Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 167: JonBenét Ramsey Part I - And Hence

Episode Date: March 25, 2015

It's possibly America's most well-known unsolved murder on this week's Last Podcast two-parter as we analyze the circumstances surrounding the murder and the infamous ransom note.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last. On the left. That's when the cannibalism started. What was that? Oh, yeah! Oh, wait. Before we start.

What is happening? You sound like JonBenet Ramsey towards the end there. Yeah, the thing about JonBenet Ramsey is that, listen, I also have problems tying a tie, but I actually think that it's really despicable to learn on a little girl like that. You think that it was a tailor gone crazy? It was just like, must tie a tie today. Must learn how to tie a tie around the world's smallest neck. I'm going to say that this is brutal, though.

Oh, my God. It's so sad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is rough. We're covering JonBenet Ramsey today. Yes, okay. So JonBenet and JonBenet Ramsey, rest in peace. Beautiful girl.

Did not deserve anything that happened to her. But we're going to discuss her case, which is a worldwide phenomenon and much, much larger than we have been led to believe. Ooh, a tea for me. A two for tea. John, you're with us. JonBenet, how's heaven, JonBenet? It's so much fun.

What I like about heaven is that there's slides everywhere, and I can take a slide from the ice cream store to the, there's a store just called the present store. Does God make you wear a little dress and dance like you're an adult even though you're a child who shouldn't be sexualized? He says that it's sexy how my knees are shown and so much of my thighs. He loves that about it. Oh, what's that?

John, I think I hear John. He also loves my special skills segment, which I always did. That's how I wrapped it up. I was like clincher, you know. The judges would be like, oh, we've heard your song, we've seen your dress, now what's your special skill? And I'd go, let me suck that dick. Oh, I see. That's good.

I think God's calling you back to the slides now, John Bonet. Okay, go have fun. All right, welcome to the show, Marcus Parks. Abed Kissel, JonBenet Ramsey is here as well. Perfect. Obviously, we're discussing this case. Another amazing job of research, Mr. Marcus Parks. Thank you very much.

What this is, I'm going to call this a tangled web of horseshit. That's the professional term for it? Because there's the case, which we're going going to cover which is the case in general which is just brutal and sad and uh there's a lot of unknowns a child is dead yes yes um because it was such a high profile case of such a beautiful i you know i this is i'm already feel despicable even saying of it but it's like a picture of the perfect victim. You know, like with her in the pink dress. But she's got those like sad eyes.

So she's great for newspapers. She is perfect for newspapers. We discuss it on the other end of the spectrum with the less dead. Black prostitutes, elderly. She is the most dead. She is the most dead person in the history. She is our baby. The baby that was stolen from the... The Limburg baby.

She's our Limburg baby. And I watched a documentary that basically sort of exonerates the parents because all of America, it's sort of naturally assumed that the parents did it, which is not entirely true. They may have a hand in it in terms of cladestine, secret ops, government associations, but we'll talk about that. We're going to get into all of that. But the idea is, I feel like with something like this, when there's so many unknowns and the killer wasn't caught, it's real easy to just dump a bunch of conspiracies from every side into it. And that, again, like the Lindbergh baby, if there's no conclusion, everyone has their opinion and everybody is technically right as the other person. Yeah, absolutely. If you don't know about the JonBenet Ramsey case,

this is in 1996. So some of our younger listeners and some of our international listeners might not know about this. JonBenet Ramsey was a six-year-old beauty pageant queen who was brutally murdered in her own home on Christmas Day in 1996. She was strangled, she was sexually abused, and she had her head bashed in in the basement of her home. And Smash Mouth was playing on the radio. Smash Mouth, they were having fun on the sun. I'll never forget this day because this is the day my parents told me

I could no longer compete in pageants. They said, it's getting too dangerous for a pretty girl like you, Ben. And I said, no, it's not. And you're like, I was never a pretty girl. You just wanted me to be mom and dad. You in that huge fucking dress. Huge lollipop. It's like you've been chowing halfway through it,

and they're like, that's her decoration, Kissel. Why is it so sweet, then? Let's start with the world of child pageants. Child pageants is a specifically American phenomenon. It's despicable and disgusting. It is awful. It is a multi-million dollar industry. Children compete for trophies, crowns, scholarships, cash, or modeling contracts.

Nothing like a little blonde girl twisting back and forth with a big shiny crown on. Let me tell you, in preparation for this, I watched a couple episodes of Toddlers and Tiaras. I don't feel good about it, but it was my duty. This shit is disgusting. I find it harder to watch that than live death. Yeah, watching people get ripped apart. Absolutely.

Yeah, no, it was the worst thing that I've seen in a long time. Like, it is truly disturbing shit. But no one's killing Honey Boo Boo ripped apart. Absolutely. No, it was the worst thing that I've seen in a long time. Like, it is truly disturbing shit. But no one's killing Honey Boo Boo, though. No. Honey Boo Boo is... And people have tried to kill her. Except diabetes. Yeah, that's true.

She's too big to be killed. She is too large to choke on anything. Yeah, yeah. She will bring down how many entertainment dynasties? Oh, my God. They're all going down. So JonBenet, as a veteran of the Child Beauty Pageant Circus, Circus is the best word for it, by the way.

Not circuit. Circus. Yeah, circuit. She had amassed two dozen trophies and titles, including Colorado State All-Star Kids Cover Girl, America's Little Royal Miss, Little Miss Merry Christmas, Little Miss Sunburst, Little Miss Charlevoix, and the National Tiny Miss Beauty. Did she also get a tiny sugar hole?

Did she get that? I don't know if that was a category. Everybody in the audience is at any one of these events, unless they were the mothers of the child, should be arrested for pedophilia. Even the mothers. Hell, wrangle them all up if you're a man there in a cleveland's browns jacket just go in the knock too slow to watch the sport get it get it shake it uh sir we're gonna have to ask you to go why why everyone's everyone's daughter So there are even magazines in this industry. Not long before JonBenet was killed, she was chosen for the cover of the spring issue of Babette's Pageant and Talent Gazette.

It's Babette, right? No, it's Babette. I know, but it's supposed to be, it's a little babe. It's a Babette. No, Babette is a woman's name. It's a French name for, you have to be a whore to be called babette. If you are working in the sex crime business, just follow the magazines. It's just the rest whoever buys them.

Yeah, whoever's buying it who's not, yeah, exactly, mother or father to the children that are in the magazine. Not even just involved in the circuit in general. Right. This is a perfect example of how wealthy people begin their reign as pedophiles. They do it right in front of us. Yeah. There is not one Babette magazine, Babette magazine, go into a lower income family. Oh, no. The publisher of Babette magazine, Buffy Davenport, who just sounds like the person that, like, has all, like, the baby MKUltra, like, prostitute team on leashes.

You know what I mean? Like, Buffy, bring me number seven. So things, Senator Ronaldson. Senator Ronaldson? And so things, Senator Ronaldson. Senator Ronaldson? Buffy described JonBenet as, quote, a natural, a real dynamo. She was one of the up-and-coming 100 who could win the cars and the cash.

And she's probably going to end up dead. Most likely, and it's a good thing they're giving a six-year-old a car. That's a huge win for that six-year-old. Oh, no, way, way, way in the future oh i see she's talking after she's been a veteran of this business for 10 15 years oh great so something she can wrap around the tree when she's taking too many xanax and drinking martinis all night she's been molested her whole damn life exactly when she's trying when she's trying to forget right right yeah put her in a nice car that'll help well about the effects of child pageantry william pinsoff president of the Family Institute

at Northwestern University, who studied child actresses and models, he found them prone to drug addiction, eating disorders, and depression in puberty. He said, for most kids, performing is not a good psychological experience. I'd like to see the raw data on that. Oh, wait a second.

Oh, there's piles of it. Yep. Oh, wow. Look no further than Corey Feldman. So let's answer the question. Who are the Ramseys? Who were JonBenet's parents? Now, JonBenet, she had the breeding to make a beauty queen.

Yeah, nice, tight little horse. Ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Nothing I like is a good solid cup of cum full of a fucking rich man's semen and then a good tiny fucking hot woman's egg and you smash them together. You get one ugly, you bash it in the head with the brick.

Sure, sure. You just keep on moving until them eyes are big and pretty. Yeah. It's such a creepy grandfather thing to say when he sees your future wife. Yeah, she's good for the breed. Yeah.

Wide hips, long in the face, and like a big brown eye. Big brown. Mm-hmm. Ha. Ample bosom. So her father, John Bennett, was a handsome former Navy officer and private pilot, but most importantly, he was filthy fucking rich. Yes.

Yeah, he was. They had two homes. Their home in Colorado, four stories, and their vacation home in Michigan, where John was from, also a gigantic mansion. He helped found a company called Access Graphics, which was eventually bought by Lockheed Martin. What I love like a name about Access Graphics of that kind of company too is that it's so nebulous. You could not tell any what like what it is that they do. No. He runs,

he's a software company. But when you look in Access Graphics, I was like, sorry to dibble around so but they all just kind of said software company. But Lockheed Martin, we know, is a weapons developer. Right. So this guy worked for a company that did a lot of miscellaneous things for probably, I wouldn't even say nefarious company, but like Lockheed Martin is just, they're the war makers of America. Everybody knows what they do. It's interesting.

If you ever watch the CNNs or MSNBCs of the world, they're all sponsored by a company called Northrop Grumman. So when they're leading you up to war, they're basically just Northrop Grumman is just like, can you do 15 minutes about how we should go invade Syria to get our numbers up? It's all a huge game people.

But Lockheed Martin is the exact same way. They finance a lot of good, a lot of everything that we, they finance a lot of our news. Yeah. Two and a half men. They were a part of the team behind that. Yeah. So Access Graphics, they reached $1 billion in sales in 1996.

So it was a gigantic company as far as JonBenet's mother Patsy goes. She herself was also a beauty pageant queen. She was Miss West Virginia in 1977 and John Bonet's Aunt Pamela was Miss West Virginia two years later. Sort of like the culture of generational influence in the MKUltra breeding programs? Absolutely. Interesting. Yeah, absolutely, which we'll get into. We better be which we'll get into. We better be able to fucking get into.

Like mommy, like daughter. Serve the hologram universe. Patsy is a very appropriate name for this woman because she would end up becoming one. Oh, well, the conspiracy websites that I read made numerous references to that. Yeah, yeah. Patsy and John had both a son and a daughter from previous marriages. John Ramsey's daughter was killed in a car accident.

I don't see any quotes over car accident, Marcus. That was just four years before when the daughter was 22 years old. So John has two dead daughters under his belt. Well, she was the only girl to die in a car accident who was shot in the head. He was murdered in the head. So Patsy Ramsey's son, he lived in Atlanta at the time of the murders, which that

will become important later on. Linda Hoffman Pugh, who was the family's cleaning woman for about 14 months prior to the death. That's how white they are, is that they had a white cleaning woman. Ultra white the death. That's how white they are, is that they had a white cleaning woman. Yeah. Ultra white.

Wow. That's how rich you can be. Yeah, they had a cleaning woman with a hyphenated name. That's fucking rich. Yeah. Yeah, so she says that the Ramseys had a very troubled marriage. She said that Ramsey berated Miss Ramsey for being a, quote, lousy homemaker and cook.

Why does she need to be either? You got fucking Linda. I'm sure they have a cook as well. And shortly before the murder, she said that the couple never once demonstrated any affection for each other, physical or otherwise, in front of the cleaning lady. It's like the honeymooners, but this is how it is in real life. Yes. You know, when you're very mean to your wife, she ends up killing your only daughter.

So let's go through the timeline. Let's start at the timeline of the murders. Let's start about a month before on, or let's say about 20 days before on December 6th, the Lights of December parade. I hate these fucking putrid white people parties. Just the description of any one of these things just makes my fucking blood crawl. Yeah, yeah. JonBenet appeared on her own Little Miss Colorado float

during the Lights of December parade on the Boulder Mall. What was really weird is she had this great crown on that had this, like, target? It looked like a gun scope on the top of it, which is really weird. Yeah, that's kind of fun. Yeah. On December 21st, Access Graphics had their first billion-dollar year

and celebrated the $1 billion mark at a very public banquet. And what they do at those banquets, when you reach a first-ever billion-dollar year, is that most of those banquets have black people dressed as tables and food is just put on their backs. I didn't know that. Yeah. On December 23rd, the Ramseys have a Christmas party. About 30 people attended, and former journalism professor Bill McReynolds played Santa Claus. Oh, that's great.

That will become important later on. Another indication of how wealthy these people were. Did they get a professional Santa Claus? No, they got a journalist to become a Santa Claus. They got a powerful man to dress up in a costume. On December 25th, they go to a Christmas party at their friend's house. The friends say nothing out of the ordinary occurred at the party. Other than the fact that they didn't bring their family. It's a Christmas party. Isn't Other than the fact they didn't bring their family.

It's a Christmas party. Isn't that a family event? They did bring their family. The Ramseys? Yeah, it was the entire... Everyone was there. JonBenet was there. JonBenet was there.

Burke was there because they also had a son named Burke who was about four years old. Oh, okay. Where's Burke right now? Where's Burke? He's hanging out. Burke's the missing link here. Who do we need to be looking at? Yeah, he's only four.

He couldn't possibly have beaten and strangled his sister to death. Actually, there is a theory about Burke. Burke is not innocent. Burke did it. We'll get to Burke later. So they arrive back home a few hours later, and according to Patsy, JonBenet is last seen alive at 10pm.

Well, I mean, because the 10pm is when she has to go through her dances and songs routines every single night. Not even Christmas. Can't have Christmas off. Absolutely not, Marcus. You haven't been out there in the circuit. You don't know what these fucking animals are prepared to do.

I'm not a champion. That's the only way Patsy ever saw her alive when she was dancing on stage. That's it. So at 2 a.m. that night, neighbor Melody Stanton heard a prolonged scream from a

little girl which was cut short very abruptly. She thought nothing of it, made a note of it, but went back to bed. Is that the blood-curdling, shrill cry of a dead child? Back to sleep. Yeah, whatever. It happens. At 5.30 a.m., the Ramseys wake up to catch a private flight to their second home in Michigan.

God. Right. Okay, so 10 p.m. to 5.30 a.m. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As far as they know, little girl's still alive. Right. 5.45 a.m., the ransom note is discovered. Patsy Ramsey wakes up.

She goes down the back stairs towards the second floor. Remember, it's a four-floor house. She goes down the spiral stairs towards the ground floor. it's a four-floor house. She goes down the spiral stairs towards the ground floor. On the step near the bottom of the stairs, she discovered a three-page handwritten ransom note saying that John Bonet had been kidnapped. So Patsy, at 5.52 a.m., calls the Boulder, Colorado. So it took her seven minutes.

Seven minutes. I'm freaking out. Yeah, that makes sense. That's not that long of a time. Well, she had to search the house first. She wanted to make sure that Burke wasn't playing a bit of a goof on her. Classic Burke move. Burke being only four,

the world's greatest career criminal about to be born. Burke was ten. Oh, he definitely killed his sister. Nearing puberty. Sort of. Not if he's me. He's got another five years. So let's hear the 911 call that Patsy Ramsey placed that night. We have a kidnapping. All right, please. Explain to me what's going on, okay? There's a note left and our daughter's gone. A note was left and your daughter is gone?

How old is your daughter? Six years old. She's gone. Six years old. How long ago was this? I don't know. I just found the note. And my daughter's gone.

Does it say who took her? What? Does it say who took her? I don't know. There's a ransom note here. It's a ransom note? It says FBTC. Victory. Please. Okay, what's your name? Are you... I'm the mother. Oh my God. Please. Okay, i'm sending an officer okay do you know how long she's been gone no i don't please we just got out and she's right here oh my god please okay i am honey take a deep breath Patsy? Patsy? Patsy? And that's how every one of my dates ends.

Patsy? Patsy? Patsy? Patsy? He seemed Asian. I think he was sort of Asian. Oh, I see. Wow, but that is a very intense... I believe her emotions in that, for sure. Yeah, but that is a very intense, I believe her emotions in that for sure. Yeah, absolutely. I don't think she, I mean, you know, it may be premature, but I don't think she's got anything to do with the actual crime. No, no, no.

She seemed devastated. I would say, like, we can't say right now that the prevailing theory is that the Ramseys did not do it. We'll go into it why later, but. They have no evidence. There's zero evidence. And really, the circumstances surrounding it would be, if the Ramsey's actually did it, it would be the most bizarre crime in American history. Absolutely.

To do a fake ransom note is like a sort of head fake to the police for some reason. And then it just, she has no history of physical abuse. We'll talk about this. Because normally, that's what they say. It was like 92% of the time that a child is found dead in a home, the family is responsible. But normally, there's a history of abuse. Almost 100% of the time, there's a long history of abuse. But there was none reported, none found on JonBenet.

92% of the time, but 100% of the time, there's a long history of abuse. But there was none reported, none found on JonBenet. 92% of the time, but 100% of the time, abuse. It would be kind of fun to make your own ransom letter, though, because then you can write a check, but to yourself, so you lost money, but then you make it right back. Yeah, and all you have to show for it in the end is your horribly mutilated daughter. Yeah, you have a dead child there. So let's read the ransom note. Oh, my God.

And by the way, this ransom note is the longest ransom note, as far as we know, the longest ransom note in American criminal history. Most ransom notes are no longer than 15 words long. This is 374 words long. So if there were like a tandem, a duo doing it, I'm sure the one member was just like, what are you doing, writing your novel over there? Hey, buddy, come on. You know Stephen King, am I right? Have you read his later novels? Oh, when he got hit by that van.

I gotta tell you, the quality really ran down. Anyway, guys, we gotta go because this dead girl is starting to get cold. Alright, let's hear the letter. Mr. Ramsey, listen carefully. We are a group of individuals that represent a small foreign faction. We respect your business, but not the country that it serves. At this time, we have your daughter in our possession.

She is safe and unharmed, and if you want her to see 1997, you must follow our instructions to the letter. You will withdraw $118,000 from your account. $100,000 will be in $100 bills and the remaining $18,000 in $20 bills. Make sure that you bring an adequate size attaché to the bank. When you get home, you will put the money in a brown paper bag. I will call you between 8 and 10 a.m. tomorrow to instruct you on delivery. The delivery will be exhausting, so I advise you to get rested. If we monitor you getting the money early, we might call you early to arrange an earlier delivery of the money

and hence an earlier delivery pickup of your daughter. Any deviation of my instructions will result in the immediate execution of your daughter. You will also be denied her remains for proper burial. The two gentlemen watching over your daughter do not particularly like you, so I advise you not to provoke them. Speaking to anyone about your situation, such as police, FBI, etc., will result in your daughter being beheaded. If we catch you talking to a stray dog, she dies. If you alert bank authorities, she dies. If the money is in any way marked or tampered with, she dies.

You will be scanned through electronic devices, and if any are found, she dies. You can try to deceive us, but be warned that we are familiar with law enforcement countermeasures and tactics. You stand a 99% chance of killing your daughter if you try to outsmart us. Follow our instructions and you stand a 100% chance of getting her back. You and your family are under constant scrutiny as well as the authorities. Don't try to grow a brain, John. You are not the only fat cat around, so don't think that killing will be difficult. Don't underestimate us, John. Use that good southern

common sense of yours. It's up to you now, John. Victory SBBC. That is why you do not inhale cigar smoke. Very bad for your vocal cords. And thanks to Ed Larson from the brighter side for purchasing

this voice changing machine. It's my new favorite toy. I've been using it for the last three days just willy nilly. You are having far too much fun. Dare I say you've used it before in an actual ransom situation, Mr. Parks? Perfectly executed. I just think it's so sad that JonBenet never did get

to see 1997 because NSYNC came out with no strings attached. She would have loved NSYNC. Loved it. Oh my God. She would have flipped for it. Too bad she's a skeleton. At this point she is and she's never been a better model. Which is sad.

So after the 911 call, almost immediately, the Ramseys call their family friends Fleet and Priscilla White and John and Barbara Fernie. Wait a second. So these guys Mexicans? Are they Mexican or are they Fleet White?

What's the correlation between having a bunch of money and having old American wealth and just white trash names? It is cousins marrying each other. Is that what it is? Because the richer you get, it's not poor people that fuck. At least poor people fuck their significant other's cousins. You know what I mean? They all fucking within the same family. Right.

Rich people believe they're making each other smarter by just fucking in the family, fucking the direct family. Yep. Keeping that blood a royal purple. So 6 a.m., the police arrive. Those family friends that they called arrived after the police got there. But police let them inside, making their very first mistake by failing to secure the crime scene in any way whatsoever. And let's go ahead and say right now that the Boulder Police Department fucked this up worse than any other crime investigation that I have ever researched. That's why it points to suspicious questions.

When he comes in there, basically they showed up, they let them trample all over the crime scene. Their friends came in there, they're walking around the kitchen. They didn't even search the entire house because literally what you're going to see right here is they searched the house, but they neglected to really search the basement. Her body was sitting there the entire time just behind a closed door.

They just didn't open a door. It's like, knock, knock. Oh, who's there now? Oh, this is the Boulder, Colorado High School marching band. Come on through. Come on through. It's fun. And exactly.

It's like they just didn't open that basement door because it's like, we just hate to, you know, interrupt anybody's privacy. We've got to have a little bit of evidence melt off the body. You know, and I wouldn't be surprised if this was also just rich bullying, where the police are there, the French show up. Do you know who I am? Exactly. I am police white.

I'm the white white. Ah, hello, hello, yes. Gold coin for you, sergeant. Ah, you're pure of skin and brown of eye. Come with me. Join my family crest. So by 7.30 a.m., John Ramsey has already collected the $118,000. It's about an hour and a half later, boom, $118,000.

The guy pretty much pulls it out of his pocket. Right. $118,000, the guy pretty much pulls it out of his pocket. At 8 a.m., the police, not the Ramseys, the police call a victim's advocate group to come and counsel the Ramseys, bringing more people into an active crime scene. And in fact, after using the kitchen, the advocates cleaned and wiped down the counters with spray cleaner. So they were like, oh, this is just, oh, I can't even. Yes, I know. Our daughter was actually hacked up and fed to a bunch of dogs last year. And you know what? The thing that really just ticked me off about it is that when I was sitting there just being

like, oh, my God, my daughter was cut into a bunch of stew meat. I was just like, oh, these counters are messed up. Yes. And I can't concentrate. daughter was cut into a bunch of stew meat, I was just like, oh, these counters are messed. Yes. And then I remember. And I can't concentrate. I remember Clorox came out with a new lemon scented bleach and I can't wait to spray it all over the places that may or may, may or may not incriminate you. But it's a similar situation that happened in the Simpson trial where the guy just came, the cops let everybody trample everywhere.

And then a guy came and wiped or changed the doorknob that was full of probably simpsons blood absolutely so right before 10 a.m the police at the very least sealed john bonnet's room it took them three hours no four hours to figure out like oh maybe we shouldn't let people go into the scene of the crime let's seal that off and it's the only place in the entire house where any attempt to seal the crime scene is made. But also, I find this fact to be really true as well, is that they were suffering a lack of manpower because it was Christmas and everybody was on fucking vacation. Yeah, it was Christmas Day and all the rookies drew the short straw. So you had a bunch of inexperienced police officers who didn't know what the fuck to do

coming over to this house and just bungling up the whole fucking thing. I don't really understand. I thought criminals called truce on Christmas. Yeah, exactly. Do they know it's Christmas? It's, what is that, a gelfand, something like that? Geldof.

Geldof, yeah. And also during this time, John Bonet, John himself and Patsy, they're very cold with each other. And they're not in the same room. They're in separate rooms and doing all, like, they didn't act as if a couple, like a couple in mourning. Well, that's what people said is that Patsy was beside herself upset and blah, blah, blah. But John was just kind of pacing around. Yeah. At one point he checked his mail.

Right. Yeah. Which, I mean, I will admit that it's odd behavior, but not that strange. He's in shock, though. He's in shock. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone has different. That's one thing that pisses me off about people's analysis of this case, is that they're judging how a parent should act in grief.

And there is no standard for how someone acts. If he called the airline that he owns or his private jet and demanded a refund, then I think that would be well, we're not taking the flight, so I will have my money back. Yeah, if he's haggling with Seamless about how his summer rolls didn't show up, then he's like, that's the problem. He's just like, this is a problem that needs to be rectified. I am emailing

and calling customer service. Here's an interesting fact though. It's crazy to think they didn't even have email back then. Yeah, well, they did, but it was just nerds. I had email then. MetallicRose at Yahoo.com. MetallicRose.

Okay, dude. Because my two favorite bands were Metallica and Guns N' Roses, and I had no idea at the time how much it made me sound like a ninny. Yeah, it sounds like you should be doing anal gate porn on a webcam metallic dude i thought i was so cool no i wouldn't all right you were so the eight to ten because remember in the ransom note they said that they would call them between eight and ten a.m that window came and went nobody mentioned it nobody said a single after 10 a.m came and went nobody said anything. That's very weird.

So you would think you'd be waiting by the phone for these two hours 8 a.m. to 10 a.m. Hey guys, Columbo was on. Right, right, right. And when I am in a Columbo jag it's like I may as well be deaf and dumb.

Columbo was a really good detective if the murder happened in a bizarre way. He would have been great at helping this case, but he's fictional. But if you would just see somebody shoot another person, I don't think he could solve it. So a little bit before 1pm, this police officer, her name is, I think, Karen Arndt,

she was the only cop left on the scene. This is very interesting that they had one cop, an extremely rich man, who had connections to the defense industry, who had a ransom note that mentioned a small foreign faction, which indicates the possibility of terrorism. The FBI came and went. They came at about 8 a.m. They dropped a wiretap.

They dropped a wiretap, and then they fucking left there were uh in the area there were other examples of ceos having their sons being kidnapped and the fbi just fucking swarmed these places right but with this case they left one rookie officer to watch over this entire scene so this rookie officer is just this just this is so fucking dumb she said John Ramsey, she said the room was tense. So she wanted to give John something to do. So she told John to search the house from top to bottom looking for his daughter. Which is literally like if you're an NBA basketball player and then you also have to deliver beer to the stands. You know, like he is the father in mourning.

Why is he doing the detective work? Also, in any other case, they would be considered number one suspects. It's a part of what they have to do is they have to eliminate the family out of the equation, and basically you're giving him carte blanche to go, hey, why don't you, um, John,

you seem so nervous. Why don't you go hide all the evidence of your crimes? Yeah, what's that in your back pocket? Oh, this is the cum rag I always used to clean up my semen, but why you... You should throw that out. That's dirty and filthy. Got one more wipe-up job. Yeah, so he just gets to go walk through the house. He gets to walk

through the house, and he gets to... If you subscribe to the theory that he killed her, he gets to double-check that he didn't leave any evidence behind. This is what I'm saying. This is what, yeah, oh yeah, yeah, just let him go. Just let him go.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just let him go. So about five minutes later, and John immediately goes down to the basement. He goes right down there first. It's weird. Like, he's been down there a whole bunch, like maybe like furiously the night before. But it's not that weird because she said, quote, top to bottom, he's going to take a bomb to the top because he's the ceo and he ain't gonna have no one tell him how to do it he started from the bottom killed his killed his daughter and went to the top like that rap song he did the cereal he

did the ceo movement where he goes he was like she's just like john why don't you go search the house and he's like sitting there silent and he goes you know i'm I'm going to do? I'm going to go search the house. It's got to be his idea. Right, right. So he goes down to the basement. And John, not the cop who had gave a cursory glance to the basement earlier, he opens up the wine cellar door, turns on the light, and screams, oh, my God, my baby. Oh, my God, my baby. In the wine cellar where I did not leave her. So JonBenet when he found

her she had black duct tape covering her mouth, a cord around her neck that was attached to a wooden, how is this pronounced? Garot? It's garot. A garot, yes. Because god forbid I mispronounce something. Okay. Was there a problem?

Are people getting upset? I have no idea what human emotion is anymore. Are you mad, Marcus? I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed. We ain't from Webster's Dictionary. We are not Webster's Dictionary. We have a fun way with words.

Yes, we do. So the cord was attached to a wooden garrotte, and her hands were bound over her head, and she was covered by a light colored blanket now the crime scene is at this point fucked yeah because he walks over he rips the duct tape off of john bonnet's mouth right he attempts to untie her hands and he carries her up the stairs setting her down on the floor though like basically then detective art came in picked up the body herself moved it to the living room, and then Patsy came in, freaked out, and just went to the body and just basically went like,

pat, pat, pat, pat, pat, pat, and put her hands all over it. I mean, totally insane. Did you see that pro wrestler die in the ring? There was a video on YouTube about a pro wrestler. He just died in the ring a week ago. He broke his neck, and obviously these pro wrestlers just immediately start throwing his body around to make sure he's to see if he's dead and it's like well he definitely is now yeah absolutely so it's not only uh john ramsey that uh contaminates the corpse but it's also the detective or let's not say detective she's not a detective she's an officer because it is important

to note that they left a beat cop to watch over this crime scene. And Pat Ramsey also contaminated again as she knelt over the body, repeating my little angel over and over and over again. Right. So at about 1.30, about 20 minutes later, John calls the pilot of the private jet that was waiting to take them to Michigan. Who was John Travolta.

Which is also strange. It was John Travolta. It was Henry Kissinger who was a co-pilot for some reason. Oh yeah, and a guy dressed up as E.T. With a hole in the front of his dick hanging out. Weird. Special guy. So he's overheard saying to the pilot, hey, everybody, hey, a little bit of, we have a

little bit of snafu going on here, so maybe we could go and hit down a Hotlanta and check out some of the clubs or something. Why don't we do that instead? He actually does. He asks him, he says, hey, we need to go to Atlanta. We're going to Atlanta right now. But the police police tell him like hey you can't leave town they actually make they actually do that right yeah they're probably like you can't leave town right is it because cnn was there did you want to go talk to the news or what was the reason there's no reason the only

no there really is no reason because at this point his Patsy's son, who lived in Atlanta, was already on a flight back to Boulder. So why was he wanting to go to Atlanta? Was it possible that he knew what was going on? Was he going to Atlanta to possibly settle a score? What would he do? Would he speak to their manager? Throttle a man. He would go and throttle.

Throttle this vile beast. No, it sounds like he got mixed up with the wrong crew people always. I just think that's what happens. In order to have multiple, multiple millions of dollars, you have had to have seen something fucked up and not said it or have done something fucked up. Well, he didn't know what to do because at this time in history,

Liam Neeson was still starring in romance movies. So he didn't have a role model for how to go seek revenge on his daughter's death. But you know who did have a role model? The people who wrote the ransom note. There's a lot of weird things about this ransom note. And by the way, before we get to the ransom note It should be noted that the cops did not fully secure the crime scene

Until almost 2 o'clock in the afternoon They were eating, right? They were just having family They were having a meeting It was the day after Christmas, they were putting together toys Do you have any clue how long it takes to set up a new PlayStation? I know Especially the old school TVs with all the cords and shit in there.

And then you mean to tell me we're going to spend an hour not setting up this PlayStation and we're not going to play a little bit? Kids are crying. Because if I remember, 1996 was the year that PlayStation 1 came out. This is what I'm saying. They were busy. I'll never forget it. That was the year I

got a Sega. Wow. You're like the poorest They were busy. I'll never forget it. That was the year I got a Sega. Yeah. Wow. You're like the poorest, hugest, rich child. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Please, someone write that children's book.

So let's talk about the ransom note. Like I said earlier, it was the longest ransom note in the history of kidnapping. Most were no more than 10 words. this one was 374 words long uh the materials used to write the ransom note were uh the paper was a legal yellow pad that was already inside the house and a sharpie pen additional sheets were missing from the pad but were never located at the defendant's home the pen used to write the ransom note was sourced to the defendant's home and found placed back in its normal place by the phone so they used the pen put it back where it was it's retarded it is retarded but they found another page in the pad that only had it that only had it written Mr. and Mrs. I. Yeah, yeah, like he just started to write the R.

Yeah. You know, he messed up. Yeah. You know, that's kind of a funny little blooper. He's like, oh, we'll laugh about this later. That is goofy. It's weird because he starts writing out Mr. and Mrs., but in the second draft, he just writes Mr. Ramsey.

Right. It's just like he's got Bobo next to him going like, no, no, no, you know why we're doing this. Now you know. Come on now, change it. We're just talking to the father. The mother's a sweet woman. She's got nothing to do with how we're raping her daughter. Right, right.

So the handwriting and analysis was done, and it was found to be an 85% match to Patsy Ramsey's handwriting. Now, there are two possible explanations for this. It could be that the 85% match came from the Sharpie pen. Because Sharpie pens, you can't really see the nuances of handwriting. Or it could be that the kidnapper forged the handwriting. It's like four layers deep then. It's like, what are we even talking about? This ransom note literally is the most puzzling part of this whole case.

Yes, it is. Why was it there? They had no intention of kidnapping the girl. It's obviously trying to throw people off, but in the dumbest way possible. Right. They just closed the door on her corpse. It's not like they really hid it. They didn't throw it into a mountain.

They didn't do anything with it to disguise or get rid of the body, get rid of any sort of evidence. They left it all out. It was staged. It was obviously a staged crime scene in every way possible. And the fact that they had to write it in the house, they didn't bring it with them, they must have taken, what does it take, 15 minutes?

10 minutes to write that? You murder a daughter, you're in these people's houses, you're just gonna hang out? Well, there's a theory later of when the note was actually written. And writer Bill James, who wrote Popular Crime, and I got a lot of really good analysis from him. This guy's great.

Bill James is a fucking genius. If you haven't read Popular Crime, go out and get it. It's my favorite true crime book, or among my favorites. But he's got some theories later on as far as when the note was written. So let's go through the significance of the $118,000. It was during the 1924 World's Fair. I don't want to spoil anything, but that's, I mean, so $118,000 really odd number, right? It's very, it's not exact. It's not a hundred thousand dollars. It's not 150. It's not 200.

And John Ramsey was a multi millionaire. He had tons and tons and tons of money. So why 118,000? And by the way, there is, there is a great website called the John Bonnet Case Encyclopedia that just gathered so many different conversations from around the entire world wide web. I'm really like happy that they did this, but what is the quality of life of people

who spend their whole lives investigating just the murder of John Bonnet Ramsey who are not, to be honest, sexually attracted to JonBenet Ramsey. Hey, I'm saying it's better than watching TV. Could be. Maybe the people who did kill her were just super big, or super dumb, and then one guy was like,

what's the biggest number you can think of? He's like, 118,000. That's a fancy-dancy number. I bet we could get 118,000 Big Macs for that. Wow. Only on Wednesdays. We can go down to Burger King and get Whopper Wednesdays for $1 because we're still saving money. So the most likely explanation is that that year, John Ramsey's bonus was $118,000.

So somebody would have to know that. Somebody would have to know that. Somebody within the company would have to know that. Yeah. So, well, there's a couple of different theories. You know, it could be that somebody within the company knew it. It could be that the Ramseys knew that they could get that money very quickly. It could be that they found a pay stub in the house. It's the other thing.

They could have went through his personal effects, saw a pay stub for $118,000, and be like, I know he's got that. Yeah, I know he's got that, and I know he can get that quickly. Yeah. Which he did. He got it in about an hour and a half. Or again, this is what he wanted to spend his bonus on. I'm reminded of Christmas Vacation when Chevy Chase is looking through the window and he

was fantasizing about the pool he was going to buy with the beautiful woman. Yeah, $118,000 to have your daughter murdered. Yeah. Hey man, that's an unchained eagle. You know what I mean? Finally going on a vacation we always never wanted to go on because I hate you, my wife. John, why are you looking at the wine cellar? You look like you're fantasizing about something.

No, no, no, no, no. Just thinking about the bonus. I just want to buy some rope, you know? Yeah, yeah. So a book by Stephen Thomas says a handwritten ledger reflected his increasing wealth over the years. This guy would later find records showing that as of May 1st, 1996, Ramsey had assets of over $7 million and a total net worth of over $6 million. Total liabilities were an even $1,118,000. Interesting. So that's another,118,000. Interesting.

So that's another $118,000. And here's one that's a little more esoteric. 118 minutes is the runtime of Silence of the Lambs. Well, there's a lot of pop culture stuff going on here because the letter, the ransom note, if you read it, it sounds like the person who wrote it has taken everything from movies. That's why it sounded so good with the voice changing machine.

Yeah, exactly. Like, if a stray dog sees you, she dies. Which also plays into something, I feel like that is very John Ramsey-esque. You know, that seems like something in his brain. He'd be like, I know how to write the perfect, I've seen movies. I've seen them. I can do this. Ransom note.

And it's very interesting. It's very theatrical. Yeah, it's extremely theatrical. Right, it is. 1.18 p.m. is associated with this in a movie-related way. In the movie Nick of Time. Possibly Johnny Depp's last good film. Oh, yeah.

Oh, stop it. This is the quote-unquote Nick of Time, at which the father could have saved his six-year-old daughter if only he'd shot the governor at this exact time. And I would also say people that would call themselves super fans of the movie Nick of Time are also possibly pedophiles. Could be, could be. And also, this is just straight racist that $118,000 in American means $1 million in Mexican pesos.

Really? The currency rate at the time? No, no, no. That is not racist. That is not racist. That is not racist. That is a fact. The currency conversion rate at the time, $118,000, did equal one million Mexican pesos. Oh, Pedro, you know, if we get $118,000, we can get one million tacos. Now, that's racist. That is technically racist.

That is racist. That's, yeah. Because my fact is numbers. Right. Mine is numbers. Yours is tacos. Now that's racist. That is racist. Because my fact is numbers. Mine is numbers. Yours is tacos. To be fair, tacos are an amazing food. And thank you for your one million tacos. Can you imagine, Pedro, one million tacos.

We gonna be so full, man. Yeah, they will definitely get you full. So let's get super esoteric here. Psalm 118 in the Bible is a chapter that's often used in the charismatic Pentecostal movement. Psalms 118 verse 27 can be seen as offering a person as a sacrifice to God. Now, this is a man who works at a 7-Elevens conspiracy theory. You know what I mean? That sort of

he spends a lot of time alone thinking about this case. Well the reason why he was drawn to this because supposedly the Bible in Patsy's bedroom was turned to Psalm 118 which includes the following verse. God is the Lord which hath shown us light. Bind

the sacrifice with cords even unto the horns of the altar yeah very interesting doesn't say anything about rape not a single thing i mean plenty of other yeah plenty of other books in the bible talk about wait a second where's the rape in it go to the old testament oh okay well we don't know if that was necessarily even the case in this situation yeah we actually don't know uh and the term at the very end, this is really weird, use that good Southern common sense. Right. John Ramsey was not Southern.

He was from Michigan. His wife was Southern, though. His wife was from West Virginia. Yeah. So it's kind of weird that Patsy would say use that good Southern common sense unless it was like a weird in joke that she included in the ransom which is also right right really bad taste to include an inside joke on the on the faking kidnapping letter that you're writing in order to uh cover up the fact that

you both raped and murdered your own daughter well you know that's why sometimes on those comedy central roasts i just don't get it. Because it's too inside. Yeah, it's $118,000. Or I'll tell you what, Barbara's going to get the banana. And he just reads it and he's just like, oh, that is funny. I remember that. Definitely. That was a good story.

So if you'll remember, the letter was signed SBTC. Victory! SBTC. SBTC. There are many, many different possibilities as to what SBTC could stand for. First of all, Santa Barbara Tennis Club. Worst rapists in the world. I will put that on air. You can put that in writing.

I know for a fact that the worst rapists in the world exist at the Santa Barbara Tennis Club. And I am going to go, next time I go to Los Angeles, I'm shutting it down. Can you imagine if you are a detective and that was true and be like, Mr. Ramsey, I just hate to tell you, yeah, the Santa Barbara Tennis Club, yeah, they raped and murdered your daughter. Whoa. Yeah, the Santa Barbara Tennis Club. I'm not paying my dues anymore.

Well, do you want to be a member still, sir? I do. I do. Yeah. The quality of the whole club left when we lost. Andre Agassi is our club pro. Unbelievable. The whole quality dropped.

It could be seduced by the child. That is victim blaming. That is victim blaming, but that is victim blaming on the account of the perpetrators who could have seen. I mean, it is possible that Gary Ridgway saw prostitutes as vermin, something that he should clean up. And so it's possible that the perpetrator of this sign saw JonBenet Ramsey as some sort of siren. He was one of those guys in the Cleveland Browns jackets who goes to see the pageants all the time. Again, let's clarify. JonBenet Ramsey would have never been a fashion queen if her parents didn't want her to be.

No six-year-old is just like, I want to be around a bunch of dudes with crusty pants. I want to make guys with beards really aroused. They are all forced. I don't care what anybody says. They are all forced because even if they aren't directly forced, years of supporting the idea drills in their head that it's okay for them to be sexualized and literally prance in front of grown men who decide how pretty they are. In Florida, they ban dwarf tossing, but this is still legal.

Another possibility, signed by the captain. Internet poster Mame says that this is a very common phrase in sailboat racing. When there's a win, they refer to it as victory and signed by the captain. John Ramsey participated in competitive yacht racing with his friend Fleet White. This is also weird that his name is Fleet and that's also the name of a group of boats.

White people are so stupid. White people, that is like a term that you have to be so rich and white to even understand. Signed by the captain. Make sure Buffy brings the mimosas because you know I can't, I can't channel my SS of a Bersemony. Yeah, I know.

These guys were just hanging, they were hanging out in the basement of whatever boat they were in or what. Someone else was rowing all this. They weren't doing anything. It could be Square Bible and the compass. That's just making stuff up there. Internet poster cold case suggests that it might stand for these

three Masonic symbols which are depicted on their crest or seal. Square, the Bible, the compass, and then what's the third one? What's T? T is the. Square, Bible, and the compass. Yes yes that's a thinner one yeah i'm not gonna give too much credit well patsy's father don paul is a mason 32nd degree it's

already engraved on his tombstone this could be a way for the writer to point to whomever had been abusing JonBenet Ramsey. SBTC is engraved on his tombstone? You know what I just said? Let's see here. The entire seal. The Masonic seal. I feel like the way, though,

if you're writing a Ramsey note and your idea is to tell everybody all this abuse is going on, this is a tip to people that are going to use kidnapping to illuminate abuse. Just say the names and the details. Don't hide it in code. Just say who it is and where you can find them and their phone number and where they'll be, what their work schedule is, where they work. Especially if you're depending on the Boulder Police Department to figure it out. Yeah, because they're too busy skiing and hanging around with girls in bikinis

at a ski lodge, like an 80s comedy. Right, I don't know what was happening in Colorado in the 90s. Pretty laid-back place, I think. Well, in fact, in 1996, this was December 25th, 1996, it was the first murder in Boulder, Colorado that year. Well, they have definitely made up for that

with John Holmes, Columbine, a whole series of different things. It really has. Wow. They really have. Very interesting. Yeah. It could also be stop bombing third world countries because Access Graphics was a subsidiary

of Lockheed Martin. It seems like it's like the people who blow up. I don't know. You're going for peace. So you want to inspire peace. So what you do is rape and strangle a six-year-old girl? Well, I mean, a lot of the environmental groups will just blow up random hummers and things like that. I like it when they let all the monkeys go.

That's kind of a fun time. Yeah, because then it's like that Pee Wee Herman thing when he goes and he saves all the animals from the pet store. But then it would be really weird if he saved all the snakes and the animals from the pet store and then raped and murdered a six-year-old girl. Right, right, right. It could be Subic Bay Technical Center, which John was allegedly stationed there at one point when he was in the Navy. And that actually seems like kind of on the nose. That seems a little closer. Like that seems like that could be the most likely one.

It could also be swallowed by the competition because John Ramsey said in the book Death of Innocence, he said I also recognize that larger, better financed companies were growing around us even though we were doing fine I was afraid that unless we expanded our company would soon be

swallowed by the competition. And this book was written after the death. Yeah, so that makes no sense then. It could, and finally it could be saved by the cross. If you'll remember back to Psalm 118, which is used in the charismatic subculture, acronyms are very common. Anagrams, yeah, and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, very common.

SBTC is a well-used acronym that represents the word saved by the cross, and it was also said that Patsy Ramsey was fond of that. What if it actually stands for Sean, Barry, Tommy, and Charlie? A reg-tag group of random lunatics. This bothers me about the religious wealthy, specifically. You know, she's reading her Bible, and she shuts it it and she's like, time to go whore my daughter. Yeah. I mean, it's just, there's nothing religious about these people.

They didn't obey any of the tenets of Christianity. They are the filth of America. These people to me are just like, he works for one of the most nefarious weapons companies in the world. Yeah. And he, it's just like like it's all icky and disgusting it does seem like he might be invited to mr body's house in a random mansion and given a lead pipe because he's a character from clue reeks of illuminati bullshit it just reeks of it there's all of these fucking secrets and we already we know this and we're going to examine

even more yeah yeah and so finally uh the last thing we're going to cover in this episode, because this is a fucking two-parter, the last thing we'll cover in the ransom note is the writer of the ransom note used the phrase, and hence, which is a very odd little phrase. What a pretentious piece of shit phrase, actually. And hence, in the Ramsey's Christmas message, they used the exact same phrase.

They said, had there been no birth of Christ, there'd be no hope of eternal life. And hence, no hope of ever being with our loved ones again. That is a creepy sentence for that to be used. Christmas letter? Just say Merry Christmas. Jamboné's doing great. The house is looking good. That's all you do in a Christmas letter.

You would think so. So Patsy Ramsey would use the phrase and hints in subsequent interviews. John Ramsey was also heard using the phrase and hints on a recent webcast. He said the justice system is a government organization and hence should be looked at with some degree of skepticism. Now, we can bring this back to another man who was caught by a very strange phrase that showed up again and again. Eat your cake and have it too.

I will have my revenge! It's those weird little things that can possibly trip people up. And again, these weird little things become a little bit more powerful because it's not solved. So you just look for clues anywhere and they are all around. And speaking of that,

next episode, we're going to go through the investigation. We're going through a little bit of the ye olde rabbit hole for this next episode. Oh, big rabbit hole. We're going to a little bit of the ye olde rabbit hole for this next episode. Big rabbit hole. We're going to go around the case against the Ramseys, the case for the Ramseys. The next episode is

definitely, it's a rabbit hole. I attempted to, I watched about 45 minutes of attaching the murder of JonBenet Ramsey saying that Twin Peaks had prophesied it. And I really do believe I lost long division. You know what I mean?

I feel like I was so confused last night. I was just drinking scotch, smoking weed, trying to listen to it and understand it, and just being like, I am no longer a person. And we were turned on to that by listener Claude Wilson, who sent us some really good information on JonBenet and the magical significance of it. We're going to get a lot more into the information that he sent. On the next episode, he also sent us an awesome fucking horned skull

in the mail. Oh, that was him. That was him. And it will be the centerpiece of the new altar that we're building here in the mail. That was him. And it will be the centerpiece of the new altar that we're building here in the studio. I'd like to say thank you to all the support I got off of my recent job. Let's give a hearty congratulations.

Mr. Henry Zebrowski will be one of the stars of the new Heroes show on NBC. It's pretty cool, and it's true. I will not say magical ritual was not involved i cannot say that i definitely worked on it we had a loud discussion at the bar marcus and henry both against me uh when it comes to ejaculating on paper that may remain out of a pentagram on it so you know so but you're being a negative nelly i wasn't being negative i just don't know about coming on paper. Proof is in the pudding.

That's true. Maybe I'll try it tonight. Because of this job, I'm going to be in Toronto for the next two and a half months. So what the fuck do I do in Toronto? If you live in Toronto and you know something that's creepy or fun to check out, let me know. That would be amazing. We also want to thank a listener, Lila, who sent us both a king cake in the mail. Oh, so cool.

A king cake, which we will be eating soon, and also sent me an executioner's hood made out of the Texas flag, as I requested. It does make you look like you're a Klansman. I mean, it does, but if I pull it back, then I look more like a Puerto Rican superhero. I am going to say, we were going to record an episode of Roundtable of Gentlemen. Kevin Barnett was here, and Marcus put the hood on, and Kevin, I could see in his eyes

terror. Yeah, he got visibly nervous. Yeah, he got visibly nervous. And if you guys want to fucking send us any bullshit, just go to creeklic.com. Our address is on there. Just be sure to do last podcast on the left, and send it all over. And then we have a live show this Saturday at 10

p.m. right here at the Creek in the Cave and Henry Zebrowski will be here for the first time in like 10 months and this is going to be the last time in a couple of months. So please come out to that. The shows have been amazing and it'll be great to meet all of you. Yeah, that's 1093 Jackson Avenue, Queens, New York

off the G train, and the 7 train. And, yeah, man, go and rate and review us on iTunes. Go get your Last Podcast on the Left t-shirt at cavecomedyradio.com slash lastpodcastontheleft. Follow us at LP on the left on Twitter. Follow, you know, Henry at Henry Loves You, Ben at Ben Kissel, me at Marcus Parks,

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