Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang - "YAZ HUNNI" (w/ Mike Kelton)

Episode Date: October 11, 2017

ONE NIGHT ONLY: Mike Kelton is such a radiant beam of light that Matt and Bowen are forced to swap out the negative "I Don't Think So, Honey" segment for the extremely positive and uplifting "Yaz Hunni!" segment! And YAZ HUNNI, Bowen does his about Hot and Spicy Cheez-Its! But if you think that's all this episode has going for it, then you are sorely mistaken. Of COURSE Matt lists the credits; of COURSE Bowen charms with the compliments - but then Kelton gets right into it with a 14 minute rendition of his famous parable, the "Elevator Story" (21:20). The story is so good that I've used it to make a point in my real life TWICE and the episode hadn't even come out yet. The story includes lawyers, Pride, the fire department, and Brian Faas so any good Culturista is going to want to check it out ASAP. But wait. There's more: Mike talks about the influence of Jagged Little Pill (34:38), our hosts breakdown Clueless vs. Mean Girls (39:30), and we get to hear about Mike's new show "Shade: Queens Of NYC" (44:30) which everyone is going to want to check out - it sounds likes essential viewing. Thanks to Mike for coming on! We all look up to you and appretiate you coming out! Enjoy the episode everyone...and rate 5 stars! - HPJLAS CULTURISTAS HAS A PATREON! For $5/month, you get exclusive access to WEEKLY Patreon-ONLY Las Culturistas content!!https://www.patreon.com/lasculturistasCONNECT W/ LAS CULTURISTAS ON FACEBOOK & TWITTER for the best in "I Don't Think So, Honey" action, updates on live shows, conversations with the Las Culturistas community, and behind-the scenes photos/videos:www.facebook.com/lasculturistastwitter.com/lasculturistasLAS CULTURISTAS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASThttp://foreverdogproductions.com/fdpn/podcasts/las-culturistas/ Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This fall on Bravo. It's time to turn up. Think you've seen it all? I don't think you've been a good friend to me lately. We're friends like that, who needs enemies? You ain't seen nothing yet. Cheers to being Germanic. With the Real Housewives of Potomac.

Oh my gosh, can I take this in? It's gonna be amazing. New York City. Everyone is a gossip. No one gets a happier life. Salt Lake City. We don't wear costumes, we wear fashion. And below deck sailing out.

You broke the rules and now you're here getting upset. Watch all new seasons on Bravo or stream it on City TV+. Let's have a real good time. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski. And we are super excited to tell you about our new show, Dudes on Dudes. We're spilling all the behind-the-scenes stories, crazy details, and honestly, just having a blast talking football. Every week, we're discussing our favorite players of all times,

from legends to our buddies to current stars. We're finally answering the age-old question, what kind of dudes are these dudes? We're going to find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999,

five-year-old Cuban boy Elian Gonzalez was found off the coast of Florida. And the question was, should the boy go back to his father in Cuba? Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home, and he wanted to take his son with him. Or stay with his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom.

Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Cheryl Swoops. And I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby. And on our new podcast, we're talking about

the real obstacles women face day to day. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women. And T and I have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby, an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment.

You can find us on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. You guys, this is Matt. We have two shows coming up in Novembermber and they are real gags people on november 7th we are part of new york comedy festival we're so excited bowen and i are pumped to bring culture and i don't think so honey death match to the villain stage in brooklyn on november 7th this is going to be two teams. One, Team Matt. Another, Team Bowen. And they're going to be going head-to-head

to find out which team can deliver the best. I don't think so, honey. This is a head-to-head deathmatch tournament competition. And Bowen and I are going to be captaining two teams. We have an amazing blue ribbon panel we're going to be revealing very soon. It's going to be very good.

November 7th, Culture War, New York Comedy Festival, tickets on sale now. And then, it's back to basics, bitch. On November 18th, we're going to be bringing our third edition, I can't believe it's been three times,

of I Don't Think So Honey live. 50 comedians all killing it on the stage. You in the audience getting your laugh on, getting your gig, getting someone's phone number. I think a show is a really good place to meet someone because you're having a good time. You don't have to talk about shared interests. You can talk about the show. It's happening right there. I don't know. I think it might be a good idea. So come as a single person or come with a new date. But either way, come to either show or both. We have culture

on November 7th at New York Comedy Festival and I Don't Think So Honey Live, Brooklyn Podcast Festival, on November 18th. Ding dong, Las Culturistas calling. Ooh, ah.

La Lee. What are you thinking right now? I'm thinking, I didn't drink this coffee in the right time frame. What? Did you drink too late? Will you be up online? I drank too early and now I'm a little didn't drink this coffee in the right time frame. What? Did you drink too late? Will you be up all night?

I drank too early and now I'm a little crashy crashy. But no, I'm great. Okay. I'm like still there. I'm still wired. But, you know, I'm dangling off the cliff, bitch. Okay. I had the option to drink a coffee at 4 p.m. today.

And I said, you know what? No, because I don't want to be up all night. Because you know what that caffeine does to a bitch the caffeine does a wonders how listen you want to know something kombucha update no I don't I don't okay yes I do kombucha update bought some synergy ginger gingerade it's sitting in my fridge because I have no desire to drink it okay well I'll come over tonight and I will have it I it's just it looks disgusting I'm a kombucha bitch um by the way you know who sent me a picture of them and the ginger eight kombucha who Catherine Cohen oh and she said taking the

advice of my bitch okay so you could say that kombucha nation has just begun it's like bachelor nation but healthier but healthy um do we have a good guest today I think we have a resplendent guest. Learn a bit. Maybe like a true icon. A true legend. A gay baron. A gay robber baron in NYC. I love actually so much. Love him. Love him.

Some of his stories have changed my life. Yeah. And actually I want some of them to be told. Some of them will be told. And he's telling some of his stories at his amazing new show at UCB. Yeah. And that leads perfectly into the credits, Bo. Okay, bitch. He's got an amazing show running at UCB. Yeah, and that leads perfectly into the credits bow. Okay, bitch. He's got

an amazing show running at UCB Chelsea and it's called Yes, Honey! And it is directed by Shannon O'Neill. The legendary. The legend. You will also want to keep your eyes peeled, you guys, for the DocuFollow series called

Shade, Queens of New York City. Now this is a drag queen like docu-series like slash reality show with all New York's finest. I'm talking Marty Gold Cummings, Britta Filter, Tina Burner, Jasmine Rice LaBeija who just

called our guest prior to us going on the air and we had to kick her off. We had to kick her off because we said no. He has a hard out. He has a hard out. He's got a hard out at 8.30 but he arrived a brisk 20 minutes late. I burn. I

put on blast. It was not my fault. I haven't been introduced. I'm just going to say it was not my fault. He's also a new dog dad. Everyone welcome our guest Mike Kelton. Okay, explain yourself. Why the lateness? Okay, for real, got an invite to this recording, which is very professional.

Kudos. But also, the address was 81 President Street. Oh. And so I went to the address. I'm looking at Hot Producer Alex. And I'm really upset. Were you guys not aware? No, it might have been Hot Producer Joe's fault.

It was Hot Producer Joe's fault. It was, it was hot producer Joe's fault. Wow. HPJ. Good to know. Invite from Joe. So I went there

and I'm just standing outside this like house and this old woman came out and kept looking at me and I was like, hey, here for the podcast, babe.

She was like, she just kept like staring at me and didn't say a thing and I was like, I'm for sure gonna be like, a spell's gonna be put on me. Oh no. So then I emailed and I was like, babe, here's where I'm at and they're like, I'm for sure going to be like, a spell's going to be put on me. Oh, no. I emailed and I was like, babe, here's where I'm at.

And they're like, babe, that's not where we're supposed to be. Oh, holy shit. Oh, I'm sorry. Hopped in an Uber. Sorry about it. Hopped in an Uber at the old woman's house with a dream and a nice shirt. Okay, I'm glad this got cleared up. And honestly, this is like a classic just capsule of a Mike Kelton story that will like that puts

you in that place. Honestly I was there with him. You know what he's so gifted with words that when he was telling us Bowen what had just happened to him I saw it all. I saw the woman. I saw the witch. I saw the woman. She was hunched over. Did she have a hunch? A huge hunch.

Kel tell us about this dog. Oh my god yeah tell okay so i think in life in gen like you get to a point and you're like you're like do i what do i do yeah do i get a dog do i get a baby uh-huh do i get engaged yeah do i move out of my apartment do i move back home to indiana sometimes it's the sequence of those things. Exactly. It could be one, two, three. Yeah. Right.

So I decided, so me and Andrew have been together a while. We've been like kind of hinting at the dog thing. Sweet boy. Hinting to each other. And then it's kind of scary because you're like, you get a dog with a person. You got to be with that person. And or if you break up, it's like someone takes the dog. So it's like that.

Right. You have to have that kind of like precursor conversation. Right. Yes, of course. Like who gets the dog. So it's like that. You have to have that kind of like precursor conversation. Right. Yes, of course. Like who gets the dog? Yeah. So the way it happened is we were talking about dogs for a while and then we both got super busy and then started working on the show.

And then the first week of pre-production, I was super, super tired. We went out to dinner. I didn't have any free time. We're at we're sitting outside of our favorite restaurant building on Bond in Brooklyn. OK. Thank you. We're going to talk about Building on Bond. Okay. I have some issues, but keep going. Okay.

I'm into talking about it. Okay, great. We'll do it. So you're at Building on Bond. We're at Building on Bond. We're sitting outside, and I was just like venting to Andrew, which happens all the time. And he's like, what's wrong? And I was like, I'm just so stressed. I didn't know that this was going to be this much work. And I was like, the only thing that could make this better is a dog. And he was like, you're an idiot.

That's like impossible. But then, babe, what happens? My wallet falls out of my back pocket in my shorts, okay? Okay. An hour later, a woman comes by walking with the dog, and the dog sniffs my wallet and finds my wallet because I would have forgotten it. And I go, oh, my God, what a gem of a dog.

And she goes, up for adoption, babe. That very dog? That very dog. Oh my god. And I go, no way, babe. You have to be joking. No way, babe. So then we are obsessed with this dog.

His name is Django. Django. Wild. Wild that its name is Django. Anyway, so we end up going I know it's honestly wild so we go back to this woman's apartment we have wine with her

we realize like she's a little bit unstable so we like we had to get out of the apartment but then we just applied online at Badass Brooklyn

an incredible organization we applied we were like four glasses of wine in and so we we made this amazing application that talked all about us

and our experience of why we want a dog and then they wrote back the next day it was like Django has actually been adopted but like we've got Curtis. And you were like Curtis is not Django. Exactly we thought he was ugly. We actually thought he was ugly. He was ugly. And so we were like

we'll just wait around because it's not the time anyway. Then we went to an adoption event and we just like literally fell in love with Curtis and he's so Curtis. So Curtis is better looking in person. Oh, gorgeous in person. As they so often are. Am I right?

Wait, Curtis, what breed? Mike is like holding back something. Can I tell you something? Yes, please do. So Andrew came into Brooklyn Crab. Okay. With a friend. And one Sarah Grace Wellborn was waiting on Andrew,

and I happened to be on the very same floor. So I was walking around, you know, doing my thing, and I would see out of the corner of my eye Sarah Grace talking to Andrew, her old friend. And she came over to me and said, I feel really bad. And I said, what? She said, well, Andrew had mentioned before that he and Mike are thinking about getting a dog. And to be honest, me

and the girl he's with were like trying to talk him out of it. And she said she thought he saw, she thought she saw tears well up and he put his sunglasses on. Can I tell you something? What? Reveal. He was a little bit upset. Because he really wanted the dog and I think they were being good friends. Too much. They were

honestly being good friends because they were like, look you guys are really busy. You're so busy. Having a dog is a big responsibility. And so they were kind of doing like what they should have done. Right. But he was like, you know, in love with. You think about about it a lot you build it up in your head and you fall in love with the dog and so that got back to you oh yeah i came home and he was like so i talked about the dog and he's like i don't think they were fully on board with it sarah grace felt terrible she came

over to me and she is my work wife my work work spouse. And she said to me, babe, I feel terrible. I said, come sit down. You're at work. Come and chat. We left the floor. I said, what's going on, babe? I put my hand through her hair. Right through the hair.

She said, well, I just feel really stressed because I feel like I just might have hurt Andrew's feelings. And I was like, well, I'm sure he's fine. I'm sure he's not weeping at the table. Before you knew it, a full scene in the restaurant. He cried, he carried on. No, I'm just kidding. Oh my god. I was like, he didn't tell me that. No, no, no, no, no. Although his sunglasses were on. Which

for him is just like, if it's after 6pm, sunglasses are on. Are you and Andrew both like sunglass gays? No. Definitely sunglass gays. Okay, sure. But we're like kind of opposites Which is I was gonna ask

Are you both like that sensitive I feel like you're not You are someone who is a feeling person But only for the things that really I'm gonna say matter Oh that's nice Would you agree with that? Maybe that's an unfair assessment

I am very Empathetic Where like I take on people's energy And like I When there's like, I take on people's energy and like I, when there's like big issues going on in the world, I like take it on and I get really upset about it.

And I am pretty sensitive. We're kind of both sensitive, but we just deal with it in different ways. So would you have reacted, responded the same way in that situation? If your friends,

if some of your close friends were like, maybe it's not a good idea. I think I would have told them in the moment, been like, you guys are hurting my feelings. Great. Yes, you would have. You would have done that. And I think he, I think he kind of did come up with a little bit of that.

But I think he was just like, he was really listening to their advice because he, I mean. Because they did not have a point. They had a point. And they, they said what they should have said in that moment. Sure. But like, that didn't stop us and we got Kurt Kurt He's the bat and the here's the other thing. This is this is like because I'm so busy. Yeah, I Hate hearing this later, but like I can afford to pay for doggy daycare

We got a lot of help, you know, it takes a village to raise a dog. We got a lot of help. Look, I have the means. I was, someone today, I was reading this profile on New York Magazine about Lisa Ling and like what her life is like. And she like gets real about like childcare. She's like, I'm so grateful I can afford childcare when so many mothers can't in America. A team.

And then someone, someone in the comments was like, it's so refreshing for someone who has money to be up front about having access to that. And I was like, is it refreshing? I mean, it's great. It's like, appreciate the honesty. Appreciate the honesty. But it's like, no, great. It's like, yeah, no, that's just a matter of fact thing.

You have it or you don't. And it's great if you have it. And it's fine if you don't. I think logistically, it would be really tough to have a day where like we were both, he was at school, he's in grad school right now and I was gone all day and I would be like I don't want to leave a dog at home. No you can't do that.

It's not nice to do. Yeah yeah yeah. But since we can bring him to doggy daycare it feels like a possibility. It's great. I also think sometimes it pisses a lot of mothers off when they read these stories about like Hollywood moms who do it all and they never mention the fact that they have help.

It's like, don't pretend like you're this superwoman who has this $20 million of film career and also is like there for everything and meeting all the teachers and knows their names. Like that I think would piss me off as a mother. So it's kind of nice to hear when people are being super honest about the fact that like yes I have a team

please don't think that like I honestly know what they're doing in school I don't same thing where like Erica Jane will be like look I spent four hours on this face like I have a full team that did my hair and makeup and that's why I look amazing if you were to see me waking up I would look like shit.

Yeah. Which is that honesty we appreciate. Okay, I see that. Tell us about Kurt. What kind of breed, everything. Tell us. So no one knows what he is. A little minor.

And everyone has their own opinion. Like, when we got him, they said bull mastiff on the website. Which, the thing about bull mastiffs is they can become, like, 100 pounds. Yeah. Like, they're huge dogs. is they can become like a hundred pounds. They're huge dogs. And they said it was in between one and two, which also like our vet disagreed with. Our vet was like,

there's no way he's even one. And we were like, really? He's really young. Yeah. They think he's like puppy. So like we've kind of like, if we average everything out based on everyone's ideas

about how old and what he is, he is a bull, mastiff, pit, boxer, shih tzu. He's like a little bit of everything. Who is one years old. We'll just call him one. We'll call him one eternally.

And it's a male dog. It's a male dog, yes. It's not a female named Kurt. No, although that would be fun. That would be fun. It would be fun. It would be fun. It'd be a real nice fuck you to Republicans. I'll tell you that.

All these Republicans out there saying dogs need gender, gender normal names. Wait. No, fuck that. That's true. That's true. They're out there saying that. That is true. That's honestly a very good point.

Yeah. Which brings me to talk about gender neutrality. Wait, can I be really vulnerable for a moment? I want you to open up. Kelton found me at a Starbucks in a really, in a really, I'm not going to say low place, but in a really specific place. You're a guardian angel. No, no.

I don't know if he saved me because what he did was, what I did was went on Craigslist, bought a gaming laptop for $600. And I took it to a Starbucks to start downloading some patches for this game. And who should walk

in but the warm but towering physicality of Mike Kelton and warm but towering physicality of Mike Kelton. Warm but towering. And then he was just like, what's that? Basically, he was just asking what I was doing. And I was just very honest. I was like, I just bought this computer with $600 in cash.

And I need to start downloading this game so that it can download while I'm at work. And he roundly shamed me. And I don't know if I've recovered from that. Oh my God, did I shame you? You didn't shame me. You took a picture of me on your Instagram story and people texted me.

They were like, I just saw you on Mike Kelton's Instagram story. Are you okay? And I don't know. I think I made an apology. To be honest. Oh my God, I will for sure apologize. No. But the thing is, I will not. I will do this, but I won't.

Rescinded bitch in the moment had me. I'm taking it back, that's fair, that's fair. I thought that was gonna have a positive twist because I have a story about running into Kelton in a moment too

oh I have a million of those stories with Kelton but you go I feel like you disappear sometimes cause like my golly

I don't see you a lot but I see you when it counts bitch this was right after I literally left the audition for the CBS diversity showcase

and I had such like a, I really didn't want to go do that. Yeah. But I had a feeling like I booked and lo and behold we did. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then it didn't end up happening for like crazy wild reasons.

But I remember I said to you, I was like, I don't want to do this. And you were like, you have to do what you want to do and create work and not be like being a part of like something that you don't want to be a part of. And then I ended up like saying I would do it and everything. But in the back of my head, I always knew that was true.

And I knew you were right. And I always was like, no, Kelton is right. And this is not going to happen. And then literally like cosmically, it didn't end up happening. Because realistically, you should not have done it. For some reason, it was you compromising, even though it felt like a success. I feel like this happens a lot to a lot of our friends where like we've,

there's all this pressure on us because of what we're doing and there's no actual road to success. So we like to create like an idea, a roadmap of like, well, if this happens, like it'll be successful and people will be like they're doing it and then i'll feel better about myself yeah but like and that those showcases are

great for people but the way you express it to me you were like i did this and the energy around it is like i did what i think they wanted me to do and like i know as like someone who's auditioned for that stuff i'm like i'm gonna go in and like do some gay stuff you know what i mean like it's a diversity thing i'm gonna like i'll do a woman at a wedding, you know, like I'll do, I'll do like a gay thing and then I'll do an animal or something. An animal. And like your energy was telling me that it was like authentic, inauthentic for you. And you were like, but I did a really good job at like what I think they wanted.

And so I was telling you, like, listen to that gut and don't fit into other people's mold because I think there's like I think that's what kills people in this industry is like fitting into a mold and like knocking it out of the park and then when they get the success they look around and people are looking to them of like who are you as an artist and they're like not what you like shit

yeah yeah what do I do now the real housewives of Salt Lake City are back I love that oh my gosh welcome and last season's drama was Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do I do now? The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City are back. I love that. I love that. Oh, my gosh. Welcome. And last season's drama was just the tip of the iceberg. You're recording us?

I am disgusted. Never in a million years after everything we've been through did I think that you would reach out to our sworn enemy. We were friends. How could you do this to me? I don't trust her. The Real Housewives of salt lake city wednesdays at nine on bravo or stream it on city tv plus i'm julian edelman i'm rob

grankowski guess what folks we're teammates again and we're gonna welcome you guys all to dudes on dudes i'm a dude you're a dude and on Dudes is our brand new show. We're going to highlight players, peers, guys that we played against, legends from the past. And we're just going to sit here and talk about them. And we'll get into the types of dudes. What kind of types of dudes are there, Gronk? We got studs, wizards. We got freaks. Or dudes, dude. We got dogs. Dogs. We'll break down their games. We'll some insider stories, and determine what kind of dude each of these dudes are. Is Randy Moss a stud or a freak? Is Tom Brady a dog or a dude's dude?

We're going to find out, Jules. New episodes drop every Thursday during the NFL season. Listen to Dudes on Dudes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Cheryl Swoops, WNBA champ, three-time Olympian, and basketball hall of famer. I'm a mom and I'm a woman. I'm Tarika Foster-Brasby, journalist, sports reporter, basketball analyst, a wife, and I'm also a woman. And on our new podcast, we're talking about the real obstacles women face day to day. See, athlete or not, we all know it takes a lot as women to be at the top of our game.

We want to share those stories about balancing work and relationships, motherhood, career shifts, you know, just all the we go through. Because no matter who you are, there are levels to what we experience as women. And T and I, well, we have no problem going there. Listen to Levels to This with Cheryl Swoops and Tarika Foster-Brasby, an iHeart Women's Sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment. You can find us on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. On Thanksgiving Day, 1999, a five-year-old boy floated alone in the ocean. He had lost his mother trying to reach Florida from Cuba. He looked like a little angel. I mean,

he looked so fresh. And his name, Elian Gonzalez, will make headlines everywhere. Elian Gonzalez. Elian, Elian. Elian Gonzalez. Elian, Elian. Elian Gonzalez. At the heart of the story is a young boy and the question of who he belongs with. His father in Cuba.

Mr. Gonzalez wanted to go home and he wanted to take his son with him. Or his relatives in Miami. Imagine that your mother died trying to get you to freedom. At the heart of it all is still this painful family separation. Something that as a Cuban, I know all too well. Listen to Chess Peace, the Elian Gonzalez story, as part of the My Cultura podcast network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Wow. And you were one of the first people in the UCB community, or really even in the comedy community at large, that I saw that was really doing their own thing that I looked up to because you were doing your gay ass thing. And it was you and like josh and aaron

like and like bsj like i just like looked up to you guys because i thought you know they're not doing it the way everyone else does it and they're doing it in a way that i get and i know that other people are gonna get and it's meaningful and that was and that's huge oh that's nice like you i remember i i like felt like i scored in a performance early on for like while you were in the audience at the pit and you went to leave the audience and I ran out to go like talk to you because I like wanted your validation. Seriously, like I love you. Oh my God, that's so nice. No, I do. You guys are being really nice.

I do. I love you. I've always looked up to you so much I remember when I first met you in the pit love bar I was like I went up to you and I was like I'm actually like a big fan and you were friends with Doug and you were like oh my god who is this crazy fucking

bitch no I like it's so funny because I genuinely was like was like this guy is fucking adorable and super authentic and like the fact that you said that and I was a big fan of you I was super authentic and like the fact that you said that and i was a big fan of you i watch well i was big fan of the both of you because i talked to you every time i like would pitch something i would always include you and then we were like kind of similar so i'd be like well if i if i put mad and it's like i gotta take myself out of here you know

but like but i when you said that to me i remember that and i was like you're so funny and you're both like you're both very loud and like this is who i am so when you said that to me, I remember that. And I was like, you're so funny. And you're both very loud and like, this is who I am. So when you said that to me, I was like, you're already doing that. Like, I see that in you. And it's kind of like the confidence that allows you to go up to him and be like, hey, I love what you do. That allows you to, I think, like do what you do. I hope I'm making sense. No, it really does.

It's a setting free of yourself. But you need to see an example of that, that just sort of happening by example. And my, my, my sort of seared Kelton memory

is a fancy man show. I was like, it is an Indie Cage match. Oh my God. And I think you just, this is all you said. Like your character was like screaming

really loudly. And like, I think something like Henry Russell Bergstein was like, why are you, why are you talking so loudly? And then you just said,

I have, I have deaf. I have deaf. And it was so, no, and I'm not saying that. I'm so glad you shared that story. No,

no, it was, I swear it was not like, like ableist or anything. It was just like, it was just like an earned funny moment and I will never forget it because it was so goddamn funny in the moment. And like, okay,

there's this, Jamie Stoller used to host this podcast called The Waiting Game and then Mike Helton was one of the first guests and he tells these amazing stories about like what he felt like were his, and I don't know if it's, I'm just gonna say this for you, like you felt like you had hit rock bottom after you got stuck in your boss's elevator. Okay, wait, can you tell because i think i think everyone everyone needs to hear the story

because it is it's it's amazing it's so stressful and just to hear mike sort of coming back from that moment and like seeing where he is now is i think so inspiring lost cultures listeners i'm excited for you yeah okay do you mind are we putting you on the spot a lot not at all no no i'm happy to share all this stuff. I always feel like in general, like a thesis of like, before I tell this is like,

the worst things that happen to you, I always think are going to end up being like your biggest power. Like RuPaul says, the things that make you different or the things that you fail at

are like your superpowers when you realize how to like use them. But, so this story, when I was coming up at UCB, I worked as an executive assistant at a law firm in Chelsea.

And I got the job kind of as a mistake where this woman who I met at a gym was like, hey, I'm looking for an assistant. And I was just like, I don't have a job and I'm taking comedy classes. So I'll do it. And she was at the time was super sweet. And we became friends.

And it became a relationship where I was working for her, but we became friends and it became a relationship where like i was working for her but we were friends so we would go out a lot and then i did stuff for the firm but it was like i think you shouldn't be friends with your employees like in in general um it's something i learned from that so i had apartments at her place for years and watched her dogs her adorable dogs and was like very fine with it, very used to it. And so this is DCM weekend 2014, 2013. DCM weekend also, okay, Pride

weekend. Can we change that, please? Great combo, that is not so great. It's not so great. So it was DCM weekend and I was house-sitting for my boss. And so I was at McManus on the Thursday night and I mentioned to like someone, I think like Josh or Aaron, I was like, well, they were like, we should do something for gay pride.

And I was like, well, my boss's common roof space is in Chelsea, right near the theater. We could do like a little drinks thing from like five to seven and then people can go to their pride stuff or go back to DCM or whatever. Seems totally reasonable. Yeah. Sounds lovely. Yeah. It sounds lovely. I mean, the more I go back to this story, the more I'm like, it's insane how this,

how the universe fucked me. Or, like, saved me. It's not like you were doing anything, like, out of the question. Okay. Keep going. Because, yeah, I'm, like, the first person to be, like, inappropriate. So, like, anyway, so I invite people over and, like, it started with, like, five people and like It started with like five people

And ended up being like twelve of us Like ten to twelve of us UCB gays Like the sweetest best people In the world You love them You wanna cuddle them Sometimes you do

Sometimes you cuddle them So like it's 5pm Sunday afternoon After like crazy DCM weekend So like it's 5 p.m. Sunday afternoon after like crazy DCM weekend. And I like the way that it happens is like the elevator goes up to the top floor. So no one was going into the apartment. Right. People were just coming up to the roof and it ended up like Brandon Scott Jones was like,

hey, can I bring someone else? I was like, of course. I know all these people. So we're up there. We're literally drinking champagne and having one or two beers and sharing stories. It's like the tamest thing you could think of.

And so after two hours, it's like seven o'clock. I'm like, all right, that's it. We all clean up. And I'm being fastidious about it. I'm like, let's clean up. I want to make sure that no one leaves anything up here.

We put all of the bottles into these plastic bags. We have these jingling bags. And we get in the elevator. And it's like seven of them are in. And then there's like eight of them in. And I was like, and someone, I don't know who it was, but like maybe Brian Foss, I don't know, was like, let's just all get in the elevator. And I'm like, and people have had a couple drinks. And I'm like, yeah.

I was like, let's all squeeze in this elevator. We're sweaty. We're in tank tops. Some of us have fucked each other. Like, let's just get in anyway. So we get in the elevator. Doors close. It literally goes down like six inches and stops.

Like six inches. Because it's too heavy? Because it's too heavy. Because it's too heavy. And here's the deal. I'm like, uh-oh, reset. You're pressing the reset button or whatever, and it's just moving a tiny bit, and then just stopping.

And it's really, you couldn't move in this elevator. It was like fucking gay disco. It was like the duplex like in this elevator literally if there was a piano it literally would have been the duplex so so like people are all everyone's this is hysterical to everybody except me because i'm like oh this is my job like and i did not tell my boss i was having these people over because in my mind i was like it's a common roof space it's like five to seven no one's it's they'll be gone whatever and because it was sunday the elevator company wasn't working so i called the number and they were like some woman was literally in the office being like fyi we're closed i was

like what are you doing then? She's like, you need to call the fire department. So called the fire department. Not one, not two, but three fire trucks came to this apartment building. We were in there for an hour. And the firemen came. Yeah, go ahead. So one elevator in the whole building.

One elevator, whole building. And this is the thing. It's one of those buildings where the elevator opens up to one apartment or the other side apartment so people that lived in this building it was a small like maybe like 12 units in the building yep but like very very nice it's a very nice building yep and so everyone was like we can't like get up to bring our groceries if there's a pregnant woman she couldn't get up to like go home so an hour goes by and people are cracking jokes and i'm literally like sweating i'm like my job my job my job um a job a job a job and at the time i like couldn't i couldn't pay my rent if i didn't make money from this job it was like why i didn't leave this job and so then god the bits happening around you for that yeah that you see b gays

later literally bits yep yep And they were good bits. Like, if I wasn't having an anxiety attack, I would have been like, I love, I love, I love, I love, I live, I live. So then the fire department comes up and they couldn't get the door open so they had to

break the elevator door by like jamming it open and they broke into a neighbor's apartment. They broke down the fire door. They're like the full on fire door. They broke it down because they thought it was an emergency. I mean it was. And so then they let us out and all of us

walk down the fire exit of this building with every tenant in the building screaming at us. Who the fuck are you guys? What apartment are you from? What the fuck is going on? And you're like tank tops.

And who was it? Ryan Williams, I think. Ryan Williams walking down like God in someone's face. And like, honestly, like God bless because they were being aggressive to us. But I was like, please think of me. Think of like the fact that like there's a person who I'm working for and like got in someone's face and someone got in his face and I think he was like you know fuck you or like

there was some type of like push or something and we got out to the street and I will never forget this like some yeah I'm gonna throw a little bit of shade some people were like stealing Kiki World and they were like we're out like let's go to the bar and I was like having a

panic attack yeah and like Brian Foss was such a sweetie oh like there were a couple people that really checked in were like are you okay but Brian Foss was like what can I do for you right now and I was like I just need to like walk around the block and get some air daddy so I daddy daddy so I called my boss I literally like this is the person I am I called her right away and I was like crying I was like here's the deal I was like, here's the deal. I was like, this is what happened. She's like, are the dogs okay? And I was like, the dogs are fine. I was like, I put them in doggy daycare because I didn't want

them not peeing because I knew I was going to be out all night at DCM. Like, I was, like, being super proactive, even though she hired me to want lots of dogs for the weekend and put it in doggy daycare. But I was, like, super proactive about everything. And so she was like like it's totally fine like my neighbors are crazy

and then cut to like three days later I go into her office and she fired me and I think like the the co-op board really put the pressure on of like this guy had a rager and like and so like they put pressure on

her and she felt that stress so i got fired and it was like i literally was like i don't know how i'm gonna pay my rent i have a wedding to go to this weekend i'm 26 i can't even afford to get to this wedding or give a wedding gift like wow it was oh my god it was so bad but like the moral of the story is i had for a good year, I had written drafting like three draft emails to my boss quitting. Being like, you're amazing. Thank you for this opportunity and this paycheck. But I need to leave and like be a creative person. I can't be working in a law firm.

Yeah. And I never hit send. Yeah. Send. And I, you know, when you you're sad like and you buy a computer for the video games you like can't you can't get past it you can't be proactive about like making that hard

decision I couldn't do it and so like thank god the elevator broke because it forced me to like be on unemployment and be super poor for a year and a half and like work on what I should be working on which is like yeah being a fucking nutcase no but but how long did it take you to get to a place of even like being happy again after that happened was that like were you like

in the depths for like a couple a little while what's so weird about it is when I was fired I like was overcome with like sadness and I was packing up the stuff like I was fired and had to leave like this person who I'd known for three years, my desk. And I'm like packing up my stuff and walking out of the store. And as soon as I got to the street with all of my stuff, I felt amazing. I literally was like, oh, I was like, this is it. This is my fucking ticket like thank god it's just when shit happens that's really bad I think the moment after you realize like

that had to happen there's some kind of relief and then I went to like I'm lucky that my dad works in New York so I went to my dad's office and I cried to my dad and my dad was like you're a fucking idiot here we gotta get you a phone so he had to get me a phone because my phone was on the firm's.

Oh, wow. It was, like, it was bad. Did your friendship with her survive, or was that also over? We didn't talk for, like, a good two years. And then because we were friends, and, like, we were friends. She, I forget who it was. One of us emailed each other and was like, hey, let's connect. And then we got drinks, and we, like, we hashed it out. We had us emailed each other and was like, hey, let's connect. And then we got drinks and we

hashed it out. We had that conversation and I was like, I apologize. What happened sucked. And she's like, I apologize. And I'm actually going to next week, the firm's 15 year anniversary. Which is like, cool. That's awesome.

And that's like, I don't know, this sounds sort of petty, but it's like you get to just show everybody where you are now and it's like I don't know this sounds sort of petty but it's like you get to just show everybody like where you are now and it's this much better place you should buy

a beautiful gown yes I'll call Jazz and Rice Jazz and Rice La Mesa you should just arrive like posing as if there's a red carpet

like they're up on the line the paparazzi and like just like go to the I don't know I'm doing like my pose right now that I would do if I were like at a the i don't know i'm doing like my pose right now that

i would do if i were like a step and repeat it's good it's like it's like it's like flowy it's like i'm trying to think who i'm channeling right now i think like prime her prime evil on gory oh yeah her six month prime it was a many years you stupid bitch um wait i did before i move on for the story can you i I almost want you to name names that you can just say now. Who else was that? No, no, no. Who is still in kiki mode after all of this?

Can you tell us? Because I feel like it's been long enough where you can just say it and it's no harm done. Spill the tea. Do you remember? Were Josh and Aaron supportive or were they just like, bye? They were like, bye. Yes, that didn't surprise me at all. I mean, they're just like, bye. They were like, bye. Yeah, that didn't surprise me at all.

I mean, like, they're such funny people. Yeah. They were just like, they were like, you'll realize one day how funny this is.

Like, that's, I've never seen. That's not what you want to hear in the moment. Not at all. No, not at all,

but like, that makes total sense and like that, I've never seen either of them be upset over anything. Yeah, they don't get upset. They don't get upset. They don't get upset.

I feel like sometimes with Josh, I feel like we've been hanging out and I said something sincere and I think he looked at me and like burned a hole in my soul. I was like, yeah, really? And he's like, okay. I was like, Josh.

And he's just one of those people that like, I think he's, I always think that Josh and Aaron are like quicker than me. Or like sometimes I'm trying to catch up with the joke. It's a little intimidating at first. Yeah, because they're so fucking funny. Yep, yep, yep.

Icons. So funny. Wait, okay, we're going to ask you what we ask all of our guests on the show, which is what is the culture that made you say cultures for me? Yeah, this is the culture as you were growing up like i don't know it happens at different ages for different people you know 10 11 12 13 14

movies films television art a situational thing the culture that really caused you michael kelton to step into the world of culture great um i think I understand the question. You do. You do. Purposefully. It's part of the show that we make the question a little fucked up. Okay. Because it has to sound a little different each time. Okay. Okay. I will say. It's entertainment, babe. Jagged

Little Pill. Oh my god. Alana. Alana's horse at Jagged Little Pill is like very much, I feel like, what defined me as a little gay boy because I was like, but then I was blissfully unaware. And then I was just jamming. Went to your house. Yes. I walked in your room.

That's good. I opened the door without ringing a bell. That's really good. That's really good. It's not that good. No. But that song is like the hidden track. And people don't, I think, know it as well as they should.

Yes. Because I feel like they turn the album off when the last song ends. But you have to keep listening to the hidden track. You have to keep listening. But this is interesting because I feel like you weren't, I wouldn't call you an angry. That's rule number 100. You have to keep listening. To the hidden track.

I feel like you're't, I wouldn't call you an angry person. That's rule number 100. You have to keep listening to the hidden track. I feel like you're not an angry person. Now. But I don't think, I don't think Alanis, I mean, wow, this is going to be a hot take. Say it. I don't think Alanis was an angry person. I think she was a smart person. Like someone who's angry gets broken up

with and they like, they burn the house down or they like go after the person or smash the windows out their car but a smart person writes a song that becomes a number one hit that makes that person feel like the biggest douchebag the rest of their life oh and you think

that's what happened to Alana you don't think she ever acted on those feelings no you think she just wrote them out you think had she actually been confronted, she would just be like, um, okay, I actually need to like step away from the situation.

Yeah, or she'd be like, oh, I don't care. Like, I'm okay. I like, I feel like with, with like, storytelling, that's what,

like I have trouble in the moment when stuff really upsets me. Like, I can be like, I have trouble sticking up for myself because I like to make other people feel comfortable. Yep, yep, yep. But like, like the situation where I got me, like I can be like, I have trouble sticking up for myself. Um, cause I like to make other people feel comfortable, but like,

like the situation where I, where I got fired, like I, when she fired me, I sat, I stood in her office and I just cried and I kept saying, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

Cause I, I couldn't stick up for myself and I couldn't be like, what you're not realizing is this, this and this. So as a, uh, artist, like I just was like I'm gonna like I am witnessing this and I'm gonna use it and I'm gonna tell people these this story that will like

hopefully help other people or make them laugh or whatever right um and that's how like it's like the weird way that I experience life too like I always know that in a relationship if I start storytelling about that relationship it's kind of a bad thing because it means I'm not dealing with the issues with that person. So in that way, that's like a long winded way to say that with Alanis, I like I was like, I get you, girl. Yeah. That's so interesting that your response to conflict is to like retreat and apologize because mine is fully to be very defensive and argumentative. I've noticed that about myself. I mean that...

It's different strokes. It can be helpful to be that way. Like I think sometimes I really wish I could just be like, shut the fuck up right now and listen to the real situation. But I just like accept things. I'm one of those kids that always was like I was never in trouble and if people were like you did

this I was like you're right and you know what I apologize like I was like even if I didn't do it I always took responsibility for things yeah sure so Alanis that was 96 so this was like I guess early teens like no

96 I was 9 yeah oh 9 oh so you were kind of, you were feeling feelings that really you had no right to feel a bit. A hundred percent. Just adult feelings. Yeah. It was from a past life. I was really feeling. I thought you would have been like 12, 13 and you know, there I can feel, you know, you feel like burning down a house or at least you think you do. But at age nine? I don't, yeah, I don't know. I was kind of a quiet, I was, believe it or not, I was like a quiet, very weird kid where I could play by myself. And I just was like, I was on the swim team, so I would be at the pool and I loved to like

run around in my Speedo and like play imagination with myself. Like I was a very, very weird but, like, confident kid where people were like, you're weird. I was like, I'm actually having a blast. Babe. That's great. Oh, that's great. And then the other thing I would say culturally is,

sorry, I can't think of the name. It's not Mean Girls. It's Clueless. Clueless. Oh, for sure. To me, when, like, I think Mean Girls is an incredible movie, but I feel like the generation gap is, do you relate to Clueless or do you relate to Mean Girls?

Yeah. And you know what's funny is Clueless came out when I was like five, and then Mean Girls came out when I was 14. So I guess looking at them both now, it's weird because I didn't get Clueless at them both now it's weird because I didn't get Clueless at the time when I came out because who's 5 and gets Clueless? Literally most teenagers don't get Clueless.

It's so smart. But there was something about that movie and that now looking back I feel more close to than Mean Girls because Mean Girls is more of like a Tina Fey style like making jokes about these things like it's very

jokes driven but whereas Clueless it felt different it was like jokes about not only high schoolers but about the world or the world of the movie that's what I mean it's just like they're wearing these fucking crazy hats

you know like it's normal to like I don't mean it's just like they're wearing these fucking crazy hats like this you know like it's normal to like i don't it's just normal to look like the way they look like in high school and yeah maybe because it was an austin adaptation honestly it was like based on a classical like work in a way yeah like it had that kind of timeless quality to it whereas mean girls feels like its own self-contained story that only could have been written at that time, whereas Clueless has this kind of timeless story of like, you know. It feels like

Clueless was like a stamp of a generation, whereas Mean Girls is like a really good comedy movie. Yeah, I think that's it. And great one-liners, I mean, Mean Girls is like a stand-alone great film, but people quote it because it's just like joke, joke, joke, joke, joke. It's like Tina Fey.

It's like joke, joke, joke. Yeah. And I do think it's interesting, too, if you compare... I'm getting it all weird right now. If you compare Lindsay Lohan's character to... Alicia Silverstone. Alicia Silverstone. No, to Ty.

Oh, Ty. Brittany Murphy. Brittany Murphy, because those were both the new underdogs that became the Queen Bees. Yeah, right. There was a difference in the way that Brittany Murphy's character became the Queen Bee. It wasn't like,

to me, it wasn't purely about manipulation. It was like about people bringing her up. And then when she got there, she was like, this isn't really me. Whereas like, this is like really hard to explain. No, this is great. It feels like an Excel chart in my head,

but like, which I hate. But it feels like, it hard to explain. No, this is great. It feels like an Excel chart in my head, but, like, which I hate. But it feels like Lindsay Lohan's character was, like, doing it as a game. Yeah. She was, like, in order to beat these people, I'm going to play this game, where Brittany Murphy was blissfully being, like, sure. Just unknowingly. Yeah, I'll do this. Yeah, this is how you act here. Yes.

Yeah. Where it was, like, her being introduced to the 90s as opposed to like, you know, Lindsay Lohan, like playing the game and trying to like undercut the bitch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, at the end of the day, I think they often get grouped together, but two totally different fucking movies.

Totally, totally. It's like, and it's almost like unfair to both to like have them compete. But I think people do it with Mean Girls and with Heathers and with Clueless. They're kind of defining girl-driven teen comedies. And they exist there. And I don't know. I guess it's about time there's a new one.

Because it really is. Isn't this crazy? I mean, Mean Girls is 13 years ago. What was that movie with what's her face Easy A not easy no I wouldn't count Easy I wouldn't either

me neither it doesn't seem as impactful it's on that girl it's Hailee Steinfeld was in that movie oh Edge of 17 I hear it's like

people were saying at the time like critics were saying at the time that it's like of that sort of caliber it deserves to be in that pantheon

but like I but I feel like I gotta watch it. So I mean, what am I saying? I'm just bringing it up as like a reference. Like that's maybe the closest thing we have to that, which is sad. But it's interesting that it's probably time. You know what I mean?

The fact that we're talking about it means it's in the ether. Yeah. And it's, we're ready. Or it means that we should write it. And it'll have a gay lead. Oh my God. Wait, how do you do that?

You put your tongue on the roof of your mouth. It's really more of a click than it is a pop. Okay, I'm gonna try. Well, that's Beau. That's Beau. And now Matt. And now me. See, I'm gonna try. Well, that's Beau. That's Beau. And now Matt.

And now me. Yeah. See, you're doing a tongue click. You're like raising your tongue up and then like... So what... It's really more driven by one side of your mouth.

So, oh, so go on... Try doing like a... Like a... Hey, she looks really... Hey, she looks really, you know, like, hey, she looks really. I don't know. I'm not good at that. All right.

I mean, this is a great segue. This is a great segue into Shade, Queens of New York City. Queens of New York City? Queens of NYC. Queens of NYC. Queens of NYC. So this is a, I guess, can we expect like a Real Housewives style show? It's still in development.

Like you're still working through working through what it might be. We have a locked 101. We have a fine cut of 102. So the pilot is, the one is done. And it's funny, when you make a pilot, you figure out the style of stuff. But when you know you have to start working on episode two and three, you're like, this is what it is.

You're figuring it out as you go and so it's really interesting because the characters these queens are fucking incredible they're like they're such dynamic human beings that like I keep learning more about them and I'm like I want to show

the world that like I think the idea for the show was I was talking to Marty Gold Cummings like over a year ago and he met with me to pitch a documentary of him moving home to Maryland and running for mayor and I was like bitch what I was like did that really happen he wanted to oh my god and I was like that's really interesting but I was like tell me why you want to do that and then he started talking about how he's like he started doing all these fundraising shows and getting super politically active and how all these queens were like doing shows to raise money for a queen who was beaten on the subway

and like all of these things that really to me subverted the expectations of like what like top of reign what you think of when you think of drag which is like fierce people, funny people RuPaul's Drag Race, living for them but not like this kind of like all of the heart behind it which has always been there

like since the beginning of gay culture, drag queens were the people that were like uplifting the community. But I just think you don't, people don't see that at least in media to me. So I was like, what's the story behind that? And so then I met with all of these queens and interviewed them about the community in New York,

about what they do in their day to day lives. And I was like, Oh my God, like that's a show. You guys are a show. And so then like pitching oh, my God, like, that's a show. You guys are a show. And so then, like, pitching this show, people are like, yeah, drag queens. But, like, we hear a lot about drag queens. And I was like, the show isn't just drag queens.

It's, like, the human beings behind them. You don't hear a lot about drag queens either because you're being, right now, with Drag Race, which I would consider, like, maybe is the only media outlet that exists right now. Very much so. You're fed a specific fun, competitive image of one. And that changes everything. Of course. And it's like, oh, I have a favorite and it's this person. But with this,

it's like, no, it's not about who's better. It's just about their human stories. Exactly. What makes them tick? What do they believe? What is their style of drag? Like why does why does Brita Filter do drag as opposed to like Tina Bernard? Is it different or is it the same thing? I know it's like as gay men and performers like we all are. It's like there's a reason why we like to make people laugh. And it's I think it's a part of growing up and

having to make other people laugh at a point of shame that we feel like we're wrong to begin with. So there's something really magical and special about us. And I think more so with drag performers, because not only do they like, I want to perform, but they're like, I'm going to dress as a woman. I'm going to be a gag myself, right? I'm going to be a clown, make people laugh, make people feel good and communicate something

that ultimately takes away other people's pain. And of those people are gay men and in gay bars and i just think that's so universal for where we are right now as a society of like we're so divided and everything is pretty fucked up that like if you can empathize with these drag performers like my goal with whatever i make is always like to show it to my dad and have him be like that's really cool my dad was like a concert he's a lawyer he was grew up republican and like if he can be like these fucking drag queens rock i like i love that so it's it's interesting and also scary because you're making a drag show with a community online that are like waiting for like another drag race type thing and it's just not going to be that which is which is sort of how it should be yeah i'm just nervous that people

are going to be like like where is the like where's the like fierceness where's the reading yeah yeah where's them being like oh no bitch like there are moments of that because they they're drag queens and that's what they do perform but like it's mostly like there's like really beautiful moments where like Britta FaceTimes with her mom and talks about like struggling with her health issues and like how her mom at the end of this call goes

you got this baby you're my favorite drag queen and I'm like ah that's so special like people need to see that that's like some kid growing up in Iowa some 15 year old kid that's like I want to do drag but like is too scared to because he's like, my mom will disown me. If he could watch a show with his mom and have, see the mom be like,

oh, that mom is supportive and that mom is fucking Mormon. Like, how cool. So. Oh my God, Britta brought her mom to a show once and she was so sweet. So sweet. So, so sweet. We love Kim. I've been on like calls with her, like talking to her for like the scenes where she's on a call. I'm like, we just want you to like talk to Jessie and like just like be your beautiful self. the scenes where she's on a call. I'm like, we just want you to talk to Jessie

and just be your beautiful self. She's like, that's it? And I'm like, that's it. So fun. And just people being like, where are the tongue pops? Where's the reading? That is just a prescriptive thing.

People don't understand that it's an edited, within an inch of its life thing. Even RuPaul it they produced the fuck out of that oh yeah i think that's like a direct quote so it's like especially with a competitive show like it's extremely well done and i think it's great that it exists because it opens people's eyes up to it i mean i showed my dad an episode one episode of drag race and it happened to be the reunion of this year oh my god where they were where they were like that's such an intense episode and it was i was like you know this isn't a normal episode of three years like i want to watch it and his takeaway and he keeps saying this every time

my sister and i talk about it was you know i was struck by how honest they are with each other they all seem very open to critique and they're just able to really talk about each other very honestly and i've never seen anything like that. Because I think that's different for straight people. Oh, yeah. I think honesty, especially in suburban areas, you don't talk to each other to your face about what's real. You wouldn't walk up to someone in the grocery store and be like,

hey, your daughter is being shitty to my daughter. Or maybe they would. Yeah. No, you're right. But mothers in Surabaya are drag queens. And they need to know that. But especially with men, you know what I mean? You don't get real with each other in that way.

Hey, buddy, how's it going? Pretty good, bro. Amazing. Exactly. It's certainly not in the name of sisterhood or brotherhood. Terrible representation of straight people. You're welcome. No, but that's really, I mean, you're not far off from it.

They don't speak like that. So I think it's interesting to hear that his pull was, that's interesting how they're so honest with each other and how they, you know, read each other to filth, and that's okay. But meanwhile, honesty is also this, like, human thing, and that's just your dad responding to, oh, these are human beings. And I's just your dad responding to, Oh,

these are human beings. And I think that, I mean, hopefully I think that's probably what shade Queens of NYC is going to do. Yeah. I mean, that's, that's my hope for it.

And there's, it's really cool because you'll see in the first episode, it's very much about, it's called, it takes a village girl. Initially it was bitch. And the network was like, no,

it takes a village girl. And it's about like kind of Marty's activism he literally started this club in Hell's Kitchen called Hell's Kitchen Democrats and it started with like three members

in a living room and now there's like hundreds of members our friend Carl is in that oh yeah and they meet every week and Marty which is like a real

I think people are gonna see the show and be like you created these things and I'm like no this is real Marty has his therapy show right after Hell's Kitchen Democrats so he are going to see the show and be like, you created these things. And I'm like, no, this is real. Marty has his therapy show right after Hell's Kitchen Democrats. So he goes in face to the meeting

and like, you know, boy, fun and face on. And he like leads this meeting. He's like, hi everyone. Here's our new initiative.

We're like, we want to like, um, get out the word and have people like, uh, create safe spaces for people. And he gives this whole speech.

He's in face and he's like, I know I'm in face, but like I'm a drag queen. So like get over it. And it's like, it's just, and speech. He's in face and he's like, I know I'm in face, but like I'm a drag queen. So like get over it. And it's like, it's just, and then he puts up these posters and it's like, it's really beautiful because you're like,

this is just a human being. Like his drag has really nothing. Like I think maybe a byproduct of the show is some parts. Like the drag has nothing to do with it. It's just like, these are really awesome people, which is so cool. Um,

uh, wait, we have a funny Marty Gold coming. Sorry. I love when Matt and I went to go see, these are really awesome people. Which is so cool. Oh, wait, we have a funny Marty Gould coming. I love. I love. When Matt and I went to go see Sunset Boulevard, Marty Gould Cummings went too and was like in full drag. And I think, I forgot what she said, but she like greeted,

she said hello. She goes, can't wait for this fucking drag show. And then like walked in and it's fucking Glenn Close. Glenn Close like really serving. Yeah. And Marty Gould was there and it was very fun to see her. being up. Glenn Close like really serving. Yeah. Oh my God. And Marty Gold was there and it was very fun to see her. She's amazing.

Marty Gold in like fishy drag. Yeah, she looks great. Yeah, like she had like a fucking curly ponytail which is how you never I never see Marty like that. Because Marty actually didn't start this is part of an episode too.

Marty I'm like giving away everything but Marty didn't start wearing wigs until Drag Race because Drag Race auditions are this crazy thing. Yeah, I was going to ask, is it a topic with the girls on the show? We are steering clear of it because we don't want to fuck with World of Wonder. I know they have this monopoly of drag television shows.

It's pretty intense. It's intense. And I don't want to fuck with them. I'm like, here's our show. This is our aim. And I don't want there to be any reading of that. That's smart, that's smart, that's smart. But, that being said, Marty didn't start wearing wigs

until, like, his third time auditioning for Drag Race because he was like, oh, everyone on Drag Race has a wig, it's, like, a big part of the show. Like, don't take off your wig, you know, like, this is part of drag. You have to be able to wear them. You have to, yeah, of course.

Even Sasha. But, like, Marty, Marty, like, it wasn't a part of his drag and now is a part of his drag. And so I found that to be interesting because it's like, what,

and now he does wear wigs and you're like, that doesn't seem Marty to you. And to be honest, as Marty's friend, I think Marty looks best when he's in boy hair and face, to be honest.

It's an iconic look for Marty. Yeah. You're like, oh, that's a Marty Gould comic. Exactly. I like that. Like, I'm like, it looks, he looks like LaRue to me. Yeah. You're like, oh, that's a Marty Gould comic. Exactly. Yeah. I like that. Like, I'm like, he looks like LaRue to me. Yeah.

LaRue? ChiChi LaRue? No, like Bulletproof. Oh, Bulletproof. LaRue, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God, yeah. Oh, yeah, that's great. It's so interesting when you talk to a drag queen and you ask them, you bring it up.

Mm-hmm. Like, I wouldn't name any names now, but the thing is, like, when you bring up the show to certain queens and you ask if they've auditioned, it's kind of like a roll of the eyes or whatever, but you get this sense that it's this thing that they all kind of hate, but would be on in a second.

The relationship with the show is so strange. Well, think about it like Harold Knight. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or like SNL. That's a really good example. It's like, as comedians in New York, there are incredible comedians. You can go to any show

at any of the theaters in New York and be like, that person's fucking hysterical. Who is that person? And then they're on a team for a while and they do it and they're just a comedian in New York and they never get the acclaim. But then there are people that rise up super quickly that get SNL that are also super talented but it doesn't mean those other people are not super talented yeah and I think for drag race

it's become like drag race has made drag thankfully part of pop culture yeah which like is great for everyone and the LGBTQ community because like everyone's celebrating something that started with us but it's also made it like so they can't feel successful now unless they get on that show and like what happens for a queen like Tina Burner I think is literally one of the best queens in New York she's been

doing it for a while she slays and she you know we talk about Drag Race she's like I've auditioned she's like my videos get tons of views like the producers watch and live for it but then i'm not on and i'm like i honestly i think they're dumb to not put you on because you would be an amazing character and she might part of our show is we wanted the girls to be able to do drag race so like they can do drag race like and also be on the show they can also they probably would be like they would leave for a season to do it but like

they can do drag race because it's a part of the drag community in New York that they're going to want to do it. It is still aspirational no matter what. It's the ceiling. And I think many of the queens on the show are going to probably make it on Drag Race someday. Yeah, I think so too and I hope so for them. Like I think they're all, I love them all like so

much and I want them all to succeed which is why I put them on my show because I was like you guys are stars. They're all incredible, the queens that you've assembled for it, I think that Britta filter is like, in terms of the gay community, I think that's a future household name. Because the thing with Britta, and this is interesting,

she's like, I don't want to be on Drag Race, I want to be the next RuPaul. And I'm like, girl, yeah, you go do it, because I could see that for you. And she even breaks outside the boundaries of like, you know, that kind of drag where she'll fucking do a lip sync mix of a song with a Key and Peele sketch. A hundred percent. Like she is, she gets it.

Britta, star. What I would do is if I was her is I would wait till I had fucking 500,000 followers and then I would apply. And then I would Bianca Del Rio this shit and come in and just literally eat the competition. Well, that's the other thing. Like, do you do it when you're just, like, coming up and people are starting to live for you, and then you might not do super well in the competition,

and then that's it? Or do you wait until you're, like, an established queen, and then you're like, now I'm ready? That's what they look for now, I think. I mean, a lot of these queens that I'm hearing are going to be on the next season are big social media queens. I'm sure you've heard the rumors and things have been confirmed or whatever by people that we know.

But these queens that get on, they do have social media followings because World of Wonder, like any company, is going to want to have people get excited about their contestants. It's like how The Voice now and American Idol even, I think, recruit people to audition. You know what I mean? It's not this thing of, I came in from the field and I heard there was a singing competition and I love to sing in the mirror.

Let me strike on my number and see what happens. What's that girl's name? Carrie Underwood. That's literally not a made-up character. That's my impression of Carrie Underwood

from Chakotah, Oklahoma. But I think that TV is different now my impression of Carrie Underwood from Chakota, Oklahoma. But I think that TV is different now because social media has literally changed the game. Yeah, yeah. Television doesn't need these people. Just like MTV doesn't like, or musicians don't need MTV anymore. Or that these people don't need TV. Yeah, but yeah. Like these queens are great.

They can make their own content. They can, like all their pictures, their Instagram is basically like their resume at this this point and they're booked on the same shows as the big queens 100 like i just saw alissa edwards is doing a show at like scurrball and she's on it with i did it with britta she did it with yeah she did it with britta yeah like it was it was just i was like they're performing for the same crowds all those people and you know the show will sell out because it's alissa who i think is probably the biggest queen right now in terms of like i'm beyond obsessed i mean of course beyond obsessed of course and but all those people that came to the show will see britta and be obsessed you know what i mean and and i'm sure her numbers are skyrocketing in terms of followers i do think

that the next rupaul will come from that show. Uh-huh. But, but who knows what it'll be in the next generation. I disagree because that show sets it up where like, if you're the most successful

in Drag Race, you're the most successful from RuPaul's show. Right? It's not a, it's a show where it's like, it's someone's competition and RuPaul is,

I mean, the best. We love her, but like, it makes it impossible for someone to surpass her. Everyone's success will be tethered to Rue.

That's because we have yet to see what's going to happen with these spinoff shows. That's true. I mean, Alyssa Edwards is going to have her spinoff show, like, The House of Edwards. Trixie and Katya are going to have their spinoff show. Let's see how those play out. You could have someone break out. Maybe. I mean, remember, like...

But I think it's just as possible, and I think this is what Mike is saying, is that someone unassociated with the show might, like, like... But I think it's just as plausible, and I think this is what Mike is saying, is that someone unassociated with the show might, like, blow the fuck up in a way that's completely irrespective of that. Yeah. So, anyway. Literally, I mean, who knows what's gonna happen. Who knows.

Okay, let's move on to... Not, I don't think so, honey. Now we have a twist. Woo! We have a twist, because Mike Held, and I'll say this again, has a show running up at UCB currently called Yaz Honey.

Storytelling. Storytelling show at UCB Chelsea. And it will be two times a month. You can check UCBtheater.com or whatever and get on the schedule and you can see. And if you got, I'm going to do a quick plug. All the queens we were just talking

about on my show, we're doing, it's going to be a drag show October 26th. Spooky show October 26th. Spooky. October 26th. The day before Kelly Clarkson's album comes out.

Exactly. And we timed that out perfectly. But I'm doing my 30 minute storytelling show and then it's becoming a drag show and like five of the girls

on my show are doing numbers. Oh, huge. That's huge. And again, that show's directed by Shannon O'Neill and I'm going to put

the pressure on right now because I'm going to say it on her. Have we asked her to be on this show? Okay. Well, we'll reach out again because we asked her to be on this show? Okay. Well, we'll reach out again because I really wanted

to come on this show. She's the best. The best and also the busiest but she can clear a goddamn date. She can clear. Endlessly interesting. Okay.

She can clear. We're not doing I Don't Think So Honey. We're doing a Yes Honey. So this is where we take one minute to go positive on something

that we love in culture and we've never done this. No, this is huge. And we've been read by one Josh Sharp one minute to go positive. Okay. On something that we love in culture. Yes. And we've never done this. No, this is huge. And we've been read by one Josh Sharp in the last I Don't Think So Honey live. And he said, I don't think so, honey. I don't think so, honey. Well, Josh, tonight we agree.

Yeah. Yes, honey, is going to be one minute on the clock and we're going to go positive. Okay. About something that we love in culture. Yes. I love. This is good edge. Because you are good edge, famously. Love you guys. And we're going to be good edge. I love. This is good edge. Because you are good edge, famously.

Love you guys. And we're going to be good edge. We're going to be good edge. Do you want to start? Do you have something? I have something. Okay, bitch. I have my notes here, too.

I wrote a bunch of things. There you go. I'm really excited. I'm smiling. I love this. I want you to time it. I'll time it. I have my notes in front of me.

Here we go. This is Matt Rogers' Yas, Honey. One minute. Time starts now. Here we go. This is Matt Rogers' Yaz Honey. One minute. Time starts now. Yaz Honey, Demi Lovato. Yes! You look amazing in a new video.

Sorry. I'm not sorry. Oh. I voice cracked, but you know what? Demi Lovato doesn't. Demi, I love your high ponytail. I love your makeup. You're a beat to the gods in every video.

You look amazing. Also, Demi, I love that in every music video you're in, there's a pool. Chlorine, bitch. Keep it chlorinated. Demi, I love your Miami aesthetic. I always see your name written in neon lights. In fact, that's the name of one of your songs. 30 seconds.

Demi, not only do you back worthwhile charities and causes like the Jed Foundation, but you show up for them, honey. Yes, honey. You put your money where your mouth is. Not like your trash ex-bex friend, Selena Gomez, who takes money from people suffering. Ooh, she makes money from suicide. I don't like her.

Oh, my God. Yes, honey, Demi Lovato. That's not wrong. Thank you for putting a talented and real face on mental illness and struggles facing many people, especially young people. And I love you. You have an an amazing voice and your idol is kelly clarkson like me oh and that's one minute i love demi lovato demi's good she's talented she's a good one she's gonna blow her fucking voice out pretty stop it this is yes honey that's okay this is yeah i'm not okay there's

nothing better than a diva that blows it out before 25 Selena Gomez is evil Bad gaskets Alright this is it This is mine This is yours I did not prepare for this as much That's on you Alright here we go I have one

And Bowen Yang's Yes Honey starts now Yes Honey Tabasco flavored cheeses They are my number one favorite cracker! Do not give me Ritz sandwiches. Do not give me Ritz bits. That's what they're called. Do not even give me white cheddar Cheez-Its, honey! I want the tangy spicy taste that is just

right. It's a low, mild on the Scoville scale, which is the scale for spiciness, for capsaicin, which is the spice chemical that, you know, whenever you taste something spicy, that's capsaicin, which is the spice chemical that, you know, whenever you taste something spicy, that's capsaicin, bitch! Alliteration ho! And I love me some Tabasco-flavored Cheez-Its. They are my favorite cracker

whenever you are, if you're drunk, if you're sober, if you're a little bit stoned, you love yourself some Tabasco-flavored Cheez-Its, bitch! I love it when I'm watching TV. I love it when I'm talking on the phone with my friends. I love it when I am just playing my video games on my $600 laptop, bitch. I love it.

And look, if you want to buy some Tabasco-flavored Cheez-Its, run, don't walk. Five seconds. Get thee to a funnery to the Tabasco-flavored Cheez-It grocery store, bitch. That's one minute. Yes, honey. Yes, honey. Oh, my God. This is a true thrill.

I love it. I want to try that. I want to try it too. Delicious, delicious. You must. You'll love it. With a little bit of marijuana. With a little bit of marijuana. They're the Brita Filter of crackers, bitch. Okay. Everyone will love. They're the Brita Filter crackers? They're the Brita Filter of crackers. Oh! Everyone will love. I love that. Yes, honey. Everyone will love.

It's crackers. Alright, so now it's Mike Kelton and he's gonna do a yes honey and this is amazing I wanna I wanna let you

everyone know listening I haven't decided what this is gonna be until literally he says go and this is this is

a for real thing I literally haven't decided are you still on Harold Knight's some kid um yes

yes yeah I had to take a break to work on the show but I'm coming back decided Are you still on Harold Knight's Some Kid? Yes Yes Yeah I had to take a break to work on the show But I'm coming back Well there you go The glorious return So let's add to the credit She's on Some Kid With the amazing former guest of our show

Monique Moses Monique Here we go Now This is Mike Helton's Yes honey And his time starts now Yes honey

Do you want to know who's the best? Maggie Rogers is the best And if you want to know who's the best? Maggie Rogers is the best. And if you don't know who she is, now you know. Maggie Rogers is one of the best musicians I've ever heard in my entire life. Oh, my goodness, man. She started with a YouTube video of her doing a master class at NYU with Pharrell. And he's like, oh, my God, I hear this song about Alaska. And she's like, I'm living for it.

She's very, very spiritual. And here's the thing. I saw her two weeks ago or a month ago in Brooklyn and she started out the concert by saying, I just want everyone to know this is a safe space for everyone. And we welcome everyone. If you're a refugee, if you're gay, if you're whatever, I don't give a fuck and I love you.

And I love that. Also, she's very, very spiritual. And I feel like I've known her in a past life, which is a very for real thing Yes honey And she talks about that stuff And also she has a new album Coming out

Because there's Four songs that she already has Like Alaska And a couple other ones A very good energy And you should have sex To one of those songs But here's the thing

Next album Is going to be dancey And even gay Maggie Rogers Yes honey Yes honey That's one minute Oh my gosh

Maggie Rogers I've never heard of her Maggie Rogers Really Can I say heard of her. Maggie Rogers. Really? Can I say something? You love her. Wow, how producer Alex loves her. Can I say something?

This is really beautiful because you know what just happened. What? My dog named Maggie just passed away. Maggie Rogers. That was my... Wait, her name was Maggie Rogers? Her name was Maggie Rogers. She was 10 years old.

She was the sweetest. She was the sweetest dog that lived in the world. And I've never heard of this person, Maggie Rogers, until you said that. And I do believe that this is a cosmic... Part of Maggie Rogers, the dog's soul. This is a cosmic moment. Because I was, in my head,

I was going to do Maggie Rogers or Seltzer. And I decided last minute to do Maggie Rogers. And you know what that is, Mike? That's God. That's God. That's God. You know what? That's God. That's God. Everything is God. Everything

comes from God. God is amazing. God is an amazing thinker. God is an amazing thinker. And is an amazing figure. And it is only God I will follow. Here you go. Spiritual. Now, this has been a spiritual episode.

Oh, we love. Of Mike Kelton on, I don't think so, well, on Las Veritas. Do you want to share that thing you were going to say before? At the beginning of the podcast, you were like, I'm going to spill some tea on what Mike Kelton said To me Oh yes So I was hosting a show

At UCB with Brooke Shields Which went great Did you stay and watch it? Didn't have to go home Tired So it went great But I was walking backstage And I said how was Yes Honey?

Because it had opened that night. Yes, yes. And he said, you know, went through some strife when I was naming the show because I thought it was too similar to I Don't Think So Honey. No way. But you know what? I named it Yes Honey anyway. Thank God.

And he didn't even care. He thought, will it affect them? And then he thought, you know what? I don't give a fuck. I'm Mike Kelton. No. I dwarf these hoes. He dwarfs these hoes, stunts on them by naming his show slightly adjacent to other shows,

but he surpasses them. That's Mike Kelton for you. Wow. I love you a lot. I love you guys so much. And I'm really happy that you came and did this. Thank you. This is great.

This is really fun. Maybe we do again. Maybe we do again. Maybe we do again. For the next big proj. I love. In fact, you know, it would be fun if you came with one of the queens. For next time. That'd be fun.

Because, you know, I've been wanting to ask Bridget to come on. Oh, she'd be great. Oh, my God. That would be fun. Honestly, it would be a joy. Do you know Christy Chelo? I love Christy Chelo. She was so obsessed with her when we did a show with her that Christy was also on that she had Britta on her podcast.

And they got along like famous old queens. Well, Britta is such a star and also her voice is so sexy. So, yeah, we'll come back with Britta, honestly. I love that. Love it. So yeah, we'll come back with Britta. Honestly. I love that. And this is an amazing person and I'm also joined right here with an amazing person and that's Bowen Yang. He is my sister.

This is my rock. And we have been crying many tears. But that's okay. We've been crying. We've been dying. We've been crying. We've been dying. We've been lying.

We've been lying. We've been crying. We've been dying. We've been dying. We've been dying. We've been lying. Okay. That's enough. Cut it off.

Okay, sorry. He thinks because he went to musical theater school, he's better than us. Kill him, Bo. Oh! No! Bo. Oh! Ow! Ow! Oh! No!

Not my dick! Forever Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team and liking our page on Facebook. I'm Julian Edelman. I'm Rob Gronkowski.

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