Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - "The Beyoncé Narrative" (w/ Ruby Karp)

Episode Date: September 13, 2017

DING DONG! Las Culturistas is BACK with a brand new in-STUDIO episode with the SUPREMELY talented RUBY KARP (Earth Hates Me, UCB). And bitch, it’s what you need! Topics? Ruby starting comedy in BABYHOOD, finding a comedic voice as a teenager (she’s a rising senior!), and her new book EARTH HATES ME, coming out October 3rd. Plus, Matt, Bowen, and Ruby GO OFF on the TEACHERS & TESTS that WRONGED them in high school. And you KNOW they’re talking about Hilary RODHAM Clinton’s #WhatHappened. Okay reading! It’s a GEM so listen up! SUBSCRIBE // RATE // REVIEW #LasCulturistas on #ApplePodcasts (or wherever you get your podcasts) and follow us on Twitter @LasCulturistas. New Episodes of Las Culturistas every Wednesday!LAS CULTURISTAS HAS A PATREON! For $5/month, you get exclusive access to WEEKLY Patreon-ONLY Las Culturistas content!!https://www.patreon.com/lasculturistasCONNECT W/ LAS CULTURISTAS ON FACEBOOK & TWITTER for the best in "I Don't Think So, Honey" action, updates on live shows, conversations with the Las Culturistas community, and behind-the scenes photos/videos:www.facebook.com/lasculturistastwitter.com/lasculturistasLAS CULTURISTAS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASThttp://foreverdogproductions.com/fdpn/podcasts/las-culturistas/ Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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And the Facebook. Well, if you're not already following Facebook, I don't know what to do with you. Very good point. My grandma and your grandma were sitting by the fire. My grandma told your grandma I'm gonna set your flag on fire. Talking about henna, henna, henna.

Aiko, aiko, ande. Jagamo, fino, anane. Jagamo, fino, anane. Zing dong, Las Culturistas calling. Okay, we've been little readers. Okay, we've been little readers. Matt and I are in a little book club, but we sort of fell into this very organically. Absolutely. I mean, well, to be, you influenced me. Okay, so I woke up this morning at 7 a.m um and i didn't stay up until midnight why 7 a.m just because oh i i just want to i had an early night okay um but i

even stayed up till midnight to refresh my kindle to see if hillary rodham clinton's rodham rodham clinton's new book what happened or as, or as Matt likes to call it. What Happened Was. Matt likes to call it What Had Happened Was. Everyone's posting this Fred Willard thing, like, what happened from A Mighty Wind? Sure. So. All our A Mighty Wind fans out there. All our Christopher Guest fans. I just read that first thing in the morning and really, like, spent all my extra time.

I was, like, supposed to get some writing done, but I spent all my time just reading it. And I was like, God, this is a really fucking good book. Yeah, I went to the Barnes & Noble, and honestly, there wasn't the frenzy that I thought there would be. Right? Like, I really thought there was going to be, like, a whole table of, like, only what happened books. Like, I thought this was this huge moment.

But I had to look for the book. Yikes. Right? This is, like, a big moment. Anyway, guys. I'm enjoying. I'm book. Yikes. Right? This is like a big moment. Anyway, guys. I'm enjoying. I'm enjoying. It's real juicy.

And she's getting real. She has a whole fucking paragraph sentence that says, I'd have been a damn good president. And I was like, yes. And she drops Anne Lamott, Mary Oliver, Les Mis references within the first like 40 pages of the book. What more do you want? I want to say something as a segue. I was reading two books today. Actually.

Okay, dual books. Okay, dual readings. Yes, I was reading two books and both of these books both of these books, honey referenced Kelly Clarkson's hit, What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger. Oh my God. Okay, because you know I was gagged

when I was reading Earth Hates Me. Yes. Today by our guest, Ruby Karp. And this book is in stores on October 3rd. You can pre-order now, honey. Yes. And also I want to say Ruby is the host of We Hope You Have Fun.

It's a stand-up storytelling show at The Beast every month. It's the second Monday of every month, and the next one is on October 9th. She just had Janine Garofalo on the show yesterday. That's amazing. Can you believe this shit? Oh my god. Unbelievable. Pioneer. Pioneer. And she's 17 years old. She's a junior or senior? No, junior. Senior. She's a senior at LaGuard Senior. A rising senior. Rising senior. At LaGuardia High School. Yes. Yes, come on, come through. And she pointedly references Stronger, What Doesn't Kill You by Kelly Clarkson.

And so does Hillary Clinton. And so does Hillary Clinton. So you have this in common. You're two nasty women. And we're very excited to have Ruby Karp. Ruby Karp, hello. Oh my God. Thank you so much for coming here and being here. Thank you so much for having me. Ruby Karp We'll talk about your life, obviously, and where you are at this juncture. But Matt, let's promise.

Okay, sure. But also, enjoy people marveling at your young age while it happens. Because also, you will get to this sick place where you'll hit 25, 26 and be like, Oh my God, I'm in my mid to late 20s. What's happening? And then you'll be truly... And then I'll miss my youth. Yeah, absolutely.

So enjoy it while it's here, Rube. But of course I understand when people sort of coddle you into being like, oh, you're a baby and just write you off. Well, it's also like, yeah, I'm young

and I wrote a book. Awesome. But it's also like, no, I wrote a book. It's not about my age. It's about writing and being funny and all of those great things. Absolutely.

Extolling a lot of wisdom in the book. And a lot of really very cool people have read this book and given amazing, like, quote quotes on it. Got Amy Poehler on the cover of the book. Queen Amy. You got Sashir. Sashir. You got Miss Natasha Lyonne. And Paul Scheer.

And Paul Scheer. The other Sheers. All the Sashirs. The Sashir. Sashir. You got Miss Natasha Lyonne. You got Paul Shear. And Paul Shear. The other Shears. All the Sashirs. The Sashir and Paul Shear. And she's got a glazer in the forearm. Yeah, she did that. Alana Glazer. Come on.

Come through. So did you get to hang out with her? Or was it just like an email back and forth? Well, I've known Alana since I was pretty young, actually. I did Broad City Live before Broad City was this big thing that it is now which is insane they're so awesome yeah so can you explain like how did you get involved in the comedy community so young like well how did this come about well my mom started a magazine called bust in the 90s okay yeah this it all makes sense that's so cool that's so fucking cool yeah thank you she'll be my mom's

coming to watch this soon she forgot she made me a cream cheese bagel and she forgot it at home so she went home to get it but yeah my mom started bust and so she in like the 90s was partying with like amy and matt and all of them before they were famous and like tina like all of them before they were big deals so because they're all like relatively the same age so my mom and them would were all just like genuine friends and then she was around when they first started ucb right and that was also right around the same time she got pregnant with me and she had me and we would always be at the theater just because we were

like supporting our friends and stuff but then when my dad left and moved back to australia when i was three my mom had nowhere to go with me because like she was a working woman alone single i don't have any siblings so it was just like my mom and i so my mom would always bring me to ucb and like throw me on stage with all of them while she would go cry in the green room oh my god yeah so i I was like three and they would like pull me on stage and just like swing me around and were like look a child and they would like do improv with me. I wasn't like conscious of anything but that was what was happening

and then slowly I just got like really accustomed to constantly being surrounded by adults. Right. Oh my god, what an origin story. Yeah, so you were just really thrust into that atmosphere yeah so i literally like grew up just being comfortable on stage and doing improv and literally just constantly being surrounded by comedy oh my god and your scene partners were these like

legends legends yeah which i so did not know at the time yeah the first time i did ask cat well i did amy's uh sparkles the Party when I was seven and then right after that because I guess I was like a finally formed human being she was like you're ready to do ASCAP wow so when I was monologues yeah yeah monologues no not improv yet um but when I was eight I did monologues at ASCAP for the first time and you know at the time I was like oh yeah this is just me telling stories like with, with my friends. But now I'll meet people, like, in my improv classes or at different job kind of things,

and they'll be like, you know, I think I saw you do monologues when you were, like, 10. Yeah. And I was like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. No. I mean, that is, like, the most precocious of precocious things is to like be on display is to like like open yourself up like that and to all these strangers I mean no I mean like yeah of course it feels embarrassing but that's like I mean that's so cool though Ruby

like that's awesome that's really cool yeah I mean and the thing is like it was never like a big deal to me because I was just like these are this is just what I've grown up doing then I got my own show and I started doing that when I was like 11 but then it got to a point when I was like 14 15 where I was like oh this is like a profession that people do like people pursue comedy because for so long I was like I'm gonna be a rock star I'm gonna be an actress and like then I slowly started realizing like oh I don't want to do those things i actually just want to do writing and comedy right awesome uh so then i actually started like really developing comedy and really actually trying to like work towards building a set building an essay of book things and then here we are here we are so did you go out and mic

like and how does that work as like 14, 15-year-old? Yeah, I can't get into any clubs. That's what I'm saying, yeah. Yeah, exactly. Still even to this day. Yeah, no, no, to this day, yeah. I've only, I honestly have not performed at that many clubs in the city. Mostly just UCB, The Pit.

I did The Slipper Room. And I did one other place. And really, that's it. Because I can't get in anywhere else. That's wild. That's got to be gotta be crazy that's gotta be crazy but you're all you're also like that's like the beyonce narrative like she's you know she's walking on stage in heels at 14 and let this episode be called the beyonce narrative thank you any comparison to beyonce i will take can i tell you my favorite story about destiny's Child and them getting whipped into shape

by Matthew Knowles, which maybe this is a crazy story, but I don't know if you guys knew this, but he would take them out on five mile runs. And he would have them sing in harmony the whole time. And he would drive in the car next to them. This is true. And he'd be listening

to the harmonies to make sure that they were tight. But so that when they were dancing and performing on stage it was like nothing it was like nothing to them right because they that's i guess how they truly learned how to control their breath which to be honest with you is not so smart to do it yeah sure sure because that's really what it is is just and now you see and you see beyonce perform at the super bowl and you're like how the hell would she be the machine that she is? It's because she was literally getting run into it. Either your dad makes you run five miles and harmonize with your friends,

or your mother thrusts you onto the stage at UCB with all of these. And there we go. There we go. Beyonce narrative. So, like, in your comedy, in the comedy that you do, that's gotta be, do you talk about stuff in school? Do you talk about, like, stuff that you're going through? Yeah.

Or do you ever feel, like, a pressure to talk about, like, bigger things that maybe other comics are talking about? Like, talk to me about that. Yeah. Well, my thing is, from a very young age, it was very clear that on stage, there were lines that I, as a young person couldn't cross like when I was like 14 and I started like being interested in like boys and stuff like that

I and I would like tell a story or two it would make the audience so uncomfortable I wouldn't even I was 14 I wasn't like doing anything like weird but I would just like talk about like oh yeah I have a crush on a boy and this is what happened and the audience would feel really weird because they'd be like i don't want to see a young girl talk about boys and like getting bras and stuff like because it may well because for a bunch of adults to watch a child on stage they feel weird like they're watching something that they they're they're getting in on something yeah exactly okay so especially when i got like older like 16 17 it was very clear like oh i can't really talk about hookups or things that happen that you know

all teenagers and everyone went through when they were my age. But for some reason I've found that it makes people uncomfortable to, like, have me explicitly say all those things. So I discovered that pretty young. Yeah. So my mom and I came up with this thing that we call Ellen DeGeneres humor. Which is we can't curse. We don't talk about sex or any, not that, meh. But like we don't talk about sexual things. Right, right, right.

And we keep it clean, no potty jokes or anything like that. Right. Because for me it's like I want my comedy to rely purely on the fact that I'm funny, not based on me cursing or me talking about something inappropriate. I want my comedy to purely be me being funny about things. Yeah. And that's going to pay huge dividends as you get older. And as you do free up that space, because I mean, you're, you know, you are setting these limitations on yourself for very good reason. And I'm not saying that in a bad, you're setting these restrictions in order to develop

something very specific. And I mean, that's, that's all you need. Well sometimes it's actually kind of a good idea to develop inside this box because it actually you place rules on yourself without thinking about the rules that everyone else will place on you. Totally. No I developed actually my own way

I've heard about a lot of people who actually tour doing like Christian comedy and then when they come of age and they get old enough, they break out of that. And they feel the freedom and they feel the individuality to talk about whatever. And because they had so much training, like playing to a specific audience or like doing whatever. I don't know. It just, for some reason, just kind of sets them free in a way. It's that base layer. Yeah.

So Ruby, you should tour some Christian cities. Oh, totally. My bat mitzvah rabbi would love that. Yes. Absolutely, yes, of course. Talk about your bat mitzvah. Wait, what was your Torah passage? Oh, it was Jonah and the Whale. Oh, that's a good one. I know it was a good one. I did it based on the Veggie

Tales movie. Oh, yes. How do you know about this? I mean. Oh, right. Okay, so just, this is a quick story. I did it based on the VeggieTales movie. Oh, yes. How do you know about this? I mean. Oh, right. Okay, so just this is a quick story. My sister, who's 29, just had her adult bat mitzvah. Oh, that's a thing? That's a thing. Well, she threw it.

She just wanted the party. And she wanted. Yeah, that's exactly. My 12-year-old self did that for the exact reason. Exactly. What was your theme? Yeah. Oh. Was it musical theme? Yeah. Oh.

Was it musical theater? I didn't have a theme, but if I could, it would have been musical theater. Great. Good. And I'm actually really glad that you didn't have a theme. Because my sister didn't really have a theme for hers. Themes are a little weird sometimes. They get a little weird.

They get a little weird. And I feel like you're going to look back, and it's always going to be embarrassing. I wanted to wear a pantsuit. That is a thing I wanted to do. That's cool. But I didn't end up doing it. That's okay. And this was what? Five years ago? 2012? I was 12 I think. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. See and you know what? That's awesome

and I'm glad that feels very contemporary for you not to have a theme. My sister did not either but she yeah she just wanted the party and it was so fun. It was great. She married a Jewish man. She married a Jewish man. She wanted to convert. She was, does it mean anything to you?

I'm going to say, oh my God, no. I'm being so, I'm being that person. Does it mean anything to you when I say that she's such a Charlotte? No. Oh my God, I'm the worst Jew.

Don't, don't, don't worry. She's, he's referencing Sex and the City. Oh, I love Sex and the City. I thought that was like a Jewish term. I was like, what's a Charlotte? Like a, like a twerp thing? No, like a Jewish term I was like what's a Charlotte Like a Torah thing No yeah she's a Charlotte

Oh I completely understand And I'm so sorry that I had to ask And I feel like such a fucking No you weren't because honestly There's people our age who don't understand That honestly was before our time as well It was I mean that was literally the first show where women all sat.

That was like one of the first shows passing the Bechdel test. There you go. And already even trying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally, totally. And that was a rerun show for us. Well, here's the thing. Ruby, we were told that you know everything.

I mean, that you have a pretty- Oh my God, that's a lot of pressure. Not everything. We were told you know everything. We were told that you have a very broad scope of popular culture. Yes. Would you say that's true? Okay, good.

I would say that's true, partly because I like to spend my free time in my room watching Netflix series. Great. So I just feel like I am cultured because I just like have seen mostly everything. And your mother is this prolific magazine editor, founder, you know. Yes. And so you are passed down this sort of pop culture. Yeah.

Well, I also just like, I've always had an interest in what's happening in society. Great. Yeah. founder you know yes so you are you are passed down this sort of pop culture yeah well i also just like i've always had an interest in what's happening in society great yeah yeah and that really comes through in the book yeah well because you know a lot of the reason i really wanted to write this and agreed to writing it was because there are so many people talking about teenagers and writing about teenagers and being like, generation whatever we are, all these things about us. But no one knows anything about us, really, because no one's living through it. We're really one of the first generations to truly live through Snapchat and Instagram and Facebook in its ultimate prime. Where it's all encompassing

where every single one of those apps is a big deal yeah yeah and I felt like I didn't want to be that person who was like I understand teenagers I'm with you guys I literally truthfully wanted to just be like no these are my experiences here's some humor and like here's some advice. Right. So you're saying that you wrote this book with this this sort of point of view of it not being tied necessarily to like this very esoteric, like mysterious part of teen culture that is like app heavy. You just wanted to write something like. Well, the other thing is like people don't seem to understand that. Like, yeah, we have social media. Yeah, there's all these new things. But at the same time, like we're still teenagers. Yeah, there's all these new things. But at the same time, like, we're still teenagers.

Totally. And you all were teenagers once. And really, yeah, there's social media. But it all comes down to the same five things everyone else was freaking about when they were teenagers, which is parties, whoever they like, school, their family, and then whatever their extracurriculars are and getting into college.

Totally. Like, truly, other than that, there's not that much that we care about. When I was reading the book today, I was thinking to myself while I was reading it, you know, there's not too much in here that's very different from what we went through, I think. I mean, just to run through some of the topics. I mean, yes, there is like and there is like a new lens on it. Of course. But, you know, it's about social media bullying. There's a lot about it.

You know, she has a large section about just unrequited love and like going through that. So I guess like my question for you, but then there's also topics which we didn't even talk about as teens, which is, you know, embracing feminism. Oh, my God. You know, and I think this is amazing for people, not only your age to have your voice say to them, but also it's cool for people our age and older to hear that this generation is talking about these kinds of things and also having those dialogues. So my question to you is, who do you want to read?

Who's the audience for this book? Who do you hope will read the book? And what do you want them to get from it i feel like i want a variety of different people to read this book i feel like the most one of obviously the ideal person to read this book is a teenager who feels like they have no one else to talk to because a lot of what being a teenager is is no matter how many people love you no no matter how great your life is, you still have moments where you're like, wow, I have no one. Even if you have the most loving family, even if you have the best friend in the world, it doesn't matter. Whatever you're feeling is so extreme in the moment, but everyone tells you that you can't feel those feelings.

All adults will just be like you're hormonal things are just happening you're just none of this is gonna matter in 10 years but the thing is it matters now oh yeah and obviously and i say this in the first chapter of the book none of my problems are real problems i am totally privileged like none of these things are real issues, but they feel really real to me. And I'm going to talk about that. Oh, my God. I mean, and that never, I mean, not to, like, sound too ominous, but that never goes away. That always stays with you.

And, like, those problems will, like, ripple out into your life in the future that has implications on future work that you're going to put out. Like, on every, just, no. I mean, yeah, I totally agree with you when you're growing up in those four years in high school that is the most you're going to grow as a person in your entire life you are going through the most changes in those in those four years than you will ever that fast because yeah you grow up and yeah, things happen, but the way you are raised and the person you become because of those years literally affects the rest of your life.

And people don't realize that because people are just so obsessed with statistics and what's happening with teens and what's cool. But no one's taking time to be like, here is the actual emotions and what's really happening in the mind of a teenager. And I think that's why I hope that people that are age and older read it, too. Because it's an actual account from someone that's your age.

And to be honest with you, I was thinking to myself earlier today, I was like, when's the last time I talked to a 17 year old? Yeah. And really talk to them, not just like a so how school like really had an actual conversation, because people don't think that teenagers have minds because they're just like, oh, young people. But like, no, like all of my friends can have good conversations with people above the age of 18. Right. Oh, yeah. Now, that being said, well, before we got on the air, we talked a little bit about this year we're talking about Hillary's book. We're talking about politics

in general in some roundabout way. We're talking about how this year you're going to be taking the AP US Government and History, or US History or is it Government? It's US Government. Well, US History was last year, this year it's US Government. AP Gov.

I also took this class and I took it in 2007. So this was when Obama was rising. You know, this was when it was either going to be Hillary or Obama. And, you know, obviously we were faced with McCain. And I actually, Sarah Palin didn't become a thing until college, until college. But it was I remember thinking to myself, I wonder what my AP Gov class would say about this, because I actually went to school with people who would have defended someone like Sarah Palin. Now, this brings me to this question. So you're in these classes right now where you have these kinds of opinions from everyone about politics. Now, from my perspective, looking back, I sometimes think to myself, like, wow,

how insane that a group of 17-year-olds were asked their political opinions. However, I think what I'm actually saying to myself is, wow, how insane that a group of 17-year-olds were so conservative. Because I went to school on Long Island. So, like, what's it like where you'd think it was progressive, but it's actually rather conservative. So what's it like right now?

What's the political climate right now in that class? In your AP Gov class? Well, the thing is about... I'm growing up in New York, which is the most liberal place you could possibly go to school. And then you're going to LaG New York, which is the most liberal place you could possibly go to school. And then you're going to LaGuardia, which is just a specific—

Which is even more liberal. Yeah, LaGuardia is a performing arts high school. Right. So everyone at the school has dyed hair. Everyone's very culturally aware, very politically correct. Like, you will get attacked if you say the wrong thing ever yeah now with that being said in these ap gov classes it is rare that there will ever be someone who is not a democrat or doesn't have very liberal democratic views right but what happens in these classes is someone will

say something in the wrong way something that it has clearly good intentions comes out is weird is worded wrong right right they get attacked like people go off on them i had a girl in my class today talk about how we can't attack trump supporters because then we're stooping to their level and that they're people even though they like have believe what they believe and you know i like understood what she was saying i i mean like i kind of agree and in a way but there were some people in my class who were like oh so you support racists you support racism like all this stuff and i was like okay let's take a step back let's breathe a little bit talk about something else yep but that's

it's either it's so funny because teenagers now are almost too politically correct yeah like we're so socially aware to the point where it's like people don't even it doesn't even seem like people want to be politically correct anymore for the sake of actually being politically correct. People just seem to really want. Yeah. Get off on it. Yeah. People like want to be like, no, I know more about feminism than you do. Yeah.

And it's like, OK, we're losing touch of actual activism. Because activism, and if you're actually not a racist, and if you're actually a feminist, you want, you just want equality. You want people to just have good morals and be good people, which a lot of people aren't, which is their thing. But people get to a point where they just, they start attacking each other. And really, if we want activism,

if we want to make a change, we need to talk to each other and have a conversation and be open-minded and be allowed to listen to each other's opinions and take them in and have a calm, civilized conversation. But now we're all so self-righteous and so entitled to our opinions that no one can seem to be able to take in what anyone else is saying totally i mean it's so interesting that you say this and because i was talking to this good friend over the weekend we were were taking a walk in the park. And he is this sort of, I won't say his name,

but he is this pretty prolific sort of presence. And some would even call him a social justice warrior, not even pejoratively, but just that's part of his... On social media. On social media. And he's just well-known in that regard. And he even realized and the reason i'm not saying his name because i feel like maybe this is like a sort of a semi

semi-controversial thing to say but he was just like i feel like everyone is just losing their minds even on our side like he was just at this um pride event uh in this and in the small town and then there was just a group of like there's a group of sort of like activists who were there who like went up to him and questioned him and they were like and it was just like a normal pride event talk like talking about like being a person of color who's queer and this group of people go up to him and they're like and they're just and what he notices is that they're they're trying to find their words and they're just, and what he notices is that they're trying to find their words. And they're these young people who are just like struggling to be like, to just figure out what to say to him. To be like, so how, they were like, how do you stay in your lane?

You know, like how do you, how do you stay woke but stay like, you know. And they were just sort of like pulling these borrowed terms or these passed down terms. And it's like and I think what this person realized was, oh, everyone is a little bit confused and a little bit frenzied because we're all figuring this out as we go. Like everyone across all age groups, across all like, you know, political backgrounds, whatever. They're losing how to express themselves. Yeah, because I think we're still figuring out how to. And I think that applies to every budget. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City are back.

I love that. I love that. Oh my gosh. Welcome. And last season's drama was just the tip of the iceberg. You're recording us? I am disgusted. Never in a million years after everything we've been through did I think that you would reach out to our sworn enemy.

We were friends. How could you do this to me? I don't trust her. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Wednesdays at 9 on Bravo or stream it on City TV+. On Thanksgiving Day 1999, a five-year-old boy floated alone in the ocean. He had lost his mother trying to reach Florida from Cuba. He looked like a little angel. I mean, he looked so fresh.

And his name, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere. Elian Gonzalez. Elian Gonzalez. Elian. Elian. Elian Gonzalez. At the heart of the story is a young boy and the question of who he belongs with. His father in Cuba.

Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. At the heart of it all is still this painful family separation. Something that as a Cuban, I know all too well. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, as part of the My Cultura podcast network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Julian Edelman.

I'm Rob Gronkowski. Guess what, folks? We're teammates again. And we're going to welcome you guys all to Dudes on Dudes. I'm a dude. You're a dude. And Dudes on Dudes is our brand new show. We're going to highlight players, peers, guys that we played against,

legends from the past. And we're just going to sit here and talk about them. And we'll get into the types of dudes. What kind of types of dudes are there, girls? We studs wizards we got freaks or dudes dude we got dogs dog we'll break down their games we'll share some insider stories and determine what kind of dude each of these dudes are is randy moss a stud or a freak is tom brady a dog or dudes dude we're gonna find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Cheryl Swoops, WNBA champ, three-time Olympian, and basketball hall of famer. I'm a mom and I'm a woman. I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby, journalist, sports reporter, basketball analyst, a wife, and I'm also a woman. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. See, athlete or not, we all know it takes a lot as women to be at the top of our game. We want to share those stories about balancing work and relationships, motherhood, career shifts, you know, just all the we go through. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women.

And T and I, well, we have no problem going there. Listen to levels to this with Cheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby and I Heart Women's Sports Production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Well, also, so much of what I talk about in the book and so much of what's going to help my generation really make progress in activism is having a voice and using that voice to your advantage but if people are afraid to use

their voices because they're afraid of getting attacked or being called aggressive or any of these things people aren't going to speak up because they're afraid because they don't they're afraid they're going to be wrong or be politically incorrect but the thing is if you're politically incorrect let's have a conversation about it let's talk about it we can let's work it let's work through it together but instead everyone has just converted to this fear factor because everyone's so afraid of saying the wrong thing when really we should say the wrong thing, get corrected, and then work our views out.

Oh, absolutely. Yeah, I mean, it seems to be a problem that the right wing doesn't have because it seems like they're able to just march. Someone who's really happy, really proud to put like, put a

confederate flag on their house and who doesn't maybe understand what that means will just proudly walk next to a member of the literal KKK in the streets. And it seems like nothing goes through their heads. No one else on their side is going to be like, hey, that's actually a problem. Yeah, they're not going to call each other out.

They're not having these discussions. They just mobilize and go. And it's, I think, a reason. Yeah, they're not going to call each other out. They're not having these discussions. They just mobilize and go. And it's, I think, a reason why they, for better or worse, seem to get things done. Whereas on our side, it feels like, you know, still to this day, I mean, with what Hillary says in her book about Bernie and the way that the Bernie people

are responding to her even now and the jumping down on Kamalaris before she can even be a candidate it feels like it's it's a huge reason why we can't get things done is because it seems like it's stopping conversation from happening totally and the other thing is like everything i'm saying is directed towards people who like have the kind of views I have. Like obviously it's a very different conversation if we're talking about someone who is actually a racist or actually a misogynistic person. Everything I'm saying is I know a lot of people

who really want to be politically correct, but they just don't have the information or the resources to understand what that means or what feminism really means or what it means to be a racist or not be a racist. So everything I'm saying is directed towards the people who actively want to be politically correct and be people who have views that are progressive. The people who don't have those views that's another conversation because those are people who have been raised that way they they've been raised that way the way i've been raised to be a feminist and you can't change me if someone came up to me and calmly started to

speak to me about being an being anti-feminism being racist i would obviously be like absolutely not you psychopath but in terms of making progress on the liberal side of america we can't make pro we will only make progress if we do it together and if we're splitting each other up because some people are more liberal than others that's not progress that is actually going backwards now i do have another question about your ap gov class y'all know you have a test to take at the end of the year right so here's the deal when they put that test in front of us at the end of the year in 2007 i looked down at that test we hadn't talked about any of it. Come on. Well, that's a flaw.

We hadn't talked about any of it. That's on your teacher. 100%. But we had had so many conversations about whether it was going to be Barack or Hillary and whether or not we should be pro-choice. Literally, my teacher got us up one day and was like, okay, everyone who's pro-choice get on that side of the road. That is a horrible idea. That's terrible. Everyone who's pro-ice get on that side of the road. That is a horrible idea.

And everyone who's pro-life get on this side of the road. And everyone decided to stay in the middle. He did this about issues. And then I was just like. That is maybe the worst thing a teacher could possibly do. He was not good. And oftentimes, like, I responded to one thing in your book. You were talking about how you had this teacher.

This is in the book, and this is so fucked up okay so so ruby has this uh actually you know do we have to take a break um no let's wait let's talk let me let me say this tidbit and then we'll take a short break so a teacher of about 30 years old you said um was speaking with you and then recommended to you that you not be too feminist because it comes off as unattractive. Yes. Oh! A teacher! Yes, yes. This happened.

She also called me a dumb blonde for two years. Just so you all know, I'm a brunette. But Ruby was 11. Yeah, I was a child. And the thing is, like, these teachers are everywhere. Everywhere. I mean, I had them in my high school on Long Island. Like, you had them in your, like, New York City middle school.

New York City, most progressive middle school you could possibly go to. Don't be too much of one of those feminists because it could be unattractive or aggressive. Yeah, I was taking a woman's suffrage class at the time. And she pulled me over and she was like, yeah, because that was like the social studies course that I was taking. And she taught that class? No, no, no. She was one of my teachers that was one of the teachers at my school.

And I was like, yeah, I'm really excited because I'm taking this awesome women's suffrage class. And she pulls me over and she's like, just so you know, you know, men really don't find feminists attractive. You're gonna, don't become one of those aggressive feminists, you know? And don't find feminists attractive you're gonna don't become one of those aggressive feminists you know and i was like what let me tell you i had a teacher one time in high school um and we were we just gotta say this and so listen we were talking about ann coulter

who's literally the garbage of the earth. So she had said something about how all the Jews in the world need to convert to Christianity. Her whole MO, she just was going on about that. And I was talking about how sick that was. And my teacher at the end of

class pulled me aside and he said to me, the thing is everyone does need to convert to christianity because then there won't be any more cancer in the world any more sickness and i was looking in his eyes and i was like oh you're like a religious like oh that's you know that's like against the law right i mean it was fully against the law except i didn't know how to handle it at the time like i kind of was just like okay and i left the room and I think I ran down the hall. I was just like, that was so

freaking scary. That's shocking. And you know what? I mean, if there's any comeuppance here, both of those teachers are being put on blast now and Ruby, your teacher is being put on blast in your fucking book. So there you go. Oh my God. And we'll talk more about the book and

we'll talk more to Ruby Karp, who I'm so loving this conversation. I love this conversation. my God. And we'll talk more about the book and we'll talk more to Ruby Karp, who I'm so loving this conversation. I love this conversation. And we will talk more right after this short, brief, abbreviated break. Okay. And we're back with Ruby Karp. Now, Ruby, we want to talk to you.

We want to ask you the question we ask all of our guests and we're doing this in Act Two, which is great, which is, Ruby, we want to talk to you. We want to ask you the question we ask all of our guests. And we're doing this in Act 2, which is great, which is, Ruby, what is the culture that made you say culture is for me? This is the culture that made you decide to step in a cultural direction. You said to yourself, wow, I love media. I love film, music, television, the stage, cultural life. What have you. What have you.

It's a weird question. But it's great. For me, it was definitely being raised by a single mom. Great. I love that. Because the thing is, when you are rory rory and lorelei gilmore yeah you are you are living a very different life than basically everyone else because the thing is i grew up always being encouraged to talk about my feelings and tell my mom everything that was happening in my life and

tell her every all the drama that was happening and everyone that was being mean to me. So from a very young age, I was open to talking and I was open to discussion and wanted to have conversations with people and really learn about them because my mom would do this thing where when I was little, even though I would be talking about nothing, my mom would just ask me about my day and let me just talk for as long as I wanted so that from a really young age, she was always encouraging me to express what I was thinking. That's such a great answer.

And that is so Gilmore Girls. And because you're saying that that made everything else fall into place for you. Like your love of movies, you know, comedy, everything else. Yeah. Self-expression in general, too. Sometimes I think maybe because there are two parents, when I'm asked how my day was, it's like, well, it's a different story for each one of you.

So I'm not going to say it at all. Yeah, well, because especially when I was younger, it was like, it was no matter what was happening, it was my mom and I against the world. Like, my mom was my best friend. Now it's like my roommate. Like, obviously she's still my mom. We fight all the time. But now it's like my roommate like yeah obviously she's still my mom we fight all the time but now it's like we're sisters like we know each other so well to the point where it's like there's no question of whether or not i'm telling her about my day she just knows everything yeah

and not and the thing is i tell her everything in that she trusts me to have no curfew, to come home when I want because she knows where I am because I'm telling her what's happening. So the relationship we have is based in trust. And you're very honest with her. And I'm very honest with her because the thing is, like, I'm not a bad kid. So there's nothing I really need to hide from her. And all of the things that I'm doing are teenage things. I go out with my friends. I have fun nights.

I go to the movies with people. You write books. I write books. All teenage things. And my mom also, like, you know, I work pretty hard and stuff. So my mom lets me be rewarded with not being very lenient about curfew and coming home and stuff like that and really having that sense of independence having my own room really being my own person has made me who I am because without that sense of independence and really learning what it means

to be alone but still have a lot of love in my life has really just shaped me as a person. That's beautiful. Gotta love it. So you told me you're studying drama at LaGuardia. Yeah. But acting is not necessarily like the thing. Well, for me, I just kind of, I feel like in terms of breakouts to heart, like roles and stuff, I really, I mean, mean i'm not gonna speak for the future because like i don't know what's gonna happen but i really i love writing and i also love television

and really studying what people react to and what works and i feel like if i'm going to act and be on tv it's gonna be my story yeah or what like, my character that I'm writing for me. And that's the direction everything's going in anyway. So you're all set. What are you liking on TV now? What shows are you liking? Well, I don't really watch that much live television. I really watch a lot of Netflix.

Yes. So what are you binging? What are you catching up on? Okay. So right now I'm in the middle of Handmaid's Tale. It is crazy, Pam. It is crazy. It is.

I am so, oh my God. So much is happening. We're also discussing it in my film class right now in school. Oh my God, I wish. Which is so awesome. It's so awesome, right? I wish I had done that.

It's so fun. I always ached for that when I was in high school. Yeah. To have a class where we could, I mean, in my AP Lit class one time, my AP Lit teacher exposed us to Stephen Sondheim.

We started talking about Sweeney Todd. And then I went to go see the movie and I couldn't wait to come back to class to talk about it. To have a whole class about stuff like that. It's so great because we just have conversations about all this stuff. It's so fun. But I've been binging Parks and Rec for

the second time, The Office for the fourth time. Secret Guilty Pleasure, Gossip Girl, Gilmore Girls, all those. Weirdly, I, like, go in and out of Grey's Anatomy. Sometimes, like, it's too much. You're talking to two Grey's Queens right here. Yeah. Back when it was good.

Exactly. I'm trying How I Met Your Mother. I just, I'm trying everything that's on Netflix, basically. So you really are, like, trying to, like, broaden your scope. That's what I Met Your Mother. I just, I'm trying everything that's on Netflix. So you really are like trying to like broaden your scope. It's like I was saying earlier. You really are trying to like get this good media diet of stuff that's come, that's not necessarily of your time.

And I'm not saying, I'm just saying that it's like, yeah, like it was on like when you were a certain, it's like when we watched like Cheers. It nailed the, but LeGray's Anatomy when we were 16, 17, absolutely nailed me to the wall oh yeah but that's because that was season two and three yeah back when it was well that's that's essentially like because for me it's all about finding my voice in terms of writing because my voice in terms of stand-up comedy is very self-deprecating yeah like my humor is my my view on humor is why offend anyone else when you can just

offend yourself great because everyone especially now everything's a trigger for people and everything brings things up for people so why make fun of other people when you can just make fun of yourself when there's no risk of like when there's no risk of and also it's just fun it's so it's so fun to just like laugh at yourself and tell funny stories of things that happen to you but in terms of television my i love my favorite movies are like francis haw and manhattan and moonrise kingdom and movies like that and i really want to one day find the median between francis haw Parks and Recreation. Oh, great. That's pretty specific.

That's a really good zone. I mean, like, yeah, because that's, like, a crazy median. That's, like, where do you find that one? I mean, I love, like, I've been watching Girls because I think the way it's done, directed, written, everything about it is so exactly what I hope to be one day. Yeah, that's great. Girls is a game changer. Oh, that's great. That's great.

Girls is a game changer. Oh, yeah. And because the thing is, there are so few, and that's why I love Master of None, there are so few people making comedy shows that are based in truth and based in real things that the way real people actually are. Yes. And like, yeah, there's this thing of like comedy auteurs now on TV and I feel like girls, I don't think it paved the way for

this show. In a sense. You know what I'm talking about? Insecure. Insecure. I was gonna suggest it to you. Have you started watching Insecure? No, what's that? It's a show with Issa Rae. It's based on her web series called Awkward Black Girl. It's essentially like, I don't want to like dumb it down this way, but it's essentially It's girls in LA.'t want to like dumb it down this way but it's essentially

girls in LA like it's like an all black cast. It's really really great. It feels it feels like like what would you describe? Almost like the second season feels a little bit like Sex and the City. Yeah a little bit. There's just a lot of like love triangles. It's really

fun to watch. It's um it's just yeah it's one of those shows. I'm a big lover of rom-coms. It's you'll love it. I think you'll really like the show. It's just a lot of love triangles. It's really fun to watch. It's just, yeah, it's one of those shows. I'm a big lover of rom-coms. You will love it. I think you'll really like the show. It's also a really, and I don't know how much of this you've experienced in high school and stuff, but it's a really good examination of what it means to be faithful and what happens when someone cheats. Yeah.

And the psychology of that. I just think it's really good. And I actually tried to watch it a year ago and I kind of didn't give it a chance because I just didn't buy it. Tonally, I wasn't on board. But I gave it a shot again like two or three days ago and I love it.

And all of this weekend I was binging through Atlanta. And that is another show I think it might be sort of the closest thing that's in that liminal space between Francis Ha and Parks and Rec, you said? Yeah. Where it's like, it's funny, it's absurd, but it's also like so, so textured and real in that way.

I think you would love Atlanta. It's like, there's some like crazy fucking shit that happens in the show. And, but I think, I think you would love it. I think it's, if you can handle Handmaid's Tale, you can handle Atlanta. It's really, really good. And I think, I think it's like operating in that space that you kind of want to go for. Yeah, exactly. Also, like, the new season of Master of None, I loved because it tackled real-life problems, both socially, like, politically and stuff.

But also just real moments. Like, he was freaking out about one girl and then ran into his ex-girlfriend who he hadn't thought about in a while on the street. Because that's a thing that happens. You're just like, you're freaking out about something and then you run into someone who you totally don't expect to see but have thought about so much. Like those are, that's such a real moment. That's such a thing that happens, especially in New York. Ruby, has that happened to you a lot? No, I don't mean it like that i just mean like there's so many moments in the show that are so and like when he's freaking out about the girl and then he starts writing a pros and cons list

and then he's like wait no i like her like there's nothing i can do about that like just like little things like that that it's like the show is so funny but then there are so many moments where he just lets the show get real yeah and i think that for so long a sitcom was like a funny show where people make jokes and like sit around and drink coffee but like now we're finally realizing that comedy is about truth and comedy is based in reality and without that base reality there's no comedy is based in reality. And without that base reality, there's no comedy because there's nothing to make fun of. So I think the fact

that we're finally making shows that appreciate that and that like really bring that out is such a big deal. That's so cool that this stuff is resonating with you, especially, and I'm sorry to bring up your age again,

but at your age, you know, it's like that, but that's very encouraging. And you know, it's huge. It's huge. It huge it's huge thank you it's such a good time for everybody but like especially for like people who are like gonna be sort of you know not defined by this by this era but like sort of it's gonna texturize their

voices well also when you're 17 and when you're a teenager and young you're feeling everything you're feeling for the first time so everything you're feeling is so intense because we've never felt it before, which is why your first love, your first heartbreak, your first everything resonates with you so much because you've never experienced it before. So your emotions are so heightened because you don't know how to deal with it.

Totally. And you become so impressionable with what you consume media-wise because for me, Grey's Anatomy was the first show that fucking blew my fucking mind. I was like, this is the best show I've ever seen in my life.

It was so crazy. And now looking back, I have such nostalgia for it. No, no, no. I will say the second season of it, the production value was way higher than what they give it now now it's fucking meredith gray standing in front of a green screen and she's like it's great to be in front of a waterfall yeah it's like bullshit they had they spend no money on it now because they know they don't have to i know back in the day it was like remember that remember that fairy disaster oh my god well that was in front of a green screen.

Yes, definitely. But like, that was like the last throws of them having like a budget. This fucking moment, the fucking Code Black episode where there's a, there's a literal fucking explosion in the hallway. And that was a real explosion. And I was like,

Jesus Christ. How about when two people got stuck on a pole and one of them had to die? That was the first episode I ever watched of Grey's Anatomy. And I was like, this show is amazing. Yeah. And that girl should have won an Emmy, too. She should have.

But didn't. Wait, I have a question for you. Do you have a lot of gay friends in high school? It's LaGuardia. But, I mean, maybe you don't. Maybe you don't. You would be surprised at how many kids are straight at a performing arts school. In the drama department because that because you think they haven't come out yet or because you think they're legitimately

straight and it's okay you can tell us i think they're legitimately here's the thing i i have a lot of gay friends because i went to performing arts camp there you go which is so different than performing arts high school because the thing is about performing arts high school is that a lot of these kids either aren't out yet or honestly because the thing is it's not that i don't talk to people or don't see people outside of my department but it's really hard to have classes with people not in the same department as you so you don't really really mingle that much outside of your department and really in the drama department especially in my grade there's not that many kids who are out sure which is fine which is totally okay performing arts camp though the ratio of straight boys to

straight girls actually no ratio straight boys to not straight boys is zero to one million that's wild like that's gotta be frustrating for someone who's at camp oh my god you have no idea you have no idea i think there were maybe maybe two straight boys at camp who i don't even know if they're straight but they weren't even that attractive and they got girls all summer because they will continue to keep putting themselves at performing arts camp rule number 19 of culture straight boys you want some go to performing arts camp sorry um um but that's see i ask you that because I feel like if I'm in high school and Ruby's there, I go befriend Ruby. Oh, yeah. Thank you.

That's how I feel. I feel like you'd be a great friend for a gay kid. I mean, you're just an interesting female. And honestly, like, I mean, I'm not saying that that's all it takes, but it's like you gravitate towards that. No, but I feel like also there's a lot of people in high school that are like, they're super smart and dynamic, but that's also closeted. You know what I mean?

Like, that's another thing that stays inside when you're closeted by your sexuality is you also don't say how you feel and don't say what you think. So it's just interesting to talk to you And hear all of this Because I think about myself At that age and I think Wow I was not even close To being ready to be myself

And say the things I thought Well the thing that's hard about high school Is that people make their friends And then they don't really feel The need to go outside of those friends That they've made Like I really didn't find My group of friends they don't really feel the need to go outside of those friends that they've made for sure like i i really didn't find my group of friends until like last year and even then i don't really have

a specific group i kind of just have friends that i like who i hang out with and like they're all they all hang out with different people the problem with conversation is I don't say these things in class. The impression people at school have of me is I raise my hand all the time because I always have something to say about whatever book we're reading or whatever U.S. government topic we're talking about. So people at my school are like, oh, yeah, that girl, the one who. They think you're that girl. Yeah, the one, the teacher's pet.

When really, like, I could care less about what a teacher thinks of me. I want to have a conversation and discuss Handmaid's Tale and really talk about Trump. But the thing is, everyone's so focused on seeming cool and not seeming like they're too aggressive that when people get very passionate about their points, everyone's like, oh, yeah, this guy again. Yeah, totally. Making friends in high school, it's not that it's hard. It's just difficult to make new friends outside of friends you haven't had for a while. Oh, yeah. Especially when you feel like everyone has decided who everyone is already.

Exactly. You'll go to college. I mean, where do you want to go? I'm only applying to six schools. I'm applying early action, which just means I'm applying early. It doesn't mean anything. Yeah, it's not early decision. I'm applying early to

Emerson for comedy. Oh, great. Because they have a comedy major, which is awesome. They've got good alums. Yeah, and it's in Boston. I can continue comedy and stuff. That'd be awesome. But I'm applying to Yale, Wesleyan, Columbia, Columbia College, Chicago, Northwestern, USC, and Emerson. And that's it. And not

NYU. And not NYU. Don't worry. We went to NYU. Columbia College. But I grew up in the city, and I don't have the money I know no go go to Emerson

go somewhere else go to Boston okay let's pray I get in guys you will be fine wait okay say those schools again because those are all pretty good

comedy schools Columbia, Yale, Housley I want to be a comic I want to be a comic so like I'm applying the thing is there's no comedy major

at schools other than emerson and columbia college chicago so if i go to school hey everyone learn about my college future life uh so i think i'm gonna major in film if i uh for those schools that i don't major so when did you go to emerson and see and everything already yeah i toured so so you toured and when you toured what did they say the comedy curriculum is like? Like, who teaches there? Like, what is that?

Yeah, it's a sketch writing curriculum. So not the whole thing, but basically you have a class in improv, you have a class on history of comedy, you have a class on writer's room. They basically teach you everything you need to know and help you craft a portfolio to go into the real world and just pursue comedy. There you go. Huge. That's huge. So basically I went to school for writing at NYU and you had to fight to get into classes that were like that. And I went to school for it at NYU and literally majored with a concentration in television writing at NYU Tisch, dramatic writing.

And I didn't even ever get to take a late night writing course because it was competitive to get into. And I was in the department. Yeah. And I was alphabetical the way they decided who got the classes. And my name started with R. So, yeah, by all means, you should totally go there. Well, yeah, a lot of people have been telling me mixed things

about majoring in something like comedy because the thing is, I mean, you can't learn comedy you're either you are you have to either be you have to learn it yeah obviously but you comedy isn't a thing that you can take a class and you have to learn it through doing it you because you form your stand-up act by trying it out on people but at the same time you have to master your craft. And you're gaining so much practical knowledge. Yeah, exactly. And you need to build a portfolio.

You need to learn how to be in an ensemble. You need to learn how to not think you're the best person in the room. There are a lot of things that you need to learn. A lot of people have been like, no, major in something else. You'll get material for your comedy. But I don't think it's about that. I think it's about really learning the format of writing and sketch writing and all of the different kinds of improv and teams and all of the different things that go into it to really

go out into the world and be a formed like understanding comedian there is an academic and classical training knowledge to it there is a a hundred percent. It's a history of comedy. People who take theater BFAs, they have to take history of acting. They have to learn all of that. Comedy's the same thing, just more concentrated. It just feels frivolous and you're like, oh, you don't have to do that. You're like, oh, comedy, okay.

But it's actually cute. There's going to be a lot of comics listening to this wishing that they could have gone to, or could still go to Emerson. I mean, we have some Emerson alums who have been on the show. That were comedy majors? I don't know if Sue needs to mention that. Comedy major is like literally a new thing.

It literally started like a year or two ago. Yeah, but it's still so cool. Can you imagine going to one class and it's like sketch writing and another class and it's like improv? No, yeah. I have friends who are freshmen there and literally they were like, oh, yeah, our a.m. tomorrow is called, like, why did the chicken cross the road? And it's literally a joke writing class. That's so funny. And I was like, oh, my God.

I can't put a price tag on a fucking professor telling me or an adjunct, whatever, just being like, yeah, learn to be humble, you asshole. Like, if someone had told me that, like, I don't know, just, like, way ahead of time. Like, huge, huge deal. Also someone being like, I don't know, just, like, way ahead of time. Like, huge, huge deal. Also, someone being like, you don't need a spec script of Parks and Rec. What you need is a writing sample of your own shit. Yeah, yeah. Which we were still writing fucking 30 rocks. I mean, when we were in college, yeah, it was, like, all about the specs.

All about the specs for an existing show. And, like, it's totally different now. They don't look at that anymore. It's wild different now. They don't look at that anymore. It's wild. Well, it's also, it's not even about, because you can't teach someone how to write. That's a natural thing.

You have to do it. You have to do it, but you have to learn about who's done it before to find your own voice. Yes. Because that's the thing. I used to want to go to college

for writing, but the thing is, I don't think anyone can teach you how to write. It's just about learning the formats and then finding who you how to write. It's just about learning the formats and then finding who you are through that.

Oh my god, that sounds so weird. No, that's like Anne Lamott right there. All the reviews of my book have been like, great book, cliche person, and I've been like, you know what? Oh my god! Is that what they say? Yeah, well, all the reviews have been like 3.5 or 4 out of 5 stars

because they've been like, sometimes the book gets a little cliche. And I'm like, yeah, it's an inspiring book. What do you expect? It's an inspiring book. And I was 16 when I wrote it, so it's not cliche at all, you fucking jack. That's what I would have said. Oh, my God. That's stupid.

So you've decided to read the reviews. Oh, here's the thing. I am a people pleaser. I literally have a heart attack when people are mad at me or don't like me, which is awesome because I want to go into the entertainment industry, which is maybe the worst place to be for someone like me. But that's okay. It's awesome.

That's how we all are. I'm a very, very, very sensitive person. Yes, yes like i will hold on to grudges i will remember everything i have like done a lot of cool things in my life i only remember the times that i've messed them up of course and you know what this is just something that you will also learn that maybe they'll fucking teach you in college is that like just that is something that you just steal yourself against like I would say I'm the same way as you Ruby in that basic way Matt is too but like

we've had to learn like don't read the comments like it doesn't I learned that the hard way when I was literally 13 I mean I wrote an article for Mashable when I was 13 about how teens aren't using Facebook anymore and I literally like kind of got death threats and I was like it was awful and I would read all the comments because like no one told me not to and then Tavi Gevinson I was like I was interviewing

her we we used to both like be in the hello giggles world so like we know each other and I was talking to her on like a panel once and she was like you can't do that she was like she was like it will kill you and the thing is like I read the reviews because I want to know what my friends are seeing when they look at the book that's a thing you know what I mean because the thing is like I don't really care about the reviews but I care about my friends being like oh yeah the book's not even that good because that that sounds awful and like I shouldn't think that but like I do because I'm still in high school like it's not like yeah, the book's not even that good. That sounds awful and I shouldn't think that, but I do because I'm still in high school. It's not like I wrote the book and now I'm off.

It's like, no, I'm still in school every day. I have to go home right now and do my AP government homework. I'm still a student and people follow me on Instagram and I'll go to parties and I'll see people and they'll be like, hey, you're publishing a book, right? And I'll be like, oh my God, let's die now. Yeah. Well, that won't go away either.

You're always going to want to be in the know. You're never going to want people to, like, know things about you that you don't. You know what I mean? That's what it is. Exactly. And the thing is, like, reviews hurt a lot because it's like, you know, I'll read them and I'll be like like do you understand that i spent a year of my life like putting everything i had and like all of my personal stories because

if you read the book like it's very personal it's about the common teenager but i i said to myself before i started writing the book there is no way i can write a book about all teenagers and not talk about my personal self-experiences because i say this in the first chapter you do i'm so sorry i i'm not a girl who likes girls i'm not a boy who likes boys or a boy who likes girls i can only tell you what i've been through and i can only tell you my personal experiences so i use what i've gone through to just help people get through what they're going through i can't know what it's like to live in a household where there's five people in it i've grown up with just my mom the family chapter was the hardest chapter i had to write because i had no idea how to relate to people who didn't have relationships with their

parents but also people who had dads who were present people who had siblings i had no idea what to do and then the way i figured out was just like talk about me talk about what i've been through and how i got through it and be honest with that and then on the flip side of that it's like just like how you feel like well there's no way i can speak to all of these different experiences like i mean there there is some onus on the reader to be to just be open-minded and accept your experience as something that they should hear about because they should. And so, yeah, we fully hear you.

I think it's super cool, and I encourage. I've read quite a bit of it today. I really encourage everyone that's listening to preorder the book, Earth Hates Me. What does the title mean to you? Earth Hates Me? So originally the book um earth hates me what does the title mean to you earth hates me so originally the book was titled bratty which is my mom's nickname for me uh growing up but then in one of my chapters i write and i and in in the heartbreak chapter i was like sometimes i wake up

and i feel like the earth hates me because everyone hates me going on some stupid rant. And then the woman who is the book cover designer was reading through the book to get a sense of the book so that she could figure out what the design was going to be. And she was like, hey, I know you like the title you came up with, but what do you think of Earth Hates Me? It was a line in one of your chapters, and I really think it's funny. Yeah. And I was like, oh, my God, that is so my book. It's self-deprecating, which is exactly my humor and basically is the whole book. And also, it's exactly what every teenager feels like.

Oh, yeah. But it's so funny and specific to that sentiment at that age. And I think it's a fantastic title. Thank you. Well, you should all pre-order the book earth hates me it is in stores on october 3rd earth hates me true confessions from a teenage girl it is super great and i think it's really really cool to like you said hear a perspective from someone that is your age on this stuff and it's nice to check in and understand that like you know they're having the discussions too about what it means to be what the word cisgendered means right you know what i mean like these things aren't just exclusive to i think in the millennial

generation we get kind of wrapped up in ourselves these aren't conversations that we're only having it's a worldwide discussion and it's super exciting and the book is awesome um let's move on to i don't think so honey okay okay so ruby i explained this to you a little bit so this is i don't think so honey this is our segment uh where we take one minute to rail against culture we've done a live show with this we'll have to have you on the next one yes we'll make sure it's a venue we can get you into oh that's some shade that's not that shade. No, we will be accommodating. We'll be like, she's 28! And that's that.

You're giving us a look like, God, these people. Yes, we will get you in the next live show. Oh, thank you. Yes. God. So basically, it's called I Don't Think So, Honey. We take one minute. I'll get a fake ID. Get it. Do you have one? Don't ask! She can't say. Don't.

She can't say. The silence is deafening. Anyway. So, yeah, we take one minute to rail against something in culture. I loved what idea you had before. I don't know. Maybe it's changed. But we're going to go one by one.

Bo and Yang, would you like to start? I don't have one ready. Do you? I guess I could do one. Okay. All right. Let me get the timer for you. Here we go.

Oh, man. What? Sure, I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. Okay, do it. I'm going to do it. It's going to be on theme for this episode. So we're just going to repeat

I don't think so, honey, as many times as possible as we eviscerate this topic. This is Matt Rogers' I don't think so, honey. Time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Almost all of the teachers

from my high school. I'm putting you all on blast. Mr. Brown, you only wanted to be our friend. I'm sorry. APGov, Mr. Brown, you had a test to prepare us for, and you just reveled in watching everyone tear each other apart. And you know what? You were the tennis coach,

and you did nothing. I don't think so, honey, Mr. Brown. I don't think so, honey, Mr. Riley, my tech teacher, who engaged in a Facebook comment fight right before the election and post the election with my friends. And then you got into a huge fight and you are not on the right side. I don't think so, honey. Mr. Riley.

And also, I believed in you and you abandoned me senior year when I needed you as my track coach. Oh, my God. And I had a shitty track coach my senior year. I don't think so, honey. You, Mr. Riley. I don't think so, honey. Mr. Rosado,

who was my cross-country coach in high school. You tried to use me for political reasons that I can't remember, but I remember that it wasn't good. I don't think so, honey.

Five seconds. This one, the woman who ran the education department and English department who took the job away from my AP Leticia because she didn't

show enough movies. Fuck you. She was amazing. One minute. That is. I don't think so, honey. I said high school teachers. Power plays.

Oh, my God. In high school. You have no idea. They use power plays. These teachers use abuse their power. Yes, they do. And also, it's like house cards. Yes.

They try to machinate and manipulate. Is machinate a word or is it machinate? Sure, sure, sure. Who cares? Whatever it means to you. Okay, bitch. Well, it means to me that they're trying to double cross. Because I remember that we had like a student union president that was one of the teachers in the school.

And then to gain his favor favor like teachers would do shady things and I was like this is not about the students. And when you're a senior and you come of age you know that's true. You do. You do. Okay. I think we're sticking to a theme here. Okay. Are you going for it? I'm going for it but I'm going to focus on

one. Okay. Here we go. Okay. Bowen Yang. I don't think so honey. Time starts now. I don't think so honey.. Time starts now. I don't think so, honey! Dr. Peggy Lane, who insisted on her calling, on us, her students, calling her Dr. Lane because, yeah, cool, she had her PhD in English literature,

whatever the fuck, but she kept lording it over us and making, and you know what? Here's what she did. Talk about power plays. She politicized the entire class because here's what she did. She would always, every class say, Maria Zaleski, she's superior. Guys, you got to follow her example. 30 seconds.

She's writing these really cogent arguments about Steinbeck or fucking who knows what. And she made us feel bad. She shamed us in class for not reading the books, which maybe she should have shamed us for anyway. Who knows? But I don't think so, honey. Dr. Lane, she talked like a fucking cartoon mouse. And she was ridiculous.

And I just, everyone hated her. And she intimidated all of her students. That is not the nurturing environment that you should be fostering in your schools. In a public school, I don't think so, honey. Dr. Lane. That's one minute, Bow don't think so, honey. Dr. Lane. That's one minute, Bowen Yang. Oh, my God.

I have a lot of pent-up resentment for her. You do. I wish her well, but she was ultimately a benevolent force. But also, the way she went about things was pit her students against each other, and I don't like that. You, I don't think so, honey, a woman who had a doctorate and only wanted the respect that she was owed. And you should live in shame. Was she owed that? Because my mom, my mom fucking, she has her doctorate and she doesn't insist.

Same goes for my dad. I call her, Dr. Yang. I call her on the phone every night. But she wouldn't care if you didn't. And that's my point. Some people demand respect when it's not necessarily totally earned, is it? Earn the spec. There you go.

Earn the spec. That's rule number, is it? Earn the spec. There you go. Earn the spec. That's rule number 108 of culture. Earn the spec. Coined by one Ruby Carp. Thank you, Ruby. And I want to throw one more teacher under the bus. Mr. Holdsworth, you used to make the quote-unquote cute girls sit in the princess chair in front of our social

studies room. What? Yeah, whenever a girl was acting. So many things are illegal at that school. Yeah, you would make them sit in the princess chair. And then our principal, Dr. Eileen Rossman, Dr. Rossman, came to our classroom one day and said they had to stop. And you know what? It did.

It should have happened to begin with. And it did stop. And teachers of the world, if you are isolating female students and putting them in a chair in front of the room. And calling it the princess chair. I do not think so, honey. I don't think so, honey. Thank you.

Now, it seems like Ruby's ready to go. Okay. This is I don't think so, honey. Ruby Carp. Time starts now. I don't think so, honey. College application process. Excuse me, the SAT.

Thank you for defining my intelligence Based off of a singular test What happens? My test is 7 hours long because I have anxiety So I get 7 hours of the SAT Excuse me, no calculator section Are you kidding me? I'm defining who I am Based off of my math grades

Based off of a 650 word essay About who I am when you don't even know me? But yeah, please define my intelligence, Harvard. Have you seen the movie The Hunting Ground? You suck, Harvard. Anyways, also

how are you supposed to define how I am as a writer based off of how I analyze an SAT essay? Are you kidding me? Authors who have written SAT articles have tried to take the SAT about their articles and failed. The SAT is corrupt and

as well as the college process. There you go. That is one minute. I think now they'll stop doing it. They'll stop administering it now, Rube. Because of me. Because of you. I don't think so, honey. All it takes is one voice to take down the college board. Let me tell you something.

That is just a money-making machine. All they care about is money. That's all it is. Yes, it's a money-making machine. And the thing is, I consider myself a pretty intelligent person. But the thing is, because everything now in education is memorization and test taking it's not education it's just memorization and then colleges are seeing my scores and my grades which is like a 90 average and like a 1300 which to yale is not enough and

the thing is it's like you know what what if during high school I published a book, I did a comedy show, but you know what? That's not enough for those schools because my grades and my scores don't define that. Did you take the ACT? SAT. But take the ACT. No, I couldn't. I couldn't. You couldn't?

Specific schools. Well, that, but also I have anxiety, so I need extra time on tests or I will fail. And the ACT denied me extra time. Because they didn't believe I actually had anxiety. Oh, my God. A week before the test, they revoked my extra time because they were like, you're lying about having anxiety. What? And I was like, what?

Hey, ACT, we here at Las Culturistas believe women. And when they say they have anxiety issues around testing, then you believe them. Would you like me to have a panic attack in front of you? No, I don't know what to tell you. I brought a note from my therapist. I don't understand what it would take. No, I don't know. Oh, my God.

That's bullshit. But I say I recommend it because it's actual test based on comprehensive knowledge and not just like the fucking witchcraft and wizardry of the SAT which is a game. Yeah a week I was I studied for the ACT all year a week before the test they sent me a letter that was sorry you're not

you can't have extra time and I literally can't take the test without it or I like legitimately would fail. Oh my god that sucks. Let me tell you something. I got a perfect score on the ACT. What? Oh my god. Because it's a bullshit exam and you're not missing anything and if I could get a perfect score on that anyone can. You got a 36?

I got a 36. Oh my god. Look. I got a 31. I thought I was a champion. That's really good. But look here's the thing Ruby. All the stuff about you publishing a book about you performing about you doing all these amazing incredible things that goes in the personal statement and you're fine. Thank you. I about you doing all these amazing, incredible things, that goes in the personal statement, and you're fine. Thank you. I think you'll be fine. I hope that

Emerson, you'd be a fool to not take her. If you don't take Ruby Carp, I don't think so, honey. Don't even think about trying to come on Las Coltrines. Emerson College. The entire faculty of Emerson. And they're all, they've all been emailing. Okay, so this has been so fun.

You guys, the second Monday of every month, haul your ass over to UCB East, and you check out We Hope You Have Fun, which is the stand-up show hosted by Ruby, and pre-order Earth Hates Me Now, which is in stores on October 3rd. Ruby, thank you so much for doing the show. Thank you so much for having me.

We are huge fans, and we hope we've made other fans out of our listeners. And my name is Bowen Yang. My name is Smith Black. Smith Black. That's Ruby Karp. Yay! Bye! Bye! this has been a forever dog production executive produced by joe cilio alex ramsey and brett

bohm for more podcasts please visit foreverdogproductions.com on thanksgiving day 1999 five-year-old cuban boy el boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami? Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. Listen to Chess Peace, the show, Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind-the-scenes stories, crazy details,

and honestly, just having a blast talking football. Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all times, from legends to our buddies to current stars. We're finally answering the age-old question, what kind of dudes are these dudes? We're going to find out Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to dudes on dudes on the I heart radio app,

Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Cheryl swoops and I'm Tarika Foster Brasby. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women. And T and I have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tariqa Foster Brasby, an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and

Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story

from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. I was a desperate delusional dreamer. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one.