Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - “Squeeze From the Back” (w/ Joel Kim Booster)

Episode Date: September 25, 2019

This week Matt and Bowen welcome back their first 4 time guest, Joel Kim Booster! They play Actress or Star, discuss Sunnyside, the new NBC show Joel's starring in, these LA gays, LOVE, and more!MERCH! MERCH! GET YOUR LAS CULTURISTAS MERCH!https://www.teepublic.com/stores/las-culturistasCONNECT W/ LAS CULTURISTAS ON FACEBOOK & TWITTER for the best in "I Don't Think So, Honey" action, updates on live shows, conversations with the Las Culturistas community, and behind-the scenes photos/videos:www.facebook.com/lasculturistastwitter.com/lasculturistasLAS CULTURISTAS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST. LAS CULTURISTAS IS PRODUCED BY EMMA FOLEY.http://foreverdogproductions.com/fdpn/podcasts/las-culturistas Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City are back. I love that. I love that. Oh my gosh. Welcome. And last season's drama was just the tip of the iceberg. You're recording us? I am disgusted.

Never in a million years after everything we've been through did I think that you would reach out to our sworn enemy. We were friends. How could you do this to me? I don't trust her. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Wednesdays at nine on Bravo or stream it on City TV Plus. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw

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or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy, Elian Gonzalez, was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home, and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami?

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Wow. Look over there. Is that culture? Oh, my goodness. Wow. Bowen, look over there. Wow, is that culture? Yes. Oh, my goodness. Wow. Las Culturistas. Ding dong, Las Culturistas calling. And I guess our guest today just heard that there was another three-time guest

that had to swoop in and become the first four-time guest. You know, our guest will always be breaking boundaries. I was going to say. Making history. Living history. You know, he's the first person to star in an NBC sitcom premiering this fall. Yes. Actually, tomorrow.

Tomorrow. It's premiering tomorrow. Which is September 26, 2019, the year of our Lord. I mean. He's the first person to star in a show. What are you doing? Are you mocking his? No, I was simply making a light jump no no okay take all the humor out of this right now i'm very proud okay thank you take all the humor out of it and that's my job is to take all the humor out of it so i so thank you for meeting me at my level i would say

that you out of the two of us do bring the gravitas. Well, not the lack of humor. I've been listening back to episodes and I'm like, I'm a, I cannot. Vain. No,

yeah, I think you said that I've been vain. But it's vain of me to listen back to old episodes. But I've been listening to episodes and

your findings have been? I cannot make it through a cohesive sentence, a coherent sentence. See, I couldn't even do that. I said cohesive instead of coherent. I'm a stupid bitch.

First of all, you and I both know, and all the listeners know, that you absolutely know the difference between cohesive and coherent. But just then, when I was mid-sentence, I did not know, and I had to backtrack and correct myself. Oh, it was terrible.

I was so embarrassed. You don't enjoy listening to yourself back? It's just, I really have to brace myself. And I'm like, God, sometimes the questions I'll ask trail off. I'm really trying to get to this place of true self-critical stuff. And I can see I can even, it's early, but we're recording early. Right. And I just want to say that it's one of the great thrills of my life

to listen back to myself on this podcast. And I'm so proud. I think you always. By everything that I say and everything that I do, I'm just like, I'm so proud of myself. To be honest, I think you're being sarcastic, but you should be. What are you talking about? I listened back to you. I'm like, Matt.

I was like, oh, Matt. Thank God for Matt. Matt is truly like hitting all the right marks conversationally. Well, that's kind of you to say. I feel that I'd be nothing without you. Bitch. I'm sorry, can we talk about how early it is? Yeah, it's 9 a.m.

Which is early. Can I say something? It's early because we're New York trash. But in Los Angeles, which is, I know, a boring topic. No. People will be up at 7.30, 8. 8. Things like that.

Fully, things like that. Things like that. With the coquettish look. Did you want to comment on my outfit? Matt Rodgers is currently wearing the vintage first edition, limited edition, although we do have plenty of them.

There's about a thousand shirts of this kind. Sitting on the shelf in Forever Dog New York, but you are wearing the original I Don't Think So Honey shirt. You know what we should do with those shirts? What? Get a t-shirt cannon and shoot them at people. That's what I want to do. Oh, but then that makes them feel too disposable.

I disagree. I think that, well, they are disposable. Look at them. I know, but I'm saying like one day that will be a collector's item for four people. You think they'll be like Spice Girls dolls? They'll be like Princess Diana Beanie Babies. Although at the time, no. Princess Diana Beanie Babies were always

premium. Luxury. Here's a question. What can you actually sell Princess Diana Beanie Babies for now? I'm sure thousands of dollars. Thousands? Yes. Well, then I'm sitting on the thousands of dollars because guess who owns a Princess Di Beanie Baby?

Twa. And the one with the Irish Shamrock. Twa. You. Me. You. Is that what Twa means? Twa means you.

Oh. And wow, that's amazing. Well, I do have one. And I have the white one with the Shamrock. I have the Peace Bear. I have the Princess Diana Baby. Well, I do have one. And I have the white one with the shamrock. I have the peace bear. I have the Princess Diana baby. Peace bear feels so ubiquitous. Peace bear everyone has.

But I'm speaking as someone whose parents were like, my sister and I begged to buy Beanie Babies as kids. And my parents were like, what the fuck? No. Little animals, stuffed animals to put on your, I think we went to an open house once when we were trying to find a house in America. We went into one and this kid had a room

that was literally hundreds of Beanie Babies on their bed. Yeah, that child was me. Okay, oh, got it. So we went into your bedroom. But Yang and I were like, this is amazing. We want this. And my parents were like, just saw this pile of small stuffed animals

and they were like, absolutely not. That is not what your life is going to be like. Well, I was allowed to have many hundreds of Beanie Babies and I had many hundreds of Beanie Babies and I... Were you allowed to have Pokemon shit? I was allowed to have Pokemon shit.

Were you allowed to have Barbie dolls? Barbie dolls, not that many. Yang, I mean, only Yang could buy them. I couldn't ask for them. Right, of course. We talked about the Aladdin Barbie doll. Right, of course. Just a true sexual awakening at a young age.

Can I ask you, do you know, here's a quiz for you. Okay. Before we bring our guest in. Yes. What was, at the time, Oh. Before we bring our guest in. Yes. What was, at the time, what were they saying was going to be the NSYNC doll to accumulate the most value? Out of the five NSYNC Barbie dolls,

they said one of them would accumulate the most value and that was the hardest one to get, quote unquote. I think it's either Lance or JC. It was Lance. And which Spice Girl was it? Posh. It was Jerry it was Jerry oh yeah that makes sense Union Jack dress yes of course then there you go iconic

iconic speaking of iconic speaking of iconic history making boundary breaking yeah you know first four-time guest and honestly who else would it have been truly no one else truly no one else this is because no one else would have the audacity to say i'm going to be no first four-time guest and it's that kind of audacity that shakes up the industry and changes lives you know we just spent a gorgeous few days

with this person on fire island let's we gotta bring him into this conversation to recap we're not going to do any recapping off the top by ourselves. No, but we should say one of the stars of NBC's upcoming show, Sunnyside. Thursdays at 9.30 on NBC. Thursdays at 9.30 on NBC. He just finished. We're recording this in August, early August. He just finished taping a stand-up hour.

Very sick boy. And, God, he truly is a Judy. Historic, prehistoric Judy., historic, prehistoric Judy. Historic, prehistoric Judy. Everyone, please welcome into your ears the iconic, sexually viable. Yes. The fertile.

The outstanding Joel Kim Booster. I gotta tell you, the, uh. Outstanding. Outstanding. Joel Kim Booster. I gotta tell you, I have nothing. What do you mean you have nothing? Right off the top, I have nothing interesting to say. I was walking over here and I said, what am I doing? What am I doing? It's not even been a year. I have not learned anything since the last time we.

You think we've learned anything? Truly, my mind is a fucking clean surface. I felt the whole time yesterday laying in my bed, I was like, we're all just playing chicken about who's going to cancel this first because I was like, I was waiting. I was waiting for one of you to be like, Joel, it's too early

unless you have something important to fucking say. We're not doing this. Literally, do you want to know something? This morning, I got up at 7am and I was like, should I cancel? No, I would have been so mad. I actually literally saw

in my mind's eye. But first of all, it is not that early in the grand scheme. It's so early. I was up until 3 last night working. Why are you making that our problem That's up to you That's up to me What were you doing before that

Being on Grindr Talking Talking to man on Grindr No here's the thing Is that we were on Fire Island I'm sitting by the Joel and I are sitting at the dock watching the sunset Brag

No stop Anyone can do it Ireland I'm sitting by the Joel and I are sitting at the dock watching the sunset truly my favorite no stop this is not a brag anyone can do it not everyone's that privileged if you pay the $9 one way and that's it and the $20 LIR the sunset is free and the sunset's my number one top favorite part of the whole trip every year

but we're on the docks and Joel goes I'll come record this week I was like, okay. And it was as simple as that. And for anyone else but Joel, we would have been like, absolutely not. Can we, let's roll back the tape. I'm just saying it's Joel's idea.

Because I said, should we record this week? It was not a command. It was a very heavy suggestion that as three best friends, we were like, yes, of course. Of course you can come record. Joel, what have you, okay, you've had to have learned something since our Star is Born episode. Please listen back to Why Did You Do That To Me, our extensive deep dive into Star is Born.

You've learned things. I've learned a few things. I have learned a few things. I also have a lot of notes because. Oh my God. I know. I listen to this. I listen to this podcast. learned a few things i have learned a few things i i also have a lot of notes because oh my god i know i listen to this i listen to this podcast i listen to this podcast week in week yes thank you our loyal fan but recently you sent us a text the betty gilpin episode you said what did you say

the betty gilpin episode is exemplary or what'd you say i first class world class world class so that was a high compliment you You're about to notice down? No, I'm going to say, I'm going to talk a little bit about what you were talking about in the intro, though, about you removing the humor. I will say that I actually was trying to formulate this in an interesting way,

like online recently, because I was listening to you guys and I was listening to Nympho Wars. An amazing podcast, Nympho Wars amazing podcast Nympho Wars it's so so good it's such a funny podcast but both

Theta and you I think have really found a way to make being the straight man funny oh my god in a really interesting way

and I noticed it about because like Matt is a clown I am I'm a big clown you are a clown you are a painted true clown

painted you are a commedia that's fine this face is made for paint Because Matt is a clown. I am. I'm a big clown. You are painted. You are Comedia Del Arte. That's fine. This face is made for paint. I'm Comedia Del Arte, bitch. Catch me in Florence, ho. And I think part of it is just... With a mask on. With a big mask. Exactly.

With a long nose. My face has a long nose and people laugh at it when I perform. Okay, go. So Matt's Comedia. But I think it's just sometimes you ask the right question. Oh. And it makes me laugh sometimes when you interrogate his nonsense. Yes.

And I think it's very much the same on that other part. But listen to this. To be compared to Theta Hamill is, you know. A true genius. I don't think Theta would. It's probably an insult to Theta. But to me, that's the highest compliment. And for you, for me,

for you to be down here talking, now I'm here. Now I'm here, Matt. Okay. I know you're here. If New York is the fifth lady of Sex and the City, I am the fifth lady of Lost Culture Recess. And I have been sitting silent

for months and months and months to hear you say things like you LA gays those LA gays he's really pathetic

you two have fully assimilated when you know I am driving around in my car driving around that's right I said it I drive LA

very LA to hear you say those LA gays and also to hear you to hear you bring up the star actress game and not give me credit. It's Joel Kim Booster's game. Joel Kim Booster invented it. I created the game

while we were watching Captain Marvel. He also acts like you act like you're better than the game. You act like you wouldn't play. It is a touchstone. I don't ever initiate. You guys always initiate. We go back to the game, you act like you wouldn't play. It is a touchstone. I don't ever initiate. You guys always initiate.

We go back to the game all the time. I never initiate. I'm telling you, Bowen Yang is a public victim. How am I a victim for not playing this game? Because you get on this podcast. I can't do a sentence. And these LA games are always playing games. Put me on the spot. Your favorite thing to say is I'm being put on the spot.

Public victim. You're being put on the spot. Public victim. You are being put on the spot now, bitch. I don't. I reject all of this. Gone. To say, I just need,

I just need less aggression from you while I'm driving around in my car trying to spend time with my friends. Aggression directed, that is like tacitly. Oh, that's directed at LA. Fine.

Los Angeles. You know what? It's because he, I'm insecure. It's not that you're insecure. You know what? It's because he... I'm insecure. It's not that you're insecure. It's that you want to be... You desperately, I feel, would like to have more

of a familiarity with the West Coast. And you... This is what I used to do. I used to always say, fuck that, fuck that, fuck that, fuck that, fuck that,

and everything going on over there because I'm not a part of it. I do not. We do it every episode on the show. I do not. Now I love both equally, both my children, New York City

and Los Angeles, California. Okay, but what's your assessment of me? You're about to drag me. No, I wasn't about to drag you. I was saying that

if you played the game more, you would know it's not me and we actually celebrate all the actresses in the game. We say star, not an actress, and that works for her. Not being a star is not an intrinsically negative thing. Some people can't be stars. Some people can't be stars.

You're right. I mean, I think... And many times, they're still good actresses. That's fine. Yes. I mean, the hard part of this game is for people who are neither right or yeah that would be humiliating we don't touch a lot but i i think the thing is though is that most of the people that we'd be talking about have to be one or the other to be one or the other in front of

our eyes and to be one to be either or both is the highest compliment yeah and you know what has to happen now we have to play i was gonna say we have to so um just everyone knows we've gotten i've gotten a lot of text tweets dms like saying like this has started the apocalypse like this i'm playing this game with my friends now and truly it's like friendships are being broken yeah yeah it's gonna start topics and we we have to credit this correctly joel can booster invented this game i invented this reductive la game terrible yeah created this terrible LA game. These LA gays. So here's what's going to happen. HSPT. Yes. Hot Senior Producer Tracy is going to say names

of famous, iconic, quote unquote, actresses. But we can't say, we can't remove the quotes yet because we don't know. We haven't yet played. They're not actors. And now this is going to be

the definitive decisions about them because there are three of us and famously, there's going to be a majority of two. And maybe even a full sweep. But we have to say star or actress. This is the game. Star or actress?

HSPT? Shout out a name. Cate Blanchett. Star and actor. Star and actor. I would say absolutely has the gravitas on screen and you can't say she doesn't have the chops. That woman can shake with anxiety like no one else. Where'd you go, Bernadette?

Where'd you go, Bernadette? Richard Linklater directing book adaptation. You know, I just said that she performs anxiety better than anyone else, but you know who I think might perform anxiety just as well? Julianne? No. No, I was going to say Claire Danes. Oh. Claire

can perform mania, I think. Yeah, and I would say, I'm going to go out on a limb and just as a gimme, actor, not star. Wow. I'm actually going to hot agree. I'm going to hot take agree. Actor, not star. Actor, not star. Where is she?

I'm not like whipping around on the street because I passed Claire Danes. You know what I mean? But I am watching Homeland. Are you though? Are you? I'm sorry. I did watch Homeland.

He's eating an apple. I did watch Homeland for the first like three seasons and then it got too much for me. Right. But. Okay. Thank you. Go on.

Viola Davis. Viola Davis. That's an actress and a star. Another me. Right. But, okay. Thank you. Go on. Viola Davis. Viola Davis. That's an actress and a star. Another star and an actor. Yeah, she's both. She's both, because she has the real power on screen, and when anyone is willing to get on stage

and cry snot from her nose, you're acting. And I think, like, she elevates everything she does. Big shit. She can do the big high brow, low brow.

She was in Suicide Squad. Yeah. Oh my God. And was badass in it. Ate a steak. Yeah. I love that steak. When you want to watch someone eat a steak,

that's a sign. You want it to be someone who has done August Wilson. Exactly. They have to understand what the steak actually means. You know what I mean? As a metonym. The pain that has gone into, that has paved the way to the steak actually means. You know what I mean? As a metonym. The pain that has gone into, that has paved the way to the steak.

Yeah. Absolutely. Okay. Who else? Alexis Padel. Wow. This is a fascinating one. I haven't seen Handmaid's,

I'm going to say star, not actor. I have to reveal, she's so good on The Handmaid's Tale that you can't walk away. I mean, she won the Emmy.id's Tale that you can't walk away she certainly did you can't walk away from that show

say she doesn't have acting talent I yeah okay I think she hasn't but here's the thing I have no doubt

that she's a fantastic actor actress I think she has not broken out in a big way in a way that

the gaze or you know the collective audience wants her to to for her to be like considered a capital s star i don't think we've seen enough that's what i'm saying i'm i guess i the reason i possibly i'm presenting her as a star is because like she's so mad like i'm watching her and i can't stop watching her but i don't think it's because she's great oh right so you're saying not actress? You're saying both. I'm saying star not actor. Got it. Because I'm like what is going on here? I'm inverse.

I want to know more. Wow. But not because she's doing the work. You know? Just because you want to see her for whatever reason. What happens to her in The Handmaid's Tale? Something terrible happens to her right? A lot of terrible things happen to her but she's still there. Yes. But I will say for me. And it's the same in Gilmore Girls. I think it's the same amount of things happen to her but um she she's still there yes um but i will say for me and it's

the same in gilmore girls i think the same amount of things happen to her and gilmore girls she's still she you can't say she's not still there at the end both of them are both of them are still the fact of the matter is like i've never been like a gilmore girls like person you love gilmore girls seen it i've seen the whole series at least six or seven times through and the middle like seasons two through six probably like 11 times yeah it used to be the box set of Gilmore Girls used to be the most expensive

thing I yes like there are hundreds of dollars yeah yeah yeah and Lauren Graham you think star an actress Lauren Graham may be an actor not a star as much as it pains me and she is like she is important to me. She's so important to you. I think she's so good.

And there was a time when I used to seek out every weird movie that she was in and watch it. And watch every Ellen episode. She's a frequent guest on Ellen and so charming on there. And she won celebrity poker. Right. You gotta respect that. frequent guest on Ellen and so charming on there. And she won celebrity poker. Right. Oh, you gotta respect that. She beat the older brother from Malcolm in the Middle. Oh.

And he was taking it so seriously. Like, it was her and, like, Sarah Rue. Sarah Rue! We're the only women. We're the only women. And, like, Sarah Rue got out pretty early. And it was Chandler. What's his face?

Matthew Perry. Matthew Perry. And then a couple other guys. And like it came down to Sarah, Laura Graham and this guy from Malcolm in the Middle. The guy who got charged with fucking sleeping with underage girls. Oh, maybe. Like just like curly hair and glasses. It's his brother.

His brother. Right. Masterson. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And his he's got like his cap down in the sunglasses and he looks ridiculous.

And she won. And I just, that's pretty fucking cool though. I love it. And I love her because she's like, she went to theater school. She like acted for a little while, went back,

got her MFA and then like did sitcoms. And then, you know, just it's such a norm. She's so norm. She was in Guys and Dolls. Yeah.

Oh. She does musical theater too. Yeah. She, then this is such a dumb,. Oh. She does musical theater too. Yeah. She, then this is such a dumb, I had to Google most likable celebrities for just to pitch out

on celebrities and then she is like, she shows up in every list. I'm like, that's so interesting. Well, people that love Gilmore Girls are like fanatical

about Gilmore Girls. But she's like, but she's, I guess just that she's like a charming person and yes, and like on screen you're so drawn to her.

I love it. And I love that. And we love that for her. We love that for her. But not a star. Not a star. One more. Let's do another one.

Okay. I want to know for me. Okay. Elizabeth Moss. Elizabeth Moss. I would say star and actress. And the reason I would, no,

because you're not, here's the thing. You don't's like beyonce once said oh okay you know you're that bitch when you cause all this conversation what conversation though but it's science yeah the conversation is but what are you saying joel kirstie alley's not a star shut up get out of here she's not this will be your fourth time on the show you learn nothing i'm saying elizabeth moss can't like i i did not conjure who that even was immediately that makes you an outlier of our time no no no no here's the thing like i i'm happy we're having a disagreement elizabeth moss i don't think is yet in a place to like lead

a rom-com or like a superhero movie or like a you know or like But that doesn't make you a star or not. I know I know but I'm

this is my little I mean it's my very basic litmus test and she's definitely an actress cannot she's not she's not

the paper's not turned the you know paper's not turned blue or whatever. She is the kind of person who can get sign on to a television project and it gets made instantly and people will always take a note.

For me, that's a star. So what are you saying? Jennifer Aniston's not a star? I think she's a star and an actor. She's a star. Oh, the Yooka-Loo-Loo. I just don't, she's not like, the name on everyone's lips is not Elizabeth Moss.

Yeah, but that doesn't mean she's not a star. And also we have to define, I'm realizing now we might have to define stard And also, we have to define, I'm realizing now we might have to define stardom. We might have to define stardom. is that it's different for everybody. And that's why the game is fun.

But my litmus test, and the reason we, and the reason I even like came to this game was because we saw, We saw Captain Marvel. We saw Captain Marvel, which is Brie Larson.

Famously. Who is, I think, sort of the epitome for me of an actor not a star the iconic actor not a star

the problem is because those Marvel movies which I love you realize the people who anchor those movies the good ones

are all stars and you need the stars you need that charisma to fill in the blanks because they're all sort of like samey samey a little bit

like they're all a little formulaic once you, you know, now that we're 25, 27 deep. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like Robert Downey Jr.,

star. Chris Evans, star. You know, like Chris Hemsworth, star. Scarjo, star. Scarjo, absolute star. They're all stars and then you watch Brie Larson

and you're just sort of like she's doing it and she had a harder time because like her whole character is a cypher. That's sort of the point. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She doesn't know her past or anything like that but like you there was just not that extra thing sort of the sheen on top of the performance right made you engage with that character and it was a good movie i don't want to like discount it was a good movie but i think

like it just like the difference you can kind of tell. Sure, sure. To me, I really like Brie Larson, but to me it's just like, there's not a lot of, for Captain Marvel, I feel like I need a little bit more strength. Yeah. Well, no, here's the thing. You compare this,

and I don't want to be reductive and just be like, but it is like these two major female-led superhero movies. Wonder Woman? Captain Marvel is a better structured movie in many respects, probably. But Wonder Woman is a movie I would rather watch that again. More iconic. Because Gal Gadot.

Star. Star. Not an actor at all, but she pulls it off. And she, yeah. Because I think there's just something about her presence on screen that especially for something like a superhero movie. Like if I'm going to watch Room, you want Brie, you don't want Gal.

Of course not. But if I'm watching like a stupid action movie that needs like sort of to feel like a compelling presence on screen to take it to a place of interest, you need Gal. Truly the corollary to this is one of those actresses is an Oscar winner. Yeah. And you would rather see the non-Oscar winner sort of lead this huge movie. I feel like I would prefer both, but yeah.

But I get what you're saying about when it comes down to it. You prefer a star. I would prefer both. You see, oh yeah yeah but of course you always prefer wonder woman oh we can we will take the star but i'm saying it's this is the thing this is the interesting question for me and you the answer cannot be both which is more important i mean like like which would you which is more important i think i think you see amazing acting all the time. And I think as gay men, we want actors more than stars. We do. I want a star.

Wow. Primarily. So wait. Okay. Again, I think this depends on what you're watching. Like if you're watching the movie Obsessed with Beyonce and Ali Larder, for me, no one could do those roles better because they're both stars. I think Ali Larder can be swapped out, I think.

No. As much as I love Ali Larder. be swapped out i think as much as i love ali larder ali is only ali could commit to that script like fucking if it was like yeah you're right like just that 2009 2008 whenever it came out like the actress like the like actress of that time who like met that very specific sliver of criteria criteria like that was ali honestly this scene where she's like you said we would be together she's like you said it derrick you said it and he like never said it but in her eyes you know that she believes yes oh my god believes that. Oh my God. Ali Larder is an actress. Where is Ali? Where is Ali?

I don't know. The children have forgotten. The children have forgotten Ali Larder who was iconic famously in not only the Final Destination movies but also the series Heroes. Heroes.

Yeah. But fucking Ali, my last thing about Ali Larder is, is, is, wait, Ali Larder was also in

Legally Blonde. Yeah. Yes. Oh my God. Wait, Dave and I were just talking about this on Viral. We were saying like that scene where she's like,

I went from a six to a four. That's great. On the day of Hayworth's murder. Yeah. I'm just kidding. What? What? What?

Life is a section! Oh! what what what Reese Witherspoon star and actress Reese forever well and we had this interesting there can be you're not these are not static like Laura Dern 10 years ago we would have said

actor not star. But now. Literally, she was like, I remember talking about this. And then last night, I stumbled on this video of her talking about all her roles. She was like, her and her fucking mom, Mary, what's her face? Yeah, yeah, anyway. Bruce Dern's wife, I'm not sure. But they were both of them, historic, both of them nominated for an Oscar the same year. For that movie that they were rambling rose rambling rose like way like like a few years before jurassic park it's

like she was she was always an actress yeah but that's what you're saying she wasn't a star i think we no no we made her a star recent yes our community did the work we got in there and we said we got some work to do yes she stepped into her stardom obviously with big little lies and i think some would say enlightened and also and also but here's the thing about laura dern in a movie in a movie like jurassic park you actually need primarily an actress because i because with jurassic park at the time in, you had that iconic scene where she sees the brontosaurus for the real life for the first time. And the wonder in her eyes, like the – you really believe that it's real. Her, Sam Neill, Jeff Goldblum, they all sell it in a way that the CGI of these new fucking movies

yeah could never sell it she was saying in this video she was like those raptors were real like they were there yeah because they made

audio animatronics right and she was like and like those puppeteers are genius and she was like so as an actor that's great

like I was I wasn't looking at nothing I was like she goes run run she goes I was scared I was terrified

when we were shooting I mean that's the thing it's like you almost appreciate and like the fact that you're not watching a full blown star

because it would almost be distracting whereas like she's then a cipher for us and we get to sit there and almost be her

and Sam Neill who also like great actor the only star in that movie is really Goldblum the thing is I think here's another criteria I think we just stumbled on is that with stars who are not

actors you are sort of always aware you're like oh my god I'm watching so and so yes Angelina Jolie it's always Angelina Jolie I'm watching Angelina Jolie in a movie and then an actor you can sort of like you do sort of forget about them you know and then a star and an actor can sort of do both because like Julia

Roberts sometimes you're like sometimes you're watching Julia Roberts and you're like oh my god I'm watching Julia Roberts but then she's sometimes but then when she's Erin Brockovich it's like yeah I'm kind of not getting as much Julia Roberts in this which is great for me Erin Brockovich is the perfect example of a star vehicle that allows them to

show their acting talent. Yes, yes. Because it's like, I mean, this is a great fucking movie. I could watch it any day of my life. Aaron, me too. And it's just such a perfect match for her gifts. It's so good. I think My Best Friend's Wedding

is one of the best rom-coms of all time. I would absolutely agree. I love a movie where it's like 45 minutes too long you don't understand the structure but it is so good and she is so good in it and it is unlike anything else she's iconic in that movie and also the character is

this is how you know she's a full star because the character is like what is going on girl get over yourself she's the villain I think heir apparent to Julia I think someone who is sort of Julia Roberts adjacent for me right now is Emma Stone. Oh, I would agree.

Absolutely. Because you, and Emma Stone in The Favorite too, you're like always aware that it's Emma Stone, but like what a great performance. Yes. And I'm actually a La La Land apologist and thought that she deserved the Oscar for it. I've not revisited, but we saw it together.

We saw it together. But we loved it when we saw it. We loved it when we saw it. We had no critical thoughts about it. But then the narrative was like, La La Land is Trump. Which is so stupid.

It was whatever. I don't know. That thing about everyone hating La La Land, it's like, you guys get mad about real things. I just want to do,

just Aaron Brockovich, can I do it? No. So what am I supposed to do, just Aaron Brockovich, can I do it? Go. So what am I supposed to do? Check in every two seconds? Yes, it's called accountability. I'm not talking to you, bitch! That's so good.

That's all you got, lady. Two wrong feet and fucking ugly shoes. Just such a good script. So well directed. Like, the tone. All the supporting characters feel real. Yes, yes. Albert Finney, too.

She is absolutely, oh, Albert Finney. R.I.P. So fucking good. Yeah. And she's like, that's like exactly what I want to see out of a movie like that. Or a movie in general. It's just someone turning it. Yes, yes.

The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City are back. I love that. I love that. Oh my gosh. Welcome. And last season's drama love that. Oh, my gosh. Welcome. And last season's drama was just the tip of the iceberg. You're recording us? I am disgusted.

Never in a million years after everything we've been through did I think that you would reach out to our sworn enemy. We were friends. How could you do this to me? I don't trust her. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Wednesdays at 9 on Bravo. or stream it on City TV+. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski.

Guess what, folks? We're teammates again. And we're going to welcome you guys all to Dudes on Dudes. I'm a dude. You're a dude. And Dudes on Dudes is our brand new show. We're going to highlight players highlight players peers guys that we played against legends from the past and we're just gonna sit here and talk about them and we'll

get into the types of dudes what kind of types of dudes are there grunts we got studs wizards we got freaks or dudes dude we got dogs dog we'll break down their games we'll share some insider stories and determine what kind of dude each of these dudes are. Is Randy Moss a stud or a freak? Is Tom Brady a dog or a dude's dude? We're going to find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hey, I'm Jay Shetty, and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. about guilt, shame, body image, and huge life transformations. I was a desperate delusional dreamer and the desperate part got me in a lot of trouble. I encourage delusional dreamers. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer. I just had such an anger. I was just so mad at life. Everything that wasn't right was everybody's fault but mine. I had such a victim mentality. I took zero accountability for anything in my life. I was the kid that if you asked what happened, I immediately started with everything but me. It took years for me to break that, like years of work.

Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, a five-year-old boy floated alone in the ocean. He had lost his mother trying to reach Florida from Cuba. He looked like a little angel. I mean, he looked so fresh. And his name, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere. Elian Gonzalez.

Elian Gonzalez. Elian. Elian. Elian Gonzalez. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian Gonzalez. At the heart of the story is a young boy and the question of who he belongs with. His father in Cuba. Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or his relatives in Miami.

Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. At the heart of it all is still this painful family separation. Something that as a Cuban, I know all too well. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, as part of the My Cultura podcast network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. But the Laura Dern thing, sorry to go back to this. Yeah, go back.

She was like in David, she was like multiple David Lynch films before, like in the 80s and 90s, like fucking blue, not 80s, but like Blue Velvet, it's like. Yeah.

I always trust an actress that a director works with again and again and again and again. I'm like, well, obviously there's something that works here. Like for me, you know who I, you know who I,

you know who I think the most iconic conversation around when it comes to this game, and I think she's the most polarizing when it comes to this game? I know who you're gonna tell. Amy Adams. Amy Adams. Yes, I brought her up. I was gonna say, for me,

the most polarizing, I think, especially in this group, is Jennifer Lawrence. Oh, let's do it. Jennifer Lawrence. Because I think,, not an actor. I don't get it. I do not.

Silver Linings Playbook did not get why she won that Oscar, to be honest. In retrospect, do not get it. I think star and actress. Yeah. I really do. I think that here's the thing about Jennifer Lawrence, and this is where we get down to what exactly is,

makes us say actress. Because I think that she has given several iconic performances. American Hustle is the she's the only fun thing about that movie. Her and Amy. Silver Linings. It's a weird performance. And she's like not cast super well. But the thing is, like, you will remember it like you remember some of the

scenes she's really really good their chemistry is good and when you watch it a second time it actually really works even Hunger Games and then you can't forget about Winner's Bone people forget about Winner's Bone here's my problem though I think and this is my resistance to Jennifer Lawrence and I think it's always

been my resistance because remember every gay man was born into this world a casting director and the rest is drag the rest is drag and I it's actually really

culture number four every gay man was born into this world a casting director and the rest is drag I she those

that slew of movies from silver linings through Joy not right it's not right and I don't I have such a joy, not right. It's not right. And I don't, I have such a reason. What do you mean it's not right?

She's playing characters that are way too old. And it was too soon. And the transition was so quick from hunger games where she is a young girl to a young woman to fucking joy where she's supposed to be in her like forties the whole time. And it's so like, I can't, it was so hard to watch those three movies where she's playing these like middle aged women

Marisa Tomei roles and that's the other added frustration is they say there's no roles for women over 40 in Hollywood it's just J-Law has taken all yeah it's really true but the fact of the matter is I don't I don't hold her accountable for that.

I think that's like the Hollywood system wanting her in everything. And I think it's a testament to her talent that despite the fact that she is so miscast, these things work. I mean... I don't find her... I didn't think she transcended the miscasting, though.

That's my problem. Sure. Is that I didn't get old from her in any of those roles. But Matt just now talking about... You were making a case for her being an actress by saying, well, in Hunger Games, she's so convincing or compelling,

and her chemistry with Bradley is so great and so are her linings. But that feels like stardom to me, doing all the work. Well, here's what I'll say, and this is a conversation about the actress of it all. I think she's incredible in almost everything she does i really do but if she ever tried to do like a british accent no i think i'd be offended yes i think

i'd be really upset i think i'd have to go away yeah and like red sparrow oh my god that kind of flopped because i think i saw her doing like a russian accent and i was like see i don't want to ruin it for myself whereas Emma Stone in the favorite turns it you would never know she wasn't British there you go so you're just protecting your own perception of her then that's so bizarre no I'm not protecting my own perception of her I'm saying

that we have a conversation on our hands here about do you have to be able to execute period work or accents in order to be considered an actress no no no no, no. No one's saying that. Some people can't do it. Some people just simply don't have an ear for accents. And I'm so glad

I'm not one of them. Me neither. One of the first things I started doing when I acted was to have perfect accents. And this is what I'm talking about. You were doing a Hugh Jackman impression on the Jesse David Fox episode where it was the Les Mis feature. You were doing an impression of him

on the Les Mis feature. It was so bad. You're acting and singing. It's amazing. It's amazing. But I can do a good vocal impression of him. Go. Do it.

From now on. That's good. Ethel Merman through the lens of Hugh Jackman. Yes. From now on. That's bad. Perfect. I love that movie.

Not be blinded by the light. The Greatest Showman is the movie I will watch. I will go. If we are in the middle of landing on the plane every single day, every single time I'm on a plane and I'm like, I don't have time to watch a full movie. We're going gonna be landing soon I guess I will go

to The Greatest Showman and watch all the musical numbers skim through Hugh Jackman star actor star both I think both

probably both for sure more he can do it all he can do it all but more star than actor I would say yeah

he was Wolverine wow yeah for years and Logan was super gritty grounded yeah i guess we haven't really seen him in anything that would test like logan is probably the biggest acting challenge yes he's had i guess les mis maybe counts but that's still oh he was fantastic in les mis he was he is a very good jean maljean alongside star and actress anne Hathaway. Absolutely. You watched Devil Wears Prada again

and you know... You need Andy to be Anne. They're doing a musical version of it. Shayna Taub and Elton John. What I was thinking when I was watching the movie is I was a little worried about the musical because Mean Girls the musical.

The reason Mean Girls works is Lindsay Lohan is such a star like she's such a star that you follow her and she's a cypher the whole time and she's narrating it and you're just like willing to hang out with her the whole time and then I think no shade but the Broadway musical like

it's hard to especially watch a musical and have this person you're following like and now I'm going to the cafeteria. It's just like, okay. And like, you're watching it and it's just like,

I love that song. And actress doing it. And you're like, oh, where's Lindsay? Whereas like with Devil Wears Prada, I think we're dealing with the same thing with the musical. You have to really find the right person to play that lead part.

Yeah. Because Andy is not an easy part. You forget watching Devil Wears Prada, how fucking good and Hathaway is. Anne's perfect. And she makes that movie work. And of course, Meryl Streep gets all the credit because she's so amazing and iconic.

And I would even go as far as to say one of her best roles. And then us fags are always like, Emily Blunt, Emily Blunt, Emily Blunt. But Anne gets lost in that movie in the conversation. Star and actor. Emily Blunt, I actually lost in that movie in the conversation. Star and actor Emily Blunt I think I actually think to be an action in any sort of action movie

you've got to be a little bit of a star and I think Emily Blunt is maybe one of the like closest things we had for a minute to a female action star. Her and Scarlett Edge of Tomorrow? Edge of Tomorrow is so good she's so good. You can't forget Scarlett.

Scarlett is there. We had for many years Angelina. And then it kind of like her Angelina's like sort of you know her disciples I guess were like Scarlett and then Emily there for a minute with Edge of Tomorrow and also wasn't there something else? I guess like

Don't Speak or Don't Whisper. What is that movie that she did with John Krasinski? No, don't be quiet. Wasn't she in Looper? Looper, yes, Looper. Well, because there was rumors for a while that she was going to be... A Quiet Place, sorry. A Quiet Place, Don't Speak, Don't

Whisper. Actually, it's Rural Culture number 49. A Quiet Place is called Don't Speak, Don't Whisper. But there was rumors that she was going to be Captain Marvel and I think she would have been amazing. Well, she was supposed to be Black Widow. Really? Yes. Okay, this is iconic.

She was supposed to be Black Widow and then hurt herself or she either hurt herself or there was a scheduling thing that she couldn't do it and then they cast Scar Jo. Wow. That's so sad because she could pull off the red in a way that Scar Jo never could pull off that red I think Scar Jo looks good in the red

there's a reason they let her be blonde in these last installments literally the character is called Black Widow, iconic redhead and for the last three movies they're like yeah you can be blonde I think she first appeared in iron man 2 i believe yes and her part is literally wordless yeah like she was there just to like look hot and she has one scene where yeah she has one scene

where she like fucks people up and i remember thinking in the audience like holy shit like this person is something else and but they gave her truly no dialogue. And so to watch the progression of her having no dialogue in Iron Man 2 and all these years passing and them all getting their own projects and own movies and even all this shit, and for them to only announce just now that she's getting Black Widow. It's wild. It's crazy.

She's by far the most compelling parts of those movies for me. Sure. I can't. You know what I can't wait for is the Elizabeth Olsen and Paul Bettany two-hander that they're coming out with in the second phase. I don't think so, honey. What? How are those two going to carry a movie?

I don't know. I don't know. But Natalie being like just toying. Natalie coming back to the franchise. Just skimming being an action star, I think would be very, if she like fully leaned into that. Annihilation.

Oh, sure. Totally. Also famously Star Wars. She did not handle a blaster. You know what I mean? You can tell, you can always tell with Natalie though. It's right behind the eyes.

She's like, I don't want to be doing this. Well, I think, I literally think i actually it's interesting you say that because i think with natalie portman you literally can tell when she thinks the material is dumb yeah you can when natalie portman is trying it's a different thing than when she is not that's so true she needs a good director and someone she trusts and scene partner she likes because when you are watching her and she doesn't want to be there, I don't want to be there.

Right. No. Oh, fuck. Like in Star Wars, she's barely awake. No. No, so he's attached. She's like, you can tell she thinks Anderson Cooper. You can tell she thinks Ashton Kutcher

is the dumbest man alive. Even in the Thor movies. Yeah. She's phoning it in. Yeah, fully. I wonder how much she'll give female Thor. I think she will. Hopefully she'll have fun.

At Comic-Con, she was a little bit like, I don't think she'd come back. I don't think she'd come back because if she didn't really want to. I really don't. But man, that is the thing about the whole series of movies is they just pull in these A-list women and waste, like Rachel McAdams in Doctor Strange.

Do you remember? No, of course not. Of course not. No, that sucks. Were you there when we were talking about Rachel McAdams a lot? I mean, I feel like we always talk about Rachel McAdams needing to rescue her from her current agents and get her better agents

because she should be everywhere. We were talking about how there was a moment in time where she absolutely was going to be... Dominated. Yeah, there was a solid couple years there where we were positive that the next stars of romantic comedies

were going to be Rachel McAdams and Katherine Heigl. Yeah. And I Rachel McAdams and Katherine Heigl. Yeah. And I think two different things. Katherine Heigl turned out to be difficult, whatever, like that narrative solidified, and then it was just too much. And Rachel McAdams, I just think bad luck,

bad decisions, like always kind of being like fourth or fifth on everyone's list. You know what I mean? Just someone who got lost who is so good because you think about Mean Girls, The Note stone wedding crashers red eye the can you imagine actually that's not a bad five it's a can you imagine being an early on those those five yeah my god and also such versatility there. The versatility that that has. God, just her.

Yeah. I mean, yeah. But part of me is like, I'm watching her in interviews now where it's like recently she was doing press for something and I was like, she just seems like chilled out and she's probably like not too thirsty.

Yeah, maybe that's it. I think that may be part of it. She's like, I don't want to do that much, which I respect and admire. I get that. Right? That's me. That's me.

That's me. Actually that's why you don't see me everywhere. Yes. Because I said you don't want to do too much. I don't want to do too much. And for a moment there

Joel was going to be you know the next Joel I can't wait for truly I can't wait for Joel to lead a romcom though. I can't wait. I don't know if it'll ever happen.

I think if you know what and we love Billy we love Billy but if Billy can lead like a Judd Apatow romcom I feel like that's going to like open a door

maybe for some people and Joel's gonna fuck Paul Bettany Paul Bettany oh my god I would love I actually met him right

I think he's he's hot he's so hot he's got hot energy and that's what you need and you don't need you don't need to be hot you just need to have

hot energy and and I'm very susceptible to that like I that's why like I don't like apps have hot. You just need to have hot energy. And I'm very susceptible to that. Right. That's why I don't, like apps have never been the best place for me to find my favorite kind of sexual partners because I'm so much like,

I need the energy in the room. Absolutely. You can't self-tape with me. No. You gotta come into the room. You gotta come in and we have to talk. Buzz in, take the elevator up, sign in. And I might need to see you do it again.

Because there are so many people that I've fucked where I'd be like, if I saw pictures of you, I would be like, probably not. No, honestly, sometimes I've had some of the hottest hookups of my life with people who I was not necessarily super on the basis of the way they look, super attracted to them. And then whether it was a certain...

I don't know. Sexuality is a chemical vibe. You need to be in the room. Sometimes I'll be smelling someone. It's pheromones. Pheromones! There was a guy on Fire Island where I was testing the waters,

seeing my options, and he was not the hottest one, but for some reason, it was a chemical thing. I was like like this is the one yeah how to have them i had to have you know what i think the reverse is true for me too by the way i don't think i test i think on just pictures alone no no oh but once once you get me in the room once you get in the room with joel he's but he has a book i book book. I book. I book. I book. I book. I book. I book. I book.

I book. I book. I book well above my weight class. I think. I do. That is insane that you say that. I do. I do.

I think that guys would never look at me online or swipe. That's. I have. I have. And it's. I need to be in the room with them. And I need to. That's.

I think. I need to pee a little bit down my leg. And then. Get me out of the room. Get me in the room with them. That's... I need to pee a little bit down my leg and then... Get me in the room. Get me in the room. That is becoming less and less true as time goes on. You know what?

That is maybe possible, but the thing is, I still walk into... I walked into plenty of parties on Fire Island where everyone looked and just was like, you don't belong here. And I think that will always be the case no matter what I look like. And I have just sort of let it go. I've let it go.

I let it go this trip. Joel and I went to Pine's party with Joel Berklander and Justin Dean. And truly so fun. And I think it was fun because we stuck together because I after the first like 45 minutes of walking to that party was like you know what

I'm not getting any vibes from anybody and also I don't think that's what the night is about and I'm going to let that go and just like

not gonna like that's not what this is and I'm just here with my friends and that's gonna be it and it was truly like a joyous joyous time and we watched

the damn sunrise together we watched the damn sunrise on the fucking beach honestly hot it was truly like a joyous joyous time and we watched the damn sunrise together we watched the damn sunrise on the fucking beach honestly hot it was so cool it was it was

and we did the we did the very you know Molly thing of just whatever we just like pulled each other close Joel and I

and just constantly would just like say like the most earnest shit in the world it was very beautiful it was beautiful it was almost and that's like that is that is the most molly thing the second most molly thing is me trying to shove my molly flaccid dick into butts like just like

folding it up and like trying to make it happen folding it up like a pizza like a little pizza roll and just like trying to get it in like just trying to make it happen and then just never you squeeze from the base and then that gives you more girth oh my god dr yang over here squeeze from the base squeeze from the base that's title of app um oh my god wait of course the third most molly thing is right after you take it and it hits you shit your pants well that's if you get it cut with a little bit less meth oh my god it's the meth that makes you shit

is there meth in it oh I don't know that there exists Molly that we're taking right now that doesn't have a little bit of meth okay you can get a test kit though everyone should be tested what do you know that we don't about this meth I'm sorry this is the first time I'm learning about this meth in the Molly it's all cut with like different it's not we're not getting the first time I'm learning about this meth in the Mali it's all cut with

like different it's not we're not getting the MDMA I don't think it exists maybe in Spain in Spain where they grow it

where it grows on trees yeah I have a Mali tree in my backyard in Barcelona Barcelona sorry sorry

thank you Noah Galvin for that pronunciation in Booksmart. I'm seeing him in Waitress. Oh my God. He's in Waitress? Yeah, I didn't know this either, but Jared was telling me we're going on Tuesday to see Waitress.

Cute. Who's Jared? Don't. Bleep that name out. Bleep that name out. No, no, no. No, you don't have to bleep it, but you will cut this interrogation.

We're going to see Waitress. Who is he playing in Waitress? I don't know. I guess one of the guys who sings a couple songs. That famous role. I think he's playing I think he's filling in for Kimiko's part. Kimiko Glenn's part. Who has not been in the show since the first

three weeks of the run. Kimiko, what's she doing? I feel like I'm not seeing Waitress at the right time though because... Is it Shoshanna being right now? Yeah time though because well it's Shoshanna is it Shoshanna being right now yeah oh yeah you're gonna see Shoshanna

what do you mean not the right time psycho performance because I didn't know wait are we positive that it's Shoshanna right now

I think it is I believe it is I'm gonna look it up because that's not the intel that I was by the way speaking of Mean Girls or Rachel McAdams

I just have to shout out Taylor Louderman who played Regina who's playing Regina until September 6th by the time this episode comes out it'll be Renee Rapp speaking of Mean Girls or Rachel McAdams, I just have to shout out Taylor Louderman who played Regina, who's playing Regina until September 6th. By the time this episode comes out, it'll be Renee Rapp

of Jimmy's fame. Winner of the Jimmy's 2018. Taylor Louderman saw her recently do this thing for work and I was just like, fell head over heels in love. Haven't seen Mean Girls yet.

She's amazing in Mean Girls. She's incredible. I'm sure. She, and the thing is, and I'm not sure if it's a product of the writing or just how it turned out,

but she is this, like, it makes the whole show sort of about her. About Regina, yeah. She's so good. And they tweak her arc, Regina's arc,

in the show a little bit more. And it really does sort of, everything sort of revolves around her That's pretty cool. That's an interesting thing. But I just want to say, Taylor Louderman, I'm in love.

If you remember me, please, I will be my friend. I will be seeing Alison Luff in the role of Jenna. Gorgeous. Taking over for Shoshana Bean.

Oh. She is also a former Elphaba. Oh. So we love that. Come on. I mean, look. She used to be mine. Used to former Elphaba. Oh. Well, we love that. Come on. I mean, look. She used to be mine. Used to be Elphaba.

But I famously like to see a good old fashioned character actress on stage. I'm a character actress. Cole and I were, Cole Skoll and I were talking at the house we were going on this run about how like we're pretending to be this like 50 year old man from like

Michigan that's like I don't want to see some star in the role that's not why I come to New York. I come to New York to see a good old fashioned character

actress. Owen Wilson. I want to see a union woman on that stage acting her heart out. That's why you come to New York. Oh, my God.

That's beautiful. That was such a funny bit. Cola Scola on Fire Island is the most beautiful thing. Joyful. Joyful. I mean, just, wow. I love coal. How are we feeling?

Should we check in really quickly about our trips? How did it go? Okay. Oh, we don't have to. No. I mean, like, it was good. It was Fire Island. Every year it gets chiller and chiller.

And I'm just like, I'm just here. It was not a chill experience for me this year. But it was good. Oh, because you fucking lost your phone broke and shit. Yeah. I felt truly cuckoo because, well, I also flew back to L.A. on Friday. And then flew back to Fire Island you chartered your own boat

I hired a boat to get me off that island in time and you benefited I did so can you tell the story of why you needed to leave because I had a table read for NBC Sunnyside and they could not they weirdly would not move it

to accommodate my vacation. And so you, the fourth lead. And I, and I was like, well, I guess I'm not going to. And, and, and a reasonable person would have looked at their schedule and said, just go on Saturday. Just go on Saturday. Because what I did is I flew into New York on Wednesday. I went to Fire Island on Thursday. I flew back to LA

on Friday and then landed in LA at 1pm turned around at 8.30pm and flew back to New York and then went straight from, it was a red eye flight got off the plane, jumped back on the train, headed out to the ferry and I was back on Fire Island by 10am. That's

cool, cool. It was but you know what? It was honestly worth it that Thursday night was very fun for a.m. That's cool, cool. It was, but you know what? It was honestly worth it. That Thursday night was very fun for me. Yeah. What happened Thursday? I don't know. I was just fucked up the entire time.

And then made it to the table read. It was so, I'm very excited for that. And then Saturday was great. And then not two hours after I arrived back to Fire Island on Saturday, my phone drowned in a pool yes and I was without a phone

from Saturday till yesterday Thursday and I have to say it made me feel it truly made me feel ten times crazier it didn't seem like the lack of a phone

was bothering you no it wasn't it wasn't it wasn't actively the only time I noticed that I did not have a phone is when I was waiting in line for the bathroom because I was like what am I have a phone is when I was waiting in line for the bathroom.

Because I was like, what am I supposed to do here? I couldn't be without my phone. Not even photo moments? Not even like, I want to take a picture of this. Well, see, that's the other thing is that I am sad that I didn't get to make everyone jealous about my vacation. There are so many terrible Instagram stories that were missed out on. So many photos that didn't get taken. But yeah, just because I was like, usually I'm able

to sort of take a dip back into real life while I'm on vacation and it forced me to really not be able to. And I mean, the big thing I realized is that I have nothing interesting to say. I saw you tweet that. That's not true. I was finally back

with my phone yesterday and I was like, now I can finally tweet all of those great thoughts that I had on mmm. Didn't have a single interesting thought on the island. Not one. And I guess that's good. You're not supposed to have an interesting thought on vacation. I recently, I wouldn't

have been able to survive. I recently looked at my phone and I put that thing on that tells you how much hours you spend on your phone. I'm embarrassed to say that I spend, the fucking message told me that I spend, I average over eight hours on my phone a day. Yeah, that's me too. I think that's pretty normal for people like us.

I do. It's normal. It's so crazy. I probably am on my phone longer than I'm sleeping in a 24-hour period. Sure, that's fucked up. Yeah. But also it's not like you're on one continuous eight hour streak with, you know, I just get nervous that like I'm around people and they're like,

Oh, Matt's the kind of person who's always on his phone. Well, I know for a fact that that's not an interesting observation anymore. Like people older than us love to be like, you know, I saw these people, a whole table of millennials all on their phone

and it's like yeah fuck you it's not exceptional not just now we're moving I do wonder though like I was just under stimulated on Fire Island because of the lack of the phone like I wasn't being like constantly serotonin doubt

yeah just like scrolling through stuff so I wonder like I wonder how that's affecting us yeah just like scrolling through stuff so i wonder like i wonder how that's affecting us to just like constantly be engaged and constantly be you know um stimulated by information and memes and jokes and yeah music all the time i mean yeah i think it's um damaging wow but i you know what i did uh and fire Island and my thing with Fire Island is I I actually don't love going

not because of any like social or sexual thing it's because I don't like to be sandy in my bed like there was a lot of sand there was a lot of sand

in your side of the bed Matt and I shared a bed we shared a bed sorry and we only fans there was a lot of sand our only fans is dropping soon

it's gonna be us sleeping next to each other. Back to back. Joel has the eye mask visor on and there's sand all over me. But I apparently tracked a lot of sand back to the bed because it was really sandy

and I just don't like when my feet are sandy. I just prefer something like Palm Springs where it's like pool culture. Here we go again. No, it's like pool culture. Here we go again. No, it's not even that. LA versus New York. These LA gays. Palm Springs fucking sucks.

I totally disagree with you. Palm Springs fucking sucks. The restaurants are terrible. You have to drive everywhere. I disagree. I just like, I mean, it's a matter of like civilization versus seclusion. I love a beach. I need a beach.

See, I grew up with beaches. I pass on the beach. I pass on the beach. But what I was going to say is one thing I did do that I never do is I went in the ocean. Because it's always too cold. I'm very sensitive to cold. And I had a gorgeous experience in the ocean. Yes.

I had an emotional experience. When we were tripping, Matt was Bonnie. Bonnie, he was. I was being Bonnie on the beach big little lies just like truly like we were all

like by our blankets and we just saw Matt down by the beach like kicking around I had a lot to think about he did it was so funny and we

and I was like what song is playing in your head and he's like I'm not listening to any music in my head and then later he came back it's the Archer

it's the Archer I literally I was thinking about the Archer in my head and then later he came back it's the Archer it's the Archer I literally I was thinking about the Archer in my head I've been the Archer I've been paid I think that song is great I think it's a great song

I think it is Out of the Woods Getaway Car part Trace yeah but that's so good but I think it's just a worse version of those two songs

actually no I think she's she's singing about something that I don't think she's really touched on before and I think like it's just a worse version of those two songs actually no I think she's she's singing about something that I don't think she's really touched on before and I think like it's not really touched on

in music maybe hasn't been lyrically touched on in a while Archers Archers Bows and arrows Sagittarius

yeah we've never heard it yeah no it's just like like I have the capacity to hurt and I've been hurt like I love that idea like encapsulated in the song

I just think that there's such a there's so much lyrically in it. Like, I think like it's, I really liked that. It never drops.

Actually. The first time I heard it, I was like, Oh, it never like, there's no drop. It never becomes something you can like really feel in a deeper way. But I actually disagree with that now because I kind of like the,

the way that it ends with like a sense of like calm, you know what I mean? It's kind of like the story of like you meet someone and then maybe like it doesn't have to be like as difficult as it's always been you know what i mean like i i think that's kind of nice and i think that's i appreciate like lyrical simplicity like that or just not even lyrical simplicity i don't think it's lyrically simple but just that kind of like um melodically it's very kind of straightforward and i think it's lyrically simple but just that kind of like melodically it's very kind of straightforward and I think it's kind of nice and I appreciate that she released it in advance

of the album because I think that I have a feeling the album will be more like that and by the time that this episode is out the album will be out and the jury will be out the jury will be out the jury will be in jury won't be out oh yeah I guess they'll come back

the foreman will say hi No, the jury will be in. The jury won't be out. Oh, yeah. I guess the jury will come back and render their verdict. The foreman will say, Hi. So wait, Max Witter and Sam Taggart wrote a show called Taggart Lawyers at Law

and they have Eliza Hurwitz playing the foreman. So it's this courtroom drama. But they have Eliza Hurwitz playing the foreman. And the writing is so good. She goes,

Hi. I'm the lead juror of the group. You might remember me. Anyway, we've made our decision. We just want to say that both sides give an amazing performance. Both sides give an amazing performance. Speaking of courtrooms and amazing performances,

you guys got to check out I Love You Now Die. That is a piece of culture that I love. What is it? It's an HBO doc. It's a two-hour, two-part doc. And it is about this case in Massachusetts. It's that girl who told her boyfriend to kill herself?

Yeah, texted her boyfriend, kill yourself, and then he did. Oh, yes, I remember this story. And then they charge her with manslaughter. And it is like this case. And they do such a good job because in the first hour you're like, get her in jail. But then they make her sympathetic. And because in the first hour, you're like, get her in jail.

But then they make her sympathetic. And then in the second hour, you're like, wait a minute. No one here was guilty. How do they do that? I guess I have to watch it. They explore the relationship

between her and the boyfriend and how fucked up it is. Yeah, and it is just like this example of the state needing to criminalize this thing in order to sort of, like,

sort of wring a wind out of a tragic situation and we don't this none none of it needed to be criminal you know like it

it shouldn't have been punitive like she needs treatment it was just so it's tragic and Lea Michele is prominently featured in the second half and that's awesome

wow she booked she booked wait what I thought it was a documentary it is but Lea Michele booked it but she'll say wow what she booked she booked wait what I thought it was a documentary it is but Lea Michele booked it but she booked a documentary

what she's the Janine Peer of this I gotta say you just have to watch it and Lea Michele is in it and she does she act in it this makes no sense

she is acting in it what she is acting in it okay I'm all in is it clips from Glee I'm not gonna say I'm not gonna spoil it for the people

who want to be surprised. I Love You Now diets on HBO? On HBO. You gotta see it. You gotta watch it today. Speaking of great performances in courtrooms,

you guys gotta check out Big Little Lies. You guys have to check out Big Little Lies. Oh, well, the thing that Matt keeps doing now is when,

like, sometimes I'll, like, be pouty or whatever and Matt will be like, what's wrong? Or Matt will just, like, force me. I'll say, Bonnie.

He'll force me to, he'll force me to, like, be, like, social or amiable or whatever and Matt will be like, what's wrong? Or Matt will just force you. He'll force me to be social or amiable or whatever. I don't like the energy in this house. There's some dark energy there and I don't like it. And I grab your head and I go, Mom!

There's the growl that you're adding. No. To be clear for for the reader um when we when matt came up with this bit we really dug into how horrible that character yeah no for them to add another the only other black woman in the cast to be a voodoo witch is shocking it was so shocking when i was i could not when she was sneaking those crystals into that room i said what are you doing david e kelly well literally it was like when you when the first episode that she's in and then it's great there's that first there's that scene the dinner scene is iconic so and the actress kills it and so i was thinking to myself when

i was watching that i'm like this is so crazy because this actress that's playing Bonnie's mother is absolutely slaying this part but I wonder why they're not they don't have like

a big star in this part they could have added so my theory is Angela Bassett or like Alfre Woodard or somebody I bet they were out

to all the fancy actresses and then they all were like oh I have one good scene and then she's a voodoo witch and I'm in a coma for four episodes? Yeah, no, I'm not doing this. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm Angela Bassett. Yeah. You know what I mean? Also, I don't know that that's what happened and I'm actually happy that this actress booked the part because she at least got two episodes of good work. She was given not great material, but she was amazing.

I just think that really was like, I guess they needed something like that to happen so that the Zoe Kravitz Bonnie character get to the point where she said that to her husband and like bucked up and went to the police station. But it was like, I don't know. I thought the first two or three episodes were great. And then they had like a really weak middle.

And then the finale I thought was good. I haven't finished. I haven't finished. I haven't finished. You haven't finished? I fell behind, and I looked at my cue, and I said, I would rather watch American Ninja Warrior right now

than Big Little Lies. And when that happens, you really have to reconsider. Wow. You hate to hear it. You do, but the thing is, I just wasn't engaged by the story.

I kept being like, why did they lie? It is a setup at the end of the thing is, I just wasn't engaged by the story. I kept being like, why did they lie? It is a setup at the end of the first season, and you buy it. And you're like, yes, okay, great. And then they all come back, and you're like, no, something about this doesn't ring that. Do you know how it ends? I don't.

Can we talk about it? Or do you want to watch it? You're not going to watch it. I'll watch it. He'll watch it. I don't want to talk about something that i haven't actually seen i want to i don't want to be forced to defend or um you know sort of condemn yes an ending that i haven't seen right here's what i'll say the way that it ends and i'm not going to say anything

the way that it ends made me feel like oh maybe, maybe we didn't need a second season. Honestly. Which is saying a lot, because it's like, there were so many great moments and so many great performances, and it was just like, the way that it ends, I was like, oh, I liked the ending

that these characters had initially. The first ending. Because to me, it's like, there's a mixed message there. Yeah. Yep. Yep, yep, yep, yep.

And it's a little dark. Well, none of us are going to ever be booked for any Reese Witherspoon project. We all went in for the teacher, though, right? We all went in. Who gave us? Who gave absolutely nothing to the can.

I'm sorry. They literally was watching it. Gorgeous. Gorgeous man. Beautiful man, but I was just like, okay, I could have done this better. We all could have. We all could have.

Yeah, I mean, maybe he like... Well, I don't know. I didn't see your guys' tapes. Actually, no, but Matt and I... Did you and I record, self-tape each other? No, i didn't want to do that because i we were going out for the same part and i didn't want us to like copy each other right but the thing is with you two especially if you know that if they went with one or the other it's a completely different like their thing they want it well the thing i just didn't i don't know i just i i didn't want little like

choices i didn't want our choices to get confused okay let's let's all do let's all three of us do the same line okay um the line is what is the moral of charlotte's web where's amabella okay i know that's not the line but like okay what is the moral of charlotte's web where's amabella okay i'll go first okay what is the moral of charlotte's web where's Amabella okay I'll go first okay what is the moral of Charlotte's Web where's Amabella okay that's okay now Joel okay

hold on hold on hold on I gotta think about this and for me it's about the tempo you know that for me as an actor it's about the tempo

of course this is compelling to listen to in your own time okay okay in your own time It's about the Timbuktu. Of course. This is compelling to listen to. In your own time. Okay, okay. In your own time. Mm-hmm. And what's the moral of Charlotte's Web? Where's Amabella?

That's very good. I think that beats mine. Okay, Matt. And what is the moral of Charlotte's Web? Where's Amabella? Wow. Listener, reader, you decide who books this. Yeah.

Please reach out. I think I booked. I think you booked. I think you booked. Well, I think you went in a much different, you know, there's sort of a... Where is this bitch? Where is that about?

Okay, did we lose a kid? We lost a kid. No, you know what would have been the gag, though, for any of us to do even a short scene with Nicole Kidman? Or Laura. That is true. There is a good scene with Laura. Honestly, anybody but.

Honestly, we could have been in the room when she said that line about buying everyone polar bears. Oh, we could have been in the room when she said that line about buying everyone polar bears. Oh, I love that line. We could have been sitting there watching her deliver that. That's so good. Why are we bad and didn't book? I don't know.

We're just not stars. We're actors. I think what happens is we're not six foot five beautiful models. And that is sort of the issue of my life. I mean, same. Just yours. You guys don't struggle. You guys don't struggle. Did you fall in love on the island?

I did not fall in love on the island, although I said this on the George Severus episode. I was like, I'm gonna fall in love on Fire Island. I did not fall in love on the island. Well, I'm glad we got that update. Oh, thank you. What do you mean? No, I mean if you said said you were going to fall in love with Far Allen, then you didn't. Yeah, you know, he did not.

There was, I had a moment where that one guy. Oh, yeah. That one guy who just, like, but he, like, gave me a very, like, brotherly vibe. Because remember at the party, he was like, come here. And he just, like, pulls me in. It was like a camp counselor. I was like, that's, like, the camp counselor I have a crush on. And then I was like, and then I saw him at the pantry, and I was like come here and he just like pulls me in it was like a camp counselor i was i was like that's like the camp counselor i have a crush on and then i was like and then i saw him at the

pantry and i was like oh no that's what i go to fire island for platonic hugs platonic well it was it was a sexy hug and joel saw and then joel afterwards goes like go for it and i was like i'll go i don't know and then and then it just like wasn't the right thing i the the thing is is like platonic sex is what I think my 30s evolved. I have not, every new friend I've made in my 30s, I very casually have platonic sex with. And I think it's great. Every new friend you've made in your 30s?

Yeah, anyways, people in my close group of friends. Does it fuck up intimacy for you, though? It doesn't. Really? It really doesn't. I find it to be like really really nice and special and it's actually made sex more special and I have less sex

now. In a way that's like good and manageable. Because I want it to be because now I'm like I've experienced it as like an intimate act of like you know friendship and love with another person and want that and yet I also don't think I ever,

I don't think I, I, and you push back on this. I don't think I want a boyfriend ever. I think I'm, I think I am, I am, I'm sort of coming into myself and realizing about myself that I am not

somebody who I think I want it. I forced myself to want it for so long and I am so much happier right now being alone. And I think i will continue to be happier alone um rather than with one other human yes yes it's not that i was pushing back on it it's that it's that i'd it's you said you said it of like i'm not meant to be with someone i don't think i am but i well i don't i mean i i'm not disputing that you don't want a boyfriend right now that's your choice to not want one But I don't think that you're someone who's going to end up without a partner.

And that's the way you were saying it. Yeah, but I think that is true, though. Because I don't think I'm the kind of person who has space for that. We've had friends who, and you included, Matt, who have sort of expressed this have sort of expressed this sentiment in some form where they're like I'm not going to be

with someone for for the long for like the far future I will not be with someone

like I'm going to say his name but for the longest time I was like nope never going to

have a boyfriend again and now it's like now like just based on this Fire Island trip he's like

yeah I'm starting to like actually date again I don't know if that's gonna be it for me because i've always hated dating i and then and i said this to you the last three guys that i've like had feelings for like strong feelings for strong romantic feelings for i have turned into an like a different person and not a person that i liked and i always come out of it and look back on it and be like who was that I did not like that person I do not like myself when I'm in that mode and I guess like until the day comes that I

find somebody who I am my best self and who doesn't change you in a way yeah who doesn't like get inside me and like change me and like make me needy and jealous and and like whatever whatever I'm just not gonna go for it I'm not looking and this isn't even me trying to trick the universe because I've tried that before too of being like I don't want it I don't want it I don't want it okay I said I don't want it please bring it into my life I'm just like so happy like

having a lot of these very like intimate sort of like friendships and it's filling the it's like it's giving me everything that I need. It's filling. That you may find.

Well, I feel like, I don't know, I feel like every time I've ever got infatuated with someone, I chemically become like a crazy person. Yeah, yes.

Like, and that's why I feel like those things that may, and maybe those things that you were feeling and experiencing were just infatuation and like when you find like a a sort of love feeling for someone, it will feel different.

I mean, yeah. I wouldn't say that the things that I'm feeling right now for certain people that I like are not love feelings. But I'm just realizing the older I get. Yeah, that it's less important. That I just don't know that I have the space in my life. Like, I like to be alone a lot of times.

I get that. And just sort of dip in and out of it. Yep. Like, I would like to, I would like to date a couple. I would like to be the non-primary partner.

I see. For two separate people. Got it. You know, I would like to be the Allison Janney of their relationship. Yes.

The best supporting actor. Come in. Star and actress. Star and actress. Star and actress. Come in, give an amazing monologue and you think you want more but you don't.

Right. Oh, but I always want more with Allison. Yeah, but you think that but you don't. But I don't. I had this thought last night where I was staying up

until very late like just working on like writing and I was just like, stop. No, I was just thinking about something in relation to my own situation.

Okay. Which I do want to talk about just very very briefly but um i was like if i had if i had like if i was sharing if i was living with someone like it like a like a significant other like this would suck and this would be hard and i would have to like go to the other room and like that's stupid you do that all the time i, the fact of the matter is like, I would go, when I was living with Henry, I would go into the next room all the time. Yeah,

but I just, I'm like Joel in this way where I just fucking love my alone time so much. but you don't have to sacrifice your alone time to be with someone. You do not. You simply don't. God, but like, I've just been dating guys,

and we've talked about this. I've just been dating guys lately who have just about this. I have just been dating guys lately who have just been like so demanding of my time and like and I've had to put in, I've had to for whatever reason do the work to make them feel comfortable or to make them enjoy the experience. And I'm like, why am I doing all the fucking work?

I don't know. Anyway, but with Matt. What? Because I remember, I mean like, of course this is like fresh off your breakup with him. Well, the thing is, like, I know what you're saying. And I think what I said was, I can't see myself putting that much energy into something because I know what it feels like to lose. Yeah.

It is like grieving a death. It is like going and it's, and it hurts very bad. I mean, Catherine Cohen says it. It's like having a best friend, and then they die. And then they die. It is. I mean, literally. And she says it as a joke in her stand-up,

but it's actually so true. And the fact of the matter is, even people that you remain close with after you break up, the relationship isn't the same, and over time it becomes you talk less and less and less and less to the point now where like um you don't see them much at all anymore and you're still close but it's like i was thinking the other day like uh there's it's almost like a two and a half year relationship that kind of just happened and i i almost like it's hard for me to almost recall the the details of it i remember it in like broad emotional strokes but i think like the honestly

like as amazing as it was when it was like the trauma of losing it like gets you to say things like i'm never doing that again because likely relationships will end you know what i mean like uh so it's it's hard and it's like you do have to kind of like combat you it is like kind of going into like battle to do that like it's just hard but i do think that if you stumble upon a situation where it's like two people willing to like try to do that like you would owe it to yourself to to try to see that happen big and i just feel like i just feel bad for people who um not you guys i'm not saying you guys dare you i feel bad for people who who you like i've been in situations where i've presented like that i like someone to someone

else and i've just watched them like completely shut down and i'm like wow i hope that this is like something that you i hope this is something that works for you and you're okay with and not something that you're actively sad about because i like some people that i'm not like no no not you not you not you i'm not talking about you i'm talking about guys that I've dealt with. Got it, got it, got it. Where it's like, we'll have like an amazing like first situation together or like it'll be very promising and then I'll just get this sense, especially with gay men where it's just like they want to run so fast from like intimacy. And it's like I don't want to be like that

and I wouldn't want to be with someone like that because you have to work at them my problem is oftentimes when someone when someone translates to me that they have like emotional issues like i do the thing where it's like oh i should help i will be the answer here it's it's been such a pattern and so like it's been nice it's just been nice for that to not be the case i can be needy i can be needy me too but it's so funny you know what's funny about ariana grande's album the the um thank you next album is the first one is there's a song is imagine imagine then needy then nasa yeah so needy is like i can be needy like if you don't text me back i'm gonna act crazy like give me space I'm gonna need space

don't tell me you love me in person that is I feel that way all the time I mean me too there is never a right answer

that is such a 20 something album oh Tim Platt coined this term like it's a 20 something album like Beach Boys Pet Sounds is a 20 something album where it's like

pining and then like distancing and it's like truly you're like vacillating between all these crazy extremes and I feel like that like Thank U, Next is truly you're like vacillating between all these crazy extremes and I feel like that like Thank U, Next

is like generationally like a 20 something album defining it's just so funny because like the two sentiments are literally opposite yes yes but they're both great songs

and they both work and I both think they literally explain those situations well for like a pop star and we contain multitudes and we contain multitudes we sure do contain multitudes

Ariana contains multitudes this is the kind of thing that was like, when I'm in a relationship, I am very tactile and very like, I'm not possessive, but I am like, I like to be touching the person

and I like to be like on top of them and like giving them kisses and stuff. And I love to cuddle at night. And then also there's another part of me that's like, I can't talk to you for 24 hours. Yeah. No, I'm the same.

Like at the drop of a hat. Yep. Yep. Yep. same same same wow that's why i feel almost happy that like the person i'm seeing now like we were have had realized that it was like a thing and then we're immediately separated across the country that's actually how my dangerous though i don't think it is emotionally dangerous because i've had that get the fuck out I don't think it is. That's so emotionally dangerous. You get the fuck out of here. I think it is because when you live out the beginning stages of a relationship primarily over text at this stage, and your situation is different because you have known this person for a while. You started out friends. So it's different.

But I will say that in general when I've had these situations occur and you live out that relationship in text, you build a different person in your brain. Yes, yes, yes. And you build up, you know, this like tethered version of who they actually are in your brain. And then you get to them and it is, and it all falls apart.

Oh, that's happened. That's happened recently. I get that. I mean, I hear that. I think that your situation is ultimately different. We also speak on the phone a lot more than I've ever talked to anyone on the phone. He does love to call people on the phone. You're not unique.

It's fine that I'm not unique. I'm not a phone person, but I will be for someone that needs that. But I am not a phone person, and I am not a FaceTime person. Oh, I'm a FaceTime bitch. I constantly FaceTime both of you. you don't facetime me enough i face both of you no you both of you and i see you're lying i see it unavailable no unavailable the last you facetime me thrice a year bitch that is not true that's yes that is not time. I don't think you're a big FaceTimer. We FaceTimed a couple times.

You need to FaceTime me more. The last time you FaceTimed me was when we were in Palm Springs and you were in Mexico. Oh, but Joel and I a few months ago tried FaceTiming a group FaceTime, which you can do now, which truly seems... I've never done it

since that, like that was just you and me and like we needed more people to like make it feel like an actual experience we need to do this soon I've group facetimed

a lot of people that are in the same bar just like trying to find everybody that's so funny it's not effective it would be better to text

but I just love to facetime and you guys don't answer he's an early adopter you never pick up my facetime that's not true I've always picked up do youTime and you guys don't answer. He's an early adopter. You never pick up my FaceTime. That's not true. I've always picked up.

Here's a question. Here's a poll. Do you need to text the person first to let them know that you're about to FaceTime them? No. I never do. No, I don't do that. Does it increase your chance of them picking up though? No. It's like setting up a meeting. It's like, okay, great. Can I FaceTime you in like 10 minutes?

I FaceTime with my therapist. That's the only person I FaceTime. That's great. No. He's the only one that picks up. Oh, appointments with? He's the only one that picks up. Dr. Neal.

Stop. This is a bad narrative. BetterHelp.com. I used your code. When you need help, BetterHelp. My jingle is catching on. Was that an ad, Tracy? Did that count?

It's okay. We're done I'm just kidding You guys get money now We get money now Okay I think it's time I think it's time No

I always forget I always forget I actually forgot today too I forgot Wait I have one I have one Okay

This is One second This is I don't think so honey This is our segment We're gonna take one minute To go off on something in culture Matt you'll start

This is Matt Rogers I don't think so honey His time starts now I don't think so honey, this is our segment where we take one minute to go off on something and culture. Matt, you'll start. This is Matt Rogers. I don't think so honey, his time starts now. I don't think so honey, Vincent Van Gogh. Okay, dramatic bitch. Guess what?

I have both my ears and I will become famous during my lifetime. Stupid whore. I think that you are not even the best painter. Okay? I think that there were

other painters that were much better. Like, Jackson Pollock. Excuse me. And he kept both his ears honey. Hey, I hope that you have at least one of your ears now, Vincent Van Gogh. Because hear me when I say I don't think so, honey.

When I see that photograph of Starry Night, when I see your picture of Starry Night, I think, okay, there's some promise here. Wish we could have seen more. And then, guess what? We didn't. Oh my God. That's it.

You are one portrait and one ear. 15 seconds. And I think that you haven't even had a good movie made about you. Did Willem Dafoe play you? I don't even remember.

I don't think so, honey. Vincent Van Gogh. Five seconds. More like Vincent Van Hell. So then now. And that's one minute's that was a very good one actually it really was i like that you're that was like nanette honestly that was like you hit a lot of the same thematic beats as nanette here's why i did it because i looked over at the at the library and there was there was a

biography on vincent van gogh and I was like, I have mine. Okay. I'm going to do mine on I Don't Think So Honey Randy Schultz. And the band played on It Didn't Play Long Enough. Oh, yes, please. I Don't Think So Honey

and the band played on. Okay, wait. Let's each do one. I'm going to do one off the bookshelf too. Okay. This is Bo and Yang's I Don't Think So Honey.

His time starts now. I Don't Think So Honey Sigmund Freud, bitch. What are you saying? Oh, dreams are the unconsciousest way of resolving conflicts that the conscious is too that are too disturbing for the conscious? Bitch, I knew that.

I knew that first, I bet, before I was even born and when you were fucking in school in Austria. I don't even fucking know your life, bitch. Get a better life story. Get a better life story. Get a better biography. All I know about you is that you think

that all men want to fuck their mothers, not if they're gay. 30 seconds. Do everything about gay people. Oh, and I think he like did, you know, whatever. Sigmund Freud, I truly slept through you in my high school psychology classes. I don't give a shit.

And psych, I didn't even take high school psychology but we did a brief little skim of you in my philosophy class because i was that bitch who was thinking in abstract terms and not doing soft science bullshit while i was in junior year five seconds i was doing hard sciences and philosophy because i was what a renaissance man in IB. That's one minute. Thank you. You didn't take AP psych? No, bitch. Because I was first of all in IB

and I was second of all, I was just like AP psych was like truly like the cop out AP. I'm sorry for all of my AP psych people. You are so mean and nasty and cruel. It was not a real class and people who took AP psych are underdeveloped people

who will never realize their potential. I got a 5 on AP Psych. Yeah, exactly. What were your other AP scores? I got a 5 on AP Psych. I got a 5 on AP English Lit. I got a 5 on AP English Comp. I got a 3 on AP Environmental Science.

I got a 2 on AP American History. I got a 2 on AP European History. And that's the only those are a lot of aps nah i did okay on my test scores never stop singing oh can we really quick there's the the the the conversation keeps going and and let me just pull this up yeah here's the thing. If you ask me to stop singing, I'm not going to. No, that is... I thought you were just going down to kiss my shoe.

Okay, here's... Can we just talk about this? Yeah. Matt needs to stop singing. These are reviews that I'm reading of Las Culturistas. First one, Matt needs to stop singing. Please stop. Next one, Matt should keep singing.

Title says it all. Next one, Matt should never stop singing. Music note emojis. Next one. Matt should keep singing. Title says it all. Next one. Matt should never stop singing. Music note emojis. Next one. Best podcast ever. Keep singing. Stop talking about astrology. Next review.

Keep singing and keep talking about astrology. Our brand community is really engaging with each other on the reviews. And also, we should say, it's time for you all to write a review if you haven't written one. Please write a review. It really helps written one. Please write a review. It really helps us out. And you know what? iTunes is now, you know, the podcast app has taken out the comedy chart. Yeah, why did they do that?

They've taken out all categories. They've lumped them all into one giant chart, right? Tracy, Hot Senior Producer Tracy is shocked. She's shook. We can change things around, but we still have a little thing somewhere. Well, I don't understand what they're doing, but I did notice that that was gone. Yes, but anyway, the landscape's changing. But send us a nice review and a rating.

We would love that. Joel, are you ready for one? Yeah, I'm not going to do the bookshelf thing. I am not facing the bookshelves in a way. And I was going to do Michelle Alexander as a joke. But that's tough territory. It's tough territory. I was going to do Michelle Alexander as a joke but that's that's tough territory it's tough territory

it's tough territory I was going to say the new Jim Crow we don't need a new one honey but that's that was that was sort of

the crux of it well let's hear what he has to say but you have something I think I have something yeah this is Joel Kim Boosters I Don't Think So Honey

as time starts now I Don't Think So Honey culture podcast that bank episodes okay honey listen here of something. Yeah. This is Joel Kim Boosters. I don't think so, honey. It's time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Culture podcasts that bank episodes. Okay, honey. Listen here. I do not need to hear about the Met Gala

three months later from people talking about it like it happened yesterday because I know that in your universe it did happen yesterday. And I know that some podcast hosts

they split and one podcast host goes and lives on a different coast for several months, and it makes it difficult for them to record episodes. But do not make that

our problem, okay? Figure it out, because we want to be able to talk about culture now. We want to be able to talk about the things that are happening on television now.

We want to be able to talk about our projects that are happening now. Okay, bitch? We do not want to hear them months later. And to know, to know that there are things

happening on the media in the media on television in the radio people talking there are things happening on the radio every day that we are not able to hear your takes on because they are banked to to the high heavens I do not think so honey record them

and release them immediately that's one minute. You know, it is famously rule of culture number 10. Current events are happening as we speak. And it's very difficult to not be able to cover them. To listen to myself speak about Marvel's Endgame in Texas months after that movie was released was humiliating for me.

Stop. Humiliating for me. Did you get a bunch of fucking hate DMs or something? People DMing me and saying, your takes are old. Your takes are so old. And to ask you about the actress and the listen to the episodes that were banked before

and here you talk about it three times. Humiliating for me. Humiliating. Fine. You know what? As a guest host in your house, in your home.

What are we going to do? Because I am going. I'm moving. Skype in. Are you going to fly to Los Angeles on your breaks? I will.

I got to say for some of my breaks I will be needing to go on vacation and not in a place that's LA. Well, then what are we gonna do? Not have episodes? You don't need to go on vacation.

You need to continue the podcast. We can do what Tawny Newsome and Andrew T. do, which is they'll do it, one of them will do it over a phone. No, I'm not doing that. One of us sounds garbled. I'm not doing that. No, you should figure out the studio

because you can do recordings, you can each go into a studio and it sounds seamless. But there's something about, and look, this is it. This is testing. This is needing to be in the room to book. There's something about being in the same room as us when we're with our guests.

I'm telling you right now, I'm not doing a phone thing. You hear that, Tracy? I'm not doing it. Tracy? And Bowen will have to give a more seamless way to do it, but I am hearing what you're saying. Okay, Tracy? I'm not doing it. Tracy? And Bowen will have to... Okay, Tracy knows. Tracy will propose something. Absolutely. Well, I guess we'll get a proposal after this, but Bowen Yang does not need to go on vacation

for two weeks during his breaks. He can come for a little bit, and then we can make a compromise where I go back to him. I've been... Yeah, whatever. You've been what? I've been working nonstop for the past 11 months.

Well, then you can go on a five or six day break, and then one day you can come to Los Angeles and record episodes with me. But then we'd still be banking. It still doesn't solve the problem. It's not solving the problem. No, it wouldn't. You're not solving my problem.

It wouldn't be aggressive banking. It would be where we record three episodes or so and then by the time there's another break then i go to new york and do it with you that's how that works that's called compromise there's something about a like a culture podcast talking about culture that's happening as it happens right but what are you what what is the thing that you're expressing as the solution to this? Honestly, a supplement where you and I go on Instagram Live together. No.

That's not the podcast. That's Instagram Live. So it looks, it feels like you are the one that's stopping this from happening. Or it feels like Joel has really thrown a fucking wrench into this and is making us bicker. No, because I am presenting. I'm presenting you know

what joel maybe maybe because we'll both be in la we can just do last call to recess together everyone seems to think that bowen yang and i are interchangeable oh my god the first night the first night on fire island this asian man a person of color you guys have had numerous asian people sister literally tapped me on the shoulder while bowen was steps away from me and said bowen and i said no and then he said bowen yang and i said no and then he said yes you are as though i were trying to be like demure and lie about my identity as bowen yang and i said no i'm not and he's like, you look just like him and then walked away. And I said, unbelievable. And then days before a prominent Asian person

in the media mixed us up. Yeah. No, I need to apologize. No, you don't. I sent them a dressing down

in an email that was wild. But what you should have done is you should have turned him around and then he would have been like, I should have said, identical strangers. Honestly, I should, I should have done is you should have turned him around and then he would have been like identical strangers. Honestly, I should have. I should have been like, no, honey, that's Bowen Yang.

Yeah. That's who you want. And then I would have, without skipping a beat, gone. And that's Joel Kim Booster. And bitch. Who are you? Who are you? Oh, my God. Oh, that would have hurt.

Where were you? I'm going to say this. I give both of you my blessing to co-hosts Bowen is stepping down I just want to say to all the listeners out there Bowen Yang would rather go on vacation than make sure that he was here for the

podcast with you and that's literally what he's saying he's saying hand it over to Joel Kim that's what he's saying I think it would elevate the dialogue. It would elevate everything. Wow, the public victim narrative. Here we go. I'm not being a victim.

The morose of it all. Bonnie, I don't like the energy in this house at all. Oh my God. This dark energy here. I'm saying it would make it great. I simply won't have the time because I will announce now because by the time this comes out, it will be announced that Mitra Johari and I

are doing our own podcast called Urgent Care. It is a call and advice show. That's right. Joel and Mitra are on Earwolf. That does not mean that you can't

be on our pod because I'll need to have episodes. I mean the people need the episodes. This is not for you. This is for your listeners. Oh, it's very much for me.

This is for your listeners. The co-mingling extended universe of LC which also reaches out into Earwolf territory is LC, Seek Treatment, very much for me. This is for your listenership. The co-mingling extended universe of Elsie, which also reaches out into Earwolf territory, is Elsie,

seek treatment, yo, is this racist, and soon, urgent care. I think those, the hosts there are gonna be like just little swinging doors

for everybody. Tracy's making a face. No, because we all know it's not true. You are going to come and record episodes with me,

or I'll come to you. That is what will happen. But we're still banking episodes. It doesn't matter. Their episodes are good. It's Joel saying this. Stupid Joel. Oh my God.

Joel's so dumb. No, I mean, you banked the Betty Gilman episode and it was very good. You managed to get on top of Marianne. Yes, yes. We've been doing a great job. Okay, all right. Except. Except what? Except. Yes, yes. We've been doing a great job. Okay, all right. Except.

Except what? Except. Except. No, but we're making it a point to release this. Please watch Sunnyside tomorrow. Tomorrow night. Oh my God. That's nuts.

It's nuts. I'm actually scared because this is the first time I'll be shooting something while it's airing and I'm afraid. I'm afraid that it will affect me. You're afraid that it'll influence? Well, don't watch it. Yeah yeah that's what I would say that's

what Sandra never watched herself on really ever ever never seen it I don't know if I can I know I can do that I don't know if I could have the this yeah I can do it I can do it but I probably couldn't either I have to watch it I'm too narcy but you know what don't look at

like reviews or don't look at ratings. That'll be really hard, though. I'm going to have to stay off Reddit. Someone can tell you. Have me look it up for you. Okay. Great. I will be happy to do that.

We close every episode with a song. Yeah. I'm going to take my horse to the hometown road. I'm going to ride till I can't no more. They're going to tell me nothing. Can't tell me nothing. It's still number one in September. It's been number one for 400 weeks.

Mariah Carey found dead in a bitch. Goodbye. Forever Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit

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what kind of dudes are these dudes? We're going to find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Thanksgiving Day 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez

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Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Cheryl Swoops. And I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women. And T and I have no problem going there.

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