Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - "Thriller Chiller" (w/ Naomi Ekperigin)

Episode Date: March 2, 2022

She's back, readers! One of the best in the biz, Naomi Ekperigin! She might be featured on this season of Netflix's The Standups, but baby she is sitting DOWN to talk with the hosts of Las Cultch about a great many things! Including!... star quality in political candidates, getting comfortable calling yourself a comedian, performing for the first time in a while post-pandemic, The Gilded Age, parental input on comedy, Abbot Elementary, Charlie Puth being hot, Calvin Klein ads as heterosexual weapons of war to slow gay people down, the ups and downs of Apple CarPlay culture, and final thoughts on Steve Brady from this season of And Just Like That. Are you a good sharer? Would you ever "get anything done"? Just some talking points we'll be expecting essays on! Love you all!! Naomi's I Don't Think So Honey is for the ages!!! Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City are back. I love that. I love that. Oh my gosh. Welcome. And last season's drama was just the tip of the iceberg. You're recording us? I am disgusted.

Never in a million years after everything we've been through did I think that you would reach out to our sworn enemy. We were friends. How could you do this to me? I don't trust her. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Wednesdays at 9 on Bravo or stream it on City TV Plus. I'm Sheryl Swoops. And I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the

real obstacles women face day to day. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women. And T and I have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby, an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home

and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. I was a desperate delusional dreamer. Be a delusional dreamer.

Just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. Look, man. Oh, I see. Wow. Oh, look over there. Is that culture? Yes. Las Culturistas. Ding dong, Las Culturistas calling. Here we are, even. I am having such a good time. I mean, we're here in LA together. I want to just really savor this concept of us being in the studio together because for so long, this has not been the reality of this podcast.

In fact, people have written things up about how, oh my God, Las Culturistas made it work being, you know, bi-coastal and such. And I don't want to be celebrated for that because I don't prefer that. I actually don't prefer it. And I think that

all of our episodes that we've done in COVID are null and void. Null and void. Not canon. I don't think of them. Are we taking them off the count?

Little girl. Little girl. Little girl. Are we taking them off the count? They'll be taking girl. Little girl. Are we taking them off the count? They'll be taking off. They'll be taking off the, they don't count as episodes and we're starting over.

Oh my God. No, just kidding. In fact, we are barreling towards our 300th episode, which we have announced. I feel great. Is the Great Global Songbook. Las Culturistas presents. The Great Global Songbook.

The 300 songs of the Great Global Songbook. That is our 300th episode. We are soaring towards it. And really, we're taking your suggestions. We're taking your suggestions. I will just say that you and I have not been, we have not discussed this yet. Because normally we have,

I think before Top 200 Moments, we really, it was just a Google Doc, basically. I don't want to reveal too much about the process. Well, I don't want to reveal too much about the process well i don't want to reveal too much about the process because then it just takes away from the enjoyment of the experiencer because the thing is they don't want to see the work you know what i mean when meryl streeps does adaptation when meryl streeps does adaptation you don't want to know that she how she how she got there you just want to see be what's her face um susan orlean exactly smoking weed smoking weed and getting high of course adaptation meryl's Or C, be what's-her-face Susan Orlean. Exactly. Smoking weed. Smoking weed. And getting high.

Of course, adaptation, Meryl's greatest performance. One of them. So I don't want to say too much about the Google Doc of it all, but suffice it to say there was one for the top 200, and will there be one for the great global songbook? Watch this space. Watch this space. Can I say?

I don't think it's going to be a Google Doc. I think it's going to be a Google Sheet. Oh my fucking God. Because I want some fucking filters on that bitch that'll be good for me tables yeah pivot and such i i don't know how to use google sheet so i think that this would be a huge opportunity for me because then once i learn google sheet the sky's the limit i am so interested in computers and how they work did you know that I used to be a person who believed that my computer didn't make PDFs there was a time in our lives

when Matt Rodgers said I have a virus on my Mac book that doesn't let me create PDFs I used to send things to Sudi and she'd make them into PDFdfs and print them out for me because i was convinced that my computer did not make pdfs oh my god and you and you were convinced that the the source of the virus was porn for sure it was gonna be something i watched

so much porn but porn that was always limited to the browser it wasn't you were downloading things never so then how would the virus make its way i think viruses could be really sneaky about you're right especially now in the age of omicron you know this this omicron virus can just sneak in the cracks you know doesn't matter if you're vaccinated or not doesn't matter I I wanna what just really rejoice in the fact that our guest is with us today

the third appearance on the show third appearance on the show they get a jacket just kidding no we don't have one we don't have that kind of money

I mean we this was even before her half hour on the stand ups on Netflix which is exemplary

but we one of my favorites and and we us faggots have been out here saying me you josh sharp aaron jackson have all been saying our favorite stand-up comedian my beloved period my beloved friend and guest on this podcast jared frieder the director and writer of three months out now on Paramount Plus. Out now on Paramount Plus. There was a moment where I was, during early days of COVID, when I was on the Zoom on the podcast Couples Therapy with Naomi and Andy. Fantastic podcast. Fantastic podcast. And I had Jared come into the room to bring me something because I knew that when he looked on the screen and saw Naomi, I knew what would happen.

His jaw would drop and he would say you're my favorite comedian and that's what happened that's what happened and he said this in front of me in front of joel kim in front of all sorts of comedians he says no naomi is my favorite comedian and he does an impression of her responsibly he says that he says that's not for you to say. He says white women. He loves that. That's classic me. And he says, what was it? My Melanies,

my Angelas, or whatever it is. Don't go running alone in the streets, or whatever it is. Whatever it is. That joke isn't in the special. Please check out the special.

Check her out on Mythic Quest as Carol. And this is someone who writes and acts flawlessly. And does stand up. No, this is like the Triple Crown. Renaissance woman. But this is this is someone who writes and acts flawlessly and does stand up no this is like this is like the triple crown renaissance woman but this is the comedy this is the comedy like this is what we wish we could do when you can write act and stand up i'm no i'm you're you're saying this in like a jokey way like don't ever project anything onto me i I think it's truly like no one can do that. There's no one that can do that.

No, I'm thinking. I'm saying it's so hard to do all three. That's all I'm saying. And the people who supposedly do well end up being fucking crooks. They're crooks or criminals. Sometimes I see these people.

Listen to me. Look at me in the eyes. I see these stand-ups who have written movies and they write, they've written a movie and they act in it. And I'm like, you're a fucking criminal. You're a crook. You've stolen this opportunity from someone else. Not our guest. Not our guest.

Oh, there's wealth to be shared with our guest. I'm so excited she's here. Welcome into your ears.omi at bergen wow that was an introduction for my dream journal but you always get one we bring it to you every ball as they say bring it to you every ball yes that is absolutely true i will point out that you are also both triple crowns you were like no who does stand up right and half? We're not triple crowns.

We're not triple crowns. No, she's right. I've seen you both do stand up. Also, can we also say four, actually? Vocalistas. Come on, now. Culturistas and vocalistas. They only open for me on my Christmas show. Oh, my God. Wait, the one here or the one in San Francisco? Oh, my God.

In Hollywood. Yeah. How was that show? Packed. So fun. Yeah yeah you had a fun time and then omicron shut the hell down no and then you're like uh dc bye yeah i was like i can't be going anywhere else yeah but i i don't know like i was just like so happy to provide my audience with naomi like i was just like and i could tell they were lit up she was doing a service you weren't providing them anything i was just saying i had a show and so she was on it and so therefore i was like helping to provide the sustenance you were a purveyor i was your purveyor of that good of that good of that good good yeah okay um how are you feeling i am you know what henny yeah i'll be real i say i'm doing my best yeah no matter what it is

any given day i'm giving you the best that I got, Anita Baker style, honey. I can't do any more. I can't do any more than what I'm doing. The best, Naomi's best is very good. You have to be so thrilled with the response to your special. I mean, everyone was just over the moon about it. And everyone already obviously knew. I mean, if they didn't know, that's insane.

But I also feel like in the last couple of years, it has been a little bit of a moment. Don't you feel? No! And isn't that so funny? Like, when you're like, oh, again, you know how this stuff works. I think it was funny when the half hour came out. I was like, okay, Hollywood, when are you calling? Yeah.

Hollywood, like, I'm waiting for the phone to ring. This most recent one? Yes. This one. And I was like, Hollywood's not calling. Well, maybe they lost my number. Then at one point, I thought it was Hollywood calling and it was just CVS. And it was just, like like really hard, you know?

But I am so happy that it's out in the world. Yeah. And that feeling of, you know, when you're out here just feeling like, especially in a pandemic. You know what I'm saying? Like when we're in the house for so long. Because what I'm happy about with that is that I put that together in two months. I have to not be in the streets for 15 months. Yeah, when did you guys tape that?

August 5th. Wow. And I got the invite May 25th. So I had June, July to hit the streets, put it together, try to memorize it, and then put it out there and be like, I hope they like. So I was so happy.

Yes. I'm sorry to cut you off. No. So seamless. You couldn't even tell where they were cutting in and out of if they were at all. It just felt like, that was just, so seamless. You couldn't even tell like where they were cutting in and out of if they were at all. It just felt like, that was just,

was that one show? Yeah. Yeah. I think maybe one joke from the second show, but yeah, it was all. There you go.

I mean, like it was just so perfect. Anyway, sorry. No, thank you. I mean, I mean,

I'll always take the accolades. Obviously interrupt me to give me accolades. A receiver over here. So wait, you do it twice, but they felt that one was. I felt,

I said, I literally said afterwards, I was like, you better use that 7 o'clock show. Because the audience was perfection. Yeah. And then the second show, it was like, and it's funny because the second shows were where all the people I knew were coming. Oh, interesting. So I expected that one to be a little, you know, all this late show energy.

Yeah, yeah. And when I tell you, they were tepid. You never know. The science, there is no science to it. There really isn't. It was funny because having performed a bunch in December, and after, like you said, not for such a long time, the audiences are definitely there.

But not every audience is like, we're so excited to be out of the pandemic! It's like there are still those audiences where as a group you're like okay y'all are a B plus you know what I mean a B plus is great we love a B plus because it keeps you hungry

it keeps you humble keeps you humble and hungry I don't think Hollywood calls anymore they text they text but then also you have to knock on their door. Do you know what I mean? You have to door knock.

Right. You have to speak for your candidate, which is yourself. Right. Oh my God. And I am running for local 452 as a city council person. Oh my God. We need you. We need you.

The city needs you. I would make calls for you. Thank you so much. Oh, are you kidding me? I would make calls. I would canvass the hell out of any neighborhood. Hi you heard about naomi acparagon yeah hi i'm calling on behalf of naomi acparagon okay well um have you seen broad city yeah she wrote on that you would be a good politician yes you really would sometimes i do think of it i do but i don't you know they're

all crooks you know and so i was like do i really want to be involved in? But I would kind of like to be because I would like to be like fun politician. That's what I mean. It's like the thing about politicians, I feel like so many of them are so fucking boring. Like, I honestly think that we could win more seats if we just put some stars up there. Thank you. And I don't mean actors turn this. I just mean people with star quality. Yes, personality.

Dazzle, dazzle. AOC has star quality. Yes, personality, dazzle, dazzle. AOC has star quality, and I think that's why everyone was like, who the fuck is that? And then, of course, her policies are amazing, and everything's great, but there is that intangible that it really doesn't

matter. And you see it with the presidential race. It's like, you know, very few of them have star quality. Bernie had it. Joe kind of had it very few of them have star quality. Right. Right. Bernie had it. Joe kind of had it. Joe doesn't have star quality. Joe does not have star quality. But for some people, some people were like, oh, that Joe Biden.

But you know what? That was not star. That was comfort. And that was comfort that came from Stockholm Syndrome. Oh, my God. 100%. Someone who is not known true love and said, well, that reminds me of daddy. Yeah.

Even though daddy wasn't good to me. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. It was like daddy on his deathbed said, they'll take care of you. Right. And you believe daddy. Right. Oh, my God.

But you're still dying. Oh, daddy's dying? Daddy died. Daddy died. Obama's gone. Daddy died. I thought daddy was this country. No, daddy.

In this analogy Daddy is Obama And he's He'll take care of you You say goodbye daddy And then you turn to him And it's Joe But can you imagine

Like I have to pivot To Bowen Can you imagine As a POC Actually being out in this world Repping a Caucasian No

To literally be like I have a white friend And you should listen to him I won't do it I won't do it. I won't do it in a million years. Well, he didn't want to do it. He wanted it to be Kamala, but then she kept kind of flopping.

So I feel like I should just be clear and say that I did not mean to simp for Mr. Biden. And that I just wanted to bring up examples outside of the AOC sort of tapestry. Do we reveal? We can reveal if we want, yes.

Are you ready for this? Yes. We received a text from our manager saying, LOL, would you ever have Miss Jen Psaki on the podcast? What? And I think- And it was an immediate, I was hiking in Griffith last week,

and I was like, hmm, no. I was like, I don't think we can. No. I was like, I just don't think it'll be fun. But beyond that, it's just, we can't endorse. I mean, it's not that we don't support. It's just that we can't endorse.

Also, like, what happened? Do you think her people reached out to your people? So I think our manager, maybe we, whatever. No, I don't think we should cut it out. This is real life. This is what we experienced. Our managers were on a call with the White House press team, social media team, some such. This is all too bad.

We better have Jen Psaki on. Right. I guess they were talking to a lot of like industry folks about like things that, you know, the administration. It's fun and edgy. You know what would be fun and edgy? Erasing student debt. Continue.

What did Jen say she was going to do? I don't think so, honey. Reporter. Stop getting off of my grill. I don't think so. He's sending every house in America COVID tests. What? How would we do that?

F95s for all? Absolutely not. LOL. I don't think so, honey. My guy who does my hair, why'd you give me this Mrs. Sloan haircut? I'm looking like Tristan up in here. Oh my God. See, maybe it would be fun.

If we gave her a script. Maybe we could turn it around for Jen Psaki. Not that I think it's, is it? I don't know. Do people not like Jen Psaki? I feel like after that margarita line, do you know what I'm talking about? This was after

I think it was after Build Back Better died or something. It's final death. Or something like that. And then Jen was on some talk show. It might have been The View. It might've been some other daytime thing where she was like, I understand that we're all feeling frustrated,

but I think we all just got to take the weekend, take a kickboxing class, have a margarita with your girls and come back because we have a fight to fight. And just like that. And just like that. Oh my God. See, that is a,

you know what I think of that? That is aggressively basic. Yeah. That's an attack of basicness is a you know what i think of that that is aggressively basic yeah that's um an attack of basicness but you know but it's this thing where like outside of the twitter sphere does is that speaking to a segment of the population that like we we just don't have it like we're we're completely out of touch with like a group of a huge swath of the people who do hear that and go uh go off girl absolutely not especially the kickboxing class part sure because you can sub in with beverage of your choice for the second half yeah and whoever you like she's like what's relatable

kickboxing no $14 chai no huh literally yeah it's just like press a juice and read um why men love bitches whatever i mean but the fact is i mean we have actually people people like um they they tweet in and they say we want naomi back that is a true honor you know i love you're the funniest woman in america well i was gonna reach out to you guys. I feel like I, maybe I did too before it was coming out and I was like, Hey,

can I come to the pod? That is like the hardest thing for me to do. So reach out to people and like, ask them if I can like do their thing. Even though I feel like at this point, I'm at least, I don't know y'all at least eight years. You know what I mean?

At least I feel like I've known y'all out in these streets and I'm like, um, hi, I know you're building an empire. And I was just wondering if you remember that one time we were in a green room. I think it was the old Littlefields. Yeah, it was Old Littlefields.

The bigger one. Old Littlefields. And we said, we don't have it tonight. And then... You sent me that text and I was like, of course. It wasn't one of those first of all I should say that anytime I see

anytime I see someone ask for a favor I go no yeah yeah I'm so fucking gross like that I'm not yeah

it's not like a no open it's just like oh I guess I'm just usually no it's not that it's that I'm usually distracted enough

to be like I need to think about this later but I hearing from you and like hearing that the special was coming the half hour is coming and i was like oh my god of course yeah it was it's i think you are going into this with enough goodwill from so many people

with so many people that like you are you can actually pull that lever and send people because the thing is i think you are like a comedian's comedian whereas and like it's just you we're so excited everyone in the comedy community is so excited to see you succeed and like it's just we're so excited everyone in the comedy community is so excited to see you succeed and like that's for real well and that's me i will say this right when we say like how do you feel you know about the response to special nothing touches me more than the fact that's to me because when i remember to talk to you sorry comedians watched it i was like do you know how hard it is to watch another comedian do anything right you don't know like when you're out here and like trying and you're just like, what the hell is bitch up to now?

Because you've seen it all. Between like seeing people's sets all the time or where you at emotionally at the time with somebody else coming up. You know what I mean? It's so hard. I was like, oh my God, you actually chose to watch this and you're off time. Thank you for this blessing. That is the truth and the light. And that is definitely what made me feel like, okay, okay.

I'm one of you now. There you go. Isn't it funny though? Because I would think of you as someone who's reached such a thing, but it's like you still feel, and I still feel this way too. Sometimes I even have a hard time

even saying I'm a comedian still. Because I feel like there's this thing, there's this assumption when you say you're a comedian that you're funny it's like you know i have a tough time saying i'm a singer too you know what i mean it's like it's hard to like claim this thing or even actor like i don't know what it is like where i have to get to make sure that i'm okay with saying i am who i am right but and then it goes away over time like i guess now that I make money doing these certain things, it's, like, easier.

But when did you feel comfortable saying you were what you were? Well, it's interesting. So among friends and people who were in it, easily, immediately. I was actually in a lift a couple days ago, and the guy asked me what I did, and I said I was a comedian.

And he was like, really, where? And I go, Netflix. The ability to point to something specifically now makes me feel like I could tell a stranger off the street. Because when you go to someone and it's like, I'm a comedian and a writer. It's like, okay, what would I know? It's like, I don't know what you would know. I don't know your life. But it's like now it feels like there's enough things that I could point to in any given time.

Now it feels like that's OK. And it's also for the people, for instance, who have no idea what we really do or what it entails. Yeah. You can at least point to this end result because it's so my mom will still ask me about projects from like three years ago. Right. Because she'll be like, well, whatever happened with that? Yeah. And I'm like, nothing. But you wrote it. And I was like, uh-huh. And she goes, so now what? I'm like, baby girl, you can't ask. You gotta let go and let God. It's so interesting. Like, being in this is so

different than being outside it. Yeah. And to be honest, I've, this is quickly just me saying this. I don't want to, I'm not like pulling focus or anything. I just, I feel like, I too have had this crisis recently where i'm like i don't think i can call myself a comedian well i don't think i can call myself a writer i that's wrong i don't think i can call myself an actor at this point i'm like i'm truly like what is my there's no but you are all three

of those things professionally but i yeah i guess i guess there's something different about like the um whatever you put on your like taxes versus whatever you like however you like identify and relate to like your craft right and i guess i'm not feeling like i guess i need to like return to like this craft work relationship with it well it's interesting because I will say as much as you're both so wrong and you're all the things that you don't think you are, I also really appreciate the fact that you're willing to stop and look within and say, am I a comedian? Because too many people are saying they're comedians.

Too many people are saying they're comedians out here. Okay? A viral tweet does not a comedian make. And I think I am and of course we can all be everything and it's not like what is stand-up or whatever, but there is something for me about the, I hold in high regard the work it takes to stand up in front of people and win them over. Yeah. Oh, my God.

The live performance aspect. If you have not had to do that to me, I'm like, you're a personality. You're an actor. Like, don't get me wrong. You have built up your crowd. But you only had to hit them straight. Right, exactly. built up your crowd yeah yeah but you only had to hit them streets right exactly you know and and kind of had your have your soul eroded in a certain way and then like you know replenish it's a different thing i'm also excited to get to the point now with i mean hopefully

and i'm knocking on wood with the numbers going down and like you know they're saying that europe is like an quote-unquote end game of the pandemic i'm really excited for people that are young and people that were starting out to be able to resume getting better and getting out there on stage. Because I think that one of the big, obviously there's so many tragedies and sad elements of what we've been through in the past three years now. But I just think of myself as a developing talent when I was in my 20s and really grinding grinding and like waiting tables and that stage time was so important and i think about the generation of people who just because of bad timing right when they were about to get their stuff and like the live scene was really thriving

and then this happened and that had to stop and not everyone is good at you know being malleable enough to go to the zoom right or to go do-facing on Instagram or to be a self-starter and write something and, like, get yourself out there. Like, it's not necessarily true that because you're a great live performer, you're going to be good at all that stuff. So to know that, like, you know, shows are happening again and to have seen it firsthand, like, it's just nice because I know how invaluable that is and that it creates real performers so it's nice to see. The thing about live performance is that you can jump into

it and then figure out what you're good at and it doesn't have to be live performance. Does that make sense? Yes. Well you're learning how you connect with people and especially you're learning at least for me it was I learned how people saw me. Right. When I get up, what is your expectation?

Yeah. How do I play with it and play into it? Yep. And so and it took me only, of course, getting up in front of so many different people and realizing, oh, OK. Right. And and there is that, obviously, of course, it leads to like six levels of self-consciousness and self-obsession, but also a self-awareness

that can be very helpful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's, I think when, you know, I feel bad for people

who kind of came up online. Yeah. I mean, obviously it can be great and you out here Logan Pauling it with your 12 mansions or whatever,

but also the way you engage with humanity is like kind of such an extreme. It's disconnected. Yeah, and it's like, but also like,

people love you or they fucking hate you and there's no one but two of you and it's like kind of such an extreme it's disconnected yeah and it's like but also like people love you or they fucking hate you yeah and there's no one but it's like it's also you are you are literally uh calculating and negotiating your timing um and you don't actually know how to engage with things because it is like there is something about being in front of a live audience and you know i used to say this is another reason why i think it's a shame that you know we've had like the downfall of like ucb chelsea because what i always thought about like watching really good improvisers in that space was they were able to do something really small and get a reaction just because of the way that space was laid out and it created great actors you know what i mean like and it's like, you would only understand that from seeing, observing, and performing in a space like that. So those spaces are really important.

And so every time one shuts down or something goes down with something, I'm like, gosh, that's a whole legion of performers that would have thrived and been so great. And so it's frustrating, but like, I'm hopeful that like, they'll return. It's just. Yeah. It's just, it's been a long time since like, I have thought to myself, oh, I should go. I should see like, I, I, I might be doing something in the summer. I don't know yet. But the only hesitancy I have around it is that I haven't done it in so long.

And I kind of compartmentalize SNL. It's its own animal as its own animals with a separate skill set than what i used to do which was like go up either do like a weird six minute set or do like something completely did you do powerpoints and stuff would you ever do like i did powerpoints every now and then i would do matt and i would do lip syncs i would yeah yeah of course there was i was kind of like getting like something close to like a 15 minute set down. I mean, now none of it is that usable anymore, I don't think. Well, I have a question.

I feel like I've fully like shed that and left that behind in a weird way. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City are back. I love that. Oh my gosh. Welcome. And last season's drama was just the tip of the iceberg. You're recording us? I am disgusted.

Never in a million years after everything we've been through did I think that you would reach out to our sworn enemy. We were friends. How could you do this to me? I don't trust her. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Wednesdays at 9 on Bravo, or stream it on City TV+.

I'm Cheryl Swoops, WNBA champ, three-time Olympian, and Basketball Hall of Famer. I'm a mom, and I'm a woman. I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby, journalist, sports reporter, basketball analyst, a wife, and I'm also a woman. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. See, athlete or not, we all know it takes a lot as women to be at the top of our game. We want to share those stories about balancing work and relationships, motherhood, career shifts, you know, just all the we go through.

Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women. And T and I, well, we have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby, an iHeart Womenomen sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeartWomen Sports. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski.

Guess what, folks? We're teammates again. And we're going to welcome you guys all to Dudes on Dudes. I'm a dude dude you're a dude and dudes on dudes is our brand new show we're gonna highlight players peers guys that we played against legends from the past and we're just gonna sit here and talk about them and we'll get into the types of dudes what kind of types of dudes are there grunts we got studs wizards we got freaks or dudes dude we got dogs dog We'll break down their games. We'll share some insider stories and determine what kind of dude each of these dudes are.

Is Randy Moss a stud or a freak? Is Tom Brady a dog or a dudes dude? We're going to find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll.

This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. We talk about guilt, shame, body image, and huge life transformations. I was a desperate, delusional dreamer, and the desperate part got me in a lot of trouble. I encourage delusional dreamers. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate, delusional

dreamer. I just had such an anger. I was just so mad at life. Everything that wasn't right was everybody's fault but mine. I had such a victim mentality. I took zero accountability for anything in my life. I was the kid that if you asked what happened, I immediately started with everything but me. It took years for me to break that, like years of work. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. As you guys have gained an audience and attention, do you feel freer in that?

Meaning, okay, there are people who like me. I can kind of get on stage and have fun now. You know, as opposed to that feeling of like, god what's it gonna be or do you feel like no it's like it's a different thing do you know there is a there is like one so i did the first show i did going back after not performing for legit two years as greta and i had a headlining show at new york comedy festival and so i did i did 45 minutes like you're supposed to email her yes you say her name i was like oh god i couldn't email her i'm sorry continue um i and i i went up and did 45 minutes which which not only had i not had i quote unquote not done in a while i had never done and it was i it was you loved it

i loved it yeah and my my touring agent was there. And he was like, why didn't you ever tell me you could do that? And I was like, to be honest with you, it's somewhere in between I didn't know I could. And I just don't want to call myself a stand-up unless I really. Because you respect it. Because I respect it so much. And because I respect people like you so much and i respect people like you know joel and like megan gailey you know what i mean like people that are my peers but but i can see the hard yards they put in on that art form and so

honestly like when it comes to myself as a performer i don't know how you feel but yes it is nice to know that i have people out there that enjoy what i do and enjoy my voice and so therefore i don't feel as nervous about putting that into the container that is the stand-up thing but and then when i went out for my christmas show and did a bunch of dates and had such a nice like turnout and everything it was nice because i didn't think they came out just to cheer for me i think they came out because they wanted to see it and then they liked it you know what i mean like i i don't think it was this thing of like oh i can go out there and do anything because if that was the case i

would yeah and just make the check and then go home right but like this feeds who i am like i really that's what i want to be as a comedian and an actor etc so it gives you an excuse and it also just kind of it lets you kind of I feel free to try things and have fun which is how I unlock personally how I am I don't know about you I think that's I kind of really

identify with all of that and I don't mean to sound like super like a downer on this, but like I feel like on this note of like compartmentalizing all this stuff with SNL, now I'm kind of like, well, I have all of these support systems at my job where literally like I can like get the costume down and I can like get all these things, like get the look and the makeup and the writing and the cue cards all lined up so that I can just plug in and do it. It takes this different

self-sufficiency, obviously, to write your own material, be the only person on stage, unembellished, to do it yourself. I kind of don't know. I kind of need to work up the nerve to do it again because once you do it once you do it you remember it's there yeah yeah you gotta break the seal yeah yeah definitely definitely and there is something about like that's for me what i always

wanted like my when it comes like dreams for comedy all i ever wanted was the ability to like drop in places yeah right i want to Can I do it? And then also to know an audience is there for me. So it doesn't all have to be perfect. Right. They like me enough to go on a journey. Yeah. You know, I think you're there. No, she's

definitely there. We'll see. It depends. It depends on where it was so funny. I did a show at Largo a couple nights ago. And what I tell you, it was loosey goosey. I had two jokes and a dream. And it was so funny i did a show at largo a couple nights ago and what i tell you it was loosey-goosey i had two jokes and a dream and it was like 15 minutes and i was like and i hadn't been up in like six weeks yeah and i just hadn't you know you just don't have shit in your head like i didn't have anything and so i was like well we'll see how much goodwill i have amassed and they say girl you better dance it was a moment it was not like if it was not i can't imagine an audience being cold to you but i guess it happens but like it happens but it was just so

i was like oh and it's okay i see i see you want the a game i see do you love a gay audience i actually do yeah i don't even actually do i like they die for you I know but it's funny it's specific like gentle indoor gaze I've seen you at the duplex fucking kill I miss that so much and that is gentle indoor gaze yes like

you know just a soft boy we both read babysitter's club you know what I mean like that's the energy Victorian ghosts oh my god absolutely a drowned prince you know a soft boy. We both read Babysitter's Club. You know what I mean? Like that's the energy. Victorian ghosts. Oh my God. Absolutely. A drowned prince.

You know? That kind of feeling. That is so funny. But I feel like you are, I feel like the stand-up is going to be something that like, the return on the investment

of that is going to come over time and later. Like it's, the thing that, the thing about Netflix I I think, is that these stand-ups, they'll live on there forever and perpetuity. That will be the gateway that will keep

the window will stay open on that and people will just keep discovering you. Yeah. No, it's nice. It's funny. What has your... You referenced something before we started, but I know we're going to get to it, but what's the media diet been lately? It's so funny because I've been into a lot of British BBC, give me a procedural,

but it's a procedural that is an international romp. I am traveling from my couch. Yes. Especially just that. I'm watching something called Van der Valk. And he's a cop. And he's in Amsterdam. And it is gorgeous

these bodies in the canal I said I'd love to be a body in the canal they gotta look in the canal because there's always a body there if you want to go on an adventure as a cop you gotta look in the canal you have to

and I was like this is gorgeous and then okay I really tried I had started Real Housewives of Salt Lake City I had never watched a housewife

yes and I thought it's a good gateway, I think. Right? Because it's also only the one season. Right, right. So I could. You know, I didn't have to catch up on, like, nine years. However, I did not like watching it by myself

because there was so much, like, conversation and things I wanted to say. Yes. And, like, I would, like, text a friend of mine who would watch it and just, like, out of the blue, and I'd be like, what? Is she on a pole in her damn house on a weekend?

And she would be like, what are you talking about? Andy her damn house on a weekend? And she would be like, what are you talking about? Andy's not watching it with you? Oh no, he won't do such a thing. He won't do such a thing. But also, Andy,

we need separate. Yeah. So do you guys really, do you guys have separate media diets? We do. We overlap on a couple of things, but definitely separate media diets. For instance,

he's watching a lot of Seinfeld. Really? He just was like, let me go back. You know, it's like a very like, almost like, you know, that comfort watching. Theeld. Really? He just was like, let me go back. You know, it's like a very like, almost that, you know,

that comfort watching. The thing you put on where you're like, okay, I'm kind of checked out. Yeah. And then, you know,

British stuff. We watch a lot now, but it's funny. The stuff we watch, like I don't, I don't really want to feel stress in any way. So I just want to watch stuff.

I'm just like, Peacemaker. What's Reacher doing like i just watch i just watch nonsense and i find that very soothing have you tried the gilded age no maybe that's for you does it have some personality i always find that time period and also the downton abbey's like right that stuff was really stuffy and especially that downton shit i watch it 45 minutes just to see you touch somebody's hand right right okay i can't i can't with a hand brush and that's a romance the gilded age is like the american version of downton abbey which to me

takes a lot out of it it's like okay but what i will say is like it's it's julian fellows so and like i think he got away with a lot of downton abbey because it was like very british and like therefore you didn't recognize that a lot of the writing was like really on the nose but the writing is literally this hello i'm here in the room now are you yes i am too what should we discuss well the matter at hand yes of course the matter at hand what do you think of it this same but a little different well in this mild disagreement i'm gonna let you know that i want to do this go do it and i'll see you there bye look out the window scene it's just like so on the nose i love it i would watch that it's just long like it's like it's hbl max so it's

like hour plus the cast is great carrie coon is eating it up i would say isn't it carrie coon christine baranski cynthia cynthia nixon first lady of hbl max what is that about i mean now that she ain't governor she's tech avail absolutely she was like i tried i tried to be a political candidate candidate that's how i that's that my first like question mark about and just like that i'm like yeah but we wouldn't have this if cynthia was governor and so therefore do we need it i we have gone on record to say that we, the finale righted so many wrongs. Did it really? Well, it didn't actually literally right the wrongs. We just enjoyed

the finale so much that we're like, you know what? This is what the show should be. Made the whole season worth it. Interesting. Could not. I watched the first three episodes. Then I watched episode, I believe, seven. I was livid. I was livid from the beginning. Yes. and i just felt like i could not i could never get right with it yeah and i just felt like if there's one thing i felt

is that like honey time is short i could get i could get to coco at any day yeah i can't be wasting my time on it just like that right right and then i got i was glad when uh charlotte's puffiness went down the first couple episodes i go what did they do to her? I kind of just wish that these people who decide to book and then decide to get work right before will just think about that. There's no need. Let it settle.

You know your schedule. Get it three months before. You know what I mean? Not two weeks before. I know. Sometimes it's just i have nothing against people doing anything they want do whatever you want it's just time it out right right right right right because she literally transformed between episodes yeah she hadn't

settled yeah and i didn't realize i was like worried because it made me very nervous because to think you would have that level of cash and fame as somebody would still do you wrong like that i was like my god no my God, no one's safe. No one is safe. There's no immunity for me. I was like, okay, I guess it's just the process. I learned it's just the process. Wealth does not inoculate you from

talking like this. Would you ever get anything done? Yeah. I want to just kind of melt this off and give me an actual jawline you're talking about your like chin chin neck and like you see right here the the jaw here yeah kind of kind of get that down that's it that's all i think that as as men were interested in this area because what's so desirable is that really intense strong jawline um and so that i, is something that as we get into our 30s, we look at more and more.

And I also look at my parents. And sometimes I see that they have a little bit of that. Don't bring them into this. No, I'm not going to. But I'm just going to say, as you age and you see people in your family get that, you think, oh, I might get that. And it's a natural part of the human aging process right but because you're in the distorted dystopian hollywood entertainment industry you think you're aware of that type of thing that i definitely wouldn't be right had i been like right straight investment banker or whatever yes it's funny because i saw you posted a picture on instagram

i don't know a couple weeks ago that i texted you. How were the smoke and mirrors working that day? Let me know. Always working. Oh, I know. Always working. That's a good answer. But it was, you know, you had a picture of your nose, and it looked like your nose was busted. And I remember texting you being like, are you okay? And then you're like, oh, that was from the past.

But my first thought, I said, come on, he didn't get a damn nose job. Well, yes. He didn't live in Hollywood. But not technically. But wait, you did? I had a cyst. I was born with an inch long cyst in my nose.

So, I don't know, if you look at old pictures of me, I had like a red certainly like a we can say a hole. Like a dimple. In the middle of my nose, and it was getting to the point where it would get like infected. Oh wow, okay. And so I had to So it wasn't even an elective, it wasn't

really elective. No, I medically needed it, but because insurance companies are like, oh, it's a rhinoplasty, that must be an elective surgery, they did not cover it. So I paid coins. What? To get a rhino septal and get this inch long cyst in my nose that I was born with removed. Best thing I ever did. Okay. And now it's like not an issue,

but I did, I can say I got work done. Right, right, right, right. And I'm very happy that I did. And honestly, like, your face didn't change. No. That's what I'm saying.

Your face didn't change. Well, I told him, I was like, you know, I really don't want to change the way I look. Yeah. And I was like, I really like the like

Grecian shape of my nose. Like, I like it. I don't want to look different. And they were like, well, you know, the thing is like when you have a surgery like this, will look a little different i was like okay well make me look better okay then i want it to be thinner up top and uh-huh that's all like

this um but you know it's just it is what it is but i know guys guys that are a little bit older than us like i know we worked on a movie with someone who's 38 and he has incredible skin and i asked him like what do you do and he's like when i was 31 i started getting botox preventatively so that's something that's on my co-host megan gailey from the i love a lifetime movie podcast which which is so fun oh we didn't we didn't mention couples therapy and i love you but also matt it was so funny though because matt like doesn't like scary uh-huh and i'm like okay lifetime is thrillers only, honey. And when this one comes on, it's like, I was terrified.

I was clutching my laptop. What was it called? Psycho Granny. I watched a movie called Psycho Granny about... Wait, Lifetime is horror now? It's chilling. It's thriller. Thriller or chiller? Thriller or chiller. Yeah. Tile of up. Tile of up. Thriller or chiller. Okay.

But she's been doing Botox for forever. And I think I'm too much of a pessimist. I'm always just afraid of something going wrong. I know. I get it. You know? But it's not that I don't think, like, yeah, I'm just always like, oh, Lord, what if they leave something in me?

And next thing you know, I got a gauze belly. It looks like a random. Gauze belly? When you think about it, not as Botox, but as botulism toxin that's what gets scarier yeah i mean it's like then it's like oh god that sounds like it could go wrong and also you want the person that's doing it to be good but you can find those person right that those people you just have to pay for it and look for it and take time to like figure it out with their gay from real heather gay yeah i would go out to salt lake city beauty lab and laser But I guess what you're saying is that with the

Kristen Davis of it all, it's hard to... There's no escaping rough work. Some rough times. Now, because you said you got that done. You knew your schedule. You planned it. You looked at your timing. Shot the pilot of I Love That for you last March, and it was such

a pain in the ass putting makeup on my nose. And it was such a thing. I was taking so long on the chair because as a result of it my nose was irritated it was painful and so i was like i'm a not putting myself through this or a makeup department do this again i was pretty confident it would get picked up so i was like let's fucking do this so i got get this the doctor who put mary joe butofuco's face back together after the Long Island Lolita Amy Fisher herself shot her in the face, I got him to put my nose back on.

Okay, did not even think he'd be a fail. He was on Oprah. He was on Oprah. But like, you know what I mean? He'd be like, okay, I can see you in four years. He's in Beverly Hills, and I was like, let's go. And I got an amazing dermatologist that recommended him to me.

Went, did it. It was done well. But after the surgery, he did tell me, he's like, it was a really hard surgery. Whoa. He was like, I'm really happy you came to me. And I was like, okay. But honestly, after some scar treatments, it looks good. Yeah.

And I also don't look different. No, you don't. Right, right, right. You feel lucky? I feel so lucky. I feel amazing, Carl. But also, you deserve. I feel newly improved.

And also, not for nothing, but they did a septoplasty too, so my breathing is better. Oh, great. It helped your breathing. Because everyone's got that little deviation. Of course. A little natural deviation. A little natural deviant what would you get done have you had anything done i haven't had anything done i do it's funny we're talking about like hydraulic i'm noticing and it's funny that dang half hour everybody oh i had to look at like four edits you know what i mean i know you're just studying yourself and i said this is sick it's

too much i mean we just watched ourselves in a thing and it's we we had we're in crisis we're in crisis and then meanwhile it's like i'm hearing you say this and i'm like you looked fucking stunning you did and i didn't notice a flaw you know i was terrified first of all i told you a straight white man did my makeup no and i said do that and i said is this legal you know i mean some of the stuff i'm like is this non-union where is he this was a new york and a white woman did my hair and when i say what now this is gonna live This was in New York. And a white woman did my hair. And when I say, what? This is going to live online forever in 80 countries. And you got these Caucasians touching my face. Yeah, but you looked great.

You looked really good. It worked itself out. But part of why we didn't use some of that second set is because between the tapings, there was no time. Because I was last on the first show, first on the second show. How many of you guys? Because I on the second show how many of you guys because I know they got like a b-roll

of you guys hanging out it was me Melissa your girl and Dusty Slay so it was three people yeah and so so between there was like not much time

and certainly I worked up a sweat you know I like to be very active and so then he just sort of like shellacked on this much lighter stuff no and so like whenever the camera was like punching in or washed the

fuck out i was looking like yeah i was it was just like and also like cool it wasn't even warm no no no i i will definitely show you footage i will show you some of the original promo pictures where i go can you please make me look my skin color and then i had to like send them pictures of my actual i was like here's where i was looking good and i was like can you match that yeah yeah yeah um and so it was like oh good lord but uh i just remember just you know you look at yourself and she's like okay and i you have to just freaking let go there ain't nothing i can know about what somebody's gonna think and we were saying like no one is thinking about those little things as much as you are so that's another psychological hurdle to go over especially when you're tall and when you're on camera looking down at people a lot like when you look down and like this happens

yeah like for example in the show i'm shooting now like i'm taller than all these ladies so i'm looking down at them like this and it's just i know the chin be chinning but also like i was not somebody you know i will do whatever to get the laugh i'm not necessarily trying to look cute when i'm on stage right so i will that's a bonus yeah and do something but then when you see it kind of bigger it's like baby girl you got your damn mind yeah but like in the moment it's like of course like that was fun for me to do yeah and then it was just funny when they were like okay we have some promotional photos. I was like, reject, reject, reject. In the moment, it works. Yes.

But when you just take a still of it, it's upsetting. That's another thing with live performance. It's like you figure out your little tricks that work. Like your little kind of shifts and movements that work. Like, you know, your little things. And then you look at them on camera and you're like, no!

Not my trick! My trick is ugly! And you gotta learn to not hate the stills photographer. It's not their fault. It's God's fault. It's God's fault. They happen to press the shutter at the wrong time.

Look, I'm a mover. It's hard for them. I'm the same thing. Right? And so when you have a lot of comics who do kind of just stand in place, it's really easy to get them being cute. Whereas Henny, I'm using same thing. Right? And so a lot, you know, when you have a lot of comics who do kind of just stand in place, it's really easy to just like get them, being cute. Whereas Henny, I'm using the space. You're filling the negative space.

And yes. Thank you, Kinetic. Kinetic kinesthetic. And we have to shout out the Susan Alexander bag. So cute. Oh, absolutely. Shout out Sydney Washington

for making that connection for me like two days before the taping. Oh, bless. Because I was like, I love your bag. And then she was like, Susan Alexandra, here's her number. I the table oh bless because i'm like i love your bag and then she was like susan alejandra you here's her here's her number see it and i was like oh my god she gave me a bag and i live you know because i love to bring my bag on stage because i don't trust people but i knew it had to be something special yeah i didn't want to

do it to start and and i couldn't figure out how to start the set and then i was just like but every time i bring the bag it just kind of loosens up the room oh yeah then i was like i gotta bring the bag it's a great solid bit to start out on when you have those little things it's like and they're tried and true i never i never fault uh someone who i've seen do this a similarly structured set multiple times i never fault them for doing the same tent poles yeah like start midpoint finish like if they're all like consistent i'm like yes that works on a structural level but i wasn't sure because right of course you could do it when like we're performing in some janky bar or some theater but i was like this is a taping you know my bag is actually safe somewhere yeah right but i was like well who really knows we're in times square yeah right exactly so i was

like i just gonna have it and i didn't have my phone in there i had my room key and i had i had a lip balm. Of course you guys gave up your apartment in New York, right? That was your mom's place. Yes, yes, yes. Is she still there? Yeah, but we were like, you know, for the taping and everything, we were at the hotel when they were taping it because

we had to do all this running back and forth. Did mom come to one of the shows? Yes, she came. And you know, in my mother, she always has notes. And after the seven, though, she came to this early show and she texted me she goes naomi i haven't laughed so hard oh forever that was that was great no no love that and she usually has one she always has some notes yeah and are do you get them are you kind of like mom man we don't need those we don't need those. We don't need those notes. Do you know what I mean?

It's already been done. The show's been done. I don't need you telling me how I should have worn something else. The show's been done. Oh, is that what it is? That kind of stuff. Yeah. And so it's like mom notes and not like, I don't know about this joke.

But even that is a mom version. She'll be like, do you have to say that? You know? Parental notes and my experience as well have always been about my appearance and and not even my appearance or my dad will always be like on sundays will be like wow i loved how you played a news reporter i loved how you looked like a normal person and i'm like okay i understand what you're saying like that i wasn't like a total fucking faggot on tv and you're happy about that and i and you know what like that's what? That's what the parental feedback usually ends up

being for me. Parental feedback for me. I have to say I'm pretty lucky with this. My parents kind of get it. You guys are really close. Y'all are friends. My parents kind of get it. And I think that they they've kind of like um seen me do a lot on stage like they were coming to like my sketch comedy shows in college where

it was like all the humor was basically sex and like yeah you know what i mean like so they've kind of seen the whole thing i think that now that it's become this fall on bravo it's time to turn up think you've seen it all i don't think you've been a good friend to me lately. We're friends like that. Who needs enemies? You ain't seen nothing yet. Cheers to being Germanic. With the Real Housewives of Potomac.

Oh my gosh, can I take this in? It's gonna be amazing. New York City. Everyone is a gossip. No one gets a happier life. Salt Lake City. We don't wear costumes, we wear fashion. And below deck sailing out.

You broke the rules and now you're here getting upset. Watch all new seasons on Bravo or stream it on City TV+. Let's have a real good time. I'm Cheryl Swoops, WNBA champ, three-time Olympian, and basketball Hall of Famer. I'm a mom and I'm a woman. I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby, journalist, sports reporter, basketball analyst, a wife, and I'm also a woman. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. See, athlete or not, we all know it takes a lot as women to be at the top of our game. We want to share those stories about balancing work and relationships, motherhood, career shifts, you know, just all the we go through because no matter who

you are, there are levels to what we experience as women and TNI. Well, we have no problem going there. Listen to levels to this with Cheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby and I Heart Women's Sports Production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. Guess what, folks? We're teammates again.

And we're going to welcome you guys all to Dudes on Dudes. I'm a dude, you're a dude, and D and dudes on dudes is our brand new show we're gonna highlight players peers guys that we played against legends from the past and we're just gonna sit here and talk about them and we'll get into the types of dudes what kind of types of dudes are there we got studs wizards we got freaks or dudes dude we got dogs dog we'll break down their games. We'll share some insider stories and determine what kind of dude each of these dudes are. Is Randy Moss a stud or a freak? Is Tom Brady a dog or a dude's dude? We're going to find out, Jules.

New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, a five-year-old boy floated alone in the ocean. He had lost his mother trying to reach Florida from Cuba. He looked like a little angel. I mean, he looked so fresh. And his name, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere. Elian Gonzalez. Elian Gonzalez. Elian. Elian. Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere. Elian Gonzalez. Elian.

Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian Gonzalez. At the heart of the story is a young boy and the question of who he belongs with. His father in Cuba. Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him.

Or his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. At the heart of it all is still this painful family separation. Something that as a Cuban, I know all too well. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, as part of the My Cultura podcast network, available on the iHeartRadio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts sort of more personality driven my dad says things like it's great to be a fly on the wall oh that's like my dad really my dad really likes the episodes of this podcast where it's like he loves the studio yes because it's just like he yeah and sometimes i have to remind

myself that he's listening to those like and i don't i never do when like when she's here because we pop off or whatever but i think there is something about um parents getting to genuinely actually get to know their kids in their work because i'm not going to go home and with my mom and dad be like well it's been tough with me bottoming recently because you know what i mean whereas where i'm with him it's kind of just like you know i say these things because it's how i feel right and it is part of my comedy part of my experience but um i would i don't think at this point anything would yeah surprise them and i don't think they feel like it's not like it maybe was in the beginning where they're like, maybe this or maybe that.

Like, I think they know that I know what's up. Right, right, right, right, right. Does mom listen to your podcast? No, but Uncle Fred does. And Uncle Fred will be commenting. I was like, you are very active on Instagram, Uncle Fred. I don't, I'm not ready for this. And then I'll be talking in the pod and then I'm like, oh my God, Uncle Fred listens.

Like, I'll remember. But it's just funny because he's never said anything to me. Like, he comments on stuff. He's never, like, written like written me you know a message or been like man i'm worried right he just but he listens but i have to remember that but it's just so funny i i'm pretty glad that she doesn't she hasn't really done a deep dive on podcasts as a concept i will not encourage it i will not tell her how i just said you, you know what? Just know they happen. She did listen to Lifetime. She was like, oh, I like the beginning, which means she only heard the intro.

Right. And I was like, great. When she listened to the beginning. Yes, yes. She was like, that sounds fun. Yeah. And so I was like, great. You know, I'm not going to let it.

It took me so long just to let her come see me perform. Yeah, yeah. It's like, can you have anything? Right. That's the thing. you've got to draw these lines you know the public the private slap or not even just private as much as you know you and your parents matt y'all are like hanging out golfing loving each other in disney world you know what i mean yeah and and there's like an ease there whereas i think i am still very much controlling the narrative. And yeah, recalibrating the distance and not in like a dysfunctional way. I'm sorry, but you know what I mean?

That's how I feel like I, to be honest, I feel like I do that a lot. And it's okay. And I think my parents understand that and it's fine. Yeah. There's been a lot of pain in the journey towards me like doing what I do right right right right a lot of it is sacred to me

and also I feel like now they understand it because it's so objective your success you know what I mean like whereas like I think it was kind of amorphous to them before because they didn't understand like where I would end up right yeah and now that it's like and they didn't even really know what Saturday Night Live was. Right. But then

it ended up being like a thing of sitting in like you know an Uber and having your driver be like well what have you done? And you can say like Netflix. It took like other people to tell my parents oh Bowen's doing so well. Yes. That's the same thing with my mom too. I remember when I first started writing on Broad City

and again and even Comedy Central like my mother she's like she has a web series like and then she was at work and there was a young a young lawyer in the in the elevator and like one of my mom's friends is like you know how's Naomi she's like oh she's good she's on she's working on this thing called Broad City and then the lawyer the young lady was like Broad City I love Broad City and then my mom came home and was like what is this broad city yeah yeah i was like it's been two years thank you for asking um but it's true it's like you have to hear from other people to kind of understand where it stands right well it's so fascinating now too because we are so far away from the monoculture that unless it's like yellow

stone which my parents do watch yeah of course not everyone knows it like i wrote for the other two which is like a huge show within the gay community yeah within the comedy community but then and no shade but like you talk to people who are like my parents yeah they don't know what the fuck that is right right right like but it means everything to people that live in like new york and la and like it's huge and like oh my god i love that show whatever people don't fucking know what that is i know people don't know what q force is right i know like no i love it yeah okay while i have you here i'm here were you also singing giving me the falsetto of the little boy from genova yes i thank you i thought so i said that's matt's falsetto and then it's such a fun line where he goes can i kill him he's a threat to me

and so i just like needed to know it was you you have no idea you know my i love when people tell me that they liked q force i it was so like it it was very fun i was i was at like a friend's birthday party recently and a couple gays came over and they were like i just and on set this like second id came over and she was like i had just found out something and then she's like you're a twink and i was like i am yeah and i it came out of her mouth and i was like huh yeah she's like you're a twink i thought i heard that you're a twink you're a twink i was like uh i was like and i was like not for like nine years and then i was like oh she means this but like it's it's interesting because like my parents only know what the shit i work on is is because i tell them right yeah you know i'm not i'm because i'm not working on and even the network shows yeah like our people

don't know them right right you know what you know what i'm so excited to see succeed is um abed elementary oh my god of course yeah yeah like that is so great and also to see janelle on it and like that feels hysterical too she's so funny on it. It feels just like our... And I don't know Quinta, but I do know Janelle a little bit, but I know that people know them around me, so I do feel like they're my people. Yes, yes, yes.

And to see that cross over and to see her be the star of that show and it be a mainstream success and people really like it, that's very rare. Yes, yes. That's a great premise for a comedy, too, where it's like...

And it feels very of the too where it's like and it feels very of the time where it's like oh these teachers are like under-resourced and like they're gonna make it work themselves that's the thing is it's like you you think like situation comedy in an elementary school or whatever it is like in the public school is gonna be like oh we've seen it but then there is that very specific angle of the the underfunded under-resourced thing and it's like makes it timely without feeling fucking beating you over the head with it and i'm just excited to see it you know because there is success in the industry in terms of yes i got something made and then there's real success in terms of like i got a network thing people know it exists there's a difference yeah i made it people either like

someone recognized the talent or like the goods that's one success right i made the thing that's another success yeah People know it exists as the third success. You know what I mean? Yes. They're the different ways and you have to sometimes just, you know,

be happy with where you land. Yeah. Where you land with that. Exactly. So true. The Quinta thing is so cool because I think the write-up in Vulture was like,

I think they did a profile on her where they were like, she like, kind of like, for her to like, make a network comedy sort of like, pop off this way is like,

pretty great. Yeah. I mean, especially because not often do they succeed exactly exactly because there's so many her i mean think about how hard it is well she and i were developing both abc at the same time and so yeah that this particularly i think that time and that cycle where it was like and also to a kind of overlap then the pandemic started because first it was like okay we like you but now we want you to write a backup script okay now wait there's a pandemic these are the hurdles then it's like a boom and all that kind of stuff and so you know just to get through all of that and also for nobody over there to give up on her yeah you know to be like yes let's make this let's do this let's do you know that's like i mean blessings all around and rare but you gotta you to run your own room soon. I just want to show up and be talent.

Do I have to run the room though? It's so hard. Okay, see, I just assumed for whatever reason, just because you've done the job so well for so long, that maybe you would want to level up and do that. But if you just want to be talent, God bless. I'd love to write it, but you know what it is? Actually, when I see what performer showrunners have done, you know, working on Difficult People, for instance, obviously Broad City.

And again, that's a little different because at least they write and then shoot. But sometimes that overlaps, and it's like, I honestly do not care what color tie the extra is wearing, right? But the showrunner needs to have an opinion, and at the very least, someone's going to ask for it. Right. I don't even like when people behind me in line are like, let alone if a bunch of people are waiting for my opinion on something for it to begin. It's so hard. That's very stressful to me. Especially when you are like, I see Vanessa do it. Like, she's the star of the show. She like, created the show.

She like, is an EP on the show. She does all these things. And like, she wrote the first episode. And like, da, da, da. And it's just, it's so much work. much work and the only like i think about this like i think about like what would it be like you know for us to have our own show and it's like you'd really have to fall in love with the idea because you have it has to be your life yes like that's the thing is it's like when we talk about like making a show or like what what i think i think about what i want that

to be it's like i have to really wait to make sure that it's the right thing, saying the right thing with the right people in the right way because you have to be 100% on board because it is 100% of your energy. It is so hard to be that person. I mean, 80 with Shrill. I know. You know what I mean? I know.

And still has such a sunny disposition. I mean, 80 with shrill. I know. You know what I mean? I know. And still has such a sunny disposition. I know. And incredible. And I could cry if I think too much about it. I was like, how is that possible? Yeah. I was like, honestly, superhuman. Okay, the fact that you can already, like, draw that boundary within yourself is huge

and, like, it will mean good things. And then if you just want to be talent for now, then yes. Oh, my God. Please. Just, like. Well, I feel like we're, like, encouraged to want to be that person that does everything. Yeah god please just like well i feel like i feel like we're like encouraged to want to be that person that does everything but it's also okay because i i secretly want that too i think and it's been i haven't really been able to say that for don't be afraid

to just be talent i'm obsessed with just being talent honestly thank you because here's the thing and also i'm happy to write but also but here's the other thing i will say and again i hope i'm not sounding like i'm preaching on you no no no no no i think the thing is we're in a business you know where we are creative and there is a very big difference between a creative voice and a managerial voice knowing how to delegate knowing how to communicate and i would tell you right now if i'm your boss i'm probably crying in the bathroom yeah and we just don't need it we need someone someone professional. We need someone focused. We need someone not emotionally attached to this. And you know what?

You know? Because if I'm doing something and then you're like, I mean, I don't think it's going to work. I'm like, this is who I am. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've almost cried like several times over nothing. And I'm like, I'm number six. But like I walk away from a take and I'm like

I hope we got it and the tears come to my eyes and I'm like thank god I'm not more invested in something because I'd be a wreck like you have to like actually like look at yourself and be like maybe like right now where I'm at like it is better for me to just soak up and sponge and like learn like

you know it's all a process you know not everyone is fucking and who knows if she even really was ready like lena dunham's ready to run and create do her show and star in it at age like 20 fucking two or three like you know what i mean like you think because these things are done that they're possible that they should that they are the standard right and they're not they're not yeah they're not there's something i love about i think part of what i love about like for instance being on a set is the feeling of being a cog in a wheel not in a bad way but there's some when you are standing on a set and you look out and it's like

60 bitches up in here trying to work make it happen lifting shit got the cargo shorts full of stuff and all the pockets yes you realize my job is to stand here and make it easy for you. And that is such, in a way, the simplicity of that is very soothing to me. Yes, I like that way more than if everyone comes to you and is like, what do you think? What do you feel? What do you want? Then you get, you start to

decision fatigue. And also you just believe your own hype and you start to think you are the center of the universe. And that's so funny because at the end of the day the other day like we were leaving the end of the day and like a sound guy came over and he was like hey thanks for today and i was like thank you and it's like because we both did it you know what i mean like just because you're appearing on camera you literally you have to all work together and it is a team and that's why like you know you never that's why like that like the ayati stuff is like you have to support with all your

being because it just doesn't happen without every single person and you never understand that more than when you're on a set and like that community is being built and it's just it's really i don't know i'm like it's been really learning experience and great and it's just so hard to to do certain big tasks and have more than one hat. Yes, definitely. I was watching Don't Ask Why

a bunch of Julia Roberts interviews from the last three years. No, I'm sorry. I have to ask why. Because I think I'm like newly I'm obsessed with her once again in my life. You read that thing about her. I read that with her once again in my life you read that thing about her

I read that piece about that piece about again in Vulture about what was the piece it was about how she really wanted to lean into being this unlikable

protagonist in My Best Friend's Wedding and she wanted to sort of like sully her image as this like good girl rom-com lead back in the late 90s but anyway

and then it just like led me down down this like path of just watching a bunch of videos and like you know this is so I know this is gonna sound so stupid but it's stuck with me where she um they ask her what's like an essential you need on set like what's the thing that you need on set and like they're probably asking her like oh a fucking jade like they want an answer out of her like a jade ruler or something you know like a snack but then she just goes no honestly

like camaraderie like this sense that like we're just goes, no, honestly, like, camaraderie. Like, this sense that, like, we're all doing this together. And I'm like, oh, she's been doing this for so long. That's probably what she's led with for her whole career. She literally married a cameraman. Which is so hot. So hot. And they're always the hottest people on the set. Yeah, he's like, well, crew guys are hot.

Oh my god, I know they can always get it. They can always get it. And I said, I was like, oh, a man in a cargo shirt with a little bit of a stubble, a calisthenics. I'm really into it. The lesbian cargo short energy on a set is so, so hot to me. I will, anyone in a cargo short,

if they're on a movie set or a TV set, I will explore the idea of sex with them. Internally, it's going down. It's going down inside. Yep. It's going down inside. Going down inside. That's what it is.

That's what sex is, actually. That's what sex is. It's going down inside. To go down inside. That's a rule of culture. It's rule of culture number 70. That's what sex is, actually. It's going down inside.

The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City are back. I love that. I love that. Oh, my gosh. Welcome. And last season's drama was just the tip of the iceberg. You're recording us? I am disgusted.

Never in a million years after everything we've been through did I think that you would reach out to our sworn enemy. We were friends. How could you do this to me? I don't trust her. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Wednesdays at 9 on Bravo or stream it on City TV+. I'm Cheryl Swoops, WNBA champ, three-time Olympian, and basketball Hall of Famer.

I'm a mom and I'm a woman. I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby, journalist, sports reporter, basketball analyst, a wife, and I'm also a woman. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. See, athlete or not, we all know it takes a lot as women to be at the top of our game. We want to share those stories about balancing work and relationships, motherhood, career shifts. You know, just all the s*** we go through. Because

no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women. And T and I, well, we have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby, an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty, and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. We talk about guilt, shame, body image, and huge life transformations. I was a desperate delusional dreamer and the desperate part got me in a lot of trouble. I encourage delusional dreamers. Be, delusional dreamer, and the desperate part got me in a lot of

trouble. I encourage delusional dreamers. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate, delusional dreamer. I just had such an anger. I was just so mad at life. Everything that wasn't right was everybody's fault but mine. I had such a victim mentality. I took zero accountability for anything in my life. I was the kid that if you asked what happened, I immediately started with everything but me. It took years for me to break that, like years of work. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, a five-year-old boy floated alone in the ocean. He had lost his mother trying to reach Florida from Cuba.

He looked like a little angel. I mean, he looked so fresh. And his name, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere. Elian Gonzalez. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian. Elian.

Elian Gonzalez. At the heart of the story is a young boy and the question of who he belongs with. His father in Cuba. Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. At the heart of it all is still this painful family separation. Something that as a Cuban, I know all too well.

Listen to Chess Piece, the Elian Gonzalez story, as part of the My Cultura podcast network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Well, I think it's time. I think it might be time for I Don't Think So Honey, which is an iconic segment, I'd say, in podcast history. And only very few podcasts have really had a segment

that has really been so impactful in the culture that people have written articles about it. You know, like people talk about it people have written articles about it you know like people talk about people do you talk about and it's our one minute section where we rant against something in pop culture and we go absolutely off on it until it's dragged in the mud and doesn't show itself in pop culture public again again okay i'm ready you've this is matt rogers has something yeah this is matt rogers i don't think so This is Matt Rogers. I don't think so, honey. His time starts now. I don't think so, honey.

Charlie Puth giving me a boner. How come you're so hot? Charlie Puth, it looks like you sort of barely try in the best way. You are that naturally hot little boy, and I feel like you're so talented, and when you throw up on Instagram a little supercut of you writing a hit fucking song, when it's like, today I wanted to write a song about this and he's like and i figured maybe it could be and he's just putting it together and he like well we're like a little tank top or like just be fully shirtless or like he's a little tease boy and i'm like why are you doing this i don't think

so honey because here's the deal then i go on your spotify and i'm looking through the songs and i'm not like in love with any of the songs really but'm in love with you. No, you know what? They're all like A-. I don't have my A plus Charlie Puth Puth Puth but it's making my Puthie wet and here's the thing. He can have my Boothie and even though I hate that word Charlie Puth, I'm literally

so sexually attracted to him and it's so effortless. His little cut in his eyebrow like what the fuck? I never thought I'd be a Puther but I'm Puther. I think so, honey. And that's one effortless. His little cut in his eyebrow. Like, what the fuck? I never thought I'd be a poother, but I'm poother. I think so, honey. And that's one minute. You need to listen to Empty Cups. You need to listen to How Long.

You need to listen to Girlfriend, obviously. The hits are there. You know what song I like? How long has this been going on? Yeah, I mean, he's so good. And then sometimes he'll literally literally throw together like a pop song on his instagram and i'm like are you fucking kidding me he's like it's so hot and sexy how genius he is and he's so hot and i get the feeling that he's one of those straight guys that you'd

meet that you'd be in love with yeah but he's a little bit of a fuck boy though don't you give you a fuck boy energy? To me, I'm like, oh, I see what you're saying. Like as a gay man, like he's towing the line with you. I think he's that kind of boy where it's like, I went to Wesleyan, which was very like artsy fart, like hippy dippy at the time. And I see him, he up with you at four in the morning

playing acoustic guitar. And you're like, are we going to hook up or what? Yeah. And he's just like kind of being close. He's going to cuddle you all night. Infuriuriating and then you like don't hear from him again do you know i mean that kind of feeling you would have rather had sex with him but he's like it's also like he's almost just like playing at closeness yeah without actually having to be close oh damn it's just it's he he posted this photo of him on a massage table.

And, like, the towel was, like, you could say, like, top butt. And I was like, you know exactly what you're doing. And fuck you. Because it works. It's like retail therapy. It works. It works. It just works.

It just works. And the thing is, like, you get the sense that, like, he kind of stumbled into being this hot, figured out he was, and was like, hell yeah. But it's interesting because I also feel like he probably, he knew he was cute when he was young. And obviously there's like a touch, right? Because wasn't he someone who made his own songs and then he was like, I'm a YouTube boy. Right. And so it's like, so you already know when you're a YouTube boy, you know that the people are liking what they're seeing. But then you get to a point where, like, people are literally crying when they look at you of course you're showing top butt yeah

the thing too though is he as he's getting older he's actually getting hotter whereas like i used to think he's getting scuzzier yeah a little a little grizzled a little grizzled which is kind of kind of really even hotter it really works but he's not cleaning it up he's kind of dressing it down and i also love and i say this with all love and respect but he it looks like he's not in the fucking gym every single day like only caring about that he's got like that natural hotness where i'm just like sometimes when i see these guys like that maybe i would have thought was hot when i was like 12 like mark walberg like made of muscle and like you know i did a motion picture with him and we had to hold hands for an entire day oh my god how did it go it was okay it felt very strange and like very you know it's just like what am i doing here

yeah and then i had it was like the second day and then we had to hold it and he's very like very like kind of chill person but then as soon as it's time for him to do like he just does what he has to do yeah and the camera's off and then he's like all right he's managing his energy yeah yeah yeah he really means that's like he's like a typical like person of like when we were younger it was like this is who's hot yeah yeah and i was like yeah you're right and i was used to be horned up for that but nowadays it's kind of like i don't know i like someone who looks like they're like less do you intensive they don't look like yeah like they don't you don't want to make it look like you don't want to see that it's a lot of work yeah who's just naturally living their life yeah as opposed to someone who you see and you're like okay i know there are no

carbohydrates allowed in his house yeah that gets a little sweaty for me i'm just like i don't know maybe it's also a thing of like uh i wouldn't know what to do with all that yeah you know what i mean like yeah maybe that's that yeah i i still will stumble across a Marky Mark pick in the Kelvins. I mean, you're a human gay man. I'm like, how did this person look like that? It's shocking. Him smiling and his big old thighs. I mean, it's crazy. I mean, it's fully insane.

I also think Calvin Klein ads are like a heterosexual weapon of war towards gay men to slow us down. They want us to be slow. They want us jacking off at home so we're tired enough our game.

I think it's a long game terror scheme by the heterosexuals. But now Calvin Klein I think is really embracing their queer, in a very authentic way. I truly believe this. I feel like Calvin Klein is like... He's trying to get in. Is he going to do a Calvin Klein print ad?

I did a thing with them over the summer. Yeah, that's where it is. Literally, they just had me host their live show at Pride. And it was kind of great to see. I was like, oh, do the people here internally care? Calvin Klein cares. it's actually real

number 105 calvin klein cares they do i don't want you joking about and the fact is i'll get in the gym for six months to be in an ad right i'm not i wasn't in an ad i'm not even saying i was in i'm saying no i'm saying i'm saying for me yeah his the goal would be the goal would be to be in an ad yeah fine throw me the money and the attention. I'll do it. It's not about the ads for me. It's about the sort of... Inclusivity. Not even the inclusivity.

It's just like... Because that feels too buzzwordy. Yeah, I get it. I feel like they really have always been about... I don't know. The queers. It doesn't matter. We're cutting this out.

It's okay. No, we're not. You know we have to tease you because we love you. But I believe that maybe, I don't think they knew what they were doing initially. Yes, yes, yes. But when they discovered what it was, they embraced it.

And they do a better job of it than most of these fucking companies that do pride campaigns. Yes, yes, yes. There was a season where they had Kellen Lutz and Mikad Brooks from True Blood

oh yeah and it was the whole thing was it was called it was Calvin that would solve racism that would solve racism it was Calvin Klein X

and it was like literally it was Mikad it was Kellen Lutz and there was an Asian guy and a Latino they did solve racism and they solved racism with it because

I was jacking off to all four. And so basically like but literally the campaign was like, you want to see my shit? And it was just them talking shit to camera and it was Calvin Klein X.

Like, mark your spot. That was the campaign. It was like, Google it. You'll come. Sounds like a poop play. It's like, mark your spot. Because it was calvin klein x like mark your spot that was the campaign it was like i'm so google it you'll come that's like a sounds like a poop it's like mark your spot because it was like x like on the on the band he's like you want to see my shit like talking about their cocks like i know you want to see it and like all four of them were like talking shit to the camera if it's and i'm like spinning out coming see this is how you know that i'm not like purely shilling for calvin klein is that you want to see my shit and then mark the spot. I think a poo.

Well, I wasn't thinking of poo at the time. I was thinking like this. That's what he was thinking. Okay. Well, I'm telling you. What was your item of thanks, honey? My item of thanks, honey, was. Charlie Puth.

Charlie Puth giving me a boner. Yes. Yeah. Great. Okay. So now it's Bowen Yang I think I have something

I think you do okay alright so this will be a moment in time Bowen Yang I don't think so honey time starts now

I don't think so honey cars that don't have carplay oh okay I need my phone IOS

ecosystem around me at all times especially when I'm driving down these streets of Los Angeles. I want to be able to tap my little messages icon and see what people are texting me as if it was my phone. I want to be, I want it to be a widescreen. I want to see different panels, Google Maps on one, Spotify on the other. 30 seconds. Who knows? Maybe Overcast on another. It's a podcast app.

Listen, I am having the worst time driving around this little rental corolla around Los Angeles right now because guess what? They don't have CarPlay. And I am taken out of the ecosystem. Yeah's right i'm a little apple boy and i need my apple products and carplay one of the best apple products ever made i don't

think so many cars that don't have carplay that's what i meant it's so funny because when i first moved to la i said to myself i was like i can't have every one of my I Don't Think So Honeys now be car related. He's in LA for days. And it's like, no CarPlay. I was actually just going to ask if you emceed an event hosted by Apple CarPlay. I did emcee a Pride event for Apple CarPlay. I think they've always been very... They're not as good with Pride. They've been very authentic about queer people using CarPlay, such as myself.

But here's the thing. I use CarPlay. And then you're at the whim of Wi-Fi. about queer people using carplay such as myself but here's the thing i i use carplay and then you're at the whim of wi-fi and bluetooth and it can get shitty because when you're needing to plug in an address and your wi-fi or a carplay it acts up and you're on the 405 or the or the 101 it's like yeah and you're having to negotiate that or else or you're gonna miss your exit and you're on the freeway like you know it's trick it's treacherous taylor swift well you know i don't drive so everything you're telling me is it's only just like part of why i don't it's too much it's too much you want me to look at the map and you want me to drive

who do you think i am no of course and then now you got me going to the damn Target in Burbank buying a little pop socket holder for the car vents. And now it just feels too... It's a lot. I don't have the confidence necessary. Now, I'm going to tell you right now. What, Bo? No, nothing. I got two I don't think so honeys in my head.

I see. Okay. And I just am like, maybe we have to flip a coin. You alluded to one of the topics earlier. I know. And then And I just am like, maybe we have to like flip a coin. You alluded to one of the topics earlier. And then the other one is more, is much more general. Okay. So here's what I'd say. I would say if it's going to influence you,

and just like that has taken up a ton of space on this podcast. Okay. And I know you came in with this. I don't think so, honey. We can still discuss it. And it can be discussed. And I'm also open to you doing both. I think because you have put a lot of time into and just like that are you going to

say that too that you spent a lot of time on and just like that i was going to say that you have earned the right to do both if you would like wow that's gorgeous so you can do both and i'm but i'm telling you if it feels like right in your spirit to only pick one personally and i would never be like whatever you want i'm gonna actually give you my opinion we've talked about it just like that i've just i've decided okay okay i've decided to me this is naomi at paragon's i don't think so honey her time starts now i don't think so honey restaurants with small plates small plates as the meal how dare you and the fact is they be charging so much for the small plate. You like, okay, that's entree.

And then it shows up and it's like four scallops. No. I want an entree, honey. I don't think so, honey. Made for sharing, honey. We in a pandemic. I don't know you and you don't know my hunger level. I don't think so, honey.

We do things differently at this restaurant. I don't want different. I want to give you money in exchange for food. And I want it to be enough food that you money in exchange for food. 30 seconds. And I want it to be enough food that I walk out feeling like I might throw up.

Yes, that's how I choose to eat when I'm out in these streets. I don't think so, Henny. You know what? I would suggest like four little plates

per person. And that took on me all. 15. How dare you? You, I got to cobble together all four food groups from five different plates. I got to pick up. How dare you? I got to cobble together all four food groups from five different plates. I got to pick up.

How dare you? I just put it all on one plate. We need to get them goddamn kindergarten plates back where you put a vegetable in one hole, you put the protein in another hole, you put the carb in another hole, okay? And that's one minute. I'm really happy that that happened. I'd say I'm happy I steered you that way.

Put the veggies in one hole. You know, I want the plates, those plates back too. I don't care how juvenile that makes me sound. I want the plates like that. I'm sick of, LA loves a small plate.

Yeah, they do. They love everything. Honey, we ain't in Spain. Stop with the tacos. We just went across the street to Danny's Trejo's Tacos. And here's the thing with small plates.

And obviously you order the tacos by the taco. And they're delicious and they're amazing, but this is a read on me there. And they're therefore on small plates. I never know how many is going to satisfy. So what I, what had just happened was we went over there and I ordered two Baja talk, Baja fish tacos and two black and salmon tacos.

And it was too much food. It was too much taco. And I think I should have ordered two and had the guac that we had. Uh-huh. I see what you're saying. Then I would have been okay and fine. Right. But small plates gets you to over order.

That's exactly what they want. But and also too, I think small plates encourages all this like sharing. And I really don't like sharing food. No. Get your hands away from sharing food. No. No. Get your hands away from my food. I know, especially now. But even, like, it's funny, like, even Andy and I, you know, been together damn near 12 years, and it'll be like, okay. He'll be like, can I have some?

I'll be like, you should get your own. Yeah. Like, if we're out and I'm hungry. You two are like this. I'm not a good sharer. Yeah, I'm not a food sharer. And Bowen, he doesn't like that about me. Do you like, are you a big, like, yeah, like, take a little bite?

I will always offer bites to people. I like, sometimes I like- What are you trying to prove? Nothing. I'm offering bites. I'm not trying to prove anything. I just- Are you Mother Teresa, Bowen?

I want to, I want a barter. I want a barter system. Not a barter system. I just go, Matt ordered something delicious. I want to try a little bite and he always just shoots me the darkest what where were we the other day when you were like when you were like you said something like hey can i have a little bit of that and i was like yeah i don't remember but you remember it was mexico city it was mexico city i was like can

i have some of that you And you were like, yeah. I understand, because you had to assess. You were like, okay, do I want him in my plate? If he takes something, will I be secretly mad later? How open am I to this? The thing is... I get it, I get it. I'm a completionist with my meals, where I feel like I didn't have it if I didn't have all of it.

Even if I'm full, I'll eat the whole thing. I don't like to take things home. I like to finish it. So today was frustrating for me for that reason because i left a lot of what was not me on the plate which i hate yeah but also it's like usually when i'm ordering on a menu there are like four things i want so when i picked the one thing that means i picked it and i chose it and i committed to it yes okay so that's Okay? So that's mine. Yes. Yes! You had the same time and same choices.

Right. Right. You know what I will do too where it's like, oh, you want to try some? How about this? We each get our own main and we'll pick something that we can share. Meaning like a third. Yes, I did say a third entree for two people. And then you can each have a little bitey bite. That's sensible. Okay?

But you can't come up in my plate. What you for? You know what else I don't like? My mother does this, and this is really stupid and counterintuitive, but I'll have my meal, she'll have hers, and she doesn't want to eat all of her food. So she'll be like, here, Matt, I want you to have this. My mom does the exact same thing. I say, no thank you.

We've gotten to fights about it. I said, no thank you. She's like, just try it. I want you to have it. No, mom, I have my own thing. You have it. Then it's on my plate. She cuts it up and puts it on.

I'm like, stop. I'm like, and then I have it and it's good. But that's not the point. Exactly. I just, I said no. Imagine your mom doing that, but not even saying, here, have some. My mom. Yeah.

Wordlessly puts, like starts to scoop her food into mine. And I go, mom, have some. My mom wordlessly starts to scoop her food into mine and I go, Mom, stop it! We don't. And me and my sister have yelled and she's gotten upset because she's like, I'm being attacked. We're like, no, Mom. We are telling you. Yeah, but then you feel crazy because you're yelling at her provider.

Right, right, right. We do this every year. Once a year she gets upset that we sort of... It's part of the regression. It's part of it. You're like, I'm an adult, and I said,

no, respect my boundaries. That's what you're mad about. And I'm not snapping. I'm just like, no, thank you. I have my thing. Well, it's really good. I don't doubt that it is.

I believe you. I just have this. Because then, like I said, as a completionist with food, I'll finish everything. And once it's on my plate, I feel like I must eat it. then, like I said, as a completionist with food, I'll finish everything. And once it's on my plate, I feel like I must eat it. Yes, yes, yes.

On assignment. And also with appetizers. They'll be like, Matt, finish that. I'm like, but I want to enjoy my meal. And then they'll say, no, we're not going to eat it. You have to eat it. And now all of a sudden it's this imposition. Yeah.

Because if it doesn't get eaten, it's my fault. Why is it on you? Because I think they look at me like a 31-year-old man who's still like a 16-year-old man. Like, well, he's a growing boy and our son. And our daughter's not going to eat it. I used to always say that when I was younger. I'd always say I'm a growing boy because you never heard the phrase, she's a growing girl. You did.

When it came to eating a lot. So I was like, I'm a growing boy. Yeah. Because I've always had a very big appetite. And I said, I'm a growing boy. Now, do you want to have a platform to talk about Steve and just like that? Yeah, please share. Okay.

Just really quickly. I just don't appreciate the way they did Steve Dirty on it just like that. Okay. Especially given, you know, the canon. Okay. The history of this show. She put him through it for sleeping with someone else. We've also already seen the story of Steve and I don't have sex.

So why that was even the story. Also, why did you have to make his entire character Steve can't hear? That was like his whole character was just like, what? And I said, y'all did his ass wrong. You had him meeting you on the Brooklyn Bridge. First of all, making anyone go to Brooklyn is just true love. You're speaking as a former Harlem resident. Yes, absolutely.

I guess from what I hear, David Igerberg himself pitched the Steve can't hear. I know. Yeah, but you know what? Treat him like just talent. Exactly. He did. Yes yes i did hear he pitched that but also honey it's called a shade okay it's not the entire drawing right okay give

me some nuance did you see the episode where he was flopping around that farmer's market yes see that's what if i had only seen that episode i wouldn't watch more either it was devastating that made me so mad and i was like and he is i just feel like steve is just like a good man who's been out here trying his best and like and it's all like he's so hot you know and you know i love an honest petite man yes and i just felt like they did him so wrong i just felt like miranda what well they tried to they tried to play the audience by making us think he forgot how to finger her i mean also i'm sorry they also wanted me to think that it was not attractive because you know they're in the kitchen and he's

like what and then he like goes to wash his hands and you can tell that miranda's like make it sexy i said absolutely not if there's anything i love after three years of covid it's hand hygiene i want you taking the full 20 seconds steve yes you're gonna go into a mucus membrane of mine chicken wing fingers thank you it's a yeast infection when it's a happen I was like there's nothing hotter than a hand wash to me yeah yeah yeah and they tried to make it seem like and then she gave him

all of like 12 seconds and I was like forget it and I just said honey well Che fingers me with weed resin on their fingers disgusting oh god don't you hate that for a lot of people, Che Diaz is their introduction to stand-up comedy? There are people who think that that's what comedy is.

Change! Evolve! Grow! When's your next comedy concert, Matt? I have a huge comedy concert happening. It's also a pilot. And I'm throwing a big party about it where I have a rehearsed music number.

You should come. It's in the basement of Bowery Ballroom. I couldn't believe it. Detest. Detest. Magritte Surreal. It was Magritte Surreal to watch what happened. Oh my god, I am not a pipe. That's what I say about it.

You know what? What I think is they need to bring Steve back for the second season and Miranda needs to be having a tough time with Che and then Steve is there because, I don't know, they have a thing to go to with their son and Steve brings his smoke show hot

new girlfriend played by Naomi and there are extended sex And Steve brings his smoke show hot new girlfriend played by Naomi. I would like it to be played by Naomi. And there are extended sex scenes where he's laying the pipe. Thank you. That would be the dream. And I would say, who, how did I get you on sale? You know what I mean? You're getting him on the rack.

And I just said, you know what, Steve? You are it. All of a sudden, he's fluent in sex again. He forgot like it was speaking Spanish. He was like, oh, I forgot how to do it. All of a sudden, he's fluent in sex again. He forgot it was speaking Spanish. He was like, oh, I forgot how to do it. He's acting like his fingers, like he hasn't used them in years. Oh, my God.

He forgot how to finger? He forgot how to finger. He did not forget. She didn't give him time to figure out what was what. Pull your panties down. Pull your pants down. You're just going to tell me to put a hand in the front, and I'm just going to know where everything is?

That ain't how it works. No, and of course it's going to be unsexy. You just did the dishes. Also, another miranda maybe it's you okay you suck thank you who's horny for miranda okay whatever whatever they deserve each other she's like you dm me three months ago i don't check my dms you gotta dm me again miranda is nasty she thinks she's always right. She's annoying. Oh, what a fall. A fall. A true fall.

True fall. Well, I mean, whatever. We can talk about this all night, but something about the rational viewer's character blowing up her life like this is sort of, I don't know, a big swing. As big a swing as killing off big, which you have to respect. I mean, if they were going to come back, I guess they know, a big swing, as big a swing as Killing Off Big, which you

have to respect. I mean, if they were gonna come back, I guess they had to do a lot with it, and they certainly did, and like we said, it was a perfect season of television, and we highly await and anticipate the second season to see what SEMA gets up to. Did you watch the finale? No, the finale was... The finale is gonna leave you in a good mood.

You're gonna love the way you look. You guarantee it? Guarantee it. Listen, this was again a perfect episode and Netflix's own Naomi Ekperigan is here and she was an absolute joy to have as always and this is your third time and this makes you a legend.

This makes me a triple threat. Actually, three last culture eases is the triple threat. And we actually have an announcement. Naomi, we would like to give you an award. It's a prestigious Las Culturistas award. And it's the Las Culturistas Icon Award. Past recipients have included Pat Regan, Rachel Pegram, Annie Zonley, and now you. And now you.

You are in the Hall of Fame. That's only the only Hall of Fame I want to be in. Thank you so much. It has just been an honor to grow with you. Thank you. You're actually now ineligible for all other Hall of Fames. So it's good that you said that. Okay, well, exactly.

Thank goodness. Thank goodness it all works out. Remember that time I texted you, Matt, and said, I want to win whatever. Like you were doing like a top 100 or like something, like one of the lists. I want to win whatever like you were doing like a top 100 or like something like one of the lists I want to win put me on the list the last culture

the culture awards came out and she said I want to win and you have to reward that well they're cancelled they're cancelled that's not how it works I said that's actually not how it works but I'm sure and they're cancelled but you have an icon award now and maybe we'll print something out for you,

like a certificate. Maybe we won't. Okay, we will. But either way, you do win. Stand by. Stand by. Well, this was a perfect episode, like we said. What an incredible time.

And we end every episode with a song. Sometimes I run. Sometimes I hide. Sometimes I'm scared of you. And all I really want is to hold you tight. Treat you right. Be with you day

and night. Baby, all I need is time. Bye. I'm Cheryl Swoops. And I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women. And T and I have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby

and iHeart Women's Sports Production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. On Thanksgiving Day

1999, five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami? Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13

to being one of today's biggest artists. I was a desperate delusional dreamer. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one.

I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind-the-scenes stories, crazy details, and honestly, just having a blast talking football. Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all times, from legends to our buddies to current stars. We're finally answering

the age-old question, what kind of dudes are these dudes? We're gonna find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.