Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 154: The Dark Side of Santa Claus

Episode Date: February 17, 2015

It's the dark side of our lord and savior Santa Claus, from his supposed Satanic leanings to the horrifying wonder that is Christmas in Iceland.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last talk. On the left. That's when the cannibalism started. What was that? It's been a long time. I hate Christmas. I hate Christmas.

I love this. I hate Christmas with you. Every day I ate some Christmas. I would like Christmas music if it sounded like that. I would love it. I have been alone in a Regency Suites Hotel in Atlanta. I go down every morning. Breakfast is served.

Continental breakfast from 7 to 10 in the morning. I go down. I get my raisin bran and I get two hard boiled eggs. Every morning. Every day I'm going down there. It's fucking miserable. It's 7 o'clock in the morning. I eat my raisin bran. They're just pumping the like, What is your Merry Christmas? There's one old man that was sitting down there.

The whole hotel is empty. No other human being would be staying in a Regency Suites Hotel the week before fucking Christmas. He signs a bunch of people. He dresses Satan all day. Maybe John Candy's character in plane trains and automobiles. The guy who's selling the shower curtain. But you're just an old man sitting at a table

just playing with this cup. Just like passing this cup back and forth like it's a fucking cat toy. Like his child. He never had this. God damn. And then I get up and then I go. I fucking drive to work and then get spray paint shut up my nose.

While someone's just being like, The whole world's falling apart. You still got a lot of red paint on you right now. Pretty face character. It's all in my knuckles and shit. And it also, I think it's coming out of my pores because I wore a white shirt yesterday and my armpits were all red.

So that's healthy. All right. Welcome to the show everyone. Obviously it's Christmas time and everyone's like, Oh, wonderful. Santa Claus is going to break into our house and steal all our cookies and maybe leave us a load of crap. I absolutely hate Christmas.

I am so with you and I don't want to be a bomb. But guy. But I just don't like the holiday that much. Marcus, you love it. I can tell. Look at your smile. He's got a twinkle in his eyes. He's got a holly coming out of the top of his pants. I love Christmas. It's a jolly holly time of year.

I'm going to put mistletoe right above the toilet and really confuse all my guests when they go to the bathroom. And I'll have my kiss now. You missed the mistletoe. But I will say, so yes, Christmas is a celebration of our Dark Lord and Saviors fucking ultimate enemy, right? The stinky desert wizard

known as Jesus Christ. Right. But I'd like to say that I think that we Satan has begun a long game of trying to get Christmas and I think we got it now. Do you think there was a war on Christmas and Satan's winning?

There's been a war on Christmas. Oh, okay. There's been a slow absorption of Christmas by our Satanic master. And I mean, because who gives a shit about Jesus Christ? Nobody. It's his presence. It's what am I getting, right? That's all Christmas is.

It brings out the worst in everybody. It makes everyone a snarling fucking beast. Oh, that's right. I mean, Jesus Christ was like Russell Brand. He was born into royalty. We're giving him gifts as soon as he got out of the pussy. They didn't do anything to deserve him. Frankincense, myrrh, and whatever the hell the... As soon as he showed up!

His mom slept with some dirt guy out behind a stable some horse ranger and she comes back and she Joseph's like, what are you and she's just like, oh, God did it. Oh, okay. Better believe it.

Yeah, absolutely. So today we're covering Christmas monsters. It's the true story of Christmas. The untold story. And again, if you're a Christmas traditionalist, this is going to shake some of your tradition. This is going to shake the very platform, the bedrock

of everything you've loved about Christmas. Oh, yeah. It's the dark side of Santa Claus today. And I got this first part of the episode. I got all of this information from www.av1611.org Oh, yeah. It's an organization. I would love to go to their headquarters. It's just like a random number generator

turned into a URL. I think so. This is from their pamphlet about Santa Claus. Oh, so it's a digital pamphlet? It's a digital pamphlet. They did publish it. They did publish it and hand it out and sell it in various Christian bookstores. Gregory, we're just not

getting the eyeballs on this that need to see it. Santa Claus is a pervert. We got to stop him. You know what I'm doing. I'm making a.org website. Get it done. This folklore and legends surround the mystery of St. Nicholas. And St. Nicholas has been around long before

the quote-unquote Santa Claus character that we worshiped today. One of the earliest popular legends of St. Nicholas is the rescue of three poverty-stricken girls destined for prostitution. So he was like Liam Neeson from Taken? That's right. Yeah, it sounds like he's a

pimp here as well. See, these girls were poor, didn't have the dowry for marriage, so St. Nicholas saved them from a life of shame by providing the marriage dowries of gold and they were then able to get properly married. Oh, so then they can get legally sold. That's great.

Man, that's great. I thought it was like, I've got a certain set of skills that allow me to handle men like you. And it's just Santa Claus with a fucking silence. Another man made- I like that Santa. That's my favorite Santa so far.

Another amazing miracle in the early life of St. Nicholas is the three young boys who were sadistically murdered by a wicked innkeeper who was named Pierre Huhtad, whose name loosely translates to Father Whipper, who also works at

the Ramrod Club downtown. I love going to the Ramrod Club and you get all your kinks out. You know, stressful week, go right down to the Ramrod, they'll step all over your balls. I've been on the pack train all day. I have, you know, I'm working on my office job, but you know, sweating, it's hard

out there. Well, I don't know if you should be sweating at your desk job. I would say. Maybe you have a health problem. Pressure. I'm eating a lot of salt. Just to cope with what I'm dealing with. Right. And nothing I like better than a Friday night is going on a club Ramrod. Just get my balls hurt. Oh, just whip by Father Whipper and he's

like, Attila, I smack your balls with the fries water. Oh my god. Oh, I think I feel another fly on there. Better swap it again. So the boys who were murdered by Father Whipper, their bodies were chopped up and preserved in pickle barrels

with a cannibalistic intent of feeding their flesh to unsuspecting house guests. But the amazing Saint Nicholas resurrected the boys and their mutilated bodies and Pierre has been sent as dark side in France ever since. Now he resurrected a bunch of pickled kids.

Why are we alive? Why are we alive? Well, that's the closest thing to a merman I've ever seen. I pray that I went to heaven because I was good. Please shut me back. Save him before the

pickling. That's all I'm saying. So Saint Nicholas, wonderful Christian figure. He was a bishop at one point. This is a man who would help poor children. He would help girls. He's a pedophile. He would help girls from becoming prostitutes. He would help murdered children.

But Santa Claus is in fact Saint Nicholas's dark helper who over the years has transformed into the jolly man that we know today. Let's go into the transformation. And that's why we should begin a mass every man who begins to say he's

a representative Santa Claus, whether it be at a mall whether it be at the bus station and he's got a fucking fake beard on. These men need to be dragged out on the street and beaten with tennis rackets. Maybe they're just trying to get a job so they can support their liquor habit at the mall.

The mall Santa. Messengers of Black Pete. Black Pete. In certain German children's games the Saint Nicholas figure itself is the dark helper, a devil who wants to punish children but is stopped from doing so

by Christ. Also like Liam Neeson from Take. They all want to be him. Liam Neeson he's got a place, Jesus Christ as Santa Claus, as his character from Taken in a film very soon. A Christmas story. They mentioned Black Pete, right? That's who Ralphie was trying to shoot with his BB gun.

That was Black Bart. Yeah, Black Pete was the janitor at his elementary school. Oh yeah, I remember him. White guy, right? Although they didn't call him Black. That was a much more offensive name that they called the janitor. It was the 50s. Yeah.

Janitor's offensive enough. So Black Pete he is the grandfather of our modern Santa Claus. He's known in Holland as and this 18th century version is like his ancient shamanistic ancestor horrid, fur clad,

terrifying and less than kind of children. And if you're bad he'll take you away to Spain. I've been bad. Take me to Spain, Black Pete. It's a Spain. Spain. That's what you mean, tapas? I'll take a jump on every table I see if that means I get to go to Spain. Hanging out in the cocktail

bars of Sardinia? Good God, you mean you're going to take me out of rural Iowa to go to Spain because I've been bad? I think I'll hit my mom again. So although he's portrayed as the slave helper of St. Nicholas, the two are in many villages blended into one character and this figure often

has the name Nicholas or Claus. But he still has the swarthy appearance of the dark helper. I just want to also keep saying the term swarthy and the dark helper and Black Pete. There is some racist overtones to this character.

Well, I don't know because this character has been around long before these people, even these European people, Europeans, these Europeans ever encountered a single Black person. Politically correct, Henry Zabrowski. Let's not use that character too much.

So Black Pete like Santa, he has a coat of hair, disheveled beard, a bag and ashes on his face which is why he was called Black Pete for it was not St. Nicholas who originally came down the chimney. It was Black Peter

who was called the dark one because he was normally covered in soot and ashes from the chimney travels. Because he was his Santa, I mean again he's Santa's slave, who's chained to the thing. He's forced to give the presents to the children. That's the idea. Santa ate himself

out of the chimney duty because he didn't want to do it anymore. So on the eve of December 6th the myth said that the bearded white haired old saint quote unquote saint clad in a white mantle rode through the skies on a white horse

with his slave the swirly dark helper. Yeah, who was on the slave's sleigh which was just sort of like a swing that was attached to the bottom of the sleigh. Just like swirly through the sky. I love riding with Santa clothes. It seems like it could be pretty erotic. Santa's got his shirt blowing in the wind.

They're on the white horse. The black slave is grabbing him from behind. Come up here to Black Pete my swirly young man. Come and sit on Santa's lap. Santa's lap is cold. Any instances of homosexuality there? Any gay instance do you think? Any gay set between Black Pete and Santa?

Let's just say all of the pieces are there. I mean you might as well ask did Andrew Jackson have sex with his slaves? We all know he did. So this reluctant helper Put this dress on. I got it for Sally Anderson in Ohio. But instead I'm giving it to you Black Pete. Oh sweet Black Pete.

You've got quite the dangly today. Reminds me of the bells on my reindeer. So while Black Pete was forced to give gifts to good people he much preferred to threaten them with his broom-like scourge. What is a scourge? A scourge is a it's a whip with little

metal balls at the end. Like a cat and nine tails? It's like a cat and nine tails. And at the sign of his master he would gleefully drag sinners away to a place of eternal suffering. Ooh exciting. So this was hell. Cleveland. Ah yes.

Instead of taking you to Spain. So now that we've talked about Santa's we're going to be getting a lot of dark helpers later on. But let's get to Santa himself and the occult origins of Santa and how Santa relates to Satan.

If only this was true. This would be so much better. What a better story for Christmas. Who's to say it's not Henry? I know. That's a good point. So first let's examine Santa's trademark Ho Ho Ho. Now most people don't know exactly because it was definitely softened from

the original Ho Ho Ho. Ho Ho Ho. Yeah. He was just walking around the mean square. Where's the horse? I'm from out of town and I'm looking for some straight up horse. I want to sleep with an old bearded man. Well don't kill him one day he's going to be Santa Claus.

So most people don't know where did the Ho Ho Ho come from? Is this just a jolly exclamation? Is this just something that fat guys say upon entering rooms? Yes and I'm going to think we get into elevators. Ho Ho Ho. Well that's actually what they say.

We'll leave. We'll just leave. You guys can have the elevator. There mean we need two of these elevators huh? I agree. Oh no. It is something that someone says upon entrance but it is not fat men. It is the devil.

For in pre Shakespearean plays they had these two characters in most of these plays. There would be the devil and vice and the devil's ordinary exclamation upon entering the play would be Ho Ho Ho. What a fellow I am.

Was he like a Yoda type or what happened to him? And that was known as the devil's bluster. Oh. Exciting. And of course. I'm going to start doing this more often. God how bad was the pre Shakespearean plays. Yikes. Yeah.

Shakespeare itself kind of sucks. It was always we're back in the day where it is distracting from the fact that you died at the age of 38 and if you were 13 you were pregnant. Right. Right. Right. If you were lucky. So plenty of people have pointed out the fact that Santa is a very easy anagram for Satan.

Oh yes. It's a very easy anagram. It's funny. Ha Ha Ha. But it does have some meaning. Well because it's very true. What we're going to learn right now is that the idea of hidden words are very powerful in magical studies. Yeah. Absolutely. This guy H.P. Blavatsky

Blavatsky. Blavatsky. Blavatsky. Get in here. The sausages are late. Can't believe you quit the family carpet business to research Santa and call him Satan. He's a Satanist and a New Age teacher. He wrote in a book called The Secret Doctrine

he said the name isn't important it's the letters. I don't know what I got to do to get kids in the seats. You know. I'm a New Age Satanist teacher. I don't know how to get my. I don't know how to put butts in the seats. I was trying to do some of that Peter Frampton mouth guitar but I got to tell you

the buzz is uncomfortable. Oh terrible terrible. It just made me want string cheese. Meow. Meow. Meow. I mean I do. Other New Ageers have also used anagrams for Satan such as Sanat Kumara

in order to trick people into worshiping the devil and as for the claws in Santa Claus claws is an anagram for Lucas which is a modern New Age name for Lucifer. Cool. Satan.

It seems another modern New Age name seems to mean that they just made that up. Yeah. Yeah. But Gail but please sir listen to the words of Gail Ripplinger. Of course. In her book New Age versions

here's what she says about the use of anagrams in the occult world. Henry what do you think Gail sounds like? Okay. Lucifer's now everybody please please disregard the sound of my voice and please listen to the important information

I have to say Lucifer's true identity as Satan is revealed as the anagram a transposition of letters. That's what that means. Oh and she's just got the nicest positive gay southern husband. Absolutely. This is my husband

Gail. We are names rhyme. Well that's why I love her so much. Don't forget to tell him about the blind sweetheart. Oh yeah you right. Gail to obscure the true nature of a name you use blinds as esoterics call them

including the scrambling letters of a name to hide the true meaning of a word from the uninitiated. I love it. I want some lemonade right now. I don't know why. And so that is actually very true which is where the idea of secret schools started back in the day

where it's like you know what they said where Jesus was a wizard of the Bethlehem or that whole group or what's it the where is he born? He was born in Nazareth. The Nazarenes. The Nazarenes were in the Bethlehem that whole group were a bunch of secret schools

and the idea is that they used riddles and anagrams and stars to either talk about teach people how to make folklore about the seasons or when the reptilians are coming back. Yeah they were just making it up they just didn't know what else to say. Here's another interesting thing you know we all call them

Saint Nick, Old Nick, things like that. Old Nick is an old English term for Satan. Oh yeah. They call him Nick, they'd call him Scratch and there was a lot. There's a pepper bud. Scratch. They call him Dingley Dangle. They call him Mike. Was Charles Manson naming all these people?

Oh Scratch get on over here. Ah you got ah ha ha ha. It's my buddy. His name is Snickity Snack. Oh it's so nice to have Charles with us. Charles what are your plans for Christmas? Well the first thing I plan to do is dig a nice hole in the dirt. I'm going to take a dump on it. Well that's sort of a gift

that keeps on giving. I call it a foolish stocking. I got spiders on my feet but you know what I'm okay with these spiders. It's Christmas you gotta open your heart. It's better than a stocking full of cold. Hopefully you're dooky. So scholars, they mostly biblical scholars, they concur that Christ

was actually born in the fall on the fourth day of the Feast of Tabernacles. December 25th is actually the feast in honor of the birth of the son of the Babylonian Queen of Heaven later called Saturnalia by the heathen Romans. Saturnalia? She had a mole.

Yeah Saturnalia. It sounds like an erotic festival. Or an oil. Something you put all over your Brussels sprouts to make it taste so good. But again we knew all this they blumped all the holidays together so that people would still have days off from their fucking sheep herder job.

Yeah so they could still take it. You don't take a day off sheep herding buddy. Well you know what, it's a lifestyle. We'll actually talk later about what happens in Iceland if you take a day off from sheep herding. It is terrifying. Again we'll go and tell Christmas in Europe is scary.

Oh everything in Europe is terrifying. It is also worth noting that Santa is Spanish for Holy. Sure. Santa is also from the Latin word Sanctus which means also saintly or holy. Marcus you're taking us down a pipe here. How does this go?

Our English word sanctify comes from the Spanish word Santa sounds like Satan's claim in the Bible of how will be like the most high plan is in action. In other words Holy Clause a.k.a. Holy Lucas

a.k.a. Holy Lucifer it's about worshiping Satan. Thank God I feel better now. I'm going to go put up Christmas decorations now. And Clause also sounds like Clause with the W. Maybe Santa Clause means Satan's Clause

like a lion's Clause. But let us read from the Bible. We shall read from 1 Peter chapter five verse eight. Be sober be vigilant because your adversary is the devil. As a roaring lion walk at the bout

seeking whom he may devour verily verily I say unto you he that entereth not by the door into the sheep fold but climbeth up some other way chimney the same is a thief and a robber.

Well that seals it. Yeah that does it. So they just 2000 year old logic does it again. And I've got more for you man. I'm not done. I'm not done. Good. Most people were unaware that until the 19th century Santa flew through the sky not in a sled drawn by reindeer

but on a white horse. That's right. And it wasn't until 1821 that the magical white horse. That horse was fucking terrified. Terrified. Terrified. No wings not supposed to be flying.

And then on the eve of December 6 as I mentioned earlier the myth said the bearded white haired old saint quote unquote, Clyde in a mantel rode through the skies on a white horse you know there's another character who travels on a white horse. Who? Johnny Cash. Is that right Johnny Cash? Is that who it is?

The Antichrist. Antichrist. Let us read from Revelation chapter 6 verse 2 and I saw and behold a white horse and he that sat on him had a bow and a crown was given unto him and he went forth conquering

and to conquer. But it'll know that modern Biblical scholars have now discovered that they were talking about Bruno Mars. Oh I love Bruno Mars. Show a bow like a bow tie or like a bow like a weapon. Like a weapon. Or a stick. Santa's just rolling around on a horse with a stick coming to your house

and that's why you gotta feed him. He'll kill you. He'll kill your entire family. Believe me I've been traveling all over the world and I also get hungry. And if I don't get them fucking cookies when I'm expecting them I'm going upstairs I'm gonna start sucking your kids' dicks. If I'm Santa Claus.

That's not what you should do if you're hungry. There's other options out there. We talked a little bit about Black Pete earlier. One of Santa's dark helpers. Let's get to what is possibly Santa's most infamous dark helper Krampus. Now I will say you're pretty face going to hell a little bit of a spoiler.

We have done a Christmas episode that features a Krampus and it is a lot of fun. That's awesome. We had a very good time. Krampus. Krampus. Krampus. Krampus is a half goat half demon beast who literally beats people into being nice and not naughty.

I think that's like, you know, spare the rod. I agree. You spoil the child and that's why all these kids are out there listening to their iTunes. And their iPhones. And they're playing games or gem games. Can't be farmer, farmer you tell me you want me to be a farmer

on Facebook. You need to be a farmer in Idaho. That's what I say. We're running out of farmers. We're running out of farmers. Meanwhile, you're tagging me in post about how there's your, your cow is sick. I say feed the goddamn cow. Feed down the goddamn cow. Get a job and make money and get that grain. I'm very upset with the youth.

Very upset with what's happening. Farmville. I remember when I was a kid farming. Farming. There was, there were farms around. Working so hard. Yeah. Farming all the meat from the Arby's refrigerator over to the, over to the Jill Slicer. Slicing it up. Just getting all sweaty.

Sometimes I would bleed in it. The Krampus goes by many names. My favorite is Gunfnickel. Gunfnickel. Gunfnickel. God, I would pay I would pay a nickel for it. Forever. For a Gunfnickel. I feel like you go to the store in the 1930s

and you're like, I'll have four Gunfnickels. And he's just saying he just tugs on your balls four times. You give him 20 cents. That ain't all, young man. That's great. Well, I don't know how I'm cured but I feel my polio going away now. So Krampus, Krampus is usually seen as a classic devil with horns, cloven hooves,

a monstrous red tongue. But he can also be spotted as a sinister gentleman dressed in black. Or a hairy man beast. There's a lot of things there. There's a lot of stuff. There's a lot of stuff. It's a wide berth as far as what Krampus is all about.

He punishes the naughty children with bundles of twigs. Brutin' bundles. Brutin' bundles. And he also uses rusty change which sometimes had bells attached and he would swap the children before dragging them away in baskets to either a fiery place

down below, into the black forests of Germany, or to the nearby body of water for a quick drowning. And in some legends he has a drowning tub that he also drags with him. That it clean any clangs of the night. That story back in the 1800s followed by a blow out of the candle.

Good night, Tom. Good night, Tom. Good night, little Tommy. Oh, good. Bill, I have to wake up in three hours so I can get back to milking. Yes, Tommy. Yes. You get drugged by the crazy Santa Claus man. Krumpus, fella. Here's the origins of Krampus.

His name is derived from the German word Krampen. Krampen. Krampen, which means claw and he's said to be the son of hell in Norse mythology. Cool. In Norse mythology, hell is the ruler of Helheim, the realm of the dead. Which is when I imagine what it looks like

is like the cover of a metal album. You know what I mean? It's just like long bearded hair and like columns and she's, you know, some dude with his dick out in the huge like four fucking fredded guitar with the four fucking tops to it. I don't know guitars. Yeah, that's about right. Yeah, that works.

Hell is the youngest child of the evil god Loki in the giantist, Ang Boda. And she's usually described as a horrible hag, half alive and half dead with a gloomy and grim expression. You talking about my ex girlfriend? Ah, I love that joke. This is Krampus' mother, by the way.

Her face and body are those of a living woman, but her thighs and legs are those of a corpse, mottled and moldering. The gods. That's pretty hot. She's kind of, how does she move? Mottled and moldering. Oh, yikes. Mmm.

Her boobs are hot, but her pussy's cold. Yeah, I'm all dead down there. They're just describing every house wife in Nebraska. I'm all dead down there. I can't wait for my wife to tell me that. Leave it alone. It might as well.

Ah, there it been. You want to take a stab at my old pouch there. You're going to be having sicks with the corpse there. The cops are going to take you. I didn't know you were half dead. Well, I still love her. I'll get some more

mashed potatoes for you. So the gods abducted hell and her brothers from Engerboda's hall that cast her into the underworld into which she distributes those who are sent to her, the wicked and those who die of sickness or old age.

Her hall is Helheim and it's called El Eudner Home of the Dead. You've got good pronunciation guide from Ragnar. That's all Icelandic stuff. This is just me talking out of my ass. I'm going to say again, we are doing our best

to get better at the pronunciation. We're trying to get off of our cocks. We know. We know. We are ignorant. Yes, we know. I'm not a fucking college professor. You piece of shit. You nail it. You've never mispronounced a word in your life, Marcus.

You nail it. You are about the sound of it. It's the meaning behind it. Exactly. So her maid servant is Genglott and she has a man's servant named Genglötti and both of those can be translated into

tardi. Now does that mean retardy? No, no, no. What are we going on? What are you doing? Why you got stinky legs. Sorry, what was that? You got stinky legs. Yes. Mama's got stinky legs. Oh, well, I'm all dead down there

Thank you ganglady. No, I'm just glad you're alive enough to be our mom Really actually kind of sweet and almost warmed my vagina. So that's Krampus's mother Now let's get back to those bundle of sticks that we talked about earlier. Yeah, let's oh, we talked more about bundles of sticks I love this part of the pocket Those may have a connection with the initiation rights of certain witch covens for rights Which entailed binding and scourging as a form of mock death and the chains could have been introduced in a Christian attempt to Bind the devil, but again those could also be a remit of pagan initiations I'm just gonna be really happy when every single bundle of sticks in America can get married. Yeah

That's gonna bundles of sticks deserve love, too I agree with you. So according to folklore and this date shows up again and again December 6th Krampus shows up in towns on December 6th is known as Krampus knocked Trump was knocked. Ooh, that's not good That means Krampus night. It's a cool fucking name for a holiday though. If there's ever a holiday Krampus knocked It's just again. It just sounds like a Yeah, that's true Oh

Yeah, I'd bang my head a little bit to that December 6th also happens to be Nick or stag or St. Nicholas's Day when German children look outside their door to see if the shoe or boot they left outside the night before Contains either presence a reward for good behavior or a rod or a bundle of twigs This is all back in the day where it's like and it wasn't like a fucking PlayStation 4 No, it was like a shovel so you can help with the rock farm with your family or it was like a pee or like one of the Rude wooden horses that you just stared at. Well, you know, you know for a fact you're not getting new shoes That's like an impossible thing to fit in there and in other versions Krampus is an incubus who accompanies Santa Claus in the night of Christmas

That's much crazier. Yes. What he's goes in there. He's just like he just I mean sex with the dad and like and flirting with the kids. I think it's the children. Yeah, I think it's going like Do you think I'm sexy come on children, let me know. I'm not sure if Rod Stewart was around yet This moves through space and time. Oh, I see I didn't realize the truth behind that last sentence So as far as people co-opting Krampus young people in the mid 19th century Used to dress as the devil and stand along with others dressed as Saint Nicholas in the marketplace Waiting to be hired to come to homes and visit children to scare them. God damn it Becky It's so difficult having this child scare business. There's no good Krampus is around. I haven't found a good Krampus in three years

He's lazy hipster pieces I think she's being bad. Did you want to go into town and get to Krampus for us? Yeah Oh, yeah, sounds like something that's glazed. Mmm. I would eat it in Europe He began to gain popularity outside of the remote isolated alpine areas where he originated doing part to the popularity of Christmas cards portraying him in the late 19th and early 20th centuries Krampus is often featured looming menacingly over children He's also shown as having one human foot in one cloven hoof and in some Krampus has sexual overtones For he is pictured pursuing bucks and wins. Now. This is the Krampus that I view as being played by Rodney Dangerfield, right?

Yeah, give me some of them. I just can't get any respect. They're grabbing movies everywhere, right? Yeah, well, yeah, if you go back and watch those Dangerfield movies, you didn't get a lot of respect because technically he's a felon It's kind of interesting, but the Hallmark doesn't make that card anymore though I want to see a good Krampus card come back from Hallmark I'd love to see one. Just like one that says Merry Christmas. You got the tits a Krampus would love. Oh, yeah I want a gift they are for me So Krampus's frightening presence was suppressed for many years the Catholic Church for example forbade the raucous celebrations and fascist World War two Europe found Krampus despicable because it was considered a creation of the social Democrats

So the Nazis did take offense to one Krampus ramp out of all the things that they could have been like maybe we should not genocide Well, okay, listen everybody first first point of the meeting is if we're getting the Jew children's shoes I want the good ones the shitty ones we burn right second one is we got to get rid of this Krampus piece of shit because it's making us look bad Great the Holocaust making us look great, you know and in the 50s after World War two in Austria home of Hitler The government distributed pamphlets that also Arnold Schwarzenegger The government distributed pamphlet pamphlets that were simply titled Krampus is an evil man Sure. All right, but he's not real at all I think the way you do it is you the government the way you got to do opposite psychology

I mean the government thinks that Krampus is a cool fucking dude Yeah, and you have them co-op Santa Claude Krampus put sunglasses on him and a skateboard and be like Krampus was you'd have a good Krampus knock and no one will like it anymore not one bit So a more modern take on the tradition in Austria, Germany, Hungary, Slovenia and the Czech Republic involves drunken men dressed as devils who take over the streets for a Krampus loft which means a Krampus run when people particularly young women are chased through the street by the devil It's a rape parade. Yeah, I was gonna actually make a joke about rape night and stuff like that But that's really what it is. You know what I'll say is that that's that and people don't like Santa con

Yeah, I mean, they wonder why oh boy. This is a fucked up version of Santa. I will say in Atlanta There is a Krampus crawl that they do where people dress up as Krampus and stuff and they go from bar to bar in a big Pub crawl and it's fucking great. I cuz it's not rapey. It's I mean it's all rapey, but everybody's it was a rape No, it's just women are like wearing no clothes Oh, that's and like Krampus horns and the men and like all the guys who do the puppets are pretty face We're dressed in these like nine foot tall Krampus uniforms. He's huge. It was awesome. That's amazing. So one American did go to one of these Krampus Celebrations over in Germany and this is what they will say they sit about the the Krampus celebrations Krampus will hit you

There are dozens of men dressed as Krampus, he will hit you, but he aims for the legs Oh, yeah, only stings for a moment and you get the rooting bundles that like Michaels. They're not hard They're not right. No, no, no and while the majority of Krampus say Krampus a that's Krampus a that is the plural of Krampus the Krampus a They steamed content to harass the crowd on foot while some rode in large carts or vehicle shooting flames or bellowing smoke That's awesome. They were particularly brutal to anyone who taunted them or tried to retaliate. Yeah, I bet Mm-hmm particularly large and frightening Krampus chased down an offending teenager threw him to the ground and sat on his chest and the boy looked terrified and near tears

Yes, I didn't realize they were taken down the youth Yeah, I'm bro Krampus Huh and the narrow streets in the old city section of Salzburg were packed with pedestrians as the crampus a Stomped through many people were caught unaware and reacted with terror Some would flee and try to seek refuge in a shop or restaurant only to be pursued by a determined Crampus is a huge fucking drunk ass German dude. Just go like That is scared. That is terrifying might stay in house. I might stay inside that day. Oh, yeah, or be a Krampus You only got two options. Yeah, I just want to work Krampus

How I wonder if your grandfather celebrated it at the camp just to make it extra scary I don't know. I don't know if they needed to make it any scary. It's a while to get to it though Waited till the end he waited till the end. Yeah, I just did one. Yeah, you just did one We've mentioned Germany a number of times already. Yeah, well, let's go from Germany over to my I would definitely say My favorite Christmas Icelandic now again It is very difficult to have a Merry Christmas. Yeah as an Iceland I don't know because they seem like very like beautiful fun-loving people

It's rough. Yeah. Yeah, this is real rough. There's a dark underbelly to the Icelandic culture Huh, they get Christmas. They get that Christmas is a mournful shitty holiday. Yeah, they know that my good Christmas Just it's the worst. Yeah, it's dying and I went to a friend Ragnar for who is from Reykjavik I went to him for a correct pronunciations on these. We're gonna start off with Yolkutrin That is the Yule Cat. I am the Yule Cat Well, the oldest written source is on the Yule Cat are from the 19th century And these refer to the fact that those who do not get a new item of clothing for Yule are Destined to become sacrificial offerings for the Yule Cat and eaten

So you got to get new clothes. Otherwise you get eaten. Yes. Oh, yeah You got to be regular Lady Gaga over there. Oh my god. No dress. This is from Ragnar He said if you don't get clean clothes in a bath for Christmas or are not eaten the cat eats you Still said to kids today quote we got to get you new clothes We wouldn't want you to end up and say the Yule Kutrin. Oh, that's great 2014. They still say this to children It's amazing the bath thing there aren't they bathing on a daily basis. I don't know once a year. It's hard Because the problem is that you got to drag the big tin fucking bucket out into the town square Where there's the one pump and then you got to go and take that over to the cold area and get it good and bubbling

Right, you got to wait for it to stop being literally boiling right where you can get inside for the mayor comes and washes you Yeah, town soup. Yeah Yeah, so this tradition is based on the fact that every effort was made to finish all of the work with the autumn wool Before Yule and the reward for those who took part in the work was a new piece of clothing while those who were lazy Received nothing so the Yule cat was used to inspire the peasants into working harder So the for their sheet master the Yule cats like fashion, please That's yesterday's shirt. That's yesterday's look I'm gonna eat you now

And now we get to I love these guys I would also do put this is like if you as a listener last podcast I want to start calling our listeners Yule lads. Oh Yep, the Yule lads known in their native tongue is Yola suena. Oh, yep They are oftening they often accompany the Yule cat Ragnar described them as quote Petty thieves and criminals led by a useless wreck of a father and a horrible ogre's for a mother Yeah, so basically it's like newsies. Yeah It's just like a bunch of like whip snapping fucking snapping flip on a coin like weird petty criminals that are around a giant cat

That hates your old clothes Seems just like that sitcom Roseanne Yeah, that's not too bad So the Yola suena their Icelandic trolls who put rewards or punishment into shoes placed by children in window sills During the last 13 nights before Christmas Eve Wow every night one Yuletide lad visits each child Leaving gifts or rotten potatoes To me a rotten potato is a gift fool. Gee you fucking idiot I love it. I love them. Yeah

So let's go to we have a list of all 13 Yule lads Oh, and in fact when I asked Ragnar, I was like hey, could I get some print pronunciation on On the Yule lads on the Yola suena. He's like, yeah, we're right in the middle of the 13 days So in Iceland they still do the 13 days. Absolutely. It's basically you are yours You believe that the cast from Cheers is harassing you at any given time I feel like we it needs to be like that movie the gods must be crazy when the person drops the coke bottle into the African tribe We need to give them a TV Go to Iceland and just like plug in a flat screen and everyone would just come to it and watch and they would learn a lot

So let's just go. Well, I'm gonna say the names of the English the English Translations of the names the first one his name is sheep coat called Claude cool He harasses sheep, but is impaired by his stiff peg legs. Oh, you come here sheep Just like I don't speak. What are you bothering me for? Yeah, there's that peg leg banded out there. Mm-hmm. I know annoying our sheep. I don't know. Do you care? No, it's you care that he's doing that. I don't care Then there's gilly a gaur who his name translates to gullygawk He hides in gullies now. What is the literal definition of a gully? Yeah, cuz I'm very confused about the whole gully a gully

That's a gully a gully is like a small stream. It was like a ravine. Yeah, it's like a it's a small stream and sort of a ravine Yeah, but in a shallow ravine he hides and gullies waiting for an opportunity to sneak into the cow shed and steal milk So he's gonna go suck on the couch. Yeah, so there's a farmer who just like opened up his doors one day I was just like, uh, there's someone on the team Margaret some of the team Meredith I can't handle that. I gotta say maybe some kind of special school bird on or something But I've got there's been five medjits who've come in here and have been they've been harassing the sheep And they've been stuck on my cow's tits for at least two days. How would what oh Christmas is in a week? Yeah, you'll let's uh gilly. I'll get it here. Uh next up is stuford

Uh, his name translates to stubby and a stubby. This is the most sounds like a disney character. Yeah Yeah, yeah, he's abnormally short and he steals pans to eat the crust left on them. He steals pans. That is a homeless I'll just you know, just give him just give him give him the pan whether something in it Help him out. Yeah, I just like the cross. All right, then then there's Very you slicker his name translates to spoon liquor which sounds like a sound garden like It just sounds like they didn't have dishwashers You know, so they just like well you let you eat the crust you lick the spoons anyone on fork duty

Yep, he steals wooden spoons to lick and is extremely thin due to malnutrition because all he does is lick spoon Yes, that's not good. Then there's put a scaffold. Uh his name translates to pot scraper. He steals leftovers from pots Yeah, this is just a poorly run kitchen. Yeah, this is yeah Yeah, this is them leaving their shit out and you're letting the homeless people in not good Then there's ask a liquor. He's the bold liquor. That's a liquor. Ask a liquor Ask a liquor Ask a liquor. He hides under beds waiting for someone to put down their ass Which is a type of bowl with a lid used instead of dishes which he then steals

Then there's hood a scaler the door slammer. He slams doors, especially during the night Also known as a bend castle. Yeah, why not? That's just called hammered as a matter of fact I've done all of these things multiple times last night alone Then there's the skier gamer He is called the skier gobbler. He is a yule lad with an affinity for skier, which skier Yogurt, yeah Old recipe for yogurt which is served with milk and sugar. Let him have it. That's good. Yeah, I don't want it No, you know, this is at least this guy's getting a reasonable breakfast a reasonable lunch

It's got a protein. So you got acidophilus in it, right? And then it makes you it makes you uh, Makes your cycle better and makes your stool probiotics probiotics think about that. Oh, this is a rough one. This is the uh big necker His name is the sausage swiper He hides and rafters and snatches sausages while they're being smoked. It sounds like a guy kill him Don't touch my sausage knows it sounds like a thing Hopping on a blow job Right before you're about to get a blow job. The sausage swiper comes again. I gotta come

Gerda, I thought it was you. That's right. God. I'm leaving you Barry That's not right. Then there's glig a gligger His name is window peeper. He's a voyeur who would look through windows in search of things to steal. Cool. Yeah, cool I mean, you're also probably Jerk off at you Oh, yeah, yeah, a bunch then there's gate to peeper. He's the doorway sniffer He has an abnormally large nose and an acute sense of smell which he uses to locate louth What is that? I think it's a kind of bread. Sure. I think it's kind. I think it's a kind of bread

Look, you know how uh, native americans have fry bread. No Yes, yes, native americans have fried bread, which is one of the staples of their diet Is it like a donut? It's kind of I think it's kind of like it's like a cepali It's like fried bread. Are they are they're italian? They call it fry bread Come have some of our fries. I'm sure Whatever you want my gunk. I just gotta be a work by three. Well, it is comparable to the icelanders lalphabrao Well, they had fried bread. I gotta say iron wind You're fucking boring

Would you like to know more about the color? No, I don't no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no sir, I need to catch the bus It's amazing how boring you can make something exciting, you know Then there's cat rooker. His name is meat hook cool. That's my favorite one. He uses a hook to steal meat I got it. Yeah, it's like fishing but with your own hook other meat and it's dead already. It's just like fishing Yeah, sort of yeah, then there's finally. There's kurtis sneaker His name is candle stealer He follows children in order to seal their candles which in the olden days were made of tallow and thus edible I mean that still must have been fucking gross. Yeah, it's made of fat. It's just fat. Oh, yeah, that's what tallow is

That's good. I'd be the kid licking on the candle I love it Candle liquor candle liquor bends a candle liquor. Have you tried it in nerds? No. Yeah. No. Yeah. Let me try You know what surprisingly That's really good. It's very good very good Yeah, so let's get to the yule lads parents and now we're back to uh pronunciation from ragnar these I know I'm actually pronouncing right, okay, there is a grilla and Lepeluthe, huh? Yeah, okay, and Lepeluthe. It doesn't look like that

No, it doesn't which is why I'm almost positive that I pronounce all the names before there's like seven vowels in Lepeluthe Yeah, they do it different Lepeluthe Hmm, uh without a doubt the most hideous ogres that ever existed in Iceland are the yule lads parents particularly Grilla she has three heads three eyes in each head horribly long curved fingernails Icy blue eyes at the back of the head Horns like a goat and her ears dangle down to her shoulders and are attached to the nose in front She has a beard on her chin that is like knotted yarn on a weave with tangles hanging from it While her teeth are like burnt rocks and a great honestly, I would I'd swipe right I think she's hot

I think at this point because you're doing the tinder thing where you just swipe and write on everybody Yeah, I've never used it, but uh, you know, I pretend like it's on my phone. Oh Oh, that is sad. That really is sad Yeah, because um, but you'd still have sex with that with that three uh headed nine-eyed woman Goat woman goat woman with the beard. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because it's all about if she's funny or not I guarantee you she's got a great sense of humor. Oh, she asked And in a verse from the Sturlunga saga Grilla is described as a monster with 15 tails and a similar description may be found in a poem from the 16th century

However, that version takes the description further by claiming that each tail contains 100 sacks and each of those sacks contain 20 children There's a lot of math in this man. I can't handle all the all the math. It's just 2,000 children Two, it's oh that is true. That is easy math. Yeah, dad. That's 20 times 100. That's 2000 Resident evil it reminded me of a resident evil villain. Yeah, you're always gonna be popping the sacks on that goddamn video game That's disgusting. So the kids are just hanging out like the matrix and these little sacks on the screaming their heads Oh, wow According to some sources Grilla has been married three times

Her first husband was named Guster, but that marriage did not last since Grilla reportedly ate him Long-term relationships are hard. Well, she you know, it's it's really hard It's hard to keep it to go to have that spark. Yeah She subsequently took a husband by the name of Boli with whom she had a number of children He had Boli was rocking that cram pussy back and forth Wimp, wimp, wimp, wimp. Oh, yeah, because she had nine cram pussies. Oh, yeah Yeah, that's a woman we don't talk about and her bush here was made out of snakes. Oh, I love good snakes though Meanwhile, Grilla's present husband Le Paluthe

Is familiar to most people and he is generally nearby when Grilla appears The pair of them are said to have produced 20 children of which 13 are the popular yule lads I cannot I could the seven unpopular yule lads. God. That's sad. That's sad Yeah, no, you're not part of the yule swan it fuck off. That's sad for those seven kids You know, they're probably just gay and trying to be in show business So did they date Grilla? Yeah, you got a quarter of them dates. I gotta feel her gifts. I got a feeling she took him Oh, I thought they go to like a Chili's and it's just like I'm Meredith and um, if you're looking for the spatches

Gotta treat her right take her to Chili's where they're both trolls So she may be fairly so their favorite restaurant is definitely Chili's definitely or Applebee's I love Chili's. I hate Chili's so much. There's not a restaurant in the world that I hate more than Chili's I want my baby back baby back baby back ribs. Well, I Almost forgot about it. You know what I mean? There was a brief second in time Which I thought maybe I will never hear that ever again. Maybe back ribs. Maybe loved it So even though Grilla is still actively used to frighten children some sources maintain that she's dead This information pops up in various popular Christmas songs and unsurprisingly not many people mourn Grilla's demise

Oh, that's rude But some of the songs Contained provisions that she would come back to life if the number of naughty children increases Well, if these kids go on some of these 4chan message boards, I think you're gonna see Grilla They're gonna be coming back because of how many hacks Going on there some naughtiness happening some naughtiness going down and go to 4chan. Well, you still can people It's gonna be shut down soon. Oh, yeah, man. Do you think so? Yeah, totally. Oh, yeah, b's not gonna be around much longer That's sad. Yeah, maybe x will still live somewhere, but b x is the quality of x has severely dropped. Oh, yeah

Yeah, yeah 4chan sucks So let's go back to Germany. Let's go back to Germany for a man named Hans trop. I love this guy. Hans trop is amazing He's vain cunning heartless and cruel and it said that trop worship Satan and used black magic and occult rituals to obtain his wealth And hold on to his power when he was still human. He's a romney. I want to hang out with this guy This is the guy I want to like go to Vegas with so he's a rich dude with no soul or no social uh, no, uh, moral compass Yes, this is perfect. Yeah, he's gonna be president. It's like a Saudi king So when the catholic church became aware of these misdeeds for this was back in olden times when the catholic church

Still had the power to bring people to court Hans trop was arrested and brought before the pope in Rome and those priests being okay, mr. Trapper just got Can you put the handcuffs on yourself because I'm not really, you know, I have sex with boys I can't just be wrestling a full grown man So for satanic deeds trop was excommunicated from the church for the crime of sacral is Sacrilege and was subsequently stripped of his land and money and was exiled into the nearby mountains of Bavaria Where he built himself a makeshift makeshift sack shack made from sticks. Who was like the unabomber?

Yeah, oh, yeah, more fun. Yeah, because you know, we had like cologne on Yeah, unabomber did not wear cologne. Maybe rabbit shit that he would grind up in a little Whatever muddler gotta go to town better be smelling dapper So his anger and resentment was intensified and became even more deeply devoted to satanism He roamed the countryside and disguised disguised himself as a scarecrow by stuffing his ragged clothes with straw Fuck yeah, and then I just kind of stand there like this And that's all I do. I tell you one thing about the outfit Certainly scares a crap out of birds. Yeah, I haven't scared anybody yet, but um nonetheless

Well, one day he did scare a child. He spotted a young shepherd boy making his way through the woods Hey kid, I'm a talking scarecrow Yeah, do you have any sausages? Yes, I have some sausages just come closer. I will text him. I will come. Oh, no Oh, why did they put the hook on the back of my leather horse? I am so easy to lift. I am so easy to steal The boy was only 10 But Hans trop was determined to kill and eat him as he stared at the young boy

He began to drool at the mouth imagining biting into his delicious and tender flesh I haven't had lunch yet. So I am also hungry. I know I'm a little bit hungry too And before the boy knew it was happening Hans trop pounced attacking him viciously and running him through with a sharpened stick Then he dragged the dying child back to his shack where he cut the boy into small pieces and roasted them over an open fire And when his monstrous meal was ready, Hans trop licked his lips and prepared to taste human flesh for the first time And then he and then he flipped a switch and the signs had opened outside And he said this is the first chili's ever and he put up a sign and people came in and they had great appetizers for $4.99

Oof Hans, I love your mixture of satex and culture and some Mexican culture Yes, it's a child or eating However before a morsel could enter his mouth a bolt of lightning came from the sky and struck him dead And as the story goes God would not allow the abomination to continue and decided to end the crimes of Hans trop once and for all I like to see this This is the thing too. It's it. All right one kid almost gets eaten by a guy and God decided to stop him God made eights

Yeah, sure But also waited until the boy was murdered and cut into pieces and cooked before stopping That's the same thing going back to the pickled guy. This guy waits until he's all chopped up and pickled these kids before it brings them back Yeah, but st. Nicholas is actually better than god. Where was it? Because st. Nicholas resurrected the children while god just shoved a lightning bolt and Hans trop's ass Also, there were straight up dog There were straight up fucking real priests that knew what was going on here They knew they got to keep an eye on Hans trop and what were they doing?

There were two buddies getting their fucking nickels fucking fondled by a bunch of costratos Yeah, flicking little beans Well, I'm sure they noticed when there's nine o'clock below job appointment didn't show up that day when the 10 year old boy was kidnapped Where's spin? Where's my favorite sucker spin? Yeah And since that time Hans trop has remained a terrifying legend for every Christmas He goes from house to house clad in his scarecrow disguise Scaring the life out of small children and drooling greedily over their tender flesh

Wow, I love that story. I miss being a kid. Yeah, I'll miss you be scared by this kind of stuff I used to be scared but I always be I would be like, no, they want it You know, I know all you guys want it, but now no one treats me like that anymore and finally Frau perchta will rip out your internal organs and replace them with garbage also known as burger king That's that that's that's all that's all our that's all our christmas monsters Man this week dare I say macy's walmart All this capitalism they ruin the tradition of christmas. That was such a more fun Experience for the kids. It really was and now everyone's just like I'm gonna be naughty and I'm still gonna get my ps4

I'm still gonna get my flat screen. I'm still gonna get my abs. Yeah. Yeah now. They were used to be fucking Yeah, there were sticks in christmas. Yeah, I'm not letting my eyes and that's why Iceland's cool because there's still stakes Because they still tell people in all seriousness If you don't get new clothes and take a bath if you're not good the yolk hats gonna come eat you But I think really the response is gonna sit on your laptop while you're trying to write your screenplay And what are you gonna do exactly the responsibility there is on the parents though If you're a parent it's gotta be kind of stressful because you know you got to get your kids some new clothes And they're going to be gone because also never mind the costume budget of being a parent in those days because how many times

You got to dress up as crampus dress up as Hans trough now as we talked about earlier There were dudes that hung out in the village Crampus for hire. You know these guys What a bunch of perverts hell of a life though hell of a life So do we want to go out on on the one christmas to me moment? I will allow us allow us to do Let's do it now. There's a beloved character that I just want to do Because I feel like he's got a good connection to the to this fucking bullshit Uh and he he just wants everyone to have a very merry christmas

The man is full of uh of buttery goodness and he has nothing but sweetness in his heart All right, everyone now it's time for the last podcast and Laugh presents detective popcorn singing have yourself a merry little christmas I hope everybody's got a little piece of me all wrapped around your tree so delectable Difficult to resist Hmm Have yourself A merry little christmas. I hope you do Make the yuletide

gay From now on I troubles My all the way because you'll be too busy crunching on my sweet incisors Mmm, make sure you get some water because the kernels are sticking your throat. It's hard To eat popcorn if you want to do it fast. Mmm. Let the yuletide be gay Mmm Santa once invited me up to the north pole

I guess Santa was having so much of this Burden so eggnog and he was sitting down his eyes all sunken back in his head heaving himself And he kept saying come closer detective popcorn I was like why I said why he's like who on the fiddle with you? Mmm faithful friends Who are near to us? Shall be dear to us

warm small Mmm And the mrs. Claus came in the room and she's like, what are you doing Santa? He's not supposed to be drinking. He's supposed to be delivering presents and Santa was like you get out of here before I end your life Fat woman who I'm not the woman. I'm married and I was like Santa Why don't you just chow down on some of my delicious kernels here and get yourself right? And he did

Have your Me a real little Christmas Yes, me a Christmas last podcast on the left Mmm Hope you don't get any butter stains on your Christmas jeans Wow detective popcorn everybody a rare appearance. What a beautiful performance that was a beautiful performance I think everyone's yeah, everyone's gonna take that in their hearts And they're gonna take it with them through the rest of the holidays. I think so too

I started off today's episode not in this Christmas spirit My heart was hard and now my heart is slightly less hard Yes, because of that beautiful. I'm almost I almost got the spirit almost. Yeah, I'm in it, man right back to death right back That's great. I'm all right everyone. Thanks so much for listening. Hail yourselves. Hail satan and Fuck Christmas. Yep, and don't forget the to go if you're a uk listener or if you're in europea anywhere The uk tour is coming up in march go to gigs and tours.com to buy your tickets buy your tickets as early as possible Just fucking go in and just buy them buy them right now. Yeah, because we've been selling them Yeah, we've been selling a lot of tickets

So go in and get your tickets as early as possible because I'm guessing they're probably gonna sell out so go in and fucking get them Uh, and you can also get a last podcast on a lift t-shirt last podcast on a letter uh at cave comedy radio dot com slash last podcast on the left And the one nice thing about Christmas obviously it just means the year is about to end I just want to thank everyone for such an amazing year Oh, you know this has been great radio and last podcast and all the shows but especially last podcast have grown so much and We just really appreciate everyone just being so awesome. We have the best fans. It's so nice if people listen to the show Uh, we keep listening listening to the other shows on cave comedy radio

um And that's it. Thank you guys. Hail satan. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Hail satan everybody. Help me if you would in your private time We'll give you a deal talk to you soon and uh, yeah Oh, wait. I do want to give a a small shout out to justin Who had a who got a free scoop of ice cream in san francisco from a fellow last podcast on the left listener? Who is wearing a last podcast on the left t-shirt wear the shirt? You'll be surprised who who you meet. Yeah, people have the shirt and I guarantee you whoever you meet They're gonna be working in the food business

So we're talking hot dogs hamburgers ice cream scoops falafel euros. Yeah gyros if you want to call them that and post which You'll add you are Oh, yeah post which you'll add you are just I'm guessing we're gonna get a lot of spoon lickers I want to be the sausage one But everyone's like he's the window peeper and I'm like, all right final people Yep, and go to itunes if you want to give us a christmas present Go to itunes and rent and review us and all the shows man That helps out so much if we can get everything that we do

Do up there on that list. It's just really badass. So happy holidays you fuckers That's right until all of our jewish listeners happy. Don't don't do anything. Have a good time. Have a great time Pressure's off. It's great for you. Howl geen if you're jewish. Oh, yeah Or you know anyone can yeah For more shows like the one you just listened to go to cave comedy radio.com