Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 126: Haunted Hollywood

Episode Date: February 17, 2015

We cover the horrible place that is Hollywood, CA, featuring tales of jilted starlet suicides, the cursed ring of Italian heartthrob Rudolph Valentino, and the fat ghost that lives with Dan Aykroyd

There's no place to escape to. This is the last part. On the left. That's when the cannibalism started. What was that? This is Greenhats. They're gonna fell their sicken out of it. He's just going BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM. Dancing with his big belly just like slapping it against her fucking back. Yeah, it was different than that part. I went to a good one. For sure. Everything's good. Alright, welcome to the short one. That's Marcus Parks and I'm Ben Kissel. Henry and I have different ideas of what a good time is.

I'm just saying I like a good old fashioned poker party where it doesn't matter what your body's like as long as you got a good attitude. And you can't not. Alright, let's talk about today's subject. That's right, buddy. She's got it. What is this? And plenty of it, brother. She's got it. Anyway, we're talking about Haunted Hollywood. Haunted Hollywood is today's subject. Entertainment has vastly changed. But this describes your sort of good time party rhythms.

Yes, yes, yes. But you would show maybe I'd be like, drop that bass! As soon as this song ends. Of course. No, this song, it's about Clara Bow, the original It Girl of Hollywood. She's dead now. She died in 1960, sir. Well, because today we're going to talk about the haunted ghost celebrities. Yes, and there's so many of them. I didn't know. Because Hollywood is a tragic place filled with broken dreams.

As we've learned, as a matter of fact, from our serious radio pilot, the more misery there is in somebody's life, the larger they'll haunt the area. Bigger ghost. Bigger ghost. Yes, yes. It's like a blanket. We'll get to bigger ghosts later. Absolutely. By one thing also, I want to briefly up top,

because we were going to maybe talk about the recent mass shooter that happened in Los Angeles. He doesn't deserve it. But he's a real piece of shit. I just want to say, we could get rid of all the guns. But I don't know if that'll help. I don't think it'll help how bloodthirsty we are as an animal. Yeah, that's the major problem. I read a little bit.

He was very upset because he got tickets given to him by a wealthy couple. So he could go see the Hunger Games premiere. He was upset about that. And then he got backstage passes to Katy Perry. But his parents didn't afford him. He got him gifted to them. So this is what I'll say. The best thing that came out of that whole scenario is that he's dead now.

I know. That's sort of what I was thinking. Well, at the very least, the one silver lining nonetheless. But none of us, the last podcast family, we are not that asshole. We make fun of that asshole. Fuck that asshole. And you know what we also do? We get laid.

Yeah. We get laid every now and again. Everybody in the last podcast, they got literally finger banging someone. Beautiful women. Love has been made through the podcast. Yes, absolutely. We have beautiful women. Powerful men.

Yeah. So yes, go on living your life. Just have confidence. And don't be a fucking pussy asshole making your YouTube diatribes. And then think you're going to make things even with a gun. Because you're not. Because you're in hell right now getting raped by Ted Bundy. And he's just like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, you didn't get laid? You didn't get laid? We could talk about it. But I mean, this is what I think to blame is the selfie. I really think it's the selfie. The selfie is the problem. As soon as you don't have a cameraman just looking at you from behind the ledge, you'll be like, you're crazy.

You're crazy. It's all the selfies. I didn't write that. That sucks. Yeah. You need as a writer. That's right. All right.

Let's go to Hollywood. She's got it. This does make you want to move though. It seems like it's what she has is the syphilis. The ricket dance. Well, Hollywood, Los Angeles in case you didn't know, Hollywood started off as an awful fucking place. As if it's like not right now.

Like if that's a piece of shit right now. And by awful place, I mean extremely violent filled with gunslingers, prostitutes, and all manner of unsavory character. Even Hollywood producers. Singer. This is something that I didn't know about in 1871 when Hollywood first gained notoriety through this massacre of Chinese immigrants. Whoa.

Back in the 1970s. This was interesting. Yeah. They called it N-word alley, right? Well, it was a mistranslation. The alley was called Calle de los Negros, which just means black alley. But in 18... They made that racist.

They took it racist. Yeah. Classic Hollywood tradition. Yeah. Yeah. Well, at least they didn't make it like the land of fallen rice after all the Chinese people. You could have made it extra racist.

I mean, that's awesome. Oh, I can't do a Hollywood. I can't do a Hollywood. I can't do a Hollywood to be a famous movie actor. Yeah. In 1871 as an Asian fellow. But he stayed like corpse. Yeah.

Children's cartoons were still racist against you. Do you know that? It's going to be hard. I should have stayed in China. Oh, but then I think what's worse in China? Yeah. We believe that bunnies can talk, but Asians are still thieves. So that's where the fantasy world we are living in right now.

So this is a narrow street full of saloons, gambling parlors, and dance halls. It was said that there were three to four men killed every weekend in this alley. And in 1871, there was a big crowd of white men. They went on a killing spree after a drunken Chinese immigrant started firing off his gun in the alley and accidentally hit a white man. People got to change how they party. I know. I mean.

If you were in a place to let open fields, sure, shoot your gun off, right? Right. You're now in Hollywood, baby. You don't need to holster that gun and celebrate by getting some tap shoes. I don't know how you celebrate in Los Angeles. I never had a good time there. But this is what they chose to do. I mean, that's what happens now.

You know, much less violence for the most part. They put on the tap shoes and they changed their gunsling in ways. They left that to the Texans. And we proudly took up that tradition. So within minutes, a bunch of really drunk white dudes just descended upon every Chinese person they could find. Eventually 19 Chinese people were killed. A grand jury indicted 156 men. It's called Let's Go Whip Some Dumpling.

That's for that action. Oh my goodness. Not acceptable. I don't like it. Come on. What's wrong with you? Only six of the 156 men that were indicted went to jail. And after a few days of cooling their heels in county, they were all let go.

You could just murder back then. Yeah, you can't because what they did was they would show them a picture of a Chinese person and until they didn't go like, man, I'm gonna kill him. They say stop doing that. They let him out of jail. So it's like what the Mormons do to cure being gay. Yeah. Yeah, but instead of a penis, they just show you a picture of an Asian fellow.

Oh, I'll be getting them. Until you can finally say like, I'm at peace with that man. They're allowed to be released. Get him out of here. So that incident, that was the incident that introduced Los Angeles at large to the rest of the world. Yeah, this is when Hollywood, and then Hollywood is always blown since then. Yes. Hollywood has always been a horrible, horrible fucking place.

But it's really true. When you walk around the streets of Hollywood, I always find it different where it's like, in New York, the homeless problem is very, it's apparent, but a lot of these guys are normal. You could talk to them, and they're just on the street, they have bad circumstances, but they still remember being normal. Well, sometimes it's a job. Sometimes it's a legitimate hustle where you just look at each other and you're like, now I can see that you have a hand, you put a sock over it, and you pretend like it's a nut.

Those are new Nikes. All right, and you're wearing an iPod. If that woman comes in here and tells me about her third-dez husband again, she can't keep a man. But in Hollywood, the streets are filled with maniacs. Like anybody who's on the street, if you're not driving in your car, because it's like in Hollywood, it's a drive-in town, if you're forced to be on the street with these people, they are dangerous, because these are people who went with very high ideals, and as far as I'm concerned, they all thought they were going to be on soap operas.

Are you gotistical homeless? Yes. Oh. No, they're just nuts. They're broken, sad, ghost people that walk the streets. But don't they just tend to buy like big Superman costumes and Batman costumes, and they're going to go shatter the dreams of children? Yeah.

I don't know. I'd argue that they were the lucky ones. They got to be superheroes. All right. So what happens? We've got 19 dead Asian people. Yeah, we've got 19 dead Asians throughout. That's just how Hollywood is introduced to the world.

Okay. So it had a breeding ground for haunting. It started off badly. Yes. It's also, you know, it's a place that shouldn't be there. You know, it's a place that like... It really shouldn't. It's a middle of the desert.

Why not? They have to truck in water like over like 300 miles and dump it into a pool until eventually the sand becomes mud. You know, it's just... The Middle East of America. It is. Yeah. All right.

So let's start off with some of the haunted places around Los Angeles. One of the most famous ones, a lot of haunted hotels in Hollywood. I feel like that's like the place where, especially in the early days of Hollywood, that's where the down and out could stay for cheap. Yeah. There was a different time back then. It was cheaper to stay in a hotel than to have a home, huh? Yeah.

Well, these hotels that are haunted, these are actually very nice hotels. Okay. Now they are. Yeah. The first one is the Knickerbocker Hotel, which is now a senior living facility. What did you say? Knickerbocker. It was a controversial word, though.

As in the New York Knickerbockers. Which means pants. Yeah, it's a pants. It's an ugly pants as well. This place was... It was originally an apartment building until 1925, became a fancy hotel. It said that Mr. Rudolph Valentino haunts the bar. We'll hear a lot about Mr. Rudolph Valentino later.

I don't trust his Latin looks. Let's make him a villain. I think he's a dreamboat. Now kill myself if he died. This is also the place where it said that there's a Marilyn Monroe mirror. And that there's supposedly a mirror where you can see Marilyn Monroe. I wish. I was every mirror.

Yeah. Am I right girls? That's right. And Ben, you were telling me the other day about a Marilyn Monroe conspiracy that you found out about. CIA killed her. Yeah. He was like blowing Kennedy and he was like, the codes are four, nine, seven, eight.

Are these the nuclear codes? We've developed a bizarre sexual fetish here, Mr. Kennedy. You can't just give the codes in order to come. How else am I supposed to do it? I mean, the nuclear bomb and a man's balls are very attached to their ego. So I suppose that's true. But pretty much the CIA conspiracy is that the pill bottle cap was on. So there's some others.

We can get into it deeper. There's a couple of other things. Well, apparently what they saw is the corner saw that Marilyn Monroe underneath her left boob. There was a tiny puncture wound and it said that the CIA, they came in, they filled her up with some sort of chemical to kill her. She was supposed to be very happy that day too. Yeah.

Oh, so, okay. Rock solid. She was having a good day. Well, she couldn't have killed herself. She just got back from playing her all day ski balls. She was having a good day. Well, at the Knickerbocker Hotel, D.W. Griffith also died in the lobby. D.W. Griffith, he was the man that did Birth of a Nation, very famous director.

Racist? Yeah. Well, he was a very racist man. And the Knickerbocker is also very famous for being the site of the annual Harry Houdini seance. As we know from past episodes, Harry Houdini was a very big anti, I would say he was an anti-spiritualist, but he hated all of the, I guess, hoopla and the hollabaloo, the surround of the spiritualist movements of the 1800s.

He was always out to debunk him. Well, that's what got him into it though. He started as a huge believer. Yeah. And then he was just like, I want to see if it's true. Yeah, he said it was great. Oh, it's all maple. Yeah, but his wife, Bess, attempted to contact him there for how many years?

Ten years. Ten years. And they had- Harry! Harry! Come back! George wasn't going like, shh, don't tell my wife I'm here. I can't listen to her screaming anymore.

You're the founding father. Yes, I can't deal with your wife. And it's said that on the night of the last seance, that there was a huge thunderstorm that happened only over the Knickerbocker hotel. I'm sorry, I farted. Oh, Harry! But the seance never actually worked. The best said that he was never actually in contact because they had a secret message.

Yeah, I heard that. The Harry Houdini basically said to her, he's like, if I can reach you beyond the grave, I'll say something like, Skeeter's come. Really? Skeeter's come. The source. Skeeter was the name of their beloved cat. Oh, you're constantly milking it, huh?

I don't know, Harry. Very good, ejaculating the cat. So another Knickerbocker tragedy was Frances Farmer, who you may have heard of before. She was played by Jessica Lange in a 1982 film. Her all-to-brief career electrified Hollywood in the 30s and 40s. She was easy to electrify Hollywood back in the day. You just had to go like, well, I'll be wearing a hat. And then she was like, oh, that's a girl with quite a amount of monty.

Yeah, you know how easy it was? She electrified Hollywood with a movie called Too Many Parents. She had too many parents. She woke up, she had six parents. And she had to systematically torture and kill the other four extra parents. They're all just the same, aren't they? Home alone, no parents. And then, of course, too many parents.

I want to see the three parents. That's a fun movie. So by the time she was 27, her personal life started falling apart. She had a failed marriage, a string of disastrous relationships. She turned to alcohol, started taking amphetamines, possibly some benes. Did you date this girl? No, no, I wasn't alive then, supposedly. In 1943, she was in a movie called No Escape,

her drinking and erratic behavior started causing problems on the set. I need more makeup. I need more hot dogs. No, Ms. Farmer, please, please, we need you to film today. I won't film unless you bring me a turquoise elephant. It happens. So with the police, she got into a fight, she was arrested at the Knickerbocker Hotel. When the police arrived, she was taken from her room, half naked. In the morning, the court placed her under the care of a psychiatrist,

said that she was manic, depressive, and the following day, she was sent to the Screen Actors Sanitarium in La Crescent. Well, apparently, she's got the heebie-jeebies. She's also got the hullabaloo's. I mean, but you know, more like history repeating, this is exactly what happened to Amanda Bynes. Like, almost to a T. I mean, it gets a lot worse. I know. Medical technology wasn't quite where it is now.

I tell you what's wrong with it. Every time we try to play a brand new Charlie Day hit of this entry for her, she doesn't tap at all. So she was in an insane asylum for the next seven years. They gave her insulin treatments that caused her to go into shock. Random bullshit. She wasn't diabetic. She was fine. They're like, if I let her sugar pack it at her, I don't know why. Maybe it'll do something.

That would have been nice. So of course, from the insulin treatment, she got intense brain damage. Couldn't concentrate. Couldn't remember her lines. She's thought, all right. They made her diabetic. Yeah, they fucked her up pretty good. So she figures, I have to get out of here. She escapes from the insane asylum.

Gets recaptured a couple months later. So she was still making movies well in the Looney Bin. No, I mean, well, she was wanting to make more movies. She was like, my saw's going to rise again. You listen, the world's going to know Francis Farmer. Yeah, you got to reject her with something. She disappeared from set and so was being like, hey, isn't that a stall it up in that tree over there?

And she was like, I'm a bird. I'm a bird and no one will tell me any difference. She's a good actress. Good actress. They gave her electroshock treatments and ice baths upon her return. The ice bath was a pretty big treatment. Everybody, yeah. I do ice baths every summer. I mean, I do ice baths every summer.

And it always calms me down. Yes. You're sweating profusely, though. Only NFL athletes and Henry Zabrowski need ice baths. It's because I run hot. But you don't run at all. Ah, kissles. Ah.

I got to put you one of my pictures, kissle. That kind of razor sharp wit. Do you think you'll be able to handle the pressure on Hollywood? I think I will love booze. Oh, he's too big for film. We're going to have to put him on stage next to a giraffe or something. Call him his horse. It's all too true. It's all too sad.

It's too sad and too true. Take it easy, Henry. So she was released in May of 1945, but she was hospitalized again for five years. This time, the stay in the hospital is even worse. The criminals, patients, mentally retarded people.

Yeah, those are the worst. They were all housed together. You know, they're Francis Farmer's beautiful. And they're like, she's like, these oompa loompas are touching and smearing my dress. The orderlies would come in. They'd throw the meals on the floor

for everyone to fight over. You know what, man? If you want to eat, you should be willing to go get it. I just feel like we were, you know, just one, you know, high-profile director away from walking into that institution and putting on one of the greatest performances

that Hollywood has ever seen. Francis Farmer in Oh, there's a corn cob stuck in the corner, but it's all covered in dust. It's gonna be a hit in the center, you'll see. It'll be huge. I'd go see that in an heartbeat. No, no, mister. No, no, this director

is not here to direct a film. He's coming into the sanitary. Oh, he's crazy. Very good. So Francis, things get even worse for her on this next day. She was subjected to electroshock treatments. They started pouring her out to soldiers in a local military base. What else are you gonna do with your criminally insane?

Well, rape them and abuse them. That's what the hospital orderlies did over and over again. And people complain about Obamacare. But what was her crime again? She was just acting up. She was one of those hysterical ladies.

She was pulling a Miley Cyrus. What actually used to do back in the day in the 40s, this is what we would have done to Miley Cyrus or Amanda Bytes. Yeah, back in the day, you go to these loony bins and nowadays you act up like Sean Young did trying to get Catwoman, and then you just put in Ace Ventura. Yeah, they put you into it.

It's different. No, it's like, yeah, and this time they would like, you know, and this was just 50 years earlier from this time they would have removed her uterus, put her in an orgasm machine, and then given her opium until she died in her sleep. I don't think... It kind of sounds awesome.

I mean, all right. And this note, in these days in 1947, they just give you a lobotomy. They lobotomize her. They freed her from the hospital. And get into that, by the way. I don't think people really understand how disgusting a lobotomy is. A lobotomy, it's a three-part process.

Because they stick that needle in your eye and they snap the little Hoosy-Doo that makes you all angry in the center of your brain. Yeah, the frontal cortex. What they do is they do two needles. The needles go inside the eye socket, right on the corner near the bridge of your nose. They put

a big needle in there and it's literally a fucking hammer and chisel. Truly, that's it. Like they're carving the ten commandments. Yeah. And you hear the ding ding and you hear my question is, can you not be a starlet anymore after that? I think that hurts.

That's not good. Yeah, you can't be a starlet anymore. And they do that. Oh, no, no, she's been lobotomized. So she's a character actress. Excellent. She can play mothers and aunts. She's still around. There's the ads. That's a bad time in 50s Hollywood. I've been demoted to

mothers and aunts. And so they lobotomize her. It's tink-tink in both eyes and she dies the age of 57, penniless, alone and broken. All right. Another Hollywood skid mark. But now she is truly,

but now she is haunting the hotel. And she haunts the Nickerbocker hotel to this day, the original site where everything started to go down the tubes. Bring me my hot dogs. Bring me my turquoise elephants. There was probably like a mirror ghost-taunting war between her and Marilyn.

And then it was like, you know, Marilyn's going to get it. Everyone wants to see Marilyn in the mirror. So you mean to say I'm second choice, even in the afterlife? Your nose is bleeding. Yeah, you look... Oh, it's from the lobotomy. You look like one of the 13 ghosts from the movie 13 ghosts. Oh, I love that picture. You're scary.

Yeah, you're terrifying. Another haunted hotel is the Roosevelt Hotel. Staff, they frequently hear complaints about loud talking in nearby rooms. Rooms and corridors that proved to be empty upon investigation. Phones lifted from

receivers. Lights turned on and empty locked rooms. There was a maid that was inexplicably pushed into a supply closet. And it turned out it was just Arnold Schwarzenegger. Oh, was that him doing that? Into the closet. Into the closet. I like how your butt is like

a pile of beans and rice. Yeah, when Arnold dies, wherever he dies, that place is going to smell like coconut oil forever. There was a typewriter that began typing in the middle of the night in an empty locked office. There's a man in a white suit who was seen by three different people on two different days

who walked through a door and vanished. There were extra bedspreads that were hung on a rod in the basement that began moving on their own. There was a little girl that was seen playing in the lobby and then vanished before the eyes of a startled staff member. Ooh, very cool stuff.

But I will say, when I was staying in Glendale, there would be many times, it may have been the amount of weed I was smoking while I was there, but I will say in Los Angeles, more times than not, I do feel like someone's looking at me. I do feel that feeling, like where I was in Glendale,

it was very similar to David Lynch, there was this long weird hallway outside next to this hedge, and every time I went outside I felt like I was being stared at. And then it also turned out there were many Armenian family people that would just kind of sleep on their balconies.

So they were scared as well. It could have been that. That's my favorite kind of vibe though, slightly haunted. I feel like it's the most fun. And LA's got that vibe. Definitely. Another haunted place, the infamous Man's Chinese Theater. Oh yeah, I'm running behind this.

You were there, Henry. I've been there. Oh yeah, and you got all the Spider-Man out front, and Elmo out front, and every one of them is willing to pickpocket you, if they just had extra digits on their gloves. That's the problem, it's all mitten gloves, and it's hard to pickpocket when you have mitten gloves. So in 1982,

an actor named Victor Killian, who, by the way, is best known as the Fernwood Flasher on Mary Hartman. Mary Hartman. Never heard of it. Where did you get this? You get this book from like a 1992 like Stories of the Stones. The Fernwood Flasher.

I got a lot of this stuff from PrairieGhost.com, which has a lot of really great ghost stuff on it. I love PrairieGhost.com, which has it all. The entire website was written like half paranormal, half blind items. That's great. Yeah, so it's like

you'll never guess which star was seen cunnoodling along the avenue the other night with an eye coming out of you. It was Elizabeth Taylor! It was goddamn Elizabeth Taylor! So the authorities believe that this man, Victor Killian,

and a stranger that he had struck a conversation with at the bar, never do that. If Jeffrey Dahmer taught us anything, never do that. I mean, he's the Fernwood Flasher from what was the name of the show? Mary Hartman. Tell me, are you Victor Killian as the Fernwood Flasher

from Mary Hartman? Mary Hartman? Yes, yes I am. Are you a fan of mine? No, no, it's on your name tag right there. Oh yes, I forgot to wear this name that actor, team name tag everywhere so I could free drinks. Why yes, I am

a part of Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman. I'm a close friend of Joan Darling and Jim Drake. Not Jim Drake! His character didn't have a name. You can't be Hollywood lore if your character doesn't have a name. Most well known as policeman number four in the policeman's

ball murder spree. Oh wow. Oh yes, starring Luis Lassa, Greg Bolavi, Dottie Goodman, and Mary Kay Place. And also, all of them are secret Jews. And featuring Graham Jarvis as Charlie

Baby Boy Haggers. Oh, Baby Boy. Yes, yes, he's 52 years old but he is born and stays looking like an infant. Well, if any of our listeners have seen any of these movies, please write on the page and let us know how they are. This is a TV show. Oh, this is a TV show. It was a soap opera

from 76 to 77. And by the way, this is a big long run. Yeah, it was an old season arc with the Fernwood flasher. Who could find him and what not? It's got, how Martin Moll was in it. So there's some, yeah, there's a couple of people in it. And by the way, Victor Killian, he was revealed to be

the Fernwood flasher, but his actual character's name was Grandpa Raymond Larkin. Uh, Grandpa was the flasher. So he was murdered? He was brutally murdered, beaten to death in his apartment. That's why you don't lead with

your credits. That's why you don't do that in conversation in Hollywood. So his apartment, it was only a block away. His killer was never caught and lower hazard that the ghost of Victor Killian can be seen walking the route from Man's Chinese Theater. Asking people for money for his autograph.

Is he flashing stuff like that? No, no, no, no. Did he ghost flash? No. Not that I know of. Well, I mean, we got a little something close later on. That's a little close to flashing. Yeah, we got something going on there. Next haunted place that we have, the infamous Hollywood

sign. I love this one. Because Hollywood used to be called Hollywood land. And then an earthquake destroyed the original sign. Is that right? Interesting fact. Did not know that. It fucked up the land and they started to fall into disrepair. It's

an ugly sign when you see it in real life. Yeah, it is. In the 70's they brought it back. It's cool. It's cool to see. Well, the Hollywood sign got its first taste of death on a dark night in September 1932. It was on this night that Lillian Millicent peg int whistle.

That's a big old name there, huh? Not a Hollywood name. Millicent? No, Millicent sounds bad. I don't, I don't understand. I named Lillian Millicent int whistle, but you can call me pay. I'll be an actress you can tell from a knobbly knees in the blonde short bar.

Well, she climbed the slopes of Mount Lee with the glowing sign as her final destination. When she arrived, she scaled the heights of the giant letter H and jumped. I'll see you on the afterlife, Hollywood. Yep. A body plunged down the side of the hill and broke on the ground below.

Man, it's tough to feel bad for a peg. You know? I feel bad for pegs. How's peg doing? Yeah, she jumped off the Hollywood side. She's big. I just feel like anytime you ask how pegs do it, she's like, well, she's almost a sassages. Yeah. She was a failed actress, just couldn't catch

a break. She was the type of girl that kept getting bit part after bit part. But she was working. She was working. If she knew how lucky she was in these days, she would have been now people are begging for bit part. That's right. Can't get enough bit part. I'm telling you, just one, well, yeah, one movie after another just kept falling through.

She couldn't take it anymore. On that night she told her Uncle Harold that she was going for a walk. Peg scratched her way up to the slope to the Hollywood sign. Folded her coat neatly. Oh. Put it down with her purse. And the next day a woman hiker in Griffith

Park discovered the purse. I think that's technically Hollywood slang for prostitute. A woman hiker? Yeah. The woman hiker opened the purse, discovered a suicide note inside and said, Of course. I am afraid I am a coward.

I am sorry for everything. Did she sound like Lyndon Johnson? I had done this a long time ago. It would have saved a lot of pain. P. E. P. E. This is back in the days when everyone signed off on a letter with their initials.

H. Longerman. Very romantic. I don't like it. Because it would have been longer than her letter if she wrote like signed Lelyon Melisand Peg. I don't like a romantic suicide. I feel like it's overrated, you know? Folding up the jacket, all that.

Go out and look at Blazor Glory, you know? Well, you know, I honestly... I don't know, we did have a guy go out in a Blazor Glory on Saturday. No, that wasn't a suicide. That was a murder suicide. It was a free-killing suicide for Christ's sake. I know what you mean when you say Blazor Glory. To me, that means grabbing the controls away

from an airline pilot and being like, Everybody's coming with me, fuckers! What I mean by Blazor Glory is waiting until you're 73 and cancer gets you. You know? The suicide is needless. No, I just, yeah, I'm going to say let's go Mets and jump in front of a train.

There you go! The train is the biggest convenience. So the hiker, she put the note back into the purse and in the early morning hours, took the purse over to the Hollywood police station and just kind of threw all of it on the... She didn't care at all about this.

Didn't care, and two days later, authorities found the body of Peggamp Whistle. And here's the ultimate irony. Uncle Harold was sifting through the afternoon mail and he discovered a letter that had been mailed to Pegg the day before she jumped to her death. The letter was from the Beverly Hills Playhouse

and it had been written to offer Pegg the lead role in their next production. But the promise is that the name of that play was supposed to be the fattest, ugliest pirate woman. Yeah, but she was still going to be the lead. Check your mail! Check your mail before you kill yourself.

You know, just give yourself one last little, like, maybe potential reason to live. Get over now when something's going to come down the pike. Never know! That dude you want to meet could be on the next bus in from Houston. That lady you want to meet could be in on for the next bus from Santa Clara, New Mexico.

It's possible. And... I just... I just say this... So this Hollywood thing has got into my brain. I was thinking about killing myself, but then there's one bus coming all the way from the south.

I need some plates to call home, pretty woman. He's a bit of a border, but he's half border, half gentleman collar. So here's how it even it gets even better, the part that she was supposed to play.

The beautiful young woman commits suicide in the final act. But this was not the end of Pegg in Whistle in Hollywood. Yeah, it was, yeah. She's dead. She's broken. So in the years following her suicide, people reported a woman

in 1930s era clothing abruptly vanishing when they approached her. She said to be very attractive, blonde, seems very sad indeed. It says that some people can still smell the pungent aroma of gardenia perfume,

which was said to be Pegg in Whistle. That is just a prostitute. That is a prostitute running away because she thinks well, yeah, she's got steampunk prostitutes. Yeah. Up in the Hollywood Hills, when I was with Nick Turner, we went hiking. We're too large

at a vegetables hiking. It was the beginning of 80s comedy. Yeah. Well, I think in the 80s comedy, one is supposed to be thin and attractive. Yes, yes, yes, yes. That's why we doubled the funny. Have no skinnies. And so we went off the side to smoke some weed

off the side of the trail, and as we were coming over, we bumped over a bush, didn't clear it, he sprayed in his ankle. So the forest ranger had to come get us and put him in the back of a pickup, and we drove the pickup down to the side of Griffith Park, right? So you two fat asses

who went for a little ride, went for a walk. In the back of a ranger's pickup truck. But you guys, we were like, worry, go get some exercise today. Yes. We were brought back in a hospital bed. But we went out and I was like talking to that park ranger, and I was like, so is anything weird happening out here?

And it's like, we see constant, like, satanic activities, it's like, weird little ritualistic, like, altars built, and like, trying to get this woman back. No, they were just saying, just in terms of the Hollywood Hills, right by the Hollywood sign,

there was a lot of strange activity that happens there to this day, where there was a Russian mob hit, like the string of hits. They basically found a severed head with two severed hands put underneath the head, like it was the head's little feet. Oh, that's kind of adorable. It's like one of those little things that have

stickers on the bottom of them. Yeah, there was a lot of that. There was this weird, it was like three or four of those combos that they found. It's like, they always find body parts up there, because that's where gangsters go to kill people and leave them out in the desert for animals to eat them. Weird. Another haunted place, we got Paramount Studios.

This is a pretty creepy little tale. Well, it's actually, because Paramount Studios is directly across from the Hollywood Memorial, which is a great, if you're in Hollywood ever, that cemetery is fucking awesome. Have you been? Yeah, it's great. What tombs did you visit?

Orson Walsh's tomb is huge. It is big, huh? It would be ironic if it was small. It's a big black, it's awesome. Nice. Is he in there? No. What they did to him is they took his body when he died, and they just dragged it out in the street

and they lunged a bunch of fucking orphans and they cut it up with a fucking knife and then pigeons came and ate it. That's what they did to the body. Yeah, he wasn't buried in a coffin. That's what they did to one of the most amazing film watch whores. That's what they do to them. Well, now we know.

That's why DW Griffith was unceremoniously shot in the fucking lobby of the Knickerbocker. Oh. Good pronunciation. Yeah, that's right. I make sure to enunciate that word. Oh, yeah. Fairmont Studios, this is a creepy little

tale. The story goes that there was an executive who had rented out one of the rooms up there, said he went into the bathroom and was washing his hands in the sink, looked in the mirror, and his eyes were glowing red. So he runs over to his secretary and says, look at my eyes. What's going on? She said that the eyes were...

How coped up do you sound? Yeah, exactly. Look at my fucking eyes. Are my eyes glowing red? Are my eyes fucking glowing red? You seem angry and I'm scared, so I guess, yeah? And so the secretary says, absolutely. She gets frightened, she screams, she runs out of the room. The executive said he tried

to get up off the chair, but hands were pressing down onto his shoulders, and he finally managed to escape whatever demonic possession was there. Weed! He was stoned! And a lot of people say that, yes, the Hollywood Memorial Cemetery is right there next to

Paramount, which causes a lot of hauntings over into the Paramount Studios. All of the places there. They're holding people down on couches. I don't think he is. He probably sent his assistant to do it. But, you know, who's also buried in the Hollywood Memorial Cemetery,

the wandering ghost of Hollywood, Rudolph Valentino. Valentino. No, this is because he was a bit of a man whore. Just a little bit, of course, with the name like, his given name was Rodolfo Rolfán Zorafiel Pierre Vielbert de Guigliami de Valentino

de Angolaia. Well, if you are a woman, I would say go by Peg. But as a man, we'll go with Rudolph. Rudolph Valentino. In just seven years until his untimely death in 1931, he appeared in 14 major films. This is good.

This is a good amount of work. Two a year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was a hard throb. Many of his early roles were minor parts, mainly cast as Henry said earlier, the villain, thanks to his Latino looks. But this is again going, we have Dexter out there right now. Ladies love a good villainous character.

What? Oh, I was going to say some Latin. I was like, I don't think he's Latin. No Dexter is not, but he's evil tactic. I mean, he kills people. May as well be Latin. Take it easy. What's wrong with you tonight? But despite Rudolph Valentino's adoration by the female

public, got more than a share of abuse from newspapers and magazine columnists at the time, some of them hinted that the quote-unquote sensitive actor was a homosexual. I mean, he dressed himself up like a lay low windward or whatever, like he wanted to make up

an actress's name. Yeah, like a real lay low windward. He did prefer to wear heavy perfumes, mink coats and other oddities. Well, it just sounds like he wants to relax. I mean, Mike Tyson wears similar clothes. Yeah, I wear dresses. Yeah, he challenged one man to a fight.

One newspaper columnist said, I'm going to challenge you to a fight, Mr. Come over here from Boston and say that to my face over here in Hollywood. I'll give you a taste of all Valentino. In the meantime, it's my left hand. I call my left hand Valentino. I call my first hand spaghetti.

You want some Valentino or some spaghetti? The spaghetti, right. Look out for it. And his virility was further questioned when it became known that both of the women that he married were lesbians. Which, by the way, that's not, that's a masculine thing to do.

Marry lesbians? Get the lesbians. It is said that his marriages were never consummated. Oh, they're just not talking. But I love it. This is also the time in Hollywood where it's like, when you read about it, it's so strange because everyone was living like secret lives. But it was also a place, it was

a place where because everyone was leading a secret life, it was like, okay, you could go and you could live and openly in secret. Well, there was respect for privacy. Yes. You know, it was a different time. Well, it was also because back in these days, these guys were contract, they were contract players for

studios. So they were like, they were employees of studios. It's like now where you're essentially an actor as a freelancer who's signed on. Sure. Where it's like, this time it's like, you're an employee. So if you were to You're hurting the bottom line. Yeah. If you fuck things up, you fuck things up for the company. Yeah. So the company is going to do

anything it takes to like hide anything that would affect your fucking box office numbers. But I like this Valentino guy just living life by his own rules. No, he's having a great time. He's a regular, he's as masculine as a Liberace. I'll tell you one thing, Kevin Spacey would have liked to live back then. You know, now everyone's like, come out, Kevin, come out.

But back in the day, there's like, stay in, stay in. He's like, I love it here. You know, if you're a more quiet person and you like an isolated life and you happen to be gay, but you don't want to be like the spokesperson for an entire group of individuals coming out as a huge pain in the ass. Yeah. And they had Brian Singer parties every weekend

and it was fine. Yeah. Well, Valentino, he was in fact a tough guy. He said on his death bed, he actually died of appendicitis. I mean, he died of the, he died of the old the cancer there that took what's the lead singer of

Queen. They didn't have AIDS back then. Well, they might have. This is back when condoms were made out of aluminum foil. Oh, I see. He was fighting on his death bed and he stayed stoically fighting the intense pain and he said, and now do I act like a

pink powder puff? No, no, Mr. Valentino. No, no, please, though, if you could stop playing the flute for a second, we could give you your medication. That'd be great. And at the news of Valentino's death, two women attempted suicide in front of the hospital and

London, a girl took poison before his inscribed photograph. Unbelievable. An elevator boy at the Ritz in Paris was discovered dead on his bed, which was covered in photos of Valentino. I mean, this really was the golden age of Hollywood. Nowadays, if Bieber dies, there's going to be a bunch of chicks making YouTube videos

and crying. There's going to be a leave, Britney alone situation. There'll be a couple of like Bieber suicides. Do you think a Bieber holocaust will go? People still commit suicide for their movie stars. Well, Rudolph Valentino, he was the very first celebrity, big celebrity death. And the whites at the time must have hated the fact

he was Latin. Oh, no, no. He was Italian. Yeah, he just looked Latin. Oh, I see. But of course, the whites didn't have too high of an opinion of the Italians, either. Yeah. Well, it's because they're shifty. They're shifty and all they try to give us is carbs. Yeah, the Atkins Diet.

Very anti-Italian. So Rudolph Valentino, it said that his misfortune comes from, and I love these things, a haunted object. Yes, because this is the thing, because he bought this ring. A cursed ring. A cursed ring, which the guy who basically said,

hey, don't buy this ring. Apparently it's cursed. And he's just like, I am Valentino. Wow, no curse can affect Valentino. Definitely. Yeah. So he wore the ring in his next film, the young Raja, which turned out to be a huge flop. He was just starting to, he was starting to get his career started

at this point, but the movie was so bad they kept it off the screen for two years. He decides he's going to put the ring away until he, and then he went to New York. He filmed Son of the Sheik, another Arabic film. Yes. And but he decided after Son of the

Sheik, after the movie went big, after it was a hit, he decided, I'm going to put on the ring. I really love this ring. So Son of the Sheik did well. Son of the Sheik was a huge hit. But then the Raja one didn't do well. The young Raja did not do well. Son of the Sheik that also stored Polly Shore, right? Oh, I loved it.

Yes. So while wearing the ring, he suffered from acute appendicitis and within two weeks, he was dead. A short time later, a woman named Paula Negri was asked to choose a memento from among Valentino's things not knowing the strange tales behind it.

I want the silver ring because I deserve it. That's mine. Almost immediately, her health failed and an unknown ailment almost ended her career. A year later, while still recuperating from the odd sickness, she met a man named Russ Colombo who she said was

not like Russ Colombo. Immediately, my best friend. My dick fell off. Oh, well, you're a strange one. I stuck in some ice and it got brown and it fell off. Well, when I saw your OkCupid profile, I thought you were going to be different. Yeah, you know what? Mine too.

It really comes off as something pretty spectacular. Yeah, Russ Colombo. And then it's all bad. So how was the date with Russ? Russ. That's go great. Well, it was said that Russ was a double for Rudy Valentino, as

his friends call him. And so Paula Negri gave him the ring, said from one Valentino to another. And a few days after receiving the ring, of course, Russ Colombo was killed in a mysterious shooting accident. That's also the problem is at the time they had the very rare Hollywood hairstyle

of the target. It's like they just cut a target into the back of your head. That's a problem. Oh, we remember that. That's a joke haircut, though. It is. Yeah. It's the old walk fast. Yeah. So from Russ Colombo, the ring moved to his best friend, Joe Casino. These are all fake names.

Yeah, Russ Colombo, Valentino, Casino, Paula Negri. This is just back because everyone's real name was like, my name was Herbert Winklebottom. And so I chanted to Joe Casino because I was trying to get into the pictures. Oh, I see. But sometimes they do stick with,

you know, Francis Farmer. Francis Farmer is good and whistled. I mean, that's. But Entwistle is a good last name. Is it? I don't know if you're an author. Yeah, at least it's not chart whistle. Well, chart whistle is in the best of chart whistle.

Of course. Chart whistle is always going to be worse than peg and whistle. So Casino places the ring under glass and then after a while, he can't fucking resist the temptation to wear the ring. His last name's Casino. You know he's a gambler. Oh, yeah. And he gambled wrong for

he put the ring on and a week later he was run over by a truck and killed. Then I mean, this is like Lord of the Rings here. It was so hard with these. At that time trucks only traveled at like 15 miles per hour. Yeah, I really feel like we're scapegoating the ring here for just a dangerous society.

You know, everyone just seems to be getting shot and ran over. I don't think it's the rings fault. Well, after Joe Casino, the ring went over to his brother, Dell Casino and Dell, he didn't have the Casino in Spanish and he didn't have any problems with it,

but a burglar who broke in and stole the ring. That burglar was shot and killed by the police. Because he was a burglar. Yes. All right. But he also had a bad luck ring.

And I love this. The other dude, because it was this huge ring and then the leader of the bank robber at his trial, Han stated his name was Alfred Han. He said what was in that bank fault, apart from the money, I would have picked myself and all the bank. Oh, yeah, definitely.

So the ring was absolutely cursed. And to this day, it disappeared in the 1960s and we have no idea where it went. Magic Johnson got it. That's what I think happened. He used that ring to curse AIDS out of his body.

So Valentino was kind of like the what's his name of his day. He was like the I'm not Al Pacino, but the other Spanish. De Niro. Antonio Banderas. The Antonio Banderas of his day. Absolutely. Yeah. Banderas hasn't been

cursed one damn bit. Yeah, maybe he's got the ring under glass somewhere. Yeah. And of course, Valentino, to wrap up on him a little bit, he has been seen in many places around Hollywood. The Falcons layer was what he called his home. Oh.

So he was seen there. He's got an affinity for horses. Why did they think he was gay? I don't know. The Falcons layer. He's just like, I just like it because the Falcon goes Oh. Oh. Valentino, you're trying to charm these women.

And I'm sure they loved it. They obviously did. Another old timey ghost star, Lon Cheney. Mr. Cheney. Lon Cheney from he was the wolf man. And of course, he was also the Phantom of the Opera and studio

or stage 28 on the universal lot was built specifically for Phantom of the Opera. And it said stage 28, you can see a man with a black cape running on the catwalk. Ooh, is it the Fernwood Flasher? No, it's the Phantom of the Opera.

No, honestly, I love that idea. I'd love to see Lon Cheney's fucking ghost. Oh, definitely. Absolutely, you should be a ghost. That's awesome that he's a fucking ghost. Absolutely. If anyone should be a ghost, it should be Lon Cheney.

Because I would love to just pop it and be like, goodbye. Trying to eat a bunch of fucking pepperoni pizza in the lunch room. The next ghost takes a bite of pizza. Can you tell? Yeah, he would come out of the pizza. And be like, oh, pizza

is my favorite. Well, I got a ghost who loved pizza. Yeah. John Belushi. Definitely loved pizza. Yeah, John Belushi absolutely loved pizza. And this is an odd haunting when you really see comedian hauntings.

No, because I mean, even though comedians mostly live lives of sadness and tragedy. Oh, yeah. I mean, the comedian is sort of, if you're looking at a shelf of food, the comedian is the canned ravioli. You know, people like it on occasion, but for the most part

they say too much, too much, and I feel sick. What? Comedians are not fun to hang out with in reality because they're sad and desperate. You have to handle them and you get all messy when you do. So, the most famous story that I found, or at least the best story that I found is that there was a woman and her family

who had temporarily moved into the Chateau Marmont Hotel in Hollywood. Marmont. Marmont? Yeah, that's the Chateau Marmont. But we're doing it with the parks. Beverly, you want to hang on over to the Chateau Marmont? I hear they got all sorts of

beds and shit. It's better than staying out in the rain, I guess. I put it in there. Why they put it in on there? It's French. Chateau. But, now, it's the Marmont.

All right? It's the Marmont. Well, the parks are going to Hollywood. So, y'all got any sort of shit in buckets in here where you got them in the new fangled bathrooms. So, they ended up this family, the Chateau Marmont, of course, was where John Belushi died

after doing spray balls. I'm not going to get into the wood panel on my car. I will freak out. I just want to let you know I will freak out. We didn't drive to Los Angeles in a fucking wood paneled station wagon. We drove in our diesel four-door wide Ford.

Very nice. We had a little camper on the back so the kids can hang out and we can fucking outside there, read my mad magazine. This is your mother and I's honeymoon. We're staying in the Chateau Marmont. All right? You stay in the car, right? So, you can't hear none of our fiddling in the night.

So, anyway, if you're fucking done during this time when the family stayed there late at night, they hear their young son who was about two alone in his room giggling and laughing to himself. They thought he was a very

outgoing child, playful by nature. This was sort of his thing. So, when they finally asked him what he was laughing at, the kid said, the funny man. Sure, yeah, that's not fucking frightening. That's the most terrifying thing a kid could be laughing at. So, one night, the woman was talking to her friend about it and she said,

hey, John Belushi died at the Chateau Marmont. At the Chateau Marmont? At the Chateau Marmont, I heard he went there because there was a tobacco spitting contest. Isn't that something? Anyway, a friend of hers did a quick online search,

asked her if they were staying in bungalow number three. She said, yes, and apparently that was the bungalow that John Belushi had died in. Doesn't stop there. A friend of the boy's mother visited the bungalow while they were staying there. It was for a birthday party for the boy.

While it was a bit creepy, nothing really out of the ordinary happened until later, after a time, the boy started complaining that he wasn't sleeping well because the funny man would wake him up at night and want to play with him. Now, honey, can you believe it now for Marcus' birthday?

We're going to go to the Chateau Marmont and we're going to bungalow number three. And you know who died there? That big film star from that movie, 1941. What? 1941. That's my favorite comedy. Now you're going too far.

Now you're going too far. You know, I'm sick of having this John Belushi around because I'm sick of Greeks. Yeah, I always think of Slushy when I think of Belushi. You're going too far. We're all races against Greeks. Races against some, but not Greeks. We did it in character.

So the mother of the child, she was sitting in bed one night, she was looking at a book about the Chateau Marmont. Not reading a damn word in it. What is this? Where's the talking pictures? Looking at the pictures. So the boy, he sees a picture

of John Belushi and he points at it and he says, look, mama, that's the funny man. Uh-oh. Also, Slammer and the Ghostbusters is also based off of John Belushi. Really? Yes. Didn't I know that? Yes, because the, um, the mold that they used to made,

it was basically there was rotten mold in it, so it stank. So they called it Onion Head. And for a while they called it Onion Head and they were like, that's the ghost of John Belushi. And they would call it John after a while. So he died in memorial. It was a piece of mold that smelled like onion. Yes.

Dan Ackroyd is weird. Just take, and we can tell Dan Ackroyd is weird. Oh, right. Let's move on to Mr. Ackroyd. We can move on to Mr. Ackroyd. He says that his home is haunted by the ghost of Mama Cass. Because he owns the house that she, she used to own that house, right? Yeah.

Yeah, Mama Cass, the, uh, of the Mama's and the Papa's. Uh, wonderful lady. Yeah. Big lady. Massive woman. Ackroyd said the ghost even crawled into bed with him. He said, I rolled over and just nuzzled up to whatever it was and went back to sleep.

The ghost also turns on the Stairmaster. I guess. I think this is a joke, yeah. And moves jewelry across the dresser. He said, I'm sure it's Mama Cass. Because you get the feeling it's a big ghost. It's a big old ghost. Sheisesm is still going on in the afterlife.

It's not right. Mama Cass was a hot chick, though. A hot piece of ass. And, uh, really, got that Moo Moo. She was wearing that Moo Moo. She made it popular. Yeah. Yeah, because at the time, you know, it's just hard to find pants. I understand. I want to wear, I want to wear that. I know you did in college. I did.

Yeah. And I was cool then. Well. Another woman that haunts Hollywood is Lucille Ball. Uh-oh. People who live in her old home on Roxbury Drive said that they've heard loud voices in the attic. Furniture being rearranged.

Unexplained broken windows. She's also set to have haunted the building that served as Desi Lu's studios on the Paramount lot. Also Paramount. Also Paramount. Where Night Watchman have reported floor who gives off a perfumed scent I bet I'd bet that yeah especially when someone is so important to Hollywood she was there like these big names when they show up as ghosts I just feel like they're so connected to what they did

there I imagine it's very hard I think about all time it's just like I'm happy with my life I would be very upset to die and I'm certain that you would if there is such a thing as an afterlife if I am happy in my career and I die I'm gonna want to come back yeah all name a piece of mold after you thank you yeah that's the old stinking stump rub my fucking wet butt on this stump I call it that's where Henry's ghost is I don't know if it is I just call it that yeah yeah and we're gonna end not in Hollywood California no but in Hollywood Florida with the ghost of miss Anna Nicole Smith I will say

Anna Nicole Smith was like was my thing growing up yeah I made me a man yeah oh totally of course she was skyscraper is that the movie she did enough to get a copy of the playboy shoes and when she was in the bathtub with all black background she's great and she was stunning and she was a guest model and I loved I loved her big bosoms yeah yeah I like I like a strong bodied woman and she was strong sort of a Kate Upton of the time mm-hmm so can't wait for her to die and Nicole Smith she died at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and casino in Hollywood Florida is a white trash place to go right yeah and her the parks

family goes on to Hollywood Florida now we're gonna go where all the stars are hanging out Marcus are you wearing shorts are you wearing your best shorts I won't see my knobbly knees we've never been to Florida so Anna Nicole's Anna Nicole's spirit is said to have wandered the halls of the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and some believe her ghost might be confused because after her death the hotel renovated the suite where she died and renumbered all the rooms on the floor very was not very bright in life she was on drugs yes to be fair to her I think she could have been smart but she was on so many drugs so they stupid like

yeah those downers are terrible for your brain for Anna Nicole Smith if you want to see something truly horrifying go look for a home video that she made oh horrified right we put that up on the Facebook page yeah we'll put that up on the Facebook page we almost showed it at a live show but we decided not to because it was so disturbing yeah it's really weird yeah gonna make up done by her daughter on her and yeah a lot of pills a lot of them really yeah yeah I think that's the most unattractive drug pills yeah because yeah what it does to you you just start going like here you're the princess and I'm the queen and you

just say that yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah she thought that uh she had a baby that was just a doll cool that's not sad at all not sad at all well so that's how we took a trip down ghost Lane yeah kind of excited on the Hollywood Avenue does that make sense yes yeah don't be an actor or an actress that is my advice to you well don't kill yourself until you know you didn't get the role the roast of Marcus Parks is coming up here on June 1st right here at the creek in the cave at 8 p.m. come out this next Sunday it's gonna be a wonderful time Henry will be there I'll be there and of course Marcus you

better be there I'll be there will be there I'll be lifting weights all week to get all pumped up for it that's good all right well my goose deletions and set again hail yourself and we'll talk to you guys soon go fart in a bucket and smell it don't you