Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - "That Bish Is Fried" (w/ Alice Wetterlund)

Episode Date: August 21, 2019

This week Alice Wetterlund joins Matt and Bowen to talk about her upcoming special, "My Momma Is a Human and So Am I," the ride she'll design for Matt Rogers World, current pop icons, sex scenes, Barbie as culture, and more!MERCH! MERCH! GET YOUR LAS CULTURISTAS MERCH!https://www.teepublic.com/stores/las-culturistasCONNECT W/ LAS CULTURISTAS ON FACEBOOK & TWITTER for the best in "I Don't Think So, Honey" action, updates on live shows, conversations with the Las Culturistas community, and behind-the scenes photos/videos:www.facebook.com/lasculturistastwitter.com/lasculturistasLAS CULTURISTAS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST. LAS CULTURISTAS IS PRODUCED BY EMMA FOLEY.http://foreverdogproductions.com/fdpn/podcasts/las-culturistas Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Dog. Look, man. Where? Oh, I see. Wow. Bowen, look over there. Wow, is that? FOREVER! DOG! presence in it that our guest recoiled. I don't think it had any more or less amplification wattage than in the past. You want to talk about wattage? Wattage? I do, honey. Megan Thee Stallion. Speaking of wattage, Megan Thee Stallion. I'm obsessed. You only recently, I've been telling you for a while now, for a minute

like you gotta get into Megan. You know how I am when people tell, you know how I am, you know how I get, you know how I receive information when people tell me I have to do something know how I get you know how I receive information when people tell me I have to do something but that's I'm very hesitant we're telling you this because we know you'd love it and look lo and behold and lo and behold I'm actually really obsessed and the reason I'm obsessed with Megan Thee Stallion is for two reasons one now we can say hot girl summer yeah everyone's saying I like saying that that's something I like to say

and also as I was consuming the media, and I do have some media that I want to play. We've got media. I have the song Hot Girl by Megan Thee Stallion, and I'm going to play it, and then I want to discuss what we hear. Are we ready? Can I rap along?

No. Okay. No, you have to let the artist. As Sudi Green often tells me when I'm singing along with the radio, she'll reach over, hold my forearm and she'll say, let her. Let her. So why don't you let her. It's

actually rule of culture number 77. Let her. Yeah. Honestly, if there's a singer on the radio and she's doing her thing, let her. Let her. Okay, gays. Let her. Alright, so this is just a little piece that I really enjoy. A piece of media by Megan Thee Stallion. Here we go. By media artist.

Great. Here we go. So to recap. Let's just go through what we have here. The words are, all the hot girls make it pop, pop, pop. Bad bitches with the bag say, ah, yeah, yeah. I can't talk about no money. tell them, bah, bah, bah. And if you see a man hoe, tell a ha, ha, ha.

Now, here's my thesis about this. I wrote this. You did? I think I wrote this. Because only me would rhyme bye, bye, bye with ha, ha, ha. And ha, ha, ha would end the phrase. And also, this just sounds like me. I don't know.

Am I Megan? If you see a mad hoe, say, ah, yeah, ha, ha, ha. Tell a ha, ha. No, phrase. And also this just sounds like me. I don't know. Am I Megan? If you see a mad hoe, say, oh, ha ha ha. No, no, no, no, no, no. The text is bad bitches with the bag say, ah, yeah, yeah. If you can't talk about no money, tell him, bah, bah, bah. And if you see a mad hoe, tell her, ah, ha, ha, ha. Only you would write this and not a 24-year-old rapper from Houston who, you know.

I'm not taking anything away from her. This is not erasure. This is not what you're trying to make it. This is additive. We're adding to Megan Thee Stallion's narrative by saying that she spits Matt Rodgers rhymes. All I'm saying is I feel a kindred spirit with her. Absolutely. You two are very similar, actually.

Later on in the song, she says, bad attitude, but I'm cute, so you call me bae. actually later on in the song she says bad attitude but I'm cute so he call me bae I like that she says she has a bad attitude you still I think you still need to

oh I showed you the big ol' freak I showed you the big ol' freak music video what did you think amazing I think she's incredible and a star

I think she has Cardi B powers I think she's potential I think she's I think she's a different breed than Cardi well yeah I'm not saying

they're the same but I'm saying you haven't listened to Cash Shit yet oh my god Cash Shit's so good no cause what I do is whenever I get obsessed with someone

I listen to one song approximately 50,000 times and then I'm ready to move on to even one other song of theirs oh it's so great she does

she just she starts with the whole chorus is like a 16 line thing bar thing where she's like it starts with I can whole chorus is like a 16 line thing, bar thing, where she's like, it starts with, I can be fuck,

wit, no, you can touch this, ay. Like she just keeps doing like, verse, verse, verse,

huh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh,

eh. I love that it's relentlessly. So, so like sexual and powerful. Yeah, I fucking live. And, but what I mean when I say

it has Cardi B potential is, when I heard Bodak Yellow, I was like, this will be huge. Yeah, I fucking live. But what I mean when I say it has Cardi B potential is when I heard Bodak Yellow, I was like, this will be huge. And when I heard Hot Girl, am I really late on this? Not really. No, so I didn't find out about Megan Thee Stallion until like March, I would say, when Sam Jay at work was like, but when you would love Megan Thee Stallion, I was like, oh, who is she?

And she goes, you would love her to listen to Big Ol' Freak. And I was like, what a silly, silly title. And actually, ooh, I want to share this. This is kind of a weird, weird, gross story, but I'm going to share it. Okay, babe. I mean, look, it's up to you. So the week of Memorial Day, there's this fun little barbecue happening in Prospect Heights with one Anna Dresden inviting a bunch of people over.

And then I had just gotten into Megan's most recent album, recent release, Fever. Yes. She has a song on it called Cash It, as I mentioned. You mentioned that earlier. And I was trying to go off book. Just for like, I was like, this is going to be a big song in the summer. It's important to be off book. And I was just like walking out of the Prospect Park F train the seventh stop on the f train know it well and i was just like

lip-syncing like like trying like getting into the attitude of the song and just like yeah you were living the fantasy feeling the fantasy getting into the bars and feeling the fantasy as they say and then who should walk by me and stop me on the street then miss kate mckinnon and she's like what are you doing and i was like oh my god i was listening to this song called cash it by megan b stallion and and then kate's like tell me everything about her and i tell her i go she's this college student um in houston she's 24 years old she's amazing she is incredible and this is and i told kate I was like, she's going to be a big deal this summer.

And she was like, okay. Hot Girl Summer. And she was like, how often do you listen to rap? I go, very often. And that was Kate's reaction. She goes, wow. Megan Thee Stallion, I'll remember her. So, you know, Hot Girl Summer kicked off in that very moment. You are a hip-hop queen. I'm a hip-hop queen. Absolutely.

And I actually... Respect? I respect that and I see that because you know I like to write my own bars. You know I do. You know I write some nasty rap lyrics. That's actually a secret about me. That's a secret about you. The reason I bring up the barbecue is because Kate was going to this barbecue. Well that's great. And so we

were both on our way to this barbecue but Kate happened to see me on the streets. Wow. Just not silently. Feeling your fantasy. Feeling my fantasy. Feeling your Megan Thee Stallion fantasy. Absolutely. So, yes, I know that you love to write bars.

You are very good at writing bars. I love the bars you write. In fact, there's bars on the internet if you search. If you search. Not me rapping, but comedy. Oh, comedy. It's really important for white men to comedy rap. It's actually rule of culture number 10.

It's really important for white men to comedy rap. It's actually rule of culture number 10. It's really important for white men to comedy rap. Now, I really, really want to get into this discussion. Any discussion, really. Honey! Honey! Talk about feeling the fantasy! This guest has felt the fantasy. Can I tell you something?

Yes. It's very rare when you meet someone and you immediately feel the fantasy. It was an immediate feeling of the fantasy Can I say, we were on this person This guest's podcast Treks in the City And we didn't know this guest prior We did not know this guest

But it was an immediate family Well, I didn't know Yes, I had seen her on TV Oh, come on Silicon Valley fish Silicon Valley fish down. Her best friend's name is Cunty. I love that scene.

She's incredible. She has a special coming out on Amazon. It's called My Mama's a Human and So Am I. August 23rd. Out August 23rd. And I cannot wait to see it. Yeah. And I just love her so much.

Oh, she also hosts the Maisel Goys podcast recaps Miss Maisel they'll be back for season 3 when season 3 airs oh season 3 of Miss Maisel I just can't wait I just can't wait there were so many amazing twists and turns in the second season and I actually am excited to talk Maisel with our guests

and we're going to talk culture with our guests and at this time I'm going to stop referring to them as our guest and I'm going to actually culture with our guests. Absolutely. And at this time, I'm going to stop referring to them as our guest. And I'm going to actually just say what their name is in unison with my bitch, Bowen Yang. And this is the time. When you please welcome to the pod, Las Culturistas, Alice Wetterland. Boy. Boy.

Boy. Can't leave me so blue. And I'm just falling. You are what I need. I want to be with you. Okay, so hold on. We're getting Beyonce bars. Come on.

Spit. Now tell me why Beyonce's top of mind for you right now. Because when you guys are talking about Megan Thee Stallion being the song of the summer, I remember when the song Countdown came out. Oh, speak on it. the song of the summer i remember when the song countdown came out and that was the first time in my life speaking of culture that i ever somebody goes like that's gonna be the song of the summer yeah and i didn't even think about like there being a song of the summer i was like i don't know where i was in my fucking life yeah but i was like oh my god that's right like there'll

be a song that'll get played over and over again and it was for me anyway it was Countdown yeah I would agree there was a collective moment yeah you know

cause I think that came out like that actually came out like was it mid to the end of the summer

2011 but then it came in and it was like the hot song yes oh I remember Brooklyn was on fire when that song came out. Were you living in New York at that time?

I was. You were. I remember I was on the train at Coney Island when I first listened to that song. Wow. And where else would you rather be than Coney Island? When Beyonce comes on and now you go to Coney Island and the song that you pick out is XO. Because she famously did a music video there. Shopped a music video there.

You know, Beyonce said at the time when Countdown came out, she actually is on record as saying, the hipsters love Countdown. Oh, I love her so much for understanding. Yeah. Or she goes, I think she went, like, they recorded it and then she was like, I don't know how the song will do, but I think the hipsters will love it.

I think she predicted that the hipsters will love it. Countdown has a long fucking life. But it's universal. It's not just like a hipster niche thing. It's like everyone loves that song. It's just that it's not like the typical

danceable, you know, rinse and repeat kind of thing. It's got levels and stuff. So it's really theatrical. People like that. People love a song.

It's got a story. It's got a story. You need a story to tell. Yeah, absolutely. It's a story to tell. It's about a woman who's so in love in the summer. In the summer. In 10 different ways.

In all these ways. In all these ways. 10 is the main amount. Yeah. So can I ask you a question? Would you consider yourself a Beyonce fan slash even stan? Yeah, for sure. But it's almost like the kind of thing where it's a go without saying.

Of course. I'm not in the beehive. I'm not 13. I don't worry about her or how she's doing and then go on social media to make sure. But when I first started dating my boyfriend Garrett Lang,

Garrett Lang, he's a bass player in LA. Nobody knows him. He is on Twitter. He will not tell me what his handle is. He needs to open up. He is on Twitter. He will not tell me what his handle is. Oh my god. He needs to open up. He needs to open up. I was like, so we're just getting to know each other, but I want you to understand that I am a...

If you're somebody... And this was before Lemonade. You have to understand that Beyonce is not something that we can... Is it good? Is it not good? There's no going back and forth. If you have to understand that like Beyonce is not something that we can like, is it good? Is it not good? Like there's no like going back and forth.

Like if you have an opinion on Beyonce, that's like besides just like, yeah, she's obviously the greatest artist of all time. Like, you know, or of our time, right.

You need to keep it to yourself. Yeah. Don't, don't talk, just don't talk about it. Right. And actually, yeah,

something that we're not bridge. We're not going to cross and I'll find out. Yeah. But we'll just leave it alone. Because I feel like this is going somewhere. You are still dating him now. Yeah, I am. So then we can say he's either kept his mouth shut

or he really feels. We watched Homecoming together. Thank you. Huge. Thank you. Hot producer Emma is giving us some mugs of water. Hot producer Emma just gave us some mugs of water. We came up with the phrase foggy monocle

to describe a British man who like is watching Beyonce's homecoming. And it is so like, he's so horny from watching it that he's like, Ooh, yeah. Oh,

you know? And then his mom, his monocle gets a foggy monocle. And now it's a steampunk strip club in Portland. The foggy monocle. Actually, we have to add that to the cultural canon. The foggy monocle. The foggy monocle actually we have to add that to the cultural canon the foggy monocle the foggy monocle what an honor yeah that's actually huge

bitch i'm gonna say from now on he fogged up my monocle well now i maybe it could be a still like a uh an eatery yeah matt rogers in matt rogers the foggy monocle in that rogers land i have no problem putting that in my park. Absolutely. You know what? Is it Matt Rogers park? Well, it's actually Matt Rogers theme park. It's parks.

It's called Matt Rogers theme park. Because here's the thing. Like, it's so, I guess I have to explain it. Do you have somebody who's head of parks? As in like, in like succession? Well, yeah. Bowen Yang is going to actually make a lot of decisions for my parks. Bowen Yang is sort of like the Gale King of Matt Rodgers.

Somehow insulting. No, it's not because I'm the Gale King for your stuff. Oh, yes. So we exist in a world where I'm Oprah of my own world. Where Matt Rodgers is Oprah of his own world. So I'm Oprah and my role in Bowen is Mike Gale and Bowen is Oprah in his role and I'm his Gale. I have no plans

on opening a world though. You have to understand. Well, you have to understand this. Can I just say one thing and it's actually a rule of culture? You have to be the Oprah of your own life.

And that's actually rule of culture number 102. You have to be the Oprah of your own life. You must. It's not a negotiable situation. No, no, no, no, no, no. I mean, you can try

anything else, but eventually you're going to get into enough pain internally that you have to be your own Oprah. Access your own power because it's there, hun. So wait,

just back to what you were saying. So it has to be the Matt Rodgers theme park because I have my eyes on resort. I'm not just trying to open up an amusement park.

I want a resort. A sandals. You understand. So yeah, you get it. When I say sandals, it signifies that you understand. Did we specify the geographic location

of Matt Rodgers' theme park? You said Long Island. Well, actually, it is Long Island. The thing is, there's a part of the park that is Long Island. There's like an area that's Long Island. And you can get on the Fire Island Ferry. It's a really good attraction.

What if there was... No. What if you did, No, what if it was... Well, no. What if you did this instead of Soarin', but it was like a Long Island Railroad experience? Oh, the Long Island Railroad experience. Absolutely. That's amazing.

Have you spent any time on Long Island? Yes. Yeah. And you could have a special, like a quiet car experience that's like really immersive. Maybe it's like a deprivation. Yeah. And also it's like, wait, I have a really good idea. I actually have a really good idea.

Can I run this by you guys? Yeah. Because actually you're part of the park now too. Okay. Thank you. You actually make executive decisions about the park now. Thank you so much. Alice is on the board. I'm only hiring like people who work at the stands. Well, no, this is actually something I stole from Dollywood, but we won't do it here. But I did hear that at Dollywood, all the people that work at like the concessions are all like at least 90

and so they're giving you your change back and it's like why why is that because they're all dolly's cousins yeah in the world to be like to be like okay one please and they're like okay so the listeners i'm just shaking yeah i actually have to say that's different from my part i don't want to do that at your park no so i do have experience in like park ideas but i don't can i just say i'm no imagineer right here's the thing well not yet not yet you're right now you're coo you good with money okay yeah that's not coo but it actually is operations officer it's coup okay so wait can I just say

who works at my park yeah everyone that works at my park is either a gay teen or their friend Amanda that's who works at my park

I love that it's all teens and they're all either gays that are like pretty gay or or their friend Amanda

yes now do the Amandas have to have the Amandas have to be tethered to the gay teen who's working? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They have to be supportive and tethered. You have to be hired in tandem. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In a way. So basically, like, jobs that one person could do.

Yeah. It's like gays and Amandas do it together. Of course they do. Yeah. So, like, if you were to go buy Dippin' Dots. Just as a safety issue, especially with the ride. Exactly. We don't run the ride if just

Amanda's there or her friend is there. It's not the same. But the friend can be named anything. But actually, the friends, this is so sad, but the gays in my park only have roughly between one and four names. Chris, Ryan, Tyler, and Matt. They're all

named that. It's so sad. What is roughly between one and four names so it is a whites only situation no no no it's not I can't stress enough and also there's someone

who's on the board his name is Bowen Yang and he is of color and he is of color and he makes many decisions in the park yeah many colorful decisions

he brings culture I bring culture I love it would you like to design a ride for my park I bring culture to the park. I love it. Would you like to design a ride for my park? I would seriously love it. I've thought about it. Okay.

Yeah, I've thought about it. Okay, this is just a wild pitch, you know, and spitballing here. Just doing stuff at the wall. It's,

you know how like when you're in a water slide and it sucks because there's band-aids? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. What if the ride, it's not water, it's just band-aids oh what is the ride oh my god it's not water it's

just band-aids wow this is interesting so you're sliding on band-aids you know i don't you know what uh and i'm gonna wipe that clean because i don't like it for your part i'm actually thinking of it another for another park yeah what part what part does that belong in that's the um that's the aziz i'm sorry land Aziz I'm sorry land yeah I'm sorry it's an apology part that he has to make

when you go in the first 10 minutes or just apology no comedy it's just him kind of being like I'm sorry guys yeah he pays you

to get in right yeah because at first you have to take a slow pass yeah there's no fast passes

in that park it's all slow what they do in that park is they put a they put a tuxedo on you and they make you look really dapper. And then after you apologize, you take all that clothes off. You put on a gray distressed shirt. You sit on a stool and that's like an image change.

Like, oh, he's changed because he's sitting on a stool now and he's not wearing a blazer. Right. Yeah. So can I ask you a question? If you were to take your essence and make it into a vacation destination, can you describe that? Yeah, I can. Because that's a good way to get to know someone for all the listeners. It's probably like, yeah, it would be some kind of a theme park.

I would structure it around like a shopping adventure. Yeah, a shopping adventure. You you know but then an action sequence like if there was a way to make like a an action comedy but that was also clueless also you know like um she's that girl yeah type of thing where we've got for the pretty woman ride but it's like yes know I love action movies I want to be in an action movie so fucking bad so I'm all about like bows and arrows

and stuff like that and like you know really intense agility like I like I like those actual like obstacle courses

like I love those oh really you like to get physical but I like looking really good at the same time so it's like that's the whole thing it's like get dressed up as a different thing.

But the shopping experience is the big attraction. Well, this actually is a feature. Have you ever thought of writing just the girls think they're going shopping and it becomes action film? That's great. That's great. I think we should. I think we should write that down. We should put a pin in that.

Can you put a pin in that? Are you putting a pin in that? She shoves a pin into the screen. Well, I broke it. She actually destroyed the studio. No, shoving a pin in that. Emma, not in the socket. Not in the socket.

No, no, no, no. She's fried. She's all right. That bitch is fried. Now I... Another one bites the dust. Another one. Another producer.

A pile of dead producers in this fucking podcast. That bitch is fried. It's dangerous for them. Title of that? Title of that bitch is fried. We had to take out so much insurance. Yeah, well, the thing is, here's the deal. You also host a Forever Dog podcast.

Yeah, I do. So I know. Do you deal with hot producers in your studio? Yes, we have hot producers. Yeah. And it's great. It's like because they have personality. They really do. One of them is new and it's great it's like because they have personality they really do one of them is new

and she's like so hot and she's so not into any of the and I'm like oh that's perfect because like you're like a hot girl you're having a hot girl summer

she's on the phone all the time she doesn't care what we're doing and she doesn't we're like isn't this funny and she's like what it's like mad that we're talking to her you know

what's her name do you know her name I can't remember but I just call her Chloe Chloe probably it't remember. But I just call her Chloe, right? Chloe. Chloe. It's probably Chloe. I like to call her Chloe.

Yes. But here's the thing. I was so happy, honestly, that I got here and I was like, please, God, don't let it be a somebody's apartment. Do you know what I mean? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you do this podcast sometimes at somebody's apartment. Not that I wouldn't want to be in one of your spaces.

Of course. No, you wouldn't want to be in my space. What if it's... It smells like weed and cum. Yeah. What if it's like a UCB guy's apartment. Not that I wouldn't want to be in one of your spaces. Of course. No, you wouldn't want to be in my space. What if it's... It smells like weed and cum. Yeah, what if it's like a UCB guys apartment? Exactly. Not that you guys aren't

UCB guys, but you know what I'm saying. But I know what you said. I know what you're saying. Actually, speaking of UCB guys, have you been watching the debates? Have you been keeping up with the presidential race?

Yeah. Yes. So you have to listen to... James Domian has a podcast. Yes. Oh my God. I actually... I'm a huge fan.

Did you hear my Elizabeth Warren episode? No, I haven't listened to that one yet. I did Elizabeth Warren and we did, he was like, it'll probably be like, you know,

30 minutes or whatever. And I was like, great, great, great. It was an hour 15 of me as Elizabeth Warren talking to Bernie Sanders.

Oh, I cannot wait. Endless. I was like, can we please stop this? I want to go on there as Buttigieg. Or Ben Shapiro would be great. I was like, can we please stop this? I want to go on there as Buttigieg. Or Ben Shapiro would be great.

I would go on as Andrew Yang, probably. I want to go back really quick because we did put a pin in it. The movie idea where they go shopping. Yes, yes, yes. Shopping trip, right? Shopping trip. And I think it can be called shopping trip. It's the outlet mall.

It has to start at an outlet mall. You know, this is the Labor Day weekend sale, right? So it's going to get crazy either way. You know this. Stakes are high. But then it gets really crazy because there's a heist in the outlet mall. It has to start in an outlet mall. This is the Labor Day weekend sale. It's going to get crazy either way. But then it gets really crazy because there's a heist in the outlet mall. There's a nuclear site underneath it. Yes, I love that. Because you know what? You get a bunch of scenes in the factory

where they make the clothes. Because it's the factory outlet. And that's the roles that we play. We're the factory for people. We're downstairs. We're the foreman. We're actually quite nefarious. Let's set up a meeting to break the story on this.

I really want to get this going. I have time. Yeah. So I think it's probably you. I have time Wednesday 2022. Great. We love that.

Wednesday 2022. Emma, put a pin in that. Wednesday 2022. Put a pin in that. Who do you think should be in it? You, Veronica? Me.

Veronica. Yeah. Megan the Stallion. Megan the Stallion. I don't. it? You, Veronica? Me. Veronica. Yeah. Megan the Stallion. Megan the Stallion. I don't... Okay. No, I like that. Bowen.

Bowen. Matt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was thinking me. Tyler and Amanda. Tyler and Amanda. And Chloe. And Chloe.

I would love an appearance from a Christine Baranski. Oh, yeah. No. Christine Baranski should play... I think she should play the voice that comes over the loudspeakers that says, it's time to evacuate them all. Yes.

I think that should be her role. It's like, she's unseen, but you know it's her. But then at the very end, it's her all along or something like that. And then you're like, oh my God. And she turns around and she's like.

Wow, I love that. So did you see that movie Searching? No. With Jon Cho? Yes, yes with Jon Cho did I see that with you no I didn't see it because I was too afraid so what I do is whenever I don't want to see a movie but I'm interested I'll just look it up on spoiler websites so I'll have a vocabulary for the film

something about me spoiler alert for Searching if you haven't seen Searching you can hit the 15 ahead button right now turns out Debra Messing, you can hit the 15 ahead button right now. Turns out Debra Messing is the villain. But you know, and this would be very Debra Messing of Christine Baranski in this movie. The most disturbing part of that movie

is there's this moment where, so John Cho has this brother. John Cho, we should say a star and hot. A star and hot. John Cho has this brother. So the story is, John Cho's daughter goes missing. I'm going to look at this

and movie up because I need to see the poster. I have to talk about this because I can't believe this happened and I still haven't been thinking about it to this day. John Traur has a brother, there's a brother character

he's very close with and then the daughter's close with too and then for a second, you think Oh no. that there's this like incest storyline

where the daughter is fucking the uncle and you're like, and then as the audience, everyone was just like, wait, what? How long do they let that belief be held? For like five to 10 minutes.

Oh, that's a long time. And it's like too much time to sit with and be like, no, no, no, no, no. I would say five to 10 minutes is too long to let incest sit in the air. Absolutely. And that's actually real culture number 50. That was the notes about my last night night set.

Yes. Yeah, they said, hey, five to 10 minutes is actually too long to let incest sit in the air. Absolutely. And that's actually rule coach number 50. That was the notes about my last night night set. Yes. Yeah, they said, hey, five to ten minutes is actually too long to let incest sit in there. It's rule coach number 50. Five to ten minutes is too long

to let incest sit in there. And they only gave you a six minute set. Exactly. And you did ten minutes on incest. I just do have notes. That was you on Conan.

We saw you kept waving the light away and you were like, I have to do four minutes on my incest material. And they were like, but it's just sitting here. Do you know what I mean? It's like a tepid stench.

It's not going anywhere. It's just sitting. It's just sitting. Incest material doesn't really go anywhere. It just kind of sits with you. It does give you indigestion. How do you heighten? What are you going to do to heighten it? Can I say one thing about this shopping trip thing that I really like is do you think that they win and end the girls?

Or do you think that it ends in a shocking way? Well, what's most like real life? I mean, they come away having changed. But do they really win? Or do they realize the pieces they wanted all along were in their closet already? That's actually huge. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

So I think it could be two things. I think they could survive and live the experience. Survive. But they actually don't leave with anything from the mall. Right. So their initial goal of getting things from the mall, they did not achieve. But they do live.

And in a way, not getting anything from the mall was winning because they already have what they needed in their closet. I actually have a story pitch on this. Okay, go. So they go shopping at the Satlam Mall.

They want to buy all this new stuff. There's a big sale. Okay. The nuclear threat, they find out, I think the nuclear threat is the big central conflict

in that the girls have to dismantle this nuclear bomb. Yeah, that's the inciting incident. You find out the person who planted the nuclear bomb is Marie, that's the inciting incident. You find out the person who planted the nuclear bomb

is Marie Kondo. Because she wants to destroy every mall in America. She doesn't want people to buy shit anymore. But then the girls not only dismantle the bomb, but they convince Marie Kondo

to just come out from the dark side and join their cause, which is like, malls are good, malls are important. Marie Kondo, what they've learned is,

and then what the girls learn is like sort of a balanced morality where it's like we can shop for new things but not too much. We can't have this crazy consumerism that blinds us. And then we can also let go of the things that we don't need anymore. And Marie Kondo also meets them in the middle. So, okay. Notes, please, please. If it's Marie Kondo is the arbiter of,

like she's the, you know, behind the scenes villain. Yes. I think maybe it's more, she has the nuclear codes to the site. Because remember when in Bridesmaids, Melissa McCarthy was like all the nuclear, they're in a lot of malls. So I think the nuclear bomb is already there.

Yes. She just has the codes. Yeah. She gets the codes and then that's, you know, and so, but here's what I already there. Yes. She just has the codes. She gets the codes and then that's, you know, and so, but here's what I really want. Okay.

I don't want it to be four girls who have nothing to do with the government or espionage. No. I want one of them to be a spy

and that's how they got involved. Do you think that maybe the three of them get so sick of heist movies where it's like, well, what happened?

Just girls. Like they want a little bit of rub. Yes. So here's what I think. And tell me what you think about this. I think that it's a, I've always wanted to be in a movie

where this happened or in a life situation where this happened. Like shit goes down and one of your friends all of a sudden whips out like a weapon that they have licensed and they're

able to monitor the situation. And then in that moment, it's revealed to all the friends who thought they knew this person that they actually were CIA 007. So I think that stuff's really hard to, to just justify though. You know what I'm saying? You can justify anything with an imagination actually.

Okay. It's actually an imagination problem. It's actually an imagination problem that you're running into. I'm really worried about you. Yeah. It's actually an imagination problem. If you're coming up against that, I'm really worried about you. Yeah, it's actually an imagination issue that you have. So I think that it's for girls and then truly... I need you to get help. You need to seek treatment.

You need to get help. Listen to Seek Treatment Wednesdays and Fridays. What if there was a therapist that just helped you with your imagination? That's like a child psychiatrist. Honestly, I know. They famously do three a week. What if there was a therapist that just helped you with your imagination? Is that like a child psychiatrist? Yeah, honestly, I know a lot of people with that problem. Adults go to child psychiatrists? It's not a problem.

I do. I'm not going to apologize. I can't afford an adult therapist, a psychiatrist. Do you think this works? What? Like four girls going out to the mall, shit goes down, one of them all of a sudden whips out this knowledge. Maybe in a flashback that takes like five minutes we see their history.

This fall on Bravo. It's time to turn up. Think you've seen it all? one of them all of a sudden whips out this knowledge. Maybe in a flashback that one gets a happier life. Salt Lake City. We don't wear costumes. We wear fashion. And below deck sailing. You broke the rules. And now you're here getting upset. Watch all new seasons on Bravo or stream it on City TV+. Let's have a real good time. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski.

Guess what, folks? We're teammates again. And we're going to welcome you guys all to Dudes on Dudes. I'm a dude. You're a dude. And Dudes on Dudes. I'm a dude. You're a dude. And Dudes on Dudes is our brand new show. We're going to highlight players, peers, guys that we played against, legends from the past.

And we're just going to sit here and talk about them. And we'll get into the types of dudes. What kind of types of dudes are there, Gronk? We got studs, wizards. We got freaks. Or dudes, dude. We got dogs. Dogs.

We'll break down their games. We'll share some insider stories and determine what kind of dude each of these dudes are. Is Randy Moss a stud or a freak? Is Tom Brady a dog or a dudes dude? We're gonna find out Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the

NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I felt too seen. Dragged. I'm NK, and this is Basket Case. So I basically had what back in the day they would call a nervous breakdown. I was crying, and I was inconsolable.

It was just very big, sudden swaps of different meds. What is wrong with me? Oh, look at you giving me therapy, girl. Finally, a show for the mentally ill girlies. On Basket Case, I talk to people about what happens when what we call mental health is shaped by the conditions of the world we live in. Because if you haven't noticed, we are experiencing some kind of conditions that are pretty hard to live with. But if you struggle to cope, the society that created the conditions in the first place will tell you there's something wrong with you.

And it will call you a basket case. Listen to Basket Case every Tuesday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, friends. I'm Jessica Capshaw. And this is Camilla Luddington. And we have a new podcast, Call It What It Is. You may know us from Graceland Memorial, but did you know that we are actually besties in real life?

And as all besties do, we navigate the highs and lows of life together. And what does that look like? A thousand pep talks. A million I've got yous. Some very urgent I'm coming overs. Because, I don't know, let's face it, life can get even crazier than a season finale of Grey's Anatomy.

And now here we are, opening up the friendship circle. To you. Someone's cheating? We've got you on that. In-laws are in-lying? Let's get into it. Toxic friendship?

Air it out. We're on your side to help you with your concerns. Talk about ours. And every once in a while, bring on an awesome guest to get their take on the things that you bring us. While we may be unlicensed to advise, we're going to do it anyway. Listen to Call It What It Is on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Wait, can I tell you something? Yes.

You can tell us anything. Got three tickets to see The Cher Show because my father loves Cher. Is that why you didn't go? That's why I didn't go because of the blackout. And I go up to the Today Tix guy and I go, yeah, last name is Yang. And he like scrolls down his iPad. I see the name Helena York. She was supposed to go there, too, and I text her.

I was like, I'm supposed to be at the Cher show with you. And she goes, really? I heard my, she goes, my friend plays Sonny, and he says that they might have to cancel the show because of this blackout. Wow. Because first of all, so I was walking from Herald Square to the theater, to the Neil Simon Theater. Had to cut through Times Square and there was just like a billion fire trucks everywhere

I didn't know what was happening a crazy amount of people even for Times Square I was like something's going on something's wrong and then we got to the theater and then Helena's like

there's a blackout happening I was like what? anyway not that interesting of a story well here's the thing my dad actually texted me he said Bowen is taking his parents

to see the Cher show. And I said, yes, I know. And then that was it. I said, Bowen's dad? Love Cher. Love Cher. Against all odds. Against all odds.

Anyway, he missed out. There probably would have been a lot of gay moments that he would have been like, I don't know about that. Oh. I don't know. Yeah. Anyway. I don't know.

Cher is gay. And look, Cher is gay culture. Cher is gay culture. And the fact that your dad is embracing Cher, to me, means that there's an opening. There's a door that's open there. And it's Cher opening it. And it's Cher. I think my dad's going to come out.

Come on in. Rulan's gay. I think once Taylor Swift's new album comes out, he's going to come out of the closet. Taylor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift. What's your thoughts on Taylor Swift?

Because you have takes. That's what I fucking love about you. I love about Alice. You have fucking takes. What's your thoughts on Taylor Swift you have takes that's what I fucking love about you you have fucking takes what's your shit with Taylor Taylor well again a lot of times I feel like society has this thing where we'll pick like one

straggly white woman to be like you're the voice of all women now and they're always too young right or they're always without experience in the now. And they're always too young, right? Or they're always without experience in the spotlight. And then they're saying a bunch of bullshit

that doesn't make any, you know, and it's just like, don't, well, don't listen to her about everything. Yeah, right, right.

But the reason that she, but then she feels, now she feels very entitled to her position in the spotlight. And she's not entitled to her position in the spotlight.

She's extremely, you know, she's got a lot of hits, but she basic and it's just, to her position in the spotlight she's extremely you know she's got a lot of hits but she basic and it's just you know i i guess my my whole thing is like i think i want every white woman in hollywood to get better at taking criticism and better at absorbing the backlashes that they create it's just like this shouldn't be hard it should be part of your practice can i tell you who's really good at it who

Felicity Huffman what did she do her apology after the whole fucking like the whole college fiasco yeah I was like

she still is very like she's not she's very culpable of wrongdoing she's a criminalista but her apology I was like this is actually

a very well worded apology I thought that like it was a very earnest, genuine, I've done. When you compare it to Ms. Laughlin. Absolutely. Well, yeah. I mean, there's that.

But also, it's like, okay, that's kind of. Who's out doing trapeze in front of the fucking courthouse. I know, but I was like, my personal needle has been moved a little bit. My little needle has moved. So I'm like, oh, okay. I actually kind of understand Felicity a little bit more. I don't know.

Okay, so in our movie, comeback role. Yeah, I would say yes. I think she actually should play one of the girls. I think she should play 22. Yeah. I think it's literally us and Felicity Huffman, and no one acknowledges that she is not 22. It's just understood that we're all 22 year old girls.

That's the new thing. Age is the new frontier. Age is the new thing. She'll be the Rachel Dolezal of age. She can identify as 22. And I want young people to get offended about it. Yeah. No one see this. People will leave our movie

talking. They will. They'll be leaving our movie talking and arguing. They'll be leaving early talking. I want to figure out. Some of them movie talking. Yeah, they will. They'll be leaving our movie talking and arguing. They'll be leaving early talking. I want to figure out some of them for talking. They'll be kicked out depending if you're

at the Arclight that's what's going to happen. If you're at the Arclight then we'll kick you out for talking. I want to be able to figure out the most efficient way to offend young people

quote end quote. Like what would that look like to offend the youth? Like what does that mean? I see how you can offend old people by being like well old people are so stupid.

For young people, you're like that classic line. I'm older, I love that. Just calling young people stupid not gonna work. That's what I'm saying. No.

You have to be like, young people. I'll offend young people right now. Go. Do it. Your fucking taste in mainstream music

is whack. Oh, it is garbage. Billie Eilish being the number one superstar right now to me is a idea it's it's slow and dead but wake up like we like billy you don't speak for me i'll put a pin in you right now put a pin in that i'll put a pin in you as i live and breathe and you won't

yeah i don't like billy i don't like billy No. And I don't know what half of this shit is. So it's like I can't really weigh in. But every time I do hear a snippet or a clippet of radio right now. But is it young people's fault that radio sucks? I don't think it's their fault. I would say it's, can I give an academic response to this? I think the sort of like hopelessness of the world right now has us dead. And I think that we are emotionally dead.

So when Katy Perry comes out with, sorry, the fucking bop of the summer, which is never really over for me, which this, I'm sorry, but fool across from me, which is you Bowen says you quote, doesn't really get never really over. It's like, to me, it's like we were given an opportunity to, like, emotionally live out loud with a pop song. And we said, actually, no, we want to keep Billie Eilish on top of the charts. And I'm sorry, but what is it? Yeah. Billie Eilish? Yeah, what is it? Can you explain it to me? Can anyone?

It's just, it's like pure, it's production first. It's production forward. It's like, who needs that? It's like a Sofia Coppola movie. Sure, but it's like. Woo's like it's production first it's production forward it's like who needs that i know coppola movie sure but it's like i've talked i've talked to you about this just that that fucking that whole buzzfeed thing about how niche pop is like the only like pop that like resembles like 2010 katie perry kesha gaga rihanna back then rihanna like it's like it's now it's like the robins the carl jepsen's like the betty who's theanna like it's like now it's like the Robins the Carly Rae Jepsen's like the Betty Who's

the Kim Petras's it's like are you guys at home I just want to know quick question taking fucking notes yeah take fucking notes

imagine someone taking notes taking notes I know but it's like oh just so worried like Mo Frypacic saying that the Robin concert

was one of the first times she's ever been able to go to the bathroom unobstructed and that the line for the men's bathroom was longer it's like it's for gay men it's for gays I mean I was listen do you know Betty who

no that's why I said take notes Robin love it what was the other one you said Kim Petras no what was the second one after Robin Carly Rae Jepsen love Robin love Carly J and I was like Betty who here's the thing

with Betty who Betty who is like so fucking fun and such a fun pop star but she's niche and I think she remains niche

because if you really listen to her lyrics did I talk to you about this or was I talking to Joel maybe Joel maybe I was talking to him that's racist

no because I also was about to say it could have been Jared that I was talking to yeah or he could have been Joel Fleischman from Northern Exposure right he could have been Joel Fleischman from Northern Exposure. Right. I could have been talking about Joel and that's

actually erasure for you to say that. Yeah, that is erasure. I know many more than one Joel. It's actually rule of culture number six. I know many more than one Joel. Thank you. Joel's not the only one. Yeah. Joel won't talk to me right now because I told them there's Luanne in his chart. We sometimes do Real Housewives astrology charts one yeah joel won't talk to me right now because i told them there's luann in his chart we sometimes

do real housewives astrology astrology charts and i had i had to actually break the news to joel that there was lou in his chart and he has not dm and you're not speaking do you watch housewives in new york i don't okay great roni wait let me say one thing let me make a point about um betty who betty who clearly has an army of gay men putting her shit together because if you listen to her lyrics, it is like so weirdly unrequited love centric. Yeah. So strangely like longing and like, it's so specifically lyrically like applicable to like the gay or queer

experience that it's like, but it's clearly like she does it with an intense love for that. And she has like her backup dancers, like licking her thighs in a way that you're like oh those are gay men okay I have to listen to you it's so gay and there's nary a non-bop I mean

it's an army of bops for you to say what bitch that these backup dancers are licking her thigh as the brainchild of a gay man I don't know why that's so funny. Because you think about this. Some queer comes in, let's call it Betty, who's creative

director says, okay, you're gonna have two backup dancers and they're gonna come over during this part and this one's gonna get on his knees and lick your thigh, honey, and she's gonna say, great. And then the amount of straight men that would get that is zero.

It's like the straight men wouldn't get that is zero. It is zero. It's like the straight men wouldn't get, yeah. No, and also you're not going to have a straight male backup dancer come over to lick my thigh. No, that has to be a gay man. Yeah, I wouldn't want one to. I'd be like, I'm fucking working right now. Like, what are you doing? That has to be a sister.

Canceled, canceled. Canceled. Any straight man tries to lick my thigh you're cancelled stage four cancelled I think you you've over the course of this episode Matt

have really covered like the professional bookends for a gay man who a young gay teen will start working at Matt Rogers theme park yeah

and then we'll move up the ladder to being Betty Betty who's creative director yeah yeah yeah, what's going to happen is Betty Who is actually going to come to

the Matt Rogers theme park and she's going to say whatever's going on here, I want to be reflected on stage when I go out there. And so someone will step forward and say hi, I'm the creative director of this park. Yes. She'll do Matt Chella every year. She'll do Matt Chella every year. Actually, it'll be Betty Who, Kelly Clarkson, and

the cast of Glee. That's Matt Chella every year. Actually, it'll be Betty Who, Kelly Clarkson, and the cast of Glee. The cast of Glee. That's Matt Chella. Awesome. Amazing. The original. Do you ever do that thing on Spotify at the end of the year where it says, like, this is what you've been listening to all year?

No. Mine is humiliating. So embarrassing. Mine's bad. Mine's bad. I don't need that. No. I don't want to see that.

I don't want to see that. Let me tell you, you don't want to see that. I tell you you don't want to see that I've been listening to a lot of earth gang now I just see you're cool no I'm not I'm friends with you doy Travis is what it is because he's cool he goes in like what are you listening to you now and I'm like outcast from uh stanconia because I don't know any new music that's but like even stanconia is cool it is but there's like I listen to it because it's like the coolest thing that i can think of you know your coolest friend probably yeah he's pretty cool he's very and also i mean gorgeous he is insanely good looking yeah and i it's i was like it's gonna be hard to be friends with you

but then it wasn't because when you become friends with somebody and then it becomes like collegiate and familial well the thing is i find that you know when you have friends with somebody and then it becomes collegiate and familial. Well, the thing is I find that when you have genitals, they respond to stimuli. And then the thing is that does fade away. Story about genitals. And genitals responding to stimuli.

I'm working my way into becoming a prestige actress. With a fabulous ass. Really? And I want to do an action movie. my way into becoming a prestige actress with a fabulous ass really and I want to do action movies I want to do action movies so bad I work out constantly

I can deadlift 135 I have a lot of muscles my back is crazy in both ways it's muscular and it's fucked up anyway I have a ripped scoliosis back I have a ripped fucking sore And in both ways. Like it's muscular and it's fucked up. Anyway. I have a ripped scoliosis back. I have a ripped fucking sore.

Ripped scoliosis back. Honestly, front runner for title. It's bone spurs and muscle. Bone spurs and muscle. So I'm trying to do drama. And I keep auditioning for fucking Fear the Walking Dead. They've brought me like a billion times. Come on.

They want me in this fucking show for some reason. Yeah. Never get it. But then I got this other drama that's coming out on CBS All Access. I got a guest star. Okay. Two episodes of this show called Interrogation. Okay.

Which is next year coming out. Who's top line in that? Alexander Skarsgård. Come on. Peter Skarsgård. Now. Sorry, Peter Skarsgård. Oh, okay.

Fuck me later. Peter Skarsgård.arsgaard Peter Sarsgaard David Strathairn okay come on good night and good luck Andre Rojo bubbles from the wire okay fuck there's like three more ridiculous actors in it and I'm like and also

and my tits yeah right and so the guy your tits ass and back so I got it and they're like, but there's a nudity and simulated sex scene. Can you do it? And I was like, I was like,

Oh no. And then I was like, wait a minute. Like how intense. Hmm. And then I read the script again. I was like, you know what?

I need the money. I have a mortgage. So I put, I got the job and then I went out to do it. I filmed the Albuquerque. The guy that I'm playing opposite, he is not somebody that I had heard of really, but he is

an excellent actor. He's like a really, he's like, but here's the crazy thing. Drama actors just do drama acting. It's crazy. What the that is wild. It's not two ways. Isn't that wild? They just go and I'm like, you're all really doing this. Right. Like it's a thing to do.

Were they fun on set? I mean, like a person is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, it wasn't like we were, like, cutting up. I tried a hundred times to make him laugh, and it would be, like, 30% of the time he'd get it and be like, ha-ha. The rest of the time he'd be like, I'm in the mood,

you know, or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, this is so crazy and weird. Like, one of the scenes that we had to do was he was making breakfast for me. And for some reason it was shot really well. Like it's beautiful looking. But one of the, the, the, the director was like, I want the camera to pan up from the coffee being made. The toast is down. The eggs are getting flipped. And I come out and like, I've got a t-shirt on

and nothing else. And I like hug him from the back or whatever. And then we have to have like an emotional scene. Meanwhile, all this shit's going on. So it's like every time we'd come out, I'd be like, hey, it's okay. It's okay. And then it would be like toast pops up, you know. And I'm like dying. Because I'm like this is a Rube Goldberg breakfast machine happening behind you right now.

And I think it's the fucking funniest thing in the world. There was like ten people to be like coffee, toast. slip turn them off turn them on boom go and then like be dramatic and he's in it he's just like doesn't break at all and i'm like and i'm like listen i think uh like toast is like popping up and i'm just like this is the greatest thing that's ever happened wait okay so it seems like you did a sex scene. Wow. Yeah. Talk about that. And it was hat. Wow. I was like, oh, actually, this is awesome. I'm he was so hot. He's hot. But I was like, it was just like your body is like doing the sex motions and it's a new

person. So there's the novelty factor. Oh, tell me. I was like, let's go again. Like I was having the time of my life. I don't, I need to figure out for myself if I, but this is so interesting

that you're on this side of this, this debate is that some people are like, sex scenes are so impersonal, they're so bad, they're so humiliating,

but then there's the other side of it where it's just like, no, it's hot and I feel like I'm having sex with this person. Like, so you're in that camp, right?

It's like, yeah, and this is like the second time I've done, I did like an indie thing where it didn't get released, but I did a make-out scene with a guy who... Again, another guy who was very attractive, but I wasn't into him.

But it was like... But you trick your brain into thinking... We've talked about this before. It's just like any acting. The other thing, I was telling my boyfriend about this, and I was like, the crazy thing about sex acting is that when you're delivering a line in a certain certain way you want it to be real to the character and real to the story and also like seem genuine seem natural all this shit it's drama but with sex

yeah there's like two ways of being and you're also already acting when you're having normal sex right so it's like oh my god everybody's good at it wow so okay this is actually fascinating like i i forget who it was that was quoted this, but I was reading some interview with some actress and she was like, well,

in the sex scene, like I'm having sex as the character. I'm not having sex as me. And I'm like, now explain that. Like, I wonder if she's like

aggressive sexually as the character or like she's physically doing things that she wouldn't do. That to me is fascinating. Well, I would be two in my head

if I said something like, I'm having sex as the character, that's what I say during normal sex as well. The two ways of having sex that you're talking about are either you are loving it or it's terrible. Like, is that, is it like super binary like that? Maybe. Oh, yeah.

No, I mean, I'm just saying like, if you're into it, like, yeah, you can be having like a lackluster sex but there's a way of being like um you know i'm i'm it's so hot i'm so into it and then we're so in love yeah or it's like animalistic or whatever and we'd like hate it it's a hate but i feel like there's like maybe those two directions but it was just like oh this is easy and we had all these scenes we were making out and i was like i was so worried that it was going to be affected and weird. And then it wasn't at all. Because I'm like, yeah, when you're fucking in someone's face like this, it's very easy to be subtle.

Yeah. It's not hard. I've never had a make out scene. There's no scene where you're like, what are we going to do? Yay! Like, it's obvious what you are supposed to do. I've never had a make out scene with a man on camera. Have I?

I don't know. I've had my, I've had, I've had a make out scene with a man on camera. Have I? I don't know. I've had my, I've had, I've been, I've done one sex scene on camera and no one will ever see it and it was with Joel Kim Booster. Oh, right. Where he, he gave me oral sex. Oh, yeah. And I was like this. Oh, oh. Remember Joel?

I remember Joel. I remember Joel when I was like this. Oh, dad. Dad. Oh, dad. That's what I say on all my theme park. Oh, dad. This ride, it's the commercial,

we'll have you sing. Oh, dad. this ride it's the commercial we'll have you sing oh dad title of F oh title of F oh exclamation point dad

oh dad no dad that's me that's me during sex dad dad dad

oh so distracting it's so sad dad wait hold on do you have to ask the god damn question I know wait one last thing dad dad so distracting it's so sad dad wait hold on do you have to ask the goddamn question I know

wait one last thing I want to ask one last thing is drama harder than acting to you is drama harder than acting is drama harder

than acting is drama harder than acting why are you laughing title of episode is drama harder than acting write that down or i'll put a pin in you emma like oh dad oh dad is drama harder than comedy it's drama

okay is drama harder than comedy yes answer this it's so much easier i don't totally i don't believe that one hundo p it's easier absolutely i've seen actors who are award fucking oscar winning drama actors try to do a comedy and absolutely cannot do it they freak out on the other way the success rate very high oh yeah okay fine fine because everyone i think people have the assumption that it's easier to do comedy because it's like yuck yuck yuck but it's like and also so I think because of that public perception like their sort of expectations are lower and when a comedian

comes along and like is able to sit on camera and say words like a person they're like wow grounded never before seen Kristen Wiig can actually talk in her normal voice and it's like meanwhile like when drama actors come try to do comedy i mean you probably know from working at the snow and also like us all from working with people

that once they get a comedic script in their hand they're like okay um how do i what do i do i'm gonna look stupid if you don't have your own comedic timing and voice in real life why would you suddenly have that we all have our real life in real life though so we can all relate to that there you go but like if you can't if you don't have the funny bone you know and like people are like loose with it and that's the other thing like it's very loose you have

to trust yourself you have to have that don't think mentality yes don't think mentality hashtag upright citizens brigade and wait I just wanted to put a pin on it. And if you do it any other way, IOS doesn't work. IOS. Fuck IOS.

Wait, before we ask the question and then do it, I don't think so, honey. I have to say one thing about before I brought the presidential debates and I brought that up. Because, yes. Because Eric Swalwell, who's now dropped out of the race, reminds me of a UCB guy who I would have seen execute a second beat and it would be fine. And especially when he said, oh my God, he said like a joke in the first presidential debate.

I remember. It was, we're breaking up with Russia and making up with NATO. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he said it with the kind of look in his eyes where I was like,

you... You thought that was so funny. I was like, I took 201 with you. 100%. Yeah, 100%. Like a canned joke that you just...

I took 201 with Eric Swalwell and he dropped out of that class after the second week, too. It was too hard. 201's when it gets hard. 201's when it gets hard. It does, it gets real. It's any rule of culture number 49.

201's when it gets hard. Anyway, we have to ask Alice the question. Which is, Alice, what was the culture that made you say culture is for me? The formative culture, whether it was a book, a movie, a play, a TV show, a neighborhood you grew up in. What if it was Cardi B's baby, and it was that recent? Yes, culture. whether it was a book, a movie, a play, a TV show, a neighborhood you grew up in.

What if it was Cardi B's baby? And it was that recent. And you didn't have culture before. I mean, for a lot of people, I feel like it is. Definitely for culture herself. Absolutely. Culture's culture is her own culture. Well, when I was goddamn born and named. So I guess I'm

thinking of like when I was little and my mom was like very feminist like it was like growing up in a Christian household where you you know how you can only listen to like Christian rock

or whatever but my mom was like the feminist version of that so she was like no only Joan Armatrading you know or like only Tracy Chapman like the only music

we're listening to is Katie Lang today and like Joni Mitchell or whatever so I so there was a resistance to like that type of like like i was like oh i want to have fun you know so for me it was like my mom was furious but it was barbie i was like wow this i love barbie's culture and i haven't talked about barbie talked about barbie i've never talked about barbie on this show just like

you know and people didn't get this. It's not about her. It's not a human being, right? It's not like I'm like, oh, I need to look like Barbie. Are you fucking kidding me? No, Barbie needs to look like Barbie so she can fit in all these Barbie outfits. Exactly. And into her weird car. Yeah.

The thing about Barbie is she's also, you know, she has so many friends. Yeah. Yes. That it's also like you have to understand it's never about her. It's about the larger community of Barbies because the way you do Barbie is you buy about a hundred and how they all have different outfits. Yeah. And then it's more like, it's less like,

do you know what I'm saying? It's like, it's about, it's about creating a community of Barbies. And so that's the positive lesson. If you want to have a body positive Barbie and you want girls to be be for some reason looking at a body positive fine that's great do it yeah but do it the best they do it the barbie way have all the fucking clothes all the outfits sexy astronaut all this shit because they don't do it they're like here's your new doll and it's

like good it's got a green shirt i like i love it yeah when you find it's not a doll when you play barbies what would you do so So I would set them up in a, they worked in a store together and I would set up a, I was an only child, so I had a whole, this was my life. They would sit in a store

and then work the day, they'd work all day and then they would go home. This is Vanderpump Rules. Oh my God. And then they would go home after work and have dinner. So they'd live together or whatever.

They had a real nine to five. Yeah. They had, it was, there was like nine to five. Would they talk about their day? Yeah, they would.

And they would talk about like, you know, boys and whatever. Cause I was a kid, but I didn't understand like what, why people talked about boys. So I'd like go through the motions. Wow.

I used to do this very similar. I used to do that as well, but I would, I would create block. I would put my blocks together and I would play with power rangers and then they would have conversations with each other. But the way that I played Barbies was with my sister because she was the one that had the Barbies. So I would, of course, co-opt that and we would take all the Barbies, put them on the bed and we would play Titanic with the Barbies. So one by one, they would die by being thrown off the bed, which was, of course, the Titanic.

And the one that always lived was the one that was wearing this gorgeous little blue dress that was the same color as the heart of the ocean. And she was always the rose. Genius. Genius. If I may. Now, how would you play Barbies? So likewise likewise my sister was the one who had the dolls

we had the star of the pack was Aladdin we had an Aladdin doll and was he smaller than the Barbies of course the man

he was a little bit bigger actually and he was truly so fucking hot yeah yeah and but then we had we had our regular Barbies and it was

Barbie and Aladdin would get into fights because Barbie and Aladdin were having an affair. But Barbie was like, you need to tell Jasmine about us. You need to leave Jasmine for me. It was like truly my sister. So this white bitch was coming along. Yes.

She said, you have to leave her. You have to leave her. I feel like I played that same game. I remember my sister taking Barbie's hand and taking her hand up and slapping Aladdin across the face. It was like the woman was right in this situation. White bitch narrative. White bitch narrative.

Honestly, front runner for title of app. White bitch narrative. Yeah, white bitch narrative. I identify and I hate it. Yeah, I get it. Honestly, wow. You let a white bitch narrative play out in your play. Did you and I play the Barbie board game?

No. Oh my God. The Barbie board game is iconic where the goal was to be the queen of the prom. And you would have, and you had to have. The queen of the prom. Not prom queen. The queen of the prom. The queen of the prom.

It takes place in like the 50s and like mid-century where the three things where you had to go steady with someone. You had to like be class president. You had to go study with someone you had to like be class you had to like get a title and get slapped and get slapped

but it was this thing it was like it was a board game where you were feeling the fantasy of being Barbie in high school and it was like

truly like true the most problematic you could get but it was like for a little gay boy playing that game it's like

you're trying on mommy's clothes. It's so beautiful and informative actually. We've never talked about Barbie on this fucking show. We've never spoken about Barbie and can we all just say a few words about Barbie's automobiles that she has? Come on. Because she actually rides dirty in several different kinds of things.

She has a beautiful pink car which is I think her most famous mobile. And then I believe Barbie has even been known to get on a motorcycle. thing she has a beautiful pink car yes which is her i think her most famous mobile and then i believe barbie has even been known to get on a motorcycle uh for sure yeah she hot rod barbie hot rod i think it was like hot rod barbie oh my god is that a barbie boat i love there is and i love that when barbie does a thing she becomes the like you know culture like i am hot rod barbie yeah or like i am science culture yeah yeah like like I am Science Barbie. She takes on like Hot Rod culture. Yeah, yeah.

Like when I'm doing, like it's like, today, like right now I'm Coffee Alice. Yeah, Coffee Alice. And then later on I'll be fucking Lunch Alice. Yeah, Lunch Alice.

I'm Podcast Alice right now. You're Podcast Alice. Podcast Barbie. Podcast Barbie. Oh my God. What's Barbie's podcast sound like? She's got a pink mic set up. Yeah.

And you know, it's like sparkling sounds and it's like, oh, welcome back. Today, my favorite shape is a circle. I guess she wouldn't be like, welcome back, though, because where were you before? Where were you before? It's a podcast. Well, what are Barbie's ads? Barbie's ads are for Casper.

Casper. Betterhealth.com. Me undies. Quip. Quora. Quora. Barbie does quip ads. Yeah. She's like, I sleep with my quip. dot com MeUndies Quip Cora Cora Barbie does quip ads yeah she's like

I sleep with my quip because it's her size and she's like it's a giant vibrating body pillow she's like honestly the best

this is the thing with Barbie Ken's out of town a lot Ken's out of town a lot Ken's gay actually this is the thing about Barbie is that

out of town a lot it's a euphemism for gay absolutely remember James Anderson SNL sketches Britney Spears and Amy Poehler playing Barbie in Skipper the thing about Barbie is that out of town a lot it's a euphemism for gay absolutely remember they remember James Anderson SNL sketches Britney Spears

and Amy Poehler playing Barbie and Skipper yes and then Chris Katan would come on as Ken and he just goes I'm going to Malibu don't call me

but Barbie is drag though Barbie is like putting on different hats and being like now I'm this now I'm this now I'm this yeah

it's truly beautiful Barbie is actually the most important drag figure of all time. Yes, I agree. Barbie started drag. And Barbie showed us that you're all born naked and the rest is drag. And when you get up in the morning and you put on your drag, and you are both in drag, you learn that from Barbie. And that was why Barbie is important

absolutely relationship with Barbie now? I mean no rear view mirror this is one of those is there going to be a Barbie movie? wasn't there going to be with Amy Schumer? I think it's happening still

it was definitely on the books I'm like so excited about that. Can you tell from my face? I want it to be like Glenn Close or something. That would be really fun. Amy, one of the Amys. What's the Amy? Sherman Palladino.

Amy Sherman Palladino. As Barbie. Finally hits the screen. She's meant for it. She is, absolutely. For the screen. We never talked about Maisel so

oh wait should we have a few words on Maisel well I mean you guys you wanted to bring it up so I'm not go

no I don't have anything specific Maisel now on the spot that's on the spot Maisel this actually is a new segment

it's called on the spot Maisel alright I watch Maisel I like Maisel I watch Maisel I'm not I'm not averse to watching Maisel am I excited thereel I like Maisel I watch Maisel I'm not I'm not averse

to watching Maisel am I excited there's a season 4 of course I'm excited but that's a really good really good Maisel I like

I'm a team Joel that's all I have to say team Joel you know in that last scene and this is going to be a spoiler for Maisel very similar to before our spoilers for Searching

you know in the last scene she says Rachel Brosnahan Debra Messing is the villain actually it. Debra Messing is the villain. Actually, it's Debra Messing is the villain of Maisel. Sorry. Rachel Brosnahan, who I want on the pod.

I would love her on the pod. And I've been saying this. Yes. She says, I want to be with someone who loves me. Yeah. And then they intensely kiss. Cut to black. Garoo!

Wait. So my thing with Joel is just like, if everybody's like joel's trash joel's trash and i'm like great maybe so guess who else is trash fucking mazel yeah mazel's oh yeah she sucks midge has trash elements yeah she's a fucking asp alpha female character she sucks there you go there's a lot going on so. So they belong together. I think they might belong together. I love them together. And he's obviously the Mr. Big. What's that actor's name? He's incredible and he... Michael Zegan. Yes.

And he came to the show when Braz hosted. So good looking in person. God, he's really hot. Yeah, he's real hot. He's one of those secret hotties that you look on television and you go, okay, TV actor. And then you look at them in real life and you're like, oh. Yeah.

Your genitals respond. Oh, dad. I go, it was just like me on set with Joel when we did our sex scene. Oh, dad. I think it's time. Dad. Dad. I think it's time.

I think it's time for I Don't Think So, Honey. It's time for I Don't Think So, Honey. And if you're curious about what I Don't Think So, Honey is, what I Don't Think So, Honey is is we take one minute to rail against something in culture that we don't like. And if you'd like to see this happen live, you're actually in luck because we are going on the road. We're going to be in Atlanta on August 7th, Orlando on August 8th, Denver on August 22nd? 22nd? Chicago on the 23rd? No, no, no.

This is wrong. We're going to be in Atlanta, Orlando, Denver, and Chicago throughout the month of August. You can get tickets. I'm definitely putting them on my Instagram. Yes. So get tickets there. We'll have it on the forever.website,

and I'm going to encourage Bowen Yang to put them on his Instagram as well. I will put them on mine. And also, we're also going to be back at the Bell House in Brooklyn on September 21st. Very excited about all these things. It will be so fun. Now, I do have an I Don't Think So Honey. I have one too, but I'll have you go first,

as is traditional. This is Matt Rodgers' I Don't Think So Honey's Time Starts Now. I Don't Think So Honey baby talk and baby humor. I just don't like it. You know what I mean? When someone... I'm just like, you lost me.

Because I feel like what you're cutting off here is the many years that you've progressed from babyhood to adulthood. And I want to know about the culture and the humor that's influenced you in that space, span of time. Were you the funniest ever that you ever have been when you were a baby? I don't think so, honey. So why are you talking like a baby now? It actually runs right through me, the baby voice. I also I'm sorry, I'm going to move on now to baby humor. Videos of babies

don't make me laugh. I'm sorry you can stop sending them to me. I enjoy a baby. Thank you. But I don't need to opt into baby humor. Yes. I'm an adult. I prefer adult humor, like adult comedians, Tina Fey.

Things like that. So when you speak to me in a baby voice, know that I am wincing. And it's just like some of my closest friends love to do a baby voice and I don't love baby voice. I don't think so, honey. Baby voice.

And that's one minute. I agree with you. I think there's one person that you're referring to in particular. How dare you do this? There must be. Can I say their name? Go ahead.

Sudie Green. Sudie Green loves baby voice and baby humor. She loves to send me videos of babies. And I don't love baby voice and baby humor. I gotta say, I think I'm with you on this. Who knew this was going to be call-out culture? Even sometimes. This is a take.

This is a take. You're cruel, Beau. What? I'm gonna be I'm gonna I'm gonna out myself as a heartless motherfucker what

sometimes when I get a video of my niece I'm like okay I don't care about videos of anyone's baby because I'm so sorry

I love my niece so goddamn much I don't as a person not a comedian I don't always want to see her like do shit. You know what I'm saying? You're not looking for her latest shit.

I'm sorry, but there you go. Ellie has not formed her comedic voice. No, she will. And it's actually a detriment to her to send you videos. Because now this is part of her fucking of. Legacy. Remember that one time I like, you know, played the piano in a weird way? Like, yeah, but that like now that's canon. And now that's like it's part of your legacy. Remember that one time I like, you know, played the piano in a weird way? Like, yeah,

but that like, now that's canon and now that's like, it's part of your legacy and we're going to have to reckon with that at some point. It's like, especially in culture now

when everything gets on the internet, like people, these babies might get canceled for videos of them as babies later on when they were adults trying to make a comedic

career happen because they were garbage when they were babies because baby humor isn't funny. Stop talking to me in a baby voice no I love

I actually love seeing Ellie all the time that sucks that you do that because you just said otherwise you just said otherwise and now here you are double speak

and it's a white bitch narrative Scarlett Johansson that was taken out of context no you said it we were fucking here no I said in a world where anyway

okay that's a beautiful I don't think so that's brave thank you I really I just like I can't do it with baby stuff. Okay. All right.

So this is going to be Bowen Yang's I Don't Think So Honey. And in fact, his time starts now. I Don't Think So Honey standing at an angle in an elevator. Bitch, face the front, motherfucker. Last night, I go home with my parents. We're up the elevator. These drunk assholes come in to go to the rooftop. It's 1130 p.m. They go, can you hit the roof, please? They needed my foholes come in to go to the rooftop it's 11.30pm

they go can you hit the roof please they needed my fob to scan them up to the roof I go and I was I was a bitch and I go

I think the roof closes at 10 and he goes yeah but our party's up there still so we have to clean up and I go okay scan the fob

and then what they do is they stand at an angle to face me 30 seconds as a bullying tactic, I think. I was with my parents. My parents, like, they sandwiched my mom. It was so weird. It was just this weird, crazy, like,

formation. And I was like, this is bad, and this actually makes all of us uncomfortable and out of our elements. You are distorting reality for me. 15 seconds. And how dare you? And I will put you on blast on my podcast, listened to by thousands. And sir, I will meet you on that field and love will win.

Love will win. And that is one minute. I'm quoting Marianne and most of my other things. Yeah, honestly, that sounds like a bullying tactic. Elevator stances are very important. You have to remember

you're not the only person in there. You face front. It's been that way since 1950, bitch. Since elevators were invented. We got it. We figured it out already. There's no remix. There's no remix. Unless it's a two-sided door elevator situation, but it

wasn't the case. It's not the case. What if I was like, I don't think so, honey. My traumatic childhood. And they talked about all the things I went through. Can I just riff for one? Can I say one thing about elevator culture? Yes. Something I've realized about myself. I can't be in an elevator with a romantic

or sexual partner without it becoming a full thing. I have to hook up in the elevator. What? Even if it's just the two of you. If it's just the two of you. Not with anyone else. I'm sorry. My grandma was there. My mom was there. Everybody was looking at us and they were asking us for money.

And I was hooking up. But if we're in an elevator together. If we're in an elevator together and you are my partner. Yeah. And you're not trying to hook up with me when the doors close. It's rude. It's crazy. And we are in a fight now.

And when the door opens, get off me. Get off. Katerina. Kater off. Katrina. So. Katrina. Katrina. So now it's time for Alice's I Don't Think So Honey. This is really hard. I have been so nervous about this. You can do. It's such a segment. I reject that. This is such a seggy. You can

just do your traumatic childhood. It's fine. I know. Like it's okay. It's happening now. Have I started? Oh no. This is Alice Wetterlund's I Don't Think So Honey. Our time starts now. Okay. It's happening now. Have I started? Oh, no. This is Alice Wetterlund's I Don't Think So Honey. Our time starts now.

Okay, I Don't Think So Honey, your hero. Of whatever it is. I don't care what it is. This isn't the way we do things anymore. We get fine if you appreciate the art

and you have to separate it from the artist or whatever. But like, stop every time somebody does a thing being like, well, I like him though so and then defending right everybody is a fucking human who is fucked up yes everyone

is bad and if they're famous they're definitely bad if someone's famous they're evil end of story this includes me 30 seconds so don't fucking go and like it's not like you're like oh my god you get something from the you get something from you're like oh this sniggers and you're like oh my god you get something from the you get something from you're like ooh there's Snickers and then you're like yeah

Mars is my shit I love Mars everything Mars does if you say anything about Mars it sucks no we just only fucking like a Snickers bar that's fine so like just get your heroes and knock them off the fucking pedestal because it's fucking 2019 punk rock bitch and that's one minute

you know what I've actually rarely met a hero and been satisfied it's it's horrible even people even people i slightly look up to it's horrible it's a horror story i know i know i know i met paul f tompkins who was my comedy hero now not my hero anymore because he's my fucking friend yeah it sucks especially he's too nice he's the he's a good person but he's really the nicest person the only way to go your friends are your heroes exactly you know like where you're like no that's a good dude actually meeting your there's only one way to go when you meet your hero which is down which is either they disappoint you so much or they become your peer and then you're like well

fuck now this sucks who am i gonna look i mean i don't look up to anybody anymore yeah yeah i don't look up to anyone yeah i think maybe because of Paul it's like it's the one exception where he really was exceeding my expectations and Paul is a lovely he's a lovely person but like then there's Paul

and then that leaves everybody else damn you're right Paul is great and that's a shout out to Paul F. Tompkins and this episode

the white bitch narrative the white bitch narrative has been so fun and we have covered all the ground and what a fucking joy that we got you in here with your gorgeous scarlett johansson ass thank you it is perky today i woke up and i was like what are you gonna be today yeah you know and she was like i'm gonna be actually exactly i'm gonna be perked the fuck up i'm caffeinated yeah i mean i had a

cold brew and i'm a killing machine i had a cold cold brew as well. August 23rd, the special, as they say, drops. Drops, as they say. We love Alice so much. Please find her. Follow her. Don't make her a hero. Because you'll be disappointed. We end every episode with a song.

Every episode gets ended with a song. All the hot girls, pop, pop, pop. If it's been a bad day, don't blah, blah, ya. If it's been a bad day, don't blah, blah, blah. And if you see a mad bitch, don't ha, ha, ha.

Wow, okay, so we didn't do it good. If you see a mad bitch? If you see a mad hoe, tell her ha, ha, ha. Is she mad? I don't know. I think the other hoe's mad. Is it like a Mad Hatter situation

where she's like actually in Medellin? To be continued. To be continued. Bye. Forever be continued. To be continued. Bye. Forever. Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey.

For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team and liking our page on Facebook. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind-the-scenes stories, crazy details,

and honestly, just having a blast talking football. Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all times, from legends to our buddies to current stars. We're finally answering the age-old question, what kind of dudes are these dudes? We're going to the age-old question. What kind of dudes are these dudes? We're gonna find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season.

Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Thanksgiving Day 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba?

Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami? Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Cheryl Swoops. And I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day.

Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women. And T and I have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby, an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. I was a desperate delusional dreamer. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one.