Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 108: Urban Legends

Episode Date: February 17, 2015

We delve into some of our favorite urban legends, including the Bunnyman, the phenomenon of Crybaby Bridges, and the great Devil Worshiper myth of the nineties.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last talk. On the left. That's when the cannibalism started. What was that? That's not going to be tough to do a 13 minute podcast. In and out we have an hour to do it though. So we'll squeeze it in. Your mama's got an hour to do it on my bowls. Whoa buddy, take it easy. I'm your daddy now. Are you? Well then buy me a car.

Listen Ben, things have been really tight here out of the house. Yeah, are they tight? We can't afford to with mom getting caught in the windmill and Davey getting caught in the windmill. There's so much stuff that I gotta spend money on. Can't get you a car this winter season. Well you're definitely wasting all my money on windmills apparently. Absolutely. I don't need to go to college dad. The entire squash crop died.

The squash crop? The squash crop? That's a lot more difficult to say. Well it looks like you have some squash on your chin there. Papa, you got drunk and went squashing again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look what you eat them like pussies. Ooh, did we share the same brain? Alright, that's Marcus Parks. I'm Ben Kissel.

We got my father with me today. This is really nice. I haven't talked to my dad in so long. Ben, you're a lot taller than I thought you were going to be. So big, so tall. How's the weather up there? It's about the same as it is down there. That's nice though. Thank you. I always love that one. Hey Ben, am I in hell right now?

No, no you're not. Did I die and go to hell? Is that why I'm in this stinky room in the middle of the worst part of Queens? No. It smells like bleach and ass in here. Is this hell? No, no, there's no poison left. Your mother's ugly. I'm sick of it.

Oh right, well she was a sweet woman. I'm sick of her pussy and I'm sick of her ass. Well from what I've heard you didn't really touch her pussy that much at all. So that's fine. That's been a different lives. That's the power of being an actor. I put on a fireman's hat. I'm a fireman. I put on a fireman's jacket.

I'm a fireman. Oh wow, that's amazing. I can just play fireman. Well much like a husband eating his wife's vagina is an urban legend. That is today's big subject.

So for those that guessed it right on the Facebook page, you're today's big winner. It's an urban legend. Yeah, not Ben's bathroom mirror, which I thought was funny. That was a funny joke. And then I got a lot of likes when I made a comment. I think we're going back and forth. I don't know who won on the likes.

It's not a competition. It's not. It felt like one. I felt like I was winning for a while. You know who won? Ben won. What? Ben won. There we go. Thank you, Marcus. Ben won 10 to 9. No way.

I think it's people don't even want to vote for me. But it was just such a better statement. I voted for you. I liked yours as well. Anyway, Henry mentioned mirrors. And of course, one urban legend that involves mirrors. A very famous urban legend.

It involves a lady named Mary. Well, I will say this. Honestly, that was a big part of my childhood was how terrified I was of Bloody Mary. I remember going through Catholic school and I don't know if anyone else felt that. I've heard about this for the first time. I remember thinking I'd go in the bathroom

and think that I would compulsively just do it. Like jumping off a cliff or when you stand at the edge of a tall building. I thought I would just end up doing it. Just jumping. Just jumping. You don't do that when you go to the top of a building? That's why I'm terrified of heights. It's not the height itself.

It's the idea that I have no control over my life. For some reason, I just feel like I'll fling myself off the side of the building. It sounds like a super fun thing to do until you hit the ground. Yeah, three microseconds. Yeah, you're like, this is really free and liberated. I believe I can fly. I think I'm going to go get that job. I'm going to go tell my boss that I want the raise.

But Bloody Mary is very terrifying to me. And so, I think this Urban Legends, especially because the internet, the internet helps spread Urban Legends like fucking wildfire. It's the internet and Catholic school. Those are the two largest spreaders of Urban Legends. And that's what's interesting about Bloody Mary's

that Bloody Mary's origins are firmly rooted in the Catholic religion. When I was in middle school, we used to go to the bathroom and do this on a regular basis. And people always used to see the mirror bleeding and things. I always remember the first time. I'd heard a story of a kid named John McLaughlin that they said

it was like some rumored kid who was three years older than us who saw Bloody Mary and ran out into the street, got hit by a car. It was like this whole long story that happened for years and years. Really brutal, visceral story. So, let's jump into it. We have a bunch of Urban Legends to swim through

like a bunch of fucking Crisco in Wisconsin. Ooh, yes. Bloody Mary has a couple of different variations on it. What if you just say Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary. That's right. Now, this is the traditional. Yeah, that's the traditional one. There's another one where you say Mary Worth three times.

Mary Worth, yeah. That's what you get at Butterfingers. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. It just shows up with like butterscotch candies. Like, thank you, Mary Worth. Well, it's not scary, but that's kind of cool though. Yeah, that's fine. Is Henry in there playing Mary Worth again?

Oh, you know I'm normal. It's a horror party, Henry. I don't know. I see Mary Worth nine times in the mirror. She comes out with a pint of maple syrup and pours it down my throat. That's something. But one of the most interesting ones is

Bloody Mary I've Got Your Baby, which is one that I never knew about. Oh, I remember Bloody Mary I've Got Your Baby. Yeah, and that one has its roots in Queen Mary I who had a long series of miscarriages and stillborn babies.

And that's where the blood comes in. That's where the blood comes in. And she was also known to be a big and like she just hated Protestants. Her nickname was Bloody Mary because of how many Protestants she had signed the murder to.

I see. And because of the miscarriages she had a successor, the Catholic line of succession ended with her as did the prosecution of the Protestants. Well, you know, that's got to be a tough thing for a lady to deal with.

I mean, it's the only thing that a woman could really do back in the day was give birth to kids. I mean, there's a big claim to fame. It was a major process. 33% of births ended in death of the mother and the baby or either one. So it's like it was also a dangerous procedure.

But it seems too strong. Makes the baby too big. Yeah, exactly. Another famous one that we have is known as the Beehive. And this one has been around forever. And just like a lot of these urban legends,

a lot of people think they only came about the 50s, 60s, 70s. Of course, this one was big in the 50s when women had the tall Beehive hair. But I imagine it's also like, certain if you go back in ancient times, there are stories about reflections

that have been going on forever. Even the idea of in the Greek myth where what's his name looked into the river and got caught in the river. Yeah, and that's been forever. Lex Luger, the pro wrestler. He was in the Greek myth. What was his theme song?

It was like, a real American. I don't mean to mix up my Americans. And not a narcissist. No, he loves himself, but not that much. He had a whole mania named after himself. That's true.

And the version of the story that we know best of the Beehive is the woman that had the long Beehive. This is my favorite version. There's a ton of different versions. My favorite one is this woman had this long Beehive and one day she walks into a spider web. The spider lays eggs in her hair.

One day she's in the middle of class. Blood starts trickling down her forehead. They take her to the hospital and they found that the spiders have burrowed into her head and they hatched and started eating into her head. Another one says that in order for her

to not wash it every night, she covered her hair in sugar water to harden it. And the next morning when her mother came to awaken her, her rats had nod through her skull. And this one does have roots in medieval times.

This is what it would actually look like if you're friends with the rats and the squirrels and the birds. Every Walt Disney character ever. Basically you're just surrounded by wolves and rats and bears and they're just about to eat you.

But they happen to eat just enough squirrels that day to not fuck with you. I have this version of the story. That's your perfect woman right there. Wrapping her hair in sugar water. I love a good long hair on a woman. Or short hair on a woman.

When I say put that sugar hair all over your butt. Put that sugar water all over your belly button. Let me take a shot out of your belly button that sugar ward. I think you'll have a nice long relationship with her as long as sugar is always around. Oh man, line them up.

Let's take a shot out of your butt. You're going to put sugar in her butt. Alright, let's move on. So this is the old version of the story. There's a sermon story of a certain lady of Inesham in Oxford Shire who took so long over the adornment of her hair

Sounds like armpit farts. Like over the fucking England. Who took so long over the adornment of her hair that she used to arrive at church barely before the end of Mass. One day the devil descended upon her head in the form of a spider gripping with its legs until

she well nigh died of fright. Nothing would remove the offending insect neither prayer nor exorcism nor holy water until the local of Abbott displayed the Holy Sacrament before it. What a match next to it. They're scared of fire.

I really think that there's also something where urban legends have their place in modern society is that it's like a fairy tale. It's modern fairy tales because you blend it's cautionary tales blended with things of the extreme and they go there is silly as peeing

on the third rail like the subway system and things like that. I love urban urban legends are really really fun. Oh you mean like Candy Man which was invented by the movie. Yeah but it was a good legend. I mean it's bloody merry. By the way Candy Man very similar to Mary Worth. Very similar.

Well I think again there's a lot of fixation of people being trapped in mirrors. I remember from the movie The Witches with a little girl that was trapped in the painting that used to scare the shit out of me. Isn't that also the one where the little girl got that fuck that movie is terrifying. That's the one that really makes me feel weird.

That weird childhood shit makes me feel really strange. Well in modern times urban legends are often rooted in certain like real stories. Like here like this is a real story I heard from a friend. Yeah this is a real story. Or sometimes these things are

actually reported in newspapers but when you actually go and try to as we'll see later on with one of our other stories that when you actually try to dig deep into it and find actual police records of this stuff nothing exists. Right. It's a lot like

I can give a very recent example out of North Korea. That whole story that we got where they said that Kim Yong-un fed his uncle to wild dog. It's kind of like the Hunter Thompson thing of saying something that's more extreme than the truth that actually reflects something

that's even deeper. His uncle was essentially dog food. Like he got murdered because he didn't clap hard enough at his birthday ceremony or whatever it is. I mean you have to clap pretty hard for the Kim Yong-un. Everybody knows it. I know. You gotta put on a smile. You gotta dance. I mean I did a

Time Warner cable commercial dressed up as a hobbit. You have to go in there and you have to go when seconds these. You know like I hate that bullshit. No it's not good to do. You have to do it. Do you want to work or do you want to be fed to dogs. Yeah. Exactly. I'll be dog food. So this is a story that I heard back in college

that's really interesting that it's a really you tell me whether or not it's true. Okay. Okay. Get it out. By the way, Henry is one of his infamous bacon butter muffins. What is that today?

A bacon cheddar corn muffin. And you didn't like it the first time you ate it. It's like eating a spicy sponge. You keep on ordering it. I was hungry. I told you why I ordered this because I only had $5.50. I didn't have $6

to get the croissant. Alright. I need to audition a little bit harder for those Time Warner ads. $5.50. Anyway, yes. So what's this true story? So I had a friend named Julie in college who was always going out with the boys. You know what I mean? She was like very

let's say fun. You could call her whatever her. But you would say actually she's just very fun. And my other friend named he was kind of a nerd and they were like talking basically one got invited to this party of this hot new freshman football player. This guy in Florida State.

He was a Jamie's Wilson. Jamie's Wilson. So we know what happened to her. Yeah. It's James Winston which you're trying to say. He was not charged great football player. Great rapist. He was not. He's not a rapist. So let's just clear his name here. So may get pretty much

no interested in going to this party and she had a really big midterm. Yeah, I told you the story. Now it's basically Julie at the entire period of flirt with this. Julie was just like not ready for that midterm. They were all ready to go. But Meg was completely prepared for a major study.

So Julie went out to the party. And Meg was her roommate. Meg was her roommate. I told you this story. Now we're trying to tell the audience the story. At the end of the day Julie spent hours getting ready for this party while Meg started studying.

Now Julie tried to get Meg to go Meg is being a bit of a bitch. She's not the horror that Julie is. I need to study. But she was insisted that she would study and she's going to pass the test. The girls were rather close and Julie didn't like leaving Meg alone to be bored while she was out having a blast.

A fucking steaming blast. What is that? I watched that Linda Lovelace movie. I didn't realize deep throat. She had a clitoris in her throat. Anyway, so Julie perhaps let's say she has a clitoris in her throat. Yeah, Julie finally gave up using an excuse that she would cram in the next day. Another term

for sex with her. Julie went to the party and she had the time of her life with her date. Baby, I'm going to cram it in your homeroom. She headed back to the dorm around 2 a.m. and decided not to wake Meg. That's right. Yeah. She has a good term. She's studying. Because Meg and me are real meow when you wake her up.

I got a good kiss. Meow, meow, meow, meow. We all know that, Meg. Yeah. She's trying Beatles. Oh, I didn't realize. She went a bit nervous about the midterm. She said she'd wake up early to ask Meg for help. Sure. Typical though. Typical non-studier. Yeah.

Now, this is true. Now, this is where it gets really fucked up. She woke up and she went to wake Meg. She told me this. So you're not reading that off your phone? Nope. No, this is a story. By the way, your storytelling cadence is very natural.

Yeah, totally. Everyone's buying this. Yep. Meg was lying on his stomach. What was Meg's last name? Bill Kersen. Bill Kersen. And you guys were really close friends. This is really true. Yeah, it's like you're reading without any emotions.

Meg, Bill Kersen. Yeah, okay, Bill Kersen. Apparently, Meg was sound asleep when Julie woke up, apparently. Yeah. Julie rolled Meg over to reveal Meg's terrified face. Julie concerned. She turned on the desk lamp.

I remember looking at it. It was silver. Oh, it was, okay. Did they not have any windows in this room? Nope. No windows. No, no, no. Like the sun, the morning sun. No, absolutely not. Meg's study stuff was still open and had blood all over it. Uh-oh. Meg had been slaughtered, I heard.

Julie in horror fell to the floor and looked up the sea, written on the wall in Meg's blood. Aren't you glad you didn't turn on the lights? That's scary stuff and it's real happening at Florida State University. I agree. 2001. She eventually turned on the lights.

She did. But then she saw the words, aren't you happy you didn't turn on the lights the night before. Theoretically, the guy was in bed with Meg. Yeah, she rolled right in there and she was going like, oh, oh, oh. All sore. Oh, I leak, I leak.

She was Asian. You didn't mention that. Not a traditional Asian. Meg Bilker, that was Julie Yacimoto. Oh, Yacimoto, so she was a stereotypical Asian. So that is an urban legend. That's entirely real, so bust that wide open. I mean, you know, dorm room drama.

First of all, the moral of the story is go party, have a good time, blow some dudes. Every single time, never choose to just sit at home and study because the other casserole killers are nerds, too. And they hang out. And you know what they're studying? You're studying. And as soon as you put those books down, you're a goner.

And they're going to get an A in the exam, a turn in your fucking vagina into a puppet hole. That's right. That's I don't know what university they're going to. But some Florida State University. Florida State. And of course, you know, this is real to the extent that you have a Ted Bundy character, of course.

It did happen to you. I mean, murders in dorm rooms happen on a regular basis. So these are good warning tales. I mean, that's the whole point of these. A lot of cautionary tales. Go out and have a good time, people. But these are just some of it. But I've heard that story 90 different ways.

Everyone has. It's like, it's a very famous, scary story. But what I think the different, because I was like sitting thinking, what's the difference between urban legends and creepypasta, is the fact that urban legends is about you learning something. It's about the lesson. It's about, like, you know.

And then creepypasta is all about. Honestly, are you glad you didn't turn in the light? It's like, YOLO, like that's like what it's you're supposed to learn, is that you should go out and have a good time. Go out and have a good time when you come back. Just go to sleep in the dark. Yeah, go to sleep in the dark.

You know, don't certainly not underneath a black light. Covert in semen. Covert in shame, shame. You get blinded by a dorm room with that black light. You'll learn a lot from these stories. Creepypastas, they're more cliffhangers, such as the greatest cliffhanger of all time, who is phone. I don't know who phone was, and I never will.

And I don't want to know. I don't want to. Yeah, it's like a cone. It's like a Buddhist cone. And of all the creepypasta, who is phone creepypasta is the closest thing to the end of the television show, the Sopranos. Just goes to dark.

I don't want to know if he lives. I mean, we know he dies in Italy after having a large meal. Of course. Isn't that weird that Tony Soprano and James Gandolfini has the perfect Tony Soprano death? Yeah, of course. Just died in Italy after huge amounts of wine. Yeah, he lived the character.

Yeah, he just did it. Anyway, yes. So what we said earlier about these urban legends having some root and truth, or actually being reported in the news, we have one that was reported in the news twice in Fairfax, Virginia. I'm going to read you this bulletin that came out in 1973. Oh, very exciting.

Fairfax County police said yesterday, they're looking for a man who likes to wear a white bunny rabbit costume and throw hatchets through car windows. Hell yeah. Air Force Academy cadet Robert Bennett told police that shortly after midnight last Sunday, he and his fiance were sitting in a car in the 5,400 block

of Guinea Road when a man dressed in a white suit. I'm sure what was the road? Guinea Road. It was Guinea Road? Guinea Road. Guinea Road. Guinea Road. You being racist?

No, the road is racist. I'm not racist. When a man dressed in a white suit with long bunny ears ran from the nearby bushes and shouted, you're on private property and I have your tag number. The rabbit threw a wooden-handled hatchet through the right front car window. The first year cadet told police,

as soon as he threw the hatchet, the rabbit skipped off into the night. Police said, Bennett and his fiance were not injured. Police say they have the hatchet, but no other clues in the case. They say Bennett was visiting an uncle who lived across the street from the spot where the car was parked. The cadet was in the area to attend

last weekend's Air Force Navy football game. And this introduces us to a wonderful urban legend out of Fairfax, Virginia, the Bunny Man. The Bunny Man. And he's been visiting. He's all over the South. All over. And like a lot of the Eastern seaboard,

there's a lot of Bunny Man talk. And I think that you'll see that, too, where a lot of these stories are regional. It goes on today, right? The Bunny Man is theoretically born in 1973, and people still report the Bunny Man today? Well, the Bunny Man did start in the early 70s. And it's still, I mean, by the 80s,

it kind of reached its apex. But it's one of those that still goes to this day. I hear about it all the time. And it's because the Bunny Man bridge is very important. When they say there's this one bridge in Virginia where you drive past, and all the times, you'll see a bunny man dressed in a bunny suit with an axe next to it, which is just

like the scariest crime outfit. It's adorable, though. It's adorable. Sort of. But it's just like, I guess it's like it could be. I always think about that. Is it scary to dress up like in a big Wolfman costume and do weird shit?

No. Or is it scary to dress up like a big bunny and do shit? But I think it's what your face looks like outside of the bunny costume. And if you have like a long, grizzled, gray beard, bloodshot eyes, and a fucking Bunny Man costume on, you're going to be pretty creepy. Right, right.

If you're going to be a hot, sexy young woman in there, because it's a little sexy. A hot, sexy bunny woman throwing hatchets through your car window, you would prefer that. Throw a hatchet through my car window. It sounds like you're putting things up my butt, but it just means I'm ready to be with you. So throwing hatchets through your window is a code

for anal sex and cramming in the homeroom. That's just your traditional vaginal sex. OK, we're learning a lot today. We're learning today. There's always a C storyline for our episodes. But there's a lot of story. Like the Bunny Man is said to be responsible for the deaths of the two disobedient children in the Clifton, New Jersey

area, which is like, again, a perfect way to use a cautionary tale of just like having, like I've never had that. I always wanted to have that as a kid, where it's like my grandfather grip you by the knee and just go like, you better be good. He would tell me, oh, the Bunny Man is going to come and get you. You don't want that.

No, I want it, though. No, no, you didn't. Because I had one when I was a kid and it fucking terrified me. What was it? The La Chusa. The La Chusa? Where are you from?

Argentina? No, but I grew up in a town with a really high number of Mexican immigrants. And the La Chusa, they said, if you lied, I think I've talked about this before, but if you lied to anyone, the La Chusa, which is a bird with the head of a woman, would come and stand on the foot of your bed at night

and scream at you. Well, that is just an elderly man talking about the wife he's hated for 30 years. That is such a male made up. And it just screams at you about the dishes. And I don't know why we don't have a new car. Yeah, I'll take out the trash in the morning when I got pants on.

They're not picking up the garbage till 9 AM anyway, so it doesn't matter if it goes out at midnight. So squawking and squawking. And I tell you, she's getting wings like a fucking bird. I got to say the La Chusa sounds pretty scary. It does sound very scary. That's true. That's very, very true.

But your father was with the NYPD, so you pretty much had the biggest hooky man. Yeah, they had real stuff to be concerned. No, my grandmother, you should just tell me, like, oh, Henry, Tommy, you're going to eat chocolate. Chocolate's going to give you a heart attack. That was what she did. That's actually true, though.

But she didn't know then that dark chocolate has antioxidants. Yes, well, not when you eat it by the fucking gallon. Absolutely. Yeah, when I eat it by the fucking cylinder, because that's what America runs on chocolate. So that's one thing that was like, so these deaths of children in the close to New Jersey

area were pinned on up. Somebody, they said, was wearing a bunny suit. Another one was like, there was a local hermit that they said was like, dressed in a bunny suit. I forget where this was. He was, again, just saying, an escaped mental asylum. The thing about the bunny man, I mean, this could be real. Anyone who wants to go throw axes through somebody's window

could just put a bunny suit on to do it. Yeah, it could be. That's the kind of fun one about this. And this one, the insane asylum thing also has a paranormal aspect to it, because it's said that he escaped from the mental asylum in 1904. So he's just been there forever. Yeah, he's just a spirit that's always been there,

and will come and just get you. He's a boogeyman. You know what they got to do on these mental asylums? Because I feel like a lot of people escape from them. They're just going to get those rotating doors. Because if you're mentally insane, you just go around and around and around and around. They'll just catch you.

Oh, yeah, absolutely. You'll never be able to get out. Yeah, because you keep showing up waiting for lunchtime. That's outside. That's inside, outside, inside, outside, inside. When do I get my mush? When do I get my mush? You want your mush?

You've got to come inside. You've got to come inside. You want a mush? And pretty addicted to mush, huh? Come in, Dan. But then there's like, yeah, they said here, too, you have to put this together, the Clifton Bunny Man. What is this, castle spirits thing?

It also sounds like the worst DJ in Clifton, New Jersey. No, I'm the Bunny Man. The inmate story came from a website called Castle of Spirits around 1999. And he told the story about the inmate escaping from the Asain Asylum. And he escaped with another guy named Marcus Wallster. He killed Marcus Wallster and then eventually became

the Bunny Man. Sure, absolutely. That's a great person to pin it on. And that's another aspect of Urban Legends, is that they're not usually that detailed. They're usually being able to be told pretty quickly. There's a lot of missing pieces, because you say it's like, he killed his fellow inmate and then eventually became

the Bunny Man. Why did he become the Bunny Man? Where did he find the Bunny Suit? The horrifying process of becoming a Bunny Man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was just, you know, he just loved a hippity in the hoppin' it. I would actually really enjoy to see this in a very gruesome your next, maybe the guys who made your next.

Or hell Henry, perhaps you and I can write it. I love that you- Just an actual guy stapling the Bunny Suit to full of blood. It's like, here comes Peter Cottenham, hoppin' down the Bunny Trail. You know when girls go like, Brad? Brad, is that you? Stop singing a bad song, Brad.

What's up, honey? How are you? I just got here. Brad, I thought you were- No, no, no, in fact- Nothing's more emasculated than being killed by a man in a Bunny Suit. That's bad.

God, you got any carrots? What's up, doc? Oh, the catchphrases are gonna be great. Yeah, we got this. Well, the first story that I read, the first news story, was not the only news story about the Bunny Man. For the Bunny Man reappeared, a man wearing a furry rabbit suit with two long ears appeared again on Guinea Road

in Fairfax County Thursday night. But he was just a lost furry. What do they call it, a fluffy furry? Furry, a furry, yeah. This time wielding an axe and chopping away at a roof support on a new house. This was only two weeks after the last incident, Paul Phillips, a private security guard

for a construction company, said he saw the rabbit standing on the front porch of a new but unoccupied house. Phillips said, I started talking to him, and that's when he started chopping. Oh, you people trespass around here, Phillips said the rabbit told him as he whacked eight gashes in the pole. A lot of trespassing shit.

No, Bunny Man is all about trespassing. If you don't get out of here, I'm a bust you in the head. So that's a good chance he's drunk. But the big thing is that he's just being comfortable. I don't know how many times it's like, what do I wear when I'm in my house? I got my velour pantsuit that Jackie bought me that says chaos rains on the back of it

with a giant fox in the back of it. And that's what I wear. Sure, that's what makes me feel comfortable. Sometimes it's nothing at all. So sometimes I'm totally nude. And if you come into my house, maybe you'll start seeing the nude man of Mauser Street. The nude man.

The nude man, just going like, where are you, my Thai food? Yeah, you're not my Thai food. Shall I make a show with my Thai food, or I'm gonna start busting some heads. The nude man of Mauser Street is the most terrifying urban legend I've ever heard in my life. And it just got created. But if you are nice to him.

But the weird thing with the nude man of Mauser Street, even though he's nude, you can't see his penis. Oh, my. I've got that ginger bush hair. It makes it seem like it's all a flame. And the middle of him was a flame and a torso was on fire. The flaming crotch nude man of Mauser Street. Yeah, so there's a lot of other,

any other stories connected to Bunny Man? There's a shit ton of them. There is a shit ton. Those are the best ones that I was able to find. There are some murders around Fairfax, Virginia, that people say contribute to the legend of the Bunny Man. Well, then I think it's the classic example of what we have with the Zodiac Killer.

And they talk about all the time where it's like, you can, that's the perfect place to do a crime then. Same thing would happen with the Long Island serial killers. Because there's all these like other conjecture happening. Like they believe it's the Bunny Man killing people is that you can kill somebody and probably get away with it because they think it's the Bunny Man. The Bunny Man, yeah.

It's the same with the Zodiac Killer. Yeah, no, absolutely. If you are in desperate need to kill somebody, go to a place where everyone tends to get killed and then you're gonna just- Tress up like fucking Bigfoot and touch the woman. Well, don't. Don't do that.

But these murders all occurred long before the legend of the Bunny Man came about. These are like murders that happened like 1918, 1949. I think if there's a place that just has a gruesome past, if it just, if you can put it, but you can also attach these stories to the Bunny Man. Like there was this little girl named Eva Roy, who was murdered as she was watching her father's cows

one night. She was found tied on a tree. I watch cows. Yeah. Like I call them pre-hamburgers. Suck on their udders. Get that delicious milk. Well, I don't think we're gonna let you watch the cows

anymore, Mr. Zabrowski. As a matter of fact, I called the police and you're gonna have to go- I'm gonna go look at the pigs. Okay. All right. Yeah, officer. Now he's looking at the pigs.

Yeah, no, I'll stay on the line. I'll pick them all the best ones. So she disappeared 24 hours later. They found her tied to a tree in the woods, her apron strings, tied around her throat, and they never found her killer. There were a ton of suspects, but they never found the killer.

We're never able to pin it on anyone. There was the old man- Oh, who ran the amusement park? The old man Jenkins. There's old man Hankins, old man Watson. Yeah, they're all ready to do it. You know, I think we need to have a plan to get some more young men in the town,

because I think we're all gonna die soon. Well, anytime you have a murdered child, especially an unsolved murder or a murdered baby, a dead baby, anything like that, that's where urban legends spring up, especially around bridges. Yes. Okay, yes.

What is it? I think that that is a, I think that there is some sort of psychosymbolic thing with bridges. There's something about it. Cause we talk about with dream, like dream interpretation. Like water is always supposed to mean the soul.

Like it's whenever you're in water or entering water, it's supposed to mean like you're entering either the soul or the unconscious. And so there's something about bridges that is, if we, if there is a connection to the symbol of water being that like, it's like a bridge between worlds you hear all the time. You know, it's like the idea of,

there's something magical to him. How many fairy tales happen at bridges? So what does it mean then? Cause I was just having this dream where my dad was just telling me I was a failure. What does that dream mean? You sure you just didn't want to listen to a voicemail? Oh, that's right.

Yeah. Burn it down the house. Oh, here we go. Bridges, yes. Bridges are a terrifying place. And a lot of people die on bridges. Yeah, a lot of people die on bridges. I mean, I knew there was a kid in high school.

Yeah, there was a kid in high school. His dad, I mean, well, he was drunk. And he just drove right off a bridge and he fucking died. I think another thing, the reason why we're afraid of bridges is cause one of the earliest fairy tales that we hear is the three Billy Goats gruff. Yeah.

You know, you have the troll under the bridge. It's like, but the same thing is like, there's also something that involved that with caves. Like caves that's deep, dark. It's like what they were in their original fairy tales. The whole thing was the forest, the dark forest, everything that's unknown. And then there's also,

so we're gonna want to talk about the crybaby bridge. Of course, crybaby bridges are huge. We had one where I grew up. Yeah, it's all over the country. This idea of, it's a phenomena of urban legend. Basically, it's like a bridge that people say that if you drive down or walk down it, you'll hear the sound of a baby crying.

And it's connected to some sort of childhood death that happened there. Well, there's one, one of the theories or one of the legends is that a family was driving across a flooded bridge. They didn't realize how flooded the bridge was. They had to abandon the car. And then as they abandoned the car,

they forgot the kid. Yikes. And then the kid just sort of. Kevin! Yeah, it was a real home alone situation. Which by the way, I was thinking about a home alone recently when I was watching the movie, You're Next with Holder McNeely.

Why are we thinking of your, why are we thinking of home alone? We'll watch it in your next. Because Home Alone is a horror movie. Yeah. The kid is being terrorized by the strangers. And they try to twist it. Like it's some sort of, you know, fun situation for a child to be in.

Yeah. It's fucking horror fun. It's horror fun. It's the purge, but with Christmas songs. Yes, exactly. I remember the, the horror, the urban legend that was around my town. Of course, it was said that there was a house

that was nearby in which devil worshipers were said to have their little covens, which we'll get to devil worshipers later. So cool. I just want one. Yeah, I know. I know. But it was said that if you drove across this one bridge

and you slowed down, that you would have a handprint on the back of your car. I've heard that. As you walk through. And in fact, there was another, I found another one that said if you poured baby powder on the hood, you would see the footprints of children. And I had a friend that said one night he was driving

across the bridge and he heard like, he was driving slow and he heard like a, on the bed of his truck and he hauled ass out of there. He drove over to the Allsup, stopped, got out and looked at his car. To the Allsup's? The Allsup's family? No, the Allsup's is a local convenience store.

So it's right next to the Gamuncle, which is a wonderful malt shop they have in Texas. Gamuncles? Sometimes Marcus forgets that not everyone is from Bo Bo Bumble Fuck Texas. Yeah, sometimes, every once in a while, I forget. But anyway, he got out of the car and he looked on the bed of his truck or on the tailgate of his truck

and there was a handprint back there. However, this guy was perpetually full of shit. Oh, okay. There's something to the meeting of the legend to your own brain and how magical the brain can be in making things reality. And he's all, but then again, if you do see a bunch of handprints on your car,

like go back, cause you might have hit somebody. Go back to where you, where you felt the hand. No, you never go back. Well, I think you've met your person dying there. Driving, driving. It depends on what morality you want to have there. Put miles between you and the pigs, man. Get to Mexico.

Go down and change your name to El Carracha. Down in fucking Pueblo, Mexico. Eat yourself some burritos. Have a nice young Mexican wife. You never go back to the States. I mean, I just feel like you're getting your ideas of what being on the run is from the TV show Eastbound and Down.

And I don't know if that's right. I think it's a more panicky situation. Well, one of the other crybaby bridges that I found was called the Screaming Bridge of Mod Hughes Road. Hey, you drive it, you drive it, you drive it. Nah, you drive it. Wow, this is the most annoying bridge I've ever been on. Turn up the radio.

It's said that there, it's a site of a lot of terrible accidents, a lot of suicide. It's said that there are 36 people that have reported to have died on or around this bridge. Where is the bridge? This is in Butler County, Ohio. Okay.

B-U-T-T-L-E-R. For all of our Ohio friends, if you wanna go take a picture of this thing or something or go hang out at the bridge, let us know what you're experiencing. Please send it. And there's railroad tracks below the bridge for sometimes you can see a ghostly train coming through.

You see mist, you see a black hooded figure. The legend says that a car carrying a man and a woman stalled on top of the bridge. The man got out to get help while the girl stayed. When the man returned, the girl was hanging on the bridge above the tracks. And that man was Ted Kennedy. The man that supposedly perished with unexplained causes.

The woman perished with unexplained causes. Yeah, well no, the man, after he found the woman. Oh, I see, okay. Possibly dying from fright. This is another one cool. Oh man, I wanna die from fright so bad. I just seems like it's hard. Yeah, it was on a type two diabetes or fright.

I also like this one too, Egypt, the Egypt Road one from Salem. I love this one. You know, so this is the Egypt Road near Salem, Ohio is actually what it used to be. It used to be called West Pine Lake Road. If dead ends into the east of the bridge, legends attribute the crying baby

to one that fell in and accidentally drowned. There's also a rumor that there was a cult of some sort in the woods surrounding the bridge. In 2011, there was a satanic ritual involving the murderer or a sacrifice of an elderly woman that was found burned to death in a cage on the bridge. Okay. The closed road remains as an access way

to high voltage utility lines. The baby look quiet is gonna be heard at night or during the day. And that's really fucking cool. Yeah. I mean, not cool, I mean, it's not cool. It's interesting. It's fun that you can lady burned to death

in a bridge and a fucking satanic ritual. Woo! That's an awesome urban legend. And there's like, we were just trying to make beer elderly lady. We just stuck a beer can up her ass. Oh, I see. He said, I don't fucking hurt her.

Like beer chicken. Like beer chicken, but it's an elderly lady. I understand where you're going with it. At me, fouls off the bone. Which is, you throw a baby in the river and if it drowns, it drowns. Otherwise, you got yourself a little Michael Phelps there and you're gonna have a real successful life

with subway commercials and whatnot, but it'll probably drown. Yeah. That's the best. And the story brings us to my personal favorite urban legends, devil worshipers. Oh, these are the best. You grew up in the late 80s, early 90s in America.

Every single fucking town had a devil worshipers story. If only it was real. If only it was real, but there was always abandoned houses where people would say like, that's where the devil worshipers go to do their sacraments. They sacrifice children and they sacrifice babies. And of course they all say like,

they sacrificed a child there five, 10 years ago. You know, my cousin like knew this kid that got sacrificed there. But of course, nobody, like if a kid actually got sacrificed in a satanic ritual in a small town. That's great news, people would be, that was huge headlines.

People would be talking about it every day for the next 20 years. Well, the thing about the satanic cult and Marcus brings it up, I think it was actually called the satanic panic, right? Yeah, it was called, exactly. It was like this coin thing. And the West Memphis three got caught up in it.

I'll put it the same way. I would say, well, I mean, not to that story, but I remember I was just in Chicago and I went to go look for the Gacy house and I spoke with a taxi driver and I was gonna try to go over to the Gacy house and he's like, you're trying to see old Gacy house? And I was like, yeah.

And he's just like, I won't take you there. Why? So he didn't take me. Yeah. Isn't that something? I would assume that that happens kind of on a regular basis. Oh, of course. Yeah, you get a fat dude in there.

I have my human centipede shirt on. Oh, yeah. I'm just basically just being like, I'm like, excuse me, I'd like to take a look at the historical and please meet him. I want to see the fountain that was in Mirrors of the Children. No, no, no, it's just important.

The Sears Tower. People like to look at the Sears Tower. I'll take you there. I want to see Gacy's house. Oh, you want to see the Gacy house? I want to see Gacy's place. Well, you know what? This cab is free at charge.

If you just get out now, we're on the highway. Just roll down. That would be fine. Just roll on out of here. Like Walter in the Big Lebowski. And I saw a good old fashioned our adventure mate Kiki out there. Oh, yeah.

We're joining us at the Sam Adventure. Hello, Kiki. How are you? Hello, Kiki. Yeah. Hello, Kiki. I hope you're enjoying Chicago. It's a beautiful city.

Yes, it is. It's a big fat one. Yes. Yes, it is. I heard a great devil worshiper urban legend where someone said that there was a Satanist devil worshipping house in their neighborhood and all the sidewalks in front of it were painted black.

And there was an upside down cross painted on each of the supports. And there was a hearse always parked in the front of the house. There was a house that had a hearse in my hometown as well. And it was our neighbor house. It was very scary.

Everybody, I did too. It's because it was a cheap car to buy. That's right. I mean, that's what it is. Yeah, that's true. And so this Satanist house, they would always have one candle in the window. And you drive by with a group of your friends.

You'd make the block. And as you drove by the house the second time, however many people were in the car with you, that number of candles would appear in the window. It's like that CCR song. Keep a candle in the window. Kind of like that. Sure.

No, we had a person that my mom always affectionately referred to as the witch. That was a woman that she said did black magic that lived in a house. But I think it was just because they were rivals in the quilt guild, running for president of the quilt guild. Yeah, exactly. Like there were Democrats or something.

Like, I don't know, a witch house. But the interesting thing about the Satanic and devil worshiping stuff is it's not even so much the Satanic or the devil worshipers themselves. They're just goofballs. These are our friends painting their nails black, going through a golf phase. But it's the Christian reaction to it

that makes it super heavy and really gives it weight. Because I remember growing up super evangelical. And we would have full shut-in, like three-day marathons about Satanism and witchcraft. Little did they know all they were doing was. They were fighting a spiritual war. Yeah, it's like Satanists in real life were just hanging around topless,

just eating crab salad, having a good time. Just having an awesome fucking time. Just be like, these deviled eggs. Like all the foods are deviled with quotation marks. They are amazing. Watch the movie, The Sentinel, with the great movie, The Sentinel. That's great.

I love it. What's her name? She was in, she's topless constantly in that movie. Beverly D'Angelo. Beverly D'Angelo. Loving her. Holy Lord. Man, I watched Rosemary's Baby again.

I liked the fucking 15th time last night. Oh, it's great. One day we'll be in a place with us, with enough last podcast fans. So we all just join together in a big old house and like play techno music and cover each other in Vaseline, stuff like that. Just roll around.

That'll be a good time. I would love to just go across a room but never lift my feet. That's what you can do with Vaseline, ghost walk it. That would be great. Another great urban legend concerning hell and satanist. And there was a couple of these I remember in Texas that was one in a cemetery in Dallas, Fort Worth.

They're known as, there was another one in Possum Kingdom, Lake Texas. Possum Kingdom. Yeah. Yeah, Possum. Possum Kingdom is the greatest lake in all of America. A bunch of possums having a fucking orgy underneath that fucking garbage dump.

A terrible place to get a burger. It's just got a possum tail next to it. Welcome to Possum Kingdom. So is this Angus beef? And you're like, yeah. Yeah, unnamed Angus. You know what, that's funny. That's funny because I actually named that Possum Angus.

Sure, I guess it is Angus beef. That's a little true. No, it's Possum. Yeah, it's 100% Possum. That's what 100% of it, maybe like 98%. I like it. Good, good, you have to. I'm sorry I tried to lie to you.

I don't even know why I did. It's the name of the fucking restaurant. So these are squash fries made out of pure Honduran squash. So I heard of a great one in New Jersey. It's near the town of York. It's the story of Toad Run Road. Yeah, in the 1800s there was a colossal mental asylum that stood in the woods because of its remote location.

I mean, the motherfucker lit on fire, firefighters couldn't get to it in time. A lot of the patients... Because like crazy people just burst into flames. Yep, all that happens. I heard that. They're all covered in kerosene all the time. Do you like my aftershave? Like jumping in gasoline all over himself?

Let me call up my best friend Dr. Seuss, you don't have a cell phone there, Andy. That's not a cell phone, that's a banana. Let me just, excuse me, I'm on a call. Banana phone. Most of the inmates in the upper floors burned to death, the ones on the lower level. They let them all out rather than let them burn to death. But a lot of these people were, of course, criminally insane. You get a bunch of criminally sane in a group.

They scatter. They don't want it. They just scatter to the forest. Yeah, they all scatter. It must have been quite a debate that these people had, though, when the top floor was burning and then they're like, well, should we let the bottom floor out? We could just burn them all, though. Let's give it a second.

Let's just see what happens. And because these people were criminally insane, the search party was extremely aggressive. Any time they found one of the inmates, I mean, no questions asked. Take no prisoners. Either beat them in a submission or kill them on the spot. Yeah. And they should use a Bret Hart sharpshooter type technique. That would also probably work.

So they say that the psychic impact of this event, all the people burning to death, all the people in the woods being beaten to death or just straight out shot or stabbed, they say that because of this, a gateway to hell opened up. It sounds like the movie 13 ghosts kind of. Yeah. I love that movie. Yeah. That movie's great.

They say that there are seven barriers, which is great because someone did their homework and knew that seven was a very important biblical number. No, it's really, this is a great story. Yeah. Yeah. So they say that there are seven barriers along the path to the former side of the asylum. Most people can't even locate the first one. But for those who managed to find the path, it is said that the sense of evil and overpower

feelings of death will turn back even the bravest of explorers packed back by the fifth gate. So where is this in New Jersey? York. You're in York, New Jersey. Go check it out and take pictures, please. Go walk the seventh path. Absolutely.

I believe it's in New Jersey. I'm not 100 percent sure. New Jersey. Yeah. But you can look it up. You can look it up. There's hells of gates. Gates of hells everywhere.

Everywhere. This is a fucking, I would say probably a worldwide phenomenon, but in America, it is definitely a huge phenomenon. Legends say that if one did manage to get past all seven gates that they would be standing upon the burnt remains of the mental hospital, a bona fide passageway to hell itself. And you get a car that gives you free peeps for life. Isn't that nice? And then I wanted to be punny and then you see Bill Gates of my right.

He's Satan. He's the devil there. He actually has a good foundation, so it doesn't work. He made the condom thing. He made the condom thing. Gates of hell. Yeah, you got it. Henry's butthole.

Yeah. Thank you, Ben. Thank you, Ben. I can't believe it took us that long. Yeah. Yeah. Ram it in her homeroom. Yeah.

So there's another one more. It's kind of a gate to hell. It's called gross point devil gross points devil's mill. It is said that there was a sibling rivalry. Don't go there. There's a sibling rivalry. And when the girl died, she said that she would rather sell her part to Satan rather than give it to the brother.

And as if to seal her pack, the mill was cloven in two at the moment of her death by lightning and then burnt to the ground. And it said that the distraught brother saw Satan himself huffing a French quadrille amid the flames. Yeah. What's a French quadrille? Like maybe a jig, I think. A little dance.

What's a jig? Oh, oh, oh. It's not a donut. Yeah. There you are. You can't really see what we're doing. No. That's why I was wondering why we were doing it in the first place.

Speaking of Satan, can we talk about that car real quick? Oh, yeah. Well, which car? The Volga. Oh. Oh, the Volga is really cool, too. If you wonder what's a Satan drive, it's a 1960 Black Volga. And it's because it has a bad transmission.

That's right. No power windows. The heat doesn't work. Oh, I mean, he's a set player. Yeah. It's a bad car. I mean, the devil, he doesn't need a good transmission, but he needs the heat. The heat has to work in the devil's car.

I mean, come on. Well, when the devil's in Poland, he drives the Black Volga. That's right. And it said that the Black Volga. It isn't the devil in Poland. Does he ever leave Poland? I'm really certain he's there right now. So it said that the Black Volga was driven by high-ranking Soviet officials who kidnapped

young and pretty girls for sexual pleasures of the highest-ranking Soviet comrades. I mean, again, this is in Poland, so young and pretty. It's subjective. Hey, there's plenty of hot Polish girls out there. 55-year-old lunch lady. We just picked up. It's the thing with Polish women and men. Polish women are incredibly attractive until about the age of 42, and then they turn into

witch women. I think you got that number over to 24. There's another legend that says that either it's driven by vampires, mysterious priests, body vendors, and in fact, some say that children are kidnapped, so they can drain their healthy blood to be given to rich leukemia sufferers. Yeah, that was an interesting thing, the leukemia sufferers. I don't think there's any evidence that that works. No, it doesn't.

You can't just switch out someone's blood. This isn't fucking 1532, where you can just drain out the humors and be fucking healthy again. Oh, that's what it is. It's a demon in his brain. Oh, yes, yes. And it's said that sometimes even Satan himself drove the Black Volga. The Black Volga.

God, I'm driving here. The road rage on Satan. God, the traffic on this 405 is killing me. Yeah, guys, what does a guy got to do to get a good classic rock station number, right? Satan loves his classic rock. And I better go rape that fucking rapist over there. Well, that's the thing. He would rape the rapist.

And while we're in Poland, let's move on to the Dibbock box, which has its origins in Poland in the Holocaust. It's like this. Did I tell you that for Christmas I got a weed box that was sanctioned by the Church of Satan? Wow. Yeah, I have this great weed box that has a Baphomet symbol that the Church of Satan has a copy right on.

Of course, they're not idiots. You have to get permission from them to use a specific one. Have you smoked the weed that you've placed in that box yet? A day. Every day. And do you feel like it has a different effect on your brain now that it's been? No, no, no. I'm still the same.

Same old, same old great me, you know? You'll change one day. Well, you may remember the Dibbock box from a movie that came out a couple of years ago where, you know, blesses, blesses, blesses, heart, modest, yeah, oh, no, we can't bring them. He was in over his head. He bit off more than he could chew. He was bad.

What was the name of that guy? What was that thing again? Possession. The possession. Oh, yeah. He really put he put in his all. But I mean, what else do you have to do besides putting on a costume and showing up in front of camera?

I mean, you didn't have to do anything else besides that and yell a lot because, you know, it said that the Dibbock is, you know, it's a possessing spirit. It's a restless soul. It's a Jewish demon. And you know, just like in Catholic exorcisms, it's always nervous, always complaining about the heat. You know, it's hot though, so it's, it's right. The thing with what Jewish people tend to complain about, I'm totally on board with.

Yeah, yeah, sure. Yeah. And they hate spicy food. I don't know. And they're afraid of cats. Sure. They can't be seen in mirrors. It's all hard.

It's a hard thing to be. Like a vampire confusion. Normally, it's what they said it was a wine cabinet, which was basically contained a thing called a Dibbock, which is a malicious ghost. It's something that's like contained in basically the movie came from this apparent true story about a Dibbock box that was sold on eBay. Yes, that's right. To a family.

According to Manus's story, he bought the box in a state sale in 2001. It belonged to a Holocaust survivor of Polish origin named Javella, who had escaped to Spain prior to immigration to the United States. Javella purposely sealed the Dibbock inside the box there after it contacted her and her friends while performing a seance with a homemade Oracle board. On opening the box, Manus found that it contained two 1920s pennies, a lock of blonde hair bound with cord, a lock of black brown hair bound with cord, a small statue engraved with a Hebrew word shalom, one dried rosebud, a single candle holder with four octopus shaped

legs and a small golden wine goblet. All items supposedly used in Jewish folklore to exercise demons. Numerous owners of the box have reported that strange phenomena accompanied it. In his story, Manus claimed that he experienced a series of horrific nightmares shared with other people while they were in possession of the box or when they stayed at his home while he had it. His mother suffered a stroke and the same day he gave her the box as a birthday present October 28th.

Every owner of the box is reported that it smells of cat urine or jasmine flowers and nightmares involving an old hag involved in accompanying the box. I'm going to just say, you rarely do people debate, is that urine or is that jasmine? I feel like that's what you're referring to, but where you dog sit, that's where the whole house smells like potpourri over fucking the fucking stinky smell of dog piss. The cat urine, I think it just belonged to an old cat lady for a long time and the cats just pissed all over it all the time. Right, okay, so jasmine you think is the scent that it's supposed to be?

I think jasmine is just what they use to try to cover the smell of cat urine. Because once a cat pisses on something, that's smelly, never going to work. Yeah, it's a peepee box now. Yeah, cat pissed on my drum set in college. From then on we were known as the band that smelled like cat piss. We just were never, I could never get it out. What was the name of the band? Uh, Hugs a Bunch Pet-a-File.

What was it? Hugs a Bunch Pet-a-File. Hugs a Bunch Pet-a-File, the band that smells like cat piss. That was us. You know, that actually kind of works. They have a mature sound, I'd love to hear that from Hugs a Bunch Pet-a-File. I would love to see the review. Hugs a Bunch Pet-a-File is offering subtle hints as to what the 2000s will bring to music.

We once wrote a song called Jungle Tour in which there was a robot that was programmed to feed homeless people, but there was a malfunction, so we just fed them all sand until they died. That's a good song. I love it. And it was put inside the Dibbock box. So apparently Jason Haxson, director of the Museum of Osteopathic Medicine in Kirksville, Missouri, had been following all the blogs written about this Dibbock box and he bought it.

He wrote this book called The Dibbock Box and claimed that he subsequently developed strange health problems, including hives, coughing up blood, and headed to welts. His wife experienced bloody, weeping blisters after coming in contact with clothing he wore during a failed containment attempt. His office also experienced the bursting of lightbulbs. Upon removal of the box from the museum, Haxson had locked the box in the back of his truck, parking at his home in the evening. Haxson experienced nightmares of hag-like women, not unlike Manus' claims.

The final straw, Haxson claims happened while he and his son were watching television and his son noticed a black flame-like mass in the room with them. Haxson consulted with rabbis to try to figure out a way to seal the Dibbock on the box again. Apparently successful, he took this freshly resealed box and hid it at a secret location, which he will not reveal. Will not reveal. So that's probably around somewhere. Yes.

Yeah, we gotta go dig it up. We gotta find the Dibbock box. It's around somewhere, but I just want one. Have you got one? Send one to me. I mean, is there only one? Yes. In this story.

Into this story. Oh, okay. But there's multiple Dibbock's. A Dibbock's is a thing that you can do. Okay. But there's hundreds of them. This Dibbock's is the one that, like, there is a definite urban legend surrounding it. It's a very recent one, too.

I wish we could find the original eBay listing for it. Let's see if we can find it and I'll put it up on the space. Well, I mean, hell, I'm sure there's some. If anybody can find it, put it up. Yeah, let us know. There are a bunch of haunted things on eBay if you ever Google that. They're all around. So purchase them.

Hell, yeah. So we want to read another great thing about the Internet. With the Internet and Urban Legends, you know, they started way back in the day, they would just be stories and then eventually we learned how to write and then they were written stories. And with the Internet now, we have a whole brand new version of Urban Legends, which is really pretty exciting. Yeah, absolutely. And now through the email, which is perfect.

And I feel like a lot of it, because we talk about it, is that, like, I know that if my grandparents were still around and could have access to the Internet, they get caught into how many fucking different scams because the things that show up on your email and sound really official and really scary respond immediately. And so now we're going to read some famous chain emails that went around in the early 2000s or like late 1990s. And like, if you'll see, tell me if you remember them. Yeah.

And much as people were scammed in the, what, you know, by Jordan Vellfort there, the Wolf of Wall Street. Wolf of Wall Street. If anybody calls, yeah, well, check it out now. If anybody calls you randomly and you don't know them or someone sends an email, hang up and delete the fucking email. I don't, there are a lot of victims and sometimes it feels difficult to have sympathy for them because what are they doing?

Yeah. Who's hitting reply on the Nigerian Uncle scam? But somebody is. Just morons with no money. All right. So you want to start with the first of our tales? Sure. Let's start with this one.

This one supposedly came from this one. Actually, this is great because it looks very official. Yes, it does. It's the United States Federal Bureau of Investigations Director, Louis J. Free, and it gives the headquarters of the FBI, gives the telephone number, and then it begins action. The agency has become aware of a group of gypsies operating in the Southeast. These gypsies are the in the employee of the Chinese Communist Party. They are responsible for up to 70 cases of testicle mutilation.

Whoa. Result. The Bureau's investigation into this matter has developed the following profile. Any male traveling alone in the Southeast is at risk. Do not attempt to take unknown women of Turkish descent to your room. Nice. Do not attempt to engage any type of sexual behavior with unknown Turkish women. Case.

These women are responsible for over 70 testicle mutilation cases. They are all very intelligent and should be considered armed and dangerous. By the use of their female attributes, they lure men into positions of seclusion. At this point, they will drug, then remove the testicles of the unsuspecting men. Our investigation has determined that Caucasian, Black, and Hispanic testicles are being sold in China as a form of aphrodisiac. No one has lost his life in this way. The serious loss of blood is dangerous, but should not lead to death.

If you think you have been a victim of this crime, please contact your nearest FBI field office. I don't know if the word think needs to be in that sentence. You know, right? The calls you're going to get and just being like, my balls, you're caught up. No, are you sure? Have you checked around? Let me check.

No, they're still there. Okay. You must have sat on them and they went numb. You know my balls got cut off, but I don't know if she was Turkish. Well, we can do nothing for you. We can't help you at all. This is the anti-Gypsy department you first called. All right.

Well, I'll try to read this one here. This one's called Rockhard Ab. It's a forward. Please read. Scary. Okay. So state police warning. Warning.

State police. Do not ignore. State police warning for online. Please read this very carefully. Then send it out to all the people online that you know, something like this is nothing to be taken casually. This is something you do want to pay attention to. I think we fucking got it.

If a person with a screen name of Rockhard Ab's or goes by his name, Jason Stallings contacts you. Do not reply. Do not talk to this person. Do not answer any of his instant messages or emails. Whoever this person may be, he is a suspect for murder and three in the death of three women so far. Contact.

They might still get there. Contacted through the internet. He's killing these chicks through the internet. He's a suspect in a shooting and is known for raping and beating young women. He is located in the mid-Michigan area. Josh. Yeah. So Jason Stallings.

We're looking for you. We're going to find you, Jason. Please send this email to all women on your buddy list and ask them to pass this on as well. This screen name was seen on Yahoo and AOL so far. So he is up to date. AOL and Yahoo. This one's from like 99.

This is not a joke. He sent this to men too. Just in case. He turns like gay or something. I don't know. Is there any serial killer in history who started with women and went to men? Yep. Sexual?

Okay. All right. But just in case. Send to everyone. Ladies, this is serious. Over the years, these messages have been named in several different men allegedly who allegedly murdered women. They contacted on the internet, Slave Master, Sweet Callie Guy Forever, Joker Kid 613, Jason

Money and Jason the S is a money sign and now Rock Hard Abs slash Jason Stallings. That's a boring screen name. Just Jason Stallings. That's boring. Jason Stallings. So that's pretty much the gist of this one. Only in this case, Slave Master's real name was Johnny Robertson. This does have a little bit of truth to it, but it wasn't 99 actually.

The guy Johnny Robinson was charged in 2000 with the murders of five women being done in this way. That's of course, this email didn't start until 2001, something like that. I'm sure that there are some serial killers who have found women in these cell rooms. No, this is one I remember receiving. I received this one called Spunk Ball, date, Tuesday, February 01, 2000, subject, Spunk Ball Warning. Spunk Ball Warning.

I just wanted to warn all of my friends about something that has been occurring more and more lately all throughout the country. Groups of teenagers have been caught in alarming numbers playing a new and dangerous game called Spunk Ball. Spunk Ball consists of a group of teens at a car pulling up to a stop light and looking around for a car, stop nearby with an open window. When one is spotted, the teen shouts Spunk Ball and throw a gasoline-soaked rag that has been wrapped in aluminum foil through the open window, which they spell what they

spell through wrong. There's a lot of errors in these. On the outside of the foils, attached a small firecracker with a fuse lit. When the firecracker explodes, it shreds the foil and the rag is ignited, causing a large flame that may catch the interior of the car on fire. Spunk Ball playing has already claimed two lives, caused uncountable injuries due to burns and caused thousands of dollars in damage to automobiles. The best defense say authorities is to keep all windows rolled up when stopped at traffic

lights. Almost only cars with windows down are being targeted. If you were at a red light and hear a shout of Spunk Ball and notice something coming flying in your window, the best thing to do is have all passengers immediately exit the vehicle. Do not try to retrieve the object and it will ignite once the firecracker explodes. Please pass this on to everyone you care about. I would say, though, if you see a 1960 Black Volga, Spunk Ball, throw it in there.

I just feel like I would still do that every once in a while. Just two cars with open windows going, Spunk Ball! Spunk Ball! Watch people roll up the windows. Oh, that would be funny. Just throw a wet rag. Does this water? Yes, cover my fucking semen.

I mean, it could very well be a semen thing, but those are some very fun urban legends. And this one is a lot like a ton of urban-like emails that involve cars. You have the one where if you flash your headlight, it's the one. That's a true one. I mean, they say that's true, but I don't think it's true. There's the one about the MS-13 is they'll bump your car and once you get out to inspect the damage, they'll shoot you. But this happens all the time.

There's just that Venezuelan, I believe, maybe a racist, no, no, no, she was a beauty contestant, and they took out the car with spikes, and then they shot them both and took their money. But that's just a standard thing. It was a gang initiation. Well, yeah, the urban legend is that it's a gang initiation, when in reality it's just full on fucking robbery. Yeah, it's just robbery. And the other is a urban legend I used to hear when I was a kid was the story of a seeing

a woman on Halloween day of a machete killer chopping off the arms of a woman and a woman being found armless on the side of the street. Now, I remember that being always talked about when I was a kid. You know, that's so funny. My favorite urban legend when I was a kid, they would, I fucking heard this story so many goddamn times. Jesus of Nazareth. There was this.

It's so crazy. I remember the same story. We had one of those in Texas. Did you really? Yeah, absolutely. Fish was involved. Fish was involved. And then they took him and they nailed him to this thing, but he didn't die.

He didn't die like a demon. He didn't die. He died, but then he came back as a fucking ghost. You know what? You know what? He still walks the earth this day. Unbelievable. You got to use his silver bullet.

Oh, that's how you take him out. That's what it is. That sounds pretty perfect. Shoot him in his fucking wizard face. And whatever you do, don't be left alone in a room with Jesus because he will molest you. He will molest you. He's got those holes in his hands. He just shoved your dick through it.

Oh, my goodness. Cram it in her home room. Well, this was a fun episode. There's so many we didn't get to. The Slitmouth woman. Oh, well, we have a whole nother up. We have so many of these things. Well, we're going to be kind of continuing this in a couple of weeks when we're going

to be doing regional monsters. Yeah. So also, again, if you have any monsters, like stories of you're in your area, wherever you live, please send it to us. Love to read them on the air. And thank you. Oh, what's that, Marcus? Just can't wait to get to the donkey woman of San Antonio.

Me too. I can't wait to tell you. I'll tell you why, though. And let's all respect each other on the Facebook page as well. Respect each other. Respect each other. We're a loving community. And this is a happy place.

Let's start putting some good scary shit on there. Not for the memes. Stop with the memes. Oh, well, there's some funny ones. There are some funny ones. There are some funny ones, but you know, post stuff that like contributes to the conversation. They do. They do.

A lot of people do. Yes. And a lot of people have been posting some very sweet stuff. That's right. You know what? The Mondays are ladies days. So only ladies post on Mondays. That's what I like to say.

Well, Mondays are ladies days. Marcus, you don't like the idea? Monday lady day? Why are you yelling me? I love Monday lady day. Henry was the one that was audibly saying he didn't like it. Well, Monday is now lady day. So that's fine.

Well, let's not say that only ladies can post. Let's say that ladies are encouraged to post. Well, ladies are always encouraged to post. Encouraged to post. Encouraged to post. Encouraged to post. Extra encouraged to hers on Monday. So this is an off air fight that we're having on air, by the way.

Thank you guys so much. Yes. We'll see you next week. Hail Satan. Yes, that's right. When's our next live show? The 27th of January. Yeah, the last Sunday of the month.

Saturday. Or last Saturday. Excuse me. Last Saturday of the month. All right, everybody. Hail Satan. Hail Satan. Hail me.

And of course, hail yourselves. Oh, that's not bad. Hail Satan.