Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - “Stunning Icon 2 Whore Ugly” (w/ George Civeris & Sam Taggart)

Episode Date: September 30, 2020

It's always amazing when four sisters can get together, each in their own little box on a screen, and just go deep. And that's what Las Culturistas Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang do with StraightioLab's George Civeris and Sam Taggart. The boys talk how much they love dick, and update each other on what's going on with their buttholes. Also, James Gandolfini as a sexual entity, insane sweeps episodes of Grey's Anatomy and Desperate Housewives, having crushes on friends, and how Charlie Puth made the boys a little horny there for a second! Paws Up For Puth! Slather on some ball toner and enjoy this episode of a podcast that was made for the love of podcasting. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Oh, and look over there. Wow. Is that culture? Yes. Oh, my goodness. Wow. Las Culturistas. Ding dong.

Las Culturistas calling. And at this point, I want to run this by Bowen. We've all been recording. Us and our guests have all been recording. And we've had an amazing conversation so far that hasn't been on the pod. Don't you agree, Bow? And so I think that we should go back. And you can listen now to the conversation that we've been having.

I don't know. What's happening? You want people? I want to play the conversation that we all just had together now oh but see no here's the thing i stopped my recording and i started bo n yang oh damn why you did that we got we got to restart now no don't we just no we don't let's restart oh anna has okay no anna has the recording we don't have to start we're going to play this little beat

of conversation now hi Doug does George have a pop filter I don't I'm sorry great you might want to move just slightly back from it yeah there you go push the mic forward too

okay sure is this better slightly it's hard to tell until you get going Yeah, there you go. Thank you. Or you can push the mic forward, too. Okay, sure. Is this better? Slightly? It's hard to tell until you get going, but it'll work. Until you get close-up. Thank you. I was actually very passive-aggressively sent a pop filter. Didn't know it was coming, and all of a sudden it arrived,

and I realized what was being said about me behind my back was that I needed a pop filter. This industry is so cruel. It's very cruel. And there's a lot of, you know, straight men that we work with sending gay men pop filters. And it's a microaggression. It says, be silent. You know what I mean?

It says, don't pop. You know? Yeah. It says, oh, try saying an S. Yeah. It's saying your lisp is in the way. Sounds a little lispy there. It says, you know what? Your P's and B's, which is a little coded, are popping.

And I said, you damn right. My P's and B's pop. I'll save it for the pod. This is gold. My P's and B's be popping. They see me after school. Oh, wow. Oh, my God. Little mama. I love that track. My peas and bees be poppin They see me after school Oh wow Oh my god little mama

I love that track For some reason that track was always too loud on my iTunes And when it came on it would just be like The mixing We're gonna do something revolutionary with the pod Okay so that was our conversation That was our amazing conversation with our guests This is historic yeah this is fun though

I like that we haven't done this before. Yeah, and it's also like, I thought that what we were talking about was so interesting, which was the song Little Mama and Avril Lavigne. You mean the Girlfriend remix? Yeah, that's what I meant. But I also think that it's fun to say

it's the song Little Mama and Avril Lavigne. Which, what a moment in culture. Little Mama, I mean, things just fully stopped with her when she like stormed the stage at the VMAs that one year. Remember? Yeah. Well, they stopped.

2009. That was like, I think, the last moment where it was permissible to be Little Mama in public. But before that, never forget when she was like... You always cease to amaze me. Cease to amaze me. Yeah. You guys are so amazing, you always cease to amaze me. Cease to amaze me. Yeah. You guys are so amazing.

You always cease to amaze me. You always cease to amaze me. Which is truly iconic. America's Next Best Dance Crew. Lil Mama was the judge. Mm-hmm. Yes. You know, I think she was really important to the culture.

We were all talking about, as you just heard, how the song Lil Mama and Avril Lavigne, the mix on it is insane. Oh, no, I'm sorry. On important to the culture. We were all talking about, as you just heard how the song, little mama, Navar, Levine is the mix on it is insane. Oh no, I'm sorry. On lip gloss is insane. Oh,

lip gloss is amazing. And you know what? Actually, little mama is a moment of culture and she didn't make the list. We may have to do another list. We may have to do another list, Matt. I will first.

I want to check in with you. How are you dealing with fame? How am I dealing with fame? Uh, it's, it's, it's been a lot, you know, I'm very famous now. And now that hot dog is out, I'm famous. I'm on the a list. Uh, Blake Lively is texting me, which is my first, that's exactly the first place my brain went. Okay. You're famous. What happens to you? Blake Lively texts you. Um, no, it's, I'm super excited about the show being out. I think it looks really cute. I think it's so wonderful.

It's so great. I'm so you like it. I love it so much. It's made me so happy. I've rewatched the episodes. Thank you for doing that. I love the sort of Trojan horsing of Gru into the show. Did you notice that I was very myself on the show?

Yes. And we love that. And you say that in a way that is. Well, can i say something that's weird okay so i've really never seen like myself in like a long form on screen like being myself and so watching myself it was sort of like meeting a stranger that i knew does that make sense it's like i don't know that person at all. And I wonder if I encountered that person, what I would feel like and what I would say or do. But I understand that that is me.

It's weird to see yourself on. You're literally being played back like a condensed edited version of yourself. And you're like, oh, this is me? Yeah. And that's something that you've been dealing with for some time. Although oftentimes when you're on screen, you're wearing sort of a fun wig or, you know, like a Saturday night lifestyle costume.

Yes. Yes. And yet I still think that's not me. Yeah. Well, that's because you do an amazing performance. That's true. That's very true. You, you get me. And you got me good.

Jester? You know, for you, literally, Jester, you have done it again and again and again. And every time you do an amazing sketch, you're doing it again, Jester. Jester, I don't anticipate being in these shows whatsoever. We'll see. Why do you say this?

Why do you feel this way? I feel this way because it's, you know, it's going to be a shorter show. And there's just not as much real estate. And it's the biggest cast we've ever had in the history of the show. There's 400 people on the cast? 409. Giddy up, 409.

See, at that point, I think they should just have 410. You know what I mean? No, Lauren likes the prime number. Okay. That makes a lot of sense. It might be. 20 prime number. Okay. That makes a lot of sense. It might be. 20? 20.

This is one of our most beautiful traditions on the show is where we have a little four top going. Wouldn't you say? Love a four top. Love a square. Love a sort of, you know, quadrant moment. Yeah, exactly. Sex in the City. And that's exactly what I was thinking.

This is Sex in the City. Especially when I looked at one of the people that we have on the show, because famously, you know, this person who we're not saying their name because they're the guest and then we haven't revealed the guest, but one of them used to do

Sex in the City live stagings with you, Bowen. That's's right and we've talked about this every time he's been on the show yes but it's but you never you know sometimes like some new people are tuning in you have to tell them history that's right history history has its eyes on us and i am just so happy that these these two boys are here they're some of my... Well, they host my favorite podcast. They host my favorite podcast. You know, there's been a Nympho Wars-sized vacuum hole in the podcast space. And I think they're... Big hole.

They're not really meeting that occasion. But it's sort of cerebral on the same level as Nympho Wars was on some level, wouldn't you say? No, no. Okay. No, I don't think they're as smart as them. Okay. No, no, no, no, no, no. I actually don't tune in for the intelligence.

I tune in for the laughs. I tune in for the laughs. No, these two boys are very smart and very funny. I think above all else, they're funny. Above all else, number one, they are funny is number one. Second is they are white. Second is they are white. Third is they are gay. Fourth is that they are so cute.

So cute. So cute. In fact, you and I throughout the years have discussed with each other our crushes on the boys. Oh my God, that's right. We have charted little tickles. Little tickles. Sam is, oh and he's wearing this neon Chromatica shirt that I just noticed and he is He really is. He's doing

the cut it out motion with his hands. But we're not gonna. We're not gonna. We felt little tickles sometimes when it comes to these boys. And actually it's a front runner for title of F. Little tickles. Little tickles sometimes. Little tickles sometimes. Okay, so's a frontrunner for Title of F. Little Tickles. Little Tickles Sometimes. Little Tickles Sometimes. Okay, so I think at this point, we bring them in.

They host the wonderful podcast Stradio Lab. Welcome into your ears. George Severus and Sam Taggart! Oh my God. Happy Christmas to us. Happy Christmas to us. And to us a good night. Okay, I have to say something. Oh my God. Happy Christmas to us. Happy Christmas to us. And to us a good night. Okay.

I have to say something. And I said, I brought this up to Matt the other day. We've, we've, Matt, I think has made this comparison. He goes,

I think he, Matt's like, oh, I'm the Sam and you're the George. And I was like, I actually think it's flipped where I'm the Sam and Matt's the George because Matt and George both lead the conversation in some ways. What are you doing right now?

You're fired. You gotta go. I just think Sam and I are like, really we're kind of like the steady sort of rocks in the duo and we're sort of like, yeah, okay. That's interesting. And then George and Matt are the ones popping off, kind of connecting all the dots together, doing sort of like yeah okay that's that's interesting and then george and matt are the ones popping off kind of connecting all the dots together doing all of that interesting i mean

what do you what do you think i mean it's definitely a contrarian theory i would but not one that i disagree with i i see the connection there you think you're more down to earth than i am you're not down to earth like just like like you know what's just exactly exactly and that's what makes me step in and lead the conversation no no no you see what happened right there sam oh no she's short circuiting she's got halfway through a thought and didn't know the rest of the words which is me culture and also not for nothing everyone one thing is

that in every podcast duo there's one that knows plays and knows books and one that doesn't know plays and books and Sam and I

both Sam you don't know books you don't know books Sam no Sam knows books Sam does know books that's ridiculous to say I publicly read Urs, Sam. No, Sam knows books. Sam does know books. That's ridiculous to say. I publicly read Ursula K. Le Guin. Sam was an English

major. I majored in STEM like Carly Crosley. Oh my god. I didn't even read a book until I was in my 20s. That's false advertising. I'm self-taught. And I brought in this very terrible conversational

frame it's not true there's no like you know perfect alignment with this but i'm just saying like isn't it fun to think of each of the four of us as very multitudinous people yeah it's so fun to think about that but i mean i don't think that's the truth i don't know that we have like that much the first thing they told us when they we we've talked about this on the podcast but we were part of a podcasting reality show and then we won and then we are in contract to produce 400 episodes of the podcast paul abdul chose us and one thing they said is if you contain multitudes you have to pick one and one person has to have one multitude and the other person has to have the other and they need to be complimentary exactly yeah exactly which is such a helpful note i feel like we've grown so much i mean not too much because we don't want to gain more no they said grow uh you know a pre-specified

amount and after each episode they tell us that too much growth or not enough growth yeah i guess one question that i have right away just to start off the podcast, is does Paula give you guys notes on every episode? I think in this universe that we've created, she does give us notes. She emails us every single episode we release. Well, she emails Sam because he's better with words. But then she sends me a video of her dancing. Wow. It's like she's doing a dance performance that conveys what her critiques are.

Yes. She's producing both Hillary Clinton and Bethany Frankel's new podcasts. Wow. Those I think are going to be really similar, actually. Do you know what I was trying? I was looking at, I don't know why. I was looking at the podcast rankings, which are so depressing because it's literally like,

Joe Rogan, you know, Megyn Kelly. And I saw that the two high-profile podcasts that are about to premiere are Bethany and Hillary. And I thought, I wanted to make some kind of joke that was like, whoever wins, that means the election will go one way. And then I was like, like wait which way would that mean which one of them is uh-huh yeah that's interesting if you were to poll people do you like bethany or

hillary better which one of them is trump and which one is biden i think it is sort of an alien versus predator situation where it's no matter who wins we lose yes yeah and that's that's actually really important to say. And never forget that in the movie Alien vs. Predator, Kelly Rowland gets murdered after she calls Freddy Krueger a faggot. So, which is... I do want to say, it is... I don't know if this...

I'm not allowed to... Iconic. No, that really did happen. I'm not allowed to coin a rule of culture, but I do want to say just specifically... You are. For this year, I would say a rule of culture, but I do want to say just specifically for this year, I would say a rule of culture is no matter who wins, we lose.

Alien versus Predator. I think it's actually, it's rule of culture number 71. This year is Alien versus Predator. No matter who wins, we lose. That is a tough rule of culture but you know i think it can get some catchy tough but it can be catchy it's it's it's officially in it's officially in i mean once once we say it in unison it's in it's sealed darling who was that young girl oh it was you know who it was martha it was not martha mcsellie it was was like we will never change the constitution someone was like that's what an amendment is

you absolute craze craze oh i'm so tired of it i hate it when someone says something dumb and then someone smart is like that's actually dumb it's like yeah that's like their thing like but now i know that that person said a dumb thing you know i don't care they're dumb they've been dumb who's it's like who's more dumb the person saying dumb things or the person whose entire identity is pointing out that things are dumb oh my god both absolutely both hashtag both hashtag Absolutely both. Hashtag both. Hashtag. Both hashtag. Hashtag both. Both hashtag. I say hashtag after.

I think it'll catch on. Yeah. That sounds really smart. Innovative. Wait, we're all such sisters. I know. We really are. We really are.

On our podcast, I mentioned, I said something and I said, oh, and then my sisters did this. And then Sam was clearly so confused and said, you know, I'm so used to the new meaning of sisters that I think sisters should be called girl brothers. Because when I hear sisters, I think gay guys that I'm friends with, that I'm on a text thread with perhaps. That's what sister means to me. And my sisters are not gay guys. They're straight women. No. And it's really, I mean. They're straight women. Yeah. No. And it's really, I mean, yeah, you really don't know. The term is so nonspecific at this point.

It's like aloha. It's like aloha. Should we even be using it for anybody anymore? Right? Does that make sense? Well, we've sort of dreamed up something I think is better, which is Girl Brothers. Girl Brothers. Which sounds like a problematic movie from the late 90s. we've dreamed, we've sort of dreamed up something I think is better, which is girl brothers, girl brothers,

girl, which sounds like a problematic movie from the late nineties. Right. Or from the, you know, mid two thousands or from like, you know, now it sounds like white chicks era,

sorority boys, sorority boys, sorority boys. Yes. Right. Right. It sounds like Sam's favorite movie. I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry.

Is that really your favorite movie? You freak? Yes. Okay. It like sam's favorite movie i now pronounce you chuck and larry is that really your favorite movie you yes it's okay it's not my favorite movie but i do think it's hot and i do want to watch them have sex with each other because you think kevin james is is kevin james your number one who's your number one who's my number one gay or straight james gandolfini hot he's dead so i don't know if that counts I really believe that for you because you love a big ol' big ol' big ol' bear I know it I mean when have you guys

watched Sopranos like when he holds a woman's head and his hands are like so big I'm like I'm I want to be that woman what's he doing to her head? Just like holding her hair. And it's like, but his hands are gigantic on her little petite head.

Oh, it's romantic and sexual? Yeah, it's hot. Okay. It's romantic and sexual? Is it? It's sexual and nature. It's sexual and nature. James Gandolfini has such an energy.

I was recently watching, well, we were talking about how Lucy Liu was in God of Carnage and got terrible reviews. And so then that led me down a path of, because James Gandolfini was in the original Broadway cast of God of Carnage, and it led me down a path of watching public TV interviews with the original cast. And they were all like-

Marsha Gay. Sorry? Marsha Gay. Marsha Gay,ha Gay Hope Davis Jeff Daniels yes good cast and

and James Gandolfini and everyone else you know is trying Marsha especially God bless her it's she's trying so hard

to make very kind of intricate points and then James Gandolfini will just with a grunt say so much more I mean he really was. That was a loss. That was sad.

Yeah. I actually watched him over, when I was visiting my mom, I watched Enough Said. I was just going to ask, how was that? Oh, it's great. I had already seen it and it was just as good the second time.

It's sad, right? I haven't seen it. It's like, I would say it's bittersweet. I mean, it's like one of those romantic comedies that has a non-traditional narrative. But I mean, it is ultimately a romantic comedy. And like, I think it has a lot of heart. I think it's one of Nicole Halaf's.

No, I'm upset. I'm upset. No, we're mad. We're mad. We want traditional narratives only queen. I'm sorry, but if you're making a romantic comedy, AKA rom-com, can you keep it traditional? Can it be?

The break up featuring Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn found dead in a ditch. Found absolutely dead. If a movie isn't Runaway Bride, I don't want to watch it. It's really close to number 102. If a movie isn't Runaway Bride bride i don't want to watch it it's really cool number 102 if a movie is a runaway bride i don't want to watch it when i was a breakup starring jennifer aniston and vince vaughn when i was uh very young probably you know two um i remember thinking this is so

radical because like in spoiler in the last scene there, they no longer are together. And they, I think, like see each other on the street. And I was like, this is groundbreaking that this movie ended like this. Well, they truly break up. Yes, I mean, they didn't call it the breakup for nothing. I mean, no girl. No, they called it that because the movie sort of depicted a breakup between Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston. And actually, I also recently watched this movie. I don't know why, but it was on.

And I think it was on after Housewives, actually. And it takes them a long time to, like, get into the movie. The breakup? I mean, I truly haven't watched it since I was, like, 13, 14. But I remember, you know when you are like first like. Realizing you're gay. I mean, this is the premise of this podcast. First realizing, not just that, but realizing like.

Okay, he's been a guest before. I like good things. It's like when you watch The Hours and you're like, oh my fucking God. I had a moment like that with The Break breakup where I was like, this is sophisticated. Well, I think that's the sweetest spot when you can watch like absolute trash and think it's smart. Like I remember watching Final Destination

and being like, oh my God, this movie is so smart and so edgy. And this movie is like a book. This movie is- Liter book. This movie is literature. I went into my AP comp class and called the show lost literature. Well, that was the age. That was the age,

like 10th and 11th grade. You were looking at everything in terms of like symbolism and everything was complete. Like I was watching Grey's anatomy being like oh my god on the pilot this foreshadows that i was just like i was thinking like the most that was me with desperate housewives oh my god major oh my god every every episode title is a sondheim song it's like yeah like it was so easy to like lay layer on meeting onto that show to trick kids into thinking one where she where like

Laurie Metcalf is like in the supermarket do you know what I'm talking about? Oh you mean the episode Bang? Bang. The iconic episode Bang a masterpiece of Laurie Metcalf holds up a grocery store yeah. Laurie Metcalf holding up a grocery store. And kills Kirsten Warren sorry?

She kills Kirsten Warren, which is the name of the actress that plays the woman who dies in the episode. Yes, correct. Also, you know, Dana Delaney. Dana.

No one can say Dana Delaney was not in Death for the Housewives. No one can say she wasn't. No, she was in it multiple times. And you know how her character left the show?

Sudden lesbianism. Well, that can be deadly. For her character it was. For her check it was. I do also remember when they were... I remember also when one season ended with just a fire that burned the entire Wisteria Lane. Okay, ready?

What is everyone's favorite disaster episode of a shitty soap,-unquote shitty soap show to remind you go sam uh the gray's anatomy episode where there's the bomb in the guy code black in the guy's heart or something code black yes yeah yeah at the end of the world as we know it yeah christina rachie comes in holding a bomb in someone's chest. And, um, yes, yes. This is the Superbowl episode. Isn't that right?

Bowen Yang. This is the Superbowl episode. Um, it was, um, I think it was the highest rated Grey's Anatomy episode ever. And I think I, I,

I watched it again the other, the other week. And I think it is great television. I think it's really well written. It's, it's, it's really good. I mean,

my instinct was to say, this is not's really good. My instinct was to say this is not a disaster, but my instinct was to say the Grey's Anatomy episode where they where the pole is going through two different people. And to you like a train, season two. Wait, Matt, do you really remember all these? Like the titles?

I do actually remember The End of the World as we know it as a title. Yes, that was the Code Black episode. Two-parter. It's the end of the world as we know it. As we know it. You guys are crazy. But I stopped watching Grey's after, I guess, season four. It must have been.

I think I made it through season six. The episode that really upset me was the shooting episode. Shooting episode. Yeah, that was really intense. Well, they was that was really intense. Well, they graphically killed many characters that were series regulars

out of nowhere. And I think the point Mandy Moore I think they oh no, they didn't. They didn't kill Mandy Moore. Wait, I'm sorry. There was a shooting

in Seattle Grey's Hospital? Yes. Oh, that's too much. I don't like that. I think the season before there was a plane crash that most of them were on and that's how Lexi dies and Mark Sloan.

The plane crash was after the shooting, unfortunately. After the shooting. I think that my favorite insane moment on one of those shows had to be the tornado on Wisteria Lane.

Oh, you're right. Oh, sure sure you had roger sterling get impaled by a picket fence yes conveniently john slattery was evil angoria's husband on the show and he was like blackmailing her or something or like she was gonna go to jail or something because of something he was doing and he took a white picket fence through the chest. Come on, symbolism. Suburbia will kill you.

That's why it's literature so much. He's done a lot. He's done very, very, very good things. And I think consistently good. I'll tell you what else he can do. I was expecting you to say,

and very, very bad things. No, I was about to say that, but I don't think he has. No, memorable little guest roles or recurring guest roles and a lot of good stuff. Yes. Like him as the politician in 30 Rock. Or yeah, was that 30 Rock?

Yeah. Where he's like the blue collar politician. He wears the diaper. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's in a lot of good stuff. I would let him gnaw on me. Oh, I would. Yes. Preemptively, I would yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's in a lot of good stuff. I would let him gnaw on me. Oh, I would.

Yes. Preemptively, I would just commit suicide. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Bowen, would you let him murder you in any form? I would let him. Tickle you?

Tickle you? Little tickles? Little tickles? Sometimes. I would let him shoot a little crossbow and have the arrow graze my shoulder. I thought you were going to say shit on my face. That is so gorgeous. No, no, no.

I'd let him shoot a crossbow and shit on my face. Yes. No thanks, poop. No thanks, poop. Gotta say it. No thanks, poop. And I deal with assholes all the time. Oh, honey.

Oh, honey. Oh, my goodness. Honey. Are you guys using these like, like, like these like crotch deodorants and like ball toners and stuff? No, no, no, no, no. We're, I mean, well, first of all,

we should say that we've been sent some stuff and there's an ad that we'll probably get to later on this. Oh, sorry. Is's not an ad. Is this SpawnCon right now? I actually am wearing some right now. Whenever my balls are stinky as hell, I use ball toner.

But I bought, separately went to Pure For Men and bought the fiber pills, which do not work on me. Wait, we don't use Pure For Men power users. make that three wait you know who swears I don't need it I'm like clean all the time

clean as a whistle feels like velvet I mean I think pure ferment is this true but is it that you're supposed to take one gigantic shit every day and that's it Joel swears by it it's supposed to be one giant shit every day and that's it? Joel swears by it.

It's supposed to be one giant shit. Sure, I'll share this about myself. I take one shit every morning. And that's it? That's it. I'm taking four a day total, right? Yes. And I'm taking one big shit in the morning and then I'm taking like three cauldron ones later on in the day.

Poisonous shit. did you just start taking no i've had it for like a month now okay yeah i had weird i had a weird thing with um i started prep and then that was too much for me and i and i saw did anyone here when they started prep get a little sick in the beginning that's what i'm saying i did i did but then i was also like going through a separate minor and non-not important surgery so i was like i can't be all sick and doing something else so i just stopped i forgot what i was gonna say but um generally i was gonna say that i tried pure for men i'm still taking it but i was taking it for like a month and it was kind of working. And then I stopped, got deeply constipated. And then I started again and I'm like still on that journey of trying to like regulate again. And it's not like working perfectly.

I took it for a full calendar year with no bottoming in my life just as a fiber supplement. That's nice. I mean, is this fun to hear about? That's always what I wonder when we talk about our holes in our plan. Oh no, they love it. They love it. talk about our holes in our phone. Please write in. Oh, no, they love it. They love it. And I really like talking about it. Please write in.

I actually kind of want to say right now that, Bowen, have you used your ball stuff that they sent you? I have. I'm willing to use it right now. On the cam? As in right now? I kind of want to, like, try it out now live. Go.

Go, go, go. I'm going to get my stuff. Wow, this really is SponCon. Talk about having butt sex and stuff so this is this it is just like ball ball cologne explain so it is a spray it's not like a i don't know a powder or a balm or something it's a spray and then there's um like basically a cream a lotion that's just safe for your scrotum safe, I guess. I don't know. What about your skin down there?

It's less or more perfumed. I don't know. Okay, so Matt has the bottle. Matt's back with the bottle and he's spraying it. So what we have here is we have ball deodorant and we have ball toner refreshing ball toner matt i have to say there are so many of your listeners are currently jerking it to you explaining this process george is right i can feel them i'm taking i'm taking my pants off you can't see it okay oh my god okay this is history and that's history right here so what

do i use first the toner or the deodorant? Deodorant is more of like a moisturizer that you can just like rub. Okay. So got it, got it, got it. So this is like a. I can't believe this is happening. Like a gel. I feel like I'm on like Howard Stern.

This is very Joe Rogan. Yeah. It's very Howard Stern. What is the machine on Howard Stern that like. What does he have like a fart gun or something? Like the sex machine. No, there's like a sex machine. Yeah, we need to do something like really messed up. I'm putting it in my hand.

How much is he supposed to use? I can't confirm he's using it. Oh my God. I'm a little incredulous. I'm rubbing it on my... This is like... Oh, I mean, this is weird. it's been this is weird it's been a while since i've been on this podcast and i don't really know like what turns you've taken

we i thought sam and i were gonna come in and kind of like bring a kooky fun energy and like disrupt things but i did not expect to be the conservative one no i'm like i'm like everyone stop this feels so great i actually you know i going to break character and say, I don't, you're making me uncomfortable. That's not breaking character for you, prude ass. Oh my God. Stop. We're there. This is all going.

This is all escalating too quickly. Okay. I have to say something. Everyone feels so comfortable calling me prude. This feels unbelievable. It feels amazing. No, he's just doing the ad Matt stop doing the ad this is disgusting

you guys love my balls every single one of you has thought about it perfect in every way what? I said as much as this product seems perfect in every way and I would love it if you sent me some so I can also try it in the privacy of my own home I still happen to think

this is inappropriate for the podcast. Here's what I will say. I am anti-deodorant in general. And the last thing we need is more deodorant. I don't need to be deodorizing other parts of my body. I can't even deodorize what I have and I don't want to. Why are you this? Because I think it's fine like it doesn't smell

that bad it's fine gonna use the toner this is a an area where i disagree with sam because i if i don't wear deodorant i smell so bad within truly like 30 minutes yeah but it's it's sam is like making this sort of rule that's not not a rule, but Sam is being like, I'm anti-deodorant because I like it when people smell bad, but it, it feels very sort of like, it goes against respect, like, like sort of olfactory respectability. Yes, exactly. But yeah, but it's like, I, I don't know that I agree with Sam either.

I don't want people to smell bad. I just want them to smell like plain. Like, I don't like a lot of like scents. I don't want people to smell bad. I just want them to smell like plain. Like, I don't like a lot of like scents. I like a man that smells really good. But wait, I feel like it's, if you just put on, if you put on an inoffensive, like, you know, Arm & Hammer deodorant,

you smell more plain than if you don't put anything on it and smell bad. That's true. That's true. That's true. Like, I'm not wearing a deodorant that's like, you know,

you know, I don't know. Can't think of a single scent as an example. If I'm being completely honest. Cookies and cream flavored. When I'm like around like, you know, like professional things, I do wear deodorant because I don't want to be upsetting to people. But I don't really like when you're having sex with someone and like they're like down by your balls i'll say it on this podcast if we're howard sterning it like it's allowed to smell like i mean while matt has his dick out and sometimes it should

smell like balls because that smell is kind of hot i don't know if see my thing is just like i i love the smell of men like i love the smell of like dick like, I love the smell of, like, dick. Like, I like it. But not nasty dick. Like, it shouldn't be... I don't know. All dick is nasty. All dick is nasty, sweetie. All dick is nasty.

And dick has nothing to say. I agree that I like the smell of a man. Absolutely speechless. I don't even like dick that much. To be honest with you, I'll get a man. Absolutely speechless. I don't even like dick that much, to be honest with you. I'll get real controversial here. Like, I don't love sucking dick. You've always said this. Have you said this always?

I've heard Matt say he's not a huge fan of dick. Well, that's what I say every day when I, instead of hello in the game show writer's room, I say, not a huge fan of dick still. Yeah, Sam and I, or Matt and and i excuse me were co-workers and he did walk in every day and say guys had some dick last night still not a fan no i just i don't know i i like ass and ass hole sorry sorry wow and that you like ass and asshole and you don't like dick i i don't like

sucking dick really not really you know you're one of the weirdest gay guys i've ever met i'm one of the weirdest gay guys wait but you know who's gay bowen bowen loves dick not really i don't love i don't love sucking it either I just want to say Sam and I both love dick. And if you guys love alienating to the Last Cold Teresa's community, then so be it. Come to Stradio Lab. You're all being like, oh, I'm gay. Oh, but I'm not like suit.

I don't love dick. Yes, you do. No, no. It's so true. It's so true. It's so true. It's my, it's my true experience. Like I'm gay.

I like men sexually. Dick could take it or leave it. Like whenever I get like a sent a dick photo, I'm always like, yeah, that's a dick. I'm never like looking at a dick. Like great.

Wait, since I also heard sent a dick back to the ad, always trying to plug it. I do want to say that I'm really happy that I did use Manscaped Reviver and Toner on my balls today. So did you use it on your balls and your shaft? It kind of like got everywhere. Okay. See, I think it's pretty cool to sort of decentralize like male sexuality from

sex organs. Does that make sense? Absolutely. Like that's, that's why I'm like, that's why I'm like, I don't, I don't,

I'm not obsessed with Dick. It depends on the Dick, but I'm not someone who's like, I got, I got, I gotta have Dick every time, you know? Sure.

I love a little eroticism. Yeah. I'm down for just, yeah, general male sexuality, but I'm not going to say I don't also like dick. Oh, baby girl. In my early 20s, when I was frotting my way around New York City, some of the best memories of my life. Not a whole lot.

Just because it was easy. It was not painful. Nowadays, you know, you get to your late 20s. You figure out sex. All of a sudden, it's stuff and holes every single time. People got to really figure it out. To be fair, I still haven't figured it out. You haven't?

I'm learning. I'm getting better every time. Really? Yeah, I think so. But this is the thing. Is'm getting better every time. Really? I think. Yeah, I think so. But this is the thing. Is that the four of us, I'm going to bring another element into this conversation. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

I don't know if I ever want to have sex with someone under the age of 27 ever again. Yeah, that's a good rule. Correct. Yeah, I'm not necessarily. No. Yeah. Just because. Unless they majored in it in college.

No. Yeah. Just because they majored in college. No. In sex. Yeah. Unless they like have like a Gallatin like situation where they like created their own major. A sex degree. Sex degree. I just want to say,

I actually believe the opposite to be. I do not want to have sex with someone with a sex degree. Anyone who, anyone who's personality. Not from the bedroom. Anyone, anyone who's like, what? I just love sex. And that's like for the bedroom. Anyone who's like, what?

I just love sex. And that's like your entire personality or people who are like into the sex positivity movement. Like there was like, when I was in college, there was like a sexual health resource center where they just like gave you free condoms

and then they wore like little buttons that said like pee after sex. And it was like some girl with blue hair and she was like, does this make you uncomfortable? I don't like that. In fact, I actually think oftentimes that is a sign that you are so repressed

that the only way you can deal with sex is by being like, by being like, get ready for me to say this word. Are you ready? Are you ready? Cock. And it's like, that's your whole.

George, you absolutely are. My God. No holds barred against like sex health workers. No, it needs to. No, I love sex health workers. What I don't like is, is girls with blue hair on college campuses who sell buttons that say,

yeah, so what? I'm a bottom. Yeah, my ass is an erogenous zone. Sure, sure. All right, everyone name your- I'm on my period and pregnant or whatever. But George, to be fair, you are the prude in the room.

So it just feels a little biased coming from you. Let me say something about my prudishness. My reputation for being prude is because I was in the same relationship for most of my 20s. So I kind of didn't explore as much as many of my friends during that time. But that does not mean I'm not, you know, incredibly horny all the time. Indiana Jones in the bedroom, hun. Cracking that whip. Wearing a hat.

Generally slaying. Yes, ask your question your running from big old balls bring it back what was this intervening period between these because i i let's just let's just sort of reveal if if that's okay that you are currently in a relationship i am that's right what was this intervening time between these two relationships like for you were you a whore no that's the thing and that is another it's like i was in this relationship then thank you bowen thank you bowen no okay i was very like it was a difficult breakup whore we kind of kept we kind of kept hooking up for like a year after it you did oh my god my God, I've been there, hun. Yes, we did. And that was, and it was, it's difficult for me.

I think I'm much better about it now, but I think it was difficult for me to separate emotions from sex. Yes, yes. And I think, and I honestly think that like, I mean, it was very serendipitous. I'm jealous of this. It was very serendipitous that I started dating my current boyfriend when I did,

because I would say like, it's not like i was looking for a relationship i was like it was the first i would say it had been a few months of me being very comfortable with being single i had hooked up with a few people and but sometimes you meet someone and you really like them and you're and you say and you say you know what i like this person you sure do um wait bowen to your point about not wanting to have sex with people uh before they're 27 or something yeah young people uh i feel like i've always been like as you know the james gandolfini thing i've had like a daddy thing i'm always like daddy's older men please please, please. But I'm kind of worried. Thank you. What happens when, like, when I am 40, is it going to flip? Like, I want to say, I obviously, at this point in my life,

don't want to have sex with people, like, under the age of 30. But will that change when I'm, like, 40? Will I, what's going to happen? It's hard for me to extrapolate for myself, definitely. But I want to, I'm generally going along the principle of, I want to have sex with someone who is evenly matched with me. And I feel like age is a big part of it. In terms of like experience.

Yes, you're right, Bowen. If I'm like fetishizing a young person when I'm 40, I'm fetishizing a 28 year old who's like mature for 28. Correct. Yeah. You at 40 want to fuck you now. I'm not into, I'm 29 first of all. First of all, get it straight. Whore. Do your research. I will never be into like a 19 year old. Like that

will never be my story. And you shouldn't be. And yes it's true, I shouldn't be. As someone who was 19 and lost their virginity to a 28 sorry, 29 year old, it's not great. Psychotic. I think that should be, well it's true I shouldn't be as someone who was 19 and lost their virginity to a 28 sorry 29 year old it's not great psychotic I think that should be well it's like it's good and then like it's loaded

I feel like this is a loaded discussion because you're like people have different experiences people are different maturity levels sometimes you know you know people will be like oh anyone was psychotic or if you're 19 and you're dating someone who's 22 that's grooming and you're like well you know not not always and but then sometimes you know sometimes

it can be and it's bad you know what sexually i'm really happy that at 19 i first had sex with someone who was older and knew what they were doing relationship wise it's weird like when a 19 year old is dating someone who's 30 like there's just there's unless unless everyone is like radically checking in with each other it's weird but sexually i was thrilled to have sex with someone sure they were doing the idea that i would when i was 18 like when i was in college i only hooked up with other people that went to my college. The idea that I would have sex with someone older who's like... I very much sought out older. Like when I was 27. But like when I was 21, I was like hooking up with like a 28-year-old

and felt like that was enough of a jump. But I guess when it's like more, that's actually not that big of a jump, but it also is weird. At the time it is. Because I think you do so much maturing between the ages of like 22 and 26 you know what i mean like that like those mid-20s are like such a you're such like a sea change in your life that yes i get thinking like i'm 21 and this 28 year old is a lot older i remember when i was 21 i was like sort of like hooking up on and off with someone who was 27 and i would consider him

old and he would always remind me that he was young. Well, that's psychotic too. Yeah. Well, he's in jail now. Well, mine's in LA, a prison of its own. It was OJ Simpson. I miss him. Okay, let's take a quick break and do Whitechap with

George and Sam. This fall on Bravo. It's time to turn up. Think you've seen it all? I don't think you've been a good friend to me lately. We're friends like that. Who needs enemies? You ain't seen nothing yet.

Cheers to being Germanic. With the Real Housewives of Potomac. Oh my gosh, can I take this in? It's going to be amazing. New York City. Everyone is a gossip. No's going to be amazing. New York City. Everyone is a gossip. No one gets a happier life. Salt Lake City.

We don't wear pastels, we wear fashion. And below deck sailing. You broke the rules and now you're here getting upset. Watch all new seasons on Bravo or stream it on City TV+. Let's have a real good time. I felt too seen. Um, dragged. Uh. I felt too seen. Dragged. I'm NK, and this is Basket Case.

So I basically had what back in the day they would call a nervous breakdown. I was crying and I was inconsolable. It was just very big, sudden swaps of different meds. What is wrong with me? Oh, look at you giving me therapy, girl. Finally, a show for the mentally ill girlies. On Basket Case, I talk to people about what happens when what we call mental health

is shaped by the conditions of the world we live in. Because if you haven't noticed, we are experiencing some kind of conditions that are pretty hard to live with. But if you struggle to cope, the society that created the conditions in the first place will tell you there's something wrong with you and it will call you a basket case. Listen to basket case every Tuesday on the I heart radio app, Apple podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. This week, Charlemagne, the God sits down with vice president Kamala Harris for a conversation you don't want to miss. The things that we want and are prepared to fight for won't happen if we're not active and if we don't participate. They tackle the big questions, politics, policy, and what's next for the country. Doesn't the Biden administration have to take some blame for the border, though? Charlemagne, first thing we dropped was a bill to fix the broken immigration system which

by the way trump did not fix when he was president don't miss this in-depth interview with charlemagne the god and vice president kamala harris only on the breakfast club catch the full interview now on the black effect podcast network iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts hey there my little creeps it's your favorite ghost host, Teresa. And guess what? Haunting is back, dropping October 22nd, just in time for spooky season. Now I know you've probably been

wandering the mortal plane, wondering when I'd be back to fill your ears with deliciously unsettling stories. Well, wonder no more, because we've got a ghoulishly good lineup ready for you. Let's just say things get a bit extra. We're talking spirits, demons, and the kind of supernatural chaos that'll make your Halloween season complete.

You know how much I love this time of year. It's the one time I'm actually on trend. So grab your pumpkin spice, dust off that Ouija board, just don't call me unless it's urgent, and tune in for new episodes every week. Remember, October 22nd, the veils are thin, the stories are spooky, and your favorite ghost host is back and badder than ever. Listen to Haunting starting on October 22nd on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

And we're back. We're so back. Oh, wow. Well, see, this is funny because we don't do breaks on our podcast, you know? Okay, unprofessionals. Unprofessional. Poor.

Poor. Poor. So you guys... Do we even have sponsors? We literally don't because we're like actually DIY and punk rock. Sorry we're DIY. Sorry we're an independent

DIY punk rock podcast. Bitch, I went on their podcast. They had me downloading that Googlecast or whatever the fuck it was. What was that? Zencaster. Yeah, fuck that. Zencaster. More like Zendaya. No. it's actually rule of culture number 50 zen caster more like zendaya what does that even mean shut up get out poor so basically you

saying um okay we're gonna take a break right now okay we're back from our break i mean i was so jarred okay i just want everyone to know that know at home, that's what's happening. That's what's happening. And there's smoke and mirrors in it to make it feel like there's a break. There was literally not a break. Let me tell you guys something. Here he goes. Here he goes.

Me and Matt, we're a little glimpse, baby, into your fucking future. Exactly. Because guess what? We were the scrappy little nobodies Anna Kendricks in the podcasting space. Two little gay boys. And now, look at us.

Bitch, we're Julia Fox. And Uncut Gems. What is she in after this? We are downtown it girls and we don't need, we don't need sponsors

to make us relevant. It'll be an organic We podcast for our soul. We podcast because we love the art. We're going to... Julia, let me tell you something. Steven Soderbergh reached out to her and said, I love you in Uncut Gems. We don't have...

And she's doing that movie now. What movie is that? Oh, did that just get announced? It got announced today? It got announced today, but I don't remember what it's called or what it's about. But it's got all these like... It's like these like... I mean, mean everyone on filmed everyone who has a fucking

letterboxd account is coming their diapers tonight i mean honey when are they i don't think so i don't think so honey letterboxd thank you thank you thank you thank you oh god i mean i'm glad that's all we'll say about it that's all so glad we can fucking agree for once. Oh my God. There is nothing worse than a self-styled film person. But then you have like, but then like certain people on Letterboxd are like, you know, you got your like Hari Neffs.

You like write these like 33 paragraph reviews. It's like a movie review app. Hari Neff was the last person i met before lockdown started wow what'd you guys do how did you march 12th you guys went to the spot it was the last i mean and you know now that i'm saying it it's like it was at a party so maybe the order was such that i then met one more person after but it was a party where i distinctly remember like that one of the last people i spoke to was her and i had more person after. But it was a party where I distinctly remember that one of the last people I spoke to was her

and I had never met her before. And it was like the last party I went to pre-lockdown. Do you think she's sort of hopping around town, going on interviews and being like, you know, the last person I met was actually George Severus? No, I think it had a much more profound effect on me than it did on her. I'll say. I bet she would never talk think it had a much more profound effect on me than it did on her. I'll say.

I bet she'd never talk about it on a podcast. But I have to say, and this is how I know she's a star, someone who actually is a famous podcaster, I won't say who, didn't recognize her. No, but you're honestly not far off. Wait, who'd you say? Michael Barber.

Didn't know who she was and said, oh, something, you know, she was with me. So maybe he was like, oh, are you a comedian or something? And then she says the sentence, I'm an actress. But it was the best line reading I've ever seen anyone. Just her saying the sentence, I'm an actress. I'm an actress. I'm an actress.

And there was so much there that was unsaid. It was like, A, I'm an actress. actress b you are a fool for not knowing yeah and c stupid remember this yeah yeah should i start doing that should we all start doing that i'm a podcaster like i don't know what well as long as we say it with conviction bow Bowen, are you nice to strangers? No. No. No, he's nice. I think Bowen is very nice.

I've been with Bowen when he's been recognized and he's very nice. He's very nice. But when someone crosses the line, Bowen will give them an icicle. He will give them an icicle. I'm very sensible and judicious about who I am rude to. Because it is like, it takes an effort for me to flip

a switch and be like, I'm going to be rude to this person because they deserve it. Because they justifiably should, I should make them feel bad. Like if you ever met Ramona Singer. Like if I ever met Ramona Singer, everyone tune in to watch what happens live I was a little awkward because there's a little bit of a lag when they do it on on Skype

now but it was very fun um I don't know if they cut it out I called Ramona Singer a white supremacist you did in front of Andy Cohen and Monique Sinners um okay sorry sorry George were we gonna say no I I the last time well one of the last times Bowen and I were together, both Bowen and I no longer smoke cigarettes, but we really wanted one and Bowen went and bought a pack. And someone approached him, you know, regardless of all of this and said hi and everything. And then as we were on our way out, he gave the rest of the pack to that person.

Oh, but that's because I, that was self-preserving because I was like, I, he gave the rest of the pack to that person. Oh, but that's because I... That was self-preserving because I was like, I shouldn't smoke the rest of these cigarettes. No, Bowen. It was because you're generous. Matt, now that you're a big HBO Max star, are you going to be nice or are you going to be mean? I'm always nice. I'm always too nice. Does it get you in trouble?

I'll say this no okay so there's no there's no excuse to not be very kind well I'm sold no I don't know no one recognizes me ever they will also like

I have no concept of like you know what in New York sometimes in la never because who cares well in la people are less likely to say something i think yeah because who cares true i don't know well because if i'm if i'm there then like probably like kristin bell is a foot away well you're always a foot away from kristin bell well kristin and i are very close and so basically we're always going everywhere away from Kristen Bell. Well, Kristen and I are very close. And so basically we're always going everywhere together. And so whenever I'm out, people are always like, Kristen,

oh my God, it's you. And she's always kind of like taking the brunt of that. But what I mean is like... Well, she always says, have you met Matt? She's so nice. And they all say, no. No, but apparently Angelina Jolie goes to my gelson's it's a supermarket chain in los angeles yeah but like that's what i mean it's like there's like huge stars everywhere like i know like i don't know i can't say that like literally like

greta was just here i was helping her with a self-tape and she like was like guess who my friend is on a date with right now and she said the name of a huge celebrity and i was like, guess who my friend is on a date with right now? And she said the name of a huge celebrity. And I was like, that's insane. That can just happen. I found out someone I know was consistently fucking. Oh my God. That's pretty good. That's hot.

I know. That's great. That's hot. Love that. Wow. I'll say the person that's on the date with this kid right now. Well, I mean, listen, that's on the date with this kid right now Well, I mean, listen I'm sorry to say A little, little slutty boy

Is he a slut? I mean, in my mind You guys were both there We were all there that night Yeah, he rolled to this party with these little 23 year old twinks And if he were on this podcast, he would not be saying, I'm never going to have sex with someone

under 27. He'd be saying, I'm currently hooking up with 23-year-old twinks. Yeah, if he was on here, if he was on here and then you guys said, you know, I don't want to have sex with anyone under 27, there would be suddenly radio silence and then it would be beep. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He would turn a little bit of, a little bright shade of

beet red. He would turn turnip red and he would say, I don't feel safe here. I would say this is not a medium for him. No. No, but I mean, unlike George Severus, once Matt would put the ball deodorant on his testicles, this person would be like, yes, please. I think.

Well, the reason that George reacted in the sort of adverse way that he did is because he secretly was very into it. George, is that true? He loves my balls, that George. George, you have to tell me if that's true. I mean, listen, Matt and I have a history. We do.

Have you guys hooked up? Okay, and George and I have a history. And George and Bono. Well, George and I have an history. And George and Bowen and I. But George and I have an un, sort of, it's just, our paths never crossed. Well, no, I think it's the same with Matt. I mean, I think it was longer. With Matt, it was one magical weekend when we were both in Canada. And we both told the same producer that we wanted to hook up with hook up and then with bowen it was um

i had i had like a sustained crush sustained well no listen it was like a you know for what it it was all revealed one night when we went to this like party and then like we were both drunk enough that we were just like we were just like oh yeah like i had a crush on you like when i first right and then it was very it was we very quickly were like oh yeah me too like we're like oh okay that's fun it felt very sad i mean it was a long time ago it was also just like it's it's weird to think about it now because it was i it was like when we first met and you were very charming and you still are and it was um you know it was like in fact during the time that i was going through that famous breakup but see maybe you weren't really available i would say

that is very true and i would actually he was not emotionally available me not making i would say me like not doing anything about that crush if i'm being generous with myself was both about me and also like out of respect to you, because it would not, I mean, I was not right. You know,

it would not have been cute. And thank you. What about Matt? What about with Matt? That was just like a, a magical weekend. Um, sort of like a before,

before sunrise kind of thing. But then there was a producer. It was, we met in the car on the way we're getting off the plane at jfl and i immediately knew i immediately knew he was gay and i was gay too i immediately knew i was gay and that's when you came out that was i came out that weekend it was a huge weekend for me um and no but we both said to the the one of the producers at jfl like what's their what's that person's deal i do want to say I was very I mean I wouldn't say very introverted but I was kind of you know this was I you were much more shy then

than you were now yes I was more shy I hadn't moved to New York yet every the whole thing it was my first big anything like literally before that my comment you know the things I had done were like comedy festivals in you know Austin you know like there was a lot going on that week that that JFL weekend there's always like a lot going on yes there was a lot going on and I was not it never occurred to me that we could have hooked up well you had a boyfriend that's right I did and so did I that's right wow so with separate lives. You know, I feel, and I feel that, you know,

Bowen is pretty public about his crush on Samuel. Oh, I mean, but we've, this is, this is again, this is like, we talk about the broad gaze as much as we talk about my unrequited feelings for Sam.

But these are, this is years ago. But I do want to say the one pair that doesn't have any history is Sam and Matt we never really went there well but also Sam and George well yes but what is our podcast

rather than a long long edging process well that's really hot whore oh my god that would be so crazy if the finale of Stradio Lab

was you guys telling each other that you were in love. Like out of nowhere. Yeah, it made no sense. We're aggressive to each other the whole time and then we figure out why. But Sam, why didn't you ever have a crush on me? Yeah, Sam. Am I not your type? Look, you're beautiful.

You know that. But you're not my type. Yeah. I wouldn't call myself a samuel type yeah sam sam is one of these people and i respect it so much in a way where whereas with other people i'm like oh that person has a type like their scope is so narrow but with sam i'm like it's such an aggr it's it's such an aggressive stance on this is the only type of person I'm sexually attracted to. And anyone who does not check these boxes has no chance.

It's paid dust. It's paid dust. I think it's toxic. And I wish it were not true. No, no, no. I think when you meet a straight guy who has a clear type, it's like, oh, that is so bad. But I can't help it it and it's what i like it's what it is i get it i've got very specific boxes i get it see i mean this is what this is

what a lot of people who are into bears are like i think it's such a specific it's one of the only healthy um i i you know i i'm not oh my god and preferences one of the only healthy fetishes am i am i the only one here who doesn't think i don't have a type wait sorry i want to take back that i said one of the only healthy fetishes all fetishes are healthy i meant one of the only healthy like preferences like that you said that i think it's much i i'm feel much more safe with someone who says i like bears than with someone who's like i like twinks yeah yeah that's like they feel like a hunter i also tried when i was like young i was like i'm gonna try to date like no like skinnies

did you say normal like non-bear men. Like people, I feel like my people, a lot of people. My people, a lot of people. And we're early 20s like I was are like of slimmer build and not of like bearish build. And that comes very easily to a 40 something. And like I was trying to date people who were like 23 and like skinny and it was like not clicking at all it just like was not hot at all i get it is this bad no no no don't worry i know i'm not offended anymore but it took until today and matt it's look look at it this way you know you in my eyes are 23 and skinny

thank you that's huge thanks aka disgusting trash unlovable the square the quadrant we have not crossed swords. No, we have not crossed swords. And that's actually fine. No. And that's fine. And that's okay. And that's healthy sometimes. Yeah. And I do think, you know, at this point it is too late.

The Real Housewives of New York City are back for another bite of the Big Apple. Look who it is. Joined by elite new friends. Rebecca Minkoff. Have you ever heard of her? But things could change in a New York Minute. She had this wild night and ended up getting pregnant by some other guy. What?

You've told her? Not today, Satan. Not today. The Real Housewives of New York City. All new Tuesdays at 9 on Bravo or stream it on City TV+. I felt too seen. Dragged. I'm N.K. and this is Basket Case.

So I basically had what back in the day they would call a nervous breakdown. I was crying and I was inconsolable. It was just very big sudden swaps of different meds. What is wrong with me? Oh, look at you giving me therapy, girl. Finally, a show for the mentally ill girlies. On Basket Case, I talk to people about what happens when what we call mental health is shaped by the conditions of the world we live in. Because if you haven't noticed, we are experiencing some kind of conditions that are pretty hard to live with. But if you struggle to cope,

the society that created the conditions in the first place will tell you there's something wrong with you and it will call you a basket case. Listen to basket case every Tuesday on the I heart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This week, Charlemagne Tha God sits down with Vice President Kamala Harris for a conversation you don't want to miss. The things that we want and are prepared to fight for won't happen if we're not active and if we don't participate. They tackle the big questions, politics, policy, and what's next for the country.

Doesn't the Biden administration have to take some blame for the border, though? Charlemagne, first thing we dropped was a bill to fix the broken immigration system, which, by the way, Trump did not fix when he was president. Don't miss this in-depth interview with Charlemagne Tha God and Vice President Kamala Harris, only on The Breakfast Club. Catch the full interview now on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, everybody. It's Matt Rogers. Back when I was a server, I was one bad day away from a huge

personal crisis. Thankfully, Giving Kitchen is here to serve those that serve us. Giving Kitchen is a nonprofit helping any food service worker who gets hurt, gets sick, loses a family member or their housing. That's giving relief. So when you or someone you know is in crisis, tell them to ask for help from Giving Kitchen by visiting givingkitchen.org slash help. That's givingkitchen.org slash H-E-L-P. Together, we are Giving Kitchen. We help food service workers. I want to put out there,

let's just denormalize like gay men befriending guys they've hooked up with. Like that's their way of making friends. I'm like, I don't do that. I have two, three people I've done that with. And I'm like, and this is a weird blurring of the lines to me already. Some men just seem to have

this as like a recruitment tool for their friendships. Or there's groups of gay friends and they're like, oh honey, we've all hooked up with everyone's hooked up with everyone. Remember Summer 08? I will say, I have a real thought about this though um yeah i i agree it's like it doesn't need to be one way or the other it's like friends or friends whatever um i think that

because when okay this is kind of weird my first friend that I ever made that was gay was also the person that I lost my virginity to. Therefore, I think that whenever I meet a gay person, it does go through the filter first of what do I feel for them sexually? And that's something that I have to like probably work out and thereup. But like it is, I think like that first gay relationship that you have

and the intricacies of that will sort of well let's i'll pose the question to the group do you feel that the first gay experience that you had whether this is a friend or a lover or whatever has dictated if you were to look back on your sort of gay friendship life anything about it oh my my shit's too dark so I'm not gonna I'm not gonna share um I'm wait say it one more time so yes well yeah wait what's the

what's the question sorry go ahead Matt you probably can ask it better than me George you're a lot smarter let me know if I understood it correctly has your first sexual experience influenced the way you process any new meeting any new gay man um and i and i would say for me i don't think so no because my my first sexual experience was like freshman year

of college with someone i felt was like way more experienced than I was, but was my age. He was like one of these people that had like been, I mean, and you know, this is his story to tell, but had been like hooking up with older people through high school in a way that in my mind, from my perspective, seemed like he knew what he was doing. It did not seem like, you know, anything darker than that. But I mean, who am I to say? But I felt like he was way more experienced, but was very accepting of the fact that i wasn't and i didn't feel like inadequate in any way um and in fact that was probably one of the healthier it's like i had worse way worse hookups like later in my life but i think i was lucky that

my first one was was good but I would say to your point Matt like I less so feel am I attracted to this person than the opposite like when I meet someone I'm like are they do they find me hideous like do they are what do they feel towards me oh I relate to that yeah I feel like it's hard for me to like i think part of my thing was like trying to date people who like there was like a closet i was driven by closetedness and so i was like okay who does no one know and like that kind of so i think i still it's hard for me to find friends attractive because like i'm like okay friends with them first and that like desexualizes it in a weird way

not always but there's something about that if we're doing Thayer on the pod and we are there's something to that you guys are charging us $225 after right and you're out of network

this is required for me and Bowen because the podcast is Because our charging is $225 after, right? And you're out of network. And we're out of network. This is required for me and Bowen because the podcast is becoming a therapy. So this actually was required training. No, actually, okay. I was going to say I'm in therapy and Matt is sort of dragging his heels in terms of going to therapy,

which I think he should go to like everyone else. You should go. But don't you think I'm doing an amazing job on myself? Have you ever done therapy? No, I haven't. You know what, Matt? I am actually thinking of stopping therapy, but this is a point to therapy because I think it helped me so much in the year to two years that I've done it that I actually feel, not to say that I'm fixed, but I actually think I'm okay now not having it for a period of time. Yeah.

Well, isn't that how it works? Well, it depends. I mean, there are people that, you know, consistently have therapy. Or isn't that a way it can work? Yeah. I mean, I think that's the way, to be honest, that was my goal with it. I, I, cause also it's a lot of money. I don't want to do it.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I have a low deductible, sweetie. So I'm so I'm in it. Well you know actually Bo and Yang did actually give me an ultimatum one time. He was like I was very upset with him while he was

smoking cigarettes and I said he has to stop and he said I'll stop when you go to therapy and it sounds like well it's not really a one to one but it is what he said. Sure it is. No it's not. Yeah physical health, mental health. The ancient Greeks said both are important.

Is that what they said? Yes. These two Greek queens are informing me of horror. We are Greek queens. I just think you should go. I know, I want to go. And honestly, can I ask you a question flat out? And can you be honest?

Uh-oh. To who? Go who the lie detector to you Bowen yeah have you actually not been smoking cigarettes I fallen off the wagon recently Bowen because you're back at work

this is something I have been struggling with like it really is one of those things where you're like my god if I hadn't just like wanted to seem cool when i was 16 i developed exactly it's it is the one thing where like i'm not if i ever meet young people i will not be in any other way like like there's no i'm not gonna if i ever meet young people i'm not gonna say anything about like school or what you should do or sex or drug but it like, just don't start smoking.

Don't smoke. Yeah. That's the one thing because it, it just. It's so, I'm currently doing a Nicorette gum. I might just, I hate, I don't, the, the, the nicotine things don't work on me. I might just go to like a hypnotist at this point. Yeah. Yeah.

Over Zoom. Do they work? I don't know. I think that that does work. And I think the Nicoret work? I don't know. I think that does work. I think the Nicorette... I think it worked for Pat. But Pat didn't smoke cigarettes. No, Pat didn't smoke cigarettes.

He literally started using the gum. Just using the gum. Pat's actually now starting smoking to quit the Nicorette gum. No, he isn't. Is that real? No. Wow, we haven't had Pat on in a fucking minute. And he's here tonight.

Guys, get up. We have to get her back. I haven't checked in with her about her chewing. But listen, whatever your vices, whatever your vices, I accept the three of you. Okay? Okay, that's nice. Okay. Okay. Well, it doesn the three of you. Okay? Oh. Okay. That's nice.

Okay. Okay. Well, it doesn't sound like you accept Bowen. No, I do. I accept him greatly. It hurts. It hurts. Also, I'll say this.

I don't care as much now that we're in COVID times and that the world is insane and Trump doesn't pay his taxes or whatever. It's just like I kind of don't really care if people are you know indulging and whatever have their pacifiers if bowen wants to smoke a cigarette to fucking feel more less stressed out and i know that there's a lot going on if he wants to smoke a cigarette whatever i'm not going to get on my fucking high horse and be like don't smoke cigarettes because maybe it's making him feel better for a minute. I wish it wasn't the

case, but I mean. It's not good ultimately. No, and you know that and so you'll make your own decisions about it, but you know how I feel. Yeah. Sam, what were you gonna say? Um, it has, the mood has passed. But bring back the mood. Bring back the mood.

You were gonna talk about bottoming? You wanna talk about how good it feels to have a penis in your butt that's really hard and it hits your prostate no it doesn't have to be that hard Jesus come on make it a little soft make it go easy for me give me a flaccid dick I don't like it when it's too hard

ouchy it's a little ouchy George wants that penis very hard it's too hard. Ouchy. It's a little ouchy. George wants that penis very hard. I want it to be hard. Listen, call me crazy, but I want it to be erect. Listen, George is a sex negative person that wants the dick

hard. I can't get over this person that George has invented, which is a girl with blue hair saying, get ready for me to say this word. I absolutely know who you're talking about. I 100% know who you're talking about. No, I know too. Oh yeah, I know her too.

Her name is Millie. Everyone knows who I'm talking about. And she, and let me tell you something else about, and I know I've been talking too much and now that i recognize that it's no longer a problem no no no no no no go i had a huge crush on someone this was my maybe sophomore junior year who was one of the people that worked at the sexual health resource center and so in order to literally have anything to talk

about with him because he was not you know the most interesting person he's now a doctor um i took this like one unit class that they offered on like sexual health even though i was i did not care at all yeah just to have something to talk about with him and this was a year-long thing and then it turns out he did not like me so maybe that's where my sex negativity comes from this girl with the blue hair that you have invented. I think she, if we're filling out this character a little, I also want to say she was in the theater group, but not the main one. She was in like the alternative theater group that like put on shows in like

the cafeteria as opposed to the theater. Yes. Yes. Exactly. Like, like, like unauthorized, like unauthorized colon bye-bye birdie and it's

like a little it's like bye-bye birdie but they say like they call each other like sluts and stuff it's british and they call each other slags yeah the difficult thing with her is that she ultimately does not have any talents or interests and so you this and so she has she's not real she's made up she has landed. She's not real. She's made up. She has landed on sex because it's something that's just provocative enough that it doesn't have to build on any other personality. Well, you know, it's really about her father. Well, sure.

But so is like theater. But she doesn't even have that. Yeah. Theater is about her father. I'm just saying for people that are into that. Yes. No, I'm like, I'm feeling some, I feel some empathy towards this girl, even though she's not real.

Because as we said, we all, we do all know this person. I have nothing but empathy for her. Well, the thing about this girl is that she is the girl who we were friends with in high school. But in college, there were people that we could actually be friends with. So we weren't friends with her anymore. Oh my God. She was a good ally in high my god she was a good ally in high school she was a great ally in high school she was one of the only people that like was pro-gay in in the year like 2006

she intrinsically knew you were a guy literally had a friend like this and her name was nikki and i remember her doctor i know this is one thing i have to say about her she was she was like my first first friend who she told me that she was bi and I lied and said that I was bi and this is truly fourth grade, fifth grade. I remember that her screen name, no, her email was

Gucci Nikki, like Gucci the brand, but it was spelled G-O-O-C-H-Y Nikki. Gucci Nikki. I think that's like knowing. It's a no it's kind of cool it's a head of its time it's a really queer way to spell gucci that's for sure and and i also want to say about this girl that is in we are now in college with her and and distancing ourselves from her

we are the villains in the in this story we are yeah we are bad because we get one ounce of like well actually i'm i know who i am now and we're out like she was there by our sides when we were in need and we immediately oh yeah we met one kind of cute gay guy named tyler who was on his way out to a club who had a fake id for us and we just left cory cory nicky millie in the dust okay this is not quite this is just an analog, like a grown-up analog in my own life only and no one else's,

so maybe you guys don't relate. But recently, I have unfollowed people who I worked at a day job with, specifically the bougie white women who didn't really care if I lived or died or only was aware that I existed once I didn't work there anymore I lived or died or only like sort of like caught when like only like was aware that I existed like once I didn't work there anymore right um and I feel like I feel like there's some like there's some analog to Corey here where I'm just like oh I don't you

guys like don't really like you guys aren't in my life anymore and I don't need to see your like trips to Maine and like I don't like that... Hey, every trip to Maine is beautiful. Every trip to Maine is beautiful. In these trying times, Maine is our only respite. Now more than ever, Maine. Now more than ever, Maine. Underdog for title of ep.

Underdog? That's not very often that you... You like something enough to be title of ep, but not quite enough to make it so it so well what people don't know what the readers don't know at home is whenever i say title of that we then have our producers our team they go and they check try to clear the title and so it doesn't always so it's fun it's it's really important to have an underdog or an alternate because sometimes we can't always get clearance i still remember that there was a title of it for my episode that I thought was going

to be the title and then it wasn't. Yeah. And it was Rhymes with Zendaya. Rhymes with Zendaya. Instead, it was My Big Frat Greek Culture. Exactly. Which I think is like a better title maybe for like a passerby of a podcast. But Rhymes with Zendaya, I think is much more in the voice of Las Quadras.

It's more George. And that's why on this episode, the underdog for title of that is Rhymes with Zendaya I think is much more in the voice of Las Quadras. It's more George. And that's why on this episode, the underdog for title of ep is rhymes with Zendaya. Yeah. And you know what? Zendaya was the underdog at the Emmys and she took home the statue. Wow. Underdogs can be beautiful too.

One of my most toxic traits is I was kind of sad for Jennifer Aniston for one second. Same. That's not toxic. I think actually, I mean, Zendaya's like technically the underdog, but like, Zendaya's like the cool one right now. It's like Jennifer Aniston needs to lose a little.

She needed the Emmy more than Zed. Yeah, absolutely. She's got an Emmy. I thought that for Sandra. I know I'm biased, but Sandra showed up on the Zoom, clapped when Zendaya won, like a beautiful like blm jacket um in korean and like she like just showed up and like was present and like i i i hope she i hope she gets her um gets her flower someday from the damn television academy yeah you know what i also thought was such a flex was like the celebrities who couldn't even

bother to get on zoom yes like meryl streep was not getting on zoom olivia coleman was not getting on zoom laura dern did not get on zoom cape planchette who was the star of mrs america did not get on zoom i think they probably called ahead and were like we're gonna win and they were like no girl sure sure. So don't waste Cate Blanchett's time. Cate Blanchett's not going to get on the Zoom and lose.

Who beat Cate Blanchett? Ms. Regina. Oh, well good, good, good. Oh, sure, sure, sure. That makes sense. You know what? This is the one thing I'll say about the Emmys.

I think the fact that the three things that won big, Watchmen, Schitt's Creek and Succession, like regardless of my personal feelings, I think all three of them

capture something about the moment. And I think they were the right, the correct winners. Yes. Despite the fact that there are certain people I'm sad lost. I think, you know, was the Schitt's Creek sweep a bit much? Sure. But I actually think it makes sense that those are the three big winners. Sure.

George, that was such a tasteful take. Such a positive, you know know sort of just sort of um you know it's i'm happy to be here and i'm i'm happy to see everyone else succeeding i i love that from you can i can i throw something out there while he was saying it he looked so beautiful he looked so beautiful while he was very beautiful I always look more beautiful when I'm being positive. Yeah. Kindness looks incredible on you. Thank you.

Yeah, you look stunning, babe. Well, enjoy it while it lasts, bitch. Oh my God, you're so ugly. You're so ugly now, whore. It's crazy. You went from stunning icon to whore ugly whore in a second. That's my comedy album is Stunning Icon to Whore Ugly. Watch as George Severus devolves over the course of an hour.

Stunning Icon to Whore Ugly is the title of that. Write it down. Yeah, it's from Justin to Kelly. Or I guess it would be Kelly to Justin. That movie was about texting. You ever think about that? What do you mean? I've never seen it. You've never seen it? I've never seen it either. I've never seen it either.

But I believe you when you say that it's about stunning icons. Well, that's what I believe. Literally, that's what the movie was. It was from Justin to Kelly. They would text each other. And that's the whole crux of the movie is the bitchy blonde friend who, of course was mean because she was

Ashley Tisdale well basically yes she like somehow gets one of their phone and sends a text that's to fuck them up and they fall for it and they she almost

gets her way that blonde bitch that's actually a really solid premise I'm gonna say amazing I like the simplicity of it yeah

George you're stunning this this warm kind take you're beautiful stunning icon you glow Alison Brie it's actually real culture number 49 you

glow Alison Brie Alison Brie I think it's time for I don't think so honey why do you want to end I know can we keep going? I'm kidding I'm mostly kidding you're supposed to write a sketch oh my god

what's it gonna be? pitch it to us babe UCB class can wait unbelievable Bowen's taking his 301 Joe Biden but he's gay. Oh my God, George. I would watch that sketch.

That is funny. I would absolutely watch that sketch. Me too, me too. Joe Biden, but he's gay. What kind of things would he say, you think, George? He'd say, sorry. Malarkey in my asshole. Malarkey, I'm just a hole.

Oh my God, amazing first beat. Sam, what would the second beat be? That's the only beat I had. That's the only Joe Biden bit I know is the malarkey. I think there's something where something about we have to do something with Dr. Jill. Maybe she's like, I'm a doctor.

That's how I can tell my husband's gay. He'd be like, yeah, I've got a stutter from sucking dick too much, apparently. You can get a stutter from that now. Yeah, he's like, I must be gay. I named my son Hunter. Oh my god. That old queen.

What, George? You look really obby right now. I picked Kamala because yes, queen. Yes! End of sketch. End of sketch. Live from New York. And she comes in and Maya Rudolph comes in playing Kamala

and she does a death drop. Lady Gaga comes in on Zoom and says, live from New York, it's kindness. It's my city, New York. Live from New York. I want to say, everyone, put your paws up. This is where I'm from. Put your paws up for Charlie Puth.

What if Lady Gaga was the host and she said, put your paws up for Charlie Puth? I would stan. I would stan S-T-A-N. I would S-T-A-N. That would be I. Put your paws up for Charlie Puth. That's title of F.

Title of F is paws up for Charlie Puth. Put your paws up for Charlie Puth. Bowen does have his paws up. I'll tell you what. He's got his finger in his butthole jacking off for Charlie Puth. You do, Bowen. It was for like a week. It was for like a week. Oh, you know what? I was doing that too. You both had your fingers in your assole jacking off for Charlie Puth. You do, Bowen. It was for like a week. It was for like a week.

Oh, you know what? I was doing that too. You both had your fingers in your assholes jerking off for Charlie Puth? We coordinated it. But now he's a little too like queer baity. I don't know. Like something about... I've taken a turn off of Charlie Puth Road. Yeah.

I'll tell you one thing. Charlie Puth Road was actually right next to Abbey Road. Yeah. I prefer him to that other, the Calvin Klein one with the cabello. You sound like a fucking father. First of all. Straight fucking father.

That's what you sound like. First of all. First straight fucking father. And his name is Shawn Mendes. Interesting you forget the POC. Iconic BIPOC. John Mendes. Interesting you forget the POC. Wait, is... Iconic BIPOC.

John Mendes. No. People who say... Phonate the letters B-I-P-O-C. BIPOC. Well, BIPOC, I'm like... I think it was Ayo Adebri on our podcast, in fact, who said BIPOC is the all-lives matter of acronyms. Yes, yes, ugh. I think it was Io Adebri on our podcast, in fact, who said BIPOC is the all-lives-matter of acronyms.

Yes, yes, absolutely. 100%. Is it time for I Don't Think So Honey or what? I think it's time. I have one. Do you have one, Matt? But it feels like you want to storm the floor and go first. No, no, no.

No, no, no. But I think we, let's just stick to the traditional order of things. Okay, I have one. Okay, so this is our segment. I Don't Think think so honey we take one minute to rail against something in culture this is matt rodgers i don't think so honey his time starts now i don't think so honey acres what are you how big are you stupid bitch acre i have been told that i like oh yes i have this many acres of land fuck you it How many miles is it, hon? How many feet?

Because now we can talk. I understand how much feet is. What is acres? I don't think so, honey, that I know. And also, not for nothing, but why are you talking like you're old timey, hon? It's the year of our Lord 2020. We say feet, inches, yards, even. 30 seconds.

Meters, if you want to get Europe listen acres no I don't think so many acres I don't think so many describing how much quote unquote land you have in acres literally what is an acre who can tell me and also not for nothing but A C R E 15 seconds you don't got no alibi

you ugly I can't even say this word it's not sacred it's acre and also get out of that word my five seconds get out of here acres more if i'm saying that i want to say acorn hello and that's one minute that's amazing that's one of your best hell yeah i don't get it hell yeah does anyone know what an acre is you i guess you quote unquote smart people. I once lived on a farm and we said we live on, it was on six acres. And I always, I could visualize that, but I actually don't know how big an acre is.

Was it a huge property? Like what is an acre? It was pretty big actually. Yes. And I similarly, my grandfather, before he passed in Greece, bought three acres like in the middle of nowhere. And it was his dream, like he wanted to cultivate the land. And that was, so I know what three acres looks like. Wow, how big is it?

Doesn't acre sound like, doesn't that sound like a food? It sounds like a snack or a cookie. Honey, yes. You know? It really does. I'll get the apricot acre. Acre. Yeah, oh oh my god that sounds delicious okay and someone's like it's actually

a cray so I just want to say like for once and for all no one could tell me what an acre was not here yeah that's true that's true but we can't say it no one can I mean I don't know this is our urban bias and we're being very anti real America didn't you hear me say I lived on a farm can i mean i don't know this is our urban bias and we're being very anti-real america

didn't you hear me say i lived on a farm well sam you live in bushwick that's a good point that's a really good farmland a smelly farm shut up pig sty fucker whore pig sty fucker whore smelly girl smelly smelly girl you're the smelly girl you put stink all over your balls and not a good stink oh yeah i've heard of you you smell like whole and you fuck when you fuck is disgusting matt i wish we could all do a smell test now that you've been wearing your ball deodorant for 30 minutes. I just want to make it very clear that my pants are still completely off. Is that true? Yes, hon.

Oh, well, you know, I'm actually only wearing boxers. Oh, my gosh. I'm covering myself up with a blanket because you have to be couth, but, you know, I'm nude. You have to be pooth. More like pooh.

Matt, as you were standing there with no pants during this recording, which of our voices made you most hard? Yes. What pressed up against the throw? And don't lie. We'll be able to tell. Yeah.

Well, here's the thing. I feel like Bowen's voice I hear all the time. And so it's... Numb to it. I'm sort of just like used to it sexually. You know what I mean? Of course. And,

um, you know, the, both of you have very sexual tones to your voice. Oh, wow. But I do think that you, but you guys both sound hot.

I'm going to, um, I'm going to go ahead and give it to Sam because we haven't explored that yet in our life. Oh, that's so nice. We haven't tickled yet. Sam, you are making me the hardest.

You get a leg up advantage in this week's challenge. You're not his relationship. Oh, that's so nice. We haven't tickled yet. Sam, you are making me the hardest. And just to reiterate, Sam is not interested. You're not his type. Yeah, definitely. Thank you for your support. However, I cannot reciprocate at this time. Okay, that's fine. I'm okay with it. This is Bowen Yang's I Don't Think So, Honey, if you can believe it or not. And I can

confirm that his well, let me get my thing up. Okay, his time starts now. I Don't Think his, well, let me get my thing up. Okay, his time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Lady Gaga abandoning the concept of kindness punks after the release of Stupid Love. There was no callback to it at any point in the Chromatica release cycle.

And we still have not heard one damn thing about what kindness punks are and do or think. And I want to know more about kindness punks are and do or think and i want to know more about kindness punks because i wanted to be one i when i first heard the term kindness punk i said i want to be that but now i don't know what that thing is i don't know what that is and lady gaga you have some defining to do instead of making all these videos about being hit by a car or something 9-1-1 your biggest enemy is you because you're not, no, your biggest enemy is me. Papa 911, please patch the line.

I think you need to explain what a kindness punk is because the people need to know more. It's what we need as a culture to be kindness punks. But again, who among you, this is like the acres question, who among you can tell me what a kindness punk is in

October of 2020? I need to know what it is because that's the only way we can heal. That's one minute. You know, while I agree, I had been waiting for Lady Gaga to explore the theme of trauma. You know, I feel like we haven't heard about that from her. I didn't know that was something she had experienced. Yeah, that was why I was excited to see the 911 video

because I just hadn't really heard her delve into that. But, Bowen, I do have to say, one, I appreciate you speaking truth to power. But two, I'm kind of was so thrilled that she didn't just keep saying kindness punks. I thought it was a smart move to be like, actually, I'm going to go and just leave that in the past. Sam is a Stan. Sam is a Stan more so than any of the Stan Twitter accounts. Yeah, that's actually true. I'm a stan more so than any of the like stan twitter accounts yeah i'm a bigger i'm a bigger gaga stan than sam is okay fight oh my god girls go for it bowen you have 30 seconds

right now i'm putting time on the clock to say why you were a bigger i think that bowen literally wants to go needs to work i i don't care ge George. I don't need your opinion. I really don't. And you look disgusting, honey. And you look ugly. Or ugly. You looked like an ugly whore when you said that. And you looked pretty hot

before earlier, but now you look ugly. So stop. Oh my God. Anyway, one acre is 43,560 square feet. Square feet. Okay, great. That feels like, that feels insane. We're not doing this.

We need to move on to other things. Bowling, attack Sam. Go. I'm sorry. Was the premise to attack Sam or to say how I am the biggest little monster? Talk about how you are a bigger Stan than Lady Gaga in relation to Sam.

Go. Okay, I was checking in on are a bigger stand than Lady Gaga in relation to Sam. Go. Okay. I was checking in on Gaga daily, the official Lady Gaga message boards every single day during the art pop era. When people were not on board, I was with her when she was at her lowest, at her worst. And I was still standing and still engaging in the conversation,

sweetie. So I will, I've been there for Gaga when she was at her lowest. I will be there for her when she is at her best. I watched the entire South by Southwest keynote speech where she was in a garbage bag and had white dreads. Sam is white. Okay.

So now, Sam, you now have to do the same thing towards Bowen and remember that he called you white. So it might be wise to say something about his race Bowen, I may not have been on the message boards and I may not be the encyclopedia of Gaga knowledge that you are, but I have heart and isn't that what loving Gaga

is all about? Because I have loved her since the beginning and I don't I don't check the message boards I'm not a researcher for Gaga Daily. I am a fan and a stan, and a stan is an emotional bond like one would have with the Lord, who I believe in, and who is Gaga, and my paws are up, and you are white too. Yes, it's important. Oh my God. He is white.

All right, well, George, who won? Listen. Perez Hilton. I really, I mean, I have to give it to my co-host, Sam Taggart. But I also have to say that I'm disappointed that he didn't bring up, since Bowen brought up South by Southwest, Sam should have brought up the vomit artist that, in fact, accompanied Lady Gaga at South by Southwest. And who is very important in Stratolab lore. And we have discussed her during multiple episodes, including the Bowen one. Including my episode.

We talked about her a lot. And we all stand the vomit artist equally. So Sam won this round, but Bowen could always know that I had a crush on him for multiple weeks. Well, that's a good opinion. That's why I asked for your opinion. And now I say Bowen won.

So thank you for your opinion when you said that. All right. So now it's going to be time actually for Bowen. Who should go first? George should go first. George. Okay, I have a very I have an improv-y one

are you ready yeah I'm very excited about that okay famed stand-up George Severus does an improv-y I don't think so

remember that remember who's in the chat famous improvisers Bowen Yang and Sam Tiger just saying they were both on their team they were both on their teams I just need a challenge

NYU and UVA heard of it? I've knocked out of the park every I Don't Think So Honey I've ever done. Yes, you have. You have. Okay. He really has.

Turn your phone on. And now for another grand slam. Yes. Here is George Tavares' I Don't Think So Honey. His time starts now. I Don't Think So Honey

Instagram. Oh! I think we have all seen enough. Get her, Jade. And to illustrate this, I'm going to improvise by going on Instagram on my phone right now

and doing live commentary on each post I see. Let's see which white people are sharing factually inaccurate graphics about voting. Okay, let's see. A gay person sharing a meme about Kim Cattrall. Stupid. That's our culture. Someone at the MoMA wearing a mask.

It's Natalie Walker and she actually looks gorgeous. 30 seconds. Oh, someone made a cartoon, but it's bad. A video on someone's Finsta of them cooking. Why would you make

an entirely new Instagram account? On the Finsta. Jade, get her. Okay, an advertisement for furniture I can't afford. Design within reach. 15 seconds. Where?

Oh, honey. Oh, my God. Get her, Jade. Okay, someone I don't like but Design within reach. 15 seconds. Where? Oh, honey. Oh, my God. Get her, Jade. Okay, someone I don't like, but got a writing job recently. Congrats. Oh, a character video from Lorelei. Five seconds.

I bet it's really funny, but I'm not going to listen to it now. And how much time do I have? And I just want to say, I don't think so, honey. Scientists. Where's the vaccine? Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Smart. Top of 911. You got her, Jade. You really did. Insta found dead. Top of 911. You got her, Jade. You really did. Insta found dead. Scientists found dead. Not found working hard enough.

That's for sure. Well, I've said what I have to say. You really do. You shut that down. Yeah. I just got a text from Instagram. Closed. Instagram closed.

You know, you're really, you're really onto something there, George, because who by a show of hands who feels good on Instagram not me okay no one raised their hands let's move on to Sam

I have to go oh my god that's your opinion okay so Sam Taggart this is your like millionth I don't think so honey I feel

and you sometimes do pull out like really real thinkers you know they're hit or miss honestly I'd say they're hit or miss they're big swings and sometimes you miss welcome to the club and his time starts now I don't think so honey my big fat ass

with it's little little hole it is a trap for potential suitors. They see that big, round, acre-wide ass, and they say, I'm going to put my little penis in that. And then when they try, oh, baby, I say, ouch, no, thank you. I actually can't. I'm actually really bad at that. Can we actually stop? I'm sorry.

I say, can you make it sound free? They say, no, this is how sex works works it's a hard dick in a hole and i just want to say this is some sort of mirage for men it's it's cruel what i do to them i present them with this luscious rump they want to gobble it up and yet they can't because the hole is too small it's like those butterflies that present as predators with the big eyes, but mine presents as something to fuck. And then you try

and you actually learn that you can't and it is some sort of trick and trap and I am sorry and I forgive you for trying. And that's one minute. Wow. Wow. I really relate. You have a small hole too? Oh, yes. Medically, for trying. And that's one minute. Wow. Wow. Wow. I really relate. You have a small hole too? Oh, yes.

Medically, for sure. So you, so Sam, you have a small hole. Bowen, you have a small hole? It's, it's, um, it's small. It's not medically. I don't know if I've gotten medically told that it's a small hole, but it feels, I identify as having a small hole. Okay. And George?

I would say mine's average. Yeah. Wow. Wow. All right. All right. This has been, I would say, electric. This was one of the most electric episodes.

It was like serious for a little, right? Like kind of scary. I liked the sequencing of this episode where it started out fun. I brought a weird question in where I was like, I'm the Sam and George is the Matt and then we argued about that. Then it got serious, but then it got really fun

and giggly and kooky at the end. I don't remember it being serious. It was serious. It was really serious. It was very serious gas lighters gaslighter big timer doing anything to get your ass hyper and we were making fun of the girl with blue hair and matt's over here unbelievable gaslighter big timer oh my god very good doing Big timer. Big timer. Oh my God. Very good. Doing anything

to get your I don't know that next word. Horror. This has been a wonderful episode of Las Culturistas. It really has. Please, please, reader,

listen to Stradio Lab, one of the best podcasts. It makes us laugh, so. It makes us laugh, so. It makes us laugh, so. They are really doing the work, the good work of booking guests outside of the Las Culturistas universe, and for that, we thank them,

and it really sort of expands my horizons as a listener. Yeah, it took them way too long to book us. That's not true. No, it did. Okay. It's book us. That's not true. No, it did. Okay. It's true for Matt. It's true for Matt. Okay, we close every episode with this song.

Gaslighter, big timer, doing anything. Do we sing along? Yeah, sing. I'm bad at that one. Do Papa 911. Do Papa 911, Sam. Go, Papa 9-1-1 Sam Go Sam No here we go No no no

I have a good one Go I was 23 He was 45 She was 35 I was 55 He was 57 A Texas girl You're small To listen to more of that, this is the best Lady Gaga album, Joanne.

I'm NK, and this is Basket Case. What is wrong with me? A show about the ways that mental illness is shaped by not just biology. Swaps of different meds. But by culture and society. By looking closely at the conditions that cause mental distress, I find out why so many of us are struggling to feel sane, what we can do about it, and why we should care.

Oh, look at you giving me therapy, girl. Listen to Basket Case every Tuesday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Bruce Bozzi. On my podcast, Table for Two, we have unforgettable lunch after unforgettable lunch with the best guests you could possibly ask for. People like Matt Bomer, Emma Roberts, and Colin Jost.

Did you say a Caesar salad with lobster? Yeah. Whoa. Our second season is airing right now, so you can catch up on our conversations that are intimate and often hilarious. Listen to Table for Two with Bruce Bozzi on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Joe Gatto. I'm Steve Byrne. We are two cool moms. We certainly are. And guess where we could find us now? Oh, I don't know. The I heart podcast network. That's right. We're an official I heart podcast and I'm super excited about it. I am too. I thought two cool moms was such a fun podcast, but now it's even more funner and cooler and heartier. That's right.

It's more I heartier. I knew it. Check your heart rate. We're here at I heart. Yeah. You can find us wherever you listen to your podcast or on the I heart radio app. Hey fam. I'm Simone Boyce. I'm Danielle Robay.

And we're the hosts of the bright side, the podcast from hello sunshine. That's guaranteed to light up your day. Check out our recent episode with Grammy award-winning rapper Eve on motherhood and the music industry. No, it's a great, amazing, beautiful thing. There's moms in all industries, very high stress industries that have kids all across this world. Why can't it be music as well? Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.