Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - “When They Fly, I Cry” (w/ Jeff Hiller)

Episode Date: January 24, 2018

What is it like to meet Ru Paul? Jeff Hiller fills you in! And what is it like to audition for Sondheim? Jeff Hiller fills you in! And what it is like to meet Jeff Hiller? Jeff is a 80s sitcom savant who was in Shakespeare In The Park - that’s how it is! A god damn delight! AND he let’s us know who is allowed to do stand-up at his funeral (is it you? Listen and find out!) ALSO: The Oscar noms are out, so you know Las Culturistas is diving in! Which of course leads the whole crew over the award show deep end - Matt, Bowen, and Jeff explore the Emmys, Grammys, Golden Globes, Tonys, Kennedy Center Honors, ETC. And you think it’s just the award shows? Dead wrong. This is Las Culturistas, so you know Matt and Bo are talking “Divas, Divas, Divas” - Sutton Foster, Jennifer Hudson, Audra McDonald (farting), and more are all “Topical Fish” this time around. Rule #4 Of Culture: “People Don’t Touch ‘A Funny Thing’….” See Jeff in "Bright Colors and Bold Patterns!" Buy Tickets HERE: https://www.brightcolorsandboldpatterns.com/SUBSCRIBE ON APPLE PODCASTS TODAY! CONNECT W/ LAS CULTURISTAS ON FACEBOOK & TWITTER for the best in "I Don't Think So, Honey" action, updates on live shows, conversations with the Las Culturistas community, and behind-the scenes photos/videos:www.facebook.com/lasculturistastwitter.com/lasculturistasLAS CULTURISTAS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASTforeverdogpodcasts.com/las-culturistas Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City are back. I love that. I love that. Oh my gosh. Welcome. And last season's drama was just the tip of the iceberg. You're recording us? I am disgusted.

Never in a million years after everything we've been through did I think that you would reach out to our sworn enemy. We were friends. How could you do this to me? I don't trust her. The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Wednesdays at 9 on Bravo, or stream it on City TV+. I'm Julian Edelman.

I'm Rob Gronkowski. And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind-the-scenes stories, crazy details, and honestly, just having a blast talking football. Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all times, from legends to our buddies to current stars. We're finally answering the age-old

question, what kind of dudes are these dudes? We're gonna find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba?

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or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Cheryl Swoops. And I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women. And T and I have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby, an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment.

You can find us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Look, man. Oh, I see. Wow. Bowen, look over there! Is that culture? Yes! Las Culturistas!

Ding dong! Las Culturistas calling! And we're calling, um, we're calling you all. We're calling all of you. Calling all of you to the center that is culture. Yes. For an important announcement. Oh, please. Are you going to announce what I think you're going to announce? You go first and then I'll announce something else.

Well, I guess the big announcement and the big thing that's going on in our immediate future is we'll be touching down in Orlando in only 13 days. And we will be beginning a journey of a lifetime. And I saw recently a commercial. I saw a commercial for Universal Orlando as well. Was it the one with all the kids being like,

you taught me how to soar. No. You taught me how to fly. Now it's basically like all their kids, the idea of the commercial is it's the kids talking to their parents saying, thank you for putting me on this this earth now let's have an adventure wow it was very very very kind of strange marketing but that's intense they but i'm here we

are going for an adventure so we were sold honey um my my ad experience was very targeted to me it was just like a sexy young couple just going on rides and really it was very aspirational i wanted to be them yeah okay i get that that seems to me more cut and dry when it comes to marketing like you think you're gonna get that not like this like mind fuck about like growing up about being thankful for your upbringing it's like i'm coming i'm coming just chill relax one quick thing i want to announce for the listeners um matt and i are jointly recapping on vulture, not one, but two reality shows. One, we're three weeks into our America's Next Top Model recaps. They're so much fun to write.

And those are, you know, we're taking a very Didion-esque tone to those. And it's fun because, you know, it's such a frivolous show. But it actually deserves a Didion-esque critique. But we're also recapping, and this will come out the Thursday of this week, um,

RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars 3. And that one we write more like the trash that we are. Exactly. We don't use a voice that's not our own.

That one we write as us. Well, they're both our voices. Right. But the Drag Race voices, the recap voice for Drag Race is more kiki.

It's more like, ooh. It's like, sugar children, honey children. Yeah, that whole kind of like language that whole kind of language you guys know what kind of language we're talking about

so please um check those check those recaps out leave a comment if you'd like i think that drives engagement absolutely that's something that those new york magazine people love to engage they love to engage but then they'll see oh these, these recaps have comments. That's actually rule number 17 of culture. People love to engage. Absolutely. So let's introduce our guest. Oh, our guest. I'm very excited.

I'm so excited. This is one of the best. I've loved our guest for years and years and years now. You loved him? I've loved him because he was- You were in love with him? Do you remember that? It gets better. I'm sorry. This is was in love with him. Do you remember that? It gets better.

And I'm sorry, this is like really dating everybody. Oh, I remember. And do you fall in love with him when you watch his, I fell in love with everybody in that video. Oh yeah. Now you're deflecting him.

I felt, no, I'm saying I fell in love with our guest and other people. Polyamorous. It was a polyamory. It gets better. Our guest, it was Chris Kelly.

It was, you know, keep going. Oh, all of them that were so impactful. Keep naming all the impactful. It gets better. Our guest, it was Chris Kelly. It was, you know. Keep going. Oh. All of them that were so impactful. Keep naming all the impactful. Tony. It gets better.

Yeah, so many of them. I think Michael Martin was in it too. Beautiful. Beautiful. Okay, so anyway, our guest I've loved since that day. And then I've seen him on stage, seen him in movies, seen him on TV. Seen him, and I will see him on stage very soon. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Why is that? Because he is, he is the star. Taking the Soho Playhouse by storm. Playhouse by storm. Taking some gay icons by storm.

Oh, surely one of the biggest gay icons has been taken by storm and swept out to sea recently. And swept out to sea. We'll talk about this. We'll discuss it. But our guest is the star of the hit show

Bright Colors and Bold Patterns at the Soho Playhouse directed by Michael Urie. It's such a great show and I can't wait to see him in the lead role of Gary. Here we go, baby. He's about to take Gary by storm. And please help us. It's a storm of a show.

It's a storm of a show and the producers of the show would like us to let you, the listener, know. This is really exciting. That they are now accepting Bed Bath & Beyond coupons to transmute into a discount for the ticket. Knock some dollars off the top with your Bed

Bath & Beyond coupon. Oh my god. Everyone has, it's like bringing a can of Coke to Six Flags. And you know what? You're never sorry you did. You're never sorry you did. You're never sorry you did. Okay. So our guest is resplendent i love him so much please welcome jeff hiller wow how do you feel after all that that was so exciting i kept wanting to talk and i was like don't say jesus christ it's like a roller coaster that never stops going i know i was like is this gonna keep going and now it broke down it's rolling down the back. The whole time I was like,

oh, everyone's gonna be so disappointed when it's me. Wait, are you joking us? Everyone's at home crying and screaming with joy. Crying and screaming, and Jeff, it really, as soon, because Drew had announced that he was leaving the show

for a while, and I was like, oh, that's too bad. It's sad. And I didn't know the show was gonna keep running. But then, but then as soon as you were announced, I was like, show for a while. And I was like, oh, that's too bad. It's sad. And I didn't know the show was going to keep running. But then as soon as you were announced, I was like, this makes 100% sense. I was like, get Drew out of here. Get Drew out of here. Get Jeff in. He can't leave soon enough. Get Jeff in.

I said, this hack, I've been thinking about it. We've got to get him out of there and replace him with Jeff. Oh, my God. And that's when RuPaul decided to go, too. I was talking to Ru. We were talking to rue yeah wait until they replace him and even rue was rue oh i wish i could pull up the tweet because rue had nothing but amazing superlatives oh yeah for jeff saying he was amazing fantastic there

were several different words used that were very um positive okay so first tell us about the show and then tell us about this whole rue encounter encounter. If you can. My Rue counter. The Rue counter, as I'm sure she would abbreviate it to. The Rue experience. It's not really an abbreviation. It's simply just to insert herself into it. Which I am all for. I love it on the show when they're

like, available on iTunes. Which is what I'm about to do right now, right? Plug the shit out of my show. Come on, baby. where can we spend our money it's called Bright Colors and Bold Patterns it's written by Drew Droege who was the actor in it too but now

I'm just rudely writing his coattails and just taking his words and being like girl I'm exhausted I can't write my own show I'm gonna star in yours it's also really really good it's so funny we saw it with Drew and it's in all honesty

it's very very good and you guys have to go it's just like it's just like in all honesty why sometimes do you have to plug things you don't believe in no well let me tell you something we for a long time I'm gonna come out and say this we talked about Warby Parker

I don't need glasses at all but I had to sell that product Jeff that was up to me I was on the front lines you know what that's capitalism that's capitalism

and you know what I'm no better than it no but what I mean is this show is so so so amazing it's so great wait are those Warby Parkers these are not Warby Parkers these are retro super futures

yeah so sorry Warby Parkers? These are not Warby Parkers. These are retro super futures. Yeah, so sorry Warby Parkers. Sorry Warby. Okay, so in all honesty. I was throwing praise on the show. Sorry, I didn't mean to. I shouldn't have distracted you for that. I'm sorry. How dare you deflect. The show is great. It's

super funny and he wrote some hilarious stuff. So it's very good. It's also a thinker. It is a thinker. I love the aesthetic of it. It happens by the pool. In Palm Springs.

In Palm Springs. On the eve of a wedding. On the eve of a gay wedding. Gay wedding. Why does it have to be a gay wedding? No, it actually is. No, it has to. It's intrinsically important.

I don't think it would work without it. Or it could, but it would be a challenge. It could, but it would be a challenge. It could, but it would be another unusual thing. Yeah, right. Now, this is an acting challenge. Wait, what?

It would be another unusual thing. It would just be another unusual thing. If it were a straight marriage, it would be another unusual thing. It would be too much. You know, everyone,

in comedy, it's better to have just one unusual thing. Stick with one. It's actually rule number 79 of culture. In comedy, it's better to have just one unusual thing. Stick with one. It's actually rule number 79 of culture. In comedy, it's better to have just one unusual thing. Now, tell us what's, okay, so before we get to the root counter, the show's great.

Everyone knows how great the show is. Everyone knows that. How has working with Michael been? Have there been any changes to the show? Michael Urie, of course, director of the show. I mean, I wouldn't say there's changes to the show, but, like, you know, I'm a different person. Absolutely.

You know what I mean? Like, I don't want to lay down art on you, but, you know, when I do it, it's a little different than Drew does it. Also, what's cool about Drew is he's like, this part's loose yeah yeah yeah I can see that happening

that's scary if I were to get that sort of directive from someone else's work I would be like oh I don't know I can't

I can't steer the ship that's why that's why Jeff is doing it that's why Jeff is the amazing actor in it and maybe you have some more credits to build before you get that opportunity.

Absolutely. Because if you did, you wouldn't be able to make choices. I think actually I just didn't realize that and I just got sweaty palms. Oh, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, Jeff. Well, guess what? The crushing weight of this opportunity is now coming down on you. You are the star of Bright Colors and Bold Patterns.

No, I'm curious about this. So this role is an acting challenge one would say it's just you from there for a long time you know that you go through a lot now speaking of acting challenges yes we've seen 20 individuals awarded today by the academy that's interesting motion picture arts and sciences are you just saying the actors they're the only ones yeah well the 20 individuals for acting. And we're talking about acting. Because I'm talking to a thespian.

I'm not going to ask you about the cinematographers. Okay, good point. And me. Good point, but the first woman ever. Absolutely. Come on, Ms. Rachel. Ms. Rachel. Ms. Rachel Morrison.

I learned her name. That's great. And guess what? I don't know none of the other cinematographers' names. Just kidding. I know one, Roger Deakins. And he's the one that's supposed to win because he's been nominated 17 times. Is he Blade Runner this year?

Because Blade Runner got like a shocking amount of nominations and I didn't see Blade Runner. I didn't either, but I think it looks like you're, you know, watching a, I don't know. A video game. A video game. Like a sick Miami future video game. But like a real nice one. A real nice video game. Right, right, right.

Which sounds fun. Which sounds fun and, you know, I guess an Oscar makes, you know. An Oscar makes. Well, okay. Sounds fun and an Oscar makes. Okay, so were you going somewhere with the best acting? I'm just saying, you know, how are you feeling as an actor who can look upon this list and really say what's what. Whereas we are just two squawking chickens out here who pretend to know

that we pretend we know anything. Wait, what is the qualification because I'm in a show with only me? You are acclaimed. You are acclaimed. A celebrated actor. Celebrated. You have been on stages great and greater. The big and small screen. Yes.

That's true. And so therefore, as someone who I feel I can truly respect as an actor, let me tell you something, some of our guests. Oh boy. Oh my goodness.

Some real hacks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hear that. Couldn't give you a line reading. Couldn't give you one. No, I wouldn't accept it. No. I'd be like,

get out of here, Rachel Bloom. If this were the Jeff Hiller Awards, who would win the acting category? Yeah, what's going on? Like, when you look at these categories today, are you gagged for Octavia Spencer? Oh, you're saying because she didn't... See, I already listened to your episode last week.

She didn't do anything. She didn't do anything. A thing all doodah movie. Agreed. And I think you said it the most, where most of her lines were just, Eliza! Eliza!

Yeah, it was nuts i heard that like look i mean you know what y'all she plays the game she plays the game she certainly does but see we're rewarding her for doing the same thing which is playing you know this caretaking person in this in a period piece well you know what that's what she gets i know but i just we all know she can do more she can do do better. But did you like that movie? Because I loved that movie. I liked the movie. And I heard you guys being like, I'm just, I'm just.

You were like, I'm about it. And I'm about Three Billboards. I can't. I'm less than fat. I'm actually. You're bad. I'm disliking Three Billboards.

That's like the last one I have to watch. I still haven't watched it. I don't know if I will. You should. I know I should. But here's the thing with should. It's like, okay, maybe this is my I Don't Fix a Honey at Half. You should have since you voted in Demo Awards.

I did. I voted for the awards and I didn't see three awards. So I'm not like on the Frances McDormand train right now. But I guess I should be. She does a brilliant performance. I'm just not. I'm sure. And I actually don't even mind Martin McDonough.

That was some faint praise. I don't mind him. I don't mind him. But I found this script in particular to be like, I don't think he understands race in America very well. I think he's a little, not a little, he's way too blunt in a lot of these things. And also like, there's some contrivances in there.

That I will not spoil, but I'm like, are you serious? No. Yeah. I mean, and look, every single movie up there has those this year.

Like even, um, contrivances. Yeah. I mean, well, contrivances. Isn't that just what a movie is?

And also things in a movie where I'm like, that's a bad part of the script like for example I think that Get Out should win best screenplay but there's a scene towards the end

where he is packing up spoiler alert for Get Out he's packing up to leave they're panicking and he's like we gotta go now and

he finds the door of the closet open and he somehow walks over there and goes through a box and sees all the pictures of her with her black boyfriends and the girlfriend. I was like,

what made him just walk over there and go see that? You know what I mean? There's things like, little things like that in the script where it should have been. You could also say that that's a poor direction choice too. That too, that too. Which, by the way, was the same person, but still. A hundred percent. Maybe it's just, it could have used another eye.

Although I do believe. First feature for him, though. First feature for him. Brilliant. I do believe that Allison's character does sort of go over there and like mess with a couple of things as they're packing. It feels very, you know, some slight version of Deus Ex. It's also a horror movie and like you let it, you let it happen. Also, I don't think they were writing it like, let's write it really tight because it's going to be under scrutiny because it's going to be up for an Oscar.

Right, exactly. You know what I mean? It's not like why get out. Yeah, they released it a year ago. Yeah, it was a long time ago. January. Also, now that I'm looking at... January, a time when you bury movies.

Yeah, exactly. Which is so odd because it's such a gem. But you know what I bet? I bet they thought, well, it doesn't matter how good it is. People don't see these kinds of movies en masse. So put it out here where like it's niche audience will see it and get on with it. Yeah.

But they thought it was going to be a niche audience. They thought it was going to be, you know, not everybody, but it was everybody. It was everybody. What were you going to say? What was I going to say?

Nothing. Well, let's talk about the root counter. You were jumping around. I'm, I, we were on this path we're gonna jump back we were talking about the root counter and i'm jumping around it's really

me that's jumping around you have to understand i had a coffee and a half today and so now i'm a killing machine i'll uh i'll uh scrawl johansson and lucy you know what i mean yes wow yeah that's me like 100 of your brain. A hundred percent. I could take those glasses right off you and switch it out. That was the movie where she was like just all hips and tits. She was hips, tits, and a violent attitude. Yeah.

Yeah. Good for her. Um, the Rue counter. So this, for everyone that doesn't, might not be, um,

up to date about this, uh, on Twitter, RuPaul posted a lovely picture of Jeff and Ru and a glowing review now did you get to talk to RuPaul for an extended period of time

you guys the RuCounter was everything I wanted it to be and we keep hearing that it is do you know what I mean? you know like they say don't meet your heroes and all that business? They do say that. RuPaul could not have been more wonderful, kind, beautiful, amazing. Go on.

Explain. So what happens? They bring Ru to you. Yes. They say, you sit here. They told me they were like, somebody's going to be in the audience. And they were like, I normally wouldn't tell you this, but he's requested to sit in the audience and they were like I normally wouldn't tell you this but he's requested to sit in the front row

oh my god leg room you had to know beforehand yeah yeah yeah and I'm glad they did tell me because there was I don't look in the front row because I'm I'm acting yeah of course you're not focused on them

you're not focused on them. You're focused on the piece. Focus on the piece first and foremost. Servicing the word. I want to honor the text. But I did. I said something and I heard that giggle. You know, the one that's like on the

bumpers. It's on the bumpers. The world famous one. Oh my God. It was, I was like, oh crap. I was going to say, did it terrify you or did it fill your spirit? Or both. It was like, this is so exciting. Don't mess up. Yeah.

Like that mean voice inside of you. You know what though? I bet you could have reacted to that because guess what? Everyone else in that audience heard that laugh too. And they're like, we all know that RuPaul is here. You could have been like, it's true. I will say once I realized where he was sitting,

I did notice like a lot of people being like, you know, just like hard to the right. You know what I mean? Not looking up at the stage. Yeah. Looking up. So Ru's in the front row.

She's in the front row. She's loving it. Who's Ru with? His husband. His husband. Come on, his cowboy. Yeah. Looking up. So Rue's in the front row. She's in the front row. She's loving it. Who's Rue with? His husband. His husband. Come on, husband. His cowboy. Yes.

His rancher husband. They live in Wyoming? Yes. I think Montana. Montana sounds better. I don't know if that's really true. You know why Montana sounds right? Because Montana is right.

Yeah. I'm making it sound like I'm way closer to RuPaul than I am. Well, I don't know. Let me text him. Text him. So he's enjoying it. Did he laugh throughout? Yes.

But you know, it is that one thing though. Okay, so at one time, there's no way to tell this story without having a little brag in it, okay? Give the brag. Jeff, you've earned it. You know earned it it's actually rule number 100 of culture give the brag that's an even hundred that's how special a rule it is that other one was only 17

I was like that's really high on the list you'd be shocked how arbitrary completely 150% anyway I one time auditioned for Stephen Sondheim oh and he was looking at me like with such like just this really nice gaze or whatever and then like two weeks later that Sondheim documentary came out on HBO yeah yeah where somebody asked him like know, when you go to see a show, you must know that people are watching you watch it.

And he's like, I don't think about it so much then. But I really think about it when people audition for me. I just make every single one of them think that they're the best. Oh. And I was like, oh. I'm sure it was very good. That means anything. and I was like I'm sure it was very good that doesn't that means anything

that means you were either actually great or he just you still got to audition for fucking Stephen Sondheim it's so true what did you perform what did you perform in front of him one of his tunes yeah

of course which was which one I'm calm from a funny thing happened on the way to the forum wow it's a deep cut people don't touch a funny thing people don't from a funny thing happened on the way to the forum Wow it's a deep cut People don't touch a funny thing People don't touch a funny thing That's rule number four of culture

People don't touch a funny thing happened on the way to the forum Oh wow That's not true it was just revived in the 90s and it ran for like six years I mean they had what's his face I think that rule works two ways And then Whoopi Goldberg replaced Really She played Pseudol two ways. Nathan Lane and Nathan Lane. And then Whoopi Goldberg replaced. Really? Yeah.

Didn't they have... She played Sudalis, like the Nathan Lane role. Didn't they have George Costanza, the odd actor? Jason Alexander. They had Jason Alexander in it? Probably. Comedy Tonight. Comedy Tonight! Remember Jason...

It's not that deep a cut. It's not that deep a cut. No, I know it. I know it. But you were going to say... Remember when Jason Alexander was in the Whitney Houston and Brandy Cinderella? Yes. That's what I was going to say.

He was the father. Sure. And he had a toupee, but it was like... Bad? Yeah, it wasn't like a... It was like still... It was like a balding toupee. Yeah, it's impressive that his hair is like...

Did you see that documentary about Merrily We Roll Along? No, I didn't see that. Well, he's like in one scene talking to the camera with no toupee on and then in the next scene, unexplained in a different interview, straight up full toupee. Not even a toupee, it's like a wig.

Like a wig. Yeah. I mean, I think... I thought it was kind of great. I think it's... You know what? Yeah. That's just like... He's changing his look. It doesn't matter. It's drag. I think it's, you know what? Yeah. That's just like, he's changing his look. It doesn't matter. It's drag. I just peeked so hard, HPJ threw up. Jason Alexander is a drag performer.

He is drag. He has the wigs. He's got plenty of wigs. Oh, Marilee. Marilee's a sad show. I need to be better. I'm like a Sondheim basic bitch. I know like

Into the Woods Sweeney Todd That's a lot But merely We should all revisit Because it's in It's the show Within a show

In Lady Bird You know what I'm saying Yes And it's like It's like kind of deep too Yeah Because it's about It's about friends who

Wait Am I explaining this correctly It's told backwards It's told backwards So and it was originally told You've got to see this documentary. I really got to see it. You'll fall in love. I will.

I swear. Everybody go see this. It's called, I don't know why I'm pointing at you so hard. I felt like maybe this is a thing where we have to ET touch in order to really get it. Do you know what? That's so weird. I do feel like I really get it now. That's fun.

That's so weird because, anyway. Why is it weird? Because I just watched ET and I had this flashback memory. That's why you did it. That's so weird because, anyway. Why is it weird? Because I just watched E.T. and I had this flashback memory. That's why you did it. That's why you did it. It was in your heart because you know that the way

Elliot and E.T. connected was through their fingers. It's rule number 68 of culture. The way that Elliot and E.T. connected was through their fingers. And you wanted to emulate that. What a rule to follow. You have to follow it follow we'll explain it all

in the book that's definitely coming um the best worst thing that ever happened that's what it's called the best worst thing that ever happened merely because people shit on merrily sometimes i don't know that they do i think they do well i think it got really bad reviews when it opened and then now people have like a cult um following you know which always happens it's like always it's like people who are like i don't even like hamilton and then you find out like oh you haven't seen him yeah you just don't like that other people like hamilton or like you listen to three songs on the soundtrack and like didn't immediately get it right like that's the thing with hamilton now it's people

are just like people that are like hamilton anti-Hamilton they're like fuck that they listen to one thing and they think oh this isn't for me but it would be for you it's wonderful yeah you see Hamilton no I can't afford to see Hamilton I work off Broadway I know I know surely you have a connection that's how that's how we someone can get you in there to see Hamilton I don't think so I think that they can I believe that they can okay you in there to see Hamilton. I don't think so. I think that they can. I believe that they can. Okay, you know what? Listeners, flock to Bright Colors and Bold Patterns. Use your Bed, Bath, and Beyond coupon so that Jeff can buy 10 California king beds

that he can then sell to buy himself Hamilton tickets. I know. Yeah. I've heard there's a role in it for me. There's a wonderful role in it for you. Like in the 13th tour, you know, once they've run out of power gays. King George? Who's doing it now?

I don't know, but Jeff would be an amazing King George. You'd be so good. Oh, my God. What do we think of, did you see it with Groff? I did not see it with Groff. I saw it with some guy who was in Book of Mormon. I do love me some Groff. Rory O'Malley?

Yeah, Rory O'Malley. It might have been Rory. I saw it with Rory as well. Rory was wonderful. I was I do love me some Groff. Rory O'Malley. Yeah, Rory O'Malley. I saw it with Rory as well. Rory was wonderful. By a second, I love me some Groff. Okay. So let's get back to the Roo counter. Yeah, okay.

So Roo sees the show. Yeah. And then does he announce himself backstage to you? Just give us the- So he enjoys the show show and then you're to wait there. No, I mean, I just went to my

dressing room and changed and then he came to my dressing room. I don't know. This seems too simple. I don't believe this. He flew. He flew.

There, there. Now we go. So he came and then you guys just had a Okay, so talk about the encounter because when you say

that it lived up to everything that he wanted it to be I find that to be very very difficult to you know to meet that expectation is so hard to meet especially with someone like Ru do you guys know what I'm saying you guys are looking at me like I'm crazy no no no I mean look

you don't want anything to go wrong and I will say that like my two that I want to meet were always rupaul and and oprah you know what i mean so it's like it's real hard to to have it happen it can be hard okay rupaul hugged me and it was like a 30 second hug you know it wasn't just a quick one oh boy and and he said you need to know you made that audience fall in love with you. Oh. And that touched me.

That touched me. You need to know. And then he told his husband, George. He was like, you didn't say anything. And I was thinking George was going to be like, oh, yeah, it was fine. Whatever. You know, like I'm being told I have to do that. And he was like, no, it was fine.

And he didn't say no, it was fine. He was like, it was good. And then he was like, actually actually what i really enjoyed was and he said this like beautiful incisive and not incisive insightful and so i always mix those two up yeah and um i don't know and then like our producer was like can we please take a picture you know so we want to like yeah that's out there because you know i would never you couldn't you know you don't want to be the the jerk who's like i have a picture but of course like i so desperately want a picture the real housewives of salt lake city are back

welcome and last season's drama was just the tip of the iceberg. You're recording us? I am disgusted! Never in a million years after everything we've been through did I think that you would reach out to our sworn enemy. We were friends! How could you do this to me? I don't trust her.

The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Wednesdays at 9 on Bravo, or stream it on City TV+. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. Guess what, folks? We're teammates again. And we're going to welcome you guys all to Dudes on Dudes. I'm a dude, you're a dude, and Dudes on Dudes is our brand new show.

We're going to highlight players, peers, guys that we played against, legends from the past, and we're just going to sit here and talk about them. And we'll get into the types of dudes. What kind of types of dudes are there, Gronk? We got studs, wizards. We got freaks. Or dudes dude. We got dogs.

Dogs. We'll break down their games. We'll share some insider stories and determine what kind of dude each of these dudes are. Is Randy Moss a stud or a freak? Is Tom Brady a dog or a dude's dude? We're going to find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty, and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll. This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13

to being one of today's biggest artists. We talk about guilt, shame, body image and huge life transformations. I was a desperate delusional dreamer and the desperate part got me in a lot of trouble. I encourage delusional dreamers. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer and the desperate part got me in a lot of trouble I encourage delusional dreamers be a delusional dreamer just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer

I just had such an anger I was just so mad at life everything that wasn't right was everybody's fault but mine I had such a victim mentality I took zero accountability for anything in my life I was the kid that if you asked what what happened I immediately started with everything but me it took years for me to break that like years of work listen to on purpose with Jay Shetty on the

iHeartRadio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts trust me you won't want to miss this one on Thanksgiving day 1999 a five-year-old boy floated alone in the ocean. He had lost his mother trying to reach Florida from Cuba. He looked like a little angel. I mean, he looked so fresh. And his name, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere. Elian Gonzalez. Elian Gonzalez. Elian.

Elian. Elian Gonzalez. At the heart of the story is a young boy and the question of who he belongs with. His father in Cuba. Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. At the heart of it all is still this painful family separation.

Something that as a Cuban, I know all too well. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, as part of the My Cultura podcast network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I don't know. He was like, yeah, let me take it. And he was like, oh, how about this? We do it through the, and he like art directed it and he was like, let's do it through the mirror so we get the light but also like,

and then he was like, okay, I'm going to tell you when to look up and you just pretend like you're laughing. Is he taller than you or shorter than you? I think kind of the same height.

Same height. Wow. Beautiful. Just very tall. Just very tall. And this would be two tall icons meeting face to face. Tall icons. And expressing to, what did you say to Rue?

Yes, tell us. Did you express anything to Rue? I said, oh, I saw that Oprah interview you did, and then I did this with my fingers to, you know, insinuate. That you had clawed at your face. That you were clawing your face. That I turned into the ring that you would try to get to your own bones and he was like thanks he goes oh yeah it

was great i don't know he didn't say yeah my conversation with oprah sure oh my god oh my god and then of course you guys parted ways But not before you exchanged numbers and home addresses. Okay. They invited you out to Montana. Yeah, right. Somebody did text me and they were like, did you go out after? And I was like, why are you asking me that question? I don't think Rue goes out.

I know. And you know who else doesn't go out? Me. Joe Miller. I'm exhausted. Yeah, after the show? No. No.

After the show, it's time to go home he came to the Saturday night show that starts at 9 oh my god oh and what does it go till 11 not quite

yeah 10.45 but you have a home to go to how's Neil I do can we talk about Neil on this of course what if he was like

no I don't know Neil though has is putting out this great new art project on Instagram where he's writing his thoughts on these index cards. Oh, my God. He's going to be so thrilled that you know about that. I love it.

Oh, he's like a big fan of yours. I love Neil so much. See, the thing about you two is, now this is going to sound like a read, but let me finish this. Oh, my God. I would love to be read. I need it right now. I've had too good a day. I want to think about something all night.

I went back and was listening to podcasts from your old podcast, and I listened to Abra's, because you know, Abra's my new friend. I mean, we were... Anyway, blah, blah, blah. It's like on Real Housewives when two of them start to get real close. Yeah, exactly. We're doing that. We're getting really close. You're Erica and Kyle Richardson.

And she asked you, too, about your origin story. Yes. And so I heard it. So it was really interesting to me. And here's the thing is that you were, like, talking about this time in college when you were auditioning for improv, and you were like, oh, yeah, you took a class?

Oh, you took it with Ben Rogers. That was just a throwaway question. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But in my timeline, I'm like, wait. Yeah. He was a freshman in college, and he took an improv 101 class. With Ben Rogers. With a person who came up years after me.

Years. You know what I mean? Like, I probably taught Ben Rogers. You know what I mean? Oh, my God. That's funny. Well, yeah, that was 2009. I took it.

Right. So here's, this is why it's a read. Okay, that's funny. Yeah, that was 2009. Right, so this is why it's the read. Okay, here's the read. I moved to LA in the fall of 2011. Which I remember, and this was before I even knew you, that was this mournful thing. It was like, Jeff Hiller's no longer in New York. Oh, that's so...

Yeah, I remember when that... Well, when I left, I hadn't heard of you two. There you go. That's the read, that's the read. That's the read, that's the read. I didn't know from you two. That's the read. That's the read. I didn't know from you two. I didn't know. There it is.

It's on the table. I'm so happy. But then this queen comes back. Well, I was doing long distance, so I came back a lot. But I came back and I was like, I got to plug in to the scene. What's happening on the scene. Exactly. And everybody was talking about Matt rogers and bowen yang

there were no gays when i was around okay i was the that's actually true isn't that interesting though like honestly like you were talking about those it gets better videos before i was like literally they got every gay sort of even sort of gay person at the time to get in that room. And it was like 16 people tops. And like now there's like too many of us. It's true. Now we're the man.

Get them out of here. We're the man. We run shit now. No, just kidding. Please don't come for us. We're institutionalized. We're in the institutions. We are.

But it has been super hard for me, though, because, like, it is, like, not hard, that's not the right word, but it is, like, it's a real, like, mindfuck. I get it. I get it. I do get it. Oh, but you are very comfortably established, I think. Is it?

Yeah. Well, it's not so much, like, I feel like, oh, no, they're all, but I am, like, oh, wait, I am the old person who has to reevaluate what is progressive. I used to be the most progressive person in the world. I know what you're saying. Wait,

what I just said is problematic or whatever. Oh no, yeah, it's part of it. No, as Oprah would say, to quote Pima Chodron, you already have what you need. Wait, did you just quote Oprah quoting Pima? Yes, quote Pima Chodron you already have what you need wait did you just quote Oprah quoting yes yes yes via Pima you have everything you need

there's there's nothing to you know but this fix what he's doing with his hands right now is some sort of like like Middle Eastern dance okay see that's problematic yeah I know but you know what i don't care oh my goodness well listen jeff i mean okay and i and i think i've even listened to you talk on other podcasts about this and there's there's one really funny there's one really funny story that you that you tell about um you know being like the only gay person in your improv groups back and just having to come on, having to do a scene with where, you know, it was about a man wearing a scarf. And then you said, yeah, and I played the scarf.

But I feel like, you know, like I just feel like it's always it's always just a little. It's it's scary to sort of break that ground, especially in like back back in back in the day was even more sort of homogenous than it is now like I will say this I I think that like for us because there weren't super a lot of gay you know improvisers and actors like on the UCB stage or that we saw at all right when like I always like imprinted on like you and then like later on like Aaron and you and Mike Kelton and these people that kind of just made it look fun. Brandon Scott Jones.

You know what I mean? You guys, for us, I think it was the first time it was like, oh, wow, this can be fun for us too. And I think that everybody can feel like that when they're not on the inside, which is to be white and straight and kind of look the same. Because I even think it's white, straight, brown haired guys. Not a lot of white, straight blondes.

Like skinny but with just a gut that's barely perceptible but when their shirt comes up you're like, look at that gut. Yeah, when they decide to dress up nice for hell and night you're like, I would. And then later you're like, no, maybe not. I'm going to go home, I think. You know, it's kind of like that.

But seeing... Those poor guys. Yeah, you know. It's unfair, but whatever. It's true. It is unfair, but you know what? It's true. Yeah. The thing is, like, now that we kind of like are performing regularly and people can

see us, that's nice to think about. You know what I mean? Like it is kind of nice. And I do like to remind myself of that. And you are doing your own thing, you know, like that's, that's also like, I feel like putting the gay thing aside, just like people in 2003 and 2004, we didn't, we thought we just had to be on a herald team and now people are like no you have to do a podcast what is your podcast exactly you need a podcast and a muppet has to ask you about it exactly and it has to be just you acting like yourself

yeah but the thing is it's crazy because it's so stupid and true. People think that's what, or they think it's that easy, and then some people do tell them that's what they need to do, and they think it's good advice. But I'm not trying to crap on that, because I do love that people are creating their own things.

Of course. And I wish I had, this is so embarrassing, but I wish I had thought of that. No, no. I wish I had known to do that. But also, deeply, deeply, deeply, like, for us, it's like, imagine being talented enough to just book something

and, like, start to work. Like, you are a legitimately talented actor. Yeah. You know what I mean? Imagine actually succeeding in the traditional ways like Jeff has. Exactly. I saw Gravita Water, and you were the actor, not the improviser. I was like, that's how you know

a bitch can take a script and make a choice yes yes oh my god i saw you do gravid water with tammy sager at dcm last year and it was a delight yeah of course it was it was fun of course it was gravid water for those of you guys out there who don't know, is a long-running show at UCB that you should check out where one improviser who doesn't know what's about to happen, obviously, is paired with an actor who's prepared a scene from a published text, like a play, and the actor just does the scene and the improviser has to just react to it and go along and the actor never strays from any dialogue in the scene.

So it's very fun. It's really funny. And at it regular at it but has transitioned over to the scripted side oh yes I started at the scripted side really and then I was like I can't remember in those lines anymore can you just let me improvise unless you do it once are you good at I mean obviously you have to be pretty good at it but is was learning line line something that you have to think about? Or is there something that comes naturally to you? Normally it's nothing I have to think about.

Even I did Shakespeare this past summer, and I didn't even have to worry about it. I just learned it in the room, you know what I mean? But then you get this, and it's literally 27 pages, like a term paper written. It's not like in Final Draft 27 pages. It's just like a Word paper written you know it's not like in final draft 27 pages it's like it's just like

a word document 27 pages long you have to remember every yeah single space you have to remember every single line in tiny font

yes in six aerial font it's so small you had to get out a microscope and learn those lines like they did in Shakespeare

wait we didn't talk about we didn't talk about Shakespeare in the park we didn't how was it Get out a microscope and learn those lines. Like they did in Shakespeare. Wait, we didn't talk about Shakespeare in the park? We didn't talk about it. I haven't even talked to you off the air about this casually. How was that? It was great. How was the park? How was the park?

The park was streaming. Do I have to hold that for you? Yeah. You know, I can't think of a better place To do midsummer Than the park New York City The weather in New York is bad That's what I've decided

Like There's three months of the year Cumulatively That it's like Kind of okay And the rest of it is bad You're uncomfortable Yeah

You agree I will say Like When you're Okay I've done it Three times in the park And the first summer Yeah. You agree. I will say, like, when you're... Okay, I've done it three times in the park, and the first summer I did it, Love's Live, You're Lost,

it was the hottest week on record. And I was like, this is... Not okay. Yeah, this is unlivable or whatever. Yes, yes, yes. You know what I mean? But then this last year I did it. It wasn't so bad.

And when you're in it at night, once you're past tech, there's, nice breeze oh the beautiful breeze and you see like somebody's wig blow in it yeah and it's like makes you want to cry that's lovely it makes you a little wig in the wind that's the title of this episode the wig in the wind Felicia Rashad had, yeah. And it would blow, and she looked like this earth goddess. Yes, and you know it was nothing to her. No, yeah. Well, she didn't get it herself.

It's a drop in the bucket. No, I bet she brought her own stuff. She's like, I'll bring my own costumes to this production. That is such an ancient Felicia. I shall bring my own. Yeah, to me, she's a thousand years old. And always has been and always will be. She has the wisdom of an ancient.

As I've said many times, the greatest of all time Felicia Rashad performance is- At the dinosaur- At the dinosaur attraction in Animal Kingdom. At Disney World. In Disney. Disney World or Disney Alien? Disney World. At Disney. Disney World or Disney Elite? Disney World.

She portrays the head of the Dino Institute. Uh-oh. And she's like, welcome, welcome. And there's something she says after that, but. It's really good. Yes, yes. That's weird because she wasn't even on a Disney property. No.

No show. I think they just scooped her up. Sure. She was a free agent. Yeah. They saw her in Raisin in the Sun and they were like, we need to get her.

I wonder if they do a lot of research where they're like, oh, she appeals to our demo of children. Yes, Cosby. But then also she appeals to all the gays that come. She does a lot of theater. I mean, I think I literally squealed and I was like a 12-year-old kid.

It wasn't like me now. It wasn't like, oh, yes, Felicia. It was like me as a 12 year old, like, oh, mom, Felicia. She's like, oh, my God. This kid's gay. Cool it, Matt. Cool it. Shut up.

We're in Florida. Oh, my goodness. Katrina. Katrina's a bigot. One time we were at a funeral my mother oh Katrina's your mother Katrina's my mom

and I called her a bigot just now my mother has taken has gotten the piss taken out of her on this podcast and I don't like it oh Katrina

I haven't done this you have called her a bigot Henry my ex-boyfriend came on this podcast and he blasted my mother with an I don't think so, honey.

For not teaching you how to recycle. For not teaching you how to recycle. It's just ridiculous. This woman is a goddess. And so now I'm going to blast her on the pod. So we were at a funeral one time. It was like her best friend's mother had passed away. So we were sitting towards the back.

I'm with her and she goes, they were doing the body of Christ, you know. The Eucharist. The Eucharist. She was like, I don't think I'm going to go receive the Eucharist because I don't go to church regularly, you know. She kind of whispers it to me. And I was like, I mean, I'm definitely not going. And she goes, I mean, if you go up there, this place is going to burn to the ground. And then we laughed a lot and somebody turned

around like really crying it was like like it looked at us like why are you laughing and we were just like we're sorry sorry we're joking about how you know what honey i don't think so okay i don't think so honey people crying during a funeral shut up i just think if you can't tolerate a little laughter in the funeral What is the point Of living Honey guess what That is what it's about There's no catharsis

If you're not laughing honey My My funeral Better be A HBO comedy special Cat Williams Yes Who will outlive you

I want him to say The final words Wow That's gorgeous Who would you have performed stand-up at your funeral i would say this is real because we will hold you to yeah no no no no in the next five to ten years this is binding who would perform stand-up at my funeral yeah i'm i'm blanking i'm gonna say um angela johnston the the the racially problematic

Mad TV cast member and she could do her Vietnamese nassal on dick which is actually she does it so well that I think she gets a free pass she does it well what about you who would you stand up at your funeral like

Jacqueline Novak oh wow beautiful she's kind of like she's she mixes the the you know absolutely yeah I love that expository sort of you know writing aspect of it the humor yeah and she would like notice things that were happening within I was about to say church but it's probably going to be like under tree or something. Right, right, right. Let's take it out of the church. Mr. Hiller's funeral. She'd be doing bits about the twigs and stuff. Look at this twig. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Exactly. Mine would be Kathy Griffin. Oh, see, I was going to say Kathy too. Kathy Griffin doing only Clay Aiken bits. That's fun. So let me tell you about Clay. That's gorgeous. It does feel right. It does feel right.

It does feel right. For both of you. Kathy for both of us? Yes. Yeah. Well, at our joint funeral. Yes, joint funeral. I always say I'll be the last thing Bowen ever sees.

Yes. Okay. Now let's ask Jeff the question. Yes. This is the question that we ask every single guest that quote unquote rolls through is what the kids say our studio to record the pod uh this question is as follows what was the culture that influenced you growing up this is uh when did you decide culture is for you this is your moment to answer that question when When did you decide? You opened the closet door and there it was hanging

perfectly. Next to your favorite scarf was culture. And you took that culture and wrapped that around your neck instead of the scarf. And you kept it on forever. What was that culture for you? He's like, shut up. I wrapped it with the scarf because I love to accessorize an accessory.

Perfect. Okay, so, and I know this is going to be hard to believe, but I was a bit of a flamboyant child. You seem scrappy to me. I guess, oh, really? Like, you know, like you'd be a kid who did play a sport and was very good at it. To fly under the radar.

But also gay. gay no you're absolutely wrong like so profoundly wrong like not even like even slightly right speak on i was forced to play sports sometimes they would say i remember they were like we're gonna give you a 25 cents if you win a game and then they were like we're gonna give you 25 cents if you win a game. And then they were like, we're going to give you 25 cents if you make a basket. And then they were like, we'll give you 25 cents if you rebound. And then they were like, we'll give you $5 if you go.

Oh my God. What sport was that? What do they make you do? Basketball. Basketball's tough. Basketball's physical. It's not. Like you said, I'm tall.

I was always tall. I bet they really wanted you to be good at it. And my dad is not someone who gets angry at all, but he would always be like, just hold your hands up. Just hold up your hands and make sure they don't throw the basket, the ball into the basket. And I was like, I'm so tired.

But my hands are so gay. That was in parentheses in his mind my son's got some gay hands or something it's all gay except for he doesn't say the word gay what does he say how's Neil aww

he's nice he's nice but he's not one's nice yeah yeah yeah but he's just he's not one to talk really about anything right you know it's not his business quote unquote

yeah I don't even think it's that political I think like he doesn't ask my sister about her life either he doesn't fucking care which in some ways is nice

oh my god y'all came for Katrina and now you're coming for Raymond Raymond poor Raymond don't worry Bowen's parents will be roasted soon they will be they will be Oh my God. Y'all came for Katrina and now you're coming for Raymond. Raymond? Poor Raymond. Don't worry. Bowen's parents will be roasted soon.

They will be. They will be. All right. So what I was going to say is so because I was so gay I didn't have a lot of friends. I didn't really have friends. And where was this?

San Antonio, Texas. You know, bastion of liberalism. Of course. They love all people. The Alamo was the site of the biggest circuit party in the world. Gay orgy. Gay orgy in the world. Okay.

It was? Stupid joke. No, no, no. But can you imagine? It'd be lit. It was a poorly thought, poorly conceived joke. Because it would also be a protest by nature, which I love. We know there's no basement in the Alamo, so you know there couldn't be a sling hanging

in there. Absolutely. Who be a sling hanging there. Absolutely. Who says a sling has to be below ground? I think it's a thing. I think it's legal. In Texas, it actually is. Oh. Are there many basements where sex parties happen,

or is that just something of myth? I think it's just convenient. There's no windows. You don't have any windows. You don't have to paint them black. I didn't know about that. Apparently, there's a sex party that happens in Park Slope. Under the co-op. Under the co-op.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Crazy, huh? Like, on the produce? On the produce. Right there by the produce where I do the orgy. It starts about 1231. Oh, yeah. Do it right on the bok choy.

Yeah. I would love a bok choy orgy. That sounds nice. As long as it's on the bok choy. I would love a bok choy orgy. That sounds nice. As long as it's not baby bok choy. As long as it's not baby bok choy. That is problematic. That's sick. That's sick.

Sickos. Sickos. So anyway, I'm sorry. So I used to come home and I would watch TV from 3 p.m. until my bedtime at 10 p.m. Seven hours. Yeah, and my mom would sometimes be like, only one hour a day. And I'd be like, uh-huh.

How did you get to seven? She wasn't very strict. I know. Well, she was going to college. There was a lot happening. She was getting hers. Yeah, she was getting hers. So, anyway, I can tell you,

I know all sitcoms from like 1980, because you know we watch it in syndication, so like from 1980 to 1992, I can tell you, I'm at encyclopedic knowledge. Of American sitcoms. Yeah, do we wanna test that? I guess Cosby was big for you. It was.

Yes, it was. Yeah. It was. It was huge for me too, actually. Oh my God. Three's Company? Big fan? I wasn't such a fan.

I mean, don't get me wrong. I watched all, you could quiz me about trivia on Three's Company. I'll get it, but you know what? And I know this is controversial.

Yeah. It wasn't until John Ritter. Okay. You know, his son is very cute. I know. I worked with him once. He's a cutie.

Wait, which one? The one who plays in oh yeah i worked with the other son oh i didn't know there was like a more handsome ritter besides to me velma uh velma ritter oh we did that thing wait with the little lip sputter uh no no we did that show where i i played velma Ritter oh my god what wait I don't remember this well that Cole Escola Aaron Jackson show you played Thelma Ritter in that that was the that character was named Thelma it was yes yes oh my god oh my god Jeff Jeff was Jeff okay so this was a show that Cole Escola and Aaron Jackson wrote called Thicker Than Water. It was all about Eve meets Blackfish.

And it was just incredible. It was so good. It was so good. And Aaron Markey was incredible, and you were incredible. So were you. I mean, I was just playing bit parts here and there, but Jeff, I got to, Jeff played Thelma River. He's an extremely talented actor.

You played Thelma River. You guys have to go see Jeff. So anyway, but okay. Go see Jeff. We're talking about, oh, we're talking about Time at Three's Company. Yeah, well now that I know he's an encyclopedia of sitcoms of that era.

What was your favorite? Yeah, all time fave. You a Facts of Life kind of bitch? Well, I love Facts of Life, but you know what I was really into? And this sounds like a cliche, but I was super into Golden Girls. Oh, yeah, of course.

Hardcore and early adopter. I'm not talking about the lifetime. Sure, sure. Also into the nanny. Basically female-led sitcoms. Designing Women. Designing Women. Designing Women is one

I don't have a vocab for. We missed that window. It's because, you know why? It's not in syndication as much. Yeah, it didn't play on Nick at Night. That's where I saw everything was Nick at Night. Exactly. Remember when, what's her name, Dixie was on Desperate Housewives?

Yeah, Dixie Carter. Dixie Carter was a guest star on Desperate Housewives. Oh, yeah, she played Kyle MacLachlan's mother. Yes. Yeah. Ouch. And it was big. My choir teacher was freaking out.

I was like, this woman is important, apparently. Yeah, there was a lot of actresses like that. Like Leslie Ann Warren was Susan's mother. Yes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's like her whole career now is like playing mothers. Like fun moms on TV shows. Yeah.

She was on Will and Grace. I think they all had famous mothers come through. They did. But Leslie Ann Warren was really robbed of like a much fuller, richer career, I think. Do we agree? I think probably, yeah. You watch Clue and you're like, who that person? I know because you think like, oh, she's just got this shtick, you know,

like she does in Victor Victoria with like, oh, you know what I mean? But then you see her in Clue and you're like, oh, you're playing this like saucy lady who's like, I know what it is. I know what I'm doing. I'm owning my sexuality. Yeah. I totally forgot about her being in Victor Victoria, but she was playing this like Marilyn type.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think she got nominated for an Oscar for that. Yeah, she totally forgot about her being in Victory of Victoria, but she was playing this like Marilyn type. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think she got nominated for an Oscar for that. Yeah, she did. She was incredible in that. Oh, I love Victory of Victoria. I said I think. I knew. So are you an Oscars kind of guy?

Oh, yeah. Do you listen to that Little Gold Men podcast? No. Oh, no. Oh, but that sounds right up our alley. I don't know why I'm plugging it. It doesn't need any plugs. But wait, no, this is a question

because this is Topical Fish. Do you like the- Topical Fish is Topical Fish. Do you like the Topical Fish. Topical Fish. Do you like the nominations this year? Well I was really thrilled that Jordan

Peele got nominated as director. I was super thrilled that Greta Gerwig got nominated. Absolutely. I think it's cool. I think it I think

what's like the reason I have been like geeking out on like reading all this stuff and listening to podcasts about the Oscars and stuff is because it is such a weirdo year. It's a weird year. And I like that. I remember that year when it was like, everybody knows Alicia Vikander is going to win.

So boring. They tell you exactly who's going to win. And you're like, well, why do I watch? Right, right, right. And you'd think they would want it to be suspenseful because it has people watching more. You know what I mean? I remember that one year, the one year I really checked out of it,

I think, was the year Slumdog Millionaire won everything. I was just like, oh, and I feel like that happened and happened and happened and happened and it's just like, this year is the first year where it's like,

oh, okay, well, these movies have been being talked about for a while and there's a lot of them so I'm going to see a lot of them. Are you only an Oscars person or do you like

all award shows? I like them all. Yeah, me too. Here's my question for you because I think this is interesting. I found that I'm not as much into the Emmys

anymore because I literally know half of the nominees. It's weird. I have to say this. And you'd think it would be thrilling but instead it's just like

It's too close. That's my former student winning an Emmy and I'm sitting at home eating popcorn well who was the weirdest one for you to see get up there Donald or no Donald was weird Rachel yeah Rachel uh Ellie Kemper yeah right Aubrey Plaza wow I mean like that's weird it's yeah it's crazy I will say for me it's like when it feels like it's not too far away, it's harder to engage with it. Like, literally, like, a lot of the writing for Late Night. Right. There's almost whole staffs of that where I'm like, oh, that's, like, my peer.

You know what I mean? That makes it feel kind of like, ugh. So now it feels like the Emmys are something else. Like, when I was in high school, I used to find out what tapes they submitted and I would like watch them all and I would like say, well, you know, so Marsha Cross submitted this tape

and that's more competitive than what Felicity Huffman showed because she submitted the pilot of Desperate Housewives and she ended up winning. It was just like all these things. I loved that. I loved like when it felt like strategic in a game and not about me

and about these like iconic women because that's really I only care about the actresses me too but now it's funny because it's like several of my peers and people that I can even call friends have literally won these things in the past few years and it's like that's weird and it makes it

kind of it's kind of a mind fuck because you're like this thing that used to be something that was aspirational to me is now like in the ether. I know. But it's still fun. And will always be aspirational. And I love the dresses. I love the dresses. And you know the Emmys are super fun.

The Emmys are super fun. Obviously the Golden Globes are incredibly frustrating and I don't care. But I think the Emmys are great and I think the Oscars are great. The Grammys I think are a little bit stupid. Well because it's not about the awards it's about the performances for the Grammys. I think.

And it's about just record sales. And now it's gotten so weird where you know that you have to put on some sort of iconic performance that people are like doing these weird things where it's like what are you doing? What are you doing? Why are you whatever?

Like from a fan or whatever it just i just don't believe that anything in music aside from a few things are really worth extraordinary mention right now like i don't like and so because it's just because everything is so just vast and like democrat right well now music is so specific and so like niche and so because you can have spotify where you can listen to whatever you want. And so it's like the idea that we're all on board for this one album is pretty wild. It's strange. Unlikely, yeah.

And I think you're right. It is because there's so much music. Whereas on television, you can still kind of play this game because there's only so many things on television. And that's why the movies are even better. Exactly. They really narrow it down for you. I mean, it is so weird when you find out where you're like, that could totally be a year that Lady Bird would have just been completely unnoticed.

Yeah, sure. But many years. Yeah. And Get Out. But yeah, this is such a weirdo year post-Weinstein. No one really knows what this aftermath is. I woke up this morning and I actually watched them at 8.30. I just had my alarm.

I got rolled over and watched them and then went back to bed. I was disappointed when they were coming out because I think I got used to a world in which Get Out and Lady Bird were going to get nominated. And I got used to a world where the two of them could be directing nominees. And I was a little bored with the nominations because there was no big fun shake-up nominee like Tiffany Haddish or something. I wanted something crazy like that. But then I was thinking about it later and I'm like... Leslie Manfield?

That's kind of a shock. There you go. I was like, I'm certainly not going to be disappointed in an Oscar year where movies like Get Out and Lady Bird are up for Best Picture. That's pretty fucking cool. But you've gotten to the point where you were just expecting to be mad if they weren't nominated.

Exactly. I was just kind of like, I really want just that, I don't know, you're never going to get what you need. Even on Oscar night, people are going to win and then it's going to be fucking over. Is what you're saying that there's such a low threshold for

a great, or such a high threshold for a great Oscar's nominee list? Well, yeah. You're going to be disappointed no matter what? You're going to be disappointed because there's literally only so many possibilities. And you've been told them all and seen every possibility roll out. So you're never going to be surprised and blown away because that's just not how this works. You're just fixated around the whole thing yeah and i think what i'm saying is i'm not able to enjoy what a special year it is because i'm so used to talking about this and you've been reading and listening and all year deep exactly like so the

fact that get out got nominated for best picture which literally six months ago would have been the gag of the year we just got used to it and now it's happened and we're like, cool, but it's very cool. It's a huge deal. It's huge. I mean, Jordan Peele being nominated, Greta Gerwig being nominated,

them both being nominated. The fact that they pushed out, you know, two other old white dudes, you know what I mean? Like, that's cool. Things are changing.

It's happening. Yeah. Yep, yep, yep. There is uproar about it. There's demand for it. I was going to say,

I don't know if you agree with me. I think the year that things like the sea change for me for oscars was when hurt locker won over avatar that was when it was totally oh now it's like actually it's exciting again yeah it was like oh people vote for the best thing yeah yeah and like last year with moonlight i personally actually this is a little controversial, but I did like La La Land more than Moonlight. I just liked it more. But the fact that so many people were passionate about Moonlight

and then it won, I was like, there you go. That just goes to show this can happen. You don't, wait a minute, you were more into La La Land

than Moonlight, but you don't know a lot about Sondheim? No. I do know a lot about Sondheim? No. I do know a lot about Sondheim, I think, in terms of your average person. Okay, okay. But I'm just saying I don't know merrily.

You know what I mean? I know every word to Sweeney Todd and Into the Woods and all the bigger ones and Little Night Music and things like that, but I just don't know merrily. Right, right, right. It's good.

It's a good one. Okay. You don't know like barely right it's good it's a good one okay you don't know anyone can whistle I know that I mean I saw I saw Sutton

one time perform with Raul Esparza anyone can whistle and she was like and I think I whistle and I was just like this woman is a freak she's a freak

you've seen her perform live yeah oh boy you don't like she's amazing no i literally i saw her do i think i didn't understand no yeah sometimes i could have gone either way i was honestly like no but she's genuinely she's truly incredible um i will say like i think i've said this before on the podcast um but i saw the drowsy Chaperone when it was in previews. My family went to the city.

It was like 2006? We were like, let's see this. My mom was like, I heard that Sutton Foster is very good. She had won a Tony for, I think, Thoroughly Modern Millie. And she was opening this new show, and no one had talked about it. And it was the cheap one on TKTS. And we went and saw this show in perfect seats. And it was like the cheap one on TKTS. And we went and saw this show in perfect seats. And it was unbelievable.

And you would have just left that theater thinking, well, that was really good. Too bad no one's talking about it. But then it was so big at the Tonys. People love it. It's like this cult hit. And she did that number. That was kind of what made her a star.

Oh, unreal. I mean, seeing that live, I think I even said at the time, I'm like, I think this is the most talented person in the world I was like this is a real performer one hell of a costume designer so I may tell ya Sutton herself she made her own stews

Felicia brought her own wig and Sutton brought her own dresses she's like I thought I'd bring my own things I heard that she was a teacher at NYU oh yeah I remember the people who were in her class bring my own things. I heard that she was a teacher at NYU. Oh yeah, I remember the people who were in her class were just insufferable for the longest time.

It's true. Because she was already famous? Yeah, she was famous. This was right after Anything Goes. Yeah. This was like 2010. She was established at this point.

Yeah, for sure. But this is, I guess, 2010, 2011. And some of our friends were acquaintances. When did you graduate?

2012. From NYU. We can't help it. Six years ago. It's been a while. So we knew some people that auditioned. Well, everyone auditioned for her cabaret. She was coming to NYU to teach a cabaret.

And at the end of the semester, it would be performed at Joe's Pub. It was a really cool opportunity to be directed by Sutton that was a very cool musical director as well. It was all to Rogers and Hart music. She was doing it. This is why you go to NYU. We all get excited about dumb

stuff in college but yours actually the stakes were pretty big. It was pretty cool. Like 10 people got this opportunity. Right. And a few of them were our good friends. And, um, they said that like she, sometimes I think it was like in the beginning of when she was directing things, cause it'd be frustrating cause they'd be like, Oh, I'm really having trouble connecting to this material.

And she would, her, her advice would always just be like open your eyes extra big and listen with your heart and it was just like bitch what are you talking about I'm trying like I don't know what

this word means like it's not about my heart I don't think she's like try it open your eyes as wide as they'll go

that's someone who's just a natural talent who like doesn't know how to communicate she's like just do it babe you have talent and you make the talent show.

Hold on. Let me do a backflip. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The best is when you... Just open your eyes and flip that back. Flip that back. Open your eyes

and do a seven minute tap dance bridge and then it goes... I don't want to show up. It's just insane what she does. Sorry, Joe. So wait But then The best though

The best most revealing Tony Awards moment I've ever seen Where I was like That bitch Was Tony's at the Kennedy Center Honors No no no

Tony's Of course there have been So many of those moments At the Kennedy Center Honors But specifically This is the Tony Awards Audra McDonald Was performing a number

From 110 in the shade Yeah I remember that one And she does an aerial flip Audra or was performing a number from 110 in the Shade and she does an aerial flip. Audra or Sutton? She does Audra. Audra McDonald. What? Who you would think just stands and delivers, honey. Did a flip on stage.

Go look it up on YouTube. That is insane and delicious. She sings Fancy. Fancy from 110 in the Shade. When she was in Shuffle Along and she did that tap dance. Yeah, she's a secret beast. Yeah, that's really, like, it wasn't like, you know, like, no shade, but like, you know, David Hyde Pierce dances and you're like, oh, yeah, he's moving.

He's learned to dance a little. She was like in the pocket. Yeah, in the pocket. No, I mean also not talking about Jonathan Groff again but he did like a tribute to Sutton

and did the whole anything goes number and he also could dance the whole thing. I'm like how can you be this good at all things? Yeah, they're probably not good at something.

What do you think they're not good at? What's the thing you think Audra is shady at? Algebra. Audra? Math.

Straight tone. I know know i think that is the one thing is that is that like a fair criticism you could level at audra is that like just just she doesn't do pop straight i think she doesn't do pop audra can you just put it in the mask no can you just put it in the mask oh my god wait i'll tell you what's a real gag too have you heard um on spotify they have this it's the concert version of dream girls oh yeah with lilias white that is so funny that you're like it's on spotify yeah i had the bootleg baby okay mama heather headley though heather headley as Laurel. I know. She's so good, but that...

That wasn't a part for... I mean, it also wasn't a part for Audra. I know. She's like singing like Dino Jones. I know. It's just like there's this scene where Lilius White as Effie's like, she can't sing like I can. And Audra's like, she's right, I can.

And the audience laughs. They're like, ha ha! Effie, we all gotta pray! That's why we all gotta pee! That's why it was weird that Beyonce was Dina. I thought Beyonce was a great Dina. Beyonce was a great Dina because in comparison

to Jennifer Hudson, like, just the volume of her voice, it felt smaller. I think she made herself smaller. But then it's so funny how she couldn't help herself on listen.

It was like, oh, all of a sudden she's a lion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think she probably like rationalized it being like, well, this is inside Dina's head. Yeah. Or the feelings that she's actually getting.

No, she's actually amazing now. Yeah. Like if you heard it on this record, it would not sound as good. But in her harp, she could sing F sharp. But also, aren't you just like, I want Beyonce to sing listen right? Yeah, yeah. I think in just like, I want Beyonce to sing, listen, right? Yeah.

I think in this song, I should slay a full belted C. She should sing as Beyonce. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I get it. At least she didn't break out

into like a really fierce dance too. Yeah. It was just like, became the club. Yeah. And then Jennifer Hudson comes back and you're like, eh,

we don't need it. Matt is really, has always been just notably harsh on Jennifer Hudson. I know. it's because I lift her up the highest. She's got some dead eyes.

She's got some serious dead eyes. She does. She does. She's been through a lot. This is prior to her having been through a lot, honey.

Even prior to that, she's been through a lot. Yeah, even before American Idol, she'd been through a lot. That was her whole arc. Yes. The struggle. But I will say that in that Sex and the City movie, it's like,

put this poor woman out of her misery. Yeah, she could literally take her out back. Let's rent a bag and put it over your head. It was awful. It was not even passably good. It was like they should have just burnt the whole film. Her arc was, yeah, that she literally got a bag. Louise from St. Louis.

Louise from St. Louis. St. Louise. Oh, my God. Oh, God. But I will give them this. They had Jennifer slay that number. All dressed up in love. All dressed up in love.

Cool in the summer Warm in the winter I remember the trailer for that movie was the first time I heard that Jay-Z song you know like where Alicia Keys is like

Oh for Sex and the City 2 Yeah yeah yeah Oh for Sex and the City 2 and I was like Where They Leave New York I was in LA and I was listening to that song

and I was like Oh my god it's so beautiful Please we were back there and probably like literally fighting a rat in the street Oh it's true it's so beautiful please if you were back there you'd probably be like literally fighting a rat in the street oh it's true it's true now that I'm back I'm like it's not beautiful at all no it's the worst it's bad here I have to put toner on at night

and it comes off like just a dark gray cloud oh no do you do a face mask yeah I love a face mask I've never done one but last night I put some cream under my eyes cream you know what I'm gonna do after we That's what you did you put some cream What was it like half and half

It was body butter am I using it wrong Wait did you use lube on your face Yeah I put some KY in my eyes You put body butter on your face The perfumes are too much You're supposed to put body butter on your feet I feel like That sounds good too

You know this is what I do and it's a little like You're supposed to put body butter on your feet, I feel like. Oh, that sounds good too. That sounds really good. You know, this is what I do, and it's a little like, maybe the way I'm going to describe it is going to make you feel like a little bit of a heave in your tummy. I love it. I like, before I put on the sock, especially a wool sock for the day, I just lather on the thickest layer of Vaseline on my feet. For what purpose? Because I like how dewy and soft my feet feel

after I take it off. That's insane. Awful. But I'll tell you this. They can't smell good after. In this show, no, they smell great. They smell great.

It's unscented. Okay, but in the show, you're wearing sandals. Well, no, I'm barefoot at the very end, and I'm so nervous that someone will see a cracked heel. Oh, my goodness. Jeff, no one's paying attention. They absolutely are.

Are you telling me if somebody was- Some people look at feet, they do. If somebody was up on stage and you saw, don't you always pay attention? Even if the show is great, aren't you like- I'm not fixated on it. Aren't you like, oh, when they lifted up their shirt, you could kind of see their belly or whatever.

You're always doing that. I will tell you this. I never look at feet. I never notice shoes. I do, I'm tell you this. I never look at feet. I never notice shoes. I do. I'm guilty of this. When someone's performing on stage, I am very conscious of their butt.

I'm always looking like, what's their butt doing? Male, female. I always, I just. You mean you want to see if it's rattling anything out? No, I'm always like, what's the butt situation on this performer?

Isn't it just amazing to think of Audra McDonald farting? Like, mid-show. I've literally never thought about her farting before in my life. And now I just thought of it intensely. It's like in college when somebody's like, Jesus masturbated. And you're like, Jesus masturbated. You know what I mean?

Oh, my God. Imagine having that argument, whether Jesus masturbated or not. That's like a very Christian camp argument. Oh, sorry. I went to Christian college. Okay. So did you have that argument? And what was the, who won?

Yeah. So what are, what are the, what's the evidence behind this? Well, it's just that, you know, he is both human and divine. So the idea that if you are human, you would have sexual desires and blah, blah, blah. And also like, is it a sin to masturbate doesn't say spirit says it's sacred oh good for masturbation yeah she said that in her diane sawyer interview she's like i feel like it's kind of sacred and diane sawyer said what and britney was like actually wait i'm confused did she really that's actually literally what happened she's like oh

wait hold on i don't think i meant to say. Was that when she was saying like I'm a virgin and stuff? Yeah. Remember that interview where her eyelash fell off? No, no, no, wait. It wasn't. It wasn't. Is that so weird?

It was after Justin Timberlake had told the world that he fucked her. And Diane was like, so we heard actually maybe not so truthful. Was this the- It was like very slut shaming weird.

Was this the interview where she like broke down and cried? No, that was with Matt Lauer oh that's where her eyelash fell off yeah that was that one she was not in a good place and not in a good position

poor baby but I also was like who put her eyelashes on that they fell off from a blink some Louisiana makeup artist are you a Britney fan um

yes but not like um yeah I'm not like a super fan. Right, right, right. But like I, I know. Do you follow her on Instagram? No. It's something. Somebody just told me you should follow Catherine Zeta-Jones.

My friend Jen Harris. That sounds scary. That sounds intense. Like she'll like post a thing where it's like a refrigerator just completely full of ice cream. And she'll be like, my friends bought me ice cream. Oh my God. I need to see that. Oh my God.

Klonopin dream. Oh, that poor thing. Is she? Okay. Yeah. So Matt and Matt and my friend Dave have this, have this joke in one of their shows about how like,

you know, to conjure up Catherine Zeta Jones's essence, you would just need Klonopin. You need a black cat, a courtroom, Klonopin, a whip, and a solid eye. A dark, smoky eye. And then, poof, you put that in the cauldron and you get Catherine Zeta.

You know what? That's someone else who's been through a lot is Catherine Zeta. Yeah, absolutely. Look, they've all been through a lot. I know. But she's now open about how she has bipolar, I think? She definitely is out and proud about... Not out and proud, but she's now open about how she has uh bipolar i think she definitely is out and proud about i'm proud but she's she's taking away the stick come forward about being bipolar and

yeah it's important and we have she was also i think she's rather friendly with michael douglas because she was on stage with kirk douglas at the they're still technically married oh are they married yeah i can't follow that shit well yeah. Apparently he's doing some interview to get in front of some accusations about inappropriate behavior. Right, right. Of course. Yeah. Well, another one bites the dust.

Another one bites the goddamn dust. The goddamn dust. Now. She looked well at that award show. She did. She was wearing a nice see-through black. I got to tell tell you in Chicago she slayed it.

She slayed it. I watched that movie so many times just for that but I can't do it alone. She made it as good as it was. I think. When she just walks up that fucking balcony. Oh my god. And you know what? I think my first public performance

of queerness was to gather my 8 eighth grade friends in my living room and perform the Hot Honey Rag for them. The Hot Honey Rag. As the movie was playing in the background. Talk about a deep cut. Oh, I loved it. The Hot Honey Rag. That was when I knew. My dad wouldn't stop talking about John C. Reilly in that movie.

After we saw it, he was like, he was unbelievable. I was like, okay, wow. The fuck? This is what you grab from this movie? They could have cast a better Amos. John C. Reilly? Oscar nom. Oscar nom.

I know, but that's a rising tide lifts all boats situation, I think. I thought they could have cast a better. Straddle off. It was just like, fine. They could have cast a better Amos. I think so. I was like, Queen Latifah, it's like, you know she was the fourth choice. She was!

I think they actually did say they tried to get Bette Midler. Of course they did. She would have been amazing. They were doing the movie of Chicago. They tried to get somebody big and bawdy. Although, you got Roxy, you got Velma, you got Billie.

Those are the big three and then they nailed it for all three of those. You know, remember when Renee Zellweger was huge? I loved her. Still do. Look, oh, I made this comment.

I loved, I really appreciated Lucy Liu's cameo in Chicago because it is completely implausible for an Asian woman in the 20s to be like that wealthy. That wealthy. And that assimilated. And that, speak that, what a fun fantasy. be like that wealthy. And that assimilated.

And that, speak that, what a fun fantasy. Speak English that well. And yeah. But they also wouldn't have a jail cell in the 20s that would be interracially mixed either. Sure, sure, sure, sure.

In a way, it's weird that Deidre Goodwin was there too. Yes, I do. I'm just saying, I loved the touches of... I loved what she was wearing. It was like necklace. It was so gorgeous.

It was all diamonds. It was gorgeous. Rob Marshall had his chance to be Ryan Murphy and I don't think he did. Yeah, he really did. He didn't nail it. What was his big misstep after Chicago? Memoirs of a Geisha. But then didn't he direct something? Nine as well. Which I actually enjoy.

Yeah. You like Penelope Cruz? Yeah, but you know I saw the revival on Broadway and Jane. Miss Jane. Yeah. She came down. I cried. You know what? I cried.

When people fly, I cry. When people fly, I cry. That's going to be the little quote, right? When people fly, I cry. You know when Annie Potts little quote, right? When people fly, I cry. When Annie Potts... That's beautiful. I'm saying Annie Potts. It was Andrew Martin, but I didn't see the original cast. In Pippin, and, you know, she goes up,

which, by the way, I hate that grandma number. I'm always... Because, you know, I saw it as a kid with Martha Ray. Guarda la luna. Exactly. Sophia is dying as she sings it. Guarda la luna. I'm talking about in Pippin. Oh, shit. When they made Annie Potts fly,

which Andrea Martin did it first, but I started weeping. I could not stop crying. It was so gorgeous. It's a beautiful image. It's like when Beyonce grabs the hook and then flies over to the B stage. There is not.

The B stage. Yeah, that's what it's called. The B stage. There's no A stage in the B stage. There's no A stage in The B stage. Yeah, that's what it's called. The B stage. There's the A stage and the B stage. There's the A stage and the B stage. And she's like,

Halo! And she flies and it's true. It's breathtaking. That is breathtaking. She is a breathtaking performer. There's nothing like her. And they were like,

you're going to have to be, we're going to fly you. And the script is all about flying and stuff. Oh my God. And they were like, you know, we'll go to Broadway

and so it'll be better on Broadway than when we do it in the regional thing and then they were like so okay actually we're not gonna fly you're just gonna hang you and then they were like okay you just need to be rolled on in this cage it was so disappointing oh no how far it fell what they thought their budget might be compared to the reality is staggering there. It was. I don't get theater. I don't understand the money.

Like, how does it happen? It's got to be crazy. But do you want, you never wanted to do theater. You were always a TV filmy person. No, yeah. I mean, we both kind of like,

well, his journey is different than mine. I got involved in like comedy through doing sketch in college. So it was never about like, we performed, I performed live and I'm a live performer, but it was never about like, we performed, I performed live and live.

I'm a live performer, but it was never about theater for me. It was always about comedy. But I just think theater is the most, is, is, is the most risk inviting thing of, of all of, of all of the mediums. Yeah. Right. I don't know. When RuPaul came, I realized i had skipped an entire

like 10 minute chunk and i was like oh my god i skipped the whole thing about ways what did you do what did you do i i was like rupaul is here you need that you need that piece of information for later so i just put it in i knew knew there was a non sequitur moment. And so I just put in that. Wow. And then I went to the non sequitur again. And I almost shit my pants. Oh my God.

Yeah, that's horrifying. That's very scary. Dang. So is that one of the top moments of line forgetting you've ever had? Yeah, because like I said, every other play I've, you've ever had like, yeah, because like I said, every other play I've done, I've had like six lines. So like if you,

you know, this is all, this is just you. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God. But it was really stressful. Although one time I did,

I was in that same show where I was supposed to fly. um, my mustache fell off in the middle of my song. And, um, so I made a joke about how my mustache, you know, I improvised. It's a joke about how my mustache you know i improvised yeah it's a gift and you know the crowd also looks really hard to get good at it too right

thank you i did just so everyone out there knows yeah you're not just something i you're not the sudden foster of it just open your eyes no i i listened to that improv in my heart and i said a joke about the mustache and anyway because they all laughed and I was like riding so high off of my improvisation, I completely forgot my lyrics. Oh. You know what? That was probably worse. Sometimes you service a joke over the music, over the lyrics.

Sometimes. Sometimes. All the time. Each time, mama. Each time. Okay. So I think it might be time to move on to I Don't Think So, Honey. So listen, and

actually you must do our next live show. Oh, you will. I want to. You will. We want you to too. So I'm happy that that's on the table. Just so everyone knows, we've reached out to Jeff multiple times. Twice, and I both times couldn't do it. Because he's been doing Shakespeare in the Park and some such, you know,

nonsense. I love your shoes. Thank you. What kind of shoes are these? They are Bruno Madri. He just took off his shoe and it reeks of Vaseline in here. Well, they're very cute. Bruno Madri? Yeah, you know where I got these babies?

Where? ASOS. Nordstrom Rack. The best. Hashtag resist. Hashtag resist. Nordstrom rap the best hashtag resist hashtag resist so speaking of resisting

this is I don't think so honey where we step forward to resist something in culture if you will that's bothering us

entirely yes so this is where we take one minute to get on the clock and just really pick something apart in pop culture

yeah would you like to go first? I think I could probably go first. Something has consumed my life and I'll explain. Oh, I know what this is going to be. This is Matt Rogers' I Don't Think So Honey. His time starts now. I Don't Think So Honey to all my friends

who watched Real Housewives and didn't tell me how good it was. Because now I have to look like an idiot getting involved in Real Housewives literally a decade late. This just happened to me how good it was. Because now I have to look like an idiot getting involved in Real Housewives literally a decade late. This just happened to me with Project Runway. I'm literally 10 years late on trends, and I don't think so, honey,

the fact that it's also blending into my clothing. I've just now discovered unbuttoning, buttoning a flannel all the way up to the top. Apparently that was a trend like a while ago. Listen, all I know is I'm literally obsessed with Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I'm going to specifically call out Suti Green, who I always thought the one classy thing about me over her

was that she likes trash reality TV. And meanwhile, here I am. I love trash reality TV. Now, you people should have just gotten me involved in it before. As my friends, you are cultural influences to me. And to fail me in this way, I feel is damning. It's damning. So I think that, I don't think so, honey.

All of you who kept me from Erika Jayne, I literally can't stop watching the expensive music video. And that's one minute. Have you seen the video Expensive by Erika Jayne? Yeah. I can't believe. How long have you known about it years it came out like a year ago

it's taken too long she hasn't been on that long right it's her like third season I think or fourth season but she popped oh my god I just recently got into it I watched like the last two seasons of New York

and then I wanted to watch Beverly Hills because I watched the last two seasons of New York, and then I wanted to watch Beverly Hills because I'm so fascinated with Erika Jayne, so I started with season six when she started. But now there's a lot of flashbacks to this crazy-ass Brandi Glanville character, who I must know what that's about. She was married to somebody famous. Eddie Cibrian.

And then he cheated on her with Miss goddamn Leigh-Anne Rimes. Oh, no. Which is the gag of the year. Leigh-Anne her with Miss goddamn Leigh-Anne Rimes. Oh, no. Which is the gag of the year. Leigh-Anne. Right. That Leigh-Anne Rimes is a homewrecker. Because they were in like a made-for-TV movie together. Yes, they were.

They fell in love. Not unlike Miss Brad Pitt and Mr. Angelina Jolie. So I'm starting. Which I did on accident, but now I don't want to change. At Matt's recommendation, I'm starting with season six, I believe, of Beverly Hills. And it hasn't stuck with me just yet. I'm still on that first episode. It doesn't stick with you.

It becomes a part of your life because while it's on and you're doing dishes and things around the house, you realize you know these women. Okay. And all of a sudden, you know how when you're doing things in your life and you picture yourself as someone else? Sure. You know that thing of when you're doing things in your life and you picture yourself as someone else? Sure. Like, you know that thing of, like, when you just see a movie or something and then the lead character of that movie you like and so you picture yourself as them in your mind's eye? Okay. Does that ever happen to you?

Okay. Yeah. Well, I'm Kyle Richards. And I've been Kyle Richards for a few days now. And I'm also, it's so sad, I'm Lisa Rinna. I'm Lisa Rinna. I'm Lisa Rinna. I'm Lisa. All right.

I don't like the conflict. There's too much conflict for me. I'm a real people pleaser, so it's really awkward for me to watch. So what do you watch? People sitting by the beach or something? You know what? I don't like the conflict because it's real, like, manufactured. Yeah, it's completely produced

it's completely produced but also the things about it are like so deep it's like hi um i'm so sorry but did you tell everyone in this city that i have an eating disorder it's like never small it's always like you told everyone i have munchhausen syndrome a disease in which you make up having a disease to get attention. I really have Lyme disease. It's like so specific and insane. So apparently what they do is they'll just like have two housewives

like, you know, catch up over drinks and they'll have them just sit there for hours and talk about everything. Yeah. Every possible topic. And then the team of producers will just be watching and then they'll write down on little note cards like the topics that they'll have talked about,

put them on a cork board and be like, actually, can I have that for this episode when this happens so that they connect these? I mean, it's like this- It's genius. It's so engineered and it's wild. And I just just it is just sort of architected in this way that just

makes me feel uneasy. What bothers me is when like in order to get a plot point started one of them will just say I received a text with a picture or like someone told me this and it's like who? And then you realize it's absolutely a producer

or totally totally they'll just like have like that little part will just be in adr later and you can absolutely tell that they were like oh we need this to edit together so so you know at least i've ended up can you say this shitty thing exactly so she's like in a studio being like hey can i talk to you for a second about you know yeah adr adR in reality shows is the most ironic. Anyway, I'm really enjoying it. I think I have one. Here we go. This is Bowen Yanks. I don't think so, honey. His time will begin now. I don't think

so, honey. Magicians who reveal their secrets. I was working with a magician today on set, and he just spilled all the beans, and it, honestly, it felt like the last nail in the coffin of my innocence. I, it really broke the illusion completely. And I had no respect for this man.

He was wonderful. He's a very talented magician, but he just had no hesitation about telling, telling me all about the card tricks, all about the coin stuff, all about this one trick where he turns a bubble into a glass orb. It was 30 seconds. He's an incredibly talented magician.

Um, I won't say his name, but he just, I think he just felt like there was, you know, a rapport, a connection, and so he just let me know, and you have killed the child inside of me. 15 seconds. And I just had, I'm a new uncle

and just to have that inner child murdered just as my niece is born is truly tragic. And I don't think so, honey. Magic the Magician. That's his name. Magic. One minute.

He's very talented. His name is Magic the Magician? I think it's an alias, of course. And he murdered your inner child just as your niece is born. Just as my niece was born. That's the beginning of the movie about this. Was your niece born today? My niece was born today. No, she was born. That's the beginning of the movie about this. Was your niece born today?

My niece was born today. No, she was born on Thursday. She's a beautiful young girl. Ellie Weiss. I'm going to get her a onesie that says Ms. Weiss. Excuse me, Ms. Weiss. I love referring to the baby as Ms. Weiss. When she starts crawling, just be like, okay, Ms. Weiss.

You crawl. You better crawl, Ms. Weiss. You better learn to chewiss you crawl you better crawl miss weiss you better learn to chew i see you miss weiss um but yeah i'm i'm one of those people now who posts baby pictures and it's not even my baby it's it's wild i i hope i don't fully slip into that my two best friends now have nieces and i feel that i must care about children now and it's exhausting it's a lot okay Jeff you don't want what were you gonna say well then I was like well should I make that money and things it but because whatever you'd like okay I don't I feel like um I feel like I should try and make mine something about promoting the show. No, no, no.

We can do that after. Hey, you know what? Fuck the show for a second. Okay, okay. Just let the show drop away. Just forget the show. Okay, okay, okay. Let's get real. Okay, okay, okay.

Now let's get that on the mic. You know what? I'm just going to say it then. This is going to be mine, all right? Okay, this is it. This is Jeff Hiller's I Don't Think So Honey. I'm so excited. His time starts now.

Okay, I don't think so, honey, because if you see a baby in your Instagram feed, all you have to do is move your finger like this. Up, okay? It's not that big of a deal if you see a freaking baby or a freaking dog or a freaking cat. They're adorable and they're lovely,

and I choose to follow all of them because there is something that's inside of me that's a little bit dead, and that warms it up, okay? I happen to have a cat Instagram, daily underscore Beverly follower for really cute cat pics okay and i don't think so honey bright colors and bold patterns at the soho playhouse is playing four times a week starring me jeff iller replacing drew drogey and also you know what if the people like to show pictures of their animals or their

babysits because that is the external portion of their love inside of their body. And so they have to bring it up to everyone else. And for God's sake, come see the show. It's not only serious. It's also hilarious. Hey, you guys still have some time. Five seconds. Oh, you know what else I think?

Just double tap things. It's not hard. You move your finger. And that's one minute. And that's one minute. I agree. I think that people should just like. People should just like. Or swipe. It's not that big of a deal. What move your finger. And that's one minute. I agree. I think that people should just like. Or swipe. It's not that big of a deal.

What's your problem? You don't want to hear about it? Well, I have to say I manufactured a little bit of my anger, but I do think I do think what's the problem? Scrolling a little faster.

I know, you're right. Or just unfollow, honey. Exactly. Exactly. And like, I love hearing that you love your niece. Like, that's so nice. I think that teaches me so much more about you than some sort of like framed, you know, like,

you know, like deciding like, this is how I'm going to project my life. Yes. It's like, you know, RuPaul came to see me. No, that's beautiful. But posting a baby pic is the most earnest thing you can do on social media, just short of posting, you know, a meal that you're eating. Yeah, that's a culture rule.

Yes. Number 75. Yeah. The most earnest thing you can do on social media is post a baby pic. Come on. The most earnest thing you can do on social media is post a baby pic. Come on. The most earnest thing you can do on social media is post a baby picture. I really love that I shoehorned you into having to say that. You know, here's the thing.

It's not that I don't like the babies. I'm sure if I saw them, they'd be wonderful. But the other day, someone handed me a photo of their baby, and the baby was in different costumes. And I was like, I got to tell you, it's the same baby I just saw in the other costume. That's so funny because I love a good costume and I especially love a baby in a wig.

I love a baby in a costume in person. Yes. I love a three-dimensional baby. You love a 3D baby. That 2D baby. Ooh!

That's so weird because I went to a birthday party last night and we put the birthday boy in a lift and he was like, oh, something's under my seat. And he held up just this humongous cardboard cut out of a baby face and he just put it out the window and drove away with this huge cardboard baby. That's what I'm saying. They're horrifying when pictured. Yeah. I guess you're right. It was a little disturbing. I'm right. They're horrifying when pictured. Yeah. I guess you're right. It was a little disturbing.

I'm right. It was disturbing. I saw someone that I only knew on social media exclusively the other day and they described me as so much more three-dimensional. I was like, honey, you have no idea. They didn't say IRL. Ironically say IRL.

IRL. IRL. I do say BTW. That'sRL. Yeah. Ironically say IRL. IRL. IRL. I do say BTW. That's brave. Sorry. That's brave. I say, wait, you say BTW? Like, by the way.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's the one I say recently that I was like, why are you saying that? Sometimes I'll say LOL, but I think it's a joke. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I say BTW. BTW. It's a safe one. BTWubs is fun everyone will know what you mean it's not g2g that's horrible you can't say i say brb brb i say brb too brb brb i'm gonna go p

oh that's good that's good even when i'm shitting yeah because you know it's horrible to have to share that you're shitting you know what jeff jeff did something historic in his i don't think sony i just want to point out he my god he really just, if anyone shoehorned anything, it was Jeff shoehorning. Oh, and you know what? I really respect that. Apart from his show. No, I respect that. Absolutely.

As two people who are coming up and trying to find new and innovative ways to self-promote. To self-promote. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, that was for mama rue that was for mama rue because from mama rue to you to grew to grew wow that is beautiful well this has been a fantastic episode it's been a fantastic episode and i have to say jeff when you fly we cry i think that inspires a song um first we want to say oh

bright colors and bold patterns four nights a week at the Soho Playhouse at the Soho Playhouse bring your Bed Bath & Beyond tickets or I'm sorry Bed Bath & Beyond coupons any uh

last words for the people listening to this podcast because you've given a lot of knowledge so just leave us with something beautiful and then we'll sing us out

okay um if you uh So just leave us with something beautiful and then we'll sing us out. Okay. If you, you should get this little tool. And if you ever get a whitehead, you can scrape it off and it won't get infected. And I didn't do that this week. You gotta scrape that shit off your face.

Scrape that shit right off your face. Scrape that shit right off your face. Today. Today. today today today you're supposed to join me on a harmony I was looking at the peaks

why were you looking at the peaks that's for HPJ to deal with this has been a fucking disaster when people fly I cry This has been a fucking disaster. When people fly, I cry. Take the third cry. You're welcome.

We sounded like a... What's a three person? A trio. What's it, a quartet? That's because we put it in the mask. Audra. Forever Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production.

Executive produced by Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram, at Forever Dog Team, and liking our page on Facebook. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes.

We're spilling all the behind-the-scenes stories, crazy details, and honestly, just having a blast talking football. Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all times, from legends to our buddies to current stars. We're finally answering the age-old question, what kind of dudes are these dudes? We're going to find out Jules new episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season.

Listen to dudes on dudes on the I heart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Thanksgiving day, 1999, five-year-old Cuban boy, Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba?

Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami? Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Cheryl Swoops. And I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day.

Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women. And T and I have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby, an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty and I'm the host of On Purpose. My latest episode is with Jelly Roll.

This episode is one of the most honest and raw interviews I've ever had. We go deep into Jelly Roll's life story from being in and out of prison from the age of 13 to being one of today's biggest artists. I was a desperate delusional dreamer. Be a delusional dreamer. artists. I was a desperate delusional dreamer. Be a delusional dreamer. Just don't be a desperate delusional dreamer.

Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Trust me, you won't want to miss this one.