Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - "Sports, Sports, Sports!" (w/ Nicole Conlan)

Episode Date: August 24, 2016

Matt and Bowen enter the uncharted waters of Sports(!) with SB Nation’s Nicole Conlan! Topics include Nancy Kerrigan, steroids, and Spongebob Squarepants.LAS CULTURISTAS HAS A PATREON! For $5/month, you get exclusive access to WEEKLY Patreon-ONLY Las Culturistas content!!https://www.patreon.com/lasculturistasCONNECT W/ LAS CULTURISTAS ON FACEBOOK & TWITTER for the best in "I Don't Think So, Honey" action, updates on live shows, conversations with the Las Culturistas community, and behind-the scenes photos/videos:www.facebook.com/lasculturistastwitter.com/lasculturistasLAS CULTURISTAS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASThttp://foreverdogproductions.com/fdpn/podcasts/las-culturistas/ Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind-the-scenes stories, crazy details, and honestly, just having a blast talking football. Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all times, from legends to our buddies to current stars. We're finally answering the age-old question. What kind of dudes are these dudes? We're going to find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season.

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bowen yang this is matt rogers and this is the last culture is this podcast we are here we got our hats on we have our guest in studio ready to scour culture ready to go for culture and it's been a quite a week quite a couple weeks personally and publicly it's been a huge personal and public couple of weeks absolutely there. There's a lot to discuss. And we have a great guest, an old friend from Bowen and I's NYU days. One of my first friends in New York. Yeah, right? Yeah.

One of my first friends in New York. And we can go into this later with our history mama. That's true. But listen, she writes for SB Nation. She writes for Jalopnik. She writes for Funny or Die, Elbep Average. I could go on. One half of the sketch comedy Powerhouse

Duo, and I say that with my hands giving inflections, with Raleigh Williams, called Steve Adore. Steve Adore. You must check them out. Everyone, come on. Come on. Give it up. It's Nicole Conlon. Nicole! It's me! It's hello! Hi! Okay, this is very exciting.

Like we said, old friends. Old friends, a lot of history and i actually remember the first time at nicole but i don't know if you remember this i think i do and i'm already embarrassed no no it's so good it's so good it's so good so i became part of hammer cats which is the sketch comedy group at nyu and you guys were in danger box yes which was the improv group at nyu and i was like kind of newly out of the closet like and shyly going over to like our friend's house where we had like the opening party and like oh I don't know what they think

and I remember Colin Cordopassi our friend like saw me and kind of whispered to Nicole like a question that I knew was is he gay because like always gay men have to like check in with their straight girlfriends like is he gay like I know I'm always the wrong straight

girlfriend to check in with on that i mean also my gaydar is totally shot but also nicole at the time like and still does but like attracted an impressive coterie of gay men at nyu coterie and anyway i just remember what she said was she looked at me she looked back colin and goes this is truly nicole's essence she goes toss up toss up that's great and that's the with an earshot like you could hear her oh fully i have my dad and i are in the same way where i i have the hardest time understanding what volume i'm speaking at whenever whenever raleigh and i are out in public somewhere writing and i start getting excited about something i'll talk louder and he always has to be like, you were embarrassing me.

That's so funny because Raleigh's girlfriend, Sudie Green, does the same thing to me. I'm constantly screaming when I'm excited or worked up about anything. He's like, okay, just want to let you know. She's like, you're screaming. You're screaming at this moment. And the chain goes on, continues at me because I feel like you check my volume sometimes. My volume. When do I do that?

In like a restaurant or public space? Public space is when I like, when I get too loud and like you will like shoot me a look and be like, Bowen, behave. Yeah. I just love being the power. I love telling Bowen to shut up. Quiet down. Nicole and I go way back.

Nicole and I first saw each other in high school. So it all the way goes back all the way to Denver yeah it just we dipped a toe in Denver we met our high school improv groups were performing at the same theater and we literally met for one night and then didn't talk again you met eyes

we met eyes and you knew and we knew well then and then it took a minute where we became Facebook friends before we had even met again in person and in my you yeah and we knew well then and then it took a minute where we became facebook friends before we had even met again in person at nyu yeah and i think it took us both a while to figure out like oh that's the other person yeah yeah yeah well did you guys do that thing um where you got accepted to nyu and then proceeded to friend request randomly like hundreds of people i didn't because i was well but but I came to NYU.

It was sort of like a fluke. Like it was not, I applied there cause my high school guidance counselor made me go there. But all of my other choices were other schools. And just through like a series of random events, NYU ended up being the only option. And I was like, I had been to New York once and I hated it. And I was like,

I don't want to go there. I don't want to study theater. I don't like any of these people. And I'm too good for all of this. They friend requested me and tried to be like very welcoming and like friendly and I'm a stubborn asshole and was just like I

don't need to be friends with any. Nicole dragged kicking and screaming to the then number one dream school in the country. In the top studio at Tisch. They wouldn't let that go. What do you mean? They wouldn't let that. They were always talking about how, you know, NYU was the number one dream school, right? Here's the thing.

I need to be honest, though, because people are like, but you got in, Nicole. That's so impressive. And it's like, I think I got in because my parents could afford it. To be honest with you. I think that was a big part of the reason. Your admission? Yeah, I think so.

I actually think that they accepted a lot of people. I think it was kind of easy to get in, depending on what program you were in. I think it was kind of easy to get in depending on what program you were in. I thought it was kind of easy to get in. I think it's a 30% acceptance rate. Yeah, I don't think it's crazy competitive. Also, there's a lot of space to put these people and they want your fucking money. They're a fucking horrible scam. Yep, yep, yep.

I mean, I was thinking and I'm not not proud that I went to NYU, but I was thinking back to like some of my education. I'm like, holy shit. Oh, God. Well, I in the same way that I'm a not proud that I went to NYU but I was thinking back to like some of my education and I'm like holy shit. Oh God. Well I in the same way that I'm a very stubborn asshole and like didn't want to be friends with anybody in the theater program. I transferred into Gallatin because I'm the kind of person who's like I want to be able to do whatever I want.

So you were originally in drama. I was in ETW. Study experimental theater. Yeah and then I transferred into Gallatin because I didn't want to have to learn anything and then I went there and I was like i'm going to design my own course of study and then in retrospect it's like i learned nothing i did not learn anything in college it's like a little bit embarrassing how little i did and how little it kind of makes me feel like because i truly do believe that if i were essentially because at 18 years old when you

graduate high school you pretty much are forced to go to college. I mean, unless you can't go. If you're from the suburbs or the nicer suburbs or whatever, if you're from any middle class upbringing, that's what you do. You go to college. It's high school part two. It's high school part two. And you don't necessarily know what the fuck you want to do. I mean, I think probably all three of us thought we were going to do one thing when we went to school and ended up doing something totally different.

Yes. I mean, I, listen, my education at NYU was, like, all in the gradient towards, like, doing well in my MCATs. And now, like, with some distance away from school, from undergrad, like, I remember nothing. I bet some people would be surprised to know that about you, though. Oh, yeah. I was a pre-med at NYU, but I was on the improv group. So, like, my social circle was, like,

mostly, like, people and tish, tish kids. Like, actually, like, cool people I wanted to hang out with. I mean, like, look, there were some great people in the pre-med program, but it was just very competitive. It's very specific. When you do this, especially when you do comedy and when you hang out with. I mean, like, look, there were some great people in the pre-med program, but it was just very competitive. It's very specific.

When you do this, especially when you do comedy and when you hang out with the group of people we did, it's your brain works a very specific way and it does become very different or difficult to hang out with people who, like,

are just normal people. And that's not to say that one is better or worse. No, no, no. But it is a culture. It's a specific culture and it's hard to let it go. Oh, yeah.

And if you're always doing bits, you know, a regular conversation just becomes very stressful because you're trying to figure out like the game of the conversation. Yeah, like I'm just telling you about my time to work.

When does this, when do we laugh? When, like I remember my first year I was in liberal studies. Well, because to like reveal something about my experience at NYU, I was on essentially what was disguised as an academic scholarship but it really was an athletic scholarship I was

supposed to run track at NYU and they gave me like some a good not a great amount but an okay amount of financial aid for me to say okay it's not completely irresponsible for me to go to NYU. But because it was a D3 school, they couldn't call it an athletic scholarship. I had applied early decision to Columbia, which just wasn't a good enough student to get in there, but had the athletic seal of approval.

And the same thing happened at NYU because it was easier to get in. They gave me what was sort of an athletic scholarship, but they called an academic scholarship which i was then able to quit the track team and still keep because they couldn't take my academic scholarship away oh my god so i was on the i was on the track team for five days and then i was like no i remember you hate it you've told this story it was so bad i mean it was just like that's why i feel like you don't go to school when you're 18 or like i don't necessarily recommend it because

i truly feel if i were forced to go to college now and this is my original point that i would want to learn so much more i would seek out knowledge i have considered going to grad school not because i wanted like do anything with it but because I want the opportunity to study something that isn't. Exactly. Exactly. Put in your all. Anything related to what I'm trying to do career wise. Matt's hat just fell off.

My culture hat just fell off. Get the culture hat, Bowen. We'll talk. I have a, I have a question for you, Nicole, because I didn't,

I, I think you told me about, told me this about you with NYU with like your reluctance to, to, uh, you know, matriculate, I guess.

But like, what was your top choice so i had wanted to study ancient history uh and it's very difficult to do that in america because we're not close to any of the artifacts yeah i wanted to go to i think my top two choices were they're both in england actually i think one was maybe university of edinburgh and the other was university of manchester and so that had that had been like my plan and then my mom um and like real quick this is gonna sound like i'm blaming my mom for all my problems like things worked out well i have a very good life yeah i think i'm maybe happier doing this but like

my mom when it came time to like really like commit to a school was like i don't want you going overseas yeah and so and then at that point like the schools I had gotten into in the U S like the dates already passed or like I didn't really, I was sort of applying there cause I had to. And so it came down to like NYU or like I could go to like see you Denver. Right. Right. I think what your mom was really thinking was it's going to be very hard for

you in England to decide you want to do comedy later. Yes. I just want you to have a solid, a fallback of comedy she's very like she's actually gotten much better about it but like when i left her thing was like if you're in new york and you get like really sick or something i can be there in four hours yeah england it'll take me two days to get there and again maybe a reason why we're not ready and we shouldn't be sending 18 year olds to school because we don't want them to fucking get sick overseas. OK, well, then why are we putting them in like this kind of stressful situation? Yep. Elizabeth Conlon, your mother, just a wise woman, because I remember right out of college when I was like getting ready for my MCATs or when I was taking them or a second time around.

I remember her asking you and then you asked me sort of as like, um, like by proxy, you were like, which is so funny because now you and my mom have each other's phone numbers and you could just text. Exactly. Exactly. Hi, I'm going to text Elizabeth later. Um, and she had asked you to ask me what my plan was and like what I wanted to specialize in. And I just, when you asked me that I like froze up and that was like one of the moments that led up to me being like oh I can't do that and my mom to her credit has both my parents are physicians and both of them have always from day one been like don't the same way that comedians say it like don't do this unless you have to do yeah like don't do this unless you can't do

anything else yes yeah exactly I totally agree with that I mean it's it's crazy but i do think like as i've gotten older i have started to sort of pick up on what my other interests are yes like i really feel like if this whole thing doesn't work out i would like to go to school for like psychology or something i would love to like get a master's degree in that and maybe like sort of get into therapy like or just something like that also i am really enjoying reading a lot about like gender and like i'm i'm really liking like like all these conversations that we've been having over the past couple weeks and like our community on facebook and what's now become essentially the entertainment community at large yeah with with now what's

become this Amy Schumer controversy. It's just so interesting for me to hear all their perspectives. Obviously, I feel a certain way, but it's just really kind of... It's this interest and gender and all that stuff

that I never thought I had. And just politics in general sparked something. But it's like, but I would never have known I was interested in any of this. I don't know if I could have gotten interested in it. I think I needed the life experience leading up to this point. Right. And so maybe,

yeah, it's like, it's like everybody go to baptism by fire. Yeah. Everyone go to grad school is what the moral of this is. Nicole, we have to ask you, like we ask all of our guests,

what is culture that shaped you? Yeah. When did you think culture was for you? Sorry, we just say this every... When did you decide that culture was for you? Well, so I listened to your podcast. I knew you were going to answer this question. And in the days leading up to the podcast,

I've been like, I should think about my answer so I have a good one. And then I didn't until now. But I was sort of thinking about on the train over and I I think like many things I think I'm sort of in a weird place in my life right now where I don't know if it's just because I'm very busy or very stressed or if there's like something wrong with me but um I'm trying I like there are things that i know that i was into yes when i was younger but now i can't remember any specific thing about those things see i kind of terrifying

yes i relate to that but why do you think that is i don't know i just listened to sudi's episode and she was talking all about lord of the rings and i was like into lord of the rings and i like i like i was like a real weird i for sure have some level of Asperger's. Uh, and like at that time it was like, well, I'm in Lord of the Rings. Now I'm going to like learn how to speak Elvish and I'm going to like get all the action figures.

And I read the Silmarillion. You read the Silmarillion. Yeah. Uh, and now, but now like I can barely remember Lord of the Rings at all. And I've read those books all the way through multiple times. I've read those books all the way through multiple times. I've seen those movies in the extended editions multiple times.

I used to spend hours on the Star Wars website and probably couldn't tell you even one name of anyone on the Jedi Council. This makes me feel better that it's also happening because it really does feel like, oh, I'm losing my mind. It's that inside out moment of when what's his name fades away. Oh, God. You know? What's Bing Bong? Which whatever. But there's something else. losing my mind it's that inside out moment of when what's his name fades away oh god you know what's bing bong which whatever there's something else it's like some people can still get inside out some people can so readily answer that question like what did you grow up loving and it's because it wasn't the it wasn't a well thought out movie i just didn't love it pixar

gave it like 70 i read an article in like, maybe like Wired or something or Fast Company when that movie was in production and they were building it up to be like, this is the one that Pixar's been working up to this whole time

and it was like two years before it came out and how they like originally had a whole script and then they realized that they had done it all wrong and they had a new direction for the movie

and like that was the point. Like you should be able to start over again and then I saw the movie and I was like, that was a lot of fuss over not a particularly good movie they just make such a big fucking deal about every single goddamn pixar movie and i'm like no i know it's not better

than monsters inc you dud it you you done it you dud it you dud it guys you dud it already we're coining you rule number rule number 250. You got it. Thank you. When you make Monsters, Inc., you got it. So the stuff that I do remember about being very culturally defining for me was like, this is the thing I was talking to my boyfriend about recently. I think if I could sort of map my ultimate long-term career trajectory, it would be like I would do comedy for a long time,

and then I would maybe like step back from the spotlight a little bit and like write books or like write for television and then I would want to go like the Michael Palin route and just do like weird travel shows where I do like quips that's what I want

but I think like the first thing that I remember like being like this changes everything was there was a four part documentary series back when TLC and the Discovery Channel were like educational more or less. And it was John Cleese did a four part series about the human face and I have it on DVD and it's fascinating. I still think it's incredible and it's, it's very funny, but it's, it's John Cleese and Elizabeth Hurley are in it.

And then there's like interviews with like Pierce Brosnan and like other, but it's very funny but it's it's John Cleese and Elizabeth Hurley are in it and then there's like interviews with like Pierce Brosnan and like other but it's like all about like the way that the face is shaped by biology

and how like the brain interprets it and then how like culture culture does educational culture yes yes

and I think that is something that still kind of kind of holds true for me and then there's also like weird like cartoons I like a lot yes Spongebob Spongebob's a huge huge huge thing is something that still kind of holds true for me. And then there's also weird cartoons I like a lot. Spongebob.

Spongebob's a huge, huge, huge thing for me. I think the best 12 minutes of television ever written are Band Geeks. The Spongebob episode called Band Geeks. So do you get excited for the because we just talked about Inside Out. Do you get excited for the animated movies when they come out?

Sometimes. The thing is like the, all of them are supposed to be like, Oh sweet. And they have so much heart. But like the cartoons that I like are like, like SpongeBob, just fucking stupid. Like that's what I like.

This is the thing. Um, Andy Sandberg was on Pete Holmes's podcast and he had this quote that was like, Oh, somebody gets me. Somebody gets it. Where he was like,

um, I think important. Yeah. Doing air quotes. Important comedy is having a moment right now. Um, and that's great. And I think it should.

And like, we need it and it's doing really good, important things. But I got into comedy cause I like just doing dumb, silly, stupid stuff. It's a little too earnest and sincere now you think? Yeah.

And, and I, which I'm not gonna, I'm like Amy Schumer's show like the 12 Angry Men episode is like yeah that's an important piece of like art and comedy

and we should absolutely celebrate it I think Popstar was the best movie of the year I totally agree with you we love it's so good

we literally had so much fun watching it and also you know we just saw Bad Moms you would love Bad Moms I think I would it was so stupid

it was so dumb but it was also but also this is and this is my particular taste Bad moms. You would love bad moms, Nicole. I think I would. It was so stupid. It was so dumb. It was so fun. And this is my particular taste. Is it like sort of kind of is about a thing that you do think about. There was a message. But you get at any

quote unquote point by being so fucking stupid. Everything Katherine Hahn says in the movie is so stupid. She's a genius. Popstar is so fucking funny. Everything Katherine Hahn says in the movie is so stupid. She's a genius. Full genius. Pop Star is so fucking funny. Pop Star was so funny. It's just so funny. And it did. It recalled a time

of when I was seeing movies a lot in high school, which is we're all the same age. And so I feel like this was reminding me of Reno 911 and Scary Movie 3. I should be specific. The best one.

And like Anchorman, which was like truly dumb. Yeah. But that was what made me want to do it. And also, honestly, Lonely Island. Lonely Island. They were huge for me. Huge influence on Matt. But Nicole, okay, this is interesting because I feel like there are intersections of dumb

and important. And it's interesting that you brought up Michael Palin and John Cleese because I feel like maybe, unless you got to this later in life, I feel like Monty Python probably had an effect on you. Totally. There's this book

that I got that I can't remember the title of now. I know what book you're talking about. It's like Analyzing Monty Python. And it's like a hard book. Yeah, of course it is.

It's got like a fun like Flying Circus cover. So you're like, this is going to be a great beach read. And then it's like harder than most of the like of course like interdisciplinary texts i read in college jesus christ monty python is like truly the smartest people ever doing the dumbest dumbest show absolutely and that's how you know it should be allowed like yes exactly

yeah and it and this book because i always thought about it like oh this dead parrot sketch is so funny it's a guy who won't admit the parrot's dead and then you read this book and it's like well actually uh monty python was one of the most subversive acts on television at the time and it completely chatted and i was like oh i didn't understand it all of this is why i was funny but okay but also i do think it takes a smart person to get that kind of dumb sure i really do like i i think that like for example, were you guys fans of Wonder Shows? Yeah. I never saw it. I never watched it.

Oh, my God. You got to check it out. Or maybe it was only funny to me being really tired at night in high school. But it was so fucking funny, and it was so fucking stupid. And it was a kid's show that was inappropriate. That was what was so crazy about it. But I just remember some of the jokes that I now look back on and they still hold up for me like a random non-sequitur being like they do a sketch whatever and then a transition would be like a little girl

like having an anguished like moment and the voiceover was you're never too young for a vietnam flashback and i was and she was just like and it was just like bombs going off in the back and it was over in four seconds and i was like that to me is brilliant but i don't know what to say like that that gets it for me like i will that will stand the test of time you know you know what stands the test of time and will for all time what um scary movie three yes when no i know what you're talking about this is this is the best This is the best scene in cinematic history. The guy walks out with his daughter or whatever. It's so funny. Anna Faris and

Simon Rex. Simon Rex? Literally, we are the only ones who know his name. Former gay porn movie star. He only did solo scenes. He only did solo stuff, but he did show his asshole in Jackoff in gay porn. He was in Scary Movie 3 as the romantic lead.

The comic lead. With Anna Far ferris they have this like sweet sweet sweet scene in a classroom and he's like take it easy and he take he picks up his like niece from school and they leave and the scene lingers on the door for just like two seconds and then like dozens of crayons just like hit the door cut to regina hall the kindergarten kindergarten teacher going now who the fuck did that scene over scene over next scene so good and you know it was in the script like you know it was in the script because like what like it's just like stupid stupidest fucking interaction between anna ferris and simon ricks the door closes seconds go by all these fucking crayons who the fuck did that so moving on oh my god i think the moment within the past like five years i think that i laughed at on a television show harder than anything else was um show, Those Who Can't on TruTV.

There's just one moment. It's at the end of an episode. It has nothing to do with the episode. There's like, because it's a show about teachers. And I'm not just saying this because they're from Colorado. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not just saying that. So they're teachers at a school, and there had been like an assembly or something.

And the mascot named Terry is rolling across the the screen and one of the guys is just sitting there and terry rolls past and he goes terry you're so dumb i think i've heard you reference this you're so dumb oh my god that reminds me i don't know if this is like a like a good connection but that reminds me of when you and i nicole were at your house winter break in like 2009 watching spongebob squarepants mystery at the twistery and then that's such a funny movie such a funny movie is it a movie it's like a mystery at the twistery it's like a made for tv movie and then i referenced this oh i forgot about this until oh it's so funny and then wait can you

walk me through this again someone goes up to patrick some a fish goes up to patrick wait what does he say he goes are you a are you a werewolf it's about werewolves right i'm butchering this i have to i have to look it up now we'll look it up okay solid year we quoted we quoted this do you know what i'm realizing i'm remembering now that people love and i love is like honestly honestly, just like quotable lines. Quotable lines. Like movies and like things right now. Some people like to make fun of the guy who makes, who just quotes movies at the party, which I get it.

But there's so much of me that is that guy. Oh my God. Yeah. Do you know what I just remembered? Fucking Middle Ditch and I don't like water. I've never drank it. Middle Ditch. Oh my God. I don't like water.

I never drink it oh my god and josh rubin josh rubin and middle ditch oh my god and those college humor videos honestly you know what's crazy to to realize yeah is that we i've been watching some of the people that i like oh wait i i've been watching these two people for so fucking long like middle ditch i've been watching these fucking videos for so long like even like the derrick guys like it's just crazy like and i've we've officially like there's people that i've met now that i'm like oh yeah i watched your video in middle school middle ditch did nicole got middle ditch to do monologues for a danger box show which is so our sophomore year and then

he just kind of did monologues and sat there and was like a little like oh yeah i'm here whatever and then nicole and i made did a whole scene about williamsburg and at the time it was like it was still cool to make fun of hipsters it was still cool to make fun of hipsters and make fun of williamsburg and then middle ditch laughed a lot and i was so proud i was like middle digit likes us um the line was uh it was there was like a the spongebob line yeah patrick goes up to a fish and he's like, well, you might not be a butler, but are you a werewolf? Out of nowhere, in no context within the episode. And the guy's like, what? No.

And Patrick's like, okay. And he walks away. And then he just turns into a werewolf. And screams. It's so goddamn funny. It has nothing to do with the rest of the episode. See, that's what I mean. I love that.

We're going to return to that very soon. Like absurd, stupid comedy. It must go that way. It has to. I love that. We're going to return to that very soon. Like absurd, stupid comedy. It must go that way. It has to. That's all. That's, that's what all of our references have been tonight. Like Monty Python,

SpongeBob fucking wonder shows. And like all of those things. I do. I love it. I mean, but I do really appreciate what's going on now. Like I, I do like all of it,

but I definitely, there's room for both. I think there is room for both, especially with so many platforms. I think, well, and I I think there is room for both especially with so many platforms I think well and I think that's the issue is now it's so many like and I work for one so I've worked for multiple many

clickbait websites where it's like they want to make a funny video but they want it to have a point because that's like what's shareable or whatever and I think that's like just like an oppressive force in comedy right now i think it's the only thing that's not funny it's clickbait it's so not fucking funny and like not the show transparent i'm saying it's all transparent yeah yeah i thought you meant the

show we thought you meant the transparent clickbait y'all transparent is not funny clickbait um imagine on my tombstone um like honestly bone and i are trying to work on something right now and it's just so frustrating i have to deal with like oh you have to water it down this way and this way even though it is best this way we know that um this is you're doing like a branded thing well it's like we're trying to get something done that we really like and it's not even branded but for some reason there are marketing considerations to be had and we're like what we were told we were too niche i'm like well that's code for two gay interesting interesting way of saying that we're too gay which is like which is fucked up honestly which is stupid i mean like honestly and i understand it but like get a spine get a backbone you know it's good we know it's good

it will find an audience it's just like I understand maybe you don't maybe you don't feel like you cater to the audience and also like I understand that they have a job to do but it's just bullshit it's it's just so annoying you lose a hundred subscribers who are homophobic and pieces of shit anyway like who cares people just don't they don't they don't think about working in the internet for as long as I have is like, those people are never going to be happy. Like, just make stuff.

Like, cool, you keep the hundred subscribers who aren't cool with gay people and then you lose the subscribers who decide they're comedy experts and think you're not funny. I mean, small plug. We just had a fucking amazing experience with Comedy Central

who just let us do whatever we wanted. Did not get in our way. Didn't get in the way at all. Only contributed positively to the product. Our video with Popper Letts called Sex with My Teacher. It's coming out this weekend. We think it's great.

They didn't try to change any lyrics. I didn't realize Comedy Central was on board for that. No, yeah. That was part of it. Part of it with Popper Letts was comics to watch last year. So we got to make a video with that.

Oh, that's right. I did know that. So like it was really cool. And the whole situation was so wonderful. So it made me kind of realize like after the fact, because I didn't even realize working on it that this had been the case. But I was like, wow, it does exist. Like you can have a positive working experience with one of these like large companies.

Like it can happen. But like it seems to be these little internet companies that like don't maybe because they have more writing i shouldn't throw any of my companies under the bus except sports illustrated which i will happily throw under the bus but um but like both gawker rest in peace uh and um jalapeno still exists but gawker doesn't and sb nation have been very like they will let me kind of do whatever I want, but because SB Nation exists for sports fans and Jalopnik exists for car fans,

so there's no reason for me to do sketch content on there. But they're like, you can do whatever you want with cars and sports. Turn something into your editor at Jalopnik. I think this is incisive. I think this is really going to turn some heads. Nicole, this is a seven-page Powerpuff Girls parody. Yes, it is.

And it's pretty subversive. It's not. It's just not what we do. See ya. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. Guess what, folks? We're teammates again.

And we're going to welcome you guys all to Dudes on Dudes. I'm a dude. You're a dude. And Dudes on Dudes. I'm a dude. You're a dude. And Dudes on Dudes is our brand new show. We're going to highlight players, peers, guys that we played against, legends from the past. And we're just going to sit here and talk about them. And we'll get into the types of dudes.

What kind of types of dudes are there, Gronk? We got studs, wizards. We got freaks. Or dudes, dude. We got dogs. Dogs. We'll break down their games. We'll share some insider stories and determine what kind of dude each of these dudes are.

Is Randy Moss a stud or a freak? Is Tom Brady a dog or a dudes dude? We're going to find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of

13 to being one of today's biggest artists. We talk about guilt, shame, body image, and huge life transformations. I was a desperate, delusional dreamer. And the desperate part got me in a lot of trouble. I encourage delusional dreamers. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate, delusional dreamer. I just had such an anger. I was just so mad at life. Everything that wasn't right was everybody's fault but mine. I had such a victim mentality. I was just so mad at life. Everything that wasn't right was everybody's fault but mine. I had such a victim mentality. I took zero accountability for anything in my life.

I was the kid that if you asked what happened, I immediately started with everything but me. It took years for me to break that, like years of work. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, a five-year-old boy floated alone in the ocean. He had lost his mother trying to reach Florida from Cuba. Looked like a little angel. I mean, he looks so fresh.

And his name, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere. Elian Gonzalez. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian Gonzalez. At the heart of the story is a young boy and the question of who he belongs with. His father in Cuba. Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go, and he wanted to take his son with him. Or his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. At the heart of it all is still this painful family separation. Something that as a Cuban, I know all too well. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian González story, as part of the My Cultura podcast network,

available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Cheryl Swoops, WNBA champ, three-time Olympian, and Basketball Hall of Famer. I'm a mom, and I'm a woman. I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby, journalist, sports reporter, basketball analyst, a wife, and I'm also a woman. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. See, athlete or not, we all know it takes a lot as women to be at the top of our game. We want to share those stories about balancing work and relationships, motherhood, career shifts, you know, just all the we go through. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women.

And T and I, well, we have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby, an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeartWomen Sports. So you work at, at one point in time, prior to this week, you worked for two media conglomerates, for Vox and for Gawker Media. I mean, is there like any like crazy like is that like a weird experience at all you're just working for you're just a free agent for all this site yeah

well well i'm full-time i was full-time at gawker with jill abnick and then i left when i started at sb nation so i was i was never at them at overlapping times um it's i think the weirdest thing about it is it is so like you don't have to talk we you know you know we don't we don't have to put work on blast it's no no no and you're not at all because the the thing is it's like an unbelievably good job the thing about sb nation is like all of my co-workers it's the first time i've ever been insecure about the fact that like all of my co-workers could easily walk out of the office and into a ucb class and be the funniest guy in the oh don't you hate that and be like better than me

at comedy. Oh, I feel like that. And they just like love sports and writing and they're like, I have no interest in comedy. But they're so funny. But they're so funny. That is so eye opening

is when you realize like, I have some friends from high school who a couple of them like I know could have been superstars. Yeah. Yeah.

Like my best friend, Ken from home, he's like handsome like a movie star, like probably more handsome superstars. Yeah. Yeah. Like my best friend Ken from home he's like handsome like a movie star like probably more handsome than like Chris Hemsworth and like

so so so funny and like I feel like it's so nice and like charismatic and everyone knows it and then when he walks in the room

and I'm just like if he had decided to like try to do this like he might have been absolutely huge. Yeah. Like it's just so funny because like some people just aren't as fucking into themselves oh really yeah because because

for a long time he he didn't necessarily want to move to new york and so i was like man it sucks that raleigh williams is just gonna live in that's what i thought and then he moved here and i was like oh thank god nicole took me to one of raleigh williams stand-up sets in like 09 which he doesn't even do anymore he doesn't do, and then he killed it. It was like a 20-minute, more than that. It was like a 30-minute long set, and I was like, this guy's really funny. Why is he not in New York?

And then finally he's in New York now, and he's not even doing stand-up anymore, but he's still so funny. I love Raleigh. Yeah, I love Raleigh too, so, so much. But everyone loves Raleigh. Yeah, I mean, I think he'll be fine. You'll both be fine. He's going to absolutely nail.

But the thing is, it's just so funny to think of those people like that. Just weren't as interested in themselves as we are. Like, no, actually I'm a co-contributor to the world. I'm very obsessed with myself. Yeah. I mean,

if you, if you spend as much time on your phone as, as we do, like being obsessed with yourself, uh, I just recently started following these YouTube bloggers, these like fitness girls. Oh, yeah.

I'm obsessed with them. Would you do a better job of vlogging than they would, you think? I don't. There's a couple that I think I would do a better job, but there's some that are just like, oh, I get why people like it because you feel like they're your friends. Exactly.

I think you, and I don't like, if there's a wrong way to take this, this is not how I intend to communicate this. I will be offended. You would do so,

I think you would do so well as like a fitness vlogger. Here's the thing. I think I could have at one point, I think at this point now because I'm so like in the comedy world,

I don't, everybody else would give me so much shit for doing a fitness vlog. What if you were to what if you were to own it way ahead of them be like hey guys this is a fucking stupid fitness vlog here we go and it's actually good though yeah here's so I could do it sincerely or I have been trying to write a parody character of that for so long I think I have a weird thing in my brain where if I'm too close to something I can't write about it and that's sort long. I think I have a weird thing in my brain where if I'm too close to something, I can't write about it.

And that's sort of why I work. Not until later. Yeah, it's sort of why I work in sports and why I work in cars briefly because it was like I like these things, don't particularly care about them. So it's very easy for me to disconnect, just be like, okay, I just have to do this and finish the work. I've been trying to write a pilot about the gym. I've been trying to write that gym character. Right now

I'm working on another pilot about a ski resort. I've been working on this screenplay that, back to the history thing, I've been trying to write that Jim character right now. I'm working on another pilot about like a ski resort. I've been working on this screenplay that back to the history thing. I've been working on a screenplay about Giuseppe Garibaldi for years. Garibaldi? Yeah, Garibaldi. You're writing a Garibaldi screenplay? Oh my God. Which is crazy to me that like Italy hasn't made a Garibaldi biopic since like 1960 or

something. And it's not even a particularly good one, which makes me think there's some sort of like life rights issue and I should just let it sail away. Something like that. But, but I mean, I can still write it to learn how to write um but like all the stuff that I'm very excited about and passionate about is just like and maybe it's just because like I'm not good enough yet so it's like anything I write is going to be a little bit disappointing to me but then like I wrote this fucking I mean I shouldn't talk about this now that our friend Billy Domino has

blown up for his spec script but I wrote a spec script for the people versus OJ Simpson and I wrote it in like a day and I was like well this is the easiest thing I've ever written and the best thing I've ever why can't I write something useful but that's so interesting that like in order to right now you're at this point where you have to sort of dissociate from the subject

I think so and so maybe I should just do a sincere fitness vlog and see where honestly yeah because they say right but you know but also it is hard to do that sometimes when you're like no i take this seriously what do you mean and you see the moving parts of it yeah it's and yeah that would be really hard it's like and then there's also the flip side of that is when you like are too young to fucking know how to do anything. And I think I still am there a little bit because like back to NYU

and me doing whatever the fuck I want. I didn't really learn how to write. I was in a lot of like independent study writing classes where I churned out

a certain number of pages but I was like I'm going to write whatever I want and I'm going to do nonlinear storytelling and it's just like it's garbage.

I didn't learn how to write I still don't know how to write. There's so much form breaking. Yeah. So much like innovative form breaking in like theater school. It's like ooh I'm going to write i don't know how to write yeah so much like innovative form breaking in like theater school it's like oh i'm gonna write the fucking bottle episode my senior senior

thesis film is a point of extreme embarrassment for me and it's it's so bad that i like i've never even gone back to edit it because so many people did so much work for me for free and as soon as i finished it i was like oh this is bad and if i put in the work to finish it then that's gonna take time away from me doing actual productive things yep yes but in and of itself that there you go and it was an educational aspect yeah it just cost my parents a lot of money oh yeah that one i mean i will say like fucking i remember sitting in class at, I went to dramatic writing at Tisch at NYU. And I was in like one hour drama class where you learn how to write like an episode of one hour dramatic television. And everyone had to write a show, which essentially just became a fan fiction like jack off vest.

And I was like, I'm going to write a Grey's Anatomy because I know what this is fucking stupid. And I know I can do this just so. So just so you guys know, I'm writing this is fucking stupid and I know I can do this just so and so just so you guys know I'm writing this dumb ass show this this will be the stupidest thing you guys read ever it will be dumb I don't want anyone to think I took it seriously I'm not doing it the kids next to me are like well in my episode of Breaking Bad or in my episode of Mad Men I'm like who do you think you are that at 20 years old, you can come in here with your breaking back?

And I so, I so was that person that was like, well, I'm going to write a pilot this year and then I'm going to be some sort of whiz kid in Hollywood. And now I have abandoned that. And now I'm like, I'm 26. I'm so old. No one's going to want me anymore. And then I have the very few moments of clarity where I'm like, shut the fuck up. In my thesis class at Dramatic Writing, a kid wrote like a one hour script about like a man in the 1680s who always was going into fugue states and like becoming a different person. But like the fugue personalities were helping each other solve a crime.

I was like, this is, it was called fugue. He just loved it. Oh, because fugue is also a musical type that would have been around during the 1600s.

Honestly, it was crazy. And he probably just watched that Breaking Bad episode where Walter comes back from his fugue state and they keep saying the word fugue, fugue, fugue, fugue.

Literally, fugue state was not a thing before Breaking Bad. It wasn't. It's true. It's 100% true. I love using it as like fugue, fugue, fugue, fugue. Literally, fugue state was not a thing before Breaking Bad. No, it wasn't. That's true. It's 100% true. I love using it as like a way, oh, yeah, when I went into my fugue state. I was on a fugue state on Fire Island.

Yeah. We always refer to our Orlando trip as one long fugue state. Absolutely. That's what it was. That's what it was. Okay, Nicole, the loose theme for this episode is sports, sports, sports. You just said that you don't care for sports all that much, which is completely well and good.

I mean, is there anything? I mean, I don't watch sports, really. So, I mean, I kind of got into sports. I mean, I was seeing a guy who liked basketball a lot, and he was a sports writer at the time uh and then for various really various reasons the relationship didn't work out and then now we both look back and i'm like well thank god that you moved away and it didn't it never would have worked and now we're friends um but uh so i kind of got interested in it because of that and then we were in that

weird time after college where it's like, I, okay, I can't get a job unless I like have something to show for myself, but I don't have like a portfolio because I don't have a job. And it's just this endless loop of like, you can't ever get started. So I started blogging for free for some basketball blog.

And then I met somebody in a sketch class who introduced me to somebody at sports illustrated. And then I think largely because a sketch class who introduced me to somebody at Sports Illustrated. And then I think largely because Sports Illustrated need more women. I've also exclusively worked in very male-dominated fields. And so I think many times I have been a diversity hire, which has led me to be just like, this is going to sound terrible

for all of the other affirmative action programs in the world, but I have been vastly underqualified for every job I've ever had, except for the one that I currently have, because I have learned from the jobs I was underqualified for. Yeah. And it's been like, because it's sports,

it's very, and like, yeah, I don't care what work I make. I'll do whatever you want me to do. I do think having worked in sports for as long as I have, like I've grown to appreciate it. And I think that it can be a very valuable lens for looking at other parts of

culture through. And I think the best thing about sports is it's easy to make analogies and like explain complicated concepts to people. Cause sports is sort of a, a level playing field sports. Um, um, but there,

there are very few sports. Like once I'm done working in sports, I'm, I will probably watch occasional basketball games. I'll watch golf. And I don't think I'll ever watch another sporting event. And I'll watch the Olympics because the Olympics are the best. The Olympics are the best.

I used to be obsessed with baseball. Like Major League Baseball. Like obsessed. Like in a real way. It wasn't even like, well, dad liked this. So it was like in a real way obsessed. Like the way you become obsessed with like. A TV show.

A TV show or anything like that. It was like an obsessive thing. And now I look back and I'm like, that's so funny because I don't even remember how that could happen. Like I don't even understand how that could happen to me now. Yeah. And I think it's part of like, it's like sports was one of those things that got ruined for me as I got older because I realized it was all fake. And like, it was one of those things where I was like, no, I'm actually not going to

give that a break. Like, like you, you get older and you watch sports and you realize, well, they're all on steroids or most of them are on steroids. And then like, for example, with baseball, like that, that, that entire world, like everything about that, the game in 1998 that made it so exciting you know the home run race to find out that those were two like actual monsters sammy sosa and mark mcguire was like not something i was willing to like forgive sure sure whereas like you get a little older and you realize like the oscars are fixed or something and like they

pay for those awards to be given out and you're like eh i get that it's a business for me it's like they're ruining these men's bodies and it's crazy yeah like with the doping things with the olympics i'm like that to me is insane they can't be wanting to do this and if they are there's like mental issues and like also have you seen there's a great documentary called bigger faster stronger that is about steroids and it's it's very interesting it's not the most well-made documentary because it's like a big gym guy who's like i want to expose steroid culture in the gym and he does like the best job he can but it's not he's never gonna be like errol morris you know but that's very good um um the other thing that like sports is useful for me because i have a i'm a real weirdo and i like i said i for sure have some level of asperger, like sports is useful for me because I have a, I'm a real weirdo

and I, like I said, I for sure have some level of Asperger's and sports is just a very easy way for me to talk to people because it's like, especially because like,

I don't, I don't get that much about sports. I'll be the first person to admit that, but I understand the things to say to make it sound like, you know, sports and then you just let

the other person talk and then it's like, we're friends now. That's so smart. I totally get that. It is like an entry point. I find it very useful for. And I was like, we're friends now. Yeah. So smart. I totally get it. I find it very useful for me, but it's not something I particularly enjoy. Totally.

I think I'm more like that with music. I'm in a full vacuum with sports. Like I honestly, like I have such like, you know, nothing I will. Yeah. I mean,

pretty much nothing. I mean, I know like the, like the, like the real like pervasive things that are like cut through. It's also, I will say growing up in colorado around broncos culture is such a sports turnoff it was it was a huge turnoff for

me i was like why do you guys worship this guy john elway i mean i know like like i'm sure i don't know how you feel about john elway nicole but i moved to i moved to colorado 1999 1998 and i was like these people all worship this person. Why? Like I didn't, like coming from Canada where it's like it didn't really matter as much. It's very weird. And I also have like a lot of like ethical issues with the NFL now.

Like you're like, there's a 97% chance that an NFL player will get brain damaged. Like that's not a thing that we can, like kids shouldn't be playing football. I'm happy that that's coming out. And honestly, I say that my father for 30 years was a varsity football coach and i think it's so a part of like that it's all part of the culture that like it's this it's really still really taboo where you kind of want to tap people on the shoulder and be like but actually look at what's happening yeah like

actually if an eight-year-old boy has multiple concussions he's fucked up for life my dad was is like one of the most naturally gifted athletes i've ever met and he was drafted by the dallas cowboys out of college um and he ended up not doing because this was in the 70s when it was like he would have been a wide receiver he was like a skinny white guy wide receiver And professional athletes didn't make the money back then that they do now. And he knew he probably only had like a couple years in him. And then he was like, well, I'm going to have to go get a real job. And then I've been like out of school for two years and like didn't make sense. So he turned it down for a variety of reasons.

But now I think like if he had a son, I don't know that he would have let his son play football. And he's and he even like because he's a physician like he gets he treated kids with sports injuries all the time he's an orthopedic yeah yeah yeah um and so he sees all the injuries and i think i think even he has come around to being like football in its current state is bad we got to do something about it and even he still watches football as a fan you It's just so ingrained. And also, not even about just their health, but the way that they act.

I mean, they hit their wives. It's not isolated. It's crazy. And I don't want to pretend that other athletes are way better, but there's so many problems in the NFL. And I also do think there's a racial element to it absolutely where it's like we why don't we care that we're that these men are kind of killing each other out there is it because they're black because like a lot a lot mostly white men own these teams like mostly white men making the decisions like that feels kind of

strange to me yeah if you really think about it like the concept of of individuals owning sports teams is always like never made sense it's bizarre i mean it's like oh we'll trade this one to that one it's the kind of thing where if you think too hard about it you're like sports are bad yeah well it's it's bad because there's money yeah that's why it's bad it's bad because it's all about money it's not about winning it's really not at the end of the day like it's about money yeah and that is why no one is wanting to say anything about um these these kind of sports injuries and what they do and also why for so long we didn't say anything about the steroid use because everyone fucking knew yeah everyone knew how like if you i'll tell you who didn't say anything about the steroid use because everyone fucking knew. Everyone knew.

I'll tell you who didn't know, the fans. Because I think everyone just like ignorance is bliss. And you see these like hulks of men. You see Mark McGuire and he's this marvel. And you think, wow, he's our Babe Ruth. And you just keep living your goddamn life. But those team owners all knew. Like, Come on. I remember I went to

a doubleheader, the Mets versus the Cardinals in 98. This is like three quarters of the way through the season. We saw Mark McGuire in batting practice hit 17 home runs in batting practice. It was one of the most amazing things

I've ever seen in my entire life. I'll never forget it. And I remember I stood, like I was on the floor level, on the ground level, but on the third base side, like 10 rows back, I had great seats for this doubleheader with my dad. And just watching him do this and seeing how big he was, even from afar how much bigger he was than everyone else, I was like, whoa. And now to not

even have that kind of feeling in your head like there's something weird going on here. Like, there were grown men and grown adults there that were around him that knew and they ripped everybody off. It was fake. It was cheating. It was theater.

Culture number three. Sports are bad. No sports. Sports are bad. are bad because like everything's fake right i mean everything you you grow up and you realize the politics are fake the fucking entertainment industry is fake sports are fake but it's like there's something about this and pretending how noble it is that's what it is and i think that oh to circle back around um i think that's why maybe i am so drawn to like just really stupid dumb comedy because it's like it's not because life is not trying to be important like it is life is a far there's no artifice in dumb comedy yeah it's not like trying to like present itself as anything other than like this is dumb right yeah yeah like you guys know the world's fucking dumb right it's

all fake it's all a thing it's like what rupaul says world's fucking dumb right it's all fake it's all a thing it's like what rupaul says what does rupaul say it's the matrix the matrix honey like this is i think ever since i heard this spoken out loud by rupaul it now makes so much sense to me it's like the wizard of oz it's like once you realize there's a man behind the curtain you get disappointed in your instincts to get fucking angry but it's like don't get angry just like understand the truth which is that all everything is fake and then play in the fake play in the fakeness yeah and why we get angry because we realize we got bought that's why we're so mad it's like we got bought by the mcguire sosa thing and like come on that was so stupid. And I just remember like,

I think even the next three years after that, like hearing even for a second, like the first time I think I heard like Mark McGuire cheating steroids, I think I knew even then I was like, oh shit. Like I got to back away from this. This is so stupid. It was over for me after the Subway series. I was like, no way. You think you can pinpoint your like distaste and disenchantmentment with sports to the i think i can i think i can pinpoint well with baseball i

think i can pinpoint it to when the rest of the fucking country was like fuck this everybody in the country was tuned in for the subway series it wasn't just a new york thing to my understanding it was like nationwide it was like such a big deal everyone thought about the home run race that was national news it was on the cover of every newspaper it was such a big deal now who fucking cares it's like what we're gonna be surprised like oh a rod's fucking who he's how doped up they're like he's getting retiring okay cool i would have thought he was gone five years ago like maybe it's just that my priorities and like the way i entertain myself have changed but like i feel like nobody really takes it that seriously anymore sure i mean i have i have no context for this so this is really i mean it's

really it's really difficult to enforce people talking more about the fucking halftime shows than they are the superbowls you know what i mean like they really are yeah like who cares anymore like i don't know i guess people do but wow and then this has nothing to do with anything but i watched it last night um but uh there's this documentary called oh fuck i think it's called all this mayhem i think but it's about so tony hawk was the first skateboarder to land the 900 uh and then there's like there's some people who say that like this other guy did it in practice but like the camera didn't quite catch it but like he's the first guy who like here i did it i did it in a contest here's irrefutable proof that i did it but this is a documentary about these two like

australian guys who they explicitly say like yeah from the moment i started skateboarding i just knew i had to go to america because i had to beat hawk and it's and their whole thing is like they just want to beat tony hawk and and the documentary like sets it up as like like these guys were better skateboarders than tony hawk and tony hawk was a big dick to them and there's a conspiracy to prevent them from spinning this trick in the in the uh whenever i guess 99x games i think like they kept him out and these guys were better skateboarders. Uh, and then like the rest of the documentary is just like their lives like falling apart and them doing like every drug on earth.

Spoke out. Yeah. And then, and then I read an interview with Tony Hong afterwards and he was like, they literally made everything in that documentary. Yeah. And it, and I watched that man.

I'm obsessed with these kinds of documentaries where it's like shitty dudes who are capable of doing one really good thing and then they just can't their lives fall apart there's a documentary about the guy who made he wrote the script for reservoir dogs or excuse me not reservoir dogs uh that's tarantino um boondock saints uh and he was just like a shitty boss and guy who was working as a bartender yes yes yes in la and he wrote this script and somehow it got to the Weinstein company and they were like, yeah, we'll buy it. And so then he got famous and then he just like brought all of his weird Boston friends

into it. And the reason there's so much footage is because he was so into himself that he made one of his friends just film everything. And there's like 20 speeches that he's giving his friends where he's like, we're going to we're going to fucking shake this town up. Yes, I've heard of that. We're going to shake this up and we're going to do something that he's giving his friends where he's like, we're going to we're going to fucking shake, shake this town up. Yes, I heard. We're going to shake this up and we're going to do something that nobody's ever done before because he was in a shitty band also.

And we're going to we're going to dominate the box office and we're going to dominate the music charts. Nobody's ever done that before. And I wanted to be like tons of people. I love Dolly Parton, Elvis, Barbara strice and uh like frank sinatra madonna madonna like so many people but he was like this band is going and then you never actually hear their band play they got a record so this guy sold the screenplay for boondock saints and then somehow his band got signed to a record deal because of the script for boondock saints and then somehow his band got signed to a record deal because of the script for

boondock saints and the record label had never heard this band play they were just like well you did boondock saints we'll let you and then like the record deal falls apart and they like can't stop drinking and it's like wow boondock saints literally every older kid on my track team and i like ran cross country in high school and like the guys with like long hair who were like did track they all quoted boondock saints in their boondock saints is the movie that like the seniors in high school like yeah exactly they were like you don't get it but like boondocks and now if i think about it i'm like was there a plot to that movie yeah um have you ever seen the tanya harding documentary no it's been on my list for forever you must i will watch it is because it's truly a crazy person on display i mean and

she's just got so much of her own belief in herself in her eyes and she's sitting there telling you like listen to fucking conspiracy and you're like you truly are a crazy person on a global stage like and and honestly i two things i think are fascinating which i never really got until recently well three i mean the lewinsky thing like now is fascinating to me because truly you understand how cruel america was to her and that was a story not of a president cheating on his wife because honestly she probably fucking knew about it and i don't think she really cared i think she had to pretend she cared but i think that's a story about america turning their back on that woman and i thought i think it's a story of the first real online bullying i think we'll look back on that in 100 years and saying that was the state

of the world at that time but also the oj situation i had no idea he was as big as he was it's crazy did you watch the 30 for 30 no i haven't but i heard it's amazing 30 for 30 there's stuff that takes place in that documentary that would not be tolerated in a scripted series because like this could never happen but it did for him i mean there's a point in episode one where one of oj's high school friends is like i remember we played a hilarious prank on oj one day one day we were we were all alone in the locker room and we pulled a gun on him oh that's the prank oh my god that's it it's crazy i also i didn't because i've only ever known him as a murderer yeah the trial happened oh yeah and i said like a football player i remember i so i started watching the people versus oj the

ryan murphy show and i was like hold on so good so goodJ, the Ryan Murphy show. And I was like, hold on. So good. So good. And I was like, hold on a second. He was like a hero. A national hero. Already that famous. I texted my dad.

I'm like, how famous was OJ Simpson at the time of his arrest? And he responded, he was the most famous athlete of his generation. And he was more than that. He was a movie star. He was on commercials. He was the first kind of sports star to do that and then i was like okay so this is like as if michael jordan or lebron james or like serena williams that's where it happened to side note do you follow serena williams on uh snapchat she's incredible she's unbelievable she's phenomenal so i hear but i

have yet to follow i love serena that documentary too the Serena and Venus documentary that's the truth she did she did a Vogue 70 fucking whatever questions oh yeah I saw that and she was incredible yeah she's funny

she's so funny she's also amazing in the sorry video the Beyonce sorry video she's just fucking getting it on Instagram there's this toast filter I don't know if you've seen it

there's literally a filter that's just a piece of toast with a hole for your face yeah and she just does it just looks at herself it's so funny that's hilarious she's one of with a hole for your face. Yeah. Yeah. And she just does it. It just looks at herself. It's so funny. That's hilarious.

She's one of the good ones and she's one of the best athletes of all time. So good for her. And the third one that I want to say is what I can't believe is the fucking Tanya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan thing. I can't believe that happened. Yeah. It is. What a bizarre period in our history.

And it was figure skating. Yeah. it was figure skating yeah it was figure skating it which makes it so much more perfect like you can't come up with a better character than tanya harding the figure skating world champion trailer trash you can't come up with the better and the ice princess nancy kerrigan yeah why you can't they have to do it, it's not, you can't do American Crime Story because like nobody died. But they need to give it the People vs. OJ treatment. Oh, I would watch the hell out of you. You need American Crime, what is it called? American Crime Story.

The People vs. Tanya Harding. We need something. Yeah. We need to switch. Because you could do American Crime Story and then not do the People vs. You could just do American Crime Story and then not do the People Versus. You could just do American Crime Story Tanya Harding and get like fucking

Sarah Paulson to play or have her be fucked. Honestly, that would be perfect. I would live, die, and come back to life for that. You got to get involved in that show somehow.

I got, I mean, I want to make this back. She had her like weird dumb boyfriend. Oh, Jeff Galuli. Yeah. Who was one of the guys who beat. Oh, Jeff Galooly. Yeah. Who was one of the guys who beat her up? Jeff Galooly was one of the people that hired the two like goons.

Oh, he hired them. The two fucking true idiots to try to kill or beat up Nancy. Oh, her? Okay, I'll do it now. No, not now, not now. What are you doing? Like so, and honest to God, broad daylight. Yeah. Like truly, like, and then honestly to god broad daylight like truly like and then what are you doing this the

circus and like just i can't believe oh man that and also like the amount of shit that she got for like literally like who knows if it was like a little put on or not i don't know nancy kerrigan but i believe that nancy kerrigan like is a little bit of a piece of work too because she was like truly, she's the face of white privilege. But Tanya's also white. No, no, no. But Tanya never had any privilege

in her goddamn life. Oh, sure, sure, sure. That's the thing. When you watch the documentary, you're almost like with Tanya. You're like, yeah, this bitch had to go. She was rich. She had the endorsements. She had to go. was rich she had the endorsement she had to go

she had to get clubbed that's beautiful we had to clear the way for tanya no one no one's fully good no one's fully evil i love that shades of gray shades of gray it's like game of thrones bitch it's the rule number 78 of culture there is a shade of gray that's the rule listen i can't believe those three stories of the 90s truly could only have happened in the 90s but then again here we have trump running for goddamn president so maybe it all gets more but you know what also as we learned today the title of this episode life is a farce life is a farce a theme that we've touched on multiple times we've come to a segment in our show um this is a favorite segment yes this is uh is called I Don't Think So, Honey.

Now, you have to pick something in culture that you are feeling some kind of way about. And you got to rail against it and say, I don't think so, honey. As many times as possible. As many times as possible. It doesn't have to necessarily make sense. Do we all do one or do I just do one? We all do one. You have to say, I don't think so, honey. And you got to be passionate.

Okay. So, I have one. You're going to go first because I have one too. You go to say, I don't think so, honey. And you got to be passionate. Okay. So I have one. You're going to go first because I have one too. You go first though. I actually came prepared this week. I came prepared this week too. I came semi-prepared. Okay.

Same. I knew my subject matter. So give me your phone so I can do the clock. All right. So this is Bo and Yang. I don't think so, honey. And go. I don't think so, honey.

Chinese consulate and the Chinese consulate website, honey. I don't think so, honey. The website for not being very clear with the guidelines on what paperwork I should bring, what should be notarized, what IDs I should bring, what inviter identification I should bring. It is not clear whatsoever. And I am not going to wait in line for hours and hours at the consulate, which is only open five days a week, weekdays from 9 a.m. to 2.30 p.m. Horrible hours.

Why can't you accommodate those of us who work from 9 to 5? I don't think so, honey, for those stupid hours. I don't think so, honey. I'm not going to wait in line for that much time and then have me turned away from the window because I don't have the appropriate paperwork filled out or the right amount of copies or what have you. I don't think so, honey. This is a farce. I want to get into my country

that my parents grew up in, that my grandparents live in, that all my extended family is from. I have a connection to this country and I understand that things are sensitive right now with tourism coming into China. But I don't think so, honey. This should be an easier process. You should trust me implicitly

when I try to go back to China to get a visa. I don't think so, honey. That is one minute. That is one minute. That's bonings. I don't think so, honey. And boy, it was more words per minute than you've ever had.

I got very, you know what? I get very flustered. I get a little marble mouth. But you know, it's hard for me to- I think we did a great job. Thank you, Nicole. But wow, I just had a lot to- I think now it's gonna be easier at the consulate.

I think they heard that, and they're gonna clear the way. Consulates are part of culture, and we need to hold them accountable as cultural institutions. Consulate culture. Consulate culture. Without what we're living in.

Yes. Okay, I have one and it's not going to be as incisive as yours was. It's getting more passionate. Great. Here we go. I love passion and incisiveness, but sometimes we can only do one. Here we go. Okay, here we go. One minute starts

now. I don't think so, honey, that one blonde pundit that I see on all the shows and you know who you are. I'm not even kidding about this anymore. I saw you after the debate. I saw you after the Republican National Convention. And I don't know her name, but I know her face.

And she is the one, and in her eyes, whenever she talks to somebody who is of a different race than her, you can see fear in her eyes. And I call her out because I look at her, and she was actually trying to tell a black gentleman on CNN the other day that Obama has done less for the black community than Donald Trump will. And it was crazy, and I was like, you are the kind kind of person who if you were walking on the street and you saw a black person coming your way you would pull your bag tighter to you shame on you you have deer in the headlight eyes you have blonde hair I've seen you before I'll finish you

and I'm done with you and I'll find your name I'll say it next episode that's one minute I don't know her name okay is it Dana Bash she's on CNN you look it up while I do mine. Is she conservative? Dana Bash. She's not particularly conservative, but I don't know who you're talking about.

It's not like Mika Fox or Mika Kelly or whatever. Is it Mika Brzezinski? It is not. It is not Mika Brzezinski. I know her. Dana Bash. It is not Dana Bash. No.

But isn't it crazy? You'll finish her. All these women look the same. I mean, especially on Fox, but okay. It's crazy. It's stupid. We'll get to the bottom of this. Okay. But Nicole, are you ready for your one minute? I mean, especially on Fox, but okay. It's crazy. It's stupid. We'll get to the bottom of this. Okay, but Nicole, are you ready for your one minute?

I'm ready. Thanks, honey. All right, and here we go. Okay, War Dogs? I don't think so, honey. I don't think so, honey. Have I seen it? No.

Am I going to see it? I don't think so, honey. War Dogs looks exactly like Wolf of Wall Street, which I hated, but minus the attractive main character. Uh, it's just two ugly guys. And now instead of a story about how one person fucked over a first world country,

now it's about how two guys fuck over a third world country. I don't think so. Honey, wolf of wall street was the movie version of a story that a drunk coked out coworker. You barely know tells you at a party that will not end I don't think so honey those actors are not real actors that

screenplay is not a real screenplay I don't think so honey it's being marketed to 14 year old boys who are now it's propaganda all it is is propaganda for 14 year old boys to suddenly love war it's exactly what Jarhead was it's exactly what Apocalypse now was back in the day.

I don't think so, honey. I'm not going to support this regime, especially when you could go see fucking war dogs or not war dogs. When you can see bad moms, which is great. Yeah, that's one minute.

Wow. All right. Who is in war dogs? Is that Adam, Adam divine? No. Who is in war dogs? Fucking,

uh, um, the, the guy who's, he was in, um, Wolf of wall street uh fucking jonah hill yes ew wow no get him out he's in it uh and it might be adam it's it's not adam devine but i

think it's a guy who looks like him sure well it's an average white guy playing an average white guy character based on a true story about how they killed a lot of brown people. Miles Teller, no way. Honestly, I don't think so, honey. Miles Teller. I don't think so. Our producer Joe is agreeing with his body. Do you say I don't think so, honey? Joe hates Miles Teller. I can't stand Miles Teller.

What else has he done? I'll tell you what he's done. An obnoxious interview in Esquire. Oh, he's the guy. He's the guy. And also, I met the fiance. He's the guy. And also, I met the fiance of the woman

that wrote that article. It was so random. He actually is Henry's friend. Oh. And I was out for drinks with Henry and his friends and this guy goes, yeah, I'm getting married.

And I was like, oh, what does your wife do? And he said, she's a writer for Esquire. You might have read that article about Miles Teller. She wrote it. I'm like,

that was amazing and started a real conversation about what a that article about Miles Teller. She wrote it. I'm like, that was amazing. And started a real conversation about what a fucking douche dick he is. I love it. I love that he's out of the closet with his douchiness. Oh, yeah. And he's also like, it also truly... I don't need any more Leonardo DiCaprio's. I don't need them. I don't need them.

Give me more Zoe Saldana's. Give me more Zoe Saldana's. Give me more Halle Berry's. Rule number 106 of culture. I don't need no more Leonardo DiCaprio's. Give me more Zoe Saldana's. The best rule. You know, I just want to say one thing before we close. For those of you that are friends with me on Facebook,

which you all probably are. I love doing my own podcast where i'm like addressing a broader audience yeah but i know who you are and if you haven't friended me yet friend me i usually will see if we have over 10 mutual friends and then we'll accept it there you go open myself up to a lot of people that way um i just want to say i posted the trailer of a movie called kidnap that's coming out with hallie Berry and this is the trailer of the century.

I think, Nicole, you might know this. Is there an award for best trailer? I think there is. I don't know what it's called but I think there is

and that trailer should win it. It should win every award. For every time she says, oh God! Oh God! Every time she just talks, the whole movie

is her talking to herself. The whole movie is, oh no! Where's my phone? god my son my kid you listen to me i will never stop to get my kid does does she have a contract is there something in her writer that says that she must say you listen to me yes absolutely you listen to me i mean listen it's oh you listen to me would be a great title for a podcast to me you listen to me that should have been with this she oh she i think she even says let me tell you something let me tell you something and the best line the best line that ends that whole trailer you took the wrong kid blackout which somebody also andrew farmer posted

on the status honestly this is so real they were oh, so glad the person that stole the kid is in a very easy to see turquoise getaway station wagon. It's the easiest color to see in the world. It's so funny. I love it. I love these Taken movies. It's basically Taken.

It's red eye meets obsessed meets Taken meets flight plan meets speed meets... I love it. I live for these fucking movies. We need more of them. I don't feel like there's enough.

Honestly. We need one character, Halle Berry, Chase, Thrill. Yes. I hope they're calling it a thriller because I'm thrilled. I'm thrilled, baby. I'm thrilled. Well, listen, maybe we all go see it. I will do that.

After we're done recording, let's pick a day. I'll go see it. The do that after we're done recording let's pick a day i'll go the last movie nicole and i saw together was the artist and thank thank you so much nicole for coming we love nicole where can we find you on social media you can find me uh very confusing there's a 14 year old girl in australia who snatched up some of the fuck her yeah so on twitter it's at nicole conlon on instagram and snapchat It's at the Nicole Conlon. The. The. You can look up Steve Adore comedy and see some sketches. I think that's about it. Great.

Nicole, we love you so much. We love it. Thank you for being in the show. We love it. Las Colas Teresa's podcast. Thank you, Forever Dog. Thank you for listening. Thank you. Bye-bye.

I'm Matt Rogers. That's Bo Nyang. Bye. Forever Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Joe Cilio, Alex Ramsey, and Brett Bohm. For more podcasts, please visit foreverdogproductions.com. I'm Julian Edelman.

I'm Rob Gronkowski. And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind-the-scenes stories, crazy details, and honestly, just having a blast talking football. Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all times, from legends to our buddies to current stars. We're finally answering the age-old question. What kind of dudes are these dudes?

We're going to find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba?

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