Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 199: The Magick Series - The Left Hand Path

Episode Date: November 5, 2015

The magick series continues with the Left Hand Path! Join us on this sex and semen filled journey as we explore Aleister Crowley's Thelema and his various adventures along the way, Anton LaVey's Church of Satan and how Michael Aquino tried to ruin everyone's good time, and how it all began in the west with one half-prude.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last time. On the left. Right above your gliss. That's when the cannibalism started. What was that? Cans are alive with the sounds of podcast. That works.

Yeah, it's very clever. You did really good with that. Thank you so much, I really appreciate it. You're a good little song parody. You're a regular weird owl over there. That's great. Strange Ben Yankovic. Ooh, Strange Ben Yankovic.

Oh, God. Name Strange Ben. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here, let me make your hands numb by me sitting on them. And I give you a sit. And then what I do is I make your hands numb with my ass. And then I make you give yourself a hand job. Strange Ben.

Strange Ben. Great. Are we ready to go, Marcus? We are. All right, welcome to the last podcast. On the left, everyone, I am Ben Kissel with Marcus Parks. We got Henry Zabrowski here. I've been Henry Zabrowski.

And you know what? I'll continue to be. Because you know why? I like Henry Zabrowski. Everyone likes Henry Zabrowski. You're a great guy. There are people that have attacked me many, many times online. What happened?

I've been getting some online attacks too. What's going on? Well, you have a divisive personality. No, I don't. I am America's sweetheart. That's not true. I don't really understand why I would get any sort of bad press. Because I find that I am, I'm what America technically deserves.

I'm what America needs. All right. So, Nickson, thank you so much. That's very nice. Strange Ben. People love. That's your new nickname. Yeah, Strange Ben.

People love me. I mean, what can I do? I mean, I try to, you know, not have them. Love me so much, but they always do. I can't wait to introduce you to women as Strange Ben. Yeah, yeah. I'll never meet another gal again. All right.

So today we're discussing magic. This is part of our, what is it? The third episode on magic? Second. Second episode. Okay. And now we discussed the right hand path and now we're getting into the left hand path.

It's in Eastry. Does anyone have a thing in school where, because I never had that, but people, I've heard that people that grew up that when you were riding with your left hand that you'd get slapped with a ruler. Really? Because teachers said it was evil. Yeah. That's like a 1950s Catholic school thing.

Yeah. Yeah. Fucking greasy Italians. They're shitty superstitions. You're also, they also believe you're not supposed to put a hat on a chair. That's the thing that's mostly because they're cheap and I don't want to buy new hats. Yeah. More new chairs.

So the term left hand path comes from the tantric term, vama marga, which means left hand path. Now the core practices of the left hand path and tantrism are the fives, the five m's. Madia, mamsa, matia, mudra, and methuna. I want to get a methuna with lamb, can I get an extra hummus? Yeah, some hummus. And those translate to wine, flesh, fish, grain, and sex. See the left path of the tantra involves the ritual transgressions of social taboos and

ritual sex. Now we're going to get into the full description of the history of the left hand path, but it's important to remember. Remember, the right hand path was about the learning and about the purifications of your spirit. What we learned last time was that the right hand path is joining your mind and spirit to the Godhead. This, the left hand path, is about making yourself the Godhead.

And I think it's the right way. If you discover it's very interesting, there's a way to break it down, but this is definitely the more fun version of magic, and there's a lot more pubic hair in it. Yep, a lot more ball sweat as well. There's a lot more ball sweat. And the very famous singer, Sting, he uses tantric sex and he has sex for hours. This is my problem, right? Tantric sex is all about not coming, but coming is the best part.

Well, it's about coming for hours at a time. That's right. It's about coming in your fingers and in your toes. No, no, but that's not coming. Everyone's getting the juice, right? Yes, absolutely. I asked my doctor and that's what he said. Well, that was a homeless man.

What? We had a lab coat on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was dirty. And he kept saying, yeah, you'll make juice today, it's so funny, man, because I make juice right now. Grabbing his penis there. Yeah.

Thanks, Dr. Phil. So besides the sex connection, modern magicians use the term left hand path for more nefarious and provocative reasons, provocative being the operative word here. The Latin term for left, as Henry said, sinister has been associated with evil for millennia, particularly in Christianity. This comes from the Gospel of Matthew in which God's followers, the sheep, are on the right, while his non-followers, the goats, are on the left. Now, would you rather be a sheep or a fucking goat?

Goat. Goat. Yeah, toss up them homes. That's right. The goat cub should have let that goat into the game in 1908. Then they wouldn't have had a curse, and they could be in the world serious today. Fuck the cubs. That's right.

Yes. And in the paintings of the Last Judgment, the Christian God points to heaven with his right hand and to hell with his left, and they call Christians called the left hand path, quote, the diabolical and earthly path to hell. Again, the fun path, the better, the path where you, it's technically a roller coaster to hell. Well, just think about it. Do you want to go upstairs or downstairs?

Going downstairs is always easier. Hell is lower. Let's go. The thing about it, yeah, and upstairs, you can still trip going upstairs. Downstairs, you can slide down the banister. That's right. It can only be an easier path to the bottom. So the left hand path covers Thalamites, Satanists, chaos magicians, and dozens of others.

About the left hand path, German Satanist, Vexen Crabtree said. The left hand path is solitary, individualistic, personal. German. But they, uh, this is like, no, you can't tell from my accent. Oh, I was German as a wiener sizzle as basic self development of self empowerment, frequently called the evil or dark by non-Satanic religions. The followers of the left hand path of offense have to remain in the darkness or face severe persecution from the religions that ironically call themselves quote, unquote, good.

But I'm with the left hand path, I got, you see, I got this, it's a, it's a stick on a tattoo of a, of a fucking cool ass that's got an Irish cross on it. Yeah. So that big gulp would be $2.99. I really think I would just crush at fantasy football. Very good. So lesser known orders such as the Nordic dragon Rouge, founded in 1989, see the left hand path as quote, the dark side of magic.

About the left hand path, the dragon Rouge said. It emphasizes the unique, the deviant, only exclusive. Its method is dark magic and antinomianism. Antinomianism. What does that mean? It means going against the grain, anti-nomianism. Antinomianism, the goal is to become a God, man becomes a God when he ceases to be a creation and instead he becomes a creator.

So, and that jerky is going to be $1.45, we got to sell you get four for five. If you're going to get five bags of jerky, it's really important you want to get that one extra bag off the price there. So how long have you been working at 7-Eleven exactly? 25 years. 25. Yeah, I know one day this black magic is going to get me out of here. Quick question.

Have they ever given you a paycheck? Not a single one, but they said it's about, it's a job, it's a badge of honor. Okay. I'm here for the love of it. Maybe free roller dogs. Oh, the free roller dogs, you bet. I'll tell you, I'll tell you, thank you for that. Certainly not my feet because I lost them to diabetes.

Yeah, unfortunate. The most famous member or I guess the most famous practitioner and certainly possibly the first practitioner to be well known in the west of the left hand path was Alistair Crowley. Now again, Alistair Crowley was the real deal. He's a genuine, I don't know what his, he's British, right? He's a real British badass. He's fucking, he really was all about magic.

He was working on the right hand path, working with the hermetic order of the Golden Dawn. As soon as he started realizing these nerds were in charge, he was like, fuck this and just bounced. He was just like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You guys had it all wrong because it's like we could totally use this to get pussy. Yeah. And in his case, lots and lots of piles of dick. Well, let's go over how exactly that Golden Dawn split.

See, he was a part of the Golden Dawn in his early days of magic. He had the name Fretcher Perderabbo, which means I will endure till the end. I never come, and I never will. Yeah, what does it even mean to endure till the end? It means you don't come. Yeah, it means you endure till the end. But then at some point it ends. Like a cockroach.

I see. So his balls and his cock were the cockroaches of all sexual organs. Can you imagine someone being like getting back to somebody's house after a date and then opening up their pants and his dick is just a pile of broaches. They endure till the end. You know, my cockroach dick can last through a nuclear holocaust. Yeah. So Crowley's mischief began in April of 1900 when a schism between Mathers, the founder

of the Golden Dawn, and other members of the Golden Dawn happened. Now, if I'm correct in this, Henry, it's like you were talking about in the last episode where this guy suddenly created a bunch of new secret chiefs, right? He created it. Actually, Mathers created this idea of the secret chiefs was it was immediately when they started the Golden Dawn, it was basically already over because he said that all rules and all formations and all ceremonies were okayed by the secret chiefs that only he could speak to and that he created his own separate order and it all had to be like, if you wanted

to do something or if you wanted to get to the next level, you'd have to ask Mathers and then he'd go to another room and be like, I've got to see what the secret chiefs say. And then he goes in there and then just stays there for 30 seconds to approximate how long it would take to talk to the secret chiefs and then he'd come out and be like, give me $5. Who follows these idiots now, right? These other idiots. Other idiots.

But they're the smarter idiots. You know how it is. You know how someone can be so smart that they become stupid? Right. That's what these are. That's what these people are. They're the nerds that are just can't, they're socially very, very dumb. Alistair Crowley just happened to be a modern man in the sea of like weird 1800s years old

fucking spiritualists and it was just like, oh, no, no, no, you're not my boss. Yeah. No, no, no, no, I'm going to leave. Yeah, exactly. So on the orders of Mathers who had told Crowley that if you help me in this task, then I will raise you up to fifth degree Golden Dawn. Because Alistair Crowley showed up and was kicking ass. Yeah.

He showed up, he did everything right. He was studying really hard. He flew through all of the first three orders of the Golden Dawn. He started joining up. It was also, it wasn't the OTO, he was in another group as well. No, he was the OTO. He started with the OTO as well. He was all over the plot.

He was a real Dion Sanders of magic. Right. And then he was get to this final level and like Mathers is like, oh, I will do it. It says, don't worry, Alistair, all of you will be taken care of. I'm sure it's just going to be a mere triviality to the secret team. To advance you to the next stage. Yes, but of course, Crowley had to do a job for him first. For the schism had already happened.

Crowley, and this woman named Elaine Simpson, a.k.a. Soror Donorum de Dispensatis Fidelis. Who was actually pretty hot. The whole thing to me just sounds like a bunch of people who pretends to be renegades. But in reality, they just follow a very similar structure as a fraternity. It's like rich kids throughout the years. It's always been this way. Right. There's nothing a rich person loves more than to follow rules for some reason.

Because if a rich person follows rules, they just stay rich. Yeah. You know, poor people have to break the rules. The thing about Alistair, so but Alistair Crowley realized that thought like a poor person and it's like I could bust up out of the shit. Exactly. So the name of Elaine Simpson, her name meant she is a faithful steward of God's gifts. Boring.

The two of them broke into the second orders meeting room, attempting to seize order property on behalf of Mathers. We basically went in an act of magical war against the Golden Dawn in the most nerdy way possible. So two days later, Crowley, after he was chewed away his first time, he had a direct confrontation with the poet William Butler Yates, a.k.a. Frater Damon Est Desus, in versus a.k.a. Inside Out Brother Demon, I think, which I think that was my own. I tried to, I mean, I put into the Latin translator and I checked out some different, I guess,

interpretations of what these certain words are. Inside Out Brother Demon is the closest I could come. Those are just words together. Yes. That's not a, it seems like the number four on a gay prostitutes menu. Yeah. Inside Out Brother Demon, that'll be $500 and it will take me two weeks of recovery. Okay.

We can do it. I only got two hours. So joining him this time was Edward A. Hunter, a.k.a. Frater Hora at Simper, a.k.a. he will always be my brother. So Crowley arrived in a kilt, a black mask, a plaid shawl thrown over his head and shoulders, and a huge gold crossed on his chest and a dagger by his side. I just want to see the costume changes or the outfit changes before he left the house. Yes, yes, yes.

Like what did he put on? He was just like, not going to work. So these is the most magically terrifying. I don't know, Alistair, but I'd love for you to put on some underpants. Yes, but what about my phallus? So what does your roommate Alistair do exactly? I don't, I don't know, man, but he keeps weird hours and it's like, he's always doing stuff. There's always, it sounds like it's either a woman or a high-pitched man's voice, screaming

in there all the time and he's, but he also plays a lot of civilization. Huh. He pays rent on time though, huh? Yeah, every time. So the poet Yates was able to keep Crowley from entering the order's premises. So Crowley called up Constable to help him get inside. The Constable advised him to call a lawyer. Basically a cop showed up to a bunch of nerds in costumes yelling at each other and he's

like, he will not gain entrance into the second order chalice room. And he's just like, that's how you will. I have the power of the name behind me. I mean, while some cops like call a wizard lawyer or something. I got shit to do, you know. So soon after that, the order, they passed a decree to expel Mathers Simpson and Crowley. And while Mathers and Simpson would fade into history, Crowley's career was just beginning. Yeah, it was like when Sarah Silderman got fired from Saturday Night Live.

It was the best thing that could have happened to her. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Where's Nora Dunn now? Nora Dunn is terrible. Is she dead? Well, inside. Jan Hooks. Jan Hooks.

She is dead. That is unfortunate. Yes. Ripped apart by a pack of dogs. Really very, really sad. Don't go into the forest wearing stakes. So after the Golden Dawn fell apart, Crowley truly came into his home, filling the magic vacuum left behind with his practice of thalema.

So thalema would be the leading esoteric discipline until the rise of Wicca in the 50s and 60s, following the repeal of the British Witchcraft Act in 1951, which forbade the practice of witchcraft. That is a really cool meeting of parliament. They'd be like, we must ban these witches. Yes, witches are definitely the biggest scourge in all of Great Britain. My main problem, but forgive me, Congresswoman, but shouldn't we focus on some of the dental care, because my teeth are jagged and horrible and my breath smells like the inside of a

dead animal. It's just like, no, no, no, witches are the problem. The witches are what gives us our pacy skin and our sallow balls. That's right. That's why all British teeth look like individual tombstones, still jagged and rotten. So since the 1950s and 60s, magical practitioners in the 20th century have for the most part been split into either disciplines with philemic, aka left-hand roots, or with Wiccan, aka right-hand roots, gods within versus gods without, internal versus external, bitchin' versus groovy, sex

pistols versus Peter, Paul and Mary. In either way, man, I like all of it. Yeah, me too. I'm kind of it, but then we're chaos magicians, but we'll talk about that in the next episode in the series. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. You're officially a chaos magician now.

I don't want to, labels. I would highly recommend not saying it ever. No, no, no, no, no, no, we can say it here on the podcast because this is a safe place. Yes. It goes out to a bunch of people. Oh, no, no, no, no, but they don't really listen. So although some Wiccans, they do tend to fall into the left-hand path equals black magic, equals evil camp, most modern magicians don't subscribe to the whole black equals evil,

white equals good trap. The respectful ones, at least, merely see them as two different approaches. Chaos magicians, the ones with rationality. Exactly. Yes, we are among the most rational. I mean, and I did come on a piece of paper one time. Yeah, I feel it. And then Marcus has always eaten the goddamn stuff.

I mean, the whole world's falling apart. He's just looking for a spice to life. He's got ball and chain. He's got some day job where he's a producer of a fucking podcast that works. And he's in some sort of goth country, man. There's nothing cool about that. He's got to spice it up by eating his own cum. Everything you describe before him eating his own cum is very cool.

So let's start with the Lemmick magic. So the Lemmick practice of sex magic derives specifically from a spiritual event that occurred during Alistair Crowley's visit to Cairo in 1904, covered in the episode The Great Be 666 oh so long ago. It involves a museum, Egypt and fucking an appointment. Now I find this very interesting because I went back to because when we covered Crowley a long time ago, that was before we were really good or at the level. I don't know if we're good at research yet, but you are very good at research.

I am not as good at research. I'm not as good. I'm better now than I was then. Absolutely. You're great at research. I'm just saying, I mean, it could be better. But back then I just watched the documentary and then went and did it. Yeah, that's what we did.

Now we really waste our lives that we're really burning up relationship fuel. Marcus Parks is the greatest researcher in podcast history. It's true. That is true. No, Dan Carlin beats me. What is wrong with you? He is very good. Hardcore history is very, very good.

But he has no life. Yeah, he's a loser. He's not a chaos magician like you two assholes. Chaos magician. No. Welcome to my nightmare, Benjamin. Oh, excuse me, I had to light a candle because I accidentally farted and blew one of them out.

I got to have kids soon because they'll love you guys. I started reading about Alistair Crowley and Thelma again. And I, because I really thought it was, I thought it was going to be much closer to the right hand path than what he took from Golden Dawn, but then I found out it is all about fucking. Yeah. It is all. And it is only fucking.

If you missed it, if you missed it, Thelma is Alistair Crowley's discipline that he created himself. Yes. Yeah. And it is definitely all about fucking 100% through and through. Right. So on this first fuck realization, I guess you could call it, him and his wife at the time went to Egypt and on March 17th, 1904, Crowley invoked the Egyptian deity, Toat,

the God of wisdom. And for the following three days in their hotel room in Egypt, a semi-invisible Egyptian deity named Awas said to be a messenger of Horus dictated a document to Crowley over three separate sessions that would eventually become Lieber Al-Vellegius or The Book of the Law. It's actually a very interesting little story. If you really read about the birth of the book of the law, his wife, talk about, if you want to talk about supportive, she was there for this whole thing.

In a hotel room. In a hotel room. She actually received the visions while he meditated and she said, we have to go to this museum and go invoke Toat. They go, he sees this hieroglyph, some weird piece of art with Toat on it and it's like exhibit 666 and that's what caused him to give himself the name of the Great Beast and that he saw the Toat thing. We cover this in the other episode, but it's very interesting how they were both nuts.

Totally crazy, but you know this is one of the areas where I do have a massive amount of respect. Is it nonsense? It's total nonsense. It's obviously just a ploy to get laid, but he did do it. He did do it. He wrote everything down. I mean, he was a real, dare I say, go getter.

I would also say the big thing is believe in your magic, believe in yourself, believe in your hallucinations. If you, this is true. Honestly, what is real? Yeah, exactly. You want to be a magician. You're going to say a lot of shit like this when, when, when Marx and I talk about writing in our magic journals and we talk about a vision we had, like I wrote last night, I

had a dream about a magic mirror that I envisioned in my house and then I went online looking for the same mirror and I found it. I found a mirror just like it on fucking Etsy and I bought it. So I'm going to put it up in my house and like, but you have to start believing in these images in order to fill them with meaning and that's what makes you, that's all it takes to make you a magician and Alan Sir Crowley got a butler to come to prove it. So when you get a show on NBC, you too can waste your money. Brilliant idea, Henry.

Just buy everything you dream about. So as we've said many times before, the main tenet of the lemma is do what thou wilt is the whole of the law. Love is the law. Love under will. And about magic as a whole, Crowley said, a man who is doing this true will has the universe to assist him, which is pretty fucking cool. That is cool.

That means that an individual's true will, capital T, capital W, is that person's authentic spiritual purpose and it also confers a sense of identity as Crowley said. The first principle of success in evolution is that the individual be true to his own nature. Absolutely. Right. And Crowley believed his experiences in Cairo and the subsequent writing of the book of law represented the birth of a new aeon in the history of mankind's spiritual evolution.

There's been three so far. The first was the aeon of Isis, which is a matriarchal age characterized by the worship of lunar deities. That was shut down pretty hard. Pantheism, that was shut down super hard. The second was the aeon of Osiris, which was the patriarchal age, Judaism, Christianity, Buddhism, and of course, Crowley believed that he brought this age to an end. This is what he said about the ending of this ayah.

I peck at the eyes of Jesus. I flap my wings in the face of Muhammad. I tear at the flesh of the Indian and buddhist. I spit at your crappulous creeds. That's right. Woo! Nobody's safe. Now when you've got Alaser Crowley, the roast master, he's a real Jeff Ross.

So Crowley punctuated that statement with a ceremony in which he baptized a toad as Jesus Christ and crucified it. So in the back of his head the entire time, he's thinking like, they know I'm just making this shit up. Like, when are they going to bust me? Every magician knows that. If they really do believe that, again, this is a chaos magic principle, we'll talk about this later.

It's more like discordianism. We will talk about this later. But if everybody knows this is full of shit, but it's about in the act of doing it, you make it real. He did. He went and caught a toad, which is difficult, and to dog meat, scary, terrifying. And he crucified it, which is again, but going at sea right now, look up frog crucified, and you will find it.

That's how easy. That's a modern day. I agree with you. Think about the 20th century. A quick tip here. Never give a magician a pen. You'll never get it back. No, no, no, no, no.

Or when they ask for money. No, no, no. Because all magicians are not paying bills. For some reason, I feel like when a magician gets home and takes off his jacket, just nothing but pens fall out. Just 100. I've done my tricks for the day. Yeah, pens and lighters.

He's just a TD bank, constantly taking all the green pens. Nothing like a free pen. I mean, banking at TD bank. Allusion. The third age would start in 1904 when, uh, Crowley was blessed with these visions. It's our current age. The third age is the Aeon of Chorus, the divine child. And rather than external emphasis, this Aeon is represented by internal forces, true self,

the power of will, Crowley said, Be strong, O man, lust, enjoy all things of sense and rapture. Fear not, the funny God shall deny thee for this. And he discovered that after getting fucked in the ass in the desert. And this is how he wrote about it. I do love this. He wrote a journal entry about it. About, so when he was, go back and just clarify the last statement.

What was he saying? Fear not that any God shall deny thee for this. So what he's saying is do whatever you want. Don't think about any sort of divine consequence. Yeah, live your life, girl. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, do you girl? That's what it's about. It's about doing you.

So it's a hashtag YOLO. Hashtag YOLO. Yeah, okay. That's what it is. Always. Yeah. Oh man, if he had hashtags. Oh man, that book of the law would have been full of fucking hashtags.

The book of the law is difficult to read and purposely so because it's horseshit. Um, he wrote, so he wrote this about in his book Confessions about how, so as we remember, power bottom of all time, Alison Crowley. Power bottom of the year. Yes. My older brother is the power bottom of all time. Man, he all six foot seven in heaven, huh? Six eleven.

Just fucking. That's where the power comes in. Just fracking his body like a whip up against the base of that dick. Fort Lauderdale gaze. Jesus. The other guy just has to like stand against a wall. I'm afraid I would put a little helmet on so he doesn't get injured. I feel like I would stick my dick in and his ass would grip on my dick and then when he

snapped to fucking hump me himself against me, I would flap like a towel. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what happens. That is great. But at the end of the day. He got married, but he did get married though, right? No, he's engaged. My brother, my middle brother got married. He's not a power bottom.

That is really, really lovely. So yeah. So he's the Spearer. Yes. He's the skewerer. That's what they call him, the skewer, yes. That's his gay nickname in all the hot clubs. Slided in that fucking razor hot beef.

Thanks for the images. The skewer. Like a fucking hot knife through butter. Just my male brother. They call him the squistle. Squistle. And so this is how Crowley wrote about his act of being skewered in his round bottom. We accordingly took loose rocks and built a great circle and scribe with the words

of power and in the midst we erected an altar and there I sacrificed myself. Bracket, submittional sex and bracket. The fire of the all-seeing sum, bracket, Newberg's penis, that was his acolyte and bracket, smoked down upon the altar, bracket, his asshole, close bracket, consuming every particle of my personality, bracket, massaged his prostate until he came in his pants and bracket. I'm obliged to write in hieroglyph of this matter because it concerns things of which is unlawful to speak openly under penalty of the most dreadful punishment, which is just being locked in a prison with a bunch of other gay guys.

Sodomy, sodomy laws were quite strict back then. Well, and this is the UK, right? Yeah. Yes, it was illegal to be gay. No theater for a week. The government has punished you. You do not get to see theater for a week. We take your tiny dog and we shave off its beautiful new haircut.

Right, no one wants a bald dog. If you're walking around with a bald dog, everyone knew you just had anal three weeks before. And remember, everybody, the man that was a part, Newberg, that was a part of that ritual, he went insane from that power bottoming. Damn, damn, damn. He lost his mind. Oh, God, fucking tight as a drum back there.

Do you think he was crazy first or then the after? No, he was actually a very, he was somewhat of a dainty boy. He was a poet. He was kind of a high class, not really, didn't really have much experience in life at all Crowley just because let's let us say right now, Crowley was an evil, terrible person. He broke people like he took that dude out there, he filled him full of drugs, he made him fuck him in the ass, which is the worst that he let himself be fucked and it was like he was raping the other guy.

And he just dragged this guy through and I will just put it shortly. He was not ready for that jelly. That's what Newberg was. I mean, if the other guy is having sex with him on top, I mean, obviously the man knew what he was doing. He was rock hard. He was enjoying the Crowley sex. I don't know.

I don't know if he was because now when Alistair's being like, you can't fuck me well enough. I came on accident. But he specifically chose people that were easily manipulatable and so he took him out there and broke him down. He broke down his personality and then left him in the desert and then meanwhile he goes with this walking stick to Mexico. Yeah, cool. So Crowley's life and career as a ceremonial magician would focus on the ongoing personal

quest to find the ideal whore of Babylon or scarlet woman as she would be known throughout the years with whom to enact the philosophy or the lemma or magical will. And it's very interesting and this is where people will fight him later on, which we're going to talk about is how he would use prostitutes often and the whole point is that and it's very interesting. It's very similar to sort of what they say about like when gay men hate on women. Where it's just like he looked at women as tools, like he did not view them as sacred parts of the magic.

He viewed men as using the sex magic on women and that they were there just to be whores and that's what would make the magic happen is someone taking mastery over a woman. And they sound like the most important part of the puzzle. No, they're the ones who they're the ones who know that they're the catalyst. The come is the come is the most important part of the puzzle. So what Carly believed is that there was one who was worthy, the scarlet woman. Would there would be one who would be like his worthy partner in the lemma who would make the lemma real.

So it's like the gay middle manager from Breckenridge, Missouri, who's just like, I just haven't found the one yet. That's my problem is that once I found my true bow, when I find that two girls I will feel my heart. I can stop all this ugly sound of me. I hate it when I'm big, but really, I hate it when his musty ass tickles on me, I hate it. I just like it.

I want a woman, a big bastard woman. Sounds like one of those guys who has a bunch of dog collars in the house, doesn't own a pet. So the book of law, besides just philosophy, also contain instructions relating to ceremonial offerings associated with sacramental sex magic, specifically the preparation of what later came to be known as quote, cakes of light. Here is the recipe. For perfume, mixed meal and honey and thick leavings of red wine, then oil of a Bremelin

and olive oil, and afterward softened and smoothed down with rich, fresh blood. The best blood is of the moon, monthly, then take the fresh blood of a child, all dropping from the host of heaven, then of enemies, then of the priest of the worshipers, last of some beast, no matter what, this burn of this, make cakes and eat unto me. I'm Billy Maze with OxyClean, does that ever happen to you? OxyClean, Billy Maze here, OxyClean gets all sorts of mixtures of semen and menstrual blood and olive oil out of any sheets, I'll wear these are ropes, well you're gonna need some Clorox for that, I'm sorry, OxyClean's getting the fuck out of this.

Take it from me, Mr. Alistair Crowley, I've come and bled all over all of my clothes and thanks to OxyClean, I can still get a job. So while all of that might sound sinister, Crowley in the later verse wrote that the quote, fresh blood of a child was quote, Babylon and beast conjoined, meaning the ingredients of sexual congress, semen from the male and gluten from the woman's vagina, or as he called it, the privy chapel, privy you know means bathroom, yes and gluten from the woman's vagina by that I mean pussy juice. Now this is some of my favorite stuff here, it's because he wrote about, there were so

many, he had to write it secretly, he had to write about sex magic secretly because all the weird like appropriation laws or whatever they had in the UK, also it goes down to the ancient secret schools idea of you write things in allegory and a part of the master apprentice relationship is teaching the allegories to someone else as they mean something, they're all code for something and so he had so much code for sex and these are some of my favorites, one was he would call it gluten of the white eagle, which is the sex fluids, which is pussy juice and pussy blood, you'd call blood of the red lion was his reference to semen, right and that oftentimes you'd call for you to make the holy hexagram, which is an instruction

that the man and woman would interlock their heads and bodies in a mutual oral sex position to form the shape of a hexagram, and he would also call this the double gift of tongues and making the rosy cross, we got a video of these things so that people can see the disgust on my face with these names and also one of my favorite passages in this in this text here that he would talk about how this is how he described the use of a magic sigil, which is the we're going to see the birth of sigil magic from Thilema, let him sit and conjure, let him draw back the hood from his head and fix his baseless eye upon the sigil of the demon, then let him sway the force of him to and fro like a satyr in silence until

that word, close, burst from his throat, that which fluttered him is the infinite mercy of the genetor, genetrix of the universe, where if he is the vessel, here comes juice, made the soup, and at some point then they're just like, so I guess we should just give Papa John's then, after you come like what do you do after like we had the hexagonal sex, I guess you're just like now it's time for a meat pie, do you want to watch the unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, I haven't seen the second half of the first series, where do you go from there, I hear orange is the new black is very good in this new season and yes, I could check out the band that you were speaking of earlier, I can't really

recall what it was, but I am willing to go on a further date with you, I guess if you were to leave now, the whole time he's shoving his prolapse butthole back into his own body, oh I seem to have left my scarf loose, oh and by the way if you are using a blood of the moon monthly, it is menstrual blood, fresh menstrual blood is considered optimal, I love it, you don't get it fresher than in Brooklyn, who's keeping it around, I get people, you know I have been tempted, to what, you've been tempted to what Henry, to keep your girlfriends menstrual blood, one of the other techniques that you're supposed to do in sex magic and this is true, you're supposed to come inside the woman and then suck it

out of it, and I have been, it's not a coconut, we're not in the jungle, you don't put a straw on the goddamn thing, you're not thirsty, you're not next to salt water, but that's the magic, suckin' your own cum out of a woman's vagina, magic, what I'm done with you to, I'm over it, Marcus you ruined Henry, I just love how upset you're getting in this episode, it's pretty good, you're so uncomfortable, you know what it is, I'm not uncomfortable, it's just you're my friends and then I hear you talking and I know you're serious, I hear how hard you are, I am Rockhard, I will admit, I am Rockhard, so the whole point of Crowley's sexual magic is that he believed that it could enable the practitioner to focus on a specific

goal or outcome while having sex, the magician would dedicate the sexual activity to the goal of the magic ritual and hold the image of the goal in his mind at the moment of sexual climax. And because this is what they're talking about, is that the way they equated it was that the magic involved in sex magic is, the idea is that sex mimics the creation of the universe, mimics the mother and father figures in the cabala mixing together and creating the sun. And so yeah, so that's, you would just take it again as above so below and that's also

where this comes, Alistair Crowley created the idea of as above so below. So instead of the big bang theory, it's the power bottom theory. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, it's the big bang theory and in our case it's more of the mediocre bang theory. Yeah, yeah, yeah. With a lot of cunnilingus involved because you gotta build up to the mediocre bang. Right, it's the kind of trying to get, trying to get it big theory, yeah, I know that one far too well.

So at that very moment that the energy raised during the ritual would be directed toward the goal by the magical will. And in this way, the sex magic practitioner would be able to quote, wed the image and the magical power. And many of you out there will be pleased to hear, you do not need a partner to do this. Get a partner though, don't make this be an excuse if you just do it man, it is better because that's the thing, it's like luckily it's just like if you could meet someone who's into it, but I would say what you gotta do is find someone who supports you in this and

don't just land and don't just drop it on them like three years in, you know what I mean? So although the first western magical order to use sex magic was the Ordo Templi Orientis or OTO, Crowley was the one who came in and truly revolutionized it particularly within the OTO itself. Well it's very interesting because Crowley did start with the OTO and when he wrote the book of the law, one of the heads of the OTO went to Crowley and was like, you cannot reveal our secrets of sex magic and Crowley who had not gotten to the ninth order of

the OTO was like, what are you talking about? I made all this up so I could fuck all the time and do magic and he's just like, no that was the secret, the big ninth level secret of the OTO was sex magic was the way to reach the Godhead and then when they realized that he didn't know about it, they made him leader of the OTO. That's how you get a promotion in the magic world. Just not knowing anything? He fucked his way to the top like Julia Roberts.

She didn't fuck her way to the top, that's a movie, that's pretty woman. She sucked the Weinstein's Cox in her room. She didn't suck the Weinstein's Cox. Julia Roberts is famous for fucking her way to being a celebrity. That is actually true. Look it up. That's the movie with Richard Gale. No, no, I'm not talking about that.

She fucked to get that movie. She didn't even fucking that movie. You don't even want to know what she did to get Mystic Pizza. What did she do? Show her tits to a random bus boy? She ate a plate of shit. She ate a plate of dookie. Julia Roberts ate a plate of human feces to get Mystic Pizza.

And that is, that may not be fact, but the fact is she did fuck a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. To get her job done. That's what's shaming. God bless her. God bless her. Absolutely. All right.

Well, that's a fact then, I guess. So yes, the OTO, as far as like the ninth order goes, they said that they could communicate in nine degrees the secrets not only of Freemasonry, but that of Rosicrucians, the Illuminati, the Order of the Hidden Church of the Holy Grail, the Knights of the Holy Ghost, the Church of Saint John Amalta, the Holy Sepulcher, pretty much any order that they could think of, they told people, we will give you every single secret that they have by the time you get to the ninth degree. And the ninth degree was sex magic.

And the reason why they were so impressed with Carly is that he knew without being told. He had come upon it all on his own, so they thought it's kind of a chosen one type situation. Yeah. He was the Neo. Yeah. Of ass sex. Right, right, right, right. So the split between Carly and the OTO was that Carly thought that these ideas should

be made public, although it is much more likely that Carly saw that he could just use these ideas to gain himself attention and notoriety. We're not really covering this in this episode, but Carly really did use New Papers and his reputation in order to sell his own magic. Yes. He was such a public figure. That was the thing. All of these guys like to be secret.

It was all like, they viewed it as like this thing that they did. It was a private exercise. They did it away from everybody. They thought it made it more magical to do it without public knowledge, or Carly lived the magic. Right, yeah. But he projected like it was secret. I mean, that's one of the great, like reality television, but it's not real.

If you really want to just live a life, you just live it. Yeah, exactly. If you look at, yeah, because it says this, reality TV, if it was real, wouldn't have a script supervisor credit. Right. On there. Exactly. They have a story editor credit.

So during this time, just for some context, for me personally, Crowley, was he a celebrity? Yes, he became famous. Was he famous in his real life, when he was alive? Oh, yes. He was more famous when he was alive than he was when he was, than he is now. Then he dropped, then he picked back up in the 80s when heavy metal really started incorporating his images into stuff, but he was kind of along the level of like Salvador Dali, where Salvador Dali was an artist, but then became a celebrity artist, and that's what he was.

So would you, you would equate him with a performance artist? Yes. Oh, yeah, absolutely. His whole life was magic, and that's what they talk about a lot of times with the left hand path and into chaos magic, about living the symbol, and he became that he was the full embodiment of Thilema. He was Thilema. I would really compare him more to like say, I don't know, like a band like the Sex Pistols.

Like when the Sex Pistols first came to America, or first, their only tour of America, every town had newspaper articles of that day, the Sex Pistols are coming. The Sex Pistols are here. No one really knew who the fuck the Sex Pistols were, or what their music sounded like, but they were such a scary brand that people would come and they would protest their concerts before they even began, before they even got off the bus, and that would be the same thing with Crowley, is that newspapers would come out and say, the great B666 is here, and newspapers called him the wickedest man in the world, and of course, when the first time a newspaper

called him the wickedest man in the world, he was just like, perfect. Excellent. Excellent. You gave me from PR, you are fired. Yeah. So it was all part of his brand. Yeah. And I'm sure at some point he had a terrible case of diarrhea and just didn't feel like

the worst person in the world. I don't feel like being the wickedest man in the world today, can't I just be Al? Tough days. So in addition to the public nature of Crowley's teachings, the OTO also had boundaries, wearing Crowley had none, like ISIS. Modern-day ISIS. Yeah. So the idea of proper behavior in sex magic takes us even back before the Golden Dawn

to the illegitimate son of a wealthy Virginian and a slave named Flora, man named Pascal Beverly Randall. Now this is the guy who did all the sex magic, but you have to do everything with your frumpy wife. Yeah. It's been going on, sex magic has been going on in the West since about the mid-1800s, and it arguably began in the United States when Pascal Randolph published a book called Ulyss.

Ulyss? No. It's like Ulyss with an exclamation point. Ulyss. And then the subtitle was The History of Love, It's Wondrous Magic, Chemistry, Rules, Laws, Modes, Mood and Rational, Being the Third Revelation of Soul and Sex. But the short title was Ulyss. Ulyss.

That's how you get him to stop and then you have a long time to explain it. That was his safe word. Yeah. It was also a problem because he also sounded like he made when he came. Yeah, Ulyss. I guess it was too late at that point. So he believed that sexual instinct was a fundamental force in the cosmos, but also believed that the sexual union could only become a metaphysical and sacred ritual if

it was done between a married loving couple and only when both have a full and complete orgasm. That is very nice. It's very nice. But the tantric part of it is involved, and a lot of times, because Crowley said this too, a lot of times the whole point was to withhold the cum. And so this one, he was definitely more about the cum and because he was probably a four minute man.

Yeah. I mean, you can go two different routes. I mean, you can hold, come in for 10 hours or you can just learn to come multiple times. Yeah. Yeah. Can you come multiple times? Totally. Oh my God.

Of course. I mean, I have, but it's always the second one's always like a... Yeah. Of course. You know, your cum takes to smoke and then it gets a little bit of a wheezer's cough there. You can come 10, 15 times. Some people do it.

If you want to. Yeah. Some people have that, you know, that fucking factory in their balls that really gets it going right after the first one is out. God, I always hate it when the government comes in and shuts down those factories. That's right. The middle class is suffering. So this guy had the same idea as Crowley.

Focus on a goal during an orgasm and the sexual energy could be harnessed to produce magical results. Randolph, Randolph believed that you could solve problems related to marital discord, money matters. You could prolong your life. You could eliminate diseases and you could even charge amulets with life force through sex magic. I mean, I do agree.

What is greater than, you know, having an orgasm with another person? I mean, it's the best feeling on the face of the planet. Yeah. I completely agree. It really is. Except for completing a really nice paper airplane when it really gets it. Yeah. It's really symmetrical, you know.

But isn't it all symmetry though? Hmm. Think about it. If you lay your tongue flat. That's how you, by the way, with the woman, put your tongue flat on the, uh, Flat? Yeah. Flat.

Yeah. That's how you, do you not know how to eat? We'll talk about that. We all have our different methods. Everyone's got a method. Yeah. Every, I know for a fact how to do it right. Tiny tornadoes.

Not tiny tornadoes. Tiny tornadoes. Is it a tongue twister? Tiny tornadoes. Tiny tornadoes. It's not a spelling bee. Shapes. No.

Flat, consistent, good speed. Pull it out, man. Some people have got different, different strokes for different, literally different strokes for different kinds of folks. Yeah, absolutely. No two women are the same. The flowers are all beautiful and they are all different, Ben. All deserve to be appreciated by the bees and the butterflies.

We're still talking about taking a girl out to Arby's, right? That's what we're discussing. Yeah. Okay. Love that horsey sauce. Well, one of the only real differences between the sex magic approaches is that Randolph was a bit of a prude about it, which isn't surprising considering how he was operating in the mid to late 1800s.

He maintained that masturbation and homosexuality wouldn't work and that it could only work between a loving heterosexual married couple. You have to admit this is a big first step in the West. Yes. To just to say that sex is good and okay and you can use it for something and it's not just for procreating. It's baby steps. I mean, Crowley jumped ahead of everybody.

Yeah. Because he wrote a whole book about gay sex and you find that every one of those books are, it was called like Libre Nine or something like that where he, it was all about gay sex and then he had a whole other thing that was about 69 it. Yeah. This guy's like the Mike Huckabee or Rick Santorum of Satanism. I mean, what's he talking about? But like it had fun, but not too much fun.

Everyone knows satanic sex is with a man and one woman. Everybody knows that. It's not satanic, Ben, it's Euless. Euless. I'm sorry. Euless. I'm going to have sacred sex with you, Euless. And only you.

Yeah. It sounds like a horse that everyone, they cut their hooves off of. Your only hope, Euless. I'm done. All right. If you don't win this race, we're going to have to put the jockey down. They should kill the jockey. Kill the jockey.

That's a good point, Henry. Well, sex magic wasn't the only thing that Crowley wasn't the first to do. He was also not the first to eat common period blood. Now as far back as the fourth century AD, the Syrian Bibionites, who were essentially Christian Gnostics, we'll get to in a bit, believed that releasing sexual energy was the true expression of Christian beliefs. And for them, consuming semen and menstrual blood during the Eucharist was a purer form of ritual communion than just using boronal crackers and wine.

Yeah. Crackers and wine was for the birds, common fucking menstrual blood, fast for people. Oh, it's very, yeah. Well, I also feel like there's a shortage of food that we're living in the desert. That is true. I mean, it's the fourth century. You making stuff will come out of your dick that not only feels good, it looks like icing. Yeah.

It tastes like gravy. Human bread. So the use of sex magic is, Jesus. I'm just going to discuss it a moment. But that's funny that you know that, Ben, because it does kind of taste a little like bread. I'm going to go ahead and, even myself, say stop eating, Marcus. Yeah.

Just don't eat, come anymore. I did it once. I just feel like we don't have to talk about it. There's a lot of them. If we're going to talk about it, this is the episode to talk about it. If I'm going to talk about it, I'm going to talk about it now or never. Dog meat was making his own dog soup. That's what you got to say.

Next time you're having sex with Carl, you'll be like, oh, time to serve up some ladle of dog soup. No. The images. No. I don't like it. Alright. Marcus doesn't have sex.

So the use of sex magic has continued throughout the years when it concerns the left hand path, mainly through the Church of Satan and its creator, Anton LeVay. Woo! Celebrate good times, come on. It's a seller, Satan. Yeah. Anton LeVay. Love this guy.

So Satanism does have also a path that extends back hundreds of years. Pre-LeVay and Satanists were more religious than magical, believing God to be the enemy with Satan as the hero. It's very interesting because the Gnostics and the Ysidis also believed in this concept. Yeah. Well, that's the thing, is that if you needed any more proof that the Bible can be interpreted to say pretty much anything you wanted to say, there's scripture to back this up. Since the very beginning of the Bible.

Since the very beginning of the Bible and since the very beginning of Christianity, see the great-grandfathers of Satanism, Christian Gnostics, were the first to point out these Bible verses. And the story of the temptation and the wilderness, the devil offers Jesus, quote, all the kingdoms of the world and the glory of them, with a very clear implication that he has that power, that he can do it, that he's not just lying to him, he's not trying to trick him, that if Jesus wants these things, the devil will give them to him. Absolutely.

And not the devil, Satan. Two very different things, two very different important things to say. It's like, God is the landlord and Satan is the super. Right. Actually, that's a very good way of putting it. Thank you. Yeah. And when Moses went through the desert for 40 years.

He was just lost. He should have had a fucking Google Maps. Yeah. And the manna from heaven was just come. Yes. Well, the Gnostics, they're New Testament people. Yeah. A lot of the Old Testament said, because that's what another thing that they look at the Old

Testament as, is that they look at, because the Old Testament God is evil. Like, he is an absolute. He's angry. He is an angry, evil prick all throughout. And that's what the Gnostics pointed towards, is that look at this guy, look at all of the awful things that he did. This Satan guy was only trying to bring us knowledge. He was only trying to show us exactly what's really going on in this world.

The key, the idea that God made, that Christian Gnostics were actually so pure that they believed that God made this flawed world. God made the world filled with sin and filled with disease and filled with bad luck. And that Satan was there to be, to help you stand it. Yeah. To be like, embrace it. Like, come with me. And like, this is also our description of Christian Gnosis.

And again, I always want to say, with these topics, hundreds of, of, of literally intellectual volumes have been written about these topics. We are not the first and foremost experts. No. No, no, no, no, no. Let us please once again stress this, that on all of this stuff, we are not the first and foremost experts. We are.

If you're- What's wrong with you people? Let's say- We are the experts on Christian, what do we don't even know? How do you spell Gnosticism, Ben? B-E-N. Oh, you are A-I-S-S-E-L. You're just being fun.

He is fun. You're feeling fun today. I am feeling fun. Thank you. And there's other things in the Bible to back this up. In St. John's Gospel, the devil is called, quote, the ruler of this world. St. Paul calls him, quote, the God of this world. And as I just said, it was also said that in Eden, Satan was trying to free mankind

from the evil God by encouraging them to eat from the true tree of knowledge. And some said that once one reaches Gnosis, Gnosticism, Gnosis, or a true understanding of the nature of this world, he or she could indulge in all of the lusts and desires of this world without fear of corruption. That's what they're saying, is that if you reached a true understanding of the world, then then and only then would you be able to yolo. All right. All right.

All right. Very good. Now that we broke it down to a hashtag, I can understand. See? I really enjoy it. See? And so while this idea would snake its way through the left hand path for centuries, it would reach its natural conclusion with modern Satanism.

So if the God of the Old Testament is evil, then it follows that the Ten Commandments were intended to keep humanity in subjugation to him. They organically came together. Like was Crowley a Satanist to begin with? No, no, no, no. So that had nothing to do with, like, so he was just a, he was a, you know, a magician type person. They didn't even talk about Satan, really.

The bridge to Satanism as a whole, I mean, of course we can do an entire episode about Satanism. It's Anton Leves, took the readings of Alistair Crowley and took all this stuff and met with a bunch of guys. They took the symbol of Satan as the adversary in order to Satanist, to Satanism itself is essentially a satirical religion that's used to make fun of organized Christian-based beliefs. Yeah, of course, but they also monetize it and in its own self as a religion. Yeah, but on purpose.

It's all on purpose. Right? Satanic Bible is hilarious. He, but the whole, Satan was just used in this context to be like, we're rooting for the Joker. Yeah. Was Crowley happy when the Satanist sort of pulled off in his point of view? He wasn't around for it.

Yeah, he was dead. Do you think he would have been happy with it? No, because it would have taken the focus away from him, because Crowley liked being the one. Right. He liked being the only guy. He would not have liked Anton Leves. No, he would have hated Anton Leves.

And the two of them... Because they get lumped together so much. But because it's one's a natural predecessor of the other, because Anton Leves also used the showmanship shit of it. Again, read about his life, it's very interesting. He was, you know, a corny and... Well, you believe that version of his life. There's a lot of conjecture as to what Anton Leves upbringing actually was.

It's pretty fun. It's a fun... But the idea is you keep him guessing. Yeah, you go. And that's the... But Alistair Crowley wanted to be all of it. He also took it deadly, deadly seriously. Anton Leves blew up the whole thing of saying this whole thing's a joke.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, and in response to those ten commandments, Anton Leves created the nine Satanic statements. Of course, we'd read them on here before, but they always bear repeating, Henry. Number one. Satan represents indulgence instead of abstinence. Number two. Satan represents vital existence instead of spiritual pipe dreams. Three.

Satan represents undefiled wisdom instead of hypocritical self-defeat. Four. Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it instead of love wasted on ingrates. Five. Satan represents vengeance instead of turning the other cheek. Six. Six. Six.

Satan represents responsibility to the responsible instead of concern for psychic vampires. Seven. Satan represents man as just another enemy. Sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all fours, who, because of his quote, divine spiritual and intellectual development, unquote, has become the most vicious animal of all. Eight. Satan represents all of these so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional

gratification. And nine. Satan has been the best friend the church has ever had as he has kept it in business all these years. Kind of a smug, kind of a smug nine- Oh, it's a smug religion. It's among the most smug, but later on we'll get to the guy who managed to make it even more smug.

Dear rules. Got to. Yeah, LeVay, it was all about having fun with it. He was a former, we do know that he was a former carnival barker, beautiful at the Calliope. And he really used, he really was a beautiful Calliope player. It's a Calliope. You can't be beautiful at that.

If you perfect it, it sounds terrible. It's a music, a clown dance, slowly too. Yeah, it's among my favorite. I've got a whole record of Calliope, quote unquote, hits that I listen to all the time. It's just a lonesome, echoey Calliope. If you get right next to him, they'll make you deaf. It's not for friends and family. Tried playing it for friends once.

No one wanted it. No one wanted it. It's bad at parties. So LeVay, he conducted services which began and ended with satanic hymns, a ritual invocation to Satan involving a naked woman as a, quote unquote, altar. It's pretty sweet. The typical ceremony would involve the ringing of bells, sprinkling the congregation with a mixture of semen and water, symbolic of the creative force, a sword and a chalice

rested strategically in the pubic area of the woman altar. It was all pretty metal. It was all pretty sweet. It was pretty Aussie. Usually when you get hit in the face with water, you're not happy. But then when you realize it could otherwise become, you're like, thank God. Okay, cool. All right, I'll take the water.

I'll take the water. Water to the face, yeah. So LeVay, he celebrated Christian sins as virtues for the practice of having things backwards, upside down, the wrong way around, or otherwise subverted, are at the essence of Satanism and its rejection of Christian values, hence the upside down cross, the subversion of the mass and all that sorts of stuff. He was all making fun of the self-seriousness of the Christian imagery. Yeah.

And although Satanists say that all sexual indulgence is good, most agree that that stops at hurting anyone else. Well, all good Satanists agree that it is, you're not supposed to hurt somebody else. You're not supposed to tread in somebody's territory. You're not supposed to make someone do something they don't want to do. Nobody's supposed to volunteer, because that's what makes it work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And LeVay and Satanism, it's not to be taken literally as Henry said.

It's more of a philosophy than a magical discipline. However, there are some Satanists who take the complete opposite approach, such as Michael Aquino of the Temple of Set. Yeah, this guy. Have you read the Temple of Set book? I know. I try to make it all the way through. There's a lot of fucking math in it.

Too much math, huh? Yeah, I just got to a point where I'm just going to go. Glaze over. Yeah. The Satanic Bible is hilarious. Again, it's so much fun to read. Snappy. Yeah, the Temple of Set manual is just like, oh, yeah, I can't talk about this to people

at parties. Yeah, that's for sure. See, the Temple of Set, they prefer a more philosophical approach to Satanism. In other words, they took all the fucking out of it. They took all the fun out of it. Right. So it was Crowley, then it was LeVay, and now this Aquino. Michael Aquino jumped off of that.

Yeah, Michael Aquino jumped. But like, they were contemporaries because what happened is they all got into a fight or something. Yeah, Anton LeVay said- Oh, and what a nerd fight that was. Yeah, they went to like a Benihana, and like, and they just got super mad that Anton LeVay kept bringing girls with no tops to the Benihana. He's like, no, it's an invocation ceremony.

It's just supposed to be sacred, and Anton LeVay is just like, I'm getting blown right now. Right. I wish you'd leave, Mike. Yeah. It was formed after Anton LeVay said in the Satanist newsletter that all higher degrees of initiation would only be available to those who make contributions of money, real estate, or valuable works of art.

Yeah, because he was making money. Now he's just like, oh, now we're doing this, oh, we want to make a secret club, you got to pay to be in the secret club, and there was no secret club. Yeah. Well, now it becomes a religion. Well, no. I mean, it was actually- He needed money.

He needed money. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He just needed money. Yeah. He was a carny. It was like the old PT Barnum trick, where you get people to pay $0.05 to see the aggress, and egress is just Latin for exit. So they'd go outside, and then they'd have to come back in and pay for admission one

more time. Right. It's all carny tricks. But this is how Aquino put the split between the Church of Satan and the Temple of Set. The Church of Satan has been an arrogantly insolationalist. The Temple of Set was cautiously philosophical. And so the Temple of Set, aka Nerd Satanism, was born. The change in name came from Aquino when he summoned Satan, who told him that the true

name of the Dark Lord was Set, an Egyptian god, and that he was to no longer use the quote, bastard title of a Hebrew fiend. That's what it says there, right? Yeah, that's what he wrote, is that Satan was the bastard title of a Hebrew fiend. Interesting. And Set told Aquino that he was the successor to Crowley, and was to be magus, fifth degree of the aeon of Set, whose sacred magical word was X-E-P-E-R, Zeper, but it was pronounced kefir, for some reason, which translates to, I have come into being.

Try to convince your whole fucking bake sale team to call you that. Right. So what was the rivalry? Was it very intense, the rivalry between these two living people? Yes, he did not enjoy Leve. They did not like each other. Yeah, they hated each other. But it was more Leve, just like, get the fuck out of here.

And Aquino would be like, I don't believe that you're using the ideas of Aleister Crowley in the ways that they were meant to. And then he believed that during one of his magical rituals, the Aleister Crowley, or that Set came to him at night and told him that, hey, you're the new Aleister Crowley, that old aeon, by the way, it was real fucking short, it was just like 1904 to 1970 something, 1980 something. We got a new, new one now. We got a new, new one.

And now you're the guy in the new, new one. It's the temple of Britney Spears, it's the new aeon of Middrifts. Yeah. Power pop. So the followers of, you know, Leve, did they ever go over to this other fella? Some did. Yeah, some did. There's always, anytime there's a schism, there's always a split.

Some people are going to jump to one side, some people are going to jump to the other. I can pretty much guarantee it was the ones that weren't getting away. Yeah, yeah, yeah. See, while Leve, he used Satan as more of a symbol, the temple of Set believes that their God is very real. They believe that Set will come to Earth. They want to open up the channels, which also fund that Michael Aquino worked for the US Army.

Look at that here in a second. They believe that the God was very tangible. You could have a very tangible power relationship with Set. And Lilith Sinclair, Michael Aquino's wife and high priestess, she called it a, quote, A very quiet, serene, beautiful touching of minds. Well, that's the idea that he wasn't necessarily evil, he wasn't here to destroy anybody. He was just super, super, super ancient. Yeah.

Right. Yeah. The temple of Set is a return to magic as an elite undertaking that sets them apart from others. They believe they're superior beings, the knowledge of a deeper universe. And they also believe that Setian magic can allow you to conquer death. Which brings it all the way back to the Golden Dawn. Yeah.

This brings it all the way back. The temple of Set is a return back to the days when you had to, like Henry said, understand all this stupid math that doesn't make any sense. It was about the elite-ness. It was about basically have to be like rich and powerful to even do magic. Yeah, exactly. And who do you think Crowley would choose as far as like the person who actually took his principles?

I don't think he would ever choose anybody. No. It's whoever he would fuck. He would, like, I guess he would see what Anton LeVe was doing and be like, I get it. But unless Anton LeVe was willing to suck his dick, I don't think they ever would have been friends. I see. Yeah.

It's like they ripped Crowley in half. I see. He went with the ritual side and LeVe went with the fun side. Crowley was the real deal. Right. Crowley was the guy who was the old school guy who made the new rules. He was like the, like, how would you put it? He was sort of like the Keith Richards.

Yeah. Yeah. And I would say that, yeah, Aquino is sort of like the Jason Mraz. And then Anton LeVe is like the black keys. He's like the guy from black keys. A little bit cooler. Maybe the fat guitar drummer there, the piano player. The guy from Blues Traveler?

Blues Traveler. No, the black keys. The guitar or the pianist on the black keys is fat now. Oh, wow. Yeah, you get a lot of that. That's great. I like to hear that. I like to see a fat musician.

Love it. And there's a bit of a coda to this episode. Some of you might recognize the name Michael Aquino from Satanism and the Government Part 1. Allegedly, he was involved in a government pedophile ring based out of the Presidio Army base where Aquino was deputy director of reserve training at the time. And while it's possible that Aquino got swept up in the Satanic Panic, this was like 1987, the evidence that Aquino was involved in some really terrible shit is pretty compelling

and coupled with his involvement with the government in the creation of Mind War, which is still used to this day. And also his claims that maybe the Nazis were quote, onto something with their magical ideas. Never say that publicly. He wrote it in a book. He had chapters and chapters and chapters about it. Well, you can't say the Nazis weren't onto something.

I mean, they were definitely... I mean, they were onto something. So that's terrible. I don't know. It sounds positive. No. Yeah, it's not. Yeah.

I mean, yeah. Like he was saying they were onto something like in a positive way. Yeah. Kids at a sock hop. I mean, they were onto different things than that. Yeah. But they were never right about whatever it is they were onto. You know what I mean?

It's not like they kind of... Because it sounds like you're singing. The Nazis really had it going on. Yeah. That's what it sounds like. Yeah. So let's say here... Well, I think we can say here at last podcast that we're not what you'd call a Kino fans.

So in other words, when you hail Satan, please hail responsibly. Realize what you're doing. Yeah. Okay? Which is having a great time, living a heavy metal life, getting laid with somebody else or with yourself. I'll say that. I'll even say that.

It's not getting laid. That's... No. I'm going to give you the credit of saying you were choosing to masturbate yourself because you could maybe not even masturbate that day. Yeah. You could have been yourself just sexy enough to make yourself hard. Yeah.

That's what I'll say about masturbating for a living. You don't look at yourself when you masturbate. You close your eyes and fantasize. You're going to at least like your dick a little bit. Mm-hmm. You don't like it enough to touch it. No one looks at their dick when they masturbate, though. I'm sure some do.

Huh. All right. Well, that is an interesting episode. Yeah. That's the left hand path. We're going to be covering Chaos, Magic, Cure, and the Future. We don't know exactly when it's going to be because next episode, episode 200 is... It's going to be a special one.

You guys are going to absolutely love what we're doing. So, okay. So, I'm with you. I'm... So, I... I support Crowley then, huh? Well, I would say more Levee. Levee.

But myself, I support Austin Spare. Why? It's a chaos. It's a chaos, magic thing. It's a whole chaos, magic thing. See, I don't really... You guys didn't both have girlfriends. You know, no other woman will talk to you.

I mean, personally, I think Levee's a little much. I think Levee's a lot of fun. But I also... I'm more of this... I'm more of this cybernetic view of magic, which is a form of magic, which is the idea that your neurons, as above so below, your brain is the exact same shape as the universe. And like the universe, your brain, you stimulate neurons and that creates butterfly effect type changes throughout the entire universe.

And that's how your magical will works. Mm-hmm. So, that's... You can follow Henry on Twitter. At HenryLovesYou. Amazing. Such a fun episode. Yeah, great episode.

Guys, don't forget, this Saturday, we're going to be in Washington, D.C. Yes. For the D.C. PodFest. It's going to be at 8 p.m. Go to dcpodfest.com to find out exactly where the show is. We're going to need to figure that out. Yes, we do.

We, as a matter of fact, tell us, find out where the show is and let us know, and we will be there. Yeah, you can get tickets at dcpodfest.com. Get them now because they are almost sold out. And we are definitely going to be drinking. Definitely. Definitely going to be drinking. It's time in Washington, D.C.

Guys, let us know what the fuck's going on. It's going to be an early show, so we're going to have a late night. So if anybody's got any clearance as well, get us into a building. I'd be pretty sweet. Right. Yes, that'd be wonderful. And the next day on November 8th, that is the Cave Comedy Radio Sausage Fest, in which you're going to have all of your favorite Cave Comedy Radio podcast doing a little

live thing downstairs in the garage. And hopefully this year we'll get one woman to come. One woman. I can't wait. I'm also single, so if you are a senator's daughter, reach out to me. I'm looking to date up. Yeah, that's a bit up. A bit up for me.

Maybe you want to make a lateral. No, no, not a congresswoman's daughter. Okay. That's the senator's daughter. I'm not asking for Malia here. I mean, are you going to try and date Malia Obama? No, no, I'm saying I'm not. I'm going for senator.

She is 17 years old, Benjamin. What is wrong with you, perverse? 17 years old trying to have sex with a president's daughter. Oh, leave it alone. We'll be in town though, so Malia, if you listen to the show, which I'm sure you do. Sasha's a big fan. And as far as thank yous this week, we got to thank Jeremy for sending us these amazing paper mache masks that are being hung up on the studio walls.

We're going to take a picture, put it on the Facebook group. Go join the Facebook group. And we also want to thank whoever sent us these amazing books, final warning, a history of the New World Order is one of the ones that I got, Bing got one about the psychosis of Nixon. Richard Nixon, a psychobiography. I'm actually going to read this book, and it will be my first book I've read since Confederacy of Dunces four years ago.

Mine is called, I've got three called UFO Religion, one called the UFO Files, and one called Ambassadors Between Worlds. I love it. The other ones I got were Men in Black, Aliens Among Us, Secret Black Projects of the New World Order, and the Special Collectors Edition of History Classics, Secret Society. I can't wait to have an even harder time talking to people. And those were shipped to us from Midtown Scholar Bookstore in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. That is incredible.

So check that out. Buy books from them. Reflections of a peacemaker, chapter nine, page 119, already my favorite sentence. Nixon's brother, Donald, had no trouble recalling that Dick was the peacemaker. So isn't that exciting? I'm afraid of this new chapter in your life when you start emulating Nixon. Oh, I can't wait. I am not a podcaster.

Yes, that is Midtown Scholar Bookstore, Used Rare and New Books in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. They're fucking amazing. And you can search their bookshelves and order online. It seems like, I'm looking at pictures of it right now, it looks like an amazing place. They've got a big Liberty Bell in there. So hail, sweet Satan, let him make changes in your life. You heard about how to do it today. If you're gonna eat, come, make sure you're thinking about making money while doing it,

because if not, you're just wasting cum. How much cum have you wasted this week, Ben? Not that much, sadly enough. I consider not a ounce of my cum to be wasted. Yeah. I waste quite a bit. All right. So hail yourselves.

Thank you guys so much for supporting the show. It's here on CCR Top at Roundtable Page 7. Sex and Other Human Activities, Henry's Show, check it out on NBC. It's on Thursday at 8 p.m. It's called Heroes Reborn. Yeah, but I'm dead and I don't know if I'm coming back. Did you die in the show? Oh, no.

I don't know if I'm coming back. Did you die? Yeah. I can't. And I don't know if I'm coming back. Guys, is Henry coming back? I don't know. And also, if you want a t-shirt, kavecomedyradio.com slash merch is where you go to for that.

And I think that's Hyalgene on that one. Hyalgene, follow Marcus Parks on Twitter at Marcus Parks. I'm Ben Kissel. Henry loves you. Hail Satan. Hail me. That's it. If you want to, go to kavecomedyradio.com.