Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 100: Bundy Part 2: Bones for Time

Episode Date: February 17, 2015

Our two part series on Ted Bundy concludes with the sheer brutality of his crimes in Tallahassee, his wonderful courtroom performance, and the myriad confessions that peppered his last days.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last time on the left That's when the cannibalism started You look good you look good right Marcus he looks great I told him as much in my head when he got here, but I didn't say it All right, we're good to go. All right, that's Marcus wait. Oh, yeah, we're good. That's Yeah, let me just get some of that coffee in there. Yeah good that's Marcus Parks. I'm Ben kissle and then Mm-hmm. Yeah, but he's drinking a coffee. My name is John beans crocamo coffee

Coffee reviewer, and I gotta say this coffee certainly doesn't taste like liquid diarrhea So it gets four stars for me to dunk anything. That's not you know I'm really into any coffee. That's not just straight-up liquid shit That a man has like shat into an old rusty bucket that another man has warmed over some sort of hot plate And then it's taking a ladle right old rusty ladle as well Pour it into some you know half-used styrofoam cup That's the kind of coffee that I don't really appreciate poopoo coffee all that coffee. That's just straight-up liquid diarrhea Yeah, just the dookie coffee

It's coming out the gate here. All right speed Well, that's good. We'll speak at a full speed Ted Bundy beans Johnny bean. Cocoa. Oh, yeah, Johnny bean. That's The worst intro we've ever had I believe it is. Yeah, I'm gonna put that number one Oh, that's number one or a number in my coffee number 101 actually wow I put it at the bottom out of 101 intros. That's 101. That's amazing. Yeah, we're really hitting rock bottom here Yeah, you know, right? I love the taste to the bottom of the barrel Yeah Yeah, lick the bowl

Alright Ted Bundy. He's out of Seattle. He's broken out of jail. He's free across the country. He's in his VW bug It's a holiday roll See you in the griswolds over in Chicago smoking doobies while he drives So yeah, and then again, he's it's down. He has an Italian beef sandwich. We've ever had one of those. Oh wonderful sandwiches Yeah, yummy yummy Italian beef sandwich if you hadn't had one if you hadn't had one get out there get on there It's just get on a train get on a boat get on a fucking plane to Chicago have yourself an Italian beef sandwich You don't even have to kill or rape or have second corpses to do it You can just go buy one you can just make you go make one for yourself in your home

I mean the same time, you know again, you don't have to kill them, right? Is that what this whole thing is just an elaborate scheme to get Italian beef sandwiches from Ted Bundy the teddy You just bought them. Oh, what I thought there's a whole thing going on With the ladies. I was given wrong information. I just say that I'm just trying to make ghost bullets for heaven I'm sure beef sandwiches would be one of his excuses because God knows Ted Bundy. He's got a dozen of them Yeah, this is the second half of Ted Bundy's road trip across America. He just got stuntsy and his alma mater beat The other team in Michigan was bowl Michigan Rose Bowl escape to shake he she escaped to Chicago after his escape in Colorado

And of course got to see the Rose Bowl game got to see his alma mater beat the University of Michigan It was the last time he got to really smile when it wasn't just him coming all over some dead girls It's nice makeup to face. That's why sports are so important for society. You know, it's a thing get into sports Put your kids in gymnastics. That's what I always say Don't let them just go out there fucking just rape it and kill an animal. It's just get them into get them into You know animation camp killing you kind of a sport. Yeah, you did animation camp. Yeah, not really active kids On January 8th one week after he escapes from Colorado he arrives in Sunny Tallahassee floor

I love the breeze in my hair. I can sans coming at you. Oh, there's a little birdie. It looks like it looks like a poo-poo on your head They say that that will bring me money Oh wait, no, I just want to play it out a little bit just cuz I'd need to relax It's 25 degrees outside right now I mean Jimmy Buffett's just constantly thrilled because he makes terrible music charges $50 a ticket and just gets She loaded loaded off of mine is is a genius. He is a genius. He's also a novelist Yeah, I think you wrote a book called Margaritaville. Yeah clever name goes with the song Come on check out my other songs called wishing on a coconut

My baby just accidentally turned into a pile of coconuts And me and my baby are going conkin conkin Maybe a conk is a type of shellfish that exists in the Florida area That's got a meaty bunch in the center of it. Well, that's you get it in fritter form So enjoy yourself Ted Bundy when you pull up with your with your beach chair And you got your pina colada because this is where it's a happy ending, right? He went in the and the healing rays of the Sun of Florida made sure he didn't kill anybody else And he just sat on the beach being like one of those like cabana boys, right like serving people Margaritas

I think that was his intention and then somebody stepped on his goddamn beach blanket Which is pretty sad yeah, and that was his original intent he was gonna go down to Florida He was gonna get legitimate employment and just got a cool out for a little bit He's gonna wipe it all clean He thought Florida was a place where no one was gonna know him or have even heard of him Yeah, it's not like Florida is the land of horrible mistakes. Oh, you know, but that's just what I mean I guess Florida does make a lot of sense where you'd go and just be like, oh, you know I could chill out in Florida. Nobody cares who you are in Florida. Well, he's literally he wants to retire

It's God's waiting room down there, but of course especially for four girls in that Kai Omega house So Bundy he decides he's gonna get on the straight and narrow he applies for one job We're just he applied to publics or something like that. Was it like a it was a construction site Yeah, he could even get a job at a construction site. Well, they asked him for identification, of course He couldn't produce Because I think he literally he changed his name to like Craig Roman Chris Hagan Chris Hagan And now you imagine it going up to someone is being like, you know, like hello, my name is Chris And this is the first time he's been calling himself Ted and all of his he's been he hasn't made up a name once

Yeah, you're thinking we make a name now. He did have one other alias that was not Ted. Rolf Miller. Yeah, I like Rolf Yeah, he looked like a Rolf. He did. I don't know what a Rolf looks like that. I never heard that name Imagine it is that there's the dog puppet from the Muppets That's a Rolf. I know. Yeah, that's a that's a disgusting. Hello. My name is Cookie Monster Johnson Sorry named after my favorite Muppet. I'll be going. Yeah, that's good. And by the way, you look a lot like Ted Bundy What? What did you say Ted Bundy? Yeah, I heard that guy Ted Bundy. I heard that guy had a real shining shining Potential going on in the Republican Republican Party I'll see you names Cookie Monster Johnson

Get out of here Cookie Monster So Bundy not able to get game for him. He's not be able to get game for employment He starts shoplifting and stealing. He's like any trust fund kid in New York City. He's just like shows up And he's like, I guess I'm not gonna work at Uniqlo. Hmm. Well, I guess I'll just spend daddy's money Hmm. I just don't have the abs for Abercrombie and Fitch So he starts stealing women's credit cards from women's wallets and he spends all of his free time Of course, he's got so much free time. So he spends all of his free time right in a book. No, just walking around the FSU campus Oh, yeah, you know popping in on lectures the big ones where no one notices

Oh, yeah, but you know, you got Rocks for jocks, which was the geology class at all the FSU football players took and then you got Man, I wonder who's on the land is green. It takes me back to my alma mater. Oh, yeah Just so everyone knows Henry did go to Florida State University. Yes, absolutely And again, I said at the last episode people get really upset when you talk about Ted Bundy in the Greek area Yes of the University. It's a lot of fun and we'll get to that. Yeah, right now for the man lasted one week in sunny, Tallahassee Understand, you know, I just got back into smoking cigarettes. I mean about nine months ago, right? And so I understand I quit that for two years. Yeah, you know and It was a I guess it was a fine two years definitely wasn't as cool as I am now you were doing well

You weren't coughing so much. So you little flimsy. No, no, no, no, no I feel very good and I feel that the candy sort of sell reproduction rate in my lungs is skyrocketing. Yeah That's perfect so Bundy on January 14th less than two weeks after he escaped from Colorado in one week And just let's not look at a pair of bloody panties for fucking ten days. I mean seven damn max Yeah, well, I mean if you think about it had been a long time since he had killed Because he had been in prison for a while before that. Yeah, but no going on the lamb thing

Yeah, but he was getting blowjobs and stuff like that. He was doing stuff I mean, what's a blowjob to Bundy? You can't go for you can't come with a blowjob if you're Ted Bundy He was having sex with corpses That's true Was on the corpses he didn't rape the women that often when they were still alive a lot of times He waited until they were dead and then he would fuck them and tell the corpse future fact it completely Well, yeah, but we also said a lot of that was because I mean that's a part of it that I agree with why I not agree with No, no, no

Agree that he believes that this is why he did it that he was killing them in order to eliminate the evidence to not have any witnesses That's how it started. Yes, like that's how the whole thing started, but eventually that's what you get into Yeah, that's just right, but eventually it became for him. It was all about what he talked about He said it was about the possession. God just so so silent Yeah, he would for the first part like he killed them to get rid of the evidence But then he said it was all about the possession That's also why he would steal things because he said it was all in the having and he said when you Killed someone you possessed their soul completely you possessed them and he said he was court is saying

Isn't that what Freddy Krueger does? He was quarter and yes, it is what he did Okay, he said you feel the last bit of breath leaving their body You're looking into their eyes a person in that situation is God Yes, and that's where his monologue was based off of from the Ted Bundy movie. Yeah, but it's like the court of death The court of dead I like that so Bundy enters fsu's Chi. Oh, is it Chi or Chi? Kai Kai Kai Kai Omega isn't like a you know a guy who works as a barista in a coffee store. Oh Kai Yeah, I love Kai is one of my favorite baristas around. Yeah, he skateboards to work. It's amazing Incredible you know always late. Oh, yeah, yeah, because it takes fucking an hour to skateboard. Are you fucking morons?

I put it down get a car get a bike. Okay It's a good idea. He knows there's some rollerblades man woke up man. You know, you won't go. No, I'm fine Not really okay character. Yes, you know the Kai Omega sorority house through a rear door with a faulty lock Now the old trick lock. That's a brilliant idea And I want the lock on I wonder how many houses he went to before he finally found Kai Omega Oh, because he was like real lock real lock lock. Yeah, well, yeah, exactly what happened probably was like Brenda Was this the went out and she was just like, I'm gonna go get some more Corona Everybody has everybody you guys you guys anybody want like a Malamar? Oh, I love Malamar

The lock was too hard to lock. So I didn't lock it Sorry y'all don't worry Brenda. We're the safest core. We're the safest one because we got karate chop Judy over here But a karate chop duty. Judy had died in her sleep. Isn't that sad about karate chop Judy? One woman that knows karate in the sorority and she fucking dies in her sleep. Nothing to do in here Is there nothing to do with Bundy? So first he goes to the room of Lisa Levy 20 years old an officer found her without a pulse They took her to the hospital. She died on the way her right nipple had been almost bitten off completely Her left collarbone was broken. She had been strangled and a clear off

Clare all hairspray bottle had been jammed in her into her vagina. Now. He really likes doing that Yeah, he loves jamming shit in a vaginas, right, right? So this is a that's a large can It's a big. It's a real big can. Yeah, and it was also a double bite mark on her left buttock Okay, that was the bite mark that they eventually used to convict him of his of this murder Oh marvel bird had nothing to do with that, huh? No, no no marvel bird. Oh, yeah, I don't remember that I still don't remember marvel bird. It's the most disgusting sex scandal of all time. Yeah But no, he uh, that's why they called him for a while. They were calling him the love bite killer Because that's where and then that's how they convicted him. I don't know if it's a love bite, but

And then he moved on to the room of kathy clenner 20 years old Uh, she well actually no Then he moved on to the room of margaret bowman 21 years old A nylon stocking had been pulled so tightly around her neck that it was almost broken She was beaten on the head so severely so severely that her skull was splintered and a portion of her brain was exposed Well, maybe you would have been good at that construction job You know that's a thing. It's got power. Yeah, put him up the drywall. Yeah Get him up there lifting girders and stuff like that. Yeah, he's pretty strong

Yeah, I blame the guy who didn't hire him for this construction firm. Well, yeah, it's all his fault Oh, but at the same time, I just can't imagine him also working to just go like yeah, bitch. Yeah Well, he's jack hammering a bunch of concrete. He's a killer coming on the uh, okay Well, he's got a strange way about him, but I'll tell you that guy can jack hammer like I've never seen You know, let's just take a coffee break. He's really doing well. I mean he put up that house in about four hours None of the locks work though It's kind of weird. It's almost like you have to Break in there at some point. You know, it's kind of strange

It says ladies only on it And then he moves to the room of Kathy clenner 20 years old They found her sitting up in bed holding her head in her hands as blood was gushing from her wounds She had lacerations and puncture wounds in her face. So she wasn't pretty anymore Well broken teeth job broken in three places whiplash injury to her neck She had to have a pin put in her jaw and all her teeth were permanently loosened. She survived That's a good party trick though. Because then you can do that be like It's like, you know, like when you hit the guy in the face with an anvil and a lunatune's cartoon and his teeth come out

Like piano shake around. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure you could just ask her about it. Yeah No, she's probably thrilled about the whole experience because she can do that one disgusting party trick that lost her husband That's perfect. Great for a date. And then Karen Chandler 21 They found her staggering in the hall blood streaming down her face She suffered a broken she suffered from broken teeth a broken jaw skull fractures cuts and one crushed fingers She also survived they found her at 3 a.m Because all of these attacks all four attacks happen within 15 minutes of each other 15 minutes He went on such a flurry. He went. It's so nuts and 30 witnesses were within earshot

And not a single one of them heard anything. It reminds me of the zebra killing so much Yeah, where it's like that just boom boom boom because now he's gone into this is the classic example That's why Ted Bundy has become like the Ultimate picture of a serial killer because he showed all of it It's the cleverness his like the idea of like he wants to put something over on people the idea of possessing things and people And then now this is him in full rage out mode beast mode Yeah, he's going in beast mode and he's going out there to cause as much mayhem as humanly possible because He's just permanently hard at this point because I bet like now what's happening is that he can't even nut anymore

Yeah, like now it's just him do like because I believe he only raped one of them Uh, he raped uh later Yeah, so it's like he just none of these four he didn't rape any of these So he just beat them up and jammed things inside of them, huh? Yeah, I mean you could argue the uh The the uh hairspray canister. That's kind of a kind of a rape type situation That definitely is a rape, but I'm saying is that they but it's it's probably the like there's something connected to it That's probably like he literally can't even ejaculate right now because he's so full. He's so full of it. You know I know it. That's what he is. That's full. He's full of bologna. I will say I'd say full of beans. That's right

That's just no that's a bunch of malarkey Ted You know that You can't possess their souls Ted, but you know how like when you order about 35 dollars worth of Chinese food and then you're If you're you know when you when you're by yourself eating Like you could it could be a dead girl. You know what I mean? Like it could be like you feasted on the butt of a dead girl It's going like Yeah, yeah, and it's like anybody walked in while you were eating that you'd be like

Get away. Get away. Yeah, I had a situation like that on sunday evening I got three sets of silverware. I pulled it off Wow I got the old three stars, buddy Yikes. Oh, that that that family must be so hungry. Yeah. Oh, they never eat. They must never eat Yeah, that's the thing but then daddy got a paycheck today So Well, his night wasn't even over yet

Because after kyle mega had to go to the after after party after after party He went to the basement apartment of charl thomas. She was found lying diagonally across her bed Barely conscious whimpering and writhing in pain. Her face was turning purple with bruises It was swollen and she had several serious head wounds She suffered the worst injuries of all the survivors that night Her skull was fractured in five places causing permanent hearing loss in her left ear Her left shoulder was dislocated Her jaw was broken and her eighth cranial nerve was so damaged that she would never have a normal equilibrium dizzy

All the time. She wasn't released from the hospital for a month and it ruined her career as a dancer Yeah, she was a dancer and it completely ruined her career. So she was never able to dance again She's gonna, you know work around it, you know, I'm just trying to In the only new little dance. Oh, she's I love that new wobbly ballet. Yeah, I love the wobbly ballet That's my favorite ballet and the only reason why he didn't kill her was because the girls next door heard the sounds They heard thumping sounds. They heard the whimpering and the crying Yeah, whoa, whoa, I'm the doctor. I'm the doctor. Okay. He was he was completely silent during all of these I feel like he's holding back

Yeah, he didn't say a single word because they only heard the screen the cries and whimpers of the girl and the thumbings They didn't hear anything from him and of course in kyle mega house. Nobody heard anything because all of these women Uh, the uh, two women who survived they don't remember the attacks at all because they were hammered That well, no, they were asleep. Like they were they were asleep. Like this was 3 a.m. The attack happened around 3 a.m And bundy he had what there was one witness that saw bundy coming out because there the girl came home And she heard a commotion upstairs and she heard someone running down the stairs She saw a guy running out of the house with a log wrapped in a cloth And the log was the bludgeoning instrument that he used so he brought his own instruments. Yeah, very log lady

Yeah, very log lady. I was gonna say that. Yeah, I am such a light sleeper I literally checked my house for insurers about three times a night. Yeah. Yeah. I mean i'm a bit paranoid Oh, doesn't sound like it at all. I invite them in Come into my house. I got a knife right by my bed You do I'd love to use it. That sounds like a suicidal thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um That's right. That's what it is. So he beat these women with a log And he just found it outside their house or something. Yeah, and apparently he picked it up You ever been hiking and you just find a real good walking stick that you're really happy with and you beat a woman of death with it

Yeah, no, no, no, you're just supposed to walk with it. Yeah, it's not the beat It's up in a hole that makes you feel good like a mountain man. Yeah, exactly Gandalf moment makes you feel like you know what you're doing Sure. Yeah. Yeah. That's all I do. Yeah, like that. You know when I'm out hiking about three four times a week I'm out there. I'm camping. I'm hiking hunting fishing all this stuff. I do out there. Right. The forest loves me Oh, yeah, you're an outdoorsman. Yeah, everybody says that about I was born with leaves in my hair And not because my mom was homeless No, she had a great job

So he waits almost a month this almost this gets him going for about three weeks And he's fine for three weeks as far as we know We don't then that's one of the things to remember about bundy's that anytime You say there's a down period or an off you don't know if it was or not You don't know if it was off because you could have been taking like a life like drawing class like a figure drawing class You could have been doing anything He could have been out like he could have been an actor in a movie and we don't even know Yeah, I mean we'd know that

Man, that would be great. That would be great. If he was like in movies and between all this, yeah He could get cast so he steals a van and he travels on this next tape Could you not grip Brenda's hair so hard because we're just it's just it's a romantic comedy. Yeah I don't know how else to do it. Yeah So he drives 100 miles west to lake city and he abducts kimberley leech 12 years old from a playground And this is how you can tell he's really lost his bearings. He's off the rails because he wouldn't I don't I honestly Well, because he did technically he did this once before but when he was first starting He he abducted that girl in colorado the younger girl

And so you could tell now it's just like whatever wherever we got to get this going because yeah Yeah, he's got a nut tonight. Yeah, rudderless and he did Uh, he did rape this one. Yeah, he raped her I you said it No, it was a strange laugh Henry Strange laugh. I don't know they searched her they searched for for eight weeks They found finally found her bare bones in a pig pen So he had a rape strangled her was at the kissle house the pig pen. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I call my bedroom

Oh, it's what we all call your bedroom. Thank you Well, that's good to know. All right Uh, and this is that was his as far as we know his last murder on february 12th He goes up and he decides it's time to get back to basics. He seals a vw bug He loves he loves the bug. That's his that's his thing. That's his cards the vw bug His favorite movie was herbie the love bug because that's what he called his vw fan Yeah So he decides he's high tailing it to alabama, but a cop finds him on the way

He checks the plates that of course the vw bug is stolen. This is so dramatic too. Oh, this is amazing And so bundy he tells he tells the cop that he's under arrest Bundy or uh, the cop tells bundy he's under arrest bundy kicked the cops legs out from under him took off running Lee fired a warning shot and then a second round gave chase and tackled him and also like bundy Uh, he feigned like he was shot. He's like, oh, I'm shot. I'm shot Always acting. He's good. He's a robber downy jr. A serial killers And so the guy takes him down the two struggled over lee's gun and finally the officer takes him down Uh, they find in the vet they find in the stolen vehicle three sets of

IDs from the fsu coeds Just get rid of this shit man. What is your fucking problem? Yeah, well, he's Ted Bundy. Yeah, that's sure You know and as the cop transported, uh, bundy to jail. He heard bundy say I wish you would kill me Ah, but now comes your grandest hour Ted Bundy Because you don't realize now you get the stage like he always wanted it is to put on a show Well, that's when the trial begins first the coy omega trial. This was one of the first nationally televised trials in american history The first nationally televised trial, which is amazing Just the idea of watching on television would have been incredible and he was you know, he was zipped zoppin man

He was saying some really great stuff. He was dropping some anthony hopkins fucking bobby's deniro bullshit up there Really just slinging it. Yeah. Yes, Andy and everybody. Yeah using the using the proper rules of improv Yes, and I didn't then I rate that right Yep, he uh Represented himself mostly or at least he handled most of his defense one of his lawyers wrote that Ted was facing murder charges With a possible death sentence and all that mattered to him apparently was that he be in charge And it's because he I mean he's just a total, you know, again, he's completes like a pass and he's just he's just bad But he had some law training, right? Did he go to law school? No, he went he had gone to law school briefly in, uh,

Utah, okay. Yeah, that was when he was baptized baptized into the church of latter day saints God this guy's lived 10 lives of so many so many he really has he might have sat in some law school classes as well over there at FSU Sneaking around. Well, yeah, I mean he probably audited something if I would if I would yeah I imagine that he would also be doing it like the fashion Institute in being with all the girls going like yeah, that's a pretty dress. Yeah. I like it when it's all tattered up Mm-hmm. Yes. It's not done yet. I'm still sewing it. Yeah. Oh, that's a shame because this way it just kind of just rips over Are you registered for this class? No, name's Ted. I'm sorry. No name's sled

sled I gotta go. I'm sorry. I gotta read but I gotta go apply for a job at a construction firm be a governor I'm gonna see. All right. And of course the testimony that puts him down is uh, Connie Hastings and Nita neary They were uh, Connie Hastings saw him in the vicinity of the fsu house all the evidence Yeah, and yeah, yeah, and Nita neary the law came in and testified I just wanted to be used in a fire And then you look over all the Christmas children And he went to you. Oh, man. I didn't want to kill him girl

And then he put himself inside of a genin and I was like, oh man, I just wanted to be a fucking, I wanted to be a U-Log I know you did. I know you wanted to be a U-Log What did it feel like to smash this woman's teeth out? You know what? It was a strange part of me that was incredibly satisfied. Oh, you enjoyed it. Let's get him off the stand Get him out of here. Abduction. Bundy's like keep him up there. The log did it That's what people don't understand about his old suit The log did it the whole damn time So the biggest physical evidence that uh, the biggest thing that sunk bundy

Was the bite impressions on the woman's butt. They did castings of his teeth And then daryl Hammond did the money on this and I love those bite impressions daryl Hammond That's great So what happened in coy omega house, Henry? So what do you mean what happened? Why did you get kicked out? Well, it's because I was there was a time period where I went to like three frat parties in my life And one time I went to a party and it was exactly that where it's like I was a young man who knew a little bit about serial killers and there was a thing called the bundy trail back behind the coy omega house

There was this dirt road That that was called the bundy trail that people would dare each other to walk down when you're super drunk You'd get super high walk the bundy trail and be like, I'm gonna rape. I'm gonna rape, you know, and no one ever dead No, no, you know, it's been used. It was already all done. Of course. It's all done It's all done But I just went you know, of course where it was just like and so there was a party at the coy omega house And I went in there and it was just the standard Just got your log as well

So I had little google eyes on it me like you remember you remember Yeah, but no, I was sitting there and it was just the standard just but you know all I had to do like was like So this is the Ted Bundy house, right and everyone's like, okay, so you're gonna go All right, you know, I just wanted to chat, you know Yes, so yeah, they just asked me to leave smell the blood Yeah, I was a solid 285 then. Oh, that's where my rasta hat I had a knit cap that I wore in a dashiki. I think they were just looking for any reason to kick you out Yeah, yeah, I was kind of cramp in everybody's style. Yeah reeked a weed

You know, but I was going through a sort of a pan ethnic um phase at the time God It's a sad phase that every college student has to go through. Yeah, everybody's gotta go through it Yeah, everyone tries to be black for about six months. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah So of course Bundy was convicted of the three murder of two murders First at coy omega and then convicted again for the little girl Uh, but during the penalty phase of the here of the trial, this is kind of bizarre

He brings a woman named carol and boon. Oh, you know, he's just doing crazy. No, he's just doing crazy shit He brings this woman carol and boon to this, uh, to the stage to uh, really it's more of a stage than a stage Yeah, he brings her up to be a character witness for him So he could maybe avoid the death penalty and by Ted penalty. I like it. Yeah the Ted penalty By some obscure Florida law if you ask someone to marry you while they are testifying under oath and they say yes You are then legally married. Yep. He's brilliant. He brought her in there Like at the end of the her like testimony like defending his character He's like and will you marry me and she says like, oh my god. Yes. I've been waiting this whole time. Yes

And then they got legally married right there in the court. That's how I'm gonna get married I'm gonna stage a series. Yeah, I'm gonna stage a series of different murders, but it'll be it'll be like the end of the game Uh, you know the uh, oh, yeah, we're all turns right your mom and dad are there It'll all be rude and stuff. Yeah. Oh, I've got a woman in mind She's gonna be careful. So you're not a murderer. No. No, actually. I love you. I gotta go Oh, you didn't like this whole thing I liked when you were a bad boy murderer not when you're a big stupid redhead stand up. I gotta go No, well, that's why I ordered three

Dishes of Chinese food on sunday a very similar real date All right So, uh, actually and bundy has a daughter out there He uh impregnated this woman in 1981. I bet she's super hot. She probably is No one knows what her name is where they think she lives in seabed. Her name is glad gundy Not very good at making up names. Are you glad? Yes, it's in my family history. We've never been able to isn't that funny And so bundy in 1980 was sentenced to death by electrocution for a third time

This is the one that stuck and this is where the famous photo of him screaming in court Uh comes from what did he say again? Tell the jury they were wrong You know and that picture is my desktop background right now. Yeah, that's a computer I love that because if you look it looks like he's holding his hand over his head while he's screaming That is just the face that you uh would see if you were one of his victims It's a face that he was so Properly constructed everywhere. He went that this was like the one time when he lets go and you just see the face I'm sure that's when everyone's like, yep

Nailed it. Yeah nailed it and he did not put away his uh his jailbreak ways in 1984 Guards found two hacksaw blades hidden in a cell of course a steel bar in one of its windows Have been sawed completely through at the top and bottom and glued back in place with a homemade soap based adhesive And I have heard a theory that bundy did actually escape from prison And killed and then returned just to prove that he could do it You know like on modern-day robin hood And then we also read that new we also read sort of and then we also read that other uh that other uh Possibility is that the republican gun party uh looked at the you know, basically

They were looking at the long game back in the 1970s and they thought that this ted bundy Could really be a great, you know, he could be an amazing president I agree. Yeah, he had a sort of dead ringer quality for a young george w bush And then george w bush was murdered and that ted bundy Was like they were switched. Yeah ted bundy george w bush was put up for the crimes of ted bundy It was all framed and the ted bundy was really george w bush who was a two-term president here in america That's right. I can explain some of these policies Well, I never heard that theory before but i'll tell you it's not right. It is not right. No, that's great

I don't even want to hear about the theory about how bundy He correlates his life correlates to the rise of israel. Yeah, that's like we can't we'll get kicked out to the air That's I mean, we'll never work again. This is always the part of the show Where I slowly back out of the room and I come back in 45 seconds I just love getting those emails to 1245 where mark is like actually five like because you know, normally we do serial killer stuff There's very little like full Conspiracy, yeah, but he sent me that one. They're like ted bundy equals rise of israel and I was like I can see it. Oh, I didn't even get into the illuminati stuff. Oh, but there's a bundy family that is

There's involved in the illuminati that is not related to ted bundy. Yeah, they're there's a bundy of the doughnut community They make fabulous doughnuts right right bundy filled with girls fucking blood there was also The the married with children theory that that's why they named them the bundies because they're supposed to be the worst white family in america And most of the writers on married with children were african-american folks Uh, and that was the whole there was a big joke. Oh, that's really interesting. Yeah, that's amazing Well, so let's get into some we want to hear some of what ted bundy has to say so now during this time period ted bundy He becomes a serial killer college class on his own because he spits out some theories that are

Both either retarded and then also dead on where it's he dissects himself Because the thing is is that there is no ted bundy ted bundy is a figment of his own imagination He is a hollow person that has he can fill himself With whatever identity he wants and it just so happens to be that you know The thing that gets him the most excited is rape and murder and stealing and and all of them escaping from prison He loves to escape from prison. Yeah, but you know, there's not much else going on behind the eyes. Yeah Well, it would have been years when the fbi's behavioral sciences unit They had been trying for years to get an interview with ted bundy to really figure out how this guy ticked

What was going on with his fucking insane serial killer brain? And they kept sending in their senior officers after him and he wouldn't talk to any of them And finally there was a young guy who was in his first year at the unit and he just said he was like Can I take a crack at him and you know and they thought like sure Like they thought sending someone who was young naive kind of pliable It would play on bundy's ego a little bit worked it completely work because exactly what it was It was this he came in he played the sort of angle of like Gosh, I need to know more about this so I can be better at my job

You know, yeah, and he he spilled his guts and that's what the there's a movie another bundy movie Where carrie l was placed head bundy and it's all about this that's about the confess Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah because he did not give the confessions until the day before his execution Yeah, the full confession the full confession Because then he gave another false confession, which is what he blamed everything on porno And then those full confessions didn't come out until 2005. Yeah, and we've got them. Yep. Yeah, and it's shitty audio quality That's the one thing. It's really bad audio quality. It's better on headphones But it's it's I guess because I guess it's been copied like 90 times

It's been copied and you know, of course, you know the recording this stuff in you know, 19 Well a lot these come like through I think like three or four years of interviews with bundy Like these clips because there are hours and hours and hours of uh tape footage and all this stuff was uh Smuggled out by someone in the fbi. It was leaked by someone in the fbi, but it's only small snippets like there's very little Uh narrative to the whole thing. I have the full confessions and I'll put them up on the uh facebook page Bucket name. All right. Well, we're gonna listen. I said I listened to him once a week No, no, no, you would never do that. No, I don't listen to the jonestown death tape all the time No, no, and I like if you literally just toss it on and you sit and you know

Well, nicky's like cooking in the other room and you're just you know, she's like, what are you listening to and you're like, shut up? Shut up It's not my happy place at all. Okay Hey, let's listen ted bundy in his own words Well Okay, so I just wrote I just said that the hawkins girls had was severed and taken up the road about 25 to 50 yards And buried in a location about 10 yards west of the road on a rocky hillside

Did you hear that? See he had a really hard time when getting into the grizzly stuff like once he started talking about the grizzly stuff He's because that was I was saying there was a plea bargain that was put up when before the uh the third conviction There's a plea bargain that came out that said if he admitted to the the three of the murders at the kai omega house He would get a solid 75 years and no death penalty and he was working on it And he said yes for a while and then basically He just couldn't handle the fact that he would have to tell people that he was guilty Because then that would fully shatter the illusion that he was because that's what pathological liars do

It's the idea is like you live the lie you live the lie And you so there's no crack in the lie like you can because then no matter what you can keep going down being like no No, no, it's real. It's real. It's real. It's real, but But finally with this that's why you'll notice with all of these tapes Every time he says something he's a he's very trepidatious about saying anything About like the bodies like what he did because that was where the real shame was yeah, but it was also where the Sweet nut went. Yep, you know, that's his that's his alone time. It's tough to share that with people All right, let's hear another one. Let's see. We're to the to the car

Oh And basically we reached the car what happened was I Had knocked her knocked her unconscious with the crowbar By the car outside and back of the car. Did you see it? No And then there was some there was some handcuffs there along with the crowbar The crowbar And a handcuffed her and put her in the drivers. I mean the passenger side of the car and She was very much alive

I mean, I wouldn't say very much alive. I mean, she's like a pretty she she's more like she's pre-dead Yeah, yeah, sort of soon to be dead. Oh, that's how I met your monster. This guy was like honestly like in terms of all of them As much as like, you know, I always give my praises to all of them. You know, I always give my praises to all of them In terms of all of them as much as like, you know, I always give my to me the ultimate monster will always be Jeff Dahmer Just because he's you know, he's just got the look. He's got the look But like Ted Bundy was just the perfect wolf in sheep's clothing Like and that was a thing too is he could get any woman he wanted people described him as beautiful

There's the fact that like now it's become a cliche how handsome he was But that's what everyone says. It was just he was a beautiful looking man He had a rugged like just a thing about him. He was just like magnetic and then he's He uses it in the most grizzly because all of these women were brutally murdered. Yeah. Oh, yeah Because there were bludgeon to death. There's like nothing there's not like being beaten to death is probably the worst way to go Yeah, except for maybe being burned alive or buried alive. Yeah, because it's long buried alive is the worst You know buried alive is the worst. Yeah Well, we figure that out

That's good. All right. We have more confession. Yeah, we've we've got more and uh these last three All these he's been talking about uh, georgianne hawkins Who uh, this was a girl that he kidnapped from a well-lit alley during finals week. Yes So, uh, and so here's uh another Part of that confession. It's all sexy circumstances too. It's just like finals week. It's 1970s. Nobody's wearing a bra No, definitely not This is probably the hardest part. I don't know. I know we're talking sort of that's not abstractly before but uh, Well, we're getting into some we're getting right down to it and uh,

We'll talk about it. It's just I hope you understand. It's not something that I tried easy to talk about Yeah, it's all this time one of the things that makes it one of the things that makes it difficult is that uh, At this point she was quite moose at talking about things about some It's funny. It's it's kind of funny, but it's odd. It's funny. That's not funny People say it But it was circumstances. It is hilarious

And she thought she said that she thought that she had a Spanish test on this day and she thought that I'd taken her to talk to me for a Spanish test Oh, tutoring for a Spanish test. Yes, I'll teach you the word muerto There we go Spanish And we got one more that is actually I think this is kind of funny Uh, but I mean he's got he's got a sense of humor where he's talking this is him talking about uh,

His process during the during his control days of uh, the trickery of the cast and yeah all that Oh, sure. Yeah, I threw away the roof case and the crutches and all that stuff Yeah, and the crowbar everything the ankles everything I gotta get mad at myself A few weeks later because I'd have to go out and buy another pair. I mean it's not comical, but that's what we had It's like it's not comical, but it's It's kind of funny, you know Oh, I don't I don't expect you to get it, but

I got a weird sense of humor though. I mean joke with myself, you know, it's gotta be I mean How many crutches did he buy? You know, I said it's on just a lot of crutches. That's gonna be a red flag That needs to uh, oh, yeah, just dumpsters full of crutches and more than fake casts and shit So mr. Bundy, you never really seem to be hurt. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like how they feel my armpits Does that make you feel better you like that explanation? Well, whatever. We gotta we gotta ship them. We gotta sell them. So So we sold to you some another thing uh, another thing that he said during the consent confessions He said uh guilt doesn't solve anything. It hurts you

I guess I'm in the enviable position of not having to deal with guilt. He's a lucky man. Yeah, it is true I mean, that's okay. He was just built to it's like an ultimate predator. He's a shark Yeah, and he said and of course, you know going back to the possession of people He said at first it was the possession of objects and it was the possession of Um, I guess the possession of a person's sexuality and then finding the possession of the remains Yeah, the possession of Hummel figures We had over 95 Hummel figures came all over him He decapitated 12 of his victims with a hacksaw and kept at least one group of severed heads

Probably the four found on Taylor mountain in his apartment for a period of time before disposing him Yeah, and he then he called the Beatles, you know, and he's like, oh Ringo wants soup Ringo wants soup Oh, Rimo's getting that fucking soup tonight. Not soup Soup de jure What is that soup of the day? Oh, I see Another investigator said that he and I think then this right here this, uh I've been reading up a lot on the heavy hitters lately

And I think this right here really does distinguish Bundy from Gacy Is that he said that uh when he described the it's a it's a quad crime scene It was almost like he was just there like he was seeing everything He was infatuated with the idea because he spent so much time there He was just totally consumed with murder all the time But when Gacy would talk about his murders, he would just like no no no he puts it away He puts it away where John Wayne Gacy like that's where the It's it's the different things where it's like John Wayne Gacy really felt that his front personality was who he was

I mean like whether or not that's a lie or not because it could actually be the truth that the front John Wayne Gacy could have been the real Gacy and that the murderer Gacy was the shadow Gacy I think that's the truth But Ted Bundy the real Bundy was the there was the only person who had any aim in life was the shadow Bundy Was the real Bundy. Yeah, the real Bundy was the murderer Bundy. I mean, that's the only Bundy What other thing did he have in society? Gacy was a you know, he was he had a job just wasn't good. It's true It's like validated by society. Yeah, you know Gacy ran a company. He was a Democrat He was a chair in the Democratic Party. Yeah

Ted Bundy was fancy himself a politician, but he could never do it No, and like who like any lady listener of last podcast It's like how many times have you had a boyfriend or even like anybody's had a boyfriend that like, you know He was always like, yeah, I'm gonna you know, I'm gonna be in a band But he's just sat around just like it's like, no, you're not you're doing heroin though. I see you're on a heroin now That's good. So bunny and his confessions, of course He withheld many details In the lead-up to his execution because he was trying to get a stay of execution. They started calling it

Ted's bones for time scheme. Yeah, it's so interesting because that was talking about that Because that's when he got involved with helping him find the green river killer Again, he knew nothing But he was just because he would show up with like reports like he'd go and like write reports and come back and be like Here's my information like a look. I wrote all about the psyche and it's all like Garbage. Yeah, it's all garbage. And yeah, by the way, they didn't catch Gary Ridgway for another 17 years Yeah, he's just kind of a myth that Bundy helped out. No, he's like a government consultant. Yeah. Yeah, he did absolutely nothing uh, but of course the um

Him trying to postpone his execution by withholding details It pissed people off and it kind of made them to make the they fast-track Bundy's case Oh, yeah, they fast-tracked his appeals to get him to the electric chair as soon as they possibly could Again, because once a liar is out in the air once a liar is like out on the spotlight It's all gonna the threads are gonna come away from the fucking store. Yeah, and of course he had tons of scapegoats He blamed his abusive grandfather the absence of his biological father the concealment of his true parentage alcohol the media the police he accused them of planting evidence Society in general uh violence on television. He accused television programming of brainwashing him into stealing credit cards

Because that's what I also felt like uh, what was the case that used the twinkie defense or something like he used sugar as well There was a big sugar push that he did with a consumption of mass consumption of sugar um deformed his mentality and then he also and then pornography which is just he is just He's a little ridiculous. He's a little ridiculous 80s porno. That's nothing compared to what we have these days either, you know No, it's pretty yeah a soft-core smut. Yeah, exactly. It's just like if porno made you a serial killer We would be like polepots. Oh my god. Yeah, we would be sitting on mass graves It would be a real nightmare. Oh So pornography became his last and biggest scapegoat

So the day before his execution he brought in mr. James Dobson Uh focus on the family focus on the family is a total psychopath. Yeah, and this is what uh, I went to I went to his website and I this is what he said about Ted Bundy Ted Bundy had something important to say and he believed the media couldn't be trusted to report it accurately Therefore I was invited to bring a camera crew to record his last comments from death What was it that Ted Bundy was so anxious to say? He felt he owed it to society to warn of the dangers of hardcore pornography Thank you Ted and to explain how it had led him to murder so many innocent women and girls

I love tears in his eyes He described the monster that took possession of him when he had been drinking His crazed to kill was always inflamed by violent Pornography. No, this is my question. It's like you really think you trust a serial killer. James Dobson's a psychopath I remember hearing about this when I was growing up. They would always say that stuff or no leads to murder And I'll be like, what the fuck are you talking about? This is the fact that he would go to get a quote from the most infamous serial killer in like American history And you see you know, James Dobson's the only one Ted Bundy could trust

Great. I mean James Dobson is Bundy's last psychological victim though. Dobson's like wow, that's true. Okay. I never knew Brilliant. So here we've got a few clips from Ted Bundy's interview with James Dobson. Here's him blaming pornography Yeah, a young boy and I mean the boy of 12 13 certainly so gross that I encountered outside the home again in um The local grocery store the local

Drugstore the soft core pornography what people call soft core But as I think I explained to you last night Dr. Dobson an anecdote as young boys do we explored the The back roads and sideways and byways of our so foolish and oftentimes people would dump The garbage and whatever they're cleaning out our house and from time to time we'd come across so pornographic books of a harder nature than more Graphic you might say more explicit nature than we would encounter. Let's say in your local grocery store

And this also included such things as let's say detective magazines and well detective magazines That was also something that uh, they used in edgine's defense because yeah game was uh, He was obsessed with detective magazines and nazis and all that sorts of shit. Yeah, but I mean, but so am I For the most part so am I I've got I mean, I'm in uh pretty much my office right now And I can see four true crime books from where I'm sitting. Oh, yeah, just take a look at my living room I was looking at what people talking about like someone brought up on the facebook page of just like, you know Being that guy you talks about weird shit when you everybody talks about stuff. It's like can you imagine being in our lives? What we're like in real life. Oh god, it's hard to talk about anything else

Let's say everybody's got that interesting thing like during a lull in conversation They've got that they've got that thing. It's like, oh, did you know to oh Do you know that we had a you know an astronaut exchange program with the alien civilization living on the planet serpo? And they're all like, thank you, Henry. If you could please get out of the audition room. Yeah, you gotta go You gotta get out of here immediately. Oh my god. All right. Let's let's hear a little bit more uh from ted bundy This is uh him Talking about this is where some of his like famous quotes come from come from one of his most famous quotes come from Basically, I was a normal

person I wasn't some guy hanging out at bars or a bum or I wasn't a pervert in the sense that you know people look at somebody and say I know there's something wrong with him and just tell I mean, I I was essentially a normal person. I had good friends. I I uh, I lived a normal life except for this one Small but very potent and very destructive segment of it that I kept very secret and very close to myself

I didn't let anybody know about it And part of the shock and horror from my dear friends and family Years ago when I was first arrested was that they just there was no clue They looked at me and they looked at the you know, the um, the all-american boy and I'm I mean, I wasn't perfect, but it was I want to be quite candid with you. I was I was okay Okay, I was And the basic you okay, it was unemployed

See, but this is also like that's where the lie comes into where you feign having like, you know A humility and all what a fucking bag of shit He never said a single true word in his life. No, he was born that way like I don't believe that the the grandmother being the mother and all of that I don't believe in any of that forming your fucking personality You were just born hollow and you just got the right set of circumstances where it's like I mean, he could have been a ceo of a company. You know, I mean like that happens Maybe most sociopaths become CEOs of companies. Yeah, and you just figure out how to temper that you either figure it out

You either find the thing that because all he would because possessions is what he was talking about If he had gotten a job where he was making millions of dollars and could have bought everything he wanted He would have just been I mean, I know it's like this is not excusable But he probably would just been doing rough sex with prostitutes While he had a family on the side like any fucking republican senator now. Yeah You know like just fucking boys in a fucking truck stop bathroom And then going home to your family and going against homosexuality on the fucking news Well, here's what he said what he would be without pornography because according to ted bundy without pornography

That's who he would that's what he would have been. Here's it. Let's let's hear what he has to say about that. What would your life have been like without that influence I You can only speculate yeah, yeah, of course he can he starts crying far better not just for me and and it's Excuse me for being so self-centered here. It would have been a lot better for me and lots of other people I know that lots of other innocent people. I just want to see a bullshit meter next to head. I'm like

It would have been a lot better. There's no question, but it would have been a A a fuller life. It's certainly a life that would not have involved I'm absolutely certain would not have evolved involved This kind of violence that I have. Oh, fuck you that I have committed. Yeah, maybe. Yeah We all would have been scientists without pornography when it comes down to some of us got better shit to do Because everyone's got other shit to do, you know Jesus Christ and here we have bundy's final warning

And what scares and appalls me dr. Dobson is what I see what's on cable TV Some in the movies I mean some of the violence in the movies that come into homes today Was stuff that they that they wouldn't show in x-rated adult theaters 30 years ago this stuff The slides are movies that you're talking about that stuff is I'm telling you from personal experience The most that is graphic you know violence I love getting moral criticism from Ted Bundy

As it gets into the home to children who may be unattended or or unaware That they may be a Ted Bundy who has that that vulnerability To that that predisposition to be influenced by that kind of behavior by that kind of a Movie that kind of violence their kids sitting out there Switching the TV dial around and come upon these movies late at night or I don't know when they're on but they're on And any kid can watch them. It's scary when I think what would have happened to me if I had seen I'm scary enough I mean that I just ran into stuff outside. You are the monster these movies are based on yeah, you did it You did the crimes

Yeah, we so full of shit. It's so fun though because it's like it's real fun. I love it when you find somebody like that It's just how serial killers just sort of are also like archetypes of people, you know Where it's like, you know, Dennis Raiders the nerd fucking dickhead boss that you have and your fucking office job And then Jeffrey Dahmer's just that Jeffrey Dahmer reminds me of the kid a kid and I new name Thomas in elementary school He used to wear his Boy Scout uniform every single day and eat his own boogers with two fingers, you know Never were just like he just never had a place in life and um He committed suicide didn't really age of 15. It's pretty rough

But yeah lived like he just never fit into society lived a long good life He lived a long he lived what he had to live double digits, you know And then John Wayne Gacy is like, you know that funny big dude who's really charming and you never know Would have like a whole secret life. That's yeah, yeah, you're not never really like he's those guys I know we've all been we've all hung out with the Gacy before where he seems like a real Yeah, you're in the back, you know buying cigars and whiskey for everybody and he's like, yeah You should come by my apartment. I do all these rope tracks Then you'd eat his office lunchable and you find a whole another side to him

Nope, he's the guy when you eventually go and hang out with him. Just mono you mono those long silences where he's got the beer between his knees and just being like I just got a Lot of grits You know, you know, you're like, well, you know, it's about time for me to be going, you know But you know what I think we're gonna get we have to save Gacy because I think he's gonna be our next heavy hitter No, absolutely Gacy's gonna be a heavy hitter but bundy

To wrap it up. He died in the electric chair at 7 16 a.m. On january 24th 1989 Five days after my fifth birthday Wow And estimated planned it that way Yeah, yeah, you guys watch it for your birthday Did you guys all like that they prop you up on daddy's knee and you watched on tv? Nope, as I said, what are you doing in the shaky chair? He's dying son. No, as I've said before, you know, I just cut his execution photo out of the weekly world news and put it on my wall

But 2000 celebrate saying dance and set off fireworks in a pasture across the street from the prison as the execution was carried out 2000 people 2000. Have you seen the footage from it? It's pretty crazy. It's really crazy. It looks like a skinnered concert It really does. Yeah. I mean, it's florida. Yeah. Yeah, I wish I could have gotten to do a tight 10 That crowd sounds like a good crowd. They would have loved some of my bits And it happened at 7 15 in the morning. So those people have been drinking all night all night long This is in florida. Yeah, leave it to florida. They're the most white trash tailgate out front of the fucking NASCAR event They set off fireworks the Seminoles aren't playing fireworks ready that they had saved from new years

That's so funny. You know, buddy's execution is coming up in about a month You know what I got to do make some beer chicken. I love the beer chicken And his remains were cremated in Gainesville and the ashes were scattered at an undisclosed location And that's just a florida story. Yeah, that's something and an undisclosed location in the cascade range of washington state Uh, which is oh, we're all his heads are that's so nice Not exactly. I like it and it's been so long It could be on taylor mountain who knows but i'm sure carol an boon his wife and mother of his daughter Probably took the ashes out and scattered him according probably put a whole clump of them up inside of over. Yeah

I'm sure just just to feel him one more time And there are you know, so many other murders that could be attributed to this guy, you know Countless because he traveled the he traveled from state to state god knows whatever he picked up like hitchhikers Oh, yeah, it's like henry lee lucas who is another big hitter that we will also cover of course All right. Well, that's theodore bundy. Yeah, we put a bow on that. Yeah bow it up bundy Um, all right. Can we go out? Can we listen to one more dulcet tunes of margarita bill right before? I like that just because I need some warmth. Yeah, it is 20. It's just rough out there, man It's getting a little nippy out. So it's real rough. How's it a minneapolis everybody? How are you guys feeling? They're cold

Yeah Put my straw hat on Feet in the sand. Oh, is this a litter box? Hey This is nice having a This reminds me of my childhood when we go to the lake and go fishing and my dad would catch bass And you cut them open and then you take the eggs out and then just immediately put them in his mouth That's disgusting all while listening. Oh, right

Oh, I listen into uh Margarita bill. That's very nice. All right. What is it magustillation? Hail satan. Hi again. Hail yourselves everybody. Take a trip to florida. Enjoy yourself. Yeah Follow the laws of god man. Follow the laws. No. No. No. I think. Must be. But the spot.