Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 174: Ed Gein Part Three - Salted and Treated

Episode Date: May 13, 2015

In the last of our three parter on Ed Gein, we cover the murder and mutilation of Bernice Worden and explore Ed's house of horrors, from the infamous nipple belt to his human skull bedposts.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last talk. On the left. That's when the cannibalism started. What was that? Um, you know what I think really could have helped Ed gain, that could have stopped his museum of horrors that was his home? A bowling alley in the town. Maybe? Yeah, just an activity. You know what else? Just once, if he was a kid at some birthday party, if he could have gotten at least one big crown around him going, Hey Eddie, it's your birthday. Hey Eddie, it's your birthday. And then they remembered.

But what was funny is that it wasn't my birthday. And Bernice was there. Welcome to the show everyone. I've been kissled, joined by Marcus Parks as always, all the way from beautiful Toronto. He's back in New York City. For a tiny period of time, I get to be back in New York and I gotta say, mmm, that city, smelling like summer. New York is a stinky, stinky place. If New York was the person who'd be sent home from middle school with bad B.O. You gotta get out, cops would investigate the parenting if a child smelled as bad as New York City. And New York City, just like what a corner smells like in New York City, yes, they would not be able to go to school.

Yeah, I am three weeks off of cigarettes now. My sense of smell has returned with a fucking vengeance. And you know what I didn't ever notice on the train before? The slight, sharp stab of diarrhea. Oh, interesting. And it's also weird how you scratched it with a knife in your arm and no cateen. Which is really weird. It's very intense, Marcus. You're getting pretty intense in your no smoking days. It is a challenge. And that's sort of one of the tricks of living in New York City when you smell the stench of diarrhea. Next up, I'll be getting off, thank you. And wherever you get off, that's where you were supposed to be. So that's kind of fun.

It's the universe showing you where your dentist should be. Obviously, we're gonna get into Ed Gein Part 3 here, but Henry, Toronto, you love it. It's fine. Okay, we're gonna do a whole episode about Canadians. A very controversial group of people. Canadians, I'm just gonna give this message out to our Canadian listeners. I know if you're already listening to this show, you already are a strong, confident person that believes in black magic and knows that you can manipulate the universe with your own will. But if you don't believe that, Canadians, buck the fuck up.

Buck up. Believe in yourselves. The way Canadians sell things on television, they go on the TV and they're immediately like, well, you know, it's not exactly the best. We put a lot of effort into it and I got to say, we're really proud of it. And it's just like, just sell the book. Sell the book. Believe in the book. Sell the nipple belt.

I would love to see Ed Gein on HQ or QVC selling his nipple belts. You know, it's not, you know, it's not my best nipple belt because I only really got about 14 nipples and they just weren't big enough. They're Asian women. You want a little more confidence, Ed. A little more confidence. We're trying to sell, sell, sell. Where's my belt? Where's my belt? Okay, we'll just roll with the first take.

When I wear the belt, I become a woman. That is funny. Well, we just didn't know what the other side of the coin was there, so less confidence is fine. Also, it's kind of like the werewolf idea back in the day about wearing the pelt and then you became the werewolf. Right. Because you know, like when those guys put on the pelt, they like became a big, scary werewolf of the mirror. Do you think that, like, when Ed Gein put on the titty vest, he was just walking around to like, pretty woman, walking down the street, and he was like winking himself in the mirror and be like,

I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me real hard. Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I imagine him just do-do-do-do-do-do. Aw, honey, honey. You're my candy girl. Oh, I farted a little. Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock. Eddie, hey Ed, just saying, just we're your neighbors, and I know we're three miles away,

but somehow that the haunting tune of you mumbling candy girls yourself is keeping me and my family away, so I wish you could just stop it. Are you wearing Mary? I'm sorry, I just got up. You know what, I'm sorry I came by. No, no, stop. I have yourself a skull of coffee. It's so much fun.

I love to have a good skull of coffee with Ed in. That house is a toot factory full of skulls. It's 26 ounces. Oh, big gulps, huh? No, that's a skull. All right. Well, see you later. Okay.

All right, so we've got one murder, possibly two. We don't know if he killed his older brother. We don't know for sure. I mean, it's very likely that he did, but it's definitely a matter of speculation. Can we just go ahead and make the last podcast call of he killed his brother? Yeah, I think we can say he killed his brother. I think we can say editorial stance. We can take that.

I think the more and more I think about it, on the third week of the show of Ed Gein, I am certain that he killed his brother. Yes, yes. I would not bet against it. Definitely not. No, absolutely not. But what we're on right now is that we are on the most famous murder of all, the murder of Bernice Warden.

God, if only she was smaller, she could have been alive another two years. Isn't that something? She was just like Mary and just like Augusta, a middle-aged buxom woman. She was a business owner like Augusta, a bit, as the townsfolk said, a bit snippy, sharp-tongued, just like Augusta, but in Ed's eyes, she had a sinful past. She was the Volkswagen-sized bitch that Eddie absolutely craves. Oh my goodness. Ed Larson from the round table.

Leave him alone. He looks beautiful, ladies. I was talking about Ed Gein. Oh, I see. You jumped, Eddie. Yeah, you jumped. I'm sorry. I have a friend named Ed Larson.

Okay, we're talking about Ed. Every time you say Ed, it's Ed Gein. Let's just go ahead and say right now, every time it's Ed Gein. I apologize to you, Ed Larson, my friend, for equating you to Ed Gein, my enemy. Ed Larson also likes a Volkswagen-sized one. Well, we leave this alone now. Now we move on. So as far as Bernice's sin, years earlier, she had stolen her husband, who was deceased

at the time from another woman. The other woman, distraught from the end of the relationship, committed suicide, and in Ed's eyes, Bernice's adulterous actions had caused the death of another, and that, coupled with his intense physical attraction to her, was enough for murder. I love Bernice because you know when they say stolen, it wasn't like she swayed him with like charms and candies and good food. She just bonked him on the head, threw him over her shoulder and just walked away. Yeah, she's like, got one.

Yeah. You got me a big one. They're like, oh, you got yourself a Steve? You're just like, you know I do. It's Bernice's boy now. You know, there was like a Wisconsin courting ritual with like, you find a widower or somebody like that, somebody who's got a woman who's just like, it's really about ankle size in Wisconsin.

You know that if your ankles are smaller than hers, you've got a good shot of seducing the man. And you just got to hit him with a couple of different fucking, what's the terms? A mallet, something like that. Casseroles. You got to hit him with like six or seven casseroles and you're in there. Yeah. And then you bring that casserole that you hit your future husband with to the next

potluck dinner and everyone eats out of it and then you laugh and laugh and laugh. And then it's really sad the way his former wife committed suicide choking herself to death on cheese curds. Oh, but that is the best way to go. Isn't that something? But that was a problem. It took two days because she just kept eating them. I like when they squeak.

Oh, cheese curds are so great. Obesity kills more people than starvation. For the first time in human history, Marcus. All right. You're fed up, Ben. America's winning. All right. That's a true fact.

We'll get back to Ed Gein here, but I couldn't help but think how funnier, how much funnier it would have been if we overfed Terry Shiva to death as opposed to starved her to death. Because if you think about that. Let's just straight up say she would have gotten a lot, a lot less sympathy if she was a huge woman in a coma than as a tiny woman in a coma. And I think that's unfair. Because she should have been as big as her unconscious brain wanted her to be. As big as a Bernice.

Now you try to start. It'll take you five years to starve me out. I got to tell you the door frame. It's a, you know, the problem with this door frame and it's only one and a half Bernices. We needed to get it up to two. That's a measurement in play field. We're looking at about a four Bernice door there. Oh, you got two cars, huh?

Two car garage. It's on Saturday, November 16th at 8 a.m. the first day of deer hunting season. Ed pulled up to Warden's hardware store, which Bernice owned ostensibly to buy a jar of antifreeze. And he had done a little bit of reconnaissance the day before. He'd gone in, he talked to Bernice's son who also worked at the hardware store with her. The doctor's like, so, hey, are you going to a deer hunt tomorrow? And the son's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, all day.

All day long, exactly when 90, 90 about eight. About six. And you'll be gone. You'll be wearing like ear covers, right? So you won't be hearing too much. All, I mean, you know, it's the first day of deer hunting season, Eddie. Shooting guns all day with all the guys all day long. I mean, it's just, you know, there's just not a whole lot that you can, a man can do besides deer hunting on the first day of deer hunting.

Where will Bernice be? She'll be here. All day? All day. By herself. Well, someone's got to run the store, Eddie. All day long. All day long.

All day with Bernice. So I was going to buy the antifreeze today, but I'm going to come back and buy it tomorrow. Isn't that nice? Well, you know what's so funny is that people make fun of men for not hunting in Wisconsin. And I'm sure they mocked Ed Gein for not being out there opening day. They thought he was sissy. Yeah, I bet he thought, yeah, they thought he was, that was his part of his lady-like tendencies is that he hated hunting. Right, but little did they know he was the one doing the true big game hunting that day.

The most dangerous game. Exactly. Bernice. Bernice. The most cunning prey of all. A large woman standing behind a counter. Bernice. Also, it's just so funny to see him do reconnaissance kind of like, like if James Bond was a loner with autism.

That's sad. So Ed walks in. He buys the antifreeze. It's a big jar, a big Mason jar for a dollar. Bernice writes a receipt for it. Pack in the day. You could just walk into a fucking hardware store with a Mason jar and she'll fill it up with a strange green liquid. You can handle a dollar and walk out.

Perfect. They do that in Brooklyn now, but those are called juicing places. Oh, yeah. So Ed leaves. He walks out the door with the antifreeze, comes back a few minutes later saying he was thinking of trading in his rifle. Now there's a little bit of speculation as to what happened at that moment. If Ed had gone in with the intention that day to kill her and had momentarily lost his nerve and then something made him go back inside and to take care of it that day. It was his preternatural need to make a wig for his cock with Bernice's vagina.

Right, right. Or perhaps he heard the voice of his mother. Go back in. Kill Bernice. Kill Bernice. Now's the time Eddie. Now's your time. You'll have to wait a full year if you don't do it today.

Shut up mother. Shut up mother. Shut up me while he's just standing in the parking lot. He gets credit with Texas Chainsaw Massacre, that film and its cycle of course, but I think Jason Vorre, he's as well. We have a Jason thing happening with Mama and Ed. He just didn't have the size. No, he didn't. Yes, he didn't.

Yeah, the size, nor the endurance. I believe that Eddie completely had the intention to go in there and kill her. I think that he had been built up and that's what it was. He slightly chickened out, but in a way, again, someone with like Asperger's did where he'd go like, and then he like walks out the store and then he's like, oh, I forgot. I'm supposed to kill the big woman. Which wouldn't be uncommon because he would go to the grave sites and oftentimes mostly not rubbed. Most, yeah, I mean, we should say one out of three times.

Yeah, which is enough. It gets the job done. That's fine. And then you find out like how many nipples you can stretch into a belt. It's about, you know what, because that's what George Lucas said, is that creativity dies without restrictions. That's right. One out of three is not good if you're shooting free throws in the playoffs. But it's great if you're Robin.

If you're looking for big women's pendulous breasts that you want to strap yourself like they're close. He's just a little archeologist, isn't he? Yeah, he's an Indiana Jones. So Ed, leave us for a second. Comes back in and asks Bernice if he can take a look at one of the rifles in the glass display case. Says he's thinking of trading his in. So Bernice goes, she opens up the display case, takes out the rifle and hands it to Ed, and goes to the window to look at a car that's parked across the street.

Ed takes a.22 shell from his pocket, loads the gun, aims it at Bernice's head, and her last words were, I don't like Chevrolets. Boom! She's dead. Her last words were, I don't like Chevrolets. So this was Ed Gein, brought to you by Ford. I love the fact that that just brought me right back to Wisconsin where I didn't, that is an activity.

What did you do? I saw a shabby out the window. Yeah, I gotta say, I don't, you know, a green car to me shows pride. And I think it's a sin. I hate to see it having a green car like that. They tend to be Irish. Eddie, what are you doing with that gun? I don't like Chevrolets.

Boom! So Bernice's son, Frank, who Eddie had definitely made sure was gonna be gone that day. All day long. All day. Returned from the days hunting at five to find both his mother and the cash register missing and a large pool of blood on the floor. By the time the police had arrived, Frank had searched the store for clues, and the biggest one came in the form of a receipt for antifreeze

because Frank immediately thought of the guy in the store the day before asking about antifreeze and asking many times if Frank was gonna be gone that day. And Ed Keen also had a history of hanging out in that store. He had been, again, because his courton was sort of like a cheetah, staring at a, I guess, a big, fettel, swingy, swingy ocelot, or whatever his antelope, something with big old tits. Whatever in Africa's got a big set of tits. Elephants or something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was just staring at her and staring at her and always been like, so you wanna go roller skating sometime? Which is hilarious because what was his roller blades made out of? Bones and eyeballs. Which must have been difficult. Ask her to go to the movies, you know, and it's really weird because the movies to him were gonna go to just go and watch cows getting slaughtered in a field,

and he's like, this is a funny movie. Or two cars. They just call the, they just call the street the theater there. It's interesting stuff. Man. Yeah, yeah, he keeps saying like, yeah, you know, they just opened up that skate park over in La Crosse, you wanna go over and, you know, maybe cut a rug. No, Eddie, no, I don't. No, no, Eddie, no.

Me neither. No, no, Eddie, no. No, me neither. Eddie, no. Thank God she said no. I got a lot, I got a lot to do tonight. It's interesting, so he left the body, all the blood is there, and then he took the cash machine.

He wouldn't have been caught unless, if he would have just taken that receipt, right? Uh, well, I think, I mean, at this point the cops are not the best. We know for a fact that he said his brother burned alive, not a bit of burn on him. No. And they were just like, okay, makes sense. Eddie Gein was the number one suspect of the entire town always. Yeah.

Anything weird happened, because they already talked about it, because he had become the boogeyman of the town for so long. It was a joke, but at the same time, it's kind of like on a future story. Sometimes when you deal with somebody who is the creepy, creepy loner, who lives all alone in a house that looks like a fucking haunted house, and he makes jokes about how he's got dead bodies there, and he's got shrunken heads, and he's doing it all the time, and laughing creepily yourself,

when someone goes missing, it's like... Right. That guy over there, the guy mumbling to himself, the caddy won't take off, and he's thinking like, old lady's perfume for some reason. But it's also the house that on October 31st, on Halloween, they give the full-size Snickers, so everyone just leaves them alone for a year. And it just turns out that they were just, they were frozen dookies.

Don't tell me that! Don't tell me! I ate 13 of those last Halloween! So he gets, so Frank's there, the police get there, and he says, alright, I know who fucking did this. I know who took my mother. It was Eddie Gein. And so the police, they kind of put out a little bit of an APB, and of course, Ed, at the time, was sitting over at the Hills House, watching I Love Lucy digested up...

Eating pork chops and pickles. Eating pork chops and macaroni and pickles, which I like it actually. Possibly my favorite meat. Just like, if anything could identify us harder as white people. I think it's like, because even I think about it, I mean like, I could eat some pork chop and some macaroni anytime. Yeah, I could eat that right now.

And as a white people food. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner, man. So when they got there, actually, Ed was in his car with his best friend, Bobby Hill. They were about to head down to Warden's hardware store to see what all the hubbub was about. Right, right. And when the cop actually went up to Ed, and they said like,

Ed, you know, I think you did something here. I think you need to come with us. The first thing he said was like, oh, someone's trying to frame me. And you know who else that sounds like? Lee Harvey Oswears. Who was at Patsy? Where was Ruby? Building 7.

Follow the money. Ed Gein took Building 7 down. Who benefits? Oh, my God. Hey, Beneficio. Quibono. That's what it is. Honestly, though, like everyone has a time that is perfect

for them to be alive. And sometimes you miss that. I would go back. I would be a great Viking, for example. 9-11 would have been amazing. I don't know if you've got the fight in you. No, but I have the charm. I have the charm.

I'll be like the big Viking. It's like, you go killer, you go. And I'm just like, oh, I got all the chicken to myself. A bunch of morons. So glad Ben cries here to guard the chicken. What happened to all the chicken, Ben? Oh. You don't even want to know how full I am.

9-11 would have been good for a bunch of Ed Geins to go over their scavenger through all the bones. He could have actually done a very good job picking up the grave site. I remember that when the Secret Service allowed all the grave robbers to come in and pick through all the remains. That was so sweet of them and nice.

Because they're all guys just going, I'm in like, I'm trying to make a pull for my fan. I want it to be in the shape of a human hand. We're like, right this way, you stinky old man, absolutely. Oh, hope that's number 3469. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She also died helping us start a war we didn't need to. That's right.

Mine the smolder. This is our 9-11 episode that we're going to do in the future is going to be fun. I can't wait for that. It's going to get as banned in the rest of the country. Oh, great. I always like to say we have a small amount of success. Let's ruin it.

That's what I always like to do. They called an APB, which means they just got on some plastic cups and they put them to their ears and started screaming out loud. Well, they just yell out the shed and then the echoes of the hills carry the word down. Don't find Eddie. Eddie, Eddie. There's a bear somewhere.

What'd Ed do? I knew Ed was up to something when he was out here. So while one set of police were busy apprehending Eddie, another group was tasked with searching the gene homestead. Two officers finding the front door locked. Now this story, now this is where it gets to be. I love this part of the story where you get to really see what it's like to walk into the boogeyman's house.

They had no idea what they were walking into. This is the house of a thousand corpses scene. Yes. You know, when the cops roll up to the Firefly Man. It's pretty incredible. Yeah. So the two officers, the front door was locked. They went around to the back.

The cellar door unlocked. They opened the door to a pitch black room walk inside. And as they waved their flashlights around, one of the officers felt something brush up against his coat. Someone just left some kind of, is he making like ham or something? No, that's cool. Nothing like a good winter ham.

He turns around, shines his flashlight and finds a pale white carcass gently swinging from a three foot long sharpened wooden crossbar to which the points have been shoved through the corpse's ankle. Yeah, at that point, there's only one thing to say, and that thing is, The arms were tied taut to the crossbar as well. And the body had been opened up from crotch to sternum and the insides had been scooped out.

This is from the autopsy report. It said, from the appearance of the cut for evisceration, it included that the cut was started from the lower end and terminated above the stomach pit. Pretty woman walking down the street, pretty woman. Packers driving on the field against the Chicago Bears. Hey, we got a touchdown, Green Bay. I hate how these knives get stuck on the sternum.

Eddie, did you see, did you hear the game the other night? You bet I did. Okay. I mean, they got a shot this year. In addition to all that, Bernice had been completely drained of blood. The report said the empty body cavities were glistening and free from blood and appeared as if they had been washed. But most ghoulish of all, the head had been completely removed

and was missing. And as the police searched the house, they pulled apart a pair of old soiled mattresses and out from between them fell this steaming burlap sack. This cop named Willimovsky reached inside and dragged out a two-foot length of twine. This is like one of those funny jokes where you pull the line, it's got like a dollar bill on it.

And then you get to the end of it, you get knocked on the head kind of type thing. Well, I mean, there is a prize at the end. With any luck, this is full of gold. Oh, maybe this could be all full of anti-freezes. You know, it's up to a dollar. Oh, my God, really? Well, that's why you killed her. So the twine was connected to two nails that had been driven deep into the ear canals of Bernie Warden's head.

She had been made ready to be displayed like a picture, just like all of the others in Ed Gein's house. Now, we're going to talk about this in more detail when we go through, we're about to go through the entire inventory of everything that Ed Gein had at his home, which is insane. You're looking at, he had heads to wear, he had heads to show, and Reese was lucky enough to make the gallery instead of the costume room.

He had literally, as the season turns, so does his wardrobe of human flesh. It's weird how he kept it in a paper bag, too. Burlap sack. Burlap sack actually is appropriate. Because there's a paper bag one, too, right? Mary Hogan. Yeah, because she's got the, that's where also,

and the pussies are in a shoebox. Yeah. I wonder if we're going to get to all that. You know what he needed? The container store. He actually brings us to our ad today for mid-roll, the container store. Please make sure you go to the container store, use the code last five days on the last.

Maybe you have some labias lying around there. What do you do with them? I understand we all get it. Go down to the container store. Yeah, you're going to love it. So as far as all of the missing body parts, Bernie's warden goes, was found near the stove.

Her entrails, including both lungs, the esophagus, the stomach, the small and large intestines down to the lower rectum, would be found wrapped in a newspaper and folded inside an old suit of men's clothes. Still warm. I love that he did have clothes, but he was just like,

no, these are human clothes made for, I wear whatever. Suit. I'm no stuffy businessman. I can't be wearing a suit all day. People don't know them out of my casual attitude. Wrapped flesh and clothes. Yeah. As far as the heart goes,

that's where the whole cannibalism rumor came from. Because the heart was found... It was on the stove. Yeah, it was... Well, it wasn't even on the stove, it was near the stove. But people heard heart and they heard stove and they immediately put him together in... Okay, he was eating this shit.

He was about to eat it. I don't have a lot of sympathy for Ed Gein when people do call him a cannibal because I can see how you would make that. It's a very logical jump to make. I think he was... He would have eaten that heart, don't you think? No.

You don't think so? No, no, no. He was turning it into a necklace for a sweetheart who was named Mrs. Rutter-Rutters of Boosher Boygan was counting. A heart necklace? Yeah, yeah, he was making her think. Yeah, because she was a primo piece.

345 pounds. He was going to make two suits out of one. Yep. Hey, Jewelers has a heart necklace out right now, but they just don't really get it. They don't know how cool it could have been. So this is when the cops start searching Ed Gein's house. Let's just get into the inventory.

It's very... So imagine this, right? You're going into a house that is entirely soiled. He only uses about three rooms of it. And pitch black. No electricity. No electricity. He doesn't have any plumbing.

The whole place is ancient. It is covered with refuse, old music instruments. Everything is just food debris everywhere. And you notice also, not only is it just three fucking wreck disgusting rooms filled with human debris, is that there are these several locked doors that have not been touched in years. And so you get, now as a police officer,

to go look at all this shit. And then you open up the refrigerator and you're like, he's got some purple stuff. No, he's got... Sunny D! Oh, shit! Cool, Sunny D is a great drink. So starting in the bedroom,

inside of his bed frame was wads of used gum. Yeah, he'd keep big balls of gum. Huge balls of used gum. We're going to start low and work up. Yeah. Honestly, that's the most disgusting thing in the house. It's so gross. Yeah, it seems gross.

Yeah, just big fucking coffee cans full of used gum. If someone goes into your house and they find a bunch of used gum and that's it, you've still got a bad reputation. Yes, you're still considered filthy. Yeah, you're not doing well at singles night. No, definitely not. You're the gum guy. Yeah, there was also a large inventory of boogers

and a rotten head sawed off at the jawbone. So he was sort of like stimpy from running stimpy until we got to the end. That was the thing, it was kind of funny and goofy for a second and then it's just, it's all the heads. Yep, and two complete skulls were stuck on the back bed pose. That's rock and roll.

That's when it gets heavy metal and he's sitting in an altar of bones. Is it what Jeffrey Dahmer always wanted but he didn't have the fucking guts or the handmanship? No, or the room. I mean, Dahmer was a city dweller. He had a little apartment.

He would have loved a country house in Plainfield. And of course, we've also talked about the bowls. He used the bowls. He used as bowls the brain pans of dug up corpses. He said he got the idea from, quote, an old Norwegian custom. Yeah, of being super fucking creepy. I believe that's probably true.

If you are going to get it from any custom, it would be the Norwegian. But he genuinely would complain that he could never get the bottoms even. Yeah. Of the bowls. And that was the problem, that he would eat his pork and beans

and they'd spill everywhere because he's just like, it's truly, he's like, you just can't believe how hard it is to buff down a human skull. And you know what, Eddie? If anybody would know, it's you. Yeah. He had fixed a pair of women's lips,

complete with lipstick, to the top and bottom of his kitchen blinds so that when they were contracted, when he pulled the cord, they formed a woman's kiss. I mean, it's really creative in a way. And you know, I guess this was his, was most likely his mother's lipstick as well.

I would assume, right? Well, most likely, yeah. Well, I mean, I don't know. His mother didn't wear lipstick. Yeah, his mother was, yeah, his mother was not a makeup woman. That's a harlot move, Ben. Where did he get the lipstick from?

I don't know, maybe one of his excursions over to Wisconsin Springs. Do you think he kissed it? You must have. Right? No. It's like sort of cute. Like all of his stuff is like,

it's a little cute if it wasn't such a nightmare. It's so disgusting, but yeah. Because it's like Pee Wee's Playhouse kind of. Where you can go like, hey, howdy, good morning. It's like morning window. How are you this morning?

Well, feeling pretty lonely. I don't got to be lonely anymore. Just give her some kisses. God stop it. I should have put these lips lower. Oh, Mike. But you know, good thing I got this old stool here. Oh, you want to get blown by his own window.

Next up in the inventory, nine vaginas in a box. Now that sounds like a slipknot album cover. The album title. I do like him saying like, nope, nine vaginas in a box, not 10, not eight. Always nine. Always nine.

Always nine. If they're seven, make it nine. You got to make sure you keep it at even nine. Most of them were salted and treated to keep them from decomposing. One, in an experiment, an odd little experiment, had been painted silver

to see if that would slow down the decomposition process. That's kind of like a Lady Gaga kind of move. Yeah, yeah. Kinda, yeah. Yeah, it's a little glam. Yeah. Well, did it slow it down or? I mean, it made it more brittle.

Okay. Yeah, yeah, he said, but he did say that no matter what he did, some of them still went green. Yeah, and he said, you know what, I will tell you, it's 100% more silver. Mmm, isn't that nice? It's kind of exciting.

Bernice's vagina, which he got to work on right away. Oh, yeah, that's the best. You got to fresh it from, oh, another Lady Gaga, right off in a boat. Hey, you got it. Oh, it's got a, mmm, it got a taste. Mmm, I got a smell. Oh, sweet, sweet, Bernice's vagina.

Oh, you got to know it's only $20 a pound. Right, $20 a pound. Wow. It's some fresh ass Bernice vagina. Yeah, I guess to make a full pound of vagina, that would be quite a bit. That vagina got special treatment. He wrapped a red ribbon around it from the pubic hair

to the membrane, and he'd also kept more of her than the others, preserving a chunk of her anus. Kind of getting kinky with it, huh? Yeah, and if you want to know how that was achieved, this... Dude, I don't. Oh, you're going to tell us? Okay, great. I'm going to tell you, all right now,

this is from the autopsy report said, the cut circled around the external genitalia for the complete removal of the vulva, lower vagina, and anus with the lowest portion of the rectum. Which we all thought of the office was a pretty rock and roll. To accomplish this, the symphysis pubis had been split, and the pubic bones widely separated. That we felt was not very rock and roll.

I mean, you know, so in autopsy in Plainfield, Wisconsin, it's just done by the butcher. You know, they just take... I mean, is there anyone who does autopsies in Plainfield, Wisconsin? They brought someone in. I would hope so. At this point, well, when we were finally doing the autopsies,

this was when it had become a national story, and everybody who was anybody involved in criminal justice had shown up to work the case. Yeah, because the Plainfield cops were very much like, you do it. Oh, yeah. No, this was a little bit over their pay grade. Well, we'll find out later on is that they didn't have the money.

They basically, they needed to find an excuse for the state to come take over the investigation because they were paying for everything in order to fly these people in and out because that's the one thing that's a factor that nobody knows. These people have budgets. These are the autopsies and the crime lab stuff,

like going through all these pussies and trying to figure out who belonged to who. That costs thousands of dollars. Yeah, even more. It's very difficult to identify a person solely by their private parts, except for me. You always get it. He also owned four chairs woven with human skin

instead of cane and the undersides were lumpy with fat. Skin was also used to make a variety of things such as lampshades, bracelets, a waist basket, the sheath for a hunting knife, and the aforementioned Tom Tom that he used to play when he was dressed up. It is also a little known fact. Ed Gein had the first temperpedic bed.

Yeah. It was just, it was fat. It was human fat. Just human lard. Oh, that's right. I really wish I could have seen his grotesque Ricky from I Love Lucy act that he did. I wonder if he thought Lucy was funny

or if he watched him but like, I'm funnier than her. I can do that. Not big enough. You're safe. You're safe. You're safe. There was a box that contained four noses.

Oh, okay. You know. There's just such random numbers, but yeah. I will say this, yeah, because you know, if you want to stop somebody from smelling, you just cut off that nose. Yeah, I mean, yeah. And there were ten human heads.

Okay. Some wrapped carefully in plastic and others just tossed casually under furniture and mixed, and of course the nipple belt, which we all know about the nipple belt. Everyone knows about the nipple belt. That was just the funnest thing, technically. Right.

But mixed in with all of this, this is what's kind of bizarre, but it also tells you Ed Gein's mental state. Mixed in with all this were things like crackerjack prizes, kids toys, little plastic whistles, toy airplanes, and children's books. Like one of the children's books he had,

the title was Dorothy Dale, Girl of Today. Which is scarier, the bags of human heads or a 55 year old man with a bunch of children's toys and children's books? It's really tough to say, Henry. But I'm going to go with a spider ring is less creepy than a human nose.

Just a little bit. And in addition to all of this, the mystery of Mary Hogan would finally be solved. Some sources say that her face was made into another mask, but others maintain that Mary's head never quite made it to the artistic side of Eddie's life. For her head was found wrapped in a brown paper bag, almost as if it was just another piece of trash

that he couldn't bear to throw out just like the dozens of empty cans of pork and beans that littered Eddie's home. And I think that does make, I think it makes a lot more sense that he did not use Mary Hogan as a mask. This would have been a great episode of Hoarders. Man, I would have loved to see it.

It would have been a long episode of Hoarders. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely a different episode than they're used to. That's for sure. So we have ten heads, four noses, nine vaginas, any eyeballs lying around, or those just kind of liquefied quickly, huh? Those liquefied extremely.

Those are one of the first things to go. You know, Marcus. It's so hard to have eyeballs just hanging out. You know, you can't turn them into cufflinks even though it would be pretty sweet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They turn into vitreous jelly very soon. I do have a necklace with human teeth in it.

Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Sarah Benincasa gave it to me. That's great. She wants you to be alone forever. It's working. Good, good.

But while not gruesome in the least, one of the strangest things, at least in context, that the police found one completely boarded up room when they opened it up. And now, if you think about this, right, you've seen all this fucked up shit in the lobby. Right. You're asking yourself, like, you're just...

This is the four years. This is out. This is where he accepts companies. This is where the coffee table books are. And then there's a room that he doesn't want you to go in. And you would have met... I mean, now I'm going to say that's just a perfectly nice room full of nice human things.

Sure, maybe. But at the same time, you're just like... I could just... They're both being like, All right, who's open in it? All right, no, no, no, no. We're drawing straws. No, no, no.

Straws isn't fair. No, no, no. We're doing something else. All right, how long are we in? All right, let's go alphabetically. All right, and then we're going by height. Whoever is the shortest person whose name is last in the alphabet has to open the door.

It was actually... This is where the game rock paper scissors was invented. It had to be. You've got to find a way to solve this problem. Yeah, but at that time it was Fieber's tits and tits. Right, right. They just couldn't get over the tits. No, double tits.

And speaking of the tits, the tits were taught... Bernie's Warden's tits were talked about way too much in the autopsy report. Well, it's because they were too busy going, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. They actually did. They said in the autopsy report that they were, quote, well-formed for her age.

Leave them alone. Good God. That's more offensive than any of this. It sounds like the autopsy doctor is just another Ed Gein just feeling him up, like, turn around, going like, oh, yeah, playing with him like a radio dial. Oh, flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip-flip. Oh, no, I'm working on the bot.

I'm cutting her up. It is isolated Wisconsin, so, I mean, Ed Gein was just slightly crazier than everybody else. Just a little bit. Just a little bit. And, you know, actually, Ben, you say, like, what was behind that door? Was it a nice, serene, normal human room?

It was. It was Augusta's room. Perfectly preserved. He had not touched it in years. Yeah. He walked in. Everything was covered in dust. The bed was made.

It was basically the perfect to the day she died. He never went in there. And that was the same thing because the whole upper floor was Augusta's. So, that whole area, none of it was touched because Ed Gein was too afraid. That, to me, is such a sign of his psychosis. And also, what we talk about a lot of times

about the duality of serial killers, right? How everybody always kind of lives a public persona and a private persona. You know, you got Dahmer and Gacy and Bundy. They'll kind of do the same thing, where Ed Gein was within his own house because he was so socially maladjusted. He couldn't, like, be a cool lawyer on the streets,

you know, and hang out with everybody. He was too weird to do it, so he kept it in his own house. His whole... It's very interesting when you watch someone who's alone like that, who's been operating in a bubble of madness. Right. And what he does to differentiate his dark world

from the good world of his mother. And, like, it's like he basically, that closed door almost kept it separate. And so he can do whatever she wants, because it's like her door's closed. She can't see what I do in this room. Right. And he's happy that she's happy

because she has a beautiful, clean room. You know, when he's sitting in the jail cell, the only thing he's worried about is them going into Augusta's room. Oh, that's it. He's like, I don't care about any... If they find anything, but don't go... Don't go into Augusta's room.

No, and you're talking about in the first place interviews, as soon as they bring up his mother and the things are going on, he just starts crying. Yeah. He's just like... But Augusta says she's just such a good woman. She just didn't... She just...

She just world didn't deserve her. Just kept saying that over and over again. This world didn't deserve her. Like and you know what, I don't think they did. Man, she won. She definitely got the boy that she wanted. That's exactly what she wanted, because, I mean, again, she always wanted a daughter.

Right. You know, it just so happened to me, a daughter made out of loose tanned, human skin and a couple of scalps that he tied her on his neck with a bow and then he played the tom-tom cause he liked rhythm. He tried to be her favorite daughter.

Well, dear in interrogation, apparently the county, Weshara County Sheriff, Arch. How do you pronounce that? Weshara County. All right, cool. Yeah, Weshara County. I look at him for all the weird pronunciations for all these counties.

It's all Native American names, yeah. So he had Arch Slay, he actually, he kind of beat the shit out of Ed just a little bit, slammed him against walls, and Gein's initial confession because of this was ruled inadmissible, and this is actually very interesting, is that Slay died of heart failure in 1968, not too long after Ed was found, convicted, and all that,

and that a lot of friends say that Ed Gein killed this guy just as much as he killed Bernie's world. Well, because why? How did Ed Gein kill this guy? Because the, what happened when the crime hit the newspapers, and when people started finding out what was going on, because when Arch Slay was at New Sheriff, he was this hothead dude who, again,

I mean, he was just a local kid who was sheriff of this town. He was- Not a smart dude. No, not, I mean, not, not, he wasn't brilliant. He's not a super cop. He's not gonna be in an FBI anytime soon. But he's fine for the plain field fucking sheriff. He's fine, yeah.

Yeah, and so he shows up, this, the crime of the century lands in this fucking lap, he's gotta deal with these reporters, they ruin his life. Ed Gein becomes his life for how many years is that? 15. 15 years? And so-

Yeah, great, a great 15 years. I don't, there's, it was the fact that he ate, you know, probably eight eggs and two steaks for breakfast every day and sat in his squad car like a fat ass for his entire life and he died of heart disease. When you're stirring coffee with strips of bacon and you eat to block a cheddar before you go to sleep

every night, you're not gonna make it very long, but the added stress of handling a press circuit that was to just show it up into the town and rip it up. And small town, small wide. Small town Wisconsin is not known for their, they don't have a desire to really be front and center. No, they are highly private. They're humble people, yeah.

And you know, as far as the press went, like they interviewed everyone, they just descended on this town like fucking locusts. I mean, the big story that, this is just the oddest headline for Ed Gein, the big story that really described everything in vivid detail was from the Milwaukee Journal. The piece was called Incredibly Dirty House

was home of Slayer. They were afraid of the house. I understand. I get nervous in a dirty home. It's a sign of an anxious home if it's dirty. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you know, when we talked about it in the last episode, the whole story about the pension remark,

you know, about the all the 350 pound man, like that was a full front page story. Like, Plainfield resident describes pension remark. And then women came forward and were like, Ed Gein romanced me. And it was very strange. You got all of this attention, basically building up these,

like the whole town built up fake relationships they had with Ed Gein. Right, right, right. It's more like, if you had actually had those relationships with him, he maybe would not have done what he did. I mean, it was impossible to have any relationship with him. But yeah, it's always like at the funeral,

oh, I loved, I loved the Laura so much. And it's like, you hated her, you know? But I, yeah, I love the fact that having a dirty house, like Trump to Slayer. And people like Slayer had kind of a dirty house, like filthy house. Incredibly dirty home. It's like a John Waters movie, serial mom.

Like that's what she would be focused on. Yeah. It's just like, I can't believe she had dust on her, on her duvet. Now in Ed's confessions, he would detail his crimes against the dead in a matter of fact way that would put BTK to shame. What happened, because the first time he showed up,

he wouldn't talk, and they were like, well, what do we have to do to get you to talk? He's like, I want a piece of apple pie with cheddar cheese on it. And they went and they got him the apple pie with cheddar cheese on it. He ate it. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

And then he was like, stop that. This cheese is kind of dry. Yeah, he wasn't happy with the cheese. It wasn't happy with the cheese. And so once he gave, once they gave him pie, he started spilling his fucking guts. It's so Wisconsin. I love it.

I love it. But you know, the fact that they messed up his cheese, again, whoever did that should probably get arrested. How do you get dry cheese? Don't serve dry cheese to nobody regardless of what they did. Prison cheese. That ain't right. This is from his confessions.

In removing the head, did you first cut through and then snap the bone? I guess that, that'd be a snapping. Would you work the head back and forth in the same fashion as you would when you attempted to break a piece of wire into? That's a good description of it, yeah. I never took a saw out of the cemetery.

This is going great, Sheriff. We are getting all the answers. I feel like I'm doing good, but also I'm throwing up psychically as well. Good. The cops actually didn't believe a word of Ed's graveyard confessions. They could not believe that this tiny little man

could go out to a graveyard and harvest this many corpses. They thought that all of the corpses in his house had to have been murders. Well, yeah, because they're looking at it. They're like, oh, we got 10 murders right here, at least. We got 10 bodies. It's not more. Yeah, so this is set.

We're going to figure all this out, because to them, grave robbing is supposed to be this physically difficult job. It's like six feet of dirt, a lot of these people kept in stone. But it turns out some about grave diggers, they're fucking lazy. They're lazy people, but it's the same thing when Dahmer. Dahmer had to tell his confession twice,

because the fella who interviewed him just didn't believe him. And then he got a phone call and be like, we found a penis in a box. And he's like, can you tell me that again? Yeah, that one more time. Take it back from the start. You know it's a story I love to tell, so let's just pull up a stool.

I've worked it into a tight five. Right. I mean, why? I guess what would be Ed Gein's motivation of lying about the grave robbing? Because they just thought he was cuckoo for cocoa puffs. Yeah, they thought he was cuckoo that he could maybe get around it somehow.

But the whole thing was just complete. They didn't want to believe anything about this. Right. They didn't want to, because grave robbing, it's like we said in the last episode, murder, they can understand. Yeah, sexual assault, they can understand. Yeah, but grave digging and making clothes out of old ladies

completely out of their fucking field. Straight up, just gathering supplies. He went to the graveyard like he was going to Joanne fabrics. And they can't wrap their heads around it. And again, yeah, they needed more fabric stores and things like that. I'm sure they did think, oh, this is like a San Francisco case.

No, we don't see this in Wisconsin too often. So to confirm their disbelief, this was just to say, all right, we just have to shut this guy up. The Sheriff's Department worked up an exclamation order. And they talk about, and this was the thing, too, that almost ripped apart the town. Like, we're kind of skipping past some of the details. But in the book, Deviant, they talk about in order

to get these, like, look at how private and religious a lot of these people are. They have to go from family to family and get, because they have to get approval to dig up these graves. It tore the town apart. Yeah, right, right. Because they just didn't want it.

They wanted it to be over. And this was something that they thought it's just disgraceful. No, every layer they peeled back, there was more fucked up shit. And they're like, all right, well, now we got to do this. Because literally, it's like, Schley is now dead set of being like, we're going to show that he's a murderer.

We're going to stop all this crazy talk about grave robin. And then they dig up the first grave. And it's like, it's two feet of dirt. One guy does it, because they also said that he had maybe got a guy named Gus to help him. And poor old Gus, whoever he is. Poor Gus. But I mean, it must have been interesting for the family

when they all got one hour to go into their house and try to put together one of their family members. You know, if you are like, does this look like mom's pussy? Yeah, well, I definitely got mom's boobs in her ear here. So let's see if that works. Now, the first one that they got the order for was Eleanor Adams. She was only a few graves down from Augusta.

And besides her name, the only word that was engraved on the tombstone was mother. You know he went and traced his dick along it. The word mother. Oh my god, yeah. And to all those people that said, like, OK, there's no way that this little guy could have possibly dug six feet down on the ground.

Which, by the way, six feet down, I tried it. It's fucking hard. Yeah, you know, that's why they settled on that for feats. Now, at least these are very difficult to get the corpse out. Every single time you admit to grave robbing on the show. Right. I think the problem is I think that we're just shortening the lifespan of the show.

No, no, no, I admit to grave robbing. I admit it to grave digging. Attempting to rob a grave. Just say hole digging. Dig a grave. Just say hole. I did say it. I never said grave.

You said grave. You tricked me. You tricked me into saying grave. Because grave doesn't imply you have a corpse that doesn't fill it with. You wanted to say grave. And every time you say grave, there's literally a thing, like a visible twinkle in your eye.

Well, you know, when they gave all the grave digging jobs to fucking prisoners and just handed them a back-end loader and said, dig it up, fella. We got to get you back to the pen by six o'clock. It took all the fucking art out of it. OK. Marcus is yelling us right. Yeah.

Yeah. I understand when people discuss, you know, maybe day laborers or things like that, because they can work for a lower wage. But if a prisoner stole your job, maybe that wasn't the job that you should have had. I will just say, when I die, I'm going to have a one-handed man with an eye patch.

Dig a my grave. Like, it's supposed to be dug. Just half dug. Yeah, that's good. Well, digging six feet down at the time, you didn't have to do that. All you had to do was dig down two feet, because a lot of these graves were encased in these vaults.

Some of them were made of concrete, but most of them were made of wood. So all he had to do was dig down two feet to the vault, split the wooden case in two with a crowbar, and then jump down to the grave. But they didn't know that until they did it. And so finally they showed up. None of them were fucking grave diggers.

And they didn't even bother to consult the grave diggers. No, but he's just sitting there going like, they sleep forever over here. I see the ghosts dancing in the night. All right, can we get this grave digger out of here? Exactly. It's never good if you have to go to a grave. Whenever a grave digger is a consultant.

They always did. Doesn't the grave digger usually do it? They're usually the criminals. I mean, really, they're called caregivers. They're called caretakers. They ease of forever sleep. They go down, but never get out. Free from the stress of life.

Well, this is just a creepy. I'm jealous of the corpses. Jealous of that piece. Oh, is these sandwiches free over here in the green room? So are you sure this is our number one witness? We have to put him on the stand. So they only had to dig two feet down. And it was estimated when it was two guys that dug it out.

And it was in November. So the ground was frozen. Two guys, it took them a little over an hour and a half. Yeah, and they thought, and they were like, we're just going to hit this. Again, they're all being like, don't worry, don't worry. Yeah, yeah, this is easy, but we're going to get to the holding chamber of the coffin.

And it's not going to be split. Literally, they lift up the dirt. The things cracked in half. They go down to the coffin, open it up. It's empty except for a couple of parts and a crowbar. Yeah, but these people, they were digging, but they didn't want to find out what they were going to see. Ed Gein, he was so thrilled to get to the candy.

It's like a sucker. I've never licked on that thing more than twice before I bite into it to get the gum. I think that's a weird, that's another like, weird sexual peccadillo thing, like when you pull the label off of a beer when you're drinking it. Or if you're just crunching on lollipops, I think that would be scary to see as a woman.

Right, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true. I'm alone. There was a second woman set to be exhumed. Her name was Maybell Everson. And the question of what happened to her body would be answered before they even got to the coffin, just a little over a foot into the grave. The team found a jaw, a section of a skull, part of a leg,

an upper and lower dental plate, a scrap of clothing with the store label still attached, and a gold wedding band. And the reason why he, because what he would do, again, I remember from the last episode is that he would rob these graves and then feel incredibly guilty and sometimes come back and replace stuff.

So this was stuff that he felt really bad about having. Or he went to make a return. This jaw bone isn't what I liked grave. Is that OK if I return? And the graves are like, yeah, return it. Can I get store credit? But as far as his crimes against the living went, he would maintain for the rest of his life

that Bernice's death was an accident. And Mary Hogan, he couldn't remember killing at all, but he admitted that he must have since her head was found in his house. I do want to say, I think Bernice's death was an accident, but did you know she didn't like Chevrolet? You know she didn't like Chevrolet. You're a pork sheriff.

I know you're a pork guy. If I had heard it in my own goddamn self, I would have shot it. And from the official report on Ed's mental well-being, it was the consensus of the staff's opinion that this man is best diagnosed as a schizophrenic reaction of the chronic undifferentiated type because his judgment is so influenced

by his involvement in a world of fantasy he is not considered to know the difference between right and wrong. This man, in the opinion of the staff, is legally insane and not competent to stand trial at this time. So your official word is he was a bonkers boo boo head. Yes, is that correct?

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, officially. The problem, though, is that we're going to see in my estimation is I think that he really liked institution life. Oh, he belonged there. They all said the same thing. His reaction was when he showed up to the hospital and was talking to the police officers,

it was always just him being like, they really take care of me here and I love it. He gained a lot of weight immediately through the trial process. So I think that he knew what he did was wrong. I think that he did make up some shit because of what he learned from comic books. I think he learned that you can make shit up a little bit

and talk about voices talking to you and seeing things in the night and talking about the vultures and talking about all this stuff and it will keep you in the hospital. They wanted to keep him in the hospital anyway. Right. You know what I mean? They knew that he wasn't right.

He belonged in the hospital a long, long time ago. He really did. He really did. But he deft, but institution life really suited him. It was a kind of, someone brought it up on the Facebook page. The yeyo that did the wonderful fan art of us all. His fans were huddling and just kissing. That brought up a pretty good point,

asking like, was it a happy ending? Yes. I think that it was. For Ed, it absolutely was. He spent the rest of his life at Central State Hospital, died there in 1984, they age of 78. So he was there for about 30 years? About 30, yeah.

He was there from like 58, or he was there from like 60 to 84. So yeah, about 25 years. And about Central State, Ed would say, I'm happy here. It's a good place. Some of the people here are pretty disturbed, though. You still got it, Ed. One person who got to know him in a Central State days,

years later, put it best. He said, he was an idiot savant of the macabre, a genius at the ghoulish things he did, but in anything else, an innocent. Very interesting. And I think that is a great way to describe Ed Gein. An innocent. A genius at the ghoulish things he did,

but in anything else. Because I don't know, I don't really think that he made up a lot of stuff. Like, he was an almost textbook schizophrenic. Yes. Right, right, right. He just happened to be the Willy Wonka of titty vests. This is just a schizo Martha's story.

I don't think he deserved to be thrown into pr- I like, I think he was a very sick man. Oh, I mean, I think we could all agree on that. And did not. And I don't think he knew right from right. As far as like, Bernice and Mary Hogan, like, I don't think he knew right from wrong during those times.

Well, either was. Oh, right. Well, but then there were certain things that were, I mean, while he was on trial, like, these weird little tidbits about how basically what people were afraid is that in his house it was going to become like a horror museum. Yeah, and then people were going to show up. Someone actually did say that they

were going to buy the house and turn it into a horror museum. Why would you? Yeah. And then one night while these were basically they were building up to do this giant auction and of all of Ed's stuff at his house. All right, I got nine vaginas in a box, nine vaginas going one, nine vaginas going two time.

I'll pay anything for them. Arrest that man! Arrest that man! But the house got burnt down. Right. And they asked Ed what you, when they told him that his house was burnt down, Ed shrugged and said, just as well.

Just as well. Even just as, he's like, just as well. Because I think he was free. Yeah. I think he didn't have. And I think he had tried, we talked about in the last episode how he had tried to trade houses with someone, tried to get out of there.

I think he did have some lucid moments where he wanted to leave. He wanted, because I think his relationship with Augusta was very much love-hate. I think on the surface, it was this like extreme love. But deep down, I think he hated her more than a man could hate anything. It's how I feel about carbohydrates.

You know, I love carbohydrates, but I hate what they do. But that's what everybody said. I mean, and then it became his attitude towards all women. And all women that were reminded him of his mother. That's why the making of the costumes and the making of the objects was both a celebration and a desecration. It was both like, I want to be a woman,

but I also want to truss a woman up like a fucking pig and cut her guts out and her guts sliding around like they're soap in a shower. Right, right, right, right. Ed Gein. Well, yeah, but one of the Ed Gein artifacts that would travel outside of Plainview, Henry talked about the auction in which all of Ed Gein's

belongings would be auctioned off, a enterprising man named Bunny Gibbons. Oh, I like Bunny Gibbons. From Rockford, Illinois, bought Ed Gein's infamous death car and took it around to county fairs around Wisconsin. He specialized in trick mice. But after a friend of his made a lot of money on Dillinger's death car, he bought Bunny,

bought the Ed Gein's truck. He made a couple of wax dummies that depicted Ed and Bernice, put one in the driver's seat. That must have taken a lot of wax. Oh, yeah. He put one in the driver's seat and one in the back and displayed it at the Outgimie County Fair in Seymour, Wisconsin.

See the car that hauled the dead from the graves. You've read about it in Life Magazine. It's here, Ed Gein's crime car. $1,000 reward, if not true. I'm not going to go if it's a Chevy. I hate Chevrolet. I hate Chevrolet. 2,000 people paid a quarter each in just a few days,

which, I did the math, in today's money is about $4,000. He paid about $750 for it. Yeah, in two days, man. He's making money. And people in Plainfield understandably upset about this. Yeah, understandably upset. And the Wisconsin Association for Mental Health was also upset.

But for a different reason, they were upset because while the fair had plenty of room for Ed Gein's death car, the Wisconsin Association for Mental Health were told that they couldn't set up a booth because there just wasn't enough room. Oh, isn't that too bad? And do we want to end our trip through the McLeon? Trip through the McLeon.

We're going to end with something that is, I believe, to be a direct ancestor of last podcast on the left, the phenomenon of Geiners. And Geiners were jokes that people around Wisconsin started telling pretty much right after Ed Gein was caught and all this stuff came out. It is a coping mechanism, humor is a coping mechanism. All the people in Wisconsin, they

had to have some way to deal with this shit. So they started telling these jokes. They started doing limericks. And people were writing about Gein, or intellectuals were writing about Geiners and talking about how it is true. This is really the first time that country got to really talk about dark humor

and what it's good for. Yeah, exactly. And this was the first time dark humor was a nationwide thing. And of course, the people of Plainfield, you didn't tell a Geiner in Plainfield. No, you didn't tell one in La Crosse. No.

But you could tell one in Stevens Point. Sure. But you couldn't tell one in Plainfield. Yeah, and you got to tell them. And they killed my gunk. Oh, my goodness. Don't even go there. You can tell some jokes about people from Minnesota, though,

in Plainfield, and they'll laugh and laugh. Because those people from Minnesota, they're dumb. They're dumb. You know, they're Pentecostal. You know, how many times I go out there, they turn a kayak upside down and be like, hey, turn around, there's a hole in it. And they're like, ah, like my mother,

there's a hole in my mother's. Hey, Ben, tell us a sodon. Tell us one of the sodons. So, hey, what do you call somebody who drives to the speed limit? What? OK, this is a good one. OK.

You call them a Minnesotan because they're they, you know what? I lost it. That's OK. OK, ask me another one. Ask me another one. Mr. Gean, I'm sorry. We're going to have to take you back into the room now.

No, no, ask me another one. I got this. What do you, OK, tell us a Minnesotan. Tell us a sodon. Hey, have you heard the one about the, have you heard of the one about the Heria Minnesotan? Sure haven't. No, what is that?

Sure haven't. Every one of them. That's kind of funny. Yeah, they're Heria dumb. This is our favorite of the Geaners. Yeah, somebody, I don't know who wrote this, where it was originally published, but some enterprising genius of a soul

wrote a parody of the night before Christmas about Mr. Ed Gean. Henry, take it away. It was the night before Christmas, when all through the shed, all creatures were stirring, even old Ed. The bodies were hung from their rafters above, while Eddie was searching for another new love.

He went to Wattoma for a Plainfield deal, looking for love and also a meal, when what to his hungry eye should appear, but old Mary Hogan and her new red brazier. Her cheeks were like roses when kissed by the sun, and she let out a scream at the sight of Ed's gun. Old Ed pulled the trigger, and Mary fell dead. He took his old axe and cut off her head.

He then took his hacksaw and cut her in two, one half her hamburger, the other first two, and lay in a hand, a side of her heel, up to the raptor, when his next meal. He sprang to his truck, to the graveyard he flew. The hours were short, and much work he must do. He looked for the grave, where the fattest one laid, and started digging with a shovel and spade.

He shoveled and shoveled and shoveled some more, so finally he reached the old coffin door. He took out a crowbar and pried open the box. He was not only clever, but slice a fox, as he picked up the body and cut off her head. He could tell by the smell that the old girl was dead. He fiddled in the grave by the moonlight above, and once more old Ed had found a new love.

He let out a yell as he drove out of sight. If I don't get caught, I'll be back tomorrow night. Okay, now that was just one of my favorite little jokes, but that concludes this Easter service. I'm Pastor Zolkowski as always. I love that good Ed young joke. I gotta say, population has been light the last couple of weeks.

That's why I'm starting to do the limericks now, so tell your friends, the pastor's back, and he's cool. He's cool, he's cool now. Yep, okay, may the Lord be with ya. That's fucking Ed Gein, man. Oh man, that was three parts, three hours of good ol' Eddie.

Eddie Gein. I hope you guys had as much fun with this as we did. Man, I can't believe it took us this long, but you know what, it was worth it. It was worth it. It was a sweet, sweet wine. That's right. And you know what, this was not planned at all,

but we just happened to do this right in the middle of Mother's Day. Oh, in the middle of Mother's Day. Mother's Day was last Sunday, so you know, if you haven't called your mother yet, just think of Augusta and dial the number. Yeah, and you know, get hard. Well, don't get hard when you call your mother.

Augusta just shanning around. Yeah, well, sweet. I would say if you do have an erection, wait until it's gone, then call your mother. Then call your mother. You don't want to get a thing calling. To the love of God, don't call your mother with a heart on it, because you're gonna

start crossing the signals. Oh, exactly, then everything's gonna fall apart, and you've got yourself a messy house, and that's really the number one problem in the story. That's what Ed Gean did the worst. So I want to say hail Satan. Yes, I want to give a shout out to Mara Maloney. Hello, shout out.

Mara! We'll do a hail yourselves. We'll do a hail Gean, a big ol' hail. Oh my God, hail Gean. I hope he's smiling in heaven right now. He can't not smile, so he's smiling wherever. Or in hell and Satan's just like, why won't you not smile?

I don't know. Well, technically, he's Satan's interior designer. He's getting pretty cushy treatment down there. Oh, I can't wait for Ed Gean to die. I'm gonna bring him down to hell, and I'm gonna get a brand new living room. Why is Satan Wisconsin? It's Wisconsin.

In hell, it sounds like that. Once you go through the tunnel and the tube, yeah, the fire makes you sound that way. Well, be sure to go to iTunes, and rate, and review, and subscribe if you haven't yet. Go to cavecovidoradio.com slash last podcast on the left to get your last podcast on the left t-shirt. That's $25, domestic $40 international.

We're actually gonna be having a new last podcast on the left t-shirt, a limited edition one coming out here soon. We're gonna start pre-orders here in the next week or two. So be sure to keep an eye on the Facebook page for announcements as far as that goes. We're only gonna have them on sale for a limited time, and then that's it.

So you're gonna have a very limited time to get these. The live show, do you wanna mention this? Yes, the live show, actually, no live show this May. Yeah, no live show this month in May, and in June, it's gonna be on June 19th. It's gonna be on a Friday. So the next couple months, we are gonna be switching it up a little bit,

but after that, we're fucking good to go, man. And come on out, the live shows are so fun, and it's awesome to meet everybody, and all that stuff. Always, and I, oh, follow us on Twitter, LP on the left, that's at Ben Kissel, at Henry Loves You, at Marcus Parks, and thanks, everyone, for supporting us. And to make goos-tillations.

And Heroes Reborn, Thursdays at eight. Yeah, that'll be excited. And thanks so much for supporting all the other shows that Marcus and I do together as well here on CCR. We really appreciate that. That's right. He'll me, if you would. Heroes Reborn, you say Thursday at eight p.m.

On what? I'm busy. I'm watching. I'm actually busy. Yeah, I'm busy, yeah. Actually, I mean it, I've got rehearsal every Thursday. You should just DVR it. I don't have a DVR.

Hi, I'm a... Well, I guess he just lost two viewers. Guess you'll never not be doing the show, huh? I'm hearing that. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Marcus, our plan is working out great. We will ruin his career. Eight is Z will also then be played again Thursdays at 9.30.

Oh, I heard Stu as a podcast. Stu from Eight is Z. Let's listen. Hail, Satan! Oh, that's Stu's different. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to cavecomedyradio.com.