Last Podcast On The Left - Dogma 25th Anniversary: An Interview with Kevin Smith

Episode Date: June 27, 2025

In this very special episode, the boys sit down with the legendary Kevin Smith to discuss life, death, horror, comedy, losing faith, gaining perspective, reviving Dogma after 25 years, and much more. For Live Shows, Merch, and More Visit: www.LastPodcastOnTheLeft.comKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Last Podcast on the Left ad-free and a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

There's no place to escape to this is the last on the left That's when the cannibalism started It's so nice to meet Your hero. Yeah, like, you know like cuz very rarely do you meet a hero? That's like awesome Yeah, I'd rather eat a hero Obviously On the left, my name is Marcus Parks. I'm here with the satisfied Henry Zabrowski. Yeah No, I'm deeply unsatisfied Henry Zabrowski, but you're satisfied with what this show is about one this episode, okay?

But I'm satisfied with what we did in the conversation we had and who we had it with in yes But in general you'll never be satisfied filled with rage. Yeah, no matter how good things get couldn't Honestly the better things get the more angry I get We have man it's always got sandwiches on the brain, Ed Larson. Oh my god, I had Jersey Mike's for the first time in a couple months yesterday. I swear to god I went in there and they're like, Ed! The doctor gave you a release? I shared a wheat turkey with Julie.

God, how far we have fallen. Wow. Here's the good point, I hadn't been there in so long, I didn't realize, still had a shit ton of Jersey Mike's points, got that fucker for free. Wow, you're making money, dude. Why the fuck you should have told Kevin Smith that you had Jersey Mike's money sitting in your fucking pocket. I don't want him shaking me down.

Henry, let the cat out of the bag. If you, and that's also, if you haven't looked at the episode description today. I always blindly click the episode. Today that we had the massive, massive honor of talking to somebody who was so incredibly influential to all of us growing up, so incredibly influential to the founding of Last Podcast Network and to the entire DIY aesthetic that we approach our entire fucking lives. We were able to sit down for an hour and a half

with fucking Kevin Smith. Yeah, man, this dude taught me how to be dirty. Yeah. Yeah, dude. It was something about watching just some fat guy from Jersey that went, and he was like, he didn't have the training that that we like you want to have or The connections you want to have and he just made it work and there was there was something as a high schooler Watching him and his buddies. Yeah go and make a whole world of art and

Entertainment that obviously was very inspirational. You know, he should not be successful. No, he really is Yeah, yeah against all odds and that's the type of person we fucking left here at last podcast very inspirational. You know, he should not be successful. No, he really is. Yeah. Yeah. Against all odds. And that's the type of person we fucking left here at last podcast. So let's just get into it, man. Like without further ado, let's hear this wonderful conversation with Kevin. Of course, in honor of dogmas, 25th anniversary dogmas getting a re-release. It got out of right. Tell dude, and I got to see it in a theater and it was so nice to be, it did kind of feel like you were reeling back The years a little bit because it's deeply inappropriate and it's wonderful and they they don't make them like that no more

Certainly not now and and dogma is it's in theaters around the country right now So definitely go out and check it out But before you do that listen to this interview with Kevin Smith. Snitchy burchies. Live from your grave. All right. Well, we are here today on this very special episode. We have an extraordinary guest with us.

We have DIY legend filmmaker, Kevin Smith with us today. How are you doing today, Kevin? So damn good kids Happy to talk horror what I would have done in my life if I'd had any talent whatsoever artistic talent. You asked the internet They'll tell you I got nothing But I'm talking about artistic talent and sculpting because if I've been good in sculpting and stuff I would have done prosthetics.

And that was my dream. Rubber monsters, rubber masks, fucking gashes, blood and shit. That was how I spent my childhood. Not dreaming of funny independent films and stuff like that. More dreaming of the movies that I love to watch, which were like rubber-mast horror movies and stuff and prosthetics. But if I'd ever got my hand on the Tom Savini book, what was it called?

Oh my God. Because he has a whole makeup school in Pittsburgh. He does, but the book that he did years ago, he gave it to me years ago and it's behind me in this library. And its title is, oh, it gave it to me years ago and it's behind me in this library. And its title is, oh, it'll come to me later on. But it was a book about how to do makeup effects. And we live in the age of the internet now where if you were looking for this book, you

could Google it fast, find it, and then buy it someplace. But we're talking about like late 70s, early 80s, New Jersey. If you couldn't find this book in a library or bookstore, you were never going to find it. And I always feel like if I'd found that book, I would have shifted toward prosthetics. Because I had like a blood kit, I had a makeup kit, nose putty, and I was always mixing up like cornstarch with like red food. Oh, yeah. So I wanted to be Savini. I wanted to be Rick Baker. But you need to be a sculptor. You need to have visual arts talent to pull that off and stuff.

And so I wound up fucking making clerks instead. Which worked out. It worked out, dude. Instead of you sculpted a generation of fat-bodied men. Look at this. You're- What poetry? Good Lord, what poetry?

Look at this. You are responsible for this setup, sir. No, you you really I you know what I will take credit for that I enjoy that man. I enjoy that most of my career has been spent showing folks like it's kind of a reminder of one day we're all gonna fucking die and Why spend your life doing something that you hate? That's my father did. Like he worked at the post office his whole life and never liked it. Never once saw him come home and be like, what a day, you know, like he just hated the place. It was just the thing he did

to pay for what he loved. What a psychopath he would have been. He never went postal. Thank God. Whenever he hit the trifecta though, I'm sure he was happy. It was, he was the dude that like, just did a job in order to pay for the thing he loved, his wife and kids and stuff like that. But all growing up watching that, watching that dude hate that job, it always felt like to me, like there's no good way out of this world, right?

Like, so why not die doing what you love? Why not prolong adolescence? It was fun when we were kids, running around making pretend, watching movies, talking about movies as if they were important, obsessing over television shows and comic books. I just didn't see a need for that to necessarily end. So I feel like if anything, my whole career has been about like,

hey, this is another route. Like you and I'm not saying like make clerks it worked for me, of course, but like, play, like find a way to do that thing that you love for a living, man, and then you'll never work a day in your life. And now we live in this personality driven economy, where like literally everybody has a podcast. That thrills me, man, because that means the audience understands something now that I understood way back in the early 90s, which is like, it's fun to watch a thing is more fun to make a thing as you guys figure it out

as well, like sitting around like, let's talk about what we fucking love, man. Number one gives you a chance for camaraderie, forced socialization in a world where they keep trying to silo us apart onto our phones so that we're not talking to one another for whatever reason, because there's more money in keeping us apart.

Doing something like a podcast is congregation. It's our version, the modern day version of going to church, where the faithful come together and talk about stuff that has meaning to them. So there's the camaraderie. Then there's the whole like, what? I can make a living off of this. We can run ads on this.

Like the commercials I grew up watching my whole life. So you do it because you love it, but then the love aggregates to a way to actually do it for a living. Then you get to the place where you're like, what, we can make pod t-shirts of our podcasts. Like what we could do it live? There's so many stages to that. And I'm not saying, and I created that,

not by any stretch of the imagination, but like Johnny Appleseed, I went out for like fucking 10 years and kept telling people, start a podcast, start a podcast, start a podcast. Now we're living in a world where everybody does have a podcast, and I think that's absolutely delightful. There is no good way out of this world kids. So if you can figure out how to take your passion, the things you love, the things that move you,

the things that make you wake up in the morning, as they said in you know fucking Civil War, what makes you get out of that twin bed in the morning? It's the things that you fucking love and you can aggregate them into a job. Like that's been the amazing thing I've seen over the last quarter century is taking passion and turning it into a way of life. And that doesn't mean like making a film because not everyone's going to do that and shit. But it now means stuff like just sitting around and

talking about other people's films. And that's a way of life and a way of living. Think about how many happy people there are in the world because they're the ones speaking. They're not just being spoken to all the time as you three are right now while I'm rambling. Everyone gets to speak and kind of put their opinion out there and not just opinion on, like, movies I like, just who they are, share the human experience.

I'm sure you guys have been doing this long enough where, of course, people write into you or talk to you about the content you're talking about people write into you or talk to you about the content You're talking about but then they also talk to you about the pieces of your life that leak into the yes the show as well Like it's just it's a it's a sad weird time to be alive on one level, but it's a wonderful Ambitious time to be alive in other ways man We're like we're no longer just fed shows where we the audience can also Sometimes be the show

Haven't been gaped for money in a really long time There's always we don't have to throw that out You know, it's it's basically always got to be ready to pivot. We need to have side hustles that don't throw that away. No, my main hustle. And those two things can be combined. Gamed live on a broadcase. And that brings us to our main event. No, I'm sorry, Mark.

No, I mean, you were in the way that you first made Clerks, the way that you just like DIY, pull yourself up, that was for me a massive, massive influence and a massive inspiration way back when. All of us, it was massive. To just see you, this is a guy that did it. But you first did it in 1994, and even when we, we've been doing this podcast

for almost 15 years now, and we've been doing- How many episodes you got? A thousand plus. Yeah. We've been doing this podcast for almost 15 years now and you know, we've been doing Yeah some fucking astounding yeah A long time and we were even doing podcasts before that just trying to you know I'm sticking trying to see what worked and you know and just doing shit with your friends That's what it always was but even then, you, things have changed so much since we started. So do you see anything that, you know, as far as DIY in 1994 and DIY in 2025, like what's changed and what's the same? The DIY generation now is much smarter about the business aspect.

So my DIY generation, I'll just take my case. My case was, I wanna make an independent film because I'm independent. Fuck them studios, man. I'm gonna do it my way. I don't need no help, man. We're gonna do it by hook or by crook. Look, my work is done.

Will somebody buy it, please? Yeah. And ultimately, we wound up going hand in hand with corporate entities. Look, my work is done. Will somebody buy it, please? And ultimately, we wound up going hand in hand with corporate entities. At first, there were many majors that weren't owned, like Miramax was its own company. Then Disney bought Miramax. Warner Brothers bought Fine Line and New Line, who was Universal, had October Films. Every studio had its own indie distribution system. And therefore, how indie were we?

How DIY were we? We were DIY to make the flick, but then we were helpless when it came to distributing the flick, selling the flick. And then we had to turn to our corporate betters. In this current DIY generation, these kids have figured it out, man. They grew up on YouTube so they understand how to monetize clicks and whatnot. So I've been seeing in my Instagram feed, I forget who I follow, some Hollywood producer thing, where they're always giving you updates on what's going on in town.

The story that I've seen now in three different ways is the, hey, man, this disruptor culture has created their own studio system. They have these shows that they create with their own cast, look like normal ass fucking shows that you would see on TV. They have no corporate connection whatsoever, and they build these out. They have direct contact with their audience and stuff. So they've monetized it and figured out how to do shit on their own. They're not going, I mean, yes, they're using YouTube, of course, as a distribution platform,

but they're not going to a Universal or a Disney to be like, can you distribute this for me? Can you help build this for me? By my second film, you know, I was in the world where a studio's like, here's a bunch of money. Like, that doesn't happen so much anymore. So these kids, they're not waiting around. They're not sitting on the sideline going like,

I hope my Cinderella story comes true. No, they're like, I'm gonna go create a thing because I can, because I got these tools and I have this kind of access and I know about this and I know how to market this. So the DIY generation now of 2025, way better at this than my DIY generation. We only took it so far and then helplessly turned it over to people who knew how to do business. This current DIY generation knows how to do business as well.

They know if they're gonna build the thing, then it's up to them to sell the thing as well. So they don't count on others. And that's inspiring as fuck. I tell you, I saw that one clip about like, these kids are building their own shows within a non-studio system. And I got so excited and I was like,

oh my God, I wanna do that. And then I was like, well, you did that. Like you did that. But it's done. You can't do it again. But like now it's their turn and stuff. Just like for years, like when the before we did RedState before there was a Kickstarter or an Indiegogo, I was financing with my friend, John Gordon, this platform called RedState

Green, because I had like a million followers on MySpace. I was like, if we got a buck from every one of them, we can go make fucking Red State. Never mind waiting for somebody to rise to check. We spent like 20k building this site that was essentially like a proto Kickstarter in Indiegogo. Then I did an interview. I was in Canada doing an interview for Zach and Mary Make a Porno. And there was a little round table and there was somebody that asked, what are you doing

next? I was like, oh, we're putting together this website where we're going to try to raise the financing for this movie, Red State, like off the audience. The audience has been wanting to see it, so we'll see how badly they want to see it. And then somebody wrote an article the next day that was like, oh, Kevin Smith is going to beg for money to make his next movie. And it scared me. It turned me off. And instantly I killed the project. We stopped developing the website and went and found traditional financing the

way I always had. You could have been like a billionaire. You literally could have been a billionaire. And it's so weird because to me, the story, I don't even look at the story from like, oh my God, we could have then used the platform for everybody. It could have been Kickstarter. In my head, all I hear is like, somebody made fun of you and you dropped a really good idea and went a very traditional safe state route with a movie that didn't call for that at all. And what happened later on was, who was it?

The Garden State kids. Zach Braff. Zach Braff went out and did that off of Kickstarter Indiegogo and financed the whole last fucking movie and it was the first movie financed of IndieCraft financing funding and stuff. So I missed a shot at history, but then at the same time, I'm like, you know what? I count on the audience to buy tickets and t-shirts and shit like that.

I'm not saying this ain't right for everybody. Kids should do this, but as an established filmmaker, to then also be like, and now I want the audience to pay for the movie to be made in the first place. Let it be done. Just didn't feel right. It didn't feel, felt like I was looking to give tourists in the mouth

because I was in a rarefied position to find money elsewhere. Why would I be sitting in the small pond soaking up money that could go to other filmmakers and shit? So I, every time I see young indie or young DIY still fucking calls to me in a real primal fashion where I'm like, I wanna do that. And then I have to stop myself and check myself

and be like, you have already done that. Like, your time has done. Now you leave it for the next generation to do. Because I'll tell you right now, I ain't got anything all that fucking important to say that demands like, give me your money and shit, because I'll make like, yogos or something. So, you know, it's...

I like my relationship with my audience, but personally, and this is no judgment on others that kick-starter Indiegogo, I don't want to presume upon them in the beginning stage as well, which is like, well, you pay for it, and then you pay to go see it, and then you pay to buy the DVD. You know, it's like you can only hit them so many fucking times. So I love today's DIY culture, and I wish to Christ that I could be deeply entrenched in it and meshed in it. You are.

I mean, I'm a- As a Spock Castle Film Festival alum, you are. Did you go? No, I had a movie in there. I- So wait, was it a horror flick? No, it was a documentary about my mother, but it was very New Jersey.

How America Killed My Mother. Fucking hell. Yeah, yeah. Seriously, that's an excellent title. You grazed downstairs and introduced it in your shorts. It was amazing. It was a- Fucking hell. No, but yeah, but so you are putting your money where your mouth is. You are helping young DIY. Yeah, you very much. Yeah, you know, but not but not in the way that I would like to be a part of it, which is like my mindset even after 31 years in the business is cheap, is DIY, because I came from a world where I didn't have funds and assets and shit. Even as I continued my career, I was never one of those guys that was like, get me 100

million. I always kept it low because these aren't important works. They're like Kevin Smith movies. We shouldn't spend that much money. I'm used to keeping the budget low and that keeps me very much in the DIY mindset. So I always lean more toward that side of the fence and, you know, in ways where I could be helpful for others, that's nice, like Smodcastle, but I'm still in it for me, kids. Like I'm not rich enough where I'm like, and now I can just sit back and kind of give to others.

I still got to hustle to pay my bills and there's still stories that I want to tell. So it's not completely altruistic. Something like Smodcastle Cinemas isn't me like, here's a showcase for other people. It's like, yeah, that works. Like, I love that Ernie's done the film festival for what's coming up on the fourth year. And now we've got a Smodcastle horror festival coming up for the first time. That is beautiful and that's legacy stuff and it gives all these other cats a chance. But I'll be honest with you, I didn't buy that theater going

like, this will help others. I bought it going like, well, number one, they're gonna close if we don't buy it, it's fucked. But number two, ooh, I'll have my own stage for the rest of my life. Like any time I want to do a show, like I spent most of my time hustling ass around the country. Now it's like, oh my God, if I just want to fucking show

Mallrats, I can upsell tickets to 50 or 60 bucks and shit like that. We'll have a good old time. So I started it selfishly. But then once you have the thing, like along the way, the journey like kind of shows you what it's really about, what you think it's about and what it's really about. Beginning of my career, selfishly, I was like, I want to make a movie. Now at this stage of my career, yes, there's still that. But I also know that based on all the people I've met

over 30 years and all the feedback I've read and the people who've like cried in my face telling me that these dopey ass movies help them. They're their fucking buoys in a storm, man. They're their fucking life preserver when life is at their rockiest. They're just the thing that makes them fucking giggle and she makes life a little bit fucking easier. And then you realize like, that's what you're here for. Nevermind fucking like masturbatory, like I wanna make a movie. It's like, oh my God, this bullshit that serves me

and makes me happy also fucking does something to somebody else just like other people's work has done for me for years. So the older you get in the career, the more you start realizing this isn't just for me, you know, filmmaking is a very self centered art directing particularly. But at the end of the day, because of the long tail of the career, because I've been around for so long and because I've had this experience over and over and over and I just come off the dogma resurrection tour.

So I saw two audiences a night every night and I got to do Q and a and over. And I just come off the dogma resurrection tour. So I saw two audiences a night every night, and I got to do q&a with him. So I got to hear that. And what they talked about was that they talked about where you are in their life. There's one guy in Chicago, who was like, Hey, man, I, I've been watching you since 94. He's gone, I've been to 19 of your live shows, he's gone and now I bring my adult children and he had some 20 something sitting with him and stuff like that. He's like, I've been on 19 of your live shows. He's going, and now I bring my adult children. And he had some 20 something sitting with him

and stuff like that. He's like, I've been on the journey with you this whole time, I just gotta know, what's your end game? And I was like, I hadn't even thought about it till this moment. I didn't realize there was an end game because I didn't really have a game plan to begin with. I just wanted to make Clerks and then it started a career.

I wasn't packed for a 31 year career. I've had to kind of figure it out as I went along. But I guess if I have an end game is to like fucking inspire people to do this, which I feel like I've done. Like, yeah, based on all the interaction, I feel I've done that. Now the end game for me is to make people feel as good as I possibly can just to use my mouth on them to give them pleasure until the day that I dropped it whether that's in film whether that's like on camera whether that's in podcasts like I'm I'm just here to serve I'm just here to make shit a little bit easier for

people while believe me I'm making shit easier for myself cuz I don't have to have a real job because I do all this nonsense and stuff. I want to talk about Dogma. I wanna talk about, because that's part of the reason the season that you're here we love Dogma, love this movie, but I do wanna ask you, leading right after that question.

I mean, humor me. Take back your show, take back. Humor me. Would you, okay, let's say you're saying, what's your end plan, right? Would you be down, because you are obviously, I would view you as somebody who is very forward thinking. You're a sci-fi guy. You understand kind of certain elements. Obviously. Would you want an AI built avatar of yourself to continue on after you live? Would you want a curated you being around after the fact?

Would you be down with that? Or is that still in your soul? Could he be, you know, because there's nothing about me. That's original, right? Everything I do. I've seen in one form or fashion someplace else and then I translated as my version, I guess. So that being said, if I can be presented in a Max

Headroom type fashion, yeah, yeah. Oh, it's whatever you want. Rubbery and I'm just like, this is a snoogin. I'd be down for that. You know, it's, I'll take it, man. I was like, I was on a Bert Kreischer's podcast last week and he said something that made me laugh where he was just like, I was asking my wife that if I come up with an AI-generated avatar girlfriend and talk to her and masturbate to her, is that cheating? And I was like, I don't even know in that case. Yeah, I talked about this with my wife,

are sex bots cheating? You do it. Yeah. What do you mean? Especially case. Yeah, or like, I talked about this with my wife, are sex bots cheating? You do it. Yeah. What do you mean? But especially the sex bot, but now, like, online, you can feed it all your information and shit, and you could create an AI personality that, like, fucking will tell you all the things you want to hear.

This is the danger of shit. This is where shit gets really down the rabbit hole. Because if we can all build our own congregations of unreal people on our phones or our laptops We cease having need for others man. Oh, yeah, and when you're dealing just with an AI That's telling you everything you want to hear and shit. Why would you want to start dealing with the real world? Would you kill yourself if you put in everything in them in the app, right? You put everything in this all the things I love. It's all things I want to have sex with.

This is all the thing I want to talk to. You would kill himself. And then all of a sudden, your perfect mate is just like your mother. Look, you just see like an immediate like that. That would make sense to me. I'm like, well, the most intimate relationship of my life. Like that makes sense. I'm not going to follow the advice of the AI.

But, you know, it would kind of quasi make sense, I guess. Thank you. Yes. Thank you very much for humoring. I mean, this just comes from, you know, Saturday we had a barbecue and just talked about AI for a good two hours. But the reason why we are here is, you know, Dogma, 25th anniversary, re-release, you know, dogma was a very important movie to all three of us. You know, it all came out when we were teenagers and you know, and I know speaking for myself, like it made me rethink, you know, I came from a very small

Texas town where religion and Christianity was number one town of 300 people, five churches. Whoa, good coverage. That's, that's crazy. My town Highlands at one point, they always said, and I could never prove this, but we're always told as kids that we were in the Guinness Book of World Records for having the most amount of bars in a one square mile radius. That's because you drank everywhere you went. It sounds like you guys with that many churches in a town of 300, that feels like Guinness World. It's a lot of coverage, but Dogma was the movie that made me rethink organized religion.

I had never really thought to question it before, but it was sort of the crack in the foundation, as it were. So, I mean, how does it feel when people tell you things like that, that the dogma made them rethink everything, was that the intention behind the movie? It's weird, because since I was on tour for the last month, and then I also we took it to Cannes and I watched it when we were there for the second time with that movie at Cannes. Humble brag. I've been, I've been like thinking about the movie a lot lately, because I'm interacting with it a bunch.

And to me, the movie plays like a child's prayer. It plays like if you know your Old Testament, King David stripping down to his skivvies and dancing and acting the fool in front of the Ark of the Covenant through the streets of the holy city because he loved the Lord so much. That's what dogma feels like to me.

The kid who wrote it and directed it believed in all of that. Like that was his cosmology, that was his faith structure and whatnot. That wasn't Christian mythology, these things happen. These are the stories that I was handed when I was born and never thought to even be like, wait, is any of this real or whatnot.

So when I watch the movie, I see that kid at work and I'm like, wow, man, like, you know, we'd done clerks and that kicked off a career very nicely. And then Mallrats, which has aged incredibly well, got beat the shit out of by critics and at the box office and nearly ended the career. Then Chasing Amy was a Hail Mary that kind of put us back on top.

And in the same year, we had Good Will Hunting, which me and Scott Moser co-executed produced. So the one-two punch of Chasing Amy and Good Will Hunting, including having Ben and Matt be like, we want to be in Kevin's next movie, meant that there was never going to be a better time to get dogma made. And in making dogma, it was my idea of like,

let me express my faith. I go to church every Sunday, nobody here celebrates their faith, they fucking mourn it. This will be my idea of a Sunday service, but with anal jokes in it and stuff. And the great irony is that in making that testimony, which I see play out night after night for the last month,

the faith started to erode because, you know, I had George Carlin on set. Very hard to contain. How does God live when he's there? Yeah. He was, I mean, George was absolutely lovely, but he is probably the most famous lapsed Catholic. And he loved the flick because he was like, oh, it gives it to the church.

And I never felt that way. I was like, well, I mean, I guess it raises the air eyebrow at the church. I said, but the movie's like so crazily pro-faith. So we were on set, like third act of the movie in front of the church. Ben and Matt show up, crack like a cop's neck and all hell breaks loose. So George is going, what's going on in the scene again?

And I was like, well, the angels show up and then they're gonna kill everybody and then cut their wings off, go into the church. When they come out, they're again, presumably killed by the cops because they're human at this point. And then they'll go straight to heaven. And he goes, why? And I was like, because of the plenary indulgence loophole. And he goes, and what is that? And I was like, come on, man. Read the script, dude. I broke out the old catechism to be like George

and start talking Catholicism, like talking shop with him, Catholicism. And he's looking at me as I'm talking and explaining our shared, one-time shared faith. And he's got the face that an adult has when a child over-explains Star Wars. And then finally he goes, You really believe in all this shit, don't you? And I said, Yeah, my god, you were

raised Catholic, you don't? And he goes, No, I'm smarter than that. And so that was the kind of the beginning of the end, then 12 years of smodcast will really disabuse anybody of their childhood faith. Oh, yeah, just sitting opposite and agnostic. Like not even Scott Moser wasn't even an atheist. Agnostic, man, but one of the most practical people I ever met and slowly over time, if you ever listened to that show, because we started in what 1997? Was it 97? 2007.

From 2007 till probably about 2017, you could slowly hear my faith like chip away and stuff like that. I thought it was just dealing with the internet. Believe me, life just lights the faith out of you sometimes. For some people, makes their faith stronger. For others, I got to a place where I was like, this isn't working for me anymore. Now, do I miss it?

Absolutely. When you almost died, did that also affect how you view all of it? You would imagine that in the moment of, you know, my God, when I was told by the cardiologist, you're having a widow maker. I said, what's that? And he goes, seriously? And then he explained it.

He's just like, in 80% of the cases where you have right now, 100% blockage in your LAD across the front of your heart, 80% of the cases, the patient always dies. He's like, but you're gonna be in the 20% because I'm good at my job. And he disappeared into my crotch and made magic. So that's how they get to your heart through your femoral artery and shit. So the whole time he's down there,

I keep looking down and see this guy's head bobbing up and down in my crotch. I was like, go figure. No. This is how I was gonna die, I knew it. I knew it. Yeah, nobody told me that. So I'm looking up at the ceiling and going like,

wow, this might be the last room I'm ever in, man. This might be the last ceiling I ever see. And so it occurred to me at that point, I was like, if you're ever gonna fucking call on your childhood faith, you're ever gonna pray, fuck, this would be the time. And then I realized, like, if I start praying and there is a God, he's gonna be like,

you made dogma, fuck me. So I opted not to pray in that moment. Instead started the movie of my life. They tell you life flash before your eyes. So I was like, I'm gonna start the fucking flick early and stuff. Mercifully, the dude saved me and whatnot. And so I got to stick around. So that will feed that and like 22 years of life fed the script for Dogma.

Like I started writing it when I was 22. I started writing it before Clerks. It was called God back then. Then we made the movie in like 98. So from age 22 till about 27, Dogma was shaped and formed by my life experience, my childhood, my pop culture intake, my thoughts, feelings about faith, everything. Anything I'd learned goes into that.

If I'd made a sequel like one or two years later, then it's just like not being fed as well as the first one was. Then it's just like, they're back Bartleby. So now I've been writing a dog my sequel and I've literally had 25, 26 years since the first one to live a whole ass other life, like another lifetime. And that lifetime was not just full of everything that happened to me previously and when I was a kid all the way up to there, but it also includes like getting married, having a kid, almost dying, losing my mind

and shit like that. And everything I've experienced, like losing my faith as well, over the last 25, 26 years. So as I write the dogma follow-up, sequel, whatever you want to call it, I'm happy because it's fed by a lifetime of experience, just like the first one was fed previously

by a lifetime of experience. And all those experiences, like almost dying, that's going to be in there as well. Dude, because right after watching the movie, my first thought was, well, Rufus would be 25. Mm-hmm. I was like, I'm a dog in a... Right after watching the movie, my first thought was, oh, Rufus would be 25. I was like, I'm a head dog. The whole movie centers around Bethany's daughter who is named Rufus.

Yes, no, very excited. And you're absolutely right. She's like 25, 26 right now. By the time we're done with the movie, probably 26. And let me tell you something, I'm not gonna spill any beans, but a dogma sequel will I hope of everyone will dig it but a horror crowd is absolutely gonna fuck bring it back to where religion really begins

The first dogma there are those horror elements in there you've got the Golgotha you get the shit demon You know you have heads exploding, you know, God exploding head. There's so much. I stole that from Marvel, like black, you know, black bolt. Whenever he opens his mouth, he runs the risk of killing Medusa and shit. It was always so poignant and stuff. So when I was writing dog, I was like, Oh, fucking I'm taking that part. Yeah. So that I owe that to Marvel. I will. I owe so much to me. It's fine. You invented the Stan Lee cameo you're allowed I will take that one. Thank you Yeah, man, it's so interesting to hear that when you made that movie you had faith

Because it was something that really helped me lose mine It's so interesting because I went to Catholic school I'm always kind of questioned it but not really and then when I saw that movie, I'm like, yeah This is all fucking joke, you know, it's crazy like how the movie affects people in both Directions I wouldn't say like it's a binary equation But for as many people and I saw a lot of them on tour during the Q&A who were like This is the movie that liked to help me get back in touch with my faith I was always like, oh right on but then there's also a who were like, this is the movie that helped me get back in touch with my faith. I was always like, oh, right on.

But then there's also a bunch of people like, this is the movie that let me step away from the church. And I'm like, oh, thank you. That was us. It's crazy how both journeys come from the same movie, how two audiences can see that movie and draw different conclusions. You know what I'm saying? But at least that's after they see that movie and draw different conclusions? You know what I'm saying? But that at least that's after they see the movie like we almost got killed in advance of the movie last time back in the

90s Because there is you know the Catholic League not the Catholic Church Catholic Church didn't give a fuck about this movie Catholic League the self-appointed media watchdog group drummed up a lot of controversy around the flick You know because nobody had seen it yet And they were saying things about the movie that The movie really wasn't about once people could see the movie for themselves all that shit went away For example, you know, I know it's like 25 26 years later, but having just been on tour with dogma again No fucking death threats

The pro only protests I saw were adorable. I saw a kid, an 18, 19-year-old kid in Dallas standing at the head of the driveway of the mall where the movie theater was. And he had a sign, poster board, it says AMC Blast Films, and it had the poster, the new version of the dogma poster in the center of it. And so I was in a car, and I'm like driver's seat, passenger seat's empty, and then he's just right there

on the street holding this sign at the light. So I lay on the horn like, eh, eh, give him support and shit. And he's so happy. He looks around and he sees me. And then he sees my face and he turns and he shuns me. No fucking scrimmage. Just one kid there at LA. When you joined your own protest, that was one of my favorite of your moments. It was incredible. I did. I couldn't do that this time because there aren't enough people protesting. Yeah, back in 99, I joined the protest that was happening right around my local theater.

I saw in our newspaper in the Asbury Park Press, they were like, the Knights of Columbus, this is going to be a 5,000 person protest. It was a Sony Lowe's at that point, at the middle, at the Monmouth Mall. So that was like five minutes from my house because I lived in Osherport at the time. I said, we have to go, man. And Brian Johnson, my friend who's living with us at the time, he goes, you can't go, they'll see you. I said, no, but if there's 5,000 people, it's gonna be very hard to pick me out of a crowd.

I was like, as long as we're holding protest signs, we should be fine. So we made protest signs. One said, to hell with dogma. And the other said, dogma is dog shit. Colored them in and stuff. Blue sparklies, like real big. And then we drove over to the theater. It was me and Brian and my wife.

And when we get there, there's not 5,000 people. There's 15 white hairs and blue hairs, old people. And they got a crucifix that they got with them and shit. And they're praying the rosary. So my wife was like, well, this is a bust. You want to go home? I was like, no, man, they need the numbers. We went out and joined them and held our fucking signs and prayed the rosary.

I prayed the rosary. Brian didn't know the rosary. I prayed the rosary. Brian didn't know the rosary, so I was praying the whole time and stuff. Then the Channel 12 news van pulled up. A lady gets out the clipboard and the guy gets out the camera and shit. You could tell they're disappointed. There ain't 5,000 people here. There's only 15 people here. They're looking at all 15 trying to figure out who they could talk to for their news

piece. And she's going down the line, and she looks, you know, me right in the eyes, and I look back at her while I'm praying the Elmerian stuff. And then she keeps going, then she comes back, looks at me. Then she looks at her clipboard, then she looks back up, and she races over to me. She's like, "'Are you him?' And I was like, "'No, that's him.'" And I pointed to the crucifix.

And she was like, "'Well, can I interview you?' And I said like, No, that's him. And I pointed to the crucifix. She was like, Well, can I interview you? And I said, Yeah. Because she had asked me again, she was like, No, you look like the guy I said, No. Then she goes, Seriously, I said, I tell you, I'm not him. And like three times I denied it. I heard a cock cruck. Like, you want to look, can I interview you? I said, Absolutely. And she brings the guy over the camera. And he looks at me like, isn't this the guy? And then they start rolling. And she's like, what are you doing here? And I was like, well, I'm here to protest.

And she's like, why? And I was like, well, I've heard things about the movie. None of them good. And she's like, what's your name? I was like, Brian Johnson. And she afterwards, after she interviewed me, she turned off the camera. She was just like, you are that guy.

I know it. And I was like, I tell you, I'm not that guy at all. I don't even like black and white movies. She took off. And that night when we went back home, like 1115 that night, 1130, my mom called, man. I saw like a message from my mom, like her name come up on the phone. So I picked up the phone. I was like, you all right, man? And she goes, yeah, Tiger, I was just watching the news.

And there's a boy on TV who looks like you, but his name is Brian Johnson. Nothing like that this time, man. Like, if I had gone out to join a protest, it would have been me and that fucking 18, 19-year-old kid. And he didn't seem to want me there. There was one for the opening night of the tour in LA we started on Easter Sunday, 420. Yeah, bro. That was a good one.

It was a good way to start. As I went in, there were two people holding like a man and a woman and they had a banner, a stick with a banner in between another stick that had a Mary crying on it like why or some such shit and I went out and because I was the first night of the tour man as I was running in I said what's outside and I said don't worry about taking a picture on the red carpet and I said no what what is going on they said you're being protested I was like oh so I went out there nice and I took a selfie with them, and they didn't like that shit at all.

But, you know, it was my experience, too. Yeah, man. You know, when I wanted to prep for the interview and watch Dogma again, I wasn't able to make it to the movies, unfortunately, which I'm very disappointed about. But I did the next best thing in honor of you. I went to the local video store and I rented it for the DVD from them. And it was very cool three dollars Had a great time five days. It was wonderful because you can't where's the video store given props where is called?

Hold on. I got that be kind video in Burbank So yeah, they were they have everything there was great only a dollar late for each day wonderful stuff But they also gave me the special features DVD. And... Nice! You got the fat edition. Yeah, I did, I did. And so I was watching all the deleted scenes. Horrible. Great job cutting them out.

And, uh... That's why they're all omitted. But the coolest thing for me when I was watching all that was looking at you do the interviews beforehand, and you had Harley sitting on your knee during the interviews. And was just like I'm sitting on my fucking makes movies with her now And I think that's the coolest thing in the world I love it so much and like it was that always your plan to like have her join the family business Like if you're a longer, that's the plan, you know And so like what? As long as she was interested in it, yeah, it was never

anything that I was like, hey, man, you got to be doing this shit. Like I was pushing writing. She would sit around and watch iCarly when she was a kid, the first version of iCarly. And I would be like, well, this is fun. I said, but you know what's more fun than watching iCarly? You should write one of these.

Like just go write one, man. It's a good time when you're in charge and stuff. So I was always pushing writing. I was like, you're going to write. You're the kid of two writers, man. Your mom's a writer, I'm a writer, you're meant to write. And then she wound up falling in love with acting. And so I was like, oh, well, I know a fucking thing or two about that as well.

So it was kind of a delight. And you know, Jennifer naturally was like, well, I know you do it, but like, that's a tough business. You know, she generally had the same kind of outlook that most parents have when you're like, I want to be an actor in the movies. They're always like, well, maybe get a, you know, a fucking degree in something else so you have something to back you up and stuff.

But I couldn't be that guy. Like I could never be the guy that's like, you should do something practical. Like I made Clark, so I have to be like, oh, my God, chase your fucking dreams and shit. So I loved it when she went into acting because I'll be honest with you, like, I had a lot more time with my kid than most people get with their kid

because I didn't have a traditional job, right? So I'd have a nine to five that took me out of the house all the time. When we did have to go to a place to shoot a movie, whole family would go, and the kid, I'd put the little kid in the movie and stuff. So she was always around. But you know, because I had the life that I had, it all went so fucking quick. Like I remember, you know, when there was this one day we were in the bedroom upstairs, like the me and Jen's room,

and the kid wanted to play hide and seek. I was like, all right, and so we played hide and seek for a fucking hour, man. And like any fun that existed in the first 10 minutes was gone. Like the room's big, but it ain't that fucking big. We're just like, how many ways can we do this? And so I remember her, I said, all right kiddo, that's it.

And I remember her going, one more, one more. And I was like, no, kiddo, we already did it for an hour. And the look of disappointment on her face, momentary, because we did something else. But the look of disappointment on her face just stuck with me. And then before I knew it, that was it. She was never playing hide and seek again because she was a teenager and fucking in her 20s and stuff. You realize you're not in that fucking cat's in the cradle kind of way, but you realize

that's it, man. I ain't ever gonna have a chance to play with the kid again because now she's grown up. By being in the movies and stuff, that's kind of like a second bite at the apple. Like, hey, we get to fucking pretend, we get to play. Like we did when you were little and like I would get bored of doing from time to time.

Like, now I've learned to cherish it. So it's like a do-over of sorts. Even though the first time wasn't so bad at all, but it's like, oh my God, I could still in this way play with the kid. Like, and it reminds me of like her being little and stuff. So yeah, and also I think she's a great performer. You know, she looks like me and sounds like me,

and I'm a big Kevin Smith fan. So, I like her work as well. Yeah. Speaking of acting, like Dogma has, one of the things about Dogma, it just has an incredible cast. Like you mentioned- Yeah, we got very lucky cast.

Crazy cast. You mentioned, yeah, George Carlin earlier, you have Alan Rickman Salma Hayek Chris Rock You know Matt Damon Ben Affleck and then but we were talking before the show our favorite Actor in the movie is Jason Muse Laughs in that room I would go see it and it's been to be honest because we're all comedians It's been it's you know, it's it's a weird time to be a comedian. But it's also one of those things where it was so nice to be in a room

where we all could laugh at Jason Muse. And he popped. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was honestly every night that I watched the movie. I was like, motherfucker just steals the show. Like that was the strongest. And I realized like what happened to my career, because like if you look at the beginning of my career, it was like, motherfucker just steals the show. Like that was him at his strongest. And I realized like what happened to my career. Cause like, if you look at the beginning of my career, it was like, my God, he could be a thing.

But then after Dogma, I made like 28 Jane Silent Bob movies because I fell in love with Jason Mewes' performance. By the time we got to Dogma, he had perfected that character. And like, I was like, oh my God, I could do so much with him now. Now he's a real actor. Clark Small Ranch Chasing Amy, he was my friend

that I put in movies. We get to Dogma, I'm like, oh my god, he's fucking stealing the movie out from fucking Alan Rickman, from George Carlin, from Ben and Matt, for Christ sakes. I remember being at the New York Film Festival, and we had everybody with us afterwards on stage so it was me, Alan, Ben, Matt, Chris, Salma, let me see who else. Everybody was talking about George Carlin and Alan Rickman but you had Salma fucking Hayek in that movie. We were all on stage together except Jason Muse

who had been there for the opening of the of show, but then went to a hotel with his girlfriend and never came back for the Q&A. And so while we're there, like somebody asks a question, and Matt's answer right off the bat is like, I just want to point out that like he's not here, but Jason Mewes stole the show out from seasoned professionals and shit. And the whole audience fucking applauded.

Every night I sat there watching the show, like we got a casting call credits where everybody gets their own shot and they break character and stuff. And so there's art and applause and whatnot. But then when you hit Jason Lee, the applause take a jump. Then you hit Alan Rickman and the applause take another jump. And then right at or hit hit muse the applause take a huge fucking jump then you hit Rickman and the applause take another jump so I told Jason I was like bro every night they fucking love you they love you so much but when it comes to the casting call they love Alan just a little bit more and Jay's like yeah well wait till I fucking die. You know what I mean? So, it is, he is, he's so magical in that movie. Opening night of the tour when we were in Los Angeles, like I intro'd the movie and

he was there and we were leaning on the wall watching the movie in the back, you know, for the first 20 minutes of the flick. And as I'm watching it, I'm falling in love with his performance all over again. I'm going, look at this motherfucker, man. I'm looking up at this baby face Jason Muse stealing the show. And I was like, I'm going to tell him that he's a goddamn champ. And I look from the baby face Jason Muse to the withered crypt keepers to my right. Old fucking 50 year old man. And I was like, you were great when you were a kid captain But yeah, he is he steals the fucking show man, and hopefully he'll steal it again and dog But to go and into it like you know cuz you said that he was just you know your friend that you put in movies

Like how did you prepare him for acting alongside you know? Shakespearean actor Alan Rickman yeah They like they get like but heard about how good everybody like like are they like fancy actors? Are they kind of like what the fuck everyone loved Muse? So they were happy to see me who shunned and some of them worked with them before right like so Ben and Matt knew Jay Yeah, but like for Salma for Chris for Alan like he was all new to them They fell in love with them and stuff and And they, you know, also, you look at that cast, you're like, one of these things is not like the other.

He's the least famous person up there. But so they all kind of held him in their hearts to begin with. And then you add to it, he just absolutely kills. He slays in the role. Going into the movie, like before the movie even, I got him like nervous about it. I tried to scare him because I was like, hey, man, you can't do what you did on the other three

movies. You got to come prepared. You got to know your script and stuff. You got to memorize your lines this time around because we got real actors in the movie this time. He goes, who, like Ben Affleck? I was like, no, I'm talking about real actors in the movie this time. And we got Alan Rickman. He's like, who's that? I was like, that's the guy from Die Hard. He goes, Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker? I was like, that's the other guy. I was like, the bad guy. And he goes, so what? And I was like, so what, man?

That's Alan Rickman, man. That's that dude, he's British, and the Brits invented acting. So they ain't going to stand for your snoochie-boochies nonsense. I mean, you got come prepared and shit like that. And if he smells inauthenticity, he's going to leap on you, man. Like that dude, they'll give you a cold, hard stare. They can destroy you, the Brits, man.

So you got to come prepared. And so our first rehearsal, he came. Normally, I rehearse with everybody, but I rehearse with them separately before we incorporate him into the normies. And so it was just me and him. And I was like, where's your script? He goes, I don't need it. And I was like, bullshit. He was like, try me. And I start like, where's your script? He goes, I don't need it. And I was like, bullshit.

He was like, try me. And I start reading all the lines. And he knows all his lines. And I jump all over the script. He knows his lines in every scene. I was like, you memorized all your lines. And he goes, I memorized the whole script. I was like, what do you mean?

He goes, I know everybody's lines. I was like, bullshit. He goes, try me. So I start reading Ben's lines. He's doing Matt's lines. I start reading Chris Rock's lines. He's doing Linda Fiorentino's lines back into it. I was like, you memorized the whole fucking script? Who are you, Rain Man? Like, why'd you do that? And he goes, I don't want to piss off that Rickman dude.

When he finally met Alan at the first rehearsal and talked to Alan and worked with Alan, afterwards he came back to the room because we shared, we had a suite. Like, he had a room, I had a room, we shared the living room because I had to keep my eye on him. And so he comes back to the room and he goes, that Rickman dude's a pussy. I could totally kick his ass. I said, why would you want to? And he goes, you said that I should be scared of him. I said, as a performer, like, I meant fear or like respect and stuff. And they became such good friends. Like Alan absolutely loved Jason. Jason, like I've told the story a zillion times, but it's always worth telling. One of the weirdest things I ever saw on a movie set, Stay With Me Forever,

is I was set up that we're in the third act, we're setting up a shot like we're all hell's break loose in front of the church. And so I go to the snack Canyon table, get some free M&Ms and shit. And as I'm walking past, I see the weirdest fucking thing I ever saw. Alan Rickman, Jason Muse on the steps of the church, deeply engaged in conversation. And I remember thinking, what the fuck could these two possibly have to say to one another? So I went over to Alan later on when he was by himself, and I was like, hey, man, if Jason Muse is bothering you, you just tell me.

And he goes, Jason Muse could never bother me because Jason Muse is the best that America can be. And I was like, what? And he goes, Jason Muse is an American icon. So forever since then, because I told Muse that night and he was like, what's an icon? And I told him, he was like, that's good. So forever, whenever like I correct Jason on something, I was like, you fucking did this wrong. He's like, which one of us is the American icon?

He became friends, man. It was lovely. And having that duty, put on no errors whatsoever. He really dug the script and whatnot. And he like did the money, the movie for no money. He really dug the script and whatnot. He did the movie for no money. When we did our screenings at Smodcastle for Dogma during the tour, we had the archives there at the comic book store. We went through and pulled some cool shit to hang up on the walls. We found the original deal memos that we sent to Alan Rickman's agent, Ben Amad's agent, and shit.

It's like, dear Patrick Weitzel, we'd like to offer your client Alan Rickman the role of Metatron. The offer is scale plus 10, which is like movie minimum wage and shit. So he gave us that brilliant performance for minimum wage, for the fucking like essentially 15 bucks an hour. Nowadays, it was back then it was like five an hour and shit. So what a lovely man. I was always a fucking huge fan. Never thought about putting him in the movie because I loved him so much. I was like, why would you put Alan Rickman in a Kevin Smith movie? But he reached out to us, man. He, John Gordon, who worked at Miramax, called me one day. And he goes, you'll never guess who

came in here today. I said, who? He goes, Alan Rickman. I was like, Hans fucking Gruber was in the building. Did he blow it up or what? He goes, Alan Rickman. I was like, Hans fucking Gruber was in the building. Did he blow it up or what? He goes, no, man, he was here to talk about this Merchant Ivory movie we want to put him in. But all he wanted to talk about was whoever made Chasing Amy. And I was like, I made Chasing Amy. He's like, yeah, man. And he likes that movie. You might, we should send him the script for Dogma. I was like, yeah, he could be Metatron.

And the fastest yes I ever got in my career from an actor, Shy of Jason Muse, who says yes before he finished the title, was Alan Rickman. Wow. How was getting Alanis Morrison? Awesome, easy. I had reached out to Alanis, well, Alanis reached out to me. Like one day my agent called me, it was 1996, and he goes, hey man, you know that singer

who sings about blowing dudes in movie theaters? Dave Cooley. I was like, I said her name is Alanis Portes. He goes, she wants to meet you. I said, hopefully in a movie theater. And he goes, no, it's at a restaurant. And so I met her at this restaurant in 1996 called Montana's in Santa Monica. And she was like, I'm a big fan.

We just got done with the tour. It was Jagged Little Pill Tour. She's like, and we watched Clerks every night on the bus to go to sleep and shit. And I was like, oh, that rocks. I said, well, I got in my bag that I have with me because I'd just gotten off the plane from Jersey, VHS dailies of everything on Chasing Amy because we just finished the movie.

I said, well, I got the new movie right here in the bag. She goes, can I see it? I was like, well, it's not cut together, but I can show you scenes. And so we went back to her place, and I showed her the rain scene and stuff. And she was like, oh, this is like Clark's but classy. And I was like, yeah, man.

I said, you should see the next movie we're doing is a movie called Dogma. It's about like angels and devils and stuff. I said, you know what? You would be amazing, like, in the movie. You should play the lead. And she was like, me? I've never acted before in my life. I said, bullshit, you act You would be amazing in the movie. You should play the lead. And she was like, me?

I've never acted before in my life. I said, bullshit. You act in those music videos. Yeah. And you were on You Can't Do That on Television, man. You acted like you didn't know the green slime was coming. That's acting. And she was like, no, I don't think

I could carry a whole movie, man. Thank you, but no thank you. Then I didn't hear from her for a long time. And later on, we found Linda Fiorentino. She became our Bethany and stuff. So I'm driving out to Pittsburgh to start shooting the movie from Jersey. It's like a six hour drive.

And I have one of the earliest fucking cell phones, like a Nokia or something like that. And it rang, which is weird because it was really just for emergencies. I answer, I say hello, and she goes, "'Kevin, it's Lance Morrisett.'" I said, "'How'd you get this number?' She goes, "'I called information 4 Morris. I said, how'd you get this number? She goes, I called information, 411.

And I was looking for your home, but they gave me your childhood home number. And so I spoke to your dad. What the fuck? And your dad gave me this number. He goes, oh, he's got a phone in the car, a big shot. Call him there. And so she's like, I said, that does sound like dad.

She goes, so I said, what's up? And she said, you know, I just got back from India and I feel rested and I'm writing my new album. And as that song, thank you came from that trip. And she goes, but I remembered that before I left, you had asked me to play the lead in your movie. And I said, no, cause I was scared and nothing good ever comes from fear.

Like, you know, I tend to head towards the things that challenge me, and I didn't, and I regret it. She's going, so this is me calling to say, if there's anything left in the movie, I would love to come play with you. And I said, well, there's one small but crucial role that's left. And she said, what is it?

I said, you could play God. And she goes, me? Why me as God? I said, because I always thought God would be Canadian. And she loved that. I'm trying to. Fly from North Way. I have a Chasing Amy question.

Fire away. So, our worst friend, his name is Holden McNeely. Oh, seriously? Wait, spell it, spell it. MCNEELY. That's wild. His name is Holden McNeely and he married a lesbian. Do you have any advice for him? Yeah, I

Are too and for some reason I have no idea why she chose him my advice for him is lawyer up motherfuckers feeling the plot of chasing Amy and I won't have it I Don't have much in my life holding McNeely. Don't fucking take that from me. How wild, man. That'd be like meeting Kevin Smithy. You know, in movies, if you take your name off a movie, used to be, you'd replace it with Alan Smithy. And I was always waiting to make a movie so bad

that it could be a Kevin Smithy film. I know some people are like, you made it, buddy, but for my money, I haven't made it yet. One day though, I will. You were also the first man in pop culture to make fun of Podcast House, which I do want to say, again, that's a part of what made it legit, I feel like, in many ways. I honestly take great pride in Tusk being the first movie that features podcast.

Yeah. It was in... It is so new to the mainstream that Justin's character has to explain what a podcast is to the guy at the TSA, to the TSA agent, or not the TSA, the customs agent in Canada. I mean, it's a great way to do it it. But nowadays, you wouldn't even have to just be like, Oh, I'm a podcast. Oh, dude, I travel with a microphone a lot of places and I still have to do the same. Really? Oh, yeah, because they all look at the microphone like

it's an old like it's an old timey tick tock. The wires and you're like, buddy, it's a fucking microphone. It's like, what? Right? I'm glad I remember somebody back in the day being like, explain it. And you know, it was like, back in the day, I used to explain it like, have you ever listened to a commentary track on a movie? It's like a commentary track if there was no movie.

No, it was incredible to watch it at the time, because you know, we were, it's still kind of in the infancy of podcasting, but at that point we'd been doing it for like five or six years, and I was constantly explaining to people what a podcast was all the time, but it was so cool to finally see it on the screen.

I went and saw it in the theater to see, oh, we're there. It means the fucking world for you to shout that out, because I remember how important that was to me. I love and still love it, but when we started, I loved podcasting. The idea of having my own fucking radio show. Where I came from in Jersey, there was a local radio station called WRAT, The Rat.

I always dreamed maybe one day I'd get enough money that I could buy The Rat, play any music I wanted and just sit around and talk whenever I wanted to. And then one day Scott Moser comes into the office. He's like, have you heard the Ricky Gervais podcast yet? And I was like, what's the podcast? And he was just like, people sit around, man, they just talk. And Moser was the one. He was like, it's kind of like a commentary track for a movie, but there's no fucking movie there and shit.

And I was like, well, we can probably do one of these podcasts. And I never listened to anyone. We just sat down and started doing one and shit. And, you know, it was this thing of like, my God, nobody's telling us what to do. Nobody's telling us to stop. We can talk about anything we want. I enjoy talking to this motherfucker.

One thing it did spoil in my life though was I stopped talking to people until there was a microphone on it. Because I'd be like so many times across and sure it's happening to you, like, wait, wait, wait, save that for the show. Like I do it with my kid to this day. My kid and I would be talking about something cool and I'm like, wait, wait, wait, save that for our show and stuff. So I noticed that early on. Like as much as I love talking to Scott Mosier, I it became reserved for when there was a microphone there because I was like, well, if we just talk to each other, it's wasted, man. Like, but if we have a mic, it

captures it. And I love that aspect. When I first started podcasting, like, you know, people had cell phones with cameras in them, that shit was on the rise, the smartphone and shit. So everyone started taking pictures, Everyone became a fucking photographer. So nobody's ever going to forget what anybody fucking looks like. But when a motherfucker dies, the first thing you lose is the sound of their voice. That's what I loved about podcasting back in the day is like capturing voices of people I love. I sat down with my mom, recorded podcasts, sat down with people who aren't with us anymore, like Stan Lee and so forth, and recorded,

and their voices are there. I'll never forget what they sound like. And so I love that, and I would encourage people all the time, like sit down, record podcasts with your parents, with your grandparents and stuff like that, because you're gonna need those voices one day. You know, pictures, you're always gonna remember

what they look like, but the sound of their voice the inflection the tone all that shit slips away, but now Everybody knows what everybody sounds like for until the end of time so much so that an AI can duplicate you if it needs Oh, yeah, dude, you're it's gonna be we're all gonna end up in gay porn in Europe I'm here for it man. As long as they give me a cut. I just want to wet my beak a little. That's all. I honestly value. We had my mom on the show a bunch of times and I value it so much. Yeah. And it means she's living life right. Extremely problematic woman but love. If she was still alive she was cancelled. But I get to have that. So

it's very nice. Alright who to win in an wrestling match? Ben Affleck or Matt Damon? Ben Affleck. Wow. Quick. Ben's got the size. I don't know if you've ever seen him, but Ben's a fucking giant. He's huge. And I wouldn't say Matt's short, but he's more my height. So Ben just has the fucking over the top advantage. Soon as Affleck turns his hat backwards, you're fucked.

Oh, it's awesome. Over the top. Do you ever miss being fat? I still consider myself fat, so I don't miss it. In fact, I ruin it. Like, and when I like I know I'm thinner now than I had been most of my life, or most of my career. But when I take off these clothes, like I don't see a thin person, I'm not cut by any stretch of the imagination. And I have been fat for so long that I've drapey

fucking skin. So I always refer to it as like, remember in the Shining, when Nicholson goes into into the bathroom, sexy chick gets out of the tub and shit. And then he's holding her Megan out and then also any fucking looks at her steps away and she's like, That's what my body looks like. It's also what Jack Nicholson looks like. That's what my body looks like. It's also what Jack Nicholson looks like now. Obviously, that's true.

But he's earned it for heaven's sake. If you shave me, I look like I have the body of an abuelita. Like I'm a Mexican granny. That's the thing. It's like I don't take my shirt off in public. I don't take my shirt off at home. Me and my wife have been fucking 27 years. I've never taken my shirt off to have sex. Wow! Yeah, honestly! Yeah!

So, Batman, what is the best bagel in Momoth County? Best bagel in Momoth County, let me see. Oh, Bagel Station. Bagels as big as your fucking head, man. They're huge, but made with that East Coast water so they have the consistency they need. Fuck, this bagel could feed a family of five for a day. Thank you very much. I appreciate that.

Who is your number one underrated director that you think deserves more love? Martha Coolidge. Martha Coolidge directed one of my favorite films of all time, Valley Girl. She directed Real Genius and she directed Rambling Rose, three in a row, bang, bang, bang. You get a trifecta like that today, they would call you the fucking future of cinema for the rest of your life.

They would call you cinema itself. But Martha worked at a time when directors didn't get the spotlight put on them as much. Yes, there have always been directors, and yes, there have always been well-known directors like Steven Spielberg, George Lucas, Martin Scorsese, but not everybody was ever that well-known and stuff. So I thought she's still believed

her to be an incredible storyteller. Valley Girl not only set the tone for me for rom-coms and meet-cutes, but, like, it fed mine. I don't get to, Clerks, Mallrats, or Chasing Amy without Valley Girl. Real Genius introduces us to the brilliant Val Kilmer for the first time in a really fucking funny, clever film that still holds up today.

And Ramblin' Rose, like, if I remember correctly, that was the movie. I don't think Laura Dern got a County of Me Award nominated, but she was getting all the awards circuit talk that year and stuff like that. So three wonderful movies in a row. She's had made many things since then, of course. But I never felt like she got the props she was due. So in the 430 movie, the movie I made last year, one of my characters talks about wanting

to go to film school, wanting to go to RISD, the Rhode Island School of Design, just like her hero, Martha Coolidge. So you mentioned rom-coms, and of course we talk about tasks. So what is more fun for you, a rom-com or a horror movie? Oh, such an interesting question. Making... What it comes down to is how the audience is going to react. And surprisingly, the button that you fucking try to find

and push for making people laugh is shockingly close to the one that makes people go, you know, that plays on their fears, that unsettles them as well. So I feel like, you know, I've always been like, I don't think I can make a true horror movie. Like that's for the likes of, you know, John Carpenter or somebody like that.

I said, but I can unnerve people I think I could do that so the horror movies I've made are more unnerving films like Tusk and Red State and stuff like that and I've noticed that the the reactionary buttons to laughter and fear similar and very fucking close in terms of which one's more fun it's always more fun to make people laugh Well, no, it's fun to make people scared but the it's better to make people laugh because you make people scared They'll remember you one way for the rest of your life You make people laugh they'll welcome you all the time because you gave them something at one point that was valuable to them and stuff

I'm not saying if you make them scared they were like, but if you them laugh you get to make them breakfast. Yeah, I know exactly what you mean Yeah, clerks three made me cry. What the fuck? I Was tear hunting I really wanted to go in there and here's the thing I felt clerks was a total surprise right like nobody saw it coming The surprise of clerks 2 was like, oh shit, there's some heart to it. Like there's depth to it and it's in color

and it doesn't take place where the first clerks took place and blah, blah, blah. By the time you get to the third one, you're like, how the fuck can you surprise them anymore? And I was like, oh, I know how to surprise them. Like we'll make a comedy, but then we'll take it real at the end. And I, you know, there's some people like, who didn't like that.

Some people felt like, oh, God, he got too self serious. But for me, it's like, I'm a middle aged man. These are the things I fucking think about. And my gift to the audience, if you could call it that, with Clerks 3 was a reminder, like, hey, man, remember all those dreams you had and all those things you wanted to do and all the plans you've got? Hurry the fuck up. It's just a gentle prodding of like, kids, we all die.

And as I now live in a world where people I know and have known my whole life aren't with me anymore because they fucking passed, it fed what Clerks 3 became. So I personally, as the world's biggest Kevin Smith fan and somebody deeply invested in Clerks, I love how it stuck the landing. I love how it's an, Ouroboros,

it's a snake that eats its own tail in as much as they make Clerks in Clerks 3. So I love the meta aspect of it. I love that we got to go home again, shoot in the store and have them shoot their movie in the store as well. So I absolutely adore that flick. But there's so many people who, like, hate me for it. I get on social media all the time,

it was Friday night, and I was looking forward to some laughs, so I rented Clerks III. Fuck you to death. Hashtag Justice for Dante. Um, recently, I was in Jersey, and I was at the, um, where was it? three. Fuck you to death. Hashtag justice for Dante. Recently, I was in Jersey and I was at the where was it? It's the Wawa top of the hill in Highlands. And I went to get a Celsius and shit. And I walked in. Nobody at the counter just

two machines just scan yourself. I was like, well, this would be clerks for two machines. So I get my Celsius and like I go to scan it and I can't scan it and I'm trying to scan it to repeated times. I try weighing it that don't work and shit like that. I'm totally stymied and then a voice from behind me a local goes, I bet you're sorry you killed Dante now motherfuckers. Dante, I'll tell you man, Dante, there's a Clerks 3.5 that's coming out next month.

It's called Archie Meets Jane and Silent Bob. It's a comic book that I did for the Archie people. And it's set in the continuity of Clerks. So it takes place after the death of Dante. And Archie Andrews gets like an after school job at Quick Stop. And Randall takes a shine to him because he reminds him of Dante where he's like, oh, you've got two girls who are after you as well and one of them is named Veronica and you're a G-Shucks kind of guy.

Jane Silent Bob are in it as well. The whole thing ends at a Josie and the Pussycats concert in Riverdale. But it truly functions as Clerks 3.5 because in it, everybody acknowledges the fact that Dante is dead. You see what happened to Quick Stop after how it's changed in his absence. So I love it, man. Like it's crazy. I'm a fan of Archie, but it's not like I'm the world's biggest Archie fan.

But when the Archie folks reached out, I was like, you know, oddly enough, I'm kind of equipped to write this. And the book is crazy wholesome while being like filthy. There's curses all throughout it, they're smoking pot. But the one thing is when I told people like, oh, I'm doing this crossover, man, with Archie and Jay and Silent Bob, they're like, are Jay and Silent Bob

gonna fuck Betty and Veronica? And I'm like, no, no, Jay and Silent Bob are 50, fuck Betty and Veronica? No, no, Jane, Tom and Bob are 50 and Betty and Veronica are teenagers. But it's a wonderful book. It comes out like next month. But in all this clerk's talk, it just reminded me of it because I'm like, we continue the story,

oddly enough, in the Archie pages. And by the way, I loved those clerk's comics that you do with Jim Mafou back in the day for Oni Press. Those were, so I actually have a tattoo of like that. I loved those clerks comics that you do with Jim Mahfoo back in the day for Oni Press. So I actually have a tattoo of like that. Well it's a Jim Mahfoo art. Like I just love it so much. He got some Mahfoo art with the big fat black lines.

He's a genius. He did our cover for, I do a book for Dark Horse through my comic imprint, Secret Stash Press and it's called Quick Stop. So it's all these like view-excuse stories you would never make a movie for. But when they did the second hardcover, when they bind the four issues together, put it out as a trade, it's a hardcover trade.

Mahfoo did our cover of, and it's J and Sal and Bob, almost like Big Ed style in a van, a VW van with a movie like spare spare tire cover and shit is absolutely beautiful. He's an absolute genius, that guy. Oh yeah, and also like the comic book stuff that you do, like you know, the green arrow run, like bringing back Olly Queen was so cool. And the-

I got a book that drops today, man. My first Marvel book in, oh shit, ages, since I did Daredevil Target years ago. Yeah, is called the was giant size, the amazing Spider-Man and I got a 15 page story in it. It's fucking gorgeous, man. It just hit the stands today. How do you have the time? How is 15 pages? Just do so much shit. Yeah. But the thing is, it's stuff that appeals to me.

So like when they reached out and they're like, do you want to, it wasn't for a giant size annual, they were going to do this earth 616 book. So like, would you like to do a story for it? And I was like, oh, fucking yeah. So as soon as I got off the phone with Nick Lowe at Marvel, I started writing because like that appealed to me. I was like, oh, that's going to be fun. Same thing with the Archie book.

Soon as I got off the phone with Jesse, the guy who runs the place, and he was like, would you like to do a book here? I said, absolutely. I instantly started writing because I was like, oh, that's fun. I got a bunch of ideas. So if you see me doing a bunch of things,

number one, comics you do six months to a year ago. So like the Archie book I wrote, I wanna say like at least six months ago or something like that. So now it's coming into fruition here. This Marvel story I wrote probably roughly around the same time, six to eight months ago. So seeing it in print today is dope,

but I did the work back then. You make time for the work when it's stuff that you love. And it's, you know, it can't always be about like, I'm getting paid to do a thing. Yes, you get paid to write, you know, 15 pages of a Marvel comic, but not a lot. No. We've written stuff for DC and Dark Horse.

No, you know. So it's like, you're basically, if you're a person who writes three or four titles a month, you can really make a living. But if you're a carpet baggers like us, you're not there to collect the check. You're doing it for the passion. Just because you're like, what?

You're going to let me do this shit? Exactly. Done and done. So I still feel that way about comics. So when Nick Lowe at Marvel called up, when Jesse at Archie called up, you know, I was like, oh shit, yeah. And these are things that appeal to me. So it never feels like work.

And there's another thing I just, I guess I could say it, but I can't say what it is, but they're doing a Marvel DC crossover, and I saw my name floated in there, so I did my work for that as well. That'll happen later on. That's all right. So you make space for the things that means

Something to you and yes, they pay I you know put poo poo in it Like, you know a thousand two thousand bucks nothing to sneeze that shit But like I've had agents, you know for my day job who are like, why are you wasting your time writing comics? I can get you paid like a 100 times the amount you got paid for that comic book to write a real script. And I was like, yeah, but I wouldn't have the passion, the enthusiasm because that would be a job. This I did like with utter joy. It ain't about the money. It's like, you're going to let me fucking play with Reed Richards, done and done. Yeah. Because then you also don't have to go in front of a bunch of executives and pitch it and

get noted to death and have to go through all of the things that you have to go through when you're working. And you never once have to be like, who's going to pay for this? This seems expensive because somebody's drawn it. Some artists are spending time, not dimes. So I in comics, you know, they've always been a big part of my world and stuff. Of course, I love now being a publisher. I love having secret stash press. And now I'm starting because of secret stash press. I feel it's like I like I should start doing more crossovers. The Archie thing happened very easily. And you know, was came to my front door was such a delight that now I'm going to keep going. We're gonna cross over with some other imprints as well. Looking at all the Rocky and Bullwinkle stuff behind you big fan of Rocky and Bullwinkle Thank you is moose jaws a crossover moose jaws is I wanted you think that's fucking look at this

Dudley do right emporium back in the dam And they just had an auction recently and I bought that. Did you set out to create a Rocky and Bullwinkle room or did it just happen on its own? You know, honestly, this is so ironic. Like this office didn't look like this six months ago. What had happened was remember we had the fires here in town. Yeah. So I live right next to Runyon Canyon. And so they've actually evacuated us because they're like, hey, man, the fire's hitting the canyon.

And we left with nothing, left everything in the house, just grabbed the dogs and fucking took, you know, my computers and shit. And she took her jewelry and we fucking fled. And I look back and I saw the flames coming up over the hill. And I was like, well, that's it. There goes everything I own and all my childhood shit and fucking like the things I've held on to my life

like oddly enough one of the only things I brought with two things I brought brought with me besides my laptop I brought my silent bob outfit because I was like well I'll have to work eventually and then I brought my father's ashes which I was like why he's already pre-burned and shit. When we left, I thought that was it. I kept watching from my phone. We got the security cameras on the phone waiting for the fire to get here, but they dropped water.

They did those water bombers and shit, put out the running fire. So I got to go back that night. You would imagine the effect would have been let go know, let go of all your earthly possessions. Because clearly I was ready to, like I did. I drove away and I was like, man, fucking there goes my photo albums all throughout my childhood, scrapbooks I kept, the certificate that clerks got into fucking cans, shit like that.

My marriage certificate, which you noticed came way last. So when I came back, you'd imagine I would have kind of marriage certificate, which you noticed came way last. When I came back, you'd imagine I would have kind of gone monk-like and been like, hey, man, it's time to get rid of things. Instead, I went hard in the other direction. I started collecting Rocky and Bullwinkle, which has been a big thing for me. I used to collect it when I was a kid, up into my early 20s. Then clerks happened and I started doing my own thing.

I don't know if it was like somebody told me like, this is deeply psychological, Kevin. Like you went, you know, obviously that fire was traumatic for you, but it wasn't. We didn't lose anything. But maybe the threat of I don't know, but it resulted in me buying a fuck ton of Rocky and Bullwinkle shit on eBay for the next two months after the fire, like a fucking junkie every day. I'd be like, online going, I don't have that, I don't have that.

I started bidding. Then I went to, I went to, I went to Facebook Marketplace, man, which was a whole new discovery for me, and I started buying shit and going to pick it up in the real world, and then people be like, it is you. I was like, yeah. Yep, give me the shit.

Give me my bullwinkle shit. I like a discount as much as an extra guy. Then I just started buying Kevin Smith off fucking Facebook Marketplace, and then showing up just to watch their expressions change. Yeah! Where I'm like, they're like, why are you buying a Jay and Silent Bob figure?

I was like, why do you think? Yeah! Thank you. Thank you. Man, that is the ultimate lesson as an artist. I really appreciate it. Yeah, man, you're reinvesting in yourself. Damn, get to that point in your career, kids, where you can buy yourself from strangers

just to watch them smile or be puzzled. But yes, Moose Jaws is coming, man. I was just on the aforementioned Birdcatcher podcast last week, and I was like, hey, man, be in Moose Jaws. And he was like, I would love to. That's a funny idea. So that might give us some wind under our wings, man. I said it's on the script, but I haven't heard back from you yet. But I know he's a busy guy. I don't think you can read. We also had our budget to break down our effects shots. How many of the shots will be CG? That is a moose running through the brush and stuff. And how much will practical. Rubber moose with animatronics biting kids' heads off.

So we're getting closer. It will happen. And the inside dope about that is moose jaws is, if you loved Tusk, the story continues in moose jaws. Yeah. Oh yeah. I love how you bring it all back, dude. I really do love the world to your stuff.

This has been so special. Yeah, I mean, really, one thing that I have to ask you, that I want to ask you is, like, I know back in the day, you worked a little bit on a Superman movie, or there was, like, you know, the possibility of a Superman movie. And, you know, you're in comic books, you've done a lot of work for Marvel. Is there any possibility of you doing something

in the Marvel Cinematic Universe? Nah. Nah. I mean, like, number one, I'm not talented enough to do that. And I'm not being shy or whatever fuck or modest. I know I've got some degree of talent when it comes to doing Kevin Smith type things.

But those movies, like that takes a degree of talent that I don't have, a visual panache that I don't have. And when you're in comics, like all these comics that I've been writing and all the comics I've ever written, I have the ability to write, you know, Dr. Strange waves his hand and a wall opens up. Some amazing talented artist brings that to life. They're visually oriented, I'm a wordsmith.

So at the end of the day, like, I never feel a call to make one of those movies. Those movies are my religion, though. That's what I love to fucking watch. My grandmother used to watch Young and the Restless, and she'd be like, don't talk to me. My stories are on. Superhero movies, those are my stories, man.

Like, I'm religious about them. I treat them overly seriously. I look up to the people that make them. But I don't have it in me to make them myself. I don't think I can do it. I don't think I'm talented enough to do that kind of storytelling. Believe me, nobody's... Kevin Feige ain't calling, so there's no threat or worry there. Back in the day, I directed some CW shows. I did Supergirl and Flash. Yeah.

Three Flashes, I think. Four Supergirls. And I enjoyed it. Those were like a good time, man. But they shot for nine days, as opposed to like, you know, those feature shoot for sometimes a year. And by day six or seven, I was always like, are we still shooting this shit?

We're not done yet. Like, I kind of get restless easy. And shooting a dialogue movie, you're shooting tons of pages, like seven pages a day. Shooting superhero movies, you're lucky if you shoot a quarter page of a day, because you're shooting spectacle. So I love those movies so much,

but making one is anathema to me. You might as well be like, did you ever want to be an astronaut, Kev? I was like, well, it sounds fun, but like, not really. I mean, but I've done that to some degree as well. And but, you know, I'd rather honestly, if I was going to write, I know don't pay as much, but I'd rather write a comic book is as you said before, total control. I didn't have to do any fucking notes. I didn't have to sit in front of anybody about even pitch it.

I didn't have to educate them on who these fucking characters were and shit like that, and show them the box office grosses. I was just like, oh, I'm gonna tell this story. And they're like, oh my God, go. So when it comes to spectacle, visual spectacle, you gotta pair me up with an artist and then I could give you something.

Like even on Dogma, years ago, before I went off to make Dogma, a month before I left Jersey to go to Pittsburgh, I call up Robert Rodriguez because I had met Robert because, I mean, I knew him through Indie Film a little bit, but we became more friendly. He called me up one day and he goes, "'Wonder Brothers wants me to direct your Superman script.'"

And I was like, you should fucking do that. That's a great combo, dude. I said, that would be amazing. I said, Oh my god, I said, the script's fun, but you would make it something fucking special. So for like a couple of days, we talked about it and stuff. And then ultimately, he decided to go make the faculty for dimension because he felt he owed dimension. So we became friendly because of that. Right before I go shoot dogma, I called up Robert one night. And he was like, what's up?

I was like, hey man, so I'm supposed to make Dogma next month? This is me calling to be like, would you direct Dogma for me? He goes, what are you talking about? I was like, I like this script so much, man. I was like, it could be a cool movie, but I'm telling you right now, like I'm not the guy for it.

Like I can't pull it off and stuff. Like like this is we got a bigger budget this time around I said I think you would be the right person to do it and he talked me off a ledge he goes Kevin you can direct this he's going my only piece of advice to you is that instead of having a wall behind two characters who are talking to each other put a window put a put some depth. He's going, the only problem with your storytelling in film is that you stand two people against a wall and shoot that. He's going, you can't, you need depth in a film. And I was like, all right.

And so mercifully, I got to go make the flick with Bob Yeoman. Like, Wes Anderson let his DP out of the box for like one minute and stuff like that. But fucking, that, Bob made it beautiful for what it was and stuff. I'm not your comic book movie guy. Hold on one second. Your Joe's pinball machine is here.

Kids, I would not. You're gonna, you're gonna. Sorry. No, no, no. You just bought a pinball machine. Jennifer came in and she never comes down to my office and I'm like, oh my God, it's a passenger. But she came in to tell me,

and this will be relevant to our discussion, I just received a Jaws pinball machine. Yeah! So they're delivering it now and I need to go take pictures. That is the greatest excuse ever. Dude, I gotta say. It is. I hate to be 1% or first world, but I must go.

Yeah, you have to go. You've seen my Jaws pinball game. Dude, thank you for your years of work and thank you for talking to us. We're really very, so happy that we got to sit with you. Means the world, man. When they told me that you guys wanted me on, I knew the show.

And right away, I was just like, oh, I can't wait to talk horror with these guys. So thank you. Hell yeah. Thanks so much. We appreciate it. Go see dogma. Check it out. It's got a little old flick. Oh, it's so much fun to see in the theater. I love seeing old movies in the theater. It's nothing makes me happier. I'm so glad it's back. I'm so glad you're still fucking amazing and relevant and check out the Smod Castle Film Festival. It was so much fun. And submit to that as well. Thank you, sir.

Means the world. Means the world. Thank you. I'll see you later. See you, man! Thanks, Kevin. Bye, everybody! Live from North Way. Pinball machine.

That's so cool. What a cool life. What a cool life. What a dream. Especially a Jaws pinball machine. I don't even like pinball, but I want four of those. Seeing the amount of bollinkle stuff that he got in one go. Especially like a Jaws pinball machine. I don't even like pinball, but I want four of those Amount of bowling cool stuff that he got in one go. It's truly was I was like that's you see that's what nerds do That's what nerd that's what nerd lord is supposed to do

Yeah, yeah, you get obsessed about that one thing and you just decide I'm going to devote a room to this weird thing I just realized he's able to write off the Jaws pinball machine because he's writing moose jaws. Yeah, dude. So he just gets to write off a pinball machine. Yeah, he does. It's research. That's a character.

That is unbelievable. It is a legitimate research for him to sit there and be like, do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do But hey, and then everybody gets on my ass about having a whole closet dedicated to Selena Gomez. And everyone says, oh, why you, oh, you said all these disparaging words about her, but actually you might be secretly sort of obsessed with her.

And then I did sort of become like that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, the closet's better than it being in the living room. Hey, Natalie nixed that in the butt. It was just covered in my stuff. Is the lock still holding on the closet? I just keep pulling it, pulling it, pulling it, pulling it.

It's shut sealed with semen. I'm taking it. I have to hide it for myself. God, I want to be her. I want to be her. I want to be that little girl. Lord Henry, it's so nice to have you here. That's my Selena Gomez.

Hi hello Mrs. Gomez! Or is it Mr. Gomez? Henry, your attraction to me is scary. Yeah, I'm scary good! Well thank you so much for listening everybody. As always, if you're in the Atlanta area, we're going to be playing the Coca-Cola Roxy tomorrow night. So there may be tickets, there may not be, but check them out and see if you can come

on out. We got some new surprises for this live show. We do. We're very excited. Things had to change due to what God did. And then July 12th we will be in Salt Lake City Yeah, come check that show out as well. Yeah, I can't wait for Salt Lake Salt Lake is always such a good time It's such a good crowd. I always say it Salt Lake goes hard

They go hard every fucking time and I I can't fucking wait for it's gonna be such a good time. Oh, yeah I hope you come hard. Yeah, yeah, and then leave quietly Then leave quietly And if you want to see the actual video footage from this interview go patreon.com slash last podcast on the left and pay a minimal fee for both video episodes and To see last stream on the left every Tuesday at 6 p.m. 9pm EST, and you can chat with us as we do the show. Yes, and go to our YouTube page, LPNTV. It's at LPNTV. We got it.

We got that one. You go and you subscribe. You can see all of our new content, all of our comedy-based content, and go subscribe to all the other new Last Podcast Network associated YouTube channels. Someplace underneath, LPN Romanticie, The Foreign Report, No Dogs in Space. You go and check it out. I think we need more. Oh, and who's the bee?

Yeah, can we do, can we get like seven more? I'm doing my best! I'm doing my best!