Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 217: Roswell Part II - It's a Balloon

Episode Date: March 23, 2016

It's time for the (alleged) debunking on the wrap up to our Roswell series, as well as alternate theories blaming everyone from the Russians to the Nazis to God to the Devil.

There's no place to escape to this is the last on the left That's when the cannibalism started It is a massive spoiler, I'll tell you why they are fake beans That's not no that's actually true. It ends in a chili cook up Sorry guys, all right, are we ready to start? Welcome to the last podcast on the left everyone I am Ben kissle with Marcus Park. Hi. All right. We got chili cook up Henry's a brown just know that if you were at the end of the world is coming and you happen to be in a trailer But hosted by somebody that used to fake fuck Roseanne

Very end when you when you are finally get out of that situation Whatever it may be tense or otherwise you are leaving that to go get some fine fine Houston barbecue What happened to the other Darlene John Goodman? Oh, he was consumed The other Darlene was chopped up and consumed by that family because that's what nobody nobody got to the end of Roseanne And the end of the 12th season how whenever many seasons it is they have turns out they are a bunch of delusional cannibal But she's so funny with her little chicken in the egg shirt. I like it. I did not remember that You don't remember the a lesbian. All right Was the lesbian not Roseanne you're thinking of Rosie O'Donnell. No, no, no Rosie O'Donnell when I get mixed up with Rosie O'Donnell

Normally, I'm concerned. It's a it's a hippo with a bunch of gasoline on top of it on fire All right, so We're talking about Part two this is gonna get intense. It's gonna get super intense. My brain is full Yeah, I have literally been doing nothing but wall-to-wall Roswell research to the point where I'm back to being confused I was but certainly it was aliens and then it had to be the Russians and now I'm back to Aliens

Well, is it possible the aliens are Russians? Let's go over a real quick timeline before we continue with the story can there be like timeline music July 3rd 1947 Mac brazil finds a peculiar crash debris on the foster ranch July 5th 1947 Mac brazil hears of a $3,000 reward for the debris of a flying saucer July 6th major Jesse Marcel comes out to the Mac brazil ranch and inspects the wreckage then sends some to Washington, DC Stereos July 8th 1947 information about a UFO crash is put on the AP wire And is picked up by multiple newspapers across the nation multiple newspapers u.s. People magazine entertainment

weekly July 9th 1947 Mac brazil officially retracts his story while wreckage is sent to right airfield in Dayton, Ohio flip-flopper alert Hillary Clinton should be hearing that every day shooting cheek Ben Kissler. That's my political commentary for the day She's got a big old pussy That's brilliant. So we're in Dayton, Ohio

Huh the the documents got sent to Dayton well the debris was on its way to Dayton, Ohio Now whether balloon or not a small amount of the debris was packed up into four brown paper wrapped packages and loaded into a b29 by Major Jesse Marcel who of course is the number one witness to Roswell He was ordered to supervise the transfer Well, you know that Jesse Marcel did not actually himself put those on a plane. He was a janitor named Barney, right? I mean, they just wrapped it up like a leg of lamb Did they tie like in the movie scrooge to when he shows up with his dad and the flashback shows up would be in like Hey, that's that's a hundred dollars with the veal, right? Yeah. Yeah, that's that's how it looked

So they have no respect for the for the debris. They don't think this is even gonna be a story Well in 1947, that's just how you transported everything you just wrap it up in a brown pet They didn't know really what it was. They knew that it was important But on the other hand, you also don't want to draw a lot of attention to it because all their fathers were butchers That was the only job that they could have gotten so much butcher paper everywhere Everybody had the role in their house, right? But if you listen to Chuck Wade This is a part of the the idea that the military was aware that UFOs were around so who is Chuck Wade? Chuck Wade is the man that was the

grandson of the man who owned the bar that Brazil went to when he first discovered a debris and got hammered in and when he found out that it was worth $3,000 right that that man has built a whole life on retelling the Roswell story from the perspective of a bar inhabiting Yokel He's built a whole life on a whole life. You surprised how many people have built entire careers off of this story at 10? 10 people I'm not surprised But his belief is that the US government was aware of the UFOs was using radars as offensive weapons in order to take them down the Roswell Air Force Base was one of the people there was the on the network of

Radar stations that were being used to take down the UFOs But a lot of the people at the base were on a need-to-know basis and Jesse Marcel did not need to know that information Did Chuck Wade need to know he didn't need to know but he had to know yes, I like that Now the original Destination of this B-29 flight loaded up with a debris was right field in Dayton, Ohio Now at the time right field was the location and this is true It was the location of the foreign technology division who had throughout World War two been in charge of reverse engineering Engineering capture technology, so if it was going to go any place it would go to right field exactly the right field is by far the most logical place

For alien technology to go to this is a part of where the little tiny bits of data that you can kind of hang the truth hat on Like little hooks like it's a fun little apartment, and you have a hook's up where data goes on right This is one of those hooks exactly where the idea is that it It's it just follows the logic. Yeah, right Yeah, so Ohio got the rock-and-roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland and then a bunch of junk from space Those are the two things in Ohio. Yes. Yeah, cool pretty much And in fact as far as this foreign technology goes Philip J. Corso an Intelligence officer who worked for army research and development had quite a bit to say about what we recovered from Roswell

And what we did with it in his book the day after Roswell if you have not read the day after Roswell, and you like aliens Please read the day after Roswell. It is this is the 1950s sci-fi version of the story that we were talking about It's all in there and Philip J. Corso has painted himself as sort of like the hero of this story being like I know the truth And I know that the aliens with it and we took toasters from the alien UFOs But if you look at Philip J. Corso Philip J. Corso is a 97-pound Jewish man that has become an action hero in his story. My favorite book is the day before Roswell There's a whole chapter on how to make your day more exciting by calling Fart Cloud Pants

Corso claims that in 1961 he was given the official files on the material that we recovered from Roswell and was instructed to filter the technology From the military into the mainstream via industrial development You fold it in like chocolate into a delicate mousse Yeah, now you're talking no eventually through reverse engineering people like Corso were able to develop such modern technology as lasers Integrated circuitry fiber optic networks Accelerated particle beam devices and even the Kevlar used in bulletproof vests. Tickle me Elmo

Beta Max Spinny hats a little kids wear that we use with spinny cats with little kids wear Yes, they see them in the 90s pictures of the 1920s With that is it's time travelers from the future from the 40s going back into the 20s and putting them on kids heads Interesting and also condoms You've never seen a skinny kid with a spinny hat because they'll just go right up. Yeah, you gotta be fat stay low pinion Let's get back to Jesse Marcel in the B29 flight shortly before takeoff The plane was diverted from right field to Fort Worth, Texas

And this is also because of tri-tip. Yeah, correct Also because of tri-tip because they just needed some of that sweet tri-tip action and Fort Worth Tri-tip the barbecue. Yeah A lot of food Yeah, they had to add to Billy Bob's downtown beautiful barbecue. Oh, it's the best Yeah Now Marcel reported directly to General Roger M. Remy as soon as they landed and gave him the boxes Which Remy placed on the desk of his office

No, nobody even considered the fact that these things could be highly radioactive No, it's like nobody even right or nope. They actually did bring out a Geiger counter on that very first trip when When Marcel loaded everything up into the trunk of his car and took it to show it to his wife and child at 2 a.m No, they did bring a Geiger counter out there and they did find that it was not radioactive feels like a Geiger counter You're literally looking at an alien spacecraft. You just stick a Geiger counter out at me like seems all good All right, no clue what it is. You don't know what it is. It could be filled with seeds You don't know what kind of alien seeds that's on it or the alien could have coughed on it and also we got a super plague Who knows but that's a part of the reason why they talk about why the alien secret is kept so closely is because a lot of these

Aliens are literally covered in intergalactic microbes that can potentially end the human race Sure I mean if you travel overseas you'll get sick immediately so you could imagine an extra terrestrial being Just going to an elevator with a man from Thailand. You're gonna get sick That's right and the man from Thailand won't be thrilled with you either because a promise that they have different Standards when it comes to coughing and sneezing. No, it's just because they have different bugs and things like that that weren't on immune To yet they have old handkerchiefs. I don't know Stereotype no Marcel he comes in a general Raimi's office

He hands Raimi the boxes Raimi puts the boxes on his desk and said hey listen. Let's go into this other room I need you to show me on a map exactly where this crash happened Marcel goes in he says all right It's right here. It's near Corona out about 75 five miles outside of Roswell. These are the direct coordinates These are the direct coordinates. They come back to the office and Jesse Marcel finds that the four boxes were missing and They were replaced by a clean yet mangled radar kit of reflective foil Hmm wooden sticks Masking tape and bailing twine with a little bit a rubber thrown in in other words all the makings of a weather balloon And the only thing Raimi could say afterwards was gotcha

Bristle change oh What if he just went to the other room and it was just Raimi showing him one of those pens that you turn upside down where the women The woman can't make it on the side of it. Look at that. Whoa. Wait. Wait What? What? Look at that. Whoa. And then you turn it. Look at that. Booby. Whoa. That used to be porn. That is porn And then you go out and then every every single bit every single bit of hard facts about UFOs is gone The rest of time gone. The US history has changed That chinks got boobies in the pen. Yeah, so that UFO material is going on. Could I get the pen? Yeah, and then Marcel said that after he came back and the material was missing and replaced with the weather balloon stuff

He's understandably confused But then he overheard Raimi giving orders over the telephone that the official story was going to be It was a weather balloon and that that story should be disseminated as far and as fast as humanly possible And after the phone call Marcel was then ordered by Raimi to pose with the material for a Photographer which would prove to the world that the story was nothing more than a big misunderstanding and Major Jesse Marcel is the man with the goofball smile No, this is the famous photo in the famous Roswell photo holding up a and this is what I think is very weird This is a very weird thing about the the photo is that this weather balloon this foil

Supposedly crashed in the middle of the New Mexico desert, which is dusty and dirty and the foil is Immaculately clean. Yeah, it should look like a lot lizards face, right? I mean you get to it. It's been sitting out and it's like swirling winds craggy rocks lizard shit All the horse shit that's in the middle of a new Mexico desert and it's it's like brand new It's like you just peeled it off a goddamn potato Mm-hmm, and they're they're they're flaunting it. They're still flaunting a mistake. They still messed up I'm gonna take their their story as fact whether balloons are expensive heads should roll You fire them all you know

What's interesting though is that they were but we brought this up last week. They were firing off to weather balloons the fucking day Every day I can make a weather balloon. I literally leave here. You get a parachute You carry your old pants for when you were huge, right? So up the leg holes and you get a bunch of tin foil And you strap into a bunch of kite wire and you throw it up in a goddamn sky Well, then you and you just ask what the weather is up there How do you get the information back and then yada yada yada harp lasers? Reflection bouncing. Oh, okay. You bounce the balloons But I gotta feel bad is for all the children's parties in the area where all the balloons are being confiscated from children being like that's evidence

It's evidence, right? Now after this famous photo the story was killed the following day with the inspiring headline. It's a balloon. It's a balloon It's kind of cool just it's a balloon It's also was the same that was the same headline on the the national register for mentally handicapped people That went out that week as well. It's a balloon But it was very it was a celebratory. Oh, I see. It's a balloon exciting in the story Stayed dead until

1978 1947 and 1978 this was a non-story after it's a balloon That is when Major Marcel was tracked down by our old friend nuclear physicist and UFO researcher Stanton Friedman the most fearless pear-shaped man in existence Personal hero of mine as well now the Roswell incident was published two years later and the rest is History now this is Stanton Friedman's stairway to heaven now. This was he has been cobbling together Information about Roswell up until this point left and right. This is before MJ 12 papers. This is him Investigating the idea because you remember the brief history. We've done about Stanton Friedman is that he was a nuclear physicist

He had various security clearances and it heard bits and pieces about UFO stuff and because he was a nerd he was into sci-fi as a kid and Eventually like we are sort of doing with our lives. He is turning his childhood predilections into a career Absolutely and destroying I think a couple of families in the process very much so When he comes down to the truth, right bigger than a wife single one of his books in the forward he thanks his family for putting up with him and Apologizes profusely well if you've seen any one of his talks in entirety and if you have I will give you a $20 bill If you watch any one of those in entirely can you imagine spending a lifetime with the man?

You just got to learn to love him. Yeah, you got to learn to love him Yeah, and I actually when I got these Roswell books at the International UFO Museum and Research Center I of course bought a signed Stanton Friedman book and I asked the woman at the gift counter I was like, how do you know him? How is he? She's like, you know what a lot of people think he stodged you But I think he's just the nicest fellow in the world Wow, you fucked Stanton Friedman also Why did you make the mental leap that she had sex with him? I could see it in her eyes She just said that she he was terrible. You could know when someone's had sex with Stanton Friedman if their eyes can go wall-eyed

Apparently, you know like She did have a veiled insult in her compliment No, I mean it was at some that knows a quote Yeah, some people say he's stodgy because apparently I guess in Roswell Stanton has a bit of a reputation of a reputatio He's a known quantity hard-nosed Journalist also the owner of up to a hundred and fifty yards of suspenders. Yes, and a hell of a YouTube channel No And of course after the Roswell incident came out after they had a new found amount of fame

Bill Pope of the Roswell Chamber of Commerce simply said, I don't like it I don't like it. It's a balloon! That's all he said was just I don't like this. I don't like this You know, this is refreshing though. Everyone wants to be on camera now. Everyone wants to be a celebrity I miss the old-school Americans who just yeah, absolutely. You're just being like, I'm trying to do my job I don't need I don't need to be on the great American bake-off. No, I don't why can't we just have our muffins and enjoy them? And mine might be not be as good as yours, but that's okay But this is actually very important to know like what you were saying is that we would not have any of the Roswell story If it wasn't for Jesse Marcel coming out in 1978 at this point

Well, who spoke first did Marcel speak first and then Friedman found him right now Friedman found him and made him talk Yeah, he's like I will do anything to get you to speak including these new raspberry croissants I mean, he's like, well, you know, I will literally say anything for patients I will do but no he goes so the so Jesse Marcel is the number one witness Yeah, he's the he's the zero point of the entire and a lot of the witnesses over the years have actually signed Affidavits stating that they're telling the truth. I've seen the doc. There are many affidavits also involved with Roswell Because Stanton Friedman kind of but the problem is is that it's kind of like an IOU that you're right to your friend being like I owe you

$25,000 for helping cover my DUI where it's just like no you can't just write on a piece of paper saying I tell the truth Right flip it over and you see the IHOP menu that you wrote it on But it's but that's what Stanton Friedman had devised this way of being like this is how we will build a paper trail It was very smart. Yeah, it was a very smart move. Yeah, and some of those people are they're actually like really high-ranking very well respected members of the military Unfortunately, the main source Jesse Marcel is not a highly respected member. He's a flawed man He's he knows how to create a more exciting conversation. He really does. He's a great storyteller We'll say that about Jesse Marcel

But it's important to remember that the Roswell incident as we've said it wasn't even Spoken of in public for over 30 years people bought the story We're also looking at America at the time was a much more serious place I believe I believe like after the 1950s when we were coming off of World War two We were a very industrial nation or a lot of stuff going so was and everybody kind of trusted the government But things persisted people like Stan Friedman was like this smells fishy And then you just go and you pressure an old man into saying something that I also had heard that he was very sick at the time Yeah, well, he didn't pressure him that much. I guess he Marcel

There's a liked to talk he wanted to talk in the biggest problem with Marcel is that it's very easy to bring the veracity of his statements into Question because Marcel had a pension for exaggeration he was such an Exaggerator and such a half truth teller that that tendency was even listed in his military file All I know is I read a seven-foot dick. Yeah, he told me Seven foot dick. I heard that he actually had a size 17 foot But he felt he folded them back so he wouldn't have to buy more expensive shoes. I heard that too Yeah, but it also must be said that that report that said that he had a tendency to exaggerate was written into his file

After the Roswell incident so researchers say and that's in this is this is the funny thing about Roswell and also I think about a lot of researchers is that the The skeptics and the believers will often use the exact same evidence But for completely different reasons, but it's tone. Yeah, yeah, but it's done because first example researchers say that his pet that you know the exaggeration comment was a plant to discredit him while skeptics say that they put it in there because Jesse Marcel exaggerated a weather balloon into a flying saucer. I'm confused already Again where we're gonna see time and time and time and time again with the Roswell incident and because it's point zero of all UFO

Thought like it's all major UFO stories from now have sort of spread from Roswell is the disinformation that is just Ladled on top of this thing Well is it because everyone's just trying to get a piece of the pie so someone comes and talks to them about it and even if they Don't have anything to do with it. They just feel compelled to talk. Yes Maybe it's a little bit of money or exposure because in the people kind of naturally want to please people right into someone comes to get a Randy UFO story you want to give him a big hard boner of a UFO story. Yeah, but then Things get involved things kind of shoot from there He still was an officer and so there's like a there's like a weird thing and he was also again

He was the first person on the scene. He was there with brazil Yeah, like he came and he was the first person to see what they saw and all of them was like even brazil Who's just like you know you said but last episode he had seen weather balloons, right? I know what weather balloons were they would have they should have just said it was a weather balloon like now at that point the Confucian started it in that moment when they first saw the debris Yeah, and skeptics say that that confusion is due to Jesse Marcel's penchant for exaggeration. So you say he's too much of a dreamer Yes, yes too creative. Yeah, but the other thing about Jesse's story Yes, it is creative it his story tended to change quite a bit

And because of this UFO reach searchers are able to cherry pick bits and pieces of Jesse's story to fit whatever Narrative they need right whenever their claims are debunked They're allowed to change the story and they feel perfectly comfortable doing so for example when Marcel Originally told Stanton Friedman about flying the debris to Fort Worth He claimed that he was the pilot that he flew the material himself But when debunkers looked into his military history They found that he had never actually even been a pilot Despite him also claiming that he shot down five enemy aircraft during World War two and what's funny is I did it with just my finger

Guns. Oh, I was standing on the wing of the plane You wouldn't believe it everyone said Jesse you're crazy and I said I'm crazy like a goddamn maroon well That would make you crazy maroon is a type of weasel I went on the wing of the plane and I was just pointing my fingers just because I knew I could right and I took down all Of the Luftwaffe with just my index finger isn't that that's a that's a passenger airliner. Yes Innocent I had commandeered a passenger airliner. I was going to Toledo to see my sister get married I gotta say we were all even surprised she was getting married cuz she was 475 pounds but you hijacked the plane. Oh, I hijacked the plane, but I could because I told them I was a pilot

Where were you on 9-11? 2001? Oh, I was in the grave Yeah, he did he died in the late 70s But you know when faced with with these facts that you know, he lied about being a pilot He lied about being an ace in World War two Researchers they just switched to a different version of it in which Marcel was just a ride-along supervising the transfer And you'll see that if you look back to if you look at the Roswell incident Compared with say like witness to Roswell in which a lot of the same people were involved the story changes to fit whatever Nair when the debunkers come in and say like listen, this isn't true

Researchers find a story that makes sense right and then they change to that changes or matures Right, that's what I say the story ripens to what it's gonna be. Yes. I mean everybody's full of shit in this story Yeah, there's a lot. There's a lot of there's a lot of bullhawking No, but what is is there anything that he said that he has just stuck with the entire time that doesn't change that? Marcellus, yes, I it's anything that we can the material. Yeah, he points to the material I'll say the same story it never changed it never changed that the story of finding the material and like the actual What is the nature of it so the things that change or his role in the event? Yeah, puts himself in the superhero role. Yes. Yes, everybody does though

Every person in UFO research they all do they all come off as hercules every one of them is the spider-man of the story Yeah, except for Betty and Barney Hill who are they were the victims They were the it was the Aunt May and the uncle Ben of the stories And I don't even just say uncle Ben for Barney Hill because of the rights I'm just saying it because of his role the role. Yes, but no, it's He did it was the most difficult interracial marriage in the history Absolutely, but yes, everybody wants to be the main character of the story But yes, they all say the same stuff about the wreckage

Everybody says the same thing about the featherweight I beams with the insignias put on it the memory metal The weird like the super strong tin foil like shit. They all describe that and bodies Well bodies came into the fact because of Frank Frank Kaufman and the nine, but right right and Marcel He was all like as far as other things that he lied about he started it He bragged the freedom that he Had a bachelor's degree in physics that he studied at two different universities But investigators found that he never attended one of the universities and didn't finish his degree at the other And in fact his military records state that when he was inducted into the army. He listed his education as none

I mean or high school street smarts, right? You're gonna lie about it. Give yourself a master's Yeah, he went with the bachelor's I don't want to go too crazy Oh, yeah, because if the master's at some point something you're like, oh Well, you know that handle this you have a master's in physics and then he would have to be like let me show you my pen I got this panel. Yeah, and when faced with these outright lies. These aren't even exaggerations. These are outright lies Researchers rationalize this by saying that military records are quote-unquote Notoriously inaccurate and that may well be but it's a huge contradiction to on one hand say military records are notoriously Inaccurate when it doesn't suit you while using those same types of records

Involving transfers and trips and telegrams as proof that something was going on It's like Alex Jones saying the mass media is lying to us about Sandy Hook and Aurora and Boston It is complicit in the globalist takeover and then turn it around and using a new story from CNN or NBC as Because the globalist takeover your source material is from the globalist fucking source But it's all that cognitive dissonance, but it doesn't it doesn't add up in their mind But he is right that aluminum is making kids gay. That is possible. It's a bit of a confirmation bias as well there, right? Yeah, I mean, it's they they they're looking for what they're finding what they want They're looking for but you know for proof and they're finding it in the same places that they're finding

Lies, but isn't that the nature of reality in general dog meat? Yeah, it is that you seek out what you find and what you find then shapes your reality and then when your reality then becomes your own Singular reality and then it becomes reality itself Truth is boom Now UFO researchers claim that over the years they've gathered testimony from dozens even hundreds of eyewitnesses But the problem is that the vast majority of these witnesses are telling the story Second or even third hand because this happened in 1947 the the youngest witness died in 2006 So you've got people in Roswell saying say well, you know my grandpa happy

He knew a feller that was that saw some trucks going out there on that day There was a I was listening to a coast to coast from 2011 with Don Schmidt and he was saying the same thing where it's being like It's just people just being like my grandmother's told me we went outside and I was flying a kite And my grandmother was looking up at the sky and she said that kite. It's kind of like a flying saucer And you know your grandpappy he touched one once and that's what made him gay They're all their stories about like them going out in a field and grandmother staring at the sky being like them little green Man out there. Yeah, it's a fun story. It's all it's all perfect narratives That's the problem is that all these people have perfect narratives where real life doesn't have a perfect narrative

And and out of all the witnesses only seven of them claim to have actually seen the debris and a couple of those seven By the way, we're children at the time But what they do remember is afterwards that that's what's interesting though is that the memories all line up We're for that stuff with the debris the memories line up and the fact that these kids were literally Threatened with death by government spooks is a thing that is very it's interesting I mean, but it's also but you could also see that like there's things that went up from when I was a kid that I don't Really know whether their dreams or whether their reality you were molested. I know you wouldn't know. He was not To you yeah, then it becomes real to everyone

It is reality the pig goblin of Lubbock, Texas exists in no way. Let's make it clear was Marcus Parks molested Never once not one time close a couple times But out of Like out of the the seven people that witnessed the debris only five actually handled the material personally and out of those five There's at least one that maintains that there was nothing extraterrestrial about it like he says like yes There was material, you know, it was kind of weird, but it wasn't from outer space Like I don't really know where it was from, but it but he was his opinion is essentially it was weird But not that weird. Okay. Yeah, but then we're who's talking about it

You know, I mean he's goes home and he's suspended by hooks and he's got his his dogs blowing them every night It was like it was kind of weird, but you know, I've seen weird You ever turn yourself into a human lamp for a couple of days. That's what I do. Anyways, oh, I better go Well, that's mayonnaise of my balls a certain a curdle And they've been just as many military personnel to come forward throughout the years to refute the Roswell story as there had been Personnel coming out in support of it The problem is with Roswell and this is the central problem with Roswell. Just a bunch of he said she said bullshit No, he went into sir mix a lot

By the way, that's the days that both sides have very compelling stories to tell but both sides also have Gigantic gaping holes in their story and without any actual big gaping And without any actual physical evidence, there's no way that we're ever gonna know the truth But I say that you would side with the person who's who's rationally describing this is just somewhat odd because I mean I mean, they don't want there's no benefit for them, right? That's the thing is that the what are these people the the the secondary witnesses afterwards the Family of the people that were witnessing the kids at the time right people that were like it's just ruined their lives It's the same thing that is the the thing about alien

Either abductees or people who have been visited or people who've seen stuff That's a problem with them coming forward is that it literally just ruins your life every single time they're connected to it So there really is very little benefit unless you are a whore for attention Yeah, and some of these people are but it's a lot of them are not a lot of them very simple people who got swept into this story And it's it's horrible for them. Well, exactly. It's like so so there's maybe there's something to it on that end It's like they obviously saw something that's making them say something to this bearded nerd Who woke them up in the middle of the night Same freedom just shows up at your house being like, man, do you have any extra pennies because the pennies fell out of my loafers?

And I just don't feel dressed Yeah, you get the feeling they just wanted him to leave And they told him when he wanted to hear but you know if it wasn't a weather balloon And it wasn't aliens. What could it possibly be marcus? Well, we got a couple of ideas John pennett You ain't here for our you get out John pennett Recipes now this first theory comes from Annie Jacobson's Jacobson's book area 51 An uncensored history of america's top secret military base. Annie says that yes, there was a craft. Yes

There were bodies. Yeah. Yeah, and so what those bodies not alien What russians russians was a russians the whole time But if they were just russians then why were they mistaken for aliens by all of the witnesses? Well, this Was by design if if you have a chance read the last chapter of area 51 This is what happened. I started researching this the russian angle and this this book kept popping up I remember her being on the colbert rapport in night in 2011 And she was talking about this theory that we're about to deeply go into and is it's very interesting and to me It's another layer of disinformation. We'll talk about deeply about it. Well, apparently

Stalin's plan was to take a bunch of mentally challenged Children like kids that were too smart and so they needed to they needed to be challenged like it was like school was easy for them Right. Yes. No, this is this is advanced classes for the russians You would take these mentally challenged children Hideously deform them using mangula style tactics Load them into an experimental aircraft Fly said aircraft over the border from mexico crash land them near a population and when the Deformed returning children crawled out of the wreckage. They would spark a war of the world style panic. It's a balloon

That's a problem. They kept saying that when they came out of it. It's a balloon Um Unbelievable. It's a great idea To me, it's the thing that makes the most sense. It has slowly eroded our education system We're doing terrible, uh, you know against the chinese and things like that So I think they might have won her theory is not that it's mangula style tactics her theory is that it was mangula himself And the russians That wasn't in the last chapter. No, the russians had hired him in between

After world war two, he went into hiding. Yeah, stalin Kept him alive. Basically. They caught him kept him alive just to make this experiment And this is a part of what they hurt her anonymous contact and the entire book all of the other contexts that talk to her about area 51 They they state their names they go on the record or they talk about the top secret programs that are happening in area 51 This man said that spoke anonymously and he said that yes that stalin and mangula Designed them literally drew them on paper. Right. They created the modern gray together It's because stalin used to do this thing because mangula used to do this thing back in the day Where he would split open jewish people's heads and put extra skull in them just to see what they'd look like

Yeah, strange it turns out. No, of course the world's word the world war one style panic was just step one Step two would come when us americans admittedly An excitable people Clogged up the air traffic and radar systems with false reports of flying saucers leaving the entire country open To a rusky air attack It's even possible or actually if you listen to henry It is probable that these deformed mangula babies were the inspiration for the infamous gray alien appearance All were about four feet tall huge heads have normally shaped eyes and were besieged by other quote-unquote

anatomical conundrums as annie jakemson which means they were smooth down there Oh, I see Is it possible? They were just trying to get rid of them. Just get them out of the country Get the uh the the children that they didn't want. I mean there was only like four of them I'm sure russia had a lot more than there's four they still do and do not adopt from russia Dude bait and switch And a part of the reason why they flipped out about this crash was because they were using german held A hover technology and they so they they did take the debris that crashed and sent it to for

They sent it to where was it the right field right field in order to Re-engineer it because we wanted to get that technology from them because I guess the people that we were paying on the operation paperclip Dole weren't giving that up yet either right reverse engineer. Yeah now and before we start taking the moral high ground here as americans Know that jakemson's source also claimed that the united states was doing the exact same thing Which is how they knew that what the kids were when they saw the kids all deformed and shit They said they they picked these guys through e g and g which was a group of engineers that were involved with the manhattan project as well It's six guys and they flew them out to nevada, which is also where the name area 51 came from it came from this was this experiment was set up in 1951 an area 51 got named for the year

And so they showed up to this area and they gave them like a fucking memo that said listen What we're going to try and do we're going to reverse engineer these ships and then you're also going to figure out what happened to these kids And and and how do we how do we peel it back and the reason why they knew that they were children is because the us government It was already doing the same shit. Oh, I thought it was because it was a bunch of fun drawings inside the plane Children loved to write on walls. They really do but then they said they found two kids that were semi-conscious after the after the The crash and they said they put them in cylinders of gel with um with nose like air hooks up like independence day Like an independence day or in like every alien thing you've ever seen that they were suspended in gel and looked after

And this is a part where it's it's just so it's crazier than alien And those children grew up to be our friend Holden McNeely And patrick ewing. Oh, I love Patrick Great new york nick now the majority of these experiments which supposedly continued until 1973 were performed at the Dixon Institute for the retarded in illinois and the new jersey state colony for the feeble minded Both now closed. I heard that they have some of the worst science classes in the country But some of the best recesses. Yeah, oh my god Now all this was done on the authority of the atomic energy commission

Who was the organization in charge of the post war development of peaceful atomic science and technology? And the man behind it all was the head of the u.s. Office of scientific research and development a mr Vannevar bush always there well vannevar bush not related to the president or nazi bushes Vannevar bush. That's an incredible name. Isn't it though? I'm gonna name my child vannevar. Vannevar is a browski Yeah, vannevar was a totally different bush Vannevar would go on to co-found what was what is now the fifth largest defense contractor in the world Raytheon, which means maybe not so coincidentally Light from the gods. Wow terrified. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's a that's a lofty name. Yeah. Yeah, man

Oh, you should be like mass motor weapons. It should just be called like we build good things or like good fun Have have fun build things kill stuff speaking of kill stuff. That brings us to the nazi Always there. I watched a special on hitler's bunker God and berlin very good and the nazis were attacked very aggressively Absolutely. Hitler did not think they were gonna come to berlin and when they did he said, what are you doing? I never thought they would attack berlin. Is that that bunker right now that'd be like a $2,500 studio new york Oh, it's a beautiful bunker. It's a parking lot now. No. Well, it's still there. But yes, but yes, it's underground

It's under the parking lot Now supposedly the nazis were masters of ufo technology ufo like technology right Can we say a pedantic piece of shit, but but i mean I mean, hillar was a bad person. Yeah, okay. Never been good. Yeah, but he did have a fascination with certain things that are kind of interesting You know the supernatural to macabre. Obviously, we did a whole episode on the satanism aspects of uh, nazi absolutely the occult stuff hillar was i mean He was curious curious curious, you know, i just wish that most of the their jumps in science hadn't completely featured uh, basically every jump they did in science featured at least one

Hook on the ship that would be for elongating a penis That's true You know and as far as the nazi's in ufo's go and as far as the nazi's in advanced technology goes ci agent gene poti Said with a fair amount of confidence hitler invented stout Is that your interpretation of a fair amount of confidence from g is that what gene poti sounds hitler invented stout There we go. That's a fair amount of that's a fair amount and hitler used that technology to build his stealth bomber the horton hoe

229 God, it sounds like a special like a huge prostitute. Yeah a huge prostitute or just like five pounds of mashed potatoes Now the flying saucer wing of the luft wafa was reportedly called the wonder wafa and naturally When we snatched up all those net nazi scientists after world war two through operation paper clip We got in on some of that sweet voodoo wafa action. Can we start going back to calling them nazi's? Yeah, nazi's nazi's them or even ratsies. Yeah, ratsies. Yeah, get the ratsies and the ruskies get them out of here Now 2014 documentary called ufo's in the third right. It's a great watch and it's a lot of fun fifth date materials That documentary claimed that the craft recovered at roswell was actually a ufo designed by engineer's rudolf schriever and auto

hebermaul Between 1941 and 1943 and the plans for this craft came over to america with the nazi's We tried building it Bucked it up and crashed it in the desert in 1947 now this and became the roswell inside now This is where I just I want to say again the the layers of diff's information and the stories that have been built into roswell Are all completely insane. I wonder why some of them exist Why did this officer quote unquote anonymously tell annie jacobson that this is what's happening at area 51 That this is what happened. I like why did that story come out of nowhere?

Why did why did like I maybe that is why they wanted it so to keep it so secret? But it's just so nuts. It's even more nuts than aliens Well, the russian one is nuts the nazi one kind of makes sense, but the nazi one is also The nazi one is the most reasonable theory. We put forth so far, but is the ufo technology even real We don't see planes hovering now. It's 2016 Maybe it just didn't work very well But it just seems like if they were zips out but all over the place in fucking disks that had zero point energy Whatever the fuck it's called. We'd have it. There'd be places. Maybe it was uh unsustainable. Maybe

Maybe The airplane industry in conjunction with the automobile industry. I'm about to leave. I'm about to leave. No, it's true No, maybe it's very possible that you know that this is energy fuel companies Yeah, a free clean energy source Uh would be hidden from us or it could be the exact opposite that it is cost prohibitive that it takes You know a ton of plutonium to make zero point energy or it could be that the power sources were uh from an unknown source If it was people we would have zero problem to a week would get rid of the homeless problem in a second We just grind them up into ufo fuel

Yeah, or it could be that we should talk about that on fox news tomorrow. Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do it. Grind up homeless people because they can be used for ufo technology. No, it's a fuel ufo technology That will please your base do it. Yeah, I'm do it, man. I guarantee I do it Guarantee it then of course, uh if it's not the nazis and it's not the russians Of course, there's the possibility that it is God now this is from the invisibles. You're excited about this. Well, I'm very excited about this And I think grant morrisons the invisibles while it is uh fiction honestly just as credible as any other thing Any other source that we use for alien episodes. Why is it never the portuguese?

They are having a great time. They don't need to be involved in any of this horseshit They're literally eating tapas. They have beautiful beaches right the people are beautiful. Why the fuck would they get involved in this? It's like morocco. You never hear about this shit for morocco. All right, because they're just having a great time Yeah, the portuguese had their time like hundreds of years ago. They did all the colonization all the exploration They literally invented slavery. Yeah, they did bad shit. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Now This theory this grant morrisons theory it says that what was captured in new mexico and 1947 was for all intents and purposes God here is an abridged version from what I remember The aforementioned trinity atomic test in the new mexico desert opened a hole in quote unquote reality

And when robert oppenheimer uttered the words i am become death destroyer of worlds He invoked the idiot god of nuclear war which caused the creator of their universe in the form of magic mirror To goop out into the new mexico desert where it was promptly scooped up and kept captive in you guessed it Dulce Underground base so it's either doidoy russians or gods. Yes, and maybe there's no difference between the two Oh, okay. I had a I had a guidance counselor in high in high school that said how he knew that god was real Was because a mentally challenged nephew of his made him a birthday cake once and it was like and that mischipant Kike was the was the real son of love from the universe. That's the miracle. That's what he said a cake

Yeah, he's missing chromosomes. I see he's a mistake. I think he's beautiful. I think that's why he should be allowed to live Yeah, or run a restaurant. That's right. And there is a great There's a great down syndrome child who hugs a lot of people at a restaurant. He doesn't run the record. He doesn't He doesn't get it into it. He doesn't look at the quicken account. Admittedly. He probably does not make the schedule For those that don't know youtube the story. It's a feel-good story about a person who it loves to hug hugs everyone Of course, if it's not russians if it's not nazis if it's not god Who else could it be?

Oh wait something you know what don't blame the fucking devil Don't blame the devil don't blame the devil the devil's fine with you cool barely exists and you're you're nothing You are nothing. Why are you yelling at people? I'm already mad. It would be so much cooler if it was the devil Yeah, it would it would be way more metal and of course he crashes the plane is getting blown by a butt like an eight-headed lizard demon woman Fuck yeah. Well, it wasn't the devil inside the plane. Oh, it was the devil Controlling the aircraft now this information comes from the highly reputable echoes of enoc.com Yeah, and it's a site that specializes in biblical research of the paranormal. Yeah, and the man who runs the site Jim Wilhelms

actually moved himself And his wife to Roswell from Detroit in 2003 Following quotes a calling from the Lord to stand in the gap from one of the biggest lies to come against the faith in a Personal God since before the flood. He also Detroit is not doing well. No good city to get out. No, it's the wife They're voluntarily or is she a hostage right good question He even went so far as to open up a competing museum slash shop

across the street from the international UFO museum and research center in Roswell Which he is not a fan of unbelievable although if I remember correctly for my trip there last summer It was no longer open for business weird. It wasn't a hit strange Now despite having his own storefront Wilhelms said his ideas are quote just plain ignored by colleagues on both the UFO and Christian sides Nonetheless Wilhelms has managed to find a passage in the bible that he believes with all his heart

Is directly related to the Roswell incident again? This is an abridged version, but it is from Zechariah chapter 5 verses 1 through 11 Then I turned and raised my eyes and saw there was a flying scroll and he said to me What do you see? So I answered I see a flying scroll Oh Then the angel who talked with me came out and said to me lift your eyes now and see what this is that goes forward So I asked what is it?

And he said it is the basket that is going forward and he also said this is there resemblance throughout the earth Here is a lead disc lifted up and this is a woman sitting inside the basket Then he said this Is wickedness and he thrust her down into the basket It's wickedness and threw the lead cover over its mouth Then I raised my eyes and looked and there were two women coming with the wind and their wings It's wickedness for they had wings like the wings of a stork And they lifted up the basket between earth and heaven

So I said to the angel who talked with me where they carry the basket And he said to me you build a house for it in the land of shinar when it is ready the basket will be set there on its base I mean it just sounds like they used to write down night terrors and then it became the bible What is all this mean though nothing How is anybody religious there's a woman in a basket There's a woman in a basket and somebody dropped a newspaper in front of a fan. It's the balloon. It's the balloon

She's got store queens. Oh, I see. Yeah. Yeah. So will helms He goes on for pages and pages on his Extremely badly designed website. Seriously. This is one of the worst Alien sites that I have ever seen. It's thick. It's no it's thick I'm also talking about it's got the the flashing stars gift background The uh table of contents is a red text on a yellow scale like yellow like reptilian scales background Impossible to read this guy needs to get his shit together. But the breakdown of it is this Yeah, which I really like this is the headline the craft discovered at roswell was actually sent by the devil to support

panspermia Which is the theory that life on earth originated in the stars rather than from god's own finger Yes, and not only that But the technology where we're covered from roswell is not actually helping us as a species But is rather speeding us ever more quickly into the end times from revelations Nine one and the fifth angel sounded and I saw a star fall from heaven Unto the earth and to him was given the key of the bottomless pit. Let's go Let's go

And the bottomless in the bottomless pit Of course refers not to the gaping maw of hades as one would imagine But rather something else that tends to go hand in hand with aliens It's a cult knowledge which is basically just knowing what ruins are Knowing that candles can help you and how all of that can get you late. Yeah I mean, yeah, I believe it. We should do an episode on revelations. Oh, we will I have a I have a wonderful book that I'm about to crack open. We are absolutely doing an episode on revelations. Yeah Great chapter. Oh, it's wonderful

But willhelm says that roswell and its accompanying interest in aliens is one of the events that set off the occult bonfire That's been burning through our country and our world for decades now And as the final word of proof willhelm presented a single line from the gospel of luke chapter 10 verse 17 I beheld satan as lightning fall from heaven That's double bass I gotta say bro, I love your solo in the bottomless pit of maw, but I gotta say you can be cooler than some of the double bass It's like, but I just got this double bass man Um, roswell. Oh my goodness. I um, I'm

Something happened. Yeah, what it was right you tell me you tell me Hey, that's what people have been asking me for the last, you know, three weeks a month So like so it's the next episode like fucking roswell, man. You're like, huh, so what do you think happened? Shut up like You try you try it's literally convinced consuming my life The last two weeks all I've been doing is reading watching roswell. Yeah, I think it's a balloon You think it's a balloon? I think it's a balloon Yeah, you know, you know my thing is I don't think that it's a balloon, but I think that it's

Like it's well It's a balloon to somebody. You know, I mean, what is a balloon exact? I don't think it's yeah, what's a balloon? It's not if it's not a balloon to us. It's a balloon to them. Yeah I mean if it's aliens just probably like I wish we hadn't lost that taco truck on r- in roswell last week You know, I mean like that's all they could they don't know what it is. Yeah, right, right But I also believe there's something too. There's a book I'm reading right now If you want to know everything there is to know about modern ufo's Uh in one book it's this book and it's very interesting

It's if you are a person like me whose whole life has been marred and destroyed by your ufo knowledge It's a lot of stuff that you already know, but it's it's very Um useful and it puts it all in place But the one thing he kind of talks about is the nature of ufo's it's very interesting and the idea of them being either natural or or handmade and whether or not that is mechanical or animal and what we're looking at for For ufo's a lot of times that if they are interdimensional crafts, they are something from another realm entirely They can be something that we can never understand like literally something like a natural machine like a machine that is alive That it's a ufo thing that literally the ufos themselves are alive and they can come through and there are said another type of entity

Altogether so yeah, maybe he crashed. Maybe he had a fucking heart attack. Maybe he was alive And it's fucking brain aneurysm and it died in the middle of a goddamn desert because there were a lot of old people fucking died We've reached the max Henry Henry we're losing you Henry come back Henry put the book down just for a second Okay psychedelic nature to aliens. Yes, it's difficult to put your finger I think for right now We have reached our limit. I think we alien conversation Henry. We have to keep you alive Oh, I'm bringing this book on the plane. I'm about to go. No, but don't start yelling. Oh, I'll tell them being like this plane's alive What if the plane's alive the plane might be alive I think you're gonna get kicked off the flight terrorism is really a hot topic right now. So be careful like the store

Yes, like just like the like the store. Let's go. Oh go get chain wallets in a corn t-shirt Oh, I love a good chain wallet. You can't steal a chain wallet All right, we'll go to the facebook page the last podcast and all the facebook page and let us know what you think about Roswell Please do and of course this weekend On saturday that would be the 26th saturday march 26 Our live show our monthly live show is happening right here at the creek in the cave Actually, every show here at the creek is now every weekend show is now selling tickets. It's uh five dollars

You can buy tickets in advance last month. We packed the place out. So be sure to get your tickets in advance because I'm pretty sure we're gonna sell out on this go to creek lse dot com To get your tickets for this month's live show march 26 10 p.m Creek in the cave long island city queens new york off the g-train and the seven And even if it's even if it's sold out, we've got a great bar here. So we'll be able to hang out and we always Get fucking hammered and start swinging at people start yelling at people Um buy the book you folks for the 21st century mind and sit and yell at people about it Yeah, and we're also going to be showing the uh the show downstairs. We've got a little

Projector in a jumbotron downstairs. So even if you can't get in you can still watch the show down there for free We're not going to be charging for the jumbotron. You won't be able to smell my beautiful cologne though Yeah, that's the problem. You want to be up in the theater, but yeah, it's a good secondary prize. Yeah It's cannabis by santal And of course, uh, thank you everybody for uh supporting us on patreon If you want to support us on patreon go to patreon.com slash last podcast on the left every little bit counts every tiny little bit Counts uh, so much we've got i'm in the middle of booking I would say about five different out-of-town shows

All over the united states uh here in the coming months, uh the overseas shows It's it's sliding in it's sliding in so uh just kind of keep air We're going to be thank you so much for it because of your patreon support We're now able to come to cities near you all across the united states and hopefully soon Uh around the world and if you just want a last podcast on the left t-shirt go to cave comedy radio dot com slash Merch and check out all of our other shows while you're there. That's right. Uh ccr Thank you guys so much for listening listening to all the shows uh markets and i do we got a political show called abling It's top pet if you want to feel like you're getting drunk with your friends listen to round table of gentlemen

If you want to listen to some good music that you never even knew existed listen to uh lucky bone show lucky bone show mixclub.com Slash marcus parks. Thank you. If you want to hear marcus talk about relationships with henry's sister Listen to sex I love page seven actually it's not really relates. It's more mental health Oh, okay. Yeah, it's more if you got bad if you got bad brains like i do uh, come on a bad email Yeah, no, it's a great. It's a it's a really a page seven is also fantastic. That's right entertainment and watch my character special on netflix, please And berate netflix for not giving me a television show already. Yeah, even though they already took a gigantic one

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