yeah I'm like oh okay I guess things can just be Like nice Whereas everyday I'm just like tired Of feeling like everyday is a war With myself So it's like it's getting It's gotten so much better over the years but So much of my spookiness was rooted in this.

Yes. Constant. Trying to be memorable. And trying to be trying more than anything to be like to be like, this is fucking me. Like, I don't give a fuck. Like, I will go and buzz my head right now. You don't believe me. Watch.

I will smoke 900 cigarettes. I will like drink vodka straight i'm not care why did we do that we did we do that yeah i would do that all the time in high school just be like okay i'm doing barcodes on my wrist i'm getting to seven you know like what's barcode like you would do the line take a sharpie and you would just do like one one line for each shot you took oh i don't know that. You know, I was thinking about this yesterday when I was watching the SNL tape. And there was a man next to me who would never applause.

He wouldn't clap. He wouldn't clap? No, wouldn't clap. And I seriously wanted to turn to him and I want to be like, what are you trying to prove? Like, what are you trying to prove? I understand like in high school, you know, and like the other band would play and be like,

come on everybody. And then you'd have to like clap. Yes. Yes. I'm like, no one thinks you're cool by not clapping. In fact, we're contributing to the positive energy.

Yeah. I'm just like, what are you? And to me, that was like his version of being like, I just took a shot. Are you going to take a fucking shot? You know? And I'm just like,

wow, your angst and rebellion is so compelling, sir. Like, meanwhile, what if he had like a severe arthritis? And he's like, clapping is actually like severely burned.

He's like, I can't. If my hands touch, I'll die. Was he laughing at all? Yeah. He was like having a good time. Okay.

I think, but like, I was just like clap you know we we were when he didn't think something was funny he just like yeah and i'm like fuck off yeah wow yeah there's a buzzy gift on everyone's list this year that is the first hint as to what i'm talking about. Buzzy, okay? It's something you'll use twice every day is another hint. It was featured on Oprah's O list and it's perfect for everyone with a mouth. There's the third hint.

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Did you perform a lot? Yes. I loved watching Shirley Temple and I love Shirley Temple movies. I got the Shirley Temple doll. I loved Shirley Temple so much. Really? It's so funny because no one's ever... I knew Shirley Temple as a thing, but it's like for one of my peers today, they love Shirley Temple. That's so funny because no one's ever, I don't, I knew Shirley Temple as like a thing. Yeah. But it's like, for one,

for some, one of my peers say they love Shirley Temple. That's so funny to me. Well, I was like obsessed with my mom. Yeah. So I was a, I was a kid that was absolutely obsessed with my mom.

Like my mom could do no wrong. I was my mom's shadow. I like, I didn't care about toys. There are photos of me like reading, like sitting in like glasses, reading the New York Times, which I was not reading.

But I would just like sit there. You wanted to be mom. I wanted to be her. And like I wanted to wear power suits and like high heels and just like be her. Yeah, yeah. And I think that the Shirley Temple thing probably came from my mom.

She liked it. Or she was just like, look at this little girl that like performs. And I remember I was in the like, maybe I was in the fourth grade and I sobbed to my mom about how I wanted an agent. I was like, please. I was like, oh, my God. You had like what we all have a 25. I was like, please get me an agent.

I was like, I'm aging. This is sick. This is wrong. Oh my God. I was like fucking Lindsay Lohan is 11 and acting with herself. Like, this is sick. The Olsen twins.

Like, Lizzie McGuire. Oh, I know. That had to hurt. It killed me. I was like, this bitch thinks that she is Lizzie McGcguire i am lizzie mcguire oh my god wait a minute can i say something potentially silly and dumb and myopic yeah we grew up in a time where we all grew up in a time where the child the concept of the child star like fully proliferated out into things that where it was like oh okay you're

seeing kids be in shows that are for us portrayed by children whereas i think up until like maybe late 70s early 80s it wasn't like that like it was just just cartoon the only children it was just cartoons mr rogers the brady bunch and the partridge family sure but it wasn't about one child or two kids family dynamic yeah that's but it wasn't about one child or two kids. And those were about family dynamics. Families. Yeah, that's true. It wasn't about one kid being the center of the whole fucking universe. I mean, not to, whatever, but even like the Cosby Show. It was about like

this family. This family. And like different strokes and like growing pains. All those things. All family dynamic. All family dynamic. It wasn't centered solely on the kid, whereas like then you moved into the 90s. Child stars. stars it was the olsen twins like mickey mouse club mickey mouse club but it was literally like i mean i guess mickey mouse club back in the day pre-90s yeah but like but like like fucking like olsen twins videos of them going to paris just

unsupervised it's like what like this like this was never minute truly like making out with guys yeah they were like 21 22 years old it's crazy it was a it was a new thing it was a thing that just started when we were growing up and so that fucked up everything about our concept of fame being liked being like getting attention i think that is like intrinsically like linked to like our generation i agree with that because there was, I don't think there was anything like that. Even Jonathan Taylor Thomas. I remember him being like huge and,

and it's, it, that's very true. And like a very apt thing. Right. I mean like, I mean like not that like child actors weren't like didn't exist, but like not at that level.

Like the cold, like a culture keyed into these like fucking Lindsay, like in the parent, even like Raven, like, fucking Lindsay, like, in the Parent Trap. Even, like, Raven-Symoné. Yes, yes, yes. Well, we saw the globalization of, like, the media at the time when we were seeing, I think that's why it feels this way.

I do think it's- You feel this way? I feel this way, and you feel this way, and you feel this way. It's, like, basically- And you. And you. But what I'm saying is, like like i think because the media was getting out of control as we aged that's why it feels like we had finally this like centering in on these kids

because they were making money yeah and then that's what makes it even more fucked up that like i think 10 year period when we were in high school where it was cool to make fun of people who had drug problems. Yes, yes. I remember doing a presentation about drunk driving in my health class or my humanities class or whatever in high school. And one of the beats in it was predicting that Lindsay Lohan would die in a drunk driving accident. Jesus.

It was a laugh line. I showed it to my mother and she was like, why would you do that? This isn't funny. Wow. But it's so crazy because all my peers peers nobody called it out as being not funny whereas today it'd be like that's a sick thing to do but that was where we were at at 16 also it was the internet it was like the rise of the internet and like access and seeing it and it was it's it is crazy

to think about yeah but yeah I mean I would say like I, a lot of those things made me be like, oh, like I want to do this. You know what I mean? Sure, sure. And then I think I, what a person that like really influenced me was like Tracy Ullman. When I like saw her, saw her show. And then I started watching a lot of Christopher Guest movies. Like that kind of stuff

was like I want to do this you know Tracy is one of the best of all time all time but then I got all through high school

I never got into any productions and I never was like theater was just they didn't like me yeah you auditioned

and didn't make yeah auditioned and me and Patrick Foley however Patrick Foley ended up booking everything when he was like the one boy left in school that was very talented and you know then graduates with the masters from yale drama which is amazing yes and then i'm also successful in my

own whatever but then i got a little sidetracked because when i couldn't i felt so rejected from all of this that I started doing photography, which is what I studied at Parsons. Yeah. I didn't know you were a Parsons girl. I didn't know you studied photography. I did. And then I went through this whole thing where I was like,

I want to become like a Cindy, well, no, first I wanted to be like an Ansel Adams, like old, like large form, black and white landscapes, like new typographic kind of photographer I love that and then I was like spooky spooky

sorry go and then I love Cindy Sherman who similar to Tracy Allmans and Christopher Guest and other great character people she really like

was amazing and I love like Marilyn Minter and I love all of that kind of art you know so this all this all makes this is so interesting

and this all makes sense and it comes together within like how you are now where it's like someone who is like so is like so wonderfully like thoughtful about aesthetics and about you know presentation and about the way things well i just get so upset when people especially when you when i'm coming to and this is something and i love stand-up so much I'm a stand-up obviously but like something in the stand-up world it's like let's just look a little nicer.

Look nice. Yeah. Because that way because if you look bad then it's distracting. Well I just get upset like I imagine if I'm paying $25

for a ticket right to go to a comedy club and then I need to get a two drink minimum and then I'm watching you know someone on stage that like didn't even take one second to like look the flow when the final is unkempt or just like wash your face yeah you know what i mean it doesn't it's not even about i don't

give a fuck if your clothes are like designer or whatever i don't care about that just like look fresh yeah you know yeah it's there's some sort of like I have anxiety that I just said that is that bad that I just know I sort of agree in this way where it's like it's not about like looking fuckable it's that that's not what it is it's about

just respect self respect it's about self respect and it's about respecting other people and like you know I mean in some ways there are some cases in which it is a fun fuck you to like not look the part where very specific context is required. But overall, it's like, yeah, like. I don't know. I just like love dressing up and I love looking fun on stage. To me, that's just like a fun part of being on stage.

Like I want to be a spectacle, not in a bad way i want you know it's like nice that's actually one of my favorite things about doing my shows too is like picking up because it's fun it's fun to art director but i realized too we say this as people that like i did i danced growing up so like i loved costumes and like i loved you know i've always loved dressing and i realized that not a lot of people don't feel that way right a lot of people my brother does not give a fuck what he wears he's like this is a shirt these are pants lovely these are shoes

and I'm like I find that most of the time though when I'm putting together my outfit it is for me you know what I mean it's not for the audience it's like I'm always just like oh I don't want to wear this because I wore it at that show. It's like,

it's kind of nice to, I don't know. It's just a fun part of it. Yes. And I like it for me. I really do. Some people, clothing fully stresses them out.

Like I know some people that are just like. And it stresses me out too. I mean, sometimes I look at my closet and I'm like, oh God, I don't have a new thing to wear.

I hate everything. I hate everything. I hate everything that I have. Once every three weeks, this happens to me where I just hate everything I own. That happens to you guys? That happens to me constantly. I hate everything. I hate everything on my head. Once every three weeks, this happens to me where I just hate everything I own. That happens to you guys? That happens to me constantly. Yeah, constantly. But then you forget

you're like, oh, but I have so much shit. Yeah, I know. I don't know. Wait, I also want to say one more thing that informed me now that I'm thinking about this and then we can stop. No, please. No, go as long as you want. I loved watching movies like Now and Then. Do you guys remember that movie? Wait, Now and Then. Do you guys remember that movie?

Wait, Now and Then. With Christina Ricci, Young Thora Bird. Oh. Rosie O'Donnell. Rosie O'Donnell. Melanie Griffith. Demi Moore. Oh, Rita Wilson.

Yes, Rita Wilson. Huge cast. Like about female friendship. Yes, yes. Over the years. I loved watching that movie. And I loved watching Dangerous Lives of the Altar Boys with Kieran Culkin

and that guy who's terrible who I don't even remember his name. But anyway, I love watching those movies too. Like any kind of like teen, like 50s. And my friend Allie and I used to pretend

like we were living in some like 50s, like biking, like packing picnics. Grease in the Mustang and go into the drive-thru. But we didn't live. We grew up in D.C. So we didn't have like fucking lakes to bike to and like jump in with whatever. Did you like D.C.?

Do you like D.C.? Or do you hate it? Or is it somewhere in the middle? It's a weird city. It's so weird. I enjoyed growing up there because I will say I found out that I like was around so many different kind of people. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, I have friends that hadn't seen, I had no people that hadn't met a Jewish person until they left high school or hadn't been in school with someone that was like not white until they left high school and it's like i never that never occurred to me that like that was a thing just because dc is such a diverse crazy international city um so i love that aspect of it which is something that i think is great and like so important but it's weird but i mean have you always known that politics was like fucked up yeah yeah well i just remember being when bush became president everyone the world like exploded and my parents were besides themselves beside themselves we're living in dc and like them and all of this influx of because it's such a transient city because people move

there for work yeah people move there to work for who's in office and then once it's done they leave right so then out of nowhere we had all these like texans coming up and living there and all this stuff and a lot of like well that that girl's parents are big like republican donors or like this you know what i'm saying a lot of weird shit like that yeah yeah yeah and I don't know for the most part like my high school in DC is a super progressive very liberal high school yeah where I was never around like any like really conserved that was another thing on the flip side I was always around this very progressive super liberal world and then going to i did my freshman year of college at arizona and i saw a very different side of things and then going back to parsons and being in new

york it was no different so for me like realizing that people grow up in these like very conservative conservative, close-minded, homophobic, racist, that that is a real thing. That's a real thing. It influences your values. Yeah, and that was something that I remember I learned when I was like 18 and out of high school. I was like, oh, not everyone got this luxury of like... So for those things, I like D.C.

There is that. But I would never live there. I would never live there sure i would never live there dc is a place that to me completely lacks culture oh interesting that's so and it's so it is it is it does purport to be this like a beacon of our american culture because you go there and it's like the monuments and but it's really look like i have friends there that are doing great things cool things but it's not like a place where anything goes down like i don't know you know you're not moving to dc to like work in art you're not moving

to dc to work in finance you're not moving to dc to be an actor if you will there are great pockets of these things there but like i find that dc lacks culture and i think a lot of that comes from the fact that it is such a transient city that you don't have it's very rare that you find true dc people that have lived there for forever that come back that you know what i'm saying sure you have that in places like new york where you have these new yorkers that live have lived here forever and will live here till the day that they die in d. there's just not that same kind of culture. It's less common to plant your roots there.

Yeah. I'm excited to go down there at some point and do it. I don't think so, honey. I like it down there a lot. Because I do like it down there and I think we definitely As a non-native.

As someone who doesn't live there. Look, now when I go back and doing shows there, there's a great comedy scene in D.C. But they're smart. They're so smart, yeah. And it's a really fun,

smart crowd. And don't get me wrong, people are probably going to drag me for saying that i think that you explained it really well i just think it's like a different kind of culture and also i haven't lived there since i was 18 so i have well i'm sure it's a nightmare right now well my friends that live there right now i'm like what's going on you know what do they say again a lot of DC is, I think, still liberal. You know what I'm saying? It's challenging.

It's a shock when this happens. And I know everyone is beside themselves. And I think to be, I don't know, to be like a Trump supporter on a coast to me is very crazy. Yeah. Yeah. But real. It happens.

But real. I don't know. Do you see fun? Ever since you said Ivanka Trump before, I was like, ugh. Like she went to that same prep school as you went to in Connecticut? Yeah. And then my sister went to Penn and she went to Penn. Did they know each other?

No. She's a little older than my sister. Yeah. She to me is the darkest, spookiest figure of them all, to be honest. You know, spooky is like too kind of a word to describe her. Yeah, well, she's evil. She's like evil. She to me is full on evil.

I'm so tired of using the word complicit with her because it's like it's beyond complicit. She's like actively, and it's so funny how after the synagogue shooting, all these headlines come out where like Ivanka and Jared convinced Donald Trump to put out an anti anti-semitism like to like to denounce

anti-semitism it's like okay well don't like that shouldn't be necessary and she is like it's it's such a weird PR move for her to like just protect her own image it's it's such a weird pr move for her to like this is just just protect her own image it's it's it all feels so and to honestly for her to pretend like it's it's one thing for trump

to pretend that we're all this dumb because he's he's he's said before like i will use dumb people like he's literally said like i will if i run for president i'll run as a republican because they are the easier voters to control these words have come out of his mouth you can actually source this but for her to come from like where she comes from and to be young and to be this person who like is also connected to jared who was like young and had liberal friends and like they were but for all intents and purposes, liberal people. And for her to act like we are this dumb, to act like

we're going to buy this like message of like, oh my God, isn't that horrible what happened? Like we see you, bitch. Oh my God. Like we see you. Did you see that Natalie Perman on Colbert talking about how she and Jared used to be friends? Yeah. That's insane. I just, I just just look she probably endured a

shitload of abuse from her father growing up. Do you really think so? 100%. Oh like it's the whole like oh my god Donald Trump wants to fuck his daughter is like sexualizing. Complete sexual abuse. It feels very sad. Is very sad and

I'm sure her childhood was very dark and filled with a lot of abuse in many ways yeah i never i never i never think about that i'm sure that that's a real thing for her but it's the evil part to me and i don't know it's it's hard because part of me is like is it like Stockholm syndrome you know what I mean where it's like she can't help herself or something or I don't know but then once you the evil part to me is when you become

a parent to kids and when your father is the president and is doing things to literally destroy families to be so sick in your head that you can't be like you can't even say that it's wrong it's like just say that it's wrong yeah just say something to me that's evil because then as her child i would then be like what the fuck was wrong

with you yeah right yeah you couldn't have said anything she just is so complicit and shitty and that is evil being complicit is evil oh my god she's there um well that was like a beautiful slow burn of it i don't think so honey wasn't it was that and i don't think no no no no i'm just saying i'm just i mean she's beyond i don't think so any now like one time we did our we did our i think first or second i don't think so honey and i put donald trump in the troll bowl and poor monica was picked it out and it was like you can't even do and i don't i should never have put it in there because like you can't do it where do you start because where the fuck do you start it's an impossible bar to meet because it's like it's it's it's it's it's not i don't think so honey it's go to hell bitch it's like yeah yeah i

fantasize like i hope he rots in a jail cell oh there there is a part of me that and i think about this in two ways i think about it with 2020 and i think about it with what's going to happen to him inevitably and it's two things. I do believe in some sort of karmic thing. People do get what they deserve. And I think that his life has to end in a dark way. And I don't say that as someone that wishes evil on the world. I just think he will get what's coming to him,

whether it's prison or what. I think that will happen. And also with 2020, I hope, and I don't know who we're all going to get behind, but I desperately want a woman of color to beat him in the presidential race. Just for symbolism? I desperately want it to be Kamala Harris. I want to throw all my support behind her because I just want women of color to see that their undying support of what was right this whole time, because they are the only demographic

that has consistently fought for what's right and always, and they're the most trampled people in this country and in this world. And I just, I don't know if it will happen, but I just, I desperately want that. And I see karmically that's what should happen, but I don't know. I start to second guess everything about everyone we could put up and I get frustrated. Well, it's scary when you think too that the way our system, our voting system is currently,

the way gerrymandering works, the way congressional districting lines are drawn, that is a whole other fucked thing. And also, let's not forget, we still have the Electoral College, which is extremely, extremely archaic. And it's like Hillary won the popular vote I don't know and I'm always like oh right but there were still close to 4 million other people that wanted Hillary Clinton would rather have she have been president that is the disheartening

part of all of this that it doesn't matter and it it matters when we vote in primaries like people always should be doing on Tuesday because in 2020, the census is happening and that's when a lot of the redistricting is happening when hopefully we can get out of these.

They're trying to play dirty with that too. Oh yeah, you know that. No, it's really scary. It's a scary time. And I would love for Kamala, Kamala, Kamala, Kamala. It's pronounced Kamala, yes. I would love for kamala kamala kamala it's pronounced kamala yes i would love for kamala i can kamala it's hard i would love for her to be our president i just think there's a lot of i talked to um nico about this who like was just our friend who's uh lives in la he's a lawyer and he's

like a big supporter of of hers he's she's his senator and she was out there stumping up for the midterms and just talking about the positives to having someone like her run where that would motivate women of color who are the people who volunteer to go and do and the grassroots campaigning this is what wins elections now those the women that volunteer those the people that volunteer and also you know with kamala you do have like and i do think this is important, especially nowadays when you have a celebritized political machine is there is like a glam factor there. You know what I mean? There is like you can see people putting her on a poster. You know what I mean?

You can get behind her. She's a forceful and charismatic speaker. She's prosecutorial in the way that she talks to people in the Senate and she would be able to handle him. The problem with what Donald Trump, outside of him just being a problem in general, is this change in our political spectrum of being like, oh, you can just have no background in politics or policy or law and still be president. Right.

So that is just crazy. Everyone, I mean, at this point, it's probably over. Everyone should listen to Bagman by Rachel Maddow. It's a new podcast. Oh, yeah, you posted about that. And it's this eerie thing of her talking about Spirit Agnew, who's Nixon's vice president during Watergate,

and just his vice president. But he was sort of like this precursor to trump where he was this political outsider who came in who would like shut down uh like stuff at his rallies who would say like really um just white nationalist things and then people like got behind it in this weird way where people were like wait this is working this is like having an effect and so and so bridge lamanna's whole thing now is that like he like he was stopped and like this has this it's not that this is without president like precedent

like outsiders come in all the time in the cyclical way and like this is Donald Trump and all these outside this this wave of like oh unqualified people running for office is not necessarily a new thing and that it's been sort of quashed before and we just have to like

and then Rachel Maddow always says like on her show Night After Night she's like I will believe that there will be leadership to come and like change this like that I am sure of. I also think it's important too to maintain some level of belief that like it will change.

Yes. It has to. And it always does. That's the whole yin yang. It's a cyclic thing. It's just I remember like thinking learning about like

civil rights and like suffragettes and all of these things being like oh watching that will never something like that will never happen in our lifetime

I remember thinking like oh I'll never watch something like you'll never have to fight for something you'll never have to watch it fall apart in a real way it'll come back or I remember like even thinking about like protesting being like we'll never have to fight for something you'll never have to watch it fall apart in a real way or like it'll come back or i remember like even thinking about like protesting being like i'll like we'll

never have to do that or just feeling like wow like i wish there was something that we could all like really band together and believe in you know what i mean and it is very crazy that this is happening i mean this is a very very dark time yeah yeah but we should end things on a lighter note and we're gonna end it on a lighter note we are honey we're gonna talk I don't think so honey even though this has been an I don't think so honey the past 10 minutes have been I don't think so honey the state of our world yes um but

we have with us an old champion this is actually I think you've done the most you've done me and Pat you and Pat have done the most but but I always whenever I'm fucking around Greta I'm like all right if we're doing a show we must have we must have it's my favorite it's my favorite show you're an expert at it um do you have something yes i have something okay you want to start i can i would like to start you would like to start this is and this is gonna be wild okay this is matt rogers's't Think So, Honey. His time starts now. I Don't Think So, Honey. Kids at the Magic Kingdom.

You shouldn't be here. You know what? It's not for you anymore. It's for the kids that grew up that can handle themselves, honey. Because guess what? All you dads, you need to take a parenting lesson. And you need to get the fuck out of here and if you're gonna have your fucking camera on flash on these rides bitch fucking pay attention to the fucking things that

they tell you on the line the whole time which is no flash photography and then your fucking stupid kid sees you not follow the rules and then they're fucking shitting all over the goddamn grounds. And all the fucking mothers who have a problem with me for being at the fucking Magic Kingdom can get a fucking grip because I don't think so, honey. You coming up and yelling at me like I didn't pay the same goddamn ticket. Your ticket was cheaper because it's a fucking child. I paid more.

I deserve more. Fuck you. I don't think so, honey. And that's one minute. Because I saw. I paid more. I deserve more. Fuck you. I don't think so, honey. And that's one minute. Because I saw. We're done. I'm sorry. I saw a meme.

Oh, yeah. I saw this meme. This very angry mother. There was an angry mother bitch and she had had it with. She called someone a slut. She called someone the C word. She said there was a C word in slutty shorts trying to get a chicken wing that's crazy my favorite thing that she said was um this is all like in a like a like a fucking

hate polemic facebook status but then she goes um uh you you young people will never know the joy of buying your child mickey mouse ears after a long day of screaming at them or something. Yeah, we'll never know your joy. She was outing herself as a bad parent too, which I think is very funny. All I'm saying is I'm furious because the behavior is irresponsible and they must go. And honestly, fair.

It's fair. You know what? You go to Epcot, honey. You go to Walt Disney World Hollywood Studios. You go to Animal Kingdom. You have the time of your life you step into Magic Kingdom it's a fucking zoo and it's cause of these kids get out

take all the kids to Epcot as far as I'm concerned take them to Epcot have them go around the world honey culture them culture you can see so many nations

Epcot is culture honestly Epcot is rule number 17 of culture Epcot is culture gorgeous the experimental prototype community of tomorrow. Yes. It has failed.

As an idea. Great. Because now they're using their IP. You're upset. No, I'm just, I'm trying to move us along. Can I make one point? Yes. They've decided to make world showcases

like thing for their intellectual property. And that's a no. And also future world is not the future future world is no longer the future because it's become too hard to predict the future absolutely will there even be one this is Bowen Yang's I don't think so honey and his time begins now I don't think so honey

the fucking idiot who emailed our seek treatment slash cross over event advice hour and ask some fucking stupid question about their about moving to a new city okay good luck but they ended their they ended their question with also are we living in a post i don't think so honey world it's getting old and i immediately archived it i was like none of us matt pat and katherine are not seeing this bullshit because how fucking i mean whatever

you're able to like shit on my art, all you want in the privacy of your own home. Don't do it to me when we're opening up, like we're, we're giving you a channel, a direct line to us. That's so fucking rude. I don't think so,

honey. Also, there's plenty more where that came from. 15 seconds. I don't know, Matt and I have fucking ideas up, up our asses. We have so many ideas.

We have so many ideas ideas I'm waiting to Fucking douche them out from the lining Of my bowels because that's where they Come from I work from within My gut so All my elementary ideas will come Spilling forth I will literally shit On you with all the ideas that we have for

The podcast how dare you shit on This segment that has brought people joy I normally don't talk about my work in this way where but it's I think I think it's been it's been a good thing as well and how dare you and that's well over one minute I was you attack the fans you've attacked the fans and I

have to say that I'm not attacking them no this person wasn't a fan this person drag them drag this person directed their question at Pat and Catherine great I love that you listen to Seek Treatment. But fuck that because we're all on the email. And if you're, this is a Seek Treatment. Yeah, no. Seek Treatment has dirty fans.

No, stop. That's me. I'm going to throw it at them. Okay, we don't have to do that. Seek Treatment has filthy fans. They don't watch. Wow. You're stoking the flames of this conflict.

Good. That was created by Joel, first of all. Don't play into this. Fuck Joel. You're playing into this. Not even talented. Okay. Well, anyway.

Not hot. So I'm just, this particular particular person i don't care to know their name just upset me and i was like okay no no one's no one's no one's seeing this is a business model that's a tale as old as time attack the fans especially rule of culture number 54 attack the fans okay this is greta teitelman's i don't think so honey close this out guys i'm we both just we were really both very on brand just so you know know. I'm like really stressing because I, you know I. Not that attacking the fans is your brand, but you were defending your art, honey. And that's what you should do.

You know, I'm like, guys, I really. You're a champion. I know I'm a champion. Greatest of them all. I am an all-timer. You are. You are. I think I'm going to just.

Okay. Do the dance. Do the dance. Do what feels right. I think I'm going to do, I think I'm going to do one that I've been thinking for a while. That sounds great. I love that. Okay. This is, this I'm going to do one that I've been thinking for a while. That sounds great. I love that. This is Greta Teitelman's

I Don't Think So, Honey, and her time starts now. I Don't Think So, Honey pashminas, okay? If you are wearing a fucking pashmina and it is not cashmere or a designer,

get it out of my fucking face. I am sick of these girls pairing a formal look with an acrylic pashmina. I really am. Also, if you are chilly, bitch, get a jacket. Do not look cold. Do not look me in the eyes cold at the wedding wrapping yourself in a pashmina. I really am. Also, if you are chilly, bitch, get a jacket. Do not look cold.

Do not look me in the eyes cold at the wedding, wrapping yourself in a pashmina. You know it was a bad choice, and it doesn't look good. Pashminas are still a thing. Also, summer scarves. Just gonna tag it on there. Take the fucking summer scarf off. I'm sick of these accessories. I'm sick of a trash accessory. 30 seconds. Okay, I do. It downgrades the look. Also reminds me of my stepmom,

so there's that. And just pashminas as a whole. It's like, don't cheapen yourself. You know, make it elevated. Give me something more. Give me a fur. Give me a feather. Give me something more rich.

15 seconds. It's just like a pashmina. Get out of my fucking face. This isn't 1993. I'm not at your bat mitzvah, you know? So... 10 seconds left. Fuck off.

Five seconds. There needs to be more remember i did mic drop last time with the french manicures and that's one minute that then that's one minute oh wow you dragged them well and i also feel the same way about fucking beanies like get a beanie out of my face you know okay you've been talking about doing this pashmina one for a long time i have a lot of feelings about that they're just you can get a. There are a lot of cheap pashminas that exist in the world and they make the integrity of a good scarf just watered down and that is fucked.

You show up in front of Greta with the pashmina now. I will judge you. God bless. You'll be judged. I will judge you. A fuchsia pashmina. Just get out of here. If you can buy it off a stand on the street, it's not worth buying. I just want you guys to know it was going to be that or pretzels You feel this way?

Oh I had a street pretzel yesterday Wow Like every tourist in the world and famous Fictional New Yorker Carrie Bradshaw I bought a fucking pretzel off the street Did Carrie buy a pretzel off the street? She always had nuts Or she was like fake eating a hot dog, like sucking down a wiener.

Fuck her. Fuck her. Stop. We're getting out of control. It's rule of culture number 89. Fuck her. Can I just say that like, let's talk about real Hollywood ruining shit. Hot dogs.

Okay. Makes them look so much more glamorous. All right. We got to go go but i would vote for you for president oh my god thank you i really would because this is the this is the no-nonsense bitch we need i would fucking be a great president i know you would oh i can see i see the split screen between her between greta and donald and i'm not even worried i'm not just saying bitch yeah i know and he wouldn't know what to do with that. No, he'd get it hard.

He'd be like, what? Yeah. Spooky. Spooky. Is that? Okay, this sounds gross. I love that episode Spooky. Is that what needs to be?

Is that what needs to happen in 2020? Does he need to be degraded completely? Does he need to be sexually subjugated on national television? International television? To be continued. To be continued. We finish every episode with a song. Okay.

Okay. A whole new world. We're doing the pop version. That's where we'll be. A thrilling chase. A wondrous place. For you and. Can we do the harmony?

Me. No, fuck. I was trying to go up the third and then you we do the harmony? Me. No, fuck. I was trying to go up the third and then you... Whatever. Fuck. Bye. Bye. Forever Dog.

This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram, at Forever Dog Team, and liking our page on Facebook. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home, and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom.

Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13

to being one of today's biggest artists. I was a desperate delusional dreamer. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. I'm Julian Edelman.

I'm Rob Gronkowski. And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind-scenes stories, crazy details, and honestly, just having a blast talking football. Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all times from legends to our buddies

to current stars. We're finally answering the age-old question. What kind of dudes are these dudes? We're gonna find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Sheryl Swoops. And I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women.

And T and I have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Sheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby, an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports.