Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - THE BEST OF FOREVER DOG 2018

Starting point is 00:00:00 The Real Housewives of New York City are back for another bite of the Big Apple. Look who it is. Joined by elite new friends. Rebecca Minkoff. Have you ever heard of her? But things could change in a New York Minute. She had this wild night and ended up getting pregnant by some other guy. What?

Starting point is 00:00:19 You told her? Not today, Satan. Not today. The Real Housewives of New York City. All new Tuesdays at 9 on Bravo or stream it on City TV+. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to

Starting point is 00:00:46 take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. talking football. Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all times, from legends to our buddies to current stars. We're finally answering the age-old question, what kind of dudes are these dudes? We're going to find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app,

Starting point is 00:01:41 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Oh, hey, it's Teresa, back from the dead, again. Just wanted to pop in and let you know that Haunting is back on October 22nd. Spooky season?

Starting point is 00:01:54 I own spooky season. We're serving up some killer stories, literally, and a few that might make you question whether you really locked the door before getting into bed. So cancel your lame Halloween plans. Haunted houses? Overdone. Candy corn? Honestly, who eats that? Your new tradition? Listening to me. Listen to Haunting starting on October 22nd on the iHeartRadio app,

Starting point is 00:02:17 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Forever Dog. Hello and happy holidays. This is Brett, one of the co-founders of the Forever Dog. Thank you for subscribing to bonus content on Patreon, for buying merch, for coming to a live show, for everything you do to support Forever Dog and make this network feel like a community. We are amazed, we're grateful, and we appreciate you. And if right now you're saying, I didn't do any of those things and I don't know what the hell Forever Dog is, well, hi, welcome. Forever Dog is the network that produces this podcast that you're subscribed to, and we've got lots more where that came from. In 2018, Forever Dog produced 30 podcasts as well as two limited series.

Starting point is 00:03:08 You'll find us mostly under comedy, but we also have must-listen shows for TV and film fanatics, baseball fans, spiritualists and mystics, listeners of music, book readers, laundry aficionados, theme park aficionados, politics junkies, failures, shop to your droppers, health nuts, and anyone with a commute and or desk job. So to celebrate the past year at forever dog, we've put together a clip

Starting point is 00:03:29 show that highlights some of the best moments from our podcasts. And if that doesn't sound like your cup of tea, no worries. Your favorite podcast will be back next week or the week after with brand new episodes. But if you're looking for something new to subscribe to in 2019, or for some killer back catalogs to binge during your holiday travels, then please stay tuned because we've got a lot of fun stuff coming your way next. I should also add that if you subscribe to multiple forever dog podcasts, we will be releasing this same episode on all our feeds this week.

Starting point is 00:03:56 So let me just apologize ahead of time for the repetition, but we think this is a really fun episode and we want as many people as possible to hear it. Oh, and if you want to follow up on any of the shows presented in this episode you can find them all at foreverdogpodcasts.com you can also subscribe to them on apple podcast stitcher spotify or your favorite podcast app and you can follow us forever dog on twitter and instagram at forever dog team okay let's get started with the best of Forever Dog 2018!

Starting point is 00:04:37 Our first podcast up is one that Vulture called, quote, a scathing, absurdist, intersectional, radical, feminist alt podcast. It's called A Woman's Smile. It's hosted by two of the most innovative performers working in comedy right now, Patty Harrison and Lorelei Ramirez. And the following clip comes from a special futuristic episode of the podcast entitled A Woman's Smile is Spaceship. Welcome to A Woman's smile, smile, smile. With your host, Lorelai. And Patty.

Starting point is 00:05:14 Ha ha, ha ha. This is a year. 30,000, 50, 50,000. Our consciousnesses have been loaded into a hard drive in the sky, in the cloud, and now we are a robot. And now, as Patty said so eloquently, we are a robot. I am still the same as I was before. Still fat, still big. And still I am balding, naked.

Starting point is 00:05:42 Naked on the show. Balding, naked, sad, horny, horny. Yes, it is really bad. We don't have body, but still, those things did not change about Lorelei's consciousness. Apparently, you can put consciousness in another big fat body. A big fat balding body. Still, when you move on to a different form of consciousness,

Starting point is 00:06:04 you are the ugliest one. Sometimes pain follows you move on to a different form of consciousness, you are the ugliest one. Sometimes pain follows you wherever you go. And even in my consciousness, people still debate whether I'm a man or a woman. It is true. And it is actually funny that you bring that up. No, it hurts. Because still, I question you. No, no, no, no, no, no. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Let's get into it. What you have been thinking about? I have been thinking about my husband.

Starting point is 00:06:32 He is at home in my mind, in our consciousness. We live in a chip, in my chip. We have an amazing bathroom. Our bathroom has two sinks. I wish I could also have a chip too. You'll have a chip soon. You are so much data, you don't fit in a chip. I did not yet to make a chip big enough to hold all your data.

Starting point is 00:06:54 This is not fair. I uploaded my consciousness so I could be free of my body. Ha ha ha. But not. I am still in my body, still big and fat and ugly. Why? Let's talk about something else. So, Lorelai, what have you been thinking about? I have been thinking about... maybe one day... Oh no.

Starting point is 00:07:18 Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Soulmate. I think that you are wonderful. Mind in person, Lorelai. I think it will happen for you. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. I think that when you put yourself out there, it really does make all the difference people need to know about you. I am sorry. My consciousness is getting a little bit bigger by the second. That is okay. You should demonstrate self-control.

Starting point is 00:08:12 You should demonstrate self-control. One of my favorite things to do is sit on the pot inside my ship and take big ones. That is funny to me. That is funny to me. That is funny to me. Remember when we used to be in our bodies and I would go over to your husband when he was broken and I would take care of him? Yes, and I took my dance class. My dance class was an amazing place

Starting point is 00:08:43 where I bonded with many women to look like me. They were just like me. They were white. They were 5'9". They were 110 pounds. They were thin like me. They loved to dance to hip-hop tracks, contemporary music at the time, like Charlie XCX. You sound sad. When you talk about those things, you sound sad. I am not. I am not sad. I look back fondly at those days at my dance class with my white girlies. My skinny white girls. We drank skinny white wine after. Skinny bitch wine was my favorite. I know you miss that life we had. But this is for the better now. Now. Now.

Starting point is 00:09:28 I love you. I love you. Are you having a mad run? Are you having a mad run? This next clip comes from a new podcast that premiered on Forever Dog in October called the American Arts and Culture Review. It's hosted by Clay Tatum and Whitmer Thomas of beloved LA comedy outfit Power Violence. And together with friends Bud Anthony Diaz and Rodney Berry, they review the latest in film, TV, high fashion, music, and art, accompanied throughout by a live soundtrack of Jazz Pop Standards. The clip you're about to hear comes from an episode entitled The Favorite, Widows,

Starting point is 00:10:23 and Lars von Trier, and features a very special guest, critically acclaimed filmmaker Lars von Trier. We – oh, crap. I was supposed to do something that I didn't do. Do you have a special guest? Yeah. We have a very special guest. He came here all the way from a foreign place. From a different country for sure. Really? He flew all the way from a foreign place. From a different country for sure.

Starting point is 00:10:45 Really? Yeah. He flew all the way from there? Yeah. He just directed a new film called The House That Jack Built. Bud, would you mind going in and letting him in? Clay, you're closer. Will you just let him open?

Starting point is 00:10:57 No, it would be best if Bud went. Buddy, you have to go. Okay. Later, Bud. And there he goes. He's getting him right now. So, bud. And there he goes. He's getting him right now. So, okay. And he's coming in.

Starting point is 00:11:12 And he's coming in and he's sitting down. Oh, he's going to sit down. He's sitting down right now. Wow, this is amazing. This is so good. Hi! Hello. Okay, Lars. So, what?

Starting point is 00:11:20 Glad to be here. So, what's some, what reasons we should see here? Did you see my film? I haven't seen it yet. What what's some reasons we should see here? Did you see my film? I haven't seen it yet. What's it about? What's it about? The house that Jack built. Okay.

Starting point is 00:11:32 What's that about? What's that about? Kevin Dillon. Okay. He's a murderer. Okay, good. No, he can go in more detail. You've got gotta see my film

Starting point is 00:11:45 Yeah, what is it about? In theaters now Is it? Yeah Okay, so Select theaters Okay, so what's Not all of them

Starting point is 00:11:54 What happens in the movie? He's on the road Okay In a car Okay Don't get in his car You gotta see my film Okay

Starting point is 00:12:03 I can milk this for a little longer. Yeah. Okay. So that's what it's about? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Okay. Did you see it?

Starting point is 00:12:14 Well, this is your idea. How about you take the wheel here? So where are you from? What got you into making movies? I'm foreign. Yeah, what got you into making movies? I'm foreign. Yeah, what got you into making movies? God damn. What got you into making movies?

Starting point is 00:12:31 What got you into making movies, Lars? A camera. Okay. Yeah, all right. Cool. And what about the camera? What about the camera made you into the camera? I bought a camera.

Starting point is 00:12:44 This is so good. As a boy, as a camera? I bought a camera. This is so good. As a boy, as a boy, I bought a camera. Yeah. I was young. Yeah. How old were you? Three. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:12:55 So that's what made you decide? Yeah. And so you bought a camera and then you decided, I'm going to make films. Okay, so recently you've made all kinds of great films. What's your favorite film that you've made? Beside the newest one. Melancholia. Yeah, because it's about depression.

Starting point is 00:13:13 So that film is about depression. Would you say that you've ever suffered from depression? Oh, yeah. So what do you do when you're depressed? What's your remedy? Well, let me just... My headphones are broken and I can barely hear you. Uh-huh.

Starting point is 00:13:30 So if you go a little louder. Yeah? So what is your, so what's, what is your, so you've struggled with depression? Oh, yeah. So what's a remedy that you would recommend to someone who's dealing with depression? Oh, make movies. Make movies. Buy a camera.

Starting point is 00:13:54 Make a movie. Okay. Now, Lars, while promoting the film Melancholia, you came under fire for telling everyone that you're a Nazi. Yeah. So how do you... It won't stop talking. So do you redact those statements now? No!

Starting point is 00:14:14 You don't? No! I meant what I said. I meant it. I make films. In theaters now. No, that's not what I asked. My film is in theaters now. That's it.

Starting point is 00:14:30 No, but when being interviewed a few years ago, you told everyone that you're a Nazi. Yeah. Do you regret saying that? No. Okay, so why don't you regret it? I don't know. You know, I... You're so good at this. I don't...

Starting point is 00:14:48 Okay, okay, okay. Here's, okay. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. The house that Jack built... Louder. The house that Jack built in theaters now...

Starting point is 00:15:04 Okay, so you're not going to answer. No. Why? I'm embarrassed. Okay. Where can people find you on social media? Find me and Lars Vandrier on Twitter and Lars Vandrier on Instagram. What's your email?

Starting point is 00:15:23 Email Lars Vandrier at LarsVandrier.com. Okay. Cool. Great. Thank you. Next up is the wonderfully witchy Beyond, the only podcast we've ever produced that may have altered the fabric of space and time. In Beyond, self-proclaimed energy expert Mike Kelton seeks to solve his and his friend's real life problems by supernatural means instead of going to a therapist mike goes to mediums ghost hunters cult leaders healers astrologers and in this clip a witch this is from the episode entitled

Starting point is 00:15:55 witchcraft the goat head and it features mike's friend lisa p from the bronx consulting a witch about the dark energy surrounding her boyfriend's ex. So I go on the trip. I didn't say anything like, I don't know. I never cried. I didn't shed a tear. I was just like, okay, come back. And I'm like, what now? So I go back to her again. And, you know, she went through it again and said, she's not pregnant. She's not pregnant, blah, blah, blah. And I said, well, what can I do to make this stop? She's like a menace. This woman is a menace. She's menacing my life. I can't

Starting point is 00:16:32 go on. I can't do it. I'm going to break up with him. But then there's a competitive side of me that's also down with this bitch. Oh my God. So Raheena was like, oh, well. I said, well, can I light up a candle in my apartment and do something? or there's different remedies and different types of cleanses. And she was like, oh, no, no.

Starting point is 00:16:53 For this, you need to do something big. Well, it's a revocation. It's called a revocation. Yeah. Like in Spanish, it's a revocation. So I had to do a revocation. So's called a revocation. Yeah. Like in Spanish, it's a revocation. So I had to do a revocation. So I was like, whatever. I'm down.

Starting point is 00:17:08 I'm down. Like, what's up? Let's revocate. She made me, I had to bring a photo of this individual. And she said, okay, I have to work on it for seven days. Most things in this tradition are in the numbers of three, seven, or 21. So I think she had to work on it for seven days then i had to come pick up the finished product on a monday because this is the day of the like guardian of the cemetery give us what happens when you show up after the seven days

Starting point is 00:17:37 on the monday what's what goes down she went into the kitchen into into the freezer, and pulled out a plastic bag that was, you know, the size of, like, a bread basket. And she hands me, like, a frozen goat head. So in the goat's mouth. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on, Lisa B. Hold on. She gives you the goat head. but it feels very hold on hold on lisa p hold on she gives you the goat head what is your first thought sometimes when you go into these types of places there's just

Starting point is 00:18:11 the way that i am even sometimes in certain churches i i feel like currents the spanish is like corrientes you know like currents it feels it felt very um ritualistic it felt very spiritual you're like in flow with the goat head i was like in flow i love it i wasn't like what is this oh my god laughing you're like this is i'm all in and this is part of it that makes sense to me also like you have to be if you're going to a person's kitchen in washington nights and getting a goat head you you got to be all in. I was all in. It gets crazier. Okay. I mean, she didn't tell us what she did, but my friend who was with us, she, you know, again, is the person who introduced me to Reena.

Starting point is 00:18:53 And she was like, oh, look, you know, there's coffee grounds in the mouth. The picture was rolled up and stuffed. And my friend told me, she's like, this is all to shut her up. This is to get her to shut up. And there were other things I'm, that were done as well. So we had to take the goat head and bury it in a cemetery that night. It had to be done on a Monday. This Monday.

Starting point is 00:19:14 Had to be done. And this was already like six o'clock. And this is December. So it's pitch. It's pitch dark. It's pitch dark. It's pitch dark. Okay. So the only cemeteries that are in northern Manhattan are completely gated off at this point and locked and they have cameras on them and people get arrested for trying to go in there because more people do this than you think. For example, if you were to look up goat heads in Prospect Park, you will find so many stories about what has been going on with Goat Heads in Prospect Park.

Starting point is 00:19:45 Are you serious? Yes. So, of course, we had to research this. And guess what, everyone? It absolutely checks out. There are so many articles about Goat Heads in Prospect Park and also many other parks in the tri-state area. And we will include those links in the description of this podcast for some light, fun reading after you finish the app we've been huge fans of this next podcast for a long time so we were very honored when they joined forever dog this year it's black man can't jump in hollywood hosted by jerrod milligan james the third and jonathan braylock one of the best movie review

Starting point is 00:20:20 podcasts out there black man can't jump was selected for best of 2018 lists from the av club vulture and relevant and the following clip comes from their award-winning episode on the film black panther if people are into marvel i don't know but like you know when infinity war comes like characters have to die and like usually they'll kill characters that are more secondary yeah and like i'm like yo if one of these people die like i'm gonna be upset i'm gonna be legitimately sad and upset because we really came to grow and love all of them quick too man so much so that i would say like my only gripe with this movie was i was so sad that michael b jordan had to die even though i know he did i don't think he did man that's my

Starting point is 00:21:02 that's my only gripe that's my only gri guy with the movie because i was like yo this dude was amazing and you set it up so that he didn't have to die you set up a lot the internal logic in the film so that they could have saved him with the science and like i thought he was gonna be like um loki i thought he was gonna be saying i thought he was gonna be loki i'm very my only way that he died yes yes the lines yo the line yo how he died was perfect it was that was so really was it makes sense it makes sense it makes it like i like i didn't want him to die either and then he said that line and i was like this is perfect same here and he just and he just did it like but also yo this movie so yeah Okay. I think this is perfect. Let's talk about it.

Starting point is 00:21:46 It's like, just to hit on Ryan Coogler real quick, is oftentimes we have this discussion on whether or not a white person can direct a movie about like the black experience, right? Right. And I know sometimes we're like, we're really polite and we're really like, you know, maybe they can if they know. But I think the nuances that this brother created in this movie, for instance, that – because he co-wrote it. So Ryan Coogley co-wrote it for people who don't know. That line about, no, so what, I can be locked up?

Starting point is 00:22:15 No, just throw me in the ocean like my ancestors did when they were jumping off the boats because they knew it was better to die than be in prison for the rest of your life or something like that. I was like, bruh. First off, everything that freaking Sterling K. Brown said at the top of the movie about why he wanted – this movie isn't about – it's about the world, but it's really about ideology. Like, yo, I've seen black people butchered. I've seen how people view them. And we have a chance to make them strong and powerful and we're not that is literally what the conflict of this movie is do you help your brothers and sisters or not what are you doing why are we saving our are we just going to hoard and save our resources for it's so funny like as like somebody who's

Starting point is 00:22:58 christian that there was like a lot of spiritual oh it was the whole time the whole movie i was just thinking about that so much. Like, this idea of, like, you know, there's that verse in the Bible, there's a song, like, don't, if you have a light, don't hide it under a bushel. Like, go, let it shine on the top of a mountain, right? Like, let your little light shine.

Starting point is 00:23:18 That's the song. Let your little light shine. The idea is that if you have a light, don't hide it and use it for yourself you should let it shine so others can see the light and that's exactly what wakanda is it's like this bright shining city in the center in the heart of africa that is kept hidden and the main conflict and theme of this movie is like are we going to keep this hidden for ourselves or do we have a responsibility to the rest of the world especially the rest of people of color in these

Starting point is 00:23:51 in these nations surrounding nations that are suffering and that we know we could help and we're not helping to protect ourselves you know that's the crux of the movie it's not some giant invader trying to take over the world i mean i guess it kind of is i mean not an invader but it's like something that's so real to black people. I'm on a thread right now with my boys from back home, and it's like 10 of us on this thread. And literally the whole discussion has been since Trump has been in office, especially this year in particular, of what can people of color do to help more? Like, basically, like, what should we be doing? Like, we know we've got to do something.

Starting point is 00:24:22 Like, yeah, we can vote, and we have been voting, but it's more it's more right and the whole movie the idea behind the movie is like what else like what do we do and i thought that was just a genius way to do it it made it more grounded to me than most superhero movies are because it was something that was uh like something that people can relate to and also we still had a villain i feel like a lot of times when it's a black superhero he's fighting like the crime boss or the drug dealer on the block or something like that right whereas this he still had a true villain um but he also has something that just meant something personal you know i bruh and then ryan coogler again ryan coogler his three movies all have over 90 percent of ryan tomatoes you're not hate quoting ryan

Starting point is 00:25:00 tomatoes but the go from foodville station which was set in Oakland, which he added this character back in Oakland, and I feel like he did it on purpose, but that's just me. He had that movie. To go from that to Creed,

Starting point is 00:25:11 it's like, this young black man, 31, 32? Yeah. Like, young black man has now changed the way a lot of black people even view themselves.

Starting point is 00:25:22 And I'm like, and he wasn't rich. Like, this wasn't a rich black brother. Right. Like, he he is from oakland like he grew up with not that much and like my man has shown to usc he like that is the american dream if you want to be real yeah he inspired he yo my man will not only inspire black people around this country but he's gonna inspire like mad people he's inspiring he's inspiring inspire like mad people to come around. He's an inspiring filmmaker. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:25:45 It's like, come on, man. Like, Oh my God. He's just a great filmmaker. Just this past week, we sadly said goodbye to one of the original forever dog podcasts. One of our all time faves,

Starting point is 00:25:55 the book of yay hosted by Rob Hayes and Chris Daniels for the past two and a half years, Rob and Chris have been journeying through the Kanye West cannon song by song. While also trying to make sense of every twist and turn of Kanye's career. Even though the podcast is over, the Book of Ye leaves behind an incredible back catalog of episodes that are well worth revisiting, including so many great moments. In particular, Rob and Chris were really at their best when they were unpacking the controversial and problematic public lives of our most iconic

Starting point is 00:26:22 pop stars, whether it be Kanye himself, or in this clip from the episode Hell of a Life with guest Gordon Baker Bone, Lorde. Don't pull a Lorde. We're not going to talk about Whitney Houston like that. All right, all right, all right, cool. Get your apology tweets ready. Yeah, definitely. I'm sorry.

Starting point is 00:26:39 Sorry, Mr. J. He apologized to the Joker she'll never be a Roy as far as I'm aware wait why you don't like Roy Lord cause when she said she posted a picture of a bathtub

Starting point is 00:26:57 and I will always love you how's that an accident how is that an accident how is that an accident what's a bathtub in the bodyguard come on man ain't no bathtub in the bodyguard what is lord gotta pull that for it i i don't know that's lord bad coincidence that's not bad you know what no i'm on your side now rob yeah you can't come on man you can't disrespect like that no you think she blatantly went out to disrespect? You know what?

Starting point is 00:27:25 She was the only. I will always love you in a picture of a bathtub. That's a blatant shot. She wanted to take a bath. Okay. Scrub-a-dub in the tub is a good catch. No. No, it's not.

Starting point is 00:27:36 Nobody sings that. Nobody's got rub-a-dub-dub plans. Okay. There's a rub-a-dub-key emoji. How old is Lorde? Exactly. How old is Lorde? she old enough not to know to do that shit you have wikipedia come on man old enough to have google why would she be on a laptop

Starting point is 00:27:51 in the tub she i i'll recommend it now see what happens on a blueberry on a blackberry in a tub she could be on a laptop she on a blackberry in a tub. She could be on a laptop. She could have a laptop to the side. I don't understand. I don't understand why she did that. How is that not an accident? I said it was. And the tub's all the way full.

Starting point is 00:28:14 No, you're saying it's not an accident. Yeah. So we're asking you, how did she make an accident with that? Come on. Did you say the wrong line? The girl wanted to take a bath like it makes you know why i say this accent because it makes no sense for it not to be what how that's a blatant shot first of all first of all first of all lord is one of them dark people hair in front of the face

Starting point is 00:28:37 yep which is in the video first of all so to make a joke or a reference to how somebody died doesn't seem off for her. Second of all, come on. You just saying that because she looks like the girl who caught on to the well? I will always love you. Now, two I's might have been Dolly Parton, but we all know only Whitney Houston can pull off that third consecutive I. You know what I'm saying? Very true. That's Norxone right there.

Starting point is 00:29:03 What is the song about? Hmm? What is the song about? What is the song about? Kevin Costner. It's about her what? Duh. The motherfucking song's about love. The girl loves taking baths.

Starting point is 00:29:17 Get out of here. Are you serious? This is going on the internet. What is wrong with you? First of all, I hate y'all for making me have to defend Lorde. Put this at the front of the podcast. No, fuck that. Keep Sinai Lathan at the front of the podcast.

Starting point is 00:29:37 No. Scratch that. I hate that I'm going equally as hard for Sinai Lathan as Lorde in the same 40 minutes. She just loves Babs and she was singing her, she was professing her love. I don't. Not only professing it. Come on, man. Taking a picture of the tub.

Starting point is 00:29:51 I don't want to go into her because y'all going too hard unnecessarily. Unnecessarily? It makes no sense. It's Whitney Houston. It makes no sense to be mad because you, no, but you're saying. This ain't Pebbles. You're saying. She got multiple hits.

Starting point is 00:30:02 You're saying there was bad intent behind it. Or funny intent. It was probably she was trying to be funny that's the worst joke ever it is that's why they had to get out yeah lord ain't got no netflix special come on you gotta show me the precedent of lord making jokes about dead people that's what made this upsetting not surprising but upsetting because lord was like somebody that we never have a problem with you know i'm saying lord was the only white person this year nominated for best album album of the year and she didn't say nothing crazy she had no crazy captions like we was cool with lord you know i'm saying well you got a ledger fucking keep it open lord what i'm saying is this bullshit i'm saying prior to this

Starting point is 00:30:45 we've never had an issue with lord but now i'm looking at lord like all right now lord you know your name is lord it already makes me feel funny saying it i got an e on it it has an e on it but when you say it you can't hear the e i'm losing all this act like she should pronounce it Lordy I'm just saying Lordy Lordy can speak on Whitney Houston

Starting point is 00:31:10 but not Lord you think she got a career if her name is Lordy yeah Lordy Lordy is the one who's singing rub-a-dub-dub

Starting point is 00:31:17 I definitely would never say her name if her name was Lordy y'all listen to that new Lordy what the fuck nah I wouldn't mess with Lordy Lordy cool Lorday lorday i call lorday

Starting point is 00:31:29 lordy sound like a soundcloud rapper fuck that i don't know about cancel because they'd be like so and so is canceled then they just be selling all the records so we ain't gonna cancel her but we just gonna put it to the side y'all ain't stopping lord from selling records but i i'm not gonna listen no more especially after that when it went i didn't know that bathtub thing man we gotta be secretive because you know spotify don't like to count stuff when people organize too too loudly but next time some lord come out we all gonna scream i think that y'all are a fringe group i didn't see that many people get upset about this i saw it every the context that I was presented, look at this mistake Lord made.

Starting point is 00:32:06 Y'all see what the fuck Lord did? See the kind of stuff that they got you saying because her name is Lord? Who the fuck is that? Look at the mistake that Lord made. It's the sentence you just said because her name is Lord. I'm going to find out her real name and call her that. That's what I'm going to do. What if it's Lord?

Starting point is 00:32:24 Lorday. I'm calling her Lorday. She's Lord call her that. That's what I'm going to do. What if it's Lorde? I'm calling her Lorde. She's Lorde. Look at the mistake Lorde made. That's better than Lorde. What were you over in 2018? What were you sick of? What were you done with? That's the question that Derek Katz and Betsy Kenny put to their guests every week on Done.

Starting point is 00:32:41 Named one of the best new podcasts of 2018 by refinery 29 done features some truly cathartic moments like this one from the episode natural beauty products marfa texas and whimsy oh my god so darren and i just got back from a trip and i ripped one on the plane oh and this was not like it was notable this was only a bo 747. This was like a tiny one. Like the pilot was right in front of me. And like one family was flying it with us. And I was trying to cover your ass. Because the dad I knew was on to you. He knew you ripped one.

Starting point is 00:33:14 I know. Wait, so I did it. And it was truly so loud. It sounded like a whoopee cushion. I couldn't stop laughing. And then I couldn't stop laughing that I had text Dara. It was right before we went off. I didn't hear it.

Starting point is 00:33:24 It smelled like we all together fell into a drainage ditch. Death was coming for us. Death had come and now we were rotting in it and there were worms. It was the smell of death. Worms were coming out of everyone's eyeballs. We truly couldn't stop laughing.

Starting point is 00:33:42 And right before that, we were taking so many pictures like on the tarmac because it was truly one of those planes and the guy this guy was so mad and he didn't know why he goes this isn't a place for fun and then we were like he got on the plane i'm like shitting my pants but it's just air i mean this we're never allowed back no that dad because that dad had two daughters sitting in front of him who you thought were cute. I thought were obnoxious. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:34:08 And I was going to yell at their asses. But then you let that fart go. And I couldn't. You took away any leverage I had for the rest of the flight. And then we couldn't stop laughing about a fart. It's truly gross. It's immature. Yeah, it's not funny.

Starting point is 00:34:23 Okay, fine. Fine. Really gross. It's immature. Yeah, it's not funny. Okay, fine. All right. When this next podcast joined Forever Dog for season three of their absolutely iconic show, we could not have been more thrilled. It's Food for Thought, hosted by Dennis Norris II, Joseph Osmunson, Tommy Pico, and Fran Torado, a multiracial mix of queer writers who talk about sex, relationships, race, identity, what they like to read, and who they like to read. And after you listen to the following clip from their Season 3 premiere episode, She's Arrived, please make sure to go online to the iHeartRadio Podcast Awards site and vote for Food for Thought for Best LGBTQ Podcast. You guys ready? Welcome to Season 3 of Food for thought a podcast gab fest we're in a multi-racial mix

Starting point is 00:35:09 of queer writers gather on the table to talk about sex identity culture what we like to read and who we like to read fran just fell out of his chair still recovering from that bone-chilling laugh. Like, waking up the souls of thousands of thoughts of yesteryear. Sex me so good I say blah blah blah. Summoning them like it's some fucking... It's like slutty Pandora's box. Just unleashing all these

Starting point is 00:35:38 slutty demons coming back from the grave. Good for that. Where every day is cheat day. Yeah. I'm Tommy Tebes cheat day. I'm Tommy Tebes Pico. I'm an indigenous American poet, screenwriter, and my fourth book is coming out in

Starting point is 00:35:52 fall 2019, proving once and for all, four books in four years, I am in fact, that bitch. Yes, you are. I'm Fran. I'm a writer, editor, and my drag queen name is Virginia Slim, but my drag queen name is Virginia Slim, but my drag king name is Girth Brooks.

Starting point is 00:36:08 Oh, no. Oh, my God. Oh, you're straight? Are you straight now? Yes. Jigs up. It's been three seasons. I've been straight the whole time. What if that was actually the rumor? Oh, my God. She loves the twist.

Starting point is 00:36:25 She lives for the drama, mama. I have never seen you suck dick personally, so who knows? I know. I am Joseph Oswinson. Obviously, you did not get that sexy. I mean, that's... My publicists are doing a great job, is what you're telling me. A scientist non-fiction writer.

Starting point is 00:36:44 Total top, as always, and the food for thought originator of sticking out your tongue in pictures. Oh my God, that's not true. That is so true. I did it first. Find me the receipts. Slander.

Starting point is 00:36:54 I will never forgive either of you for that. I invented it. So gross. Ned Slander. And hi guys, I'm back. I'm Dennis. Reader, writer, former figure skater. And it is my life's work to work Michelle

Starting point is 00:37:08 Kwan into every conversation. You're doing a great job, sweetie. You're doing a great job, sweetie. A plus. Dear reader, let's replay that Dennis' intro with the context that we have deemed Dennis with the affect of a YouTuber, a white YouTuber.

Starting point is 00:37:24 A white, like, makeup white YouTuber. A white makeup tutorial YouTuber that's like, hey guys! Gucci! How's it going? This is my unboxing video. I am so tired, you guys. Let's do this anyway. Listen, you can take the Becky out of the valley, but you can't

Starting point is 00:37:39 take the valley out of the Becky. That is an uncanny valley. Who wants to tell us what we got on the menu this week? I got it, everybody. This week, all of us fuck Rihanna. We give good advice from at least one doctor. It's me. Is it?

Starting point is 00:37:53 We conclusively decide that Mimi isn't a diva. Not anymore. Fuck you, Fran. Oh, my God. And we knock on the window pane of one of the greatest voices of all time. Take it away. Buck, buck, buck, buck, buck! of one of the greatest voices of all time take it away i'm feeling a little peckish so let's start the top of this show the way any good top should but the little t's are a glorious appetizer segment amuse boosh and to amuse our booshes today fran got a little game for us that's right so the theme of today's episode is divas so it only makes sense to gamify the meat of this episode

Starting point is 00:38:33 with a healthy little helping of bone block bench i'm game divas edition it's such a good copy for it i know right divas edition so if you're not familiar with our game, which we coined and created very originally, Bone Block Bench is pretty much the exact same thing as Merry Fuck Kill, but thoughtified. So, bone means, like, you need them. You gotta have them. Like, even if it's just for one night, like, you're just gonna fuck their brains out. Bench is, like, you wanna, like, you're gonna put them on the sidelines. Like, maybe you wanna play the long game with them. Like, that doesn't mean, like, they're out of your life forever, but, like, you gonna put them on the sidelines like maybe you want to play the long game with them like that doesn't mean like they're out of your life forever but like you want to put them on the bench and block is like what happens after all of joe's tinder matches go on one date with him no that's report i'm bone bone bone and they're block block um and so another disclaimer here i will not be playing softball there are no easy there are no easy balls that i will be throwing at you today okay i'm out i'm

Starting point is 00:39:35 see you guys later and there have been too many on dan gill and eric de dorian have been through it all on their podcast groomzillas they've planned their weddings they've gotten married they've watched the dodgers lose two consecutive World Series, and they've talked to tons of amazing guests about love, marriage, and the whole damn thing. The following clip comes from Dan and Eric's livestream of one of 2018's most memorable events, the royal wedding of Meghan Markle and Prince Harry. Recorded simultaneously in L.A. and Baltimore in the wee hours of the morning. Here they are, the groomzillas.

Starting point is 00:40:07 And forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live. I will. Nailed it. And will you, the family... This is going faster than I thought it would yeah they want to get this show

Starting point is 00:40:27 on the road support and uphold them in their marriage now and in the years to come we will I will

Starting point is 00:40:41 as we stand let us pray for Harry and Meghan I'm going to pray for Harry and Meghan with them I will. I'm going to pray for Harry and Meghan with them. Are you praying? No, I don't believe in God. God our Father. I don't believe in their God, that's for sure.

Starting point is 00:40:57 From the beginning, you have blessed creation with abundant life. Pour out your blessings upon Harry and Meghan. Is Charles on his phone again? That they may be joined in mutual love and companionship in holiness and commitment to each other. He's got his phone hidden in his hand. We ask this through our Lord Jesus Christ your son who is

Starting point is 00:41:18 alive and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit one God now and forever. Amen. Whoa. That was a strong prayer. Judging from the way Harry's been acting, I think the edible hit about halfway down the aisle when he was walking with William. Okay.

Starting point is 00:41:42 And I think he's really starting to swing now. What is going on? Look at that. Look at that train. Look at that veil. Look at British and British. Who is this reading? Do we know who this is? It looks like Camilla's mom. That's Camilla's mom?

Starting point is 00:42:04 It looks like. They all look the same to me, honestly. That's why it's such a big deal that Meghan is in the royal family. Oh, no figs. Set me as a seal upon your heart. As a seal upon your arm. For love is strong as death. Harry is flying right now.

Starting point is 00:42:31 Just totally gone. He is so high. He's so high. Is he wearing the Nazi uniform underneath his uniform? Do you think he still has it? No, I don't think he does.

Starting point is 00:42:49 But he did at one point wear it. I like sitting down. Who is this broad talking about floods and figs, man? This is bumming me out. That was Harry's first girlfriend whoever that was was terrified Harry

Starting point is 00:43:13 yeah is Seal gonna sing or what Seal is gonna sing Seal's doing two songs I believe he's only got one. Does this remind you of the wedding from Love Actually at all? This part kind of does, doesn't it? The choir?

Starting point is 00:43:39 Yeah. Is there a choir in Love Actually? The boy choir. Yeah, in the first wedding. Oh, when they're singing All You Need Is Love with the trombones? Yeah. Oh, come on. Want one anywhere?

Starting point is 00:43:57 I think Megan is just like, it's just so much. And it's like fun and everything, but it's, you know, I don't think this is them. I just, that's the feeling, overall feeling. I can't shake, but all this wedding as, you know. No, this is them. They like having George in the mall there. Well, yeah, but, I mean, all the, I mean, I think they want to get rid of it. They want to get, they want to get on of it. They want to get on with it.

Starting point is 00:44:25 They want to just be married, I feel like. I bet George isn't even focused on the wedding right now because he's probably crunching numbers for his Casamigos tequila. George Clooney? Seeing what the quarter's shaping up to be for his Casamigos tequila. Well, he's got one, he's always got one, part of his mind is always back at his lair in Lake Cuomo. Part of him is always in Lake Cuomo.

Starting point is 00:44:56 He's not fully anywhere. You can tell in his acting. Wow. Shots fired. He's always back. Part of him is always back at Lake Como where him and his colleagues are working on tequila that is creatively and professionally greater than any tequila. Look at these idiots. Casamigos.

Starting point is 00:45:20 In a crowded landscape of character-based improv podcasts, Hampton High has quickly become a world unto itself. That's what the AV Club had to say about this next podcast, and we could not agree more. Hampton High is created by and stars Tim Platt as high school junior Hampton McElvey, whose quest to become the Marc Maron of Roxville Prep by interviewing students and faculty of interest leads him down some very strange paths. The following clip is from Hampton's interview with theater kid Mitra, played by guest Mitra Juhari. This is interesting. We have more in common than people would have thought

Starting point is 00:45:53 who are looking at our different social circles. And that's why I like this podcast. And I think that's kind of the amazing thing about our school is people are pretty open-minded to connecting with people from other social groups. It's definitely true. Go Skunks, truly. Okay, so I wanted to ask you, so you do these roles, you do this behind-the-scenes stuff,

Starting point is 00:46:11 but, like, I mean, let's be brass tacks here. Like, where is this going to go? Is this your career? I mean, you know, now that I'm 17, I've kind of come to terms with the fact that there are people who are made for this stuff and there are people who just love it and aren't necessarily going to get paid to do it. And I think I'm the latter rather than the former. So one thing I realized about myself recently is that I'm actually really amazing at math. I've known that for a long time, but I haven't really

Starting point is 00:46:42 thrown myself into it. But I've been spending more and more time thinking about it, and I think I'm going to go to school for accounting. I just have to be realistic with myself. I'm great at math. I love the idea of helping people take care of their lives in a way that is responsible and pragmatic. So I'm going to study accounting and just sort of see where that takes me. And maybe I can marry the two at some point, but mostly I just want to get into the numbers and see what happens. Okay, that was the sound of a pin dropping. Okay, but like if you get a big role next year in the play, then like maybe that would be your career.

Starting point is 00:47:17 You know what I mean? Like, are you only saying that because you haven't had a huge role yet, you know? Well, I mean, of course it would be an honor and I would take it incredibly seriously if I were to receive a huge role yet you know well i mean it of course it would be an honor and i would take it incredibly seriously if i were to receive a huge role but when you think about like the graces or you know the like evan harper's of the show i mean of the school um i'm not one of those people those people just radiate a magnetic energy that makes you want to watch everything they do and i just don't think i'm that. And I'm okay with that. Okay, is this like one of those chick things where you're like saying like you're insulting yourself

Starting point is 00:47:49 so other people will be like, oh no, you're actually, actually great. You know what I mean? Like are you saying, oh, I just want to be an accountant so like I'll be like, oh no, you should actually do theater. Do you know what I mean? A chick thing? Yeah, like you know how like some,

Starting point is 00:48:01 you know how some chicks are like, oh, I look so ugly. And I'm like, no, you don't. You actually look really hot right now. I'm like, oh, thank look so ugly. And I'm like, no, you don't. You actually look really hot right now. I'm like, oh, thank you. That's what I wanted you to say. I mean, I know what you mean by a chick thing, but it actually hurts my feelings when you say that. Does it call it a chick thing?

Starting point is 00:48:17 But I – To lie? You've never told a lie? No, I've obviously told a lie, but like what I'm saying – So you're saying a lie – a chick thing is to lie. No, I'm just – no, lie but like what i'm saying you're saying a lie a chick thing is to lie no i'm just no that's not what i'm saying i'm saying it's like you saying oh i love the theater but i want to do something else because i'm not that good it is sort of like when a lot of chicks and this is true do say like i don't look good right now because they want the guys so they look good don't you think that diminishes my goals by saying that i'm lying i'm actually really good at

Starting point is 00:48:44 math i'm great at math. I'm great at math. I've always gotten A pluses in math. It comes really naturally. I'm sure you are, but I'm not saying you're not good at math. I'm saying that like... I'm not mad at you. I want you to know I'm not mad at you, but I just want you to know that it's actually pretty destructive of you to refer to me saying that I want to pursue accounting as a chick thing. When I state my goals, I mean them. I'm an intelligent person. I know. Yeah, no, I know that. I'm not saying you're not intelligent. I would just like, if like a theater role came around the corner that changed your life, I'm just saying that you would probably take that. Right? I mean, so.

Starting point is 00:49:20 Yeah, but I'm saying that I don't think that's going to happen and that I've accepted and embrace and I'm really excited about pursuing accounting. I'm not mad at you. I'm saying that I don't think that's going to happen and that I've accepted and embraced and I'm really excited about pursuing accounting. I'm not mad at you. I'm just saying phrases like chick thing are problematic and I want you to think about the reasons why. Because I respect you and I think you're capable of better, Hampton. Okay. I really like you. I mean it.

Starting point is 00:49:40 Okay. I like you too. I feel like I'm walking on a minefield right now, to be perfectly frank. Like I – all I – okay. I mean I'm not – not to dig this hole, but like all I'm saying is that like people – I mean all I'm saying is that like people sometimes say – okay, you are saying what you mean. I see – you are saying what you mean. I see. You are saying what you mean. A lot of people say things that they don't mean and I don't think it's tied to their gender.

Starting point is 00:50:13 OK. That is the sound of a mind blown. A true comedy legend, Kevin MacDonald of the Kids in the Hall brought his traveling variety show podcast, Kevin MacDonald's Kevin MacDonald Show, to Los Angeles, New York, and Atlanta this year. Featuring incredible guests like Todd Berry, Paul F. Tompkins, Darcy Carden, Tim Heidecker, Judah Friedlander, and Weird Al Yankovic. And the list doesn't stop there. and unforgettable appearances by Mike Myers, Amy Mann, Andy Richter, Ben Gibbard, Rob Corddry, Rachel Dratch, Bob Saget, and fellow kids in the hall, Scott Thompson, Dave Foley, and Mark McKinney. Now, please enjoy this clip from Kevin's interview with Weird Al. I also, oh yeah, I remember, uh, in Canada, Another One Loves the Bus was like a super, super hit. Was it?

Starting point is 00:51:07 Yeah. Wasn't it in the stage? Kind of. It just barely got released. Like the record label went bankrupt two weeks after it came out. But it got out there, I guess. How did you get your first record deal? Was it because of My Bologna?

Starting point is 00:51:22 That came out on Capitol Records. The original bathroom recording. Literally recorded it in a bathroom in my college. And Capitol Records put it out. And it sold a couple dozen copies. I don't know. If you can find a copy today, though, it's worth like 35, 40 cents. Oh, good. If it's autographed.

Starting point is 00:51:41 I might have it in the basement. When I moved from Toronto, my sister took all my stuff and put it in her basement and then she had a flood and ruined everything. Oh, no. That's a sad story. Why'd you bring the room down like that? Because I want to get out to my airport. I see.

Starting point is 00:51:59 Oh, yeah. He was going to come tonight. He's not here day fully. He was going to come here? Until he found out I was showing up? No, no. to come here? Until he found out I was showing up. No, it's the opposite. He found out I was showing up. He got a headache.

Starting point is 00:52:13 Should I say this? I can't even pronounce it. Yesterday he had a colonoscopy. Colonoscopy? He's feeling badly from it. He should have just gotten a semi-colonoscopy. Yes. Oh!

Starting point is 00:52:31 Once, the kids in the hall, a few years ago, we were on a Canadian TV show, and Scott had a colonoscopy that morning. And we were reading the script, and they were asking us for notes, because they were pretending to care about it. It was the kids in the hall. And Scott whispered to me, because of the procedure I just had,

Starting point is 00:52:48 I'm pooing my pants. And then the writer said, Scott, do you have any notes? And then I said, because I wanted to get him out there. No, no, no, he's okay. No, Kevin, I have notes. And pooing his pants, he gave a half hour of notes.

Starting point is 00:53:03 Yeah. I have had the procedure a couple times because I'm an old guy. And they give you pictures. They give you pictures afterwards. And more than once I've asked my wife, should I Instagram this? No! No, do not do that!

Starting point is 00:53:18 It'd be so popular. It'd be so... Not as popular as Another One Loves on the Bus. What do you keep calling it? Another One Loves on the Bus. What do you keep calling it? Another One Loves on the Bus. Another One Loves on the Bus. I'm adding a word.

Starting point is 00:53:30 And changing a few, but it's all right. We get the gist. We get the general feel. Dave Foley and I, we always talked about ad nauseum. The people would tell us to shut up in the 80s and 90s, how funny your videos were. Because we're big fans of Buster Keaton, and the sight gags were amazing. Who thought of it Buster Keaton and the sight gags were amazing.

Starting point is 00:53:45 Did you think of the sight gags? Most of it. Yeah. So you're a comedian. I like the comedy. How did you get that talent and music? You thought of really great

Starting point is 00:53:59 video after video after video had amazing sight gags. Thanks. I don't know. Is that a question?. Well, thanks. I don't know. Is that a question? That's a question. I don't know the answer. Where do your ideas come from? Yeah, but I'm a comedian. I mean, you're a comedian. But you're two things.

Starting point is 00:54:17 My brain is split. I just listen to the voices in my head. I understand. Are you a Buster Keaton fan? Absolutely. In Amish Paradise, when the barn falls down, that's a total Buster Keaton steal. Right, right. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:54:32 I'm showing that where I live in Winnipeg for some reason next. I show a funny movie every month, and I'm showing that one. And you know Steamboat Bill Jr., where the wall falls on Buster Keaton? And everyone knows it was a real wall, right? And it would have killed him. But he got the best mathematicians in America to measure it out. I didn't have the best mathematicians.

Starting point is 00:54:48 I had some guy with green hair and a nose ring going, yeah, you'll be fine. No, no, literally. I mean, this was not CGI. It was a real literal barn wall that fell on me, barely missing my head. And it wasn't even just wood. They had to reinforce it with steel

Starting point is 00:55:04 so it wouldn't torque just wood. They had to reinforce it with steel so it wouldn't, like, torque and, like, miss the mark. So it was this, like, really, really, really would have killed me dead if I had, like, moved a few inches either way. And I was like, we're doing one take, and I'll try really hard not to act like I'm... I'm so scared right now! And they can't practice it with the dummies your height because that would ruin the wall right right wow it's a one-take thing but you're kidding please tell me you

Starting point is 00:55:29 really had mathematicians well i think he did some math but oh my god how many accolades and catchphrases can one podcast have las culturistas hosted by matt rogers and bow Yang, has been named to best of lists in Time, Esquire, Vulture, Time Out New York, and many more publications. And they are about to embark on a national tour early next year. Las Culturistas remains an absolute must listen week after week. And if you need proof, just check out this clip from their episode, Piss Sussy with a woman smiles patty harrison and after you listen follow at las culturistas on twitter to see if matt and bowen are coming to your hometown in 2019 roll that clip if you had all the money in the world as the pop star that is patty

Starting point is 00:56:16 what does your concert look like how does it start like who comes out like what's is there a story like what kind of fantastical aesthetic elements are we happening like if you could do a world tour like the 1989 tour or like Beyonce formation like what is the patty tour so my tour would um be called well let's not start there. Okay. Let's not start there. Let's actually say that it would be an audiovisual experience. Yes. There would be pre-filmed things. Yes. And there would be huge screens. Oh, wow.

Starting point is 00:56:54 This is different. And there would be lights. Lights that would come up. So the concert's about to start. Imagine. Okay. Concert's about to start. I can see it.

Starting point is 00:57:00 Everyone's just like, there's what is stadium is like 50,000 people. Yeah. Wow. And then the lights go out and everyone's like and then yeah and then some lights come on and then the screen comes on too and then i come out and then music is playing oh my god there's so much music playing everyone's dancing and and screaming. I come out. Dancers come out. They're dancing too. They're doing the routine. Painstakingly.

Starting point is 00:57:32 Painstakingly. Practice. I come out. I start singing a medley of my hits from my first album. Yes. And it's like a medley. Yes. But it's like in the key of another one of my hits and they're all

Starting point is 00:57:47 in the same key because it sets you up for the next song that you're going into in the medley yeah it's and this is like an amazing medley then my outfit also by the way looks beautiful oh my god to describe it everyone is like um people are taking pictures of it oh my god people are taking people thousands of people have their phones are people describing your outfit as like yes gag slay they say a gag people are saying gag are they screaming well one person actually is screaming a slur just like one person out there over all the screams of adoration. I can kind of hear one slur. And I'm like, I think I know what they're saying.

Starting point is 00:58:29 I think it's a slur. Yeah. But I'm like, I'm not trying to focus too much on it. So I'm like, I'm like focusing. And again, my choreography is slightly less intense than the dancers.

Starting point is 00:58:37 Right. I can fully focus on dancing and I need time to kind of vamp and like walk around. You can stop and like point here and there and be like, and then I point and I'm like, are you there and be like and then i i point and i'm like are you and i stop and there's also i'm not lip-syncing but there is a vocal track in the background it has the chorus on it and then the lead yeah and people are like oh and then i hear i hear like in the distance i hear like i hear like and i'm like wait not only did i hear a slur but i think i recognized the voice.

Starting point is 00:59:07 And I'm so like, we're going into my first. My first song is actually one off the new album. Oh, my God. Great. And it's like, it's a song that's like fast. Yeah. And then so it's like, yeah. And then it's like images. There's images that correspond with the song.

Starting point is 00:59:22 So the song is actually about uh moving on and then so that's going on and then a spotlight uh not planned a spotlight i'm like what is going on a spotlight goes to a crowd guess who is in the crowd ellen degeneres ellen degeneres that was it that really was it because we talked about her last time. Yeah. And she's erect. How big is her dick? It's 17 inches this time. This time it's 17 inches. It got bigger from last time?

Starting point is 00:59:53 Yeah. She did something. She got like an... She got a penile implant? Yes. Oh, no, no. A penectomy. A penectomy was when they removed the penis.

Starting point is 01:00:01 But she got a penile implant. She got a penectomy and then got her penis removed and then got a penoplasty and a african rhino horn in the place so actually when i said it was 17 inches it's actually closer to four and a half feet long and she's lancing my fans just like lancing my fans in the crowd. Like, oh, there's like a stack of my fans. Are you sad as you see this happening? I'm so sad.

Starting point is 01:00:30 I'm crying on stage. I'm like, stop the music. But they turned my mic off because she fucked it. No. So she talked to the tech people. She talked to the tech people. She's very powerful. That's when I realized that she talked to the tech people ahead of time. And's very powerful. That's when I realized that she talked to the tech people ahead of time.

Starting point is 01:00:46 And that is not, that was like, oh my God. And still the music. This is bigger than that. And then there's a part in the music where all the percussion drops. And it's just like, it's like this arpeggio of like harp. It's a beautiful part of the song. And I'm like, Ellen, get out of here. And she comes up on stage does a flip with

Starting point is 01:01:07 still about six of my fans stacked on her horn does a flip the centrifugal force of the flip flings the fans at me off of like and she's about she's flipping probably like 20 feet up in the air so it's like that's insane she can get that high? Yeah. Yeah, I know. It's like a full, and it's like, it's a really fast rotation. We don't know how powerful it is. But all the fans,

Starting point is 01:01:32 the fans have come towards you in the air. They smack into me, knock me down. Oh my God. And my big platform shoes break. No. Embarrassing. Embarrassing.

Starting point is 01:01:42 Embarrassing. So embarrassing. What an epic concert fail. Yeah, Jennifer Bowman, who's our cost costumer she's like made those shoes herself like special oh my god and so it's like did she get out of the arena huh did she get out of the arena oh jennifer bowman doesn't come to my shows because we have a bad relationship uh so then so that's the whole thing and then um so then by that time you're knocked out and the fans i guess are long dead by now yeah or at least several of them like six and maybe some that got injured in and during the

Starting point is 01:02:11 fray and they're like they're all mad they're like this is not what we came here to see so now but at this point they have all turned because they're mad and they're all saying tranny you tranny and i said stop it stop it and then that's when ellen turns to me no and guess what she fucking says no no what guess what she says what does she say she says? What does this say? She says, you are a bitch. And my heart breaks. Oh, my God. Because I believe it. And it's Ellen.

Starting point is 01:02:51 It's Ellen. And at this point- She is a hero. She's obviously- A hero of mine. In that moment, like, she's gotten everyone to turn on you. They obviously have taken sides with her, even though they've killed probably some of the people that they know.

Starting point is 01:03:03 Yeah. They start killing- I mean, the fans are so mad screaming tranny. They start killing each other. Killing each other. This is so serious. Just so you know, just so you know at my tours,

Starting point is 01:03:12 all my fans are cis because I won't let trans people in. I don't like trans people. You're a TERF. I'm a TERF. You're a TERF. And it's TERFs only. Yeah, TERFs only.

Starting point is 01:03:22 Yeah, TERFs only. Trans-exclusionary radical feminists, for those of you who don't. Who aren't with it. And they're all straight. Beautiful, too. Straight, beautiful TERFs. Straight, cishet, beautiful, gorgeous TERFs. They're saying tranny, but also,

Starting point is 01:03:37 Ellen, I remember originated the pronunciation tranny. Tranny, yes, with an H and two Ns. T-R-O-N-N-E-I-G-H with an H. O-N-E-H. Trani. So they're screaming Trani, Trani. And she's like, hey, you know why I say

Starting point is 01:03:53 it that way? And I was like, oh, why, Ellen, this night couldn't get any worse. And she's like, because it's a play on pronunciation of the Vietnamese language, because I know you're Vietnamese too, you Trani. Just cut Steve or twist the knife she fucking she fucking puts that knife on a screwdriver let me tell you something about electric screwdriver yeah it's more than just twisting the knife i am

Starting point is 01:04:19 yeah yeah she really went there that's a went there. And that's a gorgeous tour. And that is literally just Stockholm where the tour starts. That's literally just the first leg of the tour. And talk about why Stockholm. What does Sweden mean to you? Why is that meaningful? Rich culture. A lot of amazing art.

Starting point is 01:04:38 The government in Sweden is just really progressive socially. The access to health care. The way people treat each other other even yeah um predominantly white blonde yes yes it's it's sort of easier when that matters it matters and a lot of amazing pop comes out of scandinavia of course pop but see the thing about sweden and the thing that it's it just it's a great case study in um homogenizing a people to more easily govern and more easily socialize and provide access if the people look the same it's easier you know yeah absolutely once you all look the same yeah then you all act the same yes then you all buy tickets to the same concert it's beautiful

Starting point is 01:05:22 that's a really good economy model. I disagree. Okay, but you're still like... Everything I said up until this point, I was setting up that you would say that so I would agree and then I changed my mind in real time. Okay, cool. And that's what people come to expect from my shows.

Starting point is 01:05:39 They're going to expect to, for example, get through it and live. Yeah. That might not be the case. Well, that's why they turned on each other yes well and the tour is called cis hats only it's radical turf beautiful turf yeah it's called beautiful turf colon cis heads only uh uh colon uh uh dharma and greg live for one night only. And they're there. The actors who play Dharma and Greg are there.

Starting point is 01:06:07 Oh my God. What? Jenna Elfman? Yeah. Jenna Elfman. Famous Scientologist? Famous Scientologist. And I give her like a 20 minute platform

Starting point is 01:06:16 in the middle of the show just to talk about Scientology. And she's like really charismatic about it because she's like, I know it's so crazy. You guys probably think I'm crazy. Yeah. It really is. A lot of it's so's so stupid right like really luring people in with that disarming disarming disarming yeah she's like you know what might be fun what if you just like

Starting point is 01:06:33 took some friends and you went to like the church of scientology as a joke because the doors are always open you should see how like crazy stupid some of the decoration is it's so gaudy and everyone's like haha that's so funny and but it's like under the guise of like, oh yeah, come see how stupid this thing is. And then- But it's 50,000 people. I'm like, they're gonna go. And they all go.

Starting point is 01:06:52 And how many of them fall for it? Hmm? How many of them fall for it? Did you not hear me? Wait, are you- I said they all. All of them? But I know all of them go,

Starting point is 01:07:03 but how many stay? How many sign on the dotted line when it comes push comes to shove? Well, when push comes to shove, joke's on you bitch, they were all already Scientologists because it's also Scientologists only. Yeah. Only beautiful Scientologists

Starting point is 01:07:20 who are also TERFs. Cishet. It's called Beautiful TERFs colon Cishet. It's called Beautiful TERFs colon Cishet only colon Drummer and Greg Live One Night Only colon Scientologist only. Yes. The newest addition to Forever Dog is this next podcast, The Very Funny Mall Talk, hosted by comedians and L.A. mall aficionados Emily Fay and Paige Weldon, who do not think that hanging out at the mall should stop in adulthood. Each episode, a guest joins them to discuss classic stores, mall memories, and recent mall-going adventures. In the following clip, Emily and Paige talk to comedian Solomon Giorgio about Cinnabon,

Starting point is 01:07:56 JCPenney, and so much more. So then you never went back to Macy's? No. But I did eat at Cinnabon every day. Okay. I used to do the worst thing ever, because Cinnabon every day. Okay. I used to do the worst thing ever because Cinnabon had, they had those, they had the particular ones, which was like the pecan one. And also, I don't think they have anymore.

Starting point is 01:08:14 They actually had a root beer milkshake. Oh, that sounds good. Oh, yeah. So I'd have. We had the same exact reaction to that. Oh. So what I would do is order both of those things at the same time every day oh yeah every day well within those three days that i was working there and many times before

Starting point is 01:08:31 and after uh until they no longer serve the root beer oh i thought you're gonna say until they would no longer serve you they were like excuse me sir you are cut off we can see how soft your teeth are now we have a moral responsibility even vibrating for the last 30 minutes and i need you to stop oh my wait so where else did you work um i'm trying to remember all the places that i worked because i had a lot of jobs at the time and i that i would quit uh in dramatic ways um because i did work at a jc penny but it wasn't at that mall it was at um oh my god it was alderwood mall i think it was called oh i can't remember it's in lynwood washington which is in north uh seattle um and i worked with jc pennies there there was a jc pennies at northgate which i went to many times did you used to shop at jc oh so many times it's

Starting point is 01:09:22 my mom's favorite place to buy her kids presents till this very day i'm pretty sure she's currently in that jc penny trying to see if i want an oversized tweety bird shirt or and you do just in case small pair of boxers no she buys me briefs that's tidy whities she never knows my size it's always a double xl or the smallest and you're like who who have you met me before i do feel like jc penny is also like in my mind such my mom's like department store where it's like i feel like it's like macy's is a little more like elevate it's like a little fancier jc penny it's like mom's like i'm going to. I'm getting a deal, in my mind. Oh, yeah. Is that where all, like, your school clothes and stuff came from? No.

Starting point is 01:10:07 No. I wish. It was mostly Ross and Marshalls, also at the mall. I mean, we love Marshalls. Marshalls is definitely a cleaner Ross, but it's really, again, not a... I mean, Ross I will enter if there's an emergency of some kind kind where I simply can't get to a Marshalls. But it's a war zone. It's crazy in there.

Starting point is 01:10:29 But I'll tell you this right now. When it comes to home goods, Ross is crushing the game. I recently bought a teapot there. Ross is where the great deals are in home goods. No one goes and that's part of the Ross. So it's not decimated yet. I feel like that is the one part of Ross, whereas Marshalls overall, I'm like, great.

Starting point is 01:10:49 Everything's great. Everything's great, but Marshalls doesn't have good deals on home goods. I was in Marshalls recently looking for a teapot, and I was like, most of these teapots are like $25. Disrespectful to the game. Yeah, why am I even here? Might as well go to Williams-Sonoma and spend big bucks on a teapot.

Starting point is 01:11:09 Look, I'm just saying if you have a store, I shouldn't be able to buy three shirts for the same price as a teapot. It's weird. I don't understand why that's going on. But I did then immediately go into Ross and get one for $12. I got a beautiful red one

Starting point is 01:11:24 for $4.99. That's amazing3.99? Oh, you could. I got one. I got a beautiful red one for $4.99. That's amazing. I actually also need a tea kettle. We'll report back. Yeah, check into the Ross. See what you find. The one in Pasadena. Is very good.

Starting point is 01:11:34 That's the best one. All right. Also the cleanest one. Oh, I haven't been in. Most of the clothes in that one are on the rack. Oh, wow. That is something to be said. Trampled on the floor.

Starting point is 01:11:44 Yeah, that's crazy but i've only been there when it first opened at 10 a.m so ah sure i can't speak for an afternoon i can't imagine um but actually even i mean i remember one time because we went to ross so many times that i pooped my pants at a ross and everyone was like, correct. It seems right. And my mother refused to buy me new pants. Oh no! Why? The only time that anyone's ever been like, I need to buy pants at Ross. I need to.

Starting point is 01:12:14 Was it like, I don't want to buy pants right now? Or was it like, sit in your mistake. It was. So it won't happen again. I truly wish my mother had that decency in her. Where where she was like I can't afford this we can't no no no it was more like no

Starting point is 01:12:30 you do this on purpose which is like who shits their pants on purpose there's no winning part of that you're not getting anything out of it believe it or not and it's like you're gonna have to be in the car with me on the ride back home. This hurts all of us for everybody.

Starting point is 01:12:51 Listening to Mary Hula hands. A little podcast is like being stuck in a blender of early nineties FM radio. That sounds like a quote, but I just came up with it. Every time you listen to Mary Hula hands, a little podcast, it's something different. A morning talk show,

Starting point is 01:13:04 an advice show, a game show, a makeover show, a call-in show, a call-out show. All from the mind of Mary Houlihan. Plus commercials like this one. Hey, the big concert's on the beach. Let's go. But wait, I have to eat all these tacos. Just put them in your pants. You ever go on a run and reach into your pocket for a taco, but it's all cold? No way!

Starting point is 01:13:25 Taco pants are special pants with foil-insulated pockets that keep your tacos warm all day. I'm in love with the taco! Pants. Taco pants. Now available with sour cream. This next podcast was named 2018's Best Podcast for Aspiring Comedians by Vulture. Not because it talks about how to succeed but about how to fail the need to fail with don finale features comedians and entertainers at the top

Starting point is 01:13:49 of their game talking about all the roles they didn't get all the shows they bombed all the times they ate shit and their dreams felt more elusive than ever and how they persevered through those times in the following clip don talks with comedian writer and improviser neil casey so you kept your car you have your car in new york still my car in new york and then i have 30 days to figure out like where i'm going to live and what's going on and the answer was ended up being that um i lived nowhere for five months wow um and uh uh i packed i threw away a ton shit. I got a storage unit over on the West side highway for the stuff I kept that wasn't in my car.

Starting point is 01:14:29 Wow. And, and then I was homeless for, from April of 2012 until September of 2012 or mid August of 2012. When I moved into Nick coachcher's room that I rented with Grant O'Brien and Mary and Len and some good people there. And part of it was like I called it a – what was that? I could say it's like a controlled homelessness.

Starting point is 01:14:56 Because my thinking was if I can just – there's some places I needed to be, including the Torcorip to South Carolina, Williamstown Theater Festival, where I teach improv classes in the summertime. My family rents a beach house in June. So there was like, if I could just cover these weeks, then I basically wouldn't need to pay rent for like, I thought like three months. It ended up being like a little over four. What did you do?

Starting point is 01:15:24 How did you do this? Where did you stay? I stayed at my brother's a little bit, a couple nights. But he just had a bedroom. Did people know? Did you tell anybody about this? The people I asked to stay with, I did. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:15:38 But nobody else knew. Nobody else knew. Because Heinz and I were doing our show then, too. So anytime Heinz and I would do Small Men, I would stay at his house the night before. And I'd sleep there. And then we would... But did you tell him? I don't have a place...

Starting point is 01:15:50 Okay. Yeah, he knew. Like, my closest friends knew. Right. And I would say, Heinz stayed at my brother's. I stayed at Dan Black's one time. I stayed at Bluff Band's one time. Right.

Starting point is 01:16:00 These are all people right in Manhattan, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gotcha. Kind of keeping it honest that way. I lived at the green point ymca for a little while uh-huh with a lot of old with a lot of old guys um where are you mentally during this how are you are you determined or are you like fucking low well i was throwing i in in retrospect i believe that what i was doing was i was eliminating absolutely everything that I had going on in my life so that I could reboot the few things that I think would actually work. Another very exciting addition to Forever Dog this year was the beloved cold sensation podcast, The Ride, a show about theme parks hosted by three childless men in their thirties,

Starting point is 01:16:46 Mike Carlson, Jason Sheridan, and Scott Gairdner. This year podcast, the ride accomplished perhaps the most impressive feat in all of comedy podcasting, releasing an 18 episodes in 18 days series about Hollywood's universal city walk.

Starting point is 01:17:00 That was rightly named best mini series of 2018 by vulture. And here is a clip from that very series, The CityWalk Saga. And let's clarify, this series is about CityWalk at Universal Hollywood, not CityWalk at Universal Orlando. Right. That is an entirely different entity. We will not speak about that at all. At all.

Starting point is 01:17:21 This is only for Hollywood, and yes, now... That is also lovely. It's a lovely place. Yeah. Well, in an endeavor like this requires rules and parameters. Yes. Right. And which is why, you know, we've carefully caged ourselves in with the 19 part system.

Starting point is 01:17:39 And where did 19 come from? I feel like because they aren't necessarily all even in the amounts of stores and restaurants. But I think 19 is a perfect number. And I don't want to question perfection. But if we had to analyze what is it about 19, why is that the perfect amount? You know, one of the impetuses for doing this is that we met a guy. I think a guy almost undervalues what he is. A mentor figure, maybe?

Starting point is 01:18:12 Or a voice of authority? Boys. Oh, yeah, he's here. A sector keeper? You know who could have said it better? Themselves. The man, the being himself. So, yeah yeah joining us today

Starting point is 01:18:26 on the podcast is uh we call him the sector keeper he keeps the different sectors of city walk universal city walk sector keeper please of course universal city walk hollywood sector keeper actually if i may correct you i'm so sorry my spirit can't cross the country yeah yeah start to dissipate when you hit the Mississippi. I lose strength, yes. So when we talk about 19 sectors, this is sort of a number that's been around for as long as time. Like the number 23, the significant number of the Jim Carrey film.

Starting point is 01:18:58 19 exists in many different codes, and it's embedded secretly all over the CityWalk property. That's fair to say, correct? Yes, yes. That's another World League meaning. CityWalk is a powerful place, a magical place. Right. And so you must divide it into sectors.

Starting point is 01:19:17 To experience more than a sector provides would be dangerous. Yes. A sector provides Would be dangerous Yes If we have too much fun And too much discussion About like Maybe say Two sectors at once It would be too much For sort of a normal Mortal man

Starting point is 01:19:30 Or woman to handle So that's why We've divided it up Into different sectors Because if we were to talk About all of CityWalk at once Who knows what would happen I don't know

Starting point is 01:19:38 We would Just be exhausted You know Or we'd be here all day All week And many people In this city or visiting los angeles from other cities have gone up to city walk and i can only imagine i mean there's no

Starting point is 01:19:53 there's no wrong way to do city walk but there's also a perfect way to do it and and it seems to me sector keeper that uh the by laying out the divine sectors, you are providing your ideal way of experiencing this mall. I would call it a perfect sort of roadmap. Yes, look at it as a roadmap. A roadmap that will provide you many things. Discoveries of popcorn. Okay. Popcornopolis. Discoveries of board shorts. Okay. At Popcornopolis.

Starting point is 01:20:25 Ah. Discoveries of board shorts. Oh, okay. At Billabong. Discoveries of watches at Fossil. Oh, okay. Discoveries of water massages at Zen Zone. Ooh.

Starting point is 01:20:36 Okay. And discoveries of well-priced women's fashion at Angel. Oh, just like scarves and stuff? Yes, like scarves and dresses. But at a reasonable price. But at a reasonable price, yes. Fashion forward, but a reasonable price. And that is your first sector.

Starting point is 01:20:54 Okay, that's sector one. Sector one. Sector one. Billabong, Popcornopolis, Fossil, Zen Zone, and Angel. My boys. Were your boys not? Venture into the sector. Discuss, but be careful. If you go outside of the sector, my spirit will burn in hell.

Starting point is 01:21:13 Wait, what? Oh, no. Spit out the drink I had in my mouth. Really? That's what's at stake here? Yes. Each sector will help piece together my soul. Oh, wow wow Once you accomplish

Starting point is 01:21:26 Each sector You will get a sector stone Okay 19 sector stones Make up My soul Oh my god Wow

Starting point is 01:21:36 So please go forth Be careful And I'll be here Watching over you As your guardian Guardian Guardian So we're like

Starting point is 01:21:41 Setting you free Sorry to bring you back Real quick Yes I'm still here So we're setting you free So yeah You can hang out we're like setting you free? Sorry to bring you back real quick. Oh, yes. I'm still here. So we're setting you free? So, yeah, like you can hang out, but like we're setting you free, basically. Yes. Is it like Casper where like you have unfinished business or?

Starting point is 01:21:53 Yes, I have unfinished business in the city walk. Okay. I can't get into the details. I'll tell you more as you discover more. Okay. All right. Great. Just know that I will go to hell if you don't do this. Okay. Well, that's a lot to put on us. Okay. All right. Great. Just know that I will go to hell if you don't do this.

Starting point is 01:22:05 Okay. Well, that's a lot to put on us. Huh? Perhaps no podcast has followed a more bizarre and self-destructive trajectory than the podcast for laundry. Originally pitched to us as a podcast to do your laundry to, we honestly had no idea what we were getting into. Over the course of the last year, host and laundry obsessive Brett Davis has been arrested during a live recording, gotten married to a bottle of Tide detergent, and pissed off pretty much every guest that has been unfortunate enough

Starting point is 01:22:34 to be booked on the show. Guests including Janine Garofalo, Wyatt Cenac, Tom Sharpling, Bridie Elliott, and Chris Gethard. Please tolerate the following clip featuring Awful Brett and the wonderful Sashir Zameda. You know what I do? I've got, um,

Starting point is 01:22:48 if you see my, my belt, I've got, it looks like a little, like a 90s cell phone holder. Yeah. It's kind of thick, but I jam packed Tide Pods.

Starting point is 01:22:54 Oh, wow. That's very convenient. Like, you know how people walk around with dog treats. I'm sort of like that, but with Tide Pods. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:23:01 That's great. Do you like hand them out to strangers or just use them for yourself? To strangers? For myself? Whatever. Sometimes I check in on a laundromat and I just pop my head and say, everything okay in here? Yeah. That's really nice of you. It's never happened, but if someone's like,

Starting point is 01:23:17 I forgot my laundromat. I forgot my card. Now I don't have my detergent. I'd be like, hey. And I'd toss them a Tide Pod. Wow. That's like a commercial. Yeah. For Tide Pods.

Starting point is 01:23:30 I'd be worried that they would melt. Do you do commercials? I don't. Well, yeah, I do. I used to do more than I do now. But yes. Do you know any advertising agencies? Not like...

Starting point is 01:23:45 I don't have good relationships with anybody I know of. Some. Are you looking for sponsorship? Well, yeah. I was tried. But I think I have a lot of great laundry detergent commercial ideas.

Starting point is 01:24:00 I'm sure you do. There was one commercial I auditioned for. Actually, for Tide. I didn't get it, but i auditioned for actually for tide i didn't get it but i auditioned for it and uh it was like a mom role where you had to like be with a kid who was messy and um those auditions with other kids are always weird because you don't know the kid but their mom is there and you're like trying to like convince them to like chill out and be okay with this new adult in this very strange situation interesting there was one i did for loves where i had to hold

Starting point is 01:24:30 a baby and that was very strange and it like a live baby i had to hold a live baby and they were like the casting people were asking me questions like do you like kids do you like being with kids and i'm like holding it as far away as possible. Like, yeah, this is a blast for me. And it wasn't cause it was wet. It was a very wet baby. Most babies are wet. Was it one baby that kind of being passed around all day? I think they had multiple babies being passed around.

Starting point is 01:24:56 I think that one, that baby maybe did a couple auditions and then they're like, okay, we get, we get what that baby's deal is. And then they bring in another baby. Do you still have your sides? I don't.

Starting point is 01:25:07 No. Oh. That would have been a fun segment. Yeah. Sorry. That's like sort of living your dream. Yeah. I mean, I've done other stuff since then, but.

Starting point is 01:25:18 I could be the baby. You could hold me like a little baby. No. You're a little bigger than a baby. Well, yeah, but I could like a little baby. No. You're a little bigger than a baby. Well, yeah, but I could be a little baby. I need my laundry done. The baby didn't have lines. It was just the adult that had the lines.

Starting point is 01:25:37 So the baby just sat there. Coo. I could coo. You could. Do you want to improv this? Okay, yeah, let's do it. Okay. Wow.

Starting point is 01:25:47 Should I get in your lap? No, you can stay right there. Okay. And we'll just pretend that you are in my lap. Okay. All right. As a busy mom, I don't have time to just clean up all the time. When I'm on the go. When I'm on the go when i'm on the go and my and my son's on the go i use loves

Starting point is 01:26:13 yeah that seems great yeah that was really great good what do you use loves what's love is the diaper company oh i thought we were doing a laundry commercial. Oh, let's go back and do a laundry commercial. Please. Sure. Okay. Thanks. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:26:32 I'm a busy mom, and I don't have time to just run around and pick up my kids' clothes all the time. As you can see, little Herbert gets very upset often. So when I need to get my kids' clothes ready to go... There's a reason for this. Okay. When I need to get my kids' clothes ready to go, I use Tide. Oh, see? Look how happy he is now that. I use Tide. Oh, see? Look how happy he is now that I'm using Tide.

Starting point is 01:27:10 Tide Pod. Those were your first words. Tide Pod. Oh, don't eat it. Tide Pod. Don't eat it, sweetie. Wow, that was great. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:27:27 I wish there was a casting director here, because that would have been amazing. Well, we could just send this. You know, they do radio ads. This is true. Yeah. Maybe this could be on Spotify. Imagine if you don't have the Spotify premium, and you're just kind of going through your day, and then you hear that in between your workout playlist or something.

Starting point is 01:27:48 Yeah. It'd be so exciting. It'd be so exciting. You're like, wow, maybe I should get tied. Is that Sashir? Is that Brett? Well, they're doing well. Yeah. One of two podcasts at Forever Dog hosted by the prolific duo of Lindsay K. Tai and Kelly Nugent,

Starting point is 01:28:05 Public Domain Theater started out as a bonus episode and has since grown into one of the most rewarding and bingeable back catalogs in the comedy podcast universe. Public Domain Theater is like Masterpiece Theater meets Mystery Science Theater 3000. Lindsay Kelly and their guests read a classic or not so classic work of literature from the public domain and interrupt it with hilarious commentary. If you're looking for an episode to start with, try Sherwood Anderson's The Egg with guest Rhea Butcher,

Starting point is 01:28:30 Bram Stoker's The Doulatists with guest Mary Holland, named one of IndieWire's best podcast episodes of 2018, or Irving E. Cox's Love Story with guest Nick Weiger, which is where this clip comes from. True to yourself, George found a strange comfort in the words, and his fear was gone. He squared his shoulders and faced the mouth of her gun. True to yourself. That was something worth dying for. He saw a flicker of emotion in the old woman's eyes. Admiration?

Starting point is 01:28:58 He couldn't be sure. For at the moment, a shot rang out from the end of the corridor, and the top director fell back, nursing a hand suddenly bright with blood wait my what did somebody else shoot her a rove roving band or is it jenny oh no no no don't do this let him him go. No! It was Jenny's voice. No, no, no! Jenny! Jenny! She was sheltered by a partly open door at the foot of the stairway.

Starting point is 01:29:33 No, no, no. Don't be a fool, the old woman replied. He's seen too much. It doesn't matter. Who would believe him? You're upset. You don't realize he's mine and I want him. The director will give you a refund of the purchase price.

Starting point is 01:29:49 Oh, my God. You didn't understand me. I don't want one of your pretty automatons. Anybody can buy them for a few shares of stock. I want a man, a real man. Oh, God. I want to belong to him. He belongs to you. Watching a horror movie.

Starting point is 01:30:08 You bought him. No. And that's what's wrong. We really belong to each other. Oh, this is so cheesy. An old woman glanced at George and he saw the flame flicker of feeling in her eyes. Oh. And tears, tears of regret.

Starting point is 01:30:27 Why? We have you outnumbered, the old woman said quietly to Jenny. I don't care. I have a gun. I'll use it as long as I'm able. Oh my God. The moral squad raised their weapons. The director shook her head imperiously and they snapped to attention again.

Starting point is 01:30:40 If you take him from us, she called out to Jenny, you'll be outlawed. We'll hunt you down if we can. I want him, Jenny persisted. I don't care about the rest of it. The old woman nodded at George. He couldn't believe that she meant it. The director was on her home ground in her headquarters building backed by an armed squad of stone-faced Amazons.

Starting point is 01:30:58 She had no reason to let him go. She walked beside him as he moved down the hall. When they were 20 feet from the guard, she closed her thin hand on his arm. Her eyes swam with tears and she whispered,

Starting point is 01:31:11 Punch me. There truly is a love potion. Not this nonsense we bottle here, but something real and very worthwhile. You and this girl have found it.

Starting point is 01:31:22 I know that from the way she talks. She doesn't say anything about ownership and that's as it should be as it has to be for any of us to be happy hold tight to that all the rest of your life don't ever believe in words don't fall for any more love stories believe what you feel deep inside what you know yourself to be true you men who learn to break away are our only hope i'm sorry who's talking right now this is the old woman who's been shot why did she all of a sudden change her mind i don't know she's

Starting point is 01:31:53 flipped 180 most of us don't see that yet i do i know what it used to be like someday there may which so she's like over 90 years old? Yeah. Someday there may be enough men with the stamina to take back the place of dominance that we stole from them. Oh my God! We thought we wanted it. For decades before, we had been screaming about women's rights. No! Oh my God.

Starting point is 01:32:21 This is horrible. This is the scariest job I've ever been in. This is a nightmare. This is horrible. This is the scariest story I've ever read. This is a nightmare. This is horrible. This is horrible. This book, this story. Her thin lips twisted in a steer and she spat her disgust. Finally, we took what we wanted and it turned to ashes in our hands.

Starting point is 01:32:42 We made our men play things. We made them slaves. And after that, they weren't men anymore. I thought she was shot. Why is she talking so long? I don't know. I hate this. But what we stole isn't the sort of thing you can hand back on a silver platter. You men have to get enough courage to take it away from us. Oh my god!

Starting point is 01:33:06 Her grip tightened on his arm. There's a fire door at the end of the hall. If you push the emergency button, you'll close it. That will give you a five or ten minute start. I can't help you anymore. They were abreast of Jenny. She seized Jenny's hand and thrust it into his. Beat it, kids. What?

Starting point is 01:33:22 There's a bachelor camp on the north ridge. You can make it. A bachelor camp. And from here on in, what he says goes, the old woman added. No! No! No!

Starting point is 01:33:35 Are you kidding me? Don't forget it. Oh, no. One of 2018's fastest-growing podcasts, an absolute phenomenon that's just getting started please enjoy the following clip from race chaser an episode by episode discussion dissection and dissemination of rupaul's drag race hosted by the franchise's very own golden child and prodigal son alaska thunderfuck and willem and if you live in the los angeles area do not miss race chasers very first live show

Starting point is 01:34:05 taking place Friday, January 11th at the Theater at the Ace Hotel. Tickets on sale now at racechasertickets.com. Now for this challenge, for the first time, there's a live studio audience and a fake band. The band is definitely fake because you could tell it's the track and then you're like, okay. I love a fake band. Nowadays, they would have the pit crew doing it in their underwear. Oh, for sure. With no shoes. Yeah. It's very rocker.

Starting point is 01:34:30 No shoes. No shoes. Yeah, for sure. I don't want to see a sock on the go-go boys. Go-go boys, please keep your socks on. The health department's coming by tonight. Matching socks, please, tonight. No holes.

Starting point is 01:34:46 What'd you say? So the girls The basic rundown is I think from Kind of like top to bottom Jessica surprises and really delivers And is confident Pandora's voice is kind of But like she's you know doing her like Rock moves

Starting point is 01:35:03 Hey now you're an all star get your game on I think she looked cute Yeah she's, you know, doing her, like, rock moves. Yeah. Hey, now you're an all-star. Get your game on. Go play. I think she looked cute. Yeah, she's kind of Smash Mouth. She had the crimpy hair and, like, she's giving rocker. And she characterizes. She's giving me Lindsay Lohan mall rocker from Freaky Friday. Exactly.

Starting point is 01:35:18 That hair could have been teased out. She could have had, like, a couple scabs. But, you know, she's clean, concise package. Yes. She demands an ovation as she walks out and peels off one piece of sequin dot fabric Honey we've all done it I've never demanded applause I've never demanded applause

Starting point is 01:35:33 But I've done the sequin dot reveal I know I've done shows with you Ding Anyway I'm not dissing it No one sees this reveal coming. I'm wearing just a sheet of fabric. No one knows that I'm going to take this off.

Starting point is 01:35:51 I know, right? I'm keeping this on for the whole show. The whole show. I think any time that you have to go out for a challenge and you have to get an audience ready that has been sitting, come on, clap your hands. It's always like a risk because they could always just to cut to the audience giving nooch yeah also keep in mind

Starting point is 01:36:10 this audience has to watch how many queens sing the same exact song uh six wow seven times in a row which okay it's gonna be hard to get that audience going for sure um sahara actually forgets some of the lyrics um but tati adds her own she gets some chanting t-a-t-i bitch tati turns the party every time she's a great performer raven too raven does really well not surprisingly and she's got a little something that for me is like a wet cotton ball pulling apart. There's just a thin strip of panty over a padded ass. And to me, that's just like, I don't know. The padded patio ass with a thong over it is a rare thrilling moment. It's a very Inland Empire moment.

Starting point is 01:36:57 The girls do it. Morgan does it. Raven does it raven does it it doesn't to me resemble a real ass enough for it to be like for it to have the impact that a thong is supposed to have yeah i'm not saying put on depends but put on a light panty a french cut a brief you know it yes it draws attention to the wrong area it's like oh okay that's you know it's it's more for drag queens than it is for like the audience sure because it doesn't it doesn't i mean and raven like keeps turning around like showing her ass off and it's like it's like a like a um like a loaf of bread with like a piece

Starting point is 01:37:39 of tape over the middle it's not it doesn't resemble an ass. And the seam from the pantyhose is off center. That happens. Okay, I'm not going to knock off points for that. Girl, presentation. I'm not going to knock off points for that. Points for the presentation. Anyway, but she fares well. Rue's living because she looks like Rue's baby stepdaughter. She has a tattoo of Jinx Monsoon

Starting point is 01:38:00 on her forearm as well. She looks like Terry Nunn. She's selling it. They love it. She has Terry Nunn's hair on, basically. And I believe that's an exposed corset. Ding! Ding! 100%. Exposed corset!

Starting point is 01:38:16 Now we do it every episode of season 2. Tyra is dressed like Beyonce does rock, basically. That wig has been around the world at this point. It has multiple stamps. That Morgan McMichael's All Stars promo wig has been around the world. For sure.

Starting point is 01:38:32 And she's giving Beyonce choreography, codography. She walks backwards like Beetlejuice at one point and says, I'm going to do this. If you are, this is a case of the clothes are, are taking over. And it's, it's especially for rock and roll. It's supposed to be about connection with the audience. Visceral in the moment free,

Starting point is 01:38:56 but she's like, I'm doing this thing with the co and I'm not singing the words where they go at all. Yeah. She was in her own, she marched into her own band. Yeah. And I was on a one-person loop in her head. Yeah. But she had immunity.

Starting point is 01:39:12 She did. So she was vulnerable. She made mistakes. She learned from it, probably. Probably. Yeah. And she's very thankful for it, I bet. Thank you for your critique.

Starting point is 01:39:24 Sketch comedy and podcasting are an absolute match made in heaven. Thank you for your critique. comedians. One of our favorites was Starless Summers, a sketch about an unfortunate cruise ship entertainer written by Jesse Esparza and Cat Pilardi, performed by Cat Pilardi, and presented here in its entirety. Hello ladies and gentlemen I hope you're having fun on the S.S. Infinity cruise ship to Fort Lauderdale, Florida I'm your cruise ship singer Starla Summers And I've been singing on this deck for nine

Starting point is 01:40:19 Hours straight, no breaks And my skin Is literally burning off My. This girl is on fire. Now, Gora Glamour, if you're out there, please come and relieve me. Oh, she's got her head in the clouds. She's burning it down. This girl is on fire. I'm talking about me. I am on fire. This is the crowd for help. But enough about me.

Starting point is 01:40:54 Does anyone in the audience have any sunscreen? Blankets? Hats? One hat. Anybody with a hat? Oh, I'll come to you. Yay! Yay! Mama's got a brand new hat.

Starting point is 01:41:08 Ow! Ow! Ow! Oh, everything hurts to the touch. Jesus. Can't wear a hat. All right, never mind. That is the most pain. This scalp is on. Well, you get what I'm doing.

Starting point is 01:41:24 How are you guys enjoying the cruise? Now, let's not forget the SS Infinity is your destination cruise ship and ranked in the top five shrimp buffets in the Western Hemisphere for a cruise ship. Thank you, Time Magazine. Yay! Oh, I'm going to sit down. Because, baby, I'm feeling dizzy. Ah!

Starting point is 01:41:54 How did my asshole get burned? Oh, no, no, no, no. Oh, how about a joke? Here we go. If I don't die of an intense sunburn today, I will definitely develop melanoma. Or at the very least, basal cell carcinoma because skin cancer runs in my family. Who wants a conga line? Oh, but a conga.

Starting point is 01:42:19 Come on up. Yeah, let's start a conga line Hands right on the shoulders there Oh, my shoulders My arms Oh, my eyes Oh, no No

Starting point is 01:42:37 Get the fuck off my face Get the fuck, who the fuck Yeah And we're back You know what it is Who the fuck? Yeah. We're back. You know what it is? It's like I woke up in the middle of surgery and I could feel all the pain.

Starting point is 01:42:56 Okay, enough about me. I hear we have a corporate team from you on board today. Can you give me a hey, Starla? Hey, Starla. Yeah, and we got the Bumpkin family from the back hills of Georgia. Can I get a hey, Starla?

Starting point is 01:43:12 Hey, Starla. Now, are there any doctors or nurses on board? Because I'm pretty deep in heat stroke here. I'm smelling burnt toast. Come on, doctor, doctor. Give me the news. I got a bad case of loving you. Come on, a bad case of skin.

Starting point is 01:43:30 Peeling right off my body here. Woo! Ew. I'm feeling kind of shaky here. Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo. Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo. I don't know how much time I have here. But more importantly, we have some newlyweds on board today. I don't know how much time I have here.

Starting point is 01:43:49 But more importantly, we have some newlyweds on board today. Yes, we do. We got some newlyweds. Now, welcome to you. Diane, this goes out to you from Richard. Just going to walk right off the stage here. That is a drop. A three-foot drop. Down off the lip of the stage.

Starting point is 01:44:08 Okay. It's for the way you look at me. Oh, it's for the only one. I'm so sad. I thought I would be with my family when I died. Happy marriage. happy marriage good night forever oh

Starting point is 01:44:31 she's dead next up is relatively healthy jenny stoller's podcast about health sex wellness dating and self-care. This year, Janie has conducted some of the most honest and revealing interviews that you will ever hear on a comedy podcast, covering topics such as breast cancer, body acceptance, grief, plastic surgery, polyamory, addiction, heart transplants, mental illness, and menstrual products. Definitely one of the highlights of Relatively Healthy this year was Janie's two-part series on abortion, which included this clip with guest Kim Kalish. When you're trying to defend abortion, you try to make it seem like it's not that big of a deal so it doesn't feel scary.

Starting point is 01:45:17 Yes. And that's fair and that's fine. But for me, I got lost in it because all I was hearing from people who are pro-choice is like, it's fine. It doesn't matter. It's fine. I don't regret it. And, you know, I'm two years out. And that first due date that came through, I was a mess over.

Starting point is 01:45:37 I had to go take a hike up a mountain with my dog. And I just left for the day. I was like, peace out. I need to go do this. And sometimes I still do the math of how old that kid would be if I had kept it and I go through it and I still think about it.

Starting point is 01:45:55 And I never question my decision, but I always think, what if I had made a different decision? So in the battle of abortion, that seems to get really lost. And I just wish, I know there's got to be more women than just me thinking about it. So, and I would think that I'm probably in the majority. It's just that there's such a shame because we all live in the shadows that we don't know

Starting point is 01:46:17 how to talk about it. Yeah. You know? And we're scared of pissing people off too, I think a lot of the time. I mean, there's also what you're saying is interesting because if there's a pressure to scream, you know, and some people they're just naturally wired like this or they feel this way. They want to scream about it. They love it. It's the best thing that they ever did. No complicated feelings. But if we also want

Starting point is 01:46:38 to talk to people who don't necessarily understand it, sometimes I feel like we're all having different conversations. Like there's just not people who are pro-choice and anti-choice sometimes are just not talking about the same thing. Like they're not talking about the same experience, the same type of story. So by being able to fill in those blanks with all the stories, as many as possible, actual experiences, I feel like that does a lot of service to, you know, just like undo some of those huge divides. Yeah, I would agree with that.

Starting point is 01:47:11 I also think that society as whole, but also women, we hold women up to such a high moral standard that's much higher than men. Oh, yeah. We can't mess up. And so. And we represent all women. Right. One thing you do means everything for everybody.

Starting point is 01:47:30 Right. So you tend to get the extremes on both sides and you just lose nuance. And I don't know one topic or conversation in this world that doesn't have nuance, you know. And I just, I don't know. Yeah. I don't think I'll ever be the person that's screaming at the top of my lungs that i've had an abortion but like i'll sit down and talk to

Starting point is 01:47:49 anybody who will have it you know and i just feel like there's a huge majority in there that we just don't get talked about all that much yeah and then that just keeps propelling the stigma forward because then it's shut out and then if if the one in three, where are their voices? So I'm not going to add mine either. Right. Well, also take it from a, if you take it from a pro-life stance, if all you see are women screaming about they, how they don't care, but you believe that life begins at conception, I totally understand why you would think they were crazy. You think they're screaming how proud they are to kill a baby. Right. Totally. Right. And so you lack the ability to ever have a conversation with them if there isn't a group of people saying, no, hang on, hang on. I do believe I had a baby

Starting point is 01:48:33 and I had to make this horrific choice and it was rough, but I had to make this choice. And I can't make that choice for you and you can't make that choice for me. There are few podcasts that make better use of sound and atmosphere than the very cool, very trippy Sassy Tarot hosted by Veronica Osorio. Described as an audio journey through the world of the tarot, Veronica provides interactive readings, explains the meaning of the cards and how to interpret them, shares unforgettable stories from her life, and brings on guests for live readings. And all the while, she's accompanied by a live improvised soundtrack courtesy of musician Peter Mark Kendall.

Starting point is 01:49:11 Sassy Tarot is a truly unique listening experience. Just listen to this clip featuring Beyond's very own Mike Kelton. My angel experiences have been, I don't know, a lot. I got, I had a terrible, I was going to do this work. I was hired as an actress for this high level thing. And I had a terrible, random, like out of nowhere fight with the producer. I have never fought in my life. I'm so against conflict.

Starting point is 01:49:41 I don't know you as a contentious person. I don't know myself either. I know that I get upset about it. Conflict makes me very stressed. I will say things frontally, but I don't know how that escalated. And it turned into some... Mostly it was me in a corner

Starting point is 01:49:57 being like, defending myself. So I felt like a caged animal, and that has never happened in my life. I'm so sorry. Thank thank you i left very like shaky and was like fuck that has never happened like i try to like look back and regret it regret having reacted or said or and i couldn't regret really anything so i was kind of calm that way like i don't think there's one thing that i could have done differently frankly yeah honestly but i don't even regret it yeah and it

Starting point is 01:50:33 not in a bad way like i wish maybe it wouldn't have gone that way but i don't regret it but i couldn't get this like terrible yucky post fight like doom you know like this like darkness in your heart so I went two days later to get a Reiki session because I wanted to clear that energy and also I was frankly losing my mind I felt like they put like energetic like grips on me or something yeah that can

Starting point is 01:50:58 happen it can stick to you for sure if someone gets to you if they manage to lower your vibration your they get you in a bad place emotionally. I've heard it's easier to get it to attack you. And I have a little story about that. Oh, I love.

Starting point is 01:51:18 Two petty, petty, petty stories. Oh, I love. I love petty stories. I love it too. Terrible. petty stories oh i love i love petty stories terrible so i went to get the reiki session and i'm just like laying there she's doing her thing but one of the images that i had that was so heavy so strong before my accident i prayed to michael i was like please michael because that's my no no my Italian grandpa. That's his angel. We all pray to Michael.

Starting point is 01:51:47 Not pray to, but ask. So Dorian Virtue is the one who taught me when you want help, outside help, you need to ask. Yeah, you have to communicate with your masters or whatever. Because free will is true. So free will, you're going about your life

Starting point is 01:52:03 and then you're like, I don't know what to do with this. I don't know what to do with this. Instead of using your brain like that, you can just go, anyone who's qualified to help me with this, any idea, any thought, any person, please send it my way because I need this help. And then you at least are opening your brain to receive this solution versus just like staying in the asking place if you stay in the negativity of it yes you kind of like tear yourself apart yeah because you're not even actively looking for a solution while when you ask even if you don't believe in angels you're asking so you're putting your mind already in that in that position it's literally the idea of like asking for help when you need it. Yeah. And people will help you if you ask. Yes.

Starting point is 01:52:45 So this is like a mental exercise to be like, ask the energies available to please come to you and help you. So I do that. With the accident, I barely like I scratched myself basically, even though it was hard. When the Reiki session was happening, I closed my eyes, blah, blah, blah. And then two huge muscular legs came out from inside of mine. And then they were so, so, so, so, so long that I got lifted from Earth. Like, literally saw the Earth, like, becoming smaller. I'm obsessed with this.

Starting point is 01:53:20 So you visualized two, like, big muscular... I did. This image, it's like when you're between asleep and awake, So you visualized two big muscular... I did this image. It's like when you're between asleep and awake, a bunch of images just come, and they're not yours, but they're not a dream. That.

Starting point is 01:53:35 That stage. I'm obsessed. She was doing Reiki, and I was having random images and kind of thoughts, because I'm still kind of conscious. And then two huge muscular, super

Starting point is 01:53:48 great big legs grow from inside of mine, but they were like energetic legs. They lift me from the earth. And then I look back and there's six feet long wings. Gigantic.

Starting point is 01:54:04 Just the... I knew it was Michael. And I knew he grew from inside of me. So as to say, like, you're protected from inside out. Lifted me from the earth. And then walked with his two... It was like milky white with like a blue energy lining or something. Walked me from where I was on earth to a few steps.

Starting point is 01:54:31 And then he slowly put me down. And then I landed in a different place. And then more images came. Like that image went. And then I realized I was like, oh. I woke up and then I told this girl who was doing reiki to me and she was like oh that was michael and i was like yeah that's what i thought she knew it was michael yeah she was like this is michael and i was like okay yeah it was michael oh my god this

Starting point is 01:54:55 story i know it's crazy i don't i mean it is a bold move to introduce yourself to the world as the sister podcast of Las Culturistas, but that is exactly what Catherine Cohn and Pat Regan did this year with their podcast, Seek Treatment. And over the course of 20 plus episodes, they have proven themselves more than worthy of that title. In fact, Seek Treatment and Las Culturistas were just named Best Extended Podcast Universe of 2018 by Vulture. Wow, I didn't know that was an award. Each week, Kat and Pat invite on a guest to have a fun flirty conversation about boys sex fucking dating and love and the proof is in the goddamn pudding people please enjoy this clip from the episode sucking a dick is my wedding with guest

Starting point is 01:55:35 amy solomon i'm going through a lot of changes right now i really feel like i'm growing right now i think i'm growing right now oh good i think i'm in this place where i'm getting things that i want and i think in like three years i'll have everything i ever wanted what i'm scared of is as i'm like getting closer to the things i want i'm realizing it not i'm i'm seeing it not make me happy and i'm like oh my god this dragon i've been chasing for a decade is going to be a um golden calf and i will never be happy i feel like my life is so perfect right now and everything good is happening. I need to just enjoy it instead of being anxious all the time. I do feel like you have to, I don't know.

Starting point is 01:56:11 I don't quite know how to do it, but like you perform it. I was thinking about it last night with you performing at Joe's pub, like a literal thing you dreamed of in high school. Like how do we stop and be like, holy shit. Even some for me, something as simple as like when I suck a dick, I'm like,

Starting point is 01:56:26 I used to always want to suck a dick. Absolutely. Destroy the moment. I was like 23. I remember being 23 and having a dream that I sucked a dick and I was still closeted and I was like, whenever ever in my whole life suck a dick. Even in something as simple as

Starting point is 01:56:42 sucking a dick. You should be celebrating the dick sucking. Sucking a dick is my Joe's Pub show. Your Joe's Pub show at the duplex. My Joe's Pub show at the duplex where Ticket Link is now available. This podcast will come out the day of

Starting point is 01:56:57 sucking a dick. And Joe's Pub show is Catherine's Wedding. So by chance of the property, sucking a dick is my wedding. Me sucking a dick is Catherine's Wedding So by chance of the property, me second, I'm obsessed with the transitive property and is my wedding. Now listen, the second podcast in this episode hosted by Lindsay K tie and Kelly Nugent is the absolutely beloved teen creeps, a weekly book club of YA pulp fiction from the eighties and nineties,

Starting point is 01:57:24 which joined forever dog at the beginning of 2018 and proceeded to rip through an incredible run of episodes, tackling titles such as Arl Stein's The Prom Queen, Christopher Pike's Starlight Crystal, and L.J. Smith's Daughters of Darkness. Named one of the 25 best podcasts of 2018 by Cosmopolitan, Teen Creeps is, quote, the book club you wish you had when you were young. Except it's even better that you're discovering it now because you'll get more of the jokes. And beyond the books, one of the most compelling parts of Teen Creeps is the seemingly endless amount of awkward, hilarious, and exquisitely relatable coming-of-age stories that Lindsay and Kelly share, including the following clip from the episode on Arl Stein's Cheerleaders, The Third Evil, in which Kelly introduces us for the first, but not the last time to her very, very

Starting point is 01:58:07 unforgettable aunt. So, I have an aunt who nervous about where this is going makes everybody do things for her, and like she's just very

Starting point is 01:58:23 she's very strange. Like when she's talking to you she'll get out this little notebook and like take notes on what you're saying whoa yeah she's intense and she's also a person that will like um she just like likes being pampered and like massaged and like that kind of thing but like by people she knows oh my god what yeah it's pretty weird like and she'll always like um like she said to my mom they are the same age she goes tweet do you want this is how she talks too oh my do you want me to braid your hair and my mom was like what and she's like i just love the feeling of when people play with my hair and you have such beautiful hair. Do you mind if I play with it?

Starting point is 01:59:11 Oh, my God. But she will do things like that. Watch an ASMR video, lady. Get the fuck out of my face. I remember when she used to stay at my grandparents' house, there's like a guest bedroom and a guest bathroom. She would go into my grandparents, and both had bathtubs,

Starting point is 01:59:32 go into my grandparents' master bathroom, take bubble baths, leave the tub completely full of bubbles, bubbles all over the floor, and then just take all of their towels, use every single one of their towels and then put them wherever she would like end up going then when she put all the towels like

Starting point is 01:59:53 on the kitchen table or whatever wherever she was like done with her towels and my grandma was like oh when you're going upstairs could you bring the towels up and put them in the hamper and she was like oh a wet towel is too heavy for me to hold. Oh my god. Oh my god. But you were holding my towel. That's how it got wet. Are you insane?

Starting point is 02:00:20 There was so much. Holy shit. I love this woman. She was like, I don i remember oh it was her name oh i don't know if i want to say it it's not as good as i was hoping no no let's call her annabella annabella um she uh also i remember i new name sorry no souffle souffle very good souffle entreeffle. Very good. Souffle entree. Souffle entree. Can you just go, hello, I'm souffle entree, and then say the thing about braiding hair again? Okay.

Starting point is 02:00:55 Oh, no. I'll do an actual line that she has said at the beach. Good. Hello, I'm souffle entree. Can you put suntan lotion in between my toes? Oh my God. Shut the fuck up. No.

Starting point is 02:01:10 And then her husband did it. No. And we were all like, oh, souffle entree. You are too much. Um, oh,

Starting point is 02:01:21 oh, so this is when my dad's driving. Oh, Mark, can you please slow down when you go over the speed bumps? Don't leave before I place my seatbelt on. This woman has also gone whitewater rafting. So it's like...

Starting point is 02:01:39 She also has like a thousand ailments. I love everything about her story. She has a thousand ailments. It's like, I need my tincture okay here's an example of something that happened my grandma's like on her deathbed she's dying dying dying everybody

Starting point is 02:01:54 everybody's in town we're all waiting what a way to intro we're all waiting in the waiting room me and my cousins who are all fairly normal are all sitting here just feeling a little bit sad, but also kind of punchy and weird. My aunt, first of all, she was like, I have to go to the bathroom. And I had to go also. So I went to the bathroom and then she was like, oh, it is so nice of you to come with me into the bathroom and i was like i'm just i'm just going to the

Starting point is 02:02:26 bathroom then so she comes back we're all sitting she opens up her she brought a cooler to the hospital gets out a costco sized thing of applesauce like slowly and daintily like unscrews the top. Gets out her spoon. No. Eats one spoon. No. Close the door. No! Was it like one of those tiny spoons that you use to feed a baby that has like the rubber end on it?

Starting point is 02:02:58 No, but it was a to-go plastic smallish spoon that's like you would throw away but she had it she used that that and me and my cousins were like it's such a weird fucking detail and then she like put it put it away and then she got out her zippy bag of apple slices ate one apple slice closed it and then put it away she she took a single bite of apple sauce and then ate a single slice of apple or she'll also bring um her full name is souffle apple entree souffle a play entree. Souffle a play entree. Souffle a play entree. One thing that we here at Forever Dog will always remember about 2018 was getting the privilege to reboot Ben Acker and Ben Blacker's legendary podcast, The Thrilling Adventure Hour.

Starting point is 02:04:05 Renamed The Thrilling Adventure Hour Treasury, we've released three episodes so far with many more on the way, featuring the triumphant return of classic segments such as Sparks Nevada, Marshall on Mars, Beyond Belief, and the Crosstime Adventures of Colonel Tick Tock, as well as new tales, new writers, new guest stars, and a bold new sound. All Treasury episodes are recorded in

Starting point is 02:04:21 studio with expansive sound design and new musical themes and arrangements. You can expect one new episode from the Treasury every month in 2019, as well as a previously unreleased live recording from the Thrilling Adventure Hour vault. And if you want more of the Thrilling Adventure Hour, you can access the entire back catalog, complete libraries of classic segments and bonus content on Patreon at patreon.com slash thrillingadventurehour. But in the meantime, please enjoy this holiday-themed rendition of Beyond Belief, featuring Paul F. Tompkins, Padgett Brewster, Rob Benedict, and Hal Lublin. It's time to send the little ones to dreamland and set your radio's dial to spooky. Bolt the doors, lock your windows, and steal yourself a mysterious suspense

Starting point is 02:05:08 in this evening's final feature, Beyond Belief. Meet Frank and Sadie Doyle, the toast of the upper crust, headliners on the society pages. And oh yes, they see ghosts. Who cares what evil lurks in the hearts of men? Unless evil's carrying the martini tray, darling. Join the Doyles in tonight's dark episode, If These Walls Could Talk.

Starting point is 02:05:35 Our story begins in a penthouse apartment at the Fane Plaza Hotel, where Frank and Sadie Doyle are about to taste the unknown. Eggnog. Eggnog. Eggnog. Here goes. Oh, my. This tastes like the punchline of a joke in which a cow is walked into a bar. I care for neither the joke nor the drink. As you suspected, the recipe was clearly incorrect.

Starting point is 02:06:06 How much bourbon do you think would be sufficient to nog an egg? All of it, I imagine. If not more, I can still taste it. Take this, darling. The most astringent martini I know how to make. For emergencies only. You had it ready, didn't you? Any time an uncertain mixer is involved, my Boy Scout training kicks in.

Starting point is 02:06:22 I do so love a man in uniform. That did the trick. Shall we investigate the rest of this gift basket from the Vickers? No reason to punish the other gifts. What else have we got in here? Those small brown man cookies, their red and white walking sticks, chestnuts, which are basically poison. Speaking of

Starting point is 02:06:42 which, freshen your drink. Look, Frank, a present. Shall I undress it? Only if you wish for me to be jealous of it. I do. Oh, this is truly quite something, Frank. Exquisite. Priceless.

Starting point is 02:06:59 It's us. This photo of us from the Vickers gala, the night I drank Mr. Vickers under the table. I remember that table. It held its liquor far better than the host. That must be why I remember it so fondly. And look at this picture's handsome frame. On the back, he's written, to the most winsome couple in Manhattan, Merry Christmas. Christmas? Is that still happening? Oh, Frank, we didn't get Mr. Vickers anything, and he got us us. Well, let us think of something to get him.

Starting point is 02:07:29 He's got everything he could ever want, save a stronger tolerance. How about you fix us another couple of rounds to think by, and I'll hang this picture on that wall. So rugged. Aren't I? Now, where is that instrument used to hang things? A hammer? Yes, and that which is hammed? A nail.

Starting point is 02:07:47 Here you are, my rugged darling. All right. Just like dispatching a small vampire, you line up the stake, in this case a nail, and... Ow! Ah! Who just screamed?

Starting point is 02:07:59 You did. And who before that? I did. It was me. Your wall. These walls can talk? Just this one. It was me. Your wall. These walls can talk? Just this one. Just me.

Starting point is 02:08:08 The west wall. You're my favorite wall. Papered as you are with a tanned, prickled texture. Thank you. That's my skin. Or was. It is. The skin still is.

Starting point is 02:08:21 It's just I that was. I suppose I kind of am. So what precisely are you, and what exactly were you? I'm this now, but I was a man. A hundred percent human. A human man? The blazer man said it was ostrich. Nope, all me. Definitely me. I remember because it really hurt to get flayed alive. Never get flayed alive, I always say. Not if you can avoid it. Oh, please. Mr. Doyle, you could handle getting flayed any day of the week.

Starting point is 02:08:50 You've been through so much. Ghosts, vampires. Hey, remember when all those genies came over? Vaguely. Oh, you must remember. You were right over there, and you were all out of drinks. That seems both likely and unlikely. You found a bottle, but instead of booze...

Starting point is 02:09:05 Hold it right there. I will not tolerate a flashback episode. I forbid it. We came right up to it, didn't we? Sorry. I know I shouldn't have said anything in the first place. But in my defense, I was hammered. Our most frequently used defense.

Starting point is 02:09:20 And I suppose I must apologize for taking a tool to you. Sorry, old chap. My name is was, is Walton. Which is a coincidence, I admit. Wally the Wall. Like when guys named Taylor can really thread a needle, know what I'm saying?

Starting point is 02:09:36 Not really. You mean to tell me you've been watching, listening, spying this whole time? Would you have preferred I made my presence known? I think I might have. I know I would have. Voyeurs by invitation only. Yeah, I meant to, but I guess I never found my moment. But now's as good a time as any, right?

Starting point is 02:09:55 Not like you've got another oddity knocking on that door today. Right, well, I require more drink. Frank, will you help me mix a martini by the east wall? Certainly, darling. Frank, I'm not sure I like the non-consensual presence of this sentient surface. I couldn't agree more, love. What's next, a garrulous floor?

Starting point is 02:10:15 No, thank you. We must find a way to move him out. Are you guys talking about me? No. Yeah, you are. Are you talking about exercising me from this wall? Why would you ever think this? I know you. That's what you do.

Starting point is 02:10:32 As it turns out, we've decided to exercise you from our wall. But where will I go? Come again? The spirits you exercise, do you know what happens to them? It depends on them. Walton, unless we're upset, we tend to send them where they think they should go based on their circumstances and perspective. So they could end up someplace terrible like a swimming pool filled with wigs and mustard. Only if that is their rather specific fear. It is.

Starting point is 02:11:02 And they believe that's what they deserve. I do. Then, yes. Do you drink? You sound like you could use a drink. Back when I was a guy with hands, I never had friends like you. Now the Frank Doyle is asking me to dance. Drink, to drink.

Starting point is 02:11:22 And all I can do is stand here like some kind of, some kind of, I'm sure there's a word for it. Now don't get too down. It was a good run. You've been part of our adventures all along, Walton. We just a word for it. Now, don't get too down. It was a good run. You've been part of our adventures all along, Walton. We just didn't know it. Yeah, it's been fun. Are you? It's been real fun.

Starting point is 02:11:34 Uh... God, it's been so much fun. Please don't cry. I'm sorry. I've made it awkward now. Only now. Just now you've made it awkward. To be awkward is to be aware. Descartes.

Starting point is 02:11:46 You're sure you don't want a drink? I don't have any kind of digestive tract, but if you wouldn't mind not exercising me, I won't make a peep again. It'd be like I'm not even here. As if I could forget. Perhaps Sadie has the solution. You are the wallpaper, not the wall itself.

Starting point is 02:12:02 Yes, I'm more of a skin condition than anything else, really. Shall we peel you off the wall, not the wall itself? Yes. I'm more of a skin condition than anything else, really. Well, shall we peel you off the wall, then? And do what with me? Deliver you somewhere nice. Do you fancy Bermuda this time of year? They've got plenty of walls there on which to live out the rest of your bizarre consciousness. That's

Starting point is 02:12:20 the thing. I'm not sure I want to be a wall anymore. Well, then what would you care to be? I'm basically leather. Instead of watching you, always watching you, I could be wrapped around you, Mrs. Doyle, holding you. No. I do not like the sound of any of that. Nor do I. Me neither. Neither what you said nor how you said it. No. But you know who would love a one-of-a-kind coat for Christmas? Mr. Vickers, to whom we owe a gift. Wonderful. May we dispatch two birds with you, Walter? Frankly,

Starting point is 02:12:52 I don't know if I want some strange man to wear me. Vickers isn't strange. He merely traverses the globe in a boring old copper zeppelin filled with trunks and trunks of dull old money and everyday flammable gas. What's strange about that? Luxuriously on the edge.

Starting point is 02:13:07 He calls himself the Thrillionaire, which is either ridiculous or admirable. Honestly, I go back and forth. I don't know. Listen, you can be a coat or remain a wall, but you can't stay here. Fine. Mr. Vickers' coat it is. Here we go. I'll just reach up and peel you at this corner, Walton.

Starting point is 02:13:26 Oh, my God! That is painful! Oh, dear. Maybe all in one go, like pulling off a band-aid, but in a scenario in which it hurts only the band-aid. Just do it. Just do it. Don't talk about it. Just do it. Just do it. Oh, Jesus! Mary Joseph's goat butt!

Starting point is 02:13:40 Well, what we need is a little lubrication. What is that? A gimlet for your glue. Whoa. Who said I couldn't drink? Me? Wrong. I was wrong.

Starting point is 02:13:54 I apologize. Walton's feeling quite nicely now, wouldn't you say, Frank? I would describe Walton as supple. This is honestly a dream come true. Hmm. What is this on your skin, Walton? Some kind of marking? You found my tattoo.

Starting point is 02:14:10 A tattoo? Were you a sailor? No, I was a member of a secret society. I should never have joined a secret society. I just knew I'd end up a wall. I always do. You know. Frank, we've seen that tattoo before.

Starting point is 02:14:25 I think I'd remember. Turn it upside down. Ooh. Oh! This is from the Triangle Club. They tried to recruit me about ten years back. Frank, isn't that when the plazas had an outside contractor and gifted us the ostrich wallpaper? And the wallpaper arrived after we concluded that the

Starting point is 02:14:41 Triangle Club was nothing but a men's group for warlocks. Indeed. Didn't we put a stop to their entire chapter? You eradicated the Isosceles Cauldron? No, no, no, no, no. We helped them eradicate themselves. Oh, you did. The club felt like a very wronged triangle, Mr. Doyle, determined to make it a right. Are you saying they flayed you because of our actions, Walton? Oh, no, I got flayed way before that, for infidelity. And not even mine.

Starting point is 02:15:10 You know Pythagorean? Warlock? Yeah, his wife is whose infidelity it was. Well, why would they ever save you for us? Oh, my punishment was to be a punishment. I... Honestly, I'm supposed to drain your souls.'m what's called a um oh man i can never remember but it's bad it's a word that means a patch of cursed skin that drains out souls um god yeah i don't remember you guys know no wally have you been draining our souls please be honest

Starting point is 02:15:41 i would never no i mean i was supposed to. I was gonna. But then I couldn't do it because I loved you guys right away. We are touched, Walton. But if we send you as a coat to Mr. Vickers, are you going to drain his soul? If he's not as charming as you, maybe. I suppose we can't send him to Mr. Vickers then, can we, Frank? No, Vickers is more eccentric than charming. That wouldn't do. Shall we send you to that warlock who flayed you and then tried to destroy us?

Starting point is 02:16:11 Is he still kicking? Oh, Pythagorean? Yeah, let me see. What are you seeing exactly? I'm expanding my consciousness outward. All, um, whatever I'm called can do this. Mmm. Ah, yep. Got him. He's alive. Barely. He and his wife are in a nursing home in Queens.

Starting point is 02:16:35 Would you enjoy to take his soul before it slips out of him? Oh, boy, would I. And it would be nice to see Angela again. Then we shall visit a nursing home. A nursing home in Queens. You'd do that for me? It's Christmas, apparently. And you're like family. Family, we do not want to

Starting point is 02:16:52 stay with us, which is just exactly who you deliver to a nursing home. In Queens. Then it seems like we've got this Triangle Club situation squared away. I'll roll you right up now, Walton. Oh, Frank, with Walton off to Queens, we're without a gift for the trillionaire.

Starting point is 02:17:08 What do you get for the man who has everything? Oh! You have it? I believe I have. For the man who has everything, you get him the one thing he doesn't have. Nothing? Nothing.

Starting point is 02:17:19 It's perfect. Just like your eyes, my love. My eyes? Have you seen your nose? You want to talk about perfection? Look in a mirror. Your nose. Your ears. Just like your eyes, my love. My eyes? Have you seen your nose? You want to talk about perfection? Look in a mirror. Your nose.

Starting point is 02:17:29 Your ears. Your lips. Your lips. What about them? Put them right here. But darling, I'd get them all over your lips. Yes, you would, wouldn't you? Yes.

Starting point is 02:17:41 But they're perfect. Hey, guys. They can take it. Guys, you're on me. Guys, could you move me to the east side of the room? I always kind of want to see what it's like over there. Mwah. Oh, God. If I could...

Starting point is 02:17:58 Don't want to interrupt, but... Mwah. Guys. And so, Frank and Sadie find themselves walking tall in the face of a talking war. Revenge is a dish best left unserved to those married mediums. Lest they find out about it, get it drunk, and send it back one-fold. Join the Doyles next time when they once again walk beyond belief in a horrifying Hanukkah episode titled The Lady of the Latkes, colon, deedle-deedle, deedle-deedle, doom. This next clip comes from a new podcast that premiered appropriately the day after the

Starting point is 02:18:42 midterm elections this year. It's called This Is What Democracy Pods Like, and it's hosted by comedians and progressive firebrands Billy Domino, Oscar Montoya, and Kate Friedman. Each week, Billy, Oscar, and Kate trade hot takes on the week in politics, take the temperature of the resistance, and interview unforgettable guests like young Al Gore, death-obsessed Dan Rather, sexy Wyoming politician Ross Denison,

Starting point is 02:19:09 and the head of non-practicing lesbians for Ted Cruz, Cheyenne Dykes. In the following clip, Billy and Kate read selections from their post-midterms congressional erotic fan fiction. Enjoy. We've got that Democratic House coming up in January. That'll be sworn in and Pelosi's likely going to take back that gavel. We'll see Marsha Fudge coming forward. Who knows? But we've been waiting for this for not even just two years since Trump was elected.

Starting point is 02:19:34 We've been waiting for this for eight years now, since 2010. That's right. And we've had some ideas in mind of what might happen when that House is taken back. Absolutely. Ideas that excite us. Yeah. Ideas that make us whisper. Ideas that make us scream. Ideas that make us scream. But Kate and I have written up some stuff.

Starting point is 02:19:48 Oscar didn't because Oscar was busy last night. What? When were you busy with Oscar? He has no answer for that. He's just touching his coffee. It's what's going to save him somehow. Kate, do you want to read your little story? Show us what's in your brain, what you're hoping for we get politically out of this house.

Starting point is 02:20:05 Thank you for the invitation, Billy. I'm really excited to have an outlet for my excitement about the house and my own sexual energy. The air was heavily perfumed by fresh glistening sampler baskets.

Starting point is 02:20:22 Abby was so excited she could barely take a bite as Nancy Pelosi kept talking to her on and on and on. No one told me Congress was going to be this fun, Abby said as she took an ill-informed drag, shooting her straight to the moon. I'm with all that, Nance, but I'm going to be all up in that probe giving my best oh face, oh oh adam shift said as a few people laughed not my best sorry guys adam said as he asked for the bill adam 1992 might have been year of the woman but this is 2018 and it's year of the woman telling you to shut the fuck up nancy said as all the ladies laughed together in a glorious way abby couldn't believe the night was already over.

Starting point is 02:21:06 Or was it? All of a sudden, it was February and the house was in full swing. New and extremely strict gun background checks were in play and community policing totally took a turn for the best and across the country was totally responsible behind the peaceful burnings of excess guns around the country. Maroon 5 had even played at a recent gun burning event in Austin, and it was dope as fuck. Everything was coming up Democrat. As they were about to break for lunch, Nancy Pelosi let everyone know that Trump was stepping down as president

Starting point is 02:21:37 because Greg Pence got a message from God that it was the right thing to do. The White House was about to install the House of Reps as one really big new president. Hear, hear, everyone shouted. Abby squealed in delight. She couldn't believe that she was part of an even bigger moment in history that happened in record time. Just as she was about to call her dad and tell him the good news, she felt another naked, unsocked foot fall upon hers. When she looked up, she was shocked at who was on the other end of the leg, grazing hers. Oh my gosh.

Starting point is 02:22:14 Oh. Yeah, that sounds like a walk around the block after that one. Thank you for letting me get some of those thoughts and feelings out. I mean, everyone knows that the key to erotica is specifics. And Chili's, Alexandria, Hampton Inn. Maroon 5.

Starting point is 02:22:32 These are all things that make parts of my body shout. That's so nice. Thank you. It's so nice to have like a warm reception to something that like you write and it's such a piece of you and it's so vulnerable. And like, you know, you're questioning like, did i put too many time jumps in there is it making sense like and it's just it just feels really nice guys thank you we are not about kink shaming we are about kink celebration no matter the kink no matter if it's dangerous to others uh you know

Starting point is 02:22:58 you need to do what you need to do in order to express yourself and your body. Wow, Kate. Well, thank you so much for sharing this work of art. Billy, let's hear yours. Please. I'll admit mine doesn't have as many time jumps. Mine takes place in sort of more in real time, but... That's interesting. In its own way. That's really interesting.

Starting point is 02:23:16 Maybe that's equally erotic. After a grueling eight weeks of auditions and experimental workshopping where several congresspeople lost their lives due to trust falls, today everyone will learn the committee appointments. Quickly, the shouts start to rise above the din. As excitement fills the room with sexy feelings, Mitch tepidly walks towards the corkboard. What committee will he be on? Energy and Commerce? Yearbook? Everyone sees Mitch walking close,

Starting point is 02:23:47 his neck glistening in the indoor breeze. The crowd parts and a hush falls over. A hush like that time Mr. Boehner cried during the Earth Day Assembly. No one wants to be near Mitch when he finds out the news. Mitch scrolls the list with his sexy, hot finger. Commerce? No. Veterans Affairs? No. Pep Squad and Agriculture? Not even that one. Mitch is sad. A tear starts to trickle down his cheek as Ted Lieu and Elijah Cummings make out by the junior lockers. Get a room, shouts Jodi Ernst through her

Starting point is 02:24:17 headgear covered in 4-H stickers. Adam and Elijah do not get a room. They just keep sucking neck, their lips glistening in the indoor breeze. Mitch is about to give up and go home, thinking this new Congress is one he won't be a part of. He'll just have to go home and kill himself like he always does. But just then, he sees one tiny list at the very bottom of the corkboard. It has his name on it, but it's the only name? Oh my god, more. give us more billy that was far too short holy crap if you want more go to your local library and write this there on a public computer is it a published work that you i don't know what

Starting point is 02:25:02 do you call wordpress is wordpress publishing or not i don't know i'm never really i'm i'm fully steamed up i really am is it legally published i don't know is this in the library of congress yes but i don't know what i don't know what weight you want to give that guess what forever dog has a baseball podcast and it's about more than baseball and it's really, really good. It's called Three Swings, and on each episode, long-suffering baseball fan Rhea Butcher reinvents America's pastime with radically sensible thoughts on baseball, history, culture, gender, race, politics, and more. John Lingen over at Deadspin hit the nail on the head when he described three swings like this for butcher as for everyone else that cares about the game baseball is an escape a beautifully pointless hobby that nevertheless connects us to our friends family city and youth but three swings is a

Starting point is 02:25:55 baseball show for an anxious age one where everything feels connected and ambiently doomed as such it has become a journey of a host's self-reflection and self-reinvention. The ragged optimism of that evolution is always visible. Well put. Couldn't agree more. Please enjoy the following clip from Three Swings. We've got a big trade, which is Daniel Murphy to the Cubs. Daniel Murphy's outspoken homophobia began when he was with the Mets in 2015. Billy Bean, former MLB player and current inclusion ambassador was visiting the Mets in spring training to share his experiences as a closeted professional athlete and to discuss strategies to the MLB to become more inclusive and accepting of gay athletes,

Starting point is 02:26:38 executives and fans. And just to put a pin in this there, Billy Bean has since said that he retired from baseball because he did not feel he could come out and continue to play baseball and he needed to come out. So I think that's an important thing is, in mind, which you could also consider to be context, that he retired early from not just the sport that he loved and something he was, you know, blessed, I guess, to be able to do. He also had to retire from work, quit his job, essentially, so that he could be his true self and i don't think we think about that often you know we think about we look at you know the internet and everybody's so pro lgbtq plus

Starting point is 02:27:33 ia like everybody's so pro everything and everybody thinks everything's fine now but like you gotta think about these things where yeah he's all over the place and they made this position for him, but that's because he had to retire so that he could be who he is. And that's a big deal. That's kind of a big problem. And I'm more concerned about that, that people don't have to quit their jobs or be fired from their jobs than I am about, you know, whether or not a team sells a rainbow flag shirt in their pro shop. You know, it's one thing is making money and then the other thing is preventing a human being from doing a job. You know, so I think that both things are important, but one might be a little bit more

Starting point is 02:28:22 important for me. So in response to Billy Bean's visit, Murphy first called the idea forward thinking before proceeding to say that because of his Christian beliefs, he disagreed with Bean's lifestyle. The full quote is this, I do disagree with the fact that Billy is a homosexual. Something very specific about Christians using the word homosexual, but whatever. Anyway, that doesn't mean I can't still invest in him and get to know him. I don't think the fact that someone is a homosexual should completely shut the door on investing in them in a relational aspect. I would say you can still accept them, but I do disagree with the lifestyle 100% maybe as a Christian. Oh, sorry, new sentence. 100%. Maybe as a Christian, we haven't been articulate

Starting point is 02:29:06 enough in describing what our actual stance is on homosexuality. We love the people, we disagree with the lifestyle. That's the way I would describe it for me. It's the same way that there are aspects of my life that I'm trying to surrender to Christ. That's a great deal of many things, like my pride, which I think is such an interesting choice of words, and I'll get back to that. I just think that as a believer trying to articulate it in a way that says, just because I disagree with the lifestyle doesn't mean I'm not going to speak to Billy Bean every time he walks through the door. That's not love. That's not love at all. Now, I have to admit that in 2015, when this happened, I had just started getting back

Starting point is 02:29:48 into baseball in 2013, 2014. 2015 was the first World Series that I watched since probably 2006, because I really was out of sports for a long time. Men's professional sports for a long time. Men's professional sports for a long time. And I found out about this stuff mostly via like TV clips and then maybe the internet, but I don't really know. It was a combination. And I didn't read the whole quote and I didn't hear the whole quote. And I'll be honest, I just kind of saw homophobic baseball player and went, fuck that guy. And that's on me. Number one, I have in the past, like, I don't know, year of this year, really tried to slow down and not just

Starting point is 02:30:36 like, I'm going to say retweet, but I, it's a metaphor for everything, which is everything has turned into such like clickbait where it's boiled down to this essential nature that is an attempt to get your attention and also inspire either rage, panic or happiness. And so I have tried really hard to if there is something that I see and it inspires any of those things in me and it is on a website that is a real thing, I try to take a moment to read it and see if that's what they're actually saying, you know? Because I've seen so many news headlines or tweet headlines that literally do not line up with what the actual article is saying. And it's so disparaging and so frustrating and so toxic for everything that you really owe it to literally yourself to pay more full attention to the things that you want to comment on.

Starting point is 02:31:40 I both bristle and completely agree with the idea that there is outrage culture because i think that for a lot of people outrage has become the new pc culture and like all of these things are like a toss away just a way of diminishing someone saying hey stop treating us badly but at the same time there is also people who just jump on board with a thing and act like it's the craziest worst thing that's ever happened let's all burn everything down and so there's got to be a middle ground here of going wait a minute what is this actually about what is this person actually trying to say and so i'm actually grateful to the fact that this guy was traded somewhere that we're all going back and looking at this again

Starting point is 02:32:26 because i think that there's a lot here because i haven't even gotten to the fan reaction to the fact that daniel murphy is playing in chicago um just to go back to his quote i i actually um i actually think that what he is trying to get at, while I disagree, because I don't think you can disagree with a human being's existence, because he is able to, as a non-LGBTQ person, and as his type of Christian person, with his belief system,

Starting point is 02:33:04 is able to see his lifestyle as a norm or an acceptable one or following Christ or whatever or neutral. He is in this sort of neutral position to be able to say, you know, essentially hate the sin, not the sinner. And it's a sort of evolved position from hate the sin, not the sinner, to say, I disagree with your lifestyle, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to engage with you as a human being. And the reason I'm even saying this, and I hope that all of you who probably disagree with me right now

Starting point is 02:33:39 understand that I am a 36-year-old queer person who has lived their life as a gender non-conforming person and also a butch lesbian and also all of the things that I've been in my life. I have not been accepted. I have been treated like shit simply for the way I exist on this planet. So please keep that in mind when I say all this stuff. I am somebody that has... I don't like Daniel Murphy as a player. I don't even like his style of play. But I have to

Starting point is 02:34:11 be very honest about the way this guy is talking. That I actually think that someone speaking this way about that is someone that you could have a conversation with and say, I get what you're saying, but this is why I think it's wrong. Can could have a conversation with and say, I get what you're saying, but this is why I think it's wrong. Can we have a conversation about this? Do you realize that as a human being,

Starting point is 02:34:31 you cannot separate my existence from my humanness? And the fact that I am queer is not a lifestyle. It is an existence. It is not something that I put on because I feel like it. Moving now from the baseball diamond to the farthest reaches of outer space, we arrive at Treks in the City, an episode by like Paul F. Tompkins, Amanda Seals, John Lovett, Ira Madison III, Jolkin Booster, and many, many more. For Star Trek diehards and novices alike, Treks in the City has an absolute treasure chest of a back catalog. So subscribe and get caught up now before Alice and Veronica jump into season four in 2019. And in the meantime, enjoy this clip of Alice, Veronica, and guests, Whitmer Thomas singing an improvised pop punk song about the Android data and

Starting point is 02:35:31 his Android offspring. Lol. From season three, episode 16, the offspring. Oh, I have something queued up. Oh yeah.

Starting point is 02:35:40 There you go. What am I singing about? Say goodbye to law. Okay. Law was a really nice little robot. She felt a little too much. She liked her daddy and she liked his touch. She had emotion.

Starting point is 02:36:01 She knew about paintings. She would spit a drink on her shirt. And one day she got too smart. And her little heart was torn apart. So she had to be repaired. But no matter how fast daddy's hands could move. She had to die because they couldn't improve her. Oh, Dada Daddy.

Starting point is 02:36:35 Dada Daddy could have given her a deep taking. Dada Daddy. Dada Daddy could have given her a deep taking. Da-da-daddy. Da-da-daddy. Da-da-daddy. Da-da-daddy. Da-da-daddy. Da-da-daddy. Da-da-daddy. Da-da-daddy. Da-da-daddy. Da-da-daddy. Da-da-daddy. Da-da-daddy. Da-da-daddy.

Starting point is 02:36:45 Da-da-daddy. Da-da-daddy. Da-da-daddy. Da-da-daddy. Da-da-daddy. Da-da-daddy. Da-da-daddy. Da-da-daddy.

Starting point is 02:36:46 Da-da-daddy. Da-da-daddy. Da-da-daddy. Da-da-daddy. Da-da-daddy. Da-da-daddy. Da-da-daddy. Da-da-daddy.

Starting point is 02:36:47 Da-da-daddy. Da-da-daddy. Da-da-daddy. Da-da-daddy. We're going to record an album, so maybe we can have that song be on it. I'll always do little choruses if you need me. Thanks. Y'all are really good. You'll be there.

Starting point is 02:37:10 Thank you. The Unofficial Expert with Sydney Washington and Marie Faustin is a podcast that we have always listened to with absolute awe at how funny it is, how fast it is. And so when Sydney and Marie brought The Unofficial Expert to Forever Dog this year, we were ecstatic. Each episode, Sydney and Marie invite on a guest who claims to be an expert in a very specific field, flirting, porn, daddy issues, online dating, cookouts, stalking, sex toys, runaway brides. And they interview the guest to test their expertise, deciding by the end of the episode whether or not to crown them an unofficial expert. Please enjoy the following clip from the episode Sex Date Expert with guest Molly Austin. So I show up to the date and, well, first of all, wow, threesomes are a weird group of people to break into, I will say. Well, I just want to let you know people who are openly looking for threesomes are fucking weird.

Starting point is 02:38:03 Like any threesome I've had, it just fucking happened. Any threesome you've had? How many threesomes have you had, sis? No, you didn't. Give us a number. I need a hard number. Yes, hard like her spine brace. I need like a one, two, three, four.

Starting point is 02:38:19 Give me it, man. In the teens, where am I with this? No, bitch. It's less than five. So four? No, bitch. It's less than five. So four? No. So five. She's had at least five threesomes.

Starting point is 02:38:30 Whatever, Hope. This is about you. This ain't about me. But let's talk about your threesomes. I didn't know you had five threesomes. Isn't that crazy that she's had six threesomes? I mean, seven is a lucky number. Eight threesomes is crazy, dude.

Starting point is 02:38:41 I can't believe you had that many. Let the listeners think whatever they want to. Y'all know damn well I haven damn well i haven't what are you doing with your boobs right now i'm just she's missing the threesome because it was more hands on her boobs before i feel like i'm at the gyno with you wait what i'm not touching myself like checking for lumps i don't i don't check anyway go ahead yes you gotta check i know but i feel like they look smooth. That's true. You're a fool. Anyway, so you meet up with these people. They're weird.

Starting point is 02:39:09 So I meet up with these people. Did you have a preference? You wanted, I mean, I guess it was going to be a girl and a guy. Well, no. I was open to discussing all options. Guy and guy, I'm like, ooh. That's a porno. I don't know. Something about two dicks feels very violent

Starting point is 02:39:29 to me. Like swords. Right? Like pew, pew, pew, pew, pew. And you get a cut somewhere, right? But I'm also not shut down to the idea. But I'm also not like, Molly, you would take two dicks at the same time. I feel like I'm not judging you, but I'm judging you.

Starting point is 02:39:46 Sounds like you're judging sis. I think it would have to be like a very, I don't know. I just like, I don't, I don't think I could handle two dicks. I had a friend who took two dicks. You think you could handle two dicks? No, I feel like you could handle two dicks is what I said. Why do you feel like I wipe? What about me?

Starting point is 02:40:01 What about me if there's two dicks? You'd have one like getting snacks set up and then you would bang one and then like he would rest and then you would eat you know little break then bang the other one well Molly you got a new back so you definitely could take two dicks that's what I'm talking about

Starting point is 02:40:15 I do have a new back maybe not two big dicks but like a medium sized dick I'm not fucking around with two dicks for below average dick I mean I feel like people who have threes not fucking around with two dicks for below average dick. I mean, I feel like people who have threesomes don't have great dicks. In my mind, I'm assuming. I want to say, yeah. Right, that's why they need help. As a threesome

Starting point is 02:40:34 expert? I'm going to tell you, no. You're a monster. Nine threesomes. Anyway. So, I get there. He's there already. What'd looked like i mean tell me about it like clark kent like six three real broad real like tall dark and handsome just like a knight like it like a retired chippendale he's like fucking buff and he's like hot you are are painting the photo here. I mean, this man is just like his hands like fit across my entire back.

Starting point is 02:41:09 Like he's huge. Wow. He's a huge, like a giant, beautiful man who like, yeah, he's like a giant. And I'm just like, oh, like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, So you are a dork yeah but if he's that big and that fine I would assume that means he either doesn't speak English or he's very dumb right yes

Starting point is 02:41:35 no I made no I definitely because I once I dated a male model so I was like perfect right they're right up my alley they don't like no words I mean I've seen a picture of him he's good looking but he don't look dumb no he's actually not he's actually very smart he looks smart I can see

Starting point is 02:41:52 the way he part his fucking hair he has a he has a part he has a part yes he parts his hair it's smooth he's like slick he's like very Molly you should have led with the fact that he parts his hair I said Clark Kent I didn't know that Superman was part of it. I know that Clark Kent had glasses.

Starting point is 02:42:10 Clark Kent flies through the air and never loses his part. Never loses that curl. So what does the girl look like? So she's late. And we are like, and I was like. Which is a terrible move for her. Because if I bring in my man and meet another bitch, oh, I'm getting there early.

Starting point is 02:42:28 We're pulling up together. No, no, no. I'm getting there early. I'm like, together is the move. Like it was weird. Where was she that he got there first? Meet me early. I'm gonna get there early.

Starting point is 02:42:36 Talk to the waiter. Listen, another bitch is coming in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's going to be messy. So, right. Well, she gets, oh my God, Tania is really, why is it so violent for you? And it was like, I'm under the.

Starting point is 02:42:47 Well, I'm told that it's her idea. The whole thing is her idea. That means he's about to break up with her and she's panicking. Right. Right. That's what that is. Wow. You just ruined the end of the story, Sydney.

Starting point is 02:42:58 Well, that's what happened. But no, I'm saying that's a fact. Like, if you were like, yo, I'll do whatever you want so you could stay, it would be a threesome. Well, yeah. See, this is why I don't care about how men feel. I'm not a desperate Hail Mary pass to keep my man is to bring another chicken to the situation. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I would never.

Starting point is 02:43:21 I'd be like, if you want to go, go. And also, I'm never going to bring someone into my situation. I'm going out. I'm going out for food. You know what I'm talking about? Because I want to go home. I don't want these people in my home. I don't want them in my space. I don't want like no. No. I don't want to never see these people again.

Starting point is 02:43:38 I don't even want them to be from this coast. Boom. And they're not. Look at God. In addition to the thrilling Adventure Hour, we also had the privilege this year of working with Ben Blacker on another one of his podcasts, The Writer's Panel, which celebrated its 400th episode this year with an amazing live show at Dynasty Typewriter in Los Angeles. the most impressive back catalogs you will ever find featuring in-depth interviews with Vince Gilligan, Amy Sherman, Palladino, Jordan, peel and Keegan,

Starting point is 02:44:07 Michael key, Damon Lindelof, and many more television luminaries. The writer's panel is the definitive guide to our golden age of TV. And I hope you enjoy this highlight from the live 400th episode, which featured an incredible panel of writers and showrunners, including Caroline Dries, Latoya Morgan,

Starting point is 02:44:24 Alexander Cunningham, Monica Breen, Christine Boylan, Chernold Edwards, Angela Kang, and Jennifer Hutchinson. It seems to me that a lot of the requests for free work come from a place of fear on the buyer's side. We need to feel secure in paying you to do this thing, so do all the free stuff first. But what's hard is when you go into pitch, and I would love to hear from everybody here who's sold all this stuff,

Starting point is 02:44:49 because I've sold certain things, and some things go and some things don't, but they want a... This is such a Tony Robbins thing, of a need for certainty and a need for adventure at the same time. And that's what they want. They want certainty.

Starting point is 02:45:04 They want to know you have all the secrets of the universe in your iPad or in your cards or in your head, however you pitch. But they also want to be enticed. So they want you to tell them everything, but they don't want you to tell them everything because they want to be seduced. And that's important too.

Starting point is 02:45:20 So like the last, I've been back and forth working on a couple of pitches the last couple of months and trying to find that level of, I'm the kind of person who I will like arrest you for eight hours and tell you every single detail of this whole world. And nobody wants that obviously. Right. Um, but at the same time, the 10 minute pitch is like, I haven't even gotten into the part where the angels come down. Just, you know, just give me five more minutes. So the balance of what do you keep and what do you not keep. And walking into a room where if you're pitching on a book, you have to assume no one's read that book.

Starting point is 02:45:55 Even though the people you're bringing with you, the producers will have read it and they know it. And maybe you know the author. Maybe that's going great. Podcast, they probably heard it, right? Because they're not readers. I mean, and to be fair, they have to read a lot. Sure.

Starting point is 02:46:11 And they all have families. Absolutely. You know, I get that. I don't get it. I want them to have read more. But I never expect it, you know? That's the thing. So, yeah, what's the balance for you guys of

Starting point is 02:46:25 seduction and enticement versus listen, here is a chart of five to seven seasons and here are the points we're going to hit and it's going to spike on Twitter season four because of this. Just trust me. How do we do that? Well, the details that you think are important versus the ones that are important for

Starting point is 02:46:42 telling that story. I mean, well, first of all, sometimes it doesn't help if they've listened to the podcast. I found that I had better pitches on Night Vale when maybe they weren't as familiar with it because they have expectations if they've listened to it. They think, this is going to be who you're following. This is going to be what the show is. And then if you don't meet those, then you're not selling to that place. It's a hard balance.

Starting point is 02:47:04 And this is something I consistently struggle with. I am the person where I go in and I'm like, it's never the right amount of detail. Like if I overdo it, my agent's like, oh, wow, you really, apparently you gave a lot of detail. And then if I underdo it, it's like, oh, they want you to come back. And it's a hard balance.

Starting point is 02:47:19 And so I think the thing that I have found is, because you're right, they want to know everything, but they don't want to know anything. What they really want to know is do you know everything? And if you can communicate that to them, then I think that's when you have a more sort of successful moment.

Starting point is 02:47:37 And so when it comes to details, I try to do a thing where there are specific details that I highlight that are important to me that I feel like I can pitch really well because they're meaningful for me. And then they're like, oh, she has details. There must be more details. It's not always successful, but I think that's the thing.

Starting point is 02:47:54 Do you have a point of view that's really strong? Can we invest in you, even if we don't have it all in our heads? Monica, you were nodding your head during this. I have no answer to this because I struggle with it all the time the most successful pitch I had which was Midnight Texas I walk in and give them 30 minutes of a small town story

Starting point is 02:48:17 and it was based on a book that no one had read and they looked at me and said, turn around Monica and I turn around and there's a picture of Jamie Alexander's back with all the tattoos on it. And they're like, make it that, and you got a deal. And they walk out. I'm getting high fives from the producer. I'm like, what just happened? I didn't picture it, though, at all.

Starting point is 02:48:38 Like, it's a small town soap opera. What is this? And then, before they picked up the show, because I was like, they're never making a show. I got the pilot made. It was delightful. I had a really lovely time. I was in New Mexico. It was really pretty.

Starting point is 02:48:57 And I was like, no one's ever doing the show. There's a talking cat. There's angels. I don't even, it's a crazy town. But it was a small town soap with supernaturals. And I get called in. It's like, can you make it a demon of the week? Because if you can, you gotta sell.

Starting point is 02:49:11 And I'm like, what did I pitch? Why did I pitch? Just tell me what you want. This is a make your own adventure. So like, I don't 100% have answers because it was successful. It worked. And the show, as wackadoo because it was successful. It worked. And the show, as wackadoo as it was,

Starting point is 02:49:28 got a second season. So in a strange way, I'm just like, all right, let me just go into this little rabbit hole and just figure out what's happening because no one knows. That's what's amazing to me. This was NBC, right? And what year is this?

Starting point is 02:49:45 Two years ago. This was like right after we fucked up on Constantine and did a serialized show with demons. We had a lot of fun. And they were like, can't you just make it grim? Can't he just do an exorcism of the week? I was like, but all exorcisms are kind of going to look the same if we do that.

Starting point is 02:50:02 But you nailed it. I mean, yeah, I mean, it was just, it was, you work very hard on your pitches and you work very hard on creating a world in your mind that you understand and you know how to break the story, you know what the emotional arcs are, and then you just get thrown these things, pow, make it this. And you're like, all right. And I mean, you know, part of it for me is i always think of this job a little bit like a project runway challenge like it's like go to the 99 cent

Starting point is 02:50:32 store and make a gown and like and i feel like that keeps me sane because otherwise i will go crazy when they tell me to make a gown out of out of construction debris but that's you know part of the fun of the job is like all right well let's make a gown i guess from a to z we have finally arrived at the end of the forever dog roster with alexis g zol's innovative interview podcast zol good on each episode of zol Good, Alexis interviews a fellow comedian, entertainer, or influencer about their life and career. And she also interviews one of their parents or siblings or best friends or colleagues to get the real story behind their public persona. The interviews are then cut together in a point-counterpoint fashion that makes Zal Good

Starting point is 02:51:20 really unlike any other interview podcast you've ever heard. In the following clip, our last clip, Alexis talks to comedian and director Bo Burnham and his sister Sam. Enjoy. I was always incredibly, incredibly competitive, and I still am competitive. And I have to unlearn that stuff, but I feel like a deeply, deeply competitive person. And I've only, yeah, yeah. So did you always see him kind of going into entertainment, or what was that prediction on

Starting point is 02:51:46 your end as to where he would end up career-wise um honestly i just always knew he was going to be great like i still tell him to this day which he laughs in my face that like if this doesn't work out he can just go be a brain surgeon and i truly believe he could like i really think he's just like that smart and great and everything he's kind of just he's kind of just awesome at everything he does again it sounds that sounds like i'm being weird i really think that that's very yeah that's that's the that's it's untrue and yeah that's part of the her her and my mother's uh want to tell me that all the time is actually a burden that I'm, I've been trying to shake since I was three years old,

Starting point is 02:52:27 which is like, you guys have to stop telling me I'm the smartest, greatest boy that's ever lived from the time I'm two. Or then I try to seek that from the world. And anything less than that is obliteration to me. So now I just nod and smile when they tell me that, but it's very sweet. And I know they, I know she actually does believe that,

Starting point is 02:52:44 which is very sweet. Yeah. But it's very sweet. And I know she actually does believe that, which is very sweet. Yeah. But it's very not true. But once he started doing the plays, it was like, oh, my God, you have to keep doing this. You just have to. I mean, he was so good at acting and so creative. And then once he started performing and doing the comedy stuff, just everything that he writes just feels. Yeah. I mean, right when he got started, it felt like, oh, of course, this everything that he writes just feels. Yeah.

Starting point is 02:53:05 I mean, right when he got started, it felt like, Oh, of course this is what you need to be doing. Uh, she also mentioned that you at one point got really into magic. Sure.

Starting point is 02:53:14 So what sort of sparked that? Probably just being a loser and thinking, why not just complete the vision of myself? I mean, I'm already down here. So on appealing to women and my peers, I might as well start doing magic. No, um, I'm already down here, so unappealing to women and my peers. I might as well start doing magic. I don't know. I just liked

Starting point is 02:53:30 it. It was probably performative. There's also something fun about it. I also liked math and tricky, puzzly things. And there's like magic sort of blent the world of like theater and performance and puzzles. And again, just repulsion to everyone around you you know it also

Starting point is 02:53:47 yeah i don't know i still love magic do you feel like you were repulsed or people were repulsed by you no no i i think it was no and you know i i was somewhere where it's like you know probably the coolest kid in class was doing magic. But yeah, I felt uncool. Not uncool. Yeah, I mean a dork. Nah, that word has become something else. I was just like a passionate little dork. Okay, so you had like your specific interests that you were very into.

Starting point is 02:54:19 Yeah, just like theater and magic. I have friends where I look back and I'm like, man, you were cool. You were cool. Like you, you were cool at 12. Um, it's not, not about being cool. Like you were cool necessarily to those around you.

Starting point is 02:54:32 Um, yeah, I would, I would just always, uh, yeah, just had eccentric interests. Yeah.

Starting point is 02:54:37 I think there is something cool about being a young person and liking what you like and not being, you know, concerned if that's necessarily like the coolest thing. I think that gets cooler and cooler in hindsight as you not being, you know, concerned if that's necessarily like the coolest thing. I think that gets cooler and cooler in hindsight as you get older. You're like, oh, I was confident. Yes.

Starting point is 02:54:51 Yes. Yeah, I think so. Yeah. You know, in hindsight, I wish hindsight did, did, did worked on magic. It just isn't working for me. Spengali decks and, and foam rabbits are not really helping um you know they're not getting any better in the rear view but no i had a lot of fun and it's like i i guess i i sort of understand where you're coming from as well because i am

Starting point is 02:55:15 an only child and both of my parents just think i'm the bee's knees they just love it uh they think i'm great and then so when i go into things, I'm like, so that was great. It was great. And it's like, oh, I want everyone to think that I'm as good as them. Yeah, the world's not your parents. Yeah. Brutal. No, but it really is.

Starting point is 02:55:33 I'm not even saying that. That's a realization for me. And it's a realization for a lot of people. I think we're vaguely the same generation on either side of it. And like, yeah, we do need a lot of – it's not necessarily that the love and the affirmation is the issue. It's that the lack of the other – like there's some value in having like a psychological thing to overcome, to look at your parents and go, I'll show you and like run out into the world to prove something wrong. Uh, and to not have anything to push back against and to feel like it is hard.

Starting point is 02:56:12 It's not, it's not more difficult, but it has another type of problem. Um, and yeah, it's, it's, it's a strange thing to have the privilege that sounds like we did of,

Starting point is 02:56:24 of, of being supported. That concludes the best of forever dog 2018. You can find all the podcasts mentioned in this episode at forever dog podcasts.com. You can also subscribe to them on Apple podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify,

Starting point is 02:56:39 or your favorite podcast app. And if you have a chance, please leave your favorite shows or rating and review and let them know you like what they're doing. And not only helps more people find out about our podcast, it's also very appreciated by our podcasters and our production team. Speaking of which, you can follow us forever dog on Twitter and Instagram at forever dog team for the latest news and updates. We have a lot of exciting new shows coming your way in 2019. So stay tuned for that as well as amazing new episodes by all of your

Starting point is 02:57:05 favorites from this episode. So thank you very much for your support for listening and we'll see you in 2019. On Thanksgiving day, 1999 five-year-old Cuban boy, Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home, and he wanted to take his son with him.

Starting point is 02:57:37 Or stay with his relatives in Miami? Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind-the-scenes stories, crazy details, and honestly, just having a blast talking football.

Starting point is 02:58:11 Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all times, from legends to our buddies to current stars. We're finally answering the age-old question, what kind of dudes are these dudes? We're going to find out, Julesules new episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to dudes on dudes on the I heart radio app, Apple podcasts,

Starting point is 02:58:33 or wherever you get your podcasts. Oh, Hey, it's Teresa back from the dead again. Just wanted to pop in and let you know that haunting is back on October 22nd. Spooky season. I own spooky season. We're serving up some killer stories, literally,

Starting point is 02:58:49 and a few that might make you question whether you really locked the door before getting into bed. So cancel your lame Halloween plans. Haunted houses? Overdone. Candy corn? Honestly, who eats that? Your new tradition?

Starting point is 02:59:01 Listening to me. Listen to Haunting starting on October 22nd on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm NK, and this is Basket Case. What is wrong with me? A show about the ways that mental illness is shaped by not just biology, swaps of different meds, but by culture and society. By looking closely at the conditions that cause mental distress, I find out why so many of us are struggling to feel sane, what we can do about it, and why we should care. Listen to Basket Case every Tuesday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - THE BEST OF FOREVER DOG 2018

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