Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - "Thick Joy!" (w/ Ilana Glazer)

Episode Date: September 4, 2019

This week Ilana Glazer joins Matt and Bowen to discuss Tayla Swiff's new album, Long Island as the prototypical suburb, entering the Dunstaissance, when Ilana met RuPaul, her sisterhood with Abbi Jacobson, and Susie Essman as her comedy mother.MERCH! MERCH! GET YOUR LAS CULTURISTAS MERCH!https://www.teepublic.com/stores/las-culturistasCONNECT W/ LAS CULTURISTAS ON FACEBOOK & TWITTER for the best in "I Don't Think So, Honey" action, updates on live shows, conversations with the Las Culturistas community, and behind-the scenes photos/videos:www.facebook.com/lasculturistastwitter.com/lasculturistasLAS CULTURISTAS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST. LAS CULTURISTAS IS PRODUCED BY EMMA FOLEY.http://foreverdogproductions.com/fdpn/podcasts/las-culturistas Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Look, man. There. Oh, I see. Wow. Bowen, look over there. Wow. FOREVER! DOG! Look Matt! Oh I see! Bowen look over there! Is that culture? Las Culturistas! Ding dong! Las Culturistas calling! I have come in today and said we need to talk topical.

We just gotta talk about what's going on because we've been muzzled in some way. We haven't been able to talk about things as they happen contemporaneously. And you know that my least favorite thing is to feel restricted. I have to be free. That is your least favorite. My least favorite thing. What do you want to talk about?

There's so much to talk about. I just feel as if we continue to record these episodes and ignore the fact that we're in the lover era. We just completely ignore that we're in the lover era. And the readers need our takes they need our takes on lover so can you just quickly give your review yeah as if you are pitchfork we're recording this on august 30th we're one week into lover into lover uh it's it's so it's so middle of the road intentionally it's so like she did she didn't want to make an actual sonic choice.

Wow. You believe this was intentional for her to be mediocre? It's her first album for her new label. Unrestricted. She doesn't like to feel that way either.

Sure. No, but I'm saying like, it's strategic where it's like, it's brilliant. Like she did what she had to do. She did what she had to do and she's about to show the other girls what they should have did. It's the album with her most songs.

It's like she is like really wide net. Like here's something for everybody. Here's like me like wearing all my hats I've worn throughout my career. Many hats. Here's a high school song. Here's. Truly. Here's a I'm about to get railed song.

She certainly has. She do be recording those I'm about to get railed song. She certainly, she do be recording those. I'm about to get railed songs. I love it. I love it too. I think it's a great album, but it's like, yeah,

intentionally it was middle of the road. And I think, I think she didn't want to like take two big, like the swings aren't too big, except for the ones that are so huge that they're crazy. Like me, like you're like, why?

So this was a great review on your part of the strategy behind her album. I will now talk about the music there in, um, I think that half the album is good. like you're like why so this was a great review on your part of the strategy behind her album and i will now talk about the music they're in um i think that half the album is good i think the first half of it is like oh yes and i think there are some true bops on this such as say it with me i think he knows and we love that song and we love the bridge the bridge is great and i'm a bridge queen and i do love a good bridge and that song has a good bridge also love lover think that's a classic okay um forgot that you existed is like a little bit bitchy in the way that i do appreciate okay and then i believe that the album hits its

midpoint and then just completely runs out of gas towards where the end i'm like where towards the end i'm like it's nice to have a friend. Truly, the Big Little Lies theme song slaps harder than that song. Oh, my God. Like, if I heard the Big Little Lies theme song in the club, like, I'll be moving around. It's nice to have a friend. I'm taking a break. Yeah, I. But I appreciate this album.

And it's sort of like. Great. Romantic sounds. I like that she's back in her comfortable press self. Like, her media blitz self. She's back to being her media train self. I love, and she's, what a natural. She can do it.

Good for her. Good for her. Anyway. And we should also talk about one more topical thing, which is we are in the Dunstessons. We're in the Dunstessons. This is the Dunstessons. It is the renaissance of Kirsten Dunst.

You and I both watched separately. Do we want to take credit for it? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like this, we're not Kid Fury and Crystal West like out here being like, get Missy Elliott on the VMAs, the Vanguard Award. Like, and Missy Elliott thanked them. I saw that she did that.

That was very cool for the read. Isn't that so cool? I don't think we're that for Kirsten. I do. And Kirsten doesn't know we exist. She, actually actually you know what she wants if you tweet at her

she's connected because she'll be there her husband's Jesse Plemons we love that there's like three degrees of separation but like we're not like we're not gonna be like

Kirsten's a friend here's what I'll say we're not gonna say she's a friend of ours and I don't think she'll ever speak to me but I do think that if she heard yeah the energy with which we speak of her and this was appreciative of it this was recorded months before you know her her dance to songs really began really began so we should say that on becoming a god in central florida is wacko a wacko show but like truly so so great

and like she she turns great performances in but there's some piece in vulture about how like this is authentically floridian and i think i love i love that spoiler alert skins a bunch of gators in the second episode like you see her like here no stunt up like no double like it's her with a fucking knife like yeah cutting into what i assume to be a real gator because there's no the props department is gonna make a fake gator with meat she pulls she peels back the scales and takes the meat out and refrigerates well i just want to say one thing you've been really rude to props departments worldwide i think that props departments accomplish a lot and i actually know i'm working very closely with the props department right now

with whom we're over at Aquafina? His name is Jimmy, and his first props assistant is Alec, and they're both wonderful. Well, I'm happy that you called them out so that I can, by name, Jimmy and Alec, apologize for what has been an assault on their industry here today. Because to act like that couldn't have been a prop gator is really ridiculous and sad. And it's tragic. They're going to build a prop gator out of resin and meat? it's tragic they're gonna build a prop gator out of like yeah absolutely they will bitch it's called a budget no resin and meat no i think it

could be achieved with plaster and paint and hard-working people and talented people that go to school for that and they study it by trade oh how to do things like that and so you're disgusting stupid you're the stupid you are really dumb and You're the stupidest bitch I know. You are really dumb. The stupidest person I've ever known. Well, that's fine. Because I don't really actually trust your barometer at what's dumb anymore. Bitch. Okay. After you said this.

It's a wonderful show. Everyone should watch it. Oh, you were going to say, I was supposed to remind you to remind me about something. Yes. I want you to tell the readers really quickly, and this is going to be a really good intro into having our guest, because she is a fashion icon.

Of course. And a style icon. Oh, no. Tell us about your fall fashion, what you think is going to take off. We spoke at dinner last night, and Bowen told me about his new sort of like aesthetic. My edit for fall.

Here we go. Here we go, bitch. All black, all black basics. Black shirt, black pants, black shorts even. Good so far. We love. Here we go. Here we go, bitch. All black. All black basics. Black shirt, black pants, black shorts even. Good so far. We love. Here we go. And then this is where it starts to get a little crazy.

It's where it starts to get a little unbecoming a god in Central Florida here. Thick, thick, thick black sneaks. Maybe even a nice like, maybe even like Givenchy makes these fun like double sold. No one can afford designer. A gap in between. Okay, you can afford designer. I haven't bought it yet. Well, not yet. I don't think I will. You can at double sold. No one can afford designer. A gap in between. Okay. You can afford designer. I haven't bought it yet.

Well, I don't think I will. You can at any time. It's too much money. Great. And then stop. Stop this. As Kola Skola says,

stop stigmatizing wealth. Okay. So I, so that. Tom Steyer and Matt Rogers, the host of Las Culturistas. Oh my God. I'm so happy to be here with Tom Steyer herself.

Shut up. So I, and then here's, here's, here's the fun part. Here's the edit. Oh, so happy. Cl here with Tom Steyer Shut up shut up And then here's the fun part Here's the edit Climbing gear So a climbing harness A lower climbing harness

Our guest is nodding snapping even Like fucking nylon cords Buckles carabiners You are so fucked up Yes no our guest loves it Our guest is literally so thrilled I'm walking down the damn I'm stomping the damn streets of this city in my climbing gear. Isn't that so funny?

I think if anyone could do it, you could. Why not? Because listen, if top harnesses have taken off in such a way, who could have seen that coming? Why not bottom harnesses? There's still room for the top harnesses to be pushed a little bit because you could do like climbing. Climbing harnesses are so fun and stupid.

They're like, it's not like piping, but it just like a thick cord yeah with carabiners oh my god well i actually i listen if anyone could do it it's gonna be you i'm gonna try and i'm gonna be you know ridiculed and um in the square but we'll see i'll tell you who hasn't been ridiculed in the square i'll tell you who's been celebrated in the square and worldwide. And worldwide. It's actually our guest. It's our guest. Oh my God.

I mean, this actually is actually, I'm going to call it a historic episode of lost culture. History. She, God has given so much, has made so much, has given so much.

We'll continue to. I, she's so fucking cool. One of the coolest. And can I actually, can I ask you a question? Yeah. Do you remember the cultural movement that was Broad City?

Oh my God, bitch. I truly... It was a moment. I could cry. Yeah, I could cry too. And you know what? I actually wept during the finale. Wept during the finale. I'll be brave and say it.

Come on. Because that reminded me of us. And they split up. And I did. I cried in front of all it. Come on. Because that reminded me of us. And it's, oh, and they split up. And I did. I cried in front of all my colleagues. Where did you watch this? The other two room watched it together. Oh my god. Come on. And then I cried. And you cried.

I mean. And no one understood. Like, like, like the, like the modern classique, the modern two-hander sitcom Do Life. Oh my God. You know? But truly like watching them like separate from each other and they were just crying the whole episode.

I was like, this is so thick. Like I felt it in my loins. Stop it. In my penas. Come on, come on, come on, come on. So here's the deal. She's here and my peepee feel good. My peepee feel vee good when I think about the fact that she's here.

And also there's a fucking Amazon special on its damn way. And the title is bleak, but true. Bleak, but true. The planet is burning. Holy fuck. Holy fuck.

So watch out for that in January, but we're going to talk to her. We're so excited. Please welcome into your ears. Oh my God. Alana Glazer. Oh my God. I'm like, my, my soul is coming

and I want to say multiple orgs that's the thing that's always the thing too lately now with sex it's like after you cum how can you expect people to still be into it sometimes the chemistry is just right sometimes the chemistry is just right and you want chemistry is right. Sometimes the chemistry is just right

and you want to keep going. It's true. It's so true. Truly how are? Which I already asked you once off mic. I know and I was like, you know what, let's side for the stage.

Wait, can I respond to a couple things? Yeah, let's go. First of all, okay, I am such a, I'm here and I'm like, you know how you like, when you do stand up, you're like,

you get off the stage, you're like, yeah, no, that was pretty good. And then you watch and you're like, I'm a and I'm like, you know how you like, when you do standup, you're like, you get off the stage. You're like, yeah, no, that was pretty good. And then you watch and you're like, I'm a piece of shit who doesn't know what comedy is. And you just watch and you hate or whatever. I was like,

I literally don't know culture. You guys are powerful. Um, warlocks of culture. We identify our sorceresses, but your sorceresses of, well, I guess I culture. We identify as sorceresses, but we'll take it. You are sorceresses of, well, I guess I'm feeling, this is my particular, like, mask energy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

What y'all are serving is my, my vibe of mask energy. Yes. And so I'm like, this is like, you are the warlock to my witch. We love that. I, I absolutely, the reason to me that masculinity is complete is because you are sorceresses. Absolutely. And we're able to say, and you know, that's really drag. Because I could walk out of the house being a sorceress one day.

I could come back later that day being a full warlock. That's right. And that's my, I'm entitled to that. I'm so sorry. That is a human right. Hello. I can walk around identifying as a damn druid. Whoa.

But then I walk into it. I walk into the forest and I say, I'm a dryad. Do we know the differences? Druid and dryad? A druid. But then I walk into it. I walk into the forest and I say, I'm a dryad. Do we know the differences? Druid and dryad? Do you know the difference? We know. We don't. We don't. You do. For the readers, a druid is like it's binary.

It's binary, unfortunately. Druid is man, dryad is woman. There you go. So I'm like, I don't know culture. I don't know culture, whatever. But you guys are amazing at it. Literally is lover Miley? It is Taylor Swift. Oh gosh.

Wow. We didn't even say her name. See, and the thing is. I know, and I was like Bebo, Bebo. But I do, I do. It's so crazy to me. that's how you know we're in a hashtag media bubble yeah

is that we no one else gives a shit about what we care about constantly thank you Tracy thank you Tracy Tracy hot senior producer

HSP wait HSPT HSPT hot senior producer Tracy has brought us some coffees and can you say that on the mic

thank you so much they only had all chocolate items. So I did buy you a plain croissant from the deli but... Tracy! So that's high maintenance Bowen. No, no, no, no, no, no. I was so chill about it. You guys can vouch for this. I was like, thank you

HSBT. No, I would love it. I was just like, I would love a pastry from the coffee shop. If it's only chocolate stuff, I don't want it. She went to the damn bodeg. She went to the damn bodeg. I'll eat this later. I love a croissant in a bag.

And I actually think you should eat it now because sound effects wise, it's hilarious. Oh my gosh. The prop bit. Oh, come on. Hysterical. You guys are cracking me up. And then also, okay, so I didn't know it was Taylor Swift. I guess I don't really know Taylor Swift stuff.

That's fine. That's fine. That's fine. Are you guys obsessed? Well, we have such complicated relationships with her. We have a complicated relationship with Taylor. But one that includes love and obsession and watching. One that includes us literally boycotting her music because of she didn't, and also seeing her twice live. Hilarious.

So we are literally. Boycotting her music how then? Just not listening? Not listening. Ohilarious. So we are literally But how did her music how then? Just not listening? Not listening. Oh right okay. Not listening. Truly there was like a year and a half

where I just was like I can't listen to Taylor. We made a conscious decision when she was sorry but the week during the election. Week I was like

oh you're she was being used as a like neo-Nazi symbol like a white supremacist symbol online. And was like cool with it. And yeah I mean this is like what you're like referring to but i'm like you you look like it yeah you look like a nazi's wife so you have to say that you're not right so the thing is you and it's weird now

because like the one thing that's like right now the focus has been very on like her new image and and whatnot but like in her interviews which is what fake woke which is like um i'm gay icon queer ally yeah okay but also positive so it's a complicated position we find ourselves in as queers and queer allies because it's like anytime anyone steps forward and is like i am your ally and i'm advocating for you and she has the petition and everything and she's very kind of like active and advancing our rights. But here's the rub I have with it all. Because she acts like she didn't realize that she wasn't doing enough.

But it's like, how could you not realize? But she's like the model white woman in that way. Even if she did realize her narrative can support that. You know what I mean? Because she is like the white woman. Okay, I have a couple questions she did realize, like, her narrative can support that. You know what I mean? Because she is, like, the white woman. Okay, I have a couple questions. So what is it that you like

her songs? I literally don't know. Yeah. For me, at least. And I think for you, too, Matt. We can explain this. I think you and I are able to, like,

really peel back, like, the writerly- Like, she is a- She's a songwriter. She's a very, very good, undeniably good songwriter and you feel that and it's it's that's her she's right she writes all her songs yeah that's all her songs i literally like kind of didn't know i guess i did but it's like right she writes all

her songs she just has like wow like i've listened to like these fucking switched on pop podcasts like where they dig into the songwriting with her stuff and it's like wow oh yeah she's like doing like she's like intentionally like employing these things of like you know declamation or whatever the songwriting terms like the phrasing all that it's like but what are you talking about like that like verbal math or the verbal math the melody the structures are she's like she's

pretty like she's kind of a chameleon in that way where she can like do like she can do like a stadium rock U2 song at the start of her of Red or she can do like a Lana Del Rey song song at the start of her, of Red. Or she can do like a Lana Del Rey song. She can do a hype. Like she can like do, she can like wear all these different hats.

Which is kind of like Drake in that way. Very similar. Where she's like a Mickey Mouse. Yeah. I would say she's an excellent communicator with her music. So when you're listening to her music, the messages are like so clear. What? What are the messages literally?

For example, here is an example of a really good Taylor Swift song that like fucking nailed her fan base and everyone generationally that was listening to it. The song You Belong With Me. So she, this is like long ago,

her Fearless album, which is her first album that won the Grammy for album of the year. And it was like, while she was still doing country music. And this is like her first like pop crossover kind of hit, which was it's about this girl who's like the best friend of a guy and he doesn't see her.

He likes this other girl and she's like the typical cheerleader and she's kind of the girl who wears like baggy t-shirts and like whatever. Is she actually this girl? We don't know. But she communicates being that girl very well with these following words you're on the phone with your girlfriend she's upset she's going off about something that you said she doesn't get your humor like i do and in those words it's like we get it. We get exactly what's happening.

And then the chorus is fucking big. Because you can see that I'm the one who understands you. Been here all along, so why can't you see? He, you belong with me. He, you belong with me. And you're like like I'm there yeah and I do know that song yeah there you go and also you know

like as you're talking about it I'm like right she like I mean crazy that she's a songwriter which is like Dolly Parton you know like and like also like the country crossover I didn't right pay attention to she like makes my like the look her like a picture of her makes my asshole clench.

Yeah, of course. It's so, nothing about it is subtle. Nothing about her is like nuanced. I mean, it's nuanced, but nothing about her is like gray. It's so like, I'm here.

You look at her and you look into the face of capitalism. Yes. That's. Right. And I'm like, I'm honest,

like I get no sense of the desire for sex from her yes yes yes and that you know it's one thing to be asexual like um consciously asexual and you're like this is I don't even honestly I don't have an asexual friend right but it's like but I'm like you know I'm like I I get it yeah you know what I mean yeah um I I yeah I get it like her, I'm like, she's like, it scares me to like picture her fucking. Well, then. Or like sucking a dick or like what?

Yeah, right, you're right. It feels wrong. You don't get a sense. And that's the thing. It's so scary. With her, it's like you've never gotten a sense of who she really was as a person because it was so impenetrably marketed

and like so far away so that when she didn't say anything during the election, it was like fuck like you really are like this created very far removed thing from us and for you to have marketed yourself all along as like i'm the girl next door and we are best friends feels weird for you to not have our back now and now she's here and she kind of says she does and i think she has seen your point about the sort of asexuality of her because she'd be singing about fucking now she'd be singing about fucking now my whole thing is during the election is and this is what i've just said a bunch of times is that

like she was just selectively woke it's not that she was fake it's that she was selectively being like and she was like the like the model for white feminism for a time when that was like, when that little buzzword was in the conversation. But she was like, she was like speaking out against sexual assault in this way that was like empowering. And she was like speaking as a victim of it and like, cool. But then like for you to like not say a fucking word during ground by the

pussy, like insane, insane, rough, rough. So that's what it was. Betraying. And it's,

it feels like, you know what? It's like, it wouldn't. So that's what it was. Betraying. Rough and it feels like you know what it's like it wouldn't so now she Not to put the onus on a woman to even like

speak on it but like But I do think that you know what it's kind of like But Taylor Swift speak up.

Yeah speak up. But like I appreciate that. Yeah the thing is though it's kind of like now she has been asked about why she was silent and she has an answer for it.

Have you heard this? No. So she says that this was right after the kanye kim fallout so it was right after the kanye kim thing when they kind of like called her out for like being fake whatever everyone was calling her a snake and like like it was like this weird thing where they were like taylor's of the snake cancel taylor cancel culture and so she was very much like felt persecuted by everyone and she saw Trump who she says now was quote weaponizing the celebrity endorsement and saying these liberal people look you have Beyonce on stage and Jay-Z for Hillary they don't care about you you know I care about you like he was kind of really tricked lower class people and even middle class people into thinking that, you know, Hillary and Barack were clinking wine glasses in the sky and they could never know you because

they're friends with Beyonce. And her excuse for not speaking up now is she saw that and thought they'll look at me and Hillary next to each other and think, look at those two nasty women. Look at those snakes. Look at those people who could never identify with me. And she didn't want to hurt the situation. Which, what say you about that? Mickey Mouse marketing wise?

Genius. Genius. Genius actually. Genius. Genius statement. Wow. Terrifying. Yeah, scary. I hope she goes in the right direction. I think she is. I think now she is. I have a question that's mean and is going to be unproductive feminism wise. No, go. Teeth. Teeth. Teeth. Do we like them?

What's Taylor Swift's teeth situation? Okay I think they're probably fucking blinding white. Oh. But I mean are they fake? No no no.

Because it's almost like they rise beyond the tooth shelf. They're because I'm a little underbite boy and like I get what you're saying.

She has an overbite? No she doesn't have an overbite but I think she they're not big because what she does have is if she smiles too big, her incisors are way up here

and you're like, oh, whoa, those are your real teeth. They're her real teeth. And I think, which means they're all her real teeth. Okay. Do you know what I'm saying?

Oh my God. I have never thought about Taylor Swift's teeth. I've studied that. When I, it's like, I guess like I, do you guys read D-listed? Every now and then, yeah. I just like by habit, that when I it's like I guess like I do you guys read D-Listed every now and then

I don't yeah I just like by habit every time I want to like kill myself during like working or like escape I go to D-Listed and that just I'm always like teeth

yeah when Taylor Swift it's a picture of her smiling and she's looking evil holy shit wow I would say she's done a really good job

of making her teeth like not something I focus on. Whereas like in the past, we've seen certain celebrities come out and you're like, okay, what's up with the teeth? Like as in like, you know, Hilary Duff circa 2003. Sure. Where those veneers got put in and you were like, okay, those are absolutely huge. And then she's now figured it out and it's Lizzie McGuire again.

And we love that. And we love that. But anyway. Teeth in terms of Taylor, I don't know. We don't know. I mean, I'm out here saying

that just to like quell the truthers, like it's not, I think they're her real teeth. To quell the truthers. Anyway. Footrunner for title of that. To quell the truthers.

Anything else you want to address? I also, okay, the other thing was just Kirsten Dunst. She like would, I don't know her, but I wanted to tell you like a story that once Abby and I were at South by Southwest for Broad City, but what was the deal?

Jesus. Was she maybe there for Fargo or something? I think so. And she was with Jesse Plemons. And they like liked Broad City and they were liked Broad City. And they were so funny. They were rowdy country kids. Yeah. And they were drunk.

And they were like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. And I think it was still they were quiet about their union. Yeah. Oh. And it was funny. They were just drunk. And I think I wasn't. I don't like drink a ton.

I smoke more. Yeah. So, you know, when you're like in that point where it's like, you know, I'm like, I don't know. I was like, I'm not at the same level. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But when someone like that says they, they like what you do, it's like, where do you

want to go? You know what I mean? Like, just take me wherever you want. And, um, it was cool. We just like sat in a hotel room and they were like really like buzzed. I heard she's like a very cool person.

Yeah. She was really like dorky and I was like almost like like in this like delicious charming sexy way and it was almost like you know like

how cute she is in Jumanji. Right. And you're like that's my friend and I have a crush on her and you know what I mean and like she's like so cute but like also

like she's also my friend like if she doesn't like me back like it's still what I mean and like she's like so cute but like also like she's also my friend like if she doesn't like me back like it's still cool you know like she was like really cute and um Jessie was cool too no like cool

like I don't even have I don't know but that no that's great I love that and I'm not like I think like she would love Dunstessans

I'm like that would make her feel so cool and relevant cause I'm like also you guys like like the whole narrative is what I'm also, you guys like the whole narrative is what I'm getting from you about like the... We've been here since the beginning with Kirsten.

We have. No, even when you say Jumanji, like truly, like here's the thing about Kirsten too, is that in every one of her performance, not only are they really good, but there's like an iconic moment in each, every one of her performances. Yeah. And her iconic moment in Jumanji is her performances yeah and her iconic moment and and when they're in the supermarket and the evil hunter is like looking for them she grabs the cashier's price gun points it in his eyes and goes price check yes and he goes oh because the light

has gotten his in his eyes and she's blinded him and she gets away and I'm like Kirsten. So good. And also, one more. In fact, we'll all go around and we'll say an iconic moment. This is what I'm saying. I don't have. I want to feed you and I want you to go. Okay, so can I tell you one? Please. Have you seen Bring It On? You have.

Yeah, of course. Iconic toothbrushing scene. The toothbrushing scene. Wow. You remember. We all remember, hon. Hon. When they're just brushing their teeth, her and Jesse Bradford. Jesse Bradford.

And I'm like getting wet because they're like brushing their freaking teeth. Yes, and it was so hot. They're teens. He was so hot at that time. He was so hot at that time and then he became even more hot in the movie Swim Fan.

Right. Which we love. And wait, also you can't ever forget from Bring It On Miss Eliza Dushku. Miss Eliza. I was really just thinking about Eliza Dushku. Damn. Because she like talked about being like assaulted. Yes she

recently. And I just am like oh baby Bring It On. Yeah. We actually we interviewed her at was it Tribeca it was Tribeca she was so cool she was the coolest did you ask her about it

we didn't ask her about bring it on we didn't ask her about bring it on but we were just like no it was sexual assault this was prior this was prior

but she was with her brother and they had like shot a documentary about something there was some queer aspect to it it wasn't a documentary it was a film

about Mapplethorpe it was Mapplethorpe that's right oh my god Someone didn't look at their notes. No. Jesus Christ. I was like, it's something about being gay. No, no, no. Yeah. So her brother directed this Mapplethorpe movie.

She produced it. No, they both produced it, I think. They both produced it. And it was, yeah. She was so cool. It had Matt Smith from The Crown as Mapplethorpe. Oh, wow. Yeah. Anyway. And she produced it. She produced it. Cool. And also,lethorpe. Oh, wow. Yeah. Anyway. And she produced it. She produced it. Cool. Good for her.

And also, what's the iconic moment in Virgin Suicides? Oh, wow. Suicide? It has been, it must be that. Honestly,

there's just a lot of iconic moments. I said suicides. Suicide. Virgin suicides. Like a Long Island mom would. The Virgin suicides. But I'm like,

is that right? I don't even know. It is right. I think she, oh my God, wait. Is she like hanging? The iconic moment is that her character's name is Lux, I think. Oh, wow.

I think. We can fact check that. Wow. But anyway, can we fact check that? Kirsten's name in Virgin Suicides. Oh my gosh, you guys gotta get her on Las Culturistas. We really do. She would also, and it's like, honestly, I'm like cut together the dunstessance.

Oh, yeah. Like audio. We gotta make it real for her. And also make it like pop, pop, pop for the images. And then it's like, come on, dunce de sans. Come on. If we send her a reel of every time we've talked about her on this podcast. By the way, I think she might be the second most or third most talked about cultural figure

on this pod after Kelly Clarkson and Taylor Swift. Wow. Yeah. Because I'm a Kelly Clarkson kind of girl. I like saw her like a commercial of it like for a talk show. And I'm like, she saw Rachel Ray and was like, I can do that. That's me. She's like, I'm a Kelly Clarkson kind of girl. I saw her commercial for a talk show, and I'm like, she saw Rachel Ray and was like, I can do that. That's me.

She's like, I'm Rachel Ray too. I'm like, okay. I'm Rachel Ray too, 100%. Go ahead. Wait, I bet she would die to have you on. Who? Kelly. Oh my gosh.

You should go on that show. Reach out. I'm scared, but maybe. No. I mean, she'd be so fun. I bet it would be so goofy. Here's my impression of Kelly Clarkson interviewing Ilana

at her show oh my god so that's so cool you got to do a show with your best friend that is so crazy I'm never gonna see my best friend

because I'm always on the road well my husband's my best friend oh my god oh that's cute okay you're selling me on it yeah I'll ask her

if I can be on it honestly yeah just DM her that's so funny my, you're selling me on it. Yeah. I'll ask her if I can be on it. Honestly, yeah, just DM her. That's so funny. My literal dream is to meet her just once and not weep

because every, I literally, dude, my dream is for you to meet her and weep. Oh my God. I had an opportunity to meet her and I didn't take it

because I got too emotional. Wait, I'm for that because I'm like, you'll meet her on your time. You will. She's right there. Yeah. She's right there. I'm for that because I'm like, you'll meet her on your time. You will. She's right there.

Yeah. She's right there. I don't want it to be like a moment where like I, I don't know. It would be a lot. Do you want, is your thing that you want

to be a little, not, you don't want to come at it just from an angle of fanhood? I want to be able to. You want to be like, you want to like not be her equal. Yeah,

I want to be Kelly Clarkson's equal. You got to be, you got to be like a record. I be like you want to like not be her equal like yeah i want to be kelly clarson's equal you gotta be you gotta be like a i would like to meet her with purpose right and i would like to be measured enough i love that just to be able to like tell her that she was important to me great because i was a little gay boy on long island and when american idol happened it was like um it was a moment for me because, okay, this is like, this will get a little real. But I remember seeing like America fall in love with her and it seemed like she was just being herself. And I was like, huh, maybe one day I can be myself and people will like it. Like it was very. Oh my God.

She's going to love this when the time comes. Or she'll be like. No, no, no. Get out of here. She's going to love this. Remember what she said? she'll be like, no, no, no. Get out of here. She's going to love this. Remember when she said. If I know Kelly. If you know Kelly.

Which I don't. This fall on Bravo. It's time to turn up. Think you've seen it all? I don't think you've been a good friend to me lately. We're friends like that. Who needs enemies? You ain't seen nothing yet.

Cheers to being Germanic. With the Real Housewives of Potomac. Oh my gosh. Can I take this in? It's going to be amazing. New York City. Everyone is a gossip. No one gets a happier life.

Salt Lake City. We don't wear pastels, we wear fashion. And below deck sailing. You broke the rules and now you're here getting upset. Watch all new seasons on Bravo or stream it on City TV+. Let's have a real good time. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski.

Guess what, folks? We're teammates again. And we're going to welcome you guys all to Dudes on Dudes. I'm a dude. You're a dude. And Dudes on Dudes is our brand new show. We're going to highlight players, peers, guys that we played against, legends from the past.

And we're just going to sit here and talk about them. And we'll get into the types of dudes. What kind of types of dudes are there, Gronk? We got studs, wizards. We got freaks. Or dudes dude. We got dogs. Dogs.

We'll break down their games. We'll share some insider stories and determine what kind of dude each of these dudes are. Is Randy Moss a stud or a freak? Is Tom Brady a dog or a dudes dude? We're going to find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Cheryl Swoops, WNBA champ, three-time Olympian, and basketball hall of famer. I'm a mom and I'm a woman. I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby, journalist, sports reporter,

basketball analyst, a wife, and I'm also a woman. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. See, athlete or not, we all know it takes a lot as women to be at the top of our game. We want to share those stories about balancing work and relationships, motherhood, career shifts, you know, just all the s*** we go through. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women. And

T and I, well, we have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Shro Smoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby, an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had.

We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. We talk about guilt, shame, body image, and huge life transformations. I was a desperate, delusional dreamer, and the desperate part got me in a lot of trouble. I encourage delusional dreamers.

Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate, delusional dreamer. And the desperate part got me in a lot of trouble. I encourage delusional dreamers. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate, delusional dreamer. I just had such an anger. I was just so mad at life. Everything that wasn't right was everybody's fault but mine. I had such a victim mentality. I took zero accountability for anything in my life. I was the kid that if you asked what happened,

I immediately started with everything but me. It took years for me to break that. Like, years of work. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one.

Who's like that for you, though? Have you met anyone that you've been like, oh, fuck. Like RuPaul. When I met RuPaul, I was like, I feel, I can't even explain rupaul i was like i feel i can't even explain it i'm like i feel like i'm rupaul's child child i i i remember rue like had that vh1 show yes i'm like i just felt like and like rue will come back in my um culture thing later yes like i'm like i just always felt seen it's so weird yeah like seeing i mean whatever seen heard by rue and also rue like made me feel as a kid like the world i want to be in is out there when i finish high

school yeah and can get out of here and finally like commit oh my god your fantasy yeah and it's not like i'm not like a um black drag queen right you know what i mean but it's like i was like oh my god that world is you're still communing with the world through I mean but it's like I was like oh my god that world is out there you're still communing with the world through Rue

yes and there's like playfulness and invitation and welcoming and like um thick joy

yes thick joy front runner for title of Thick Joy um no but for real that is very it where I'm just like

fuck that was and like I'm so grateful for Purpose but it does um it where I'm just like fuck that was and like I'm so grateful for Purpose but it does in general I'm like such a I work so much

and I'm now that Broad City's over I'm like trying to make room intentionally for real life Abby is too we're like whoa

yeah yeah but the Purpose actually I think it's actually so beautiful that you like for you to like meet Kelly when I go on her show for you to meet her and come with me is like

to cry. Cause I'm like, I wish I could have done that, but I was like, we got to read our lines. Um, you want to run it? You want to run it? Like the purpose has given me the opportunity to issue like presence and processing. Oh, and I am noticing like the limb I'm missing right now. I hear that. Because you've been leaning too far into purpose.

Is that what you're saying? Yeah. And I've been so productive and I'm like, I'm a fucking productivity queen, like, but you know, it's like, I need some like space and quiet to be like our word goop.

I'm not going to say that our word into a mic, but like our word goop i'm not gonna say the r word into a mic but like r word goop and just like primordial goop i got it i got it i got it i i really need to like do it like intentional journey for like fucking you know what i mean like to give that space for that to check in with yourself and have let those moments be like real yes yeah i totally hear you yeah it's it's okay do you want to get like really real? We so do. Do you want to get like really real? Because like this feels like such a safe space.

It is. And I'm like, it would be so chill to just be like present and real. It's also like, you know, for like a gay boy on Long Island, like I was just so, I would just look at Elliot, my brother, for culture. And I'm like, that's what culture is. That's who I am. You know, like Elliot was like my guide and like guiding light and it's like

my journey as like a queer person is like happening through Broad City in real time and it wasn't like as clear as you know like Bowen you like remind me of my best friend Andrew

and it's like it was so clear. We were first friends in kindergarten, if you can fucking believe. To keep that friend for that long. Oh, my God. Like 27 years of friendship. But also Long Island, where we have this, like, we've made it 55 miles away. You know what I mean? It's this small world.

I have a few of those friends. But our, like, journey together, you know, for boys, it's so much clearer. You're like, I'm not like these other boys. You know? And as a girl, I'm like, I want to be the girl. I want to be, like, in the girl or whatever. And it's, like, my journey is, like, opening up through Broad City. And Abby, too. Look at her, like, queer journey through Broad City and how she shared that, you know?

And like it's just what was it that I was like connecting it back to? Just that your narrative is so clear. Yeah. Right. You know? And my narrative is clear through Broad City. Sure. But I'm like I honestly want like part of me wishes that I just met Ru, broke down, and cried.. But I'm like, I honestly want, like, part of me wishes

that I just met Rue, broke down and cried, but instead I was like, really lovely, and I'm like numb. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I kind of numb out when I'm like,

that's just like my defense mechanism. Sure, sure. My body does that, but I think it would be, like, I wish I did like cry in Rue's arms.

You know, I don't, it's like, it's weird because it was that moment it was that moment like before it was real and then i wonder what would have happened had i been like in front of her or in front of my like hero but um it is that thing where sometimes you feel like you're having an out-of-body experience when and so you're not in your body you're out of your body when i yeah when I would like have like nervous breakdowns in college and like comedy,

I would feel really like dissociative. And that's how I feel now, but in a productive way. I see. Got it. And it's like, I want to like break that open. So what does it look like? You dissociate and then you work or what? Well, it's even like meeting Ru.

I'm like, we are so honored to have you on the show. I mean, beyond, like I like grew up like, yeah,

yeah. Did you go through makeup already? Because if we can get that to happen, Oh my God, you let me know. This is crazy.

Yeah, this is so crazy. Let me know anything you need and we'll say, yeah, yeah, we're just going to jump you know and it's like

okay like stop screaming yeah stop screaming you know and like and then even like I mean I just like tried to like allow myself at least I can be quietly amazed for sure stunned dumb stunned yeah like that but like it's kind of this like offshoot of like

the numb thing I'm talking about but like yeah you know that kind of thing and then I'm like guys guys what we gotta do is um you know did anybody get on you know like it's kind of this like offshoot of like the numb thing I'm talking about. But like, yeah, you know, that kind of thing. And then I'm like, guys, guys, what we got to do is, um, you know,

did anybody get on, you know, like I, it's just like, yeah, to be being productive, to be productive. And I,

I'm realizing that's also an avoidance tool that looks really good. Yeah. And like does move things along, but like there's a different way I want to do things. I hear that. Well, there's a lot of pressure also when you have someone on your literal

show. It's like you do have to have that thing where it's like you are sort of like there and you're like the person like you and like Abby were the kind of like there like you are their host. And so it's the responsibility to that but also the responsibility to yourself

to be to like not have this moment pass you by and like not be able to tell someone like I'll be real. We had Margaret Cho on this show. My hero. Number one. When I was when I was like fucking on Long Island being gay, shutting the door behind me, plugging in my computer and my headphones so my parents wouldn't hear me listening to this content and like um really for the first time ever like was was um expounding sort of like these this humor that i didn't know why i connected to but i did and i was truly young and like didn't understand like what a douche was but i knew that her doing stand-up about it was funny to me like didn't understand all this exclusively

gay humor and then we we traveled to her to have her on this podcast wow and um where where was she she was upstate New York

doing a show and I think that it was kind of we literally it was the first time we ever traveled for anyone and I'm also like live bitch

she's like like upstate oh yeah like love love it was um so literally I was so nervous beforehand like Bowen can tell you

I was like rearranging the chairs in the hotel lobby like these aren't straight and we went up and for her it's just like it was a normal fucking day because she doesn't know that right but but i mean kind of sat down and i was like i can like chicken out right now or i can say like that you meant made such a difference to me and i i did say that and I think she kind of received it like okay yeah cool thanks but how did it feel for you? but I'm happy I did it it satisfied the thing

that you cool I'm really happy I did it what town did you grow up in? Islip oh my gosh wait where are you from? St. James

okay we were like 15 minutes away but and yet worlds apart and yet worlds apart did you watch Strong Island? what is Strong Island? it's like an extremely painful but unbelievably gorgeous

documentary. Oh my God. My friend who, one of my best friends who is from upstate says documentary and I've like, I've appropriated that

and it's terrible. So I like had to work to say documentary. Documentary film. But it like takes place in East Islip and Islip and it's like 15 to 18 years earlier i have to see it i can't believe i haven't seen it if it takes place in islip

and east islip make space to break open and like feel the history of the country in your spine you know what i mean like enter your dna and change it yeah it's it's powerful yeah it's actually like it's such an interesting place to grow up, I think, because you kind of like grow up and you're there and you think like, this is every town, man. This is like,

we are, we're living in it. And we are also like on the right side of history. And this is how you live. And then you kind of look at it from the outside or you look at it like a queer from a queer point of view and you can kind of see it. And now looking back, I'm like,

wow. Like I really, I'm,, wow, like I really, I'm, I'm, I'm proud to come from there and I'm happy to come from there. But when I see sometimes like how thick the patriarchy is there. Yeah. Why are you proud to come from there?

Just, well, I, maybe I said that because I don't want to hurt people's feelings. Oh, maybe that's why I just said that. Also bone where in Colorado, Aurora.

So yeah, where that, where that, that, and it's like 20 minutes outside of Denver, just said that. Also, Bone, where in Colorado? Aurora. Where dat? It's like 20 minutes outside of Denver, just the suburbs. It's truly... Gotcha. This is the thing about Denver, and I truly felt that when I went back last week for the show. It was a great show. It was a great crowd. I love Denver so much.

Being there, like existing there, feels like you are in... For me, at least, someone who's not super outdoorsy, not super into sports or not super into like skiing and shit i mean i skim whatever um it feels like you are living like in purgatory it feels like literal like literal you're in suspension you you do not know which direction to go in la is over there new york's over there chicago you're like where where should i end up because you guys guys have this directional thing of like, well, we're 55 miles outside of New York or whatever. And it's like, you guys know where to go. At least in some general sense.

100%, absolutely. You were headed to the city to get out of that situation. I want to qualify one thing, which is that I think that this is- Disclain, qualify, apologize, break down, open up. Deconstruct. And eventually expire. I want to say, I think that people on Long Island

have big hearts, but I often think that it's like, they always mean well, and I do think that they don't understand the sort of microaggressions and sort of things that hurt people from a marginalized community, especially when

they don't know they're part of one like coming of age there and just being on the outside of everything and not really knowing why but knowing why i was like i know it's not everyone's fault it's the fault of like sort of like a system that says to men like you tell your wife what to do it says and it's like you know when emin eminem was huge when we were in like elementary school middle school high school i'm sure and to have that be the most prominent cultural figure in a community where they are already told and they already can view like the fact that like there's no gay people in media there's at that time there's you know men yell at

their wives like yawn because i like can't breathe because i get excited yeah and when i like miss like my like normal breath so i'm just like yawning because i need to like gasp but you know that is literally gorgeous i love that i love that you have the awareness of the air in your body yeah it happens so often and people look at my mouth and flared nostrils as I like try to mask a yawn in their face and I'm like, you know what, it's better to admit

and I'm gonna one day be over it. But I can literally The most direct path there is to acknowledge and understand. I can literally see you getting what I'm saying

because it's like every, I can tell it's true because like when I came out of the closet to people, they were so quick to love and accept me. Like I really had an easy time with that.

What I'm really appreciating is the big hearts part. The patriarchy, be tick. That like, I really appreciate that. It's like we are, Long Island is the first suburb. It's like the science lab for the suburbs. How long do we have? It's the, and it's the prototypical suburbs. So everything there

and also New York is so, such a wild place. Like it is as racist as it is not racist. It is as woman hating and woman violent as it is feminist in a space for women

to be strong. It is as gay as it is homophobic. It's so insane here and um you know i'm i'm obsessed with long island but i really appreciate the big hearts thing because i'm picturing my best friend's parents who are italian voted for trump so i didn't grow up with jews i grew up with like italian americans and like some irish people and then also just other white people who like and it's interesting like italian americans and like some irish people and then also just other white people who like and

it's interesting like italian americans like select when they are ethnic and when they are white kind of like jews also who jews are like um they like will will cash in their like white currency their their patriarchy points and when they want and then other times they're like do you remember the holocaust No one forgets the Holocaust. Honestly, like everybody will remember. Like, honestly,

like, and I'm like the Holocaust, like it's not about remembering. That is what we need. It's, you know what I mean? It's like about not, it's about putting our money in the right place and like speaking up because it's not about the Holocaust.

Like that's happening in our country to like children brown children like you know um and i can picture my i'm so close actually with my best friend's parents who voted for trump i love them and like i just saw them recently and i'm like if i like i haven't like gotten there yet but but if I talk to them about it, they would cry. They would like weep and cry and feel so bad. And it's, and they are like really Catholic and like they, you know, are very, they believe in something and they have huge hearts and it's,

there's a rub. My parents, I've been like, thank God I don't have to do like the white person thing of talking to my parents at the dinner table. But it's like, well then talk to other people's parents because i have like these i have these friends for like 25 years 27 years and it's like then talk talk to jenna's parents yeah you know what

i mean like because they would they would be receptive they'd weep if i was talking about this to them and i like that big hearts element there is such a strong piece that I've been missing. Yeah, I think that is what it is. And I will say the reason why it's challenging, I think, to talk to people on Long Island or in any suburb or sort of any conservative person that you care about is because when you go back to see those people, you step into an atmosphere wherein historically you've been closeted and you've been restricted and you've been sort of cultured to shut the fuck up.

And so to go back into that environment and even be the person that you are now, which is someone who speaks up, which is someone who communicates, is hard because we've been classically fucking conditioned to be small in that space. It's violent. I always call the air of Long Island sexually violent because it is. It is. Can I ask you a Colorado question? Yeah, yeah. Do you see this insane pressure that we have

around our narrative? No, I absolutely, and this is what you're talking about with clear narratives because I did not have a clear, that's what I'm saying. About Colorado. There's no clear narrative in Colorado. I know, and this is what you're talking about with clear narratives, because I did not have a clear, that's what I'm saying. But about Colorado. There's no clear narrative in Colorado.

I know, and New York is like, I'm the star of a movie. I'm the star. Because so many movies are made here. And America, we think we're the star of a fucking movie from coast to coast. And now in the middle, it's like, we're the stars of the movie too. Sure, sure. Otherwise, we're going to, you know, it's like, we're the stars of the movie too. Sure, sure. Otherwise, we're gonna let, you know, it's like the divide or whatever.

But for you guys talking about Long Island, it's just very interesting because it's like I said, there's a gradient about which you guys move towards New York. You go west, young man. Literally, there is one, there's the big

city. Yeah, yeah yeah so it's interesting to hear you talk about it being in the middle of the country which is like where do you go because Denver ain't it Denver ain't it

oh my god can I just really quickly can I really quickly really quickly oh my gosh please take your time Pat and I were in Denver eating at Illegal Pete's

downtown wanted to show Pat this like fun Denver burrito place and then this I feel this aggressive tap on my shoulder and I turn around and this before I feel this aggressive tap on my shoulder

and I turn around and this before I even turn around this girl goes do you remember me? Yikes! Yikes! Yikes!

No, no, no. It was fine. But then and then I looked into her eyes and a miracle happened. I said Brittany Colston

first and last name came right back to me. I said Brittany Colston Thank you last name came right back to me I said Brittany Colston I'm using her real name yeah she will never listen to this and also thank you God I love that miracle thank you God what a miracle that was a true miracle thank you brain programming humanity is the biggest like miracle there is

thank you youth somehow thank you youth Brian with a J at the end Brian and then Brittany Colston oh my god hi and she Brian Brian with a J at the end Brian Brian I and then Brittany Colston oh my god hi

and she I think she did not remember my name no she did not remember how do you remember me I don't remember you you stupid

bitch but then she but then stop but then she's like she's like hi how are you we catch up and she's doing

she's like my boyfriend's over there she's you know whatever she's very nice and then I don't remember you I like, my boyfriend's over there. She's, you know, whatever. She's very nice. It's like, okay. I don't remember you. I have a boyfriend who's over there. I know.

Literally. And Pat can vouch for this. And then, oh, another Long Island queen. Royalty. Pat Regan. We love that. So then I catch up with her. And I'm like, how you doing?

And she goes, good. She goes, didn't you? She was like, you left Denver, right? I was like, yeah, I did. I was like, I'm in New York now. And she goes, wow, because, you know, the people, she goes, because the people who leave, they never come back. And it was like, I don't know what to say. Oh, my gosh.

And then, like, bless her heart, she goes, wow, I can't believe you remember me, but, like, I guess Asian people have very good memories she did not and that's why you leave and ultimately that's why you leave is because you don't say shit like that and this is another miracle I have so much to say another miracle happened I was just I just like was very impressed with myself at how I just

was like I just didn't laugh it off didn't laugh it off. Didn't like give a shit. Good for you. I was so neutral. I was like, I didn't even chuckle. I was like,

I just did that. I was like, oh yeah. That's good. You know, it like becomes like I'm smelling something bad. Right, right.

And you stink. But she would not leave. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. And she was like, obviously a white woman. No. So she was like. Obviously a white woman. No. So she.

That was the twist I could never have seen coming. And that is honestly like this reverse Long Island racism where we think we know. Yeah. That's a twist. Anyway. What race is this person? She's black. But she, you know.

Asian people have good memories. It doesn't matter. It's just like she was just like she was just like, yeah, wow. But she was truly like, the bleak moment was like, the people who leave do not come back. Oh, okay. I have like some additions. Yeah, go. Okay, so I was a waitress at the BLT breakfast lunch and takeout from 14 to 18, okay?

I learned this. Oh, my God. Where was that? At the St. James train station. Sleigh? Just off the, like. Sleigh? Yes.

Come on, sleigh. 100 yards, 100 meters. Sorry, guys. I do meters meters you're married to a scientist from the saint james train station oh and um and uh so i really studied and learned um i got like an early master's in the socioeconomic um structures of long island or like segregated white long island, and like mafia Long Island. I'll just leave it there. So before, so I was, yeah, so I.

Because you might laugh, but they can come find you. No! I'm like screaming into that. So I was about to go to NYU, which I want to talk about really quick. Yes, yes, we must. And, oh, you went to NYU too? Yes.

Oh my gosh, LOL, Escape ticket, but also evil. So two things. One was like, I was like, yeah, I got accepted into NYU. I had brought in Andrew Brishler, who was called a faggot under the owner's breaths.

He was abused as a teenager by the violent masculinity there. I brought in another gay best friend who was safer because of how he presented. And this guy, two things. I was telling people, this is my last day, whatever. I'm leaving soon. And this guy was like,

I haven't been to New new york city in 35 years avoids the city like you know by the tri-borough and then we'll just go north or like gets goes to jersey i don't even know what the fuck the bq to jersey never has to go to manhattan and i'm like how you know what i mean and then this other one i was remembering this the other day alice who got eggs and mustard um and she was like you're gonna think I'm crazy but now I eat actually eggs and mustard like Alice, but she told me when I go to NYU, don't get tainted. Don't get

tainted. And that's what it is. And that's the tell right there. But that's the tell. Don't get tainted. That's how you know it's intense fear. That they mask with pride. Yes.

They say, it's like, we are from our hometown and we're proud to be and we don't need anything else. It's fear. Like, she's providing safety for me, protection for me. I'm like, I feel unprotected right now. I feel unsafe right now. Because I think you actually hate me if you knew who i was right sure oh my god and that's and i think that is another thing about fear yeah that's the fear in like sharing and really sort of i always say like i always say it is a thing one of the things

i always say is is um like when you come out in whatever way you come out and then you have to keep coming out. Right. So it's like you come out as queer, gay, whatever you are. And then you have to come out with your interests and you have to come out with your opinions.

You have to come out with your experiences. And so that is hard to share with people who you, who have been, who you've been cultured and designed to see in certain ways because they could look at you and be like, wow. Either I have to confront myself and change a lot of my perceptions and ideas or I am just going to stay being afraid of you and not understanding you and sort of weirdly hating you. Well, here's the thing. Queerness is never absolute. It's always like, queerness is the beam of light and then you're constantly

being presented different, like, prisms to refract. So, like, the prism is gonna be fucking Alice one day where she's like, don't let it taint you.

And you're like, what does that mean? It's like you just, there's a thousand joys and sorrows every fucking day being a queer person where you just have to, like,

know how to respond to an Alice or a Brittany Colston or a fucking whoever whoever in Long Island like gave you shit I don't know oh my god everyone

everyone NYU okay because you because you were just there for a minute and then you or no you did the whole four years no I went there

I went to I did psych and child psych and it was fucking sick and I'm literally like people CAS yeah and actually first GSP oh my god I did psych and child psych and it was fucking sick and I'm literally like CIS?

Yeah. CIS. And actually first GSP. GSP? Oh my god, I was in GSP. Dude, GSP, that's like kids

with public school education going to GSP. Yeah, for real. Who like aren't so smart. Honestly, that's what it was. Aren't so smart and ain't so rich.

And a lot of Long Island people were GSP. Yeah. Or LSP as they called it when I was there. Liberal Studies Program. They started changes to Liberal Studies Program. Mine was, they were like general. Liberal Studies Program. They started changing it to Liberal Studies Program.

Mine was, they were like General. General Studies Program. You're just general. I think because they knew that General Studies Program like sounded shady to the kids that were in it. I was like, is my money actually going to NYU? Yeah. This is like, whatever.

But it was great because I, do you guys know Matt Stapira? He's a writer on BuzzFeed. Yeah, BuzzFeed. Oh, yeah. He's one of my best friends. I seriously have like best friends and I love New York for that reason. Come on.

So Matt Stapira is my best friend, and we met there. And John, I had two friends at NYU. I found it extremely hard to make friends, and then I made my other best friend into you later. But that was it. I was like, I have two friends. This school's too big. It was.

I got to go do comedy. Did you guys enter comedy while you were in college? Yes. Well, we were in. So I was in Hammerc do comedy. Did you guys enter comedy while you were in college? Yes. Well, we were in, so I was in Hammercats and Bowen was in Dangerbox. Wait, okay. So you guys were both in Tish?

No, I was in Tish. You were in CAS. I was in television writing. I am still jealous. I am still resentful. Are you really? No. JK, JK, JK.

No, no, no. I'm so grateful for how it was. Because, yeah. It's like one of those classic stories of like did you audition and not get it okay there was

no you couldn't unless you were Tish and I was like I'm not even CAS I'm GSP bitch and then the other thing was like what

I like looked into I was just like is there a way to transfer to Tish I gotta be in Tish and it was like you had to pay like another $4,000

per class and I was like already on aid or whatever and it was like you had to pay like another $4,000 per class and I was like already on aid or whatever and I was like oh fuck this and then also like to just do comedy

it was dope yeah I like also I loved the I love psych and shit yeah cause I love therapy that's fucking cool

but you were were you going up to were you like sorry a lot of people sitting in a lamp with my elbow not even a honestly it is the mask mask yeah the mask energy you're just destroying the studio so when you say like you you started doing comedy

like that was like you went to ucb yeah i mean ucb and oh, my God, there used to be, oh, gosh, Rafifi? You weren't. Oh, I. Rafifi, the tank. Oh, yeah. The tank was such a thing. I remember moving to New York. I was, like, researching.

Oh, he was such a fucking idiot. And then I was just like, these are the spots to go to. The tank. Yeah. The tank. Yeah, Rafifi. Like, there used to be, like, whatever's happening, corporate capitalism, gentrification wise. Like, yeah, I've seen in like the pattern of there used to be like many small.

Right. Places to do comedy. Yeah. Now there's not even like the big places to do it. I know. It's wild. It's so wild. What is happening?

But like I talk like just I don't know, being here, it's like making me feel better about having gone to NYU because, you know, I really like loved a post you wrote once about how NYU is like a real estate company that happens to have classes, which is 100% true. And, um, I,

uh, you know, I, it's like a ticket that you buy from out of, out of city to invest in the city. And if you can afford it, you get to like get a foothold in the city. Big time.

Yeah. And it's like something that I used to feel like so guilty about. And I guess I still do, but I'm just like, this is, that's the, that's where I was born into and what I was able to do. And that was my plan.

And here I am. I don't know. Totally. I think it's like, you have to also give yourself some credit because the fact of the matter is we were born into and raised in a system that said you go to college at 18 and so where do you go when you go to new york you what's you i don't know about you i applied everywhere in the new york city area i applied early decision to columbia didn't get in but almost went on an athletic scholarship if you can fucking believe that

for cross country and track oh my gosh and then i didn't get in there cause I wasn't smart enough or my test scores weren't good enough, but I did get into NYU through, through GSP slash LSP. So I just thought, uh, I was not, it was a regular thing.

I have one at a time. So Columbia. Okay. So I had applied early to Columbia, didn't get in. And then I had, I had applied other places and then got into NYU and did that because I, I did suffer from at the time

like I want to go to a good school and they were like you know NYU is one of the new Ivies and that was what they were very much were saying that epic blank epic one eyed blank I don't know about you but me being like

closeted try hard like let me look so good in every other area of my life so that when people find out i'm gay they don't literally write me off i said let's go to nyu it's a good school begged not begged but like sort of like with my eyes were like pleased to my parents like i swear to god this will pay off if like and i did get some financial aid ended up being an RA. Did everything I could to make that work to justify it. I couldn't be an RA.

I auditioned twice. Yeah, fuck. I think they could tell I really didn't want to do it in Smucks a lot of weeks. Yeah. Yeah, so you guys did all four years. All four years. And okay, in your research,

so you were already researching comedy before you came? This is what was happening. I was going to do pre-med no matter what. Pre-med? I was doing pre-med no matter what. Pre-med? I was doing pre-med no matter what. He was a chemistry major. Oh!

But like, the listeners know this, but I just, but I was going on these college tours being like, is there a comedy group here? Like,

Northwestern being like, so Titanic players, when do you guys do auditions? I was like, truly horrid. A terrible kid. And then, it was between UCLA guys do auditions I was like truly horrid a terrible kid and then it was between UCLA and NYU

and I was researching the people in the group at NYU I was researching Dangerbox and Hammercats wow I was like I'm not a writer I'm more of an improviser I'm not

so Hammercats wasn't even like really like no not for me but you had your sights set but my sights were set on fucking Dangerbox yeah you wanted it bad and I wanted it so bad.

I think I got into that group. I share force of will. I, I, cause I had never acted or written before. That was my first audition ever. Wow. And I remember just like,

I'll say I fucking crushed. Yeah. It was literally because I was like, I am fighting for my life. I remember sitting on my bed, crying my freshman year closeted horrible and then i literally went to my computer and was like who do i look up to most in the world so funny amy poehler i typed in her name amy poehler and it's i she said that she was in

her college improv group and she did and she was like ucb that she started it and so i signed up for a ucb class and was like i'm going to audition for both of these comedy groups and i'm going to get in one of them got cut first round of danger box i'll never forgive and then made it into hammer cats and then i was because he thinks it's my fault in some way it is for you oh no this is a good story no no i was auditioning for the danger box improv group and bowen had been in the group for one year. He came over to me and was like, hey Matt, this is so great that you're auditioning.

And I was like, yeah, I'm really excited. I took a UCB improv class over the summer. And he said, that's cute. Well, I'll see you in there. I heard you're really funny, so it should be good. Honestly, did he say that's cute? Cut first round. I did not say that's cute. That's the energy, you remember? That's not the energy. Not exact words. And not even the energy. that's the energy you remember that's not the energy he came over

not exact words he was and not even the energy not even the energy at all literally literally readers so goddamn nice if you can imagine a time when bo and yang and i didn't really know each other and he came over to me in an audition setting where i was the i did not give you that vibe at all no but you didn't but it but like it was so funny because to now think about that now that's so funny that's so funny but you put my my pleasant interaction with you through your stupid rube goldberg machine in your brain and then you spit it out and said bone was really rude to me excuse me what's that movie rasha moan yes rasha moan it's actually rule of culture number six what's that movie anyway um i. Anyway, I was researching people

and then I sent Anna Dresden a message on Facebook being like, hi, when are the Welcome Week shows? When are we near the auditions? Like, I would love to know.

God, it's such a, it's so funny. April 2008. Wow. Anyway. Oh my gosh, and it's like Obama's president?

Bush was president. Can you even imagine? I mean, this is the election. What the hell? Fucking Bush era. What a fucking dumbass I can't

dude we went to school in the Bush era for a minute for a minute for a hot sack you went to fucking school in the Bush era

yeah yeah I'm 32 you guys are 29 28 2000 2012 that was our

god I'm like I'm like fried yo no I have like you know I'm like I love myself and all this but like I'm just like my we're No. I have like, you know, I'm like, I love myself and all this, but like, I'm just like, my, I'm.

We're feeling the Gen Zers fucking nipping at our heels. Can you believe there's someone called Billie Eilish and she's very famous? Come on. Yeah. Wild. Fucking crazy. She's so famous. And the thing, it's like wild.

Like when, when someone is truly 12. 2005. Sorry. Yeah. It was when I entered. Yeah. Yeah. It was when I entered, yeah. Yeah.

So when someone is truly, truly young, and they're huge. It's so funny. It's like, okay, so. I'm into it because she accepted, she won Best New Artist at the VMAs, and she wasn't there, even though Lizzo was between her and Lizzo.

Hysterical. It's insane. Fucking Lizzo should have won, but whatever. Billy won, she wasn't there, but she sends a video message, a vertical iPhone selfie video, front-facing video. Where are we at? She's in her fucking car. She's like, I can't be't be there i'm so sorry i'm actually on tour in russia anyway um she goes she pat and i laughed about it she goes videos and visuals have always been a

huge priority for me so thank you anyway wait lizzo should have won that stuff but also it's like lizzo did win do win so it gives a shit. The moment I found, I discovered Lizzo, stop, stop, stop. The moment I discovered

Lizzo was I stayed up on a Thursday to watch my episode of Broad City because it was like the highlight of my life. Watch, and then you guys played

Let Him Say by Lizzo in the season three premiere and I was like, in the split screen montage and I was like, who the fuck is this? I love this fucking song. Looked her up that night, listened to all her shit that night and I was like who is this bitch the split screen montage and I was like who the fuck is this I love this fucking song looked her up that night

listened to all her shit that night and I was like I'm obsessed that was because of Matt FX so good an amazing

I like listened to like I watched the videos that he would do the features that he would do when he would like music supervise like broad city stuff the best taste

is he a beautiful cool the coolest he's the horniest I'm so this is problematic he's so hot so why is it problematic it's not i'm like object whatever that i'm like just fucking let it fly bitch he's like he's a

sexy motherfucker who has good taste in music like sign me up oof love it anyway fucking love it bowen i was wondering what um i'm really sorry i wish i like uh knew this but i i haven't watched broad city in years no no i know the app but what was your exact line where we i like uh knew this but i i haven't watched the ad city in years no no i know the app but what was your exact line where we're like uh excuse me is there a bathroom excuse me oh my god is there a bathroom here um it's a pop-up yes oh we don't have bathrooms here we don't have bathrooms here this is the pop-up bitch and then get handed yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i just fed you your line i know you did well because I fucking I blocked it out too I was proud of you

so fucking funny I was that was like oh god that was the best day of my life that was that was so funny and also it was

just such a pleasure to receive your audition oh come on and then Lucia came up to me and she was like I fucking love Lucia she was like who are you I was like

Lucia's so hot and cool the best literally the hottest coolest couple yeah the hottest coolest we had them on the show and i was looking at them like they're so sexy and cool they're so funny it's so wild how funny they are yeah yeah oh man it's good to have people in your life that you're like close to and also you think are fucking rad it's great come on and i just fed you your line bitch because I'm a fan of yours

come on okay Ilana let's ask the question let's ask the damn question because literally let's ask and we got a little preview of what it might be

but Ilana what is the culture that made you say culture is for me okay two parter we love that the love shack video oh

wow you're making a face look great because I was like such a little kid watching it on VH1 and was like that's where I'm gonna go

yeah and the nanny the nanny hello listen to me hello wow Fran

come on that is iconic culture talk about someone who gave an iconic forever performance and like that will stand the test of time did she ever do Broad City

yeah oh my god she played Susie Usman's sister. You gotta be kidding. Dude, I directed them. I lost my mind. And that was a moment where like I had to be like contained or whatever.

But I was like, I did say to them, I was like, guys, like Abby and I, it was like, you know, just between takes, I was like, Abby and I are like standing on your shoulders. You have built like the, you have paved the path. Like you've done the like blood, sweat and tears of like paving the path. Like the only reason I'm able to do this today is because of you and like, thank you.

And it was like, so it was so sweet and delicious. That is a moment of stepping out of it and giving them that. And being like, and being present in that moment and like knowing what you are, exactly what you're

like saying and communicating to this person who means so much to you wow and like Susie too and like their energy

like that female energy like damn just like knocked us over we all were it was like so magical to for

for them to be together every time Susie Essman would come on set would be everyone's favorite day of the season. Wow.

First of all, the most genius casting ever. So good, y'all. Since the web series, we were like, that's gonna be better. Oh! Yeah. You two together. Dude, and she literally like is my,

it's like I came out of her comedy pussy. Right, right, right. Like, I was laughing the other day. She, she'll never hear this, so it's like fine. I was laughing the other day. She, never hear this so it's like fine I was laughing the other day she she you know how like

our mothers and maybe it's not as true for mothers to sons but I'm sure it fucking is and it is because I don't know if Elliot said this like

mothers like appropriate their I'm such a fucking nerd mothers like appropriate their children's experience as their own. Oh, yeah.

And it's like we share consciousness. And it's like, honestly, mom, I don't think we do. But then I'm like, you know what? I would think that if I were someone's mother. I'd be like, I know exactly what you're feeling every moment that you feel it. I feel it in my body as you experience it. You know what I mean? So, you know, like my mom, Sandy, does that all the fucking time.

Elliot has this like perfect story of her. Oh, gosh. I hope he's okay with me saying this. He will hear this. Is that she said to him, hi, Elliot, that my mom said to him, our hair is thinning. Our hair is thinning. I love that. Elliot was like, mom, I'm going to fucking kill you, whatever.

And Susie does this to me. Really? Like I've been wearing my, I've been doing like a new do where I like slick my hair back with this like spray leave-in conditioner as well as hairspray. And then do like a little bun. And it's like kind of like Vic to Victoria or something. Yeah, we love. Don't know whether it's morning or night.

We're for mills. I love that movie. We're for mills. And I saw Susie and she was like, I did my hair like that in the summers. It's easier in the summers. Wow. We do our hair like that. That's what we do.

She shares our experience in a way that we're just, it's as though she is my mother. It's crazy. Her tits and her body, it's just so weird. My mom doesn't have curly hair. My mom has small tits. Yeah. And Susie's got big titties. But Susie's got big tits and her body, it's so weird. My mom doesn't have curly hair. My mom has small tits. And Susie's got big titties. Susie's got big tits and curly hair. And curly hair.

It's interesting. That is so wild. And also, the thing about Susie is what I really appreciate about her as a performer is how unbridled it is. You know what I mean? She is right here. You know what i mean it is and maybe it's maybe it's maybe it is like an improv thing where it's like or on curb your enthusiasm like she's able to be so like alive because it's truly coming out of her but what i've always been so impressed with with her

is like there's just this kind of like very vivid alive, emotional sort of drive that comes from her, which I really appreciate because I'm sure she got told a lot like, bring it down, bring it down, bring it down. And when someone is just like really fucking alive on camera and on stage and et cetera, I really appreciate that. Elliot found this insanely delicious archival footage

of her doing like the improv, archive footage of the improv or something about her doing stand-up when she was like 28 and she is like so cute and hot and cool and it's dope wow i mean but she's right but her but you two together is is like a magical thing that like is not just it's not just about you two being like talented or professional it's it's just you two together is like a force where it's like, Oh my God. Like I think,

was it the first episode she was in where you guys go per shopping and you guys go like after the van and then like, Oh yeah. And then Abby calls you telling you she's about to get, she's about to peg. And then you like, Oh my God. Iconic.

On the fucking wall and twerk. Yeah. Alana. You're like, mom, I'm on the phone. So that, that,

that, that for me defining watching that at home I was like this is perfect perfect mother daughter casting and like for what for two fun characters no one's like endangering the other in this relationship

on screen like it's oh my god it's beautiful I do want to i want to ask about um uh just doing the finale in the last season and like where you guys are at now so like obviously you and abby are incredibly close like bff that's that's no way um when i was watching that finale i was like it just felt so vivid and real like the emotions and everything like so now you're obviously not like seeing each other as much as much as much because you're not like in a direct working space but like what's it been like trying to like or what is it like now

it feels sad yeah you know it feels sad he's about to he's leaving he's going to la and so it's like what are we going to do? When I was watching it, I was just like, Oh man, that is such a moment of like the change. Are you going just what? For work and for like my life and stuff.

But like, I was just really identifying. I was identifying with the show because it was like, wow, this like happens. Yeah. And, and Abby has a place in LA too and lives there too.

And it's, it's sad. There's like an emptiness. You know, we like chose for the show to end. Yep. And it is really right, like what you're describing, the rightness of stuff and how you have to do stuff even though it's hard and that's like the joke of life

because it doesn't even like feel good. You're like, what? But it's like that's not even what it's hard and that's like the joke of life because it doesn't even feel good. You're like, what? But it's like that's not even what it's about or whatever. But it's correct. But it's correct. And it's sad and hard and like we are, Abby really feels like, I was saying this last night actually. I was with her at Luger Fest. And she was

I was saying like Abby's my sister and I feel like our genes have, I mean, it's not that far off because we're both Ashkenazi Jews, but I feel like our genes have like changed so that we're sisters. Like she feels like my sister. And so it doesn't feel like, you know, she's like, we're not less available to each other, but we are moving on in our lives. And we're producing stuff together, stuff I'm fucking excited about. And we created one show together. We're fucking bosses and taught each other how to run huge businesses. I think about how much money is put forth for someone rather than, I wish I had all that money. But it's like like how much money is like put forth for someone rather than

I wish I had all that money but it's like how much money have we like gotten to our name? It's like we've, you know, the series of Broad City

that the budget that we earned by the like selling that content and that art. It's like we ran like a huge business together.

For years and years and years. I mean, Paul and Lucia said this when they were on. They were like, we just had to teach ourselves. No one was really like handing over the keys or anything or telling us what to do like you guys were like the most like self-starting sort of unit it felt like and like at least in like our little world where it was just like oh well look at what they're

doing like let like let's let this be a model like and we told them, all these great new shows, we were saying, the Pen15s and the other two-hander comedies, sitcoms of the world that are popping up now that are so good, it's like, I think like... It's a huge... It couldn't

have really happened. I'm not saying that they wouldn't exist, but I'm saying like, But everything matters when it hasn't been done before. All those little steps, that all matters. It was shown to be viable

through Broad City. So, so viable that it was just like, well, great. Like, that's, this works. We know this works now. Like, if there were a chapter

of a textbook that is like, shows like this, like, your show would be like a huge part of that. And that's something I'd be so proud of. And what I'm really, what I really love about it is how it kept its integrity the whole time and it kept the soul of who who you guys were and who what the even the web series was and what the show was kept you kept that the whole time and that's that had to be oh my god

hard especially when you become the new fucking cool show and like people are talking about it and you know it's it's hard to keep seeing it the way you see it yeah i imagine abby's so smart she is just so smart and the way she and she's such she really like taught me how to be an artist she went to art school and i was like, what is that? Like, I'm such a like, you know, I I'm just such a I don't know, like sort of more low mindset. You know what I mean? Like, I'm I'm I have that accessible quality because I'm like fucking dumb, too. You know what I mean? Like, no, I see you.

I truly see you because you are. I tell you all the time and Abby is so elevated and like you know like she's just so smart and elevated and she's really good

at that integrity thing and shaping that because I'm so open and and like giving you know and she's has like

stronger boundaries you know I don's no she's just so smart i hear what you're saying and paul and lucia what's funny is that like as you know your creative partner like becomes your husband wife i was the husband in i'm the husband with abby and she's the wife and and i'm like oh jesus i gotta like please my wife oh god you know what i mean it's like i that's my like like that's my like butch little like fucking. And I'm like, oh, Jesus, I got to, like, please, my wife. Oh, God, is she going to be pissed at me? You know what I mean? It's like, that's my, like, butch little, like, fucking mask. Like, I'm like, how can I, oh, can I do something for you, sweetie? You know what I mean? Whatever.

Wow. And Paul and Lucia were, I can't gender it, but they were the partner. Yes. They were the unit partner to our unit partner. Wow. You know? And, like, the fact that they're romantically together also was a helpful, it's just helpful because it's like, at least we're not fucking slash, I wish we could just fuck to release

attention. You know what I mean? So there was just like a helpful, it was so magical. It's an experience with one other person that you can, that no one understands but you. Do you guys trip on shrooms and acid? We tripped once on acid. Together? I've done it three times.

I enjoy it. I've done like some trips on shrooms. Probably like 10 or under. Great. But I like really am overdue for one. The last one was in LA and it was like not cool. Not in the place. That ain't the city for it.

No, it ain't. No. And my, my, another one of my best friends, the one at the end of NYU where I was like, oh my gosh,

you can still make friends at college. My best friend lives in San Francisco. He met me in LA. We take shrooms on a lift up to a like a hike. Yeah. Huge. As a lift, as we're getting to the hike,

we're losing service. And we're like, how are we going to get back? Oh my God. And it was just obviously, it was a horrible trip. An ICM entertainment lawyer ended up giving us a ride home. Where was this? In San Francisco? No, in LA.

In LA. And it's like, I can't be tripping in LA. I'm a New York girl and I can't be tripping there LA. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm a New York girl and I can't be tripping there. Or if I am, I know who has to do it. Yeah. Who has to guide me. I have like a, and I should.

Yes. So really, an ICM entertainment lawyer had to give us a ride home and I had to tell him we're tripping. He was like, wow, shitty. I've heard, you know what I mean? And I've heard of it and it's like, bitch, you should fucking, you should know every fucking episode, bitch. It's your job.

And also I take on too much responsibility in general and take on too many other people's experiences. Yes, yes, yes. I'm empathetic to a fault. Oh my God, literally. And I'm like going through a thing and I'm like recognizing. And so I took the front seat

and Inti took the back seat and it was not cool. And like I was forced into a hug that I didn't want to give and I had a terrible trip and that was January 2018 so I'm like overdue for like a really good

but really strong mind losing trip me too to break open and then like come back together because also all the pieces are scattered

scattered for me I need my I need for my brain to be an egg again like to be broken open yeah because I did shrooms last week at a party.

Oh, my gosh. But it just felt like, oh, I'm just having a good time. I wasn't thinking about anything. No, I need to do it ritualistically. I've had so much loss this year. And like, I don't, well, kind of like the same thing with the handbook you were talking about, that home that you were talking about at the Broad City. I'm like finding that about, I'm feeling that about about adulthood right now like this new adulthood that the world is

different nobody can tell us nobody knows how it is to be uh 28 29 32 in 2019 it doesn't yeah you know what i mean and like uh you're so right i thought about that a lot i'm like what am i what's the model here like what's the mental what's plan? And we're like writing it for the future and then they rewrite it when it happens but I honestly think that psychedelic journeys are a part of it.

I think so too because my trip came last year at the, my first acid trip came at the exact right time. I truly, I had a breakthrough. I called you the next day

and I was like, hey, all the shit that we've been going through the last however many months, gone, done. It was a switch. It was a switch that flipped in my brain and then the last however many months gone done it was a switch it was a switch that flipped in my brain and then i did it again in october and it was fine

but i it's been like a year now and like i've the pieces feel scattered for me honestly right now i'm just like what am i have you been taking stock or are they just are you just like fuck scattered it's been fuck scattered the last four days have been me taking stock and it's felt so much better already but i'm still like there, there's still, I will like, this will slip through my fingers again, especially like once fucking work starts and stuff. I'm just like, I need to come back. I need to be re-centered.

I'm about, I'm about to experience a huge monumental loss. And I know that's like, that's like a lot to like put on this on you right now. But I'm just like, well, whatever. And it's just,

I need to, I need to like be set right in some way. Not that, not to put this narrative, not to put this thing on drug use to be like, it'll fix me. No, and it's not drug use.

This is actual like human experience. I would agree. This is part of the human experience, like pre patriarchy. Yeah. Great. I think that we just, as like,

and this is the thing is like, as culture we need to just like and i think that this is happening with like our generation and the generations that are incoming it's like we just need to shift our focus away from these being these like dangerous or like to me they've been so helpful like i the first time i took acid i it was like um, it was the most emotional day of my life. And it was just like, and you know what? Since then, it has reconnected me with my emotions in a way where I'm just like so much happier now that I can say I'm an emotional person. I have access to my emotions in a way that like i didn't realize how trained i was to ignore them and to be kind of like a machine and stuff and now i can really say like my emotions are a

strength of mine and it really just made me realize so much about myself i i reconnected with the fact that i'm a very physical person you know like hello athletic scholarship i mean what other comedian do you know who was uh even negotiating an athletic can you believe no but that was but but not to be real though that was like a part of me like i remember like we we were upstate when we did it and i remember i i just ran and i was like wow it feels good to run and feel the air in my lungs. This was something that I forgot. And so it was incredibly helpful for me. Like I don't, and, and, you know, I also think it's about, it's a lot about atmosphere and it's a lot about where you are in your life because it's like, I will, that's only going

to be something that I do if I feel like I'm in the right zone and I feel like I need it for something that I can't figure out on my own because it has truly unlocked things for me that I was like, that's what it was. And it was right here the whole time, but I just needed to clear my head a little bit. And so that's like, um,

that's been where I'm at with it. What does weed do for you now? Or is it just a part of your life or does it still kind of, does it chill you out? Like, um, I always like, um,

I always say something I would say i always like um i always say something i always say is no something i always say i'm gonna be cracking myself up repeating your fucking joke but um i i it always cracks me up how i smoke weed and i'm like oh fuck i'm high and then i'm like wait i've heard you say this before and then i'm like oh yeah and then there's that period of intense paranoia and fear and then i'm like oh yeah yeah yeah yeah and then there's that period of intense fear and then you're fine yeah it's like it's i think it's like still remains this like funny little friend this like silly little bitch who like makes me nervous makes me confront shit and then she chills with me as we giggle about like mental illness yeah so did you start did you get

really into it like because culturally like people around you were really into it. I had a really kind first boyfriend in high school who, um, was the person that I learned about my phallic symbols, penis and blunts. And it was like the first time I was doing anything. I was a very, like very nervous kid and didn't,

and it was like a late bloomer in like that way, in that way sexually. And she confused. And then also we, I mean, we smoked like Zach Brittman. He was a great fucking boyfriend. Such,

such a good boy. And he smoked so much. It was like dangerous for sure. Dangerous for others as we drove blazed out of our minds. And children. I mean, children driving as though, you know,

I, 25 is in your brain stops growing and changing. But before then I'm like, you're actually like mushroom tripping all the time. Right. It's so like, so, so I can't,

I wish I could get higher and that's why I need to be doing psychedelics more regularly. Yeah. But weed is my like, friend and a big part of my marriage.

Really? I love that. Huge. So it's like, I love her. It's been so interesting watching my parents kind of accept the fact

that I smoke weed. Like my parents listen to the podcast sometimes and we did talk about taking LSD and my mom called me and she was like, I don't think you need to be doing that shit. And I was like, this is a difference of opinion.

Actually, I'm able to be an adult and make my own decisions about this. I don't think anyone needs to do it. Do whatever the fuck you want. I just don't think we need to villainize it. But it's been so interesting watching them accept the fact that it is something marijuana that helps me and that

I'm functional with and in fact more creative and productive sometimes when I do it and I just think it's like it's that generational thing right it's that like sort of suburban Long Island thing where it's like or whatever wherever you're from where it's just been fed to the generation above us that this is something to fear

and it's also so baby boomer culture and so get ready, dominator culture versus partnership culture. Dominator culture encompasses rape culture, slave culture, race, you know, systematic, whatever. It is so dominator culture also to be like, I feel this way, thus I dictate your experience. I don't like, I don't want to get an abortion

so you can't have one. I don't want to do LSD so you shouldn't. It's like, I mean, I guess it's scary if it's your kid, but it's like, ask questions. Don't talk at me. Ask me what it's like. Exactly. And it's just kind of like a, it's just a misunderstanding.

It's a generational sort of just gap where it's like, and it's interesting to be in the place where it's like, well, where we are. People were tripping their balls off from government, like doctors were tripping their balls off from government acid starting in the place where it's like well we are tripping their balls right right government like doctors were tripping their balls off from government acid starting in the 60s like it's not i'm like you guys should have been the pioneers it's also parents i think it's a little bit of like my mother was like a bartender in new york city in the 80s so it's like i don't

she probably has seen fucking she probably has like seen shit that she's like like sometimes i'll be doing or like in a situation experience where i'm like if i ever have children and i find out they're doing this i'm gonna flip out yeah i'm gonna kill them yeah i'm gonna literally end their life because this is so irresponsible for me to be doing and so like i wasn't spanked enough as a kid i need to like give my kids some like um whatever some issue to like work out sexually in their teens and I wasn't spent enough

truly I need to fuck my kids I always wonder that I'm like how am I gonna fuck my child up oh my god like what mistake am I gonna

if I even have a kid now it's insane to think of that I think there probably is a right way to just punitively like bear down on your children

enough for them to still be well adjusted I like like I like sort of pointing into a kid's chest and poking as sharply and deep like almost until it bruises children enough for them to still be well adjusted. I like sort of pointing into a kid's chest and poking as sharply and deep like almost until it bruises.

And then just like letting that be. I used to babysit a lot and I'm really like a strict babysitter. But I do poke the kids until they bruise. Okay, so this is insane, but we do have to do I Don't Think So, Honey. I could fucking sit here for literally hours and talk. You have to come back. I i would love to come back i would love to be a

reunion episode you have to oh my god the thing is like you say things like reunion you say things like like this is gonna be a monumental change it's not i'm gonna be back all the time i'm like literally keeping my apartment here people have been messaging me being like what's gonna happen to the pod you guys nothing nothing it's Nothing. It's going to stay the same. Nothing. Okay. Okay. Just thought I would say that.

But let's do I Don't Think So, Honey. This is our one minute to rail against something in pop culture that, let me tell you something, needs to be railed against. Come on. We need to dress it down as something we hate in pop culture or life, and I do have something that's been really bothering me. Okay. All right.

This is Matt Rogers' I Don't Think So, Honey. His time starts now. I Don't Think So, Honey. It's like confirmed that aliens are real. No. I will not have this. It's like there's enough horrors in the world. You don't need to confirm my literal number one childhood fear with this Area 51 garbage.

I don't think so, honey. Every article I see that are like, guess what? Yes, UFOs are in the sky. Yes, we can confirm it. Also, I don't think so think so honey that if this is true i guess we're like breezing over it talk about other things this feels like an existential threat a la climate change let's discuss it so i don't think so honey aliens in the sky get truly away from me if you're advanced enough to like be in the sky around us that means you probably have

a fine planet go there or find something else if you are more advanced like this is not the zone also i don't think so honey that you want to be here 15 seconds you do not want to come to earth right now truly like there's probably so many other things that you can be doing than coming to earth because earth i don't think so honey right now you are truly on fire you have bad leaders worldwide get somewhere else aliens i don't think so honey and also you probably look just as gross as you do in media popular media and that's one minute yeah aliens um we're in the middle of something right now get away come back later but what about help i just i do you think that aliens

have benevolently come here honestly i'm like what if they're like and they just send a ring of energy that heals okay so you believe rather than like coming down and like fucking us you know what I mean like whatever

I guess like that's the thing and also I'm like honestly I'm like if we needed to be fucked in all three holes or whatever to learn I'm just like

if they could help if they could help but obviously I don't want them to come here and like ruin everything but we're not the theorists

I don't know the theorists say that there's like, but we're not. The theorists. I don't know. The theorists say that there's like, there's like category one, two, three, four. I think that they're called categories, but like for an alien to be advanced, for an alien civilization to be advanced enough to come to earth, that would mean that they are advanced enough

to like harness like the energy of stars and they would probably want to like. Rough and tough. They would probably want to like destroy us so they could harness the energy of our sun to power their galaxy. So you're saying they would only come here to kill us. Oh, wow. There's a very slim, slim chance that they would come here to be like, hey, what's up?

Well, because think about human nature. We have historically only gone places to take them over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know, but I'm like, that's like, I'm sorry, like white male Viking nature. Right, right, right, right.

Is that every nature? Is that the patriarchy? It might not be every nature. That's an interesting point. Because I'm like, I try to distinguish humanity from the patriarchy. Thank you.

Thank you. You're so welcome because I need it. We're not discussing humanity though we are in fact discussing something very other

and so I think the rules may not apply we could be dealing with an arrival situation where they come and the way they

think and talk is like non-linear and then we have to figure that shit out fucking get Amy Adams on the line bitch because it can't be me

what did the aliens in arrival want again they just wanted to like they wanted a gene or something they wanted to they wanted something they want they needed something and then they they had to leave yeah it was i forget exactly what happened all i know is i was weeping at the end of arrival i fucking love i think i was stoned when i saw right i don't know if i was stoned i think i

went stone cold sober and like just i was high on like Amy's performance. Yeah. Wow. It's actually real culture number 14. I was high on Amy's performance. Now that's my thing. I don't like aliens. I don't like it. It's not going to be a thing I get over either like my fear of flying. It's it's I don't like them because you can't predict them. You can't. That's

true. It's not humanity. It's not humanity. I appreciate that. It's actually real culture number 88. Aliens? It's not humanity. It's not humanity. I appreciate that. It's actually rule of culture number 88. Aliens? It's not humanity. Thank you. This is going to be Bowen Yang's I Don't Think So Honey. We need his face ID so that I can unlock what is his phone.

Okay. So this is Bowen Yang's I Don't Think So Honey, and he will start right now. I Don't Think So Honey jewelry. I think I looked at my rings and said jewelry. No, here's the thing, jewelry. You cost too much and I lose you all the damn time. And

speaking of jewelry, my jewel, I lose my jewel all the damn time, you guys. I'm really just grasping at straws right now, but I think my jewel, actually no, this is the bad thing about jewel my i i had a friend her name is nora lum aquafina says bowen you should you shouldn't jewel because um you're gonna wake up and uh you're gonna get dry mouth and um if you're if you're quitting cigarettes then the jewel is going to actually coat your esophagus or your trachea with worse shit.

And then she said that, and then she took a pull from her what? Jewel. She's jeweling, but she can't break out of the cycle. Nora, I'm sorry I'm putting you on blast, but you're getting me word, but you can't tell me. That's one minute. Don't berate me. I got to berate you back. Okay, so that became an I don't think so honey about Nora Lum, aka Awkwafina, which I hope you're okay with.

I'm okay with. She's her colleague. She and I are going through the same struggle. I'm trying to break from the chain of Jewel and just let her know when I'm on the other side, hey, it's possible. Come with, come's possible come with come with come with okay I'm gonna add to that that my husband David my man partner David I also want him

to stop fucking dueling yeah but we are a partnership culture couple and I don't want to tell him what to do with his body you don't you're not a dominator

culture couple no and his partner Hao Tian that he does signs with yes yes David they went to China

to like whatever talk to like freaking like people with Chinese people with money for science stuff and

David couldn't bring weed and he was like very nervous and he like picked up the freaking jewel and he's like telling me that he like needs it at this time

and it's I'm like dude I'm gonna smack you he's about to go and he's nervous about not being able to smoke weed and he went that's what happened and I'm like, dude, I'm gonna smack you up. He's about to go and he's nervous about not being able to smoke weed and he went.

That's what happened. God. And I'm like, how do you end David? Stop dueling. The kids like died. They're having mysterious lung illnesses. I'm literally like,

go back to cigarettes. It looks cooler. Yeah, you're right. It does look cooler. And then you get like a cold and you get sick and you're like,

oh God, I shouldn't. You know what I mean? It's now, all my friends that do it i'm actually nervous about weed vapes i'm kind of just going back to flower i'm like wow fuck the shit like i love to smoke like flower i like to smoke a bowl i i the guy that i'm dating now he he smokes joints all the time that's my shit and the vapes i'll say this i like that i can have it on the go

and it's like more inconspicuous they're faster acting but and they're faster acting I feel high immediately well for me I don't know but I it's weirder on my throat

it's I feel my like lungs having a more difficult time yeah and also like this is a little bit weird but like when I smoke a vape like

difficult for me to get horny on that whoa oh interesting it's weird it's like it's it's it's been something

I've observed. That's so cool to me that that is clear enough for you. I love that. I love male sexuality. It is clear for me in this moment. It might not be true

ultimately. Matt's narratives are so clear. That's really, yeah, that's really interesting. Here in my body. Okay, it's time. Okay, Alana Glazer.

Okay, I have like a really dark one. Talk about bleak but true. Please. What is my comedy? Get ready. That's your narrative. This is Alana Glazer's I have like a really dark one talk about bleak but true please what is my comedy get ready that's your narrative this is Alana Glazer's

I don't think so honey your time starts now okay I don't think so honey Jeffrey Epstein you think you can die out of all these accusations bitch you raped kids

and you you had the Lolita jet I'm like where does billions come from I can't even like read that shit because I'm like I already fucking know

and your the way you made money was by sex trafficking children to the richest men in the world. You can't die out of this because you know what? We have a sexual predator, a proud sexual predator in office

and that's why the rise of Me Too, that's why the takedown of Harvey Weinstein, that's why this shit is like popping off, you know, now. 30 seconds, yes.

And I like always say, LOL, that like we're popping a pimple right now because I can't think that this is the end I actually think it's the beginning yeah I agree

and I like need optimism or else I get morbidly depressed and I'm like actually Jeffrey Epstein's death his body doesn't matter the energy that he like put on this planet

will not be forgotten we're gonna learn from it you can't die out of this shit no and like your brother's like he's not gonna keep his money Trump's gonna be told Clinton's gonna be told everybody like rode the jet it brother's like, he's not going to keep his money. Trump's going to be told.

Clinton's going to be told. Everybody like rode the jet. It's not a coincidence. It's not something you didn't realize. You knew it was fucking creepy. You can't die out of this. And that's one minute. Yes.

Fuck him, man. Put Bill Clinton in jail, honestly, at this point. 100%. I'm like, fuck you. Eat my ass, dude. Go to jail. It's gotta end. Go, go, go, go.

It's gotta end. Because guess what? If he's going to be like a sea change for everyone, like he is pictured on that fucking plane with underage girls i'm sorry prince andrew i'm like she's like come out about it dude i'm like actually just you say it i don't care about uh or whatever i'm like i actually don't care about prince andrew's like whatever he has to say you just tell me everything because like just just say everything trump is it's unbelievable how unbelievable much

footage we have there is no doubt can i say this no doubt he fucked all those kids you know what i mean like they fucked kids and i'm like a 16 year old's a kid yeah that's a child and you know what this is what i love too the um the new american crime story that's going to be about the lewinsky scandal um yeah You know what I think is fucking genius is casting Beanie in that part because now people will understand

that Monica Lewinsky was young. She was young and she was preyed upon and people were like, Beanie is Monica? Wow, she's so young. It makes perfect sense.

Yeah, it's because Monica was young and taken advantage of and this entire country and the world laughed and they made it about her and hillary and the fact that he you know he never answered for that really and the fact that there's

even more women yeah goddamn right we're gonna watch beanie portray monica lewinsky because she was young too young and i and like i'm just like lolita jet like that's what they called it i'm just like stop haunting me jeffrey epstein go fuck yourself and you know what like david was saying i i was like we were like talking about it and he was like you know what it's less trash on the earth yeah and like we don't need his fucking body to like uncover what this means systematically so don't think that you can like get out of it no and also people are like he was murdered allegedly suicide i'm like i whatever it was i believe that he would happily kill himself

to escape, protect the patriarchy. That was his number one. That was like purely like him, like not wanting to answer for anything and not, and like wanting to take

this knowledge that he has up here with him. I, I, yes. And, oh my gosh, our improv background.

Yes. And I think he was, he would happily like slit his throat to suck the dick of the patriarchy. He thinks he's like a noble warrior. Yes. That's kind of what I think.

Oh my God. Where he's like, it was our, I think he thinks it was his right to do that and that he's like, I will protect these men. And I'm like, no, you won't because those women have grown up and we're about to like get your ass. Wow. Fuck yes. Guys, I am so bleak and shit. No. Because those women have grown up and we're about to like get your ass. Wow.

Fuck yes. Guys, I am so bleak and shit. No. It's not bleak. You know what? It's confronting the reality of the world and saying actually no. And that is like.

I'm like, I don't know what comedy is anymore. Everything's upside down. So comedy is like dark and like sad and shit. It's just so funny whenever people pretend like. It's good for comedy. Or just like, whenever comedians speak out in a real way, it's like,

aren't you supposed to be a fucking comedian? It's like, no, actually I'm someone, I'm a person who uses my voice. And if you're laughing, that's cool. And that,

and maybe if you, if, if you're laughing enough to listen now, like good. And I'm also like, then those people are not on the edge of culture because comedy is like becoming something else. Right.

Exactly. And it's like are you Jeff Foxworthy? Fine if you're Jeff Foxworthy. But like I'm a comedian so that's why I'm using my human voice because that's what it is now. It's like cohesion. I am thrilled about this episode of Podcast Glory. You could come back whatever you want I would love to

yeah yeah yeah thank you so much I'm hugging myself right now because I want to suck your guys' you can your soul came

and you want to suck after literally consent so the special comes out in January in January on Amazon Prime Video fucking yes

but we're gonna we're gonna get this episode out out out you line it up for me So that it'll like Really tease up the Tease up the special

Okay Yeah Four months in advance Yeah Wow So this is incredible Incredible Incredible

Blah blah And we're gonna Finish every We finished every episode With a song Here we go Which one Lizzo

I do my hair all tall. Check my nails. Baby, how you feeling? Feeling good as hell. Forever Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram, at Forever Dog Team, and liking our page on Facebook. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski.

And we are super excited to tell you about our new show. Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind scene stories. Crazy details. And honestly just having a blast talking football. Every week we're discussing our favorite players of all times, from legends to our buddies to current stars. We're finally answering the age-old question,

what kind of dudes are these dudes? We're going to find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida.

And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home, and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Cuba. Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you I'm Cheryl Swoops. And I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day.

Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women. And T and I have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby, an iHeartWomen sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your

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