Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 214: Chemtrails

Episode Date: March 3, 2016

It's rural America's favorite conspiracy theory on today's Last Podcast as we cover every facet of chemtrails from weather control to mind control and of course, the prevention of the next stage of human evolution.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last talk. On the left. That's when the cannibalism started. What was that? Are we good to go, Marcus? We are. Alright, welcome to the last podcast.

On the left, everyone, I'm Ben Kissel. As always with Marcus Parks, and we've got this other guy who's slowly losing his mind here. So you think you can trust the skies? Oh my goodness. How simple... How simple and sweet your life must be.

Well, I'm sorry because today we're about to peel back the sweet innocent baby-like diaper you keep your fucking baby rump of a life in. Alright, and we're gonna peel it back, and we're gonna see all the lumps of shit that's on your fucking baby life. And what you have to do... Baby life?

It's filled with sulfur and bromates. Alright, we're talking about... It's chemtrails. We're discussing chemtrails. I'm very excited for this episode to be done, so we can have our friend Henry back. Excuse me. Chemtrails.

Can we please call them by their proper name? Chemtrails is the pedantic conspiracy theory name they have been given by the government so that the rest of the population will not take it as seriously as it should be taken. Marcus, aluminum mirrors. And I'm going to my improv belt, and I will, yes, and.

Okay, good point. Well, the chemtrail conspiracy is one in which researchers who affectionately refer to themselves as chemies claim that the government, whether it be the national government or the New World Order, is using both military and commercial aircraft to sprinkle the air and thereby its citizens

with chemicals for various nefarious purposes. I will say, let me back up the government for one second if you would allow me to. Maybe it's not always nefarious. Sometimes the idea is that they're trying, for the sake of humankind, they're trying to use cloud mirrors to keep us from boiling alive.

Isn't that enough? Isn't that a sacrifice you're willing to give for a government? Are government scientists that they're sacrificing for you, cutting up aluminum all day? This is the same government that can't make a bridge that has bridges constantly collapsing

all around the country. That government, we can't have any. Baby life you live. Big picture, Benjamin. I see. It's a big picture. So what scientists, quote unquote scientists, claim to be chemtrails are those highly visible cloud-like streaks

that we see in the sky almost every single time we look up. And if one searches chemtrails on YouTube. Good luck having fun at the barber ever again because you will not shut up about it once. And guess what? It's clouds. No, no, no. It's clouds and steam.

I'm going to drop character for a second. It's steam. Oh my goodness. Well, that's what they say. They say that those little streaks are just created when water vapor from super hot jet engines react with the super cold air in the upper atmosphere. But there are quite a few.

And when I say quite a few, I'm going to go ahead and say hundreds, if not thousands of brave souls out there pointing their cameras at the sky and softly narrating what's really going on. Can we hear some evidence of that? I would love to. Let's hear one from a YouTube user,

Pastor Dave. Hey everyone, it's Pastor Dave. I'm on my back porch and the sun is going down. Great. I was going to look at the chemtrails. You can see how clear they've been spraying chemtrails everywhere. It's clouds.

I wonder what to expect. Clouds. It's clouds. It's the rain. Look at the chemtrails. Look at them. And as the sun's going down, you can get a clear view of them.

Oh God. They have been busy today. I have got to say, I am extremely jealous. Never a boring day for these people. Oh no. They're always finding something to discuss. They legitimately look at the sky with terror.

They believe that the clouds are harbingers of doom. That is how much drama. It's like why people choose to start doing crystal math that they've had like four kids and they've been working in the post office for fucking 15 years. It's because it adds instant drama in your life. You believe that now you are a private investigator and you're the only person in the world that can really

capture the fucking smoking gun. A real crazy Nancy Drew. I mean, he must have been, he seems very comfortable with the notion though. Almost sort of bored by it. Well, absolutely. No, but well, they're bored by it because they're bored of telling people about it.

First, they're very excited about it. Like, oh my God, I can't believe these chemtrails. And now they just feel like they're doing their civic duty. It's like fucking the wife that they're not attracted to anymore. It's like, okay. Is that the civic duty? Let's go through the motions one more time. It's like fucking your wife that you hate after 25 years,

but you're still going like, chemtrails and various harbingers in the room. And you're like, whoop, whoop, whoop. They come after 15 seconds. Civic duty was like going to helping the homeless or something in a soup kitchen. Okay, well, marital duty. How's about that?

Well, chemtrails are also a very classic conspiracy scenario where there are like three levels of the conspiracy. Where there is the rational conspiracy that we'll talk about first about weather modification. And then there's a middle one that's like, oh, they're using it to deflect the sun using nanomirrors. And then there's the big deep, deep, deep, deep, deep third level fucking refried bean section of the dip of conspiracy theory

that is black alien goo that was remade by things that we found inside of the engines of UFOs. And now we're using to seed planet Earth in order to allow aliens to live here more fully when they fully decide to come and reveal themselves. Either from inside the Earth or planet Nibiru. So the aliens are planning on coming down to Earth but they want to get their sludge down here first.

So when they get down, they have nice sludge puddles to play in. We're the movers. It's NASA or the intergalactic movers that are dropping their shit off here on Earth before they show up. They're the hunks hauling junk, huh? Yes. Well, you know, scientists not only do they claim that it's just water vapor, there's nothing nefarious about it,

and they also claim that furthermore, chemtrails are only created at heights of 5 to 10 miles in the atmosphere and that it is physically impossible for any chemical substance whatsoever to hold any sort of potency by the time it reaches the ground from that high up. But if you listen to literally thousands of sites all over the internet, including the one we're about to hear from now, gunsamerica.com, that's just what they want you to believe.

I got hard just from the name of the website because I just see, like, a gun jammed in the fucking two soft loaves of bread just in and out, in and out, and it's all covered with fucking half dough because it's lightly baked. Ooh, yeah, all wet on the middle. Put some mayonnaise on there. A big bird is on top of it, but an eagle with a fucking set of nuts on it.

No, I'm getting going. Yeah, Betsy Washington's sucking its dick. Right? Well, according to this article, posted on gunsamerica.com, chemtrails are the byproduct of quote, unquote, geoengineering in which most of the governments of the world, specifically China, Russia, and United States, are spraying chemicals in the air to control weather patterns.

Now, there is some truth to some of these ideas. They do seed clouds. Well, like most conspiracy theories, there is a glimmer of truth. And that's what they hold on to. They find that one tiny little glimmer of truth, that thing that they can 100% prove, and they extrapolate upon that. And geoengineering is both a fake and a real term. It's the same exact thing.

It's like, yes, they have websites like geoengineeringwatch.org, but I don't think just because it's a.org means that it's real. But then I was almost fooled for a second, where I was like, oh, this is like the government branch, and you go through it, and then you're like, oh, no, no, no, no. It has the sidebar like weird ads for the ration meals that they're supposed to sell to you so you could live in your bunker for ten years. And that's how you know it's not a legit website.

I love bunker food. When does, how long does it take before it gets anti-semitic? Usually on Guns America, for example. On GunsAmerica.com. Didn't find much anti-semitic stuff on there, but oh, we're definitely going to get to some anti-semitic stuff when we get to rents.com. Rents.com, though, is just a, and you've heard several people like,

when you go deeper into the ChemTrail research and stuff, they talk about how like, the only way a guy is legitimately a philosopher or scientist of ChemTrails is if he's been featured on rents.com. Oh, okay, absolutely. So this weather modification theory, it's definitely not as rare as you'd think. And in fact, I, if I were to pinpoint the most common conspiracy belief held

in rural America today, I'd put ChemTrails right up there with Obama is a Kenyan Muslim. I really would, because I actually know a guy back home that believes with 1,000% certainty. And he's just a regular dude. Normal dude, normal job, but he believes with 1,000% certainty that the government is using ChemTrails

to control the weather to cause droughts in Texas because they won't quote unquote, bend the knee to the cabal running the show. It makes a lot of sense. Hide in plain sight. That's right. Think about it. This is one of those think about it episodes, right? Because think about it.

Wouldn't you want them, wouldn't they want you to not believe that they don't believe that it's true. But then California is also having a drought, very different political philosophy. And that's where your ass is handed to yourself. What happened with that? You just did it to yourself because you don't have the data. You know where this guy, this guy's got the data

because he said the data. No, Marcus said he knew a friend who thought, what? Data. There's no data. You just said an opinion. That guy's got data because that's a friend of a friend. Absolutely. And as this guy says, of course,

then climate change does not exist. As GunsAmerica.com says, quote, global warming is absolute bullshit that only tree-hugging liberal moon bats believe. He believes that there are nano-microbots that are... No, no, he doesn't believe in the nano-microbots. No, no, no. He's more in the aluminum bromide barium camp. But he doesn't believe in climate change.

Absolutely not liberal moon bats. He also believes that bats on the moon are going to vote for Bernie Sanders. I don't know. So the weather modification claim, including GunsAmerica.com, they believe that the spray is composed of aluminum nanoparticles and barium, which is where we get to the conspiracy theory inside the conspiracy. Well, like Henry was saying, with the reflecting back on the Earth. The idea is that you fill the sky with tiny particles of aluminum or sulfur

that have a high reflective rate, and they basically create these sort of crystals. The idea is to reflect away the sun's rays in order to cool the planet Earth, which is retarded. Well, it sounds like a very smart way to do it. It just sounds like a guy's like, oh, you got to do, all right, yeah, all right, global warming, the problem is what we must do is defeat the sun. I say we build a hose 30 miles wide and 100 miles long and pull to that nefarious hot sun.

And we squinch it, we got to squinch it using nothing but God's own water. He gave us the fuel to stop that nefarious sun, because that's the problem, because I think roses are made for fags. And I refuse to believe as God would allow this furnace to grow all these little fag totems. Oh, for our pleasure, I hate to see it. As much as I hate the idea of wrapping my precious callous lips around the thick cock of my friend Jeff. Yeah, do you ever do that before with Jeff? I bet.

I bet you won or lost. Let me show you all the rubber I've collected. So actually, you know what? The only celebrity that's really willing to come out in support of climate change. Tila Tequila? No, Tila Tequila, she's a flat earth person. This one, we got Kylie Jenner from Keeping Up with the Kardashians, but the writer from GunsAmerica.com, he suspects that because of this, she's probably going to be suicided here pretty soon.

Can she be? Yeah, not because she lives in a soulless world. Now, if Kylie Jenner shows up dead, you know it's because of this. Not because she's like a reality star who's going to overdose on drugs? No. No, I mean, that's how they usually suicide people. Oh, I see. The fun way. That's good.

Yeah, that's the saddest thing. You get to have so much fun right before you die. That's not cool. That's not evil. She should be garotted. See, the author, he also cites an event that happened in October of 2013 in which 100,000 cattle froze to death during Winter Storm Atlas in South Dakota. He says that since these were South Dakotan cattle, they should have been used to this kind of weather. They should have been able to survive it completely. So the only reasonable explanation is that they were actually killed by chemically nucleated snow. Naturally.

Sure. Why not? That's what people, you know, whenever I'm cold, everyone's just like, you're from Wisconsin. I'm still a human being. Well, a part of the weather manipulation part of the Chemtrails saga, let's say saga. Sure. The story of Chemtrails is that it's a part of possibly, it's a weaponized, it's a, I'm trying to put it this way. It's a, it's a, it was supposed to, it's a post.

Bank card now. Or I should think less hard and I think the answer will come to it. The idea is that we're supposed to use Chemtrails in order to kill the crops also of other countries when we're fighting them in war. And so that's another thing is that they will drop chemicals down on plants that will stop them from photosynthesizing and also drop chemicals on animals that will make them more susceptible to the weather. Okay, just a question. Kylie Jenner is going to get murdered because she knows the truth. Yes.

What do these cows know? Why would the government kill all the cows? My question is, is that who's eating the cows when they're dead? Yeah. They're pretty sweet. Bad meat. Man, I've been walking around and being like, oh, really sad that these cows are dead real early and then it's me just dragging one off into a field. I got a fucking Forman grill ready.

Yup. Got a lot of burgers you got to eat. Well, Henry mentioned geoengineeringwatch.org earlier, but he did not mention their leader and founder, Dale Wiggington. And Dale Wiggington says that chemically nucleated snow is used when one wants to cool down a certain region of the earth, but this is, of course, just a short-term solution with long-term effects. Dale Wiggington seems like the guy who goes 24 miles an hour into 25 because they want you to go 25. That's what they want you to do because that's how they get you. That's right.

Well, Wiggington also goes on to say that the quote-unquote weather forecasts that we see on the weather channel and such are actually weather schedules, which is why weather reporting has gotten so much more accurate over the years. They've got the inside scoop. Certainly not. Science has gotten better. Certainly not. My question about the driving underneath the speed limit, do you think that also, do you believe, I feel like that I found that when you drive five miles over the speed limit, you hit less red lights? Isn't that something?

Hmm. We'll talk to a city planner about that, Henry. That's my conspiracy theory. That's very possible. Also, they're making pepperoni thinner. They are doing that, too. Get back to chemtrails. Okay.

We're getting off track here. So the clues for weather modification are two-fold. First, areas that are sprayed often see increased cloudiness or even precipitation in the days that follow. Second, although I'm a little fuzzy on how they were able to get samples of chemtrails that are five miles up in the atmosphere. No, no. They get it from the soil after it comes down. They get it from the soil. So they're testing, do they have like control soil or are they just kind of going out and getting soil?

Listen to your friend of the friend. Right? Anytime you want to question any one of these quote-unquote science facts or where they collected the fucking chemtrail evidence. Or the scientific method. Yes, anytime you want to apply that, just think of Pastor Dave and how much meaning this gives his life. I'm just going to lick the ground a bunch. Okay, so that's what they mean by chemtrail fallout. They say that chemtrail fallout is full of ethylene dibromide.

And this chemical is similar to silver iodide, which is a chemical normally found in cloud seeding chemicals. Okay. And chemies, which remember that's what they call themselves. Chemies have blamed everything from the California drop to Hurricane Katrina to Hurricane Sander. Sandies on these weather manipulation techniques. Humikings, you just made up Hurricane Sanders, which just sounds like a new tagline for Bernie Sanders campaign. He definitely should have done that. That's right.

Hurricane Sanders, he's got soup on his shoes. Hurricane Sanders, he knows the shop at Payless on Thursdays because that's when you can get this special extra clearance sale. That's what you want to do. It's a good time to shop. But it isn't the chemtrails alone that activate the weather manipulation. Nor is it just weather manipulation that they use it for. It's time to bring back harp. The high frequency active oral research program, which is the thing I still barely understand.

The idea is that it is using, it's supposed to be a radio signal testing facility where they bounce radio signals off of the ionosphere in order to communicate. Technically, it's supposed to be for creating new ways to communicate with submarines and jets and satellites and all this bullshit. But it could also be used to, once the RNA from the chemtrails has landed in our bodies in the form of virus capsules and have infected it us and started changing our DNA, you can use harp in order to turn on the new RNA in our system. We're getting ahead of ourselves. So this next information about mind control. This is what comes from Rents.com. And by the way, Rents.com hosts a Holocaust Denying Radio show by a man named Jeff Rents,

whose advertisers, as they say, represent some of the most unique products and services on Earth. Such products include Magnetico sleep pads, which start at the low, low price of $510 for a single bed pad, and range up to $3650 for the Cal King Magnetico super sleep system. What is that? It sounds comfortable. That's all that I know. It's a pad full of magnets. So it's great.

It's probably bad. I think it's bad for you, actually. God forbid you got pennies in your pocket or something. It's going to slide through the tip of your penis at your asshole. You could die that way. You can also invest in Jeff Rents' all caps Internet Power Opportunity, in which you, yes you, can become an investor in Rents.com and become a key player in the exploding world of the Internet. You mean that I can be a key player in the exploding world of the Internet with just a little bit of my money?

With just a little bit of your money, and you will see vast returns in the exploding world of the Internet. Well, hopefully these chemtrails don't make me gay and they start sucking dick for, and giving my money away for $20 at a time. Paying for men to suck my cock for me to suck their cock. Well, if that doesn't happen, then you can invest in this. Of course. But anyway, the barium powders that are contained within the chemtrails are photo-ionized by the ultraviolet rays of the sun. They are then zapped from the ground with electromagnetism using either harp, the gyrotron system.

Ooh, what's that? Henry? Hmm, gyrotron system. Well, it sounds like it's a way to digitally receive euros. And I believe that pronunciation would correctly be the gyrotron system. Okay, good answer, good answer. You can also use space-based lasers. All of this is...

Oh, shit. No, space-based lasers. Those are real. Oh, lasers go up in space all day long. You have a little laser in your pocket. Lasers are also good for having fun with cats. Yep. See, chemtrails, they aren't the in-game.

They are the medium. Once the chemtrails have been zapped either from Earth or from space, the barium powders form into electromagnetic beams that can then be used for mind control programming. And these beams carry plasma orbs that stick to your natural magnetic field and through frequency mapping can be attached to your eyes, ears, temples, or private parts. So then they make people like shows such as Here Comes Honey Boo Boo and stuff like that? Big Bang Theory is still on the air. Is that why?

Yes. It has to be. You should just hire a good writer sometimes. I would watch it then. No, no. All you need is a multi-million dollar chemtrail slash harp laser facility testing area in order to do that. Certainly not a high quality television.

Interesting. See, the satellites then are able to download holographic mind control movies, pictures, sounds, and sensations to the unsuspecting victims. In addition to all of that, you can also be probed, gaslighted, frightened, manipulated, electronically raped. Never that. Whoa. And I will fight against it using my electronic mace and my electronic rape whistle.

That's right. That makes the yam noise like for the yaskat. I see. Yam. Yaskat's very cute. You can also be tortured or merely bothered. I'm bothered by the internet every day. And you can also be constantly tracked through your unique bio-energetic signature.

Let me see if I can somehow explain what any of this vaguely means. Right? So one of the ideas behind chemtrails. This is the second layer. This is, again, this is the cheese, sour cream, sour cream into beans. Right? Okay. To the lips.

If we're going to, and we're going to always, I'd say it's like our color level of warning is going to be layers of three bean Mexican dip. Oh, good. Conspiracy. Good chip dip analogy. Yes. At this level of conspiracy dip, the idea is that chemtrails are filled with virus-like microbes, right?

Literally hidden within things that can make us sick. They say that a lot of times when areas that are supposedly highly chemtrailed, they sometimes get respiratory illnesses. And what they say that they can do is retroengineer, I don't know if the term is retroengineer, they can make their own RNA bits, right? And house them within virus capsules that they then drop on top of humankind, the population of America. We get infected with these viruses that then feed this RNA into our bodies, that then begins

to rewrite our own DNA. And what they can do is creating DNA that make their, have their own phosphorescence. And there's one guy, Harald, I'm trying to, this is this one. Harald or Gerald. No, this guy is a scientist that I watched a video on, he explained this to me, he explained this to you. Only to you, right? Only to me.

But Harald Kautzvela, right, and he did this, he did a speech called Alien Spiders, Black Goo, Chemtrails, Morgellans, Excellent, Must See. Interesting. And he basically, the idea is that using RNA, they can create emotions. What is RNA exactly? Dry bone nucleotic acid. Thank you. Naturally.

But they can create emotions and they can create thoughts and they can also make us sick and they can do all these things by manipulating our DNA. And the way they do this is by slowly infiltrating our bodies using respiratory illnesses that are filled with fake RNA that are supplied by Chemtrails. Seems like something that the asbestos corporations would say. You know, it's not asbestos causing cancer. Yeah. It's my grandfather died.

Asbestos. Or this, who knows. Well, I got some similar information that Henry just got and piggybacking on Henry's, what was his name again, Henry? Do you remember off the top of your head? Harald Kautzvela. Harald Kautzvela. I also found some information from dataasylum.com that also talks about these.

So it's not necessarily RNA, it's more nanofibers. They say that the nanofibers embed themselves in our skin and once the nanofibers are embedded within us, they can then control our speech and thought patterns subconsciously. Side effects of the infection include clicking sounds in the skull, aching joints due to the victim being quote unquote wired. I thought you were going to say hungover. A lot of this sounds a lot like hangovers. And the author of this article on dataasylum.com, he guesses about 90% of the populace has already

been infected. And also put this, have you already confused by every single thing that we're saying? Sign me up. I would say you should do. Because this is what I did. It's all gobbledygook. But it's stuff that you could really get into because there's many, many avenues down. And again, all of this will just make you a terrible person to speak to.

Like a week. Look up, just type in the word chemtrails nanofibers. Chemtrails mind control. Just write those things and you will see what we have picked through over the last five days to even have the vagus understanding of the deep levels of conspiracy that are being basically labeled on clouds. Poor innocent clouds. Bob Ross, remember when he would just pay to be like, so happy little cloud over here.

Bob Ross did not know that one of those clouds killed JFK. Isn't that something? Yes. Yeah. He didn't know that those clouds were implicated in phases. Implications. Implications. Every time I look up in the sky, I see an elephant sometimes in the clouds or a lion.

I see a chicken wing or like an ice cream cone. See, we were just talking about the click and the aching in the joints. That is an indication that phase one of the infection has already begun. Phase two begins with the onset of something I'd actually never heard of before, something called Morgallon's disease. Morgallon's disease. It's Morgallon's disease. I'm sure you've heard a lot more people say this word than I have.

Morgallon sounds like a terrible thing to call it over in high school. I am Morgallon and I use magic only to make toilet paper. Oh, that's nice. Yes, I am the worst wizard there's ever been. Two ply or a single ply? Oh, single ply. We're sort of tissue paper like toilet paper and also I told Zoran where the hoppets were. I did it.

It's great to meet a wizard. Thanks. It's not so great to be a wizard. Oh, that's sad Morgallon. So, Morgallon's disease manifests itself as disfiguring sores and a crawling sensation under the skin as if bugs are trying to worm their way out. Now, while every respected medical professional in the world maintains that Morgallon's is a 100% psychosomatic condition spurred on by delusional thinking, some chemies maintain that this is the body's way of attempting to push these foreign nanofibers out of our skin.

I'm going to start calling them trailies. Yeah, so every single medical expert in the world says this is not everywhere. Every respected medical expert. I mean, remember there are some quote-unquote medical experts that believe that vaccines cause autism. Well, certainly not a scientist and journalist galore Harald Krautsvella, who believes that Morgallon's disease is a air-based fungus that is dropped out of chemtrails. And he showed this because he showed a tomato in this video and then four hairs on top of it. And he's like, look here.

If you see when you run your finger over the tomato and say, oh, they love the physical contact. And he's very strange. He's like, oh, they gave us a finger, little kisses, little kisses. These weird little hairs literally were touching his finger. And he said that what that is, it lays dormant in our skin. It is this fiber thing. Some people are affected by it negatively. And they start experiencing their skin crawling and burning and start scratching themselves like a psychopath.

But everybody else, it lies in weight for possibly a cue from either harp or a gigantic tonal signal from radio stations across the world. Also our cell phones, which is very interesting because that's what he said. It's very funny that everybody wants to have cell phones with a head all the time. Those microwave signals that come from a cell phone could very well be used to activate the nanofibers that is more gallant disease in our bloodstream. And they're finding some people that get more gallant disease with their finding as patches of spider skin. That's what they're calling it. It's skin on their neck that is most similar to arachnids.

It's kind of creepy. Do you think he had sex with a tomato? Yes. And if you think these people are that crazy, remember that Jim Inhoff brought a snowball inside of Congress to show that global warming wasn't real. It's cold outside. They use the exact same thing. The look up Chemtrails, more gallant disease, if again if you want to have something to talk to the people of the DMV event. But no, it's very interesting.

And all of this is based in the fact, and all of this is based in quote unquote fact of a document that was released to the internet that's called NASA the future of war. And if you look at this PowerPoint presentation that was leaked in like 2013. Apparently it was written in 2005, it was this idea of it was military weapons that were going to come out by the year 2025. And a part of it had to do with stuff called like smart dust. And it says things like smart dust and microwave weapons and all the stuff. And that's what Horald is using as the basis for all of his research. And there is some actual congressional bills that have put forth that actually backed this up, Dennis Kucinich, and I think 2000 put forth a bill that did ask to have some sort of funding to protect us against Chemtrails. It was listed, but also extraterrestrial weapons was also listed in the bill.

It did not get out of committee. That's too bad. They finally wanted to do the people's business, nowhere. That's not right. So phase, more Gellens disease, that is an indication that phase two has begun. And phase two must be activated from an outside source. It's not like phase one where it just gets sprinkled on your willy-nilly. It has to be activated.

The author from datastylem.com, he figures probably about 2% of the population is caught in the throes of phase two as we speak. So 92% of the population is a whole. Well, 90% is in phase one, and 2% is in phase two. The other 8%, what? Having a great time, I guess. It's in California, just surfing. Yeah, strange. So phase two can be triggered from eating red meat, kissing specific people, or from using specific corporate health care or beauty products, much like the plot of the first Tim Burton Batman movie.

That's right. That is right. I guess, again, Hollywood has its fingers in the world of conspiracy by letting us know what's really going on through the guise of the pseudo-sexual bat creature. That's right. Great Joker. Jack Nicholson. The best Joker. Yeah, I think so.

Now, once phase two has begun, it cannot be stopped. Eventually, the government will have complete remote control of your body and mind to do with what they will. I hope it's sexual. I know, or make me jump really high. I've always wanted to touch the rim. What if they make us fight in a big amphitheater with dramatic music playing? That'd be kind of fun with big hooks. We have hooks so we fight each other.

Big band music? Big band music would be the music there. Maybe we'll be like marionettes in a giant puppet theater. That would be kind of fun, too. Oh, you know what? This ain't so bad. No, it's not so bad at all. Others claim that this chemtrails isn't anywhere near as complicated as all this.

They say chemtrails are just being used to keep the population sick and docile, or to keep the population under control by assuring that the already sick or elderly are shuffled off this mortal coil sooner rather than later. Some even claim that chemtrail spraying is benign, that the government is actually spraying us with anthrax vaccines. Thanks, government. That's kind of nice, yeah. But there are some that have theories that extend far beyond such petty notions

as mind control and population control. Some people, and by some, I mean our trusty old bibliotech-a-plie-80s. Love this article. Bibliotech-a-plie-80s. I don't care what anybody says. It still will always be my favorite conspiracy website. I love it. They're always on the money.

They always got great articles and they're completely right. They claim that chemtrails are actually being used to block the further evolution of the human race. Well, that ain't right. It's not right. That's not right. And I'm going to write a letter. I don't know to who.

I hopefully to Dick Van Dyke. I'm going to write a letter to Dick Van Dyke. I know. And his charm will win over Congress. And him and Bernie Sanders will get a half sandwich and soup afterwards, and they'll congratulate each other for doing a good job for making sure human beings can evolve. Yeah.

Is the Van Dyke still alive? Oh, yeah. I think he's got rape allocations on him, doesn't he? I don't know. Just recently? So it means he's still... He's got to be in the 90s. Yeah, I don't know how that's possible.

He's right. He's ready to go. He might just be making that up. Now, before we get to the full evolution, how they're trying to block our evolution, we have to talk about a little something called project cloverleaf. Now, debunkers say that pictures that people have taken of jets filled with equipment that appear to be aerosol dispersion systems are really just mechanisms that they use to simulate the weight of passengers or cargo

and that those giant barrels are actually just filled with water. And the reason why they're all connected is so they can test different centers of gravity while the plane is in flight, which is a likely story. What? How so? It's just a likely one. It could, I mean, it could be a thing, sure.

It's definitely a story. I feel like it's a thing like Nicholas Cage did back in the day, or like Gerard Depardieu was like, I want to see how much wine I can take from back from France to Los Angeles. Oh, what do you mean I will not be in demedema fur? Oh, that's sad. No, they do this, this is what they do when they test new aircraft. They have to test to see the different centers of gravity in case of...

You don't know, goddamn it, they do it. Gerard Depardieu is doing it. That's what I'm sticking by. He's going to be in Schindler's List 2, the funny one. Yeah, he was always a goofy stepdad. It's bringing moisturizer. But one airline manager who spoke only under the condition of anonymity had a different story to tell.

He said that in 1999, he was approached by a number of CIA spooks offering to pay his airline to release special chemicals from their commercial aircraft. And when he asked what the chemicals were and why they needed to be sprayed, he was told that that information was on a need-to-know basis, and he wasn't cleared for that. But don't worry, it's all totally harmless. It's in the public's best interest. And if we were to make it public, it'd just worry people.

And then it's just like, why are you telling me, man? I'm just a pilot. Don't tell me. He's an airline manager. He's the middleman. He's the guy they have to go to. They would never tell him. Why would you tell me?

I would never ask a CIA person. If a CIA person just happened to be like, Henry, we need you for this mission. You've got to make the Kremlin laugh. They'd be like, why? And they're like, I would never ask why. I would just do my duty as an American, and I would take my $25,000 fee, which is my fee.

To entertain other members of state and other leaders of countries. I'd take $25,000. You'd probably do more than that. No, no, no. I'm a deal. I undercut. Right.

In order to go do these things, I could be said to Kim Jong-un. I can make him laugh, and I won't ask any questions. So take that, CIA. That'd be great. That's good. Dane Cook was getting $75,000 just to play at college. What? $75,000?

Yes, you really undercut yourself there. Now, of course, the next question that the airline manager had for the CIA, man, why don't you just use military aircraft? You got tons of planes. We all know that you got tons of planes. You're the army. You've got the army and the air force and the navy. Each one has planes.

Everyone. But the CIA guy said, we don't have enough. Well, they are busy bombing, you know, poor countries. They make more planes. Yeah. No, no, no. They said, we don't have enough. And we can't make planes.

The reason why they can't just make planes, Henry, is because they needed this shit to happen. Quick, fast, and in a hurry. Well, then no better way to do it. No better. Use a national airline because they're always so quick and they get to your destination right on time. They just need to be up there.

Yeah. I don't understand. It seems like the worst people to trust with anything that's important. You know who should have done this? Nickelback on their tour plane is give them the chemtrail technology and have them back. When they're going back and forth from Tulsa tube to Yonderter. Other parts of Tulsa, I think. Yeah.

They could definitely, they will easily do that. And they'll do anything for straight cash. Oh, yeah. So you ask right now, what questions do you have, guys? Oh, so many questions that I don't even, yeah. It's mostly questions. Yeah. The question you should be asking, why does it need to be done quick, fast, and in a hurry?

Right. Like what I've heard, wasn't that the XM is a good, fast, cheap? You can have two? No, no, yeah. You can have a good or you can have it cheap. You can have fast. You want it done fast, you want it done right. Right.

That's what I always say. You want it done fast, you want it done right. Booker than bread box, that's what I say. That's what any plane is. Neither of you ever say either of those things. No, I say it in my head. When people complain about an episode being late, I always think, do you want it done fast?

You want it done right. And we do it right. That's chemtrails. I want nothing to do with demtrails. All right. So, yes. Why does it need to be done so quickly? Did someone discover that there was something that needed to be stopped?

Something that needed to be suppressed? Simply put? Yes. You wonder why all of America fell out of love with vanilla ice so quickly. Oh, you think chemtrails had something to do with that? Oh, yeah. Because he had his fingers up the pussy of all of America for a long time, and we loved it the way he tippity tapped our fucking G-spot like it was a fucking Morse code machine.

Well, I still like his Pepsi commercials. I believe he did some Pepsi ads. Very good. Well, they did discover. Yes, there is something that needed to be stopped. But who and what did they discover? Ricky Lake. Is it Ricky Lake that needs to be stopped?

Loch Ness Monster wanted its own television show. I'd give it to him. Give it to him. Let's hear from Barbara Marciniak. Thank God Barbara was there. She said in her book, Beringers of Dawn. When humans were first created, we were made from 12 different strands of DNA. They were all contributed by various sentient civilizations, with each species contributing

to its own special power or attribute. Downskittles. He's just, he's horny. Yeah. But over the years, these strands have been disassembled. The powers that humanity began with have been lost over the years, turning us into the boring, powerless drones that we are. So, who benefits from us being docile?

Dare I say it? Quibono. Quibono. The answer is simple and obvious. And obvious. Ben, you idiot. Jump, tell us the answer. If it's so simple and obvious,

who benefits from the chemtrails making us a drone? Yes. Who's benefit? Quibono. The Chicago Bulls. You asshole. No, Michael Jordan is the only one who benefited from that. Oh, I see.

Scottie Pippen, where is he? Well, he's very wealthy. Sucking his own dick in a Greyhound bus station. Not everyone is sucking their own dick if you don't know what they're doing. The obvious answer that you should have been able to come up with, Ben. Yeah, you simpleton. Good Lord. You plebe.

Humanity is being and has been held back for millennia by one race. The Chinese. Okay. The reptilians. Oh, okay. They are the reason why we aren't psychic anymore. They are the ones that are keeping us down. And how are they currently doing it?

I don't know. Chemtrails. Yeah, you idiot. What is the episode about? Okay, chemtrails. So you see, when they disassembled our DNA, they weren't able to remove the power-activating genomes complete. Now, what do you mean when they disassembled our DNA?

Now, this is like what Barbara said earlier. We had 12 strands of DNA. And then over time, it fell apart. Over time, the reptilians took it apart. Oh, and the idea is because they're breeding programs. So they would come have sex with one of us and then use like specific ones of their sperms to impregnate us with and then make new smaller, dumber versions of us. So it's all just like a home renovation type thing?

Or when they get here, then they like us or something? No, it's like where did the Pomeranian come from? The Pomeranian would not live in the forest. If you took a Pomeranian and threw it out in the forest, it'd be picked apart by crows in an hour. And I'd love to watch it. They're crazy dogs. But they are bred down to have tiny little pussies and weird little brains.

You know, it's flip that. Because we want to stop their potential when a Pomeranian could have been the president of dogs. So now we're the Pomeranians. Yes, we're the Pomeranians. We couldn't live anywhere else on earth without the reptilians caring for us. Or could we? Because those strands that the reptilians pulled apart over millennia, they still exist within us as junk DNA.

And unfortunately for the reptilians, that junk DNA is rapidly being reactivated by Professor X. Oh, cool. Yes, that's right, my friend. Time to make way for the Homo Superior. Ave Maria Maria. Neil Patrick Harris? I don't even understand. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, we are Homo Superior. I was born without wisdom teeth. Huh. Some people are. Yeah, some people are. 20% of the population is. Uh, nope. Human being 2.0.

Which is why I'm shaped the way I'm shaped. Which is in order to support my mind. You are hard to knock over. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, you can't. Yes, I'd rather die on my knees than die. Was it? I'm standing.

And die on my knees. Che Guevara said that. And I'm just like him. I'm a ginger Che Guevara. I don't. The Polish Che Guevara. Well. Okay.

So. So what this bibliotech Pleiades article claims is that Kim trails actually as Henry mentioned earlier with the nano viruses, but this is different. It contains viruses and bacteria that insidiously insert ourselves or insert themselves into our DNA. But what these bacteria and viruses are doing is that they're actually keeping our RNA and DNA scrambled so they can't connect

together and we regain our psychic power. And we turn into Captain Planet. Oh, I see. But reptilians are like eight feet tall, right? Uh, sometimes. Yeah, they're big. So why don't they just come down here and put us on the cages and stuff?

No, we'll just do whatever they ask. Yeah. They're huge. No, no, no. What about organ energy, Ben? It's like you haven't even been paying attention. The last four years. Four years, huh?

Is that how long we've been doing this? No, we have to voluntarily give our energy. We have to. That's what they want. That's the whole point is they can't just come down and subjugate us because they don't get the juice. It's like, it's like taking an orange before it's ripe enough off the tree.

It's just a bitter little hard little orange thing. When now we are the big fucking floppy sacks of juice. It's more like a cow. If the cow knows the knife is coming, all the adrenaline rushes through its body and the meat is ruined. Yeah, which is why what I like to do is if I ever had a farm, you get a pert young farm girl out there stroking them off. Right?

And then you shoot it in the fucking head. That fucking cow dies with a smile on its face. That's the saltiest meat you've ever tried, my friend. Could be. I think it would like a cow better than a girl. Because cows like to have sex with other cows. Yeah, but I don't think you could train a cow to blow another cow. Oh, sure.

They got big tongues. They're always doing something back there. Do you think they do that? Oh, I think all animals do it. They do. Cow dogs don't blow other dogs. Yes, they do. Yeah, dogs totally blow other dogs.

No, what are you watching? What fucking weird animal- Fucking dog- 100's of videos that you watch. Dogblow.com. Oh, right. Come on. Let's get back to chemtrails.

So that whole chemtrail reptilian jazmataz that they're doing on humans, that only works on humans that are already born without their activated DNA. What's starting to happen now is that children for the last 30 or so years have been born with their DNA already activated and the reptilians aren't actually able to infect them. These children come in three different types. First, there are the so-called super psychic children of China. Which is true.

The second group are the so-called children of AIDS. These are kids who were born with AIDS, but after a few years, they don't got AIDS anymore. Because they get sick of it. They're lazy about it. Yeah, they don't work hard enough to keep it. They say it's because their immune structure is unusually strong because they have four extra codons, which is a genetic term.

Is it? Could be. Yeah, codons. Yeah, it sounds like a term. It totally does and it totally is. It is a term. Lastly, but certainly not least, are old friends the indigo children.

Just let them be suppressed. I'm afraid of the super psychic children of China, except for the fact that they'll be like, just like, Mr. Presky. It's like a four-year-old walks up to me, Mr. Presky, order a six-barrier? I'll be like, you fucking psychic child of China, you fucking read my mind, and yes.

Yeah, I was actually going to compliment you for handling that with such class earlier when we discussed these- I didn't do anything we even did. Well, for those of you who haven't listened to our indigo children episode, indigos are kids who society likes to say have ADD, but they're actually the next step in human evolution.

Yeah, yeah, they may be annoying and entitled kids, but in actuality, they're not challenged enough because their psychic powers make them far advanced than us feeble adults. Indigos, they don't want and they don't need discipline. They hate standing in line and should never be made to do so front of the line every time, and they should be encouraged in any and all things

that they might like to do at all times. This next generation's really going to suck. We're doomed. Oh, no, the indigo kids, we are actually in the prime spot for indigo kids. Indigo kids first started in the late 70s. We were all born in the early 80s. Yeah, I could be an indigo kid.

Yeah, I don't like lines. You could be, but it's more like a crimson man. Yeah, you're a big crimson man. Crimson man. Crimson man. That's kind of a fun name. And of course, if it wasn't for chemtrails, we'd all be indigo children by now.

And it's important to note that chemtrails are not mutating our DNA. They're preventing the mutations from happening. Our genes are constantly trying to mutate. They're constantly trying to activate our psychic powers, telekinesis, telepathy, and the rest. Marcus is thinking about dirt. I am an indigo kid.

I was earlier today. I knew you were. And that's not the only thing that chemtrails are trying to prevent. It's up for debate as to whether or not they're pulling this next scheme, quote, unquote, for our own good. But there is reason to believe that the New World Order

is using chemtrails to hide Planet X, AKA Nibiru. Now, Nibiru was supposed to show up in May of 2003. Nibiru is, of course, a gas giant that's supposed to live just outside of our solar system, or is possibly incoherent in a same, what's the term? We're in orbit with them. We may be a part of a binary star system.

It's a brown dwarf twin. Yes, and Nibiru is where the reptilian jumpship off of and landed on Earth when Earth was a tiny little baby, and they seeded us here. That's nice of them. Yeah. And futurist Alfred Lembremont-Weber claimed at the Recent Consciousness Beyond Chemtrails

conference in Los Angeles, California, that the primary intent of the Chemtrails program is to hide from public view the approach of Nibiru. Because it'll freak people out? Yeah, it'll freak people out. He says that NASA's been tracking it since at least 1983, and since its discovery, vast underground intercontinental transit systems have been built

by the financial and technocratic elites, along with the armed forces, so they can hunker down when Nibiru makes its flyby. But the rest of us can't get into these bunkers, right? It's only the super elites that can get into bunkers. So what do the fucking rest of us do? We hang out and die. That sounds exciting.

So is it going to fly by like that comet there, with the Heaven's Gate people? Hellbop. I mean, some people say that Hellbop was actually a false Nibiru. It was a distraction from the real Nibiru. Really? Oh, don't tell them that. They killed themselves.

They were, oh, man. So you're asking, how are they going to hide it? How are they going to hide a brown dwarf twin? How will they hide space Webster? How does it happen, Marcus? Well, the details are a little fuzzy. Oh, they are, huh? Weird.

It seems to me this episode's just full of specifics. But what Mr. Lambramont Weber claims is that the chemtrails are somehow used to manipulate the sky like a gigantic LCD screen to make us see whatever they want us to see. And using harp like a projector laser, like a Pink Floyd laser show back in the day, that literally they'll paint it out of the sky, and then also possibly could use it to fake an alien invasion, if it's true that all supposed alien leaks that have been coming out via document, either documentary and Hollywood film, quote, unquote, Hollywood film,

that they will use these, basically the nanoparticles of aluminum in the air as like a giant projection screen and paint fucking close encounters of the third kind ship coming over the fucking horizon in order to subjugate us. Kissle, you rube. I mean, they don't even have clean water in Flint. They got to prioritize. I know because they're spending all the money on harp. Oh, I see.

Yeah. And this guy, Mr. Lambramont Weber, he's not alone. YouTube is filled with citizen truth tellers like user Ruth Blackburn, who we will now hear from. So, it is September 4th, 2014. This video is being shot from El Dorado Hills, California. Currently, I'm facing West, and as you can see, all the lovely chemtrails that they've laid down for us, featuring their famous pink chemtrails.

We love those kind. And as you can see over here, pointing West, we have what's left of the sun setting. However, if we now hand to the east, what is that? That's a bright dot in the sky, golly. I think that's Nibiru, certainly not the moon. And Ruth. Which isn't even in half moon phase at this point. And Ruth.

So, yeah, again, here I am facing east. Can we finish watching Spider-Man 3? The specific little bit north, primarily east. Now, I am back over here to the west. There's our sunset. Ruth, I'm hungry. I haven't eaten in like nine hours. Sunset.

All right. Hours, hundreds of videos. If you want an attempt, yes, we may have not have been the most clear and concise explanation of chemtrails on the face of the planet this day. I think we did better than most. We did what we could. You do it. You go watch the videos and see what it does to your life.

Oh, golly. If I see Nibiru, that's the first thing I'm going to say. Oh, golly. See, in this woman, there are literally hundreds just like you. There is even an Italian Facebook community called... We want to say Nibiru, stop of hiding it with the chemtrails. Oh, the ravioli is a burn. Now I have to beat myself.

Oh, that's nice. And as of this recording, the last post was just nine hours ago, and the page currently has 527 likes. So if you want to discover the truth, the resources, the knowledge, and most importantly, the people who are going to tell you that your paranoid delusions are based in pseudoscientific fact are out there. Very cool. Be careful.

And you know what? Maybe don't get them to trace us back to the last podcast on the left page. I don't know. I'd love to meet them. Yeah, no, I would love to meet them. Never mind. I want to meet them. It's just...

Oh, golly. I'm so confused. Nah. You know, it's clouds. Yeah, well, you never know. It's just clouds. Oh, my goodness. It's just clouds in the sky.

It's just blooms of smoke from planes. Just no... Donald Trump is about to be president. Yes, that's true. His hair is kind of a cloud. We're fucked. Yeah, we're all... The country's fucked.

We're doomed. But, oh, it's so nice. No children were murdered in the making of this episode. None whatsoever. Well, I mean, yes, some of them were murdered by Kimtrail. See, that's the other things that the sickly... That's right. When they spread the sickness, the sickly children are among the first to die.

It's always the kids in the elderly. Also, the idea that there's a part of our brains receded with psychopathic impulses, basically using fake RNA. They made us into crazy people, so maybe Dean Corral is a part of the original experiments that they just turn on harp and he wants to fuck kids. You know what? That's possible. I'm just going to say it.

Oh, my God. Thank you guys so much for listening. Go to Facebook and join the Facebook group. There's a lot of very exciting people on there. Yeah, definitely a lot of very exciting people. And don't forget to go if you want to support the show and support us having to do this. We did this. We spent many hours doing this.

We spent many hours going through this. If you want to support us, please go to patreon.com slash LP on the left to give however much you feel like we deserve. Thank you to so, so many of you for already given. We really do appreciate it. And if you want a last pack of still left t-shirt, go to cavecomedyradio.com slash merch. They're only $25 each domestic $40 international. And then once you get your shirt posted up on the Facebook page, we always love seeing

people posting their selfies up there. I want to say thank you for everyone who came out to the live show this past Saturday. We have another live show March 5th in Baltimore, but such incredible people and it was such an amazing show. It was a blast. Yeah, it was just, God damn it was so much fun. And you can watch the live shows now if you do support the Patreon page. Yeah, yeah, yeah, $10 and up.

You get to see the live stream of the live show. Yeah, it's very fun. Yeah. And also, yeah, follow me on Instagram at Marcus Parks. Follow, yeah, I'm at Dr. Fantasty. Also, the last podcast on the left on Instagram, which is at LP on the left. Oh, exciting. I'm on Twitter at Ben Kissel and I'm on Instagram at Ben Kissel One.

Never post though. So, find me on Twitter. Bagels and... Pomeranians. Oh, and go listen to my new radio show, The Lucky Bone Show on mixcloud.com slash Marcus Parks. That's right. And we've got the politics on Ablegan's top end and the round table of gentlemen. Give those shows a lesson and I think you'll enjoy them.

Hail Satan. Hail Geen. Hail yourselves. Hail me. Make ghost donations. Please. Whoa, whoa, whoa. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to cavecomedyradio.com.