Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - The Top 10 Stores
Episode Date: March 4, 2024In this BONUS episode, Matt and Bowen give you their top ten stores. This bonus episode is available early for subscribers to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/lasculturi...stasSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Look, man.
Oh, I see.
Wow.
Bowen, look over there.
Wow, is that culture?
Yes.
Oh, my goodness.
Wow.
Las Culturistas.
Ding dong.
Las Culturistas calling.
Well, thank you again
to all of our
Big Money Players Diamond subscribers
for listening to the special bonus ep
of our list, our top 10 list.
You guys are the definition of not like other girls
because you actually pay a little bit more
to get this episode earlier,
which makes you different
from so many people out there in the public.
And we thank you for putting your dollar
into our great cause.
Oh, I meant, well, see,
I was a little bit more transparent.
Yeah, well, let's be
really transparent. When you get money,
what do you do with it? You go...
Donate to charity.
I was going to say shopping, girl.
I think you're lying. I was trying to align with you
because you said you're putting your money
towards a great cause, and I said
you're putting money in our coffers.
I was trying to marry those two ideas. I'm not even going to hide. My tracks from this podcast,
some of it goes to charity, a lot of it goes to shopping. And that really sort of brings us to
what this episode is, what's on the table in front of us. This bonus episode, as it were,
this top 10. Yes. This is, I guess it, as it were, this top 10. This is,
I guess it's really capitalist culture, huh?
It's capitalist culture.
Money is one of the
great collective hallucinations.
Whoa.
It's
a LARP.
A live action role play?
It's a live action role play. That's what money is
at the end of the day.
And that's what capitalism is.
And would you say that the 10 stores we're about to talk about,
which will make up the top 10 stores,
this is some place where you'd like love to go LARP?
Well, the store is where you LARP the most
within terms of money.
Oh, yeah.
When you hand the cashier the cash, the car.
That's a transaction.
When there's the transaction, that is the ultimate LARP.
If you're scanning at the self-checkout kiosk, that's LARP.
When I buy something, it can only be described as a transaction.
You know?
I think so.
Yeah.
I think I know.
Now,
talk about
the experience of going to the store
because I don't want to,
we're not going to talk about any e-commerce
on this episode.
We're not talking about add to cart.
No.
How about push the cart?
I'm talking about good old-fashioned walking in.
I'm talking about stepping into an environment where there's pieces and really thingamabobs aplenty.
Just like look at this trove.
That's what I want to say when I'm going into a store.
Sometimes I know exactly what I want to say when I'm going into a store. Sometimes I know exactly
what I want.
A lot of the stores
that we're going to be talking about,
you really do go there
with a purpose.
Right.
Sometimes you do just want
to go into a store
and say,
what's going to happen?
What's going to happen?
I could walk out of here
penniless.
I could walk out of here penniless,
but I could walk out of here
with something new.
Something new. Something new.
Something that really lifts my spirits.
Retail therapy is a thing, y'all.
I learned during the pandemic it works.
And if it weren't for stores,
you would never have a lyric like,
So I went to Neiman Marks on a shopping spree.
And on my way, I grabbed Solly and Mia.
If there were no store,
then Blue Cantrell would have no way of coping with the way her man was wronging her.
Well, that was actually a retail therapy anthem.
1,000%.
And that's when you go, maybe stores are good.
It's actually real culture number 30
because of Lou Cantrell
and her retail therapy anthem
you go
maybe stores are good
you might even work in a store
if you listen to this podcast
you might even work at the store
you might be listening to this podcast right now
while you're working at the store
in which case I have to tell you
you are breaking the law
of your workplace. I know it's not above
board that you listen to podcasts while you're at work.
Honey, especially if you're in Florida,
I know DeSantis has
passed legislation saying people
who work at stores cannot listen to these faggots
on Los Culturistas.
100% he said that. With his chest.
With his chest. And
today we're counting down the top 10 stores.
And I'm ready to get into it.
Let's get into it.
Because I think that definitely everyone's going to be feeling the instinct to want to go out and, you know, pick up a new item.
Yes.
And I just want to get into it so that people can start turning their wheels about just where they want to go.
And let's activate the economy, y'all.
Let's... Give back. Pretend like the heiress tour is in your town
and you're buying up all the beads
for the friendship bracelet.
Pretend you're Taylor.
Pretend you're Taylor.
It's so noble that Taylor Swift and Beyonce,
you know,
that part of the virtue of their tours
was that they, you know,
added money to the economies of these cities.
Number 10.
Hudson News.
Listen to me right now.
There is a
communal experience
at the airport
and it is either
walking past the Hudson News
and saying,
hmm,
is there anything in there I want?
And deciding against it.
Or there is the
really just,
everyone knows what it's like
to go in there
and ultimately buy a water.
And that's it.
A $7 water. Yeah. That you need. Picking one bag of Werther's Originals what it's like to go in there and ultimately buy a water and that's it a seven dollar water yeah
that you need picking one bag of worthers originals from a wall of worthers originals
picking up magazines a magazine a dramamine a lifestyle white a fucking Benadryl
you ever have those little sandwiches
they sell at the Hudson News?
no way
absolutely not
I have too much self respect
see I guess I don't because I've actually eaten one
I've had a tuna salad sandwich
from the Hudson News
there is any other place at the airport to get a sandwich.
You're so right.
But I think what had happened was,
tell me if you're feeling me,
sometimes you show up to the airport just a little too late.
You got to grab and go.
Right.
And that's really where the Hudson News thrived,
for my grabbers and goers.
My grabbers and goers.
But I just think if you keep
walking two gates down,
there's going to be a little...
There's going to be something
a little better and even maybe less crowded.
All this to say is why
Hudson News
is number 10 on
Top 10 Stores
Lost Couch. Number 9.
Pizzeria.
This also is known as Pizza Store.
This is a store you go to buy pizza.
And other Italian delicacies.
Garlic knots.
Garlic knots, such as little calzones.
Such as different types of pizza.
I'm talking about pepperoni.
I'm talking about square.
What?
Why did you?
Rebecca, why did you burst?
What's going on?
You itch-balled.
Oh my God. You what? I didn't eat a What's going on? You itch-balled. Oh my God.
You what?
I didn't eat a tissue.
I thought she was itch-balling.
I thought she was itch-balling.
No, she was just simply sneezing.
She didn't burst out laughing.
She sneezed out snot.
Can we say that was disgusting?
Disgusting.
That was awful to watch.
If you're listening to this,
she's currently going to the restroom,
being so courteous.
Anyway, pizza.
When you go to the pizza store, also known as Pizzeria, do you think, let's go, I'll take one of everything?
Let me tell you something.
I often think that, but you can't really leave with everything.
I mean, you just can't eat that much.
Though I will say that
the leftover value...
There's a lot of compelling choice in a pizzeria.
And I put to you,
what's your favorite pizza?
Supreme.
I want pepperoni.
You want it all.
I want a pepper. I want a mushroom.
I want maybe
some sausage if I'm in a mood. If I want a little protein, extra protein. I want a mushroom. I want maybe some sausage if I'm in a mood.
If I want a little protein, extra protein.
I want a red onion.
I want it heavy on the tomato sauce.
You're like Sharpay.
You want it all.
I'm like Ashley Tisdale.
Yeah.
In her most iconic performance, I think, to Sharpay.
That's true.
What about you?
The truth about me that you don't know is that I really will just be eating a regular slice.
Two regular slices.
I mean, I think that that's... Here's the thing about pizza.
Sometimes it...
Okay.
In the beginning of time, there was no pizza, right?
And so then all of a sudden there was one day pizza.
And I think because we crushed it so hard
in the invention of pizza,
that we actually often try to like reinvent the wheel
in terms of things that need to be on it.
When what we had to begin with already was like a creation
that was worthy of its own standing in the culture.
You know what I mean?
Like a lot of people here think it's boring to maybe just say,
I just want to have regular slice of pizza.
But what I would say is like just stripping everything away.
If you took away the knowledge that there is this culture of pizza and there
is so many types of pizzas,
you would be way,
way,
way happier to just like,
except what we have. It's in front of you.
Pizza is so great by itself.
And I get that you're supreme.
I guess we're
coming from opposite ends of the spectrum.
Duality.
That is this podcast.
That's very this podcast.
I'm thinking of pizza as an open-faced
hot sandwich.
100%.
Wait, what?
Do you know what I mean?
Open-faced hot sandwich.
I guess because of the bread of it all.
It's bread, sauce, toppings,
like things that you would maybe put in a sandwich.
Girl, you are going to be out here on your own
if you're trying to say pizza is a sandwich.
I'm saying the beautiful innovation of pizza...
Don't yell at me.
I will take whatever tone I want saying the beautiful innovation of pizza. Don't yell at me.
I will take whatever tone I want.
The beautiful thing about pizza,
it is a large, flat disc.
Yeah, come back in. She's wiped her nose.
No, it's okay.
Pizza is a large, flat disc.
And that is the innovation of it.
He's trying to...
Sorry, I just want to fill in back up.
So basically what's happening on the podcast
at this moment is
Bowen is trying to
convince me that
pizza is an
open-faced sandwich.
A hot,
open-faced sandwich.
Like a tostada?
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
If you were to put
another slice of pizza
face down on top of
a face-up slice of pizza,
is that not a calzone?
Is that not a sandwich
in essence? But is a calzone? Is that not a sandwich in essence?
What is a calzone?
A sandwich?
I don't know.
It's things encased in bread.
You know what you sound right now?
Crazier than a soup sandwich.
You sound crazier than a soup sandwich right now.
And think about eating a soup sandwich.
It would be a lot like pizza.
It would be a lot like pizza. It would be a lot like pizza.
Which is so crazy to me.
And our engineer is literally doubled over right now
because he thinks what you've said today here so far,
and we're at number nine,
is some of the craziest shit I've ever heard.
We're here to talk about the store experience of Pizza Store.
Talk about what it's like, what the vibe,
what the right vibe is when you walk into a pizza store.
First of all, I want guys
with dough. Guys with
dough. First of all, if you're
if you work at a pizza store and you are so
fucking hot and I want you
to breed me. Oh.
Now listen, the second thing.
When I think about the smell of a pizza store,
I'm so happy inside. Yeah.
I have to sing a song.
What?
What song?
The pizza song.
Pizza is my boyfriend.
Pizza is a god.
Pizza is my sleigh on the weekend.
Pizza's a relaxing thud.
Taylor should do more of that in the song.
She should go, relaxing thought.
Relax.
If Taylor came out with a song called The Pizza Song.
It would be huge.
If you think that Taylor Swift,
if she released a song called The Pizza Song,
and if you don't think that would be one of her Billboard Hot 100 number one hits,
you'd be deeply mistaken.
That will be the biggest song of all time.
She would tear, eat, slay, and prosper be deeply mistaken. That will be the biggest song of all time. She would tear,
eat, slay,
and prosper.
And prosper. The big four.
That's why pizzeria is number nine
in our list of top ten stores.
Lost culture. And I have to say, just the discourse
around pizza
made me so happy. Are you gonna have
pizza today now? I think so.
Me too. Oh my god.
Number eight, Wegmans.
Wegmans.
Go on.
Wegmans is elevated grocery shopping.
Say that.
Trader Joe's, you have to be in the right space for it.
Can I say something?
It's not 2011.
Sorry to you, Jace.
Bowen is so shook, disturbed, distraught.
I'm trying to be diplomatic and say that
Trader Joe's is not an all-the-time situation.
No.
Wegmans is an all-the-time situation.
Here's what I got from Wegmans recently.
Diet Coke.
Yeah, you're wanting to do that. A box of 20 frozen corn dogs.
What?
And it's the perfect snack.
If I'm coming home from a long day at work,
if it's like three in the morning
and not a lot's open delivery wise,
I'm too tired to cook,
but I'm never too tired to pop a cold, hard corn dog
into the microwave for one minute exactly.
And then it's cooked to perfection?
And then I drizzle mustard,
and then I take a little finger bowl,
put ketchup and mustard,
mix it into a special sauce,
dip it in that.
I'm in heaven.
You should do a corn dog talk show.
Absolutely.
Because you know how there's chicken shop date?
You know how there's hot wings
challenge?
What's it called? Hot ones.
Hot ones.
You should have a corn dog show.
And it's just vibes.
It's not even chicken shop date
where it's like, oh, look at us in this chicken shop.
It's not even hot ones where it's like, oh, look at us in this chicken chop. It's not even hot ones where it's like,
oh, they get hotter. This is a challenge. We're sitting
on a big couch
eating a hot
corn dog. And what is a corn
dog if not a sandwich on a stick?
That's from WandaVision. That's from WandaVision.
All this is why Wegmans
is number eight on top
10 stores. Lost Coach.
Number seven. Best Buy. Still kicking. Kicking ass. is number eight on top ten stores Lost Coach number seven
Best Buy
still kicking
kicking ass
I have so many
amazing memories
in the Best Buy
such as buying a charger
I feel like
everyone needs a charger
everyone needs
you're making fun of Best Buy
and I actually really don't
no I'm not
what the fuck are you talking about
you started off the sentence
you were so noxious
I have so many
special memories at Best Buy,
and I was going to say yes, my sister.
And then you took a hard left into,
I love buying chargers from Best Buy.
Fuck off.
Here's my memory of Best Buy,
of walking over from when my mom was at the Costco next door.
I would walk over to Best Buy when she was busy doing her shopping.
I would go to the Dance Dance Revolution pads
in the middle of the store
and have dance competitions with the employees there
to Sandstorm, bitch.
To fucking Kylie Minogue.
Which was really the number one.
People, this was what was happening.
This is where I learned my performance instincts.
Okay.
People would start to gather.
Yep.
I can see this in my mind's eye.
Christmas time,
when everyone was at Best Buy,
I was the star
of Best Buy because I was,
picture 15-year-old me
with braces, throwing
his legs around next to the fucking
32-year-old goth Best Buy
employees of the mid-aughts.
And I was kicking their asses, wiping the
damn floor, I'm sorry, the damn
DDR pad with them.
Do you think that when they saw you came in, their heart sank?
Because they knew that they were in for defeat?
Bowen's here.
Did they know your name?
No, they were just like, that little Asian kid is here to fucking...
Sweat and stomp.
Sweat and stomp.
Would you get incredibly sweaty doing it?
Yes.
It was my idea of exercise.
I didn't quite know my way around the gym. I think you were right of exercise. I didn't quite know my way around the gym.
I think you were right about that.
I didn't really know my way around the gym.
And part of me selling it to my parents,
they would never buy it for me,
but I was like,
I'm going to go exercise, mom.
I best buy.
I think one of the common misconceptions
about Dance Dance Revolution
is that it's not exercise.
Oh, no.
I think it is exercise.
And I think that you proved that.
They had a calorie counter. There's a workout mode in DDR2
where you can dance to whatever
song and it would show you
a completely off figure,
but they'd be like, you burned
200 calories dancing to
Can't Get You Out of My Head
or whatever. I want to ask you,
so a lot of people,
they ask the question of what was the first
CD you ever bought? Speaking of
Best Buy, do you know
or could you guess
what the last CD
you bought was?
Oh my
God. This is an interesting
because the last CD I bought must
have been with the purpose of burning like
um not burning it reverse burning or whatever you call it uploading it to your itunes to put
on your ipod right right can i tell you what i think it is what blackout by britney spears
whoa what was yours i think that if I had to guess what the last physical...
Oh, no, I know, I know.
But go, go, go, go, go.
What? Say.
I had a car rental somewhere.
I forget where.
But I didn't have...
I didn't bring like a Bluetooth thing or whatever.
I didn't bring like an aux cord adapter thing.
So I bought 25 by Adele on CD to put in my car.
In my rental car to listen to.
I think that if I had to actually
say what was the last physical CD
I bought, it had to be one of Kelly's albums
because I probably said to myself
I'm going to stream up to help her numbers.
I have to go to the store and buy the CD.
So I'm going to guess that it was
all I ever wanted.
We both love our Vegas queens.
Yeah.
That's beautiful.
And all this is why Best Buy is number seven on the top 10 stores.
Lost coach.
The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City are back.
I love that.
I love that.
Oh my gosh.
Welcome.
And last season's drama was just the tip of the iceberg.
You're recording us?
I am disgusted.
Never in a million years after everything we've been through
did I think that you would reach out to our sworn enemy.
We were friends.
How could you do this to me?
I don't trust her.
The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Wednesdays at 9 on Bravo or stream it on City TV+.
On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, a five-year-old boy floated alone in the ocean.
He had lost his mother trying to reach Florida from Cuba.
He looked like a little angel. I mean, he looked so fresh.
And his name, Elian
Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere. Elian Gonzalez. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian Gonzalez.
At the heart of the story is a young boy and the question of who he belongs with. His father in
Cuba. Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him.
Or his relatives in Miami.
Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom.
At the heart of it all is still this painful family separation.
Something that as a Cuban, I know all too well.
Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story,
as part of the My Cultura podcast network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
I'm Cheryl Swoops, WNBA champ, three-time Olympian, and Basketball Hall of Famer.
I'm a mom, and I'm a woman.
I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby, journalist, sports reporter, basketball analyst, a wife,
and I'm also a woman. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women
face day to day. See, athlete or not, we all know it takes a lot as women to be at the top of our
game. We want to share those stories about balancing work and relationships, motherhood,
career shifts, youhood, career shifts.
You know, just all the s*** we go through.
Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women.
And T and I, well, we have no problem going there.
Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby,
an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment.
You can find us on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports.
Number six, Record Store. So this sort of speaks to exactly what we were just talking about.
I would say that record store and Best Buy were very much,
it's not a redundancy, it's that they're very closely tied. I think this was a dead
heat in terms of who was coming
in at number six. I think that
the idea of the record store sort of speaks
to another type of store that's going to come in a little bit later
and that you really go in for the experience
and I will say some of the
coolest stores I see
in New York, in LA area,
is like a hybrid record store slash coffee place.
Totally.
You know what I mean?
There's a really cool place in Greenpoint,
like in North Greenpoint,
around where I used to live,
which is like half record store, half coffee place.
And also, if you think there's not a venue
in the back for standup night, you'd be wrong. And also, if you think there's not a venue in the back for standup night,
you'd be wrong.
And honey,
if you don't,
if you think there isn't a place
to get a fucking barbershop cut
at the record store,
coffee shop,
standup venue.
100%.
You'd be deeply mistaken.
Deeply sorely.
You know that we shot my video
for Everything You Want
featuring Muna
at a record store
that was also a bar
that also
had a stage.
Thank God because that video had a stage. Thank God
because that video
turned out amazing
and also
that is the perfect place
to shoot a music video
where you need
different kinds of sets.
100%.
We got there
and we were like,
and it was that moment,
Bowen,
of like,
can you believe
we have this space?
And that is true
of so many record stores
across the globe.
Thank you to Amoeba.
Thank you to Rough Trade.
R.I.P. Tower Records.
R.I.P. Tower. We do remember you. We you to Rough Trade. RIP Tower Records. RIP Tower.
We do remember you. We remember you fondly.
And all this is why. This is why record stores
are number six on top
ten stores. Lost Cult.
Shout out to Twist and Shout in Denver.
I think it's still around. Maybe it isn't.
I hope so. Number five.
Lord and Taylor. Talk about this
because I don't really have any real connection
to Lord and Taylor
so this is sort of
like my Wegmans
yes
Lord and Taylor
was a place
where my mom
would take me
to go shop
it was often
like
so Lord and Taylor
was I guess
like a little department store
where they just had
I wouldn't call it
like a ton of fast fashion
except like kind of wood
like it was a lot of...
You'd go there to buy a duster.
You'd go there to buy some cheaper t-shirts.
You know what I mean?
Like Lord & Taylor.
If you know, you know.
Sure.
But Lord & Taylor...
Sort of like Nordstrom.
Right.
And this is what I was going to bring up,
which is,
why did Lord & Taylor make the list and not Nordstrom?
And I don't want to challenge it.
I just want to,
I just want your perspective
on what makes Lord and Taylor
exceptional enough
to make the list.
And can I say why?
Yes.
Can I respond directly to you?
I'm asking.
I think it's because
we made this list very quickly,
seconds before we started
recording this,
because Becca said
we had to do a bonus episode.
You're peeling back the curtain.
And that's just the truth.
That's just the truth.
No, I know. Is that we just recorded with Tina Fey, and then we were actually asked very nicely to please do our bonus episode. And that's just the truth. That's just the truth. No, I know.
Is that we just recorded
with Tina Fey
and then we were actually
asked very nicely
to please do our bonus episode.
that we're so late.
Yeah,
because this episode
is very late.
It's very late.
Becca asked us so nicely
but then she edgeballed.
We thought she edgeballed
but then she actually
sneezed and snot came out.
Yeah, she sneezed
on the beat
and the beat got sicker.
Beyonce all on his mouth
like Becca.
Have you ever heard that?
Has anyone ever done that?
Beyonce all on his mouth
like Becca.
Beyonce all on his mouth
like Becca.
Do you hate it
or do you like it?
I mean, I love Beyonce
so I love her.
There you go.
And Beyonce is in your mouth
all the time.
All right.
There you go.
So all this is why
Lord and Taylor
is number 5
you know who's loving this list
my mom
Countess Luanne
just tagged me in a story
I love that
what's this gonna be
you wanna look
let's just look
oh
the picture
it's me asking a question
about whether or not
she's coming back to Rony
well then
cause I was at her
famously after the show
she's not crushing the rumors
not beating the allegations
not beating those returning allegations.
Number four.
Costco!
Now, a lot of you may be wondering
why this didn't make...
Four might be a low placement.
I think that to say this is like...
This is almost a snub.
This is almost a snub,
but also, you know what my theory is
on why it was snubbed?
The card of it all. The membership of it all snubbed um that the card of it all the membership of it all
you're right the tears of it all
gatekeeping
it's gatekeeping literal gatekeeping
literal highlight keeping
let me look at the receipt and quickly
do a little eye of your shopping cart
I didn't know I was on trial just walking into the store
the surveillance state is
with us.
Oh, yeah. This 70
year old woman is like eyeing me
down. Yeah.
It's already,
the real world is already socially
stratified in such perverted
ways. And for me to be
reminded of that, if I go into Costco and if
I want to apply for a membership, oh, there's this
tier, there's the gold, the executive.
I don't want to hear it. I want to go to
the store and just shop.
Can I say something?
I'm calling you in.
This has gone to a very negative place.
No. This has gone to a very
negative place. I love Costco.
I know you do, sister. And I know
that what you're trying to say is that they should make it easier
to be more equitable. It should be cardholders,
non-cardholders.
And even that's
gatekeeping. So let's just say
to those in charge,
we want to share in the joy of this store.
Everyone wants to come
to Costco.
This is actually my thing.
I wrote a sketch about Costco with Kim
Kardashian, by the way,
where we sang about the virtues of Costco.
They didn't say a peep.
They didn't send us one Beef Wellington.
They didn't send us one $2, $1.50 hot dog.
Again.
That's crazy to me.
This has gone to a very negative place.
I don't want to be entitled, but we put you on the map.
See, that's crazy.
Kim and I did that.
This is crazy to me
that you would say
that you and Kim Kardashian
put Costco on the map.
Kris Jenner didn't do shit.
Well, I don't think...
Tina Nose didn't do shit
about Costco.
All right.
I don't care.
No one gives a shit
that they go to Costco.
Their moms, of course,
they're going to Costco.
I'm here, a young gay man...
Say it.
...with the most famous woman in the world.
Okay.
Boosting your signal.
And nothing.
I agree with you.
It's a travesty.
I do want to say though,
just to say how much we love Costco,
because I do think this,
this will be closer to their heart.
You know what I mean?
Like if you want to actually reach out and touch somebody,
you have to do it with kindness. you have to do it with kindness.
You have to do it with kindness.
And can we say, Costco,
you have given us so much,
such as samples of food.
There is no other store
that is doing samples like Costco.
There is no other store
that is doing...
All the produce
is in the coldest room
in the world
where you have to walk
through the plastic fucking petals that
hang down from the door. A parking lot,
more like parka, is what I need to be
wearing in that aisle.
Bitch. Eight. Eight.
What's four plus four?
Eight. How many letters
in devoured? Eight.
How many continents
should there be? Eight. Eight.
That's what would the
eight continent be
North Pole hun
you think
Kimberly Locke
should release a song
I think I landed
on the
eighth continent
yeah
yeah
yeah
yeah
I don't know
if you should do that
I think the song's fine
how it is
and that is why
Costco is number four on top 10 stores.
Lost College.
Number three.
Thrifting.
Thrifting.
Thrift.
I'm sorry, thrift.
Thrift stores.
Thrift stores, yes.
You feel you're a part of the problem?
You feel you're a part of the problem doing fast fashion?
I'm talking to you, the reader.
You can change.
Go to a thrift store today.
Greta Thunberg
implores you.
Thunberg, sorry. You know who would be so thrilled
with you? Chloe Sevigny.
Chloe Sevigny. She famously
thrifts her little behind
off. If you want to be a fashion
icon like Chloe,
get it together, hun.
Head to the thrift store. Toss a bunch
of stuff together. You don't know if it's going to be iconic
or not. Right. This is the most, this is
some of the most ethical shopping you can do.
100%. But the reason why
it's number three and not two or one,
what were you laughing about? I'm laughing
at you being like,
this is so ethical. Oh, then I looked at number
two.
We'll get to that. Don't worry.
Yeah, I know, I know, I know, I know.
The only note I have for thrift stores.
Okay.
Let's do something about the smells.
Okay.
I know this is all secondhand,
and this is all,
we're going to great lengths
to make sure that this is all presentable
and that people want to buy
and repurchase these things.
I think the barrier of entry
for a lot of people is the smell.
Have you ever donated
to a thrift store?
Absolutely.
If you don't think
that when I moved apartments,
I went to the Goodwill
in Queens
because that was the closest one.
And then I did
four trips to that Goodwill
with bags of clothes.
Good for you.
You have another thing coming.
I've done repeat trips
to Out of the Closets.
Oh, we love Out of the Closet. We love
Village Discount in Chicago.
We love L Train Vintage in New York,
specifically Brooklyn. Can I give a peek behind
the curtain? So all, speaking of my
video earlier, everything I
wore for my music videos
and my styling for the
album that I released last year
called Have You Heard of Christmas
was all thrifted
by our friend
Melissa Lehman
Melissa Lehman
who is a thrifting icon
at Mulsimouse
M-U-L-S-Y-M-O-U-S-E
Best vibes in a person
Incredible vibes
Incredible thrift talent
Yes
and dressed me down
with all thrift stuff
and I will say as a result
of that experience working with her on it, I've been
very into
thrift stores as a concept and I am
not going to lie, I used to be that girl doing
a lot of fast fashion and trying to cut
back, cut back, cut back. We're learning, we're learning.
Always learning, like a sponge.
That's what they do.
And that is why thrift stores is
number three on top 10 stores.
Lost Colt.
Number two,
Apple.
I'm going to give you
the floor here
because I think that you,
you more than anyone I know,
know their way around
an Apple store.
I know exactly
where the things
are hidden.
Oh,
check the tables,
the display tables.
There's a hidden drawer there.
Treasures unsold.
Sorry, I didn't match your pitch.
You were maybe coming for me a little
for saying the ethics of Apple Store
is a little questionable.
For sure.
They're going carbon neutral by 2050
or something. We love Apple.
And there might not even be a world by then.
But they're making inroads.
I will say one thing that frustrates me, Apple, is...
So I have the new iPhone here, right?
The charger...
USB-C.
USB-C, okay.
So can I actually ask my sister this question?
Because I feel, like I said, you might have the answer.
If anyone does in my life, it's going to be you.
So there's the USB-C.
Now this is the new charger for the new iPhone.
Then you go into your car.
And some cars now have
USB-C.
But is there an option for USB
that plugs into
USB-C? There are some cords
that go USB-A
to USB-C.
I've got to find those cords. They sell them.
Go to a Best Buy. Go to the Hudson News. I'm trusting you, cords. They sell them. All right. Go to a Best Buy.
Go to the Hudson News.
I'm trusting you, girl.
I have them.
I have multiple cords.
Do you think I can go to number 10 on this list
and get something I can't get at number two?
They sell it at number two.
Or they also sell the adapter.
All right.
I get very confused and turned around
with the USB-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D of it all.
Excuse me?
I just get very turned around
when it comes to different
USB variants.
I don't know why life can't just be more
simple. Can I say that?
That's the point of USB-C is that
everything is going to be USB-C
in the near future. But this
whole journey started, I'm going to say
even seven years
ago when people were like,
we're making the switch to USB-C.
It's going to take a minute.
Okay.
And we're in this transition phase now.
I'm feeling that discomfort right now
in my 2024 Black Hyundai Elantra.
I'm going to check in with you
in about three years,
I'm going to say.
You're going to be like,
I don't remember,
I can't live without USB-C.
Trust me.
Does Highway got a new car?
No.
Got a new car.
What color?
Black.
Amazing.
Hey, be careful.
People might get in thinking it's an Uber.
Well, listen.
Better that than my red car.
I know.
You know, I was driving a red Hyundai Elantra.
You called it Wanda.
We named it Wanda, the Scarlet Witch.
You can understand why.
Wanda Maxima.
And I was getting tickets a lot
because I think the car was too ostentatious.
And I remember that's what Joel Kim Booster
said when I picked him up one day. He said,
I don't like this car. And I thought, that's very rude,
Joel Kim. And then he said, well,
it's not your personality. It's too
ostentatious. And then I had
to really understand
the fact that he doesn't think I'm ostentatious.
There's nothing wrong with being ostentatious.
I wish he thought I was more ostentatious
because I felt the car was
very my personality.
I loved that car. I was very sad
to see it go.
The Apple Store...
What's your favorite memory
of Apple Store?
All the geniuses I've met.
Yeah.
Some really good people there.
Unique. Loving. Some really good people there. Unique.
Unique.
Loving.
That's what you are.
Tech superstars.
That is why Apple Stores is number two on top 10 stores.
The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City are back.
I love that.
I love that.
Oh, my gosh.
Welcome.
And last season's drama was just the tip of the iceberg.
You're recording us?
I am disgusted.
Never in a million years after everything we've been through
did I think that you would reach out to our sworn enemy.
We were friends.
How could you do this to me?
I don't trust her.
The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.
Wednesdays at 9 on Bravo.
Or stream it on City TV+.
On Thanksgiving Day, 1999,
a five-year-old boy floated alone in the ocean.
He had lost his mother trying to reach Florida from Cuba.
He looked like a little angel. I mean, he looked so fresh.
And his name, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere.
Elian Gonzalez.
Elian Gonzalez.
Elian.
Elian.
Elian Gonzalez.
At the heart of the story is a young boy and the question of who he belongs with.
His father in Cuba.
Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him.
Or his relatives in Miami.
Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom.
At the heart of it all is still this painful family separation.
Something that as a Cuban, I know all too well.
Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story,
as part of the My Cultura podcast network,
available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
I'm Cheryl Swoops, WNBA champ, three-time Olympian,
and basketball Hall of Famer.
I'm a mom, and I'm a woman.
I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby, journalist, sports reporter,
basketball analyst, a wife, and I'm also a woman.
And on our new podcast,
we're talking about the real obstacles
women face day to day.
See, athlete or not, we all know it takes a lot as women
to be at the top of our game.
We wanna share those stories
about balancing work and relationships,
motherhood, career shifts,
you know, just all the s*** we go through.
Because no matter who you are,
there are levels to what we experience as women.
And T and I, well, we have no problem going there.
Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops
and Tarika Foster-Brasby,
an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment.
You can find us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports.
This is number one.
And here's the thing.
We just had our guest, Tina Fey.
She left the studio and we said,
you know, we're doing the top 10 stores.
What's the number one store?
And she said on three, one, two, three, Target.
This is, I mean, you must have all seen this coming.
Especially by the time we got to number five
and you were like, they haven't said Target yet.
You know, one of the great things about Target too
is they're so seasonally on top of it if you walk in there like when the clock strikes midnight
on like even like halloween thanksgiving like they somehow switch it they magically wave the
wand and it is all the holidays are there and everything is there and like if you want a reef
um what it is wreath wreath why did i think it was through an f in there i don't know because Reef? What? It is Reef.
Reef.
Why did I think it was Reef?
You threw an F in there.
I don't know.
Because I'm so addicted to marijuana,
I love Reefer so much.
Reefer.
Up top.
You understand,
Target is one of those places
that helps you understand
the passage of time.
Thank you, God.
It is the sundial of our culture.
Yeah. And never going anywhere
good luck
they have made some missteps recently
with their pride stuff
and they've caved to fucking
these crazy fucking
we're gonna get in trouble for this aren't we
I don't care
they can take this
what was it that they took all the pride stuff down because of fear
because of fear
they have been a little bit spineless and other take this what was it that they took all the pride stuff down because of fear because of fear um they
have been a little bit spineless um in other in other similar ways around these sort of like um
let's acknowledge that queer people exist well here's the thing is it's like so when a corporation
like let's say like target or something like does the pride thing and they're like we are all
gay like and that becomes very much
the vibe like we are all gay like there's pride
everywhere and it becomes Target it's like
that's one thing that people can choose to have a complaint
about and then when they take it all down
they're like well you guys are spineless
and it's like okay we're just trying to keep people safe
because we have to ignore the reality of the
fact that there's a lot of ongoing
and escalating violence in this country towards, of course, all minority groups.
But also, I'm not defending Target.
I'm saying, is it a sort of, you know, damned if they do situation?
And do we care that much at all that there's a rainbow above like the reef's isle?
I guess.
I guess to me what reads is like. I guess. I guess to me,
what reads is like,
What does pride mean to you?
What pride means to me is that level beyond tolerance,
acceptance.
Yeah.
What gets me is that pride.
You can't like,
it's like the heel turn,
the reneging on it is like,
is sad.
Yeah. And that's all. I never hated Target for having pride stuff. No, you can't like it's like the heel turn the reneging on it is like is sad yeah
and that's all
I never hated Target
for having pride stuff
no I absolutely love Target
no matter what
and I understand
anyway
what can you get at Target
you can get
oh my god
lunch first of all
lunch
Starbucks often
if you're lucky
a plastic bin
for storage
not for nothing
but sex stuff
sex stuff a toaster pills if there's a CVS in there.
There's a Target in Chicago that I go to that I think I've been to on four different occasions,
four different years to buy lube and lube only.
Amazing.
Because Chicago is one of those cities where you kind of have a guy.
You know what I mean?
Chicago... Be fucking.
It's one of the most fucking cities in the world.
Chicago, be fucking.
And that's actually roller coaster number 99.
Chicago, be fucking.
And luckily, there's targets all over Chicago.
It being a major city.
This being number one on the list.
And they have lube.
And that's a huge part of why Chicago be fucking.
Is that it's a plentiful, bountiful,
I would say New York is not super,
the targets aren't thriving in New York City,
the way that they are in Chicago,
the way that they are in Los Angeles.
They're thriving in LA for sure.
I know this, but in Chicago,
I think that's a sleeper target town. 100%.
And
you and I have both been
on separate
scenarios, of course, but
we've both been plowed
in Chicago. Absolutely. I mean, I
have some of my most iconic sexual
tales. Yeah.
And my book is coming out
called The Sexual Tales of Matt Rogers.
It's not what you think.
It's much darker. It's more of a
psychosexual thriller.
It's actually fiction.
But
no, yeah, we've gotten it
in Chicago. Was Chicago
meth for you? Chicago was
not meth for me. Where did you accidentally
do meth? Meth was Queens.
It was at home.
So if you don't know
and you're sort of
just joining the podcast
now and not years ago.
I accidentally did
meth once.
Bowen actually did
meth once and had
what you described
as acrobatic sex
with a man for hours.
Acrobatic sex,
moving furniture around.
I took the G train home.
Wow.
Yeah.
And that's not a euphemism.
No.
Oh, no, no, no.
No GHB.
Absolutely not.
Never.
Never.
But you could probably buy G at Target,
to be honest.
Someday.
They got it all.
Hey, Target,
here's how you correct the pride stuff.
Sell G.
I want to see poppers on the shelves, too.
If you're going to sell lube,
why not sell poppers too
Put the G next to the Metamucil
So that the gays can shit
Stop pretending like it's not what it's for
It's like when I'm in the
You should just call it the butt aisle
Have everything that you need for your butt
You know what I'm saying
It's like why should I have to go all the way over there
You know what I'm here for
I'm dying
Here's what's in the butt aisle Yeah tell me the way over there. You know what I'm here for. I'm dying.
Here's what's in the butt aisle. Yeah, tell me.
Charmin.
Dude wipes.
The lube. Fleet enema.
Fleet enema. Which I've been using. Don't use it too much. Right.
But I'm saying like
you get the hype about
the fleet enemas.
I know. It's going to destroy my stomach lining. I know. but I'm saying like you get the hype about the fleet enemas but it's not it's
I know it's gonna destroy
my stomach lining
I know
yeah
what else is in the butt aisle
um
some
Metamucil
yeah yeah yeah
I bet even at Target
you could get some toys
I mean
is that crazy to think
no I think that's a bridge
to far
I don't think they sell like
you can get butt plugs
and stuff at Target
I don't know about butt plugs.
How do you know this?
But massagers.
Because you walk through the aisles,
you're looking for your tampons
and it's in the same section.
The tampons, the lube.
Got it.
And the sex toys.
If there's a pussy aisle at Target,
we need a pussy aisle.
Period.
I wholeheartedly agree.
There's a pussy aisle. There's a pussy aisle.
There's a pussy aisle.
There should be a pussy aisle.
That's real culture number 50.
Hey, Target.
If there's a pussy aisle,
there should be a pussy aisle.
And that is why.
That is why Target.
Number one.
Is number one on top 10 stores.
Last culture.
Well, I'm super happy
that we decided to
put this definitive list together
as quickly as we did
because we questioned nothing
and that is how you know
you've done something right.
It's when something just flows out of you
and you just need that sort of prompt
from someone like Producer Becca.
What happened was, in many ways,
Producer Becca was the fleet enema.
She got right up our butts.
She tenderized the lining.
She got right up our assholes
and said, you need to do an episode.
And then we flushed out
this list and now
we're ready to fuck.
I can't wait. I don't know when I'll do it,
but hopefully soon.
You have two weeks off. I'll go to Chicago and get fucked.
That would be wonderful.
They have everything you need.
Well, thank you so much for joining
us on yet another amazing bonus
episode. I just know there'll be more.
Yeah.
Stay tuned for the next month.
Wait, wait, I never ever stopped with a song.
Oh, say, can you see by the dawn's early light?
I have such a crush on him.
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming.
To hear more of that, listen to the National Anthem of America.
It's written by Francis Scott Key.
You were calling him F. Scott?
F. Scott Fitzgerald.
No, F. Scott Key. Francis Scott Key. Key were calling him F Scott? F Scott Fitzgerald. No, F Scott Key.
Francis Scott Key.
Key!
Bye.
Bye, the king.
I'm Julian Edelman.
I'm Rob Gronkowski. And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes.
We're spilling all the behind scenes,
stories,
crazy details,
and honestly,
just having a blast talking football.
Every week.
We're discussing our favorite players of all times from legends to our
buddies to current stars.
We're finally answering the age old question.
What kind of dudes are these dudes?
We're going to find out Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday
during the NFL season.
Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio
app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever
you get your podcasts.
On Thanksgiving Day 1999,
five-year-old Cuban boy,
Elian Gonzalez, was found
off the coast of Florida.
And the question was,
should the boy go back to his father in Cuba?
Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him.
Or stay with his relatives in Miami?
Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom.
Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
I'm Sheryl Swoops.
And I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby.
And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day.
Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women.
And Tia and I have no problem going there.
Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tariqa Foster-Brasby,
an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment.
You can find us on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports.