Last Podcast On The Left - Best of: Alien Abductions

Episode Date: November 25, 2022

What's the perfect cure for that "post-Thanksgiving" hangover? It's a brand new "Best Of" episode, this time exploring the terrifying and sometimes titilating world of Alien Abductions.Episodes Featured:Episode 72: Alien Implants and AbductionsEpisode 284: The Travis Walton Abduction - Fire In The SkyEpisode 156: The Coronado Group AbductionEpisode 170: Betty and Barney Hill Part II - Don't Think I Can't Take ItEpisode 477: Elizabeth Klarer - Push The Red Button LPOTL returns next week with a brand new episode! 

So I swear to the Dark Lord that this is true, I had a dream this weekend we were in Indianapolis in Grand Rapids. I want to say thank you to everybody who came out and saw our live shows right before Thanksgiving. It was a blast to be in your tundra-like world, which does have, it does get sad in there. It does feel like the sad scenes from planes, trains, and automobiles in Grand Rapids, but everybody was super friendly. The beer was awesome, blah blah blah, just thank you. But this is true. So while I was there, I had a dream that aliens came and abducted me. Like it was because I do have these dreams as we were preparing for this best of episode. Like I was listening to some of these episodes again and so I always get alien

dreams and I swear I go in, I'm in the UFO and I'm on a table, I'm on a slab and I look over and I see fucking Kessel is there too and it's like the worst sight of him possible, right? Because I look over and he's got like a surgical gown on but it's like open from the back and I mean you've just never seen, you know, he's not here. I get to do this by myself so I get to do, I can say whatever I want about him. He legitimately looks like if Shrek was pink. Like if you see him from behind, because there are times when it's like his pants that does dip and you just see his butt looks like an evil moon, you know? But I look and I saw his crack and I saw his like his weird pasty red back and his head turned to me and he literally went,

you know, they said they weren't into the live show. Yeah, they weren't in the whole rundown. Every single thing that you talked about, they weren't into. And it's like you talk about the Greys. He's like, yeah, yeah, they hated it every minute of it. So thanks. It's good to get a review from another species in my dreams. Welcome to last podcast on the left. Thanksgiving best of edition. We are off for the week. Our editors are sleeping, not having to hear a scream. Everybody else has run away for the week but we are here now and I want to explain why we are doing this because it's Thanksgiving and one thing that's really nice and you might be amongst your family right now, it would be nice to have something fucking different to talk about besides anything

that's happening in current pop culture. Like wouldn't be nice to be like, yeah, I got abducted last week and definitely got space raped and then everyone be like, oh, great. Oh, that's something new. Thank Christ. Christina came, you know, but today we're covering some best of alien abduction material. We got a good collection of old and new. You can kind of see, I think what's fun is you see the scope of alien abductions and how we have treated them and how it goes all the way from our star, Whitley Streber, all the way up to sweet, sweet Elizabeth Clare, who was just looking to get effed. But thank you guys for listening. We'll be back next week with Jack Parsons number three and back to regular schedule programming just, you know, in general. And also by then,

we will be smiling because we'll be filled with wine. All right. Hail Satan. We'll see you on the other side. Man, I'm so excited for this episode today. We're going to be talking all about aliens and finally back to some real news. And this does this actually does feel like the most real news that we've ever covered before. Some real stuff. Were you here for last week's episode? Some real stuff we're going to get into today. I mean, some real things, some important hot button issues. First of all, before we even get into this, you know, I'm just going to first like, no, no, no, no, the truth is out there. Oh, that was your I've been watching a lot of X files recently. I've been drinking white Russians smoking weed and watching X files every night before going to bed. You know,

that's a really healthy thing for someone of your psyche to do. I drink about two jelly jars full of white Russian before going to bed. I love that a weight of measurement for you is a jelly jar. How many jelly jar? I don't know. How much jelly can one eat over six months? A lot. You know, I've been I've been also up in my jelly intake. Good. But I'm getting focused. Well, I'll tell you, whatever past life your toilet had, it was bad because your toilet is currently living a toilet hell. I really think that my toilet was mangled. Yeah, it must have been. It must have been. So let's just poop rape in that toilet. Well, I'm sure he's figuring out everything that's wrong with human beings. I took a I must have took a six pound dump the other day.

You know what? Let's edit it out. That's disgusting. No one wants to think about it. So all right, today we're getting into a new subset of the alien genre of thought alien implants and also some of the meaning behind alien abductions. Sadly, it's got a lot to do with the reptilians today. The big thing is to remember like when we talk about this is that we have what the government I mean refuses to reveal. Absolutely. They're weak minded. But we've had close relations. She was up to 12 different alien races, the reptilians are just one of them from Alpha Draconis. And you know, and yes, they're a part of the NWO. That's a whole other thing. You know, then again, who am I to say I'm just a puppet? You know what I mean? I'm just another

radio puppet of whatever reptilian ghosts is floating in my brain right now. Absolutely. So let's start off talking about the grandfather of this sort of alien implant type situation, what not, a fellow named Whitley Stryber. Now, I listen to one of the most compelling episodes of Coast to Coast I've ever heard in my life. Whitley Stryber was on recently. He's been on Coast to Coast many times for years. He's one of the most important figures in alien research. What makes him so important in alien research? He wrote a book called Communion, which was also turned into a movie starting Christopher Walken, which is terrible. But he how is Walken in it? He's stuttery and walking. He's just walking. He's Christopher Walken.

Right. He has been playing Christopher Walken like a minstrel show for approximately 30 years. And by the way, can I just say this? No more Walken memes. I'm sick of walking into a bar. You know, this is me walking whatever. No more Christopher Walken puns. I'm over. We get it. His last name is Walken. He's a mean man. He's very mean. And he hates his life. What's up? He did kill Natalie Wood. He was a fucking murderer. He's a murderer. So everybody who's listening to this, if you live in Los Angeles, go to his house with big signs that say Christopher Walken. Who murdered Natalie Wood? You. You did it. You did it. You did it. You did it. No more. These boots were made for Walken. No more Walken memes. He's a murderer. He's a murderer.

He's a killer. And he was mean to Hong Kong, Henry Zabrowski. No reason to be mean to somebody with such a sunshiney face. Somebody who only walks around just want to put a smile on him. Only want to tell people about how, you know, maybe, you know, a different alien race is inside of you. And that's why I don't like you. We're going to get to that. We will be getting that. Okay. Let's go back. So Whitley Stryber, he wrote this book communion, which is about his various abduction scenarios. I'm just going to read through where it all started with Whitley Stryber. So he was actually abducted. Yes. Okay. He was a well-known author. He wrote several horror novels. He wrote The Howling, the book for The Howling. And there's another one. It was

several werewolf books. Okay. They got turned into movies. Before Twilight and all those other werewolf movies destroyed the werewolf. Before and Hemlock Grove. Yikes. All right. So Whitley Stryber, he had a cabin in the woods. I forget exactly. Oh, it was in Northern New York. Okay. And he experienced one night an incredible, an incredible abduction. It was 1985. He was a security conscious guy. He was like this very paranoid, weird guy. Survivalist of sorts. And he even said on this interview is that he was the last person in the fucking world who had ever copped to the idea of aliens being real. He thought that anybody that believed that aliens was a fucking moron. Right. And he said he specifically said it in a drunken argument with

his brother-in-law. His brother-in-law gave him this book randomly, just being like aliens, the truth in space. And he was just like, fuck you, you're a moron. I'll never do this. Oh, that's when you pull your sister aside and be like, why the fuck did you marry Tim? Yeah. What are you thinking? Because he's got that long down Whitley. You know what? Conversations done. Oh, and he's making his squish in my bottle. Okay. Well, you know what? That's fine. He's a nice guy. I don't care anymore. Let's just get through Christmas. Jesus Christ. So we activated his security system at 11 p.m. on December 26, also very interesting day. In 1985, what was the security system? Just

twisted sister would play. Somebody opened the door. It was just a bunch of cans. Yeah. Yeah. A bunch of cans like tied to a thing of Kirk Cameron. Yeah. A big like life size cut out of Kirk Cameron like in front of the door. Yeah. Family ties just starts playing on the TV. Someone's in my living room. So he, his alarm system goes off in the middle of the night, but his wife doesn't wake up. Okay. He wakes up and he's like, there must be something. Someone's robbing my house. Someone's coming for my novels. Think about it. It's not true. No one ever robs a novelist. No, no, no, no. He walks down into the living room and he sees a creature. Next thing you know, he wakes up and he is in his woods. Okay. He's

out in the middle of the woods. He's got a pain in the side of his head and a pain in his foot. And he has no idea what happened. So basically he comes home. He thinks he's had some kind of episode and he goes to a doctor. His doctor like checks him basically like his diagnosis is, is that he had a seizure. Okay. So something's still not sitting right. He's incredibly uncomfortable all the time. He keeps flashing back and dreaming. Not a hammer. Okay. No, he wasn't Ed Larson. That's good. Man, his hemorrhoids are just like, too fucking like, it's like you could see the redness of his hemorrhoids through his pants. Yeah. Just watch a video about, uh, on orangutans butts. And it's pretty much Henry, Ed Larson.

Don't do that. Don't do personally like that. I'm sorry. That's the one fat, man, physical ailment I do not have. Yes. Um, so he goes to the doctor. The doctor checks out all his body. He's like, well, maybe you had some kind of seizure. So he goes to a hypnotist eventually cause he keeps having these nightmares. And in this dream, like basically in this session, he is visited by four different alien races. One is a tiny robot. One is a short stout fat little man. Uh-huh. Yeah. Not me. I wasn't there. You know, could have been a doppelganger of me or the prototype of me. If we want to say my DNA strain was built from some sort of alien hybrid race, or you could say I keep jumping forward or a future version of you that has traveled back in

time. Super. Yeah, exactly. The super human theory. Exactly. Did these aliens make him less greedy? Did he learn a valuable lesson? No, no longer a miser. It ruined his life like it ruins everybody's life. Oh, okay. Uh, so he, they, they stuck a needle into his brain. They stuck a needle like through his eye into his brain. Okay. They stuck a tube up his asshole and they put, um, they put an implant in his ear. And what he said is that during that time, two people, two humans dressed in lab coats came out of the, from the side areas and they, they opened up his ear and they put in this white disc into, into his face, right? And ever since then, he would be like, as the years progressed in that cabin, constantly abducted. Like it was doing something to get

abducted. Was he out there like people do on ghost adventures? Like, where are you? Where are you? Come on, aliens. I'm out here all naked and things with this asshole up in the air. Well, the thing was, he said that he kept it secret for years. He didn't tell his wife that he was experiencing these things because he was pretty certain that he had been raped. He was like, I had been raped by a man in the woods and my brain is processing it this way. He still refused to believe it. And if you want to know like, what do I keep secret in life? Like that's one of the experiences you keep seeking. You do that. If you've been forcibly raped in the woods. Oh yeah, that's sad. It's just like, you can't be like, oh, how's Gregory doing in school?

Like, oh, no, he's doing really good. I was raped yesterday. Oh, that is a shame. Isn't that bad? So, Whitley is not admitting to himself that he is violently raped by aliens. Yes. And basically, like over time, it keeps happening over and over and over again, to the point where he finally tells his wife, she says that she's experiencing the same thing where it's like she'd wake up in the woods. And it got to the point where he's like, I need to make some sort of peace with these creatures or whatever's going on. He called them the visitors. For a long time, he would never even say the term aliens. Because then again, we live in an alien shaming like society. Because if you want to believe that the MJ-12 set this up fucking in the 1950s,

which is the idea that in order to fully suppress the idea that aliens are abducting people or visiting earth at all, is that you have to ridicule anybody who says anything about aliens. Right. So essentially, The MJ-12? The Majestic-12 group that were a part of the original alien cover-up crew for Roswell. Okay. Well, that's a whole other episode. Yeah, we'll get into that later. We could do nine episodes just in what we're going to talk about today. Yeah. So, Whitley and his wife are going to be raped at night. And they start like trying to commune with the visitors. But he came to terms with it.

And now he sort of like supports these visitors coming. Okay. For a long time, he could almost conjure them. They would sit and they would try to make contact with visitors, like basically just thinking about it, which is now you'd call remote viewing. We didn't know that they were doing it at the time, sort of projecting your consciousness up to like speak with the visitors. It's a deep meditation type situation. And that they would come and he'd bring scientists from all over the world to stay at his cabin. And they were seeing stuff. He said this fucking crazy story about how he would specifically brought this again. But then it's always like an anonymous person that he brought to his house

because his job is too important to remotely be connected to anything alien wise. He was like an editor of a big time magazine is what he said. So, the editor is sleeping down in the basement. He has another separate couple sleeping in another room. Okay. He basically they're all asleep. Whitley's asleep. He doesn't he doesn't experience any of this. The couple see an entity like in the room. It pops up in the room. They wake up and there's a full visitor in the room. Okay. And they're they've seen it several times now. So, they're like kind of calm with it. They're like, okay. They were just like, we know if like, we know you're here. We give you permission to be here. Like, like granting it like like psychic thing. And they were like, is there

something that you want me to do for you? The visitor said to him. And then he had the whole house wired with cameras. So, he could try and capture this. But this is still 1985. This is 1985. Yeah. So, okay. So, it's like a 90 pound camera and a beta tape. So, as they were maybe she's they were like, if you could do something for us, could you walk down the hallway to downstairs, go downstairs to the editor's room and show him that you're here. So, they met an alien from another world. You could ask him anything. You could ask anything that he would want to do. Because they wanted to play a prank, though, for all intents and purposes on the editor that they wanted to do a camera thing. You scare my buddy. Come down. He's gonna love it. He's gonna

love it. Barry's gonna get a fucking kick out of this. It's gonna be crazy. No, I don't want to know the secrets of the universe. They hit line that whole hallway with banana peels. So, you should see there's several YouTube links. So, there's like the Benny Hill theme coming on and there's some alien is like, slipping down the hallway. So, he asked, so he walks past the cameras. Of course, nothing gets caught, but he walks down to the editor's like bed. He sits on the end of the he wakes up and there's an entity sitting on the end of the bed. And then Whitley describes it sometimes. What these aliens do in response to fear is that like anything, we'll talk about this a lot just in terms of abduction scenarios and like altogether. It's like anything.

It's like people who have visions of the afterlife. Your brain makes things the way your brain wants it to be. Like when you watch something, you're gonna get whatever you give. So, a lot of times when these visitors experience human fear, what he says that they do is that they reflect it back. And so, when he popped up, he was incredibly scared. So, this entity on the thing and according to him, it literally, it had its back turned to him and then it turned to face him and its face turned into this fucking hawk creature face. This like crazy huge thing, like literally like and then snapped and disappeared and he literally went, ran screaming from the house. So, he was like, they came out to him and he's just like, I can't fucking be here. I can't see, I can't deal with

this shit anymore. He scared the alien away. Yeah, yeah. Always remember, the alien is more scared than you are. But you're gonna see this a lot in all abduction scenarios. You're gonna see people seeing cartoonish UFOs. Like in one abduction scenario, a guy looked out his window and he saw two raccoons the size of tigers in his tree. Like they were sitting there like in his avocado tree and then the next thing you know, he wakes up and he's in a field. Oh, that just happens. That happens in Mexico. That's huge over there. Or just the man in a raccoon concerted like a costume just like gotten done like handing out menus for some sort of raccoon themed garbage pail restaurant. Yeah, it's a good restaurant. You got to check it out. Racoonies.

Racoonies. Yeah, right. I love racoonies. You just dig through it. Just like trash can just filled with stew. Yeah. Just dig your hands in it. It's okay. It's okay. Go live. Go live. You're live. Just $5 every day. You're like, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot. Oh, that is good stew. It is good stew. I'm so glad. Oh, apple cores. And through the resources from the National Enquirer, APRO was able to hire their own hypnotherapist who was able to unlock Travis's memories to give us the full story of just what happened after his friends sped off into the darkness to leave him at the mercy of extraterrestrial beings. What follows is the account Travis gave to Penthouse Magazine, which along with all the

letters and piss actually had some pretty good journalism here and there. All right. Unfortunately, yes, the really good condensed version of his abduction was in Penthouse Magazine, but I do back up this complete account because I have listened to, and I swear to God, I've listened to seven different Travis Walton speeches. I'm talking over 12 hours of Travis Walton. I've listened to over the last week and he hits all these exactly. He has the story down. Yeah. So, okay. I back this up. Now, the moment the beam hit Travis, he blacked out. He didn't even remember hitting the ground for a time. He faded in and out of consciousness. The only thing he remembered from that period was a light a few feet above and intense pain in his head and

chest. When he woke up fully, he was lying on a table and noticed that the room he was in was hot and humid. The air so wet, he could hardly breathe. And loggers thrive in that because their chest here is going to actually, loggers chest here can actually bring in moisture like a plant. Makes sense. Then Travis heard movement as his eyes adjusted. Travis saw that he was in the presence of three alien creatures. They were a little under five feet tall with large bald domed heads. Their eyes were gigantic and surprisingly brown. No eyelashes and no eyebrows. And when they blinked, the lids slid down and rolled back up again like pulldown window shades. Oh, you don't got to tell me their skin was white and marshmallow. That was his words.

Those are that is Travis Waltons words. Marshmallow. Yeah, marshmallow. Take a little bite out of their mouths, ears and noses were tiny. But Travis does admit they may have been normal sized features on a huge head, making them look tiny like Haley Joe Osmond. Yeah, he's got like a full he's got a boy's face on a big fat alcoholics head. Right. He's kind of like, um, it's like Paul Giamatti. If he had alopecia, they're very intense looking drawings of them. They're very, I mean, obviously very otherworldly. We're going to see a lot of different variations in the idea of grace. He said that they did look like robots. That's a further. That's another thing he did scrum that they moved very strangely. And they were very soft. Interesting. You're also describing

if she shaved her head, Sarah Huckabee Sanders. Yes, a tiny little face and there's so much stuff around. Yeah, she's got tiny face. Very straight. Yeah, very strange indeed. Now Travis understandably freaked out once he realized aliens were standing over him. So he lashed out and hit the creatures to his right, who he said was surprisingly light and fell into the next one, knocking them both over. The way it seems like it's like, if you ever, like, if you ever wanted to look at like a 85 year old woman and know you could just like snap her arms by pulling on her wrist. Yeah. Like you could just grab an old woman and like push her down real hard and it'd be really easy. It was like that. I don't know. Yeah. I really don't do that. Yeah. You know, I never thought

about that beating up an old woman, not beating up an old woman, how easy it would be to beat up an old woman. I'm six point seven. I look at you when I think that even though you're wiry and tough. Yeah, I am. I'm like a deceptively strong. Oh yeah, man. Like a piece of jerky that's just been sitting out on a cabinet for weeks. You're not old trapper. I can't be knocked over. I know no one's ever knocked you over. So Travis stood up and staggered backwards against the wall near some shelves. He saw a clear tube and figured he could break off the end and use it as a stabbing tool bar fight style. But when he tried to break it, he found the tube was unbreakable and was too light to be used as a club. Travis said as he was smashing the tube into the shelf

over and over again, the aliens held up their hands and what sounds like the universal gesture for just be cool, man. Calm down. Be cool. Be cool. This I am clack, sir. This is my friend. I think his name is also clack, sir. We've never exchanged names before. Hi. Hello. Why don't we been working together for six months? We should have had some sort of intro by now. But listen, I, we just need you to cool out, cool out. We're going to put this tube up your penis. It will be fine. Trust us. Ask Barney Hill. He loved it. Horrified. When Travis refused to cool out, the aliens turned and hurried out the room through a hallway. Travis at a loss for what to do walked the same way. But as the aliens had turned right

down the corridor, Travis took a left. There's also remembering there's a part of you with the way that he describes the environment of the UFO, I think is very important is that it's looks like brush metal gray. It is all gray. It's like he's an entire, it looks like aluminum foil, the other side of it. And all there's no seams on the walls. He's in this big triangle shape room that leads to another weirdly organically shaped tube that he goes back out into the hallway. So it feels like, which is another interest because I was reaching Richard Dolan's new book UFOs for the 20th first century mine. And he brought up another idea of that the idea of a craft is also alive, that the craft could also possibly be an entity. Why are you fucking snickering at me? Yeah,

because that, because that was in fucking Battlestar Galactica. Yeah, good for them. UFOs for the 21st century mine. Yeah. When did UFOs for the 21st century mine come out? Go fuck yourself. I'm looking at this thing. Don't get into a nerd battle over this 2014. 2014. Yes. Yeah. But I'm just saying Battlestar Galactica was 2007. Richard Dolan's UFOs for a 21st century mine is a very good collection of all that cover up for look at it. Look how cool that cover is. It's Richard Dolan, his head. What was that TV show as a kid? Money Python. Yes. Yeah. It's like the art of Terry Gilliam, the animation of Terry Gilliam. Wonderful artist. But technically he can just say anything, right? No. I am just, I am just in a, I am just in a

slit today. I am the angriest I've ever been. Sorry. So Travis walked down the hallway until a door opened to his right. He walked in to find a round room with nothing but a metal chair on a single pole sitting in the middle facing the other direction. Travis carefully approached the chair thinking he might find someone sitting there waiting for him. But he found that as he walked closer and closer, the lights grew dimmer and the darker it got, the more it stars, Travis could see all around him above, below, everywhere, like an all-encompassing planetarium. And when he got to the chair, Travis saw that there was a panel of buttons and a small green screen on the right armrest while the left only had a lever. Travis looked across the room and

saw some rectangular patterns, which he figured to be doors. And he thought that maybe one of the buttons on the chair armrest might open the door. So he just started pushing them. Henry, is this how you would react if you were abducted? It seems like just a drunk father trying to watch the Super Bowl and he can't figure out how to turn the TV on. Well, he is not nearly as prepared as Dwayne. So he got there. Of course, he's very scared. He's very disoriented. He's in a lot of pain. He was thrown by the blue beam. He has his shoulder hurt. She's all fucked up. He doesn't want to do so. He's scrambling. What I imagine I would do is coolly, calmly, sit, go through the investigation with the aliens. I would describe to them, honestly, I am as just as invested in this phenomenon as

you are as workers, as your subject. And I'm willing to meet you 50-50 to really get to the crux of what it is you're discovering. What are you trying to discover? How can I help you? Oh, all right. Well, when nothing happened, when Travis pressed all the buttons, he decided to try the lever. He found that when he pushed the lever, the stars moved while staying in their same astrological position. It sounds to me like Travis stumbled upon some sort of super cool interactive star map. Yeah, that's fucking awesome. That's cool as shit. Yeah, dude. You plug that into your PS4, man. That's just cool as shit. But after a bit, Travis figured he should probably stop screwing around with mysterious

buttons and levers. He left it all alone. But as soon as he stopped, he heard a noise. He turned around and saw a man standing there, just a regular run of the mill white dude. The only thing that set him apart physically were his eyes, which looked slightly larger than normal and were shining bright gold. Like Shia LaBeouf. Yes. Travis said the guy was about six foot, well built and wore a tight blue jumpsuit with a clear bubble helmet. And Travis started yelling and screaming, but the stranger gave no answer. He just smiled. He waited for Travis to calm down and took him by the arm to lead him out of the star room. Travis figured the guy hadn't answered because he couldn't hear on account of the helmet.

So Travis went along hoping for answers down the line. Should the helmet be removed, you would think that they would have like some kind of device in the helmet that would allow the person to hear. Not as prepared as Dwayne. But that was Travis's idea, not as prepared as Dwayne. And that was a little Travis, his immediate response to the thing he couldn't hear because of the helmet. But we don't know, but maybe he didn't want to talk or maybe he was not in fact a human, but in fact the Nordic and could not speak to him. They walked together to an airlock and when they got to the other side, the atmosphere seemed to change. The dank wetness was replaced by a cool freshness. And Travis said, what? No, it just sounds like trying new deodorant.

The dank wetness will be replaced with a cool, whatever, the cool freshness. Travis said the light was bright like sunlight. They walked through what Travis assumed to be a hanger of sorts as he saw three UFOs similar to the one that had taken him parked inside. Once they were through the hanger, the stranger brought Travis through the hallway to another room where two men and a woman were waiting. These three weren't wearing helmets and all had long, dirty blonde hair. Strangers sat Travis down and left the room. Travis tried to ask him where the hell he was and what the hell they were doing. But again, they just smiled and stared. Welcome to Los Angeles. So glad that you moved here. So what kind of race are we talking here with the

aliens? Nordics. These are Nordics. And what are they all about again? Sex. Bring it into an episode about this at some point where I wanted to do another episode we will do is we will talk about specifically Nordic abductions. And I gotta tell you what, it's pretty fucking saucy. Okay. Yeah, they milk you, but they milk you in a good way. Oh, I see. Good milking. The woman then stood up, took Travis by the arm and started leading him to another table. Travis started to get a little agitated again. They pulled something like an oxygen mask over Travis's face. And before he could reach up to pull it off, he was unconscious again. The next thing he knew, he was standing next to the highway outside Haber, Arizona, watching one of the craft he'd seen in the

hangar hovering above him. A light went out as if a hatch was closing and the UFO shot straight up into the air without a sound. And out of the five days that he'd been missing, Travis claims this was the only chunk of time he remembered. And what he said was that he all told when he talked to the hypnotherapist afterwards, it seemed like it's really just he remembers about 20 minutes of that time period. So five days total though, huh? Yeah, five days he was gone. Yikes. So on March 14th, 1994, Mike Evans and his wife were visited by extraterrestrials in their hotel room. And on the very same night, several of their friends who were staying in adjacent rooms in the same hotel were also experiencing an encounter. So basically,

there was a line of people all together that were all staying on the same floor, not at the Hotel Del Coronado. It was a place called the Village Inn. Now, because Yvonne Smith, who was like the so a very, I guess, famous UFO researcher and hypnotherapist named Yvonne Smith helped collect all of these stories together in a series of hypnotic regressions on the Hotel Del Coronado night. And she wrote a book called Coronado, which includes a bunch of transcripts of her hypnotherapy sessions. And that's what I have with me today. And now so Mike Evans, what's what's really interesting is how it all happened at once. And they all heard each other get abducted. And how did the aliens do it was like a room service, room service, go away,

go away. That is very funny. Yeah, it's possible. No, no, no, no, absolutely not. That would just be if you were vacationing in like Columbia and you were just getting taken by a bunch of gorillas. So we're going to read some regressions of what happened that night. All of them basically said the same thing. They arrived that Friday. They all were every single one of them remarks of being like, and it was the smallest bathroom I've ever seen. Now, these people go into this hotel room of the Village Inn and anybody who is abducted by aliens, I don't know if it's just being the abducted by aliens, but like just the either the type of people they just choose or the they're all real weird and all the nerds. I feel terrible for the people working the Village Inn that weekend.

That sucks when the UFO convention rolls through town. Absolutely. So the night of Saturday. So they all kind of had like a get together. So they're all there for the this conference. Bill Clinton's also there eating mayonnaise straight out of a packet somewhere in the hotel. And this so Saturday night is when the events took place. Each one of these abductions began with the same thing with the whole room getting bathed with sort of a blue light. And I'm going to have Ben Kissel here read the part of Yvonne Smith with me. Yvonne Smith is the hypnotherapist that by the way, let's give a some of Yvonne Smith's credentials very quickly before we get into this. After two years of study in a thousand hours of internship at the California Hypnosis

Motivation Institute, the only accredited hypnosis college in the United States. And he was just showing up, right? Like he was just like, well, I'm your intern now. But the problem with the Hypnosis Institute is that they just go like, welcome to the Institute. Five, four, three, two, you're getting sleepy. You're getting sleepy. One, when you open your eyes, you will have graduated from the hypnotist. Five, four, coming out of the hypnosis, you're feeling less sleepy. Two, one. That is pretty much all I remember from college. It's about accurate. Is that the wedding song? Oh, that's nice. She's got her she got her hypnotherapy certification in 1990. And in 1991, she founded Sero, the Close Encounters resource organization. These people are members of Sero.

Everybody that got abducted that night and each one of them either did not know that they had previous abduction experiences, but most of them did. Some of the stories we will read of some of the women that were abducted have some crazy fucking stories. And what I also love is they outlined that Marcus put together did not include some of the more juicy details that happened that night. Again, is it possible they were just raped? So Mike Evans started with a story of he was abducted when he was a boy. And he did he found this out through regression therapy. And basically as a boy, he woke up, he went on a camping trip. And what he would do is he would camp out in his backyard, his grandfather would own lots and lots and lots of land. And

so he would have he had out there, he would like a little creaky went to a little greenhouse that he would go hide in to like get away from his grandparents. He didn't really the way he talked about getting away from his grandparents, which seemed like he didn't go into detail. But it seemed like there was something happening because he was like, I like to spend a lot of time in that green room. It's just nice to get away from what's going on in the house anyway. And so he he was noticing missing time scenarios where he would go out. So a lot of these abduction scenarios we're going to find out the reason why they go into regression. It's a lot of times it's a puzzling experience that they had when they were younger that the way they say the aliens deal with it is

sort of like hypnotized you so you don't fucking remember they put a bunch of bullshit on top of it so that you can't get to it. Are they nerds because they were abducted or were they abducted because they were nerds? Interesting. Good question. I think they were abducted because they were molested by their grandfathers. That's possible. They go out to this, he would talk about how you go out to his greenhouse and sometimes he would be like, he's like, I go out there in the morning. Next thing I know it's night time. But time just, you know, it just goes away when I'm out there and I got two whole plants and they take each one takes about three hours a piece for me to stare at it. Anything but being inside that house. That's terrible. You're supposed to love your

grandparents. And so will the story also then the Mike Evans has got the story of he he awoke on a table when they go into the regression you woke on a table being tiny jaw, you know, almond shaped head, huge black eyes has him laying down the table and he's got a plate on his left arm that holds his body down. Also, he notices that there is a gigantic x-ray machine. The term x-ray machine is also thrown around quite a bit in these specific abductions where they keep talking about like seeing a machine that they think as an x-ray machine. And he said that he sat on he was a boy, he was on this table and they put a cup over his penis and then the penis and this basically it was a cover. Like a let's say they traveled here from Andromeda.

So hopefully it's not a Dixie. Yeah. And it had a snake inside of it that went up inside of his penis and made him ejaculate. And then he felt really embarrassed about ejaculating in front of them. And they're like, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, you're supposed to do this, you're supposed to do this. All the aliens are very supportive and very cool about what they're doing. This kid just got hard during his first physical and he made this all up. Yeah, possibly. Ben, or are there many dimensions and we are a part of one fragile slice of reality. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was I was very nervous the first time I got a physical. Dr. Hagnus gave it to me and I did beef up a little bit of looking alive. Disgusting. Yeah, Hagnus. So mine goes straight

up inside me. I don't want him to see. I don't want him to see how important I can become. Mike Evans, when he was abducted, when the aliens came down, he was at one of the few people that was actually like woken up by the light and he assumed that it was just an airplane outside. So he went and closed the window. Absolutely, which is now in a post-911 world. If I think a plane's coming, I'm running out of health. This is not just yell. Yeah, just get your last answer. This is in the Clinton years when everything was fucking hunky-dory. It was great. So this story is that when Mike Evans is awake, at the hotel, fast forward to 1994, the hotel told Coronado, when Mike Evans woke up, he woke up with blood on his pillow. Basically,

in his conscious memories that he went to sleep, he woke up. There was blood on his pillow. His wife saw it. They took a picture of it and measured it with a ruler. Oh, man, that is a hell of a nice wife. First, he assumed that he had just struck his lip on the sink, but he was like, but no, my lip is fine. Well, I've done that a hundred times before. Because it's also possibly an alien programming bit that's put into his brain. So we're going to read this transcript from a regression done to Mike Evans with Yvonne Smith. Right now. All right. Okay, now, Mike, take a deep breath. Try to do this. Try to do it. Okay, Mike, now as you take deep cleansing breaths, allow the information to come forward as you drift back to March 25th, 1994.

It's nighttime. We just pulled up. I get out of the car. I open the screen door and I get through the door. There's nobody at the desk. I ring the bell and this guy comes out. They live in the back part. I asked him if Alice and Lacey were there, but he said they were gone. So he gives me the key to our room when we get our baggage and a guy from behind the counter shows us where the elevator is. It's like we walk into this closet like thing. It's a little elevator just enough for two people. So little. They all talk about this fucking elevator. Yeah. So we go upstairs in the elevator, so small. And you have to close the door. It's like a little cage door inside and we go up there. But I'm tired. Jean is putting the book away.

She's tired. She puts her light out and I put mine out. I give her a kiss. You know, I don't want you. And I go to sleep. This light. This light is coming through the window. It's waking me up. What position are you in? On my back. I see the light. It's like a light. The light's coming through between the blinds. It wakes me up. Are you lying on your back in the bed looking at the light? I'm just looking at the light. It's bright. I just have the feeling that there's something in a room there. I can't see. There's a lot of light and I see like shadows. It's foggy light and I see shadows in the light. Okay, Mike. Now take a good look around the room and the shadows in the light. How many shadows do you see? I think I see four.

I see them in front of the bed. Yeah, I see one of them come over on my side, on my right side. I see him looking down at me. Yeah, he has big eyes. He looks down at me. I think he's turning my head. He has something in his hand. It's like a long object. It has something. He's doing something to my ear. It's just looking at me. It has a large head, like a very pointy chin. I can see this one very clearly, very large, very black eyes. Oh, I see a hand coming up. He has something in his hand, long pointy thing. I think he put that in my ear. I don't have pain. I have this buzzing in my ear. It's high-pitched. All right, Mike. Take a deep breath and describe what he's putting in your ear. I'm trying to take a look at it.

It's a small thing that has like a cage over it or something and it has a high-pitched noise. Okay, just stay focused on what's happening in your ear. Everything is coming in very sharp and clear. Do you feel any pain? I don't feel any pain. I can't help but feel you're not being very sympathetic to me, Yvonne. He turns my head. He puts this thing in my ear. I don't feel anything. The object in this guy's hand, I think it was kind of like a ball in the end of it, like a wire ball. There was something inside the wire, a ball, a wire ball. He only had four fingers. He kind of held it like this here. I kind of saw it. I'm on my back. Your microphone pretty bad on that one. I'm on my back. That being is just looking at me.

Oh, they all leave. They just left. They were in the light. Then it got dark in the room. So that's Mike Evan's story of what he saw. And so basically what happened after that is that he went to the doctor and so the blood came from his ear. And so that day, you're gonna also see each one of them woke up and basically it was a, it ruined everybody's day. No one knew what happened. They all woke up all groggy. Everyone had mild to major flu-like symptoms. Yes, which is very common, which is also Jacques Filet talks about has been happening since the beginning of time. When people talk about visiting things like the gentry or like when they say the gentry, it is a type of like Irish, like it's a UK like, you remember the hidden people when we did the

episode about Iceland? Okay. About like basically it's like the Hildefiq is that they are a group of, it's like fairies and like otherworldly entities that can take people, but also will give things in exchange for knowledge. Okay. Well, basically, and so it's basically the exact like alien story, but from ancient humankind. And Jacques Filet would talk about all the time is how people would visit the elves and they'd get really sick. Okay. So it's just always been happening. So everyone got the flu there. Was it possible that everyone ate the wrong bagel at the continental breakfast? No, because his wife Gina felt fine. So unless there were alien enthusiasts eating different meals from non-alien enthusiasts, because we can probably assume that Gina was not an alien

enthusiast and was very mad about spending her vacation days in San Diego at the Coronado Hotel. Measuring pools of blood on a pillow. It's probably their most exciting day they've had in years. I love this. They saw a bunch of blood and immediately we're just like, get the ruler, honey. We got to see how long this one is. But later on down the line, Mike Evans went to go to get an MRI from the doctor because he was experiencing a lot of ear pain because the blood who came out of his ear like basically had been happening over and over again. He had three more abductions experiences also got raped again. Okay. Where again, they just fish a line up to penis. It's bizarre. It's a different kind of rape that I'm used to hearing. Obviously the anal

probe, it's cliche at this point. They went in for more of a catheter approach. Yes. Because they just want to get that sweet, sweet jazzy. Right. You know how it is. All these ladies as they're getting older, all they're looking for is that sweet, sweet jazzy because they want a baby. And it's all these aliens one. And you got to get it fresh right out of the nuts. Can't even spend the time shooting it out into the air. That is fresh. And you can't just go in and grab a sock. Oh, so later. And then so anyways, Mike Evans went to get an MRI and the doctor was like, well, you got to stop cleaning your ear out. So crazy. You got a puncture wound in there. And basically found that they hit a full puncture wound through his, his, uh,

eardrum. Wow. So something's happening. Yeah. Something's happening. So it's sort of a sort of a steel wool type thing. I like this guy's story. It's a little bit different than the traditional story. So it gives it some credit. You know, a lot of these stories, they are, and when they did the, the hypnotism, the hypnotism, uh, they kept all of these people separate and they didn't allow any of them to talk to, you know, trade stories or anything like that, to contaminate, uh, each other's experience. And what's interesting is because they all had experiences being abducted. Yeah. They all knew that. They all knew that they all felt weird that night. And they are all very used to this as fact of like basically experiencing the abduction

and then kind of letting it settle because that's when the, the memories come out as later on. It's like most of the time, because the aliens specifically, if you believe that there is a physical component to the abduction scenario and the aliens are taking people and then knocking them out so they don't remember, they're like, they know that. They already know that this is kind of what happens. So the hills are taken onto the craft at this point. They're actually being taken. They get taken up a ramp and they're taken into separate rooms to be given medical examinations. Uh, both of them involved, uh, they involved both physical and mental procedures. They tested skin, hair and nail samples. Betty, they both got, they both got some very invasive

shit done of them. Betty had this long needle inserted into her navel. Right. And she was told that it was a pregnancy test. So let's listen right now to Betty's own words as to what that experience was. So then they rolled me over on my back and they exhaled on her, had the long needle in his hand. And I see the needle. And it's, it's millionth of a needle I've ever seen. And I asked him what he's going to do with it. And he said, just a simple test, his fault turned me. And I asked him what. And he said, he just wants to put it in my navel. It's just a simple test. It's a double-double head, double-double, double-double. It is a double test.

And these days, my baby is in bed. And I'm crying and I tell her, it's hurting, it's hurting, it's hurting, it's hurting, it's hurting. And as a leader, he goes over and he puts his hand, raises his hand in front of my eyes. And he says, I'll be all right. I won't feel it. And all the pain goes away. Just a simple walk in the supermarket. This is a session in which Rod Stanton is ruining every walk. They are crushing that supermarket bit though. Does that sound like a typical trip to the supermarket to you, Marcus? And by the way, those two clips are about 30 minutes apart.

So that means from like hour eight to hour 25, they just keep making references to the supermarket after every single testimony. Oh, I love it. Now I've been to a supermarket, but I normally get eggs. I don't normally get raped. Am I right, everyone? My navel is usually penetrated by a needle. They just wanted to make, you know, they're just trying to do some crochet or something. And also, I imagine this was like a pregnancy test. I mean, in a way that it's just like really just testing the pregnancy. Yeah. I mean, if you just see how strong you are pregnant by sticking a needle in there and trying to swish it around, see if you can kill the baby. Yeah. Yeah, that's the thing. If it was a pregnancy test, like the, what would you, yep, that's a baby. We just killed

it. Looks like it's about a medium rare. They're testing it, testing it like a bizarre turkey or something. It's like when you stick a fork and a cake to see if it sticks. Don't get me started. So Barney, he definitely got a raw deal as well. He didn't get a pregnancy test. He got a semen specimen taken from him. And they didn't milk it right though. If you milk it right, it's not so bad. They placed a cup-like device that was placed over his genitals. He said that he had no orgasm. Well, this is the thing. Okay. Right. Oh, this is, this is my new theory. I think Barney, love and love Barney. I think he's a very serious man. I think he's just like, he just kind of lost over it. I think he was just like, no, I'm, you know, I would say I experienced an orgasm,

but I do believe that there was a sperm sample taken. We're cut to reality. Him going like, having like fucking body shaken orgasms. Aliens having to pin him down to the table. Well, he's going like, I'm shooting. I'm shooting. I'm shooting. Some poor alien kids got to go try to catch it. One of the, one of the aliens who's in over the alien space, one of the dudes who's in alien jail is to scrape it off the walls afterwards. Absolutely. And he's just like, how about we get the smaller light of alien to bend over so I could get it in the small of his back? Wow. Well, usually we go down to earth and we rape them, but I think he raped us. And in another thing that he probably glossed over, he said that a thin tube was inserted

into his anus, but quickly removed, despite, despite it, despite his wishes of having it stay in. It's all I can take. I'm a strong man. No, we didn't actually tell you to lie on your stomach. You can just turn around. No more butt stuff. You're sure you're done. I can lie here all day. Give it to me again and tell me I can't do it. He also said someone felt up a spine counting his vertebrae. Betty, she confirmed, also in the hypnotherapy, the whole book thing where she was given a book and then right as she was about to leave, they took it away from her again. Right. Here's an odd fact about the hypnosis. They both said that the aliens seemed to have no conception of time or of colors. They didn't really go into what they meant by that, but yeah,

they said they have no concept of time, no real conception of colors, which might explain why, when they tried to look human, if you want to go for that hypothesis that they are trying to look human rather than us trying to make them look human, why their skin is gray and their lips are purple. Right, right, right. It's just a little bit off. Yeah, it's like every elderly grandmother in the UK. It's just like their hair is all purple and the makeup's all wrong. You know, it's just like they're just kind of missing it, but they think they look gorgeous and that's all that matters. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, what Jacques Fillet puts forward is that the reason why these things exist, the reason why they have problems and or they have quote unquote problems with

understanding quote unquote, quote unquote time, quote unquote. Are you doing air quotes by chance right now? Okay. It's just going a million miles a second over there. We have a lot of quotes happening. Click, click, click, click, click, click, click. Good. The reason why they do this and they, they, this is a central part of many abduction scenarios is stuff like when they show the map and they're like, where are you guys from? And the alien says to Betty, oh, you know, like, where are you from? You tell me where you're from. If you can do like, why do you care, blah, blah, what they'd like to do is set up problems about the, about perception of reality. And that is where the phenomenon is important. They basically almost lie about not understanding

time or understanding colors, because the point is that their very existence is supposed to bring about questions of how we perceive time and colors and stuff like that. All right. So they're telling us, I hope you're high. Yeah. And by the way, the whole time Henry is holding a pen and he is flailing it at the screen the entire time. Oh, that's great. Yeah. So Betty reported a conversation with the, oh, and by the way, the aliens were also very surprised that Barney's dentures could be removed. Ooh, my grandfather, my gritton father, my grandfather used to do that trick with me all the time when I was a kid. But it was weird as he had like a set of like dozens and dozens of dentures, right? From like all over the middle of Europe. No, this was my

grandfather that was from America and your father was in the NYPD. Yeah, but I don't know how big his gold collection was. Well, I don't know, big my grandfather's gold collection. I have tiny pieces of gold, like tooth, like tooth size pieces of gold. I think that we discussed off-air curbing it with the grandfather talk. I had another American grandfather who had dentures and he took them out of his mouth and I would laugh and laugh and laugh and put them in my mouth, but I already had teeth, so I had a lot of teeth. So Betty reported that the leader that she understood English, Barney also said that he heard them speaking in a weird mumbling language that he didn't understand, but he also understood them in English. So there was that they were kind of

going back and forth between speaking to them in their language. Remember that weird kind of European accent and a sort of like mumbling language, like a weird language, almost like they were trying to figure it out between each other. A full muddled, a muddling of the English language. Yeah, but even so, Barney also said that when they communicated with him, he said that there seemed to be, quote, thought transference. Right. And he didn't really know, he had no idea what telepathy was at the time, so that was the only way that he could really explain it. And they said, both of them said that they never observed the being's mouths moving when they were speaking to them. They were communicated and communicating in the English, but they weren't

actually saying the words out loud. All I know is they know. The thing that's interesting too is how he perceived the eyes. The eyes to him were always floating in front of him. Like, while, like, so, while they're kind of chipping away at the block he had about the missing time, like, leading into the interrupted journey is an incredibly long book. I read the whole thing. When they're leading up to the actual reveal of like him being on the craft, he's saying that during this whole time, he kept getting stuck on eyes hovering in trees, sort of like they say about the owl symbolism. Like, when they see stuff. And the way he put it is that what brought ease eventually, because he started thinking and he was like, what is that? What is, what are those

eyes? What are the, what are those eyes? Oh, they're like the Cheshire cat. Oh, he's just the Cheshire cat and started getting focused on this thing. It's very interesting how he perceives how telepathy can do that. Just kind of override your whole function of, of perception that it all becomes gobbledygook. Yeah. So he just knew that they knew that he was thinking what he was thinking and he knew that what they were thinking, even though no words were expressed. Yeah. And they both expressed that. Like, that was both reported by them. Also, like, when you go to Taco Bell. Yes, they know I'm in there to just buy half of the menu. And if it's a pizza hut, combo Taco Bell, throw in some breadsticks, but put some cheese on them, but just charge me

for the breadsticks. That's one of my funny jokes. So as they left the crap, the way they explain, the way they described the treatment that the aliens gave them is that they, the aliens treated Betty and Barney, how humans might treat experimental animals, right? How we would treat a monkey in a cage. Still well, but also still with no emotion. So after they were released, they were given hypnotic suggestions. So they would remember nothing of the experience, which is what supposedly accounts for the amnesia, which was broken by the counter hypnosis. And I've got a quote here from Dr. Stanton Friedman, our man from the video. He said, apparently he was described by one of the sources that I found as being, quote,

a nuts and bolts man. He issued a statement that said, By no stretch of the imagination, could anyone who knows them conclude that they were nuts. Remember, he was a nuts and bolts man, though. So he's just a bolts guy. No nuts. No nuts to be found. Yes, you guys. Just your typical trip to the grocery store. I don't want to talk about my movie, but let's give a little bit of a talk about my movie. Yes, indeed. I would love to hear about it. It's called Stanton finds his balls. Oh, wow. Where were they? You know what's funny? They were between my pockets. I can't believe it. Isn't that the place to keep them? Well, up on flying saucer hill, not yet named flying saucer hill.

There she saw the same silver spaceship she'd seen three times before using clouds as camouflage. Suddenly the 60 foot diameter saucer complete with a rounded dome and portholes lowered itself until it was no more than a yard off the ground pulsating with a hum so loud that Elizabeth's ears popped. Cool. When Elizabeth looked into the porthole, however, she did not see the unsettling sight of an alien gray or reptilian or an insectoid. What did she see? Ben Kissel sitting at the porthole in Florida. No, no. He's eating three hot dogs and he is ogling a 40 year old mother with a cesarean skull. Sure. Instead, she beheld the most beautiful man she'd ever seen sporting a shock of white hair.

From her account, Elizabeth felt a sense of affinity and love from his slight smile. So gentle that it caused her heart to miss a beat with eyes so soft she dared not look into them again. Coming for you, Liz. Is it love if she got a heart murmur while staring at her? No, man. That's what love is. I thought that I was brutally sick when I met Natalie. But after this brief moment of intense connection, the ship abruptly rose into the air and took off with a flash of light just as the ship she'd seen with her first husband had done years before. But even though there was an obvious spark of affection, the UFO did not return for another 18 months. But since Elizabeth had been practicing telepathy on horses and plants and such for years,

she sensed the ship's return once it came back into planet Earth orbit. Turns out this horse also wants a carrot. Yeah, this horse wants a carrot. This is for, thinking out there, you guys are lonely, huh? You guys out here, I've heard people talk about they're lonely trying to find that other person. Try to talk to plants with their mind for a while. Yeah. And then maybe you'll know when the one shows up. Put on more Garson's Plantasia, start fucking it. Just like, learn to play the fucking Mogue, man. Like place a synthesizer. Make your own way in the world. Make your own way in the world. Be your own vibe. Actively speak to other people. No, no, no. You can't speak. Well, it's because the only person,

the only person you should be with should be the person who hears you thinking at them when you meet them. Perfect. Yeah. Well, when she felt the presence of the flying saucer near, she ran to the top of flying saucer hill and found the UFO had landed. This time, the tall, beautiful man was standing beside it like a teenager waiting to pick up his horny, horny prom date. I got you a corsage. So Elizabeth ran to the tall white alien and he swept her up in his arms, swinging her around and laughing. He asked the quote, not afraid this time, to which she answered, I have known your face within my heart all my life. Oh, the alien soon introduced himself as a con, a scientist from the planet Meton. Oh my God, a scientist. Wow. And brought Elizabeth aboard. He's bonafide.

Brought Elizabeth aboard his classic flying saucer. Once inside, a con introduced Elizabeth to the pilot named Sheeran. There's a lot of rhyming here. Okay. Sheeran was just as striking as a con. Yep. Handsome as well. Yeah. Yeah. A con, Elizabeth said, had straight, long, golden white hair with high cheekbones, light gray eyes, and aquiline nose. Okay. So it's a con and sheetan and they're from Heetan. Sheeran. No. Okay. So it's a con and sheeran and they're from Heetan. Okay. Interesting. This guy, a con, kind of looked like an alien, Adrian Brody with the hair of Edgar winner. The perfect man. Wow. He's a good actor. Yeah. A con's clothes were fairly standard for an alien. A one piece form fitting shimmery garment with only hands and head exposed, although gloves and

a headpiece were nearby. The head, Elizabeth noted, was also form fitted with slits for the eyes, nose, and mouth. Like a somewhat less aggressive version of the Gimp Mask. Cool. Okay. Hey man, he's got how he concentrates. Yeah. Now, from what Elizabeth said about the only thing on her mind at this moment was carnal romance. Oh yeah, man. Made her fucking wet downstairs. You're fucking married, Liz. No, she's divorced. She's divorced at this time. Oh, she divorced her in this time period. Yeah, man. Second husband left her because he couldn't handle this. I thought it was because she was getting eaten out all the time in space and that's why he left. No. Carnal romance is so close to sounding like carnival romance and you would be amazed what

you could do with a hard dog. Dude, man. Carnival romance. You don't think there's not some massive fucking happened behind the Ferris wheel, my friend? But Acorn told her that he had observed Elizabeth all her life, had watched her as a child and wanted to be with her, but needed to wait until she had grown up in the knowledge and understanding that came from repeated visitation teasing. We have a saying on me, Tom. If there's grass on the field, you play with the ball. At some point, I want the ladies to comment on this. At some point, when does it become, oh, you stalked me my entire life and you were attracted to me since I was four years old. That sounds creepy, right? There's a song. Actually, I think there's a song about it.

Like, what is this? Like, girl, you'll be a woman soon. Yeah, yeah. It's waiting for her to turn legal. Yeah. All right. Well, at that moment, after this somewhat creepy statement, he kissed her. And this, as Elizabeth Claire wrote in her book, is what happened next. A magical electric current seemed to fuse us together in an eternity of ecstasy. In that moment, I knew that the art of love was of the mind. And so, not only of the body, smiling at my thoughts, could put his hand gently under my chin, tilting my head back and looking deep into my eyes. We rarely mate with Earth women, he said. When we do, we keep the offspring to strengthen our race and infuse new blood.

Oh, interesting. Before they could mate and strengthen the race, Acorn gave Elizabeth a very long and extremely detailed tour of the mothership. He mansplains her. He immediately like, he's just been like, this here is the trike on for a block of naked. It turns energy into meter cube. So she's just like, interesting. Oh, you're tall and you have a job. Yeah, he's describing all the technology that made space travel possible. Just immediately turned into Tim the tool man, Taylor. Yes. Yes. Well, put simply, Acorn said that the spaceship converted pure energy into physical substance through its smooth circular shape, transforming it into a combination of matter and antimatter as the outer skin energized in alternating pulses.

So you're going to eat my pussy now sooner than later. Okay. This process, this process. It sounds like this guy would be a fan of Jay Leno's garage. I was thinking like, I don't care about the dashboard. Well, this process. Acorn said it's achieved quote by pressing that red button. So scientists created this and you just hit the button. You don't do anything. No, that's how it's made. You hit the button. You hit the big rap button and then you go boom, boom. But that's all I do on my truck. I hit the button, but I can't tell you about cars. That's all he had to say. He was trying to show, he was trying to impress her, bro.

Yeah, but it's how it turns on after the big rap button was pushed, an electro gravitic field created a vacuum that encircled the shift, enable it to shift without the restriction of speed and without sound. Technically, this is what they, they, some, some scientists with the UAP like group was trying to study was this shit, the idea of gravity wells. Okay. Yeah. The whole of its propulsion system, he said, was the combination of electric, magnetic, tempic and resonated forces, the unified field as well. And now we're heading into Marianne Williamson territory. You know what I mean? Like this is also what she said it was she was going to do to fix the

government. Well, and listen to that episode of top that when I interviewed her, she's a lovely person. Yeah. She couldn't be any worse. Basically, the tempic or time field maneuvers the spaceship from one time field to another, which is how UFOs tend to appear or disappear very suddenly. They're not actually moving through space. They're moving through time. You know, sure. Whenever fucking floats your boat, bro. All he knows is fucking $5 a gallon gas right now in LA. So if that's time, I guess if time is money, then yes, I put about fucking 60 bucks of time into my fucking car every week. Okay, great. No. Well, controlling the temperature field, meanwhile, allows the ship complete mobility

and control over the velocity. I think it basically removes friction, right? I think. Sure. Yes. I don't know, man. I don't know. So after explaining the spaceship technology, Acorn, Fed, Elizabeth, salads, and golden fruit juice. The golden fruit juice. Gold fruit juice? Golden fruit juice. Yes. It's piss. Apple juice is also golden. It could be. He says it's golden fruit juice. We don't know what it tasted like. She apparently liked it. It could still be pissed because some people like drinking it piss, but she, he presented all of this. He's like, we grow this right here on the ship. Because we do not need to go on the ship. Push the button. You see, it's this other red button.

So after explaining all that, Acorn's brother, Haven showed up and explained, as all aliens tend to do, that we're pretty much doing everything wrong here on earth. Oh my God. They're Canadians. Yes. Yes. Acorn and Haven gave the same old, same old about earth not being ready for interstellar travel. Because we're too mean, too violent. What if I fucking beat the shit out of you? What if I just do that? Men, they said, were poisoned by stupidity and ignorance and will eventually quote, smother themselves in their own filth. You're dressed like an idiot, Acorn. How about that? How about that? This is a form-fitting outfit. It was made by Spacetailers.

Spacesuit. Okay. So maybe you think about that. You unwashed fucking monkey. You have me. You got long hair. You look like someone's lesbian aunt. I've heard that before. Oh, thank you, Acorn. You got that from Twitter. Acorn fits man's fucking right to smother himself in his own filth. Fuck yeah, dude. Very true. Very true. Acorn also said that they tried making contact with earth authorities, but every single time, whatever air force they contacted tried to either shoot them down or ram their spaceships with their airplanes. I don't think that's true.

We're trying to teach the air force about the clitoris. They will not listen. Well, Haven then took a big left turn in the conversation saying that he too had been watching Elizabeth since she was a child and that they'd all collectively chosen her to mate with Acorn. Yeah. So what they did is you were Barrymore. This is horrible. So now they have... So now it's two brothers and this other person who is the pilot. They all been steering sexually at a little girl and they all decided when she was old enough, they'd let the tallest one fuck her. Yeah. And by old enough, it's like, she's in her mid 40s at this point. She's like 46, 47 and has already had two kids.

Because life doesn't end at 40. That's when a woman really ripens to something you can really chow on. I just don't know if she wanted to make this a family affair. What does she think at this point? She's in love and love love. Well, sidestep in this creepy statement for a bit. Acorn put his race in relation to humans, possibly to seem just the slightest bit less alien. Acorn said that his civilization had first existed on Venus, but moves to earth eons ago because the sun had expanded its corona and belched lethal radiation all over their home planet, killing all flora and fauna on Venus forever. Eventually, the Venusians had to leave earth as well for the same reason,

although the corona belch the second time around only killed the dinosaurs. I don't know that's what killed the dinosaurs. We know for certain that it was the asteroid, don't we? I think that there's several theories still. I might be wrong on this, but I do believe that there is also a theory that they were killed by a virus mixed with the asteroid, that it all hit, that it all happened. But then it was a massive extinction of that and many layers. And I heard also the dinosaurs maybe became extinct because of diabetes. They actually had a horrible diet in many cases. But then again, to be slightly optimistic, look at your window. Do you see a bird? Then have the dinosaurs died?

Aren't the dinosaurs still with us? I got 12 dinosaurs in my fucking refrigerator right now. I didn't think about it, man. At one point, fucking earth, just a bunch of fucking dinosaurs and Venusians, man. Yeah, man, a Ringo. You see that movie where Ringo's hanging out with his dinosaurs to cave man movie? I believe it. Rick Hallow-Elch. I mean, you know, the thing about the T-Rex, there's no way they could find a drummer for a T-Rex band, so Ringo has to come and save the day. You are the living end. Well, according to She-Ron, some Venusians did stay behind in an underground city in Antarctica, safe from the radiation. Presumably, they're still there.

Yeah, it's hanging out, man. Yeah, but Meton. That's where the good weed is at. Yeah, Hydroponic. But Meton, or Venus II, as they called it, was a peaceful, natural place. This, Acon said, is where he and Elizabeth would mate. It's just such a fucking idea of explaining all of this, like, planetary history, all the solar system stuff. And then finally, and that's what brings us to Venus II, we will fuck. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet. You know, I'm not for war, but I think peace is a little overrated. Because if they're like, oh, it's peaceful, that means nothing happens. No one can ever scream. Like, you know, sometimes the peace has to be interrupted in a random Starbucks. I don't think someone's becoming a

real Nancy Pelosi. I'm just saying, if everything is super peaceful, this is a little boring. I don't know. I tend to be OK if I don't see violence for a while. Not necessarily violence. We saw a man die in front of Verizon, Baltimore. All those people got shot in front of our venue in Portland. That's true. You know, like, there's a lot going on that we don't dial down. That's a good point. Yeah, there was no time in any of that in which I thought, awesome. Cool, man. Fuck it. I have problems. Fuck yes. We can still have sports in a peaceful world, so then we get your violence.

That's where you should be. Yeah, keep it there. I just need to see somebody bleed. Yeah. But as I was saying, they're going to mate on METON, but not yet. Just as they were sharing electrical kisses, ACON told Elizabeth that she was actually a venusian. You're very mature for your age. I'm 47 years old. She was the reincarnation of a long lost soulmate. But despite this, he could not take her to METON then and there to fuck. And said, he said, quote, All lives are entwined was a thread of gold weaves a pattern in the sky.

My love, my life, my chosen mate, I will return to possess you. And so the seed of my love within your delicate body, the mark of my love, will remain within your soul forever. Because nobody wants to see us together, but it don't matter no. Nobody wants to see us together. Write that song down. You're very popular. Songs about a horribly abusive relationship that the family is trying to save that girl from. But then the guy says, yeah, see, that's why you should love me because they hate me.

And then that ends up in a massive divorce or maybe she's even dead. So what a great message for the kids. That's also this is the only point in the story where I think she might be making it up because no man alien or human would ever be that romantic. You don't know. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.